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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Samup, this is John. We're the ancient

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Speaker 1: two case Storytime podcast hosts, and we have some ancient

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Speaker 1: wisdom in the stories coming up. If you want to

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Speaker 1: hear the wisdom from two old heads that know more

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Speaker 1: than they know what to do with, you're go'da have

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Speaker 1: to wait for a quick message from our sponsors for

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Speaker 1: the next two minutes or so.

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Speaker 2: I refuse to attend any family wedding because they're always dramatic.

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Speaker 2: Yes they are, and this is from the Okay Storytime

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Speaker 2: super at it. So, being that I live in China,

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Speaker 2: I don't interact with my family too often and can

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Speaker 2: only visit less than once a year, So planning the

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Speaker 2: three week trip to visit those living in the Midwest, USA,

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Speaker 2: Florida and Europe takes a lot of planning and money.

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Speaker 2: Because of his wedding having a set date, I started

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Speaker 2: the trip in the Midwest so I could be there

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Speaker 2: to support my stepdad.

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Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from one done millennial, and

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Speaker 3: I was hoping it was you.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and if you want to spend your own stories,

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Speaker 2: good to the r slash Okay story Time.

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Speaker 3: So I bread it.

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Speaker 2: Last time I visited, I had been rather constrained on

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Speaker 2: what I could do as I didn't have a car

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Speaker 2: and depended on my stepdad to get around. Knowing he

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Speaker 2: would be busy with wedding stuff and wanting a bit

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Speaker 2: more freedom in the last time, I decided to rent

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Speaker 2: a car. Initially wanted to get one of the smallest

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Speaker 2: cheapest rentals I could get, as I figured it would

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Speaker 2: be mostly just me using it. However, my stepdad saw

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Speaker 2: this as an opportunity to upgrade to an SUV so

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Speaker 2: I could assist with transporting things to the wedding venue.

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Speaker 2: I will say that I stayed with them, but my

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Speaker 2: stepdad ands Iggy insisted I stay in their basement with

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Speaker 2: only a bed in a half bath in a very large, empty,

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Speaker 2: cold space, but trying to get a hotel would have

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Speaker 2: upset them. Olivia and her boyfriend would get to stay

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Speaker 2: in the very nice guest room on the second floor,

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Speaker 2: messed up for days. Leading up to the wedding, I

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Speaker 2: met Iggy for the second time, living in China their

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Speaker 2: whole relationship, and met her two teenage kids for the

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Speaker 2: first time. I also met all the relatives coming in

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Speaker 2: from out of state and overseas as they arrived, including

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Speaker 2: my second time meeting Olivia, who still lives in England

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Speaker 2: with her boyfriend. Olivia may have been my illegal aunt

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Speaker 2: for twenty five years, but I barely know the woman.

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Speaker 2: She got real comfortable, real quick though, and likes drink

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Speaker 2: and wine a lot. She got real comfortable one night

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Speaker 2: and started talking to me about some really not so

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Speaker 2: great topics in.

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Speaker 4: Front of me.

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Speaker 2: Oh God, I do my best to censor the topics

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Speaker 2: with a younger kid in the room, but after about

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Speaker 2: an hour, my stepdad pulls me aside to tell me

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Speaker 2: not to talk about such topics in front of Nick.

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Speaker 2: So Nick is someone's kid. I don't even bother trying

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Speaker 2: to correct him that it was his sister bringing up

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Speaker 2: the topics, because why would he believe me when he

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Speaker 2: literally never has his entire life so hurt feelings but

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Speaker 2: moved on as is normal in our family, because trying

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Speaker 2: to talk about it will just below.

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Speaker 3: Up in your face.

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Speaker 4: Hmmm.

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Speaker 2: After he's done scolding me, he casually drops that I

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Speaker 2: need to drive Olivia and our boyfriend to the airport

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Speaker 2: in the morning after the wedding.

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Speaker 4: Why and why is that.

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Speaker 2: The bachelor slash bachelorette parties were mostly chill well, I

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Speaker 2: think other than Beca crap talk and Frieda and Chad.

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Speaker 4: We don't know who those people are, but just there's friends.

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Speaker 2: So the day before the wedding, we all start loading

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Speaker 2: up all the cars with an f ton of decorations, booze,

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Speaker 2: and other things they need for a wedding. I guess

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Speaker 2: I still had some things to do before heading over

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Speaker 2: to the venue, so after they loaded up my car.

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Speaker 3: I took off and would meet them later.

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Speaker 2: It was only when I got in my car that

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Speaker 2: I realized they had loaded all of the booze into

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Speaker 2: my car in the front seat and some of them

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Speaker 2: were open.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I was a paranoid driver for the next three hours. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: I can't. Can't have open booze in a car while

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Speaker 3: you're driving.

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Speaker 2: So I finished my errands and stopped for lunch while

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Speaker 2: trying to look up directions to the venue on my

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Speaker 2: Chinese cell phone that likes to make it extremely difficult

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Speaker 2: in the US can't make any phone calls in Internet

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Speaker 2: was iffy at best. Iggy had told me they would

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Speaker 2: be leaving the house at about ten and the venue

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Speaker 2: was an hour and away. It was currently eleven thirty,

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Speaker 2: so I figured I should probably head over to the

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Speaker 2: Remember the bottles of booze in my front seat. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: they didn't tell me. The last twenty minutes of the

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Speaker 2: drive would be on gravel roads, so I had to

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Speaker 2: drive one handed to try to keep the bottles from

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Speaker 2: banging around too much. When I finally got there, I

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Speaker 2: started panicking that my phone took me to the wrong

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Speaker 2: place because.

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Speaker 3: No one else is there.

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Speaker 2: I managed to talk to a neighbor of the property

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Speaker 2: and I was at the right place, pointing at a

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Speaker 2: long house as the address I was looking for. So

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Speaker 2: I go to the house and try to punch in

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Speaker 2: the code my stepdad gave me for the doors, and

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Speaker 2: it doesn't work on any of them. So again freaking

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Speaker 2: out as I can't call anyone day. Ten minutes later,

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Speaker 2: Iggy arrived with Mia Nick and her sister. Turns out

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Speaker 2: my stepdad gave me the code for the lodging I

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Speaker 2: would be staying at, which was a ten minute drive away.

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Speaker 2: But this is where Iggy's kids would be staying with

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Speaker 2: their grandma and Lee's girlfriend. It was a really cute

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Speaker 2: longhouse divided in three hotel like suits, three bathroom, the

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Speaker 2: three bedrooms and two pull up beds, really nice place.

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Speaker 2: We all get started on setting up and decorating the venue,

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Speaker 2: and it is twenty more minutes before others start trickling

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Speaker 2: into help. Eventually there are a good number of people,

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Speaker 2: but I was there from the start, all in boxes

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Speaker 2: of drinks, moving tables and chairs, setting up games, folding

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Speaker 2: napkins to look fancy, et cetera.

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Speaker 3: I am a sweaty mess. I have been doing all of.

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Speaker 2: This for about two hours when my stepdad comes up

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Speaker 2: to me very casually and says, I put an air

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Speaker 2: mattress next to your car.

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Speaker 3: You can set it up in your cabin to sleep

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Speaker 3: on tonight.

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Speaker 2: What dude, The accommodations that they're giving you are terrible.

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Speaker 2: So we got a basement with like no shower, it seems,

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Speaker 2: and now we got a blow up mattress in a room.

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Speaker 4: Why are they doing this when they clearly are giving

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Speaker 4: real accommodations to others.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and you're doing a lot of work right. This

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Speaker 2: is how I find out I won't even have a

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Speaker 2: bed tonight. We finally finished setting up, with not one

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Speaker 2: of my siblings or Iggy's three adult children showing up

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Speaker 2: to help. I'm tired, and there are a few hours

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Speaker 2: before family game night before the wedding, so I get

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Speaker 2: to go see the cabin and set up my bed.

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Speaker 2: Stepdad drives ahead of me to show me the way

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Speaker 2: as my phone is zero signal. Here we are in

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Speaker 2: the middle of nowhere, and if he hadn't been there,

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Speaker 2: I might have screamed in frustration when I saw the

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Speaker 2: dang thing, especially after the tour.

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Speaker 3: But he's looking through it like, oh, this is nice,

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Speaker 3: so cozy. Bruh, bruh.

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Speaker 2: This cabin was the most redneck hunting cabin you ever

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Speaker 2: did see. Just to note, the people that are expected

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Speaker 2: to stay in this cabin are myself, Becca with her

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Speaker 2: boyfriend and boyfriend's son, Chad with Frida and his son,

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Speaker 2: David with Helen, and Allie with her boyfriend. Okay, in

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Speaker 2: case you didn't count, that was eleven people in this cabin.

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Speaker 2: There are four queen size beds. As my stepdad propose,

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Speaker 2: we sleep Chad and Frida in the main bedroom with

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Speaker 2: my nephew on the sofa since it's closest to the bathroom.

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Speaker 2: David and Helen share the room above the main room

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Speaker 2: with Becca and her boyfriend, as there are two queens

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Speaker 2: up there with another sofa for boyfriend's sen Ellie and

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Speaker 2: her boyfriend will get the nook bed above the dining

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Speaker 2: room that requires climbing a ladder to get up to it,

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Speaker 2: and I moved the dining room table and chairs to

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Speaker 2: set up my air mattress in the middle of the

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Speaker 2: dining room. If you didn't catch it, I only mentioned

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Speaker 2: one bathroom because there was only one bathroom.

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Speaker 4: How long are we here for?

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Speaker 2: If you all thought this was the worst of it,

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Speaker 2: buckle In. Turns out the air mattress was the most

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Speaker 2: comfortable of the beds, as they were so soft you

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Speaker 2: were in the mattress instead of on the mattress. But

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Speaker 2: it gets worse, okay, so so accidental win for you.

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Speaker 2: This is a redneck cabin, so of course it has

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Speaker 2: deerheads and other strange decorations everywhere.

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Speaker 3: But it also is a tin roof under an acorn tree.

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Speaker 4: God, oh god, no, it's like a little like a gunshot.

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Speaker 4: The grenades going off of the roof randomly, the wind blows,

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Speaker 4: everyone wakes up.

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Speaker 2: In case you have been privileged enough to never heard

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Speaker 2: the sound of an acorn falling on a tin roof,

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Speaker 2: it sounds like gunshots. Every two to five minutes the

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Speaker 2: entire time we were there. At Family Game Night, my

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Speaker 2: siblings finally all show up and I get to meet Jack, Kevin,

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Speaker 2: and Lee for the first time. I try to be friendly,

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Speaker 2: but apparently I'm a weird old lady because after saying I,

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Speaker 2: it felt like they did their best to avoid me

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Speaker 2: the rest of the wedding.

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Speaker 3: Now I have.

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Speaker 4: A capsicin cap sayisin, caps sayasin, what's that? What makes

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Speaker 4: spicy food hot?

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Speaker 2: Whoa cap saysin, I've never heard that word before, and

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Speaker 2: now you have allergy. That means I cannot eat anything

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Speaker 2: even remotely spicy, including black pepper, onions, garlic, cinnamon, et cetera.

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Speaker 2: It sucks, but it keeps me from feeling ill. Twenty

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Speaker 2: four to seven to avoid those foods. What have my

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Speaker 2: stepdad in Iggy order for a at Family Game Night?

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Speaker 2: If you guessed Mexican food, you get a star.

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Speaker 4: Well, you can eat chips.

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Speaker 2: You can eat some chips and guac under air mattress.

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Speaker 2: I end up having to pick up some plane chips

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Speaker 2: with lettuce, sour cream, and cheese because I can't eat

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Speaker 2: anything else there. But at least I got to eat

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Speaker 2: something because turns out they didn't order enough for everyone,

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Speaker 2: and anyone a little late like Ellie could only pick

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Speaker 2: out a few items left over. Turns out my stepdad

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Speaker 2: had known they didn't order enough because he had warned

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Speaker 2: my siblings not to be late or there might not

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Speaker 2: be food. David and Helen didn't like that and ate

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Speaker 2: before they came. Smart move, Yeah, I'm sorry, what don't

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Speaker 2: come later?

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Speaker 3: There might not be food? Order more food.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, It's like, how are we this bad at coordinat.

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Speaker 2: Skipping to everyone trying to sleep that night with eleven people,

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Speaker 2: it's chaos and so it's obviously very difficult to put

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Speaker 2: the two under ten boys to bed on sofas with

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Speaker 2: everything going on in the cabin. David and hell Ellan

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Speaker 2: are worried about how soft the beds are. Well, I'm

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Speaker 2: worried about having to sleep under a deer head, so

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Speaker 2: we decide to switch beds.

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Speaker 3: No, but your bed was the best.

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Speaker 2: We all sleep horribly, but find out in the morning

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Speaker 2: that David and Helen have given up and went home

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Speaker 2: at three a m.

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Speaker 3: Valid me.

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Speaker 2: I don't know if it was Ellie or David, but

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Speaker 2: someone had thrown a towel over the dear head, so

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Speaker 2: it would stop looking at them. In the morning, nine

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Speaker 2: of us are sleep deprived and trying to go for

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Speaker 2: brunch before we attempt to get ready for a wedding

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Speaker 2: with only one bathroom I mean hotel, next time hotel.

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Speaker 2: It was at the brunch that I found out we

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Speaker 2: were supposed to be in a cabin with a pool,

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Speaker 2: so the others had brought swimsuits, but there was no pool.

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Speaker 2: We got a text from Olivia about going over to

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Speaker 2: their cabin for their pool party.

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Speaker 4: All of us.

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Speaker 2: Agreed that if our stepdad had told us, we would

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Speaker 2: have given him money to find us a better place

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Speaker 2: to say, because apparently everyone else got really nice places

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Speaker 2: to stay. Only Allie decided to stay at the second

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Speaker 2: night in the cabin. The rest of us would be leaving.

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Speaker 2: Ellie is maybe brave or foolish, Yeah, I don't know.

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Speaker 2: David and Helen went over to the Long House to

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Speaker 2: get ready with Jack and Kevin, so we met them

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Speaker 2: back at the venue. The wedding was fine, but Ellie

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Speaker 2: was very not happy that all of Iggy's kids had

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Speaker 2: reserved seats at the front while we were told to

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Speaker 2: sit wherever. This was made even worse when only Mia

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Speaker 2: and Nick are mentioned in the wedding vows. Even Lee

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00:11:24,400 --> 00:11:27,640
Speaker 2: later voiced some disapproval at this. I think that was

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Speaker 2: her final straw, and she only recently started talking again

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Speaker 2: to her dad, my stepdad a few weeks ago. After

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Speaker 2: the ceremony, I told my stepdad I won't be able

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Speaker 2: to drive Olivia and our boyfriend to the airport because

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Speaker 2: I can't stay in the cabin another night, or I

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Speaker 2: won't be able to drive at all from sleep deprivation.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, good on you.

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Speaker 2: He is very upset and says, I'm really putting I'm

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Speaker 2: gonna bind with this, but I put my foot down

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Speaker 2: this time as.

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Speaker 3: It is really not safe. Yeah, I mean, like, also

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Speaker 3: just be like, well, you put me in a hellscape.

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Speaker 4: So yeah, it's like, well, maybe you should and have

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00:12:00,679 --> 00:12:03,199
Speaker 4: booked us the worst possible place to stay.

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Speaker 2: The solution they want me to sleep on the sofa

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Speaker 2: in Olivia's cabin, better than the acorns on the tin roof,

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Speaker 2: I guess, but a sofa. The wedding continues for some

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Speaker 2: time when Olivia comes up to me and tells me

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Speaker 2: one of my stepdad's friends can drive them to the

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Speaker 2: airport in the morning so I can go back to

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Speaker 2: my stepdad's house and get a proper night sleep in

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Speaker 2: a real bed. It should probably also be noted that

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Speaker 2: I am not fully over my jet leg as well.

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Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, just freaking flew from China.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Remember I only arrived from China just five days before.

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Speaker 2: I go find the friend and thank him profusely. Other

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00:12:37,520 --> 00:12:40,079
Speaker 2: than Beca trying to get Chad and Frieda to give

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Speaker 2: her her dog back, the one they had been taken

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Speaker 2: care of for like three years at this point, and

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Speaker 2: she had only had for like six months before she

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Speaker 2: gave it to them.

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Speaker 1: Wow.

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Speaker 3: The rest of the wedding went about as well as.

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Speaker 2: Ah could be expected in redneck, middle of nowhere midwestern USA.

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Speaker 2: All my siblings were absolutely livid with my stepdad for weeks,

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Speaker 2: with Ellie holding the longest grudge. I didn't really care

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Speaker 2: at that point because to me, this was all just

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Speaker 2: par for the course of how pretty much the entire

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Speaker 2: family treats me anyways. I always bring back gifts and

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Speaker 2: treat each family member to a meal whenever I visit,

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Speaker 2: But I haven't received a single gift from any of

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Speaker 2: my family members besides my dad in about twelve years.

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Speaker 2: I can deal with them all much better since I

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Speaker 2: live on the other side of the globe and only

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Speaker 2: have to deal with their bs from time to time.

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Speaker 2: With an entire ocean plus very large land masses on

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Speaker 2: each side between us, I've always had to be the

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Speaker 2: understanding one of the siblings, so I got a small

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Speaker 2: amount of petty revenge by comforting each of my siblings

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Speaker 2: and stepdad by trying to help them understand where the

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Speaker 2: other was coming from. Like to my siblings, it was

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Speaker 2: all about how my stepdad's original venue canceled on them

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Speaker 2: three months before the wedding, so they had to put

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Speaker 2: this together last minute and probably couldn't find a better

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Speaker 2: place for us. What or maybe it was all our

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Speaker 2: stepdad could afford while paid for the long house for

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Speaker 2: own kids.

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Speaker 4: Three months is not last minute.

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Speaker 2: Now to my stepdad, I just gently explained how the

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00:14:07,840 --> 00:14:10,319
Speaker 2: cabin was more than a little problematic. You can get

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00:14:10,360 --> 00:14:12,920
Speaker 2: closer to us if you listen to full episodes of

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00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:16,720
Speaker 2: stories just like this. Just go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts,

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Speaker 2: or iHeartRadio and search a Pokes story time. Family get

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Speaker 2: togethers are nothing but drama, and weddings are extended family

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Speaker 2: get together so the drama tripples from now on no,

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Speaker 2: thank you to all weddings. I'm good if I do

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Speaker 2: have a future husband out there somewhere. We're doing what

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Speaker 2: Chad and Heidi did, which is going to get a

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00:14:33,640 --> 00:14:36,560
Speaker 2: piece of paper at the courthouse. First time all five

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Speaker 2: of us siblings were in a room together in eight years,

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Speaker 2: and I'm a little surprised that we all survived.

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Speaker 3: Here we go, uh and that is the end of

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Speaker 3: that story.

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Speaker 2: Thank you one millennial for sharing your story, and I

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Speaker 2: hope that you get some sleep.

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Speaker 4: My family treated me unfairly, but I'm better off without them.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that's the truth.

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Speaker 4: Twenty eight Mail started working for the family business a

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Speaker 4: few years ago. They had no online presence or know

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Speaker 4: how on how to market themselves properly. I ended up

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00:15:09,760 --> 00:15:11,880
Speaker 4: having to make them a Facebook page and update all

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Speaker 4: their services to include everything they know how to do.

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Speaker 4: By the way, this comes from user just Winner eighty

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Speaker 4: three seventy nine. And if you want to submit your

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Speaker 4: own stories, go to the r slash Okay storytime subburn it.

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Speaker 4: So before that, they just cut grass and hedges. My dad,

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Speaker 4: let's call him Dan uh always complained that nobody paid

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Speaker 4: correctly for cutting grass. Well, Dan would say, they want

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Speaker 4: me to cut this lawn that takes all day with

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Speaker 4: three people, and they want to pay me pennies. So

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Speaker 4: I got tired of listening to Dan complain and decided

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Speaker 4: to take over. Dan would literally yell at the top

341
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Speaker 4: of his lungs about it. I asked Dan, so what

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Speaker 4: do you know how to do? Dan would tell me,

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Speaker 4: and I would put that on his page. I would

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00:15:54,440 --> 00:15:56,880
Speaker 4: even upload all of Dan's photos when he would actually

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00:15:56,920 --> 00:15:59,320
Speaker 4: take some. And I then set up a Google page

346
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Speaker 4: for the business and changed the name to make it

347
00:16:01,720 --> 00:16:05,360
Speaker 4: sound more appealing than just Dan and Son's Landscaping Services,

348
00:16:05,600 --> 00:16:08,840
Speaker 4: and got him new insurance for the business. Brother, you're

349
00:16:08,840 --> 00:16:11,840
Speaker 4: doing too much now, Yeah, I got new insurance for

350
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Speaker 4: the business. My brother, let's call him Andrew worked for

351
00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:18,400
Speaker 4: the company too. My grandmother Diana was involved as well.

