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Speaker 1: Wind Down with Jana Kramer and Michael Kaufman and iHeart

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Speaker 1: Radio Podcast.

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Speaker 2: We have two more days until we're free.

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Speaker 3: But as you're saying earlier.

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Speaker 2: Well, no, they don't know what I was saying earlier.

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Speaker 3: Well, off air, it's going quick.

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Speaker 2: Off air, it was like doom and gloom, and I'm like,

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Speaker 2: what do you mean we're doing this? Once we said

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Speaker 2: the first three days were really hard, and then it

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Speaker 2: was like we need to, Like because I was talking

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Speaker 2: to my friend pamelin back home and I said, once

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Speaker 2: we set a schedule for each day, like, it just

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Speaker 2: helps everything. I think it helps my anxiety too. I'm like, okay,

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Speaker 2: I know from ten to eleven we're outside, eleven to

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Speaker 2: twelve is lunch, twelve thirty, j just goes down, you know.

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Speaker 2: And I feel like it's made the days go by

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Speaker 2: a lot faster.

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Speaker 3: It has what I'm realizing, my tape job on my

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Speaker 3: headphones is coming off with what is going on. What

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Speaker 3: I'm is, I'm like, why does this feel so different?

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Speaker 3: Because we spent so much the last year like not leaving,

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Speaker 3: not doing anything. But I'm like, well, last year we

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Speaker 3: could still technically leave the house, Like I still went

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Speaker 3: to the grocery.

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Speaker 2: Store and you went to home depot. I'm like, honey,

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Speaker 2: is that essential going down? She's like building this thing

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Speaker 2: for the kids. Absolutely?

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Speaker 3: Absolutely, And but I'm like, now these two weeks we

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Speaker 3: weren't allowed to go anywhere.

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Speaker 2: I mean, it's not it's not a recommended, it's a

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Speaker 2: you're staying or you'll go to jail for right six months.

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Speaker 3: It's like, if we want to run the risk.

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Speaker 2: I'm dying, doant drink some mon?

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Speaker 3: Oh my god?

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Speaker 2: Your so.

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Speaker 3: Okay? Yeah, we run the risk of someone actually coming

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Speaker 3: to the house and doing like a house call and

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Speaker 3: checking it we're here.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, oh which, sorry, that just scared me. I'm like,

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Speaker 2: I think they just showed up.

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Speaker 3: Is your wardrobe guy?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? So yeah, it's it's been and that part, that

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Speaker 2: part was what was giving me anxiety. But at the

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Speaker 2: same time, there's people online that were like, stop complaining,

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Speaker 2: like we're all in a pandemic right now, We're all

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Speaker 2: can't we all can't leave. And I'm like, that's technically not.

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Speaker 2: I mean in California you can't really, but it's like

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Speaker 2: you're still go somewhere right, No.

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Speaker 3: One, here's the thing again, here's the difference. No one's

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Speaker 3: gonna possibly show up at your door to make sure

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Speaker 3: you're at home. You have the freedom to leave. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: in theory we could, but we run the risk of

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Speaker 3: getting like a seven hundred and fifty thousand dollars fine

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Speaker 3: or possible imprisonment. I really don't want to do that.

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Speaker 2: No, and we've already done it like we're used to.

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Speaker 2: I think what I said to someone, I was like, honestly,

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Speaker 2: it's just about the comfort of your own home. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: I know we talked about that last week, but I uh, yeah,

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Speaker 2: I feel like wherever I am with y'all is home.

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Speaker 3: We do a good job at making that happen for

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Speaker 3: ourselves and for the kids.

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Speaker 2: And I'm sorry to Peter, but Wednesday we're going to

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Speaker 2: the zoo. I got us lined up to go to

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Speaker 2: the van Uber Zoo on Wednesday, nice little tour. I'm like, well,

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Speaker 2: you know what's so ironically sad about that? What I

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Speaker 2: just thought of it, This is terrible. We're free that day,

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Speaker 2: but the animals are not free, you know. We're like,

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Speaker 2: we're basically the caged animals right now.

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Speaker 3: So what you're saying when we go to the zoo

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Speaker 3: and we're cast suck at line. We're free.

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Speaker 2: No, but I feel bad. No, but I genuinely feel bad.

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Speaker 2: Now now I get it, like I'm a we're zoo goers.

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Speaker 3: We are we are zoo goers, and.

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Speaker 2: Now I'm oh my god. They live that life every day.

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Speaker 2: They can't roam free, they can't. I feel terrible.

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Speaker 3: You can all of a sudden become a non zoo goer.

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Speaker 2: Peta, Yeah, I feel terrible now after we go to

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Speaker 2: Vancouverso yeah, after because I need to get out.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. So we celebrated Valentine's Day in lockdown quarantine and

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Speaker 3: we made them most of it.

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Speaker 2: Last Valentine's Day we were also well, it was pretty

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Speaker 2: much like well, we weren't locked down yet because that

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Speaker 2: was March, but we spent it at home. Remember, we

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Speaker 2: made homemade pasta and we ended up having to so

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Speaker 2: last Valentine's Day, Mike was really wanting wanting it to

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Speaker 2: be special because we just kind of went through a

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Speaker 2: little thing last January, and he was just he was

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Speaker 2: putting so much pressure to make homemade pasta and basically

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Speaker 2: it ended up looking like yogurt.

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Speaker 3: Well, no, I just I second guessed myself because I

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Speaker 3: was going by this recipe, and the recipe was like, oh, basically,

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Speaker 3: you don't have to boil the pasta before you put

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Speaker 3: it in the pot with the sauce. I was like,

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Speaker 3: what that doesn't make freaking sense. But all right, like

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Speaker 3: who am I to say otherwise? And then it's just

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Speaker 3: like doughey, limp noodles.

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Speaker 2: No, it wasn't. It was one big bowl.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, it was like we were noodles back to

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Speaker 3: their home, which became one big ball of dough.

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Speaker 2: Oh were those things that my grandma used to make dumplings? Dumplings?

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Speaker 2: They looks like one big dumpling.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. So we ended up ordering food.

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Speaker 2: No, we ended up making well, yeah, so yeah, we

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Speaker 2: ended up making or No, we ended up ordering from

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Speaker 2: a place in Nashville. But this so this Valentine's Day,

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Speaker 2: I was like, babe, let's just get pre made noodles,

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Speaker 2: let's get some fasta sauce.

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Speaker 3: You're lucky we're not home. I'll totally try to redo

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Speaker 3: it and do it right this time.

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Speaker 2: But it was great. A little bath, a little airwork.

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Speaker 3: It was a good day.

