WEBVTT - Just B Dating: HARD LAUNCH 0:00:12.440 --> 0:00:16.319 So I hard launched this weekend, and I want to 0:00:16.320 --> 0:00:19.919 discuss that a little bit, because things on paper are 0:00:19.960 --> 0:00:24.160 different than things in reality. So in my history, I've 0:00:24.200 --> 0:00:27.360 had private relationships. I had a full, over a year 0:00:27.400 --> 0:00:30.080 relationship with someone that was very serious while I was 0:00:30.120 --> 0:00:33.879 on The Housewives. When I came back, this person was 0:00:34.040 --> 0:00:36.680 very wanted to be very private, and some stuff came 0:00:36.720 --> 0:00:38.720 out about them just as a result. Because if you 0:00:38.760 --> 0:00:40.320 see us on the beach, someone's going to say who 0:00:40.400 --> 0:00:44.199 someone is, and no matter what, inevitably somebody's going to 0:00:44.840 --> 0:00:50.000 come out. Now, people like Ryan Goslin and Ava Mendez 0:00:50.280 --> 0:00:54.920 or Harrison Ford and Calisa Flockhart or Kim Kardashian and 0:00:55.360 --> 0:00:59.200 the guy she's with now, the race car driver. She's 0:00:59.280 --> 0:01:02.360 not saying it like the paparazzi's getting pictures and a 0:01:02.400 --> 0:01:03.360 story is being told. 0:01:03.840 --> 0:01:07.240 She's not saying anything. And she who has had Reggie. 0:01:06.920 --> 0:01:10.520 Bush on her show, Kanye and her show, Pete Davidson 0:01:10.560 --> 0:01:13.360 on her show, She's definitely going through that discussion in 0:01:13.440 --> 0:01:17.520 her mind as well about what to share. Chris Jenners 0:01:17.520 --> 0:01:21.000 had Corey on the show. There are so many different 0:01:21.080 --> 0:01:24.520 iterations of this. Kristin Cavaleri did a show with Jay Cutler. 0:01:25.080 --> 0:01:27.640 Then she dated the younger guy and kind of discussed it, 0:01:27.680 --> 0:01:31.000 like you go through these waves, Tory and Dean, like 0:01:31.319 --> 0:01:34.360 you go through these waves of what you're going to 0:01:34.880 --> 0:01:37.640 discuss and not look at Courtney and Travis, Like they 0:01:37.680 --> 0:01:40.800 were so public about affection because they're in love and 0:01:40.840 --> 0:01:42.960 they want to show people machine Gun Kelly and Meghan, 0:01:43.040 --> 0:01:45.840 and then something happened and then that went wrong, like 0:01:46.200 --> 0:01:49.000 because people bring you in and then they can't just 0:01:49.040 --> 0:01:51.440 spit you out when it goes down. So j Lo 0:01:51.600 --> 0:01:54.920 and Ben brought everybody in like he didn't really, but 0:01:55.040 --> 0:01:58.120 she did. She kind of included everyone and talked about 0:01:58.160 --> 0:02:00.480 it and gushed about it because she was excited. And 0:02:00.520 --> 0:02:02.840 there's an adrenaline too that it's almost like the way 0:02:02.840 --> 0:02:08.160 that oxytocin makes you so like into someone and like hormones, 0:02:08.200 --> 0:02:11.280 et cetera. Like you're excited and you just when you're 0:02:11.320 --> 0:02:14.000 in the bubble, in the love bubble, you don't think 0:02:14.040 --> 0:02:18.000 anything could ever go wrong, right, So there's a whole 0:02:18.880 --> 0:02:21.640 discipline to it. Also, like someone like a moll and George, 0:02:21.800 --> 0:02:24.079 I mean, actually he does discuss the relationship. He does 0:02:24.120 --> 0:02:26.520 say they do tell their story and how in love 0:02:26.560 --> 0:02:28.400 they are, and then other people never discuss it. Like 0:02:28.400 --> 0:02:30.160 I said, a Ryan or Eva, they never even go 0:02:30.160 --> 0:02:32.040 in a red carpet together. You'd never see their kids. 0:02:32.280 --> 0:02:35.840 There's so many different iterations, but also there are so 0:02:35.840 --> 0:02:37.400 many different iterations to fame. 0:02:37.560 --> 0:02:39.760 Like Ryan and Ava are quiet. 