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Speaker 4: Getting the insurance was a pain because Diana was stuck

353
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Speaker 4: in her ways, as was Dan. Needless to say, they

354
00:16:25,040 --> 00:16:28,160
Speaker 4: didn't like change. I also, at that time took on

355
00:16:28,200 --> 00:16:31,320
Speaker 4: the mantle of making an area list for advertising and

356
00:16:31,360 --> 00:16:33,760
Speaker 4: setting it up on Facebook so we could run ads,

357
00:16:33,800 --> 00:16:36,000
Speaker 4: which I did as well. I even made flyers for

358
00:16:36,040 --> 00:16:38,080
Speaker 4: the company. It was hard at first for everything to

359
00:16:38,120 --> 00:16:40,720
Speaker 4: get approved but in the end it did. The changes

360
00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:44,120
Speaker 4: helped the company become more profitable, even with the constant

361
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Speaker 4: screw ups.

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Speaker 3: Okay, so maybe they didn't really have like an official

363
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Speaker 3: name yet.

364
00:16:47,800 --> 00:16:50,040
Speaker 4: I ended up having to take on the estimate side

365
00:16:50,080 --> 00:16:52,280
Speaker 4: of things too. I would go with Dad and write

366
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Speaker 4: stuff down then help him figure it out later on.

367
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Speaker 4: I didn't get paid for any of this, by the way,

368
00:16:57,040 --> 00:16:59,040
Speaker 4: and to be honest, I should have. I would only

369
00:16:59,040 --> 00:17:02,000
Speaker 4: get paid commission and leadless to say, I was extremely

370
00:17:02,080 --> 00:17:06,720
Speaker 4: undervalued at the company. Buddy, I think that's your fault. Yeah.

371
00:17:07,200 --> 00:17:10,000
Speaker 4: The commission Dan would pay me would always be crap.

372
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Speaker 4: Dan would get like a thousand dollars job and give

373
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Speaker 4: me twenty bucks, which is that's absurd. Dan would tell me,

374
00:17:17,320 --> 00:17:19,320
Speaker 4: since you live with me, I'll take out the rest

375
00:17:19,359 --> 00:17:22,240
Speaker 4: for living expenses. That is, if I got paid at all.

376
00:17:22,720 --> 00:17:24,879
Speaker 4: I would have to then save up for anything I

377
00:17:24,880 --> 00:17:27,280
Speaker 4: wanted to buy. And it was a real struggle. I

378
00:17:27,320 --> 00:17:29,879
Speaker 4: worked that job like seven days a week most times.

379
00:17:30,160 --> 00:17:31,760
Speaker 4: It didn't really let me have a life. Now that

380
00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:35,200
Speaker 4: I think about it, how old were you during this, No,

381
00:17:35,480 --> 00:17:38,520
Speaker 4: I need to know that the job started to get annoying.

382
00:17:38,920 --> 00:17:41,320
Speaker 4: I would sometimes have to call Dan fifty times for

383
00:17:41,400 --> 00:17:42,840
Speaker 4: him to pick up if he was late to an

384
00:17:42,880 --> 00:17:45,240
Speaker 4: appointment or a customer had an issue, and I would

385
00:17:45,240 --> 00:17:48,080
Speaker 4: then have no clue how to solve the customer's issue.

386
00:17:48,280 --> 00:17:50,560
Speaker 4: Dan would also have me call for getting a price

387
00:17:50,600 --> 00:17:53,040
Speaker 4: on all the materials for jobs, but I would sometimes

388
00:17:53,080 --> 00:17:55,200
Speaker 4: have no clue what type of material it would be.

389
00:17:55,680 --> 00:17:58,159
Speaker 4: Dan sometimes had an issue with being specific on what

390
00:17:58,240 --> 00:18:00,520
Speaker 4: he needed. It got to the point where when he

391
00:18:00,520 --> 00:18:03,560
Speaker 4: didn't answer, I would either reschedule or bs the customer.

392
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:06,840
Speaker 4: Dan would also change his mind a lot. Dan would

393
00:18:06,840 --> 00:18:08,920
Speaker 4: tell me, oh, book it for tomorrow morning, then get

394
00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:11,000
Speaker 4: upset in the morning that he had an appointment at

395
00:18:11,080 --> 00:18:13,080
Speaker 4: eight am. He was a real piece of work to

396
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Speaker 4: be honest to deal with when it came to work.

397
00:18:16,240 --> 00:18:18,600
Speaker 4: I'm guessing super young is the age, because it sounds

398
00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:20,640
Speaker 4: like this is their first exposure to having a joke

399
00:18:20,680 --> 00:18:23,400
Speaker 4: it up. Yeah, it's not super young. What dude having

400
00:18:23,400 --> 00:18:24,640
Speaker 4: a job's annoyance A lot?

401
00:18:24,800 --> 00:18:26,400
Speaker 1: Twenty eight mail is op.

402
00:18:26,760 --> 00:18:28,760
Speaker 3: But then they started working for the family business a

403
00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:29,720
Speaker 3: few years ago.

404
00:18:29,800 --> 00:18:32,840
Speaker 4: Dan my father also had a habit of hiring some

405
00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:34,320
Speaker 4: terrible workers.

406
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Speaker 3: Yay.

407
00:18:37,720 --> 00:18:40,359
Speaker 4: They had issues with waking up. They had issues with

408
00:18:40,440 --> 00:18:43,240
Speaker 4: doing the job correctly. They had issues with breaking things,

409
00:18:43,560 --> 00:18:47,280
Speaker 4: customer stuff, company stuff. They would steal from the company, Yes,

410
00:18:47,320 --> 00:18:51,840
Speaker 4: and one even had a habit of partaking in substances

411
00:18:51,840 --> 00:18:52,720
Speaker 4: on the job site.

412
00:18:52,760 --> 00:18:56,960
Speaker 2: Why wow, seems really not beneficial to keep them on.

413
00:18:57,320 --> 00:19:01,520
Speaker 4: Finally, one impersonated the company took money from a customer

414
00:19:01,560 --> 00:19:04,159
Speaker 4: and never did the work. Dan ended up having to

415
00:19:04,160 --> 00:19:06,800
Speaker 4: do it for free. Each time. Dan let them get

416
00:19:06,920 --> 00:19:09,520
Speaker 4: over on him and never did anything, just complain for

417
00:19:09,600 --> 00:19:11,760
Speaker 4: weeks on end. Well, he's probably waiting for you to

418
00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:14,760
Speaker 4: take care of it at this point. Dan also had

419
00:19:14,800 --> 00:19:18,040
Speaker 4: issues with customers too. This one guy he constantly worked

420
00:19:18,040 --> 00:19:20,680
Speaker 4: for would always pay him way less than the job

421
00:19:20,800 --> 00:19:23,359
Speaker 4: was worth, and Dan would always complain about him, but

422
00:19:23,880 --> 00:19:26,680
Speaker 4: whenever he called, Dan dropped everything to help the guy out.

423
00:19:27,119 --> 00:19:30,000
Speaker 4: I never understood it. Dan would also let customers owe

424
00:19:30,040 --> 00:19:33,119
Speaker 4: him thousands, never send them anything or do anything about it.

425
00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:35,760
Speaker 4: Let's just say Dan was a real pushover and the

426
00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:38,600
Speaker 4: company suffered for it. Yeah, Dan, it's time to send

427
00:19:38,600 --> 00:19:40,920
Speaker 4: an invoice. People owe you thousands of dollars.

428
00:19:41,160 --> 00:19:43,240
Speaker 3: Get your money, man, so they can pay your workers.

429
00:19:43,800 --> 00:19:46,680
Speaker 4: Dan would also at times give customers the wrong price

430
00:19:46,680 --> 00:19:48,400
Speaker 4: who were telling me the wrong price and would try

431
00:19:48,400 --> 00:19:49,199
Speaker 4: to fix it later on.

432
00:19:49,359 --> 00:19:51,320
Speaker 2: Oh, he's like, it's twenty dollars, and he's like, why

433
00:19:51,320 --> 00:19:52,760
Speaker 2: are they paying me twenty dollars?

434
00:19:52,840 --> 00:19:55,400
Speaker 4: A lot of times it didn't really work and Dan

435
00:19:55,440 --> 00:19:58,960
Speaker 4: would be stuck eating the work. Dan would say why

436
00:19:59,040 --> 00:20:02,439
Speaker 4: didn't you give them that price yet I wasn't ready.

437
00:20:02,560 --> 00:20:04,960
Speaker 4: I would say, well, you had just said that was

438
00:20:05,040 --> 00:20:07,119
Speaker 4: the price, so I gave it to them. They've been

439
00:20:07,160 --> 00:20:09,240
Speaker 4: waiting for the price for two weeks. Remember it's the

440
00:20:09,240 --> 00:20:11,720
Speaker 4: second week of January, and you saw it around Christmas time.

441
00:20:12,080 --> 00:20:15,560
Speaker 4: That was constantly an issue. Dan ended up developing a

442
00:20:15,640 --> 00:20:19,200
Speaker 4: substance problem and the business ended up suffering for it.

443
00:20:19,680 --> 00:20:21,360
Speaker 4: Dan would mess stuff up and have to come back

444
00:20:21,359 --> 00:20:24,560
Speaker 4: and fix it constantly. Andrew would constantly have to fix

445
00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:27,719
Speaker 4: his mistakes. It got annoying. Dan would leave the job

446
00:20:28,119 --> 00:20:30,399
Speaker 4: with his girlfriend just so they could get their fix

447
00:20:30,480 --> 00:20:33,119
Speaker 4: and not return for hours. The customer would always be

448
00:20:33,240 --> 00:20:35,480
Speaker 4: up my butt about it. It got to the point

449
00:20:35,520 --> 00:20:38,360
Speaker 4: where Andrew and I were basically running the whole company night.

450
00:20:38,600 --> 00:20:41,480
Speaker 4: Andrew paid well at first, but got greedy. Look for

451
00:20:41,520 --> 00:20:44,520
Speaker 4: a previous post to see all about that. Now to

452
00:20:44,600 --> 00:20:49,719
Speaker 4: the personal stuff Dan had issues with being emotionally manipulative,

453
00:20:49,800 --> 00:20:53,200
Speaker 4: and would lie to your face constantly. Sounds like problem

454
00:20:53,359 --> 00:20:56,280
Speaker 4: is just tons of issues. Tell everyone your business, even

455
00:20:56,280 --> 00:20:59,119
Speaker 4: if it was personal, makeup stories about you always bringing

456
00:20:59,119 --> 00:21:01,800
Speaker 4: stuff up just to call drama, even if stuff happened

457
00:21:01,880 --> 00:21:04,880
Speaker 4: years ago. Would also talk behind your back and lie

458
00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:08,080
Speaker 4: when caught about it. Would always make messes, get in trouble,

459
00:21:08,080 --> 00:21:10,000
Speaker 4: and I'd have to clean them up. He was also

460
00:21:10,160 --> 00:21:13,840
Speaker 4: a closeted bigot and homophobic. Dan would always be rate

461
00:21:13,880 --> 00:21:15,960
Speaker 4: me to clean, but Andrew never had to clean anything.

462
00:21:15,960 --> 00:21:19,720
Speaker 4: The house was always messy because Andrew and Dan both

463
00:21:20,040 --> 00:21:23,720
Speaker 4: did not clean, Like dog poop and new pee all.

464
00:21:23,640 --> 00:21:26,960
Speaker 3: Over the house. Yeah, that's not just stop cleaning.

465
00:21:27,040 --> 00:21:30,840
Speaker 2: That's like like Lily in Tilt neglect of the dog too.

466
00:21:30,920 --> 00:21:31,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, let the.

467
00:21:31,840 --> 00:21:36,639
Speaker 4: Dogs outside doing dishes. Were constantly in the sink, the

468
00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:39,639
Speaker 4: oven was dirty, et cetera, et cetera. So I would

469
00:21:39,640 --> 00:21:41,679
Speaker 4: have to work for the company all those hours and

470
00:21:41,720 --> 00:21:44,040
Speaker 4: still be expected to clean. They'd be like, you just

471
00:21:44,040 --> 00:21:46,840
Speaker 4: sat around answering phones and stuff. Why can't you clean

472
00:21:46,840 --> 00:21:50,159
Speaker 4: our messes? Why are we still living here, why are

473
00:21:50,200 --> 00:21:51,480
Speaker 4: we still business?

474
00:21:51,480 --> 00:21:52,560
Speaker 3: Stop working for them.

475
00:21:53,200 --> 00:21:55,920
Speaker 2: Take your skills where they're appreciated and get some real

476
00:21:55,960 --> 00:21:58,560
Speaker 2: money and get a get a different house.

477
00:21:58,840 --> 00:22:01,960
Speaker 4: Dan would constantly be in trouble with the city. Dan

478
00:22:02,119 --> 00:22:04,159
Speaker 4: liked to leave his tools all over the yard and porch.

479
00:22:04,359 --> 00:22:07,800
Speaker 4: Dan would get threatened with fines about it constantly. Dan

480
00:22:07,840 --> 00:22:09,639
Speaker 4: would cuss me out if I didn't clean it, and

481
00:22:09,640 --> 00:22:11,800
Speaker 4: Andrew would say, what do you really do around here?

482
00:22:12,119 --> 00:22:15,320
Speaker 4: You can clean it, oh, I only lifted the whole

483
00:22:15,320 --> 00:22:18,240
Speaker 4: business up off the ground for y'all and continue to clean.

484
00:22:18,560 --> 00:22:21,000
Speaker 4: They would get upset if I refused to clean it

485
00:22:21,160 --> 00:22:23,840
Speaker 4: or complained about it. Dan also had a tendency to

486
00:22:23,840 --> 00:22:25,840
Speaker 4: cuss you out and then five seconds later ask you

487
00:22:25,880 --> 00:22:27,840
Speaker 4: to do something for them. You know that type of

488
00:22:27,840 --> 00:22:31,199
Speaker 4: emotional manipulation, like why didn't you cook for us? You

489
00:22:31,240 --> 00:22:33,679
Speaker 4: were here all day? Then can you get me some

490
00:22:33,800 --> 00:22:37,120
Speaker 4: tea and take off my work shoes. Dan would constantly

491
00:22:37,160 --> 00:22:40,520
Speaker 4: lose his phone too, and would complain if I didn't

492
00:22:40,520 --> 00:22:43,760
Speaker 4: help him look for it. I would always be setting

493
00:22:43,840 --> 00:22:45,960
Speaker 4: up a new phone for him, either losing it or

494
00:22:46,040 --> 00:22:49,760
Speaker 4: him breaking it. Dan would be nice, maybe once a

495
00:22:49,840 --> 00:22:51,560
Speaker 4: day or so, and be like, do you want anything

496
00:22:51,560 --> 00:22:54,280
Speaker 4: from the store, or ask if you needed to go anywhere,

497
00:22:54,280 --> 00:22:56,840
Speaker 4: and needed money for it, Dan would pay for it,

498
00:22:56,960 --> 00:22:59,520
Speaker 4: not ask for it back. I do not know if

499
00:22:59,520 --> 00:23:02,879
Speaker 4: this was part of his manipulation or not. Dan was

500
00:23:02,880 --> 00:23:06,200
Speaker 4: constantly losing stuff, but the workers didn't help that situation either.

501
00:23:06,680 --> 00:23:09,080
Speaker 4: They would leave stuff outside and I would have to

502
00:23:09,119 --> 00:23:10,760
Speaker 4: help him bring it in from the rain, or just

503
00:23:10,840 --> 00:23:14,600
Speaker 4: leave that stuff wherever. I would constantly hear him complaining,

504
00:23:14,960 --> 00:23:19,919
Speaker 4: and all of it eventually gave me PTSD. Yeah, if

505
00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:22,119
Speaker 4: Dan couldn't find it right away, Dan would jump to

506
00:23:22,240 --> 00:23:24,680
Speaker 4: someone must have stolen it. Most of the time, it

507
00:23:24,680 --> 00:23:27,840
Speaker 4: would appear later unless it was left at the job

508
00:23:28,000 --> 00:23:29,280
Speaker 4: or was indeed stolen it.

509
00:23:29,359 --> 00:23:30,800
Speaker 3: It was like someone must have stolen it.

510
00:23:31,160 --> 00:23:33,640
Speaker 4: Dan would also let our landlords walk all over us.

511
00:23:33,800 --> 00:23:36,720
Speaker 4: Dan would never hold them accountable to fix anything. Okay,

512
00:23:36,760 --> 00:23:39,280
Speaker 4: so at some point, folks, we have to just go.

513
00:23:39,359 --> 00:23:43,160
Speaker 4: You know what, Dan, I'm I'm I'm over, I'm I'm

514
00:23:43,160 --> 00:23:47,600
Speaker 4: superseding you Dan. I'm taking it upon myself. Dan, I'm

515
00:23:47,640 --> 00:23:51,080
Speaker 4: gonna do all of this. Dan, And oh see, I'm

516
00:23:51,119 --> 00:23:55,200
Speaker 4: just out, like leave, then pay yourself. I think Dan's

517
00:23:55,200 --> 00:23:57,000
Speaker 4: so absent at the wheel. You just go, and you

518
00:23:57,000 --> 00:23:59,160
Speaker 4: know what, I'm gonna give myself a bonus Dan, I'm

519
00:23:59,160 --> 00:24:01,720
Speaker 4: gonna increase my set, Dan, And why don't you just

520
00:24:01,800 --> 00:24:04,320
Speaker 4: go go stop it. Let me take care of the

521
00:24:04,359 --> 00:24:06,640
Speaker 4: whole business, and I'll get You'll get paid the exact

522
00:24:06,680 --> 00:24:09,120
Speaker 4: same amount, and I'll get paid more. Just shut up,

523
00:24:09,320 --> 00:24:12,600
Speaker 4: leave us alone, go away. This's my business now, Dang.

524
00:24:13,160 --> 00:24:14,520
Speaker 4: I I what he wants.

525
00:24:14,680 --> 00:24:16,640
Speaker 2: But yeah, but I feel like you just can't get

526
00:24:16,680 --> 00:24:19,960
Speaker 2: anything out of this business. I feel you gotta get

527
00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:21,040
Speaker 2: like you gotta leave.

528
00:24:21,359 --> 00:24:23,879
Speaker 4: Dan would let our landlords walk all over us as well.

529
00:24:24,080 --> 00:24:26,159
Speaker 4: Dan would never hold them accountable to fix anything, and

530
00:24:26,200 --> 00:24:29,080
Speaker 4: I would constantly have to deal with broken things. When

531
00:24:29,119 --> 00:24:31,719
Speaker 4: time we had mice and the landlord wouldn't deal with it.

532
00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:34,240
Speaker 4: Another time we moved into a place with black mold,

533
00:24:34,440 --> 00:24:37,399
Speaker 4: I got sick and he still did nothing, So I

534
00:24:37,520 --> 00:24:39,680
Speaker 4: ended up having to live with them for over a year,

535
00:24:40,680 --> 00:24:43,000
Speaker 4: chewed up a lot of my clothing, still having to

536
00:24:43,040 --> 00:24:46,360
Speaker 4: replace clothing to this day. That is only because I'm

537
00:24:46,400 --> 00:24:48,560
Speaker 4: a little picky, but also don't tend to buy stuff

538
00:24:48,560 --> 00:24:51,680
Speaker 4: for myself, but always do for other people. Dan was

539
00:24:51,720 --> 00:24:54,320
Speaker 4: also a blame shifter. If he did something wrong, he

540
00:24:54,359 --> 00:24:57,200
Speaker 4: would also gaslight the situation by saying, oh, but remember

541
00:24:57,200 --> 00:24:59,200
Speaker 4: when you did this five years ago, or it wasn't

542
00:24:59,200 --> 00:25:01,680
Speaker 4: my fault, it's because Andrew didn't leave in time. Dan

543
00:25:01,720 --> 00:25:04,800
Speaker 4: would do something to Andrew. Dan was always the type

544
00:25:04,800 --> 00:25:07,040
Speaker 4: to gaslight, you know, out of the situation. I'd ask

545
00:25:07,200 --> 00:25:10,480
Speaker 4: did you do this? And Dan would say yeah. Then

546
00:25:10,520 --> 00:25:12,600
Speaker 4: I'd be like, well, okay, let's figure it out then

547
00:25:12,920 --> 00:25:15,119
Speaker 4: and the story would change. Dan would say, oh, I

548
00:25:15,200 --> 00:25:18,320
Speaker 4: actually I didn't actually go. Can you reschedule for me?

