WEBVTT - Mansplaining 0:00:13.039 --> 0:00:16.280 Welcome to I Do Part two, the podcast that's all 0:00:16.320 --> 0:00:20.040 about finding love the second time around. Here we are 0:00:20.320 --> 0:00:23.439 Thelma and Louise, still single, still trying to do our best, 0:00:23.800 --> 0:00:26.360 and we are luckily in Pebble Beach at the pro 0:00:26.520 --> 0:00:32.560 am with three amazingly hot, age appropriate guys also from 0:00:32.600 --> 0:00:36.160 The Bachelor. So welcome. We have Chalk, Gary and Guy, 0:00:36.720 --> 0:00:39.120 and it's Thelma and Louise. And as much as we 0:00:39.159 --> 0:00:42.239 would love to grill you all day long about The Bachelor, 0:00:42.280 --> 0:00:44.839 we are actually here to talk to the three of 0:00:44.880 --> 0:00:49.400 you about Chapter two, dating post the TV show, what 0:00:49.520 --> 0:00:51.520 it was like pre and just kind of get into 0:00:51.560 --> 0:00:53.280 the minds of you three amazing. 0:00:53.240 --> 0:00:56.240 I'm going to make a slight correction, not the Bachelor, 0:00:56.880 --> 0:00:57.880 the Golden. 0:00:57.800 --> 0:00:59.920 Oh oh sorry, you just look so young. 0:01:00.160 --> 0:01:04.560 We are. We are the Golden Bachelor's Golden Bachelors. 0:01:04.000 --> 0:01:05.360 From the Golden Batte. 0:01:05.520 --> 0:01:07.480 But because we're also in your age range, we just 0:01:07.480 --> 0:01:07.840 look at you. 0:01:09.160 --> 0:01:11.000 I'll take that. I think. 0:01:13.440 --> 0:01:16.440 Dating, Yeah, let me slide closer to the guy over here. 0:01:16.680 --> 0:01:20.279 My dating life's been great after the show, different days, 0:01:20.319 --> 0:01:24.240 I met all kinds of women, a lot of trouble. 0:01:24.600 --> 0:01:26.880 But how your dating life change post the show? Like, 0:01:26.920 --> 0:01:28.759 what was that. I'd love to know the dating kind 0:01:28.800 --> 0:01:29.640 of pre the show. 0:01:30.000 --> 0:01:34.640 Pre the show, you know, I I dated differently. I 0:01:34.720 --> 0:01:38.640 dated locally in the Reno area. But then I decided to, 0:01:39.200 --> 0:01:41.840 like a lot of us at this age, I delved 0:01:41.880 --> 0:01:44.520 into the dating apps. 0:01:43.680 --> 0:01:44.959 Oh so fun. 0:01:45.000 --> 0:01:47.440 It's crazy to tell them our dating app situation. 0:01:48.200 --> 0:01:50.920 Interestingly enough, I would actually say, you know, I met 0:01:51.120 --> 0:01:55.600 a lot of very very nice, fun, intelligent, you know 0:01:56.320 --> 0:02:00.520 women on the dating apps, oftentimes from me, though they 0:02:00.560 --> 0:02:03.279 were you know, yeah, I had travel, you know, to 0:02:03.280 --> 0:02:05.840 to be able to actually see them in person because 0:02:05.840 --> 0:02:08.760 they don't don't necessarily live in the Reno Tahoe area. 0:02:08.800 --> 0:02:11.440 Can I ask a question real quick though, percentage wise? 0:02:11.520 --> 0:02:14.000 How many of their pictures look like them? 0:02:14.320 --> 0:02:17.040 That's my question, and then we'll give you. 0:02:17.120 --> 0:02:19.600 I also want to know your age range too, because 0:02:19.600 --> 0:02:22.880 that's the whole thing we experience in la Is. Guys 0:02:23.000 --> 0:02:23.799 want to date. 0:02:23.880 --> 0:02:27.240 Way younger or they put you know, their age, They 0:02:27.840 --> 0:02:30.520 put their ages sixty and then in their comments they 0:02:30.560 --> 0:02:33.240 say my age is actually seventy two, and I'm like, 0:02:33.760 --> 0:02:34.520 that didn't make sense. 0:02:34.639 --> 0:02:37.840 There's a lot of attack. 