WEBVTT - Brian Austin Green Joins As Host!

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<v Speaker 1>Hey, I Do Part two.

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<v Speaker 2>It's one of your celebrity mentors, Kelly Ben Simone, and

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<v Speaker 2>I'm back with your favorite real life a single gal Helluise,

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<v Speaker 2>Hey Louise.

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<v Speaker 3>Hello Kelly. How are you happy New Year?

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<v Speaker 1>Happy to you.

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<v Speaker 2>One of the biggest things you listeners ask on the

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<v Speaker 2>pod is from men's perspectives on things like dating, sex, divorce,

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<v Speaker 2>and so today we are so excited because we have

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<v Speaker 2>someone joining us on the pod will be coming to

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<v Speaker 2>the I Do Part two crew like us. He's been

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<v Speaker 2>divorced and he's found love in his chapter two from

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<v Speaker 2>Beverly Hills nine oh two one oh, it's Brian Austin Green.

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<v Speaker 3>I mean, on that note, I cannot believe that he

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<v Speaker 3>is joining us. I mean, I remember being in college

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<v Speaker 3>in the nineties with our producer Amy, sitting in the

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<v Speaker 3>den of the Kappa House, all of us jumbled together,

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<v Speaker 3>stuffing yogurt park down our throats, watching him on the

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<v Speaker 3>TV show. So oh, very exciting to have him on.

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<v Speaker 1>I know me too, I'm super excited.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, he's so cool, he's so attractive, and such

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<v Speaker 2>a babe. He's such a babe, I mean, the babe

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<v Speaker 2>of all babes. But also he has a crazy track

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<v Speaker 2>record of.

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<v Speaker 1>Dating hot girl. Really he's got very good taste. Oh

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<v Speaker 1>my god, very good taste.

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<v Speaker 3>But by the way, as you were talking about that intro,

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<v Speaker 3>are all of us? Does everybody get divorced? I mean,

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<v Speaker 3>it's like yet another one.

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<v Speaker 1>I know, another one. Mike's the dust.

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<v Speaker 3>It's ever And then, Kelly, I have to ask you,

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<v Speaker 3>because the last time we spoke, we're in love. How

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<v Speaker 3>are they things? Is it still amazing?

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<v Speaker 4>No?

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<v Speaker 1>We broke up in December, and it makes.

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<v Speaker 3>Me really sad because I have to hope for all

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<v Speaker 3>of us. I'm sorry.

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<v Speaker 2>I appreciate that hope for everyone too. I mean, he

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<v Speaker 2>was he's such a great guy. Just that you know,

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<v Speaker 2>our lives are just they just don't mix. And I'm

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<v Speaker 2>on a new show and just you know, it's complicated

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<v Speaker 2>when you're someone that's in the entertainment industry, it's just complicated.

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<v Speaker 1>It's like very difficult.

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<v Speaker 3>And also, as we've kind of lived our lives a

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<v Speaker 3>certain way for so long, it kind of has to

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<v Speaker 3>perfectly align or close enough where we can mesh it.

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<v Speaker 3>Otherwise it's just too hard. I run into that a

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<v Speaker 3>lot too.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, I think that's like one. The one thing

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<v Speaker 1>that I find.

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<v Speaker 2>That's difficult is that like I have, you know, friends

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<v Speaker 2>like you know, just like you and Amy. Like I

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<v Speaker 2>have friends from college. I have friends from you know,

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<v Speaker 2>from modeling. I have friends from work life, I have

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<v Speaker 2>friends from entertainment. I have just friends from all over

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<v Speaker 2>the place. And it can be intimidating. It could be intimidating.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't see it, like I'm like, hey, guys, how

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<v Speaker 1>are you?

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<v Speaker 2>And then I go home and I eat Chinese food,

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<v Speaker 2>Like I could I don't even I couldn't even think

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<v Speaker 2>twice about it. But I think it can be intimidating.

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<v Speaker 2>And I think that too. It's that, you know, sometimes

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<v Speaker 2>the entertainment business is the land of smoke and mirrors,

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<v Speaker 2>and it's also that's also intimidating too. I mean we've

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<v Speaker 2>seen that a lot, like on Housewives, where people you

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<v Speaker 2>know appear to be something that they're not, and it's

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<v Speaker 2>just it's a lot. So you know, I'm I just

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<v Speaker 2>I just keep my steady path. I'm like, I know

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<v Speaker 2>my forever person is there.

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<v Speaker 3>You're so authentic. But I think it's even not just entertainment.

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<v Speaker 3>I think like we both have very big lives. Right,

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<v Speaker 3>and there's a lot in it and a lot of

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<v Speaker 3>people in it, and I think, to your point, A,

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<v Speaker 3>it can be intimidating, but be a lot of these

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<v Speaker 3>men need this like twenty four to seven kind of coddling,

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<v Speaker 3>an attention, and I find that that's hard. And when

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<v Speaker 3>I began to when I begin to feel that kind

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<v Speaker 3>of pressure or neediness, it makes me go the opposite direction.

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<v Speaker 3>It almost has the opposite effect of what they're saying

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<v Speaker 3>to me, is it gives me kind of that ick,

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<v Speaker 3>And so I get it. It makes a lot of sense.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, actually, you know, it's interesting because I'm actually

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<v Speaker 2>the opposite. So with every single man that I've ever dated,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm very like hand in the hands on a punt intent,

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<v Speaker 2>very hands on.

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<v Speaker 1>No, I'm very like.

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<v Speaker 2>In their lives, very you know, I'm very like nurturing,

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<v Speaker 2>very interested in what they're doing and how they're doing things.

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<v Speaker 2>So I don't really have that kind of ick with men.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, I love, you know, I don't get pick

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<v Speaker 2>with men.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't like when early on they're demanding too much

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<v Speaker 3>of me. As I'm learning how to add another element

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<v Speaker 3>to my life that's going to be as important, So

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<v Speaker 3>it takes me a minute to work.

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<v Speaker 4>All that in.

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<v Speaker 3>So it's not that I'm not you know, hands on

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<v Speaker 3>and all of that stuff. It's more about the recalibration

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<v Speaker 3>takes a second, and I find that the speed at

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<v Speaker 3>which they operate is sometimes faster than at the pace

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<v Speaker 3>I'm going.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, that's honest. I actually I'm the opposite.

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<v Speaker 3>It's maybe that's why you and I are both single.

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<v Speaker 3>Maybe there's a happy medium between us. Kelly, Yes, well, but.

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<v Speaker 2>You've always given me such good advice, and you know,

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<v Speaker 2>it's interesting because like, I'm just very I think one

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<v Speaker 2>of the things that I've just realized from this breakup

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<v Speaker 2>is that, you know, I have a twin brother, and

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<v Speaker 2>so I'm so used to being around male energy and

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<v Speaker 2>so everything that most women don't like, I'm just very,

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<v Speaker 2>very used to. And so I think for a lot

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<v Speaker 2>of men, my familiarity makes them a little almost almost

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<v Speaker 2>like nervous.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know, I really, I really don't know. I

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<v Speaker 1>don't know. I'm just like open to I'm just really excited.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm really I'm so excited about everything that's happening in

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<v Speaker 2>my life, and I just feel so unbelievably grateful. I

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<v Speaker 2>just I'm just like, I mean, you know, I wish

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<v Speaker 2>that he could go through this part of my life

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<v Speaker 2>with me, Like, I mean, he would be a perfect partner.

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<v Speaker 2>Unfortunately we're not. But I'm just very excited about filming

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<v Speaker 2>and going on the show. And you know, I just

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<v Speaker 2>sold the apartment that I'm living in, so I'm moving

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<v Speaker 2>to Florida, literally packing up everything as we speak, and

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<v Speaker 2>I'm moving to Florida and I'm just going to start

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<v Speaker 2>completely fresh for the first time.

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<v Speaker 3>My dad just moved there and I want to go.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm going to be in Palm Beach for two months.

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<v Speaker 1>Come and visit me.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm going to be there for two months filming, and

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<v Speaker 2>I'm just very excited about it. I just I've never

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<v Speaker 2>had this freedom in my life before, and I'm just

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<v Speaker 2>feeling very empowered and also super nervous.

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<v Speaker 3>I can see it in your smile. And I'm going

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<v Speaker 3>to just make two comments right now. Okay, I see

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<v Speaker 3>you in a while. Haircut ever, Okay that you have

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<v Speaker 3>this is like this like dirty hot, sexy kitty thing.

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<v Speaker 1>It's so hot, and then your.

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<v Speaker 3>Arms are like totally ripped. Did you change the workout?

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<v Speaker 3>I mean it's like, yes.

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<v Speaker 1>I've been working out, thank you for very much.

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<v Speaker 2>It's like one shild I've been working with this new

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<v Speaker 2>trainer and yeah, we've been doing a lot.

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<v Speaker 3>It's yeah, like what is the change? Because I can,

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<v Speaker 3>I actually can totally see it.

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<v Speaker 1>Really, Yeah, I love you like ripped. Oh great, I

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<v Speaker 1>love that. Thank you, thank you for that.

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<v Speaker 3>Well, at our age, we should only be doing heavyweight chraining.

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<v Speaker 2>I've been working out a lot. I've just been trying

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<v Speaker 2>to do things that, you know, make me better. And

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<v Speaker 2>today I was at food bank, which I love to do,

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<v Speaker 2>and I just I'm just really, I'm just I.

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<v Speaker 1>Know this sounds really crazy because people are like, shouldn't

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<v Speaker 1>you be upset?

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<v Speaker 2>Like, I mean, I still care a lot about him,

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<v Speaker 2>but I'm really excited about what my future holds.

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<v Speaker 3>Did your and again, you don't have to answer any

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<v Speaker 3>of these questions because you seemed really I mean last

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<v Speaker 3>time we did this, you were actually I think, not

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<v Speaker 3>at your own house. Did did your kids? Did your

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<v Speaker 3>daughters meet him?

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, my daughters met him. I met his kids.

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<v Speaker 3>Uh.

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<v Speaker 1>It was a lot for me. It was a lot.

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<v Speaker 1>It was very fast, it was a lot. It was

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<v Speaker 1>it was a lot. It was a lot of a

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<v Speaker 1>very short period of time.

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<v Speaker 2>And then I had I had a health issue and

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<v Speaker 2>it was just a lot, and it was the holidays.

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<v Speaker 1>It was just like it's just a big explosion.

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<v Speaker 2>And I'm just a very like easy you know, just

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<v Speaker 2>do the work and get everything done and go and

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<v Speaker 2>have my fun and do whatever I'm doing.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm just a very easy going person. But when shit.

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<v Speaker 2>Hits the fan and I'm like, okay, where's it, where's

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<v Speaker 2>my support group?

