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Speaker 1: Talk's talk talk to We're just two unapologetically black women

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Speaker 1: with an opinion to talk.

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Speaker 2: What's up, y'all, Welcome to a new episode that we

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Speaker 2: talked Back and show dedicated to you niggas in these holes.

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Speaker 3: It's your co host AJ Holiday. What's up, Tam, Hey.

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Speaker 1: Girl, Hey y'all, it's me Tam Vam. I love y'all.

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Speaker 1: Once again, thank y'all for tuning in.

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Speaker 3: What's up? Girl?

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Speaker 1: Oh, it was a great weekend with the night so

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Speaker 1: I feel like a celebrity.

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Speaker 3: Hello, tiny bit girl.

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Speaker 2: Okay, I know this is we talk back, but when

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Speaker 2: I tell you, I'm tired of fucking talking, relean it. Yes,

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Speaker 2: I don't wanna talk to everybody this weekend, y'all everybody,

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Speaker 2: but I enjoyed it.

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Speaker 3: I did feel like a super celebrity, let's be clear.

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Speaker 1: So we had the Black Effect Podcast Festival, the very

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Speaker 1: first one, and it was lit and it was our

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Speaker 1: first live show, so I was nervous. I was all nervous, Like,

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Speaker 1: what about did you feel like a whole bunch of adrenaline?

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Speaker 2: Yes, I felt like my panties were showing. I have

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Speaker 2: not known, but I felt like they were showing.

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Speaker 1: I felt like I had boggers.

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Speaker 3: I felt like I had the fart. All type of

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Speaker 3: shit was happening.

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Speaker 1: You know what, Like I didn't eat just so I

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Speaker 1: wouldn't have to use the bathroom. I didn't eat, eat anything.

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Speaker 1: And when we did stupid internet news, my head, like

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Speaker 1: my thoughts went blank.

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Speaker 2: Mine too, because I didn't know what to say about

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Speaker 2: Diddy and Karsha asked either way.

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Speaker 1: It was a good time and I had fun and

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Speaker 1: I enjoyed myself and I can't wait to do it.

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Speaker 1: We're gonna set up our tour, yes, so y'all stay

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Speaker 1: tuned for that.

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Speaker 2: That's what I'm looking forward to the most, so we

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Speaker 2: can have all the creative patrol over all shit and

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Speaker 2: it's gonna be lit. I definitely want to bring the

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Speaker 2: drummer out so you can have a.

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Speaker 1: Bigger opportunity, yeah, to showcase his talent, because they really

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Speaker 1: didn't get the feel full feel of that drummer man,

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Speaker 1: because it's like go go, you know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 2: It Lit puts the baby show the niggas, which you

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Speaker 2: ain't scared of him.

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Speaker 1: Let's get into stupid internet news. Okay, So what I

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Speaker 1: found Lotto has a song and she speaks on Coyler

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Speaker 1: Ray and she says smoking gas and a big blunt

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Speaker 1: like Coiler Ray. And I don't think she meant it

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Speaker 1: as a disc but uh. On the shade room, Coiler

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Speaker 1: Ray responded to Lotto and was like, Lotto, by here

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Speaker 1: you go talking about my body. Please do not come

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Speaker 1: on here and talk about nobody's body. Lol. Like seriously,

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Speaker 1: out of all things, left my ass off. Your blunts,

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Speaker 1: you'll blunt my size, left my ass off. This ship

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Speaker 1: is never ending. And that's what Coiler Ray said.

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Speaker 2: I think her response was she was like, uh, I

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Speaker 2: feel I feel like maybe it was a little bit

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Speaker 2: of insecurity on her part because I don't think it

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Speaker 2: was that serious what Lotto said. So I feel like,

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Speaker 2: you know, she is slim thick, and which is coming

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Speaker 2: to not slim? Well, is she slim thick?

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Speaker 1: She's slim.

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Speaker 3: I think she got a little booty though, don't she

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Speaker 3: she slim? She got a little booty.

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Speaker 2: I thought that's what Lotto meant by the lyric.

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Speaker 1: I thought she meant like she rolling a blunt. You

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Speaker 1: know that's so fat. It's the sas a human slim person.

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Speaker 1: That's what I thought she meant, like it's dad big.

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Speaker 1: You know, she putting all the gas in there.

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Speaker 3: You know, I just don't think it was shade and

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Speaker 3: she might have overreach. And then she came back shit

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Speaker 3: to the Twitter.

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Speaker 1: So she came back and said, maybe I overreacted. End

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Speaker 1: of the day. Don't say my name for clicks and likes,

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Speaker 1: especially if we don't speak or communicate. I'm not a

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Speaker 1: big blunt, small blunt. Don't compare me to not I'm

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Speaker 1: minching bitches. You actually beef with put it on the floor,

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Speaker 1: but leave me out of the bullshit.

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Speaker 3: That's not a beef though.

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Speaker 2: That was not a beef, Larry, that was not She

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Speaker 2: didn't take a shot at her anything.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. So during Coachella, Lotto came back and said, oh,

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Speaker 1: coil Away, by the way, I love your body, baby,

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Speaker 1: Like she was just like ended it, like I don't

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Speaker 1: want to smoke. But in Coiler rays defence, she gets,

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Speaker 1: you know, scrutinized for her body type and celebrating her

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Speaker 1: body the way that she does. So she probably was

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Speaker 1: just triggered just the mintion of her body was like,

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Speaker 1: don't say nothing by my body. God damn it, I'm

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Speaker 1: tired of y'all talking about my body.

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Speaker 2: I definitely don't think that one offul Pairs would come

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Speaker 2: in her like that out of nowhere.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but you know how rap beef is, and it's

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Speaker 1: like entertaining them to create create beef where there is none.

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Speaker 2: So if that's the case, then they should just leave

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Speaker 2: it at that. Then it's just some rap shit like

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Speaker 2: she created the beef. As far as I'm concerned, Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 2: I don't think a lot of creator.

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Speaker 1: But I feel like Lot don't be having beef with everybody.

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Speaker 1: Seemed like every week we look at lotn't having to

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Speaker 1: argue about something with somebody.

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Speaker 3: I don't know.

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Speaker 2: I can understand the argument with her Nicki Minaj, because

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Speaker 2: Nicki Minaj dou you know, act like somebody supposed to

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Speaker 2: kiss her eyes. And that's another thing Lotto said at Coachella,

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Speaker 2: Like what She's basically like, I'm not kissing nobody fucking eyes.

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Speaker 1: I'm not mad at that. Stay in your ground. I

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Speaker 1: love you some Nick Minaj too, though, So I love

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Speaker 1: I pretty much love all these ladies. They're all like strong,

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Speaker 1: powerful rappers and they got good music.

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Speaker 2: So I'm here from none of them rap better than

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Speaker 2: nick Minaj, So let's be clear.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, no, no, I will go that far. But they

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Speaker 1: all make good music.

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Speaker 2: Uh so apparently now and a shanty are a thing again.

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Speaker 2: I don't know how true it is, but they did perform.

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Speaker 2: They had are performance recently together, and I was laying

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Speaker 2: in my homegirl bed and I was like, shant she

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Speaker 2: didn't leave Nelly alone cause she looked like she's getting

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Speaker 2: a way already.

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Speaker 3: Get that relationship on your She does.

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Speaker 2: But she had like some little hot pass you know,

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Speaker 2: she got them granny ankles like, she got them nice thick,

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Speaker 2: pretty legs, right, but she only had the biggest booty

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Speaker 2: and she had these little pants on.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, oh shit, you look at your body.

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Speaker 3: Sham bitch, I got the same shit going on. That's

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Speaker 3: not a body shaming. They look I like them.

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Speaker 2: I can tell she in a relationship that based on

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Speaker 2: her body right now, I can tell she's in a relation.

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Speaker 1: I like them together. They look cute together. They always did.

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Speaker 1: I like them back in two thousand early two thousands

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Speaker 1: when they were together. I didn't want them to split.

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Speaker 1: So seeing them performing together is like nostalgic and it's cool.

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Speaker 1: I'm here for it.

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Speaker 2: So do you do you think she stayed single all

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Speaker 2: that time. Well, we don't know if she was single

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Speaker 2: or not. She wasn't publicly with anybody else since Nelly

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Speaker 2: didn't she date floor Rider At some.

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Speaker 3: Point they were saying she was dating floor Rider.

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Speaker 2: But anyway, I don't know if I want her with Nelly.

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Speaker 2: I want her to get somebody else.

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Speaker 1: Why do it? No?

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Speaker 2: Didn't did he not just have some situation going on

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Speaker 2: like maybe last year year before, a little court case

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Speaker 2: where he might have assaulted a woman on the tour bus.

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Speaker 1: I don't know nothing about that.

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Speaker 3: I do, y'all remember that. I remember it.

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Speaker 1: So he's not worthy of love because of that.

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Speaker 2: Not as a grown man. No, she happens, No sit

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Speaker 2: does not happen. You have to have self control.

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Speaker 1: I agree you need self control. And I think Nelly,

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Speaker 1: I just I just think Nelly is a good guy overall.

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Speaker 3: How do you feel about niggaspinning the block though?

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Speaker 1: Like?

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Speaker 3: Why did he? Why did you not?

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Speaker 1: Like maybe they had some growing to do everybody involved.

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Speaker 2: So bow Wall said he needs to come with a

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Speaker 2: ring this time, which I agree with, Like if you're

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Speaker 2: going to spend the block and we had this big

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Speaker 2: ass age, like at what point, I don't need a

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Speaker 2: boyfriend at my forties in my forties, but why is

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Speaker 2: bow wow?

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Speaker 1: The messengers though.

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Speaker 3: Wasn't he just on ball and alert? Talk about he

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Speaker 3: ain't getting married?

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Speaker 2: Right, he's been engaged twice, and it was like, whatever,

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Speaker 2: he ain't trying to get married.

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Speaker 1: And now give him marriage advice. That's funny.

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Speaker 3: My business boy, boy, grown boy.

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Speaker 1: That's a grown man. But okay, well, I'm here for it.

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Speaker 1: I hope they do like a Vegas residency like Usher

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Speaker 1: with Nellie and a shanty all they hit, I would

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Speaker 1: go see.

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Speaker 3: I'll be there me too. All right.

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Speaker 1: So last thing I needed to talk about and I

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Speaker 1: gotta talk about it Snowfall finale. Oh my god. All right,

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Speaker 1: so listen, if y'all haven't seen it, y'all need to

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Speaker 1: go ahead and just fast forward right now because we

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Speaker 1: about to get into that real quick, frank like. All right.

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Speaker 1: So at the last season, I hated that Nigga I

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Speaker 1: ain't gonna lie. It was not root for him. He

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Speaker 1: turned dark right to me. He just wasn't the character

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Speaker 1: that we started with. So I felt like in the

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Speaker 1: end he got the karma that he had coming, right,

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Speaker 1: But it just seemed like a little far fetched to me, like,

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Speaker 1: I know, like, because I know some niggas who are

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Speaker 1: alcoholics now that they be like man, when he was young,

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Speaker 1: he was the man, right, but not a seventy three

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Speaker 1: million dollar nigga.

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Speaker 3: You know, had seventy three million dollars.

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Speaker 1: He got it stolen from him. He got to take

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Speaker 1: it from him, and I guess he lost his mind.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I couldn't understand the mental language because you have

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Speaker 2: to build wealth. Now he builds some wealth up the same,

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Speaker 2: but just million. If somebody could just take that shit

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Speaker 2: in the day.

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Speaker 1: But I just feel like if he was able to

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Speaker 1: build it once, he should have been able to even

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Speaker 1: build maybe half an hour.

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Speaker 2: I have to be mentally stable to do that. Like

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Speaker 2: imagine boy, him looking so bad.

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Speaker 1: I'm talking about real bad, dirty as fuck, red ring

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Speaker 1: around his eye, and this nigga had all this money

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Speaker 1: and he leon gave him a dub to get some

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Speaker 1: drink and he was like.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, Andrew Jackson A.

