Speaker 1: Welcome to I Do Part two, the podcast that's all
Speaker 1: about finding love the second time around. Here we are
Speaker 1: Thelma and Louise, still single, still trying to do our best,
Speaker 1: and we are luckily in Pebble Beach at the pro
Speaker 1: am with three amazingly hot, age appropriate guys also from
Speaker 1: The Bachelor. So welcome. We have Chalk, Gary and Guy,
Speaker 1: and it's Thelma and Louise. And as much as we
Speaker 1: would love to grill you all day long about The Bachelor,
Speaker 1: we are actually here to talk to the three of
Speaker 1: you about Chapter two, dating post the TV show, what
Speaker 1: it was like pre and just kind of get into
Speaker 1: the minds of you three amazing.
Speaker 2: I'm going to make a slight correction, not the Bachelor,
Speaker 2: the Golden.
Speaker 3: Oh oh sorry, you just look so young.
Speaker 2: We are. We are the Golden Bachelor's Golden Bachelors.
Speaker 4: From the Golden Batte.
Speaker 1: But because we're also in your age range, we just
Speaker 1: look at you.
Speaker 4: I'll take that. I think.
Speaker 2: Dating, Yeah, let me slide closer to the guy over here.
Speaker 5: My dating life's been great after the show, different days,
Speaker 5: I met all kinds of women, a lot of trouble.
Speaker 1: But how your dating life change post the show? Like,
Speaker 1: what was that. I'd love to know the dating kind
Speaker 1: of pre the show.
Speaker 4: Pre the show, you know, I I dated differently. I
Speaker 4: dated locally in the Reno area. But then I decided to,
Speaker 4: like a lot of us at this age, I delved
Speaker 4: into the dating apps.
Speaker 3: Oh so fun.
Speaker 1: It's crazy to tell them our dating app situation.
Speaker 4: Interestingly enough, I would actually say, you know, I met
Speaker 4: a lot of very very nice, fun, intelligent, you know
Speaker 4: women on the dating apps, oftentimes from me, though they
Speaker 4: were you know, yeah, I had travel, you know, to
Speaker 4: to be able to actually see them in person because
Speaker 4: they don't don't necessarily live in the Reno Tahoe area.
Speaker 5: Can I ask a question real quick though, percentage wise?
Speaker 5: How many of their pictures look like them?
Speaker 3: That's my question, and then we'll give you.
Speaker 1: I also want to know your age range too, because
Speaker 1: that's the whole thing we experience in la Is. Guys
Speaker 1: want to date.
Speaker 6: Way younger or they put you know, their age, They
Speaker 6: put their ages sixty and then in their comments they
Speaker 6: say my age is actually seventy two, and I'm like,
Speaker 6: that didn't make sense.
Speaker 3: There's a lot of attack.
Speaker 5: Let's jump to this because I told you I'll ask anything. Okay,
Speaker 5: So women do that all the time and they go, well,
Speaker 5: guys want younger women. So we'll start with you. Is
Speaker 5: it Thelma or Luise?
Speaker 4: Theoma?
Speaker 5: Louise, I'm Thema. What's catuemb the youngest guy?
Speaker 7: Well, I'm not gonna lie post divorce and my divorce
Speaker 7: was a bit unique. My recipe for kind of moving
Speaker 7: on was a little different.
Speaker 3: And so I got divorced. At how old was I?
Speaker 1: It was twenty fourteen for both of us, and we're
Speaker 1: so you were forty one forty.
Speaker 3: One, so I probably like, I mean twenty five, but
Speaker 3: like I telling you, it was, it was. It was one.
Speaker 3: It was it was literally like two.
Speaker 7: Or three for six months, and then it was like, okay,
Speaker 7: many we have nothing in common.
Speaker 3: They'd just gotten their first credit.
Speaker 5: Card and like we get n I do think part
Speaker 5: of the journey in life too, is you need to
Speaker 5: do that to see if that's what you want.
Speaker 3: Oh I didn't want it.
Speaker 7: I just needed to like heal and that was like
Speaker 7: my process and then and then I was like I'm
Speaker 7: ready for people that I can actually relate to.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and you.
Speaker 1: So when I first got divorced, I was on a
Speaker 1: girl's trip to New York, and my friends were like,
Speaker 1: we're going to do something different for you, and so
Speaker 1: there poured me out there and they found some young,
Speaker 1: hot guy and you basically sent him home with I
Speaker 1: don't even know if there was uber than ten years
Speaker 1: about ten years ago and it was literally one and done,
Speaker 1: and I was like, this is just not my jam,
Speaker 1: Like I prefer age appropriate. Definitely, a lot of my
Speaker 1: friends in LA date younger guys and they have to
Speaker 1: pay for them, and it's all I don't even know.
Speaker 7: Also, this could be a misconception, but I feel like,
Speaker 7: as a woman, I don't want to date somebody too
Speaker 7: young because I don't want to feel old. And I
Speaker 7: think a misconception that I have is do men want
Speaker 7: to date younger women because then it makes them feel
Speaker 7: kind of either young or it's a trophy.
Speaker 2: And yeah, and so for me dating someone younger, I
Speaker 2: would not go below ten years below my age. I
Speaker 2: want someone that's refreshing.
Speaker 1: In Los Angeles, ye age appropriate for.
Speaker 2: Me because coming up through the ranks like we do,
Speaker 2: we look they are still finding their way and I'm
Speaker 2: at a point in my life now where I don't
Speaker 2: want to help you find in your way. I don't
Speaker 2: have time because it's just not worth it and it's
Speaker 2: very expensive. As you can imagine dating someone younger who's
Speaker 2: expecting an older guy to step in and be like
Speaker 2: this totally. So it's ten years for me, I will
Speaker 2: go fifty.
Speaker 4: Five, but not below that.
Speaker 5: He's sixty five, doesn't he look good for me? Amazing?
Speaker 3: Golden, amazing? Okay? Yeah, you what about you guy? What
Speaker 3: what's your age?
Speaker 7: Like?
Speaker 4: Yeah, let's take kind of too criteria with that, and
Speaker 4: I would, you know, be in the same lines as
Speaker 4: Gary here somewhere around ten years. But you know, I
Speaker 4: don't put in an absolute age because I mean if they
Speaker 4: were fifty three and you know there was a connection, yea,
Speaker 4: I would go down. In other words, no, no, you know, no,
Speaker 4: you know, you know it would be flattering. But the
Speaker 4: reality is that you alluded to you just don't have
Speaker 4: many things in common. I always like to say that
Speaker 4: if I have to explain to him who led Zeppelins,
Speaker 4: we got a problem.
Speaker 7: Well. And also, I mean it's not pretty to talk about,
Speaker 7: but what about the health.
Speaker 3: I mean, let's be honest.
Speaker 4: Well, and that's the other is that, you know, especially
Speaker 4: if somebody is younger and they actually would be interested
Speaker 4: in going out with you to say, you know, I'm
Speaker 4: sixty six, you know, and let's say you're forty six. Well,
Speaker 4: when you're my age, I'm going to be eighty six
Speaker 4: years old. Do you really want that?
Speaker 5: Women?
Speaker 4: Women a much better than than men do.
Speaker 1: So you three of aged really well.
Speaker 4: I do have a story for you. That's that's a
Speaker 4: that's comforting.
Speaker 5: You know the date that Joan and I had at Disneyland,
Speaker 5: the first one on one date. The execs give you
Speaker 5: a whole and I came back and I said, guys,
Speaker 5: I'm going to start.
Speaker 1: Giving this story. No, we saw it on the show,
Speaker 1: but what.
Speaker 5: You didn't see here is I said, Okay, I'm going
Speaker 5: to give this prize to which one of you bachelor
Speaker 5: guys bachelorette guys has been with the youngest woman. And
Speaker 5: I will not tell you because it's guycode, but it
Speaker 5: would absolutely surprise the fans who'd been with the youngest woman.