0:02:38.120 --> 0:02:40.840 Let's jump to this because I told you I'll ask anything. Okay, 0:02:41.040 --> 0:02:43.040 So women do that all the time and they go, well, 0:02:43.080 --> 0:02:45.920 guys want younger women. So we'll start with you. Is 0:02:45.919 --> 0:02:46.840 it Thelma or Luise? 0:02:46.919 --> 0:02:47.200 Theoma? 0:02:47.720 --> 0:02:52.160 Louise, I'm Thema. What's catuemb the youngest guy? 0:02:52.840 --> 0:02:56.560 Well, I'm not gonna lie post divorce and my divorce 0:02:56.639 --> 0:03:01.079 was a bit unique. My recipe for kind of moving 0:03:01.080 --> 0:03:03.040 on was a little different. 0:03:03.280 --> 0:03:08.000 And so I got divorced. At how old was I? 0:03:09.280 --> 0:03:12.520 It was twenty fourteen for both of us, and we're 0:03:12.639 --> 0:03:14.560 so you were forty one forty. 0:03:15.120 --> 0:03:18.360 One, so I probably like, I mean twenty five, but 0:03:18.600 --> 0:03:23.320 like I telling you, it was, it was. It was one. 0:03:23.800 --> 0:03:25.600 It was it was literally like two. 0:03:25.600 --> 0:03:28.120 Or three for six months, and then it was like, okay, 0:03:28.240 --> 0:03:29.520 many we have nothing in common. 0:03:29.840 --> 0:03:31.320 They'd just gotten their first credit. 0:03:31.160 --> 0:03:33.240 Card and like we get n I do think part 0:03:33.280 --> 0:03:34.800 of the journey in life too, is you need to 0:03:34.840 --> 0:03:36.480 do that to see if that's what you want. 0:03:36.760 --> 0:03:37.560 Oh I didn't want it. 0:03:37.600 --> 0:03:39.720 I just needed to like heal and that was like 0:03:39.960 --> 0:03:42.080 my process and then and then I was like I'm 0:03:42.080 --> 0:03:43.520 ready for people that I can actually relate to. 0:03:43.600 --> 0:03:45.160 Yeah, and you. 0:03:46.760 --> 0:03:48.480 So when I first got divorced, I was on a 0:03:48.480 --> 0:03:50.680 girl's trip to New York, and my friends were like, 0:03:51.200 --> 0:03:53.160 we're going to do something different for you, and so 0:03:53.200 --> 0:03:55.960 there poured me out there and they found some young, 0:03:56.000 --> 0:03:58.960 hot guy and you basically sent him home with I 0:03:59.000 --> 0:04:00.720 don't even know if there was uber than ten years 0:04:00.760 --> 0:04:04.000 about ten years ago and it was literally one and done, 0:04:04.080 --> 0:04:05.560 and I was like, this is just not my jam, 0:04:05.640 --> 0:04:08.680 Like I prefer age appropriate. Definitely, a lot of my 0:04:08.720 --> 0:04:11.760 friends in LA date younger guys and they have to 0:04:11.800 --> 0:04:13.920 pay for them, and it's all I don't even know. 0:04:14.400 --> 0:04:16.719 Also, this could be a misconception, but I feel like, 0:04:16.800 --> 0:04:20.120 as a woman, I don't want to date somebody too 0:04:20.160 --> 0:04:23.200 young because I don't want to feel old. And I 0:04:23.720 --> 0:04:26.640 think a misconception that I have is do men want 0:04:26.680 --> 0:04:31.039 to date younger women because then it makes them feel 0:04:31.120 --> 0:04:33.479 kind of either young or it's a trophy. 0:04:33.520 --> 0:04:38.240 And yeah, and so for me dating someone younger, I 0:04:38.279 --> 0:04:42.479 would not go below ten years below my age. I 0:04:42.520 --> 0:04:44.080 want someone that's refreshing. 0:04:45.520 --> 0:04:47.640 In Los Angeles, ye age appropriate for. 0:04:47.640 --> 0:04:51.320 Me because coming up through the ranks like we do, 0:04:52.279 --> 0:04:57.279 we look they are still finding their way and I'm 0:04:57.279 --> 0:04:59.039 at a point in my life now where I don't 0:04:59.080 --> 0:05:02.000 want to help you find in your way. I don't 0:05:02.000 --> 0:05:06.840 have time because it's just not worth it and it's 0:05:06.960 --> 0:05:10.600 very expensive. As you can imagine dating someone younger who's 0:05:10.640 --> 0:05:14.040 expecting an older guy to step in and be like 0:05:14.080 --> 0:05:18.560 this totally. So it's ten years for me, I will 0:05:18.600 --> 0:05:19.560 go fifty. 