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Speaker 1: I was like, that's why he looked like like he

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Speaker 1: straight looked very cracky. He was living in his mom's

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Speaker 1: old house and it was just dilapidated and just all

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Speaker 1: messed up, and it was just so sad.

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Speaker 2: I see him go out like that, So I don't

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Speaker 2: know I watched the first I don't know. I might've

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Speaker 2: watched the first season, and that was just recently, like

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Speaker 2: maybe last August.

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Speaker 3: I started trying to watch it. When did we have

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Speaker 3: What's the Auntie on there? Oh?

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Speaker 2: We had Louis on? Yeah, when we had Louis on.

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Speaker 2: I started trying to watch Snowfall and fell off again.

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Speaker 1: I didn't like how Louis went out either, but I

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Speaker 1: guess that was her karma too, for becoming like so

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Speaker 1: what happened to her? Louis was in a barn hiding

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Speaker 1: from like a federal agents who were hunting her. And

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Speaker 1: she was like working at this like stable somewhere, working

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Speaker 1: for people, and she was hiding cause they were trying

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Speaker 1: to find her. And I guess the people who owned

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Speaker 1: the stable protected her and said they hadn't seen her,

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Speaker 1: like she had ran off and she was just in there, like,

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Speaker 1: thank thanking God that they helped her.

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Speaker 3: So she never went to prison or anything.

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Speaker 1: No, she's still running. Oh damn in a barn, bitch,

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Speaker 1: just hiding in the barn. So yeah, she's running. She

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Speaker 1: on the run. Uh, everybody like the Leon he was

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Speaker 1: the one who was surprised everybody. You know, I think

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Speaker 1: when he killed that kid, it just and what's the

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Speaker 1: guy I can't remember the dude's name, Scully, Scully, you know,

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Speaker 1: forgave him, It vindicated him, and he just changed his

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Speaker 1: whole soul and spirit and he ended up being the

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Speaker 1: one who was successful in the end.

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Speaker 3: So what was he doing. Was he selling dope or

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Speaker 3: you get no?

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Speaker 1: He yeah, he was a businessman and he had started

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Speaker 1: some type of foundation to like help people in the community.

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Speaker 1: I can't remember exactly to what tune, but he wanted

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Speaker 1: He tried to come get Franklin to come get involved,

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Speaker 1: and Franklin was like, nigga, give me twenty so I

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Speaker 1: can get a drink and get on. And he was like,

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Speaker 1: you're the best friend I ever had. Man. Franklin told

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Speaker 1: him that, and then what I saw all right, So

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Speaker 1: if you can remember on the first episode when he's

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Speaker 1: talking to Mail, he said he just wanted to be free, right,

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Speaker 1: That's all he wanted. He wanted to be free, And

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Speaker 1: then you see his drunk as daddy walk by. Right

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Speaker 1: in the end, he's as drunk, he turns into the

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Speaker 1: same niggas his daddy is, and he said, I'm finally free.

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Speaker 1: He says he finally free, but this was his freedom,

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Speaker 1: which was so sad.

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Speaker 3: You know.

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Speaker 2: I kind of think that sometimes when I see like

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Speaker 2: bums on the street, like they really be bucking the system.

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Speaker 2: Like we may see it like, oh they homeless, they

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Speaker 2: don't have shit, But when like I go to the

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Speaker 2: Caribbean and stuff like that, I see people living like

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Speaker 2: like minimalist, less stress, Like it's fucking stress. Was fuck

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Speaker 2: in America to maintain all these things, right, you know

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Speaker 2: what I'm saying, and push it. Yeah, and that is freedom.

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Speaker 2: It is a form of freedom.

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Speaker 3: But bitch, I need to be freedom.

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Speaker 1: That's the kind of yacht that niggad a ring around

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Speaker 1: his eye. He looks stanky as fuck.

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Speaker 2: I was like, okay, so I don't watch No I

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Speaker 2: haven't watched No Fall. So when I saw all the

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Speaker 2: different memes online he had that red I'm like, did

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Speaker 2: he turn it to zombie?

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Speaker 3: Like? What the is happening? It's like Resident Evil.

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Speaker 1: Right, they had him looking real fucked up, and it

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Speaker 1: just was I just don't feel like John Singleton would

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Speaker 1: have ended it that way.

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Speaker 2: They had a good run. They had a really good run.

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Speaker 2: So it was that sixth seasons, so about six years.

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Speaker 2: That's a long ass time.

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Speaker 3: So yeah, well RP.

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Speaker 1: John Singleton, all right, it's our stupid Internet news. I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna have a commercial break and we'll be right back.

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Speaker 2: All right, y'all way back for our commercial break, and

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Speaker 2: you know what I want to talk about to day town.

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Speaker 3: I would like.

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Speaker 2: To talk about emotional intelligence.

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Speaker 3: What is it?

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Speaker 2: How can you practice emotional intelligence? I feel like it's

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Speaker 2: almost a term a lot of people use, almost like

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Speaker 2: calling somebody a narcissists. It's like just another thing to

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Speaker 2: try to shame somebody, like, oh, they don't have emotional intelligence,

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Speaker 2: can't talk to them more. Maybe even I think women

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Speaker 2: may use it a lot when talking about men, like

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Speaker 2: they're just like emotionally unavailable kind of.

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Speaker 3: So listen.

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Speaker 2: The definition of emotional intelligence is it's most often defined

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Speaker 2: as the ability to perceive, use, understand, manage, and handle emotions.

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Speaker 2: People with high emotional intelligence can recognize their own emotions

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Speaker 2: and those of others, use more information to guide thinking

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Speaker 2: and behavior, discern between different feelings and label them appropriately,

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Speaker 2: and adjust emotions to adapt to environments. So that's the

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Speaker 2: definition of having emotions.

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Speaker 1: You just said a whole bunch of shit, and yeah,

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Speaker 1: don't like. So when I thought about it, I was like,

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Speaker 1: I'm emotional and I'm intelligent, so I must have emotional intelligence.

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Speaker 1: That's how it feels about it, Like I'm usually emotional

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Speaker 1: and I'm extremely intelligent, so I just assume that I

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Speaker 1: have emotional intelligence. But it's not that.

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Speaker 3: No.

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Speaker 2: So basically from what I read, it said like all

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Speaker 2: people experience emotions, obviously, right, but it's only it's a

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Speaker 2: black few of people who accurately identify them as they occur.

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Speaker 2: So research shows that only thirty six percent of people

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Speaker 2: actually have and practice emotional intelligence.

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Speaker 1: You know what I feel like in the black community,

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Speaker 1: what we do are I don't want to say what

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Speaker 1: we do, Okay, I'm saying it. We just we use

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Speaker 1: anger to express every emotion. We only use anger. I

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Speaker 1: feel like there's especially black men. I don't feel like

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Speaker 1: I think women are more emotionally intelligent than men.

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Speaker 2: Are we though, because we're usually the ones that's gonna

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Speaker 2: start yelling and that's not practicing emotional intelligence. Okay, So

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Speaker 2: you should be able to articulate like how you feeling

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Speaker 2: and convey it in a way to where to where

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Speaker 2: the person can understand without you getting angry. So I

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Speaker 2: can say, and we actually took a test, right, so

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Speaker 2: where was your score on the test? Okay, so I

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Speaker 2: scored a fifty six tammy ask but sometimes down the

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Speaker 2: middle of the show.

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Speaker 1: Sometimes sometimes I fuck with them sometimes I don't, you know,

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Speaker 1: like I feel like everybody literally could go sometimes down

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Speaker 1: the middle of all those questions.

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Speaker 3: Right, I think men may.

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Speaker 2: Okay, so I said, men practice emotional intelligence, right, but

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Speaker 2: I think also it could be.

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Speaker 3: Let me give an example.

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Speaker 2: So I was in a relationship with a fucking narcissist, right,

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Speaker 2: and he practiced emotional intelligence, but it was in a

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Speaker 2: form of manipulation though, Like could you imagine somebody doing

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Speaker 2: or saying something to get you to hunt? So now

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Speaker 2: you up here cutting up, cussing, acting a fucking food

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Speaker 2: and they like real calm, So now you feel stupid.

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Speaker 2: That's so when they say practicing emotional intelligence is like

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Speaker 2: you can articulate how you feel without getting angry. But

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Speaker 2: just because I'm displaying my anger, you know.

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Speaker 1: But isn't anger or emotion.

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Speaker 3: It is an emotion.

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Speaker 2: But what comes along with being angry cussing at somebody

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Speaker 2: being very disrespectful.

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Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 2: That's not healthy to have a healthy relationship with anybody

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Speaker 2: in a workplace. You know, I've worked in a corporate

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Speaker 2: setting where people cussed in corporate meetings.

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Speaker 1: Well, let's keep it. Let's get real real. You and

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Speaker 1: I when we disagree, we don't practice good emotional intellig

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Speaker 1: hanging up on each other.

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Speaker 3: I don't hang up.

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Speaker 2: You do once because I hung out one time because

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Speaker 2: I felt like I was tied of fucking talking and

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Speaker 2: if I keep talking, it's like nothing's getting done.

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Speaker 1: Okay, Well, so you hang up. I hang up.

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Speaker 3: I do say bye first, So is that really hanging up?

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Speaker 1: Yes, because the conversation, No, this has to be like

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Speaker 1: bitch bye, that's not the same thing.

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Speaker 3: Second, i'd be like, I'm hanging up now.

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Speaker 1: I definitely say the last time we got into you

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Speaker 1: was like, well you get out the phone, Then get

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Speaker 1: out the phone. I said, I ain't going nowhere the.

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Speaker 2: Phone for thirty more minutes before I finally hung up

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Speaker 2: on y'all, ass because now we don't talk too fun.

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Speaker 2: Listen to me and Tammy literally literally was in therapy. Now,

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Speaker 2: I did hang up on the therapy session.

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Speaker 1: So that's two. So that's why I hung up on

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Speaker 1: a therapy session because it's like I didn't like the

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Speaker 1: fucking therapist.

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Speaker 2: It's like, this ship is not fucking working. We probably

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Speaker 2: should have picked like a different therapist. We should not

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Speaker 2: have picked somebody that you're using as your personal therapist

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Speaker 2: because I'm asking like some basic shit to both Tam

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Speaker 2: and the fucking therapist, and she's like giving these god

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Speaker 2: damn white.

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Speaker 1: People, uh technology textbook answers.

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Speaker 2: Yes, I'm like, you know what, this ain't fucking working.

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Speaker 2: You know, I'm tired of talking. Y'all have a good event.

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Speaker 1: And you know what that brings up to a new conversation.

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Speaker 1: When it comes to therapist, you have to find the

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Speaker 1: right person for you, because I just felt like she

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Speaker 1: was a nice woman as a therapist, but she just

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Speaker 1: unpacked my shit and then left it sitting on this

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Speaker 1: table next to me. You know, like it wasn't like

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Speaker 1: any real healing that I was getting out of the therapy.

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Speaker 3: You're not gonna get.

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Speaker 2: I don't feel like you're gonna get As a black person,

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Speaker 2: I don't feel like you wanna get actual healing from

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Speaker 2: therapy with anybody doing some textbook textbook therapy type shit

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Speaker 2: like black people need spiritual healing, right, we need a

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Speaker 2: different type of therapy. So now these people get paid

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Speaker 2: to be This is a doctor, right, So imagine if

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Speaker 2: she wore to help heal everybody, she wouldn't have a job.

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Speaker 2: So they have you unpack all this shit and leave

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Speaker 2: it there so you can have some shit to unpack

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Speaker 2: next week. It's at what point is there an ending

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Speaker 2: to healing?

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Speaker 1: It has to be when are you healed?

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Speaker 3: Right? I think you're healed.

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Speaker 1: When you are, I would go like, I literally would

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Speaker 1: go into therapy like today is a beautiful day, and

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Speaker 1: then I leave out their motherfucking.

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Speaker 3: Life like how is good?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: Next week?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it just and the healing comes when you're able

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Speaker 2: to practice emotional intelligence, that's when the healing comes in.