Speaker 3: Oh you have you have to say, gee, I love guy.
Speaker 4: Not this guy.
Speaker 3: So you're the guy, you know.
Speaker 4: Because you said guy and I'm thinking it was not guys.
Speaker 4: Brother of advanced.
Speaker 5: They could sit there and think about that, but it
Speaker 5: was somebody you would least expect.
Speaker 3: I love guy.
Speaker 5: Remember who it was?
Speaker 4: Yes?
Speaker 1: Yeah, By the way, the whole frat aspect. Can you
Speaker 1: imagine going back in time after like living the lives
Speaker 1: you live and then literally going back into a frat
Speaker 1: house mentality? How much fun to do that for another
Speaker 1: kind of sliver?
Speaker 4: Well, ironically we were roommates.
Speaker 7: No, my gosh, no one of you guys are sitting
Speaker 7: so cozily on that couch together.
Speaker 2: If it were any of us, we'd be the same
Speaker 2: way for the for the whole crew.
Speaker 4: We had a lot of late conversation. Yeah, it was great.
Speaker 1: Did you two do apps? Also?
Speaker 2: No, I did an app like twenty thirty years ago,
Speaker 2: not thirty.
Speaker 4: Oh my god, I'm really sure my age.
Speaker 2: Uh, it was like around the early two thousands, and
Speaker 2: I had some pretty good luck with that because it
Speaker 2: was like the third time in that was someone that
Speaker 2: I ended up being with for like eight.
Speaker 4: To ten years. Wow, So it.
Speaker 2: Worked out in my favor. But now I don't that's
Speaker 2: that's not my choice of.
Speaker 1: So do you find it easy to meet women in
Speaker 1: kind of real life? I mean, I assume after the
Speaker 1: show it's probably also easier.
Speaker 7: Well, I mean, has your approached I guess you had
Speaker 7: your kind of pre the show and then post show.
Speaker 7: Do you feel like your approach to dating is different
Speaker 7: as a result of the show and kind of what
Speaker 7: is that now?
Speaker 4: These guys are getting a lot of action.
Speaker 5: I mean, the women are coming out of it's as guys.
Speaker 2: It's very flattering, it's very flattering. But I've become more selective.
Speaker 2: I become more confident in my own skin, saying I
Speaker 2: don't want, I don't need, I'm not looking, and so
Speaker 2: you know these's that's just not.
Speaker 4: Going to work.
Speaker 3: So you're discerning, Yeah, very much.
Speaker 4: So very much.
Speaker 2: So how about you guys regarding you know what?
Speaker 4: I yeah, you know, it has been interesting phenomenon since,
Speaker 4: you know, after the show, because you know, I didn't
Speaker 4: realize it would I would be recognized as much as
Speaker 4: I am, even you know, if you go to Vegas.
Speaker 4: I'm just was kind of just blown away, like how
Speaker 4: many people stop me. Didn't realize how popular the show
Speaker 4: was and how many people really tune in. And they
Speaker 4: they really you know, different different guys. They resonated with
Speaker 4: their character, not the characters, but their personality.
Speaker 1: But that is such a universal theme, right, so it
Speaker 1: just appeals to so many everybody.
Speaker 4: Basically it is. And so yeah, I mean, you know people,
Speaker 4: you know, I have been approached you know, more than once,
Speaker 4: less than a thousand times. I don't know, somewhere around there.
Speaker 4: But it's you know a lot of times. You know,
Speaker 4: you have to be very careful, especially if they slide
Speaker 4: into your DM because everybody, yeah, they maybe they want
Speaker 4: you know, just there five minutes of fame or whatever.
Speaker 4: It is like that.
Speaker 3: Okay, So what's the best story you've had thus far?
Speaker 4: He does have a good one.
Speaker 2: He's got at least one good Come.
Speaker 3: On, you've been on national television.
Speaker 4: You got to tell us, yes, yeah, yes I did.
Speaker 4: I did meet somebody who you know, just kind of
Speaker 4: reached out. And oftentimes you get these messages and it's
Speaker 4: almost like fan mail. They just are there and they're
Speaker 4: so supportive. I've not received one negative message from anyone.
Speaker 4: It's it's it's overwhelming. Actually, the number of very positive comments.
Speaker 3: Are they writing from prison?
Speaker 7: You know?
Speaker 4: I don't know that. Yeah, oh my god, but I
Speaker 4: can tell you I'll finish going going back. You know, Yes,
Speaker 4: I have been catfished.
Speaker 1: Have you several times interesting. So have you guys dated
Speaker 1: kind of anyone specific since the show? Like, have you
Speaker 1: formed a connection with anybody?
Speaker 4: Can I go back?
Speaker 5: One thing I do want to say about dating younger.
Speaker 5: I have a twenty five year old daughter and she
Speaker 5: and I are very close, and she goes, Dad, if
Speaker 5: you ever date anyone close to my age, I'm bringing
Speaker 5: a sixty five year old man home.
Speaker 1: So it's my kids have a strong opinion too, they
Speaker 1: said to me. They came on from college and they said, Mom,
Speaker 1: we're getting very concerned about your options. I was like,
Speaker 1: what do you mean. They go, it just seems like
Speaker 1: it's like the twenty five year old or you know,
Speaker 1: the eighty year old, and I was like, wow, that
Speaker 1: sounds pretty grim. Do you have a preference, they said
Speaker 1: the older guy. I said, okay, good to know that's awesome.
Speaker 7: But I think ten years is good. I like your
Speaker 7: ten years, so that's kind of mine as well. I
Speaker 7: think ten years because ten years can be physical, but
Speaker 7: it also like people can be really an old or
Speaker 7: a young But I think using ten years is kind
Speaker 7: of the rain good benchmin.
Speaker 5: I just think if you're in love, let it have Oh,
Speaker 5: says the guy I worked out for Jones nine muths
Speaker 5: older than I am.
Speaker 1: I mean, do you believe an instant connection or do
Speaker 1: you guys believe more in a slow burn in terms
Speaker 1: of the longevity or the health of a relationship.
Speaker 5: Personally speaking, my relationships, the serious ones had been really
Speaker 5: first impression really where you just go like butterfly. But
Speaker 5: there's been a lot that, you know, you go hey,
Speaker 5: I kind of like them when it fizzled out. But
Speaker 5: with Joan, I can't speak for her that it was
Speaker 5: pretty much instant.
Speaker 1: And what about the concept of like when you feel
Speaker 1: a spark, it's almost like a warning signal or like
Speaker 1: a mirror of your childhood one.
Speaker 3: That's you, that's I don't feel that way really yeah, Or.
Speaker 5: You just have bad decisions. I mean, you know you
Speaker 5: like a bad type of person. And I shouldn't say bad,
Speaker 5: but I've said this on other podcasts. My mother had
Speaker 5: this big thing going. If that significant other than your
Speaker 5: person in your life doesn't make your life better, it's
Speaker 5: the wrong person. And it's pretty simple. They need to
Speaker 5: make your life better. Not that they're all about you,
Speaker 5: but your life is better because they're in your life.
Speaker 4: I agree with that.
Speaker 1: They also need to elevate you, Like we're really big
Speaker 1: on people.
Speaker 2: That fell instant connection thing is is really important because
Speaker 2: I think that there is an attraction that you have
Speaker 2: to have for them physically and you're feeling something emotionally
Speaker 2: and the adrenaline that comes from that you say, this
Speaker 2: is someone I want to spend some time with so
Speaker 2: ultimately yeah, and get to know. So from that perspective,
Speaker 2: I think it is important to have that initial attraction
Speaker 2: of Wow, this I'm feeling something right now. It's like
Speaker 2: an energy yes, totally, totally.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you know for me it's it's I would say
Speaker 4: that immediate. I would say that when I've had, you know,
Speaker 4: the really intense relationships, I know, within days.