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Speaker 2: I wonder though, because a lot of people don't like

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Speaker 2: to celebrate Valentine's Day because they call it like a

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Speaker 2: hallmark holiday.

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Speaker 3: It is.

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Speaker 2: I mean, well, then what's Mother's Day?

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Speaker 3: Appreciate mothers?

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Speaker 2: Well, then what's Valentine's Day? A day to appreciate your.

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Speaker 3: Day for making money for all these companies Christmas?

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Speaker 2: Remember we learned about Christmas what Christmas was when we

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Speaker 2: were watching the Scrooge and we looked at when did

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Speaker 2: Christmas actually start? And was to make money for the companies?

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Speaker 2: Remember when we looked that up. So it's like the

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Speaker 2: same thing. I mean, it's all essentially the same.

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Speaker 3: Well, no, our question was when did Christmas become commercialized? Right?

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Speaker 2: But it became commercialized because of the money and right.

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Speaker 3: But there's still you know, the wise men brought gifts.

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Speaker 2: Why are men so against Valentine's Day? Like you're fighting Valide?

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Speaker 3: Because here's the deal. Here's the deal. It's not really

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Speaker 3: a if you.

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Speaker 2: Say here's the deal twice or like more serious, No,

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Speaker 2: if I.

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Speaker 3: Say it three times and I'm really serious. So here's

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Speaker 3: the deal. It's they don't put a name on it,

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Speaker 3: and it's in terms of Mother's Day or Father's Day

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Speaker 3: where it's one specific person. Right, But the way society

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Speaker 3: has been it puts the pressure on the mail to

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Speaker 3: have a you know, give a great gesture of love

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Speaker 3: and the women just naturally are the receivers of that,

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Speaker 3: and it's like false. Wait a second. You get your birthday,

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Speaker 3: you get Mother's Day for your mother, we get Christmas anniversaries.

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Speaker 3: You're telling me that we have to take another day

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Speaker 3: out of a month and say, hey, honey, here's all

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Speaker 3: the stuff to show that I love you.

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Speaker 2: Because you don't have to be money. You could just

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Speaker 2: write a nice handwritten card and say I really value

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Speaker 2: and love you and you're my Valentine.

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Speaker 3: Mark. Done good.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I've never asked for any gift on Valentine's The

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Speaker 2: only reason you got me last year was because you

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Speaker 2: ruined Christmas and got me a biday for Christmas.

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Speaker 3: Okay, some cultures, that's a win.

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Speaker 4: Mark.

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Speaker 3: Can you back me up on this? Do you feel

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Speaker 3: more pressure that's next for you? Do you feel more

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Speaker 3: pressure as a male for Valentine's Day? I do.

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Speaker 1: First of all, I'm very much enjoying the show. I

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Speaker 1: was muted, but I was laughing out loud. So I

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Speaker 1: just wanted you guys to know that I think that

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Speaker 1: they're all Hallmark holidays. All holidays are made up, so

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Speaker 1: I don't see why one is more than the other.

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Speaker 1: So I don't know that I can go with you

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Speaker 1: on that, Michael. No one really knows when Jesus was born.

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Speaker 3: They just picked a day.

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Speaker 1: But yes, there's a lot of pressure. And I have

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Speaker 1: an issue because my wife's birthday is two weeks before

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Speaker 1: Valentine's Day and it's all right after Christmas, so it's

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Speaker 1: like three under row bam bam bama. So I gotta

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Speaker 1: plot it out. I gotta start planning, and I got to, like,

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Speaker 1: you know, I have a list in my notes section

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Speaker 1: in my phone where I can like organize what goes

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Speaker 1: to what birthday and what goes to Valentine's Day and

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Speaker 1: what goes to Christmas.

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Speaker 3: Otherwise I'm going to be out of luck.

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Speaker 2: Welcome to being a woman. We have that, I have that,

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Speaker 2: like the whole year planned out, like Father's Day, that

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Speaker 2: his birthday. I mean, that's just what a woman does.

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Speaker 2: And I'm proud of you that you even have that,

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Speaker 2: because I have to be like Mike, write it down.

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Speaker 2: I would like it.

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Speaker 3: The last time I did that, I got her bed

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Speaker 3: day and she hated it because.

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Speaker 2: I didn't ask for it, did you kid? Oh my God.

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Speaker 2: I literally said, we're going to go back to you, Mark,

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Speaker 2: but I know joke. We were at a friend's house

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Speaker 2: and I was like, ooh, this warm seat feels really nice.

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Speaker 2: You said I didn't want nice as my main gift

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Speaker 2: for Christmas.

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Speaker 3: Your driver to pick and chooese. I'm the gonna give it.

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Speaker 3: It was just the warmth of the seat.

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Speaker 2: It wasn't that I don't like. I don't even use

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Speaker 2: the spritzer. I don't use the spritzer. I just like

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Speaker 2: a heated seat. I like it. I like I like

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Speaker 2: a good old heated seat. But I didn't want it

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Speaker 2: for Christmas.

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Speaker 3: And so the only said a lot of money on

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Speaker 3: that one, Mike, I don't know, because then I ended

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Speaker 3: up paying having to pay for it to double down

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Speaker 3: this last Christmas too.

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Speaker 2: Oh it needed to be spectacular.

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Speaker 3: And I killed it.

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Speaker 2: So it's okay, no, but that's the thing. And this

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Speaker 2: is what I told him, because we actually got into

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Speaker 2: a huge fight about it because he's like, I was like, you,

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Speaker 2: what you don't get and what you're missing is that

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Speaker 2: it doesn't matter how much you spend. I mean, sure,

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Speaker 2: diamonds are great. Every woman loves diamonds. I was like,

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Speaker 2: it's the intention, the intent and the intention behind the gift.

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Speaker 2: He got me this thing from probably uncommon goods. It

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Speaker 2: probably was like maybe a hundred bucks, and it was

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Speaker 2: the most thoughtful gift I've ever gotten from him. It

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Speaker 2: was like it was a Chicago map where we met.

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Speaker 2: It was like a little heart pin and I it

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Speaker 2: was just like, Wow, that's so sweet, and I'm like,

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Speaker 2: I love that more than the diamond this you gave

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Speaker 2: to me that I wear once, you know. So it's

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Speaker 2: truly for women. It's about the intention, and I think

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Speaker 2: going back to Valentine's Day, it's just about appreciation and

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Speaker 2: telling that person you appreciate them and that you love them.

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Speaker 2: That you don't have to do grand gestures. But sure,

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Speaker 2: I'm so sorry that we get four things out of

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Speaker 2: the year to show that it should be every day

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Speaker 2: and that.

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Speaker 3: You should Valentine's Day and that of course defense rest.

