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Speaker 1: Two hopeless daters, one dating app then dares you, guys.

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Speaker 2: Swipe right. The question is whose love life is more tragic.

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Speaker 3: It's Battle of the Tender Dates.

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Speaker 4: It's the dating game show that, like a limbo bar

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Speaker 4: is asking how low can your standards go?

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Speaker 3: Battle of the Tender Dates, where.

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Speaker 4: Two of our listeners go head to head to find

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Speaker 4: out whose love life is the most tragic. We'll explain

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Speaker 4: the rules in just a second, but first let's meet

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Speaker 4: today's contestants. In this corner, she doesn't like to talk

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Speaker 4: bad about her past relationships, but also isn't great with

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Speaker 4: the US constitution, So say hello to plead the aid

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Speaker 4: fase Jay.

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Speaker 1: I think I'm gonna win because I dated for real losers.

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Speaker 4: And in the other corner, her favorite type of kiss

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Speaker 4: is when you blindfold her, spin her around fifteen times,

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Speaker 4: then let her stumble as she tries to find your mouth.

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Speaker 4: That's why the boys call her Woozy Susie.

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Speaker 5: Just a lot of miss mouths, that's all it is,

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Speaker 5: all right.

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Speaker 3: This is how the game works.

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Speaker 4: We're gonna start with one of our contestants telling their

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Speaker 4: worst date stories. The other one try and counter with

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Speaker 4: the nightmare story of their own. We're gonna go back

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Speaker 4: and forth for three rounds until we declare a winner,

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Speaker 4: starting things off with plead the eighth faith, let's go Okay.

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Speaker 1: So I dated a guy. He said he was a

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Speaker 1: musician and that he wanted to play for me, and

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Speaker 1: then he pretended to play an air guitar. Oh, and

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Speaker 1: at first I laughed and I thought, oh, he's funny.

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Speaker 1: But then he kept going and explained he's a professional

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Speaker 1: air guitarist, and the worst part was he wanted to

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Speaker 1: finish the song and he kept getting mad at himself

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Speaker 1: because he was playing the wrong note and art all

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Speaker 1: over again.

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Speaker 3: Oh, I haven't tuned this thing.

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry.

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Speaker 5: That was a G flat.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it was excreution, hating.

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Speaker 3: Cancel when he's sick.

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Speaker 2: You know.

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Speaker 3: You counter all right?

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Speaker 2: So I showed up and the guy had on an

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Speaker 2: arm cast. So I asked what happened and he told

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Speaker 2: me it's from middle school, but the hottest girl in

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Speaker 2: his middle school signed it. So he glued it back

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Speaker 2: together and he wears it on dates for good luck.

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Speaker 5: My good luck cast filled with all his old dead

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Speaker 5: skin inside.

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Speaker 2: For that nasty yeah a stench.

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Speaker 5: I feel like I can smell it.

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Speaker 2: I didn't get close enough to find out.

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Speaker 3: You did.

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Speaker 4: You did sign it though, right, yeah, okay, we're on

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Speaker 4: to the second round here.

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Speaker 3: That means faith, we're back to you.

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Speaker 1: I went out lunch on a date to a very fancy

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Speaker 1: restaurant and he handed me a laminated menu that he

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Speaker 1: pulled out of his bag, and I was confused, and

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Speaker 1: he told me that he had already researched the place,

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Speaker 1: and he made up a menu of his own that

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Speaker 1: were pre proved in his price range, and none of

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Speaker 1: them were main dishes.

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Speaker 5: Gus, I know, he.

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Speaker 2: Was very cheap.

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Speaker 1: I still hooked up with him, but we.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, exactly, that's free. You can have as much of

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Speaker 5: that as you.

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Speaker 2: All right. So a guy was driving me home from dinner.

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Speaker 2: He rolled down his window and he stuck his tongue out.

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Speaker 2: He did it for ten minutes, like the whole timis

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Speaker 2: drive hanging out the window.

