1 00:00:07,400 --> 00:00:11,840 Speaker 1: Welcome back, everybody. We're here to Bachelor Happy Hour's Golden Hour. 2 00:00:12,039 --> 00:00:15,080 Speaker 1: Kathy and I are so excited to join you again. 3 00:00:16,800 --> 00:00:19,560 Speaker 1: How excited are we to be back together? I know, right, 4 00:00:19,880 --> 00:00:22,080 Speaker 1: I mean, we've had busy weeks going on here right, 5 00:00:22,680 --> 00:00:23,639 Speaker 1: spring is sprung. 6 00:00:23,920 --> 00:00:26,000 Speaker 2: I'm out sweating walking. What have you been up to? 7 00:00:26,400 --> 00:00:30,160 Speaker 1: Breaking my arm? I mean my wrist surgeon. 8 00:00:30,400 --> 00:00:33,200 Speaker 2: I love it. Susan says, broke my arm. I keep saying, 9 00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:33,960 Speaker 2: you broke your wrist. 10 00:00:34,120 --> 00:00:38,000 Speaker 1: You still attached to my arm. It's part of my arm. 11 00:00:38,159 --> 00:00:39,880 Speaker 2: That is one way to look at it. All right, 12 00:00:40,320 --> 00:00:43,200 Speaker 2: we are going We're going to talk about Susan's wrist, 13 00:00:43,840 --> 00:00:46,360 Speaker 2: my dating life, and we're also going to answer more 14 00:00:46,440 --> 00:00:50,360 Speaker 2: of your fan questions. Please, y'all make sure you're submitting 15 00:00:50,400 --> 00:00:53,760 Speaker 2: to us. We love reading them, we love answering them. 16 00:00:54,160 --> 00:00:57,280 Speaker 2: It's super You know what to do. Go to Bachelor 17 00:00:57,360 --> 00:01:02,680 Speaker 2: nation dot com slash Golden Hour and submit away comments, questions. 18 00:01:02,800 --> 00:01:05,880 Speaker 2: Send it on to us, everything. 19 00:01:05,280 --> 00:01:08,720 Speaker 1: Because we want to know all of it. You know what? 20 00:01:08,760 --> 00:01:12,040 Speaker 1: You can also dm us on Instagram at batslor Happy Hour. 21 00:01:12,640 --> 00:01:14,600 Speaker 2: You know what, Susan, we love. We just got to 22 00:01:14,760 --> 00:01:17,960 Speaker 2: say this one more time. We love getting your updates. 23 00:01:18,160 --> 00:01:22,160 Speaker 2: So if we've answered one of your questions, please please 24 00:01:22,720 --> 00:01:24,720 Speaker 2: write us an update and tell us how things are 25 00:01:24,760 --> 00:01:26,360 Speaker 2: going for you, because we really want. 26 00:01:26,200 --> 00:01:28,399 Speaker 1: To whether you took our advice or not and you 27 00:01:28,480 --> 00:01:30,320 Speaker 1: did the opposite of what we said, but we want 28 00:01:30,319 --> 00:01:31,120 Speaker 1: to know the outcome. 29 00:01:31,319 --> 00:01:33,960 Speaker 2: Yeah, we do. That's what all right, that's what it's 30 00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:37,200 Speaker 2: all about. Okay, today we're going to get into the episode, 31 00:01:37,440 --> 00:01:40,440 Speaker 2: but first, as always, we're going to start with the 32 00:01:40,520 --> 00:01:46,040 Speaker 2: titillating question of the day. Here we go. You ready, 33 00:01:46,480 --> 00:01:51,560 Speaker 2: what does monogamy mean when dating in your senior years? 34 00:01:52,120 --> 00:01:56,280 Speaker 2: What off your long distance? Is it necessary to be monogamous? 35 00:01:56,680 --> 00:01:59,840 Speaker 2: And what does that look like? Is it just so 36 00:02:00,920 --> 00:02:02,600 Speaker 2: I need a drum roll here? What do you think? 37 00:02:02,800 --> 00:02:03,760 Speaker 1: Who? 38 00:02:03,960 --> 00:02:04,040 Speaker 2: So? 39 00:02:04,400 --> 00:02:08,640 Speaker 1: Monogamy is monogamy? It meant the same thing when I 40 00:02:08,680 --> 00:02:11,840 Speaker 1: was twenty thirty, forty fifty and sixty. 41 00:02:12,080 --> 00:02:14,600 Speaker 2: And what does it mean to you? Well, but you're 42 00:02:14,720 --> 00:02:18,000 Speaker 2: just you and him? What does it mean you're just 43 00:02:18,120 --> 00:02:21,480 Speaker 2: dating just having sex? Define it for me. Get out 44 00:02:21,560 --> 00:02:22,760 Speaker 2: your Webster's dictionary. 45 00:02:22,919 --> 00:02:28,000 Speaker 1: Well, see, for me, it's always a relationship with one person. 46 00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:30,280 Speaker 2: I'm not arguing with you. 47 00:02:30,360 --> 00:02:33,720 Speaker 1: I just included when you're in a relationship. I mean, 48 00:02:33,840 --> 00:02:39,680 Speaker 1: there's there's a friend with benefits. Is that monogamous? Well, 49 00:02:39,720 --> 00:02:42,640 Speaker 1: I don't know, because there's no means when there's just 50 00:02:42,680 --> 00:02:43,680 Speaker 1: a friend with benefits. 51 00:02:43,720 --> 00:02:47,560 Speaker 2: No, I mean way, I can honestly tell you. And 52 00:02:47,600 --> 00:02:49,680 Speaker 2: I'm not asking you because but I'm just telling you 53 00:02:49,760 --> 00:02:53,920 Speaker 2: I've never had a friend with benefits because to me, 54 00:02:54,520 --> 00:02:58,480 Speaker 2: sex is more than just hey, you know, let's have 55 00:02:58,520 --> 00:03:00,400 Speaker 2: sex tonight and get up and have and it's or 56 00:03:00,440 --> 00:03:01,320 Speaker 2: bagels in the morning. 57 00:03:01,400 --> 00:03:02,640 Speaker 1: I mean, that's just sex. 58 00:03:03,080 --> 00:03:03,960 Speaker 2: That's just sex. 59 00:03:04,040 --> 00:03:06,600 Speaker 1: Some people choose to and that's that. 60 00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:07,600 Speaker 2: I don't judge them. 61 00:03:07,680 --> 00:03:10,440 Speaker 1: And then it says, what if you're long distance? So 62 00:03:11,120 --> 00:03:14,200 Speaker 1: when I heard you say that that means sex, No, 63 00:03:14,400 --> 00:03:17,320 Speaker 1: the first thing that came to mind is trust issues. 64 00:03:18,800 --> 00:03:24,079 Speaker 2: Okay, let's go down that road. Let's go down that road. Okay, 65 00:03:24,520 --> 00:03:27,840 Speaker 2: So dating long distance, you know, I'm in a position 66 00:03:27,960 --> 00:03:31,160 Speaker 2: my kids are grown. I've always said, if I meet 67 00:03:31,160 --> 00:03:35,160 Speaker 2: the right guy, I'm I'm I'm leaving. I'm going to 68 00:03:35,240 --> 00:03:38,360 Speaker 2: be with that guy, and I'm going to travel, you know, 69 00:03:38,440 --> 00:03:41,960 Speaker 2: back to see my grandkids and my children. Having said that, 70 00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:46,400 Speaker 2: I if I have trust issues, I'm not going to 71 00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:46,800 Speaker 2: be with that. 72 00:03:46,840 --> 00:03:49,160 Speaker 1: Never work it could never work right. 73 00:03:49,560 --> 00:03:53,240 Speaker 2: I mean, but monogamy to me is I don't care 74 00:03:53,280 --> 00:03:55,440 Speaker 2: what age I agree with? These isn't I don't care 75 00:03:55,480 --> 00:04:00,880 Speaker 2: what age it is. Monogamy means one man one woman, 76 00:04:01,160 --> 00:04:04,040 Speaker 2: or two men and two women, whatever. It is two 77 00:04:04,080 --> 00:04:10,920 Speaker 2: people together and not with other uh, not with other 78 00:04:12,440 --> 00:04:18,320 Speaker 2: other people. However, I could be dating a guy, now, 79 00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:22,280 Speaker 2: could I have I'm asking you, could I have? I 80 00:04:22,279 --> 00:04:24,479 Speaker 2: have some male friends, could I could I still go 81 00:04:24,520 --> 00:04:24,880 Speaker 2: out with. 82 00:04:24,839 --> 00:04:29,440 Speaker 1: Them on a date or just go for dinner, hang 83 00:04:29,480 --> 00:04:33,880 Speaker 1: out friends, that's friends. But would you be okay if 84 00:04:33,920 --> 00:04:36,000 Speaker 1: he had female friends and went out? 85 00:04:36,440 --> 00:04:43,680 Speaker 2: I hate you, honestly. I think the thing is it 86 00:04:43,680 --> 00:04:47,839 Speaker 2: would depend on the guy's conversation. It's a conversation. I 87 00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:53,080 Speaker 2: know me, I know me. I have male friends, but 88 00:04:53,160 --> 00:04:55,680 Speaker 2: I'm not sleeping with them. You know, they're friends. We 89 00:04:55,760 --> 00:04:57,160 Speaker 2: got to dinner, I go to his house. 