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Speaker 2: No, no, no, you're no no. What I'm saying is

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Speaker 2: like we should have we should have every day. You

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Speaker 2: should show us that you appreciate and love us and

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Speaker 2: write little sweet notes. But can you at least do

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Speaker 2: four out of three hundred and sixty five or however

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Speaker 2: many days there are in a year.

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Speaker 3: Well, we don't get actually better when we do do

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Speaker 3: more than.

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Speaker 2: That, Sure you do. We're a lot softer and nicer.

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Speaker 2: What are you laughing at, Mark.

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Speaker 3: I'm just enjoying this. This is I mean, because you

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Speaker 3: make really good points. You both make a really good point.

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Speaker 4: All right.

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Speaker 3: You know what, Mark, I'm going to put that to

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Speaker 3: the test in the year twenty twenty one where Valentine's

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Speaker 3: or we already did Valentine's and I had no choice

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Speaker 3: but to be just sentimental and cheap. But move forward

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Speaker 3: Mother's Day, birthday, anniversary.

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Speaker 2: And I'm not saying you have to be I'm just saying,

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Speaker 2: like there's.

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Speaker 3: I'm gonna go super inexpensive and just sentimental. And guess

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Speaker 3: what one of those days is going to be a

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Speaker 3: lottery pick where she's gonna get the grand slam of

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Speaker 3: no material gift. All she's gonna get is eye contact

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Speaker 3: intentional words. I'm saying, Honey, I love, I appreciate you

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Speaker 3: so much, and that'll be your gift. It's got to

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Speaker 3: be written down.

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Speaker 2: Already down to you like you sound kind of like

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Speaker 2: you sound kind of arrogant right now, like you got

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Speaker 2: it at least like like I said, frame it, you know,

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Speaker 2: and I did that and it was amazing. It was

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Speaker 2: my favorite gift. And I still haven't.

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Speaker 3: You just said, you said, how do I sound arrogant?

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Speaker 2: Well, you just sound kind of like like we don't

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Speaker 2: deserve I'm gonna write something down and make a card.

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Speaker 3: I'm not saying that that's part of it. I'm saying,

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Speaker 3: if you really think there's no material isn't behind it?

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Speaker 2: For Valentine's Day? No, I don't think so. For a birthday?

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Speaker 2: And for Christmas, yeah, I think you know something nice,

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Speaker 2: you know, if that's what we agree on. If not

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Speaker 2: for like kay, let's just do the deck next year,

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Speaker 2: then we agree on it. But I'm not that girl

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Speaker 2: to say I want a deck for Christmas, you know,

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Speaker 2: like most couples say, like it's our couch. I don't

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Speaker 2: want a couch for Christmas, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 2: I would like a nice pair of shoes. I don't

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Speaker 2: want to be like, well we had we spent a

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Speaker 2: lot of money on the couch this year. When you

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Speaker 2: buy yourself ten guns, you know. Anyways, I rest my case,

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Speaker 2: and now we're gonna get comments of how materialistic and

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Speaker 2: whatever we are.

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Speaker 1: No I think you make a good point. I think

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Speaker 1: it's a combination. It's got to be sentimental. But gifts

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Speaker 1: are nice. Everyone loves getting gifts. Valentine's Day, Birthday, Mother's Day,

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Speaker 1: the four days a year, guys have to step up.

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Speaker 1: I think that's the message.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, And that's the thing. I have no issue with it.

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Speaker 3: It's hmm, or don't.

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Speaker 2: Sound like you have an issue, like you get.

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Speaker 4: Four days out of the year.

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Speaker 3: Where I have the issue is when at times women

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Speaker 3: will say, oh, it's not about this, it's not about that.

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Speaker 3: I just want to know I'm appreciated. I don't know

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Speaker 3: it yet, No, no matter what it is, and or

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Speaker 3: even we even said who is it? Your brother? Your

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Speaker 3: brother and his fiancee. They even said, hey, don't get it.

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Speaker 3: Don't She even said, don't get me a gift, and

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Speaker 3: he said okay. And the day come, he didn't get

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Speaker 3: her a gift, she said, and she got him with

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Speaker 3: she said, what the where's my gift? He said, you

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Speaker 3: told me not to get you a gift.

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Speaker 2: Well, that's different. I've never told you not to get

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Speaker 2: me something.

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Speaker 3: I agree. I'm not saying you have I'm just saying

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Speaker 3: women in general, this Yeah, that is a thing out

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Speaker 3: there where if men, if you and I agreed, hey,

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Speaker 3: let's not get an any you know, get each other

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Speaker 3: anything for Christmas. As a guy, I'll be like, Okay,

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Speaker 3: we're not getting each other anything for Christmas. You knowing you,

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Speaker 3: you'd probably still get me something.

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Speaker 2: Of course I would, because I appreciate you. That's the thing.

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Speaker 2: It's about appreciation and being like I appreciate you. Whether

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Speaker 2: it's five hundred dollars or five bucks, it's showing appreciation.

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Speaker 3: But what if we agreed not to get each.

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Speaker 2: I still think you still get something small? God, we

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Speaker 2: do so much like we do, We do so much,

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Speaker 2: and we all we get are four days. Some only

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Speaker 2: get three if they're not a mom.

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Speaker 3: You know, well anyway, two each their own.

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Speaker 2: I would like to start throwing myself half birthdays now,

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Speaker 2: just to prove, just to prove my point of appreciation.

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Speaker 2: We're going to celebrate my half birthday.

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Speaker 3: Bring it. I'm ready, all.

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Speaker 2: Right, Mike intro, our amazing guests for today.

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Speaker 3: All right. Speaking that doing too much, this is a

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Speaker 3: lady that knows how to do too much successfully. Miss

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Speaker 3: Nicole Walters. She was a former employee for a Fortune

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Speaker 3: five hundred company, decided to leave that company and start

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Speaker 3: her own business and became the CEO and founder of

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Speaker 3: her business, which is called Inherit Learning Company, you know,

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Speaker 3: in that she specializes in UH business development training, strategic

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Speaker 3: coaching for emerging entrepreneurs and established business owners. So we're

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Speaker 3: going to have her on and let her teach us

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Speaker 3: all about that and pick her brain.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, they also have a show her and her family.

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Speaker 2: She's called She's the boss on USA, right, and the

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Speaker 2: girls that she has they're actually adopted. So I'm excited

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Speaker 2: to hear about that story. And then I also want

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Speaker 2: to ask her to she quit her job like on

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Speaker 2: like online basically, I mean in front of people.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, just kind of like I'm curious.

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Speaker 2: To ask her that. So we'll take one more break

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Speaker 2: and then we'll get her on.

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Speaker 4: Hello.

