Speaker 1: Talk's talk talk to We're just two unapologetically black women
Speaker 1: with an opinion to talk.
Speaker 2: What's up, y'all, Welcome to a new episode that we
Speaker 2: talked Back and show dedicated to you niggas in these holes.
Speaker 3: It's your co host AJ Holiday. What's up, Tam, Hey.
Speaker 1: Girl, Hey y'all, it's me Tam Vam. I love y'all.
Speaker 1: Once again, thank y'all for tuning in.
Speaker 3: What's up? Girl?
Speaker 1: Oh, it was a great weekend with the night so
Speaker 1: I feel like a celebrity.
Speaker 3: Hello, tiny bit girl.
Speaker 2: Okay, I know this is we talk back, but when
Speaker 2: I tell you, I'm tired of fucking talking, relean it. Yes,
Speaker 2: I don't wanna talk to everybody this weekend, y'all everybody,
Speaker 2: but I enjoyed it.
Speaker 3: I did feel like a super celebrity, let's be clear.
Speaker 1: So we had the Black Effect Podcast Festival, the very
Speaker 1: first one, and it was lit and it was our
Speaker 1: first live show, so I was nervous. I was all nervous, Like,
Speaker 1: what about did you feel like a whole bunch of adrenaline?
Speaker 2: Yes, I felt like my panties were showing. I have
Speaker 2: not known, but I felt like they were showing.
Speaker 1: I felt like I had boggers.
Speaker 3: I felt like I had the fart. All type of
Speaker 3: shit was happening.
Speaker 1: You know what, Like I didn't eat just so I
Speaker 1: wouldn't have to use the bathroom. I didn't eat, eat anything.
Speaker 1: And when we did stupid internet news, my head, like
Speaker 1: my thoughts went blank.
Speaker 2: Mine too, because I didn't know what to say about
Speaker 2: Diddy and Karsha asked either way.
Speaker 1: It was a good time and I had fun and
Speaker 1: I enjoyed myself and I can't wait to do it.
Speaker 1: We're gonna set up our tour, yes, so y'all stay
Speaker 1: tuned for that.
Speaker 2: That's what I'm looking forward to the most, so we
Speaker 2: can have all the creative patrol over all shit and
Speaker 2: it's gonna be lit. I definitely want to bring the
Speaker 2: drummer out so you can have a.
Speaker 1: Bigger opportunity, yeah, to showcase his talent, because they really
Speaker 1: didn't get the feel full feel of that drummer man,
Speaker 1: because it's like go go, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: It Lit puts the baby show the niggas, which you
Speaker 2: ain't scared of him.
Speaker 1: Let's get into stupid internet news. Okay, So what I
Speaker 1: found Lotto has a song and she speaks on Coyler
Speaker 1: Ray and she says smoking gas and a big blunt
Speaker 1: like Coiler Ray. And I don't think she meant it
Speaker 1: as a disc but uh. On the shade room, Coiler
Speaker 1: Ray responded to Lotto and was like, Lotto, by here
Speaker 1: you go talking about my body. Please do not come
Speaker 1: on here and talk about nobody's body. Lol. Like seriously,
Speaker 1: out of all things, left my ass off. Your blunts,
Speaker 1: you'll blunt my size, left my ass off. This ship
Speaker 1: is never ending. And that's what Coiler Ray said.
Speaker 2: I think her response was she was like, uh, I
Speaker 2: feel I feel like maybe it was a little bit
Speaker 2: of insecurity on her part because I don't think it
Speaker 2: was that serious what Lotto said. So I feel like,
Speaker 2: you know, she is slim thick, and which is coming
Speaker 2: to not slim? Well, is she slim thick?
Speaker 1: She's slim.
Speaker 3: I think she got a little booty though, don't she
Speaker 3: she slim? She got a little booty.
Speaker 2: I thought that's what Lotto meant by the lyric.
Speaker 1: I thought she meant like she rolling a blunt. You
Speaker 1: know that's so fat. It's the sas a human slim person.
Speaker 1: That's what I thought she meant, like it's dad big.
Speaker 1: You know, she putting all the gas in there.
Speaker 3: You know, I just don't think it was shade and
Speaker 3: she might have overreach. And then she came back shit
Speaker 3: to the Twitter.
Speaker 1: So she came back and said, maybe I overreacted. End
Speaker 1: of the day. Don't say my name for clicks and likes,
Speaker 1: especially if we don't speak or communicate. I'm not a
Speaker 1: big blunt, small blunt. Don't compare me to not I'm
Speaker 1: minching bitches. You actually beef with put it on the floor,
Speaker 1: but leave me out of the bullshit.
Speaker 3: That's not a beef though.
Speaker 2: That was not a beef, Larry, that was not She
Speaker 2: didn't take a shot at her anything.
Speaker 1: Yeah. So during Coachella, Lotto came back and said, oh,
Speaker 1: coil Away, by the way, I love your body, baby,
Speaker 1: Like she was just like ended it, like I don't
Speaker 1: want to smoke. But in Coiler rays defence, she gets,
Speaker 1: you know, scrutinized for her body type and celebrating her
Speaker 1: body the way that she does. So she probably was
Speaker 1: just triggered just the mintion of her body was like,
Speaker 1: don't say nothing by my body. God damn it, I'm
Speaker 1: tired of y'all talking about my body.
Speaker 2: I definitely don't think that one offul Pairs would come
Speaker 2: in her like that out of nowhere.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but you know how rap beef is, and it's
Speaker 1: like entertaining them to create create beef where there is none.
Speaker 2: So if that's the case, then they should just leave
Speaker 2: it at that. Then it's just some rap shit like
Speaker 2: she created the beef. As far as I'm concerned, Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: I don't think a lot of creator.
Speaker 1: But I feel like Lot don't be having beef with everybody.
Speaker 1: Seemed like every week we look at lotn't having to
Speaker 1: argue about something with somebody.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 2: I can understand the argument with her Nicki Minaj, because
Speaker 2: Nicki Minaj dou you know, act like somebody supposed to
Speaker 2: kiss her eyes. And that's another thing Lotto said at Coachella,
Speaker 2: Like what She's basically like, I'm not kissing nobody fucking eyes.
Speaker 1: I'm not mad at that. Stay in your ground. I
Speaker 1: love you some Nick Minaj too, though, So I love
Speaker 1: I pretty much love all these ladies. They're all like strong,
Speaker 1: powerful rappers and they got good music.
Speaker 2: So I'm here from none of them rap better than
Speaker 2: nick Minaj, So let's be clear.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, no, I will go that far. But they
Speaker 1: all make good music.
Speaker 2: Uh so apparently now and a shanty are a thing again.
Speaker 2: I don't know how true it is, but they did perform.
Speaker 2: They had are performance recently together, and I was laying
Speaker 2: in my homegirl bed and I was like, shant she
Speaker 2: didn't leave Nelly alone cause she looked like she's getting
Speaker 2: a way already.
Speaker 3: Get that relationship on your She does.
Speaker 2: But she had like some little hot pass you know,
Speaker 2: she got them granny ankles like, she got them nice thick,
Speaker 2: pretty legs, right, but she only had the biggest booty
Speaker 2: and she had these little pants on.
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh shit, you look at your body.
Speaker 3: Sham bitch, I got the same shit going on. That's
Speaker 3: not a body shaming. They look I like them.
Speaker 2: I can tell she in a relationship that based on
Speaker 2: her body right now, I can tell she's in a relation.
Speaker 1: I like them together. They look cute together. They always did.
Speaker 1: I like them back in two thousand early two thousands
Speaker 1: when they were together. I didn't want them to split.
Speaker 1: So seeing them performing together is like nostalgic and it's cool.