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Speaker 3: So what emotion is the strongest, so the.

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Speaker 1: Stronger hold on?

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Speaker 2: I don't even want to start there. Sorry, How do

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Speaker 2: emotionally so this is one question. How do emotionally intelligent

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Speaker 2: people communicate? It says emotional intelligence improve your assertiveness by

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Speaker 2: allowing you to communicate effectively. By being aware of your emotions,

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Speaker 2: and by having self control, you can communicate your thoughts clearly,

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Speaker 2: with confidence. In turn, this will make you more assertive

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Speaker 2: and confident without coming across as pushy or aggressive. I

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Speaker 2: feel like as women, like if i'm if i'm I'm not.

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Speaker 2: I don't want to say pushy, but if I'm assertive,

427
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Speaker 2: I'm automatically called a bitch. But a man is called

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Speaker 2: a boss for being assertive. So I feel like, even

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Speaker 2: with that, women have to be black women. Anything we say,

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Speaker 2: do you automatically why you got an attitude? I know

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Speaker 2: the hotel the other night and I told a god like, listen, hey,

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Speaker 2: I'm Russian, I really need my stuff now. Because I

433
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Speaker 2: wanted to push my shit upstairs. I didn't want to

434
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Speaker 2: wait for him. I was like, hey, are you gonna

435
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Speaker 2: I said, I need my stuff now. You don't have

436
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Speaker 2: to say it like that, And I literally waited on

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Speaker 2: the other side of the door so I can make

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Speaker 2: sure he knew I wasn't trying to be rude to him,

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Speaker 2: because I wasn't. I'm never rude to anybody in service.

440
00:20:36,400 --> 00:20:38,520
Speaker 2: But I think I don't know if the fuck he

441
00:20:38,600 --> 00:20:41,840
Speaker 2: was dealing with at home, but he automatically nothing that

442
00:20:41,920 --> 00:20:45,960
Speaker 2: I said to him had an attitude or nasty undertone,

443
00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:48,240
Speaker 2: nothing but that you perceived it just.

444
00:20:48,160 --> 00:20:50,119
Speaker 1: Like how we were saying. Coiler Ray might have been

445
00:20:50,119 --> 00:20:52,560
Speaker 1: triggered just by that. He might have had bitches being

446
00:20:52,640 --> 00:20:55,359
Speaker 1: nasty to him all day and instead one sentence was like,

447
00:20:55,760 --> 00:20:56,720
Speaker 1: you know what, I'm sick of all.

448
00:20:56,800 --> 00:20:57,840
Speaker 3: You don't gotta say it like that.

449
00:20:57,880 --> 00:21:00,480
Speaker 2: And he had the nastiest attitude with me when he

450
00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:02,239
Speaker 2: went and got my car back again, he was like,

451
00:21:02,240 --> 00:21:04,080
Speaker 2: she ain't on tip anyway, bitch, I told you I

452
00:21:04,200 --> 00:21:07,400
Speaker 2: have cash, like y'all ain't y'all get paid to be here.

453
00:21:07,400 --> 00:21:10,280
Speaker 2: I'm confused, right, I can go get my own fucking car.

454
00:21:10,520 --> 00:21:12,320
Speaker 1: You better get a q You better get a QR

455
00:21:12,400 --> 00:21:13,120
Speaker 1: code necklace.

456
00:21:15,760 --> 00:21:17,760
Speaker 2: That parking was fifty five dollars a day, bitch, you

457
00:21:17,760 --> 00:21:20,320
Speaker 2: better get it from the damn hotewl was sixty two.

458
00:21:20,200 --> 00:21:20,840
Speaker 1: Dollars a day.

459
00:21:20,920 --> 00:21:22,400
Speaker 3: Oh that's I need to check.

460
00:21:22,560 --> 00:21:23,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, sixty two.

461
00:21:24,119 --> 00:21:24,800
Speaker 3: I paid for it.

462
00:21:24,840 --> 00:21:30,080
Speaker 1: So the it's that part, you know, I feel like

463
00:21:30,280 --> 00:21:33,720
Speaker 1: I get misunderstood oftentimes, like people are like your tone,

464
00:21:33,800 --> 00:21:38,080
Speaker 1: your tone, your tone, and really and I don't be mean,

465
00:21:38,119 --> 00:21:42,000
Speaker 1: and shit, really your tone right now, I feel like

466
00:21:42,040 --> 00:21:43,520
Speaker 1: there's a hits of sarcasm there.

467
00:21:43,640 --> 00:21:46,240
Speaker 2: Well, you know, because I feel like so Tammy always

468
00:21:46,280 --> 00:21:48,640
Speaker 2: be addressed in my tone, right, because I can say

469
00:21:48,640 --> 00:21:50,560
Speaker 2: the very same thing, it's just gonna be in a

470
00:21:50,640 --> 00:21:53,719
Speaker 2: louder tone. And she could say the same thing in

471
00:21:53,760 --> 00:21:56,680
Speaker 2: a regular tone, but for whatever reason in her mind,

472
00:21:56,800 --> 00:22:03,840
Speaker 2: is less disrespectful. It's more disrespectful because I'm telling nigga, no, yes,

473
00:22:03,880 --> 00:22:05,959
Speaker 2: they do. I feel like people address tone when they

474
00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:08,119
Speaker 2: can't address the real shit you're actually saying.

475
00:22:08,359 --> 00:22:10,479
Speaker 3: Now, he was like, why you say it like that?

476
00:22:10,560 --> 00:22:12,680
Speaker 3: You ain't have to say it like that. I dress,

477
00:22:12,760 --> 00:22:14,080
Speaker 3: what the fuck I'm saying, Let's move on.

478
00:22:14,240 --> 00:22:17,160
Speaker 1: See that's the same thing the man was saying that, nigga.

479
00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:22,359
Speaker 1: See see see you missing the man? You missing that point.

480
00:22:24,440 --> 00:22:26,320
Speaker 3: I said it really nice. I looked up. I said,

481
00:22:26,359 --> 00:22:27,720
Speaker 3: I really need to hard up and get dressed. I

482
00:22:27,720 --> 00:22:28,520
Speaker 3: need my bags now.

483
00:22:29,240 --> 00:22:32,360
Speaker 2: I didn't stay it mean to him, So fuck him.

484
00:22:34,000 --> 00:22:37,160
Speaker 2: So what does poor emotional intelligence looks like? It says

485
00:22:37,200 --> 00:22:41,200
Speaker 2: people with low UH emotional intelligence often struggle to understand

486
00:22:41,200 --> 00:22:45,720
Speaker 2: and control their emotions. They might lash out relatively excuse me,

487
00:22:45,800 --> 00:22:50,240
Speaker 2: They may lash out reactively without understanding what they are

488
00:22:50,320 --> 00:22:53,240
Speaker 2: really feeling and why they are even upset. A person

489
00:22:53,280 --> 00:22:58,440
Speaker 2: who lacks EQ might also have unexpected emotional emotional outbursts.

490
00:22:58,080 --> 00:23:03,119
Speaker 3: That seem overblown and un good. I don't be just

491
00:23:03,720 --> 00:23:04,960
Speaker 3: I don't get crunk for no reason.

492
00:23:05,040 --> 00:23:08,000
Speaker 2: Oftentimes, Like if I feel like I'm about to be

493
00:23:08,080 --> 00:23:10,040
Speaker 2: like that, I try to step away from the situation.

494
00:23:10,119 --> 00:23:13,560
Speaker 1: Now if you push me, I don't think I get

495
00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:16,560
Speaker 1: I have emotional outbursts. I probably like I'll get upset

496
00:23:16,560 --> 00:23:18,919
Speaker 1: and I'll go there like we can go and we

497
00:23:18,960 --> 00:23:20,879
Speaker 1: can scream at each other and yell and all that,

498
00:23:20,960 --> 00:23:24,400
Speaker 1: but I ain't never gonna just like go crazy out

499
00:23:24,400 --> 00:23:26,960
Speaker 1: of nowhere. You feel like, have you ever experienced that

500
00:23:27,040 --> 00:23:27,280
Speaker 1: with me?

501
00:23:27,680 --> 00:23:30,320
Speaker 3: No, I'm definitely not about to just get stupid for

502
00:23:30,359 --> 00:23:30,720
Speaker 3: no reason.

503
00:23:30,760 --> 00:23:33,000
Speaker 1: I feel like anytime that we argue, it starts here

504
00:23:33,119 --> 00:23:36,440
Speaker 1: and it just gradually goes from zero to one hundred.

505
00:23:36,720 --> 00:23:38,840
Speaker 1: But it is not like within moments.

506
00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:42,720
Speaker 2: So what I do do, because I know that I'm

507
00:23:42,760 --> 00:23:46,480
Speaker 2: trying to practice emotional intelligence, I do avoid. I just

508
00:23:46,560 --> 00:23:49,840
Speaker 2: avoid for a while, which isn't healthy either, because it's

509
00:23:49,840 --> 00:23:53,439
Speaker 2: things build up, right. So I do avoid conversations. I

510
00:23:53,480 --> 00:23:56,960
Speaker 2: avoid the person because I just don't if I feel

511
00:23:56,960 --> 00:23:58,160
Speaker 2: like I cannot.

512
00:23:57,920 --> 00:24:00,320
Speaker 3: Articulate it well to whoever it is you know what

513
00:24:00,359 --> 00:24:00,760
Speaker 3: I'm saying.

514
00:24:00,800 --> 00:24:03,640
Speaker 2: I'm just gonna avoid it all together. But then that's

515
00:24:03,680 --> 00:24:06,760
Speaker 2: not good because it ends up blowing.

516
00:24:06,520 --> 00:24:10,640
Speaker 1: Up in the end. Yeah, I not me the next

517
00:24:10,680 --> 00:24:15,800
Speaker 1: time I see bitch, come here as soon as I

518
00:24:15,840 --> 00:24:17,600
Speaker 1: see you, because that's the first thing on my mind.

519
00:24:17,600 --> 00:24:18,640
Speaker 1: It's the elephant in the room.

520
00:24:18,640 --> 00:24:20,720
Speaker 3: I gotta talk about it.

521
00:24:20,720 --> 00:24:23,040
Speaker 2: It just depends if it's something that can I don't know,

522
00:24:23,080 --> 00:24:25,480
Speaker 2: it just depends because sometimes certain things, Bitch, I can't

523
00:24:25,480 --> 00:24:26,840
Speaker 2: sleep at night if I don't let you know how

524
00:24:26,840 --> 00:24:29,600
Speaker 2: I feel like and then if I didn't get to

525
00:24:29,640 --> 00:24:32,920
Speaker 2: say the right things, bitch a double bad lass first

526
00:24:32,920 --> 00:24:33,560
Speaker 2: thing in the morning.

527
00:24:33,920 --> 00:24:36,480
Speaker 3: And as a matter of fact, let me add this

528
00:24:37,119 --> 00:24:37,760
Speaker 3: right saying.

529
00:24:39,280 --> 00:24:41,600
Speaker 1: But sometimes that's to a flaw for me, because sometimes

530
00:24:41,600 --> 00:24:44,480
Speaker 1: it's okay to just let shit go. I don't have

531
00:24:44,560 --> 00:24:46,120
Speaker 1: to address everything, right.

532
00:24:45,960 --> 00:24:49,639
Speaker 2: It's okay not to say something sometimes. Iramandvice used to

533
00:24:49,640 --> 00:24:51,840
Speaker 2: always tell my ex that, like, you know, it's okay

534
00:24:51,920 --> 00:24:52,919
Speaker 2: not to say nothing.

535
00:24:53,840 --> 00:24:55,560
Speaker 1: Like you don't have to address everything.

536
00:24:55,720 --> 00:24:57,520
Speaker 2: But when I really start shutting the fuck up, I

537
00:24:57,560 --> 00:24:59,919
Speaker 2: don't really care no more. As long as I'm like

538
00:25:00,119 --> 00:25:04,400
Speaker 2: going ham, I'm always trying to work it out, always

539
00:25:04,480 --> 00:25:06,240
Speaker 2: like I'm making I don't want to make a fight

540
00:25:06,320 --> 00:25:07,840
Speaker 2: of it, but I'm like, hey.