90 00:04:57,200 --> 00:04:58,039 Speaker 1: That's not a date. 91 00:04:59,520 --> 00:05:03,320 Speaker 2: Yeah, but I have to say, I'd have to really 92 00:05:04,680 --> 00:05:09,720 Speaker 2: be so comfortable with that guy that I'm with in 93 00:05:09,720 --> 00:05:13,599 Speaker 2: that monogamous relationship that every minute he's thinking about me 94 00:05:14,120 --> 00:05:15,440 Speaker 2: not I mean. 95 00:05:16,040 --> 00:05:19,080 Speaker 1: How exactly you have to have the trust and understand? 96 00:05:19,120 --> 00:05:22,560 Speaker 2: Now, are you a trusting person? Because I am too much. 97 00:05:24,800 --> 00:05:27,039 Speaker 2: So do you think long distance then is hard? 98 00:05:28,400 --> 00:05:30,800 Speaker 1: I think it could be because you're going to want 99 00:05:30,880 --> 00:05:33,240 Speaker 1: to or me, I would want to be with that 100 00:05:33,279 --> 00:05:37,400 Speaker 1: person more if he lived four miles away or twenty 101 00:05:37,440 --> 00:05:40,200 Speaker 1: five miles away, rather than have to take a flight. 102 00:05:40,760 --> 00:05:43,200 Speaker 1: When I see long distance, to me, you got to 103 00:05:43,279 --> 00:05:47,200 Speaker 1: fly somewhere to see them. But if that were the case, 104 00:05:47,279 --> 00:05:50,400 Speaker 1: how exciting because you're looking forward to it. Who were 105 00:05:50,440 --> 00:05:54,400 Speaker 1: we interviewing? Was it Ben? Who were we talking to? 106 00:05:54,560 --> 00:05:57,920 Speaker 1: And they said they set it up before they left 107 00:05:58,040 --> 00:06:00,800 Speaker 1: each other? Yeah it was Ben, Ben? Yeah, yes, and 108 00:06:01,720 --> 00:06:05,120 Speaker 1: they had that date. You know it's coming, let's go home, 109 00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:07,320 Speaker 1: let's do what we need to do, and you look 110 00:06:07,440 --> 00:06:09,839 Speaker 1: forward to that day that. I think that can work. 111 00:06:10,440 --> 00:06:16,599 Speaker 2: So so what would you say to a man just 112 00:06:16,600 --> 00:06:19,640 Speaker 2: just for convenience? We're gonna I'm going to talk heterosexual relationships, 113 00:06:19,720 --> 00:06:22,520 Speaker 2: but this applies to all for as far as I'm concerned. 114 00:06:22,839 --> 00:06:30,440 Speaker 2: If if you were dating a guy long distance, and he, 115 00:06:30,760 --> 00:06:33,640 Speaker 2: you know, he said to you, look, you're my girl, 116 00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:36,440 Speaker 2: but you know I I sleep with other women, but 117 00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:39,240 Speaker 2: it's just sex, would you ever be okay with that? 118 00:06:39,520 --> 00:06:40,920 Speaker 1: No? I couldn't. 119 00:06:41,120 --> 00:06:41,800 Speaker 2: I couldn't do it. 120 00:06:41,839 --> 00:06:44,840 Speaker 1: Either I couldn't do it because to me, it's not 121 00:06:45,040 --> 00:06:46,760 Speaker 1: just sex. That's intimacy. 122 00:06:48,600 --> 00:06:52,359 Speaker 2: Well, there's several forms of intimacy, I think, and sex 123 00:06:52,480 --> 00:06:53,760 Speaker 2: is one formation. 124 00:06:54,920 --> 00:06:58,119 Speaker 1: Sex is just sex, I mean it is, well it's sex. 125 00:06:59,400 --> 00:07:01,359 Speaker 1: Well that's the think. What if the guy said to 126 00:07:01,400 --> 00:07:05,520 Speaker 1: you and you know, look, it's justous. 127 00:07:06,920 --> 00:07:10,720 Speaker 2: No, that's what I'm saying. Could you I can't, but 128 00:07:10,840 --> 00:07:14,280 Speaker 2: I could imagine a man saying, oh, no, monogamy to 129 00:07:14,400 --> 00:07:18,320 Speaker 2: me means I love you. You're the woman I care for. 130 00:07:18,840 --> 00:07:21,800 Speaker 2: Sex is just you know, bodily function. I'm just really 131 00:07:22,280 --> 00:07:24,400 Speaker 2: I couldn't do it, but I think there are men 132 00:07:24,440 --> 00:07:27,000 Speaker 2: out there that I think that's okay. 133 00:07:27,720 --> 00:07:31,840 Speaker 1: He won't be my guy. My guy is the question. 134 00:07:33,480 --> 00:07:34,480 Speaker 1: We are seniors. 135 00:07:35,760 --> 00:07:37,960 Speaker 2: No, it doesn't. To me, it would not matter. 136 00:07:38,080 --> 00:07:42,440 Speaker 1: But then it says, is it necessary to be monogamous? 137 00:07:42,480 --> 00:07:44,760 Speaker 1: And what does that look like? Is it to me? 138 00:07:45,760 --> 00:07:50,559 Speaker 2: To me, it's necessary, and it's it's never just sex, 139 00:07:50,640 --> 00:07:53,000 Speaker 2: And you know when when you think about it, I 140 00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:58,840 Speaker 2: don't know women, so I've been told women attach a 141 00:07:58,880 --> 00:08:03,640 Speaker 2: lot more meaning to sex that man. 142 00:08:03,760 --> 00:08:06,720 Speaker 1: I think sex is sex, that's it. 143 00:08:07,400 --> 00:08:09,400 Speaker 2: Oh you think, really, if a man loves you, you 144 00:08:09,400 --> 00:08:12,840 Speaker 2: don't think there's anything beyond just physical release. I don't 145 00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:13,360 Speaker 2: believe that. 146 00:08:14,520 --> 00:08:16,680 Speaker 1: I mean, he could be more into it because he 147 00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:18,680 Speaker 1: loves you. But sex is sex. 148 00:08:20,360 --> 00:08:24,560 Speaker 2: Oh wow, for the man. Oh I don't believe that. 149 00:08:25,280 --> 00:08:28,040 Speaker 1: Okay, so so different. 150 00:08:30,120 --> 00:08:34,560 Speaker 2: Hold on, if you believe sex is just sex, no you. 151 00:08:34,720 --> 00:08:36,320 Speaker 1: I didn't say that was for a man. 152 00:08:36,400 --> 00:08:39,560 Speaker 2: I said for a man. If you're saying that, then 153 00:08:39,960 --> 00:08:44,560 Speaker 2: you're buying into Uh, it's just sex. I love you. 154 00:08:44,559 --> 00:08:48,720 Speaker 2: You know you're dating Joe. I'm making a name up, Joe. 155 00:08:48,800 --> 00:08:51,600 Speaker 2: I love you, Susan. You're the woman of my dreams. 156 00:08:52,160 --> 00:08:55,000 Speaker 1: But he's had sex with Kathy three days ago and that. 157 00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:57,680 Speaker 2: But that's just sex. But just sex, Susan, I don't 158 00:08:57,720 --> 00:09:00,719 Speaker 2: love her. I love you. Not my world, but it's 159 00:09:00,720 --> 00:09:01,640 Speaker 2: okay in their world. 160 00:09:02,520 --> 00:09:04,120 Speaker 1: Some yeah, I guess it is. 161 00:09:04,559 --> 00:09:07,360 Speaker 2: So all you men out there, that guy, all these 162 00:09:07,400 --> 00:09:10,560 Speaker 2: men out there, if you're interested in Susan or me, 163 00:09:11,360 --> 00:09:14,120 Speaker 2: let me, let me. Let me cut this down to 164 00:09:14,240 --> 00:09:18,680 Speaker 2: the simplest of terms. Few monogamy means you're only having 165 00:09:18,760 --> 00:09:21,840 Speaker 2: sex with us one person, well, not both of us together. 166 00:09:21,960 --> 00:09:26,480 Speaker 2: Obviously you're only that would be men walk which you know, 167 00:09:26,480 --> 00:09:29,320 Speaker 2: it's a whole other conversation for another time, but I'm 168 00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:32,600 Speaker 2: just saying that's for us. I think women believe that 169 00:09:32,640 --> 00:09:35,360 Speaker 2: monogamy is just having sex with one person. 