549
00:25:18,440 --> 00:25:20,679
Speaker 4: I didn't feel like calling them, so you can handle it.

550
00:25:21,920 --> 00:25:25,000
Speaker 4: Dan would even gaslight me about the bills. I'd be like, well,

551
00:25:25,080 --> 00:25:27,879
Speaker 4: the office phone and Wi Fi are off. Dan would say, well,

552
00:25:27,920 --> 00:25:30,399
Speaker 4: I know I paid them this month, when in actuality,

553
00:25:30,440 --> 00:25:32,920
Speaker 4: he paid them two months ago. I even at one

554
00:25:32,920 --> 00:25:35,159
Speaker 4: time almost lost my healthcare because he didn't fill out

555
00:25:35,200 --> 00:25:38,600
Speaker 4: the paperwork. Going grocery shopping with Dan was a pain also.

556
00:25:39,040 --> 00:25:41,280
Speaker 4: He was so embarrassing. We would go to a cheap

557
00:25:41,280 --> 00:25:44,200
Speaker 4: store since he wanted to save money. Dan would find

558
00:25:44,200 --> 00:25:46,520
Speaker 4: some way to complain about whatever we were getting, but

559
00:25:46,560 --> 00:25:48,960
Speaker 4: then cry later on because we forgot something he wanted.

560
00:25:49,560 --> 00:25:51,760
Speaker 4: I would constantly have to threaten to leave the store

561
00:25:51,800 --> 00:25:53,120
Speaker 4: with nothing for him to calm down.

562
00:25:53,320 --> 00:25:54,920
Speaker 3: I just want, oh, he to leave.

563
00:25:55,240 --> 00:25:57,440
Speaker 4: By the way, I'd be the one getting the sensible

564
00:25:57,440 --> 00:25:59,720
Speaker 4: stuff for the house, so we would always have food

565
00:25:59,760 --> 00:26:01,919
Speaker 4: just in case something happened. So I would always be

566
00:26:01,960 --> 00:26:04,800
Speaker 4: buying pantry staples and buying in bulk to fill up

567
00:26:04,800 --> 00:26:07,080
Speaker 4: the cabinets. I did most of the cooking, so I

568
00:26:07,119 --> 00:26:09,439
Speaker 4: bought what I liked to cook mostly, and cooked for

569
00:26:09,520 --> 00:26:12,240
Speaker 4: the whole house. Dan liked to tell everyone your business.

570
00:26:12,320 --> 00:26:14,639
Speaker 4: Like I mentioned before, he'd be on the phone with

571
00:26:14,640 --> 00:26:17,879
Speaker 4: a customer and randomly say, this traumatizing thing happened to

572
00:26:17,880 --> 00:26:24,239
Speaker 4: Andrew a couple of years ago. What what what did

573
00:26:24,280 --> 00:26:26,800
Speaker 4: we talk? He's on the phone with customers, like, Oh,

574
00:26:26,840 --> 00:26:28,880
Speaker 4: you won't believe the trauma that my kid went through.

575
00:26:28,880 --> 00:26:33,560
Speaker 3: Cookies was traumatized. Do you want lawn services?

576
00:26:33,680 --> 00:26:35,280
Speaker 4: Yeah, i'll get if you listen to this story, I'll

577
00:26:35,320 --> 00:26:40,040
Speaker 4: give you fifty bucks off. Dan stop giving them trauma discounts.

578
00:26:40,160 --> 00:26:42,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, He's like, it'll only be twenty dollars if you

579
00:26:42,560 --> 00:26:44,440
Speaker 2: listen to the story, And then like three days later

580
00:26:44,560 --> 00:26:46,200
Speaker 2: is like, it's sixty dollars.

581
00:26:46,280 --> 00:26:48,200
Speaker 3: What are you talking about. I never said twenty.

582
00:26:48,520 --> 00:26:51,439
Speaker 4: He would do the same thing to me. After a while,

583
00:26:51,560 --> 00:26:54,160
Speaker 4: I stopped telling him stuff unless it pertained to work

584
00:26:54,560 --> 00:26:58,040
Speaker 4: or bills. I would also get calls from the landlord saying,

585
00:26:58,320 --> 00:27:01,399
Speaker 4: why is Dan saying this? Or that happened one time

586
00:27:01,720 --> 00:27:05,840
Speaker 4: me and Andrew spilled the beans on the hoard mentioned

587
00:27:05,960 --> 00:27:09,840
Speaker 4: more below, and his and his girlfriend's other issues. Oh God,

588
00:27:09,880 --> 00:27:15,640
Speaker 4: there's a horde, the hoarding, Oh lord, lord, horde. Nothing

589
00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:20,120
Speaker 4: ever positive when you when you hear the term the horde. Yeah,

590
00:27:20,160 --> 00:27:20,800
Speaker 4: there's a horde.

591
00:27:20,960 --> 00:27:24,919
Speaker 2: And then you know in freaking the hobbit and the

592
00:27:25,040 --> 00:27:27,200
Speaker 2: smoug is gonna get you.

593
00:27:27,920 --> 00:27:30,320
Speaker 4: Dan thought we stabbed him in the back. But I

594
00:27:30,359 --> 00:27:34,159
Speaker 4: didn't appreciate the Landlord always coming to fact check his lies.

595
00:27:36,359 --> 00:27:39,240
Speaker 4: It was very annoying. I did so much for Dan.

596
00:27:39,560 --> 00:27:41,560
Speaker 4: I did it for Dan. I was doing it for

597
00:27:41,640 --> 00:27:45,119
Speaker 4: to do it for Dan, but it felt like it

598
00:27:45,280 --> 00:27:46,760
Speaker 4: was never enough for.

599
00:27:46,800 --> 00:27:49,080
Speaker 3: Him, never enough for Dan.

600
00:27:49,560 --> 00:27:53,080
Speaker 4: He would always find some way to complain. Dan was

601
00:27:53,119 --> 00:27:55,640
Speaker 4: never happy, to be honest. We've all known someone like that.

602
00:27:56,200 --> 00:27:59,919
Speaker 4: He was very tiresome to be around. So back to

603
00:28:00,080 --> 00:28:02,679
Speaker 4: something I mentioned before, Oh, I think this is the horde.

604
00:28:02,920 --> 00:28:07,000
Speaker 4: Dan gained his girlfriend Tracy, So Dan and Tracy would

605
00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:09,560
Speaker 4: constantly talk behind your back, even if it was sometimes

606
00:28:09,560 --> 00:28:12,720
Speaker 4: about stupid stuff. Was quite annoying and caused a fair

607
00:28:12,840 --> 00:28:16,200
Speaker 4: few arguments. Among other things, Tracy would do like take

608
00:28:16,240 --> 00:28:18,600
Speaker 4: all the towels out of the only bathroom and put

609
00:28:18,600 --> 00:28:22,160
Speaker 4: them all in her room. Tracy wouldn't even leave one.

610
00:28:22,520 --> 00:28:25,919
Speaker 4: Tracy Tracy, Tracy, Tracy would not leave a single towel.

611
00:28:26,359 --> 00:28:28,480
Speaker 4: Tracy would take whatever you bought and put it in

612
00:28:28,520 --> 00:28:31,720
Speaker 4: her room. Shampoo, a cooking utensil, et.

613
00:28:31,680 --> 00:28:37,600
Speaker 3: Cetera, a spatula in her room. She's she's a little magpie.

614
00:28:37,640 --> 00:28:42,720
Speaker 4: She's just collecting shiny objects to tract mate. That's amazing.

615
00:28:43,240 --> 00:28:46,000
Speaker 4: Tracy would sleep all day long and stay up all

616
00:28:46,080 --> 00:28:49,680
Speaker 4: night pretending to clean stuff, when in fact she would

617
00:28:49,760 --> 00:28:53,040
Speaker 4: just be, you know, in an altered state and needed

618
00:28:53,080 --> 00:28:56,920
Speaker 4: stuff to do. Oh, just a little late night teeth grinding.

619
00:28:57,000 --> 00:29:01,520
Speaker 4: I assume Tracy was also a compol liar and a hoarder.

620
00:29:02,120 --> 00:29:04,480
Speaker 4: She would constantly lie about taking your stuff. What would

621
00:29:04,480 --> 00:29:06,760
Speaker 4: be like, I don't know how it got there when

622
00:29:06,800 --> 00:29:09,640
Speaker 4: it was found in her hoard, I tried to help

623
00:29:09,640 --> 00:29:11,480
Speaker 4: her clean it multiple times, just to be a nice

624
00:29:11,520 --> 00:29:13,920
Speaker 4: person and to not get thrown out by the landlord

625
00:29:14,000 --> 00:29:16,880
Speaker 4: for said horde. It would constantly end up back the

626
00:29:16,880 --> 00:29:19,000
Speaker 4: way it was, and Tracy would always have an excuse

627
00:29:19,040 --> 00:29:21,920
Speaker 4: for it, saying I'll get to it tomorrow. Tomorrow would

628
00:29:21,960 --> 00:29:24,240
Speaker 4: get there and she'd say I'm in pain or I

629
00:29:24,240 --> 00:29:27,120
Speaker 4: don't feel well, but then refuse to go to the doctor.

630
00:29:27,280 --> 00:29:30,160
Speaker 2: I hate that so manners complainers and not doing nothing

631
00:29:30,160 --> 00:29:30,600
Speaker 2: about it.

632
00:29:31,000 --> 00:29:37,120
Speaker 4: Tracy was also very selfish. Tracy she would do things

633
00:29:37,200 --> 00:29:39,400
Speaker 4: for herself before she would ever do them for you.

634
00:29:39,560 --> 00:29:42,520
Speaker 4: She would always accuse Dan of cheating constantly, but then

635
00:29:42,600 --> 00:29:46,880
Speaker 4: ask him for just give me a bumma sugarette, give

636
00:29:46,920 --> 00:29:53,360
Speaker 4: me bigig. Tracy would then get very angry if Dan

637
00:29:53,480 --> 00:29:56,920
Speaker 4: didn't answer her call for a precious.

638
00:29:56,720 --> 00:29:59,920
Speaker 3: Secret peace give me you see.

639
00:30:00,600 --> 00:30:04,240
Speaker 4: She would also witch out Dan over stupid stuff or

640
00:30:04,280 --> 00:30:08,400
Speaker 4: stuff she knew nothing about all the time. Tracy would

641
00:30:08,400 --> 00:30:10,880
Speaker 4: also sleep all day and would procrastinate when it comes

642
00:30:10,880 --> 00:30:13,280
Speaker 4: to doing things. She would, for instance, say oh, yamn,

643
00:30:13,520 --> 00:30:16,040
Speaker 4: I paid that bill, but then it would get shut

644
00:30:16,080 --> 00:30:17,600
Speaker 4: off because she didn't feel.

645
00:30:17,440 --> 00:30:19,400
Speaker 3: Like doing it at that time, so she stopped procrastinating.

646
00:30:19,480 --> 00:30:21,440
Speaker 3: She's like, well she is, but she's also just lying.

647
00:30:21,680 --> 00:30:25,920
Speaker 4: She would always lie about it or play stupid. Playing

648
00:30:25,960 --> 00:30:28,640
Speaker 4: stupid was always her go to if she would get

649
00:30:28,640 --> 00:30:31,520
Speaker 4: called out in a lie. Let's just say I didn't

650
00:30:31,600 --> 00:30:35,720
Speaker 4: like Tracy at all in the slightest Tracy's stealing being

651
00:30:35,760 --> 00:30:37,800
Speaker 4: one of the main issues I didn't like is the

652
00:30:37,880 --> 00:30:41,600
Speaker 4: issue I had with Tracy's This one day, I had

653
00:30:41,600 --> 00:30:44,000
Speaker 4: a date, so I woke up early to get ready

654
00:30:44,000 --> 00:30:46,360
Speaker 4: for said date, and Tracy took all my shampoo and

655
00:30:46,400 --> 00:30:48,800
Speaker 4: conditioner that I bought for my hair. They were big

656
00:30:48,840 --> 00:30:51,640
Speaker 4: bottles too. She swore up and down that she didn't

657
00:30:51,680 --> 00:30:53,920
Speaker 4: have them. So I said, all right. It was like

658
00:30:53,960 --> 00:30:56,320
Speaker 4: seven am, so I said to her, I'm gonna just

659
00:30:56,480 --> 00:31:00,680
Speaker 4: complain until they reappear. I guess you're not sleep. So

660
00:31:00,760 --> 00:31:02,720
Speaker 4: after like twenty minutes of Dan and Tracy hearing that

661
00:31:03,040 --> 00:31:11,040
Speaker 4: they magically appeared on the kitchen table. What what? Tracy

662
00:31:11,120 --> 00:31:13,760
Speaker 4: also had this tendency to hide things and then forget

663
00:31:13,760 --> 00:31:16,720
Speaker 4: about them later on. Tracy would always hide the job

664
00:31:16,760 --> 00:31:19,800
Speaker 4: money to where only she knew where it was. One

665
00:31:19,880 --> 00:31:22,800
Speaker 4: time it went missing, it was like twelve hundred dollars.

666
00:31:23,160 --> 00:31:24,920
Speaker 4: Needless to say, that never showed up.

667
00:31:24,960 --> 00:31:27,640
Speaker 3: This is freaking stealing. She's just stealing.

668
00:31:27,880 --> 00:31:31,160
Speaker 4: What are we eaving at this point? Go start your

669
00:31:31,200 --> 00:31:32,440
Speaker 4: own lawn care business.

670
00:31:32,440 --> 00:31:35,280
Speaker 2: They truly don't understand why ope. He has stayed as

671
00:31:35,320 --> 00:31:37,400
Speaker 2: long as they have because this is I.

672
00:31:37,840 --> 00:31:39,840
Speaker 3: Why to be out of there. Yeah, yeah, I would

673
00:31:39,880 --> 00:31:42,040
Speaker 3: be out there so quick.

674
00:31:41,800 --> 00:31:43,840
Speaker 4: At some point you gotta say, I gotta go. You

675
00:31:43,880 --> 00:31:48,200
Speaker 4: sound like you're a smart on your shoulders. You're resourceful.

676
00:31:48,720 --> 00:31:52,320
Speaker 4: You've helped this business succeed, start a new lawn care

677
00:31:52,360 --> 00:31:54,200
Speaker 4: business called Dan's Son.

678
00:31:54,480 --> 00:31:58,120
Speaker 3: Dan's Son, No Dan Cole, No Dan.

679
00:31:58,160 --> 00:32:02,600
Speaker 4: Just son, No no Dan, just son, the good one. Lon.

680
00:32:03,280 --> 00:32:05,080
Speaker 4: Get Andrew out of there too. I don't know, get

681
00:32:05,120 --> 00:32:08,720
Speaker 4: anyone member of this Yeah, I don't.

682
00:32:08,720 --> 00:32:08,960
Speaker 3: I don't.

683
00:32:09,000 --> 00:32:12,600
Speaker 4: We haven't really heard anything about Andrew. You don't really

684
00:32:12,640 --> 00:32:16,720
Speaker 4: do what? Okay? Yeah, never mind, don't bring Andrew. And

685
00:32:17,480 --> 00:32:20,480
Speaker 4: it was hard to look anyways because there would only

686
00:32:20,520 --> 00:32:22,960
Speaker 4: be a path in the room. The rest was just

687
00:32:23,080 --> 00:32:30,240
Speaker 4: stuff piled everywhere, books, kitchen stuff, toilet, trees, trees, clothing,

688
00:32:30,680 --> 00:32:33,520
Speaker 4: et cetera. Do you live in a tartis?

689
00:32:33,880 --> 00:32:35,960
Speaker 3: Oh see, I was gonna say, like a is she

690
00:32:36,280 --> 00:32:38,080
Speaker 3: working at a home depot? I don't know.

691
00:32:38,280 --> 00:32:40,000
Speaker 4: I swear though, to this day, that she spent the

692
00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:42,960
Speaker 4: money on substances. Yeah, of course she. Yeah, absolutely, she's

693
00:32:43,080 --> 00:32:44,840
Speaker 4: up in the middle of the night pretending to clean.

694
00:32:46,000 --> 00:32:48,920
Speaker 4: Only she was allowed to know where stuff was, including

695
00:32:48,960 --> 00:32:51,960
Speaker 4: cleaning stuff. I'd constantly have to ask after I put

696
00:32:51,960 --> 00:32:54,479
Speaker 4: it away in one spot and it wasn't there. Tracy

697
00:32:54,520 --> 00:32:56,920
Speaker 4: was constantly doing dumb things and Dan was always sticking

698
00:32:57,000 --> 00:32:59,160
Speaker 4: up for but then complained to her about it too.

699
00:32:59,440 --> 00:33:03,640
Speaker 4: It was we weird, weird, weird. I would clean the dishes,

700
00:33:03,640 --> 00:33:05,600
Speaker 4: put them away, and two hours later they would be

701
00:33:05,640 --> 00:33:08,320
Speaker 4: moved because Tracy would say I didn't like them there.

702
00:33:09,240 --> 00:33:10,680
Speaker 4: Why is Tracy living with us?

703
00:33:11,000 --> 00:33:11,120
Speaker 1: Oh?

704
00:33:11,200 --> 00:33:14,760
Speaker 4: Wait, that's right, because they're they're both addicts in activitations.

705
00:33:16,320 --> 00:33:18,600
Speaker 4: Tracy would also start laundry then leave it there for

706
00:33:18,640 --> 00:33:21,280
Speaker 4: two weeks while the whole time everyone else's laundry built up,

707
00:33:21,280 --> 00:33:23,320
Speaker 4: and she would witch you out if you touched it.

708
00:33:23,360 --> 00:33:25,920
Speaker 4: I'm throwing it in the backyard. I to be honest,

709
00:33:25,960 --> 00:33:29,360
Speaker 4: don't know why they're still together, because they're addicts and

710
00:33:29,400 --> 00:33:32,920
Speaker 4: they are leaning on each other to, you know, exist.

711
00:33:33,400 --> 00:33:35,760
Speaker 4: Maybe it's because Tracy's brother passed away and she was

712
00:33:35,800 --> 00:33:38,280
Speaker 4: living with him before but has nowhere to go now

713
00:33:38,280 --> 00:33:41,479
Speaker 4: with her two cats, dog and all her junk. Now

714
00:33:41,600 --> 00:33:44,920
Speaker 4: Here is where the boyfriend comes into the situation. Me

715
00:33:45,000 --> 00:33:47,880
Speaker 4: and him being thirty one met on Tinder. Back in

716
00:33:47,960 --> 00:33:52,040
Speaker 4: early twenty twenty four, we clicked. He ended up moving

717
00:33:52,040 --> 00:33:53,800
Speaker 4: in with me and helped out a lot because I

718
00:33:53,840 --> 00:33:56,440
Speaker 4: wasn't getting help from any of them. Boyfriend, let's call

719
00:33:56,520 --> 00:33:59,920
Speaker 4: him Devon. Devin always helped me clean or with work

720
00:34:00,080 --> 00:34:03,240
Speaker 4: stuff whenever he would be done with work himself. Devin

721
00:34:03,280 --> 00:34:05,920
Speaker 4: also helped with bills and would get help whenever me

722
00:34:06,120 --> 00:34:09,680
Speaker 4: and him needed since my job didn't pay much. Let's

723
00:34:09,719 --> 00:34:11,520
Speaker 4: just say Dan didn't like Devon for any of this.

724
00:34:12,120 --> 00:34:15,080
Speaker 4: Maybe Dan felt he was getting replaced. Dan would always

725
00:34:15,160 --> 00:34:18,719
Speaker 4: mutter something bad to Devon under his breath. I guess

726
00:34:18,760 --> 00:34:21,200
Speaker 4: he was afraid of Devon or something. Whenever Devin would

727
00:34:21,200 --> 00:34:23,279
Speaker 4: confront him about it, Dan would walk away and not

728
00:34:23,320 --> 00:34:26,120
Speaker 4: say anything about it. Dan also didn't like that Devin

729
00:34:26,120 --> 00:34:28,200
Speaker 4: made me realize I'm worth more than twenty dollars per

730
00:34:28,280 --> 00:34:30,960
Speaker 4: job and that I should be getting ten percent. Me

731
00:34:31,000 --> 00:34:33,880
Speaker 4: and Dan thought about that for weeks. I had finally

732
00:34:33,960 --> 00:34:37,440
Speaker 4: learned my worth. Dan ended up not paying my worth,

733
00:34:37,640 --> 00:34:41,640
Speaker 4: so I quit, gave him my final estimates, and was done.