541
00:25:07,640 --> 00:25:11,359
Speaker 1: Come in, look see that toilet seat up on the

542
00:25:11,480 --> 00:25:15,000
Speaker 1: fuck again? Why did I have to fall in the toilet?

543
00:25:15,160 --> 00:25:17,040
Speaker 1: Not no more because my ask don got too wide.

544
00:25:17,119 --> 00:25:19,280
Speaker 1: I don't fall in no more. I still sit on top.

545
00:25:19,760 --> 00:25:22,160
Speaker 3: But there was a time my ass touching that stuff.

546
00:25:22,240 --> 00:25:24,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, you don't wanted to touch that part of the toilet,

547
00:25:24,560 --> 00:25:25,920
Speaker 1: but I ain't falling in no more.

548
00:25:28,440 --> 00:25:31,080
Speaker 3: I don't think niggas understand that till they ass fall in.

549
00:25:31,040 --> 00:25:32,800
Speaker 1: Right, Wait till your nuts hit that water.

550
00:25:32,840 --> 00:25:34,880
Speaker 3: You got to touch the seat, touch.

551
00:25:34,760 --> 00:25:37,480
Speaker 1: That bottom round I wanted to do. Niggas nuts be

552
00:25:37,560 --> 00:25:39,480
Speaker 1: dropping in the water when they sit down.

553
00:25:40,760 --> 00:25:50,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, like my ex used to, he was still lying

554
00:25:50,680 --> 00:25:52,480
Speaker 2: the toilet teacher's like, of course he went to prison

555
00:25:52,520 --> 00:25:53,960
Speaker 2: before it, but he was still lying.

556
00:25:54,160 --> 00:25:54,560
Speaker 1: Of course.

557
00:25:57,960 --> 00:26:03,000
Speaker 2: Show somebody was like, yeah, AJ like uh warm hood

558
00:26:03,040 --> 00:26:04,639
Speaker 2: niggas like niggas a felonies a ship.

559
00:26:04,720 --> 00:26:07,640
Speaker 3: First of all, I didn't say that. I did not

560
00:26:08,119 --> 00:26:08,479
Speaker 3: say that.

561
00:26:08,520 --> 00:26:09,720
Speaker 1: I'm like, why smart enough?

562
00:26:09,760 --> 00:26:11,520
Speaker 3: Not exactly? First of all?

563
00:26:11,560 --> 00:26:13,959
Speaker 2: Okay, or if you went you learn from it, and

564
00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:17,000
Speaker 2: now like you done bossed up in a different way, right,

565
00:26:17,280 --> 00:26:19,480
Speaker 2: but that nigga would line the toilet a toilet, he

566
00:26:19,520 --> 00:26:22,040
Speaker 2: would probably be the only person using. He'd stole line

567
00:26:22,080 --> 00:26:24,000
Speaker 2: it because he just like how the tissue felt. But

568
00:26:24,040 --> 00:26:26,440
Speaker 2: he would put like a little, one little piece right there.

569
00:26:26,800 --> 00:26:28,120
Speaker 1: You line the toilet at home.

570
00:26:32,840 --> 00:26:35,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like he would still line the toilet and he

571
00:26:35,440 --> 00:26:37,240
Speaker 2: would have like the one piece right there in the

572
00:26:37,240 --> 00:26:41,280
Speaker 2: middle to sen his dick on the ship was like,

573
00:26:41,400 --> 00:26:43,520
Speaker 2: so neat dick right there.

574
00:26:44,160 --> 00:26:47,320
Speaker 1: First of all, y'all rich, because toilet tissue is expensive,

575
00:26:47,400 --> 00:26:48,840
Speaker 1: y'all wasting all that tissue.

576
00:26:48,960 --> 00:26:51,720
Speaker 2: You know how niggas be buying one ply. They don't

577
00:26:51,720 --> 00:26:53,960
Speaker 2: even buy a good tissue. But you got one ply

578
00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:55,320
Speaker 2: at your goddamn house.

579
00:26:55,200 --> 00:26:56,520
Speaker 3: That was gifted to me.

580
00:26:58,160 --> 00:27:00,560
Speaker 1: During that time. I just sat you a box of

581
00:27:00,600 --> 00:27:02,440
Speaker 1: free tissue. That's what was there.

582
00:27:02,880 --> 00:27:06,080
Speaker 3: Fit ass tissue. Poke my finger in my butt?

583
00:27:08,840 --> 00:27:12,280
Speaker 2: How do you make someone more emotionally intelligent? So I

584
00:27:12,320 --> 00:27:13,800
Speaker 2: saw this, and I'm like, how do you mean I

585
00:27:13,840 --> 00:27:16,439
Speaker 2: can't make you emotionally intelligent? Like, I'm really just going

586
00:27:16,520 --> 00:27:19,160
Speaker 2: to distance myself and then let you figured the funk

587
00:27:19,200 --> 00:27:20,560
Speaker 2: out and you can come talk to you when you

588
00:27:20,600 --> 00:27:23,280
Speaker 2: get your mind right. Okay, So these are ten ways

589
00:27:23,280 --> 00:27:28,320
Speaker 2: to increase your emotional intelligence. Utilize an assertive style of communicating. Okay,

590
00:27:28,359 --> 00:27:32,680
Speaker 2: we talked about that, respond instead of reacting to conflict.

591
00:27:33,800 --> 00:27:35,800
Speaker 3: So how the fuck do you respond?

592
00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:39,160
Speaker 1: So here's what I try to do. I try to

593
00:27:39,240 --> 00:27:43,560
Speaker 1: look at it as I'm not the issue isn't the person.

594
00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:48,600
Speaker 1: The issue is the conversation, and we are attacking that together, right,

595
00:27:49,080 --> 00:27:49,840
Speaker 1: not each other.

596
00:27:49,920 --> 00:27:52,600
Speaker 2: The issue is the person. It's not like the person

597
00:27:52,760 --> 00:27:56,280
Speaker 2: caused the issue. So how can you attack the issue.

598
00:27:56,280 --> 00:27:57,240
Speaker 1: Without attacking the person?

599
00:27:57,320 --> 00:27:58,640
Speaker 3: Well, let's take the word attack out.

600
00:27:58,680 --> 00:28:02,399
Speaker 2: That's the only way, right, because anytime somebody here is

601
00:28:02,440 --> 00:28:03,760
Speaker 2: attacked is just.

602
00:28:03,840 --> 00:28:08,879
Speaker 3: Negative combat, right the issue, I guess.

603
00:28:09,080 --> 00:28:11,640
Speaker 2: But if the person is the cause of the issue,

604
00:28:11,760 --> 00:28:13,560
Speaker 2: it'll still feel like an attack.

605
00:28:13,280 --> 00:28:16,480
Speaker 3: On them to them.

606
00:28:15,440 --> 00:28:16,880
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying. So I know they teach

607
00:28:16,920 --> 00:28:19,760
Speaker 2: you that. Teach you that in therapy. Right, when you're

608
00:28:19,760 --> 00:28:22,560
Speaker 2: in a relationship with somebody.

609
00:28:21,720 --> 00:28:24,960
Speaker 3: You're not the problem. We're going to attack the problem.

610
00:28:24,960 --> 00:28:27,439
Speaker 2: Okay, But if the problem is you leaving a toilet

611
00:28:27,440 --> 00:28:29,200
Speaker 2: seat up or some shit like that, or I don't

612
00:28:29,200 --> 00:28:31,320
Speaker 2: like how you talk, so the problem is the toilet

613
00:28:31,359 --> 00:28:33,399
Speaker 2: seat is up, and then the problem is how you

614
00:28:33,440 --> 00:28:36,399
Speaker 2: talk to me, Yeah, how is that?

615
00:28:36,600 --> 00:28:36,800
Speaker 3: You know?

616
00:28:37,240 --> 00:28:40,000
Speaker 1: Like you're so, so the problem is the toilet seat

617
00:28:40,080 --> 00:28:43,320
Speaker 1: being up, and the problem is also the way it

618
00:28:43,400 --> 00:28:45,040
Speaker 1: was communicated.

619
00:28:44,600 --> 00:28:48,400
Speaker 2: Right, Okay, So utilize active listening skills is what it says,

620
00:28:48,960 --> 00:28:53,560
Speaker 2: so active listening, which I've learned also therapy is what

621
00:28:53,560 --> 00:28:55,200
Speaker 2: do they call it?

622
00:28:55,200 --> 00:28:56,800
Speaker 3: It's like reflective or something like that.

623
00:28:56,840 --> 00:28:59,320
Speaker 2: So, like if we having a conversation, before I respond,

624
00:28:59,800 --> 00:29:03,880
Speaker 2: I try to repeat what you said right and what

625
00:29:03,960 --> 00:29:07,080
Speaker 2: I'm hearing, so to something like this, what I'm hearing

626
00:29:07,120 --> 00:29:09,240
Speaker 2: you say, Tam is such and such and such and such,

627
00:29:10,240 --> 00:29:12,360
Speaker 2: And then I ask you is that what you're saying

628
00:29:12,400 --> 00:29:14,800
Speaker 2: and you say yes or no, and then I respond

629
00:29:14,840 --> 00:29:18,000
Speaker 2: to it as opposed to assuming I understand what you

630
00:29:18,080 --> 00:29:21,960
Speaker 2: said right, And then it also affirms to you that

631
00:29:22,040 --> 00:29:23,480
Speaker 2: I'm actually listening.

632
00:29:23,160 --> 00:29:25,640
Speaker 1: To what I'm saying. But that's so hard to do

633
00:29:25,800 --> 00:29:29,520
Speaker 1: in a real conversation that has some passion involved and

634
00:29:29,600 --> 00:29:34,200
Speaker 1: you're potentially upset or whatever it is. Oftentimes you don't

635
00:29:34,240 --> 00:29:36,840
Speaker 1: even let the other person finish their complete thought before

636
00:29:36,880 --> 00:29:40,520
Speaker 1: you're responding. I know I'm guilty of that. I'd be like, bitch,

637
00:29:40,520 --> 00:29:42,120
Speaker 1: already know what you're about to say because you just

638
00:29:42,200 --> 00:29:45,000
Speaker 1: said it three fucking times and you ain't get it yet,

639
00:29:45,040 --> 00:29:48,440
Speaker 1: and I'm going to interject because you're not clearly not

640
00:29:48,520 --> 00:29:51,920
Speaker 1: receiving what I'm trying to say. In response to that.

641
00:29:51,960 --> 00:29:54,720
Speaker 2: I just feel like there cannot be communication without interjection,

642
00:29:54,840 --> 00:29:57,320
Speaker 2: Like I hate that. And we go through this a

643
00:29:57,360 --> 00:29:59,400
Speaker 2: lot of times when we're talking, and even with my

644
00:29:59,480 --> 00:30:02,560
Speaker 2: damn mom, and we like the same person. When you're

645
00:30:02,640 --> 00:30:05,160
Speaker 2: talking to somebody, there's no way I'm about to let

646
00:30:05,160 --> 00:30:11,479
Speaker 2: you talk for three to five minutes without interjection. Is like,

647
00:30:11,560 --> 00:30:14,440
Speaker 2: this is now a lecture. Now you're a lecturing me,

648
00:30:14,600 --> 00:30:16,560
Speaker 2: and here I am another adult, Like I didn't sign

649
00:30:16,640 --> 00:30:17,920
Speaker 2: up for a lecture. I didn't sign up for a

650
00:30:17,960 --> 00:30:21,400
Speaker 2: conference to hear you do a fucking ted talk. We're

651
00:30:21,600 --> 00:30:24,560
Speaker 2: having a conversation about something, so if we're conversing, I

652
00:30:24,560 --> 00:30:26,840
Speaker 2: should be able to be able to interject, and it

653
00:30:26,920 --> 00:30:29,080
Speaker 2: may be to correct something you may have said so

654
00:30:29,120 --> 00:30:32,400
Speaker 2: you can have more clarity and maybe going a different

655
00:30:32,400 --> 00:30:34,160
Speaker 2: direction on what you're saying. So this is why I

656
00:30:34,200 --> 00:30:38,680
Speaker 2: think interjection is you have to have interjection and communication.