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Speaker 2: Hi, I'm so sorry we made you wait? That are okay?

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Speaker 2: I apologize, I apologize, I apologize.

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Speaker 4: Don't be don't even I'm the person who's like, please

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Speaker 4: don't send me gifts because I'll never send you thank

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Speaker 4: you Notes's let's just own who we are. It's a pandemic,

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Speaker 4: you know.

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Speaker 2: It's so funny about the and like we can just

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Speaker 2: let's just go right into it. But thank you cards.

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Speaker 2: I'm terrible with thank you cards. Yes, I like, can

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Speaker 2: I just text you?

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Speaker 4: No?

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Speaker 2: That's the thing like if kids' birthday parties, I'm like,

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Speaker 2: I don't have the time. I feel bad, but thanks

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Speaker 2: for the unicorn for my daughter, right right exactly.

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Speaker 4: I'm always like, why are you even putting me in

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Speaker 4: this position? I need thank you cardless friendships. I need

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Speaker 4: you to understand I don't want that pressure, you know,

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Speaker 4: because it's it's the layers to a thank you card.

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Speaker 4: It's I need stamps, I have to get to a

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Speaker 4: post office. Well why stamps? Like what is that?

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Speaker 2: I well, And here's the thing too with that is

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Speaker 2: I'm like, when I get a thank you card, it

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Speaker 2: doesn't do anything for me, you know. So I'm like,

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Speaker 2: I just I personally am like, well, of course you

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Speaker 2: you're thankful that I you know, like you don't need

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Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm always and I say to my friends, like,

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Speaker 2: you don't need to write a think you card? Like

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Speaker 2: do not write a.

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Speaker 4: Thank you card? Yes, it's pressure because.

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Speaker 2: I'm like and I'm like, it's just wasteless, and like

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Speaker 2: I got time to I got to open it. Up.

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Speaker 3: I compare it to ringing the doorbell, right. I always

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Speaker 3: make the joke like if you ring our doorbell, that

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Speaker 3: means you don't belong here. You walk in. You either

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Speaker 3: know the door code or you just walk in. So

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Speaker 3: if you send me a thank you card, we're not friends.

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Speaker 3: You don't know us exactly right.

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Speaker 4: It's like, honestly, whenever I get a card, I kind

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Speaker 4: of recondo it. I'm like, I hold it to my

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Speaker 4: heart and I'm like, Okay, sentiment received, and then I

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Speaker 4: throw it in the trash, Like what am I supposed

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Speaker 4: to do with this thing? You know? I know, I

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Speaker 4: get it.

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Speaker 2: I know we're getting super off topic, but it's kind

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Speaker 2: of the same thing. Even like I love doing the

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Speaker 2: Christmas cards, but we don't have anywhere to put them,

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Speaker 2: so I just feel bad like putting people in a drawer,

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Speaker 2: do you.

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Speaker 4: Know what I mean? Like their whole family in the drawer,

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Speaker 4: every single piece of it.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that's the one that even this past year, I

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Speaker 3: was like, Jane, we need like one of those little

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Speaker 3: decorative like trees to put it on, because that's the one.

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Speaker 3: I do feel bad because I know we go and

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Speaker 3: actually these pictures and people put effort and pay money

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Speaker 3: to have them professionally done, right, And so I'm like, yeah,

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Speaker 3: I don't want to be throwing in a drawer money

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Speaker 3: and think.

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Speaker 4: About it like I have to buy furniture to display

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Speaker 4: your photo at this point, Like I mean, if you

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Speaker 4: don't put me in that position, you know what I mean?

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Speaker 4: This is supposed to be a relationship of depth, Like

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Speaker 4: what do we do except it virtually where I can

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Speaker 4: then add it to a nice little folder, you know

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Speaker 4: what I mean, post it on my page, let the

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Speaker 4: world know how cute, and then we move on with

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Speaker 4: our lives. Like it's what it is. I get it,

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Speaker 4: you guys, get me listen.

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Speaker 2: Thanks for coming on our show already. You're just I mean,

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Speaker 2: you're a total boss. Can we just back up for

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Speaker 2: a second though, because I mean, we insured you in

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Speaker 2: the very beginning, but you quit your job online.

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Speaker 4: I did live in front of ten thousand people because

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Speaker 4: were you?

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Speaker 2: Just like I'm done, drop the mic, like what did

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Speaker 2: you like?

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Speaker 4: What was your classy? Like? I was raised right, just

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Speaker 4: like I don't show up at people's houses unannounced, you know,

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Speaker 4: you know, I was like raised right. No, it was

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Speaker 4: a situ situation where I already had built a place

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Speaker 4: for me to go, so like I was going to

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Speaker 4: hire myself, Like I knew that I had a thing

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Speaker 4: out of myself. Yeah, I had a plan. So it

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Speaker 4: was really just I called my boss and I said, hey,

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Speaker 4: you know, this isn't an alignment, you know I'm It

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Speaker 4: was actually people don't know this. It was right before

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Speaker 4: a performance review, so like my annual performance review, and

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Speaker 4: he was like, oh, I'm so excited to talk to

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Speaker 4: you about all the cool new things for that coming year.

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Speaker 4: And I was like, pump the brakes on that because

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Speaker 4: I'm not going to be here.

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Speaker 3: And that was that I might have if I was

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Speaker 3: in your shoes. I ought to wait for the performance

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Speaker 3: review just to get that validation, right because you know,

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Speaker 3: you probably you know, you probably killed it. Like Nicole,

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Speaker 3: you are amazing. We can't we see our future with you.

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Speaker 3: Thank you so much. By the way, I'm.

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00:19:43,160 --> 00:19:45,639
Speaker 4: Out right right right right. It's like, oh, well, it's

437
00:19:45,680 --> 00:19:47,680
Speaker 4: really funny you say that because I'll be transitioning all

438
00:19:47,680 --> 00:19:50,720
Speaker 4: my logins because yeah, I'm not going to be here.

439
00:19:50,640 --> 00:19:52,639
Speaker 2: So what made you want to do that in front

440
00:19:52,680 --> 00:19:54,600
Speaker 2: of ten thousand people? Like what was that?

441
00:19:55,560 --> 00:19:58,520
Speaker 4: Wow? The incentive so I mean, like, obviously you've had

442
00:19:58,520 --> 00:20:00,520
Speaker 4: the people who are like the flight attendant to like,

443
00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:04,119
Speaker 4: you know, dispatch the emergency thing, and it wasn't one

444
00:20:04,200 --> 00:20:06,800
Speaker 4: of those. Like what it was was I'd been detailing

445
00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:09,399
Speaker 4: my journey online already, so like people saw me building

446
00:20:09,440 --> 00:20:12,320
Speaker 4: the business and getting clients and like I was already

447
00:20:12,320 --> 00:20:15,120
Speaker 4: sharing that. And so the truth was I wasn't planning

448
00:20:15,119 --> 00:20:17,159
Speaker 4: on sharing my quick day ever, Like that was not

449
00:20:17,240 --> 00:20:20,679
Speaker 4: a thing. But I told everyone, Hey, I'm doing it today.

