1
00:00:03,160 --> 00:00:06,120
Speaker 1: Welcome to stuff Mom Never told you from House top

2
00:00:06,200 --> 00:00:14,480
Speaker 1: works dot com. Hello, and welcome to the podcast. I'm

3
00:00:14,560 --> 00:00:18,200
Speaker 1: Kristen and I'm Caroline in Caroline. Let's just go ahead

4
00:00:18,200 --> 00:00:27,200
Speaker 1: and do this. Hi four three two one, Happy new podcast,

5
00:00:27,280 --> 00:00:31,880
Speaker 1: Happy new podcast. Folks. Guess what we made it through

6
00:00:31,880 --> 00:00:36,960
Speaker 1: two thirteen and it is two thousand fourteen. We're coming

7
00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:39,599
Speaker 1: at you the very first day of the year. If

8
00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:42,400
Speaker 1: you are listening to this, the day is coming out.

9
00:00:42,760 --> 00:00:45,959
Speaker 1: And if you are, I hope that you are feeling

10
00:00:46,640 --> 00:00:50,199
Speaker 1: bride eyed and bushy tailed from the evening beforehand. I

11
00:00:50,240 --> 00:00:52,800
Speaker 1: know I typically do on New Year's Day. That's right,

12
00:00:53,040 --> 00:00:55,320
Speaker 1: because you know what makes a head feel great is

13
00:00:55,360 --> 00:00:59,320
Speaker 1: a few glasses of champagne. Yeah, definitely. And Caroline, you

14
00:00:59,360 --> 00:01:02,240
Speaker 1: know a great way to start a new year with

15
00:01:02,320 --> 00:01:08,320
Speaker 1: a rerun. I think it's an interesting rerun, very very topical. Yeah,

16
00:01:08,319 --> 00:01:12,240
Speaker 1: you know old lang zine where my old acquaintance be forgot. Well,

17
00:01:12,240 --> 00:01:16,040
Speaker 1: we're going to actually remember, Um, We're gonna do the

18
00:01:16,080 --> 00:01:20,520
Speaker 1: opposite and remember last year's episode on New Year's Resolutions,

19
00:01:20,840 --> 00:01:25,000
Speaker 1: because tis the season we're making resolutions, and last year

20
00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:27,319
Speaker 1: we took a look at the science of New Year's

21
00:01:27,360 --> 00:01:32,440
Speaker 1: resolutions and will power to find out whether or not

22
00:01:32,560 --> 00:01:35,039
Speaker 1: we really have a very good chance of sticking to

23
00:01:35,240 --> 00:01:38,360
Speaker 1: our guns on them. That's right. And this year, I

24
00:01:38,360 --> 00:01:40,399
Speaker 1: can't say that my resolutions I don't really tend to

25
00:01:40,440 --> 00:01:42,880
Speaker 1: make them. I can't say that they're very different for

26
00:01:42,920 --> 00:01:46,720
Speaker 1: this year, mainly just to uh continue to try to

27
00:01:46,760 --> 00:01:50,120
Speaker 1: get up early and exercise before work. Yeah, I'm I'm

28
00:01:50,200 --> 00:01:53,640
Speaker 1: right there with you. I'm resolving to get up earlier

29
00:01:54,040 --> 00:01:58,520
Speaker 1: as well. I'm not looking forward now. That is so comfortable.

30
00:01:58,680 --> 00:02:01,760
Speaker 1: That is comfortable, but hey, a positive note, I'm also

31
00:02:01,840 --> 00:02:05,680
Speaker 1: resolving better podcast than ever before in two thousand four.

32
00:02:06,080 --> 00:02:11,320
Speaker 1: That's right. Yeah. So with that on a hopeful note,

33
00:02:11,440 --> 00:02:17,880
Speaker 1: we shall now segue into this revisitation of our examination

34
00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:22,720
Speaker 1: of whether or not New Year's resolutions really work. Yeah,

35
00:02:22,720 --> 00:02:29,280
Speaker 1: so take a listen and let us know yours. I myself,

36
00:02:29,720 --> 00:02:32,280
Speaker 1: I'm not really big on New Year's I think the

37
00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:35,839
Speaker 1: pressure is is too high for this holiday. I I

38
00:02:35,919 --> 00:02:39,320
Speaker 1: find it stressful. I would rather just I know it's

39
00:02:39,320 --> 00:02:42,040
Speaker 1: an excuse to party, and yes I will find a party,

40
00:02:42,040 --> 00:02:43,760
Speaker 1: but I would rather just like have a low key

41
00:02:43,840 --> 00:02:46,600
Speaker 1: night of hanging out rather than trying to go somewhere

42
00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:50,440
Speaker 1: where I do have to wear sequence. There's also a

43
00:02:50,440 --> 00:02:54,000
Speaker 1: lot of pressure to like tell yourself and everyone around

44
00:02:54,040 --> 00:02:56,680
Speaker 1: you that you're going to somehow make yourself better. Oh yeah,

45
00:02:56,720 --> 00:02:59,560
Speaker 1: it's the fresh start. And it's not just in the US.

46
00:02:59,639 --> 00:03:04,280
Speaker 1: This is a cross cultural thing. People love New Year's

47
00:03:04,639 --> 00:03:08,400
Speaker 1: because it gives us a chance, at least mentally, to say, Okay,

48
00:03:08,440 --> 00:03:12,440
Speaker 1: you know what, last year, I did some things whatever,

49
00:03:12,639 --> 00:03:15,160
Speaker 1: But I can I can be I can be a

50
00:03:15,160 --> 00:03:18,839
Speaker 1: new person this year. I can resolve to make myself better.

51
00:03:18,880 --> 00:03:21,400
Speaker 1: Do you have you do you make New Year's resolutions? Caroline?

52
00:03:21,560 --> 00:03:24,200
Speaker 1: I do not. I used to when I was a

53
00:03:24,320 --> 00:03:29,839
Speaker 1: naive person who believed that by simply saying I will

54
00:03:29,880 --> 00:03:34,240
Speaker 1: start running, I would start running, and that consistently did

55
00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:36,200
Speaker 1: not happen. So I was like, you know what, instead

56
00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:40,920
Speaker 1: of just disappointing myself every January three, I am just

57
00:03:41,120 --> 00:03:45,200
Speaker 1: going to try to make slow lifestyle changes here and

58
00:03:45,240 --> 00:03:48,920
Speaker 1: there and not worry about promising something on January one. Well.

59
00:03:48,960 --> 00:03:52,560
Speaker 1: As we will get into more in the podcast, Caroline,

60
00:03:52,640 --> 00:03:55,400
Speaker 1: you are really on the right track when it comes

61
00:03:55,440 --> 00:04:00,360
Speaker 1: to finally, when it comes to these resolutions, um. But first,

62
00:04:00,360 --> 00:04:04,920
Speaker 1: before we get into whether or not resolutions really work

63
00:04:05,640 --> 00:04:09,000
Speaker 1: and when they do, because I have known people who

64
00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:12,400
Speaker 1: will set up with some kind of large goal like

65
00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:17,280
Speaker 1: quitting smoking or having a healthier lifestyle, losing weight, and

66
00:04:17,480 --> 00:04:20,599
Speaker 1: they actually stick to it and they do it. Um.

67
00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:24,599
Speaker 1: So we'll talk about the ways that people can succeed

68
00:04:24,600 --> 00:04:28,200
Speaker 1: in those kinds of things. But USA dot gov, just

69
00:04:28,279 --> 00:04:31,080
Speaker 1: for fun, has tracked the kinds of things the most

70
00:04:31,120 --> 00:04:35,160
Speaker 1: common things at least that Americans resolved to do, and

71
00:04:35,279 --> 00:04:42,000
Speaker 1: they're pretty easy to guess. Less boozing, less using. So

72
00:04:42,080 --> 00:04:45,640
Speaker 1: I keep rhyming eating healthier food, getting a better education,

73
00:04:45,800 --> 00:04:49,560
Speaker 1: better job, getting fit, managing debt, which I'm sure is

74
00:04:49,560 --> 00:04:52,200
Speaker 1: a big one. I think money matters in general are

75
00:04:52,200 --> 00:04:57,040
Speaker 1: a big one for people, um, quitting smoking, taking trips, volunteering,

76
00:04:57,200 --> 00:05:03,880
Speaker 1: saving money, basically becoming perfect human beings. Yeah, I do

77
00:05:04,080 --> 00:05:07,200
Speaker 1: better with some of those things. It's all in cycles.