Speaker 1: I'm here for it.
Speaker 2: So do you do you think she stayed single all
Speaker 2: that time. Well, we don't know if she was single
Speaker 2: or not. She wasn't publicly with anybody else since Nelly
Speaker 2: didn't she date floor Rider At some.
Speaker 3: Point they were saying she was dating floor Rider.
Speaker 2: But anyway, I don't know if I want her with Nelly.
Speaker 2: I want her to get somebody else.
Speaker 1: Why do it? No?
Speaker 2: Didn't did he not just have some situation going on
Speaker 2: like maybe last year year before, a little court case
Speaker 2: where he might have assaulted a woman on the tour bus.
Speaker 1: I don't know nothing about that.
Speaker 3: I do, y'all remember that. I remember it.
Speaker 1: So he's not worthy of love because of that.
Speaker 2: Not as a grown man. No, she happens, No sit
Speaker 2: does not happen. You have to have self control.
Speaker 1: I agree you need self control. And I think Nelly,
Speaker 1: I just I just think Nelly is a good guy overall.
Speaker 3: How do you feel about niggaspinning the block though?
Speaker 1: Like?
Speaker 3: Why did he? Why did you not?
Speaker 1: Like maybe they had some growing to do everybody involved.
Speaker 2: So bow Wall said he needs to come with a
Speaker 2: ring this time, which I agree with, Like if you're
Speaker 2: going to spend the block and we had this big
Speaker 2: ass age, like at what point, I don't need a
Speaker 2: boyfriend at my forties in my forties, but why is
Speaker 2: bow wow?
Speaker 1: The messengers though.
Speaker 3: Wasn't he just on ball and alert? Talk about he
Speaker 3: ain't getting married?
Speaker 2: Right, he's been engaged twice, and it was like, whatever,
Speaker 2: he ain't trying to get married.
Speaker 1: And now give him marriage advice. That's funny.
Speaker 3: My business boy, boy, grown boy.
Speaker 1: That's a grown man. But okay, well, I'm here for it.
Speaker 1: I hope they do like a Vegas residency like Usher
Speaker 1: with Nellie and a shanty all they hit, I would
Speaker 1: go see.
Speaker 3: I'll be there me too. All right.
Speaker 1: So last thing I needed to talk about and I
Speaker 1: gotta talk about it Snowfall finale. Oh my god. All right,
Speaker 1: so listen, if y'all haven't seen it, y'all need to
Speaker 1: go ahead and just fast forward right now because we
Speaker 1: about to get into that real quick, frank like. All right.
Speaker 1: So at the last season, I hated that Nigga I
Speaker 1: ain't gonna lie. It was not root for him. He
Speaker 1: turned dark right to me. He just wasn't the character
Speaker 1: that we started with. So I felt like in the
Speaker 1: end he got the karma that he had coming, right,
Speaker 1: But it just seemed like a little far fetched to me, like,
Speaker 1: I know, like, because I know some niggas who are
Speaker 1: alcoholics now that they be like man, when he was young,
Speaker 1: he was the man, right, but not a seventy three
Speaker 1: million dollar nigga.
Speaker 3: You know, had seventy three million dollars.
Speaker 1: He got it stolen from him. He got to take
Speaker 1: it from him, and I guess he lost his mind.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I couldn't understand the mental language because you have
Speaker 2: to build wealth. Now he builds some wealth up the same,
Speaker 2: but just million. If somebody could just take that shit
Speaker 2: in the day.
Speaker 1: But I just feel like if he was able to
Speaker 1: build it once, he should have been able to even
Speaker 1: build maybe half an hour.
Speaker 2: I have to be mentally stable to do that. Like
Speaker 2: imagine boy, him looking so bad.
Speaker 1: I'm talking about real bad, dirty as fuck, red ring
Speaker 1: around his eye, and this nigga had all this money
Speaker 1: and he leon gave him a dub to get some
Speaker 1: drink and he was like.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Andrew Jackson A.
Speaker 1: I was like, that's why he looked like like he
Speaker 1: straight looked very cracky. He was living in his mom's
Speaker 1: old house and it was just dilapidated and just all
Speaker 1: messed up, and it was just so sad.
Speaker 2: I see him go out like that, So I don't
Speaker 2: know I watched the first I don't know. I might've
Speaker 2: watched the first season, and that was just recently, like
Speaker 2: maybe last August.
Speaker 3: I started trying to watch it. When did we have
Speaker 3: What's the Auntie on there? Oh?
Speaker 2: We had Louis on? Yeah, when we had Louis on.
Speaker 2: I started trying to watch Snowfall and fell off again.
Speaker 1: I didn't like how Louis went out either, but I
Speaker 1: guess that was her karma too, for becoming like so
Speaker 1: what happened to her? Louis was in a barn hiding
Speaker 1: from like a federal agents who were hunting her. And
Speaker 1: she was like working at this like stable somewhere, working
Speaker 1: for people, and she was hiding cause they were trying
Speaker 1: to find her. And I guess the people who owned
Speaker 1: the stable protected her and said they hadn't seen her,
Speaker 1: like she had ran off and she was just in there, like,
Speaker 1: thank thanking God that they helped her.
Speaker 3: So she never went to prison or anything.
Speaker 1: No, she's still running. Oh damn in a barn, bitch,
Speaker 1: just hiding in the barn. So yeah, she's running. She
Speaker 1: on the run. Uh, everybody like the Leon he was
Speaker 1: the one who was surprised everybody. You know, I think
Speaker 1: when he killed that kid, it just and what's the
Speaker 1: guy I can't remember the dude's name, Scully, Scully, you know,
Speaker 1: forgave him, It vindicated him, and he just changed his
Speaker 1: whole soul and spirit and he ended up being the
Speaker 1: one who was successful in the end.
Speaker 3: So what was he doing. Was he selling dope or
Speaker 3: you get no?
Speaker 1: He yeah, he was a businessman and he had started
Speaker 1: some type of foundation to like help people in the community.
Speaker 1: I can't remember exactly to what tune, but he wanted
Speaker 1: He tried to come get Franklin to come get involved,
Speaker 1: and Franklin was like, nigga, give me twenty so I
Speaker 1: can get a drink and get on. And he was like,
Speaker 1: you're the best friend I ever had. Man. Franklin told
Speaker 1: him that, and then what I saw all right, So
Speaker 1: if you can remember on the first episode when he's
Speaker 1: talking to Mail, he said he just wanted to be free, right,
Speaker 1: That's all he wanted. He wanted to be free, And
Speaker 1: then you see his drunk as daddy walk by. Right
Speaker 1: in the end, he's as drunk, he turns into the
Speaker 1: same niggas his daddy is, and he said, I'm finally free.
Speaker 1: He says he finally free, but this was his freedom,
Speaker 1: which was so sad.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 2: I kind of think that sometimes when I see like
Speaker 2: bums on the street, like they really be bucking the system.
Speaker 2: Like we may see it like, oh they homeless, they
Speaker 2: don't have shit, But when like I go to the
Speaker 2: Caribbean and stuff like that, I see people living like
Speaker 2: like minimalist, less stress, Like it's fucking stress. Was fuck
Speaker 2: in America to maintain all these things, right, you know
Speaker 2: what I'm saying, and push it. Yeah, and that is freedom.
Speaker 2: It is a form of freedom.
Speaker 3: But bitch, I need to be freedom.
Speaker 1: That's the kind of yacht that niggad a ring around
Speaker 1: his eye. He looks stanky as fuck.
Speaker 2: I was like, okay, so I don't watch No I
Speaker 2: haven't watched No Fall. So when I saw all the
Speaker 2: different memes online he had that red I'm like, did
Speaker 2: he turn it to zombie?