0:05:19.240 --> 0:05:20.479 Five, but not below that. 0:05:20.960 --> 0:05:24.320 He's sixty five, doesn't he look good for me? Amazing? 0:05:24.520 --> 0:05:27.760 Golden, amazing? Okay? Yeah, you what about you guy? What 0:05:27.760 --> 0:05:28.599 what's your age? 0:05:28.800 --> 0:05:28.880 Like? 0:05:28.960 --> 0:05:31.080 Yeah, let's take kind of too criteria with that, and 0:05:31.560 --> 0:05:34.200 I would, you know, be in the same lines as 0:05:34.240 --> 0:05:38.960 Gary here somewhere around ten years. But you know, I 0:05:39.000 --> 0:05:41.040 don't put in an absolute age because I mean if they 0:05:41.040 --> 0:05:44.440 were fifty three and you know there was a connection, yea, 0:05:44.960 --> 0:05:49.159 I would go down. In other words, no, no, you know, no, 0:05:50.120 --> 0:05:53.040 you know, you know it would be flattering. But the 0:05:53.080 --> 0:05:55.960 reality is that you alluded to you just don't have 0:05:56.279 --> 0:05:58.120 many things in common. I always like to say that 0:05:58.560 --> 0:06:00.919 if I have to explain to him who led Zeppelins, 0:06:00.960 --> 0:06:01.680 we got a problem. 0:06:02.640 --> 0:06:05.159 Well. And also, I mean it's not pretty to talk about, 0:06:05.160 --> 0:06:06.039 but what about the health. 0:06:06.120 --> 0:06:07.279 I mean, let's be honest. 0:06:07.320 --> 0:06:10.120 Well, and that's the other is that, you know, especially 0:06:10.120 --> 0:06:12.719 if somebody is younger and they actually would be interested 0:06:12.720 --> 0:06:14.640 in going out with you to say, you know, I'm 0:06:14.680 --> 0:06:17.440 sixty six, you know, and let's say you're forty six. Well, 0:06:17.720 --> 0:06:20.000 when you're my age, I'm going to be eighty six 0:06:20.040 --> 0:06:21.680 years old. Do you really want that? 0:06:22.279 --> 0:06:22.479 Women? 0:06:22.680 --> 0:06:24.880 Women a much better than than men do. 0:06:25.160 --> 0:06:28.880 So you three of aged really well. 0:06:28.920 --> 0:06:30.840 I do have a story for you. That's that's a 0:06:31.000 --> 0:06:31.680 that's comforting. 0:06:31.880 --> 0:06:34.839 You know the date that Joan and I had at Disneyland, 0:06:34.839 --> 0:06:37.360 the first one on one date. The execs give you 0:06:37.360 --> 0:06:39.880 a whole and I came back and I said, guys, 0:06:39.920 --> 0:06:40.760 I'm going to start. 0:06:40.560 --> 0:06:42.400 Giving this story. No, we saw it on the show, 0:06:42.480 --> 0:06:42.920 but what. 0:06:42.920 --> 0:06:44.800 You didn't see here is I said, Okay, I'm going 0:06:44.839 --> 0:06:47.799 to give this prize to which one of you bachelor 0:06:47.839 --> 0:06:50.800 guys bachelorette guys has been with the youngest woman. And 0:06:50.839 --> 0:06:52.800 I will not tell you because it's guycode, but it 0:06:52.839 --> 0:06:56.440 would absolutely surprise the fans who'd been with the youngest woman. 0:06:56.960 --> 0:06:59.960 Oh you have you have to say, gee, I love guy. 0:07:00.480 --> 0:07:01.159 Not this guy. 0:07:01.400 --> 0:07:03.080 So you're the guy, you know. 0:07:04.720 --> 0:07:07.279 Because you said guy and I'm thinking it was not guys. 0:07:07.800 --> 0:07:08.640 Brother of advanced. 0:07:08.640 --> 0:07:10.320 They could sit there and think about that, but it 0:07:10.360 --> 0:07:12.000 was somebody you would least expect. 