170 00:09:35,440 --> 00:09:37,959 Speaker 1: And do you know, I actually know women, not many 171 00:09:38,600 --> 00:09:43,760 Speaker 1: that had relationships I guess you can call them open 172 00:09:44,080 --> 00:09:47,640 Speaker 1: relationships that they had sex and they dated. And yet 173 00:09:48,200 --> 00:09:51,600 Speaker 1: the guy and the girl had other partners that they 174 00:09:51,720 --> 00:09:54,640 Speaker 1: dated and had sex. I don't think I could handle it. 175 00:09:54,679 --> 00:09:56,600 Speaker 2: Oh, I know I had a guy. I wasn't going 176 00:09:56,640 --> 00:09:58,079 Speaker 2: to tell you this, and I certainly wasn't going to 177 00:09:58,120 --> 00:10:00,839 Speaker 2: put on our podcasts. But since no one's listening but 178 00:10:00,960 --> 00:10:03,040 Speaker 2: you and me, we're just talking among us. I had 179 00:10:03,080 --> 00:10:05,559 Speaker 2: a guy reached out to me the other day who said, 180 00:10:05,800 --> 00:10:10,080 Speaker 2: you are absolutely stunningly beautiful. I would love to meet you, 181 00:10:10,160 --> 00:10:12,520 Speaker 2: but I need you to know I'm in an open marriage. 182 00:10:12,800 --> 00:10:15,360 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I've seen how fast did I block him? 183 00:10:16,120 --> 00:10:19,520 Speaker 1: No? Well, I would respond it and said, I'm so 184 00:10:20,280 --> 00:10:23,760 Speaker 1: you know what your honesty, However, that's not my game. 185 00:10:24,200 --> 00:10:27,360 Speaker 2: You know what? I had just watched them. No, I 186 00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:29,160 Speaker 2: had to watch the dusk grow on the furniture. I 187 00:10:29,200 --> 00:10:31,800 Speaker 2: only had so much time, and I chose to watch 188 00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:34,800 Speaker 2: the dust grow. No, I'm not responding to that, I'm 189 00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:38,080 Speaker 2: not I'm not dignifying that with an answer absolutely not. 190 00:10:38,559 --> 00:10:39,360 Speaker 2: Let's move on. 191 00:10:39,880 --> 00:10:49,480 Speaker 1: Yeah right, oh boy? All right? 192 00:10:49,520 --> 00:10:50,160 Speaker 2: What do you think? 193 00:10:50,360 --> 00:10:52,560 Speaker 1: Should we get into our fan questions or should we 194 00:10:52,640 --> 00:10:53,559 Speaker 1: keep talking about not? 195 00:10:53,760 --> 00:10:56,920 Speaker 2: Oh? I don't know. Please let's get into the fan questions. 196 00:10:57,120 --> 00:10:58,600 Speaker 2: I'm in okay? 197 00:10:58,840 --> 00:10:59,640 Speaker 1: You want to go first? 198 00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:01,800 Speaker 2: You want me to read no, knock yourself up? 199 00:11:01,880 --> 00:11:05,920 Speaker 1: Go okay. This is from anonymous. Hi ladies. I have 200 00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:08,760 Speaker 1: been dating this guy for the past six months and 201 00:11:08,800 --> 00:11:11,920 Speaker 1: it's been going well for the most part. At sixty 202 00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:14,960 Speaker 1: two years old, I am just so excited to be 203 00:11:14,960 --> 00:11:18,320 Speaker 1: in a relationship and it's really been fun. We live 204 00:11:18,480 --> 00:11:22,400 Speaker 1: about three hours away from one another, but see each 205 00:11:22,480 --> 00:11:25,480 Speaker 1: other a few times a month and we text and 206 00:11:25,520 --> 00:11:29,720 Speaker 1: call all the time. Unfortunately, over the past few weeks, 207 00:11:30,040 --> 00:11:33,120 Speaker 1: my guy has been saying some things that have raised 208 00:11:33,120 --> 00:11:35,800 Speaker 1: some red flags for me, and I need help knowing 209 00:11:36,200 --> 00:11:39,760 Speaker 1: if I should stick around or move on. We have 210 00:11:39,880 --> 00:11:44,040 Speaker 1: been working on defining our relationship and thinking about where 211 00:11:44,080 --> 00:11:48,000 Speaker 1: we could be down the road. He made a comment 212 00:11:48,360 --> 00:11:54,600 Speaker 1: about how I would be the last vagina he ever 213 00:11:54,679 --> 00:11:57,320 Speaker 1: sleeps with, and it really grossed me out. 214 00:11:58,040 --> 00:12:01,840 Speaker 2: A wait, stop, you said vagina like you weren't sure 215 00:12:01,880 --> 00:12:03,280 Speaker 2: what it was vagina. 216 00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:05,440 Speaker 1: I just say, he said that you're going to be 217 00:12:05,520 --> 00:12:12,280 Speaker 1: my last vagina, monogamous, monogamy, go ahead, keep going, the 218 00:12:12,360 --> 00:12:14,880 Speaker 1: last vagina he ever sleeps with. And it really grows 219 00:12:14,960 --> 00:12:18,880 Speaker 1: me out. He also is still on dating apps, though 220 00:12:18,960 --> 00:12:22,800 Speaker 1: he said he doesn't necessarily talk to anyone there, it's 221 00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:27,040 Speaker 1: just for looking. Oh boy. I went into our next 222 00:12:27,160 --> 00:12:32,160 Speaker 1: date or hang hang good, yeah, hang out, thinking that 223 00:12:32,240 --> 00:12:34,320 Speaker 1: I was going to break up with him, but then 224 00:12:34,360 --> 00:12:38,440 Speaker 1: he told me that he loves me. It's been very 225 00:12:38,440 --> 00:12:42,720 Speaker 1: confusing and mixed signals. I really do love him and 226 00:12:42,920 --> 00:12:46,400 Speaker 1: had have had so much fun with him and don't 227 00:12:46,440 --> 00:12:49,560 Speaker 1: want to be single again. Any advice is appreciated. Love 228 00:12:49,559 --> 00:12:49,920 Speaker 1: you both. 229 00:12:50,240 --> 00:12:53,000 Speaker 2: Can I jump in? Can I jump in? Yes? 230 00:12:53,080 --> 00:12:53,440 Speaker 1: Please? 231 00:12:53,679 --> 00:13:00,200 Speaker 2: Anonymous. Here's my here's my gut reaction, my intuition. You 232 00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:03,520 Speaker 2: can be single now, or you can go down the 233 00:13:03,600 --> 00:13:06,160 Speaker 2: road with this guy and you trust and believe me, 234 00:13:06,200 --> 00:13:10,920 Speaker 2: you'll be single later. This guy has no clue. He 235 00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:14,640 Speaker 2: does not want you to be the last vagina he 236 00:13:14,720 --> 00:13:18,520 Speaker 2: ever sleeps with. He clearly it does not want to 237 00:13:18,559 --> 00:13:19,440 Speaker 2: be monogamous. 238 00:13:19,960 --> 00:13:23,120 Speaker 1: And but Kathy, did you notice she said we have 239 00:13:23,240 --> 00:13:27,080 Speaker 1: been working on defining our relationship and thinking about where 240 00:13:27,120 --> 00:13:29,360 Speaker 1: we could be down the road. Uh huh. 241 00:13:29,640 --> 00:13:32,360 Speaker 2: Where we could be down the road is he's got 242 00:13:32,440 --> 00:13:34,960 Speaker 2: several other vaginas he's dealing with. That's where you're going 243 00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:37,520 Speaker 2: to be down the road. And you know what, it's okay, 244 00:13:37,880 --> 00:13:41,120 Speaker 2: back to what we said earlier. If you agree to that, 245 00:13:41,800 --> 00:13:46,160 Speaker 2: it's great. But my guess is based on what Anonymous 246 00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:50,200 Speaker 2: is saying. She's not okay with multiple vaginas being in 247 00:13:50,240 --> 00:13:50,760 Speaker 2: her life. 248 00:13:51,120 --> 00:13:55,400 Speaker 1: So also, I hope to God because it grossed her out. 249 00:13:55,559 --> 00:13:58,600 Speaker 1: She addressed that with him when she saw him. That 250 00:13:58,640 --> 00:14:00,599 Speaker 1: would be one of the things I would talk to 251 00:14:00,679 --> 00:14:04,280 Speaker 1: him about. Why would you say, last vagina, that is 252 00:14:04,360 --> 00:14:07,280 Speaker 1: not well that it's just gross. 