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<v Speaker 4>Right?

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<v Speaker 1>Like loving life?

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<v Speaker 3>And I was like, right right, sounds like you've had

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<v Speaker 3>a lot of changes, but you look refreshed and ready

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<v Speaker 3>to ready to hit the ground running. So I'm happy

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<v Speaker 3>for you have I am.

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<v Speaker 1>I just am.

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<v Speaker 4>I don't know.

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<v Speaker 1>I just feel really good about where I'm going and I.

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<v Speaker 2>Just feel I'm actually, for the first I'm not intimidated

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<v Speaker 2>to I was. I've been very like nervous to meet,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, to go and day and meet people because.

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<v Speaker 1>I've just been through so much. I've just had so

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<v Speaker 1>many like it's like whiplashes. I'm well, here goes one,

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<v Speaker 1>there's another.

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<v Speaker 3>It's like, just how long were you in that relationship?

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<v Speaker 3>Six months?

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<v Speaker 1>Six months?

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<v Speaker 3>Okay? And have you dated since? Can I not ask

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<v Speaker 3>that question on.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I know, I've gone a couple of days.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh, we got a break. Our friend Brian's arrived. Let's oh,

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<v Speaker 3>let's bring the hot guy.

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<v Speaker 1>Get to Brian.

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<v Speaker 3>Hi, Brian, Hi, Brian.

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<v Speaker 4>Hello, how are you fantastic?

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<v Speaker 3>I'm Louise. We've never met before, although I did watch

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<v Speaker 3>you a lot of times in the story House in

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<v Speaker 3>the nineties, and you're still a total babe. So meet you.

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<v Speaker 4>Nice to meet you. Also now I'm all self conscious

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<v Speaker 4>and insecure.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh again, we're.

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<v Speaker 2>First of all, congratulations and welcome to the pod. We're

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<v Speaker 2>so happy to have you here. You're and super excited

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<v Speaker 2>to hear your pov on like what it's like in

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<v Speaker 2>that second chapter.

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<v Speaker 4>Oh my god, see you say that now, until all

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<v Speaker 4>of a sudden, it's people are asking me questions and

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<v Speaker 4>then you guys are like, why is he on this?

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<v Speaker 3>No, we need this information. This is helpful for all

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<v Speaker 3>of us and the listeners.

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<v Speaker 1>All right, Louise and I have a like a serious

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<v Speaker 1>list of questions, so I know that you're gonna be honest,

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<v Speaker 1>and I just I'm really interested to hear what you

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<v Speaker 1>have to say. Okay, we're gonna get dive.

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<v Speaker 4>In really deep yeah, let's do it. Let's go.

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<v Speaker 1>Are you excited.

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<v Speaker 4>I am excited. Yeah, cool, you're gonna love it. I

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<v Speaker 4>mean I always, honestly, like I am, I'm pretty much

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<v Speaker 4>an open book, like when people are wondering things, asking

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<v Speaker 4>my advice for things, like, I'm pretty open and honest

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<v Speaker 4>about it. So I I'm an actor, there's there's a

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<v Speaker 4>bit of narcissist. I think in every actor.

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<v Speaker 3>We all like to talk.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, we all love to talk, especially about ourselves and

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<v Speaker 4>our opinions.

0:11:03.520 --> 0:11:06.760
<v Speaker 2>So yeah, well I'm not an actor. I'm a reality star,

0:11:07.000 --> 0:11:08.400
<v Speaker 2>so I do like to talk.

0:11:08.600 --> 0:11:11.240
<v Speaker 4>Well yeah, so then that makes you an actress if

0:11:11.280 --> 0:11:13.360
<v Speaker 4>you're a reality star, I know how that works.

0:11:15.240 --> 0:11:19.839
<v Speaker 3>So so, Brian, you know you're already have found love

0:11:20.000 --> 0:11:25.000
<v Speaker 3>in chapter two, but in the interim of where you

0:11:25.280 --> 0:11:30.480
<v Speaker 3>had gotten divorced and kind of started that whole process again. Yeah,

0:11:30.600 --> 0:11:33.360
<v Speaker 3>kind of What was your takeaway being out there again

0:11:33.760 --> 0:11:38.040
<v Speaker 3>and you know you obviously found love quickly. Maybe it's

0:11:38.040 --> 0:11:39.880
<v Speaker 3>easier for a guy, Kelly, I don't know.

0:11:40.120 --> 0:11:44.360
<v Speaker 4>It wasn't. It wasn't too quickly. So honestly, I hated

0:11:45.000 --> 0:11:47.920
<v Speaker 4>being single and being out there. I absolutely hated it.

0:11:47.960 --> 0:11:51.480
<v Speaker 4>Like I am not I'm not someone that likes to

0:11:51.520 --> 0:11:54.800
<v Speaker 4>go out and go on dates and get to know

0:11:54.920 --> 0:12:00.160
<v Speaker 4>people and go through that because I think there's I

0:12:00.200 --> 0:12:02.520
<v Speaker 4>think there's a lot of pressure that comes with that,

0:12:02.720 --> 0:12:05.880
<v Speaker 4>and people are sort of on their best behavior, so

0:12:05.920 --> 0:12:09.360
<v Speaker 4>you don't really get a sense of who you are

0:12:09.480 --> 0:12:14.120
<v Speaker 4>sitting with. Necessarily, you get the person that they think

0:12:14.400 --> 0:12:15.200
<v Speaker 4>you want to meet.

0:12:15.280 --> 0:12:16.920
<v Speaker 3>They're acting. It's like an audition.

0:12:17.360 --> 0:12:23.319
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, And I think I honestly believe that that is

0:12:23.520 --> 0:12:28.360
<v Speaker 4>what the honeymoon phase is of a relationship. That people

0:12:28.440 --> 0:12:30.320
<v Speaker 4>kind of jump in and they've got this mask on

0:12:30.400 --> 0:12:33.120
<v Speaker 4>and they're being who they think the other person wants

0:12:33.200 --> 0:12:35.560
<v Speaker 4>to be with, and they're trying to sort of check

0:12:35.600 --> 0:12:38.520
<v Speaker 4>all the boxes. But that can only last for so.

0:12:38.559 --> 0:12:39.640
<v Speaker 1>Long, right.

0:12:39.720 --> 0:12:41.840
<v Speaker 3>I was on a date last week and I was

0:12:42.600 --> 0:12:46.040
<v Speaker 3>pretty clear about who I was, and I was like,

0:12:46.400 --> 0:12:48.679
<v Speaker 3>you know, this is me. I'm fifty three years old,

0:12:48.720 --> 0:12:50.320
<v Speaker 3>and I'm not going to try to pretend to be

0:12:50.400 --> 0:12:52.720
<v Speaker 3>something that i'm not. And if I'm sitting here and

0:12:52.760 --> 0:12:55.680
<v Speaker 3>telling you I'm a gourmet chef, which I'm not, and

0:12:55.679 --> 0:12:58.360
<v Speaker 3>then all of a sudden, you know, date number four,

0:12:58.600 --> 0:13:00.640
<v Speaker 3>You're like, come over and let's cook, and all of

0:13:00.679 --> 0:13:03.440
<v Speaker 3>a sudden, I'm like helpless in the kitchen. Then it

0:13:03.480 --> 0:13:06.000
<v Speaker 3>was a misrepresentation number one. It was me not being

0:13:06.040 --> 0:13:10.000
<v Speaker 3>authentic to myself and maybe that was something that was

0:13:10.040 --> 0:13:12.160
<v Speaker 3>important to you. So then right out of the gate,

0:13:12.360 --> 0:13:15.360
<v Speaker 3>it's been, you know, kind of a bait and switch, Right,

0:13:15.520 --> 0:13:17.600
<v Speaker 3>So I think your point is really important.

0:13:18.200 --> 0:13:22.120
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, I think I mean that it only you can

0:13:22.160 --> 0:13:24.640
<v Speaker 4>only keep up that ruse for so long, and then

0:13:24.679 --> 0:13:30.839
<v Speaker 4>eventually you are tired, you're stressed, You're having either some

0:13:30.960 --> 0:13:35.160
<v Speaker 4>financial stuff or some family stuff. Who knows the list

0:13:35.240 --> 0:13:39.720
<v Speaker 4>of things. But then all of a sudden, the cracks

0:13:39.760 --> 0:13:44.480
<v Speaker 4>in that mask start showing, and people start arguing about

0:13:44.520 --> 0:13:46.920
<v Speaker 4>it and feeling like, oh my god, this is not

0:13:47.040 --> 0:13:49.480
<v Speaker 4>the person that I've known for the past six months

0:13:50.080 --> 0:13:53.199
<v Speaker 4>of this relationship, or week of this relationship, or a

0:13:53.280 --> 0:13:57.000
<v Speaker 4>year and a half. And so, you know, I think

0:13:57.000 --> 0:14:01.440
<v Speaker 4>that relationships tend to start on they start off on

0:14:01.520 --> 0:14:06.840
<v Speaker 4>the wrong foot. I was about a year and a

0:14:06.840 --> 0:14:11.600
<v Speaker 4>half out of my relationship, my marriage that I was

0:14:11.640 --> 0:14:17.360
<v Speaker 4>in and really honestly working on myself. I gotten to

0:14:17.440 --> 0:14:19.240
<v Speaker 4>a point in life where I was like, I don't

0:14:19.240 --> 0:14:23.960
<v Speaker 4>want to repeat the same things that I've done before.

0:14:25.320 --> 0:14:28.160
<v Speaker 4>I just got out of a fifteen year relationship. I

0:14:28.160 --> 0:14:32.040
<v Speaker 4>have three kids. This situation is going to be incredibly

0:14:32.080 --> 0:14:34.920
<v Speaker 4>hard for everyone. I don't want to do this again.

0:14:35.120 --> 0:14:38.840
<v Speaker 4>I want to figure out what role I played in

0:14:39.600 --> 0:14:40.640
<v Speaker 4>things that went wrong.

0:14:42.360 --> 0:14:46.320
<v Speaker 3>I love that so few people do that work and

0:14:46.400 --> 0:14:48.960
<v Speaker 3>take the time to address some of that.

0:14:49.400 --> 0:14:53.200
<v Speaker 4>You can't expect that you're going to find somebody and

0:14:53.320 --> 0:14:58.360
<v Speaker 4>things are going to be different. If you are, you

0:14:58.440 --> 0:15:02.720
<v Speaker 4>were a part of the relationship. You were an equal part,

0:15:02.880 --> 0:15:07.440
<v Speaker 4>So you played a part in what ultimately didn't work.

0:15:08.000 --> 0:15:10.960
<v Speaker 4>And it's not until you recognize at least your half

0:15:11.000 --> 0:15:12.920
<v Speaker 4>of it that you go Okay. I want to go

0:15:13.080 --> 0:15:15.560
<v Speaker 4>into this next situation differently.