0:07:12.400 --> 0:07:12.880 I love guy. 0:07:12.960 --> 0:07:13.720 Remember who it was? 0:07:14.160 --> 0:07:14.320 Yes? 0:07:14.640 --> 0:07:16.800 Yeah, By the way, the whole frat aspect. Can you 0:07:16.800 --> 0:07:19.760 imagine going back in time after like living the lives 0:07:19.800 --> 0:07:21.880 you live and then literally going back into a frat 0:07:21.920 --> 0:07:24.120 house mentality? How much fun to do that for another 0:07:24.520 --> 0:07:25.160 kind of sliver? 0:07:25.560 --> 0:07:27.280 Well, ironically we were roommates. 0:07:27.560 --> 0:07:30.320 No, my gosh, no one of you guys are sitting 0:07:30.320 --> 0:07:31.640 so cozily on that couch together. 0:07:31.840 --> 0:07:34.080 If it were any of us, we'd be the same 0:07:34.120 --> 0:07:35.640 way for the for the whole crew. 0:07:35.720 --> 0:07:37.920 We had a lot of late conversation. Yeah, it was great. 0:07:38.240 --> 0:07:40.000 Did you two do apps? Also? 0:07:40.560 --> 0:07:45.160 No, I did an app like twenty thirty years ago, 0:07:46.120 --> 0:07:46.640 not thirty. 0:07:46.760 --> 0:07:48.520 Oh my god, I'm really sure my age. 0:07:49.040 --> 0:07:54.160 Uh, it was like around the early two thousands, and 0:07:55.640 --> 0:07:58.160 I had some pretty good luck with that because it 0:07:58.200 --> 0:08:01.440 was like the third time in that was someone that 0:08:01.480 --> 0:08:03.800 I ended up being with for like eight. 0:08:03.640 --> 0:08:05.520 To ten years. Wow, So it. 0:08:05.560 --> 0:08:08.840 Worked out in my favor. But now I don't that's 0:08:08.920 --> 0:08:10.640 that's not my choice of. 0:08:11.120 --> 0:08:14.520 So do you find it easy to meet women in 0:08:14.960 --> 0:08:17.560 kind of real life? I mean, I assume after the 0:08:17.600 --> 0:08:19.200 show it's probably also easier. 0:08:19.360 --> 0:08:23.000 Well, I mean, has your approached I guess you had 0:08:23.040 --> 0:08:25.280 your kind of pre the show and then post show. 0:08:25.720 --> 0:08:28.720 Do you feel like your approach to dating is different 0:08:28.760 --> 0:08:30.480 as a result of the show and kind of what 0:08:30.640 --> 0:08:31.160 is that now? 0:08:31.880 --> 0:08:33.240 These guys are getting a lot of action. 0:08:35.559 --> 0:08:40.679 I mean, the women are coming out of it's as guys. 0:08:40.760 --> 0:08:45.559 It's very flattering, it's very flattering. But I've become more selective. 0:08:45.640 --> 0:08:49.040 I become more confident in my own skin, saying I 0:08:49.080 --> 0:08:52.440 don't want, I don't need, I'm not looking, and so 0:08:53.080 --> 0:08:55.040 you know these's that's just not. 0:08:54.960 --> 0:08:55.440 Going to work. 0:08:55.559 --> 0:08:57.440 So you're discerning, Yeah, very much. 0:08:57.400 --> 0:08:58.160 So very much. 0:08:58.160 --> 0:09:03.600 So how about you guys regarding you know what? 0:09:03.600 --> 0:09:07.160 I yeah, you know, it has been interesting phenomenon since, 0:09:07.320 --> 0:09:11.640 you know, after the show, because you know, I didn't 0:09:11.640 --> 0:09:14.600 realize it would I would be recognized as much as 0:09:14.600 --> 0:09:16.600 I am, even you know, if you go to Vegas. 0:09:16.600 --> 0:09:18.679 I'm just was kind of just blown away, like how 0:09:18.679 --> 0:09:22.520 many people stop me. Didn't realize how popular the show 0:09:22.600 --> 0:09:25.079 was and how many people really tune in. And they 0:09:25.480 --> 0:09:30.160 they really you know, different different guys. They resonated with 0:09:30.200 --> 0:09:32.720 their character, not the characters, but their personality. 