0:02:39.720 --> 0:02:41.200 Until they're doing a movie, and then they have to 0:02:41.240 --> 0:02:42.600 promote the movie, but it has nothing to do with 0:02:42.600 --> 0:02:45.240 their relationship. They can have a normal life, you know, 0:02:45.360 --> 0:02:49.320 Julia Roberts and Danny Motor normal life. But when they 0:02:49.400 --> 0:02:52.120 first got together and he had an issue with his 0:02:52.160 --> 0:02:55.280 ex wife, Julia, I remember wore like a T shirt 0:02:55.440 --> 0:02:57.560 about it. Like it's just like you go through these 0:02:57.919 --> 0:03:00.880 sort of phases of privacy, non private, and there are 0:03:00.919 --> 0:03:03.880 different types of talent. I share a lot with my audience. 0:03:03.919 --> 0:03:06.960 I don't share everything. I am a very private person. 0:03:07.120 --> 0:03:09.680 I am a very secretive person in many ways. I 0:03:09.800 --> 0:03:12.919 just protect myself and the people around me. When I 0:03:12.960 --> 0:03:15.000 was on reality television show, it was my job to 0:03:15.080 --> 0:03:17.799 do that. And also I had a show that was 0:03:17.800 --> 0:03:19.480 supposed to be about my business and then it ended 0:03:19.560 --> 0:03:21.840 up becoming about a wedding I was planning, and I 0:03:21.880 --> 0:03:23.520 was trying to fight the current, but it was just 0:03:23.560 --> 0:03:25.840 so hard to do because it was just what was 0:03:25.880 --> 0:03:28.240 going on, and it's just it's not the way that 0:03:28.280 --> 0:03:29.760 it would seem like. You could be like, why would 0:03:29.800 --> 0:03:32.040 you show that? Why would you include that? The game 0:03:32.040 --> 0:03:33.960 moves quickly, so let me explain it to you in 0:03:34.360 --> 0:03:38.320 my life with a launch. So, I am never attracted 0:03:38.320 --> 0:03:40.640 to someone who is a public person. I am only 0:03:40.640 --> 0:03:44.720 attracted to someone who has a small following, if any, 0:03:44.920 --> 0:03:49.320 doesn't really use social media unless it's just private or 0:03:49.360 --> 0:03:51.040 for their business, or not at all. 0:03:51.200 --> 0:03:53.400 Mostly not at all. I'm not attracted to. 0:03:53.360 --> 0:03:57.120 Someone who has ever been on a red carpet or 0:03:58.240 --> 0:04:00.920 is a public person. Not because there can only be 0:04:00.960 --> 0:04:03.920 one peacock. It's because I just find it to be 0:04:03.920 --> 0:04:05.480 a turnoff, and I find a lot of what I 0:04:05.560 --> 0:04:07.640 do to be a turnoff. But also I found my 0:04:07.680 --> 0:04:09.920 way into this. I did not ever want to post. 0:04:10.560 --> 0:04:12.400 I didn't understand why someone would post if they were 0:04:12.440 --> 0:04:14.400 eating or where they were. When Twitter came out, I 0:04:14.400 --> 0:04:17.040 was like, what the hell? It just seemed so crazy, 0:04:17.320 --> 0:04:20.200 But then it became a business, and as a business 0:04:20.400 --> 0:04:25.000 I really understand it. But then also as a creative expression, 0:04:25.120 --> 0:04:27.960 I really really really understand it like as a way 0:04:28.040 --> 0:04:31.960 to share humor, and people want to peek into my 0:04:32.080 --> 0:04:34.000 life and bring them with me. And people don't get 0:04:34.000 --> 0:04:36.440 to go to amazing places and trips and stuff. 0:04:36.520 --> 0:04:37.400 I want to include them. 0:04:37.480 --> 0:04:40.760 Okay, So now enter me dating, and I'm talking about 0:04:40.839 --> 0:04:43.279 dates that go wrong and go right. Enter me dating 0:04:43.320 --> 0:04:45.240 and try to convince men that, like, I do have 0:04:45.279 --> 0:04:47.680 a private life and it is separate because it is, 0:04:47.720 --> 0:04:50.080 and I kind of share what I want and people 0:04:50.080 --> 0:04:52.000 are hesitant. They don't know what that animal is going 0:04:52.040 --> 0:04:55.360 to be like. As Tim Dillon, the comedian said, fame 0:04:55.480 --> 0:04:58.520 is the great destabilizer. Like, you make a lot of money, 0:04:58.560 --> 