0:15:15.840 --> 0:15:18.880
<v Speaker 2>Let's start with some questions, Brian, because we have so many,

0:15:19.080 --> 0:15:22.320
<v Speaker 2>and thank you for being so sure, transparent, open.

0:15:23.040 --> 0:15:27.040
<v Speaker 4>I told you I'm an oversharer. I've been, I've been.

0:15:28.000 --> 0:15:29.080
<v Speaker 4>I've been called that before.

0:15:29.560 --> 0:15:30.960
<v Speaker 1>Keep over sharing. We love it. Okay.

0:15:30.960 --> 0:15:33.720
<v Speaker 2>If a woman has never been married and is over fifty,

0:15:33.800 --> 0:15:36.440
<v Speaker 2>is that a red flag that men that are dating after?

0:15:37.240 --> 0:15:39.120
<v Speaker 2>Is that a red flag to men that are dating

0:15:39.160 --> 0:15:41.200
<v Speaker 2>after after their own divorce?

0:15:41.240 --> 0:15:41.280
<v Speaker 4>Like?

0:15:41.320 --> 0:15:43.160
<v Speaker 1>Would you ever marry? Would you ever go out with someone?

0:15:43.480 --> 0:15:45.600
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, that wouldn't be that wouldn't be a red flag

0:15:45.640 --> 0:15:50.280
<v Speaker 4>for me. I would look at it as this is

0:15:50.360 --> 0:15:54.120
<v Speaker 4>somebody either that has been driven in a bunch of

0:15:54.200 --> 0:15:57.520
<v Speaker 4>other ways in their life and so now they're in

0:15:57.560 --> 0:15:59.800
<v Speaker 4>a place where they feel like they're ready to settle

0:15:59.840 --> 0:16:03.280
<v Speaker 4>down and do that, or this person just doesn't believe

0:16:03.320 --> 0:16:06.240
<v Speaker 4>in it. And you know, marriage is not something that

0:16:07.360 --> 0:16:11.680
<v Speaker 4>everybody believes in and agrees with like it is there.

0:16:11.720 --> 0:16:16.440
<v Speaker 4>There are a lot of old beliefs in it. It's

0:16:16.520 --> 0:16:20.000
<v Speaker 4>kind of an old system the whole you know, a

0:16:20.040 --> 0:16:22.960
<v Speaker 4>wife taking the husband's name and then the there are

0:16:22.960 --> 0:16:27.120
<v Speaker 4>a lot of things that people have an issue with

0:16:27.480 --> 0:16:31.880
<v Speaker 4>now and I understand that and I don't. I think

0:16:31.920 --> 0:16:36.120
<v Speaker 4>it depends on whether you are looking to get married

0:16:36.440 --> 0:16:41.240
<v Speaker 4>or not, and then it's about whether the person that

0:16:41.280 --> 0:16:44.200
<v Speaker 4>you're dating has the same beliefs as you do or not,

0:16:44.400 --> 0:16:50.120
<v Speaker 4>and if you can settle with those or if they're

0:16:50.200 --> 0:16:53.200
<v Speaker 4>just deal breaker things. And it's like, I want to

0:16:53.200 --> 0:16:55.960
<v Speaker 4>be married like this is. This has always been a

0:16:56.040 --> 0:16:59.320
<v Speaker 4>dream for me and for the man, or vice versa,

0:16:59.600 --> 0:17:02.800
<v Speaker 4>that never was a dream, At which point you have

0:17:02.880 --> 0:17:08.000
<v Speaker 4>to decide how important is the marriage aspect of it

0:17:08.640 --> 0:17:10.960
<v Speaker 4>compared to dating this person that I really like.

0:17:11.720 --> 0:17:14.960
<v Speaker 3>Or the once held beliefs could have changed and maybe

0:17:15.200 --> 0:17:17.520
<v Speaker 3>at one point didn't want to get married, and all

0:17:17.520 --> 0:17:19.359
<v Speaker 3>of a sudden, this is the person, and you're like,

0:17:19.440 --> 0:17:20.960
<v Speaker 3>oh my god, I want to marry this person.

0:17:21.000 --> 0:17:25.119
<v Speaker 4>You never know. I mean, it's you go into I

0:17:25.200 --> 0:17:28.719
<v Speaker 4>think it's a mistake to go into anything thinking that

0:17:29.000 --> 0:17:32.480
<v Speaker 4>you know what the final answer is going to be.

0:17:32.800 --> 0:17:37.679
<v Speaker 4>I'm open to anything. I never say never because you do.

0:17:37.760 --> 0:17:39.440
<v Speaker 4>And then all of a sudden you're in something. You go,

0:17:39.560 --> 0:17:42.280
<v Speaker 4>oh my god, this is I never in a million

0:17:42.359 --> 0:17:45.760
<v Speaker 4>years thought that I would be doing this, yet here

0:17:45.800 --> 0:17:46.120
<v Speaker 4>I am.

0:17:46.560 --> 0:17:48.800
<v Speaker 1>You know what's interesting is when you were talking about

0:17:48.840 --> 0:17:52.439
<v Speaker 1>the name change, I was supposed to get married to

0:17:52.560 --> 0:17:56.000
<v Speaker 1>my exidiance in four days before I called off the wedding.

0:17:56.040 --> 0:17:57.240
<v Speaker 1>So that's why I'm on the pod.

0:17:58.440 --> 0:18:02.679
<v Speaker 2>And I remember being I remember, you know, when we

0:18:02.680 --> 0:18:06.280
<v Speaker 2>were doing the paperwork and we were writing my name

0:18:07.000 --> 0:18:07.720
<v Speaker 2>but it wasn't my.

0:18:07.800 --> 0:18:12.040
<v Speaker 1>Name, it was his name. Yeah, And I just I

0:18:12.119 --> 0:18:12.800
<v Speaker 1>was like, oh my.

0:18:12.680 --> 0:18:14.600
<v Speaker 2>God, I don't think I can do this. I don't

0:18:14.600 --> 0:18:15.760
<v Speaker 2>know if I can do this. And that was the

0:18:15.760 --> 0:18:18.080
<v Speaker 2>beginning that like, was the thing that triggered me.

0:18:18.760 --> 0:18:20.760
<v Speaker 4>Was that see now I'm going to interview you guys,

0:18:20.800 --> 0:18:25.960
<v Speaker 4>all right, Yeah, was that do you feel like that

0:18:26.280 --> 0:18:30.960
<v Speaker 4>was a real issue or was that sort of the

0:18:31.040 --> 0:18:34.240
<v Speaker 4>straw that broke the camel's back. So it was a

0:18:34.320 --> 0:18:38.240
<v Speaker 4>relationship that you already had all of these questions about,

0:18:38.320 --> 0:18:40.440
<v Speaker 4>and then as soon as you saw that, you want.

0:18:40.359 --> 0:18:43.160
<v Speaker 3>That's what I'm wondering. If it was literally just lit

0:18:43.240 --> 0:18:44.800
<v Speaker 3>the match that burned the house down.

0:18:45.040 --> 0:18:47.840
<v Speaker 4>This is the thing where as I saw my name

0:18:48.359 --> 0:18:51.760
<v Speaker 4>changed that way, like, it really solidified that this is

0:18:51.840 --> 0:18:53.600
<v Speaker 4>not a relationship that I want to be in.

0:18:54.680 --> 0:18:57.239
<v Speaker 2>I mean when I saw that, I was just like,

0:18:57.320 --> 0:18:58.560
<v Speaker 2>I don't know who that person is.

0:18:58.840 --> 0:19:02.280
<v Speaker 4>That's not me for you. Were you having questions before them? Though?

0:19:02.600 --> 0:19:06.560
<v Speaker 2>Yes, yeah, but that really they like to to Louise's point,

0:19:06.800 --> 0:19:09.800
<v Speaker 2>with the match and then later on things you know,

0:19:09.840 --> 0:19:10.440
<v Speaker 2>went downhill.

0:19:10.520 --> 0:19:13.719
<v Speaker 4>But that was I mean, if you're if you're looking,

0:19:13.800 --> 0:19:17.880
<v Speaker 4>if you're already in that mode of questioning and marriage

0:19:17.960 --> 0:19:20.600
<v Speaker 4>is a big big deal. I mean it was to me.

0:19:20.960 --> 0:19:24.000
<v Speaker 4>I to me, it was something that you do one time.

0:19:24.600 --> 0:19:27.560
<v Speaker 2>And Brian, when you're a kid, you sit there in

0:19:27.640 --> 0:19:32.760
<v Speaker 2>math class and you write, you know, like Kelly and

0:19:32.920 --> 0:19:35.760
<v Speaker 2>Brian Green, Kelly greed.

0:19:36.440 --> 0:19:37.919
<v Speaker 3>I know all these things.

0:19:38.440 --> 0:19:39.520
<v Speaker 1>I never wrote that.

0:19:40.880 --> 0:19:43.600
<v Speaker 4>You never wrote that, So marriage has never been a

0:19:43.640 --> 0:19:44.080
<v Speaker 4>thing for you.

0:19:44.560 --> 0:19:46.719
<v Speaker 2>Well, I have been married before, I have two kids,

0:19:47.600 --> 0:19:49.560
<v Speaker 2>But for him, I just didn't write that.

0:19:49.640 --> 0:19:50.680
<v Speaker 1>I mean, there's been other.

0:19:50.600 --> 0:19:52.840
<v Speaker 2>Men that I've that I've dated that I was like,

0:19:53.040 --> 0:19:56.040
<v Speaker 2>that's a cute name, like, but I mean that that

0:19:56.119 --> 0:19:58.800
<v Speaker 2>those relationships and the last either, but I mean it

0:19:58.840 --> 0:19:59.720
<v Speaker 2>has it's interesting.

0:20:10.240 --> 0:20:15.240
<v Speaker 3>So what would be the reason or some of the

0:20:15.760 --> 0:20:19.760
<v Speaker 3>kind of I guess feelings that would make you want

0:20:19.840 --> 0:20:29.040
<v Speaker 3>to pursue somebody more seriously versus more casually or situationship,

0:20:29.720 --> 0:20:33.119
<v Speaker 3>Like what would be the uh as a man like

0:20:33.200 --> 0:20:33.919
<v Speaker 3>for you, Brian?