253 00:14:07,320 --> 00:14:11,920 Speaker 2: It is well respectful. But you missed on who he is. 254 00:14:13,559 --> 00:14:16,360 Speaker 2: I mean, he's not on my dance card list. I 255 00:14:16,360 --> 00:14:19,920 Speaker 2: can tell you if but wait, she said, but then 256 00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:23,280 Speaker 2: he told me he loved me. Ladies, Please, I'm going 257 00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:25,960 Speaker 2: to speak for Susan and me together. Susan correct me 258 00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:31,600 Speaker 2: if I'm wrong. Ladies, the be all to end all 259 00:14:32,240 --> 00:14:36,320 Speaker 2: is not that a man tells you he loves you. 260 00:14:36,480 --> 00:14:41,200 Speaker 2: It's in his actions, It's in his behavior. It is. 261 00:14:41,560 --> 00:14:46,640 Speaker 2: Words are easy. Words are words, words are cheap. Actions 262 00:14:47,080 --> 00:14:50,960 Speaker 2: are what defines a man. It's what defines everyone. Don't 263 00:14:51,240 --> 00:14:55,680 Speaker 2: listen to what I say, watch what I do. So 264 00:14:56,200 --> 00:14:59,240 Speaker 2: I think, Anonymous, you are getting sucked in because he 265 00:14:59,320 --> 00:15:01,920 Speaker 2: told you he loves you. He didn't say he loves you, 266 00:15:01,960 --> 00:15:04,520 Speaker 2: and he's not going to sleep around or find of. 267 00:15:04,560 --> 00:15:08,080 Speaker 1: The let's not forget he's still on the dating site. 268 00:15:08,880 --> 00:15:11,880 Speaker 2: Well, that's because he Susan, do you know why he 269 00:15:12,520 --> 00:15:16,000 Speaker 2: he's looking? No? He stopped the sentence there. He said, 270 00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:19,080 Speaker 2: I'm just looking. He's looking for other vaginas. And if 271 00:15:19,120 --> 00:15:23,800 Speaker 2: she doesn't see that's what I'm saying, sweetie, Anonymous. If 272 00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:26,360 Speaker 2: you don't see this for what it is, I'm sorry 273 00:15:26,560 --> 00:15:29,160 Speaker 2: you might have to learn a tough lesson. But I 274 00:15:29,160 --> 00:15:33,320 Speaker 2: would have the conversation with him, definitely. If you're okay 275 00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:37,520 Speaker 2: with multiple sex partners, then move forward in this relationship. 276 00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:42,280 Speaker 3: But if you're not the Gina Susan, Susan, I can't 277 00:15:42,280 --> 00:15:46,960 Speaker 3: get past I can't, I can't, I can't throw up 278 00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:47,800 Speaker 3: in my mouth. 279 00:15:48,560 --> 00:15:50,880 Speaker 2: Okay, that's lasting Vagina. 280 00:15:51,960 --> 00:15:55,680 Speaker 1: I mean says that I don't know. Don't drive three 281 00:15:55,840 --> 00:16:00,560 Speaker 1: hours ever again for a last vagina. Man, Okay, just 282 00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:00,960 Speaker 1: just say. 283 00:16:00,880 --> 00:16:03,720 Speaker 2: Well no, wait if it is the last vagina? Wait, 284 00:16:03,760 --> 00:16:05,400 Speaker 2: can we have a dollar for every time we've said 285 00:16:05,440 --> 00:16:08,520 Speaker 2: vagina in this podcast? The last vaginal? I'll give you 286 00:16:08,560 --> 00:16:11,360 Speaker 2: ten bucks. All right, we're moving on. Good luck. Let 287 00:16:11,480 --> 00:16:14,520 Speaker 2: us know. Oh, by the way, and im and I'm 288 00:16:14,520 --> 00:16:18,320 Speaker 2: being serious here, if he's sleeping around you better require 289 00:16:18,680 --> 00:16:24,680 Speaker 2: condoms and a blood test, an STD test, respect exactly, 290 00:16:24,720 --> 00:16:25,680 Speaker 2: a note from the doctor. 291 00:16:25,840 --> 00:16:27,800 Speaker 1: Good luck anonymous, Good luck anonymous. 292 00:16:27,880 --> 00:16:30,520 Speaker 2: Let us know how it goes. Okay, our next one 293 00:16:30,640 --> 00:16:31,720 Speaker 2: is another anonymous. 294 00:16:32,560 --> 00:16:36,680 Speaker 1: Just pause, think about this. What what would your reaction 295 00:16:36,880 --> 00:16:41,160 Speaker 1: be if he said that to you? I can't get passed, susan, 296 00:16:41,640 --> 00:16:44,200 Speaker 1: my dear, my last vagina? Am I supposed to go? 297 00:16:45,280 --> 00:16:45,960 Speaker 1: I love you? 298 00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:49,000 Speaker 2: I don't know, but I think I have to be 299 00:16:49,040 --> 00:16:53,440 Speaker 2: honest with you. You and I are confident women, and I 300 00:16:53,960 --> 00:16:58,600 Speaker 2: think this guy has probably given off vibes that are 301 00:16:58,640 --> 00:17:01,280 Speaker 2: disgusting in other ways. But she's put up with it. 302 00:17:01,440 --> 00:17:07,040 Speaker 2: So the fact that he is on dating sites and 303 00:17:07,080 --> 00:17:11,080 Speaker 2: she says he doesn't necessarily talk to him when they're anonymous. 304 00:17:11,440 --> 00:17:15,119 Speaker 2: I'm willing to bet my I'm willing to bet my 305 00:17:15,320 --> 00:17:19,320 Speaker 2: last you know, my grandchild. Trust and believe he is 306 00:17:19,440 --> 00:17:23,320 Speaker 2: talking to other women. People are not on dating sites. 307 00:17:23,400 --> 00:17:25,720 Speaker 2: To look. You want to go windows shopping, Go to 308 00:17:25,800 --> 00:17:30,879 Speaker 2: the sporting goods store. Okay, all right, moving on high lady. 309 00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:35,040 Speaker 2: This again from anonymous. Hi ladies. My sixty two year 310 00:17:35,119 --> 00:17:39,240 Speaker 2: old neighbor lost his wife of forty years eighteen months ago. 311 00:17:39,680 --> 00:17:43,119 Speaker 2: I'm sorry. She was the love of his life and 312 00:17:43,240 --> 00:17:46,960 Speaker 2: was beloved by everyone. Two months after her death, he 313 00:17:47,119 --> 00:17:49,919 Speaker 2: sold their home and moved to a fifty five and 314 00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:53,320 Speaker 2: up community. I thought it was quick, but after his 315 00:17:53,359 --> 00:17:57,440 Speaker 2: wife's long battle with cancer, I'm sure he needed a change. 316 00:17:57,560 --> 00:18:01,160 Speaker 2: After vacationing with us and another couple in January, he 317 00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:03,919 Speaker 2: opened up about being lonely and said he was ready 318 00:18:03,960 --> 00:18:07,160 Speaker 2: to begin dating. We were happy to hear this. He's 319 00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:11,960 Speaker 2: a wonderful man, smart, successful, attractive, and has a great personality. 320 00:18:12,440 --> 00:18:14,680 Speaker 2: Two weeks ago he had a first date with a 321 00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:18,040 Speaker 2: lady he met online. In those two weeks, they've met 322 00:18:18,119 --> 00:18:21,480 Speaker 2: each other's young adult children, have had dinner with very 323 00:18:21,480 --> 00:18:25,720 Speaker 2: close friends, have babysat his grandchild, and seen each other 324 00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:30,040 Speaker 2: every single day. He even shared with me last evening 325 00:18:30,440 --> 00:18:33,600 Speaker 2: that he's had the prenup talk with her already, I 326 00:18:33,960 --> 00:18:38,639 Speaker 2: thought to myself, WHOA, what's the hurry? Seems like this 327 00:18:38,720 --> 00:18:41,800 Speaker 2: is moving at warp speed. I care for this guy 328 00:18:41,880 --> 00:18:44,080 Speaker 2: and would hate to see him rush into something as 329 00:18:44,119 --> 00:18:47,000 Speaker 2: serious as marriage. Do I have a heart to heart 330 00:18:47,040 --> 00:18:50,119 Speaker 2: with him about my concerns or keep my mouth shut 331 00:18:50,160 --> 00:18:54,520 Speaker 2: and just be happy for him. I'm leaning toward the latter. 332 00:18:55,119 --> 00:18:59,600 Speaker 2: Thanks concerned Friend's Anonymous, You got it right, baby, Keep your. 333 00:18:59,520 --> 00:19:05,879 Speaker 1: Mouth shut shut because people can meet and can fall 334 00:19:06,640 --> 00:19:13,280 Speaker 1: really quick. And if people does happen, if people. 335 00:19:14,359 --> 00:19:18,159 Speaker 2: Do see, if. 336 00:19:18,040 --> 00:19:20,560 Speaker 1: People do think it's touching, I think it's harder for 337 00:19:20,880 --> 00:19:23,760 Speaker 1: because they think, oh what is she money hungry or or. 338 00:19:23,720 --> 00:19:26,439 Speaker 2: Whatever it is? Or is he is he just desperate? 