78
00:05:07,800 --> 00:05:10,159
Speaker 1: Sometimes I'm really good at saving money because I just

79
00:05:10,200 --> 00:05:12,880
Speaker 1: get in the mindset of like, no, dummy, you can't

80
00:05:12,880 --> 00:05:15,320
Speaker 1: go to the mall every day, that's just ridiculous. Who

81
00:05:15,360 --> 00:05:17,960
Speaker 1: does that? And so I become really good, you know,

82
00:05:18,080 --> 00:05:20,240
Speaker 1: eating at home instead of eating out and doing all

83
00:05:20,279 --> 00:05:25,039
Speaker 1: that stuff. But sometimes you can't be good all the time. No,

84
00:05:25,320 --> 00:05:30,919
Speaker 1: you need to allow yourself some indulgences, absolutely, but uh.

85
00:05:30,960 --> 00:05:34,200
Speaker 1: One interesting thing though about New Year's resolutions is just

86
00:05:34,760 --> 00:05:38,960
Speaker 1: how long we've been making them. I suspected that it

87
00:05:39,040 --> 00:05:43,200
Speaker 1: was more of a modern cultural invention, that New Year's

88
00:05:43,200 --> 00:05:46,960
Speaker 1: resolutions are this huge thing that everybody has to do,

89
00:05:47,120 --> 00:05:49,720
Speaker 1: but no, in fact, this is coming from the Book

90
00:05:49,760 --> 00:05:54,080
Speaker 1: of Christmas by James Struther's. She talks about the history

91
00:05:54,080 --> 00:05:57,880
Speaker 1: of resolution making and how ancient Romans and Babylonians would

92
00:05:57,960 --> 00:06:02,680
Speaker 1: make resolutions at the start the year, and Babylonians specifically

93
00:06:02,800 --> 00:06:06,240
Speaker 1: promised to repay debts and return borrowed objects, and this

94
00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:10,160
Speaker 1: was also popular among not surprisingly much later in history

95
00:06:10,440 --> 00:06:13,960
Speaker 1: the Puritans. I like the Babylonian resolutions. Well, they're not

96
00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:17,080
Speaker 1: really resolutions, but just like I'm gonna give back what's

97
00:06:17,080 --> 00:06:19,760
Speaker 1: owed that. That seems like it's an easier and more

98
00:06:19,839 --> 00:06:24,200
Speaker 1: noble goal than I'm gonna start eating fewer cheesy poofs,

99
00:06:24,520 --> 00:06:27,440
Speaker 1: although that's pretty noble too. You can accomplish it. It's

100
00:06:27,480 --> 00:06:32,360
Speaker 1: it's true, um, but it's even still though. Uh, these days,

101
00:06:32,400 --> 00:06:36,279
Speaker 1: I'd say there's a lot of cynicism towards resolutions, even

102
00:06:36,320 --> 00:06:38,960
Speaker 1: though it's something that it's it's a strange part of

103
00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:42,640
Speaker 1: almost human nature. It seems like considering how long we've

104
00:06:42,640 --> 00:06:47,000
Speaker 1: been doing this. But it's also been accompanied by this

105
00:06:47,960 --> 00:06:54,479
Speaker 1: growing acknowledgement that maybe resolutions are just empty gestures that

106
00:06:54,520 --> 00:06:57,880
Speaker 1: we make to make ourselves feel better at the beginning

107
00:06:57,920 --> 00:07:01,480
Speaker 1: of the year. For instance, a struther quotes Mark Twain,

108
00:07:02,120 --> 00:07:05,720
Speaker 1: who once said New Year's Day is now the accepted

109
00:07:05,720 --> 00:07:09,160
Speaker 1: time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week

110
00:07:09,320 --> 00:07:13,320
Speaker 1: you can begin paving hell with them as usual. Oh,

111
00:07:13,360 --> 00:07:16,720
Speaker 1: Samuel Clemens, some people last longer than a week. Yeah,

112
00:07:16,720 --> 00:07:21,080
Speaker 1: oh yeah. Well. Oscar Wilde also was skeptical. He said

113
00:07:21,440 --> 00:07:23,920
Speaker 1: good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a

114
00:07:23,960 --> 00:07:27,840
Speaker 1: bank where they have no account. And the thing is

115
00:07:28,320 --> 00:07:31,040
Speaker 1: Mark Twain and Oscar Wilde were not off the mark

116
00:07:31,080 --> 00:07:34,880
Speaker 1: in terms of being dubious. The people will actually stick

117
00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:39,400
Speaker 1: to their resolutions. So there were two studies by John

118
00:07:39,440 --> 00:07:43,480
Speaker 1: Norcross of the University of Scranton back in ninety nine.

119
00:07:43,640 --> 00:07:47,280
Speaker 1: John John Norcross has actually focused a lot on resolutions,

120
00:07:47,320 --> 00:07:51,400
Speaker 1: will power, all that stuff, and he found that seventy

121
00:07:51,480 --> 00:07:55,200
Speaker 1: seven percent of people maintain their resolutions for one week.

122
00:07:55,720 --> 00:07:57,720
Speaker 1: So here we go one week that's that's pretty good.

123
00:07:57,800 --> 00:08:02,040
Speaker 1: Good job only maintained for the full two years that

124
00:08:02,080 --> 00:08:04,600
Speaker 1: they followed people, But I still think that's pretty good

125
00:08:04,920 --> 00:08:08,640
Speaker 1: almost of people holding onto the resolutions for two years. Yeah,

126
00:08:08,720 --> 00:08:10,840
Speaker 1: although I mean we do we don't have details on

127
00:08:10,880 --> 00:08:14,680
Speaker 1: what precisely those resolutions were. Um. And I also really

128
00:08:14,720 --> 00:08:17,800
Speaker 1: liked the name of the study was called the Resolution

129
00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:23,840
Speaker 1: Solution Longitudinal Examination of New Year's Change Attempts. I love

130
00:08:23,880 --> 00:08:28,520
Speaker 1: academia sometimes. Um. Yeah. And among those two d people

131
00:08:28,760 --> 00:08:32,040
Speaker 1: that Norcross tracked, a little bit over half of them

132
00:08:32,080 --> 00:08:35,520
Speaker 1: experienced at least one slip up. And those slip ups

133
00:08:35,559 --> 00:08:39,120
Speaker 1: would be precipitated by self reported lack of personal control

134
00:08:39,520 --> 00:08:43,040
Speaker 1: excessive stress, which is something to keep in mind as

135
00:08:43,080 --> 00:08:48,280
Speaker 1: we talk about resolutions and negative emotions. And even though um,

136
00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:52,400
Speaker 1: those studies are a little bit dated there, the numbers

137
00:08:52,559 --> 00:08:55,079
Speaker 1: still apply today for the most part. It's not like

138
00:08:55,160 --> 00:09:00,200
Speaker 1: we've gotten any better really keeping resolutions in the intervening years. Um.

139
00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:04,440
Speaker 1: John Tierney over at the New York Times recently looked

140
00:09:04,480 --> 00:09:08,560
Speaker 1: at statistics on how how good we are these days

141
00:09:08,880 --> 00:09:13,040
Speaker 1: at keeping resolutions and forewarned that, sorry to say this, folks,

142
00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:17,119
Speaker 1: a third of people will have broken their resolutions by January,

143
00:09:17,160 --> 00:09:20,080
Speaker 1: and half of us will just give up by July.