734
00:34:41,760 --> 00:34:45,200
Speaker 4: It would always be about Devin being gay or being overweight.

735
00:34:45,560 --> 00:34:47,759
Speaker 4: Devin didn't tell me at first. He just took it

736
00:34:47,800 --> 00:34:52,399
Speaker 4: on the chin. How is how are these interactions even

737
00:34:52,440 --> 00:34:59,160
Speaker 4: being facilitated? I'm so confused. Thank god you found somebody

738
00:34:59,239 --> 00:35:01,960
Speaker 4: who made you see. Yeah, you're worth more than this situation.

739
00:35:03,040 --> 00:35:07,880
Speaker 4: But I still suggest therapy. Oh absolutely, It's.

740
00:35:07,640 --> 00:35:08,400
Speaker 3: Stunning to me.

741
00:35:08,560 --> 00:35:11,040
Speaker 2: You stayed in this situation for so long. Zack, definitely

742
00:35:11,080 --> 00:35:14,000
Speaker 2: need therapy to tell you how to not do that

743
00:35:14,040 --> 00:35:14,960
Speaker 2: ever again.

744
00:35:14,880 --> 00:35:20,719
Speaker 4: Ever, ever again. Devin didn't take crap from anybody, but

745
00:35:20,920 --> 00:35:23,239
Speaker 4: was being a nice person because I had asked him to.

746
00:35:23,760 --> 00:35:25,840
Speaker 4: I tell him I don't want any problems and just

747
00:35:25,960 --> 00:35:29,080
Speaker 4: let it go. Once he did, though, I was extremely

748
00:35:29,239 --> 00:35:32,480
Speaker 4: upset about it, so next time Dan said it, the

749
00:35:33,520 --> 00:35:38,160
Speaker 4: eyes smacked Dan's face and walked away. Dan didn't say

750
00:35:38,239 --> 00:35:40,239
Speaker 4: or do anything for the rest of the night. Devon

751
00:35:40,360 --> 00:35:42,479
Speaker 4: and then everyone got up and clapped. Devon was proud

752
00:35:42,480 --> 00:35:44,520
Speaker 4: of me for sticking up for myself because of all

753
00:35:44,560 --> 00:35:47,680
Speaker 4: the mistreatment Dan had given me over the years. A

754
00:35:47,680 --> 00:35:51,120
Speaker 4: few weeks later, Dan and Andrew plotted against me and

755
00:35:51,239 --> 00:35:53,719
Speaker 4: Devin to get Devin to move out. When did Devon

756
00:35:53,840 --> 00:35:56,279
Speaker 4: move in? We skip that part?

757
00:35:56,400 --> 00:35:58,200
Speaker 3: Oh why did we? Why did Devon move in?

758
00:35:58,280 --> 00:36:00,879
Speaker 4: How is Devons living in the horder house? See your Dad,

759
00:36:00,960 --> 00:36:02,120
Speaker 4: your brother, and Tracy.

760
00:36:02,160 --> 00:36:05,160
Speaker 3: We should have moved in with Devin somewhere else.

761
00:36:05,800 --> 00:36:08,600
Speaker 4: Andrew had his own issues with Devon, which I mentioned

762
00:36:08,680 --> 00:36:11,680
Speaker 4: previously in another post, along with Andrew not being allowed

763
00:36:12,040 --> 00:36:14,280
Speaker 4: to be an a hole to me anymore because Devin

764
00:36:14,480 --> 00:36:17,759
Speaker 4: didn't let him. They made up some story because they

765
00:36:17,800 --> 00:36:20,959
Speaker 4: owed the landlord money and said I said some things

766
00:36:20,960 --> 00:36:23,360
Speaker 4: to the landlord. How are you going to make up

767
00:36:23,360 --> 00:36:25,880
Speaker 4: a story to the landlord that someone else said something

768
00:36:25,920 --> 00:36:31,160
Speaker 4: that wasn't said by them. This is so I we're

769
00:36:31,200 --> 00:36:32,719
Speaker 4: at We're getting close to the end, folks, We're at

770
00:36:32,719 --> 00:36:35,080
Speaker 4: the finish line now. Everyone had to move out, which

771
00:36:35,120 --> 00:36:37,360
Speaker 4: I later found out from the landlord. He just wanted

772
00:36:37,360 --> 00:36:40,400
Speaker 4: his money. I went into more detail about this in

773
00:36:40,440 --> 00:36:42,360
Speaker 4: a previous post. I figured if Devin bought it, he

774
00:36:42,360 --> 00:36:45,000
Speaker 4: would move out and I would stay. I ended up

775
00:36:45,120 --> 00:36:48,440
Speaker 4: leaving with Devin. So a few days before, Dan starts

776
00:36:48,440 --> 00:36:50,920
Speaker 4: pitching a fit about us late at night, and Devin

777
00:36:51,120 --> 00:36:53,759
Speaker 4: ends up giving him a little smack of reno for

778
00:36:53,840 --> 00:36:56,000
Speaker 4: all the months of abuse he had given both of us.

779
00:36:56,440 --> 00:37:00,280
Speaker 4: Dan is quiet the rest of the time, and folks,

780
00:37:01,480 --> 00:37:03,799
Speaker 4: if you're having a quiet moment right now and you're

781
00:37:03,800 --> 00:37:06,600
Speaker 4: like how do I feel this silence? You can go

782
00:37:06,760 --> 00:37:11,280
Speaker 4: listen to full episodes with stories a little less annoying

783
00:37:11,360 --> 00:37:15,080
Speaker 4: than this one, and they're on Spotify and Apple Podcasts

784
00:37:15,120 --> 00:37:18,719
Speaker 4: and iHeartRadio. Just search okay, story time, You've got more

785
00:37:18,719 --> 00:37:22,799
Speaker 4: than two thousand stories to search from money your selectional men,

786
00:37:22,920 --> 00:37:27,120
Speaker 4: oh wide. After we leave, Devin puts Dan's work number

787
00:37:27,160 --> 00:37:30,960
Speaker 4: on all kinds of rehab services and telemarketing services. Dan

788
00:37:31,040 --> 00:37:32,919
Speaker 4: had to get his work number, which he has had

789
00:37:32,960 --> 00:37:35,880
Speaker 4: for over ten years now changed. Needless to say, we

790
00:37:35,920 --> 00:37:38,080
Speaker 4: had the last laugh because now none of his customers

791
00:37:38,280 --> 00:37:40,360
Speaker 4: that had his numbers saved or memorize can get a

792
00:37:40,360 --> 00:37:43,160
Speaker 4: hold of Dan. I've gone no contact with Dan, Andrew

793
00:37:43,239 --> 00:37:45,719
Speaker 4: and Tracy. By the way, am the a hole for

794
00:37:45,800 --> 00:37:48,319
Speaker 4: quitting the family business, realizing I'm better off not living

795
00:37:48,320 --> 00:37:51,439
Speaker 4: with that toxic behavior and moving out. Also not letting

796
00:37:51,440 --> 00:37:54,280
Speaker 4: my boyfriend get some petty revenge on him and essentially

797
00:37:54,280 --> 00:37:57,000
Speaker 4: Andrew too, since Andrew worked for Dan. And that is

798
00:37:57,040 --> 00:38:00,359
Speaker 4: the end of that story. Hey John Ogi host, We're

799
00:38:00,360 --> 00:38:02,319
Speaker 4: gonna get back to this episode, but a quick three

800
00:38:02,360 --> 00:38:04,720
Speaker 4: minute break of ads from a sponsor's keeping the show alive.

801
00:38:05,600 --> 00:38:09,080
Speaker 1: My brother has been an absent parent. Now he wants

802
00:38:09,120 --> 00:38:09,680
Speaker 1: to take over.

803
00:38:09,920 --> 00:38:11,920
Speaker 4: He's like, I'm tapping out, I'm gonna tap you in.

804
00:38:12,040 --> 00:38:16,200
Speaker 1: You ready? So am I the able. My brother had

805
00:38:16,239 --> 00:38:19,959
Speaker 1: a child right after graduating high school, and my mother,

806
00:38:20,040 --> 00:38:22,560
Speaker 1: who has always favored him, stepped right in to care

807
00:38:22,600 --> 00:38:25,120
Speaker 1: for this child. He married the baby mama, but it

808
00:38:25,200 --> 00:38:28,120
Speaker 1: was short lived. Then, like most people in the early twenties,

809
00:38:28,239 --> 00:38:30,839
Speaker 1: he wanted to be free, have fun like a little bird.

810
00:38:30,840 --> 00:38:32,799
Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from Traditional Age sixty two

811
00:38:32,920 --> 00:38:35,160
Speaker 1: ninety nine and if you want to spit your own stories,

812
00:38:35,320 --> 00:38:37,919
Speaker 1: good to our slash Okay Storytime a little sub reddit.

813
00:38:38,080 --> 00:38:41,919
Speaker 1: So my niece grew up with my mom seeing her

814
00:38:41,960 --> 00:38:45,200
Speaker 1: parents on occasion. Honestly, my brother would breeze in every

815
00:38:45,239 --> 00:38:47,520
Speaker 1: couple of weeks and be like a big brother to Hairr.

816
00:38:48,200 --> 00:38:51,120
Speaker 1: This always bothered me. She's now grown herself, married with

817
00:38:51,160 --> 00:38:53,640
Speaker 1: three kids of her own. She's an excellent mother. I'm

818
00:38:53,719 --> 00:38:56,640
Speaker 1: very proud of her. And about ten years after having her,

819
00:38:57,160 --> 00:39:00,640
Speaker 1: he met another toxic woman. They got mad and began

820
00:39:00,719 --> 00:39:03,799
Speaker 1: having kids right away, like popping them out. You know.

821
00:39:03,880 --> 00:39:05,440
Speaker 4: She just babe, bae babe.

822
00:39:05,480 --> 00:39:09,080
Speaker 1: He actually knew her for two weeks when she quit

823
00:39:09,120 --> 00:39:11,640
Speaker 1: her job and then moved in with him. So in

824
00:39:11,680 --> 00:39:15,239
Speaker 1: the twenty years they've been married, she's never worked again.

825
00:39:15,400 --> 00:39:17,160
Speaker 4: I was about to say when you know, you know,

826
00:39:17,680 --> 00:39:20,280
Speaker 4: I was gonna say it as a joke, but clearly this.

827
00:39:20,280 --> 00:39:24,440
Speaker 1: Way they knew. Oh my god. And they've had six kids.

828
00:39:25,000 --> 00:39:27,880
Speaker 1: She is obsessed with babies, but once they get about

829
00:39:27,920 --> 00:39:32,560
Speaker 1: two or three years old, she's not very interested anymore. Hikes,

830
00:39:33,040 --> 00:39:37,120
Speaker 1: he just kept giving into this regular user I on

831
00:39:38,360 --> 00:39:41,120
Speaker 1: to make her happy. Meanwhile, even though he has a

832
00:39:41,120 --> 00:39:44,160
Speaker 1: great job, money has been typed. I helped him out

833
00:39:44,200 --> 00:39:47,720
Speaker 1: some early on because I worried about my niece's nephews,

834
00:39:47,719 --> 00:39:50,280
Speaker 1: But as they continue to make more kids after my helping,

835
00:39:50,640 --> 00:39:53,080
Speaker 1: I quit doing so. I firmly believe my mom has

836
00:39:53,120 --> 00:39:55,680
Speaker 1: continued to do so whenever she could. And mind you,

837
00:39:55,880 --> 00:39:58,840
Speaker 1: she is on a very fixed income. She would not

838
00:39:59,000 --> 00:40:02,080
Speaker 1: make it if my sister and I didn't help her financially.

839
00:40:02,719 --> 00:40:05,880
Speaker 1: That is one thing my sister will do send money

840
00:40:06,000 --> 00:40:08,640
Speaker 1: for my mom. So even after my brother remarried, his

841
00:40:08,640 --> 00:40:11,279
Speaker 1: first daughter was never part of that family. The second

842
00:40:11,320 --> 00:40:14,440
Speaker 1: wife did not want her to be my mom. His

843
00:40:14,560 --> 00:40:17,799
Speaker 1: enabler has made every excuse under the moon. There's no

844
00:40:17,840 --> 00:40:20,719
Speaker 1: excuse for that. Though, after twenty years of marriage and

845
00:40:20,840 --> 00:40:24,640
Speaker 1: six kids, two are grown, another almost grown, three still

846
00:40:24,640 --> 00:40:28,719
Speaker 1: have young ones, his wife asked for a divorce. I

847
00:40:28,760 --> 00:40:31,319
Speaker 1: have no idea what happened, as I do not want

848
00:40:31,360 --> 00:40:33,759
Speaker 1: to get too deep in this drama. But since she's

849
00:40:33,840 --> 00:40:37,480
Speaker 1: never had any desire to work, I assume there's another

850
00:40:37,600 --> 00:40:40,560
Speaker 1: man promising her a thing. My mom had to move

851
00:40:40,600 --> 00:40:43,320
Speaker 1: in with me about five years ago due to health issues.

852
00:40:43,520 --> 00:40:46,960
Speaker 1: I'm her caregiver, including doctor's visits, picking up medicine, all

853
00:40:47,000 --> 00:40:49,480
Speaker 1: the grocery shop, I'm taking all the errands, cooking for her,

854
00:40:49,520 --> 00:40:52,240
Speaker 1: cleaning for her, etc. She has always loved to drive.

855
00:40:52,560 --> 00:40:55,000
Speaker 1: Up until two years ago, she still drove and could

856
00:40:55,040 --> 00:40:58,360
Speaker 1: do more for herself, but suddenly she became scared to

857
00:40:58,360 --> 00:41:00,399
Speaker 1: do so. I have no idea what this is about.

858
00:41:00,400 --> 00:41:02,440
Speaker 1: Maybe she ran over someone I didn't tell you.

859
00:41:02,719 --> 00:41:05,440
Speaker 4: She's got the deepest, darkest secret.

860
00:41:05,719 --> 00:41:08,640
Speaker 1: Yeah. I feel like she hit something and doesn't want

861
00:41:08,640 --> 00:41:08,839
Speaker 1: you to.

862
00:41:08,920 --> 00:41:10,560
Speaker 4: This happened to a friend of mine. I got a

863
00:41:10,560 --> 00:41:13,520
Speaker 4: buddy who just can't drive right now because they just

864
00:41:13,560 --> 00:41:16,440
Speaker 4: get like they have like an anxiety like panic attack

865
00:41:16,560 --> 00:41:17,240
Speaker 4: type situation.

866
00:41:17,360 --> 00:41:20,680
Speaker 1: I'm not getting panic attacks, but I am becoming a

867
00:41:20,760 --> 00:41:22,759
Speaker 1: worse and worst driver day by day.

868
00:41:22,840 --> 00:41:25,440
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think I know why. I'm really clued in

869
00:41:25,480 --> 00:41:28,120
Speaker 4: as to why you are. You have to stop letting

870
00:41:28,120 --> 00:41:31,000
Speaker 4: your car drive it. It's so bad, you can't keep

871
00:41:31,040 --> 00:41:32,280
Speaker 4: doing it so bad.

872
00:41:32,400 --> 00:41:36,240
Speaker 1: It's great, No, it's great. I was terrified of taking

873
00:41:36,320 --> 00:41:39,760
Speaker 1: the wheel and the McDonald's drive through. I hit the curve.

874
00:41:40,600 --> 00:41:44,480
Speaker 1: I literally take over the wheel for like twenty seconds.

875
00:41:44,560 --> 00:41:47,560
Speaker 4: Would like fly planes today, hit the curve. I will

876
00:41:47,600 --> 00:41:51,680
Speaker 4: say that those Tesla tires, they hit the curb so easy.

877
00:41:51,800 --> 00:41:55,040
Speaker 1: I hit the curb yesterday. It's totally the tires. You're right.

878
00:41:55,160 --> 00:41:58,600
Speaker 1: Suddenly she became scared to do so to drive. I

879
00:41:58,640 --> 00:42:02,080
Speaker 1: have no idea what this is about. So that has

880
00:42:02,160 --> 00:42:06,440
Speaker 1: actually made her more dependent. So his wife wanted a divorce,

881
00:42:06,480 --> 00:42:08,759
Speaker 1: and he came right to my mom for sympathy. He

882
00:42:08,760 --> 00:42:10,920
Speaker 1: stayed with us a few months, and it was absolutely

883
00:42:11,440 --> 00:42:13,880
Speaker 1: I've always known he likes this, but had no idea

884
00:42:14,040 --> 00:42:17,080
Speaker 1: how bad it is. So maybe the wife divorce because

885
00:42:17,080 --> 00:42:19,680
Speaker 1: of some drinking problem. He spent a considerable amount of

886
00:42:19,760 --> 00:42:23,320
Speaker 1: time in the spare bedroom just drinking when not working,

887
00:42:23,360 --> 00:42:26,279
Speaker 1: and it would often make him confrontational. So you get

888
00:42:26,280 --> 00:42:28,680
Speaker 1: a little mad. My mom would make excuses for this too,

889
00:42:29,040 --> 00:42:31,600
Speaker 1: that he missed the kids so much and was depressed.

890
00:42:31,880 --> 00:42:33,640
Speaker 1: Finally had to make it clear that it was my

891
00:42:33,920 --> 00:42:38,200
Speaker 1: home and I am not having that. Shortly after that

892
00:42:38,719 --> 00:42:40,840
Speaker 1: he got his own place. Okay, that's good.

893
00:42:40,800 --> 00:42:44,320
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean yes, I will hold my judgment for later.

894
00:42:44,560 --> 00:42:47,920
Speaker 1: I could tell that my mom was furious with me,

895
00:42:48,320 --> 00:42:50,080
Speaker 1: but there was not much she could say, and I

896
00:42:50,200 --> 00:42:53,000
Speaker 1: stepped up for her. And she knows what he was

897
00:42:53,040 --> 00:42:55,960
Speaker 1: doing was not right. So one of the teenagers got

898
00:42:55,960 --> 00:42:58,160
Speaker 1: into it with their mom. This is one of the

899
00:42:58,200 --> 00:43:02,600
Speaker 1: teenagers of Opie's brisk and now is becoming ex wife,

900
00:43:02,640 --> 00:43:06,200
Speaker 1: and she called child services on her mom. I have

901
00:43:06,320 --> 00:43:08,680
Speaker 1: no idea who is right or wrong. This teenager can

902
00:43:08,680 --> 00:43:10,840
Speaker 1: be drama, but so is their mom. It's really just

903
00:43:10,840 --> 00:43:13,359
Speaker 1: a taste of herown medicine. But now there's a whole

904
00:43:13,360 --> 00:43:16,640
Speaker 1: investigation going on, and my brother wonders if you may

905
00:43:16,760 --> 00:43:18,480
Speaker 1: end up with custody of them all.

906
00:43:18,560 --> 00:43:20,920
Speaker 4: Well, not if you're spending all your time drinking in

907
00:43:20,960 --> 00:43:21,760
Speaker 4: the spare bedroom.

908
00:43:22,080 --> 00:43:23,960
Speaker 1: Because he is the one of the good job who

909
00:43:23,960 --> 00:43:27,120
Speaker 1: can provide. I can tell he's not thrilled with this idea,

910
00:43:27,160 --> 00:43:28,560
Speaker 1: but he does love those kids.

911
00:43:28,600 --> 00:43:30,719
Speaker 4: I would hope. So. So he's out of the spare

912
00:43:30,719 --> 00:43:33,440
Speaker 4: bedroom now, right, he moved out, so he's getting the

913
00:43:33,520 --> 00:43:36,440
Speaker 4: drinking maybe under control to some levels.

914
00:43:36,560 --> 00:43:39,200
Speaker 1: So he continually worries. My mom is sick with all this.