0:20:34.680 --> 0:20:39.560
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, So for me, I when I got to the

0:20:39.600 --> 0:20:41.920
<v Speaker 4>point when I was single and I really felt like, Okay,

0:20:41.960 --> 0:20:46.120
<v Speaker 4>I'm ready to meet somebody, it was it was very

0:20:46.160 --> 0:20:50.720
<v Speaker 4>obvious to me when I met people whether we were

0:20:50.800 --> 0:20:54.359
<v Speaker 4>truly on the same uh the same path and we

0:20:54.400 --> 0:20:59.480
<v Speaker 4>had the same moral values that we were that we

0:20:59.480 --> 0:21:02.520
<v Speaker 4>were sort of following in life. And then they're they're

0:21:02.600 --> 0:21:04.560
<v Speaker 4>the people where you meet and they're a really good

0:21:04.600 --> 0:21:06.480
<v Speaker 4>time and you go, God, I have a really great

0:21:06.520 --> 0:21:10.280
<v Speaker 4>time when I'm around them. But that's no, that's what

0:21:10.400 --> 0:21:13.320
<v Speaker 4>it is right that it's it's a great time, and

0:21:13.400 --> 0:21:16.400
<v Speaker 4>like sexually it's super fun and we you know, and

0:21:16.400 --> 0:21:20.520
<v Speaker 4>and that all clicks. But as far as really being

0:21:20.600 --> 0:21:25.440
<v Speaker 4>committed to somebody and wanting to be around somebody all

0:21:25.480 --> 0:21:27.960
<v Speaker 4>the time and share my life with someone, it's got

0:21:27.960 --> 0:21:32.600
<v Speaker 4>to be someone that is on the same path in

0:21:32.680 --> 0:21:36.720
<v Speaker 4>life with me at that point. I don't necessarily believe

0:21:36.760 --> 0:21:40.320
<v Speaker 4>that people stay on the same path. I feel that

0:21:40.400 --> 0:21:45.119
<v Speaker 4>people grow apart naturally, and then sometimes people grow in

0:21:45.200 --> 0:21:48.879
<v Speaker 4>the same direction. And I think that's why these relationships

0:21:49.640 --> 0:21:52.400
<v Speaker 4>last an incredibly long time. And you go, oh my god,

0:21:52.440 --> 0:21:54.800
<v Speaker 4>how'd you guys do it? It's like because even though

0:21:54.840 --> 0:21:57.240
<v Speaker 4>we hated each other at different times, we always loved

0:21:57.240 --> 0:21:59.959
<v Speaker 4>each other and we were always moving the same direction.

0:22:00.080 --> 0:22:04.840
<v Speaker 2>And what about a body count? So are you do

0:22:04.880 --> 0:22:07.560
<v Speaker 2>you get offended if you hear that a woman has,

0:22:07.920 --> 0:22:09.800
<v Speaker 2>you know, slept with x amount of men?

0:22:09.920 --> 0:22:11.439
<v Speaker 3>Does she really talk about it?

0:22:11.560 --> 0:22:11.639
<v Speaker 4>Like?

0:22:11.680 --> 0:22:13.480
<v Speaker 3>Who do we ask these questions women?

0:22:14.400 --> 0:22:18.760
<v Speaker 4>It's like coat of armor, I ask, just honestly for

0:22:18.840 --> 0:22:22.439
<v Speaker 4>the simple fact of is someone going to be honest

0:22:22.480 --> 0:22:26.680
<v Speaker 4>with me and be uncomfortable in front of me? Because

0:22:26.800 --> 0:22:29.479
<v Speaker 4>I'm willing to be uncomfortable in front of people, Like

0:22:29.640 --> 0:22:33.760
<v Speaker 4>I'm willing to sort of bleed for people and go, hey,

0:22:33.840 --> 0:22:35.879
<v Speaker 4>are you going to bleed with me? Because that is

0:22:35.920 --> 0:22:40.399
<v Speaker 4>telling of what this relationship is. If you're not, again,

0:22:40.600 --> 0:22:44.480
<v Speaker 4>it's fine, I just need to keep I have to

0:22:44.520 --> 0:22:48.000
<v Speaker 4>be very clear of what it is I am getting

0:22:48.040 --> 0:22:51.280
<v Speaker 4>out of this relationship with someone. The same way with friends,

0:22:51.600 --> 0:22:54.120
<v Speaker 4>you know, like I'm very clear on who my real

0:22:54.320 --> 0:22:56.919
<v Speaker 4>close friends are and then who my acquaintances are that

0:22:57.000 --> 0:23:02.040
<v Speaker 4>are super fun. I just don't mind. Expectations aren't more

0:23:02.080 --> 0:23:05.720
<v Speaker 4>than that. I don't give as much because I don't

0:23:05.720 --> 0:23:08.320
<v Speaker 4>expect as much in return. But then the relationships that

0:23:08.359 --> 0:23:12.560
<v Speaker 4>I have that are really valuable relationships, I give and

0:23:12.640 --> 0:23:15.280
<v Speaker 4>I give and I give because I know they're going

0:23:15.359 --> 0:23:16.000
<v Speaker 4>to be the same way.

0:23:16.160 --> 0:23:17.960
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, And I think as we get older, we really

0:23:18.080 --> 0:23:21.680
<v Speaker 3>learn who's going to be in our table of five?

0:23:22.000 --> 0:23:22.440
<v Speaker 4>For sure?

0:23:22.760 --> 0:23:26.960
<v Speaker 3>What table a five that we're sitting at. And as

0:23:27.000 --> 0:23:29.960
<v Speaker 3>stuff happens in life, good and bad, you learn a

0:23:30.040 --> 0:23:33.960
<v Speaker 3>lot about the people that have been in different chapters.

0:23:34.000 --> 0:23:36.760
<v Speaker 3>And I'm in an interesting time in my life where

0:23:36.760 --> 0:23:40.560
<v Speaker 3>I'm really learning who my friends are and who I'm

0:23:40.600 --> 0:23:44.359
<v Speaker 3>aligning with. And it's just it's just interesting to see

0:23:44.359 --> 0:23:47.040
<v Speaker 3>and watch it. Yeah, it can be painful at times too,

0:23:47.200 --> 0:23:47.879
<v Speaker 3>a lot of change.

0:23:47.920 --> 0:23:53.000
<v Speaker 4>It absolutely can. But that's the pain is that's the growth,

0:23:53.280 --> 0:23:56.520
<v Speaker 4>I mean, that's you. You don't grow from things that work.

0:23:57.359 --> 0:23:59.960
<v Speaker 3>You grow from things don't where you have to have grit.

0:24:00.800 --> 0:24:03.119
<v Speaker 4>You go back to the drawing board on things that

0:24:03.160 --> 0:24:06.479
<v Speaker 4>don't work, and you go, God, why isn't this working? Like,

0:24:06.680 --> 0:24:09.640
<v Speaker 4>I need to approach this in a different way if

0:24:09.680 --> 0:24:12.639
<v Speaker 4>it's working. The old saying is if it ain't broke,

0:24:12.960 --> 0:24:13.560
<v Speaker 4>don't fix it.

0:24:13.600 --> 0:24:14.200
<v Speaker 1>Don't fix it.

0:24:14.520 --> 0:24:17.480
<v Speaker 3>But if you want change, be changed, if you want

0:24:17.520 --> 0:24:19.960
<v Speaker 3>a different result, do something different. Right.

0:24:20.280 --> 0:24:22.920
<v Speaker 1>What about your IX, Brian, what did you have any X?

0:24:23.440 --> 0:24:24.359
<v Speaker 3>That's a great question.

0:24:24.880 --> 0:24:30.120
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, that is a great question. Lying is a big ick. Man.

0:24:29.359 --> 0:24:34.040
<v Speaker 4>If I catch you in some way where you're being dishonored,

0:24:34.080 --> 0:24:39.080
<v Speaker 4>like it's one I have no problem with someone not

0:24:39.200 --> 0:24:42.720
<v Speaker 4>wanting to share everything. And if you're honest with me

0:24:42.800 --> 0:24:45.400
<v Speaker 4>and you say I don't really want I don't really

0:24:45.440 --> 0:24:48.760
<v Speaker 4>want to get into that. Cool if you give me

0:24:48.880 --> 0:24:54.760
<v Speaker 4>some bullsh like side answer and lie to me about

0:24:54.800 --> 0:24:56.720
<v Speaker 4>what it is and then I find out later, oh

0:24:56.760 --> 0:24:59.119
<v Speaker 4>my god, it was a completely different story than what

0:24:59.200 --> 0:25:02.920
<v Speaker 4>it is you told me. Then I start questioning, like, Okay,

0:25:03.119 --> 0:25:05.720
<v Speaker 4>how much have you lied to me about how it's

0:25:06.000 --> 0:25:09.040
<v Speaker 4>very that's but it's very simple to me. That's honestly

0:25:09.119 --> 0:25:11.639
<v Speaker 4>one of the one of the main x for me.

0:25:11.800 --> 0:25:16.240
<v Speaker 4>Like I just I think because I'm honest with people,

0:25:16.560 --> 0:25:21.920
<v Speaker 4>I uh, it's not that I demand honesty. I feel

0:25:21.920 --> 0:25:24.439
<v Speaker 4>like I command it, Like I try and keep those

0:25:24.520 --> 0:25:30.879
<v Speaker 4>relationships clear and clean with people. And I'm open and honest.

0:25:31.119 --> 0:25:34.720
<v Speaker 4>So if you're not, it really says something about you

0:25:34.760 --> 0:25:38.440
<v Speaker 4>because you know I'm being honest. Like you know, I'll

0:25:38.480 --> 0:25:42.200
<v Speaker 4>get down in the dirt with with stuff and all,

0:25:42.240 --> 0:25:47.800
<v Speaker 4>you know, I'll talk about I'll talk about sexual counts

0:25:47.880 --> 0:25:50.760
<v Speaker 4>and all all the stuff, you know, all the stuff

0:25:50.800 --> 0:25:52.840
<v Speaker 4>that could make somebody look at me and go mmmm,

0:25:53.359 --> 0:25:55.359
<v Speaker 4>that's a little too much for me, But I'm willing

0:25:55.440 --> 0:25:56.399
<v Speaker 4>to get into it.

0:25:56.600 --> 0:25:58.199
<v Speaker 2>I just just listen to what you were saying, and

0:25:58.240 --> 0:26:00.399
<v Speaker 2>it's and I and you know, we're asked aking these

0:26:00.480 --> 0:26:02.520
<v Speaker 2>questions that are just like Okay, you know, do you

0:26:02.640 --> 0:26:02.840
<v Speaker 2>like this?

0:26:03.000 --> 0:26:03.680
<v Speaker 1>Do you don't like this?

0:26:04.119 --> 0:26:06.600
<v Speaker 2>But what you're saying is that you know there could

0:26:06.640 --> 0:26:10.320
<v Speaker 2>be like let's say, girls been with fifty guys, you're saying,

0:26:10.760 --> 0:26:12.800
<v Speaker 2>you know, as long as you're honest with me and

0:26:12.840 --> 0:26:15.520
<v Speaker 2>we're having these conversations and we're talking about these things

0:26:15.560 --> 0:26:16.160
<v Speaker 2>in a way.