Speaker 3: Okay, so how do you follow up?
Speaker 7: So you have you meet somebody you have this instant
Speaker 7: connection and chemistry, and I guess it's kind of interesting
Speaker 7: talking to you right now because you guys are both
Speaker 7: being sought after by many, right, so it might not
Speaker 7: be we haven't based i mean leveled out right, Not
Speaker 7: that you're ever going to level out.
Speaker 3: I'm sure it's just going to have the pick of
Speaker 3: the litter rocket. You have the pick of the letter
Speaker 3: right now. But at your age and our age.
Speaker 7: When you meet somebody and you like them right away,
Speaker 7: like do you come on strong?
Speaker 3: Do you play games? Do you you know what I mean?
Speaker 7: Way to customary three days before texting them, Like what's
Speaker 7: your approach?
Speaker 2: I think it's more natural where if I'm feeling the
Speaker 2: need to text or call and vice versas, so it's
Speaker 2: a two way street. And if I'm getting the age, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: the games as I mean, you're done.
Speaker 3: Nobody likes somebody who smiles you. I mean, let's just
Speaker 3: be honest.
Speaker 4: To right totally.
Speaker 5: Yeah, some people do and they want somebody. I know.
Speaker 5: I've got people in my life that they're my mother
Speaker 5: or husband. They took a trip for eighteen months. They
Speaker 5: were together every day.
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, it's amazing.
Speaker 5: And their lives were just built around each other. But
Speaker 5: I think that's the exception or other people like Jonah
Speaker 5: and I we kind of like those three or four
Speaker 5: days where were we have a do our laundry. To
Speaker 5: not have that pressure when you get older, it's just
Speaker 5: I can do the things I need to.
Speaker 1: And we talk about that a lot, like not needing
Speaker 1: the twenty four to seven yeah, kind of day to day.
Speaker 7: But I think It's also different because if you have
Speaker 7: been single for a while or divorced or you know,
Speaker 7: on your own, you get used to your autonomy and
Speaker 7: your independence and then you want somebody. But it's like,
Speaker 7: how do you incorporate a significant other into your life?
Speaker 7: And I always have the question for people, like do
Speaker 7: you see it as a traditional relationship there? You want
Speaker 7: to be with somebody you know, live under the same roof,
Speaker 7: be with each other all the time, versus distance, versus
Speaker 7: a companion that you you know, kind of have your
Speaker 7: cake and eat it too. And I don't mean that
Speaker 7: in any salacious way. I just mean, like, what do
Speaker 7: you think on that?
Speaker 5: I think that's why you date. You spend time with people. Yeah,
Speaker 5: you know, it comes back to the smother and some
Speaker 5: people want contact all the time. Other people don't, and
Speaker 5: you spend that time with them. You go, this is
Speaker 5: what I'm comfortable, this is what I like in my life.
Speaker 5: And you could love somebody, but it's just the little
Speaker 5: things could push you apart.
Speaker 4: Yeah, totally, you know.
Speaker 2: As and as Chuck mentioned earlier about his mom and
Speaker 2: her husband at eighteen monthly, I think it's generationally that
Speaker 2: age group was more connected. Our age group is more
Speaker 2: I need a couple days every so often too recalibrate.
Speaker 7: To recalibrate, the younger group is like, we're going to
Speaker 7: text from a different building.
Speaker 2: I'm learning the game, so I'm going to play the game.
Speaker 2: I'm not going to reach out for three days. I'm
Speaker 2: not I can't call them within a certain period of time.
Speaker 2: So I think generationally it makes a difference at our age, right,
Speaker 2: that's a good point totally.
Speaker 1: I just think also at our age, like in terms
Speaker 1: of the spirit of no games, like what happens when
Speaker 1: you go out with somebody or on a date and
Speaker 1: you just to your point, you don't feel it right away?
Speaker 1: How do you kind of directly say, like I didn't
Speaker 1: feel a love connection or I mean, you're not gonna
Speaker 1: we're not going to got somebody at our age right
Speaker 1: direct please.
Speaker 4: I'll the last. I'll the last. You know, if I
Speaker 4: meet somebody and I'm not, you know, feeling the connection
Speaker 4: right away, I don't prolong it at all. I think
Speaker 4: it's a disservice to the other person too, you know,
Speaker 4: if they're developing emotional attachment to you and you're not
Speaker 4: to them. So I usually just say, you know, gosh.
Speaker 4: And most time they're really nice, you know, wonderful people,
Speaker 4: but you're just not feeling it. So I just you know,
Speaker 4: politely say, you know, I'm just exactly that you.
Speaker 3: Do it face to face.
Speaker 4: At this point.
Speaker 1: Not after one or two dates though, No, But I mean, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm saying one or two dates and to their.
Speaker 4: Face, I well, at least still on a telephone conversation,
Speaker 4: if not in their face.
Speaker 3: No, I'm not like, is it at the restaurant where
Speaker 3: you're like, you.
Speaker 4: Know, oh no, no, no, no, because you want to like,
Speaker 4: you know, kind of everything you know, think about. It's
Speaker 4: just but oftentimes I know, within.
Speaker 1: Fifteen minutes and you can kind of read the root.
Speaker 1: I mean think I've been on dates where I can
Speaker 1: tell maybe they're not into me or I'm not in
Speaker 1: I mean, we all can kind of pick up on
Speaker 1: the cues now, right, Yeah.
Speaker 5: So I think it's it's a lot of respect for
Speaker 5: the other person too, though, because I don't think you
Speaker 5: have a right to sit there and go I don't
Speaker 5: like you because of.
Speaker 3: This, right.
Speaker 5: Oh, And it's you know, sometimes you can ghost them sometimes,
Speaker 5: you know, and if you get ghosted, there's no interest.
Speaker 3: But I think treat people you want to treat it.
Speaker 3: I mean, I know it's a simple role.
Speaker 5: But then I think it comes back to what obligation
Speaker 5: do you have you go out with somebody for a
Speaker 5: date or two? Are you obligated to say I don't.
Speaker 4: Really like you? Okay?
Speaker 3: But see here's my problem. We kind of differ on this.
Speaker 7: I we both believe the chivalry is not dead, so
Speaker 7: we love like a true gentleman open your door.
Speaker 1: I mean, that's a garage.
Speaker 3: We really like that.
Speaker 7: But I feel a little uncomfortable because of course I'm
Speaker 7: flattered and appreciate when people buy me dinner, but then
Speaker 7: I kind of feel this obligation sometimes where I'm like, oh,
Speaker 7: like I can't leave the table.
Speaker 3: Even if I'm not interested because he just bought me dinner.
Speaker 3: And that's rude. And you know, I mean, I don't know,
Speaker 3: it's just it gets complicated.
Speaker 5: That's just day why. I have a question for you too,
Speaker 5: So let's go talk about paying for dinner. What are
Speaker 5: your opinions on who should pay for dinner?
Speaker 1: There's some meditation here, No, there's not. I mean, look
Speaker 1: for me, it's like I'm raising two boys, and you know,
Speaker 1: this is something we talk about we believe in chivalry.
Speaker 1: We're in our fifties. I like when a man, you
Speaker 1: know in the beginning, has paid for my dinner. I'm
Speaker 1: happy to treat and do things and do special things,
Speaker 1: but I don't.
Speaker 3: I don't know. I believe in chivalry still.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm with you one hundred percent, and I'm raising.
Speaker 1: My boys and I'm raising my boys that way.
Speaker 4: Agree more. Yeah, totally, I would not. There's no way
Speaker 4: I would. For the first day, I would not pay
Speaker 4: for it.
Speaker 2: Well, I also think.
Speaker 7: If you so he's saying, if somebody asks me, if
Speaker 7: a man asks me out to dinner, you have invited
Speaker 7: me to dinner.