450
00:20:20,840 --> 00:20:23,280
Speaker 4: I'll be back later to let you know how it goes.

451
00:20:23,520 --> 00:20:25,800
Speaker 4: And everyone was like, no, no, no, no, no, keep

452
00:20:25,880 --> 00:20:28,679
Speaker 4: us on the line. We've been following the journey. We

453
00:20:28,720 --> 00:20:30,480
Speaker 4: want to watch it live. So that's what happened. They

454
00:20:30,560 --> 00:20:31,400
Speaker 4: end up seeing the whole thing.

455
00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:33,120
Speaker 2: I love that.

456
00:20:33,119 --> 00:20:33,800
Speaker 3: That's very crazy.

457
00:20:33,840 --> 00:20:34,600
Speaker 4: It's crazy.

458
00:20:34,760 --> 00:20:37,440
Speaker 2: And now you have a show. That's when is it airing?

459
00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:38,560
Speaker 2: It's on USA, right.

460
00:20:38,760 --> 00:20:42,040
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's on USA. It's airing on February twenty fifth

461
00:20:42,080 --> 00:20:45,280
Speaker 4: at ten thirty pm Eastern on USA network.

462
00:20:45,440 --> 00:20:50,000
Speaker 2: Okay, and then you have three three kids and they're adopted.

463
00:20:50,400 --> 00:20:54,679
Speaker 2: We read that right, So you did you try to

464
00:20:54,760 --> 00:20:56,840
Speaker 2: have kids and you didn't or was it just adoption?

465
00:20:56,920 --> 00:20:58,720
Speaker 2: You always wanted to do that and that was just

466
00:20:58,880 --> 00:21:00,480
Speaker 2: your route neither.

467
00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:03,320
Speaker 4: So we had pretty much said to ourselves, we're not

468
00:21:03,359 --> 00:21:05,920
Speaker 4: even going to try until we're I'm like thirty two,

469
00:21:06,119 --> 00:21:08,080
Speaker 4: you know, let's hang out, let's be married, then you know,

470
00:21:08,119 --> 00:21:11,359
Speaker 4: get stuff done. And then we actually got our kids

471
00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:14,400
Speaker 4: by we were driving in Baltimore City and we met

472
00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:16,440
Speaker 4: a woman on the side of the street and she

473
00:21:16,520 --> 00:21:20,199
Speaker 4: was panhandled. I'm so serious, like she's panhandling with her

474
00:21:20,359 --> 00:21:23,359
Speaker 4: with her three year old. And so we were talking

475
00:21:23,359 --> 00:21:25,040
Speaker 4: to her and she mentioned she had two more kids

476
00:21:25,119 --> 00:21:27,440
Speaker 4: at home, so we were like, well, maybe we can

477
00:21:27,480 --> 00:21:30,800
Speaker 4: help mentor get you guys some groceries. And long story short,

478
00:21:30,800 --> 00:21:32,480
Speaker 4: we found out she was going to jail a year

479
00:21:32,520 --> 00:21:35,040
Speaker 4: after that, and or not a year, I'm sorry, a

480
00:21:35,040 --> 00:21:37,960
Speaker 4: month after that, and we said, okay, well what's the

481
00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:39,879
Speaker 4: plan with the kids and she said, I don't know,

482
00:21:39,920 --> 00:21:42,560
Speaker 4: and we said, okay, well we'll take them. So from

483
00:21:42,600 --> 00:21:44,359
Speaker 4: the moment we were on the side of the street,

484
00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:47,760
Speaker 4: thirty days later, we had the kids and we still

485
00:21:47,760 --> 00:21:54,959
Speaker 4: have them and now I'm mom, not mentor wowntids. Yeah,

486
00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:57,200
Speaker 4: so we had it was a three year old and

487
00:21:57,280 --> 00:21:59,920
Speaker 4: eleven year old and a fourteen year old all girls sister,

488
00:22:00,480 --> 00:22:05,080
Speaker 4: Oh my goodness, Oh no, I'm not. Absolutely. I actively

489
00:22:05,119 --> 00:22:08,080
Speaker 4: try to keep them from licking outlets, you know, I

490
00:22:08,119 --> 00:22:11,720
Speaker 4: like I criticized even the fourteen year old right. Literally,

491
00:22:11,800 --> 00:22:14,280
Speaker 4: kids are trying to kill themselves constantly, and like you know,

492
00:22:14,680 --> 00:22:17,720
Speaker 4: I'm always criticizing their eyebrows because that's like a family value.

493
00:22:17,880 --> 00:22:20,880
Speaker 4: So I'm very as a mom. I do the best

494
00:22:21,040 --> 00:22:21,320
Speaker 4: I can.

495
00:22:22,920 --> 00:22:25,199
Speaker 3: Don't lie, eat right, and make sure your eyebrows are

496
00:22:25,240 --> 00:22:26,440
Speaker 3: makes so you.

497
00:22:26,400 --> 00:22:28,680
Speaker 4: Get it, so so you get it clearly.

498
00:22:28,920 --> 00:22:30,760
Speaker 3: Are you in Are you located in Baltimore?

499
00:22:31,440 --> 00:22:33,800
Speaker 4: No, so we move from Baltimore to Atlanta, Georgia. So

500
00:22:33,840 --> 00:22:37,760
Speaker 4: I'm now like officially Southern. I use y'all periodically, you know,

501
00:22:38,080 --> 00:22:38,480
Speaker 4: I fit.

502
00:22:39,760 --> 00:22:41,040
Speaker 3: Are you from the Baltimore area?

503
00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:43,400
Speaker 4: I am so like I was born and raised in DC,

504
00:22:43,680 --> 00:22:46,800
Speaker 4: went to Hopkins and like you know, my husband's University

505
00:22:46,800 --> 00:22:49,160
Speaker 4: of Maryland, that whole thing. But I'm a Southern girl

506
00:22:49,200 --> 00:22:54,200
Speaker 4: at heart, like entirely like love country music, love like all.

507
00:22:54,320 --> 00:22:56,280
Speaker 4: Like I was the girl at the front row of

508
00:22:56,320 --> 00:22:59,880
Speaker 4: a Chris Young concert in Richmond, right, black girl cow.