657
00:30:39,960 --> 00:30:41,000
Speaker 1: Within reason.

658
00:30:41,280 --> 00:30:43,400
Speaker 2: I can't remember what you said for full three minutes.

659
00:30:43,440 --> 00:30:45,520
Speaker 2: I'm only remember the beginning and the end. I'm gonna

660
00:30:45,560 --> 00:30:47,880
Speaker 2: miss everything else in between. So if you think that

661
00:30:47,920 --> 00:30:49,560
Speaker 2: I'm supposed to sit here and let you talk for

662
00:30:49,600 --> 00:30:50,720
Speaker 2: three to five.

663
00:30:50,560 --> 00:30:53,640
Speaker 3: Minutes, and I've done it. Me and my homegirl we

664
00:30:53,680 --> 00:30:54,280
Speaker 3: got into like.

665
00:30:54,200 --> 00:30:57,600
Speaker 2: A little spat one day about nothing, and at one

666
00:30:57,600 --> 00:30:59,440
Speaker 2: point I just didn't say nothing, and I let her

667
00:30:59,520 --> 00:31:01,880
Speaker 2: talk for a very long time, and then I asked

668
00:31:01,880 --> 00:31:05,280
Speaker 2: if she was finished. Now, I couldn't do the reflective

669
00:31:05,280 --> 00:31:07,960
Speaker 2: shit because I don't remember you sat it in the middle.

670
00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:09,400
Speaker 3: Dog. You know what I'm saying.

671
00:31:09,440 --> 00:31:12,080
Speaker 2: You said so many things that I did have I

672
00:31:12,120 --> 00:31:14,120
Speaker 2: wanted to talk to a response to or whatever, and

673
00:31:14,160 --> 00:31:17,440
Speaker 2: I couldn't just because this is for whatever, this is

674
00:31:17,440 --> 00:31:20,680
Speaker 2: your style of communicating right now, That's not my style.

675
00:31:20,680 --> 00:31:23,200
Speaker 2: I don't mind interjection, but what I do find is

676
00:31:23,200 --> 00:31:26,040
Speaker 2: that people don't hear themselves. I hear myself talking over you.

677
00:31:26,080 --> 00:31:28,280
Speaker 2: I hear myself interjecting. Do you hear when you do

678
00:31:28,320 --> 00:31:28,640
Speaker 2: it to me?

679
00:31:30,040 --> 00:31:33,280
Speaker 3: Oftentimes people don't, So it says, you know, you gotta

680
00:31:33,280 --> 00:31:34,200
Speaker 3: practice self awareness.

681
00:31:34,240 --> 00:31:39,320
Speaker 2: I think that's the biggest thing with emotional intelligence. You

682
00:31:39,360 --> 00:31:42,239
Speaker 2: have to be self aware of who you are. And

683
00:31:42,560 --> 00:31:46,160
Speaker 2: I am very, very self aware of who I am, so.

684
00:31:48,520 --> 00:31:49,360
Speaker 3: It helps me.

685
00:31:52,040 --> 00:31:54,120
Speaker 2: Because this is another reason why I thought about this

686
00:31:54,200 --> 00:31:57,320
Speaker 2: the other day. I was telling you how I felt

687
00:31:57,360 --> 00:32:00,320
Speaker 2: bad for not doing something for somebody else when I

688
00:32:00,400 --> 00:32:02,640
Speaker 2: knew that they needed me, but they probably couldn't find

689
00:32:02,640 --> 00:32:03,800
Speaker 2: the words to ask me.

690
00:32:04,240 --> 00:32:05,880
Speaker 3: But I was tired of doing for other.

691
00:32:05,720 --> 00:32:08,200
Speaker 1: Things they didn't fucking need. That's the thing you be thinking,

692
00:32:08,240 --> 00:32:11,040
Speaker 1: motherfuckers need you. These is grown ass people. They'll figure

693
00:32:11,040 --> 00:32:11,360
Speaker 1: it out.

694
00:32:11,720 --> 00:32:13,360
Speaker 2: I know they'll figure it out. But if I can

695
00:32:13,440 --> 00:32:16,560
Speaker 2: make if you're my friend, right, and if I can

696
00:32:16,600 --> 00:32:18,920
Speaker 2: make whatever you got going on easier, I feel like

697
00:32:18,920 --> 00:32:19,560
Speaker 2: I'm supposed to.

698
00:32:20,200 --> 00:32:23,520
Speaker 1: Yeah. But here's the thing. You end up with resentment

699
00:32:23,760 --> 00:32:28,239
Speaker 1: because you get you've overextended yourself. And I say I

700
00:32:28,280 --> 00:32:33,479
Speaker 1: feel bad when I don't put myself first oftentimes, like damn,

701
00:32:33,560 --> 00:32:35,840
Speaker 1: I keep doing this shit for people and I and

702
00:32:35,880 --> 00:32:38,200
Speaker 1: now look at me neglecting myself, right.

703
00:32:38,160 --> 00:32:40,480
Speaker 2: Bitch, because I ain't sleep till yesterday, and I probably

704
00:32:40,480 --> 00:32:43,040
Speaker 2: didn't sleep prior to that till like Wednesday.

705
00:32:43,440 --> 00:32:45,200
Speaker 3: Making sure I do other shit.

706
00:32:46,000 --> 00:32:47,720
Speaker 1: And it'd be a little dumb as shit like giving

707
00:32:47,720 --> 00:32:49,560
Speaker 1: people a ride home, girl, if you don't let them

708
00:32:49,560 --> 00:32:52,840
Speaker 1: get an uber and get the fuck home bitch, I

709
00:32:52,920 --> 00:32:55,320
Speaker 1: just knew my fucking uper wasn't coming till two am

710
00:32:55,320 --> 00:33:00,200
Speaker 1: about this week, text me when you make it home safe, baby?

711
00:33:01,720 --> 00:33:06,400
Speaker 2: Fucked up how it is, But it just depends on

712
00:33:06,440 --> 00:33:09,160
Speaker 2: the situation though. It depends on where they at. You

713
00:33:09,200 --> 00:33:11,120
Speaker 2: know what I'm saying, Like, can they even get home?

714
00:33:12,160 --> 00:33:13,400
Speaker 3: You just even even if.

715
00:33:13,280 --> 00:33:19,719
Speaker 2: They call an uber? It could take an hour? Okay girl, Okay,

716
00:33:20,000 --> 00:33:21,920
Speaker 2: you like empathy for others?

717
00:33:22,080 --> 00:33:24,240
Speaker 1: No, I have empathy for others, but that's just not

718
00:33:24,320 --> 00:33:26,760
Speaker 1: an empathetic Oh you had to say you had to

719
00:33:26,760 --> 00:33:29,080
Speaker 1: wait an hour? Okay, you'll survive that.

720
00:33:29,280 --> 00:33:32,880
Speaker 3: Hmm. You know empathize? Are you here?

721
00:33:32,920 --> 00:33:35,720
Speaker 1: Here's the thing? Are you homeless? Do you not have

722
00:33:35,800 --> 00:33:38,680
Speaker 1: nowhere to go for the uber? Okay you can. You

723
00:33:38,720 --> 00:33:41,360
Speaker 1: can crash with me until you get yourself together. If

724
00:33:41,400 --> 00:33:44,160
Speaker 1: it's someone I really got to be dire, Yeah, but

725
00:33:44,200 --> 00:33:46,240
Speaker 1: if you just go and have an extra are you late?

726
00:33:46,280 --> 00:33:48,600
Speaker 1: You're gonna be you? Don't you get an hour less

727
00:33:48,640 --> 00:33:51,200
Speaker 1: sleep tonight? That's on you, baby girl.

728
00:33:51,480 --> 00:33:55,840
Speaker 3: So under there's ten ways to increase your emotional intelligence.

729
00:33:55,880 --> 00:33:59,000
Speaker 3: Theres take critique. Well do you feel like you take critique? Well?

730
00:33:59,200 --> 00:34:03,120
Speaker 2: M M, neither do I Especially if I feel like

731
00:34:03,120 --> 00:34:04,760
Speaker 2: I'm doing some ship right and here you come with

732
00:34:04,760 --> 00:34:05,240
Speaker 2: some bullshit.

733
00:34:05,320 --> 00:34:09,480
Speaker 1: I'm I think I take criticism, criticism way better than you,

734
00:34:09,520 --> 00:34:14,680
Speaker 1: though you'd be like, what bitch, Yeah, real quick. I'm

735
00:34:14,960 --> 00:34:18,960
Speaker 1: more open to criticism, like I can't. I'll receive that

736
00:34:19,280 --> 00:34:22,200
Speaker 1: with a grain of salt, but I'll receive it.

737
00:34:23,200 --> 00:34:25,280
Speaker 3: I think I don't take critique.

738
00:34:25,320 --> 00:34:28,279
Speaker 2: Well, sometimes when I know that I've given somebody a

739
00:34:28,320 --> 00:34:30,440
Speaker 2: lot of grace, and when it's time for me to

740
00:34:30,480 --> 00:34:31,399
Speaker 2: get grace, I don't get.

741
00:34:31,320 --> 00:34:34,399
Speaker 1: Any Well, here's the thing. Stop giving grace that you

742
00:34:34,440 --> 00:34:39,520
Speaker 1: want receive that everybody you can't expect to give grace.

743
00:34:40,640 --> 00:34:43,200
Speaker 1: Yeah they should, but they don't.

744
00:34:44,920 --> 00:34:50,200
Speaker 2: Right, So when I snap on your ass, that's when

745
00:34:53,280 --> 00:34:56,200
Speaker 2: it's gonna teach you for the next time. No, it's

746
00:34:56,239 --> 00:35:00,880
Speaker 2: not all he's gonna learn today. That's not gonna teach anything.

747
00:35:00,920 --> 00:35:04,200
Speaker 2: All it's gonna do is cause more conflict. Like, don't

748
00:35:04,200 --> 00:35:07,560
Speaker 2: give the grace if you feel like you're not gonna receive.

749
00:35:07,680 --> 00:35:08,560
Speaker 3: No, that's the problem.

750
00:35:08,640 --> 00:35:12,040
Speaker 2: People don't give each other enough grace. So now if

751
00:35:12,080 --> 00:35:15,760
Speaker 2: you can't recognize where you've received grace when you weren't

752
00:35:15,840 --> 00:35:20,839
Speaker 2: being the best, and now you think that because you're

753
00:35:20,880 --> 00:35:23,439
Speaker 2: good now, right, you can't extend grace.

754
00:35:23,520 --> 00:35:24,120
Speaker 3: That's a problem.

755
00:35:24,120 --> 00:35:28,000
Speaker 1: But sometimes criticism isn't about grace. It's just about whatever

756
00:35:28,040 --> 00:35:30,879
Speaker 1: the task is. It's not even about like, you know,

757
00:35:30,960 --> 00:35:33,600
Speaker 1: not understanding your perspective or your point of view. It's

758
00:35:33,640 --> 00:35:37,359
Speaker 1: just about whatever is at hand. And typically that's where

759
00:35:37,400 --> 00:35:39,839
Speaker 1: criticism comes from. It's like what are we what it

760
00:35:39,880 --> 00:35:43,080
Speaker 1: needs to be done? Or what how can this be better?

761
00:35:43,560 --> 00:35:49,759
Speaker 1: And it's not about like grace and you know, no, I.