144
00:09:21,120 --> 00:09:26,240
Speaker 1: But that still leaves fifty percent after July. UM. And

145
00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:30,000
Speaker 1: one of the reasons why we tend to give up

146
00:09:30,200 --> 00:09:34,040
Speaker 1: UM has to do with us finding ourselves or at

147
00:09:34,120 --> 00:09:38,280
Speaker 1: least thinking ourselves too busy, perhaps to really put the

148
00:09:38,280 --> 00:09:42,240
Speaker 1: effort to dig in and make the sacrifices UM. Also

149
00:09:42,240 --> 00:09:44,719
Speaker 1: in The New York Times, Tara Parker Pope reported on

150
00:09:44,760 --> 00:09:48,600
Speaker 1: a two thousand seventh survey by time management firm Franklin

151
00:09:48,679 --> 00:09:52,320
Speaker 1: Covee that pulled fifteen thousand customers UH, and they found

152
00:09:52,320 --> 00:09:56,280
Speaker 1: that nearly forty percent attributed breaking their resolutions to having

153
00:09:56,320 --> 00:10:00,160
Speaker 1: too many other things to do. And then thirteent we're

154
00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:02,200
Speaker 1: just i would say, probably a little more honest, and

155
00:10:02,240 --> 00:10:05,560
Speaker 1: said they just weren't as committed to the resolutions as

156
00:10:05,600 --> 00:10:09,240
Speaker 1: they were when the clock struck midnight. Yeah. Well, it's hard.

157
00:10:09,320 --> 00:10:13,079
Speaker 1: It's hard to go from being a couch center day

158
00:10:13,120 --> 00:10:14,760
Speaker 1: in and day out to being like, no, I'm going

159
00:10:14,800 --> 00:10:17,200
Speaker 1: to train for a marathon. I mean, that's that's a

160
00:10:17,280 --> 00:10:20,160
Speaker 1: major step. And to just decide automatically that you're going

161
00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:22,920
Speaker 1: to do that, like maybe get an app like the

162
00:10:22,920 --> 00:10:25,360
Speaker 1: couch to the five k app or something like that,

163
00:10:25,440 --> 00:10:27,560
Speaker 1: like take it in steps. It is. It can be

164
00:10:27,640 --> 00:10:30,160
Speaker 1: so overwhelming, I know, you know what I'm talking about.

165
00:10:30,160 --> 00:10:32,560
Speaker 1: It can be so overwhelming to be like, I'm just

166
00:10:32,559 --> 00:10:35,480
Speaker 1: gonna make a radical life change, right just because it's

167
00:10:35,520 --> 00:10:39,160
Speaker 1: New Year's Yeah, and we don't think about, uh, the

168
00:10:39,240 --> 00:10:44,400
Speaker 1: incremental steps needed to get to that place of actually

169
00:10:44,520 --> 00:10:50,000
Speaker 1: having a resolution that works. Yeah. Um, So, speaking of

170
00:10:50,360 --> 00:10:53,880
Speaker 1: resolutions working, you you do really have to be committed

171
00:10:53,880 --> 00:10:55,839
Speaker 1: and so, you know, Christen side of the thirty three percent,

172
00:10:55,920 --> 00:10:58,880
Speaker 1: he said, they simply just weren't committed. They didn't feel like,

173
00:10:58,960 --> 00:11:00,960
Speaker 1: you know, following three on my ever promise they made.

174
00:11:01,360 --> 00:11:05,400
Speaker 1: And uh. Kimberly Moffatt, who's a psychotherapist, quoted in the

175
00:11:05,440 --> 00:11:08,760
Speaker 1: Huffington Post, said that New Year's resolutions only work in

176
00:11:08,920 --> 00:11:12,800
Speaker 1: very few cases, and typically with those who have a

177
00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:15,480
Speaker 1: will of steel. And this gets into the whole like

178
00:11:15,679 --> 00:11:20,480
Speaker 1: willpower issue, like strength of will what makes people commit,

179
00:11:21,080 --> 00:11:23,600
Speaker 1: and so it can be really hard to commit. This

180
00:11:23,679 --> 00:11:26,800
Speaker 1: is another John Norcross study who mentioned him earlier, this

181
00:11:26,880 --> 00:11:29,920
Speaker 1: one in two thousand two. He found that by the

182
00:11:30,040 --> 00:11:34,000
Speaker 1: end of January, thirty six percent had already broken their resolutions.

183
00:11:34,080 --> 00:11:37,080
Speaker 1: Like we said, it can be overwhelming, and it really

184
00:11:37,120 --> 00:11:39,360
Speaker 1: is overwhelming if we're faced with too many tasks. So

185
00:11:39,440 --> 00:11:41,360
Speaker 1: not only are we like going back to work, we're

186
00:11:41,360 --> 00:11:44,200
Speaker 1: getting over the holidays, we're trying to clean up after

187
00:11:44,240 --> 00:11:46,640
Speaker 1: all the relatives have been in the house, and we

188
00:11:46,720 --> 00:11:48,920
Speaker 1: want to start training for a marathon. It can just

189
00:11:49,040 --> 00:11:53,520
Speaker 1: be a lot to handle. Yeah, And Michael Bader, who

190
00:11:53,559 --> 00:11:57,280
Speaker 1: is a senior advisor for the Institute for Change, also

191
00:11:57,920 --> 00:12:02,280
Speaker 1: says that resolutions don't work because we have an unconscious

192
00:12:02,360 --> 00:12:06,920
Speaker 1: resolution to not change. Basically, he thinks that our bad

193
00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:10,600
Speaker 1: behaviors serve unconscious beliefs and needs that are the building

194
00:12:10,640 --> 00:12:15,360
Speaker 1: blocks of our identities. So he gives an example of

195
00:12:15,880 --> 00:12:20,160
Speaker 1: an overeater who's unsuccessful at dieting because binging provides momentary

196
00:12:20,320 --> 00:12:25,120
Speaker 1: relief from feelings of loneliness and or anxiety. But I mean,

197
00:12:25,320 --> 00:12:27,200
Speaker 1: the thing is though, because he he also goes on

198
00:12:27,240 --> 00:12:28,960
Speaker 1: to say, like, this has nothing to do with heredity

199
00:12:29,120 --> 00:12:33,560
Speaker 1: or neurobiology, you know, it's just these these unconscious parts

200
00:12:33,600 --> 00:12:36,280
Speaker 1: of who we are. We can't divorce ourselves from them.

201
00:12:36,280 --> 00:12:38,680
Speaker 1: But it sounds like that's just not getting at the

202
00:12:38,840 --> 00:12:42,920
Speaker 1: real root of the problem. And shrugging off. You know,

203
00:12:43,080 --> 00:12:45,640
Speaker 1: Oh well, I'm not gonna I'm not gonna change really,

204
00:12:45,679 --> 00:12:48,920
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna like, I don't feel like cheesy poofs

205
00:12:48,960 --> 00:12:52,960
Speaker 1: are a cornerstone of my identity. I just really like them,

206
00:12:53,080 --> 00:12:55,319
Speaker 1: that's all, Like I could. I don't think the giving

207
00:12:55,360 --> 00:12:58,880
Speaker 1: up cheesy poofs will reveal anything that's like deep seated

208
00:12:58,880 --> 00:13:03,000
Speaker 1: in my brain. But what does the poof represent Caroline happiness?

209
00:13:03,040 --> 00:13:08,320
Speaker 1: Oh oh there it is? Um Well, another reason is

210
00:13:08,360 --> 00:13:11,280
Speaker 1: that we really don't want to do them. According to

211
00:13:11,800 --> 00:13:15,040
Speaker 1: this is Steve Airy, who's a negative Nancy confidence coach.