509
00:23:00,080 --> 00:23:01,919
Speaker 4: I had singing every lyric and people are like, what

510
00:23:01,920 --> 00:23:03,600
Speaker 4: are you talking about? You know, but I'm like, you

511
00:23:03,600 --> 00:23:05,240
Speaker 4: don't know me. This is my life.

512
00:23:06,400 --> 00:23:09,640
Speaker 3: So give our listeners kind of like your elevator pitch

513
00:23:09,800 --> 00:23:12,199
Speaker 3: of what your business you started and created is.

514
00:23:12,960 --> 00:23:15,560
Speaker 4: Yeah. So when I quit my job, I basically quit

515
00:23:15,640 --> 00:23:18,159
Speaker 4: because what I realized was my friends who were bloggers

516
00:23:18,160 --> 00:23:21,080
Speaker 4: and New York Times bestsellers and on TV and all

517
00:23:21,119 --> 00:23:23,399
Speaker 4: that they were doing a great job doing their craft,

518
00:23:23,440 --> 00:23:26,080
Speaker 4: which was writing books or being on TV or writing

519
00:23:26,080 --> 00:23:29,000
Speaker 4: their blog, but they were trash at making money like

520
00:23:29,080 --> 00:23:32,199
Speaker 4: it just they had no corporate skills and frankly, they

521
00:23:32,240 --> 00:23:34,200
Speaker 4: weren't supposed to be. And a lot of people beat

522
00:23:34,240 --> 00:23:36,040
Speaker 4: themselves up because they're like, I don't know how to

523
00:23:36,080 --> 00:23:38,480
Speaker 4: profit from my skills for my gifts. I just know

524
00:23:38,520 --> 00:23:40,199
Speaker 4: how to do the thing I do well, and I

525
00:23:40,240 --> 00:23:42,760
Speaker 4: know that I need or they're all smart enough. Most

526
00:23:42,800 --> 00:23:44,560
Speaker 4: of us are smart enough to realize I need more

527
00:23:44,600 --> 00:23:46,879
Speaker 4: money coming from different places, but we don't know how

528
00:23:46,920 --> 00:23:49,199
Speaker 4: to do it. So that's what I do. I opened

529
00:23:49,280 --> 00:23:52,520
Speaker 4: up an online school called one K One Day Academy,

530
00:23:52,920 --> 00:23:55,160
Speaker 4: and basically that's what I do is I walk people

531
00:23:55,160 --> 00:23:57,800
Speaker 4: through education courses much like college, but it's like the

532
00:23:57,840 --> 00:24:00,120
Speaker 4: stuff you actually need, where I show you how to

533
00:24:00,160 --> 00:24:03,040
Speaker 4: do everything from building online store to sourcing it with

534
00:24:03,119 --> 00:24:05,960
Speaker 4: products to opening up a business bank account, just like

535
00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:08,240
Speaker 4: the real skills you need to have. So that that way,

536
00:24:08,240 --> 00:24:10,439
Speaker 4: if you're an influencer, you're actually getting paid.

537
00:24:11,040 --> 00:24:11,720
Speaker 2: That's awesome.

538
00:24:12,520 --> 00:24:14,280
Speaker 4: Thanks, It makes a lot of sense.

539
00:24:14,920 --> 00:24:15,240
Speaker 3: It does.

540
00:24:15,280 --> 00:24:17,600
Speaker 2: And it's like, you know the fact that you know

541
00:24:17,840 --> 00:24:22,439
Speaker 2: it's attainable too, you know, oh totally. It's helping people

542
00:24:23,640 --> 00:24:26,000
Speaker 2: the steps of what they need to do to you know,

543
00:24:26,880 --> 00:24:27,960
Speaker 2: get ahead, to get ahead.

544
00:24:28,040 --> 00:24:28,240
Speaker 4: Yeah.

545
00:24:28,280 --> 00:24:31,399
Speaker 3: From yea from a motivational standpoint, let me ask this

546
00:24:31,560 --> 00:24:33,920
Speaker 3: at kind of asking for a friend here, someone who

547
00:24:34,440 --> 00:24:37,600
Speaker 3: who wants to start you know, more of a passion

548
00:24:37,640 --> 00:24:41,880
Speaker 3: project business. And but I find myself where my friend

549
00:24:41,880 --> 00:24:45,600
Speaker 3: finds themselves questioning, like having days where it's like one

550
00:24:45,680 --> 00:24:47,520
Speaker 3: day you're more motivated than other days. You're like, are

551
00:24:47,560 --> 00:24:49,639
Speaker 3: people really going to get this? Do they? Is this

552
00:24:49,720 --> 00:24:52,439
Speaker 3: really something I want to do? You know? What what

553
00:24:52,480 --> 00:24:54,440
Speaker 3: do you tell? You know, your clients and the people

554
00:24:54,480 --> 00:24:57,359
Speaker 3: you work with, like, yes, believe, continue to believe and

555
00:24:57,400 --> 00:24:57,960
Speaker 3: get it going.

556
00:24:58,560 --> 00:25:00,280
Speaker 4: Yeah, so I know that for a lot of people.

557
00:25:00,480 --> 00:25:02,640
Speaker 4: The way my brain works is it works corporate style, right,

558
00:25:02,680 --> 00:25:06,000
Speaker 4: so it's more tactical and less emotional. But what's great

559
00:25:06,040 --> 00:25:09,720
Speaker 4: is that translates into action. So like odds are for

560
00:25:09,800 --> 00:25:14,119
Speaker 4: you or your friend, Like you know, it's a situation

561
00:25:14,240 --> 00:25:16,640
Speaker 4: where I wonder if my idea is good enough. Well,

562
00:25:16,640 --> 00:25:19,840
Speaker 4: the reality is all ideas usually have a home. I mean,

563
00:25:19,880 --> 00:25:22,240
Speaker 4: if you think about it, Steve Jobs, when he held

564
00:25:22,280 --> 00:25:24,800
Speaker 4: up the iPhone, he didn't invent something new phones existed,

565
00:25:24,840 --> 00:25:26,639
Speaker 4: He just took buttons off of it, you know, like

566
00:25:27,080 --> 00:25:29,000
Speaker 4: little tweaks can make a whole new thing. So what

567
00:25:29,000 --> 00:25:32,080
Speaker 4: I would tell that person is, instead of comparing yourself

568
00:25:32,119 --> 00:25:35,399
Speaker 4: to somebody with big brand ideas who's super accomplished and

569
00:25:35,400 --> 00:25:37,879
Speaker 4: has already hit a million dollars, just realize you can

570
00:25:37,920 --> 00:25:41,080
Speaker 4: start small, like you literally, just launch it small, see

571
00:25:41,080 --> 00:25:44,440
Speaker 4: how it goes, then expand and make it bigger. Oftentimes

572
00:25:44,440 --> 00:25:46,119
Speaker 4: we just say to ourselves in our brain, it's not

573
00:25:46,160 --> 00:25:48,320
Speaker 4: going to be successful if it doesn't blow up right away.