0:09:32.920 --> 0:09:35.000 But that is such a universal theme, right, so it 0:09:35.160 --> 0:09:37.640 just appeals to so many everybody. 0:09:37.160 --> 0:09:41.120 Basically it is. And so yeah, I mean, you know people, 0:09:41.320 --> 0:09:44.040 you know, I have been approached you know, more than once, 0:09:44.400 --> 0:09:46.920 less than a thousand times. I don't know, somewhere around there. 0:09:47.360 --> 0:09:50.240 But it's you know a lot of times. You know, 0:09:50.760 --> 0:09:53.319 you have to be very careful, especially if they slide 0:09:53.320 --> 0:09:59.080 into your DM because everybody, yeah, they maybe they want 0:09:59.160 --> 0:10:01.679 you know, just there five minutes of fame or whatever. 0:10:01.720 --> 0:10:02.240 It is like that. 0:10:02.320 --> 0:10:04.400 Okay, So what's the best story you've had thus far? 0:10:08.600 --> 0:10:09.680 He does have a good one. 0:10:11.640 --> 0:10:13.680 He's got at least one good Come. 0:10:13.559 --> 0:10:15.040 On, you've been on national television. 0:10:15.160 --> 0:10:19.040 You got to tell us, yes, yeah, yes I did. 0:10:19.559 --> 0:10:22.800 I did meet somebody who you know, just kind of 0:10:22.800 --> 0:10:25.719 reached out. And oftentimes you get these messages and it's 0:10:25.720 --> 0:10:28.320 almost like fan mail. They just are there and they're 0:10:28.440 --> 0:10:33.120 so supportive. I've not received one negative message from anyone. 0:10:33.320 --> 0:10:38.000 It's it's it's overwhelming. Actually, the number of very positive comments. 0:10:38.040 --> 0:10:39.000 Are they writing from prison? 0:10:40.720 --> 0:10:40.880 You know? 0:10:40.960 --> 0:10:43.280 I don't know that. Yeah, oh my god, but I 0:10:43.320 --> 0:10:48.520 can tell you I'll finish going going back. You know, Yes, 0:10:48.720 --> 0:10:49.880 I have been catfished. 0:10:50.480 --> 0:10:56.439 Have you several times interesting. So have you guys dated 0:10:56.880 --> 0:11:00.920 kind of anyone specific since the show? Like, have you 0:11:01.040 --> 0:11:02.520 formed a connection with anybody? 0:11:02.600 --> 0:11:03.160 Can I go back? 0:11:03.200 --> 0:11:05.200 One thing I do want to say about dating younger. 0:11:05.600 --> 0:11:07.440 I have a twenty five year old daughter and she 0:11:07.520 --> 0:11:09.800 and I are very close, and she goes, Dad, if 0:11:09.840 --> 0:11:12.360 you ever date anyone close to my age, I'm bringing 0:11:12.360 --> 0:11:13.880 a sixty five year old man home. 0:11:14.320 --> 0:11:18.600 So it's my kids have a strong opinion too, they 0:11:18.640 --> 0:11:21.120 said to me. They came on from college and they said, Mom, 0:11:21.360 --> 0:11:23.920 we're getting very concerned about your options. I was like, 0:11:23.920 --> 0:11:25.920 what do you mean. They go, it just seems like 0:11:25.960 --> 0:11:28.520 it's like the twenty five year old or you know, 0:11:28.920 --> 0:11:30.760 the eighty year old, and I was like, wow, that 0:11:30.880 --> 0:11:33.760 sounds pretty grim. Do you have a preference, they said 0:11:33.880 --> 0:11:38.200 the older guy. I said, okay, good to know that's awesome. 0:11:38.360 --> 0:11:40.000 But I think ten years is good. I like your 0:11:40.000 --> 0:11:41.760 ten years, so that's kind of mine as well. I 0:11:41.760 --> 0:11:45.880 think ten years because ten years can be physical, but 0:11:45.920 --> 0:11:48.360 it also like people can be really an old or 0:11:48.360 --> 0:11:50.719 a young But I think using ten years is kind 0:11:50.720 --> 0:11:51.640 of the rain good benchmin. 