339 00:19:26,480 --> 00:19:32,800 Speaker 2: Because but here's the thing, Susan, here's the thing. If 340 00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:37,520 Speaker 2: it doesn't work out, they've tried to make it work out, 341 00:19:37,880 --> 00:19:41,920 Speaker 2: and they've enjoyed the time together. And time is short, folks. 342 00:19:42,400 --> 00:19:46,520 Speaker 2: Time is short. And when yours and golden years are short, 343 00:19:46,640 --> 00:19:48,960 Speaker 2: it's not like you're twenty. 344 00:19:48,760 --> 00:19:51,360 Speaker 1: Three and have to build a future and buy your 345 00:19:51,359 --> 00:19:52,800 Speaker 1: first house and have children. 346 00:19:52,880 --> 00:19:57,040 Speaker 2: All. Yeah, yeah, So, I say, Anonymous, you know, I 347 00:19:57,080 --> 00:19:59,320 Speaker 2: know we're going to catch some flat for this, but 348 00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:03,159 Speaker 2: I would never have said this, you know, earlier in 349 00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:06,399 Speaker 2: my life. But now you find the man that you 350 00:20:06,400 --> 00:20:08,560 Speaker 2: think you love, you find the woman that you think 351 00:20:08,600 --> 00:20:14,000 Speaker 2: you love, go for it, jump in and see what happens. 352 00:20:14,440 --> 00:20:17,720 Speaker 2: Because you don't get these days back. You don't get 353 00:20:17,760 --> 00:20:19,760 Speaker 2: this time back, you know, as much as we need 354 00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:21,679 Speaker 2: to admit it, Susan, we talk about this being our 355 00:20:21,760 --> 00:20:25,480 Speaker 2: last chapter and our best chapter, and for I think 356 00:20:25,520 --> 00:20:27,800 Speaker 2: it is. But you know what, don't waste a day 357 00:20:27,800 --> 00:20:30,240 Speaker 2: of it. Don't waste a day if it doesn't know. 358 00:20:30,920 --> 00:20:34,159 Speaker 1: Kathy, if they're really close and she finds him alone 359 00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:37,680 Speaker 1: and they're talking, she could say something, but just say, 360 00:20:37,800 --> 00:20:40,199 Speaker 1: you know, I'm so happy for you. You guys seem so 361 00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:43,960 Speaker 1: happy and are you sure you know? Is this? Is 362 00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:46,040 Speaker 1: this what you want to do? You know? Something like 363 00:20:46,080 --> 00:20:49,800 Speaker 1: that on a note, on a positive note. Yeah, just 364 00:20:49,880 --> 00:20:52,439 Speaker 1: she could have them over for dinner. 365 00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:53,520 Speaker 2: So would I? 366 00:20:53,840 --> 00:20:54,040 Speaker 1: Yeah? 367 00:20:54,160 --> 00:20:56,480 Speaker 2: I would all be happy, you know what I like? 368 00:20:58,000 --> 00:21:01,480 Speaker 2: You know what I'd be saying, damn it another lost 369 00:21:03,080 --> 00:21:06,040 Speaker 2: That's exactly what say? You knew it? You knew that? 370 00:21:06,520 --> 00:21:07,320 Speaker 2: All right? All right? 371 00:21:07,359 --> 00:21:11,320 Speaker 1: Well we're going to concerned friend. Just be a friend, yeah, they're. 372 00:21:11,160 --> 00:21:15,640 Speaker 2: A friend, and be supportive be there and please let 373 00:21:15,720 --> 00:21:17,840 Speaker 2: us know. And I'm going to just take Susan's line 374 00:21:17,840 --> 00:21:20,959 Speaker 2: away from her. If they decide to get married, please 375 00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:23,679 Speaker 2: reach out to Susan. She's a wedding officient she'd be 376 00:21:23,880 --> 00:21:26,240 Speaker 2: so happy to do it. And I will come along 377 00:21:26,280 --> 00:21:27,919 Speaker 2: with her and throw the rose petals. 378 00:21:28,080 --> 00:21:29,919 Speaker 1: But you know what, can I add something? Kathy? 379 00:21:30,280 --> 00:21:30,600 Speaker 2: Sure? 380 00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:36,800 Speaker 1: At my age, I don't necessarily think you have to 381 00:21:37,040 --> 00:21:40,920 Speaker 1: get married either, do I? I would like to be engaged, 382 00:21:40,920 --> 00:21:42,640 Speaker 1: so you know I'm with that person. 383 00:21:42,840 --> 00:21:44,679 Speaker 2: But no, Susan, you want to be engaged so you 384 00:21:44,680 --> 00:21:45,320 Speaker 2: can have a ring? 385 00:21:45,560 --> 00:21:47,320 Speaker 1: Just be honest, I do I haven't learned one in 386 00:21:47,359 --> 00:21:51,160 Speaker 1: a really long time. Okay, so you could lift together. 387 00:21:51,560 --> 00:21:54,080 Speaker 1: I mean all those prenups and all that, none of 388 00:21:54,119 --> 00:21:55,200 Speaker 1: that is necessary. 389 00:21:56,240 --> 00:21:59,159 Speaker 2: I well, no, no, no, no, no no no no no 390 00:21:59,160 --> 00:22:04,440 Speaker 2: no no. In many states, if you cohabitate and you 391 00:22:04,480 --> 00:22:08,720 Speaker 2: live together for more than one year, yeah, and you 392 00:22:08,840 --> 00:22:11,440 Speaker 2: share bills, your name is an Abil, you are then 393 00:22:11,560 --> 00:22:16,600 Speaker 2: considered legally married and that so absolutely I would I 394 00:22:16,640 --> 00:22:17,560 Speaker 2: would have a preemp. 395 00:22:17,640 --> 00:22:19,119 Speaker 1: Do you feel about it? Would you just live with 396 00:22:19,200 --> 00:22:20,959 Speaker 1: somebody or do you have to be married? 397 00:22:21,480 --> 00:22:27,479 Speaker 2: I do not? At age, I do not feel the 398 00:22:27,640 --> 00:22:30,520 Speaker 2: need to get married. But if I met the man 399 00:22:30,920 --> 00:22:35,080 Speaker 2: who loved me and said, you know, I meet you 400 00:22:35,119 --> 00:22:37,360 Speaker 2: by my side every minute of the day, and I 401 00:22:37,400 --> 00:22:39,600 Speaker 2: loved him and we loved each other that much, I 402 00:22:39,640 --> 00:22:42,679 Speaker 2: would consider getting married. But I will be honest, if 403 00:22:43,080 --> 00:22:46,360 Speaker 2: you to just move in, I would have a prenup. 404 00:22:47,680 --> 00:22:51,480 Speaker 2: I would because but my situation is different, Susan. You 405 00:22:51,520 --> 00:22:54,560 Speaker 2: know my husband, Well it feels different to me. My 406 00:22:54,720 --> 00:22:58,080 Speaker 2: husband worked really hard for the money he earned, and 407 00:22:58,119 --> 00:22:59,760 Speaker 2: I want my children. 408 00:22:59,640 --> 00:23:03,199 Speaker 1: To get Anybody at our age is gonna you know so, 409 00:23:03,720 --> 00:23:05,879 Speaker 1: but but go to their families their kids. 410 00:23:05,920 --> 00:23:09,080 Speaker 2: Well, but I'm not saying but I would support myself. 411 00:23:09,119 --> 00:23:12,880 Speaker 2: I would contribute to our joint living all of those things. 412 00:23:14,040 --> 00:23:17,520 Speaker 2: But but in terms of wealth, transferring wealth. 413 00:23:17,680 --> 00:23:19,840 Speaker 1: You know, my kids a whole different story. 414 00:23:19,920 --> 00:23:22,000 Speaker 2: Yeah, so I would probably have a peanut. But no, 415 00:23:22,119 --> 00:23:23,720 Speaker 2: I don't feel the need to be married. But I 416 00:23:23,760 --> 00:23:26,920 Speaker 2: will never I'm old enough now to say I will 417 00:23:26,960 --> 00:23:30,560 Speaker 2: never say never on anything. Would you get married? 418 00:23:31,560 --> 00:23:31,600 Speaker 1: No? 419 00:23:33,280 --> 00:23:34,879 Speaker 2: No, or you don't know, I don't know. 420 00:23:35,760 --> 00:23:37,919 Speaker 1: That's not my goal. My goal is to find my 421 00:23:38,040 --> 00:23:41,520 Speaker 1: person and live together and enjoy each other. The marriage 422 00:23:41,560 --> 00:23:43,440 Speaker 1: part is I mean I could marry us. 423 00:23:45,200 --> 00:23:48,159 Speaker 2: You know, Susan's gonna be sitting in the bedroom quiet 424 00:23:48,240 --> 00:23:50,760 Speaker 2: night over a bowl of popcorn. Hey, let's get married. 