0:05:00.520 it will definitely fuck some other people up and they'll 0:05:00.520 --> 0:05:03.160 think of you differently. But you become famous, it just 0:05:03.320 --> 0:05:06.840 is a destabilizer. People want different things from you. It's 0:05:06.880 --> 0:05:09.760 just a different currency. People grab at you, say they 0:05:09.839 --> 0:05:11.839 dated you, went on a date with you. You know, everyone 0:05:11.920 --> 0:05:14.880 just sort of like wants to contact high. So now 0:05:14.920 --> 0:05:17.360 you start dating, and I'm not going to discuss what 0:05:17.400 --> 0:05:20.400 I'm doing right now, but I remember dating this guy 0:05:20.440 --> 0:05:22.360 who was a private person and didn't like the public 0:05:22.400 --> 0:05:24.760 aspect of it, but fell in love with me. And 0:05:24.800 --> 0:05:26.720 that's kind of What's happened time and time again. Someone 0:05:26.760 --> 0:05:30.640 falls in love with me, and the public aspect of 0:05:30.680 --> 0:05:31.760 it is a byproduct. 0:05:31.800 --> 0:05:32.520 They don't want it. 0:05:32.600 --> 0:05:34.880 And really most of these people don't want it. The 0:05:34.880 --> 0:05:37.160 people that I choose, they don't want it. It's not like, 0:05:37.560 --> 0:05:40.040 oh they're with her firm money or they want I've 0:05:40.080 --> 0:05:42.400 gotten my picker has gotten much better. I've done the 0:05:42.440 --> 0:05:44.800 work I took like a year off. I have been 0:05:44.839 --> 0:05:47.600 really intentional about dating. And I don't mean that i've 0:05:47.640 --> 0:05:50.039 been intentional. I've gone through phases where it's intentional I 0:05:50.080 --> 0:05:53.000 want to meet someone, then I've gone through intentional meeting. 0:05:53.080 --> 0:05:56.719 I'm not going to spend any time on anything unless 0:05:56.720 --> 0:05:59.000 it could be something otherwise I'd rather be alone. And 0:05:59.040 --> 0:06:01.760 that's kind of where I've come to. So I was 0:06:01.839 --> 0:06:04.479 dating this guy and it was serious. He fell in 0:06:04.520 --> 0:06:06.960 love with me despite the public. And we were at 0:06:06.960 --> 0:06:08.800 REO's one night and we were with a bunch of 0:06:08.800 --> 0:06:11.240 my friends, and I wasn't posting him at all. I 0:06:11.279 --> 0:06:14.159 would be posting myself and what I'm doing and the drink. 0:06:14.440 --> 0:06:16.839 But what happens is we're going to interesting places and 0:06:16.880 --> 0:06:20.240 doing interesting things with people. People are coming up to 0:06:20.279 --> 0:06:23.080 me and this person next to me becomes sort of invisible. 0:06:23.240 --> 0:06:25.600 It doesn't matter how good looking they are, how successful 0:06:25.600 --> 0:06:27.680 they are, how big fish in their own pond they are, 0:06:28.120 --> 0:06:31.599 they become invisible, which is why fame is the great destabilizer. 0:06:31.920 --> 0:06:33.200 I was once with a guy and I brought them 0:06:33.240 --> 0:06:36.000 to Mark Barnett's house, and they're big fish in their pond, 0:06:36.080 --> 0:06:38.800 and they just people would like look past them, like 0:06:39.320 --> 0:06:40.839 hand them a camera to take a picture of us, 0:06:40.880 --> 0:06:43.440 look straight at me, and it makes me feel self conscious. 0:06:43.480 --> 0:06:45.279 I have made rules because the person with me in 0:06:45.320 --> 0:06:48.040 the beginning will hold the camera and be like so nice. 0:06:48.080 --> 0:06:51.520 I'm like, no, you're not a photographer, Like respectfully, I'll 0:06:51.560 --> 0:06:53.200 handle it. I'll decay, let's take a selfie. Like I 0:06:53.200 --> 0:06:54.640 don't want the person next to me to feel like 0:06:54.640 --> 0:06:57.080 they're my photography assistant. And I also don't want them 0:06:57.120 --> 0:06:59.920 to be invisible. So you have to be a very 0:07:00.200 --> 0:07:02.719 secure person to be with someone that's famous. And you 0:07:02.720 --> 0:07:06.200 could be the best looking, best athlete, richest everything, and 0:07:06.240 --> 0:07:09.279 you're with someone who's famous, and you're gonna be like, wow, okay, 0:07:09.360 --> 0:07:11.840 so think about me. I have a big personality and charismatic. 