0:11:52.600 --> 0:11:54.760 I just think if you're in love, let it have Oh, 0:11:55.960 --> 0:11:58.240 says the guy I worked out for Jones nine muths 0:11:58.240 --> 0:12:00.160 older than I am. 0:12:01.320 --> 0:12:04.480 I mean, do you believe an instant connection or do 0:12:04.520 --> 0:12:07.040 you guys believe more in a slow burn in terms 0:12:07.080 --> 0:12:09.800 of the longevity or the health of a relationship. 0:12:10.720 --> 0:12:14.440 Personally speaking, my relationships, the serious ones had been really 0:12:14.480 --> 0:12:17.520 first impression really where you just go like butterfly. But 0:12:17.559 --> 0:12:19.200 there's been a lot that, you know, you go hey, 0:12:19.200 --> 0:12:20.920 I kind of like them when it fizzled out. But 0:12:21.040 --> 0:12:23.240 with Joan, I can't speak for her that it was 0:12:23.280 --> 0:12:24.640 pretty much instant. 0:12:25.160 --> 0:12:27.800 And what about the concept of like when you feel 0:12:27.840 --> 0:12:31.080 a spark, it's almost like a warning signal or like 0:12:31.120 --> 0:12:32.800 a mirror of your childhood one. 0:12:32.679 --> 0:12:35.600 That's you, that's I don't feel that way really yeah, Or. 0:12:35.679 --> 0:12:37.520 You just have bad decisions. I mean, you know you 0:12:38.040 --> 0:12:40.680 like a bad type of person. And I shouldn't say bad, 0:12:40.760 --> 0:12:43.439 but I've said this on other podcasts. My mother had 0:12:43.480 --> 0:12:46.280 this big thing going. If that significant other than your 0:12:46.559 --> 0:12:48.800 person in your life doesn't make your life better, it's 0:12:48.840 --> 0:12:51.720 the wrong person. And it's pretty simple. They need to 0:12:51.720 --> 0:12:54.160 make your life better. Not that they're all about you, 0:12:54.200 --> 0:12:56.400 but your life is better because they're in your life. 0:12:56.480 --> 0:12:57.040 I agree with that. 0:12:57.040 --> 0:12:59.160 They also need to elevate you, Like we're really big 0:12:59.200 --> 0:12:59.560 on people. 0:12:59.559 --> 0:13:03.439 That fell instant connection thing is is really important because 0:13:03.480 --> 0:13:07.200 I think that there is an attraction that you have 0:13:07.320 --> 0:13:11.679 to have for them physically and you're feeling something emotionally 0:13:12.160 --> 0:13:15.880 and the adrenaline that comes from that you say, this 0:13:16.000 --> 0:13:18.840 is someone I want to spend some time with so 0:13:19.000 --> 0:13:22.319 ultimately yeah, and get to know. So from that perspective, 0:13:22.360 --> 0:13:26.559 I think it is important to have that initial attraction 0:13:26.760 --> 0:13:29.959 of Wow, this I'm feeling something right now. It's like 0:13:30.000 --> 0:13:32.559 an energy yes, totally, totally. 0:13:32.480 --> 0:13:34.960 Yeah, you know for me it's it's I would say 0:13:36.000 --> 0:13:39.720 that immediate. I would say that when I've had, you know, 0:13:39.760 --> 0:13:53.040 the really intense relationships, I know, within days. 0:13:54.320 --> 0:13:55.480 Okay, so how do you follow up? 0:13:55.480 --> 0:13:57.920 So you have you meet somebody you have this instant 0:13:57.920 --> 0:14:00.840 connection and chemistry, and I guess it's kind of interesting 0:14:00.880 --> 0:14:03.000 talking to you right now because you guys are both 0:14:03.080 --> 0:14:05.800 being sought after by many, right, so it might not 0:14:05.920 --> 0:14:08.480 be we haven't based i mean leveled out right, Not 0:14:08.559 --> 0:14:09.480 that you're ever going to level out. 0:14:09.480 --> 0:14:10.680 I'm sure it's just going to have the pick of 0:14:10.720 --> 0:14:12.040 the litter rocket. You have the pick of the letter 0:14:12.080 --> 0:14:14.960 right now. But at your age and our age. 0:14:15.200 --> 0:14:17.319 When you meet somebody and you like them right away, 0:14:17.600 --> 0:14:18.840 like do you come on strong? 