Speaker 3: So I would expect you to pay. But I will
Speaker 3: tell you I wouldn't expect.
Speaker 7: I would be appreciative if you paid, and I would
Speaker 7: always when the check came for me first dinner, would
Speaker 7: always say, oh, that's so nice.
Speaker 3: Are you sure? And I definitely like I would so
Speaker 3: that it's not a conclusion.
Speaker 7: And I mean, but I will tell you if you
Speaker 7: did take it and split it, it would just be
Speaker 7: a note to me like okay. Again, if we dated
Speaker 7: subsequent times, or if I said, hey, I'd like to
Speaker 7: take you, you know what I mean, for a hike
Speaker 7: and lunch or whatever. I feel like I invited him
Speaker 7: and I would pay. So it's but at the beginning, especially,
Speaker 7: I like when somebody.
Speaker 5: Kind of I want to speak for these three guys.
Speaker 5: Even if you offered to pay, we're going to pay.
Speaker 5: But after a number of days, it's kind of nice
Speaker 5: when I'll pick up one, right, I'll get.
Speaker 1: The valet or show up with like a candle or
Speaker 1: something like that. Like I went away. I was dating
Speaker 1: somebody and we went away for the weekend and I
Speaker 1: showed up with like, I don't know, like a cute
Speaker 1: viewery hoodie, and he was like so knocked out by it.
Speaker 1: He's like wow, And I was like, you're so generous
Speaker 1: with me. So there's different ways to show appreciation, but
Speaker 1: that thank you, because PEO will not say thank you.
Speaker 5: When they don't thank you, I remember that and then
Speaker 5: you go back to it they raise that way, or
Speaker 5: they just don't like you, or but you know, you
Speaker 5: psycho analyze everything on that.
Speaker 1: You guys, You like, what's a good day, what are
Speaker 1: we doing?
Speaker 3: What do you women?
Speaker 5: I'm on a roll here, but I got to ask
Speaker 5: a question back to Bezos fiance's dress at the inauguration.
Speaker 5: I want a woman to look good, joke always looks.
Speaker 3: Good, sophisticated, amazing, and I.
Speaker 5: Don't want to say Lauren Sanchez. But to me, that
Speaker 5: was inappropriate first day. If somebody dresses a little inappropriate,
Speaker 5: I'm out.
Speaker 3: Okay, so you're more sophisticated, not sexy.
Speaker 1: Class I don't mean classic, understated.
Speaker 2: Classic, classic, classy.
Speaker 3: You're not allowed to use the word classy.
Speaker 7: My mom said, if you you have to say a
Speaker 7: class act.
Speaker 3: You're not allowed you classy.
Speaker 2: Okay, class class and reason. Let these guys on.
Speaker 5: I was trained that a first date, a first interview,
Speaker 5: you're probably going to get the best out of the person,
Speaker 5: and if they're looking trappy or something like that, it's
Speaker 5: probably going to go downhill. We can argue that, but
Speaker 5: that's because when you have a date with a guy,
Speaker 5: if you have interest, you're putting your a game on.
Speaker 7: Okay, okay, we talk about outfits, So what I hear
Speaker 7: what you're saying, But outfits like do you like do
Speaker 7: you like.
Speaker 3: Do you like women to show up a little more
Speaker 3: dressy casual? Like what like?
Speaker 4: Well, we have ray vision, you don't have to put
Speaker 4: it out there. We can tell what you look like naked.
Speaker 7: Do you know that. I had a guy show up
Speaker 7: and I said, how do you decide between lunch and dinner?
Speaker 7: And he says, if I'm a little unsure about the pictures,
Speaker 7: I like lunch because it's during the day so I
Speaker 7: can really see her body when she's walking towards the tablets.
Speaker 2: I like, you know, I like the words you use
Speaker 2: class act. It depends where we're going, and we're going
Speaker 2: to go to the beach, to a restaurant, or if
Speaker 2: we're going to go in town, depending on the setting,
Speaker 2: which makes a big difference. Read them, but read the room,
Speaker 2: know the lay of the land, and just be class
Speaker 2: act about how you're representing yourself. Because it's saying something
Speaker 2: about you as a person. I'm already casting judgment and passing.
Speaker 4: You know.
Speaker 2: My opinions internally, like is this gonna work?
Speaker 4: Is this someone that.
Speaker 2: I could take to Yes, it's someone I can take
Speaker 2: to the baseball game. Is this someone I can bring
Speaker 2: home to the kids, or if there's a family event
Speaker 2: or if we're going to a picnic. How is is
Speaker 2: this person going to be in a in a mini
Speaker 2: skirt with you know, with with bo. Yeah, so yeah,
Speaker 2: it's it just depends. It just depends.
Speaker 4: Thoughts same and yeah, I'd like them to dresh appropriately
Speaker 4: for the occasion, and I'd like them to look very stylish.
Speaker 4: I want them to look attractive, you know, I want
Speaker 4: I don't have any trouble if you know, you know
Speaker 4: they turn people's heads when they want absolutely not because
Speaker 4: of something over.
Speaker 1: The you don't want to walk flower absolutely.
Speaker 4: Something to sometimes you know, like I have a date
Speaker 4: recently and I had a woman cup up and said,
Speaker 4: you are the luckiest guy in this in this restaurant
Speaker 4: right now because of the person I was with, and
Speaker 4: it's you know, I mean made me feel really really good,
Speaker 4: like I am lucky.
Speaker 3: Do you like one woman approach you?
Speaker 7: I mean, do you like women that are more shy
Speaker 7: and reserved and you make the first move or how
Speaker 7: do you feel when that's an interesting.
Speaker 2: Point you make because these days and at this time,
Speaker 2: it's a lot different when you yes, it's amazing. Well,
Speaker 2: one thing I was going to say that I'm going
Speaker 2: to piggyback on what guys said, is I love a
Speaker 2: woman who walks in the room and the furniture leads
Speaker 2: her way or the heads turned, everyone is like, and
Speaker 2: I get to sit there and say, she's with me.
Speaker 4: We really did get along.
Speaker 5: There was just different personality, different issues, but no fact,
Speaker 5: no fights, no cat fight or anything like that, and
Speaker 5: it was really great. We called it free group therapy
Speaker 5: just because you know, we've all had some happened in
Speaker 5: our lives and we sit down just as guys go, man,
Speaker 5: this happened to me and another guy. It wouldn't want
Speaker 5: up in you. It was just I've been through this.
Speaker 5: It was fantastic and with all.
Speaker 2: Due respect, we gave each guy the opportunity to finish
Speaker 2: their story because it was for me it was more
Speaker 2: of a spiritual journey and being comfortable in my own skin.
Speaker 2: But allowing these guys to get out their stories that
Speaker 2: we don't usually or often get to, who talk about
Speaker 2: what we have buried to allowed us to be the
Speaker 2: men that we are today.
Speaker 1: So it was really twofold. Like a lot of the
Speaker 1: show was the actual living in the house and creating
Speaker 1: these relationships and doing that, and then the other part
Speaker 1: of it was dating Joan finding love and doing that
Speaker 1: part as well. Absolutely really important.
Speaker 7: And that's interesting because I watched the show first, I said,
Speaker 7: as great as your love story was, and it was
Speaker 7: amazing and still is.
Speaker 3: I The takeaway for me was watching the camaraderie between
Speaker 3: all of you. It was touching.
Speaker 7: And to watch guys really let down their barriers and
Speaker 7: share things and their insecurities and their again their emotional
Speaker 7: baggage or you know, talking about families and everything. It
Speaker 7: was I mean, I'm getting chills as I say it.
Speaker 7: But I said to Nika, I said, that was the
Speaker 7: takeaway for me. And when people were crying when they
Speaker 7: were leaving the show, it wasn't. I mean, they loved
Speaker 7: Joan and it connected with Joan, but they were equally
Speaker 7: as sad to leave each other.