0:26:17.040 --> 0:26:20.720
<v Speaker 1>I mean, fifty is a lot, but we're doing I

0:26:20.720 --> 0:26:21.760
<v Speaker 1>don't know what I'm working for.

0:26:22.359 --> 0:26:26.000
<v Speaker 4>It depends though, again on Okay, let's say fifty was

0:26:26.040 --> 0:26:30.200
<v Speaker 4>your number, but you were like, I have always been

0:26:30.240 --> 0:26:32.480
<v Speaker 4>in a place where I haven't really wanted to be

0:26:32.560 --> 0:26:35.840
<v Speaker 4>in a relationship. I haven't felt like I've been very

0:26:35.920 --> 0:26:40.359
<v Speaker 4>career driven. I've been, and so fifty is your count,

0:26:40.440 --> 0:26:44.920
<v Speaker 4>but it's it's an honest fifty. It's not like you

0:26:45.000 --> 0:26:47.760
<v Speaker 4>have been through fifty relationships and you're sort of in

0:26:47.800 --> 0:26:50.240
<v Speaker 4>them and you throw them away and you so you

0:26:50.280 --> 0:26:52.760
<v Speaker 4>seem very wishy washy, and it's like, oh my god,

0:26:52.840 --> 0:26:56.760
<v Speaker 4>do you ever commit to things? If you're if you

0:26:56.920 --> 0:27:00.000
<v Speaker 4>tell me from the beginning, I've been noncommittal up until

0:27:00.040 --> 0:27:03.000
<v Speaker 4>all the point where I decided I want to be committal,

0:27:03.840 --> 0:27:06.879
<v Speaker 4>that's a it's a different it's a different thing, you know.

0:27:06.960 --> 0:27:10.080
<v Speaker 4>It's like, uh, it's like somebody that has an incredible

0:27:10.080 --> 0:27:12.680
<v Speaker 4>shoe collection, but they've gone through a ton of shoes

0:27:13.200 --> 0:27:19.359
<v Speaker 4>to have that collection. And it's I don't. I don't

0:27:19.440 --> 0:27:24.359
<v Speaker 4>fault somebody for that necessarily that's just me. But I don't.

0:27:24.400 --> 0:27:26.760
<v Speaker 4>I don't fault somebody, no judgment.

0:27:26.800 --> 0:27:29.280
<v Speaker 3>It's part of their life, you know, kind of experiences.

0:27:29.640 --> 0:27:32.720
<v Speaker 3>But on the uh, you know, kind of a note

0:27:32.920 --> 0:27:39.879
<v Speaker 3>of I guess relationships not relationship. When a guy says

0:27:39.960 --> 0:27:44.160
<v Speaker 3>they're not ready for a relationship, what does that really mean?

0:27:44.880 --> 0:27:46.879
<v Speaker 4>I could mean all sorts of things.

0:27:47.160 --> 0:27:48.359
<v Speaker 3>Like just not with you.

0:27:49.320 --> 0:27:53.879
<v Speaker 4>It could be it could mean just like yeah, it

0:27:53.920 --> 0:27:57.760
<v Speaker 4>could yes. But but again, then we start crossing into

0:27:57.760 --> 0:28:01.560
<v Speaker 4>that honesty thing, and I think you start seeing flags

0:28:01.640 --> 0:28:06.920
<v Speaker 4>before that question is asked. I think if you're asking

0:28:06.960 --> 0:28:11.160
<v Speaker 4>that question to get a gauge on the person you're with,

0:28:11.560 --> 0:28:17.320
<v Speaker 4>then it's already been a very weird situation. Like I

0:28:17.320 --> 0:28:19.800
<v Speaker 4>don't think you're asking that question because you're in a

0:28:19.840 --> 0:28:25.280
<v Speaker 4>great relationship with somebody or it's clear you only fish.

0:28:25.480 --> 0:28:29.120
<v Speaker 4>I think if you're feeling like, God, I need some

0:28:29.160 --> 0:28:31.240
<v Speaker 4>sort of like validation in this.

0:28:32.080 --> 0:28:35.280
<v Speaker 3>Do you think you have to have a do you

0:28:35.359 --> 0:28:40.320
<v Speaker 3>feel like organically it just kind of morphs into oh,

0:28:40.360 --> 0:28:42.680
<v Speaker 3>it's just me and you and you don't even really

0:28:42.680 --> 0:28:46.280
<v Speaker 3>have to have the conversation yes, or I agree, like

0:28:46.320 --> 0:28:48.560
<v Speaker 3>I feel like authentically it's kind of I don't want

0:28:48.560 --> 0:28:49.880
<v Speaker 3>to see anyone else. We don't even have to have

0:28:49.920 --> 0:28:53.440
<v Speaker 3>the conversation. It just it happens. So that question I

0:28:53.480 --> 0:28:56.560
<v Speaker 3>asked you is almost a version of what you're saying,

0:28:57.160 --> 0:29:00.920
<v Speaker 3>which is there's some sort of a kind of subliminal

0:29:01.040 --> 0:29:04.240
<v Speaker 3>message or something, which is you're not all in, one

0:29:04.280 --> 0:29:05.440
<v Speaker 3>foot in, one foot.

0:29:05.200 --> 0:29:07.360
<v Speaker 4>Out, You're not all in, and the person that you're

0:29:07.400 --> 0:29:11.560
<v Speaker 4>with can feel that, yes, and they feel insecure, which

0:29:11.600 --> 0:29:13.960
<v Speaker 4>I think then is why they start getting into the

0:29:14.080 --> 0:29:18.440
<v Speaker 4>questions of, hey, so you know, is this something that

0:29:18.480 --> 0:29:21.320
<v Speaker 4>you want to continue to pursue, And then it's like, yeah,

0:29:21.360 --> 0:29:24.160
<v Speaker 4>I'm not really looking for a you know, steady thing,

0:29:24.320 --> 0:29:29.600
<v Speaker 4>and it's and unfortunately you are digging into something that

0:29:29.720 --> 0:29:31.560
<v Speaker 4>you already had a gut feeling.

0:29:31.920 --> 0:29:34.200
<v Speaker 3>Isn't careful what you ask for, isn't there?

0:29:34.520 --> 0:29:38.560
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and your intuition, you always intuition always knows.

0:29:38.720 --> 0:29:41.920
<v Speaker 4>Don't put like, you know, don't put specific rules on

0:29:41.960 --> 0:29:44.040
<v Speaker 4>something if you're going to end up getting a rule

0:29:44.680 --> 0:29:47.640
<v Speaker 4>and a feedback that you don't want to hear. Yep,

0:29:48.040 --> 0:29:50.920
<v Speaker 4>like and you shouldn't have to, like I when I'm

0:29:50.920 --> 0:29:53.160
<v Speaker 4>in a great relationship like the one I'm in now.

0:29:54.000 --> 0:29:57.280
<v Speaker 4>We literally it was like, oh, there's no there's no

0:29:57.400 --> 0:30:00.760
<v Speaker 4>need to discuss this any further, Like we're we love

0:30:00.800 --> 0:30:04.400
<v Speaker 4>being in this. This is fantastic. Let's see how long

0:30:04.520 --> 0:30:07.480
<v Speaker 4>this goes and where it goes. And I love sharing

0:30:07.520 --> 0:30:08.280
<v Speaker 4>this with you.

0:30:08.560 --> 0:30:11.320
<v Speaker 1>I love this. This is a really good follow up question.

0:30:11.400 --> 0:30:14.600
<v Speaker 2>What's the one thing you see or hear women tolerating

0:30:14.640 --> 0:30:17.600
<v Speaker 2>today when it comes to dating and do you think

0:30:17.640 --> 0:30:19.400
<v Speaker 2>that they need to stop accepting?

0:30:20.600 --> 0:30:21.440
<v Speaker 1>I think women do.

0:30:22.200 --> 0:30:27.320
<v Speaker 4>Tie a lot. Yeah, I think I think women need

0:30:27.440 --> 0:30:37.600
<v Speaker 4>to stop giving up their power in relationships, like I

0:30:37.680 --> 0:30:43.120
<v Speaker 4>think sometimes and not just women, honestly people. I think

0:30:43.280 --> 0:30:47.120
<v Speaker 4>people they're lonely and they and they get to a

0:30:47.120 --> 0:30:50.040
<v Speaker 4>point where they're willing to settle good.

0:30:50.000 --> 0:30:51.440
<v Speaker 3>Enough, they'll take good enough.

0:30:51.760 --> 0:30:55.280
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, and you can't. If you want something great, you

0:30:55.320 --> 0:30:59.480
<v Speaker 4>can't settle. And it's hard because at certain points you

0:30:59.520 --> 0:31:01.680
<v Speaker 4>get really only and you go, God, I really wish

0:31:01.760 --> 0:31:05.320
<v Speaker 4>I had this, But I genuinely feel like you have

0:31:05.400 --> 0:31:10.720
<v Speaker 4>to know that the universe has a different plan for you,

0:31:10.760 --> 0:31:13.200
<v Speaker 4>so you need to continue to do what it is

0:31:13.240 --> 0:31:18.680
<v Speaker 4>you're doing, and when it's the right time, it'll fall

0:31:18.680 --> 0:31:21.720
<v Speaker 4>in your lap. I never in a million years thought

0:31:21.760 --> 0:31:24.760
<v Speaker 4>that I was going to meet Charna.

0:31:25.360 --> 0:31:26.200
<v Speaker 3>How'd you guys meet?

0:31:26.440 --> 0:31:30.200
<v Speaker 4>So it was during COVID. We have a business manager

0:31:30.440 --> 0:31:36.200
<v Speaker 4>in common and she is not a matchmaker at all,

0:31:36.240 --> 0:31:39.120
<v Speaker 4>And she text me after she left my house. I

0:31:39.200 --> 0:31:40.959
<v Speaker 4>made coffee and we were hanging out and we were

0:31:41.000 --> 0:31:45.480
<v Speaker 4>talking about finances and the stuff you talk about with

0:31:45.520 --> 0:31:48.960
<v Speaker 4>the business manager, and she said to me, she texted

0:31:48.960 --> 0:31:50.480
<v Speaker 4>me and she was like, Hey, I've got a client

0:31:50.520 --> 0:31:53.280
<v Speaker 4>that I want you to meet it. I was intrigued

0:31:53.360 --> 0:31:57.520
<v Speaker 4>right away because that is just again that's not her thing.