0:14:18.960 --> 0:14:21.200 Do you play games? Do you you know what I mean? 0:14:21.280 --> 0:14:23.840 Way to customary three days before texting them, Like what's 0:14:23.840 --> 0:14:24.320 your approach? 0:14:25.080 --> 0:14:28.200 I think it's more natural where if I'm feeling the 0:14:28.400 --> 0:14:32.040 need to text or call and vice versas, so it's 0:14:32.040 --> 0:14:36.840 a two way street. And if I'm getting the age, yeah, yeah, 0:14:36.920 --> 0:14:38.720 the games as I mean, you're done. 0:14:39.680 --> 0:14:41.720 Nobody likes somebody who smiles you. I mean, let's just 0:14:41.760 --> 0:14:42.400 be honest. 0:14:42.160 --> 0:14:43.000 To right totally. 0:14:43.440 --> 0:14:46.160 Yeah, some people do and they want somebody. I know. 0:14:46.200 --> 0:14:48.120 I've got people in my life that they're my mother 0:14:48.280 --> 0:14:50.480 or husband. They took a trip for eighteen months. They 0:14:50.480 --> 0:14:51.480 were together every day. 0:14:51.520 --> 0:14:53.040 Oh my gosh, it's amazing. 0:14:52.680 --> 0:14:54.440 And their lives were just built around each other. But 0:14:54.480 --> 0:14:57.080 I think that's the exception or other people like Jonah 0:14:57.040 --> 0:14:58.520 and I we kind of like those three or four 0:14:58.560 --> 0:15:00.880 days where were we have a do our laundry. To 0:15:00.920 --> 0:15:02.800 not have that pressure when you get older, it's just 0:15:03.160 --> 0:15:04.160 I can do the things I need to. 0:15:04.280 --> 0:15:06.760 And we talk about that a lot, like not needing 0:15:06.840 --> 0:15:09.560 the twenty four to seven yeah, kind of day to day. 0:15:09.760 --> 0:15:11.640 But I think It's also different because if you have 0:15:11.720 --> 0:15:14.560 been single for a while or divorced or you know, 0:15:14.960 --> 0:15:17.240 on your own, you get used to your autonomy and 0:15:17.240 --> 0:15:20.600 your independence and then you want somebody. But it's like, 0:15:20.680 --> 0:15:23.560 how do you incorporate a significant other into your life? 0:15:24.040 --> 0:15:26.840 And I always have the question for people, like do 0:15:26.960 --> 0:15:30.760 you see it as a traditional relationship there? You want 0:15:30.760 --> 0:15:33.120 to be with somebody you know, live under the same roof, 0:15:33.200 --> 0:15:35.960 be with each other all the time, versus distance, versus 0:15:36.000 --> 0:15:38.680 a companion that you you know, kind of have your 0:15:38.720 --> 0:15:40.120 cake and eat it too. And I don't mean that 0:15:40.320 --> 0:15:43.320 in any salacious way. I just mean, like, what do 0:15:43.400 --> 0:15:43.880 you think on that? 0:15:44.120 --> 0:15:46.640 I think that's why you date. You spend time with people. Yeah, 0:15:46.720 --> 0:15:48.040 you know, it comes back to the smother and some 0:15:48.080 --> 0:15:51.080 people want contact all the time. Other people don't, and 0:15:51.120 --> 0:15:52.600 you spend that time with them. You go, this is 0:15:52.640 --> 0:15:55.000 what I'm comfortable, this is what I like in my life. 0:15:55.280 --> 0:15:56.920 And you could love somebody, but it's just the little 0:15:56.960 --> 0:15:58.000 things could push you apart. 0:15:58.280 --> 0:15:59.600 Yeah, totally, you know. 0:15:59.760 --> 0:16:02.480 As and as Chuck mentioned earlier about his mom and 0:16:02.520 --> 0:16:06.640 her husband at eighteen monthly, I think it's generationally that 0:16:06.680 --> 0:16:10.880 age group was more connected. Our age group is more 0:16:11.040 --> 0:16:14.920 I need a couple days every so often too recalibrate. 