Speaker 3: I mean, you as we're sad that thing came to
Speaker 3: an end.
Speaker 4: Yeah. I referred to it as a retreat for sexagenarian man,
Speaker 4: and you know, it was very interesting and sure these
Speaker 4: guys will you know, attest to this is that you think,
Speaker 4: you know, you're sitting around the pool or you know,
Speaker 4: around the mansion that we would be talking about you know, football, baseball,
Speaker 4: those kind of things. We talked about our lives, we
Speaker 4: talked about our past history, we talked about things we've
Speaker 4: gone through and we've shared. We shared with that over
Speaker 4: and over again, and it was you know, you would
Speaker 4: do that on a one on one basis, you do
Speaker 4: it with one on you two other people and you
Speaker 4: just be having these incredible conversations.
Speaker 1: Is vulnerable moments.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and they allowed me to, you know, and that
Speaker 4: and I journaled the whole thing and you know, for
Speaker 4: that whole time, and it was and then I go
Speaker 4: back and look at that and the intense.
Speaker 2: I felt safe telling my story. I felt safe sharing my.
Speaker 4: Story with these guys.
Speaker 1: Have you any to be vulnerable friendships?
Speaker 5: Have kind of absolutely And guy and I talk a lot.
Speaker 5: I said, guide code, but it's really grown up cold
Speaker 5: code because we talked about stuff and they didn't show,
Speaker 5: you know, some of it was picked up on the cameras,
Speaker 5: but we talked about life change, the stuff from death
Speaker 5: to bad marriages. We did things right, we did things wrong.
Speaker 5: I've yet to see one guy betray the other one.
Speaker 1: Yeah. There's a lot of men's group in LA where
Speaker 1: we live. You know, I have a lot of friends
Speaker 1: who do it and it's kind of like a safe
Speaker 1: space and similar to almost what you guys experienced living.
Speaker 7: To the fact that you were all kind of caged
Speaker 7: animals and had a lot of time together or do
Speaker 7: you know, like.
Speaker 5: Go back to casting and luck, because I do think
Speaker 5: there was part of it going is this person sol good?
Speaker 5: And part of it will this journey be good for
Speaker 5: them as well? But again not one guy's betrayed another guy,
Speaker 5: and that's phenomenal because all the producers go, you wouldn't
Speaker 5: leave these young kids.
Speaker 4: They can't fight and everything.
Speaker 3: It's just we mature.
Speaker 7: I think it's just different and under like the unlike
Speaker 7: the younger version of the show, you know, the the regular,
Speaker 7: the twenty year old Bachelor's where it's competitive and cat
Speaker 7: fights and this, I mean you all were rooting for
Speaker 7: each other when you were going on the dates.
Speaker 2: I mean, I'd like to just slightly correct. We weren't caged.
Speaker 2: We were together like a fraternity. So there was this
Speaker 2: amazing journey initially of getting through the process and it
Speaker 2: became a point of I'm going to prove that my
Speaker 2: record is so clean that I'm able to go and
Speaker 2: do this. And then there was the night, the first
Speaker 2: night of the rose ceremony, and that was the initiation.
Speaker 2: And once that happened, we were like a fraternity.
Speaker 4: Would you agree with that.
Speaker 5: Yes, the thing the thing that I really liked, And
Speaker 5: there was a lot of fans going, you've got these
Speaker 5: mature guys and you're putting them in bunk beds and
Speaker 5: all that. It was fantastic. Yeah, and there wasn't really
Speaker 5: one of the It was a change for one person,
Speaker 5: but there wasn't real anybody that complained about And it
Speaker 5: was great. I didn't say that, but I watched it.
Speaker 5: He could, he could speak for himself. But you look
Speaker 5: at the relationships. You know what night we're sitting there talking.
Speaker 5: In the morning, you would talk. I loved actually being
Speaker 5: in that room with the five of us.
Speaker 1: Yes, it exists, like some of the real emotions that
Speaker 1: come up as you're all vying for Joan, Like how
Speaker 1: did that also kind.
Speaker 2: Of I would say, No, there.
Speaker 1: Was nothing so refreshing here.
Speaker 4: That was not Yeah, I don't know how hell it was,
Speaker 4: you know when the women you know, kind of behind
Speaker 4: closed doors. But we didn't really we didn't, at least
Speaker 4: I didn't talk about Joan with other guys very much.
Speaker 4: We we all had the per se, you know, but
Speaker 4: we just kind of talked about the experience and they
Speaker 4: supported each other and whatever was happening. So you know,
Speaker 4: Toxic on On is one on one that Disneyland. Everybody
Speaker 4: was like so happy.
Speaker 2: For right and when he got back, how'd he go?
Speaker 2: When you want to talk about it? I, oh my god.
Speaker 2: And then so it's like that had.
Speaker 5: Two moments of jealousy and I think I should I
Speaker 5: was the final guy. So the big the reward one
Speaker 5: on one date was the helicopter ride. Yes, and we
Speaker 5: all knew it was going to happen, we just didn't
Speaker 5: know who. And so the guys and it was it
Speaker 5: was Keith on this and so they the producers go,
Speaker 5: you guys, go get out in the pool. We knew
Speaker 5: something was up. Then we're at there about fifteen minutes
Speaker 5: and they go, what is that up in the air,
Speaker 5: And the helicopter buzzed this twice and we're sitting there
Speaker 5: doing I wanted that guy because we knew it was
Speaker 5: so cool.
Speaker 4: I remember, and then I needed to be up there.
Speaker 5: And then Mark when he got the date with Joan
Speaker 5: uh because last year they took a helicopter to this
Speaker 5: big yacht and landed on it and so it said
Speaker 5: like bring your fishing pool or something, so we knew
Speaker 5: it was off shore and Bart comes.
Speaker 4: Back to the date.
Speaker 5: He is just gleating. I mean he is, and I
Speaker 5: go brother, camera goes, well, tell me about the boat.
Speaker 5: He goes, I w wasn't on a boat. We're all
Speaker 5: like this, he goes, I was on a yacht. So yeah,
Speaker 5: it's not like, you know, he got a one up.
Speaker 5: It's like, man, that would have been fun. But you know,
Speaker 5: Disneyland worked out real well for Jona and I. It
Speaker 5: gave us a lot of time together.
Speaker 7: Did you learn any dating tips from the show, like
Speaker 7: from each other as you watched guys approach And.
Speaker 2: For me it wasn't. It wasn't like that. It was
Speaker 2: just be you.
Speaker 4: I can benefit.
Speaker 2: From what you did or what you said or something
Speaker 2: like that. But it was more of just enjoy this
Speaker 2: moment that I have. Not necessarily I'm going to copy
Speaker 2: and do what the guy did.
Speaker 5: If there's not a woman that hadn't fallen in love
Speaker 5: with this guy because his I say soulfulness, but you're carried.
Speaker 4: He was.
Speaker 5: I'll tell you, he was the most carrying guy on
Speaker 5: the show. Absolutely when somebody was was asked to leave
Speaker 5: something like this, the consoling uh he was helped me
Speaker 5: in a situation that I had. This was the best
Speaker 5: guy on the show.
Speaker 1: You that off of you.
Speaker 4: And he's the best dress you've ever seen. I mean,
Speaker 4: but you.
Speaker 5: Said that guy was such a good friend, and Kim Cutson,
Speaker 5: you know, for his personality, caught a little bit of heat.
Speaker 5: The guy was there friending Kim and he was the
Speaker 5: one that stood up and sang the song. Yes, Yes,
Speaker 5: I give him kudos. And then when you talk to
Speaker 5: Charles l about his wife that I don't think you'd
Speaker 5: see that, and it was heartfelt.