915
00:43:39,600 --> 00:43:41,759
Speaker 1: I hear her on the phone multiple times a day

916
00:43:41,880 --> 00:43:43,760
Speaker 1: since I work from home, trying to be his therapist,

917
00:43:43,960 --> 00:43:46,080
Speaker 1: telling him to go about it, find a bigger place,

918
00:43:46,160 --> 00:43:48,600
Speaker 1: enrolling them in different schools and making it work if

919
00:43:48,640 --> 00:43:51,399
Speaker 1: he gets them. But I can also tell from these

920
00:43:51,440 --> 00:43:55,359
Speaker 1: conversations that he's trying to get her to assist him

921
00:43:55,480 --> 00:43:59,319
Speaker 1: with it. Again, this mom has like no money. Yeah,

922
00:43:59,520 --> 00:44:01,959
Speaker 1: the mom is living with op because she has no money,

923
00:44:02,000 --> 00:44:04,040
Speaker 1: and any money that she does have is going to

924
00:44:04,080 --> 00:44:07,279
Speaker 1: like support these kids. There's no way she can do that,

925
00:44:07,360 --> 00:44:09,680
Speaker 1: and if she volunteers to do it, that will all

926
00:44:09,719 --> 00:44:12,240
Speaker 1: just fall on me. And I cannot take it anymore.

927
00:44:12,239 --> 00:44:15,120
Speaker 1: I've had some female health problems of my own, and

928
00:44:15,200 --> 00:44:18,600
Speaker 1: I'm probably going to have to have major surgery. I

929
00:44:18,640 --> 00:44:21,120
Speaker 1: have nothing else to give right now. I have no

930
00:44:21,200 --> 00:44:23,440
Speaker 1: children on my own, so I've always doated on my

931
00:44:23,480 --> 00:44:26,360
Speaker 1: niece's nephews every vacation they've been on. I have provided

932
00:44:26,400 --> 00:44:29,640
Speaker 1: it and not the brag, but these have been nice vacations,

933
00:44:29,840 --> 00:44:32,320
Speaker 1: the beach, Disney, even a cruise.

934
00:44:32,600 --> 00:44:33,279
Speaker 4: I want to do.

935
00:44:33,280 --> 00:44:35,799
Speaker 1: This for them because we never got anything like that

936
00:44:35,920 --> 00:44:38,839
Speaker 1: growing up. I've also paid for every single school lunch

937
00:44:38,840 --> 00:44:40,840
Speaker 1: for every one of them since they've been in school.

938
00:44:41,080 --> 00:44:43,120
Speaker 1: I know that seems minor, but when you think about

939
00:44:43,120 --> 00:44:45,760
Speaker 1: two fifty a day per child time six.

940
00:44:45,680 --> 00:44:48,280
Speaker 4: That adds up. And I've had them.

941
00:44:48,160 --> 00:44:50,319
Speaker 1: On a regular basis for years there at least with

942
00:44:50,440 --> 00:44:53,480
Speaker 1: me one weekend a month, sometimes two. Some of the

943
00:44:53,520 --> 00:44:55,880
Speaker 1: older ones do their own things now, but they are

944
00:44:55,920 --> 00:44:59,800
Speaker 1: always invited. I've also always attended all events at school.

945
00:45:00,080 --> 00:45:03,560
Speaker 1: School staff know me by first name. My brother works often,

946
00:45:03,640 --> 00:45:05,960
Speaker 1: and his wife has never been really interested in the

947
00:45:06,040 --> 00:45:08,319
Speaker 1: kids unless they are babies. So it sounds like the

948
00:45:08,400 --> 00:45:11,360
Speaker 1: wife has not been interested in the kids since their babies.

949
00:45:11,600 --> 00:45:14,160
Speaker 1: The brother hasn't really been there for any of his

950
00:45:14,200 --> 00:45:16,480
Speaker 1: six kids, including the seventh kid that he had from

951
00:45:16,520 --> 00:45:19,520
Speaker 1: another marriage, right, the exiled kid, the exile kid, and

952
00:45:19,560 --> 00:45:23,560
Speaker 1: then ope, the sister and the mom are the ones

953
00:45:23,680 --> 00:45:24,840
Speaker 1: raising these six kids.

954
00:45:25,080 --> 00:45:27,520
Speaker 4: Yeah, from the sounds of it, yes, that's a lot

955
00:45:27,560 --> 00:45:31,040
Speaker 4: to put on everyone else. Yeah, well, you know, hopefully

956
00:45:31,080 --> 00:45:32,440
Speaker 4: at some point you know, the kids get to that

957
00:45:32,480 --> 00:45:34,719
Speaker 4: age where they just start raising each other. Riley knows

958
00:45:34,719 --> 00:45:36,719
Speaker 4: what I'm talking about. Yeah, brother, Sharpen's brother.

959
00:45:36,760 --> 00:45:38,879
Speaker 1: It's like kickstarting an engine. You know, you gotta hold

960
00:45:38,920 --> 00:45:41,520
Speaker 1: the lawnmower a couple times and then yeah, and you

961
00:45:41,680 --> 00:45:43,880
Speaker 1: know that the family just got But then you know,

962
00:45:43,920 --> 00:45:45,600
Speaker 1: you get a couple ten year olds in there, they

963
00:45:45,640 --> 00:45:48,480
Speaker 1: babysit the three year old. So I've been at school

964
00:45:48,520 --> 00:45:51,680
Speaker 1: for holiday lunches, parties, field days, plays, awards, et cetera.

965
00:45:51,760 --> 00:45:53,799
Speaker 1: And again, I do these things because I want to.

966
00:45:53,840 --> 00:45:56,840
Speaker 1: I love my nieces and nephews. But here's where the

967
00:45:56,960 --> 00:46:01,439
Speaker 1: new problem arises. I guess because I have done so much,

968
00:46:01,840 --> 00:46:05,480
Speaker 1: it's almost expected now. Ope, he's being taken for granted. Yeah,

969
00:46:05,520 --> 00:46:07,239
Speaker 1: because of all this work she's been doing for these

970
00:46:07,280 --> 00:46:08,040
Speaker 1: six kids.

971
00:46:08,160 --> 00:46:10,560
Speaker 4: Well, you know, you sent us to the beach, you

972
00:46:10,680 --> 00:46:13,160
Speaker 4: sent us to Disney, you put us on that big boat.

973
00:46:13,480 --> 00:46:16,080
Speaker 4: You know what's next? That's all we want.

974
00:46:16,640 --> 00:46:19,239
Speaker 1: Yeah, what's next? You've sent the bar high a lot

975
00:46:19,280 --> 00:46:22,040
Speaker 1: of money. How much is a Disney beach cruise? Riley?

976
00:46:22,160 --> 00:46:25,040
Speaker 4: I saw fifteen g's for for a family of four,

977
00:46:25,200 --> 00:46:26,320
Speaker 4: which that's pretty steep.

978
00:46:26,440 --> 00:46:26,600
Speaker 2: Day.

979
00:46:26,719 --> 00:46:28,240
Speaker 4: I don't know if that's accurate.

980
00:46:27,920 --> 00:46:30,200
Speaker 5: A family of four thirty two hundred to ten grand

981
00:46:30,360 --> 00:46:30,800
Speaker 5: or more.

982
00:46:30,920 --> 00:46:31,640
Speaker 1: How long is it?

983
00:46:31,680 --> 00:46:32,760
Speaker 4: The three day one.

984
00:46:32,560 --> 00:46:34,520
Speaker 5: Is twenty five hundred for a family of four, and

985
00:46:34,560 --> 00:46:38,120
Speaker 5: a seven night is like four k a person.

986
00:46:38,320 --> 00:46:41,080
Speaker 4: What does that look like four k a person?

987
00:46:41,320 --> 00:46:44,920
Speaker 1: Well, here's where the problem arises, I guess, because I

988
00:46:44,920 --> 00:46:48,040
Speaker 1: have done so much, it's almost expected now as if

989
00:46:48,040 --> 00:46:51,640
Speaker 1: I'm the third parent, but I am not. So I've

990
00:46:51,640 --> 00:46:53,440
Speaker 1: felt for a while my brother is hinting to my

991
00:46:53,520 --> 00:46:55,680
Speaker 1: mom for us to help in some way. I have

992
00:46:55,800 --> 00:46:58,080
Speaker 1: made it clear I do not want him moving in

993
00:46:58,160 --> 00:47:01,239
Speaker 1: my house with all those children a basement, which he

994
00:47:01,239 --> 00:47:04,400
Speaker 1: has mentioned more than once. I work from home and

995
00:47:04,480 --> 00:47:07,160
Speaker 1: I need to have quiet areas, and quite honestly, I

996
00:47:07,200 --> 00:47:08,840
Speaker 1: do not want to do that. I want to be

997
00:47:08,840 --> 00:47:10,960
Speaker 1: the cool aunt. If I wanted to be a mom daily,

998
00:47:11,600 --> 00:47:14,120
Speaker 1: I would have had my own kids.

999
00:47:14,320 --> 00:47:18,120
Speaker 4: Yeah, exactly. This is not a what's yours' mind situation.

1000
00:47:18,840 --> 00:47:20,960
Speaker 1: And even if he's not hinting in that direction, he

1001
00:47:21,040 --> 00:47:23,360
Speaker 1: still seems to be wanting our help in some capacity

1002
00:47:23,400 --> 00:47:25,440
Speaker 1: if he gets custody. I don't think it's right to

1003
00:47:25,440 --> 00:47:29,280
Speaker 1: be obligated. Again, we are not the parents of course,

1004
00:47:29,640 --> 00:47:32,239
Speaker 1: since our mom already raised a kid for him, I

1005
00:47:32,239 --> 00:47:34,960
Speaker 1: think her helping seems perfectly normal for him. But there

1006
00:47:34,960 --> 00:47:37,160
Speaker 1: are two things wrong with that. First of all, she's

1007
00:47:37,239 --> 00:47:41,160
Speaker 1: not fifty years old anymore. She is almost eighty years

1008
00:47:41,239 --> 00:47:43,640
Speaker 1: old and not in good health. And the second thing

1009
00:47:43,760 --> 00:47:46,160
Speaker 1: is that even if she agrees to anything, it will

1010
00:47:46,200 --> 00:47:49,360
Speaker 1: be her basically volunteering me, as I am her caregiver.

1011
00:47:49,800 --> 00:47:53,080
Speaker 4: So hello, she's like, oh, yeah, i'd do that, and

1012
00:47:53,160 --> 00:47:54,360
Speaker 4: can you do this for me?

1013
00:47:54,560 --> 00:47:57,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, she doesn't have the mental or physical faculties.

1014
00:47:57,719 --> 00:47:58,319
Speaker 4: She can't do it.

1015
00:47:58,320 --> 00:48:01,440
Speaker 1: You can barely get out of bed, old bag of bones.

1016
00:48:01,719 --> 00:48:03,320
Speaker 4: Yeah, we love our old bags.

1017
00:48:03,400 --> 00:48:03,919
Speaker 3: We love our.

1018
00:48:03,800 --> 00:48:07,440
Speaker 4: Old bags of bones. They can't raise three children, though, Yeah,

1019
00:48:07,560 --> 00:48:09,759
Speaker 4: because those there's three that are still young, and then

1020
00:48:09,760 --> 00:48:12,120
Speaker 4: there's three more that are older. But they're still teenagers,

1021
00:48:12,160 --> 00:48:14,200
Speaker 4: so they're not all the way grown up. They're at

1022
00:48:14,200 --> 00:48:16,000
Speaker 4: the age where they can take care of themselves. Yeah.

1023
00:48:16,080 --> 00:48:18,160
Speaker 1: But today I had to take a couple of hours

1024
00:48:18,200 --> 00:48:20,279
Speaker 1: off of work to take her to a doctor's point.

1025
00:48:20,360 --> 00:48:23,000
Speaker 1: By the way, I'm the only one who ever does this, OPI.

1026
00:48:23,000 --> 00:48:24,239
Speaker 1: He is the only one that ever does that any

1027
00:48:24,400 --> 00:48:29,400
Speaker 1: So where's brother, dude? Where is brother. Brother's drinking himself away,

1028
00:48:29,800 --> 00:48:31,399
Speaker 1: I think, but he has his own place. He's drinking

1029
00:48:31,440 --> 00:48:34,080
Speaker 1: himself into a last week you heard.

1030
00:48:34,120 --> 00:48:36,360
Speaker 4: Still not happy about that though. I'd almost rather you

1031
00:48:36,400 --> 00:48:38,759
Speaker 4: be drinking yourself into a hole in the guest room

1032
00:48:38,800 --> 00:48:39,680
Speaker 4: instead of at least.

1033
00:48:39,520 --> 00:48:41,400
Speaker 1: Where we can moan in your own place. We don't

1034
00:48:41,520 --> 00:48:44,759
Speaker 1: know that he is drinking himself into a hole, but

1035
00:48:44,800 --> 00:48:46,600
Speaker 1: that's where he was last.

1036
00:48:46,360 --> 00:48:49,960
Speaker 4: Well, it definitely feels like a great internal excuse to

1037
00:48:50,000 --> 00:48:51,440
Speaker 4: be like, well, this is why I can't be a

1038
00:48:51,440 --> 00:48:53,799
Speaker 4: good parent. Yeah, this is why I'm not showing up.

1039
00:48:53,840 --> 00:48:54,840
Speaker 4: You have to do it all for me.

1040
00:48:55,080 --> 00:48:57,399
Speaker 1: Well, since she lives with me and I work from home,

1041
00:48:57,440 --> 00:49:00,720
Speaker 1: my siblings just always assume I will do its work hours.

1042
00:49:00,719 --> 00:49:02,640
Speaker 1: I still to make those up. But I have just

1043
00:49:02,760 --> 00:49:04,440
Speaker 1: learned to pick my battle. So we got in her

1044
00:49:04,480 --> 00:49:07,879
Speaker 1: car and I could tell something was bothering her. Then

1045
00:49:08,560 --> 00:49:12,080
Speaker 1: out of nowhere, she says, if Child Services decides kids

1046
00:49:12,120 --> 00:49:15,040
Speaker 1: can't stay with their mom, I will not let them

1047
00:49:15,080 --> 00:49:19,080
Speaker 1: go to foster care. We will have to take them

1048
00:49:19,120 --> 00:49:20,920
Speaker 1: in About going to the dad.

1049
00:49:20,840 --> 00:49:24,600
Speaker 4: It's like we need to get dad back in life,

1050
00:49:24,640 --> 00:49:25,400
Speaker 4: living shape.

1051
00:49:25,480 --> 00:49:28,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, it sounds like OPE, can't take those kids in.

1052
00:49:28,280 --> 00:49:31,160
Speaker 1: I mean, and that's fair, and that's totally fair. It

1053
00:49:31,320 --> 00:49:34,399
Speaker 1: sucks for the kids, but you know, like if OP

1054
00:49:34,520 --> 00:49:36,160
Speaker 1: can't really take them in, like that's.

1055
00:49:36,120 --> 00:49:38,480
Speaker 4: Maybe the exile daughter can take them in. Just good

1056
00:49:38,480 --> 00:49:38,759
Speaker 4: at it.

1057
00:49:38,800 --> 00:49:41,359
Speaker 1: Hey, I know you have a few kids of your own,

1058
00:49:41,360 --> 00:49:43,040
Speaker 1: but can you take these six kids?

1059
00:49:43,120 --> 00:49:45,600
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm sorry, I wasn't there for you when you

1060
00:49:45,680 --> 00:49:46,440
Speaker 4: were growing up.

1061
00:49:46,520 --> 00:49:48,120
Speaker 1: Really well, we have to.

1062
00:49:48,040 --> 00:49:48,480
Speaker 4: Take them in.

1063
00:49:48,680 --> 00:49:50,880
Speaker 1: I have no idea where that came from. So I

1064
00:49:50,880 --> 00:49:55,440
Speaker 1: reminded her that they have a whole other parent, her son,

1065
00:49:55,600 --> 00:49:58,360
Speaker 1: and that as long as they are two able bodied parents,

1066
00:49:58,719 --> 00:50:01,279
Speaker 1: that's who they need to be. For some reason, this

1067
00:50:01,320 --> 00:50:02,840
Speaker 1: made her so mad she spent the rest of the

1068
00:50:02,920 --> 00:50:05,759
Speaker 1: ride ignoring me. And if it ever really came down

1069
00:50:05,760 --> 00:50:08,360
Speaker 1: to that, of course I would not let my nieces

1070
00:50:08,400 --> 00:50:10,439
Speaker 1: and nephews go to foster care. But I don't want

1071
00:50:10,440 --> 00:50:13,040
Speaker 1: to even offer this as an option, as I feel

1072
00:50:13,200 --> 00:50:15,959
Speaker 1: their parents will take advantage of it. And I hate

1073
00:50:16,000 --> 00:50:17,920
Speaker 1: to say that about my brother, but he has been

1074
00:50:18,000 --> 00:50:19,640
Speaker 1: enabled so much that I think he would so. I

1075
00:50:19,680 --> 00:50:22,440
Speaker 1: honestly think he would let our elderly mom do the

1076
00:50:22,480 --> 00:50:24,959
Speaker 1: lion's share of it all if I was not there

1077
00:50:25,080 --> 00:50:28,319
Speaker 1: playing defense. I called my sister this is sister number

1078
00:50:28,320 --> 00:50:30,879
Speaker 1: two for help, asking her to confirm and tell her

1079
00:50:30,920 --> 00:50:33,239
Speaker 1: mom that there is no way we can care for

1080
00:50:33,320 --> 00:50:36,880
Speaker 1: children at her age and health. She responded back with

1081
00:50:36,920 --> 00:50:39,520
Speaker 1: a text message saying, I don't want to be in

1082
00:50:39,520 --> 00:50:42,520
Speaker 1: the middle of this like I do. I just feel

1083
00:50:42,560 --> 00:50:45,800
Speaker 1: so defeated. These are problems that adults made for themselves,

1084
00:50:45,840 --> 00:50:48,839
Speaker 1: and they should be the ones stressing on them and

1085
00:50:48,840 --> 00:50:50,960
Speaker 1: figuring them out. I went to check out my mom

1086
00:50:50,960 --> 00:50:53,160
Speaker 1: before bed and give her her night medicines, and she

1087
00:50:53,239 --> 00:50:56,080
Speaker 1: informed me that if anything happens, she will be taking

1088
00:50:56,080 --> 00:50:58,600
Speaker 1: the kids in. I just had nothing left to argue

1089
00:50:58,640 --> 00:51:01,920
Speaker 1: with tonight, a lot of pain with my own health issues,

1090
00:51:01,920 --> 00:51:04,160
Speaker 1: and I'm stressed to the max. But I guess tomorrow

1091
00:51:04,480 --> 00:51:07,200
Speaker 1: I'm going to have to remind her that this is

1092
00:51:07,280 --> 00:51:09,360
Speaker 1: my home. I had to play that card, as I

1093
00:51:09,400 --> 00:51:12,360
Speaker 1: always wanted her to feel at home, but it's my house,

1094
00:51:12,400 --> 00:51:14,760
Speaker 1: and again I would not let my nieces and nephews

1095
00:51:14,760 --> 00:51:17,280
Speaker 1: go to foster care. She also told me, though, today

1096
00:51:17,400 --> 00:51:19,560
Speaker 1: that I must not love them as much as I say,

1097
00:51:19,719 --> 00:51:22,279
Speaker 1: or else I would be stepping up and taking over.

1098
00:51:23,160 --> 00:51:27,000
Speaker 1: That is not my place and it's not her place. Either.

1099
00:51:27,080 --> 00:51:30,160
Speaker 1: I mean again, I feel like OP saying, hey, I'm

1100
00:51:30,160 --> 00:51:34,959
Speaker 1: not gonna like totally abandon these kids. I just want

1101
00:51:35,280 --> 00:51:39,920
Speaker 1: the father to have the ability or the opportunity to

1102
00:51:40,080 --> 00:51:42,640
Speaker 1: step up and step in before we take that weight

1103
00:51:42,880 --> 00:51:43,840
Speaker 1: off of his shoulders.

1104
00:51:44,200 --> 00:51:46,839
Speaker 4: Right, It's like the first move shouldn't be like, all right,

1105
00:51:46,920 --> 00:51:49,080
Speaker 4: well we need to put all the kids into foster

1106
00:51:49,239 --> 00:51:52,480
Speaker 4: care because they then you know, the parents aren't able.

1107
00:51:52,600 --> 00:51:55,160
Speaker 4: But it's like the father could be able, and OP

1108
00:51:55,400 --> 00:51:57,600
Speaker 4: is fair in being like, I can't do this.

1109
00:51:58,120 --> 00:52:01,640
Speaker 1: Give the father the chance to, you know, say yes.