0:31:57.560 --> 0:32:00.280
<v Speaker 2>But it's also like a validation's tamp of approval from

0:32:00.280 --> 0:32:02.520
<v Speaker 2>someone that you trust and that you I mean, you

0:32:02.520 --> 0:32:04.960
<v Speaker 2>trust her with your finances.

0:32:04.160 --> 0:32:07.400
<v Speaker 4>Someone I trust with my finances. That's someone I trust

0:32:07.440 --> 0:32:10.800
<v Speaker 4>in love. She's never ever been a matchmaker, right, But

0:32:11.480 --> 0:32:14.000
<v Speaker 4>I'd been with her for years. I was with her

0:32:14.120 --> 0:32:18.160
<v Speaker 4>when I was married and so and she she has

0:32:18.200 --> 0:32:22.120
<v Speaker 4>handled my ex wife's finances also, so she's been around

0:32:22.240 --> 0:32:24.680
<v Speaker 4>for a while. I know, I've known her for a while.

0:32:24.800 --> 0:32:27.080
<v Speaker 3>And she also knows you and knows you're a good

0:32:27.080 --> 0:32:31.360
<v Speaker 3>guy and responsible. She also knows Sharna really well, right,

0:32:31.480 --> 0:32:33.920
<v Speaker 3>that's that's a good that's a good story. I always

0:32:33.960 --> 0:32:38.160
<v Speaker 3>think divorce attorneys should have a side hustle of being

0:32:38.160 --> 0:32:38.920
<v Speaker 3>a matchmaker.

0:32:38.960 --> 0:32:39.920
<v Speaker 4>It's a really good idea.

0:32:40.120 --> 0:32:42.800
<v Speaker 3>Yes, that is a great idea, right, think about it.

0:32:42.680 --> 0:32:45.640
<v Speaker 4>Because they know you so well.

0:32:46.040 --> 0:32:49.240
<v Speaker 3>And they know the other person so well, and they

0:32:49.280 --> 0:32:51.400
<v Speaker 3>know who is the I hate to say it, but

0:32:51.480 --> 0:32:56.360
<v Speaker 3>the more problematic one in the divorce or in the

0:32:56.880 --> 0:32:57.520
<v Speaker 3>whole process.

0:32:57.600 --> 0:32:59.320
<v Speaker 4>She said to each of us, she was like, when

0:32:59.360 --> 0:33:01.440
<v Speaker 4>I'm with him, I think of you, and when I'm

0:33:01.480 --> 0:33:05.040
<v Speaker 4>with you, I think of him. And so we just

0:33:05.200 --> 0:33:08.320
<v Speaker 4>we each reminded her of the other ones. So we

0:33:08.360 --> 0:33:15.120
<v Speaker 4>met and it was a date, but not really not

0:33:15.160 --> 0:33:17.880
<v Speaker 4>really a date, but it was coffee and we ended

0:33:17.960 --> 0:33:21.280
<v Speaker 4>up talking for like six hours at this coffee shop.

0:33:22.000 --> 0:33:24.360
<v Speaker 4>It was just as things were starting to open up

0:33:25.200 --> 0:33:29.160
<v Speaker 4>and I had to be at work, and I was like,

0:33:29.560 --> 0:33:30.959
<v Speaker 4>I was supposed to be on the road, and I

0:33:31.000 --> 0:33:32.280
<v Speaker 4>was like, oh my god, I've got I have a

0:33:32.360 --> 0:33:35.440
<v Speaker 4>zoom call I'm supposed to be on and and she

0:33:35.560 --> 0:33:37.640
<v Speaker 4>was like, oh my god, was supposed to be somewhere.

0:33:38.200 --> 0:33:40.920
<v Speaker 4>And so we left and we were like, we should

0:33:40.920 --> 0:33:44.560
<v Speaker 4>do this again. This is amazing and we we went

0:33:44.600 --> 0:33:49.080
<v Speaker 4>and had breakfast to two mornings after that, and it

0:33:49.160 --> 0:33:51.080
<v Speaker 4>was the same thing. We ended up sitting down and

0:33:51.120 --> 0:33:52.959
<v Speaker 4>talking for like four and a half five hours. And

0:33:52.960 --> 0:33:55.440
<v Speaker 4>that was the point where restaurants were they had the

0:33:55.520 --> 0:33:59.480
<v Speaker 4>heart out rule, remember, because they were so it's limited space.

0:33:59.520 --> 0:34:01.360
<v Speaker 4>So they were like, okay, we'll give you a half

0:34:01.400 --> 0:34:03.520
<v Speaker 4>an hour and then we've got to like turn the

0:34:03.520 --> 0:34:07.880
<v Speaker 4>table over and get other people. No non, we ended

0:34:07.960 --> 0:34:10.560
<v Speaker 4>up closing that place down also, like we were in

0:34:10.640 --> 0:34:12.560
<v Speaker 4>until they were they were shutting their doors.

0:34:13.000 --> 0:34:16.680
<v Speaker 3>We hopefully your business manager is still your business manager,

0:34:16.719 --> 0:34:18.840
<v Speaker 3>and that you both gave her a raise because she

0:34:18.920 --> 0:34:20.520
<v Speaker 3>gave you the greatest gift in life.

0:34:20.760 --> 0:34:24.200
<v Speaker 4>We didn't give her a raise, but a bonus.

0:34:23.880 --> 0:34:24.640
<v Speaker 3>When you get married.

0:34:24.680 --> 0:34:29.480
<v Speaker 4>No, I'm kidding, but we've invited her to baby shower,

0:34:29.840 --> 0:34:33.440
<v Speaker 4>to everything, like we' she's a she's a part of

0:34:33.960 --> 0:34:35.920
<v Speaker 4>the family for sure. It's amazing.

0:34:46.440 --> 0:34:49.920
<v Speaker 3>So let's talk about sex. So you go out with somebody,

0:34:50.280 --> 0:34:54.440
<v Speaker 3>it's a great day. There's two scenarios. A she throws

0:34:54.440 --> 0:34:57.400
<v Speaker 3>the cat out right away. You guys have great sex.

0:34:58.320 --> 0:35:01.799
<v Speaker 3>Was it too soon or was it okay because you

0:35:01.880 --> 0:35:06.240
<v Speaker 3>were so into it? Or is it better if there's

0:35:06.280 --> 0:35:11.799
<v Speaker 3>more of a kind of sapio sexual gradual process where

0:35:11.840 --> 0:35:15.920
<v Speaker 3>you're getting to know each other, you're it's growing, you

0:35:16.000 --> 0:35:19.680
<v Speaker 3>haven't yet crossed that line. Where do you sit on that?

0:35:20.280 --> 0:35:24.640
<v Speaker 4>Honestly, I've had both. I've had Like my ex wife,

0:35:24.719 --> 0:35:29.640
<v Speaker 4>we we had sex. I think the first night that

0:35:29.680 --> 0:35:31.480
<v Speaker 4>we hung out and we ended up we were together

0:35:31.520 --> 0:35:34.799
<v Speaker 4>for fifteen years. And then Searana and I we didn't

0:35:34.800 --> 0:35:39.239
<v Speaker 4>even get physical until the fifth time that we hung out,

0:35:39.280 --> 0:35:41.560
<v Speaker 4>and at that point we literally just kissed and made

0:35:41.560 --> 0:35:44.000
<v Speaker 4>out in the car and then she went back inside.

0:35:44.680 --> 0:35:52.239
<v Speaker 4>They both both ways led to amazing things. I I

0:35:52.320 --> 0:35:59.960
<v Speaker 4>think the sex, I think it's about how the sex

0:36:00.520 --> 0:36:05.080
<v Speaker 4>came to be. Like I think there's I think there's

0:36:05.160 --> 0:36:09.840
<v Speaker 4>different processes in a date. So I think sometimes you

0:36:09.840 --> 0:36:11.880
<v Speaker 4>can have a date where you really feel connected and

0:36:11.880 --> 0:36:14.960
<v Speaker 4>you have this amazing conversation, so then the sex is

0:36:15.040 --> 0:36:16.440
<v Speaker 4>kind of the last thing on your mind, and then

0:36:16.440 --> 0:36:17.640
<v Speaker 4>you get to the end of the night and you're like,

0:36:17.680 --> 0:36:21.439
<v Speaker 4>oh my god, like we didn't we barely touched each other.

0:36:21.840 --> 0:36:24.319
<v Speaker 4>It was such an amazing conversation. And then you have

0:36:25.160 --> 0:36:28.120
<v Speaker 4>the conversations with people where it's just like, oh my god,

0:36:28.160 --> 0:36:31.319
<v Speaker 4>I'm completely just sexually attracted to you, and all of

0:36:31.320 --> 0:36:35.440
<v Speaker 4>our conversations are honestly leading in that direction. So let's

0:36:35.440 --> 0:36:40.680
<v Speaker 4>do this and then you have great conversation afterwards. I'm

0:36:40.800 --> 0:36:41.359
<v Speaker 4>open to.

0:36:41.480 --> 0:36:43.560
<v Speaker 3>Both situation by situation.

0:36:43.800 --> 0:36:46.440
<v Speaker 4>Basically, I don't think there are rules to it. I

0:36:46.480 --> 0:36:49.880
<v Speaker 4>think people make a mistake if they try and follow

0:36:49.920 --> 0:36:53.680
<v Speaker 4>specific rules of like oh, don't call right away, or

0:36:54.040 --> 0:36:56.160
<v Speaker 4>you know, give it three days, or like. There are

0:36:56.160 --> 0:36:58.960
<v Speaker 4>all these different variations, and I think, honestly, I think

0:36:58.960 --> 0:36:59.760
<v Speaker 4>they're all games.

0:37:00.440 --> 0:37:02.240
<v Speaker 3>So it's like organically letting.

0:37:02.400 --> 0:37:06.040
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, I think you're just sort of in and what

0:37:06.280 --> 0:37:10.120
<v Speaker 4>happens happens. And I think if you are, if you're

0:37:10.200 --> 0:37:13.719
<v Speaker 4>honest and you're clear from the get go, I think

0:37:13.760 --> 0:37:17.480
<v Speaker 4>it sort of unfolds in the way that makes sense.

0:37:17.640 --> 0:37:20.880
<v Speaker 4>You know, when I was single before Sean and I

0:37:20.960 --> 0:37:25.920
<v Speaker 4>started dating, there were situations where we had sex early

0:37:25.960 --> 0:37:27.880
<v Speaker 4>and it was great and it was fun, but we

0:37:28.000 --> 0:37:30.759
<v Speaker 4>just didn't have much of a connection beyond that. So

0:37:30.840 --> 0:37:34.080
<v Speaker 4>we did that a couple times and then it was like, okay, cool,

0:37:34.360 --> 0:37:38.480
<v Speaker 4>it's it's you know, it was a fun activity, but

0:37:39.160 --> 0:37:40.840
<v Speaker 4>I was at a point where I was looking for.