0:07:11.880 --> 0:07:14.160 I know everybody I move a lot of product. People 0:07:14.160 --> 0:07:16.280 want to piece to me. So I've had that happen. 0:07:16.320 --> 0:07:18.400 So now I'm at REO's with this other guy and 0:07:18.880 --> 0:07:21.000 I'm taking pictures and he's like, no, you can include 0:07:21.000 --> 0:07:23.040 me in the picture. Like he wants to be in 0:07:23.040 --> 0:07:25.080 the picture because he doesn't want to be this invisible 0:07:25.080 --> 0:07:28.200 weirdo when in his life he's a big personality. So 0:07:28.280 --> 0:07:32.200 what happens is a person that I'm with without I 0:07:32.240 --> 0:07:35.000 won't ever share anybody else's truth. But like in a 0:07:35.040 --> 0:07:39.559 situation where I'm now like I am in something, Okay, 0:07:39.640 --> 0:07:41.080 I'm in something, do you have to. 0:07:41.040 --> 0:07:41.840 Promise you that? 0:07:42.000 --> 0:07:44.280 Like, you know, do I want to fully include you? 0:07:44.680 --> 0:07:47.880 So then you know it's more pressure on us and 0:07:47.920 --> 0:07:50.400 that you could say, oh he'll be gone or I 0:07:50.400 --> 0:07:53.000 hope he has a lot of money, or she'll dump him, 0:07:53.080 --> 0:07:55.240 or she's crazy or she goes through that every minute. 0:07:55.280 --> 0:07:57.480 Like I'm a fifty five year old woman. Have I dated? 0:07:57.560 --> 0:08:00.120 Yes? Has every man that I've dated dated the same 0:08:00.200 --> 0:08:01.000 number of people that I have? 0:08:01.120 --> 0:08:02.080 Yes? So fuck off? 0:08:02.120 --> 0:08:05.480 Okay, So there's that, But like every relationship is not 0:08:05.560 --> 0:08:09.040 guaranteed to last forever, Like every relationship I've been in 0:08:09.120 --> 0:08:11.040 when I'm in love like what I love it to 0:08:11.080 --> 0:08:11.600 last forever. 0:08:11.680 --> 0:08:13.840 Yes, you know, are there a lot of factors in life? Yes? 0:08:13.880 --> 0:08:16.200 Do I have a daughter? Yes? Do I live in Florida? Yes. 0:08:16.280 --> 0:08:18.520 I I'm just saying to you that, Like, there's a 0:08:18.560 --> 0:08:21.320 pressure to launching and you could keep everything private, but 0:08:21.320 --> 0:08:24.680 there's also a pressure to making someone be like your 0:08:24.760 --> 0:08:27.720 plus one and not including them when they have a family, 0:08:27.760 --> 0:08:31.040 they have friends, they have people who have comments and thoughts, 0:08:31.040 --> 0:08:34.600 and their life changes too once a paparazzi gets us 0:08:34.640 --> 0:08:37.240 and it becomes public and people are speculating, They're getting 0:08:37.320 --> 0:08:39.600 text people reaching out to them, people want things from them. 0:08:39.800 --> 0:08:41.600 They have a lot to navigate too. They need to 0:08:41.600 --> 0:08:43.959 be coached through this too. They don't understand this life right, 0:08:44.440 --> 0:08:48.160 and so you're trying to be a partner. There does 0:08:48.240 --> 0:08:50.960 come a point where that other person would like to 0:08:51.000 --> 0:08:54.440 not be the invisible person. Okay they're not saying it, 0:08:54.520 --> 0:09:09.920 but you just feel you just know it, and you're 0:09:09.920 --> 0:09:14.400 also proud and you want to show the person that 0:09:14.440 --> 0:09:17.320 you're with that they mean something to you and that 0:09:17.320 --> 0:09:19.600 they're not just like because someone comes up to me 0:09:19.720 --> 0:09:22.080 at a dinner. Men come up to me and they 0:09:22.080 --> 0:09:24.360 think I'm single, and they don't think take this seriously, 0:09:24.480 --> 0:09:26.880 you know, And like through my dating community, people are 0:09:26.920 --> 0:09:28.880 talking to the woman who runs it and saying, like, 0:09:28.960 --> 0:09:31.560 what about Bethany, And they don't. You know, I have 0:09:31.559 --> 0:09:33.760 a guy that I used to date that he said 0:09:33.760 --> 0:09:35.679 to me, until you're married, I'm not gonna believe it, 0:09:35.720 --> 0:09:38.760 like you're my person, and I'm like, no, I'm with someone. 