574
00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:51,040
Speaker 4: But the reality is that's not how ninety nine percent

575
00:25:51,119 --> 00:25:53,280
Speaker 4: of stuff in business doesn't work out that way. Everything

576
00:25:53,320 --> 00:25:56,399
Speaker 4: starts small first. So though odds are, you can do it.

577
00:25:56,440 --> 00:25:58,520
Speaker 4: If you think you can get what one hundred sales,

578
00:25:58,680 --> 00:26:01,240
Speaker 4: ten sales, you can get a million of them. So

579
00:26:01,320 --> 00:26:01,879
Speaker 4: start small.

580
00:26:02,640 --> 00:26:03,119
Speaker 3: I love it.

581
00:26:03,840 --> 00:26:06,359
Speaker 2: Yeah, what so the show that you're doing, what what

582
00:26:06,400 --> 00:26:08,960
Speaker 2: can people expect with that? I mean, especially like your

583
00:26:09,280 --> 00:26:12,240
Speaker 2: dynamic with your husband and tell us all about that.

584
00:26:12,920 --> 00:26:15,000
Speaker 4: Well, so my husband's not a cool kid, right, Like,

585
00:26:15,080 --> 00:26:16,560
Speaker 4: he doesn't look like this in a hat. He's a

586
00:26:16,640 --> 00:26:18,600
Speaker 4: round Jewish lawyer, kind of shaped like a bowling pin.

587
00:26:18,800 --> 00:26:20,760
Speaker 4: But I'm into that. So it works. You know, it's

588
00:26:20,800 --> 00:26:23,639
Speaker 4: like it works out well, very hot, very hot. I'm

589
00:26:23,680 --> 00:26:27,399
Speaker 4: into his brain. So so that said, our show is

590
00:26:27,720 --> 00:26:29,359
Speaker 4: a little bit of both sides. You know, I'm a

591
00:26:29,400 --> 00:26:32,360
Speaker 4: working mom, right so I'm spending time in the office,

592
00:26:32,840 --> 00:26:36,160
Speaker 4: I'm on stage. I have these top celebrity clients. I'm

593
00:26:36,400 --> 00:26:40,800
Speaker 4: building businesses, making a multimillions. But then I go home

594
00:26:41,160 --> 00:26:43,760
Speaker 4: and I can't get my kids to shower regularly. You know,

595
00:26:43,920 --> 00:26:46,399
Speaker 4: I can't get them to get their lives together. I

596
00:26:46,440 --> 00:26:48,600
Speaker 4: can't get my you know, eighteen year old to move

597
00:26:48,640 --> 00:26:50,360
Speaker 4: out of my house. You know, I mean these are

598
00:26:50,400 --> 00:26:53,560
Speaker 4: all the things that every mom deals with. And it's

599
00:26:53,720 --> 00:26:56,879
Speaker 4: hilarious to watch. You know, someone who people think is

600
00:26:56,880 --> 00:26:58,919
Speaker 4: a boss, you know, not be in charge of anything.

601
00:26:59,000 --> 00:27:01,640
Speaker 3: So get home and just get owned by everybody else.

602
00:27:01,520 --> 00:27:05,159
Speaker 4: Owned totally owned. I mean, I go in and I

603
00:27:05,280 --> 00:27:08,600
Speaker 4: was just joking. Yesterday, my nine year old comes to

604
00:27:08,640 --> 00:27:10,879
Speaker 4: me and she's like, so I have to write an

605
00:27:11,000 --> 00:27:14,760
Speaker 4: article about a famous African American for a Black History Month.

606
00:27:14,840 --> 00:27:18,760
Speaker 4: And so I'm of course coughing, like famous, I'm black,

607
00:27:21,040 --> 00:27:24,760
Speaker 4: I know. She looks at me and she's like, yeah, no,

608
00:27:24,880 --> 00:27:27,560
Speaker 4: I know, Like I know you're an African American, You're

609
00:27:27,680 --> 00:27:29,800
Speaker 4: you know, but what what are you even famous for?

610
00:27:29,920 --> 00:27:32,280
Speaker 4: Like what would you even be famous for? Like she

611
00:27:32,440 --> 00:27:34,919
Speaker 4: was really like in my face, and I was like,

612
00:27:34,960 --> 00:27:37,119
Speaker 4: you know what, it's fine, it's fine. What's famous? She

613
00:27:37,160 --> 00:27:38,680
Speaker 4: was like, well, you don't even have a billboard. Even

614
00:27:38,720 --> 00:27:41,080
Speaker 4: the kid at the dentist has a billboard. I was like,

615
00:27:41,080 --> 00:27:43,960
Speaker 4: you know what, you know what, that's fine. So this

616
00:27:44,119 --> 00:27:46,400
Speaker 4: is what my life is like what I mean, it's

617
00:27:46,480 --> 00:27:46,800
Speaker 4: like that.

618
00:27:47,160 --> 00:27:48,920
Speaker 2: Well I can't wait to watch it, just to see

619
00:27:48,960 --> 00:27:54,600
Speaker 2: my future because the other day, Jolie just turned five.

620
00:27:54,680 --> 00:27:56,640
Speaker 2: She's like, I'm five, I can do whatever I want.

621
00:27:56,640 --> 00:27:58,720
Speaker 2: And I'm like, oh god, here we go, and.

622
00:27:59,400 --> 00:28:01,640
Speaker 4: Of it, the reality of it, it's like a regular

623
00:28:01,960 --> 00:28:04,480
Speaker 4: They get into this I know that phase where it's

624
00:28:04,480 --> 00:28:07,360
Speaker 4: like I know things because in their brain. They've been

625
00:28:07,400 --> 00:28:09,919
Speaker 4: here forever at this point, Like, it's not a baby

626
00:28:10,040 --> 00:28:12,000
Speaker 4: is three, you know what I mean? A baby's not five.

627
00:28:12,040 --> 00:28:14,400
Speaker 4: But I'm like, I literally was fishing your turns out

628
00:28:14,400 --> 00:28:16,440
Speaker 4: of the bathtub like five minutes ago.

629
00:28:16,600 --> 00:28:18,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, I watch you ask yesterday. Now all of a

630
00:28:18,480 --> 00:28:20,439
Speaker 3: sudden you can do whatever you want. Like, all of a.