762
00:35:49,680 --> 00:35:51,960
Speaker 2: Think they're gonna hand in hand kind of it just

763
00:35:52,040 --> 00:35:58,360
Speaker 2: does to me. So what's considered high emotion intelligence. It

764
00:35:58,400 --> 00:36:01,480
Speaker 2: says that those who have high EQ and highly in

765
00:36:01,560 --> 00:36:05,000
Speaker 2: tune with their with both their own emotions and other

766
00:36:05,000 --> 00:36:09,600
Speaker 2: people's emotions around them. So that's when you very emotion

767
00:36:09,719 --> 00:36:13,000
Speaker 2: emotional intelligence. They can recognize and understand the various feelings

768
00:36:13,040 --> 00:36:17,439
Speaker 2: that sweep them through. Excuse me, they can they can

769
00:36:17,520 --> 00:36:21,640
Speaker 2: recognize and understand the various feelings that sweep through them

770
00:36:21,840 --> 00:36:28,400
Speaker 2: and are able to appropriately appropriately manage them. M So

771
00:36:28,520 --> 00:36:32,680
Speaker 2: feeling your emotions, dealing with them, sitting in them, and

772
00:36:32,719 --> 00:36:37,920
Speaker 2: then being able to you know, handle whatever the situation.

773
00:36:37,640 --> 00:36:40,600
Speaker 1: Is without without drugs and alcohol too, because I think

774
00:36:40,640 --> 00:36:43,440
Speaker 1: that's a lot of ways people use to code with

775
00:36:43,600 --> 00:36:46,160
Speaker 1: whatever they are feeling. Like you know how I just

776
00:36:46,200 --> 00:36:48,520
Speaker 1: said when I left the therapy, I like roll of joy,

777
00:36:49,040 --> 00:36:53,239
Speaker 1: right yeah, or like after funerals everybody get drunk, you know.

778
00:36:53,360 --> 00:36:55,479
Speaker 2: Like, but maybe I think that weed is a part

779
00:36:55,560 --> 00:36:56,680
Speaker 2: I know for black people.

780
00:36:56,719 --> 00:36:59,440
Speaker 3: Like that's why it was made it legal in America

781
00:36:59,520 --> 00:37:01,080
Speaker 3: because that is one of our medicines.

782
00:37:01,480 --> 00:37:03,200
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying. When they came to this land,

783
00:37:03,200 --> 00:37:05,600
Speaker 2: we probably was already this is our ship. This is

784
00:37:05,640 --> 00:37:08,280
Speaker 2: one of our medicines. Right, so they make it legal

785
00:37:08,440 --> 00:37:10,799
Speaker 2: until it benefits them. Now it's legal, is okay for

786
00:37:10,840 --> 00:37:13,720
Speaker 2: you to do, right, But I believe that black people

787
00:37:13,920 --> 00:37:16,480
Speaker 2: this is our shit, Like we know that from Jamaicans,

788
00:37:16,480 --> 00:37:19,760
Speaker 2: Like weed is like our medication.

789
00:37:19,880 --> 00:37:22,360
Speaker 1: Can't fuck with them edibles though, yeah.

790
00:37:22,200 --> 00:37:25,480
Speaker 2: Because you don't know how much season each piece, Like

791
00:37:25,680 --> 00:37:28,560
Speaker 2: you can't tell me it's just one gram in this one?

792
00:37:28,800 --> 00:37:29,320
Speaker 1: Is that anything?

793
00:37:29,400 --> 00:37:30,920
Speaker 3: The problem believingly distributed?

794
00:37:30,960 --> 00:37:34,640
Speaker 1: It just don't have ourself. You smoke some weed, you high, right, right?

795
00:37:34,920 --> 00:37:38,640
Speaker 1: But man, I found myself walking around Target. I was like,

796
00:37:39,120 --> 00:37:42,200
Speaker 1: oh shit, I forgot I ate that animal about an

797
00:37:42,239 --> 00:37:45,560
Speaker 1: hour ago, bab I was about to be sitting on

798
00:37:45,600 --> 00:37:48,440
Speaker 1: the floor India stylad Target trying to make it and

799
00:37:48,480 --> 00:37:49,080
Speaker 1: that shit.

800
00:37:48,960 --> 00:37:53,240
Speaker 2: Is different when you overdose on weed, because being drunk

801
00:37:53,320 --> 00:37:55,960
Speaker 2: and being too high on weed is two different things. Bitch,

802
00:37:56,239 --> 00:37:58,200
Speaker 2: I tried to drive home, whynot out a whole and

803
00:37:58,239 --> 00:38:00,680
Speaker 2: I had taken a whole gummy before, But like I said,

804
00:38:00,719 --> 00:38:03,160
Speaker 2: it's not evenly distributed, so you really don't know how

805
00:38:03,239 --> 00:38:06,000
Speaker 2: much you're taking in this one particular dose. Bitch, I

806
00:38:06,040 --> 00:38:07,360
Speaker 2: don't know how I got home.

807
00:38:08,160 --> 00:38:08,440
Speaker 1: I don't know.

808
00:38:08,600 --> 00:38:10,520
Speaker 3: That's why my eyes was closed the whole time.

809
00:38:11,680 --> 00:38:14,719
Speaker 1: So no, this guy had the beverage, right, So I

810
00:38:14,719 --> 00:38:17,239
Speaker 1: don't understand. You have a beverage the size of a

811
00:38:17,320 --> 00:38:19,920
Speaker 1: drink that you would have as a meal, right with

812
00:38:20,040 --> 00:38:24,040
Speaker 1: your meal. But you're only supposed to take a cap full, right,

813
00:38:24,320 --> 00:38:25,960
Speaker 1: just drink a cap of it. And it's like, what's

814
00:38:25,960 --> 00:38:28,120
Speaker 1: the point of having it as a beverage if I

815
00:38:28,120 --> 00:38:30,880
Speaker 1: can't drink the whole beverage. It should be like distributed

816
00:38:31,000 --> 00:38:33,960
Speaker 1: through the beverage as the drink, right right. I did

817
00:38:34,000 --> 00:38:36,359
Speaker 1: not know it, so I dranked the whole bottle with

818
00:38:36,400 --> 00:38:43,319
Speaker 1: my lunch. Let me tell you, I was sitting there,

819
00:38:43,320 --> 00:38:45,080
Speaker 1: I could not go back to work. First of all,

820
00:38:45,200 --> 00:38:49,240
Speaker 1: I was on the floor crying, freestyling the instrumental beats,

821
00:38:49,360 --> 00:38:58,000
Speaker 1: ass naked, never again, never again. So I don't fuck

822
00:38:58,040 --> 00:39:01,840
Speaker 1: with that. Just a little joy and to ease my

823
00:39:01,920 --> 00:39:03,080
Speaker 1: mind shame.

824
00:39:03,320 --> 00:39:06,920
Speaker 3: So this is These are the seven signs of emotional intelligence.

825
00:39:06,960 --> 00:39:08,720
Speaker 3: It says that your self aware.

826
00:39:08,880 --> 00:39:11,760
Speaker 2: When we went over that, people with high emotional intelligence

827
00:39:11,840 --> 00:39:15,000
Speaker 2: have a strong sense of self, They're empathetic, they are

828
00:39:15,040 --> 00:39:20,040
Speaker 2: present and focused, they have strong interpersonal skills, and their

829
00:39:20,120 --> 00:39:26,040
Speaker 2: self motivated. Okay, that's somebody who does practice or the

830
00:39:26,080 --> 00:39:27,840
Speaker 2: seven signs of being emotionally intelligence.

831
00:39:27,920 --> 00:39:31,319
Speaker 1: I feel like I have a decent emotional intelligence. It's

832
00:39:31,320 --> 00:39:40,279
Speaker 1: not perfect by any measure, but it's pretty decent. Because

833
00:39:40,320 --> 00:39:43,399
Speaker 1: self aware doesn't necessarily mean just knowing what you're good at,

834
00:39:43,480 --> 00:39:47,160
Speaker 1: is also being able to identify where you're weak, you know.

835
00:39:47,719 --> 00:39:53,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know. I don't know all.

836
00:39:53,600 --> 00:39:56,040
Speaker 2: I should just go back to being self aware and

837
00:39:57,480 --> 00:40:02,759
Speaker 2: just fucking breathing sometimes thinking through your emotions, feeling through

838
00:40:04,120 --> 00:40:05,920
Speaker 2: and I don't know.

839
00:40:06,120 --> 00:40:08,279
Speaker 3: I feel like maybe it's a little bit about it

840
00:40:08,440 --> 00:40:12,560
Speaker 3: meaning fake what it's a little bit.

841
00:40:13,239 --> 00:40:17,239
Speaker 1: I think it's the opposite of being fake don't where is.

842
00:40:18,320 --> 00:40:19,600
Speaker 3: But maybe this is who I am?

843
00:40:20,000 --> 00:40:28,600
Speaker 4: Fake, no bitch, Like, maybe maybe how I display my

844
00:40:28,719 --> 00:40:30,319
Speaker 4: feelings is just who I am.

845
00:40:31,160 --> 00:40:33,200
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying. So if I might yell

846
00:40:33,239 --> 00:40:34,719
Speaker 2: a little bit, that's just who I am.

847
00:40:35,000 --> 00:40:36,080
Speaker 1: No, that's a cop out.

848
00:40:36,480 --> 00:40:37,879
Speaker 3: Is a cop out? No.

849
00:40:37,920 --> 00:40:39,719
Speaker 1: I hate when a nigga be like, that's just who

850
00:40:39,760 --> 00:40:42,239
Speaker 1: I am. A cheater, No, you don't get to do that.

851
00:40:42,360 --> 00:40:45,160
Speaker 3: You don't lie. He might just be a cheater. You

852
00:40:45,239 --> 00:40:46,520
Speaker 3: can't make him not do that.

853
00:40:46,520 --> 00:40:50,680
Speaker 1: That's who But that's not okay though. This is what

854
00:40:50,719 --> 00:40:53,480
Speaker 1: this is about. It's like being a better version of

855
00:40:53,560 --> 00:40:57,160
Speaker 1: yourself and not just accepting your flaws and saying that's

856
00:40:57,200 --> 00:40:58,879
Speaker 1: just who I am, but like working on the things

857
00:40:58,920 --> 00:40:59,800
Speaker 1: and making it better.

858
00:41:00,200 --> 00:41:02,680
Speaker 2: That sounds like a person who's self aware if he

859
00:41:02,680 --> 00:41:05,040
Speaker 2: could say that's just who I am. Now it's up

860
00:41:05,080 --> 00:41:07,239
Speaker 2: to you to decide if that's what you want to

861
00:41:07,280 --> 00:41:13,839
Speaker 2: deal with. That's like what Ayanya. Remember there's a there's

862
00:41:13,840 --> 00:41:16,360
Speaker 2: an Instagram post of her like one of her episodes.

863
00:41:16,400 --> 00:41:19,279
Speaker 2: She was telling this a woman she said, you know

864
00:41:19,320 --> 00:41:21,920
Speaker 2: when she she had to learn that it wasn't for

865
00:41:21,960 --> 00:41:24,080
Speaker 2: her to teach people how to love her because I've

866
00:41:24,120 --> 00:41:25,920
Speaker 2: always been a firm believer in alle You gotta teach

867
00:41:25,920 --> 00:41:27,680
Speaker 2: people how to treat you, or they will just treat

868
00:41:27,680 --> 00:41:30,040
Speaker 2: you how to last bitch, allow them to write, But no,

869
00:41:30,400 --> 00:41:33,719
Speaker 2: You're supposed to experience how that person loves right and

870
00:41:33,800 --> 00:41:37,120
Speaker 2: decide whether or not you want that love. If that

871
00:41:37,160 --> 00:41:39,719
Speaker 2: love isn't good enough for you, right, get the fuck

872
00:41:39,760 --> 00:41:41,680
Speaker 2: going through? You can't really, especially when people get up

873
00:41:41,680 --> 00:41:42,520
Speaker 2: a certain age.

874
00:41:43,760 --> 00:41:45,640
Speaker 1: I don't know, because I think a lot of these

875
00:41:45,680 --> 00:41:48,680
Speaker 1: men don't know how to love until you give them

876
00:41:48,680 --> 00:41:49,200
Speaker 1: some training.