0:09:38.840 --> 0:09:42.800 So you're trying to like validate what you're doing, right, 0:09:43.400 --> 0:09:46.440 And so for me, that's what a launch is. It 0:09:46.480 --> 0:09:49.079 doesn't mean like I'm going back to the reality show 0:09:49.120 --> 0:09:53.720 every day, let's share everything that I'm doing, or everyone's 0:09:53.760 --> 0:09:55.720 gonna be in every TikTok. I'm just saying, when you're 0:09:55.760 --> 0:09:58.800 somewhere and you're at a concert and you're roller skating 0:09:59.240 --> 0:10:00.880 and you're doing something thing, you kind of want to 0:10:00.920 --> 0:10:04.319 show your people that bought you your house, bought your products, 0:10:04.360 --> 0:10:06.040 connect with you, make you laugh, were there for you, 0:10:06.080 --> 0:10:07.920 and you had a miscarriage when your mom died, Like 0:10:07.920 --> 0:10:09.520 you want to share a little with them, and you 0:10:09.559 --> 0:10:11.720 don't want to get burned because of it. You're trying 0:10:11.720 --> 0:10:14.440 to navigate not getting burned because of it. So it's 0:10:14.480 --> 0:10:17.840 like a dance to decide what to share, and I 0:10:17.960 --> 0:10:20.240 try to navigate it, and you're dealing with I'm much 0:10:20.280 --> 0:10:22.160 just dealing with you guys and what to share with you. 0:10:22.200 --> 0:10:25.000 I'm dealing with what to share with my partner and 0:10:25.080 --> 0:10:28.520 like people on my team trying to like shoot video 0:10:28.600 --> 0:10:30.679 but then cut somebody out or you know, there's just 0:10:30.720 --> 0:10:32.400 a lot. And also if someone sees a video that 0:10:32.400 --> 0:10:34.240 they were in and you just like cut them out, 0:10:34.600 --> 0:10:36.440 and they might want to share with their friends. They 0:10:36.520 --> 0:10:38.640 might be on a private account and want to share 0:10:38.679 --> 0:10:40.480 what we did because that's what they normally do. Now 0:10:40.520 --> 0:10:43.080 they're going to hide me Like It's just not everything 0:10:43.120 --> 0:10:45.760 that you would think. So I'm not complaining. I'm just explaining. 0:10:45.840 --> 0:10:48.840 So this weekend at a roller rink, I did a 0:10:48.880 --> 0:10:51.839 post that said if a launch is hard, then this 0:10:51.920 --> 0:10:53.920 is a diamond, meaning this is a very hard launch. 0:10:54.000 --> 0:10:55.800 And I was happy I did it and it was fun. 0:10:55.800 --> 0:10:58.440 It was just us skating, and I don't want to, 0:10:58.480 --> 0:11:00.200 you know, get into too much detail, and I really 0:11:00.240 --> 0:11:02.480 don't want to share it too much. It is personal. 0:11:03.000 --> 0:11:04.880 I don't want to get go down that rabbit hole. 0:11:04.920 --> 0:11:06.440 But I just want to say that I'm in a 0:11:06.480 --> 0:11:12.280 good place. I am happy. I'm at peace and very intentional, 0:11:13.440 --> 0:11:17.800 meaning I'm not settling. I'm completely choosing different things than 0:11:17.840 --> 0:11:20.560 I ever did before. I've done the same thing over 0:11:20.600 --> 0:11:23.959 and over. My friend Louis says to me, bethany rock 0:11:24.040 --> 0:11:26.480 stars need rock stars. He's like, you've gone out with 0:11:26.480 --> 0:11:28.680 the same guy over and over. This was months ago, 0:11:29.080 --> 0:11:30.640 and I want to see you with a rock star. 0:11:31.440 --> 0:11:31.760 And so. 0:11:33.320 --> 0:11:35.320 That's all I'll say about that right now. But I 0:11:35.360 --> 0:11:38.599 just wanted to give you some context. I had the 0:11:38.640 --> 0:11:43.680 best weekend ever. It was my daughter's sixteenth birthday, sweet sixteen. 