1110
00:52:02,200 --> 00:52:04,640
Speaker 1: I feel like the mother is being like no, no, no,

1111
00:52:04,760 --> 00:52:07,920
Speaker 1: he couldn't possibly take care of six kids. But they

1112
00:52:07,920 --> 00:52:09,759
Speaker 1: are his kids, and he did take care of them

1113
00:52:09,800 --> 00:52:11,319
Speaker 1: for at least some period of time.

1114
00:52:11,600 --> 00:52:13,120
Speaker 4: I don't know, dude, Like, if you're in the middle

1115
00:52:13,120 --> 00:52:16,200
Speaker 4: of an episode, it's not a great environment. We can't

1116
00:52:16,239 --> 00:52:18,160
Speaker 4: just put our hands up and be like, well, there's

1117
00:52:18,200 --> 00:52:20,600
Speaker 4: nothing to be done about that. I guess now OP

1118
00:52:20,840 --> 00:52:22,360
Speaker 4: has to adopt six children.

1119
00:52:22,600 --> 00:52:26,200
Speaker 1: Crazy. It's like, no, she's not gonna let this go easily.

1120
00:52:26,520 --> 00:52:29,040
Speaker 1: It's more a control thing with her, and in the

1121
00:52:29,040 --> 00:52:32,040
Speaker 1: fact that she has of enabling my brother, it makes

1122
00:52:32,080 --> 00:52:34,319
Speaker 1: me feel like a giant a hole. But I don't

1123
00:52:34,360 --> 00:52:36,799
Speaker 1: think I'm wrong for setting these boundaries. Me doing so

1124
00:52:36,880 --> 00:52:39,600
Speaker 1: much for these kids is now becoming a punishment for me, because,

1125
00:52:39,640 --> 00:52:42,240
Speaker 1: as I asked her earlier, why is so much expected

1126
00:52:42,239 --> 00:52:44,640
Speaker 1: of me? But she does not expect the same for

1127
00:52:44,760 --> 00:52:47,000
Speaker 1: my sister, who is also the other aunt. Yeah, there's

1128
00:52:47,000 --> 00:52:49,799
Speaker 1: this other sister that could also help. That just was like,

1129
00:52:50,040 --> 00:52:52,880
Speaker 1: I don't even want to get yep, anywhere near this

1130
00:52:53,080 --> 00:52:57,360
Speaker 1: mess because seth, it does seem like a mess. And

1131
00:52:57,400 --> 00:52:59,759
Speaker 1: her comeback was that my sister has not even been

1132
00:53:00,040 --> 00:53:02,520
Speaker 1: close to them like I have, so me being a

1133
00:53:02,520 --> 00:53:05,239
Speaker 1: good aunt means I'm supposed to take everything on. I

1134
00:53:05,320 --> 00:53:08,880
Speaker 1: just feel so taken advantage of by people I've helped.

1135
00:53:08,960 --> 00:53:11,640
Speaker 4: I mean in a way that definitely makes sense that

1136
00:53:11,719 --> 00:53:15,240
Speaker 4: it's like if you've been the one providing the most

1137
00:53:15,520 --> 00:53:16,400
Speaker 4: for the kids.

1138
00:53:16,560 --> 00:53:20,920
Speaker 1: We do have an update, So there have really not

1139
00:53:21,040 --> 00:53:23,319
Speaker 1: been big changes over the last few days since I

1140
00:53:23,360 --> 00:53:26,959
Speaker 1: posted this, except for me holding my ground more making

1141
00:53:27,000 --> 00:53:29,719
Speaker 1: it clear I'm not going to do that. My mom

1142
00:53:29,760 --> 00:53:32,279
Speaker 1: ignored me the whole next day, and the day after

1143
00:53:32,320 --> 00:53:34,840
Speaker 1: that she began trying to be nice. She wants to

1144
00:53:34,920 --> 00:53:37,640
Speaker 1: be either spoken to, my sister or thought it through

1145
00:53:37,680 --> 00:53:41,120
Speaker 1: and realized I am the one in control, but I'm

1146
00:53:41,160 --> 00:53:43,320
Speaker 1: not some control freek who has to call the shots

1147
00:53:43,440 --> 00:53:46,279
Speaker 1: be in this situation. I wanted some peace. She did

1148
00:53:46,360 --> 00:53:49,400
Speaker 1: mention yesterday that if my brother really needs her, she

1149
00:53:49,480 --> 00:53:52,040
Speaker 1: will go to him, and I told her that she

1150
00:53:52,080 --> 00:53:54,880
Speaker 1: was an adult and that was her choice, but I

1151
00:53:54,920 --> 00:53:57,319
Speaker 1: also said she needs to think about her health. I

1152
00:53:57,360 --> 00:54:00,560
Speaker 1: also heard her over the phone with her sister, and

1153
00:54:00,600 --> 00:54:03,000
Speaker 1: I only heard a little bit of it as I

1154
00:54:03,080 --> 00:54:06,160
Speaker 1: was bringing groceries in while she was trying to keep

1155
00:54:06,160 --> 00:54:08,360
Speaker 1: her on the porch. I try not to listen to

1156
00:54:08,360 --> 00:54:11,120
Speaker 1: any of it to keep my sanity. Her sister was

1157
00:54:11,160 --> 00:54:14,000
Speaker 1: telling her that she should really consider going to the

1158
00:54:14,040 --> 00:54:16,439
Speaker 1: assist of Living where her friends are. I also heard

1159
00:54:16,440 --> 00:54:18,760
Speaker 1: my aunt saying that I had enough on me already.

1160
00:54:19,040 --> 00:54:22,400
Speaker 1: She mentioned this morning that even if she decided to

1161
00:54:22,480 --> 00:54:26,040
Speaker 1: go to assist a Living, they have no openings until

1162
00:54:26,040 --> 00:54:29,320
Speaker 1: the first of the year, so she must have actually

1163
00:54:29,360 --> 00:54:31,960
Speaker 1: spoken to her friends about it. But then she also

1164
00:54:32,000 --> 00:54:35,400
Speaker 1: casually mentioned this morning when I brought her breakfast, that

1165
00:54:35,480 --> 00:54:38,480
Speaker 1: she worries she will go there. Then my brother will

1166
00:54:38,480 --> 00:54:41,600
Speaker 1: need her help with the kids. I told her that

1167
00:54:41,680 --> 00:54:44,440
Speaker 1: she had nothing else left to give those kids except

1168
00:54:44,560 --> 00:54:47,520
Speaker 1: visiting with them when she can. I informed her she

1169
00:54:47,560 --> 00:54:49,759
Speaker 1: had already raised one child for him, and that this

1170
00:54:49,880 --> 00:54:51,880
Speaker 1: was her time to be with her friends and arrest,

1171
00:54:52,360 --> 00:54:54,000
Speaker 1: and it was my time to do what I want

1172
00:54:54,000 --> 00:54:56,879
Speaker 1: to do too. I also told her, by neither one

1173
00:54:56,920 --> 00:54:59,720
Speaker 1: of us doing it, it would actually build a strong

1174
00:55:00,160 --> 00:55:03,359
Speaker 1: or relationship between him and his kids, not to mention

1175
00:55:03,560 --> 00:55:05,879
Speaker 1: that the older ones help a lot with the younger ones.

1176
00:55:06,000 --> 00:55:08,440
Speaker 1: She actually agreed, but I also see that she's having

1177
00:55:08,480 --> 00:55:11,359
Speaker 1: a hard time not rushing to help him. She never

1178
00:55:11,400 --> 00:55:13,600
Speaker 1: said she was sorry, she rarely ever does, but she

1179
00:55:13,640 --> 00:55:15,879
Speaker 1: did say that she helps him more because he's willing

1180
00:55:15,920 --> 00:55:18,160
Speaker 1: to ask for it. I reminded her that the very

1181
00:55:18,239 --> 00:55:20,279
Speaker 1: few times my sister and I asked for help when

1182
00:55:20,320 --> 00:55:23,319
Speaker 1: we were still very young teenagers, she told us to

1183
00:55:23,360 --> 00:55:25,600
Speaker 1: figure it out, so so we did, and ours were

1184
00:55:25,600 --> 00:55:27,640
Speaker 1: never big. Asked one time I needed help with college

1185
00:55:27,640 --> 00:55:30,080
Speaker 1: student aid paperwork, and she said she had no idea

1186
00:55:30,080 --> 00:55:32,359
Speaker 1: how to do it and shut me down. I didn't

1187
00:55:32,400 --> 00:55:34,960
Speaker 1: want money, just assurance. I never asked for help with

1188
00:55:35,000 --> 00:55:38,040
Speaker 1: anything again. I told her that us figuring things out

1189
00:55:38,120 --> 00:55:40,560
Speaker 1: young really helped us so much. The long one she

1190
00:55:40,680 --> 00:55:43,640
Speaker 1: looked into hard though and sad at the same time.

1191
00:55:44,239 --> 00:55:46,719
Speaker 1: Even though physically she's not what she once was, my

1192
00:55:46,760 --> 00:55:49,520
Speaker 1: mom is still very mentally sharp. I could tell she

1193
00:55:49,600 --> 00:55:52,160
Speaker 1: knew I was right about that. Then I noticed my

1194
00:55:52,239 --> 00:55:54,960
Speaker 1: brother I'd called me twice this afternoon. I have not

1195
00:55:55,160 --> 00:55:57,600
Speaker 1: heard from him at all over the weekend because I'm

1196
00:55:57,600 --> 00:56:00,239
Speaker 1: assuming she told him we had gotten into it about that.

1197
00:56:00,680 --> 00:56:02,759
Speaker 1: She hears from him multiple times a day, and for

1198
00:56:02,840 --> 00:56:05,319
Speaker 1: him to call twice back to back makes me think

1199
00:56:05,360 --> 00:56:07,799
Speaker 1: it's going to be one of those emergency situations. If

1200
00:56:07,880 --> 00:56:10,600
Speaker 1: anybody can make him out in Old Mohill, it's him

1201
00:56:10,840 --> 00:56:13,240
Speaker 1: or else. He's just waited too long to do something,

1202
00:56:13,280 --> 00:56:16,359
Speaker 1: and now it's a dire situation, which he says most

1203
00:56:16,400 --> 00:56:19,080
Speaker 1: issues are. Man is the man who cried wolf all

1204
00:56:19,120 --> 00:56:21,759
Speaker 1: the time. But either way, I'm not rushing to call

1205
00:56:21,800 --> 00:56:24,319
Speaker 1: him back. I have not felt well all day. Right now,

1206
00:56:24,320 --> 00:56:26,120
Speaker 1: I'm just going to focus on my health and my

1207
00:56:26,200 --> 00:56:29,319
Speaker 1: health alone getting into the specialist the first part of

1208
00:56:29,320 --> 00:56:32,640
Speaker 1: the September. The emeric cannot come quick enough. Thanks everyone again,

1209
00:56:32,760 --> 00:56:34,880
Speaker 1: and we have another update. All right, Well, what are

1210
00:56:34,920 --> 00:56:37,319
Speaker 1: you thinking? Are you thinking this mom is going to

1211
00:56:37,400 --> 00:56:42,359
Speaker 1: just take responsibility once again for the brother's kids, or

1212
00:56:42,400 --> 00:56:45,880
Speaker 1: do you think we'll finally have this brother do the

1213
00:56:45,960 --> 00:56:48,680
Speaker 1: thing that he must, which is take care of six goods.

1214
00:56:48,760 --> 00:56:52,399
Speaker 4: I'm hoping that the brother wakes up here. I'm hoping

1215
00:56:52,480 --> 00:56:55,720
Speaker 4: we can get some top down pressure on the brother,

1216
00:56:55,880 --> 00:56:59,879
Speaker 4: some positive pressure, because it's really dicey thing to try

1217
00:56:59,920 --> 00:57:04,080
Speaker 4: to like prompt someone into action when they're doing things

1218
00:57:04,080 --> 00:57:07,719
Speaker 4: that are wrong or bad, because if you just go

1219
00:57:07,840 --> 00:57:10,400
Speaker 4: you're doing wrong things and you're bad. A lot of

1220
00:57:10,400 --> 00:57:13,320
Speaker 4: times that will just make someone do more wrong, bad

1221
00:57:13,400 --> 00:57:15,160
Speaker 4: things because now they feel worse.

1222
00:57:15,239 --> 00:57:17,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, shame is not a motivator, like you said, Earlieres,

1223
00:57:17,880 --> 00:57:19,680
Speaker 1: It's not a good long term motivator. I think you

1224
00:57:19,720 --> 00:57:23,520
Speaker 1: can shame someone into doing something right for an afternoon,

1225
00:57:23,880 --> 00:57:25,720
Speaker 1: but I don't know if you can shame someone into

1226
00:57:25,760 --> 00:57:28,760
Speaker 1: doing something right for like a lifetime. Right, we got

1227
00:57:28,760 --> 00:57:31,720
Speaker 1: an update. We got an update too, though. So I've

1228
00:57:31,760 --> 00:57:36,800
Speaker 1: stood strong and absolutely refused to be dragged into the

1229
00:57:36,840 --> 00:57:40,680
Speaker 1: drama or manipulated into taking kids in that have two

1230
00:57:40,720 --> 00:57:43,320
Speaker 1: able body parents. Every time my mom or he has

1231
00:57:43,320 --> 00:57:46,360
Speaker 1: brought it up, I have shut them down and walked away. Well,

1232
00:57:46,400 --> 00:57:48,560
Speaker 1: my mom purposely gets on the phone speaking to him

1233
00:57:48,560 --> 00:57:50,760
Speaker 1: loudly when I can hear. I just turn on my

1234
00:57:50,960 --> 00:57:52,240
Speaker 1: fan and get back.

1235
00:57:52,080 --> 00:57:57,240
Speaker 4: To clarification really quick. Didn't like CPS say the mother

1236
00:57:57,480 --> 00:57:58,200
Speaker 4: was not fit.

1237
00:57:58,400 --> 00:58:01,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, so I guess the other is able bodied, but

1238
00:58:01,600 --> 00:58:03,120
Speaker 1: maybe not able minded.

1239
00:58:03,280 --> 00:58:05,880
Speaker 4: This state has been like, oh, you can't have anything.

1240
00:58:05,640 --> 00:58:07,880
Speaker 1: You can't have those kids. So I too able bodied.

1241
00:58:08,480 --> 00:58:10,520
Speaker 1: While that might be true, I don't know if we

1242
00:58:10,560 --> 00:58:14,240
Speaker 1: want this around the able bodied mom because the mine

1243
00:58:14,280 --> 00:58:15,160
Speaker 1: seems a little off.

1244
00:58:15,560 --> 00:58:17,760
Speaker 4: Yeah, she just wants babies.

1245
00:58:17,640 --> 00:58:20,040
Speaker 1: Just wants babies, just for three years. I just turn

1246
00:58:20,120 --> 00:58:22,120
Speaker 1: on my fan and get back to work. Well. Then

1247
00:58:22,600 --> 00:58:25,360
Speaker 1: tonight my brother called me drinking, as he always does

1248
00:58:25,400 --> 00:58:27,360
Speaker 1: on the weekends, and he said he wasn't, but it

1249
00:58:27,400 --> 00:58:29,800
Speaker 1: was very obvious he was. I've not answered many of

1250
00:58:29,880 --> 00:58:31,880
Speaker 1: his calls for last month or so, but he called

1251
00:58:31,920 --> 00:58:34,880
Speaker 1: me twice in a row, so I thought something was wrong.

1252
00:58:34,960 --> 00:58:36,880
Speaker 1: It started off pretty well, as he knows, I am

1253
00:58:36,960 --> 00:58:39,400
Speaker 1: done with the drama. He asked how I was and

1254
00:58:39,480 --> 00:58:42,320
Speaker 1: how work was going. He's only come by twice to

1255
00:58:42,320 --> 00:58:44,280
Speaker 1: see her mom, but both times I was on a

1256
00:58:44,280 --> 00:58:47,120
Speaker 1: work calls. But then he snuck in something he knew

1257
00:58:47,120 --> 00:58:49,720
Speaker 1: would bother me. He said that his soon to be

1258
00:58:49,880 --> 00:58:53,080
Speaker 1: ex wife had been spending the money he's giving her

1259
00:58:53,560 --> 00:58:57,560
Speaker 1: on frivolous things. Therefore, he did not think she had

1260
00:58:57,640 --> 00:59:01,040
Speaker 1: paid the house notes where she and kids live, so

1261
00:59:01,120 --> 00:59:04,920
Speaker 1: I guess, like the rent, I will say that he

1262
00:59:05,080 --> 00:59:07,320
Speaker 1: has sent her a good amount of money every month,

1263
00:59:07,360 --> 00:59:09,560
Speaker 1: because my niece told me how much it was a

1264
00:59:09,560 --> 00:59:12,280
Speaker 1: while back, and he does pay it the first of

1265
00:59:12,600 --> 00:59:15,360
Speaker 1: every month. Now the wife is working, bringing in her

1266
00:59:15,400 --> 00:59:18,400
Speaker 1: own full time income, she should have enough to pay

1267
00:59:18,600 --> 00:59:22,160
Speaker 1: what all of them need. Their mortgage isn't very high,

1268
00:59:22,440 --> 00:59:25,120
Speaker 1: but again not mydeal. What she originally wanted was for

1269
00:59:25,200 --> 00:59:27,400
Speaker 1: him to pay all the bills up there and still

1270
00:59:27,440 --> 00:59:30,360
Speaker 1: pay his own bills too. Well, that's not how things work.

1271
00:59:30,480 --> 00:59:32,560
Speaker 1: But I don't think they have a formal agreement to

1272
00:59:32,680 --> 00:59:34,880
Speaker 1: the courts yet. And before anyone asks, I have no

1273
00:59:34,960 --> 00:59:37,440
Speaker 1: idea why he hasn't filed or what's going on. I'm

1274
00:59:37,440 --> 00:59:39,280
Speaker 1: trying my best to stay out of it. I feel

1275
00:59:39,320 --> 00:59:41,640
Speaker 1: for someone who's trying to stay out of it. You know,

1276
00:59:41,760 --> 00:59:44,000
Speaker 1: a lot seems like you've been forced into it.

1277
00:59:44,160 --> 00:59:44,880
Speaker 4: You're clued in.

1278
00:59:45,240 --> 00:59:47,360
Speaker 1: You're clued in, whether you want to be or not.

1279
00:59:47,600 --> 00:59:50,360
Speaker 4: You're tapped, you've got your finger on the pulse of

1280
00:59:50,400 --> 00:59:51,400
Speaker 4: what's going on here.

1281
00:59:51,720 --> 00:59:55,440
Speaker 1: I don't feel like OP likes that pulse. That pulse

1282
00:59:55,480 --> 00:59:56,600
Speaker 1: seems like a drag.

1283
00:59:56,760 --> 01:00:00,280
Speaker 4: And it really does sound like, at least financially, like

1284
01:00:00,640 --> 01:00:04,680
Speaker 4: brother is more than capable of taking care of his kids.

1285
01:00:04,960 --> 01:00:08,040
Speaker 1: Yes, but also it seems like he's sending money. But

1286
01:00:08,120 --> 01:00:08,680
Speaker 1: I feel like.

1287
01:00:08,880 --> 01:00:11,680
Speaker 4: He's sending money to her and she's the one spending

1288
01:00:11,720 --> 01:00:12,240
Speaker 4: it all.

1289
01:00:12,240 --> 01:00:15,160
Speaker 1: Or get dragged into being taken advantage of. So he

1290
01:00:15,240 --> 01:00:17,760
Speaker 1: said if they lose the house, to probably be taking

1291
01:00:17,760 --> 01:00:19,880
Speaker 1: the kids and moving back to her home state, and

1292
01:00:19,920 --> 01:00:22,520
Speaker 1: I wouldn't see the kids. He then said the only

1293
01:00:22,600 --> 01:00:25,440
Speaker 1: option would be if I could take them in. So

1294
01:00:25,520 --> 01:00:28,760
Speaker 1: there it was the reason he called. I remembered all

1295
01:00:28,800 --> 01:00:30,360
Speaker 1: the great advice I got on here and did not

1296
01:00:30,480 --> 01:00:32,880
Speaker 1: fall for it. I told him he would have to

1297
01:00:32,920 --> 01:00:35,600
Speaker 1: take them in. He is their father, after all. I

1298
01:00:35,640 --> 01:00:38,160
Speaker 1: am just their aunt who already takes care of our mother,

1299
01:00:38,560 --> 01:00:40,800
Speaker 1: and I have gone far and beyond what most aunts do.