877
00:41:50,080 --> 00:41:53,640
Speaker 2: I think everybody knows how to is it? Are you

878
00:41:53,719 --> 00:41:55,759
Speaker 2: the person I want to do it for? And that's

879
00:41:55,760 --> 00:41:57,880
Speaker 2: why I don't like to spend the block shit like

880
00:41:57,920 --> 00:42:01,600
Speaker 2: with Nelly and and Ashanti, because I almost feel like

881
00:42:01,640 --> 00:42:04,280
Speaker 2: the only way men learn oftentimes.

882
00:42:03,760 --> 00:42:04,600
Speaker 3: Is through pain.

883
00:42:05,440 --> 00:42:08,799
Speaker 2: So if I leave you because you weren't doing these

884
00:42:08,840 --> 00:42:12,160
Speaker 2: things I kept asking you to do, right, if I stay,

885
00:42:12,400 --> 00:42:15,000
Speaker 2: he's never gonna change for me. But he won't change

886
00:42:15,000 --> 00:42:17,560
Speaker 2: for the next woman because it's the pain he experienced

887
00:42:17,719 --> 00:42:20,399
Speaker 2: from when I left that ass that'll make him change

888
00:42:20,440 --> 00:42:22,600
Speaker 2: for the next woman. That's why I'll never mind giving

889
00:42:22,600 --> 00:42:24,120
Speaker 2: a bit of a furbish nigga like.

890
00:42:24,360 --> 00:42:26,759
Speaker 3: Here, girl, he about to be real good for you.

891
00:42:27,440 --> 00:42:28,880
Speaker 2: He would not do these things for me, and he

892
00:42:28,960 --> 00:42:30,480
Speaker 2: gonna do it for the next woman effort.

893
00:42:30,480 --> 00:42:31,399
Speaker 3: He might come and do.

894
00:42:31,320 --> 00:42:33,960
Speaker 1: The same shit. He might come come back around and

895
00:42:33,960 --> 00:42:35,040
Speaker 1: do the same shit. You don't.

896
00:42:35,080 --> 00:42:37,040
Speaker 3: He might not. I feel like that's how they learn.

897
00:42:37,120 --> 00:42:37,960
Speaker 3: Men learn through hurt.

898
00:42:38,400 --> 00:42:40,360
Speaker 1: But you know, I think it's also a growth and

899
00:42:40,480 --> 00:42:42,799
Speaker 1: learning period that happens when you get older. Like with

900
00:42:43,040 --> 00:42:46,920
Speaker 1: Ashanti Nelly, he's an older man than he was twenty

901
00:42:47,000 --> 00:42:49,960
Speaker 1: years ago. I'm sure he's grown in so many ways,

902
00:42:50,040 --> 00:42:52,160
Speaker 1: you know, both of them. Because we ain't gonna just

903
00:42:52,160 --> 00:42:53,840
Speaker 1: put it on it. They know what happened.

904
00:42:53,880 --> 00:42:55,680
Speaker 3: That was like ten years ago. They broke up, right,

905
00:42:55,960 --> 00:42:56,719
Speaker 3: so you think that.

906
00:42:57,400 --> 00:42:59,919
Speaker 2: I think he just see her being fucking fine, living

907
00:43:00,040 --> 00:43:02,840
Speaker 2: our best life, looking so good.

908
00:43:03,400 --> 00:43:03,720
Speaker 3: Okay.

909
00:43:04,360 --> 00:43:07,120
Speaker 2: And now, sometimes niggas spend the block just to disturb

910
00:43:07,200 --> 00:43:07,600
Speaker 2: your peace.

911
00:43:07,640 --> 00:43:07,839
Speaker 1: Dog.

912
00:43:08,880 --> 00:43:11,400
Speaker 2: Sometimes they come through just to funck shuit up and

913
00:43:11,440 --> 00:43:12,160
Speaker 2: see if they can.

914
00:43:14,000 --> 00:43:15,480
Speaker 1: But I don't think this is the case. They look

915
00:43:15,520 --> 00:43:15,919
Speaker 1: good together.

916
00:43:16,040 --> 00:43:17,960
Speaker 3: We'll see, we.

917
00:43:17,719 --> 00:43:21,759
Speaker 1: Will pard to them. I want them to do well, y'all.

918
00:43:21,760 --> 00:43:23,640
Speaker 2: Listen, We're gonna take a break right quick, and when

919
00:43:23,680 --> 00:43:25,480
Speaker 2: we come back, I want to get into a little

920
00:43:25,560 --> 00:43:29,400
Speaker 2: quick dumbitch story from this weekend the show We'll be back.

921
00:43:30,960 --> 00:43:32,200
Speaker 3: Dumb bitch story.

922
00:43:32,920 --> 00:43:35,759
Speaker 1: So, because we've all been a dumb bitch at least

923
00:43:35,800 --> 00:43:36,680
Speaker 1: once or twice.

924
00:43:38,360 --> 00:43:41,879
Speaker 2: Y'all be back from break and I want to talk

925
00:43:41,880 --> 00:43:44,000
Speaker 2: about we had one dumb what we did do? We

926
00:43:44,040 --> 00:43:47,040
Speaker 2: asked the audience this weekend for a dumb bitch story, right,

927
00:43:47,120 --> 00:43:49,440
Speaker 2: So we did have a couple one. I didn't really

928
00:43:49,440 --> 00:43:53,080
Speaker 2: get to answer the girl's question. But so the first

929
00:43:53,160 --> 00:43:55,279
Speaker 2: dumb bitch story we know that was actually the second one.

930
00:43:55,360 --> 00:43:57,120
Speaker 2: So the second dumbitch story we had this girl she

931
00:43:57,120 --> 00:43:59,040
Speaker 2: said she was dating this guy for a long time,

932
00:43:59,080 --> 00:44:02,480
Speaker 2: didn't know he was married, and her question was, rather

933
00:44:02,560 --> 00:44:05,719
Speaker 2: or not she should tell his husband tell the wife, right,

934
00:44:06,600 --> 00:44:09,960
Speaker 2: and if you don't know about the other woman, like

935
00:44:10,040 --> 00:44:12,239
Speaker 2: if you didn't, if he just straight up lied, there

936
00:44:12,320 --> 00:44:14,600
Speaker 2: was no inkling that he could have possibly been in

937
00:44:14,600 --> 00:44:18,399
Speaker 2: a relationship with somebody else, maybe tell me personally. I'm

938
00:44:18,400 --> 00:44:20,759
Speaker 2: never telling nobody else. I'm like, let y'all deal with

939
00:44:20,760 --> 00:44:23,640
Speaker 2: that shit. But if he just if you knew about

940
00:44:23,680 --> 00:44:26,200
Speaker 2: the woman, then you don't tell. You don't fucking tell

941
00:44:26,280 --> 00:44:29,239
Speaker 2: and play your part. That's something that's what black shit like.

942
00:44:29,320 --> 00:44:31,600
Speaker 1: If you even if you didn't know at first, and

943
00:44:31,640 --> 00:44:33,640
Speaker 1: then you found out and stay for a little while,

944
00:44:33,640 --> 00:44:36,480
Speaker 1: you still don't tell because you were complicit in it

945
00:44:36,520 --> 00:44:40,719
Speaker 1: for amount of time. Don't tell if you didn't know

946
00:44:41,080 --> 00:44:43,240
Speaker 1: and he was just a complete liar and you found

947
00:44:43,280 --> 00:44:46,880
Speaker 1: out like some kind of way, right, you found out?

948
00:44:47,160 --> 00:44:48,400
Speaker 1: I personally wouldn't tell.

949
00:44:48,239 --> 00:44:51,360
Speaker 3: But the homegirl said she found out for her on Facebook.

950
00:44:51,480 --> 00:44:56,200
Speaker 1: I personally wouldn't tell, just because I just don't even

951
00:44:56,280 --> 00:44:58,440
Speaker 1: have the time to disrupt another black woman life in

952
00:44:58,480 --> 00:44:58,719
Speaker 1: that way.

953
00:44:58,760 --> 00:45:00,759
Speaker 2: We either bitch of call while you were at work

954
00:45:00,760 --> 00:45:04,520
Speaker 2: stressing out with some white people. Shit, and now you

955
00:45:04,640 --> 00:45:06,600
Speaker 2: fucking my day up because he ain't dropped, dick off,

956
00:45:06,640 --> 00:45:08,800
Speaker 2: like I feel some type of way about that. You

957
00:45:08,960 --> 00:45:13,000
Speaker 2: mad with my man, our man, you're mad with our man. Right,

958
00:45:13,040 --> 00:45:14,799
Speaker 2: he ain't do what he was supposed to do, and

959
00:45:14,840 --> 00:45:16,879
Speaker 2: now you wanna fuck my day up? And I feel

960
00:45:16,920 --> 00:45:19,040
Speaker 2: like they were being disingenuous. I'm gonna tell you why

961
00:45:19,719 --> 00:45:22,920
Speaker 2: if you are happy with somebody, why are y'all searching

962
00:45:22,960 --> 00:45:25,720
Speaker 2: for something? Why would y'all how would you have found

963
00:45:25,800 --> 00:45:28,279
Speaker 2: that on Facebook if you weren't searching for it? So

964
00:45:28,480 --> 00:45:32,359
Speaker 2: what made your homegirl search some shit for you? If

965
00:45:32,360 --> 00:45:34,719
Speaker 2: you really didn't know he was he was married, was

966
00:45:34,760 --> 00:45:37,080
Speaker 2: he absent a lot? Those are all signs like maybe

967
00:45:37,120 --> 00:45:39,080
Speaker 2: he didn't verbally tell you he was in a relationship

968
00:45:39,120 --> 00:45:43,399
Speaker 2: with somebody else, but he missed some holler, he missed

969
00:45:43,440 --> 00:45:48,680
Speaker 2: him exactly birthdays Valentine's Like, we always have nice good cues.

970
00:45:49,280 --> 00:45:51,200
Speaker 1: You know what I was. I was dating a guy.

971
00:45:51,280 --> 00:45:53,560
Speaker 1: Well we never we never took it to sex, and

972
00:45:53,600 --> 00:45:56,319
Speaker 1: it was just my body telling me, like something right

973
00:45:56,320 --> 00:45:59,000
Speaker 1: about this one, slow down, take your time. But he

974
00:45:59,120 --> 00:46:01,400
Speaker 1: was so nice. He was doing all the things and

975
00:46:01,480 --> 00:46:04,279
Speaker 1: saying all the right things and very very fine. Right,

976
00:46:04,480 --> 00:46:07,239
Speaker 1: this was a good looking man, and my pussy was

977
00:46:07,280 --> 00:46:08,960
Speaker 1: like thumping, like ooh, I want to give him some

978
00:46:09,520 --> 00:46:12,280
Speaker 1: but I didn't, right, baby, all right? So I didn't

979
00:46:12,320 --> 00:46:16,279
Speaker 1: go to his house because his house was being renovated

980
00:46:16,360 --> 00:46:19,560
Speaker 1: in soul or something. And then he had a son,

981
00:46:19,680 --> 00:46:22,279
Speaker 1: a living child, So I didn't want to go there

982
00:46:22,880 --> 00:46:24,640
Speaker 1: because I don't want to meet the kid yet, because

983
00:46:24,680 --> 00:46:26,520
Speaker 1: we are not there, right, I'm not trying to meet

984
00:46:26,560 --> 00:46:27,359
Speaker 1: your kids too soon.

985
00:46:27,520 --> 00:46:29,000
Speaker 3: Did he invite you to meet his kid?

986
00:46:29,280 --> 00:46:31,640
Speaker 1: No? No, no, But he he didn't invite me to

987
00:46:31,680 --> 00:46:33,840
Speaker 1: his house for that reason because we're both not ready

988
00:46:33,840 --> 00:46:40,160
Speaker 1: for that. But I, you know, something said, it's something

989
00:46:40,200 --> 00:46:43,120
Speaker 1: weird about this. So we had a mutual Facebook friend

990
00:46:43,440 --> 00:46:45,239
Speaker 1: who I'm real cool with, and I went to her

991
00:46:45,239 --> 00:46:47,600
Speaker 1: and I was like, what's what's up with old boy?