Speaker 1: You saw the change in Charles like he needed to
Speaker 1: hear that.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I will say that. You know, when I was
Speaker 4: having the conversation with him, I didn't realize the impact
Speaker 4: I was having at the time because I've had that
Speaker 4: conversation with patients for a thousand times, right as working
Speaker 4: thirty five years in the er. When I watched it
Speaker 4: after on the show, I was going, Okay, no matter
Speaker 4: what happens the rest of the show, whether I get
Speaker 4: another rose or anything.
Speaker 1: You made an impact.
Speaker 4: I mean, the opportunity to be able to impact somebody's
Speaker 4: life like that.
Speaker 1: So sweet is you have a great bedside manner. I
Speaker 1: bet you are a very you know the way you
Speaker 1: dealt with patients, I'm sure was really special.
Speaker 4: You know. One of the things I will say is that,
Speaker 4: you know, because you're talking about like other people's playbook,
Speaker 4: the way I looked at and I think everybody else was,
Speaker 4: you know, probably at the same time. And I didn't
Speaker 4: think of it as being a competition when I was there.
Speaker 4: What I was trying to find out was was Joan
Speaker 4: my person and the my Jones person and could we
Speaker 4: see having, you know, an extended relationship. That's what the
Speaker 4: I was like, Man, I need to be X, Y
Speaker 4: and Z, because it wasn't the competition. It was like,
Speaker 4: can we develop this connection?
Speaker 1: I think that's so important with dating now is I
Speaker 1: think you know, I used to spend a lot of
Speaker 1: time I don't want to say, like trying to sign
Speaker 1: the guide because I, you know, I just wanted to
Speaker 1: make sure then that I had the choice. And now
Speaker 1: I sit on a date and as much as I
Speaker 1: I worry less if they're feeling a connection to me,
Speaker 1: it's more about am I feeling a connection to them?
Speaker 1: And that matters almost just as much because the rejection
Speaker 1: piece was super tough for me back in the day.
Speaker 1: What about you guys rejection.
Speaker 5: Can I real quick, I need to go back and
Speaker 5: say something. I did have one other moment of envy,
Speaker 5: and I want your whole listening audience to have this.
Speaker 5: I came in the show and I was working out
Speaker 5: hard and I'd lost some weight. I was in pretty
Speaker 5: good shape, and there were some other guys that were
Speaker 5: in good shape. But I thought I was in real
Speaker 5: good shape till guy took a shirt off and then
Speaker 5: I was.
Speaker 3: Like, I.
Speaker 4: Can't compete.
Speaker 5: I was just ripped.
Speaker 4: So I did have to say that.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I know.
Speaker 7: So did you guys kind of get ready for the show,
Speaker 7: like made sure you were bringing your best version of yourself?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 2: But then something happened. Once you get there and they've
Speaker 2: got all your wonderful.
Speaker 1: Foods, do you kick the food?
Speaker 2: We killed their ole meals?
Speaker 4: Yeah? Yeah. There was there was no chef.
Speaker 2: And uh catering catering or well there was catering when
Speaker 2: we had our our parties and stuff like that, but
Speaker 2: there was no you know, it was It was really
Speaker 2: humbling with what we had to go through, and it
Speaker 2: made us more grounded, I think, and helped us to
Speaker 2: realize what's really important. Here are us and not anything
Speaker 2: else outside of here. And again Jackie's role was putting
Speaker 2: together these men. That was just so amazing. And the
Speaker 2: relationships that we now have with us for the rest
Speaker 2: of our lives and stay in touch with each other.
Speaker 2: You know, I can't tell you how happy him I
Speaker 2: were over the past week.
Speaker 4: We kids to be able to see each other again.
Speaker 4: So it's it's been fun. At the mansion, it was
Speaker 4: it was family. It was like being in a family
Speaker 4: because we had ye had some some men who were
Speaker 4: really good at cooking. Like I don't cook.
Speaker 8: I know, however, however, that reminds me of story all
Speaker 8: about but but I really couldn't do that well.
Speaker 4: But I knew how to wash and dry dishes and
Speaker 4: put them away. And I said, that really was it
Speaker 4: was you cook, I'll clean the mess up. I'm good
Speaker 4: with that. So it was.
Speaker 2: And some guys enjoyed cooking, like Mark Anderson. He really
Speaker 2: enjoyed putting together these meals without hesitation, and that was
Speaker 2: that was great.
Speaker 5: I got to tell you, I was fortunate to meet
Speaker 5: Mark Anderson. That guy, he's the guy if you had
Speaker 5: a sister you'd want him him to date or he
Speaker 5: was just solid, great dad. He was really solid during
Speaker 5: the whole thing. And when Joan came and said, you're
Speaker 5: not going to move on to the next thing, we
Speaker 5: were saying goodbye to him and he whispers in my ear.
Speaker 5: He goes, invite me to the wedding. Oh yeah, oh.
Speaker 7: And she was broken hearted to let him go, just
Speaker 7: because she knew what a just great, solid guy he
Speaker 7: was well and know there was a connection.
Speaker 5: I know better than anyone else other than Joan, just
Speaker 5: the struggles she had letting people go and with Guy,
Speaker 5: you know, and she told me about that. She goes,
Speaker 5: I didn't want to take him to that next level
Speaker 5: because you know, and I didn't even know about it
Speaker 5: until afterwards. And she goes, well, and what the story was,
Speaker 5: and I told Guy this the other day because we
Speaker 5: didn't talk about this, is they kind of pit the
Speaker 5: two people, the two contestants at the end against each other.
Speaker 5: And she goes, I was not going to do that
Speaker 5: to Guy because that already and what they do is
Speaker 5: you profess your love, write him a love note and
Speaker 5: all this stuff. And she goes, it just wasn't fair
Speaker 5: to Guy.
Speaker 1: She was super elegant in the way she handled every situation.
Speaker 4: She was so there you go. She's a class act.
Speaker 5: She really is not class but class.
Speaker 3: You can't say classy. My mom says, you just can't
Speaker 3: say classic. You just can't say classy.
Speaker 4: I can't say class.
Speaker 1: So do you know? So one of the things that
Speaker 1: she and I do, and I wonder because I think
Speaker 1: a bunch of you are single still so and you
Speaker 1: all obviously keep in touch with each other. So a
Speaker 1: lot of times when we'll go on a date and
Speaker 1: maybe it's not a fit or vice versa, is we
Speaker 1: will gently recycle, use, recycled.
Speaker 3: So we say one recycled.
Speaker 7: Because we did say that one woman's trash.
Speaker 3: It's like because trash, just what is it? Trash?
Speaker 1: He's not trash. It's just it didn't wasn't fit.
Speaker 2: Yeah, good, God didn't aligne.
Speaker 1: So has that happened? Because you all know each other
Speaker 1: so well, like perhaps have you gone out with woman
Speaker 1: that perhaps wasn't for you, but you think guy would
Speaker 1: be a great fit, and have you done that? Or
Speaker 1: we do should So I'm actually going out. I'm actually
Speaker 1: going out with.
Speaker 7: Somebody that I went out with and then she gave
Speaker 7: to her sister and the sister didn't connect with him.
Speaker 3: And now I'm going out the next.
Speaker 5: Compliment, it's a complimentary charm.
Speaker 2: I mean, he's not me, He's okay, why don't you well, darling,
Speaker 2: he's not. And so I mean, what a great.
Speaker 1: Wouldn't you be if you.
Speaker 3: Were a guy and somebody said, you know, it wasn't
Speaker 3: a fit. But I think enough of you that I
Speaker 3: think you should go out with one of my friends.
Speaker 5: I have a success story in my life. I grew
Speaker 5: up with a lady. She's a client, she's a friend
Speaker 5: of mine. We climbed Kilimanjaro together.
Speaker 3: You want it.
Speaker 1: It's not on your bucket list.
Speaker 4: September, but that's where the car during the show and
Speaker 4: that surgery, so it was off. I'm sorry, but I
Speaker 4: have it from next year.