Speaker 3: Like? What the is happening? It's like Resident Evil.
Speaker 1: Right, they had him looking real fucked up, and it
Speaker 1: just was I just don't feel like John Singleton would
Speaker 1: have ended it that way.
Speaker 2: They had a good run. They had a really good run.
Speaker 2: So it was that sixth seasons, so about six years.
Speaker 2: That's a long ass time.
Speaker 3: So yeah, well RP.
Speaker 1: John Singleton, all right, it's our stupid Internet news. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna have a commercial break and we'll be right back.
Speaker 2: All right, y'all way back for our commercial break, and
Speaker 2: you know what I want to talk about to day town.
Speaker 3: I would like.
Speaker 2: To talk about emotional intelligence.
Speaker 3: What is it?
Speaker 2: How can you practice emotional intelligence? I feel like it's
Speaker 2: almost a term a lot of people use, almost like
Speaker 2: calling somebody a narcissists. It's like just another thing to
Speaker 2: try to shame somebody, like, oh, they don't have emotional intelligence,
Speaker 2: can't talk to them more. Maybe even I think women
Speaker 2: may use it a lot when talking about men, like
Speaker 2: they're just like emotionally unavailable kind of.
Speaker 3: So listen.
Speaker 2: The definition of emotional intelligence is it's most often defined
Speaker 2: as the ability to perceive, use, understand, manage, and handle emotions.
Speaker 2: People with high emotional intelligence can recognize their own emotions
Speaker 2: and those of others, use more information to guide thinking
Speaker 2: and behavior, discern between different feelings and label them appropriately,
Speaker 2: and adjust emotions to adapt to environments. So that's the
Speaker 2: definition of having emotions.
Speaker 1: You just said a whole bunch of shit, and yeah,
Speaker 1: don't like. So when I thought about it, I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm emotional and I'm intelligent, so I must have emotional intelligence.
Speaker 1: That's how it feels about it, Like I'm usually emotional
Speaker 1: and I'm extremely intelligent, so I just assume that I
Speaker 1: have emotional intelligence. But it's not that.
Speaker 3: No.
Speaker 2: So basically from what I read, it said like all
Speaker 2: people experience emotions, obviously, right, but it's only it's a
Speaker 2: black few of people who accurately identify them as they occur.
Speaker 2: So research shows that only thirty six percent of people
Speaker 2: actually have and practice emotional intelligence.
Speaker 1: You know what I feel like in the black community,
Speaker 1: what we do are I don't want to say what
Speaker 1: we do, Okay, I'm saying it. We just we use
Speaker 1: anger to express every emotion. We only use anger. I
Speaker 1: feel like there's especially black men. I don't feel like
Speaker 1: I think women are more emotionally intelligent than men.
Speaker 2: Are we though, because we're usually the ones that's gonna
Speaker 2: start yelling and that's not practicing emotional intelligence. Okay, So
Speaker 2: you should be able to articulate like how you feeling
Speaker 2: and convey it in a way to where to where
Speaker 2: the person can understand without you getting angry. So I
Speaker 2: can say, and we actually took a test, right, so
Speaker 2: where was your score on the test? Okay, so I
Speaker 2: scored a fifty six tammy ask but sometimes down the
Speaker 2: middle of the show.
Speaker 1: Sometimes sometimes I fuck with them sometimes I don't, you know,
Speaker 1: like I feel like everybody literally could go sometimes down
Speaker 1: the middle of all those questions.
Speaker 3: Right, I think men may.
Speaker 2: Okay, so I said, men practice emotional intelligence, right, but
Speaker 2: I think also it could be.
Speaker 3: Let me give an example.
Speaker 2: So I was in a relationship with a fucking narcissist, right,
Speaker 2: and he practiced emotional intelligence, but it was in a
Speaker 2: form of manipulation though, Like could you imagine somebody doing
Speaker 2: or saying something to get you to hunt? So now
Speaker 2: you up here cutting up, cussing, acting a fucking food
Speaker 2: and they like real calm, So now you feel stupid.
Speaker 2: That's so when they say practicing emotional intelligence is like
Speaker 2: you can articulate how you feel without getting angry. But
Speaker 2: just because I'm displaying my anger, you know.
Speaker 1: But isn't anger or emotion.
Speaker 3: It is an emotion.
Speaker 2: But what comes along with being angry cussing at somebody
Speaker 2: being very disrespectful.
Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: That's not healthy to have a healthy relationship with anybody
Speaker 2: in a workplace. You know, I've worked in a corporate
Speaker 2: setting where people cussed in corporate meetings.
Speaker 1: Well, let's keep it. Let's get real real. You and
Speaker 1: I when we disagree, we don't practice good emotional intellig
Speaker 1: hanging up on each other.
Speaker 3: I don't hang up.
Speaker 2: You do once because I hung out one time because
Speaker 2: I felt like I was tied of fucking talking and
Speaker 2: if I keep talking, it's like nothing's getting done.
Speaker 1: Okay, Well, so you hang up. I hang up.
Speaker 3: I do say bye first, So is that really hanging up?
Speaker 1: Yes, because the conversation, No, this has to be like
Speaker 1: bitch bye, that's not the same thing.
Speaker 3: Second, i'd be like, I'm hanging up now.
Speaker 1: I definitely say the last time we got into you
Speaker 1: was like, well you get out the phone, Then get
Speaker 1: out the phone. I said, I ain't going nowhere the.
Speaker 2: Phone for thirty more minutes before I finally hung up
Speaker 2: on y'all, ass because now we don't talk too fun.
Speaker 2: Listen to me and Tammy literally literally was in therapy. Now,
Speaker 2: I did hang up on the therapy session.
Speaker 1: So that's two. So that's why I hung up on
Speaker 1: a therapy session because it's like I didn't like the
Speaker 1: fucking therapist.
Speaker 2: It's like, this ship is not fucking working. We probably
Speaker 2: should have picked like a different therapist. We should not
Speaker 2: have picked somebody that you're using as your personal therapist
Speaker 2: because I'm asking like some basic shit to both Tam
Speaker 2: and the fucking therapist, and she's like giving these god
Speaker 2: damn white.
Speaker 1: People, uh technology textbook answers.
Speaker 2: Yes, I'm like, you know what, this ain't fucking working.
Speaker 2: You know, I'm tired of talking. Y'all have a good event.
Speaker 1: And you know what that brings up to a new conversation.
Speaker 1: When it comes to therapist, you have to find the
Speaker 1: right person for you, because I just felt like she
Speaker 1: was a nice woman as a therapist, but she just
Speaker 1: unpacked my shit and then left it sitting on this
Speaker 1: table next to me. You know, like it wasn't like
Speaker 1: any real healing that I was getting out of the therapy.
Speaker 3: You're not gonna get.
Speaker 2: I don't feel like you're gonna get As a black person,
Speaker 2: I don't feel like you wanna get actual healing from
Speaker 2: therapy with anybody doing some textbook textbook therapy type shit
Speaker 2: like black people need spiritual healing, right, we need a
Speaker 2: different type of therapy. So now these people get paid
Speaker 2: to be This is a doctor, right, So imagine if
Speaker 2: she wore to help heal everybody, she wouldn't have a job.
Speaker 2: So they have you unpack all this shit and leave
Speaker 2: it there so you can have some shit to unpack
Speaker 2: next week. It's at what point is there an ending
Speaker 2: to healing?
Speaker 1: It has to be when are you healed?
Speaker 3: Right? I think you're healed.
Speaker 1: When you are, I would go like, I literally would
Speaker 1: go into therapy like today is a beautiful day, and
Speaker 1: then I leave out their motherfucking.