425 00:23:50,800 --> 00:23:54,159 Speaker 1: I'm gonna perform say else, And to me, that is 426 00:23:54,240 --> 00:23:57,560 Speaker 1: the most important thing when you're looking in somebody's eyes 427 00:23:57,560 --> 00:24:01,040 Speaker 1: and it's just the two of you and share why 428 00:24:01,119 --> 00:24:03,080 Speaker 1: you want them in your lives and how they make 429 00:24:03,160 --> 00:24:07,399 Speaker 1: you happy or vice versa. And I commit myself to 430 00:24:07,480 --> 00:24:11,520 Speaker 1: you and you commit yourself to me. That's matag. 431 00:24:11,800 --> 00:24:14,240 Speaker 2: Wait can we put the word monogamous in there? Please? 432 00:24:16,040 --> 00:24:17,440 Speaker 2: You're only having sex with me. 433 00:24:17,960 --> 00:24:19,320 Speaker 1: But I'm happy for your neighbor. 434 00:24:19,760 --> 00:24:23,600 Speaker 2: Yeah, you know what, really, Mozzle, I am so happy 435 00:24:23,880 --> 00:24:26,919 Speaker 2: for your neighbor. I wish them happiness. I hope you 436 00:24:26,960 --> 00:24:37,880 Speaker 2: wish them happiness. All right, we are going to we're 437 00:24:37,920 --> 00:24:42,080 Speaker 2: going to try something a little different today. Oh. As 438 00:24:42,080 --> 00:24:46,159 Speaker 2: we all know, dating in your golden years is tough, 439 00:24:46,400 --> 00:24:51,560 Speaker 2: it is, and it's not necessarily really openly spoken about. 440 00:24:51,720 --> 00:24:55,159 Speaker 2: So we are here today, Susan, we are going to 441 00:24:55,280 --> 00:24:58,840 Speaker 2: change that we want. I think we really should discuss 442 00:24:58,920 --> 00:25:02,960 Speaker 2: some major themes that we see in our listener writings 443 00:25:03,560 --> 00:25:06,320 Speaker 2: as well as in you know, our experiences and our friends' 444 00:25:06,359 --> 00:25:10,760 Speaker 2: experiences are you okay, right, yeah, all right, So the end, 445 00:25:10,760 --> 00:25:12,399 Speaker 2: some of these are I'm just going to warn you 446 00:25:12,480 --> 00:25:14,879 Speaker 2: some of these are tough because we are of a 447 00:25:14,880 --> 00:25:20,480 Speaker 2: certain age. Okay, how do you navigate dating with health issues? 448 00:25:21,000 --> 00:25:23,280 Speaker 2: You know, at our age, Susan, Whether we want to 449 00:25:23,320 --> 00:25:27,440 Speaker 2: believe it or not, health issues can be serious and ongoing. 450 00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:30,800 Speaker 2: So you know, how do you feel about that? 451 00:25:30,960 --> 00:25:36,480 Speaker 1: I think you should be if you're in a monogamous relationship, 452 00:25:36,600 --> 00:25:39,840 Speaker 1: of course, monogamous that you have to be honest if 453 00:25:39,840 --> 00:25:43,920 Speaker 1: you have health issues. I mean, you can't just surprise them, no, 454 00:25:44,040 --> 00:25:47,200 Speaker 1: but how do you But you know, I would want 455 00:25:47,200 --> 00:25:50,520 Speaker 1: to know if my partner that dating has health issues. 456 00:25:51,119 --> 00:25:53,639 Speaker 2: I mean I would too. But I told you some 457 00:25:53,680 --> 00:25:55,680 Speaker 2: of these are going to be hard. Let's just say 458 00:25:55,760 --> 00:25:59,840 Speaker 2: you find out you meet a guy and you're, you know, 459 00:26:00,040 --> 00:26:02,439 Speaker 2: really into him, and you've been dating a couple I mean, 460 00:26:02,440 --> 00:26:04,800 Speaker 2: I'm making this up obviously, you've been dating a couple 461 00:26:04,840 --> 00:26:07,600 Speaker 2: of months, and you find out the guy has Parkinson's 462 00:26:07,880 --> 00:26:11,080 Speaker 2: or he's been diagnosed with you know, a blood cancer, 463 00:26:11,160 --> 00:26:14,280 Speaker 2: some kind of leukemia. How are you going to feel 464 00:26:14,320 --> 00:26:19,040 Speaker 2: about that? Because it's not well, you know, that's going 465 00:26:19,119 --> 00:26:20,399 Speaker 2: to be an onwe to ask. 466 00:26:20,320 --> 00:26:22,680 Speaker 1: Yourself the question are you here to take care of him? 467 00:26:23,160 --> 00:26:26,439 Speaker 1: There you got do you love him enough to be 468 00:26:26,600 --> 00:26:29,960 Speaker 1: there for him in the bad times? Because that's you know, 469 00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:32,680 Speaker 1: when you get older, shit happens if you will. 470 00:26:32,760 --> 00:26:37,320 Speaker 2: Yeah, but Susan, wait, that's for me. Will wait a minute. 471 00:26:37,320 --> 00:26:40,480 Speaker 2: But for me, that's the difference when you get married. 472 00:26:41,000 --> 00:26:43,199 Speaker 2: You know, when I got married at twenty and at 473 00:26:43,240 --> 00:26:46,320 Speaker 2: that altar, and they said, do you promise to love 474 00:26:46,359 --> 00:26:49,720 Speaker 2: in sickness and in health? You know, sickness was a 475 00:26:49,880 --> 00:26:53,400 Speaker 2: long way off, right, You're thinking. 476 00:26:53,119 --> 00:26:54,840 Speaker 1: If you had the flu, we just still. 477 00:26:54,800 --> 00:26:57,000 Speaker 2: Exactly like, Oh shit's I got to bring him chicken 478 00:26:57,080 --> 00:26:59,160 Speaker 2: little soup. He's got the flu. I don't know. Maybe 479 00:26:59,160 --> 00:27:02,399 Speaker 2: I will, Maybe I will. I'm talking serious health issues, 480 00:27:02,440 --> 00:27:06,320 Speaker 2: and so if you get involved with someone who has 481 00:27:06,520 --> 00:27:10,600 Speaker 2: a serious, on going health issue. 482 00:27:10,320 --> 00:27:11,919 Speaker 1: I mean, you've got to think about your life. 483 00:27:12,760 --> 00:27:13,119 Speaker 2: I don't know. 484 00:27:13,240 --> 00:27:15,359 Speaker 1: Is that okay with you? You won't get to do 485 00:27:15,480 --> 00:27:17,639 Speaker 1: all the fun things that you thought you could do 486 00:27:17,720 --> 00:27:19,720 Speaker 1: at this stage of the game. Get up and go. 487 00:27:20,119 --> 00:27:24,080 Speaker 1: If he's ill or she is ill, do you like? 488 00:27:24,359 --> 00:27:27,520 Speaker 1: They are my Italians that we love so much, Kathy, 489 00:27:27,600 --> 00:27:30,439 Speaker 1: you know, my best friends that we travel with alive 490 00:27:30,600 --> 00:27:34,080 Speaker 1: and they're from Italy and they're beautiful people. And he 491 00:27:34,800 --> 00:27:38,240 Speaker 1: worked all his life to go and enjoy and she 492 00:27:38,359 --> 00:27:39,000 Speaker 1: had a stroke. 493 00:27:39,280 --> 00:27:45,040 Speaker 2: Yes, but Susan, the difference they've been married forever. I'm saying, 494 00:27:45,240 --> 00:27:48,640 Speaker 2: stating in our golden years, I'm going to be I'm 495 00:27:48,720 --> 00:27:55,160 Speaker 2: nothing if not honest. I if it were a terminal illness, 496 00:27:56,640 --> 00:27:58,920 Speaker 2: I'd have a really hard time doing that. 497 00:27:59,200 --> 00:28:03,160 Speaker 1: I would, But would you do anything about it internally? 498 00:28:03,240 --> 00:28:05,719 Speaker 1: You'd have a hard time. But would you stop seeing 499 00:28:05,800 --> 00:28:06,880 Speaker 1: him because of it? 500 00:28:08,480 --> 00:28:08,920 Speaker 2: You know what? 501 00:28:09,040 --> 00:28:09,760 Speaker 1: That's hard. 502 00:28:09,920 --> 00:28:13,400 Speaker 2: I'm just gonna say for this is not a judgment 503 00:28:13,560 --> 00:28:15,879 Speaker 2: on any man who may want a date for me 504 00:28:16,520 --> 00:28:20,560 Speaker 2: with me, but I've buried one husband the hardest of 505 00:28:20,600 --> 00:28:25,600 Speaker 2: ways possible. If I were dating a guy a couple 506 00:28:25,600 --> 00:28:27,800 Speaker 2: of months and they told me he told me that 507 00:28:27,880 --> 00:28:30,600 Speaker 2: he had a terminal diagnosis he had just found out, 508 00:28:31,359 --> 00:28:32,920 Speaker 2: I don't know if I could do it, Susan, It 509 00:28:33,960 --> 00:28:36,840 Speaker 2: it takes too much out of me at my age. 510 00:28:37,920 --> 00:28:40,000 Speaker 1: Think it would depend on how I felt about it. 511 00:28:40,080 --> 00:28:41,479 Speaker 1: You know, I'm going to get hate mail for this. 512 00:28:41,600 --> 00:28:44,240 Speaker 1: You know I am No, You're just being honest. I mean, 513 00:28:45,720 --> 00:28:46,720 Speaker 1: I mean I can deal. 514 00:28:47,040 --> 00:28:51,480 Speaker 2: I can deal with the chronic health situation, you know things, 515 00:28:51,720 --> 00:28:53,280 Speaker 2: but that's not life or death. 