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Speaker 3: With his tongue.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, well exactly, so like we parked and I asked why,

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Speaker 2: and he told me that it's dull. Dogs can do it.

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Speaker 2: He can too.

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Speaker 5: I think the tongue thing cools dogs down with humans.

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Speaker 3: I hope he doesn't greet other people the same way.

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Speaker 3: Dogs do if dogs can do it, flies on the

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Speaker 3: way here. Yeah right, we are onto our third and

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Speaker 3: final round.

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Speaker 4: That means we need your best stories here, ladies, so

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Speaker 4: plead the eighth faith.

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Speaker 3: What have you got?

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Speaker 5: Okay?

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Speaker 1: I was at this guy's place and he kept using

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Speaker 1: his Alexa like an annoying amount, like Alexa, what what

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Speaker 1: year was that song? Or you know, what does that

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Speaker 1: word mean? And that was fine, but then he would

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Speaker 1: say like Alexa, what do you think about that? When

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Speaker 1: I would answer things, and it was starting to get ridiculous.

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Speaker 1: But we ended up kissing, and he asked Alexa to

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Speaker 1: make kissing noises in the background, and when I said,

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Speaker 1: why are you doing that? He said, well, Sosh doesn't

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Speaker 1: feel left out. Oh okay, this is really really weird.

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Speaker 1: So I just got up. I walked over like I

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Speaker 1: unplugged her, and then I went grabbed my purse and my.

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Speaker 5: Meg sounds like somebody's jealous.

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Speaker 2: Oh my gosh.

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Speaker 4: No, you were the third wheel on his date with

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Speaker 4: his Alexa's.

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Speaker 3: Like he has a back credit score.

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Speaker 4: Anyway, who's Susie?

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Speaker 3: This is your last chance?

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Speaker 2: Okay? So we went to this hidden Speak easy and yeah,

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Speaker 2: that was fun, like the entrance. Really isn't that hard.

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Speaker 2: It was a bookcase that you push to be fair.

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Speaker 2: I have already seen it on TikTok, so I knew okay,

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Speaker 2: but my date could not figure it out, like at all?

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Speaker 3: What do you mean he can't figure it out?

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Speaker 2: Like I asked, I was like, could I just show you?

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Speaker 2: And he snapped at me. He's like, I can solve it.

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Speaker 2: Then he's like pacing around thinking about how to open it,

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Speaker 2: like he super just regulated and I just winning without

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Speaker 2: him got a drink.

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Speaker 3: He just walked in.

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Speaker 2: Did he ever make it?

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Speaker 5: Did he ever crack the code?

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Speaker 4: Rumor has it he's still outside of that bookcase, pacing to.

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Speaker 3: This day to get in.

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Speaker 5: What book? Is it?

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Speaker 3: All right?

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Speaker 4: We got the final bell there that means the match

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Speaker 4: is over and we need to send this over to

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Speaker 4: judges to score it.

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Speaker 3: So alexis, who are you giving it? Chance?

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Speaker 4: And Susie for the guy with the nasty arm cast.

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Speaker 3: One vote for Susie Brooks.

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Speaker 5: I'm doing faith for her double date with Alexa.

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Speaker 4: We're all tied up, so Jo gets the final choice

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Speaker 4: and the arm cast.

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Speaker 3: Threw me off a cringe. Man, Susie, you win.

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Speaker 4: Congra woozy, Susie excited.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, because it's only up from here. Only up from here, Susie.

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Speaker 4: As a prize for your victory, Jose's phone tap character Belando,

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Speaker 4: will give you one unsolicited compliment. Jess, I love the

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Speaker 4: way your voice moves the oceans. Oh wow, the tie

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Speaker 4: tides right now, apparently because you sound so sexy.

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Speaker 5: She still there.

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Speaker 3: She sprints it away Context nine too.

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Speaker 4: If you want to appear on the next edition of

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Speaker 4: Battle of the Chinder dates your phone taps coming up

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Speaker 4: right after this.

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Speaker 5: Brook and Jeffrey in the morning