Speaker 3: Life like how is good?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Next week?
Speaker 2: Yeah, it just and the healing comes when you're able
Speaker 2: to practice emotional intelligence, that's when the healing comes in.
Speaker 3: So what emotion is the strongest, so the.
Speaker 1: Stronger hold on?
Speaker 2: I don't even want to start there. Sorry, How do
Speaker 2: emotionally so this is one question. How do emotionally intelligent
Speaker 2: people communicate? It says emotional intelligence improve your assertiveness by
Speaker 2: allowing you to communicate effectively. By being aware of your emotions,
Speaker 2: and by having self control, you can communicate your thoughts clearly,
Speaker 2: with confidence. In turn, this will make you more assertive
Speaker 2: and confident without coming across as pushy or aggressive. I
Speaker 2: feel like as women, like if i'm if i'm I'm not.
Speaker 2: I don't want to say pushy, but if I'm assertive,
Speaker 2: I'm automatically called a bitch. But a man is called
Speaker 2: a boss for being assertive. So I feel like, even
Speaker 2: with that, women have to be black women. Anything we say,
Speaker 2: do you automatically why you got an attitude? I know
Speaker 2: the hotel the other night and I told a god like, listen, hey,
Speaker 2: I'm Russian, I really need my stuff now. Because I
Speaker 2: wanted to push my shit upstairs. I didn't want to
Speaker 2: wait for him. I was like, hey, are you gonna
Speaker 2: I said, I need my stuff now. You don't have
Speaker 2: to say it like that, And I literally waited on
Speaker 2: the other side of the door so I can make
Speaker 2: sure he knew I wasn't trying to be rude to him,
Speaker 2: because I wasn't. I'm never rude to anybody in service.
Speaker 2: But I think I don't know if the fuck he
Speaker 2: was dealing with at home, but he automatically nothing that
Speaker 2: I said to him had an attitude or nasty undertone,
Speaker 2: nothing but that you perceived it just.
Speaker 1: Like how we were saying. Coiler Ray might have been
Speaker 1: triggered just by that. He might have had bitches being
Speaker 1: nasty to him all day and instead one sentence was like,
Speaker 1: you know what, I'm sick of all.
Speaker 3: You don't gotta say it like that.
Speaker 2: And he had the nastiest attitude with me when he
Speaker 2: went and got my car back again, he was like,
Speaker 2: she ain't on tip anyway, bitch, I told you I
Speaker 2: have cash, like y'all ain't y'all get paid to be here.
Speaker 2: I'm confused, right, I can go get my own fucking car.
Speaker 1: You better get a q You better get a QR
Speaker 1: code necklace.
Speaker 2: That parking was fifty five dollars a day, bitch, you
Speaker 2: better get it from the damn hotewl was sixty two.
Speaker 1: Dollars a day.
Speaker 3: Oh that's I need to check.
Speaker 1: Yeah, sixty two.
Speaker 3: I paid for it.
Speaker 1: So the it's that part, you know, I feel like
Speaker 1: I get misunderstood oftentimes, like people are like your tone,
Speaker 1: your tone, your tone, and really and I don't be mean,
Speaker 1: and shit, really your tone right now, I feel like
Speaker 1: there's a hits of sarcasm there.
Speaker 2: Well, you know, because I feel like so Tammy always
Speaker 2: be addressed in my tone, right, because I can say
Speaker 2: the very same thing, it's just gonna be in a
Speaker 2: louder tone. And she could say the same thing in
Speaker 2: a regular tone, but for whatever reason in her mind,
Speaker 2: is less disrespectful. It's more disrespectful because I'm telling nigga, no, yes,
Speaker 2: they do. I feel like people address tone when they
Speaker 2: can't address the real shit you're actually saying.
Speaker 3: Now, he was like, why you say it like that?
Speaker 3: You ain't have to say it like that. I dress,
Speaker 3: what the fuck I'm saying, Let's move on.
Speaker 1: See that's the same thing the man was saying that, nigga.
Speaker 1: See see see you missing the man? You missing that point.
Speaker 3: I said it really nice. I looked up. I said,
Speaker 3: I really need to hard up and get dressed. I
Speaker 3: need my bags now.
Speaker 2: I didn't stay it mean to him, So fuck him.
Speaker 2: So what does poor emotional intelligence looks like? It says
Speaker 2: people with low UH emotional intelligence often struggle to understand
Speaker 2: and control their emotions. They might lash out relatively excuse me,
Speaker 2: They may lash out reactively without understanding what they are
Speaker 2: really feeling and why they are even upset. A person
Speaker 2: who lacks EQ might also have unexpected emotional emotional outbursts.
Speaker 3: That seem overblown and un good. I don't be just
Speaker 3: I don't get crunk for no reason.
Speaker 2: Oftentimes, Like if I feel like I'm about to be
Speaker 2: like that, I try to step away from the situation.
Speaker 1: Now if you push me, I don't think I get
Speaker 1: I have emotional outbursts. I probably like I'll get upset
Speaker 1: and I'll go there like we can go and we
Speaker 1: can scream at each other and yell and all that,
Speaker 1: but I ain't never gonna just like go crazy out
Speaker 1: of nowhere. You feel like, have you ever experienced that
Speaker 1: with me?
Speaker 3: No, I'm definitely not about to just get stupid for
Speaker 3: no reason.
Speaker 1: I feel like anytime that we argue, it starts here
Speaker 1: and it just gradually goes from zero to one hundred.
Speaker 1: But it is not like within moments.
Speaker 2: So what I do do, because I know that I'm
Speaker 2: trying to practice emotional intelligence, I do avoid. I just
Speaker 2: avoid for a while, which isn't healthy either, because it's
Speaker 2: things build up, right. So I do avoid conversations. I
Speaker 2: avoid the person because I just don't if I feel
Speaker 2: like I cannot.
Speaker 3: Articulate it well to whoever it is you know what
Speaker 3: I'm saying.
Speaker 2: I'm just gonna avoid it all together. But then that's
Speaker 2: not good because it ends up blowing.
Speaker 1: Up in the end. Yeah, I not me the next
Speaker 1: time I see bitch, come here as soon as I
Speaker 1: see you, because that's the first thing on my mind.
Speaker 1: It's the elephant in the room.
Speaker 3: I gotta talk about it.
Speaker 2: It just depends if it's something that can I don't know,
Speaker 2: it just depends because sometimes certain things, Bitch, I can't
Speaker 2: sleep at night if I don't let you know how
Speaker 2: I feel like and then if I didn't get to
Speaker 2: say the right things, bitch a double bad lass first
Speaker 2: thing in the morning.
Speaker 3: And as a matter of fact, let me add this
Speaker 3: right saying.
Speaker 1: But sometimes that's to a flaw for me, because sometimes
Speaker 1: it's okay to just let shit go. I don't have
Speaker 1: to address everything, right.
Speaker 2: It's okay not to say something sometimes. Iramandvice used to
Speaker 2: always tell my ex that, like, you know, it's okay
Speaker 2: not to say nothing.
Speaker 1: Like you don't have to address everything.
Speaker 2: But when I really start shutting the fuck up, I
Speaker 2: don't really care no more. As long as I'm like
Speaker 2: going ham, I'm always trying to work it out, always
Speaker 2: like I'm making I don't want to make a fight
Speaker 2: of it, but I'm like, hey.
Speaker 1: Come in, look see that toilet seat up on the
Speaker 1: fuck again? Why did I have to fall in the toilet?
Speaker 1: Not no more because my ask don got too wide.
Speaker 1: I don't fall in no more. I still sit on top.
Speaker 3: But there was a time my ass touching that stuff.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you don't wanted to touch that part of the toilet,
Speaker 1: but I ain't falling in no more.