516 00:28:54,400 --> 00:28:57,480 Speaker 1: We talked about one of our fan questions some time ago. 517 00:28:58,400 --> 00:29:02,840 Speaker 1: She had a bream issue, remember, and the sex was 518 00:29:02,960 --> 00:29:05,400 Speaker 1: none and she didn't want to do couldn't do anything, 519 00:29:05,520 --> 00:29:07,160 Speaker 1: and he hung in there for her. 520 00:29:08,160 --> 00:29:10,840 Speaker 2: Yeah, but that's different. It wasn't for death. 521 00:29:11,320 --> 00:29:13,800 Speaker 1: No, no, yeah, I think for me, it's the life 522 00:29:13,800 --> 00:29:16,280 Speaker 1: for a couple of years. That's a long time. 523 00:29:17,320 --> 00:29:19,840 Speaker 2: Yeah, No, I know, you know, all right, So what 524 00:29:19,960 --> 00:29:22,760 Speaker 2: about the next one? Do you share finances? Do you 525 00:29:22,800 --> 00:29:25,360 Speaker 2: get a prenup? You know, when you get married young, 526 00:29:25,880 --> 00:29:29,120 Speaker 2: you're in it together to build your lives together. Right, 527 00:29:29,560 --> 00:29:33,280 Speaker 2: but in your golden years, you know, some of us 528 00:29:33,320 --> 00:29:37,400 Speaker 2: have generational wealth. Some of us have debts, debt. How 529 00:29:37,400 --> 00:29:38,760 Speaker 2: do you feel I'd like. 530 00:29:38,760 --> 00:29:40,600 Speaker 1: To know if they're in debt, because I'm not doing it. 531 00:29:41,640 --> 00:29:42,400 Speaker 2: You're not doing what. 532 00:29:42,840 --> 00:29:45,680 Speaker 1: I don't want somebody that's in debt. I wait, a 533 00:29:45,760 --> 00:29:48,520 Speaker 1: man that can take care of themselves. 534 00:29:48,120 --> 00:29:50,360 Speaker 2: Would you wait, wait a minute. What if he's in debt, 535 00:29:50,400 --> 00:29:54,600 Speaker 2: but he's paying his debt because he's working, he's paining, okay, 536 00:29:54,840 --> 00:29:57,320 Speaker 2: or he has you know, you're you're saying you don't 537 00:29:57,360 --> 00:29:59,800 Speaker 2: want to pay for someone else's debt, Yes. 538 00:30:00,600 --> 00:30:03,120 Speaker 1: Nor would I ever expect anybody to pay for mine. 539 00:30:03,760 --> 00:30:07,960 Speaker 2: Would would you? Would you want a prenup? Would you 540 00:30:08,000 --> 00:30:11,000 Speaker 2: share your finances with them? Would you show them how 541 00:30:11,080 --> 00:30:11,959 Speaker 2: much money you have? 542 00:30:14,560 --> 00:30:19,120 Speaker 1: I got it. I'm an open book. I probably in 543 00:30:19,200 --> 00:30:22,040 Speaker 1: my brain's telling me, no, you shouldn't tell them everything. 544 00:30:22,240 --> 00:30:24,480 Speaker 1: But the other side of me is, if I'm that 545 00:30:25,200 --> 00:30:28,040 Speaker 1: in love with you, you need to know everything. But 546 00:30:28,080 --> 00:30:30,280 Speaker 1: you also need to know it's for my children. 547 00:30:31,600 --> 00:30:38,880 Speaker 2: So for me, uh, I would have to be living 548 00:30:38,960 --> 00:30:42,720 Speaker 2: with the guy before I would share my financial wealth. 549 00:30:42,760 --> 00:30:44,800 Speaker 2: But by then we've already had a prenup and he 550 00:30:44,840 --> 00:30:48,000 Speaker 2: would know that I'm gonna support me. I'm gonna you know, 551 00:30:48,160 --> 00:30:49,880 Speaker 2: we're gonna have a joint checking account. We're going to 552 00:30:49,960 --> 00:30:52,400 Speaker 2: share the expenses of the house, unless he wants to 553 00:30:52,400 --> 00:30:54,400 Speaker 2: pay for it all, and then I'm gonna graciously say thanks. 554 00:30:54,400 --> 00:30:56,120 Speaker 1: Well, I say he could pay for the house should 555 00:30:56,120 --> 00:30:58,080 Speaker 1: be paid for by them, but if it's not in 556 00:30:58,080 --> 00:30:59,920 Speaker 1: your paying the mortgage, then I chip in on the 557 00:31:00,080 --> 00:31:03,840 Speaker 1: utility bills or my food shopping. Of course, I probably wait. 558 00:31:03,840 --> 00:31:06,440 Speaker 2: Can I just tell you more than I'm sorry? I 559 00:31:06,480 --> 00:31:11,280 Speaker 2: got to deviate one second. Here Susan goes shopping. Were 560 00:31:11,320 --> 00:31:14,600 Speaker 2: you know we were for a week? She showed. I mean, 561 00:31:14,640 --> 00:31:17,800 Speaker 2: I don't we all know Kathy doesn't cook. Literally, we 562 00:31:17,840 --> 00:31:19,840 Speaker 2: walk out, she goes it wasn't bad. It was only 563 00:31:19,880 --> 00:31:24,320 Speaker 2: four hundred euros. Like, Susan, that's it's like, that's more 564 00:31:24,360 --> 00:31:27,080 Speaker 2: than four hundred dollars for one week of groceries. Just 565 00:31:27,120 --> 00:31:27,840 Speaker 2: putting it out there. 566 00:31:27,960 --> 00:31:30,280 Speaker 1: It wasn't even a whole week of groceries. 567 00:31:30,440 --> 00:31:32,240 Speaker 2: Well, I was trying not to embarrass you further. 568 00:31:32,480 --> 00:31:35,680 Speaker 1: Okay, Well, Kathy, let me ask you, when is the 569 00:31:35,760 --> 00:31:40,280 Speaker 1: right time that you're going to integrate your families? Okay, 570 00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:45,600 Speaker 1: people have established routines with lives where families. Now, when 571 00:31:45,800 --> 00:31:49,760 Speaker 1: do you think it's time not just to meet him, 572 00:31:49,800 --> 00:31:53,000 Speaker 1: but his family? And do you think that works? Do 573 00:31:53,000 --> 00:31:56,520 Speaker 1: you think that ever is going to be like oh, 574 00:31:56,680 --> 00:31:59,360 Speaker 1: I can't wait to call my stepbrother or you know. 575 00:32:00,400 --> 00:32:05,080 Speaker 2: Well, I can tell you I've done this a couple 576 00:32:05,080 --> 00:32:07,720 Speaker 2: of times with guys that I dated for more than 577 00:32:07,720 --> 00:32:16,560 Speaker 2: ten minutes, and integrating I did it slowly, invited uh 578 00:32:17,000 --> 00:32:19,160 Speaker 2: my kids to come to dinner one night when he 579 00:32:19,280 --> 00:32:21,440 Speaker 2: was here. Yes, Susan, I did cook dinner that night. 580 00:32:22,440 --> 00:32:25,600 Speaker 1: I think you ordered, didn't you. That was such a bitch. 581 00:32:25,960 --> 00:32:26,720 Speaker 1: I know she did. 582 00:32:27,160 --> 00:32:30,600 Speaker 2: I cooked all right, it was in the microwave. 583 00:32:30,680 --> 00:32:32,840 Speaker 1: No. I re called me last week and showed me 584 00:32:32,880 --> 00:32:36,640 Speaker 1: a video. Can I just share, Susan, I'm going to 585 00:32:36,720 --> 00:32:39,680 Speaker 1: make hamburgers tonight. I go on to the grill now 586 00:32:39,880 --> 00:32:44,680 Speaker 1: in the house, in the stove. Why what do I do? Wait? Okay, 587 00:32:44,760 --> 00:32:49,880 Speaker 1: the visit scent of the blackened mess. Okay, this ruined 588 00:32:49,920 --> 00:32:54,000 Speaker 1: the Okay, wait, we're talking. We're talking dating, but we 589 00:32:54,120 --> 00:32:59,000 Speaker 1: have to and we got to stop with this story. 590 00:32:59,440 --> 00:33:03,400 Speaker 1: I my grill. You can't make this ship up my 591 00:33:03,600 --> 00:33:06,280 Speaker 1: grill about oh, I don't know. Six weeks ago, I 592 00:33:06,320 --> 00:33:09,680 Speaker 1: was cooking something and the residue caught on fire. And 593 00:33:09,800 --> 00:33:11,920 Speaker 1: my son's a firefighter. I was like, oh my god, 594 00:33:12,200 --> 00:33:15,200 Speaker 1: freaked out, close something down, the fire went out. Haven't 595 00:33:15,240 --> 00:33:17,880 Speaker 1: touched that girl, since I just need underneath. 