992
00:46:48,200 --> 00:46:52,439
Speaker 1: She was like, girl, he is very married. But we'd

993
00:46:52,520 --> 00:46:55,080
Speaker 1: be on the phone all night, facetiming in the middle

994
00:46:55,120 --> 00:46:57,759
Speaker 1: of the night and I'm like, if he's amazing, if

995
00:46:57,840 --> 00:47:01,360
Speaker 1: he's married, there's nowhere where's his wife? While we facetiming

996
00:47:01,760 --> 00:47:03,439
Speaker 1: at two in the morning, laying in the bed, falling

997
00:47:03,480 --> 00:47:06,240
Speaker 1: asleep on the phone. Baby, This woman was a whole

998
00:47:06,280 --> 00:47:11,680
Speaker 1: traveling nurse and she was out like working in California somewhere.

999
00:47:12,520 --> 00:47:14,560
Speaker 1: It made a whole lion and I was like, what

1000
00:47:14,640 --> 00:47:19,160
Speaker 1: was your And listen, he had like he had started

1001
00:47:19,200 --> 00:47:22,040
Speaker 1: falling back a little bit prior to that, just to

1002
00:47:22,040 --> 00:47:28,000
Speaker 1: come home. So and I guess he because he ain't

1003
00:47:28,080 --> 00:47:30,560
Speaker 1: hit it yet. I was like being very tight with

1004
00:47:30,600 --> 00:47:32,200
Speaker 1: a koochie or whatever, because I guess that was the

1005
00:47:32,239 --> 00:47:39,160
Speaker 1: plan that hit it by his businesspresentative. So I hit

1006
00:47:39,239 --> 00:47:41,280
Speaker 1: him up and I was like, yo, you you were married,

1007
00:47:41,360 --> 00:47:43,359
Speaker 1: Like what was your intentions, and I had told him, like,

1008
00:47:43,560 --> 00:47:46,839
Speaker 1: I meet so many men with bad intentions and it's

1009
00:47:46,880 --> 00:47:49,400
Speaker 1: just nice to meet someone who was genuine and good.

1010
00:47:49,640 --> 00:47:53,200
Speaker 1: And after that, he said, after you said that to me,

1011
00:47:53,239 --> 00:47:55,319
Speaker 1: it made me feel so bad and I ain't want

1012
00:47:55,320 --> 00:47:56,120
Speaker 1: to do you like that.

1013
00:47:57,440 --> 00:48:00,680
Speaker 3: Oh, so he was gonna fuck and just slither.

1014
00:48:03,360 --> 00:48:09,200
Speaker 1: That was just playing. Then It's so funny because there's

1015
00:48:09,280 --> 00:48:12,040
Speaker 1: a woman. We're all in this Facebook group. And then

1016
00:48:12,160 --> 00:48:16,680
Speaker 1: woman messaged me and she always be in my DM

1017
00:48:16,760 --> 00:48:18,920
Speaker 1: saying wild shit to me because I be on here

1018
00:48:18,920 --> 00:48:23,319
Speaker 1: playing gay and shit, she'd be saying so wild shit

1019
00:48:23,400 --> 00:48:25,520
Speaker 1: to me. And she is very beautiful woman, right, very

1020
00:48:25,520 --> 00:48:28,920
Speaker 1: pretty woman. And she said him and her was betting

1021
00:48:28,920 --> 00:48:31,200
Speaker 1: to see who could fuck me first.

1022
00:48:31,719 --> 00:48:34,160
Speaker 3: Yo, what is that crazy?

1023
00:48:35,080 --> 00:48:37,319
Speaker 1: Like, I'm getting out of this group. This place is

1024
00:48:37,360 --> 00:48:41,279
Speaker 1: not a safe place. Why is a married man in

1025
00:48:41,320 --> 00:48:43,200
Speaker 1: a group like that? What type of shit is this?

1026
00:48:43,280 --> 00:48:47,040
Speaker 3: Man? I'm beating my husband the fuck up you? Right?

1027
00:48:48,080 --> 00:48:49,520
Speaker 3: So I don't know where.

1028
00:48:49,320 --> 00:48:51,080
Speaker 1: That story was going. I just felt like I needed

1029
00:48:51,120 --> 00:48:53,719
Speaker 1: to share that that was in my spirit, that these

1030
00:48:53,760 --> 00:48:56,040
Speaker 1: men will be lying to you and acting like they's

1031
00:48:56,080 --> 00:48:56,960
Speaker 1: something that they're not.

1032
00:48:57,760 --> 00:48:59,000
Speaker 3: Man, you gotta have discernment.

1033
00:48:59,520 --> 00:49:01,839
Speaker 2: You gotta have discernment, and I feel like we could

1034
00:49:01,840 --> 00:49:03,560
Speaker 2: get the signs all the time we ignore them.

1035
00:49:03,680 --> 00:49:07,359
Speaker 1: But even after finding that out, there was no uh,

1036
00:49:08,320 --> 00:49:10,360
Speaker 1: there was no way I was gonna call his message

1037
00:49:10,400 --> 00:49:12,200
Speaker 1: his wife and tell her he was.

1038
00:49:12,160 --> 00:49:13,080
Speaker 3: I'm never doing that ship.

1039
00:49:13,120 --> 00:49:14,840
Speaker 2: That's why I said, like, bitch, you can come to

1040
00:49:14,880 --> 00:49:16,520
Speaker 2: me as a woman if you want, I'm coming as

1041
00:49:16,520 --> 00:49:19,640
Speaker 2: a sniper, because bitches be knowing maybe knowing so.

1042
00:49:20,280 --> 00:49:22,160
Speaker 1: But see, let's say I had went to her and

1043
00:49:22,200 --> 00:49:23,799
Speaker 1: told her what was going, she would assume that I

1044
00:49:23,840 --> 00:49:24,640
Speaker 1: was lying.

1045
00:49:24,560 --> 00:49:27,319
Speaker 2: Right, And that's another reason why I don't even if

1046
00:49:27,360 --> 00:49:29,200
Speaker 2: I see you a man, if you my best friend,

1047
00:49:29,320 --> 00:49:31,600
Speaker 2: like maybe, but even friends, like if I see your

1048
00:49:31,680 --> 00:49:33,720
Speaker 2: nigga doing some little slick ship, I'm mind my business.

1049
00:49:33,800 --> 00:49:36,400
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. Oh no, I'm telling if it's my business.

1050
00:49:36,440 --> 00:49:37,919
Speaker 1: First of all, if it's my best friend, I'm gonna

1051
00:49:38,080 --> 00:49:38,480
Speaker 1: like it's my.

1052
00:49:38,440 --> 00:49:41,800
Speaker 3: Best different having fun, No, that's different.

1053
00:49:41,880 --> 00:49:48,640
Speaker 1: I'm gonna fight this nigga like it's my man. Yeah,

1054
00:49:48,880 --> 00:49:53,120
Speaker 1: I swear to guy, he will beat your ass. Because

1055
00:49:53,120 --> 00:49:54,960
Speaker 1: that's how I'm talking about my best friends.

1056
00:49:55,160 --> 00:49:58,919
Speaker 2: Yeah, a best friend, yes, but like just friends acquaintances.

1057
00:49:58,960 --> 00:50:02,200
Speaker 2: I ain't telling nobody shoul it because I've seen women flip.

1058
00:50:02,640 --> 00:50:04,560
Speaker 2: They'll flip on your ass like you the problem I know.

1059
00:50:04,600 --> 00:50:07,080
Speaker 1: And then now you're not invited to the cookout. I've

1060
00:50:07,080 --> 00:50:08,360
Speaker 1: had that happen lead them people.

1061
00:50:08,520 --> 00:50:11,279
Speaker 3: She knew who she fucked with. That's one thing about it.

1062
00:50:11,320 --> 00:50:12,160
Speaker 3: We be knowing.

1063
00:50:12,800 --> 00:50:15,359
Speaker 2: So stop back like you ain't knowing and hitting that

1064
00:50:15,400 --> 00:50:17,960
Speaker 2: man wife up. Don't hit that man wife up about shit,

1065
00:50:23,200 --> 00:50:28,680
Speaker 2: y'all practicing some emotional intelligence, right, all right, y'all listen.

1066
00:50:29,000 --> 00:50:32,439
Speaker 2: So if you enjoyed this episode, please tune in every

1067
00:50:32,480 --> 00:50:35,520
Speaker 2: Thursday on the iHeartRadio app wherever the fuck you get

1068
00:50:35,520 --> 00:50:39,560
Speaker 2: your podcast at this your co host aj Holiday, y'all

1069
00:50:39,600 --> 00:50:43,160
Speaker 2: follow me on Instagram, check out we talked back eant

1070
00:50:43,400 --> 00:50:46,360
Speaker 2: dot com. We got some merchandise on there. Now it's alow,

1071
00:50:46,680 --> 00:50:49,480
Speaker 2: tiny bit, but some shit up there. We got our

1072
00:50:49,480 --> 00:50:53,360
Speaker 2: consultations too, So listen. You can schedule a call to

1073
00:50:53,400 --> 00:50:55,920
Speaker 2: speak with both of us, one of us, whatever it is.

1074
00:50:56,360 --> 00:50:59,719
Speaker 2: Schedule it through the do the website for whenever we

1075
00:50:59,719 --> 00:51:02,560
Speaker 2: are there. Over to be there on the calendar and

1076
00:51:02,640 --> 00:51:03,200
Speaker 2: had us up.

1077
00:51:04,040 --> 00:51:06,400
Speaker 1: You know, I would like to publicly apologize to you

1078
00:51:07,320 --> 00:51:10,440
Speaker 1: so at the live show at the end. Oh you

1079
00:51:10,440 --> 00:51:13,440
Speaker 1: saw the video, yeah, video, and I saw your face

1080
00:51:13,480 --> 00:51:15,960
Speaker 1: and you're like, the twit are you doing?

1081
00:51:16,480 --> 00:51:17,919
Speaker 3: That's emotional intelligence.

1082
00:51:18,520 --> 00:51:21,400
Speaker 1: So I apologize to you because I wasn't trying to

1083
00:51:21,440 --> 00:51:25,320
Speaker 1: like it was just a adrenaline pumping and I just went.

1084
00:51:25,400 --> 00:51:26,759
Speaker 3: You was in your element. It's fine.

1085
00:51:26,840 --> 00:51:28,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, so you god damn.

1086
00:51:28,560 --> 00:51:31,480
Speaker 3: I'm a j y'all. Thank you for coming.

1087
00:51:33,080 --> 00:51:34,719
Speaker 1: That's bad. That was our first show.

1088
00:51:34,880 --> 00:51:36,800
Speaker 2: So, like you know, I can't wait to do this

1089
00:51:36,840 --> 00:51:39,239
Speaker 2: ship though, I'm excited. I cannot wait to have our

1090
00:51:39,280 --> 00:51:43,640
Speaker 2: own live shows going, y'all. It's coming this year. Yeah,

1091
00:51:43,760 --> 00:51:45,600
Speaker 2: ship next month, we're gonna pull up. We might as

1092
00:51:45,600 --> 00:51:47,080
Speaker 2: well just throw one in Atlanta, throw.

1093
00:51:47,040 --> 00:51:50,160
Speaker 1: In Charlotte, yeah yep, and maybe go ahead to Miami.

1094
00:51:50,480 --> 00:51:52,200
Speaker 1: What they're talking about, Houston.

1095
00:51:52,000 --> 00:51:54,040
Speaker 3: Houston, Atlanta, Vegas. We all here, all.

1096
00:51:54,040 --> 00:51:56,239
Speaker 1: Right, y'all. I'm tam Bama. I love y'all. Remember to

1097
00:51:56,280 --> 00:51:56,719
Speaker 1: speak now

1098
00:51:56,960 --> 00:51:59,320
Speaker 3: And never hold your peace, deuces