Speaker 3: I don't think niggas understand that till they ass fall in.
Speaker 1: Right, Wait till your nuts hit that water.
Speaker 3: You got to touch the seat, touch.
Speaker 1: That bottom round I wanted to do. Niggas nuts be
Speaker 1: dropping in the water when they sit down.
Speaker 2: Yeah, like my ex used to, he was still lying
Speaker 2: the toilet teacher's like, of course he went to prison
Speaker 2: before it, but he was still lying.
Speaker 1: Of course.
Speaker 2: Show somebody was like, yeah, AJ like uh warm hood
Speaker 2: niggas like niggas a felonies a ship.
Speaker 3: First of all, I didn't say that. I did not
Speaker 3: say that.
Speaker 1: I'm like, why smart enough?
Speaker 3: Not exactly? First of all?
Speaker 2: Okay, or if you went you learn from it, and
Speaker 2: now like you done bossed up in a different way, right,
Speaker 2: but that nigga would line the toilet a toilet, he
Speaker 2: would probably be the only person using. He'd stole line
Speaker 2: it because he just like how the tissue felt. But
Speaker 2: he would put like a little, one little piece right there.
Speaker 1: You line the toilet at home.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like he would still line the toilet and he
Speaker 2: would have like the one piece right there in the
Speaker 2: middle to sen his dick on the ship was like,
Speaker 2: so neat dick right there.
Speaker 1: First of all, y'all rich, because toilet tissue is expensive,
Speaker 1: y'all wasting all that tissue.
Speaker 2: You know how niggas be buying one ply. They don't
Speaker 2: even buy a good tissue. But you got one ply
Speaker 2: at your goddamn house.
Speaker 3: That was gifted to me.
Speaker 1: During that time. I just sat you a box of
Speaker 1: free tissue. That's what was there.
Speaker 3: Fit ass tissue. Poke my finger in my butt?
Speaker 2: How do you make someone more emotionally intelligent? So I
Speaker 2: saw this, and I'm like, how do you mean I
Speaker 2: can't make you emotionally intelligent? Like, I'm really just going
Speaker 2: to distance myself and then let you figured the funk
Speaker 2: out and you can come talk to you when you
Speaker 2: get your mind right. Okay, So these are ten ways
Speaker 2: to increase your emotional intelligence. Utilize an assertive style of communicating. Okay,
Speaker 2: we talked about that, respond instead of reacting to conflict.
Speaker 3: So how the fuck do you respond?
Speaker 1: So here's what I try to do. I try to
Speaker 1: look at it as I'm not the issue isn't the person.
Speaker 1: The issue is the conversation, and we are attacking that together, right,
Speaker 1: not each other.
Speaker 2: The issue is the person. It's not like the person
Speaker 2: caused the issue. So how can you attack the issue.
Speaker 1: Without attacking the person?
Speaker 3: Well, let's take the word attack out.
Speaker 2: That's the only way, right, because anytime somebody here is
Speaker 2: attacked is just.
Speaker 3: Negative combat, right the issue, I guess.
Speaker 2: But if the person is the cause of the issue,
Speaker 2: it'll still feel like an attack.
Speaker 3: On them to them.
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying. So I know they teach
Speaker 2: you that. Teach you that in therapy. Right, when you're
Speaker 2: in a relationship with somebody.
Speaker 3: You're not the problem. We're going to attack the problem.
Speaker 2: Okay, But if the problem is you leaving a toilet
Speaker 2: seat up or some shit like that, or I don't
Speaker 2: like how you talk, so the problem is the toilet
Speaker 2: seat is up, and then the problem is how you
Speaker 2: talk to me, Yeah, how is that?
Speaker 3: You know?
Speaker 1: Like you're so, so the problem is the toilet seat
Speaker 1: being up, and the problem is also the way it
Speaker 1: was communicated.
Speaker 2: Right, Okay, So utilize active listening skills is what it says,
Speaker 2: so active listening, which I've learned also therapy is what
Speaker 2: do they call it?
Speaker 3: It's like reflective or something like that.
Speaker 2: So, like if we having a conversation, before I respond,
Speaker 2: I try to repeat what you said right and what
Speaker 2: I'm hearing, so to something like this, what I'm hearing
Speaker 2: you say, Tam is such and such and such and such,
Speaker 2: And then I ask you is that what you're saying
Speaker 2: and you say yes or no, and then I respond
Speaker 2: to it as opposed to assuming I understand what you
Speaker 2: said right, And then it also affirms to you that
Speaker 2: I'm actually listening.
Speaker 1: To what I'm saying. But that's so hard to do
Speaker 1: in a real conversation that has some passion involved and
Speaker 1: you're potentially upset or whatever it is. Oftentimes you don't
Speaker 1: even let the other person finish their complete thought before
Speaker 1: you're responding. I know I'm guilty of that. I'd be like, bitch,
Speaker 1: already know what you're about to say because you just
Speaker 1: said it three fucking times and you ain't get it yet,
Speaker 1: and I'm going to interject because you're not clearly not
Speaker 1: receiving what I'm trying to say. In response to that.
Speaker 2: I just feel like there cannot be communication without interjection,
Speaker 2: Like I hate that. And we go through this a
Speaker 2: lot of times when we're talking, and even with my
Speaker 2: damn mom, and we like the same person. When you're
Speaker 2: talking to somebody, there's no way I'm about to let
Speaker 2: you talk for three to five minutes without interjection. Is like,
Speaker 2: this is now a lecture. Now you're a lecturing me,
Speaker 2: and here I am another adult, Like I didn't sign
Speaker 2: up for a lecture. I didn't sign up for a
Speaker 2: conference to hear you do a fucking ted talk. We're
Speaker 2: having a conversation about something, so if we're conversing, I
Speaker 2: should be able to be able to interject, and it
Speaker 2: may be to correct something you may have said so
Speaker 2: you can have more clarity and maybe going a different
Speaker 2: direction on what you're saying. So this is why I
Speaker 2: think interjection is you have to have interjection and communication.
Speaker 1: Within reason.
Speaker 2: I can't remember what you said for full three minutes.
Speaker 2: I'm only remember the beginning and the end. I'm gonna
Speaker 2: miss everything else in between. So if you think that
Speaker 2: I'm supposed to sit here and let you talk for
Speaker 2: three to five.
Speaker 3: Minutes, and I've done it. Me and my homegirl we
Speaker 3: got into like.
Speaker 2: A little spat one day about nothing, and at one
Speaker 2: point I just didn't say nothing, and I let her
Speaker 2: talk for a very long time, and then I asked
Speaker 2: if she was finished. Now, I couldn't do the reflective
Speaker 2: shit because I don't remember you sat it in the middle.
Speaker 3: Dog. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: You said so many things that I did have I
Speaker 2: wanted to talk to a response to or whatever, and
Speaker 2: I couldn't just because this is for whatever, this is
Speaker 2: your style of communicating right now, That's not my style.
Speaker 2: I don't mind interjection, but what I do find is
Speaker 2: that people don't hear themselves. I hear myself talking over you.
Speaker 2: I hear myself interjecting. Do you hear when you do
Speaker 2: it to me?
Speaker 3: Oftentimes people don't, So it says, you know, you gotta
Speaker 3: practice self awareness.
Speaker 2: I think that's the biggest thing with emotional intelligence. You
Speaker 2: have to be self aware of who you are. And
Speaker 2: I am very, very self aware of who I am, so.
Speaker 3: It helps me.
Speaker 2: Because this is another reason why I thought about this
Speaker 2: the other day. I was telling you how I felt
Speaker 2: bad for not doing something for somebody else when I
Speaker 2: knew that they needed me, but they probably couldn't find
Speaker 2: the words to ask me.