0:37:40.920 --> 0:37:45.200
<v Speaker 3>It, so as we're all older now, right, and and

0:37:45.440 --> 0:37:47.839
<v Speaker 3>you know we're saying, okay, let's let all those kind

0:37:47.880 --> 0:37:51.719
<v Speaker 3>of traditional quote you know, antiquated rules go out the window, right,

0:37:51.880 --> 0:37:55.399
<v Speaker 3>Like we're all parents, we've had experiences like all these

0:37:55.400 --> 0:37:58.680
<v Speaker 3>different things. So you go on a date with the girl,

0:37:58.920 --> 0:38:01.799
<v Speaker 3>how do you feel Here's a couple of questions with

0:38:01.880 --> 0:38:04.520
<v Speaker 3>basically the same kind of broad stroke. How do you

0:38:04.600 --> 0:38:09.360
<v Speaker 3>feel about you know, the next day, the girls texting you,

0:38:10.840 --> 0:38:13.880
<v Speaker 3>how do you feel like in terms of you not

0:38:14.360 --> 0:38:19.200
<v Speaker 3>doing kind of the first outreach post date and she's

0:38:19.239 --> 0:38:21.239
<v Speaker 3>taking the bull by the horns? Is that hot? Is

0:38:21.280 --> 0:38:21.920
<v Speaker 3>it confident?

0:38:22.120 --> 0:38:25.920
<v Speaker 4>Is it I that that literally means nothing to me,

0:38:26.760 --> 0:38:30.160
<v Speaker 4>because if it did, again, I feel like that is

0:38:30.400 --> 0:38:33.520
<v Speaker 4>I am in some sort of a game. And there's uh,

0:38:33.640 --> 0:38:38.279
<v Speaker 4>there's there's thought into things outside of just speaking to

0:38:38.400 --> 0:38:41.600
<v Speaker 4>and spending time with the person that I met that

0:38:41.680 --> 0:38:43.880
<v Speaker 4>I really get along with them, I'm looking forward to

0:38:44.239 --> 0:38:44.719
<v Speaker 4>talking to.

0:38:44.960 --> 0:38:47.440
<v Speaker 3>So it shows that they're thinking about you, right.

0:38:47.680 --> 0:38:50.560
<v Speaker 4>Why like why waste all of this time on like

0:38:50.680 --> 0:38:56.719
<v Speaker 4>the rules and yeah, what and who if I I'm fifty two,

0:38:56.920 --> 0:39:00.760
<v Speaker 4>if I enjoy a conversation with you, let's have another

0:39:00.800 --> 0:39:04.040
<v Speaker 4>conversation as soon as possible, Like why.

0:39:03.880 --> 0:39:05.520
<v Speaker 1>Are we waiting?

0:39:05.719 --> 0:39:05.799
<v Speaker 2>What?

0:39:06.040 --> 0:39:06.239
<v Speaker 1>Yeah?

0:39:06.320 --> 0:39:08.080
<v Speaker 4>What are we? What are we with?

0:39:08.160 --> 0:39:08.239
<v Speaker 3>You?

0:39:08.480 --> 0:39:09.720
<v Speaker 4>Like kidding ourselves for.

0:39:09.800 --> 0:39:11.840
<v Speaker 3>You know, I went out with somebody last week and

0:39:11.880 --> 0:39:15.040
<v Speaker 3>I was telling this story about this. I put cayenne

0:39:15.040 --> 0:39:17.719
<v Speaker 3>pepper in my coffee and he was like what I go, yeah,

0:39:17.760 --> 0:39:18.160
<v Speaker 3>so like.

0:39:18.560 --> 0:39:21.080
<v Speaker 4>Wa wait you like willingly you know it?

0:39:21.400 --> 0:39:21.840
<v Speaker 1>Yeah?

0:39:22.400 --> 0:39:24.000
<v Speaker 4>Coffee? Why? Oh?

0:39:24.239 --> 0:39:27.160
<v Speaker 3>My whole coffee creation is like bananas anyway.

0:39:26.880 --> 0:39:29.719
<v Speaker 4>So your coffee game is elevated, got it?

0:39:29.880 --> 0:39:31.080
<v Speaker 3>Well, I wouldn't say it's elevated.

0:39:31.080 --> 0:39:34.160
<v Speaker 4>I would say it's Dianne, which nobody has. I've never

0:39:34.200 --> 0:39:35.120
<v Speaker 4>heard of that before.

0:39:34.960 --> 0:39:37.160
<v Speaker 3>So neither tomorrow.

0:39:37.400 --> 0:39:41.280
<v Speaker 4>It's either elevated or you're an alcoholic and there's something

0:39:41.280 --> 0:39:43.040
<v Speaker 4>else we should be talking about. Because the.

0:39:44.640 --> 0:39:46.719
<v Speaker 3>Something and the cinnamon sugar. Anyway, So I took a

0:39:46.760 --> 0:39:49.840
<v Speaker 3>picture of it, okay, and I sent him the picture

0:39:49.840 --> 0:39:52.800
<v Speaker 3>of it with the coffee, and he wrote back saying,

0:39:53.440 --> 0:39:56.520
<v Speaker 3>oh my god, you made my day that you reached

0:39:56.560 --> 0:39:58.640
<v Speaker 3>out to me. This is making me And it was

0:39:58.680 --> 0:40:03.279
<v Speaker 3>like so warm and receptive and you know, it just

0:40:03.280 --> 0:40:04.120
<v Speaker 3>felt it felt good.

0:40:04.600 --> 0:40:06.920
<v Speaker 4>That's yeah. I mean, what are you looking for? Are

0:40:06.920 --> 0:40:11.400
<v Speaker 4>you looking for a real relationship with someone? Where an ease.

0:40:11.680 --> 0:40:15.640
<v Speaker 4>Feel that and the person that you are dating feels

0:40:15.680 --> 0:40:18.040
<v Speaker 4>that as well. If you do, if that's what you're

0:40:18.080 --> 0:40:22.719
<v Speaker 4>looking for, do that. It's it doesn't have to be

0:40:22.840 --> 0:40:24.000
<v Speaker 4>that complicated.

0:40:24.239 --> 0:40:24.520
<v Speaker 1>Do it.

0:40:25.280 --> 0:40:30.759
<v Speaker 4>Enjoy speaking to each other, enjoy sharing silly stories and

0:40:30.840 --> 0:40:35.120
<v Speaker 4>pictures and thinking about you just wanted to let you know, like,

0:40:35.880 --> 0:40:40.200
<v Speaker 4>you know, be secure in that, and hope that the

0:40:40.239 --> 0:40:44.840
<v Speaker 4>person that you're interested in is secure in the same way,

0:40:44.880 --> 0:40:48.600
<v Speaker 4>because you're setting yourself up for the kind of relationship

0:40:48.680 --> 0:40:53.239
<v Speaker 4>that you want. And if they if they experience that

0:40:53.520 --> 0:40:57.440
<v Speaker 4>as I don't like that, I feel attacked. I feel

0:40:57.440 --> 0:40:59.840
<v Speaker 4>like that, you know, that's just way too committal for

0:40:59.880 --> 0:41:02.400
<v Speaker 4>me right now. And they've got all these walls up,

0:41:02.400 --> 0:41:05.600
<v Speaker 4>in these guards up, then you know, and you get

0:41:05.640 --> 0:41:10.560
<v Speaker 4>the fuck out now, stop wasting time, right like, do it?

0:41:10.640 --> 0:41:14.640
<v Speaker 4>And if it literally lasts for a day, it's it's one,

0:41:14.800 --> 0:41:18.920
<v Speaker 4>you know, it's a day out of a lifetime. Move on,

0:41:19.520 --> 0:41:23.360
<v Speaker 4>go meet some other people, compared to somebody that like

0:41:23.640 --> 0:41:25.920
<v Speaker 4>kind of leads you on a little bit with it,

0:41:25.960 --> 0:41:28.200
<v Speaker 4>but it's not really something that they're into. And then

0:41:28.239 --> 0:41:30.919
<v Speaker 4>it's overwhelming, and then all of a sudden you're going,

0:41:31.000 --> 0:41:32.960
<v Speaker 4>oh my God, what have I done. I've been this

0:41:33.000 --> 0:41:36.000
<v Speaker 4>way since the beginning, but they sort of lied to

0:41:36.040 --> 0:41:38.080
<v Speaker 4>me and they led me onto they led me to

0:41:38.120 --> 0:41:41.399
<v Speaker 4>believe that they liked this, but they didn't really like.

0:41:41.360 --> 0:41:44.840
<v Speaker 1>I don't have time, right, brat. Let me ask you

0:41:44.880 --> 0:41:47.480
<v Speaker 1>a question. What do you I love that?

0:41:47.680 --> 0:41:50.040
<v Speaker 2>I think that's just really smart too, And it's just

0:41:50.120 --> 0:41:52.080
<v Speaker 2>like a lot of people and just like, well, you know,

0:41:52.080 --> 0:41:54.600
<v Speaker 2>they have these expectations of things you're going to change

0:41:54.760 --> 0:41:58.399
<v Speaker 2>or evolve. I mean, people tell you exactly who they are.

0:41:58.680 --> 0:41:59.879
<v Speaker 2>They tell you, so.

0:42:00.080 --> 0:42:03.800
<v Speaker 1>You're not listening to your problem. What Why do men ghost?

0:42:05.280 --> 0:42:09.320
<v Speaker 4>I think I think men ghost because they're not honest

0:42:09.440 --> 0:42:11.960
<v Speaker 4>about how they feel from the get go. So they

0:42:12.000 --> 0:42:16.520
<v Speaker 4>feel like I don't want to be confrontational or say

0:42:16.560 --> 0:42:18.839
<v Speaker 4>no to somebody, so I'm just going to disappear. It's

0:42:18.880 --> 0:42:20.239
<v Speaker 4>just easier because then.

0:42:20.880 --> 0:42:22.040
<v Speaker 3>It's just so rude.

0:42:22.520 --> 0:42:25.319
<v Speaker 4>But then, but then I don't have to deal with

0:42:25.360 --> 0:42:29.319
<v Speaker 4>the repercussions of this person that I let on for

0:42:29.400 --> 0:42:32.080
<v Speaker 4>this way or that way, you know, and not being

0:42:32.160 --> 0:42:34.440
<v Speaker 4>honest about it, and like I don't have to answer

0:42:34.520 --> 0:42:38.359
<v Speaker 4>to anything. I can literally just disappear and she can

0:42:38.400 --> 0:42:41.920
<v Speaker 4>think whatever she thinks until she forgets about me, who cares?