0:16:15.240 --> 0:16:18.360 To recalibrate, the younger group is like, we're going to 0:16:18.400 --> 0:16:19.480 text from a different building. 0:16:19.840 --> 0:16:21.920 I'm learning the game, so I'm going to play the game. 0:16:22.200 --> 0:16:24.080 I'm not going to reach out for three days. I'm 0:16:24.080 --> 0:16:27.240 not I can't call them within a certain period of time. 0:16:27.400 --> 0:16:31.680 So I think generationally it makes a difference at our age, right, 0:16:31.920 --> 0:16:33.160 that's a good point totally. 0:16:34.400 --> 0:16:36.880 I just think also at our age, like in terms 0:16:36.880 --> 0:16:39.640 of the spirit of no games, like what happens when 0:16:39.640 --> 0:16:42.440 you go out with somebody or on a date and 0:16:42.480 --> 0:16:45.240 you just to your point, you don't feel it right away? 0:16:45.600 --> 0:16:48.760 How do you kind of directly say, like I didn't 0:16:48.760 --> 0:16:51.520 feel a love connection or I mean, you're not gonna 0:16:51.520 --> 0:16:53.400 we're not going to got somebody at our age right 0:16:53.600 --> 0:16:54.360 direct please. 0:17:00.600 --> 0:17:04.240 I'll the last. I'll the last. You know, if I 0:17:04.280 --> 0:17:07.560 meet somebody and I'm not, you know, feeling the connection 0:17:07.760 --> 0:17:11.520 right away, I don't prolong it at all. I think 0:17:11.560 --> 0:17:14.280 it's a disservice to the other person too, you know, 0:17:14.280 --> 0:17:18.119 if they're developing emotional attachment to you and you're not 0:17:18.240 --> 0:17:20.560 to them. So I usually just say, you know, gosh. 0:17:21.080 --> 0:17:24.000 And most time they're really nice, you know, wonderful people, 0:17:24.359 --> 0:17:26.159 but you're just not feeling it. So I just you know, 0:17:26.200 --> 0:17:30.360 politely say, you know, I'm just exactly that you. 0:17:30.320 --> 0:17:31.640 Do it face to face. 0:17:32.920 --> 0:17:33.520 At this point. 0:17:33.640 --> 0:17:36.760 Not after one or two dates though, No, But I mean, oh, 0:17:37.280 --> 0:17:40.399 I'm saying one or two dates and to their. 0:17:40.240 --> 0:17:44.480 Face, I well, at least still on a telephone conversation, 0:17:44.560 --> 0:17:45.520 if not in their face. 0:17:45.720 --> 0:17:47.600 No, I'm not like, is it at the restaurant where 0:17:47.600 --> 0:17:48.080 you're like, you. 0:17:48.040 --> 0:17:51.520 Know, oh no, no, no, no, because you want to like, 0:17:51.560 --> 0:17:55.280 you know, kind of everything you know, think about. It's 0:17:55.320 --> 0:17:58.040 just but oftentimes I know, within. 0:17:57.880 --> 0:17:59.720 Fifteen minutes and you can kind of read the root. 0:17:59.760 --> 0:18:01.639 I mean think I've been on dates where I can 0:18:01.680 --> 0:18:03.480 tell maybe they're not into me or I'm not in 0:18:03.520 --> 0:18:05.159 I mean, we all can kind of pick up on 0:18:05.640 --> 0:18:06.960 the cues now, right, Yeah. 0:18:07.040 --> 0:18:08.679 So I think it's it's a lot of respect for 0:18:08.720 --> 0:18:10.720 the other person too, though, because I don't think you 0:18:10.760 --> 0:18:11.960 have a right to sit there and go I don't 0:18:12.000 --> 0:18:12.640 like you because of. 0:18:12.600 --> 0:18:13.240 This, right. 0:18:13.320 --> 0:18:16.000 Oh, And it's you know, sometimes you can ghost them sometimes, 0:18:16.080 --> 0:18:19.280 you know, and if you get ghosted, there's no interest. 0:18:19.880 --> 0:18:21.680 But I think treat people you want to treat it. 0:18:21.920 --> 0:18:23.120