Speaker 3: But I was tired of doing for other.
Speaker 1: Things they didn't fucking need. That's the thing you be thinking,
Speaker 1: motherfuckers need you. These is grown ass people. They'll figure
Speaker 1: it out.
Speaker 2: I know they'll figure it out. But if I can
Speaker 2: make if you're my friend, right, and if I can
Speaker 2: make whatever you got going on easier, I feel like
Speaker 2: I'm supposed to.
Speaker 1: Yeah. But here's the thing. You end up with resentment
Speaker 1: because you get you've overextended yourself. And I say I
Speaker 1: feel bad when I don't put myself first oftentimes, like damn,
Speaker 1: I keep doing this shit for people and I and
Speaker 1: now look at me neglecting myself, right.
Speaker 2: Bitch, because I ain't sleep till yesterday, and I probably
Speaker 2: didn't sleep prior to that till like Wednesday.
Speaker 3: Making sure I do other shit.
Speaker 1: And it'd be a little dumb as shit like giving
Speaker 1: people a ride home, girl, if you don't let them
Speaker 1: get an uber and get the fuck home bitch, I
Speaker 1: just knew my fucking uper wasn't coming till two am
Speaker 1: about this week, text me when you make it home safe, baby?
Speaker 2: Fucked up how it is, But it just depends on
Speaker 2: the situation though. It depends on where they at. You
Speaker 2: know what I'm saying, Like, can they even get home?
Speaker 3: You just even even if.
Speaker 2: They call an uber? It could take an hour? Okay girl, Okay,
Speaker 2: you like empathy for others?
Speaker 1: No, I have empathy for others, but that's just not
Speaker 1: an empathetic Oh you had to say you had to
Speaker 1: wait an hour? Okay, you'll survive that.
Speaker 3: Hmm. You know empathize? Are you here?
Speaker 1: Here's the thing? Are you homeless? Do you not have
Speaker 1: nowhere to go for the uber? Okay you can. You
Speaker 1: can crash with me until you get yourself together. If
Speaker 1: it's someone I really got to be dire, Yeah, but
Speaker 1: if you just go and have an extra are you late?
Speaker 1: You're gonna be you? Don't you get an hour less
Speaker 1: sleep tonight? That's on you, baby girl.
Speaker 3: So under there's ten ways to increase your emotional intelligence.
Speaker 3: Theres take critique. Well do you feel like you take critique? Well?
Speaker 2: M M, neither do I Especially if I feel like
Speaker 2: I'm doing some ship right and here you come with
Speaker 2: some bullshit.
Speaker 1: I'm I think I take criticism, criticism way better than you,
Speaker 1: though you'd be like, what bitch, Yeah, real quick. I'm
Speaker 1: more open to criticism, like I can't. I'll receive that
Speaker 1: with a grain of salt, but I'll receive it.
Speaker 3: I think I don't take critique.
Speaker 2: Well, sometimes when I know that I've given somebody a
Speaker 2: lot of grace, and when it's time for me to
Speaker 2: get grace, I don't get.
Speaker 1: Any Well, here's the thing. Stop giving grace that you
Speaker 1: want receive that everybody you can't expect to give grace.
Speaker 1: Yeah they should, but they don't.
Speaker 2: Right, So when I snap on your ass, that's when
Speaker 2: it's gonna teach you for the next time. No, it's
Speaker 2: not all he's gonna learn today. That's not gonna teach anything.
Speaker 2: All it's gonna do is cause more conflict. Like, don't
Speaker 2: give the grace if you feel like you're not gonna receive.
Speaker 3: No, that's the problem.
Speaker 2: People don't give each other enough grace. So now if
Speaker 2: you can't recognize where you've received grace when you weren't
Speaker 2: being the best, and now you think that because you're
Speaker 2: good now, right, you can't extend grace.
Speaker 3: That's a problem.
Speaker 1: But sometimes criticism isn't about grace. It's just about whatever
Speaker 1: the task is. It's not even about like, you know,
Speaker 1: not understanding your perspective or your point of view. It's
Speaker 1: just about whatever is at hand. And typically that's where
Speaker 1: criticism comes from. It's like what are we what it
Speaker 1: needs to be done? Or what how can this be better?
Speaker 1: And it's not about like grace and you know, no, I.
Speaker 2: Think they're gonna hand in hand kind of it just
Speaker 2: does to me. So what's considered high emotion intelligence. It
Speaker 2: says that those who have high EQ and highly in
Speaker 2: tune with their with both their own emotions and other
Speaker 2: people's emotions around them. So that's when you very emotion
Speaker 2: emotional intelligence. They can recognize and understand the various feelings
Speaker 2: that sweep them through. Excuse me, they can they can
Speaker 2: recognize and understand the various feelings that sweep through them
Speaker 2: and are able to appropriately appropriately manage them. M So
Speaker 2: feeling your emotions, dealing with them, sitting in them, and
Speaker 2: then being able to you know, handle whatever the situation.
Speaker 1: Is without without drugs and alcohol too, because I think
Speaker 1: that's a lot of ways people use to code with
Speaker 1: whatever they are feeling. Like you know how I just
Speaker 1: said when I left the therapy, I like roll of joy,
Speaker 1: right yeah, or like after funerals everybody get drunk, you know.
Speaker 2: Like, but maybe I think that weed is a part
Speaker 2: I know for black people.
Speaker 3: Like that's why it was made it legal in America
Speaker 3: because that is one of our medicines.
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying. When they came to this land,
Speaker 2: we probably was already this is our ship. This is
Speaker 2: one of our medicines. Right, so they make it legal
Speaker 2: until it benefits them. Now it's legal, is okay for
Speaker 2: you to do, right, But I believe that black people
Speaker 2: this is our shit, Like we know that from Jamaicans,
Speaker 2: Like weed is like our medication.
Speaker 1: Can't fuck with them edibles though, yeah.
Speaker 2: Because you don't know how much season each piece, Like
Speaker 2: you can't tell me it's just one gram in this one?
Speaker 1: Is that anything?
Speaker 3: The problem believingly distributed?
Speaker 1: It just don't have ourself. You smoke some weed, you high, right, right?
Speaker 1: But man, I found myself walking around Target. I was like,
Speaker 1: oh shit, I forgot I ate that animal about an
Speaker 1: hour ago, bab I was about to be sitting on
Speaker 1: the floor India stylad Target trying to make it and
Speaker 1: that shit.
Speaker 2: Is different when you overdose on weed, because being drunk
Speaker 2: and being too high on weed is two different things. Bitch,
Speaker 2: I tried to drive home, whynot out a whole and
Speaker 2: I had taken a whole gummy before, But like I said,
Speaker 2: it's not evenly distributed, so you really don't know how
Speaker 2: much you're taking in this one particular dose. Bitch, I
Speaker 2: don't know how I got home.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 3: That's why my eyes was closed the whole time.
Speaker 1: So no, this guy had the beverage, right, So I
Speaker 1: don't understand. You have a beverage the size of a
Speaker 1: drink that you would have as a meal, right with
Speaker 1: your meal. But you're only supposed to take a cap full, right,
Speaker 1: just drink a cap of it. And it's like, what's
Speaker 1: the point of having it as a beverage if I
Speaker 1: can't drink the whole beverage. It should be like distributed
Speaker 1: through the beverage as the drink, right right. I did
Speaker 1: not know it, so I dranked the whole bottle with
Speaker 1: my lunch. Let me tell you, I was sitting there,
Speaker 1: I could not go back to work. First of all,
Speaker 1: I was on the floor crying, freestyling the instrumental beats,
Speaker 1: ass naked, never again, never again. So I don't fuck
Speaker 1: with that. Just a little joy and to ease my
Speaker 1: mind shame.