212
00:13:15,160 --> 00:13:18,160
Speaker 1: Quoted over at life Hacker. He said that this is

213
00:13:18,240 --> 00:13:22,000
Speaker 1: because resolutions are really about what we should do rather

214
00:13:22,080 --> 00:13:24,040
Speaker 1: than what we want to do. So it's like doing

215
00:13:24,040 --> 00:13:26,439
Speaker 1: your homework instead of playing video games. You know, It's

216
00:13:26,440 --> 00:13:28,640
Speaker 1: like it's what you should do to better yourself, but

217
00:13:28,800 --> 00:13:31,959
Speaker 1: do you really feel like you want to do it?

218
00:13:32,440 --> 00:13:36,000
Speaker 1: And then he goes on to explain that they're like goals,

219
00:13:36,040 --> 00:13:38,560
Speaker 1: but he said that this is a negative which I

220
00:13:38,640 --> 00:13:40,400
Speaker 1: kind of take issue with and I think is weird.

221
00:13:40,840 --> 00:13:44,000
Speaker 1: So he says that resolutions are like goals, which puts

222
00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:46,400
Speaker 1: a gap between where you are now and where you

223
00:13:46,440 --> 00:13:49,559
Speaker 1: want to be, And I don't think that's inherently negative.

224
00:13:49,600 --> 00:13:51,280
Speaker 1: I think if you see a goal that you want

225
00:13:51,280 --> 00:13:53,400
Speaker 1: to go for, whether that's getting a new job or

226
00:13:53,440 --> 00:13:55,640
Speaker 1: losing weight, you should go for it. But anyway, he

227
00:13:55,760 --> 00:13:59,160
Speaker 1: says that making resolutions make you look at what's next,

228
00:13:59,320 --> 00:14:01,480
Speaker 1: not what's in front of you, and they make you

229
00:14:01,520 --> 00:14:05,120
Speaker 1: feel less than lowering your self esteem, which I think

230
00:14:05,240 --> 00:14:08,000
Speaker 1: I feel like he's getting backwards. I don't know about

231
00:14:08,040 --> 00:14:10,840
Speaker 1: your I mean I could see that coming into effect

232
00:14:10,920 --> 00:14:14,440
Speaker 1: if you set yourself up for cycles of defeat where

233
00:14:14,640 --> 00:14:18,920
Speaker 1: you continually set goals and then that are too ambitious

234
00:14:18,960 --> 00:14:20,840
Speaker 1: and then you don't meet up to them, and then

235
00:14:20,920 --> 00:14:24,880
Speaker 1: that would probably ding your self esteem and you know,

236
00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:28,000
Speaker 1: lower you rather than propel you forward. Because it seems

237
00:14:28,040 --> 00:14:33,560
Speaker 1: like resolution should be more of a motivational factor. I

238
00:14:33,640 --> 00:14:37,040
Speaker 1: think it's more something that Christie Hedges, who's a leadership

239
00:14:37,080 --> 00:14:41,400
Speaker 1: coach um and quoted over at Forbes, talked about the

240
00:14:41,440 --> 00:14:45,480
Speaker 1: fact that we set too lofty of goals. It's like

241
00:14:45,520 --> 00:14:50,680
Speaker 1: this all or nothing thing I'm going to become. You know,

242
00:14:50,960 --> 00:14:53,840
Speaker 1: I'm going to sculpt my body so much so that

243
00:14:53,880 --> 00:14:56,120
Speaker 1: when I go to the beach, people will ask to

244
00:14:56,120 --> 00:14:58,880
Speaker 1: take my photo, and that's not gonna it's not gonna

245
00:14:58,920 --> 00:15:01,240
Speaker 1: happen with you know, one zoom boo class a week

246
00:15:01,320 --> 00:15:04,840
Speaker 1: or whatever it is that we think um can do it,

247
00:15:04,880 --> 00:15:10,440
Speaker 1: and so when we don't hit this transformational point in

248
00:15:10,480 --> 00:15:13,240
Speaker 1: a short amount of time, then we just throw the

249
00:15:13,280 --> 00:15:15,840
Speaker 1: whole throw the whole thing out. Yeah. Well. She also

250
00:15:15,880 --> 00:15:18,400
Speaker 1: says that culturally we're all pretty cynical and that we

251
00:15:18,480 --> 00:15:20,920
Speaker 1: live up to our low expectations because we're setting these

252
00:15:20,960 --> 00:15:24,920
Speaker 1: incredible goals that we don't honestly expect to meet, and

253
00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:27,400
Speaker 1: so it's that much easier to just be like, whatever,

254
00:15:27,520 --> 00:15:29,200
Speaker 1: I'm not going to go run anymore or I'm not

255
00:15:29,240 --> 00:15:31,560
Speaker 1: gonna do X y Z anymore, because I never really

256
00:15:31,560 --> 00:15:34,280
Speaker 1: expected that i'd you know, succeed anyway. I also like

257
00:15:34,320 --> 00:15:37,720
Speaker 1: how she refers to this as the cynical zeitgeist, which

258
00:15:37,760 --> 00:15:44,040
Speaker 1: supports the gravitational pull of the status quo cynical zeitgeist.

259
00:15:44,080 --> 00:15:48,880
Speaker 1: Everybody's a daria um. But there is some science though too,

260
00:15:50,120 --> 00:15:55,120
Speaker 1: resolutions and more specifically to the will power that it

261
00:15:55,160 --> 00:15:58,520
Speaker 1: takes to change things. Because I think that resolutions can

262
00:15:58,560 --> 00:16:00,800
Speaker 1: be a very good thing. I think that we're just

263
00:16:00,920 --> 00:16:04,200
Speaker 1: going about them oftentimes the wrong way. But when you

264
00:16:04,280 --> 00:16:09,640
Speaker 1: figure out how willpower works in the brain, maybe we

265
00:16:09,680 --> 00:16:14,480
Speaker 1: are arming ourselves with some some information to help us

266
00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:23,160
Speaker 1: succeed because sticking to resolutions i e. Willpower takes actual energy. Yeah,

267
00:16:23,240 --> 00:16:24,960
Speaker 1: so it turns out that when you run out of

268
00:16:24,960 --> 00:16:27,760
Speaker 1: will plat power, you're running out of energy. Like Kristen said,

269
00:16:27,800 --> 00:16:32,600
Speaker 1: that is powered by glucost in the bloodstream, which Roy F. Baumeister,

270
00:16:32,680 --> 00:16:37,480
Speaker 1: a social psychologist, calls ego depletion. He points out that

271
00:16:37,560 --> 00:16:40,560
Speaker 1: you really have to anticipate the limits of your willpower.

272
00:16:40,640 --> 00:16:44,120
Speaker 1: And what is it about willpower? Why does it run out?

273
00:16:44,160 --> 00:16:47,600
Speaker 1: What's going on? Well, one of the reasons why it

274
00:16:47,720 --> 00:16:52,440
Speaker 1: runs out is because all of the research into into

275
00:16:52,440 --> 00:16:57,760
Speaker 1: ego depletion, into willpower, UM finds that we don't really

276
00:16:58,280 --> 00:17:00,840
Speaker 1: have very much of it. Well, power is a very

277
00:17:01,320 --> 00:17:06,760
Speaker 1: fleeting thing humans like to give into their indulgences, and um,

278
00:17:06,800 --> 00:17:11,280
Speaker 1: if we don't exercise it much like a muscle, we

279
00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:13,719
Speaker 1: we aren't going to be able to to use it

280
00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:16,800
Speaker 1: very much. Um. And this was something that uh jonah

281
00:17:16,880 --> 00:17:20,280
Speaker 1: Laire who before I can hear eyebrows raising right now,

282
00:17:20,320 --> 00:17:23,679
Speaker 1: I realized he is uh run into some issues lately

283
00:17:23,720 --> 00:17:27,159
Speaker 1: with some citations, but nevertheless he wrote. Uh. He did