Speaker 5: So she lived in Austin and she on a dating app,
Speaker 5: went out and met somebody and the guy goes, you know,
Speaker 5: and you say, not for me, but he goes, I've
Speaker 5: got a guy that you should meet. And it was
Speaker 5: his best friend. They've been married for like twelve years.
Speaker 5: Oh wow, And I mean, just the greatest couple.
Speaker 3: You never know.
Speaker 5: But what a compliment is going on? I do it
Speaker 5: that time, Yeah, because we all want something different in
Speaker 5: our lives.
Speaker 1: It's also that energy is there. You know, you might
Speaker 1: be the most fabulous guy and we might sit across
Speaker 1: the table and not feel an energy, and all of
Speaker 1: a sudden you sit there with her and you're like,
Speaker 1: my god, this is my person.
Speaker 5: Well, some people like smart people, you know, some people
Speaker 5: like tall people, some people like a type personalities.
Speaker 4: You know, it's just there's it's just so different.
Speaker 1: And what we're looking for in our twenties is different
Speaker 1: than our thirties, is different than our forties. Like, what
Speaker 1: are you guys looking for now in your sixties?
Speaker 5: I say the sea word compatibility. You've got to be compatible.
Speaker 3: I hope, I hope that's the sea worder.
Speaker 4: Well, I've said that befotunate word. What's he going to say?
Speaker 7: But there's a lot of there's a lot of still.
Speaker 5: Sexual to say, you've got to be turned on by,
Speaker 5: but the compatibility because you've been in a bad relationship,
Speaker 5: you've been in a bad relationship, you have there is
Speaker 5: almost nothing worse. There's death and all that, but being
Speaker 5: in a bad relationship where you don't want.
Speaker 3: To get through. I don't feel like I've had many
Speaker 3: bad relationships.
Speaker 4: Want to get divorced.
Speaker 7: Well that's another.
Speaker 3: Another podcast.
Speaker 4: You know, I'm going to jump off of your first
Speaker 4: c because they had asked me early on, you know,
Speaker 4: like whether you're looking for in a relationship, and I
Speaker 4: actually came up with the five seas, which I expanded
Speaker 4: to eight, and it was it was communication, it was compatibility,
Speaker 4: it was commitment, it was caring, it was compromise. I
Speaker 4: also throwing comedic, I love.
Speaker 1: I love my God.
Speaker 3: That's not negotiable.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and chemistry you need to nine.
Speaker 4: That's no. That was that was the one of that
Speaker 4: and they never ate My brother Gary christ.
Speaker 1: Got it nice. It's a lot to see, really works
Speaker 1: for a lot of important Where's it in a relationship?
Speaker 7: What advice can you give to women in terms of
Speaker 7: good spots? I mean this sounds so tried after the
Speaker 7: conversation we've had, but good spots that maybe they can
Speaker 7: meet men or best ways to approach men or position
Speaker 7: themselves online. And I know that's a broad question, but
Speaker 7: just like whatever speaks.
Speaker 5: To you, can I go first?
Speaker 4: Absolutely?
Speaker 5: Yeah, because I just did this on a podcast. Is
Speaker 5: when you're on an elevator, say hi to someone, when
Speaker 5: you're in the grocery store, just say hi to someone.
Speaker 5: You just never know what they're going to say. They
Speaker 5: could be in the same position when they're looking for someone,
Speaker 5: and the high is not you're not being aggressive or
Speaker 5: anything else. But then there's a lot of guys on
Speaker 5: the show that have met people the ladies have DM
Speaker 5: them and they've reached out to me. I think it's
Speaker 5: a compliment for a guy to get somebody that a
Speaker 5: lady reaches out and don't be shy and live your life.
Speaker 5: But there's just people. My grandmother after my granddad, she
Speaker 5: never dated anyone, So to each their own. But if
Speaker 5: you want to date someone, you've got to open up
Speaker 5: and you have to be ready. That's the other thing is,
Speaker 5: don't waste their time if you're not ready.
Speaker 1: It also doesn't drop out of the sky like you
Speaker 1: have to put effort into meeting somebody.
Speaker 5: Well, and if you want somebody in shape, go to
Speaker 5: the gym. You want religion, you can go to church.
Speaker 5: A lot of churches have a single deals you know
Speaker 5: what's important to you, or do a little bit of
Speaker 5: all of it. You never know. But I think the
Speaker 5: best thing is to go to your friends and go, hey,
Speaker 5: I'm ready to date. If you know anybody your friends.
Speaker 5: That referral system is incredible.
Speaker 1: Well, you have to tell you what we're doing just quickly.
Speaker 4: Okay.
Speaker 1: So I really wanted her to start dating again, and
Speaker 1: I said it's time to go on an app and
Speaker 1: she was just like, I'm not feeling it. So I said, fine,
Speaker 1: So I am her Sereno de Bergerac. I am doing
Speaker 1: all of her online dating.
Speaker 7: It is my picture, it is my picture.
Speaker 1: I wrote everything. I'm doing all of it. And then
Speaker 1: I call her be like, just gave somebody your number.
Speaker 1: But the problem is is sometimes I answer questions like
Speaker 1: as if it's so then she hates coffee. I love coffee,
Speaker 1: and you know, I'll say like.
Speaker 3: Oh so they invite me to coffee.
Speaker 1: Coffee, but it's been really fun or instead, But it's
Speaker 1: been fun.
Speaker 7: And the nice thing is it's actually been kind of
Speaker 7: freeing because you're not attached to the result.
Speaker 3: I'm not at touched.
Speaker 7: It's it's nice because I'm not going to call. You're
Speaker 7: not going to call because I haven't even engaged.
Speaker 5: Well, let's be semi intellectually interesting.
Speaker 4: What do you want?
Speaker 3: Way to turn it back on us talk.
Speaker 7: I want something a little unconventional, but in terms of
Speaker 7: personality and person I want somebody that I admire and
Speaker 7: look up to and makes me a better person and
Speaker 7: challenges me to get outside of my comfort zone and
Speaker 7: become just a more evolved, interesting and smart person. But
Speaker 7: I want somebody that's funny, intelligent, confident, and also has
Speaker 7: their own life and interests. Not that I I mean,
Speaker 7: not that I want I want to do things together,
Speaker 7: but I am somewhat independent and I have a full life.
Speaker 7: And that's not to say that I don't want to
Speaker 7: integrate lives with somebody. But I really have a family
Speaker 7: that I'm close to, an extended family and friends, and
Speaker 7: I would love to integrate that with somebody. But I'm
Speaker 7: okay if somebody has a lot of their own history
Speaker 7: as well, and Sarah like holidays are important to them,
Speaker 7: and it's really important that they are in Massachusetts, do
Speaker 7: you know.
Speaker 3: What I mean? With their extended family or their grandkids
Speaker 3: or whatever. They have a widow. You know, they're widowers
Speaker 3: and they need to be somewhere.
Speaker 7: I'm okay if we don't do everything all the time
Speaker 7: together and we have certain traditions that we maintain separately.
Speaker 4: She been divorced for a while oh what.
Speaker 3: Is that she's used to being on her own?
Speaker 4: Absolutely, yeah, that you're okay with it?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I am. And I think that I have to
Speaker 3: work on maybe being a little more needy. Truly I do.
Speaker 4: I don't.
Speaker 7: I mean, needy is an unattractive word, but I think
Speaker 7: that I give off the air that I don't. I
Speaker 7: think that that might be off putting. And it's like,
Speaker 7: I say, I want to date, but if I'm not
Speaker 7: making somebody feel like.