0:42:43.120 --> 0:42:45.560
<v Speaker 2>So now I have another question about the process of

0:42:45.600 --> 0:42:48.400
<v Speaker 2>breaking up for men. So do you know a lot

0:42:48.440 --> 0:42:51.319
<v Speaker 2>of men who've been through therapy after divorce or how

0:42:51.440 --> 0:42:54.319
<v Speaker 2>how do you how do you and your friends like

0:42:54.520 --> 0:42:56.600
<v Speaker 2>process that that time?

0:42:57.080 --> 0:43:03.800
<v Speaker 4>So so, me and my friends, we are very honest

0:43:03.840 --> 0:43:05.880
<v Speaker 4>with each other. I have a great group of guys

0:43:06.239 --> 0:43:10.560
<v Speaker 4>around me. We are very complimentary of each other. We

0:43:10.600 --> 0:43:15.239
<v Speaker 4>support each other, we're we're like constantly giving each other

0:43:15.360 --> 0:43:17.960
<v Speaker 4>a pat on the back when you're dad, when you're

0:43:17.960 --> 0:43:21.080
<v Speaker 4>doing those things. Because those are the kind of people

0:43:21.080 --> 0:43:24.279
<v Speaker 4>that I want around me. I think I think it's

0:43:24.440 --> 0:43:29.600
<v Speaker 4>very telling the people that are around someone that you

0:43:29.719 --> 0:43:35.719
<v Speaker 4>meet because their friends are that that gives you a

0:43:35.840 --> 0:43:39.799
<v Speaker 4>very clear picture of where they are in life. And

0:43:40.040 --> 0:43:43.200
<v Speaker 4>when you again, when you meet someone and they show

0:43:43.239 --> 0:43:47.080
<v Speaker 4>you who they are, believe them and I and you

0:43:47.120 --> 0:43:49.560
<v Speaker 4>know a lot of times they show you who they

0:43:49.600 --> 0:43:51.600
<v Speaker 4>are by the people that they're surrounded.

0:43:51.800 --> 0:43:53.440
<v Speaker 3>You are who you surround yourself with.

0:43:54.120 --> 0:43:56.960
<v Speaker 4>Like, I feel like I'm in a place where I

0:43:57.200 --> 0:44:00.920
<v Speaker 4>want the people around me that are on the same

0:44:01.000 --> 0:44:04.560
<v Speaker 4>path as me. They want to they want to they

0:44:04.560 --> 0:44:06.680
<v Speaker 4>want to take that road less travel, they want to

0:44:06.719 --> 0:44:09.560
<v Speaker 4>be authentic. They want to live in the moment. They

0:44:09.560 --> 0:44:13.600
<v Speaker 4>want to be real. They they don't feel insecure about things,

0:44:13.680 --> 0:44:16.319
<v Speaker 4>and if they do, they share them. You know, I

0:44:16.320 --> 0:44:18.960
<v Speaker 4>don't want to be with a group of people that

0:44:19.560 --> 0:44:23.040
<v Speaker 4>are just fun to hang out with. But I don't actually,

0:44:23.280 --> 0:44:26.040
<v Speaker 4>I don't actually grow with because what's the fucking I

0:44:26.080 --> 0:44:30.400
<v Speaker 4>want to grow like. I don't ever want to be

0:44:30.520 --> 0:44:34.480
<v Speaker 4>in a place where I am just settling for life.

0:44:35.239 --> 0:44:39.480
<v Speaker 4>I don't and I and I know that as uh

0:44:39.600 --> 0:44:44.080
<v Speaker 4>as much as I've learned and grown, I I plan

0:44:44.200 --> 0:44:45.879
<v Speaker 4>on doing that for the rest of my life. And

0:44:46.000 --> 0:44:48.880
<v Speaker 4>I love any information that I get from somebody that

0:44:49.239 --> 0:44:52.440
<v Speaker 4>makes me go hmm, holy shit. I didn't I never

0:44:52.480 --> 0:44:54.520
<v Speaker 4>even thought of that. That's amazing.

0:44:54.880 --> 0:44:56.600
<v Speaker 2>I have one last question before I have to wrap up.

0:44:56.640 --> 0:44:59.520
<v Speaker 2>But have you been on dates where women just have

0:44:59.640 --> 0:45:02.200
<v Speaker 2>had too much therapy and they're just like with that

0:45:02.280 --> 0:45:04.920
<v Speaker 2>therapy speak? Have you been on those and what are

0:45:04.920 --> 0:45:05.319
<v Speaker 2>your thoughts?

0:45:05.520 --> 0:45:10.160
<v Speaker 4>Yeah? I think so. My bullsh meter is really sensitive

0:45:10.200 --> 0:45:13.440
<v Speaker 4>when it comes to people that talk the talk instead

0:45:13.440 --> 0:45:17.560
<v Speaker 4>of walking the walk. Yeah, I think, you know, I

0:45:17.600 --> 0:45:20.360
<v Speaker 4>think all of the self help books and the stuff

0:45:20.480 --> 0:45:24.799
<v Speaker 4>people can stay the right words. I but I can

0:45:25.200 --> 0:45:29.120
<v Speaker 4>feel when they are actually walking the walk, when they

0:45:29.120 --> 0:45:32.600
<v Speaker 4>are reading those things and they're going, Okay, got it,

0:45:32.960 --> 0:45:37.160
<v Speaker 4>I'm going to try that stuff. Walking the walk is

0:45:37.200 --> 0:45:39.760
<v Speaker 4>not It's not an easy thing to do. I always

0:45:39.760 --> 0:45:44.200
<v Speaker 4>tell people, you know, it's so easy for people to

0:45:44.280 --> 0:45:48.160
<v Speaker 4>preach about meditating and the things it's really hard to do.

0:45:48.600 --> 0:45:53.160
<v Speaker 4>Monks don't live on a mountain because it's fun. They

0:45:53.200 --> 0:45:56.440
<v Speaker 4>live on the top of a mountain by themselves because

0:45:56.480 --> 0:46:00.080
<v Speaker 4>that's what they have to do to stay focused on

0:46:00.400 --> 0:46:03.759
<v Speaker 4>who they want to be. So I love you know,

0:46:04.960 --> 0:46:07.640
<v Speaker 4>like you have to. You have to be honest about it.

0:46:07.960 --> 0:46:10.040
<v Speaker 4>You know. I'm honest with people about the fact that

0:46:10.920 --> 0:46:16.680
<v Speaker 4>meditating the like the way you you normally hear about meditating,

0:46:16.800 --> 0:46:20.200
<v Speaker 4>like sitting in a room quietly and you know, and

0:46:20.200 --> 0:46:22.680
<v Speaker 4>and doing an um and some sort of thing and

0:46:22.920 --> 0:46:26.200
<v Speaker 4>and and sitting like that is not I suck at that.

0:46:26.200 --> 0:46:29.520
<v Speaker 4>That is not something that I do. Meditation for me

0:46:29.960 --> 0:46:35.160
<v Speaker 4>is working outside on something d I Y like projects.

0:46:35.239 --> 0:46:38.879
<v Speaker 4>I when I'm by myself doing these things, I start

0:46:38.920 --> 0:46:42.440
<v Speaker 4>getting into my head and and and you know, hearing

0:46:42.600 --> 0:46:46.040
<v Speaker 4>conversations that I had with people and reflecting on what

0:46:46.160 --> 0:46:49.600
<v Speaker 4>I liked about what I did, and what I didn't

0:46:49.719 --> 0:46:51.920
<v Speaker 4>like about what I did. Like, I try and be

0:46:53.400 --> 0:46:59.520
<v Speaker 4>really conscious in moments, and there there are always times

0:46:59.520 --> 0:47:01.600
<v Speaker 4>where you get the end of the day and you go, God,

0:47:01.800 --> 0:47:04.719
<v Speaker 4>I did not handle that the way I wanted to.

0:47:05.160 --> 0:47:07.640
<v Speaker 4>So I try and live as consciously as possible.

0:47:08.320 --> 0:47:09.920
<v Speaker 1>I love that with that, Brian.

0:47:10.120 --> 0:47:18.080
<v Speaker 2>Thank you so much for you're.

0:47:14.920 --> 0:47:17.560
<v Speaker 4>Gonna go, Yeah, you're gonna go, like organize your closet

0:47:17.680 --> 0:47:22.520
<v Speaker 4>or something like, yeah, hey, whatever, whatever it is that

0:47:22.640 --> 0:47:26.600
<v Speaker 4>gets you out of like the grind of stuff and

0:47:26.680 --> 0:47:30.520
<v Speaker 4>activity with other people and gets you into an activity

0:47:30.640 --> 0:47:34.839
<v Speaker 4>just with yourself where you can sit and really kind

0:47:34.840 --> 0:47:38.600
<v Speaker 4>of unwind and focus and breathe a little bit. You

0:47:38.719 --> 0:47:42.520
<v Speaker 4>can do that, man, whatever it is, if it's doing

0:47:42.560 --> 0:47:47.240
<v Speaker 4>dishes or doing laundry, or cleaning or gardening or washing

0:47:47.280 --> 0:47:51.160
<v Speaker 4>the car, whatever it is, do it.

0:47:52.160 --> 0:47:53.920
<v Speaker 1>Thank you so much, Brian.

0:47:54.040 --> 0:47:56.560
<v Speaker 4>We love having.

0:47:56.120 --> 0:47:58.200
<v Speaker 2>I'm so excited. I can't wait to pad with you

0:47:58.320 --> 0:48:01.839
<v Speaker 2>so many more times. I need to hear everything that's

0:48:01.880 --> 0:48:02.200
<v Speaker 2>in that.

0:48:02.200 --> 0:48:04.960
<v Speaker 4>Brain of yours. Thank you so much for the hot

0:48:05.000 --> 0:48:06.560
<v Speaker 4>takes falling out constantly.

0:48:06.760 --> 0:48:09.120
<v Speaker 1>We're so excited for you to be on ITU Part two.

0:48:09.600 --> 0:48:11.319
<v Speaker 2>Do you have any questions you want to get on

0:48:11.360 --> 0:48:13.759
<v Speaker 2>Brian's perspective and when it comes to love.

0:48:13.760 --> 0:48:20.120
<v Speaker 1>Dating, sex, divorce, all of it. Email us or call us.

0:48:20.200 --> 0:48:23.080
<v Speaker 2>All of the info are in the show notes falls

0:48:23.120 --> 0:48:26.239
<v Speaker 2>on Socials. Make sure to rate and review the podcast

0:48:26.480 --> 0:48:29.440
<v Speaker 2>I Do Part two an iHeartRadio podcast.

0:48:29.719 --> 0:48:32.880
<v Speaker 1>We're falling in love is the main objective.