1300
01:00:40,960 --> 01:00:43,040
Speaker 4: I feel like after hearing that on the phone, he

1301
01:00:43,240 --> 01:00:46,080
Speaker 4: just let out like a yeah, you know I need it.

1302
01:00:46,160 --> 01:00:50,400
Speaker 4: I'll take care of my kids. Mom, Mom, I'll send

1303
01:00:50,440 --> 01:00:51,040
Speaker 4: it again.

1304
01:00:51,640 --> 01:00:54,960
Speaker 5: If this guy was smart, he could literally like build

1305
01:00:55,120 --> 01:00:57,640
Speaker 5: a like a empire with these kids and get.

1306
01:00:57,480 --> 01:00:59,840
Speaker 4: As much wanted excuse with the kids.

1307
01:01:00,080 --> 01:01:02,960
Speaker 5: Yeah, dude, hey, hear me out. You somehow figure out

1308
01:01:02,960 --> 01:01:05,120
Speaker 5: how to make it. You teach the kids, you make

1309
01:01:05,120 --> 01:01:08,280
Speaker 5: it fun, and then boom, hey, I need to here

1310
01:01:08,320 --> 01:01:10,920
Speaker 5: you go, Dad, You always get one and it's profitable.

1311
01:01:11,000 --> 01:01:15,280
Speaker 1: You have your kids start a microbrewery in the garage.

1312
01:01:15,360 --> 01:01:19,120
Speaker 4: In the Bible of Riley Moonshawan, page one in big

1313
01:01:19,200 --> 01:01:22,160
Speaker 4: bold letters is child labor. It worked out well. You

1314
01:01:22,280 --> 01:01:24,880
Speaker 4: know what Riley's gonna do with his kids, Put him

1315
01:01:24,920 --> 01:01:25,240
Speaker 4: to work.

1316
01:01:25,320 --> 01:01:26,120
Speaker 1: Put him to work.

1317
01:01:26,320 --> 01:01:28,800
Speaker 4: Yeah, a lot of my cousins did, Moonshean. It worked

1318
01:01:28,800 --> 01:01:29,200
Speaker 4: out fun.

1319
01:01:29,360 --> 01:01:31,680
Speaker 1: He started rambling some excuse on why he couldn't do it.

1320
01:01:31,720 --> 01:01:34,480
Speaker 1: Apartment too small, nobody keep the younger ones after school,

1321
01:01:34,520 --> 01:01:37,840
Speaker 1: blah blah blah, none of which made any sense. But

1322
01:01:37,880 --> 01:01:40,000
Speaker 1: I did not fall for the threat. I told him

1323
01:01:40,320 --> 01:01:42,600
Speaker 1: I would hate for that to happen, but only he

1324
01:01:42,720 --> 01:01:45,680
Speaker 1: was in the position to stop it. That I love

1325
01:01:45,760 --> 01:01:48,280
Speaker 1: my nieces and nephews completely, but I was not taking

1326
01:01:48,320 --> 01:01:51,640
Speaker 1: anyone in this house. I was at a friend's house

1327
01:01:51,640 --> 01:01:53,640
Speaker 1: and did not take long. My friend was so proud

1328
01:01:53,640 --> 01:01:56,120
Speaker 1: of me I swear that he gets to drinking and

1329
01:01:56,120 --> 01:01:58,560
Speaker 1: feeling down about the mess of life. He wants to

1330
01:01:58,600 --> 01:02:01,520
Speaker 1: ruin someone else's night, or he wants attention. Not sure

1331
01:02:01,520 --> 01:02:03,800
Speaker 1: what it is, and I have no desire to figure

1332
01:02:03,800 --> 01:02:06,560
Speaker 1: it out. I am worried about the moving away. His

1333
01:02:06,560 --> 01:02:08,920
Speaker 1: wife's family are not the best people. Does anyone know

1334
01:02:09,000 --> 01:02:11,360
Speaker 1: if she can legally do that. I cannot let my

1335
01:02:11,480 --> 01:02:13,960
Speaker 1: mom or brother know I'm worried about it, or they

1336
01:02:13,960 --> 01:02:16,320
Speaker 1: will use that to twist my arm.

1337
01:02:16,840 --> 01:02:17,959
Speaker 4: This whole thing really sucks.

1338
01:02:18,000 --> 01:02:19,840
Speaker 1: Of course, when I got home, I had already called

1339
01:02:19,840 --> 01:02:22,760
Speaker 1: my mom and I was not gone more than an hour.

1340
01:02:22,960 --> 01:02:25,600
Speaker 1: She tried to start to saying what a hard situation

1341
01:02:25,720 --> 01:02:28,160
Speaker 1: he was in. Once again, I remembered all the awesome

1342
01:02:28,160 --> 01:02:31,000
Speaker 1: advice I got here, and I just said, he is

1343
01:02:31,120 --> 01:02:34,240
Speaker 1: an adults and got himself into this situation. I am

1344
01:02:34,280 --> 01:02:36,600
Speaker 1: sure he will figure it out and be better for it.

1345
01:02:36,960 --> 01:02:38,800
Speaker 1: I think she has finally accepted that she can no

1346
01:02:38,880 --> 01:02:43,040
Speaker 1: longer enable him, and I'm not going to do it either.

1347
01:02:43,200 --> 01:02:45,120
Speaker 1: Good and she is not happy. I went back out

1348
01:02:45,120 --> 01:02:46,880
Speaker 1: there a few minutes ago and told her that I

1349
01:02:46,920 --> 01:02:49,640
Speaker 1: would help her get ready for bed and get her medicine.

1350
01:02:49,840 --> 01:02:52,280
Speaker 1: Her comeback was that I did not care about her

1351
01:02:52,600 --> 01:02:55,240
Speaker 1: and she she just would not take her medicine. She

1352
01:02:55,320 --> 01:02:58,000
Speaker 1: said she would be better off passed away, and that

1353
01:02:58,080 --> 01:03:01,440
Speaker 1: family helps family, which I suddenly didn't want to do.

1354
01:03:01,680 --> 01:03:04,000
Speaker 1: I didn't fall for it. I have helped my family

1355
01:03:04,040 --> 01:03:06,920
Speaker 1: repeatedly and nothing changed. I would hate for that to happen,

1356
01:03:07,040 --> 01:03:08,920
Speaker 1: or to not see my niece's nephews. But I'm not

1357
01:03:08,920 --> 01:03:13,200
Speaker 1: going to be emotionally blackmailed anymore, and I am already

1358
01:03:13,280 --> 01:03:16,240
Speaker 1: one step ahead knowing what they will try next. My

1359
01:03:16,320 --> 01:03:18,280
Speaker 1: mom will say that he wants to move in here

1360
01:03:18,320 --> 01:03:20,400
Speaker 1: with the kids where they don't have to move away,

1361
01:03:20,520 --> 01:03:23,320
Speaker 1: and that we will just have to help him with them,

1362
01:03:23,680 --> 01:03:25,880
Speaker 1: and by we it means me, and by help it

1363
01:03:25,880 --> 01:03:28,439
Speaker 1: means me doing it all. Because he will go on

1364
01:03:28,560 --> 01:03:30,560
Speaker 1: about his life paying for things and me doing the

1365
01:03:30,600 --> 01:03:33,080
Speaker 1: grunt work. That is going to be a heck.

1366
01:03:33,160 --> 01:03:33,200
Speaker 4: No.

1367
01:03:33,640 --> 01:03:35,720
Speaker 1: If you also claimed he was not drinking anymore, I

1368
01:03:35,800 --> 01:03:38,800
Speaker 1: told her that was not true and he was wasted tonight.

1369
01:03:39,360 --> 01:03:43,400
Speaker 1: Mom will literally believe anything he tells her. Actually quite sad,

1370
01:03:43,800 --> 01:03:45,840
Speaker 1: But you know what's not sad, in fact, makes me

1371
01:03:46,040 --> 01:03:49,280
Speaker 1: extremely happy. Dakota. What would that be is that you

1372
01:03:49,320 --> 01:03:51,920
Speaker 1: can listen to full episodes with stories just like this.

1373
01:03:52,040 --> 01:03:55,000
Speaker 1: Go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or your favorite podcast app

1374
01:03:55,040 --> 01:03:58,480
Speaker 1: and search. Okay, story time, there's a little bit more

1375
01:03:58,520 --> 01:04:02,360
Speaker 1: to the story, Dakota. But any final thoughts before we

1376
01:04:02,400 --> 01:04:04,440
Speaker 1: get into the end of this thing.

1377
01:04:04,560 --> 01:04:08,680
Speaker 4: I'm like trying to contain all of my rage, Yeah

1378
01:04:08,720 --> 01:04:13,240
Speaker 4: that I feel towards this brother, but also like I

1379
01:04:13,240 --> 01:04:16,000
Speaker 4: feel like he's taking no responsibility.

1380
01:04:16,160 --> 01:04:19,720
Speaker 1: The mom is enabling and also taking responsibility from him

1381
01:04:19,760 --> 01:04:22,440
Speaker 1: and shifting it to Ope. It might just be like

1382
01:04:22,520 --> 01:04:26,560
Speaker 1: OPI is the most like competent person, most competent and

1383
01:04:26,920 --> 01:04:31,840
Speaker 1: emotionally available person in the family, and so just everything

1384
01:04:31,880 --> 01:04:34,800
Speaker 1: gets thrown on her. Yeah, clearly it's been her role

1385
01:04:34,960 --> 01:04:36,520
Speaker 1: for years and years and years.

1386
01:04:36,680 --> 01:04:41,560
Speaker 4: But I'm wondering where the pressure on brother is. Maybe

1387
01:04:41,560 --> 01:04:43,919
Speaker 4: it's just been it's a dynamic where it's just been

1388
01:04:44,080 --> 01:04:47,120
Speaker 4: so long that it's like we've given up. If you're like,

1389
01:04:47,200 --> 01:04:48,680
Speaker 4: I am not taking care of these kids and brother

1390
01:04:48,760 --> 01:04:50,680
Speaker 4: needs to do it, like a good way to go

1391
01:04:50,760 --> 01:04:53,080
Speaker 4: about that would be to take an active role and

1392
01:04:53,200 --> 01:04:55,080
Speaker 4: like trying to get him to change.

1393
01:04:54,960 --> 01:04:57,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, which it does not seem like anyone is doing.

1394
01:04:57,240 --> 01:05:00,960
Speaker 4: But that's the only solution that's gonna make everybody happy

1395
01:05:01,360 --> 01:05:03,680
Speaker 4: is if you get your brother to wake up.

1396
01:05:03,920 --> 01:05:05,600
Speaker 1: Well, we got a little bit more to the story.

1397
01:05:05,680 --> 01:05:07,880
Speaker 1: Let's see if the brother wakes up before the end.

1398
01:05:07,960 --> 01:05:09,320
Speaker 1: So I'm trying to be as strong as I can.

1399
01:05:09,360 --> 01:05:11,160
Speaker 1: Whenever I feel weak, I get back on here and

1400
01:05:11,160 --> 01:05:13,200
Speaker 1: look the great advice I received. I did end up

1401
01:05:13,200 --> 01:05:15,440
Speaker 1: having the surgery, and when they got in there, it

1402
01:05:15,520 --> 01:05:16,600
Speaker 1: was not as nearly bad as I.

1403
01:05:16,600 --> 01:05:18,160
Speaker 4: Thought, and I've been recovering really well.

1404
01:05:18,200 --> 01:05:20,520
Speaker 1: But of course, the minute any of this starts, I

1405
01:05:20,560 --> 01:05:23,320
Speaker 1: instantly feel sick to my stomach. That is another reason

1406
01:05:23,440 --> 01:05:25,560
Speaker 1: I am avoiding it. I've always been very healthy, and

1407
01:05:25,560 --> 01:05:28,320
Speaker 1: suddenly my body is telling me I cannot take this anymore,

1408
01:05:28,680 --> 01:05:31,160
Speaker 1: So I have to listen to it. Hope everyone as well,

1409
01:05:31,400 --> 01:05:35,880
Speaker 1: and good night. And that is where this story, and.

1410
01:05:36,200 --> 01:05:39,680
Speaker 4: It's truly just a situation where it sucks all around,

1411
01:05:40,400 --> 01:05:44,120
Speaker 4: but none of it is on Op's shoulders and it's

1412
01:05:44,160 --> 01:05:44,880
Speaker 4: not fair.

1413
01:05:45,160 --> 01:05:48,760
Speaker 1: But that's where that story ends. Hey, it's Sam. We're

1414
01:05:48,760 --> 01:05:50,640
Speaker 1: gonna get back to these stories. But here's three bits

1415
01:05:50,640 --> 01:05:52,640
Speaker 1: of ads from our sponsors that keep the show alive.

1416
01:05:53,280 --> 01:05:57,680
Speaker 1: My brother's fiance is tearing our family aparts.

1417
01:05:57,520 --> 01:06:00,720
Speaker 4: I refuse to attend their wedding. Well that's good reason.

1418
01:06:01,080 --> 01:06:05,240
Speaker 1: My brother, twenty one male let's call him Sam, is

1419
01:06:05,280 --> 01:06:08,840
Speaker 1: getting married next week to his twenty eight slash twenty

1420
01:06:08,960 --> 01:06:12,800
Speaker 1: nine female girlfriend. Long story short on how they met.

1421
01:06:13,040 --> 01:06:16,360
Speaker 1: He was stationed in Korea for the military for a

1422
01:06:16,400 --> 01:06:20,440
Speaker 1: few years and met the only Hispanic woman there. That's

1423
01:06:20,440 --> 01:06:23,600
Speaker 1: his type. We didn't know this girl or her background.

1424
01:06:23,640 --> 01:06:27,120
Speaker 1: And by the way, this comes from dangerous item four

1425
01:06:27,280 --> 01:06:30,040
Speaker 1: seven five eight and if you want to submit your

1426
01:06:30,040 --> 01:06:32,280
Speaker 1: own stories, go to our slash Okay storytime sub read it.

1427
01:06:32,320 --> 01:06:36,240
Speaker 1: So later on, we found out in December that he

1428
01:06:36,440 --> 01:06:41,000
Speaker 1: had gotten her pregnant, the classic classic. My family was

1429
01:06:41,040 --> 01:06:44,200
Speaker 1: extremely shocked because my brother had no interest in settling down.

1430
01:06:44,200 --> 01:06:46,840
Speaker 1: I mean, he was like twenty one, let alone having kids.

1431
01:06:47,120 --> 01:06:49,320
Speaker 1: As time flew by, I was more focused on graduating

1432
01:06:49,400 --> 01:06:51,440
Speaker 1: high school, so I wasn't focused on my brother at

1433
01:06:51,440 --> 01:06:54,200
Speaker 1: the time, except when my mom came to me one

1434
01:06:54,240 --> 01:06:58,200
Speaker 1: day to talk about Sam's girlfriend, who will call Sally.

1435
01:06:58,720 --> 01:07:01,640
Speaker 1: My mother explains some one thing that absolutely made my

1436
01:07:01,800 --> 01:07:05,040
Speaker 1: eyes pop out of my head. Oh my god. Sally

1437
01:07:05,080 --> 01:07:08,040
Speaker 1: had three other kids and still lived with her so

1438
01:07:08,080 --> 01:07:09,320
Speaker 1: called ex husband.

1439
01:07:09,000 --> 01:07:10,600
Speaker 4: When they say that ep your friends close, keep your

1440
01:07:10,680 --> 01:07:15,360
Speaker 4: enemies closer. That's crazy. Keep your ex husbands right next to.

1441
01:07:15,240 --> 01:07:16,880
Speaker 1: You, right next to you in the same house. I

1442
01:07:16,920 --> 01:07:18,960
Speaker 1: didn't quite agree with their living situation, but I try

1443
01:07:18,960 --> 01:07:20,840
Speaker 1: to keep it cool because I love my older brother.

1444
01:07:21,080 --> 01:07:23,480
Speaker 1: Over time, my family planned many things to try to

1445
01:07:23,480 --> 01:07:26,240
Speaker 1: get close with Sally to learn more about her. For context,

1446
01:07:26,320 --> 01:07:28,880
Speaker 1: I have five siblings, including my older brother. I'm the

1447
01:07:28,920 --> 01:07:31,320
Speaker 1: second oldest. My brother and I have different dads, and

1448
01:07:31,360 --> 01:07:34,360
Speaker 1: the little ones have my stepdad. After she had my

1449
01:07:34,400 --> 01:07:37,560
Speaker 1: baby nephew, everyone was beyond excited to meet with him.

1450
01:07:37,760 --> 01:07:39,960
Speaker 1: So when she finally came to the States, we greeted

1451
01:07:40,000 --> 01:07:42,400
Speaker 1: her with nothing but love and respect. Keep that in mind,

1452
01:07:42,400 --> 01:07:44,160
Speaker 1: by the way, my baby nephew is an angel and

1453
01:07:44,200 --> 01:07:46,680
Speaker 1: the cutest thing. But a little part of me couldn't

1454
01:07:46,720 --> 01:07:51,160
Speaker 1: help but wonder where her other kids were. Turns out

1455
01:07:51,200 --> 01:07:53,440
Speaker 1: they live with their dad, and not only that, he

1456
01:07:53,520 --> 01:07:56,600
Speaker 1: has full custody of them. For some reason, that didn't

1457
01:07:56,600 --> 01:07:58,920
Speaker 1: sit right with me, because I'd been told he was

1458
01:07:58,920 --> 01:08:01,400
Speaker 1: a horrible person or any We spent time with my

1459
01:08:01,440 --> 01:08:03,960
Speaker 1: older brother through the summer, at least tried to, but

1460
01:08:04,040 --> 01:08:06,440
Speaker 1: Sam hasn't exactly been in contact with most of the family,

1461
01:08:06,440 --> 01:08:08,080
Speaker 1: and month after a month, it got more strained.

1462
01:08:08,520 --> 01:08:09,600
Speaker 4: Fast forward to the next year.

1463
01:08:09,720 --> 01:08:12,160
Speaker 1: I nineteen, female, moved out of my hometown and in

1464
01:08:12,840 --> 01:08:15,280
Speaker 1: with my boyfriend, so I usually kept tabs on my

1465
01:08:15,320 --> 01:08:19,000
Speaker 1: family back home. During this time, barely anyone had been

1466
01:08:19,080 --> 01:08:21,280
Speaker 1: hearing from my brother. He and my mom had got

1467
01:08:21,280 --> 01:08:23,320
Speaker 1: into a fight about how they hadn't given the baby

1468
01:08:23,360 --> 01:08:26,479
Speaker 1: nephew any sort of vaccines or doctor's visits since he's

1469
01:08:26,520 --> 01:08:28,840
Speaker 1: been in the States. He's almost two and has been

1470
01:08:28,880 --> 01:08:31,599
Speaker 1: there for nine months. Not only that, but he doesn't

1471
01:08:31,600 --> 01:08:35,200
Speaker 1: have proper childcare insurance. My brother took the fault for it,

1472
01:08:35,240 --> 01:08:38,439
Speaker 1: as he's been paying for Sally's stay in the States

1473
01:08:38,520 --> 01:08:41,439
Speaker 1: because she doesn't live here. She can come here legally.

1474
01:08:41,479 --> 01:08:44,479
Speaker 1: By the way, the only reason she stays here is

1475
01:08:44,479 --> 01:08:46,760
Speaker 1: that my brother got stationed back here a year ago

1476
01:08:46,800 --> 01:08:50,519
Speaker 1: in Texas and we live in Louisiana. After a while,

1477
01:08:51,040 --> 01:08:54,639
Speaker 1: everything seemed good. They were planning move in together once

1478
01:08:54,680 --> 01:08:57,120
Speaker 1: he found out where he'd be stationed next, so it

1479
01:08:57,160 --> 01:09:00,040
Speaker 1: seemed like everyone was getting along. But uh oh, so

1480
01:09:00,320 --> 01:09:03,120
Speaker 1: did I get that wrong. I was at work about

1481
01:09:03,120 --> 01:09:05,000
Speaker 1: two weeks ago and my mom called me keep in mind,

1482
01:09:05,040 --> 01:09:07,360
Speaker 1: she usually doesn't call me. I told her I was

1483
01:09:07,360 --> 01:09:10,000
Speaker 1: at work and asked if she could text me. She

1484
01:09:10,120 --> 01:09:12,439
Speaker 1: insisted on calling me to tell me what was going on.