284
00:17:27,160 --> 00:17:30,640
Speaker 1: write a fascinating piece over at wired awhile ago Um

285
00:17:30,680 --> 00:17:33,000
Speaker 1: called the willpower Trick, and I just wanted to call

286
00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:36,080
Speaker 1: out some of these studies that he highlighted. Uh. He

287
00:17:36,200 --> 00:17:40,479
Speaker 1: talked about behavioral economists Baba Shiv, who asked two separate

288
00:17:40,480 --> 00:17:43,919
Speaker 1: groups to memorize either a two digit or a seven

289
00:17:43,960 --> 00:17:48,680
Speaker 1: digit number, and later on those two groups were um

290
00:17:49,160 --> 00:17:52,919
Speaker 1: tasked with choosing between a piece of chocolate cake or

291
00:17:53,040 --> 00:17:54,960
Speaker 1: a fruit bowl, knowing that the fruit would be a

292
00:17:54,960 --> 00:17:59,520
Speaker 1: healthier option, and he found Shiv found that the people

293
00:17:59,640 --> 00:18:03,840
Speaker 1: who to memorize the seven digit number were much more

294
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:07,639
Speaker 1: likely to just given to the temptation and eat a

295
00:18:07,640 --> 00:18:13,200
Speaker 1: piece of chocolate cake because ships surmised their brains were

296
00:18:13,359 --> 00:18:18,040
Speaker 1: more tax those blood glu glucose levels were lower, and

297
00:18:18,080 --> 00:18:20,639
Speaker 1: hence they had more ego depletion. Yeah, and this is

298
00:18:20,640 --> 00:18:22,600
Speaker 1: the same thing. You get home from work. All day,

299
00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:26,800
Speaker 1: You've probably exercised willpower, not just in avoiding the dessert

300
00:18:26,840 --> 00:18:30,240
Speaker 1: tray at launch maybe, but also like not cursing all

301
00:18:30,280 --> 00:18:33,240
Speaker 1: day work, You've exercised willpower to not be your usual

302
00:18:33,320 --> 00:18:37,320
Speaker 1: jerk self. You get home at night, your brain is tired,

303
00:18:37,480 --> 00:18:41,000
Speaker 1: and you're like, Okay, I could grill a chicken breast,

304
00:18:41,520 --> 00:18:44,560
Speaker 1: or I could just eat this whole macaroni and cheese

305
00:18:44,600 --> 00:18:48,800
Speaker 1: plate from the grocery store. I love cheese. Is the theme.

306
00:18:48,920 --> 00:18:50,400
Speaker 1: I think this is a thing. Think it's a theme,

307
00:18:50,440 --> 00:18:54,520
Speaker 1: but I like it. Um. But going more into the research.

308
00:18:54,680 --> 00:18:59,880
Speaker 1: Back in the nineteen sixties, there's a famous experiment by

309
00:19:00,160 --> 00:19:04,560
Speaker 1: a guy named Walter Mitchell who wanted to test whether

310
00:19:04,680 --> 00:19:09,000
Speaker 1: or not kids could hold out for treats, basically looking

311
00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:14,159
Speaker 1: at will power in childhood, and he identified among the

312
00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:18,080
Speaker 1: kids who were able to hold out, he identified something

313
00:19:18,119 --> 00:19:23,760
Speaker 1: he called strategic allocation of attention, in which they literally

314
00:19:23,960 --> 00:19:26,800
Speaker 1: distracted themselves from the I think it was a marshmallow

315
00:19:27,080 --> 00:19:28,920
Speaker 1: or some kind of chocolate treat on the table that

316
00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:32,480
Speaker 1: it was sitting there. Um. Yeah, because he told them

317
00:19:32,520 --> 00:19:35,640
Speaker 1: that they could either eat the marshmallow now or wait

318
00:19:35,760 --> 00:19:37,479
Speaker 1: until the researcher comes back in the room. And then

319
00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:41,120
Speaker 1: they get to marshmallows. And all of the kids who

320
00:19:41,160 --> 00:19:43,879
Speaker 1: just sat there and stare at the marshmallow and tried

321
00:19:43,920 --> 00:19:47,760
Speaker 1: to wait it out had much more trouble and would

322
00:19:47,800 --> 00:19:50,359
Speaker 1: usually just gobble up the marshmallow. But the kids who

323
00:19:50,680 --> 00:19:53,000
Speaker 1: would cover their eyes so they couldn't see it, they

324
00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:59,280
Speaker 1: would sing songs themselves, actually hide underneath the table, essentially

325
00:19:59,359 --> 00:20:04,720
Speaker 1: block being that temptation stimulus from view. We're able to

326
00:20:04,760 --> 00:20:08,000
Speaker 1: hold out the longest. And so that's um one thing

327
00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:11,240
Speaker 1: that researchers have learned about willpower is the fact that

328
00:20:11,280 --> 00:20:14,800
Speaker 1: those of us who might seem to have the most

329
00:20:15,040 --> 00:20:20,360
Speaker 1: actually have to exercise it the least because we sidestep

330
00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:25,199
Speaker 1: temptation by just keeping those things out of out of

331
00:20:25,240 --> 00:20:28,840
Speaker 1: our view. Like if if you you're you know, pitfall

332
00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:32,600
Speaker 1: is say chocolate or cigarettes or alcohol, you don't have

333
00:20:32,680 --> 00:20:36,719
Speaker 1: chocolate or cigarettes or alcohol anywhere. You know. It's like

334
00:20:36,960 --> 00:20:38,720
Speaker 1: if you're an alcoholic, you're not going to go to

335
00:20:38,760 --> 00:20:41,600
Speaker 1: a bar. Yeah, I read. There was one comment au

336
00:20:41,600 --> 00:20:43,440
Speaker 1: on the Wired article. The guy said that he kept

337
00:20:43,480 --> 00:20:45,320
Speaker 1: his pack of cigarettes. He would only let himself buy

338
00:20:45,320 --> 00:20:46,520
Speaker 1: one pack at a time, and he would keep it

339
00:20:46,560 --> 00:20:48,880
Speaker 1: in the back seat of his car, so every time

340
00:20:48,920 --> 00:20:51,000
Speaker 1: he wanted to smoke, he would have to go out,

341
00:20:51,200 --> 00:20:54,120
Speaker 1: get his keys, go outside, get the pack of cigarettes,

342
00:20:54,200 --> 00:20:56,120
Speaker 1: get one cigarette, because he would only let himself take

343
00:20:56,119 --> 00:20:58,240
Speaker 1: one cigarette at a time, and then smoke it, and

344
00:20:58,280 --> 00:21:00,840
Speaker 1: so that cut way down on just like the boredom smoking,

345
00:21:01,880 --> 00:21:05,399
Speaker 1: and he actually ended up cutting way down in general.

346
00:21:05,440 --> 00:21:08,000
Speaker 1: And I'm like, well, am I going to have to

347
00:21:08,080 --> 00:21:10,640
Speaker 1: keep all of my chocolate in my car? You gotta

348
00:21:10,720 --> 00:21:14,199
Speaker 1: keep the cheesy poofs in the trunk, Caroline, I have

349
00:21:14,320 --> 00:21:18,320
Speaker 1: a hatch. I can so easily get to it. Um yeah,

350
00:21:18,359 --> 00:21:20,720
Speaker 1: but that's the whole thing too. I don't keep ice

351
00:21:20,720 --> 00:21:23,560
Speaker 1: cream in the house. I don't go down the ice

352
00:21:23,600 --> 00:21:25,800
Speaker 1: cream aisle at the grocery store. Like if I super

353
00:21:25,840 --> 00:21:28,000
Speaker 1: duper want ice cream, it means that I have to

354
00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:29,760
Speaker 1: either go to the grocery store and get it or

355
00:21:29,840 --> 00:21:33,480
Speaker 1: just like stop by the ice cream parlor on the

356
00:21:33,480 --> 00:21:35,920
Speaker 1: way home, which it's just so much of a hassle.