0:11:43.840 --> 0:11:46.120 She's in the middle of finals. It's different than when 0:11:46.160 --> 0:11:49.080 we were younger. They have two weeks off because they 0:11:49.200 --> 0:11:52.320 have a five hour final, like they are studying. I mean, 0:11:52.360 --> 0:11:54.520 her college will be so easy. And she has a 0:11:54.559 --> 0:11:56.760 discipline that I never had. I mean, when I tell 0:11:56.800 --> 0:11:58.280 you this kid, I don't tell her to do one 0:11:58.280 --> 0:12:00.319 bit of homework. If she said, mom, let's go to 0:12:00.360 --> 0:12:02.240 Italy for three days and get past that, I would 0:12:02.240 --> 0:12:04.000 take a rite. I would get on a plane today. Okay, 0:12:04.040 --> 0:12:07.359 I am the worst influence. Like she is self motivated. 0:12:07.720 --> 0:12:09.800 She sits for hours. She won't go out to dinner 0:12:09.840 --> 0:12:12.240 on the weekends. She wouldn't even celebrate her own birthday 0:12:12.280 --> 0:12:15.720 except for one dinner with me and a friend of 0:12:15.720 --> 0:12:18.440 hers came over late night to exchange presents. She'll have 0:12:18.440 --> 0:12:22.120 a party next week. But she is so disciplined. She 0:12:22.280 --> 0:12:26.240 is so incredibly disciplined, and her birthday was just lovely. 0:12:26.280 --> 0:12:27.880 It was just the two of us, And you really 0:12:27.880 --> 0:12:29.840 do have to take that time without the phone, sit 0:12:29.920 --> 0:12:32.240 down and like your kid will tell you about their friends, 0:12:32.280 --> 0:12:35.800 their boyfriends, their life. Like it's just the quality versus 0:12:35.800 --> 0:12:38.120 the quantity is so important. My kid has been home 0:12:38.640 --> 0:12:42.120 for a week, and I have been traveling more than usual, 0:12:42.160 --> 0:12:43.920 and I will be traveling more than usual. I have 0:12:43.960 --> 0:12:45.800 to go to New York for something for Sports Illustrated. 0:12:46.160 --> 0:12:48.480 I come back and then I'm going to another country 0:12:48.480 --> 0:12:52.240 for some stem cell thing. And I've been dating, and 0:12:52.320 --> 0:12:55.280 so it's been different. But when I'm here and like 0:12:55.320 --> 0:12:57.160 we just have like a meal or like go get 0:12:57.200 --> 0:13:00.000 frozen yogurt, it just feels so meaningful. I love this time. 0:13:00.040 --> 0:13:02.680 I love this relationship. I love that my daughter's birthday 0:13:02.720 --> 0:13:05.040 is on the same weekend as Mother's Day because my 0:13:05.160 --> 0:13:08.319 daughter broke the chain for me, the generational trauma. 0:13:08.000 --> 0:13:10.280 All of it, and then my Mother's Day. 0:13:11.360 --> 0:13:13.560 I treat it the way that I like my birthday 0:13:13.600 --> 0:13:16.320 to go, but it lands better with Mother's Day. Being 0:13:16.320 --> 0:13:18.280 in Florida has been great for me. I woke up 0:13:18.320 --> 0:13:20.480 with the man I'm seeing. We took a nice beach walk. 0:13:20.480 --> 0:13:22.600 We swam in the ocean a bunch. We're both very 0:13:22.640 --> 0:13:24.840 aligned and compatible with the things that we like to do, 0:13:25.280 --> 0:13:27.240 and we just swam on the ocean a ton. Taking 0:13:27.280 --> 0:13:29.840 my beach walk is healing for me. And then we 0:13:29.960 --> 0:13:32.120 all went to brunch with my daughter at this place 0:13:32.120 --> 0:13:35.600 that's like casual but special. So it's excellent food, but 0:13:35.640 --> 0:13:37.880 like you're wearing casual clothing, you know. I was wearing 0:13:38.040 --> 0:13:39.920 a cute cover up and bathing suits. We were going 0:13:39.960 --> 0:13:42.079 to the beach. I was wearing a hat. Like I 0:13:42.240 --> 0:13:44.400 liked that we were going somewhere to celebrate it. But 0:13:44.440 --> 0:13:46.960 it wasn't all stuffy, you know. It wasn't all stuffy, 0:13:47.000 --> 