1485
01:09:12,520 --> 01:09:15,080
Speaker 1: So I hurried through my tables and called her in

1486
01:09:15,160 --> 01:09:18,080
Speaker 1: my break room. She began by telling me how she

1487
01:09:18,160 --> 01:09:21,280
Speaker 1: might have just ruined her relationship with my brother. She

1488
01:09:21,400 --> 01:09:23,840
Speaker 1: told me that my brother and Sally I had called

1489
01:09:23,840 --> 01:09:27,760
Speaker 1: my grandmother about getting married. Excited, my mom went to

1490
01:09:27,800 --> 01:09:30,200
Speaker 1: tell her, thinking it would be a good idea for

1491
01:09:30,240 --> 01:09:32,400
Speaker 1: both of them to share the news. My mom isn't

1492
01:09:32,400 --> 01:09:35,000
Speaker 1: on good terms with Sally because of how she's neglected

1493
01:09:35,040 --> 01:09:37,800
Speaker 1: my nephew. My brother hasn't spoken any of us for

1494
01:09:37,960 --> 01:09:40,800
Speaker 1: months now and bails on plans to come see us

1495
01:09:40,840 --> 01:09:43,640
Speaker 1: on certain weekends. Also, she's been running in and out

1496
01:09:43,680 --> 01:09:46,680
Speaker 1: of the house preparing dinner for the family, and in Louisiana,

1497
01:09:46,760 --> 01:09:49,639
Speaker 1: the temperatures are fifty seven to eighty degrees outside and

1498
01:09:49,680 --> 01:09:51,679
Speaker 1: with her cooking on the grill, she's not a happy

1499
01:09:51,720 --> 01:09:54,840
Speaker 1: person because she's been outside all day sweating. And for

1500
01:09:54,880 --> 01:09:57,040
Speaker 1: everyone in the family, they know not to mess with

1501
01:09:57,120 --> 01:09:59,479
Speaker 1: Mom while she's cooking. That is true, you want to

1502
01:09:59,560 --> 01:10:02,679
Speaker 1: let the cook sometimes they need the domain of their kitchen.

1503
01:10:02,720 --> 01:10:05,600
Speaker 4: Too many cooks in the kitchen. If I'm cooking in

1504
01:10:05,640 --> 01:10:08,559
Speaker 4: the kitchen, which is rare, I don't want anybody stepping

1505
01:10:08,600 --> 01:10:09,160
Speaker 4: on my too.

1506
01:10:09,360 --> 01:10:12,240
Speaker 1: I like cooks in the kitchen, or one cook multiple suits.

1507
01:10:12,280 --> 01:10:15,679
Speaker 4: Maybe if we're like locked in and there's one more,

1508
01:10:16,280 --> 01:10:18,000
Speaker 4: maybe we're doing different stuff.

1509
01:10:18,240 --> 01:10:21,879
Speaker 1: Like someone's chopping onions while another person's chopping bell peppers.

1510
01:10:21,920 --> 01:10:24,080
Speaker 4: One person's chopping onions, the other one's crying.

1511
01:10:24,240 --> 01:10:26,639
Speaker 1: She tends to get aggravated the slightest thing when she's

1512
01:10:26,640 --> 01:10:29,320
Speaker 1: hot and sweaty. Well, my grandmother proceeded to run around,

1513
01:10:29,360 --> 01:10:31,120
Speaker 1: chasing her with the phone while she was in and

1514
01:10:31,120 --> 01:10:33,360
Speaker 1: out of the house, trying to get my brother to

1515
01:10:33,479 --> 01:10:36,519
Speaker 1: tell her, I guess, tell her that he's getting married.

1516
01:10:36,720 --> 01:10:38,080
Speaker 3: Tell me what's going on.

1517
01:10:38,560 --> 01:10:40,599
Speaker 1: What they should have done was called my mom when

1518
01:10:40,640 --> 01:10:43,040
Speaker 1: she wasn't busy and talked to her. My mom snapped,

1519
01:10:43,040 --> 01:10:45,320
Speaker 1: as she usually does, saying, Okay, I'm busy, I don't

1520
01:10:45,360 --> 01:10:47,759
Speaker 1: have time for this right now. My grandmother was shocked

1521
01:10:47,760 --> 01:10:49,799
Speaker 1: and continue to tell my brother that she was happy

1522
01:10:49,840 --> 01:10:52,479
Speaker 1: for them, even if my mom wasn't happy, I guess

1523
01:10:52,840 --> 01:10:55,479
Speaker 1: that they were getting married. This fuels my mom anger

1524
01:10:55,520 --> 01:10:58,120
Speaker 1: even more after she finished dinner, she still heard my

1525
01:10:58,160 --> 01:11:01,760
Speaker 1: grandmother on the phone with my brother and Sally. She

1526
01:11:01,880 --> 01:11:04,080
Speaker 1: walked into the room and went off about how my

1527
01:11:04,160 --> 01:11:07,719
Speaker 1: brother is involved with us and never tells us anything.

1528
01:11:08,120 --> 01:11:10,720
Speaker 1: It's like he's completely shut us out. He doesn't talk

1529
01:11:10,760 --> 01:11:12,920
Speaker 1: to our siblings, and not only to our siblings, but

1530
01:11:12,960 --> 01:11:15,360
Speaker 1: he also doesn't talk to our parents. My mother has

1531
01:11:15,400 --> 01:11:18,679
Speaker 1: expressed how she couldn't be happy about something that he's

1532
01:11:18,680 --> 01:11:22,360
Speaker 1: refused to share with us and has kept us uninvolved

1533
01:11:22,880 --> 01:11:25,559
Speaker 1: with his own life. Keep in mind, he never told

1534
01:11:25,560 --> 01:11:27,840
Speaker 1: my mom happy birthday and told me a week after

1535
01:11:27,880 --> 01:11:30,200
Speaker 1: my birthday to say it as well. He doesn't chicken

1536
01:11:30,680 --> 01:11:32,799
Speaker 1: nor does he respond any of us. So it sounds

1537
01:11:32,880 --> 01:11:37,280
Speaker 1: like what I'm hearing is this brother meets this girl

1538
01:11:37,320 --> 01:11:40,120
Speaker 1: while he's stationed away in Korea and kind of has

1539
01:11:40,240 --> 01:11:43,720
Speaker 1: like pushed his family to the side, just focused on

1540
01:11:43,760 --> 01:11:47,240
Speaker 1: this girl and his budding baby, and the family is

1541
01:11:47,280 --> 01:11:49,360
Speaker 1: a little bit out of the loop about what's going on.

1542
01:11:50,240 --> 01:11:52,760
Speaker 1: And he's like, hey, I'm getting married, and the mom's like,

1543
01:11:52,960 --> 01:11:55,760
Speaker 1: I don't care. You haven't really kept in touch. I

1544
01:11:55,800 --> 01:11:58,800
Speaker 1: don't know if that is the best move on the mom.

1545
01:11:59,080 --> 01:12:02,080
Speaker 1: But also, you know, the son should definitely be, you know,

1546
01:12:02,600 --> 01:12:03,880
Speaker 1: reaching out a little bit more.

1547
01:12:03,960 --> 01:12:06,840
Speaker 4: You shouldn't just be going, hey, guess who's getting married? Also,

1548
01:12:07,080 --> 01:12:09,759
Speaker 4: nice talking to you for the first time in three years.

1549
01:12:09,840 --> 01:12:11,360
Speaker 1: I don't know. I feel like both are kind of

1550
01:12:11,360 --> 01:12:14,479
Speaker 1: doing wrong things right here an idea on both fronts,

1551
01:12:14,640 --> 01:12:16,040
Speaker 1: But what do you think, Like, do you think the

1552
01:12:16,120 --> 01:12:18,719
Speaker 1: mom should be like, you know, you have been talking

1553
01:12:18,760 --> 01:12:21,120
Speaker 1: to me, so I'm not gonna talk to you. I

1554
01:12:21,160 --> 01:12:22,720
Speaker 1: don't care about you wedding now.

1555
01:12:22,760 --> 01:12:24,720
Speaker 4: I think once you get approached with this, you got

1556
01:12:24,800 --> 01:12:27,720
Speaker 4: to play a little more tactically instead of immediately just

1557
01:12:27,760 --> 01:12:29,719
Speaker 4: being like who do you think you are? You gotta

1558
01:12:29,760 --> 01:12:32,559
Speaker 4: be happy first and then be like, hey, so, like,

1559
01:12:32,920 --> 01:12:36,559
Speaker 4: did your wife isolate you from everyone else in your life?

1560
01:12:36,640 --> 01:12:39,240
Speaker 1: That's what it seems like is happening again. He's like

1561
01:12:39,360 --> 01:12:42,800
Speaker 1: twenty twenty one or something and she's twenty eight, twenty nine.

1562
01:12:42,920 --> 01:12:46,799
Speaker 1: That's a huge age gap, even dating like a twenty

1563
01:12:46,840 --> 01:12:50,120
Speaker 1: five year old, as I'm twenty eight currently seeing someone

1564
01:12:50,120 --> 01:12:52,920
Speaker 1: who's around twenty five, like that feels like a large

1565
01:12:52,960 --> 01:12:55,479
Speaker 1: age gap. But I feel like she's just been through

1566
01:12:55,520 --> 01:12:58,120
Speaker 1: a lot more life than him, and so can make

1567
01:12:58,200 --> 01:13:01,760
Speaker 1: him do things that are not necessarily normal and make

1568
01:13:01,840 --> 01:13:02,840
Speaker 1: him think that it's normal.

1569
01:13:02,920 --> 01:13:07,200
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's definitely a situation where the dynamic can be exploited.

1570
01:13:07,520 --> 01:13:10,600
Speaker 1: But I feel like in this case, it feels like

1571
01:13:10,800 --> 01:13:13,640
Speaker 1: he's being a little bit manipulated with like how isolated

1572
01:13:13,680 --> 01:13:15,120
Speaker 1: he has become from his family.

1573
01:13:15,160 --> 01:13:16,280
Speaker 4: But let me know what you guys think.

1574
01:13:16,400 --> 01:13:18,760
Speaker 1: Well, out of anger, my mom said that as far

1575
01:13:18,760 --> 01:13:22,240
Speaker 1: as she knows, she has no son. She left the

1576
01:13:22,320 --> 01:13:25,200
Speaker 1: room upset and called me. After hearing this, I expressed

1577
01:13:25,200 --> 01:13:27,599
Speaker 1: how upsetting that must feel. But before I could finish,

1578
01:13:27,720 --> 01:13:30,559
Speaker 1: my mom told me everything about Sally. The last time

1579
01:13:30,640 --> 01:13:32,720
Speaker 1: she was at our house, she told my brother that

1580
01:13:32,800 --> 01:13:35,720
Speaker 1: she would never come back because of the way we

1581
01:13:35,840 --> 01:13:39,040
Speaker 1: run our family. Remember, we didn't treat her anyway, which

1582
01:13:39,120 --> 01:13:41,200
Speaker 1: confused us. She went on and tell Sam that we

1583
01:13:41,200 --> 01:13:43,599
Speaker 1: shouldn't ask him about the baby or anything in his

1584
01:13:43,640 --> 01:13:46,599
Speaker 1: life without asking her first. She would nag and pick

1585
01:13:46,600 --> 01:13:48,599
Speaker 1: on my brother like he was stupid in front of us.

1586
01:13:48,840 --> 01:13:50,599
Speaker 1: Not only that, when she had to go to Mexico

1587
01:13:50,640 --> 01:13:53,280
Speaker 1: because if her granddad or dad was passing away, she

1588
01:13:53,360 --> 01:13:56,040
Speaker 1: took the baby and she lied about this whole sickness.

1589
01:13:56,479 --> 01:13:58,559
Speaker 1: My mom had seen photos of them at bars and

1590
01:13:58,640 --> 01:14:02,120
Speaker 1: drinking with her granddad or I can't remember. She's manipulated

1591
01:14:02,160 --> 01:14:03,960
Speaker 1: and lied to my brother several times, and he has

1592
01:14:04,000 --> 01:14:06,799
Speaker 1: sent huge amounts of money to her while she stayed

1593
01:14:06,800 --> 01:14:09,760
Speaker 1: in Korea. She's told my brother she will never go

1594
01:14:09,840 --> 01:14:12,320
Speaker 1: back to my family's house until they apologize to her

1595
01:14:12,640 --> 01:14:15,519
Speaker 1: and invite them over through her and not my brother.

1596
01:14:15,880 --> 01:14:17,800
Speaker 1: He also said that he wasn't allowed to go to

1597
01:14:17,880 --> 01:14:21,800
Speaker 1: his own parents' house without her being present. She is

1598
01:14:21,880 --> 01:14:22,639
Speaker 1: controlling him.

1599
01:14:22,680 --> 01:14:25,320
Speaker 4: When you're in a relationship and you start doing false imprisonment,

1600
01:14:25,560 --> 01:14:29,320
Speaker 4: essentially like it's not good. That's not a good relationship.

1601
01:14:29,360 --> 01:14:32,400
Speaker 4: She hasn't wrapped around her finger. Yes, in relationships sometimes

1602
01:14:32,400 --> 01:14:34,400
Speaker 4: they can tell you not to go places because they care.

1603
01:14:34,520 --> 01:14:36,639
Speaker 4: Right if you have a gambling problem, they're like, babe,

1604
01:14:36,760 --> 01:14:38,599
Speaker 4: don't go to the casino. You can't go to the casino.

1605
01:14:38,680 --> 01:14:40,799
Speaker 4: That's good, and being like you can't see your parents

1606
01:14:40,800 --> 01:14:42,000
Speaker 4: without me, kind of weird.

1607
01:14:42,240 --> 01:14:44,639
Speaker 1: Red flag after red flag we're getting with this couple.

1608
01:14:44,760 --> 01:14:48,000
Speaker 1: So hearing this shock me. I never talked to Sally

1609
01:14:48,280 --> 01:14:51,160
Speaker 1: because she was always quiet and looked at me like

1610
01:14:51,240 --> 01:14:54,800
Speaker 1: I was stupid. Personally thought I was the most easy

1611
01:14:54,880 --> 01:14:57,000
Speaker 1: going and loving person, so I kept my distance. After

1612
01:14:57,000 --> 01:14:59,240
Speaker 1: a while, after talking to my mom a bit more,

1613
01:14:59,240 --> 01:15:01,120
Speaker 1: we hung up the phone and I proceeded to text

1614
01:15:01,200 --> 01:15:03,519
Speaker 1: my brother. Before I could do that, my mom also

1615
01:15:03,520 --> 01:15:06,479
Speaker 1: forgot to mention that he had been planning on marrying

1616
01:15:06,520 --> 01:15:09,400
Speaker 1: her and never told me. To his knowledge. Until I

1617
01:15:09,400 --> 01:15:12,160
Speaker 1: texted him, he still hadn't told me. I put the

1618
01:15:12,160 --> 01:15:15,000
Speaker 1: screenshots below of what I texted my brother to make

1619
01:15:15,040 --> 01:15:17,559
Speaker 1: the shorter when I know it's probably long a sack. Anyway,

1620
01:15:17,640 --> 01:15:20,599
Speaker 1: my grandmother text me and asked, my brother has texted

1621
01:15:20,640 --> 01:15:23,160
Speaker 1: me about him getting married. I played dumb to avoid

1622
01:15:23,160 --> 01:15:25,280
Speaker 1: the family drama and said, no, when's he going to

1623
01:15:25,320 --> 01:15:27,200
Speaker 1: tell everyone? He hasn't spoke to me at all. She

1624
01:15:27,280 --> 01:15:29,600
Speaker 1: goes on to tell me that she's been talking to

1625
01:15:29,680 --> 01:15:32,400
Speaker 1: Sally because she hasn't been able to contact my brother

1626
01:15:32,439 --> 01:15:35,439
Speaker 1: for some reason. Because again Sally's like, you can only

1627
01:15:35,479 --> 01:15:37,040
Speaker 1: contact your family through me.

1628
01:15:37,360 --> 01:15:40,240
Speaker 4: Yeah, which is like absurd. Maybe this is like a

1629
01:15:40,280 --> 01:15:42,760
Speaker 4: first hot girlfriend scenario twenty one.

1630
01:15:43,080 --> 01:15:46,559
Speaker 1: She's twenty nine, dude, Honestly, that is a thing. I

1631
01:15:46,600 --> 01:15:48,920
Speaker 1: dated a girl who I was wrapped around her finger

1632
01:15:49,040 --> 01:15:52,000
Speaker 1: for sure. Anyway, she tells me their wedding would be

1633
01:15:52,040 --> 01:15:54,360
Speaker 1: at the end of this month. It's April. By the way,

1634
01:15:54,479 --> 01:15:56,800
Speaker 1: I was shocked to hear how fast this was going

1635
01:15:56,880 --> 01:15:58,800
Speaker 1: and said that I wouldn't make any changes with my

1636
01:15:58,880 --> 01:16:01,639
Speaker 1: work because on a weekday and because I hadn't been

1637
01:16:01,640 --> 01:16:04,680
Speaker 1: invited yet even though I'm family. I left it that

1638
01:16:04,800 --> 01:16:06,360
Speaker 1: and a few days later I found out that he's

1639
01:16:06,360 --> 01:16:08,160
Speaker 1: going to Korea in a few months, so we won't

1640
01:16:08,160 --> 01:16:10,160
Speaker 1: be able to see him for a few years. A

1641
01:16:10,160 --> 01:16:13,000
Speaker 1: few years. I am pregnant now and almost the entire

1642
01:16:13,040 --> 01:16:15,840
Speaker 1: birth and won't see my daughter until she's almost four.

1643
01:16:16,280 --> 01:16:18,960
Speaker 1: I'm very upset about this because we've always been close.

1644
01:16:19,040 --> 01:16:21,640
Speaker 1: By the way, you can listen and be close to

1645
01:16:21,720 --> 01:16:24,080
Speaker 1: us by listening to a full episode the stories just

1646
01:16:24,080 --> 01:16:26,160
Speaker 1: like this, go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or your favorite

1647
01:16:26,200 --> 01:16:30,679
Speaker 1: podcast app and search Okay, storytime, do you say my daughter? Yeah,

1648
01:16:30,760 --> 01:16:33,600
Speaker 1: Op's daughter is going to Korea. No, Opie's daughter is

1649
01:16:33,640 --> 01:16:35,800
Speaker 1: about to be born, and the guy is going to

1650
01:16:35,880 --> 01:16:37,240
Speaker 1: miss her daughter's birth.

1651
01:16:37,479 --> 01:16:39,839
Speaker 4: Anyway, I just misheard that My mom.

1652
01:16:39,680 --> 01:16:42,520
Speaker 1: Is very upset because not only is her relationship ruined

1653
01:16:43,200 --> 01:16:46,160
Speaker 1: with my brother, but she won't see her first grandchild

1654
01:16:46,280 --> 01:16:48,880
Speaker 1: until he's five to seven. I said to everyone in

1655
01:16:48,880 --> 01:16:50,559
Speaker 1: the family that I will not be attending until he

1656
01:16:50,560 --> 01:16:53,240
Speaker 1: apologize for letting this woman talk about her family, for

1657
01:16:53,320 --> 01:16:56,080
Speaker 1: disrespecting my mom, and for using my brother as a

1658
01:16:56,120 --> 01:17:00,400
Speaker 1: money bag. So am IDAO for not going to his wedding?

1659
01:17:00,600 --> 01:17:03,040
Speaker 1: Short answer, I don't think so. I think he's given

1660
01:17:03,080 --> 01:17:06,800
Speaker 1: you no notice. He's wrapped around this lady's finger. It

1661
01:17:06,840 --> 01:17:09,040
Speaker 1: feels like you don't have much obligation.

1662
01:17:09,400 --> 01:17:12,320
Speaker 4: I mean, this is one of those moments where I

1663
01:17:12,360 --> 01:17:14,120
Speaker 4: don't think you'd be in AO for not going to

1664
01:17:14,120 --> 01:17:16,960
Speaker 4: the wedding. Do I think that's the move I would make.

1665
01:17:17,360 --> 01:17:20,360
Speaker 4: I don't think so, because from my perspective, I look

1666
01:17:20,400 --> 01:17:22,719
Speaker 4: at situations like this where I'm like, am I letting

1667
01:17:23,080 --> 01:17:24,120
Speaker 4: his partner win?

1668
01:17:24,439 --> 01:17:26,519
Speaker 1: But that is where that story ends.