Speaker 3: So this is These are the seven signs of emotional intelligence.
Speaker 3: It says that your self aware.
Speaker 2: When we went over that, people with high emotional intelligence
Speaker 2: have a strong sense of self, They're empathetic, they are
Speaker 2: present and focused, they have strong interpersonal skills, and their
Speaker 2: self motivated. Okay, that's somebody who does practice or the
Speaker 2: seven signs of being emotionally intelligence.
Speaker 1: I feel like I have a decent emotional intelligence. It's
Speaker 1: not perfect by any measure, but it's pretty decent. Because
Speaker 1: self aware doesn't necessarily mean just knowing what you're good at,
Speaker 1: is also being able to identify where you're weak, you know.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know. I don't know all.
Speaker 2: I should just go back to being self aware and
Speaker 2: just fucking breathing sometimes thinking through your emotions, feeling through
Speaker 2: and I don't know.
Speaker 3: I feel like maybe it's a little bit about it
Speaker 3: meaning fake what it's a little bit.
Speaker 1: I think it's the opposite of being fake don't where is.
Speaker 3: But maybe this is who I am?
Speaker 4: Fake, no bitch, Like, maybe maybe how I display my
Speaker 4: feelings is just who I am.
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying. So if I might yell
Speaker 2: a little bit, that's just who I am.
Speaker 1: No, that's a cop out.
Speaker 3: Is a cop out? No.
Speaker 1: I hate when a nigga be like, that's just who
Speaker 1: I am. A cheater, No, you don't get to do that.
Speaker 3: You don't lie. He might just be a cheater. You
Speaker 3: can't make him not do that.
Speaker 1: That's who But that's not okay though. This is what
Speaker 1: this is about. It's like being a better version of
Speaker 1: yourself and not just accepting your flaws and saying that's
Speaker 1: just who I am, but like working on the things
Speaker 1: and making it better.
Speaker 2: That sounds like a person who's self aware if he
Speaker 2: could say that's just who I am. Now it's up
Speaker 2: to you to decide if that's what you want to
Speaker 2: deal with. That's like what Ayanya. Remember there's a there's
Speaker 2: an Instagram post of her like one of her episodes.
Speaker 2: She was telling this a woman she said, you know
Speaker 2: when she she had to learn that it wasn't for
Speaker 2: her to teach people how to love her because I've
Speaker 2: always been a firm believer in alle You gotta teach
Speaker 2: people how to treat you, or they will just treat
Speaker 2: you how to last bitch, allow them to write, But no,
Speaker 2: You're supposed to experience how that person loves right and
Speaker 2: decide whether or not you want that love. If that
Speaker 2: love isn't good enough for you, right, get the fuck
Speaker 2: going through? You can't really, especially when people get up
Speaker 2: a certain age.
Speaker 1: I don't know, because I think a lot of these
Speaker 1: men don't know how to love until you give them
Speaker 1: some training.
Speaker 2: I think everybody knows how to is it? Are you
Speaker 2: the person I want to do it for? And that's
Speaker 2: why I don't like to spend the block shit like
Speaker 2: with Nelly and and Ashanti, because I almost feel like
Speaker 2: the only way men learn oftentimes.
Speaker 3: Is through pain.
Speaker 2: So if I leave you because you weren't doing these
Speaker 2: things I kept asking you to do, right, if I stay,
Speaker 2: he's never gonna change for me. But he won't change
Speaker 2: for the next woman because it's the pain he experienced
Speaker 2: from when I left that ass that'll make him change
Speaker 2: for the next woman. That's why I'll never mind giving
Speaker 2: a bit of a furbish nigga like.
Speaker 3: Here, girl, he about to be real good for you.
Speaker 2: He would not do these things for me, and he
Speaker 2: gonna do it for the next woman effort.
Speaker 3: He might come and do.
Speaker 1: The same shit. He might come come back around and
Speaker 1: do the same shit. You don't.
Speaker 3: He might not. I feel like that's how they learn.
Speaker 3: Men learn through hurt.
Speaker 1: But you know, I think it's also a growth and
Speaker 1: learning period that happens when you get older. Like with
Speaker 1: Ashanti Nelly, he's an older man than he was twenty
Speaker 1: years ago. I'm sure he's grown in so many ways,
Speaker 1: you know, both of them. Because we ain't gonna just
Speaker 1: put it on it. They know what happened.
Speaker 3: That was like ten years ago. They broke up, right,
Speaker 3: so you think that.
Speaker 2: I think he just see her being fucking fine, living
Speaker 2: our best life, looking so good.
Speaker 3: Okay.
Speaker 2: And now, sometimes niggas spend the block just to disturb
Speaker 2: your peace.
Speaker 1: Dog.
Speaker 2: Sometimes they come through just to funck shuit up and
Speaker 2: see if they can.
Speaker 1: But I don't think this is the case. They look
Speaker 1: good together.
Speaker 3: We'll see, we.
Speaker 1: Will pard to them. I want them to do well, y'all.
Speaker 2: Listen, We're gonna take a break right quick, and when
Speaker 2: we come back, I want to get into a little
Speaker 2: quick dumbitch story from this weekend the show We'll be back.
Speaker 3: Dumb bitch story.
Speaker 1: So, because we've all been a dumb bitch at least
Speaker 1: once or twice.
Speaker 2: Y'all be back from break and I want to talk
Speaker 2: about we had one dumb what we did do? We
Speaker 2: asked the audience this weekend for a dumb bitch story, right,
Speaker 2: So we did have a couple one. I didn't really
Speaker 2: get to answer the girl's question. But so the first
Speaker 2: dumb bitch story we know that was actually the second one.
Speaker 2: So the second dumbitch story we had this girl she
Speaker 2: said she was dating this guy for a long time,
Speaker 2: didn't know he was married, and her question was, rather
Speaker 2: or not she should tell his husband tell the wife, right,
Speaker 2: and if you don't know about the other woman, like
Speaker 2: if you didn't, if he just straight up lied, there
Speaker 2: was no inkling that he could have possibly been in
Speaker 2: a relationship with somebody else, maybe tell me personally. I'm
Speaker 2: never telling nobody else. I'm like, let y'all deal with
Speaker 2: that shit. But if he just if you knew about
Speaker 2: the woman, then you don't tell. You don't fucking tell
Speaker 2: and play your part. That's something that's what black shit like.
Speaker 1: If you even if you didn't know at first, and
Speaker 1: then you found out and stay for a little while,
Speaker 1: you still don't tell because you were complicit in it
Speaker 1: for amount of time. Don't tell if you didn't know
Speaker 1: and he was just a complete liar and you found
Speaker 1: out like some kind of way, right, you found out?
Speaker 1: I personally wouldn't tell.
Speaker 3: But the homegirl said she found out for her on Facebook.
Speaker 1: I personally wouldn't tell, just because I just don't even
Speaker 1: have the time to disrupt another black woman life in
Speaker 1: that way.
Speaker 2: We either bitch of call while you were at work
Speaker 2: stressing out with some white people. Shit, and now you
Speaker 2: fucking my day up because he ain't dropped, dick off,
Speaker 2: like I feel some type of way about that. You
Speaker 2: mad with my man, our man, you're mad with our man. Right,
Speaker 2: he ain't do what he was supposed to do, and
Speaker 2: now you wanna fuck my day up? And I feel
Speaker 2: like they were being disingenuous. I'm gonna tell you why
Speaker 2: if you are happy with somebody, why are y'all searching
Speaker 2: for something? Why would y'all how would you have found
Speaker 2: that on Facebook if you weren't searching for it? So
Speaker 2: what made your homegirl search some shit for you? If
Speaker 2: you really didn't know he was he was married, was
Speaker 2: he absent a lot? Those are all signs like maybe
Speaker 2: he didn't verbally tell you he was in a relationship
Speaker 2: with somebody else, but he missed some holler, he missed
Speaker 2: him exactly birthdays Valentine's Like, we always have nice good cues.