596 00:33:18,040 --> 00:33:19,560 Speaker 2: Well, now, I learned how to clean the grill, and 597 00:33:19,600 --> 00:33:22,280 Speaker 2: I did. I did. But prior to cleaning the grill, 598 00:33:22,680 --> 00:33:25,640 Speaker 2: I wanted to make hamburgers, and so I thought I will. 599 00:33:26,160 --> 00:33:28,360 Speaker 2: This is a true story, folks. I was on the 600 00:33:28,360 --> 00:33:30,880 Speaker 2: phone chatting with Nancy from our season who I adore, 601 00:33:31,280 --> 00:33:33,760 Speaker 2: And I'm cooking the hamburger, and I said, Susan, how 602 00:33:33,760 --> 00:33:35,400 Speaker 2: do you cook a hamburger? And so she told me 603 00:33:35,440 --> 00:33:37,600 Speaker 2: what to do. So I started doing it, cooking it. 604 00:33:37,880 --> 00:33:40,160 Speaker 2: I was talking to Nancy. I turned around. My whole 605 00:33:40,200 --> 00:33:43,360 Speaker 2: stove is on fire. Flames everywhere. I went, Oh my god, 606 00:33:43,800 --> 00:33:46,800 Speaker 2: because the grease from the hamburger caught on fire. 607 00:33:47,360 --> 00:33:52,600 Speaker 1: So between that and the pants to high whatever, it 608 00:33:52,680 --> 00:33:53,560 Speaker 1: was a little black. 609 00:33:53,600 --> 00:33:55,080 Speaker 2: And you've heard of black, and see not this. 610 00:33:55,560 --> 00:33:57,560 Speaker 1: No, no, no, no, it was not edible. 611 00:33:58,880 --> 00:34:01,680 Speaker 2: I ate every last bite. It was delicious. 612 00:34:01,920 --> 00:34:04,480 Speaker 1: And see that's the problem. You don't even know the difference. 613 00:34:04,600 --> 00:34:06,000 Speaker 1: I can't. I can't. 614 00:34:06,960 --> 00:34:09,919 Speaker 2: Susan lives to eat. I eat to live. 615 00:34:10,320 --> 00:34:15,600 Speaker 1: Okay, moving along, so yeah, how soon? Like I have 616 00:34:15,680 --> 00:34:18,000 Speaker 1: a big mouth, Like I get excited if I meet 617 00:34:18,000 --> 00:34:20,120 Speaker 1: somebody that I really like, and I've seen a couple 618 00:34:20,160 --> 00:34:21,839 Speaker 1: of times. I want to tell my kids about it. 619 00:34:22,880 --> 00:34:23,520 Speaker 1: Yeah you don't. 620 00:34:24,280 --> 00:34:27,360 Speaker 2: I oh, no, I may tell my children I'm dating someone. 621 00:34:27,680 --> 00:34:30,239 Speaker 2: I just Susan, I have not, you know, since my 622 00:34:30,320 --> 00:34:33,759 Speaker 2: husband died, I've dated a couple of guys for any 623 00:34:33,880 --> 00:34:37,160 Speaker 2: length of time, and my children met them, and my 624 00:34:37,239 --> 00:34:41,600 Speaker 2: children liked them, but I waited. You know, I told them, 625 00:34:41,600 --> 00:34:43,120 Speaker 2: I said, I'm dating a guy. You know, I think 626 00:34:43,160 --> 00:34:45,600 Speaker 2: I'm going to date them. You know, it's not a 627 00:34:45,640 --> 00:34:47,680 Speaker 2: one day but yeah, I'm seeing somebody. It's not a 628 00:34:47,719 --> 00:34:52,120 Speaker 2: one day guy, but I my children are adults, and again, 629 00:34:52,719 --> 00:34:57,600 Speaker 2: you're divorced. That's different. My husband died by suicide, and 630 00:34:57,680 --> 00:35:03,000 Speaker 2: my kids are very sensitive, particularly my daughter about it. 631 00:35:03,120 --> 00:35:06,279 Speaker 2: Six years, right, six, Jess was six years but you 632 00:35:06,320 --> 00:35:09,000 Speaker 2: know it's it's it was her dad. She was young. 633 00:35:09,520 --> 00:35:12,920 Speaker 2: I'm very careful about who I introduce my kids to. 634 00:35:14,080 --> 00:35:16,399 Speaker 2: Casual dates. No, And I would encourage people if you're 635 00:35:16,520 --> 00:35:20,279 Speaker 2: dating in your golden years, don't feel the rush to 636 00:35:20,960 --> 00:35:22,880 Speaker 2: you know, this guy you've had two dates with, to 637 00:35:22,960 --> 00:35:25,120 Speaker 2: introduce him to your children and your grandchildren. 638 00:35:25,480 --> 00:35:28,200 Speaker 1: But then say you're in it like the better part 639 00:35:28,239 --> 00:35:30,880 Speaker 1: of a year and it's a holiday. Do you invite 640 00:35:31,040 --> 00:35:33,080 Speaker 1: his kids as well as yours? 641 00:35:34,760 --> 00:35:39,160 Speaker 2: You know, that's a tougher one. I think it depends 642 00:35:39,200 --> 00:35:43,279 Speaker 2: on the dynamic between you and your kids. Would you 643 00:35:43,360 --> 00:35:43,680 Speaker 2: do it? 644 00:35:46,040 --> 00:35:46,959 Speaker 1: Oh? Yeah, they all come. 645 00:35:47,800 --> 00:35:50,279 Speaker 2: Well, Susan has a house full of ninety you know, 646 00:35:50,320 --> 00:35:55,200 Speaker 2: in every holiday, so really, one boyfriend, excuse me, one 647 00:35:55,280 --> 00:35:57,919 Speaker 2: boyfriend more or less really just kind of melds into 648 00:35:57,920 --> 00:36:01,560 Speaker 2: the crowd. No one cares, all right, Kath, Yeah. 649 00:36:01,360 --> 00:36:05,280 Speaker 1: What are you really looking for in a relationship? 650 00:36:06,360 --> 00:36:09,120 Speaker 2: That is so easy for me to answer, Susan, I'm 651 00:36:09,239 --> 00:36:14,359 Speaker 2: looking for the guy who loves me for who I am, 652 00:36:15,200 --> 00:36:18,040 Speaker 2: wants to spend time with me, wants to wake up 653 00:36:18,080 --> 00:36:21,319 Speaker 2: next to me, isn't trying to change me. It's just 654 00:36:21,440 --> 00:36:23,799 Speaker 2: so happy that I've come into his life and he's 655 00:36:23,840 --> 00:36:24,479 Speaker 2: come into my. 656 00:36:24,440 --> 00:36:27,480 Speaker 1: Life pretty so makes you smile, makes. 657 00:36:27,520 --> 00:36:29,680 Speaker 2: And I make him smile pretty much? What about you? 658 00:36:29,920 --> 00:36:30,160 Speaker 1: Same? 659 00:36:30,680 --> 00:36:34,239 Speaker 2: Yeah? Just not that hard, okay that I like this 660 00:36:34,320 --> 00:36:37,520 Speaker 2: new guy me. Of course you do, because it's not 661 00:36:37,760 --> 00:36:39,280 Speaker 2: it's not what was what you hated? 662 00:36:41,680 --> 00:36:43,600 Speaker 1: I think the answer for you what you would do? 663 00:36:44,000 --> 00:36:47,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly. We've forgotten it, all right, it's all forgotten anyway. 664 00:36:47,840 --> 00:36:50,239 Speaker 2: Thank you all to our listeners. We hope you know 665 00:36:50,280 --> 00:36:53,640 Speaker 2: you learned. You certainly learned about Kathy's fires on the 666 00:36:53,640 --> 00:36:56,960 Speaker 2: grill and on the stove. You've learned about Susan and 667 00:36:56,960 --> 00:36:59,560 Speaker 2: I are looking for in guys. So thank you for 668 00:36:59,640 --> 00:37:01,000 Speaker 2: joining us today. 669 00:37:00,880 --> 00:37:03,760 Speaker 1: And thank you again, and make sure you follow Bachelor 670 00:37:03,800 --> 00:37:07,439 Speaker 1: Happy Hour as we have a lot new, a lot 671 00:37:07,560 --> 00:37:12,480 Speaker 1: more new. I'm telling you a lot of new questions 672 00:37:12,680 --> 00:37:15,560 Speaker 1: episodes coming out every week, and you don't want to 673 00:37:15,600 --> 00:37:18,480 Speaker 1: miss this. And then what we're going to say. 674 00:37:18,520 --> 00:37:21,319 Speaker 2: You never know, You never know, just you just never know. 675 00:37:21,880 --> 00:37:25,600 Speaker 2: But here's the thing. We can't answer your questions if 676 00:37:25,640 --> 00:37:28,120 Speaker 2: you don't submit them to us. It's just that's the 677 00:37:28,120 --> 00:37:31,200 Speaker 2: way that goes. All you have to do, it's simple. 678 00:37:31,560 --> 00:37:37,360 Speaker 2: Go to bachelornation dot com, slash Golden Hour, or even 679 00:37:37,400 --> 00:37:41,359 Speaker 2: easier dm us on Instagram at Bachelor Happy Hour. 680 00:37:41,760 --> 00:37:44,960 Speaker 1: Absolutely listen to our Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour on 681 00:37:45,040 --> 00:37:48,800 Speaker 1: the iHeartRadio app or wherever you listen to your podcast. 682 00:37:48,880 --> 00:37:50,520 Speaker 1: This has been fun, so much fun. 683 00:37:50,600 --> 00:37:51,879 Speaker 2: Have a great week, everybody, come