0:13:48.680 And just like let's go in the car to go 0:13:48.720 --> 0:13:50.679 to a Broadway show, to go to a meal, to 0:13:50.720 --> 0:13:52.360 sit at a restaurant. It was like, let's go to 0:13:52.400 --> 0:13:55.960 this cute casual place. Then Brent was driven home by 0:13:56.640 --> 0:13:59.000 my friend and she came home to study, and then 0:13:59.040 --> 0:14:01.560 I stayed at the beach club all day with this 0:14:01.679 --> 0:14:05.400 man and we were playing backgammon and swimming and I 0:14:05.440 --> 0:14:08.240 was just listening to music and just laughing. Then we 0:14:08.280 --> 0:14:10.920 came home and he made us dinner, like the most 0:14:11.080 --> 0:14:13.880 amazing dinner. I can tell you that I've never had 0:14:13.920 --> 0:14:16.840 a man cook me dinner before. Never, And I'm not 0:14:16.840 --> 0:14:18.599 gonna blame all men for that. I'm gonna say I 0:14:18.679 --> 0:14:20.560 partially because probably like I didn't want them to, I 0:14:20.560 --> 0:14:21.320 didn't trust them too. 0:14:21.680 --> 0:14:22.120 I don't know. 0:14:22.200 --> 0:14:25.160 This man gave me such thoughtful gifts and cooked such 0:14:25.200 --> 0:14:27.640 a spectacular dinner that I was in shock, and so 0:14:27.840 --> 0:14:29.560 was Brent, because I was worried that it would be 0:14:29.560 --> 0:14:30.920 like Brin wouldn't love it, and she'd be like, oh, 0:14:31.000 --> 0:14:32.560 then she wouldn't eat it, and then this feelings about 0:14:32.640 --> 0:14:34.560 would be hurt. I don't know, I don't know what 0:14:34.640 --> 0:14:37.080 the hell. I didn't even know this person could cook 0:14:37.160 --> 0:14:39.000 or do half the things that they can do because 0:14:39.000 --> 0:14:43.760 they're so humble. This meal was like it was insane, 0:14:44.560 --> 0:14:45.720 Like I'm still shocked. 0:14:46.440 --> 0:14:47.080 And then like. 0:14:47.080 --> 0:14:49.640 Watched a little bit of sports with them, watched a movie, 0:14:50.240 --> 0:14:52.280 had some ice cream, went to yogurt with Brynn. 0:14:52.600 --> 0:14:54.160 She was studying like it was just a. 0:14:54.200 --> 0:14:57.520 Lovely, beautiful week and the dog slept in the bed 0:14:57.760 --> 0:15:00.160 as they do. But like, what a beautiful mother's day, 0:15:00.160 --> 0:15:03.120 What a beautiful mother's day, birthday the weekend, I'm rested. 0:15:03.200 --> 0:15:05.560 I also want to let you know I haven't been 0:15:05.680 --> 0:15:08.560 drinking for like a week. The carbone f one weekend 0:15:09.280 --> 0:15:12.360 literally took me out. It was just too much activation, 0:15:13.080 --> 0:15:18.040 too much transacting, too much, too much, consuming, too much food, 0:15:18.080 --> 0:15:21.560 too much talking. I get overloaded, I get activated, I 0:15:21.560 --> 0:15:24.440 get overstimulated, and I just took it down because I 0:15:24.440 --> 0:15:27.600 want to be healthy for this next little supermodel era 0:15:27.680 --> 0:15:30.920 I've got going. And I have to say, in many 0:15:30.960 --> 0:15:33.320 cases I've thought it was boring and I didn't notice 0:15:33.320 --> 0:15:37.880 a difference. Not drinking is affecting the quality of my sleep. 0:15:37.920 --> 0:15:39.440 I mean, I know you guys know this, but like 0:15:39.920 --> 0:15:41.040 that is something to think about. 0:15:41.120 --> 0:15:42.520 I have the or ring. 0:15:43.000 --> 0:15:45.280 Even though I think I sleep a lot, I still 0:15:45.280 --> 0:15:47.880 only get between five and last night was a record 0:15:48.000 --> 0:15:51.960 six hours a night. It's insane, Like I sleep six 0:15:52.000 --> 0:15:53.640 hours and I feel like I slept twelve. I would 0:15:53.640 --> 0:15:56.040 have guessed twelve because I went about at eleven thirty. 0:15:56.080 --> 0:15:58.160 I woke up at seven something and I thought it's 0:15:58.160 --> 0:15:59.680 eight hours, like I just would have always been like 0:15:59.720 --> 0:16:02.200 I got eight hours of sleep, but somehow like it 0:16:02.240 --> 0:16:02.960 wasn't real sleep. 