357
00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:38,520
Speaker 1: Who wants to do that? Well? And the only thing

358
00:21:38,560 --> 00:21:41,280
Speaker 1: though about this kind of research is that it definitely

359
00:21:41,280 --> 00:21:47,120
Speaker 1: gives us more insight into eliminating problem behaviors, but not

360
00:21:47,240 --> 00:21:53,359
Speaker 1: so much into activating positive ones. In terms of exercising.

361
00:21:53,600 --> 00:21:57,240
Speaker 1: Going to those zoomba classes, Um, I can't keep up.

362
00:21:57,680 --> 00:22:00,280
Speaker 1: Uh yeah, I've never taken a Zooma US, but I

363
00:22:00,320 --> 00:22:02,440
Speaker 1: have a feeling I would. I don't know. I got

364
00:22:02,440 --> 00:22:05,720
Speaker 1: I got two left feight, folks um or you know,

365
00:22:05,760 --> 00:22:08,720
Speaker 1: like learning a new language or going on trips as

366
00:22:08,800 --> 00:22:14,479
Speaker 1: kind of volunteering, those kinds of things that require more time.

367
00:22:14,640 --> 00:22:16,560
Speaker 1: But again it seems like, no matter what the big

368
00:22:16,640 --> 00:22:21,080
Speaker 1: lesson is, you gotta start small. Yeah, definitely, Yeah, small

369
00:22:21,119 --> 00:22:24,480
Speaker 1: steps are best. This was a stress in l a

370
00:22:24,520 --> 00:22:29,000
Speaker 1: Times article in December. Take short walks at work, things

371
00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:32,280
Speaker 1: like that, things that can add up to small successes

372
00:22:32,320 --> 00:22:35,280
Speaker 1: that can add up to a better feeling of self control,

373
00:22:35,359 --> 00:22:38,679
Speaker 1: self esteem, like thinking, Okay, that wasn't hard getting up

374
00:22:38,680 --> 00:22:41,240
Speaker 1: at three thirty. When you're just like head on your desk,

375
00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:43,440
Speaker 1: getting up and just taking a walk around your floor,

376
00:22:43,520 --> 00:22:46,280
Speaker 1: around your building or whatever, that eventually leads you to

377
00:22:46,280 --> 00:22:49,000
Speaker 1: be like, okay, well maybe then I can run a

378
00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:51,240
Speaker 1: mile on the treadmill instead when I get home, you know,

379
00:22:51,440 --> 00:22:54,720
Speaker 1: adding up to bigger and bigger things. And same with

380
00:22:54,880 --> 00:22:58,199
Speaker 1: the same with food. Um, it's the whole Like if

381
00:22:58,200 --> 00:23:01,119
Speaker 1: you're drastically cutting everything, like okay, well I'm gonna go

382
00:23:01,200 --> 00:23:04,359
Speaker 1: from eating like a normal average American diet to let

383
00:23:04,480 --> 00:23:07,160
Speaker 1: us I'm gonna eat nothing but let us in tomatoes.

384
00:23:07,320 --> 00:23:11,120
Speaker 1: Yeah a that's not a balanced diet. Yeah, you need

385
00:23:11,160 --> 00:23:14,760
Speaker 1: some frosted flakes in there. And also remember that those

386
00:23:14,800 --> 00:23:17,920
Speaker 1: glucost levels too. It means that has a big thing

387
00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:20,879
Speaker 1: to do with the food, Like people need to to

388
00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:24,400
Speaker 1: eat to be healthy to keep those glucosts. Yeah, that's why. Yeah,

389
00:23:24,440 --> 00:23:26,320
Speaker 1: that's why your crash diets are not gonna work. That's

390
00:23:26,359 --> 00:23:29,639
Speaker 1: why it has to be a lifestyle change. And Kimberly Moffatt,

391
00:23:29,680 --> 00:23:33,359
Speaker 1: who we referenced earlier, said, in reference to food in particular,

392
00:23:33,480 --> 00:23:36,600
Speaker 1: think of what you're adding instead of what you're taking away.

393
00:23:36,840 --> 00:23:39,600
Speaker 1: This is something I've actually told my mother, who refuses,

394
00:23:41,520 --> 00:23:43,679
Speaker 1: I don't know it, refuses to cut back in some

395
00:23:43,840 --> 00:23:46,119
Speaker 1: areas and add and others. I'm like, don't think of

396
00:23:46,160 --> 00:23:49,199
Speaker 1: it as dieting. This isn't like your neutral system. This

397
00:23:49,280 --> 00:23:53,320
Speaker 1: isn't your eating rice cakes and being sad. This is

398
00:23:53,400 --> 00:23:57,080
Speaker 1: just trying to add fruits and vegetables. Maybe take away

399
00:23:57,119 --> 00:23:59,560
Speaker 1: a little bacon. I know, cut who wants to take

400
00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:03,520
Speaker 1: away bake again? I don't know nobody, but yeah, And

401
00:24:03,520 --> 00:24:07,600
Speaker 1: and people recommend that you don't spread yourself. Then, in

402
00:24:07,640 --> 00:24:10,720
Speaker 1: addition to this, you want to set a single clear

403
00:24:10,840 --> 00:24:14,359
Speaker 1: goal because, as we mentioned earlier, being overwhelmed with tasks

404
00:24:14,440 --> 00:24:17,919
Speaker 1: and half two's and must dues. It just gets to

405
00:24:17,920 --> 00:24:19,880
Speaker 1: be too much and you won't stick to it. Yeah.

406
00:24:19,960 --> 00:24:23,560
Speaker 1: And on that same note, I think this is really important.

407
00:24:24,040 --> 00:24:28,080
Speaker 1: Don't overreact if you have a lapse. Lapses happen if

408
00:24:28,119 --> 00:24:32,320
Speaker 1: you skip a day of running. If you eat that hamburger,

409
00:24:32,440 --> 00:24:36,960
Speaker 1: enjoy it. Enjoy the relaxation that you take from not

410
00:24:37,119 --> 00:24:42,879
Speaker 1: exercising one day. Enjoy the satiation from that burger or

411
00:24:42,920 --> 00:24:45,680
Speaker 1: whatever food it is that the delights you so much,

412
00:24:45,720 --> 00:24:48,479
Speaker 1: and then you know and keep going. Don't expect yourself

413
00:24:48,520 --> 00:24:53,520
Speaker 1: to be completely perfect right off the bat or really ever. Yeah.

414
00:24:53,520 --> 00:24:55,879
Speaker 1: And also I mean, don't think that that burger or

415
00:24:55,920 --> 00:24:59,840
Speaker 1: that day off from running means your entire diet or

416
00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:03,480
Speaker 1: exercise regiment or whatever is off track. You've that's just

417
00:25:03,560 --> 00:25:07,480
Speaker 1: one one day, one burger, one whatever, but a bag

418
00:25:07,520 --> 00:25:11,080
Speaker 1: of cheesey poofs whatever, But just that just means that

419
00:25:11,119 --> 00:25:14,000
Speaker 1: the next day you're back at it. Right. Um, And

420
00:25:14,160 --> 00:25:17,359
Speaker 1: we have not touched on gender at all in this podcast,

421
00:25:17,440 --> 00:25:22,800
Speaker 1: but this, this whole thing about willpower and managing stress

422
00:25:22,880 --> 00:25:27,879
Speaker 1: and keeping your energy levels up is especially pertinent to women.

423
00:25:27,920 --> 00:25:31,400
Speaker 1: Because the American Psychological Association did a pretty end depth

424
00:25:31,480 --> 00:25:36,640
Speaker 1: survey not too long ago on gender stress and sticking

425
00:25:36,720 --> 00:25:41,880
Speaker 1: to resolutions and willpower and found that women may have

426
00:25:42,080 --> 00:25:47,240
Speaker 1: a harder time sticking to goals like these than men do.