Speaker 2: They're adding value, I think. I guess men, I think
Speaker 2: we we want to be how do I say this, Well,
Speaker 2: just say it. I think we want to feel like
Speaker 2: we are still the man. We want to still feel
Speaker 2: like we're adding value in that way. And it's kind
Speaker 2: of tricky because times have changed such that there is
Speaker 2: such independence and women who have such great success, and
Speaker 2: incorporating the two together is very very important. You're still
Speaker 2: able to do that, They're still able to do what
Speaker 2: they want to do and go and grow, and so
Speaker 2: it's it's a melting pot, right, It's a combination of
Speaker 2: the two and making that work and having respect for
Speaker 2: what you do and loving you for what you do
Speaker 2: and get behind you, giving you the space and giving
Speaker 2: a space to still do that, but still feeling like
Speaker 2: but she still wants to be with me, she still
Speaker 2: needs some of the things that I.
Speaker 3: And I'm additive to her life wouldn't feel.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and that and that's I would. I would say
Speaker 4: that you you want somebody who enhances your life and
Speaker 4: you enhance their life.
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's a piece that's important for me which I
Speaker 1: didn't have in my marriage, which is I need the
Speaker 1: person to be like my park bench, the person who
Speaker 1: I can sit next to just look at the birds,
Speaker 1: either laughing hysterically or totally comfortable in silence. Somebody who's
Speaker 1: really my best friend. And if it's not one hundred
Speaker 1: percent additive, like she was saying, I don't need to
Speaker 1: be with somebody. I want to be with the right
Speaker 1: person because I'm okay on my own right and so
Speaker 1: I'm really looking my kind of catchphrase is my park bench.
Speaker 4: Yeah, well said it's good.
Speaker 3: And we are strong.
Speaker 7: So I think I want somebody who is strong in
Speaker 7: their own ways that I can maybe not come across
Speaker 7: so strong.
Speaker 4: So why I like strong?
Speaker 1: I like strong women across very strong to you.
Speaker 2: No, not strong in the in the sense.
Speaker 5: Of overpowering, not overly.
Speaker 2: No, I think this is a wonderful thing. It's very
Speaker 2: attractive to me to find someone with that kind of
Speaker 2: drive because.
Speaker 3: I feel like.
Speaker 2: Three times a charm and we're going to keep it going.
Speaker 2: But I think it's attractive to have.
Speaker 4: A strong woman. But right, I mean, I don't want.
Speaker 2: Somebody who's just this little doormat doormat and following me
Speaker 2: every It's like, where's your life?
Speaker 5: The military does this. They do a summary after every mission.
Speaker 5: What went right? What went wrong? Have you done that?
Speaker 3: Chuck? I feel like we need to have a therapy
Speaker 3: session after this. I really do.
Speaker 7: Like we're here all weekend. I might have an hour session,
Speaker 7: give metactifully, you have to.
Speaker 5: Look at it and go if I do want someone,
Speaker 5: but it's it's luck and it's time, and it's just
Speaker 5: but you know what, why hasn't it worked? And I
Speaker 5: just got lucky because you could say the same thing
Speaker 5: to me and I go, I couldn't put this thing
Speaker 5: together if I had to. My daughter signed me up
Speaker 5: for the show.
Speaker 4: She was luck. She did.
Speaker 5: My daughter did the application. You asked this question earlier
Speaker 5: as if she were me, and what I do?
Speaker 1: I'm doing her online dating and I think nothing is random.
Speaker 1: I think people come into our life, whether it's a
Speaker 1: lesson or a blessing, something to learn. Right, So, in
Speaker 1: terms of taking stock of each relationship and what you
Speaker 1: learn and what you're going to take with you, what
Speaker 1: was the good, what was the bad, It all kind
Speaker 1: of builds up to hopefully what becomes your final destination.
Speaker 5: And you learn then you learn the non negotiables, Oh
Speaker 5: for sure on that, which.
Speaker 4: Are That's a whole nother thing.
Speaker 1: That's a podcast number two.
Speaker 5: Yeah, that's a whole another potlem we all have, Yeah,
Speaker 5: as we should.
Speaker 1: So we we kind of for the last few minutes,
Speaker 1: we came up with this idea of doing well. Actually
Speaker 1: Andy Cohen did a Bravo, but we want to do
Speaker 1: our own game of rapid fire, which is like basically
Speaker 1: this or that, and we're going to just each of you,
Speaker 1: you know, kind of throw out a scenario and you know,
Speaker 1: you just respond with what the answer is?
Speaker 9: Okay, okay, you want me to start yep, street smart
Speaker 9: or book smart smart, night out on the town or
Speaker 9: quiet night in, Quiet night in, if a woman drinks
Speaker 9: a bit too much on a first date, endearing or
Speaker 9: a turnoff run turn off, implants are oh natural, Oh.
Speaker 4: I like them, big Gary.
Speaker 1: Both anything.
Speaker 3: Both phone call or FaceTime.
Speaker 4: FaceTime.
Speaker 3: I don't do face phone call.
Speaker 4: Phone call.
Speaker 3: You're young and heart the phone call.
Speaker 4: You know, a phone call to begin with, but you
Speaker 4: need to move to a face at least. I've just
Speaker 4: learned this. You know, I need to have like I
Speaker 4: actually have FaceTime dates. I'll say, let's just, you know,
Speaker 4: get a.
Speaker 5: Across from the guy could wake up after ten sleeping.
Speaker 5: He's gonna look pretty. That's what he needs, you know,
Speaker 5: It's just that's how he is.
Speaker 2: And I think you really quick. The FaceTime thing really
Speaker 2: takes away from the touching, the feeling, that very intimate
Speaker 2: moment you need to have with someone. It just ruins
Speaker 2: that just being able to reach out and and see
Speaker 2: your expressions in person.
Speaker 3: No, don't get okay, this was a rapid fire people.
Speaker 1: Does it matter if a person cooks or doesn't cook.
Speaker 4: I like some of the cooks. I like cooking.
Speaker 3: Okay, final one sending a nude or sending a funny meme.
Speaker 4: Funny meme, no nudes.
Speaker 3: Okay, guys, you have been amazing.
Speaker 1: Wait do you have a rapid fire one for each
Speaker 1: of us?
Speaker 3: I don't want to.
Speaker 4: He doesn't want to do asked for shoulders, shoulders, shoulders, Blonder, Brunette, Bnette, Brunette, Barnette,
Speaker 4: no comment.
Speaker 1: Parties, so much fun. Thank you for doing this with us.
Speaker 4: You're very welcome. I can't just say one thing, just
Speaker 4: you know, with these guys, and we had this connection
Speaker 4: with all all the guys on the show, but I
Speaker 4: do have to say that, you know, we three were
Speaker 4: roommates along with two other guys, Charles and Michael. I
Speaker 4: have to compliment Chalk because he he's been so gracious
Speaker 4: to everybody. He is, He's very articulated, he speaks really well.
Speaker 4: He is a good therapist, and I was on the
Speaker 4: receiving end of some of those therapy sessions and hopefully
Speaker 4: vice versa. So I want to thank you for the
Speaker 4: experienced Chockets. It was absolutely tremendous and Gary knows how
Speaker 4: I feel about it. We met the very first night
Speaker 4: before we went out, and we've been brothers from another
Speaker 4: mother since ever since. I love it absolutely so.
Speaker 1: In conclusion, hopefully we gave our listeners a real kind
Speaker 1: of bird's eye view into the minds of these amazing
Speaker 1: men Golden Bachelors for all things dating in our age
Speaker 1: as we all look for our chapter two. Thank you
Speaker 1: so much, guys.
Speaker 7: Thanks for having us, Thank you, thank you so If
Speaker 7: you're having a hard time getting back into the dating
Speaker 7: scene or ready to get back out there but don't
Speaker 7: know where to start, definitely reach out to us. You
Speaker 7: can call, you can email, follow us on socials. All
Speaker 7: the information will be in the show notes, and make
Speaker 7: sure to rate and review this podcast. I Do Part
Speaker 7: two an iHeartRadio podcast where falling in love is the
Speaker 7: main objective. Watching