Speaker 1: You know what I was. I was dating a guy.
Speaker 1: Well we never we never took it to sex, and
Speaker 1: it was just my body telling me, like something right
Speaker 1: about this one, slow down, take your time. But he
Speaker 1: was so nice. He was doing all the things and
Speaker 1: saying all the right things and very very fine. Right,
Speaker 1: this was a good looking man, and my pussy was
Speaker 1: like thumping, like ooh, I want to give him some
Speaker 1: but I didn't, right, baby, all right? So I didn't
Speaker 1: go to his house because his house was being renovated
Speaker 1: in soul or something. And then he had a son,
Speaker 1: a living child, So I didn't want to go there
Speaker 1: because I don't want to meet the kid yet, because
Speaker 1: we are not there, right, I'm not trying to meet
Speaker 1: your kids too soon.
Speaker 3: Did he invite you to meet his kid?
Speaker 1: No? No, no, But he he didn't invite me to
Speaker 1: his house for that reason because we're both not ready
Speaker 1: for that. But I, you know, something said, it's something
Speaker 1: weird about this. So we had a mutual Facebook friend
Speaker 1: who I'm real cool with, and I went to her
Speaker 1: and I was like, what's what's up with old boy?
Speaker 1: She was like, girl, he is very married. But we'd
Speaker 1: be on the phone all night, facetiming in the middle
Speaker 1: of the night and I'm like, if he's amazing, if
Speaker 1: he's married, there's nowhere where's his wife? While we facetiming
Speaker 1: at two in the morning, laying in the bed, falling
Speaker 1: asleep on the phone. Baby, This woman was a whole
Speaker 1: traveling nurse and she was out like working in California somewhere.
Speaker 1: It made a whole lion and I was like, what
Speaker 1: was your And listen, he had like he had started
Speaker 1: falling back a little bit prior to that, just to
Speaker 1: come home. So and I guess he because he ain't
Speaker 1: hit it yet. I was like being very tight with
Speaker 1: a koochie or whatever, because I guess that was the
Speaker 1: plan that hit it by his businesspresentative. So I hit
Speaker 1: him up and I was like, yo, you you were married,
Speaker 1: Like what was your intentions, and I had told him, like,
Speaker 1: I meet so many men with bad intentions and it's
Speaker 1: just nice to meet someone who was genuine and good.
Speaker 1: And after that, he said, after you said that to me,
Speaker 1: it made me feel so bad and I ain't want
Speaker 1: to do you like that.
Speaker 3: Oh, so he was gonna fuck and just slither.
Speaker 1: That was just playing. Then It's so funny because there's
Speaker 1: a woman. We're all in this Facebook group. And then
Speaker 1: woman messaged me and she always be in my DM
Speaker 1: saying wild shit to me because I be on here
Speaker 1: playing gay and shit, she'd be saying so wild shit
Speaker 1: to me. And she is very beautiful woman, right, very
Speaker 1: pretty woman. And she said him and her was betting
Speaker 1: to see who could fuck me first.
Speaker 3: Yo, what is that crazy?
Speaker 1: Like, I'm getting out of this group. This place is
Speaker 1: not a safe place. Why is a married man in
Speaker 1: a group like that? What type of shit is this?
Speaker 3: Man? I'm beating my husband the fuck up you? Right?
Speaker 3: So I don't know where.
Speaker 1: That story was going. I just felt like I needed
Speaker 1: to share that that was in my spirit, that these
Speaker 1: men will be lying to you and acting like they's
Speaker 1: something that they're not.
Speaker 3: Man, you gotta have discernment.
Speaker 2: You gotta have discernment, and I feel like we could
Speaker 2: get the signs all the time we ignore them.
Speaker 1: But even after finding that out, there was no uh,
Speaker 1: there was no way I was gonna call his message
Speaker 1: his wife and tell her he was.
Speaker 3: I'm never doing that ship.
Speaker 2: That's why I said, like, bitch, you can come to
Speaker 2: me as a woman if you want, I'm coming as
Speaker 2: a sniper, because bitches be knowing maybe knowing so.
Speaker 1: But see, let's say I had went to her and
Speaker 1: told her what was going, she would assume that I
Speaker 1: was lying.
Speaker 2: Right, And that's another reason why I don't even if
Speaker 2: I see you a man, if you my best friend,
Speaker 2: like maybe, but even friends, like if I see your
Speaker 2: nigga doing some little slick ship, I'm mind my business.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. Oh no, I'm telling if it's my business.
Speaker 1: First of all, if it's my best friend, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: like it's my.
Speaker 3: Best different having fun, No, that's different.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna fight this nigga like it's my man. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I swear to guy, he will beat your ass. Because
Speaker 1: that's how I'm talking about my best friends.
Speaker 2: Yeah, a best friend, yes, but like just friends acquaintances.
Speaker 2: I ain't telling nobody shoul it because I've seen women flip.
Speaker 2: They'll flip on your ass like you the problem I know.
Speaker 1: And then now you're not invited to the cookout. I've
Speaker 1: had that happen lead them people.
Speaker 3: She knew who she fucked with. That's one thing about it.
Speaker 3: We be knowing.
Speaker 2: So stop back like you ain't knowing and hitting that
Speaker 2: man wife up. Don't hit that man wife up about shit,
Speaker 2: y'all practicing some emotional intelligence, right, all right, y'all listen.
Speaker 2: So if you enjoyed this episode, please tune in every
Speaker 2: Thursday on the iHeartRadio app wherever the fuck you get
Speaker 2: your podcast at this your co host aj Holiday, y'all
Speaker 2: follow me on Instagram, check out we talked back eant
Speaker 2: dot com. We got some merchandise on there. Now it's alow,
Speaker 2: tiny bit, but some shit up there. We got our
Speaker 2: consultations too, So listen. You can schedule a call to
Speaker 2: speak with both of us, one of us, whatever it is.
Speaker 2: Schedule it through the do the website for whenever we
Speaker 2: are there. Over to be there on the calendar and
Speaker 2: had us up.
Speaker 1: You know, I would like to publicly apologize to you
Speaker 1: so at the live show at the end. Oh you
Speaker 1: saw the video, yeah, video, and I saw your face
Speaker 1: and you're like, the twit are you doing?
Speaker 3: That's emotional intelligence.
Speaker 1: So I apologize to you because I wasn't trying to
Speaker 1: like it was just a adrenaline pumping and I just went.
Speaker 3: You was in your element. It's fine.
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, so you god damn.
Speaker 3: I'm a j y'all. Thank you for coming.
Speaker 1: That's bad. That was our first show.
Speaker 2: So, like you know, I can't wait to do this
Speaker 2: ship though, I'm excited. I cannot wait to have our
Speaker 2: own live shows going, y'all. It's coming this year. Yeah,
Speaker 2: ship next month, we're gonna pull up. We might as
Speaker 2: well just throw one in Atlanta, throw.
Speaker 1: In Charlotte, yeah yep, and maybe go ahead to Miami.
Speaker 1: What they're talking about, Houston.
Speaker 3: Houston, Atlanta, Vegas. We all here, all.
Speaker 1: Right, y'all. I'm tam Bama. I love y'all. Remember to
Speaker 1: speak now
Speaker 3: And never hold your peace, deuces