427
00:25:47,640 --> 00:25:51,240
Speaker 1: And I wonder if, off the bat, and I wasn't

428
00:25:51,240 --> 00:25:53,320
Speaker 1: able to find any statistics on this, I wonder if

429
00:25:53,560 --> 00:25:59,080
Speaker 1: just from the get go, women um might set more resolutions,

430
00:25:59,160 --> 00:26:03,440
Speaker 1: and perhaps more unrealistic resolutions. And I only say that

431
00:26:03,560 --> 00:26:06,280
Speaker 1: because I feel like as soon as the holidays are over,

432
00:26:06,560 --> 00:26:10,320
Speaker 1: the messages that we are immediately inundated with our swimsuit

433
00:26:10,359 --> 00:26:14,840
Speaker 1: seasons around the corner, ladies, Yeah, drop those last five pounds,

434
00:26:15,080 --> 00:26:18,760
Speaker 1: come out all that turkey way. I'm going to give

435
00:26:18,800 --> 00:26:21,399
Speaker 1: birth to a turkey. Um. Yeah. It turns out in

436
00:26:21,400 --> 00:26:24,600
Speaker 1: the study that both genders do cite lack of willpower

437
00:26:24,640 --> 00:26:28,360
Speaker 1: as the number one barrier to change, but women are

438
00:26:28,400 --> 00:26:30,880
Speaker 1: more likely than men to cite the lack of willpower

439
00:26:30,920 --> 00:26:33,919
Speaker 1: as a barrier preventing them from making the lifestyle changes

440
00:26:34,359 --> 00:26:38,720
Speaker 1: recommended by a doctor. And so that's tht women versus

441
00:26:38,760 --> 00:26:42,119
Speaker 1: twenty four percent men. Yeah, and women are also far

442
00:26:42,160 --> 00:26:44,919
Speaker 1: more likely than men to report that a lack of

443
00:26:45,000 --> 00:26:49,600
Speaker 1: willpower has prevented them from changing eating habits um. When

444
00:26:49,640 --> 00:26:51,640
Speaker 1: asked what they needed to change in order for their

445
00:26:51,640 --> 00:26:55,280
Speaker 1: willpower to improve, women were more likely than men to

446
00:26:55,320 --> 00:26:58,760
Speaker 1: say less fatigue and more confidence in their ability to

447
00:26:58,880 --> 00:27:02,879
Speaker 1: improve their willpower. And also six times as many women

448
00:27:03,600 --> 00:27:06,880
Speaker 1: say that having more help with household chores would allow

449
00:27:06,920 --> 00:27:09,639
Speaker 1: them to improve their willpower. And this was something that

450
00:27:09,720 --> 00:27:12,600
Speaker 1: I was thinking about in terms of, you know, what

451
00:27:12,680 --> 00:27:16,199
Speaker 1: it takes to set a resolution and really keep to

452
00:27:16,359 --> 00:27:21,080
Speaker 1: it and make a lifestyle change. And as a single

453
00:27:21,240 --> 00:27:25,080
Speaker 1: woman with no kids, like being as autonomous as I

454
00:27:25,119 --> 00:27:29,280
Speaker 1: will ever be probably in my life, Um, that I

455
00:27:29,600 --> 00:27:31,680
Speaker 1: could see that happening. I could say, oh I could,

456
00:27:31,720 --> 00:27:33,879
Speaker 1: you know, I could, I could do these kinds of things.

457
00:27:34,359 --> 00:27:37,159
Speaker 1: Toss a kid in the mix, I don't know, you know,

458
00:27:37,200 --> 00:27:39,840
Speaker 1: because that's that increases your stress level. That And I'm

459
00:27:39,880 --> 00:27:41,679
Speaker 1: not blaming kids for things. I'm just saying that I

460
00:27:41,720 --> 00:27:46,480
Speaker 1: can understand how having a partner, having a household to

461
00:27:46,520 --> 00:27:52,720
Speaker 1: take care of, having children, even pets, um my pet free, Uh,

462
00:27:52,840 --> 00:27:56,879
Speaker 1: all of that can impact this brain space that it

463
00:27:56,920 --> 00:28:01,439
Speaker 1: takes to really set yourself up for our success. And

464
00:28:01,480 --> 00:28:04,199
Speaker 1: it also speaks to I mean not to to to

465
00:28:04,320 --> 00:28:07,760
Speaker 1: be uh kind of cliche about it. But it also

466
00:28:07,840 --> 00:28:12,800
Speaker 1: speaks to the importance of you know, establishing healthy lifestyles

467
00:28:13,160 --> 00:28:16,400
Speaker 1: from the get go if possible, and maybe just using

468
00:28:16,440 --> 00:28:19,560
Speaker 1: your child as a bench press. Just bench press your child,

469
00:28:19,600 --> 00:28:21,560
Speaker 1: incorporate if the child is taking up so much of

470
00:28:21,560 --> 00:28:25,119
Speaker 1: your time, incorporate the child into your exercise. Gentlemen, well, no,

471
00:28:25,240 --> 00:28:27,200
Speaker 1: that is one of the bicept girls with the child.

472
00:28:27,240 --> 00:28:31,720
Speaker 1: There you go. If you've got twin babies, obviously autopadded

473
00:28:31,760 --> 00:28:34,320
Speaker 1: surface g I c um no. But one of the

474
00:28:34,359 --> 00:28:36,280
Speaker 1: one of the tips was just play with your kids,

475
00:28:36,320 --> 00:28:40,560
Speaker 1: because that knocks out increased family time and also gives

476
00:28:40,560 --> 00:28:45,640
Speaker 1: you a little bit of exercise. So here we're here

477
00:28:45,640 --> 00:28:49,480
Speaker 1: to help. Yeah, we're doing Yeah, And I do think that.

478
00:28:49,640 --> 00:28:52,800
Speaker 1: Um the fact that there are so many apps out

479
00:28:52,800 --> 00:28:57,120
Speaker 1: there too, especially for people who want to start exercising more,

480
00:28:57,200 --> 00:28:59,920
Speaker 1: that will give you reminders keeping some kind of accountability

481
00:29:00,400 --> 00:29:03,160
Speaker 1: something that's often cited as well as a good thing

482
00:29:03,800 --> 00:29:07,080
Speaker 1: to do. So this this sounds like if I want

483
00:29:07,120 --> 00:29:09,840
Speaker 1: to get back in the resolution game, I should make

484
00:29:09,840 --> 00:29:14,320
Speaker 1: a resolution along the lines of get moving a little

485
00:29:14,320 --> 00:29:18,040
Speaker 1: bit every day. So in going from nothing, going from

486
00:29:18,040 --> 00:29:21,600
Speaker 1: walking from my car to my apartment, take a walk

487
00:29:21,640 --> 00:29:24,600
Speaker 1: at three o'clock when I'm starting to feel tired at work. Yeah,

488
00:29:24,640 --> 00:29:27,200
Speaker 1: it's the whole thing about taking the stairs instead of

489
00:29:27,240 --> 00:29:31,640
Speaker 1: the elevator, one day at a time. Like for for me, uh,

490
00:29:31,680 --> 00:29:35,480
Speaker 1: like I want to save money this year, and instead

491
00:29:35,520 --> 00:29:37,360
Speaker 1: of what I've done in the past of saying by

492
00:29:37,400 --> 00:29:38,560
Speaker 1: the end of this year, I want to have a

493
00:29:38,640 --> 00:29:41,080
Speaker 1: million dollars, now, I'm not gonna happen. There's no way,

494
00:29:41,600 --> 00:29:46,840
Speaker 1: uh actually saying okay each week breaking it down. Well,

495
00:29:46,880 --> 00:29:49,000
Speaker 1: I've also in terms of money, like I've also set

496
00:29:49,040 --> 00:29:50,760
Speaker 1: an amount every month that I'm going to put in

497
00:29:50,800 --> 00:29:53,400
Speaker 1: savings and never touch again because I actually am working

498
00:29:53,480 --> 00:29:56,000
Speaker 1: towards a goal of buying a car, Like I have

499
00:29:56,160 --> 00:29:59,600
Speaker 1: to get rid of my old, dying, noisy car, and

500
00:29:59,680 --> 00:30:01,880
Speaker 1: so I just have to be disciplined about that. But

501
00:30:02,840 --> 00:30:06,520
Speaker 1: I do still let myself go out, Sure, have a drink,

502
00:30:06,760 --> 00:30:09,520
Speaker 1: have a Hamburger, gusie, friends, that kind of thing. I

503
00:30:09,560 --> 00:30:12,720
Speaker 1: don't completely deprive myself of any social interaction that involves

504
00:30:12,800 --> 00:30:15,080
Speaker 1: leaving the house because I would go insane and then

505
00:30:15,080 --> 00:30:17,440
Speaker 1: I would money binge and buy all of the shoes.