0:16:02.960 --> 0:16:05.320 I wasn't sleeping like the or ring says six hours. 0:16:05.400 --> 0:16:08.360 I don't know, but I know that I'm sleeping better 0:16:08.400 --> 0:16:10.320 and it feels cleaner, and it's not as I'm not 0:16:10.440 --> 0:16:12.960 sweating as much, and it's not like it just you 0:16:13.040 --> 0:16:15.880 feel better, you just feel cleaner. This time, I really 0:16:15.920 --> 0:16:31.120 notice it. Last night I had a bunch of wine 0:16:31.360 --> 0:16:33.880 and I'm been going out and I've been dancing. But 0:16:34.040 --> 0:16:37.800 like the balance of being happy is I'm so happy, 0:16:37.840 --> 0:16:41.320 I'm having so much fun and I'm not sleeping enough, 0:16:41.440 --> 0:16:44.400 and like I'm aware of that, but I really do 0:16:44.440 --> 0:16:47.960 struggle with like the balance between like happiness and being RESTful. 0:16:48.000 --> 0:16:50.040 Like I didn't drink for a year and a half 0:16:50.080 --> 0:16:51.200 and I was kind of like bored. 0:16:51.240 --> 0:16:52.920 I was in Greenwich. I was sort of depressed. 0:16:53.000 --> 0:16:56.200 I so like that can't be better for me than 0:16:56.360 --> 0:17:01.560 like dancing, having sex, like party, having fun, being social, 0:17:01.560 --> 0:17:05.000 getting dressed up, being cute. Like I don't know, happy 0:17:05.040 --> 0:17:06.960 has to win, right, all those people that live to 0:17:07.000 --> 0:17:08.400 like a hundred, they're like happy. 0:17:09.000 --> 0:17:09.480 I don't know that. 0:17:09.520 --> 0:17:12.679 They're like I sat and was vegan and drank fucking 0:17:12.760 --> 0:17:13.520 water for a year. 0:17:13.560 --> 0:17:14.000 I don't know. 0:17:14.760 --> 0:17:17.080 I don't know, but I am in a good place. 0:17:18.000 --> 0:17:22.320 I am in a good place. And I struggle with 0:17:22.440 --> 0:17:26.679 what to share with you in my personal romantic life 0:17:26.720 --> 0:17:30.720 because I get excited and I want to tell you 0:17:30.760 --> 0:17:33.320 what's going on, but I also want to preserve my 0:17:33.400 --> 0:17:38.240 privacy and other people's privacy because we've seen it go sideways. 0:17:38.280 --> 0:17:43.480 So let's just say I'm very happy, and that I've 0:17:43.480 --> 0:17:47.359 told myself I wouldn't fully commit to anyone unless I 0:17:47.400 --> 0:17:49.959 was going to marry them. Like I've told myself that 0:17:50.080 --> 0:17:51.800 I took like a year off. It was a little 0:17:51.840 --> 0:17:55.360 less than a year from dating. And in starting the CORE, 0:17:56.200 --> 0:18:00.560 I practice what I tell everyone else to docticing when 0:18:00.560 --> 0:18:07.199 I'm preaching and sticking to intention, Like it's actually helped me. So, 0:18:07.600 --> 0:18:10.040 for example, there are people in the CORE and like 0:18:10.560 --> 0:18:12.919 we're saying there's no bread crumbing, and we're saying you 0:18:12.920 --> 0:18:14.639 can't just like be a pen pal. We're saying you 0:18:14.680 --> 0:18:16.960 can't be duplicitous and have two things going on we're 0:18:16.960 --> 0:18:18.600 saying you have to be intentional, you have to like 0:18:19.160 --> 0:18:22.480 want it, work for it, et cetera. And so in 0:18:22.560 --> 0:18:25.399 my dating, whether meeting someone through the core or not, 0:18:26.119 --> 0:18:30.119 I have really really adhered to that. So there's a moment. 0:18:30.160 --> 0:18:33.320 And by the way, all the rules are kind of bullshit, 0:18:33.400 --> 0:18:36.680 Like the more you think something through, it's kind of bullshit. 0:18:36.960 --> 0:18:39.359 Most of you who are in relationships realize that, like 0:18:39.600 --> 0:18:41.960 when things have happened, they probably weren't supposed to happen. 0:18:42.000 --> 0:18:46.040 I mean, there's a person who I was serious about 0:18:46.080 --> 0:18:48.639