506
00:30:18,920 --> 00:30:22,480
Speaker 1: So buy all the shoes now. So New Year's resolutions

507
00:30:22,760 --> 00:30:26,920
Speaker 1: do they work? Oftentimes No, but it's just because, well

508
00:30:26,960 --> 00:30:31,120
Speaker 1: not just because, but I would say largely because we

509
00:30:31,240 --> 00:30:34,719
Speaker 1: go about them the wrong way. Yeah, it's it's almost

510
00:30:34,760 --> 00:30:37,120
Speaker 1: sort of a desperation move, like, oh my god, I

511
00:30:37,200 --> 00:30:40,440
Speaker 1: was not responsible with fill in the blank, and I

512
00:30:40,480 --> 00:30:44,560
Speaker 1: need to suddenly backtrack and reverse however many months of damage.

513
00:30:45,080 --> 00:30:48,080
Speaker 1: Whereas it might seem hard, but in the long run,

514
00:30:48,120 --> 00:30:50,960
Speaker 1: it's easier to make that lifestyle change and be kind

515
00:30:51,160 --> 00:30:58,600
Speaker 1: to yourself. Yeah, that's a good message. Be kind to yourself. Hey,

516
00:30:58,640 --> 00:31:01,640
Speaker 1: that still stands in twenty our team, keep being kind

517
00:31:01,680 --> 00:31:04,960
Speaker 1: to yourself. Yeah, Caroline, I think of all of the resolutions,

518
00:31:04,960 --> 00:31:09,200
Speaker 1: be kind to yourself is one that is doable. Yeah,

519
00:31:09,480 --> 00:31:11,280
Speaker 1: we can. We can do that, right. Sure, we might

520
00:31:11,320 --> 00:31:13,360
Speaker 1: have to work at it. You know. I think it's

521
00:31:13,360 --> 00:31:16,560
Speaker 1: easy to beat ourselves up sometimes, but just as it's

522
00:31:16,560 --> 00:31:19,240
Speaker 1: important to be kind to you a fellow human, be

523
00:31:19,360 --> 00:31:21,240
Speaker 1: nice to yourself too. And you know what, I'm going

524
00:31:21,280 --> 00:31:25,960
Speaker 1: to resolve to have the best podcast ever in two

525
00:31:25,960 --> 00:31:31,040
Speaker 1: thousand and fourteen. Yes, So, if you have any podcast

526
00:31:31,120 --> 00:31:34,080
Speaker 1: suggestions that you would like us to tackle in this

527
00:31:34,200 --> 00:31:38,600
Speaker 1: upcoming year, now is the time to let us know,

528
00:31:38,720 --> 00:31:41,480
Speaker 1: because we have some exciting things right around the corner.

529
00:31:41,520 --> 00:31:44,320
Speaker 1: Not only is it a whole new year of all

530
00:31:44,440 --> 00:31:47,960
Speaker 1: new podcast topics that we want to get your insight on,

531
00:31:48,280 --> 00:31:52,200
Speaker 1: but we have the launch of a very special website

532
00:31:52,840 --> 00:31:57,160
Speaker 1: where all of the podcast goodness will have a home.

533
00:31:57,720 --> 00:32:00,760
Speaker 1: That's right, I'm talking to stuff Mom Never Told You

534
00:32:00,840 --> 00:32:08,080
Speaker 1: website coming out very soon, so stay tuned for that. So, Christen,

535
00:32:08,160 --> 00:32:11,120
Speaker 1: one resolution that I think is pretty safe to make

536
00:32:11,440 --> 00:32:14,720
Speaker 1: is to get myself more educated. And I'm going to

537
00:32:14,840 --> 00:32:16,920
Speaker 1: do that by watching a whole bunch of the awesome

538
00:32:17,280 --> 00:32:21,880
Speaker 1: documentaries that are on Netflix. Netflix streams TV shows and

539
00:32:21,920 --> 00:32:25,000
Speaker 1: movies directly to your home, saving you time, money, and hassle.

540
00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:27,640
Speaker 1: And as a Netflix member, you can instantly watch TV

541
00:32:27,720 --> 00:32:31,360
Speaker 1: episodes and great documentaries streaming directly to your PC, Mac

542
00:32:31,440 --> 00:32:33,560
Speaker 1: or right to your TV with your Xbox three sixty

543
00:32:33,880 --> 00:32:37,280
Speaker 1: p S three or Nintendo we console. And for stuff

544
00:32:37,320 --> 00:32:40,760
Speaker 1: Mom Never told You listeners, you can try out Netflix

545
00:32:40,800 --> 00:32:43,880
Speaker 1: for free with a thirty day trial membership by going

546
00:32:43,920 --> 00:32:48,440
Speaker 1: to Netflix dot com splash mom and signing up now

547
00:32:48,680 --> 00:32:53,600
Speaker 1: so that you can check out all of those documentary shows, movies, etcetera,

548
00:32:54,160 --> 00:32:58,600
Speaker 1: all at Netflix dot com slash mom for that three

549
00:32:59,080 --> 00:33:03,160
Speaker 1: thirty day eight trial membership, So don't delay, make your

550
00:33:03,360 --> 00:33:08,400
Speaker 1: Netflix resolution today and don't forget also to send us

551
00:33:08,600 --> 00:33:14,040
Speaker 1: your podcast episode suggestions for two thousand fourteen. Happy New Year, everybody,

552
00:33:14,480 --> 00:33:18,360
Speaker 1: Let's really kick it off with some awesome episodes requested

553
00:33:18,680 --> 00:33:22,240
Speaker 1: by you. You can email them to us at mom

554
00:33:22,360 --> 00:33:25,280
Speaker 1: Stuff at Discovery dot com. You can tweet us at

555
00:33:25,320 --> 00:33:28,400
Speaker 1: mom Stuff Podcast, you can message us on Facebook, and

556
00:33:28,400 --> 00:33:30,360
Speaker 1: while you're at it, you can follow us on Tumbler

557
00:33:30,440 --> 00:33:33,040
Speaker 1: at stuff Mom Never Told You dot tumbler dot com.

558
00:33:33,080 --> 00:33:36,720
Speaker 1: You can check out our New Year's photos on Instagram

559
00:33:36,720 --> 00:33:39,440
Speaker 1: at stuff Mom Never Told You, and you can also

560
00:33:39,560 --> 00:33:42,480
Speaker 1: check out our vast library of stuff I've Never Told

561
00:33:42,520 --> 00:33:46,600
Speaker 1: You videos, all on YouTube dot com, slash stuff Mom

562
00:33:46,640 --> 00:33:54,000
Speaker 1: Never Told You, and don't forget to subscribe for more

563
00:33:54,040 --> 00:33:56,320
Speaker 1: on this and thousands of other topics. Is it how

564
00:33:56,360 --> 00:34:01,840
Speaker 1: stuff Works dot com. Three