631
00:28:20,440 --> 00:28:22,959
Speaker 4: Sudden, you can do it everyone. That's not how that goes, Like,

632
00:28:23,119 --> 00:28:25,560
Speaker 4: are you kidding me? But you know, it's the joy

633
00:28:25,560 --> 00:28:26,080
Speaker 4: of parenting.

634
00:28:26,560 --> 00:28:29,000
Speaker 2: Where can our listeners find you? Because I want to

635
00:28:29,040 --> 00:28:29,960
Speaker 2: see more of you too.

636
00:28:30,560 --> 00:28:34,160
Speaker 4: Oh you're awesome. You can definitely find out more at

637
00:28:34,280 --> 00:28:37,840
Speaker 4: Nicole Walters dot com. But I'm all over Socialist Nicole

638
00:28:37,880 --> 00:28:39,920
Speaker 4: Walters and you can listen to my podcast, the Nicole

639
00:28:39,960 --> 00:28:40,920
Speaker 4: Walters Podcast.

640
00:28:41,120 --> 00:28:43,280
Speaker 2: Oh my goodness, I love you. I'm excited to watch

641
00:28:43,280 --> 00:28:47,680
Speaker 2: your show. Thanks for coming on. And yeah, excited to

642
00:28:47,840 --> 00:28:49,600
Speaker 2: excited to watch the show. It's gonna be awesome.

643
00:28:49,920 --> 00:28:53,000
Speaker 4: You're the best. Everyone can watch February twenty fifth, at

644
00:28:53,000 --> 00:28:54,680
Speaker 4: ten thirty pm on USA Network.

645
00:28:54,760 --> 00:28:58,080
Speaker 3: AWESO, Thanks Nicole. We appreciate a big times.

646
00:28:58,080 --> 00:29:13,160
Speaker 2: Bye bye, Hey Mark, do we have any emails?

647
00:29:13,560 --> 00:29:13,840
Speaker 4: We do?

648
00:29:13,880 --> 00:29:15,600
Speaker 1: We have some nice emails here and This first one

649
00:29:15,640 --> 00:29:18,880
Speaker 1: is from I believe it's pronounced janil je n i

650
00:29:19,120 --> 00:29:22,280
Speaker 1: la janil. Recently, this past summer, my sister opened up

651
00:29:22,280 --> 00:29:23,959
Speaker 1: to me about her marriage and the issues they were

652
00:29:24,000 --> 00:29:27,040
Speaker 1: struggling with. I thought they were making progress, coming to

653
00:29:27,080 --> 00:29:29,200
Speaker 1: find out, over the summer, my brother in law said

654
00:29:29,200 --> 00:29:30,760
Speaker 1: he could not stay in the marriage any longer and

655
00:29:30,840 --> 00:29:31,600
Speaker 1: left her and the.

656
00:29:31,520 --> 00:29:32,560
Speaker 3: Two kids at home.

657
00:29:32,800 --> 00:29:35,000
Speaker 1: He even started speaking to another woman, but he didn't

658
00:29:35,000 --> 00:29:36,560
Speaker 1: say anything wrong with that because he was just trying

659
00:29:36,560 --> 00:29:39,720
Speaker 1: to find himself. Long story short, they've been working on

660
00:29:39,760 --> 00:29:42,680
Speaker 1: their marriage. They've began couple's therapy, he stopped speaking to

661
00:29:42,760 --> 00:29:44,960
Speaker 1: other women, and he moved back into the family home.

662
00:29:45,440 --> 00:29:48,080
Speaker 1: My struggle is, how do I move on from the

663
00:29:48,120 --> 00:29:50,680
Speaker 1: pain he caused my sister? How do I move on

664
00:29:51,000 --> 00:29:54,000
Speaker 1: and forgive him for leaving his kids and his family

665
00:29:54,040 --> 00:29:56,680
Speaker 1: and thinking he was doing the right thing. Janna, how

666
00:29:56,680 --> 00:29:59,600
Speaker 1: did your family ever forgive Mike? Did he ever have

667
00:29:59,640 --> 00:30:02,600
Speaker 1: a conver with your family after everything that happened between

668
00:30:02,640 --> 00:30:03,000
Speaker 1: you two.

669
00:30:04,200 --> 00:30:09,720
Speaker 3: I'll go ahead and start with this. Yes, I did

670
00:30:09,720 --> 00:30:14,600
Speaker 3: have many conversations with you know, Jana's family, pretty much

671
00:30:14,600 --> 00:30:19,000
Speaker 3: everyone in her family at some point, and it was very,

672
00:30:19,080 --> 00:30:23,440
Speaker 3: very difficult. But here's the thing, and this is what

673
00:30:24,240 --> 00:30:28,000
Speaker 3: everyone in Jana's family told me when I would talk

674
00:30:28,040 --> 00:30:32,200
Speaker 3: to them about these things. They say, look, we're not

675
00:30:32,240 --> 00:30:34,320
Speaker 3: happy about this right now. Obviously we don't approve of

676
00:30:34,320 --> 00:30:37,080
Speaker 3: what you did, Mike, But at the end of the day,

677
00:30:38,440 --> 00:30:41,960
Speaker 3: we love Jana, and if Jana chooses to love you,

678
00:30:42,800 --> 00:30:45,880
Speaker 3: then we'll choose to love you too, or we'll choose

679
00:30:45,920 --> 00:30:49,800
Speaker 3: to support her in loving you. So they just watch Jana.

680
00:30:50,200 --> 00:30:52,480
Speaker 3: They just observe her. They feed off of her energy.

681
00:30:52,560 --> 00:30:55,760
Speaker 3: They and you know, as the time goes and we

682
00:30:55,800 --> 00:30:58,720
Speaker 3: have more and more moments together around the family, it

683
00:30:58,720 --> 00:31:02,719
Speaker 3: gets more and more comfortable. People will realize, Hey, you know,

684
00:31:02,920 --> 00:31:06,480
Speaker 3: we can do this. We are doing this. I don't

685
00:31:06,480 --> 00:31:09,440
Speaker 3: have to be defined by my past actions, and now

686
00:31:09,480 --> 00:31:12,280
Speaker 3: my relationship with all of them is fantastic, probably better

687
00:31:12,320 --> 00:31:15,640
Speaker 3: than it's ever been, you know, from a connected standpoint

688
00:31:16,600 --> 00:31:21,160
Speaker 3: for sure, with everybody. So yeah, that's what I would

689
00:31:21,160 --> 00:31:24,520
Speaker 3: have to say, is just look at your sister and

690
00:31:25,280 --> 00:31:28,360
Speaker 3: feed off of her energy. And it's your job as

691
00:31:29,040 --> 00:31:31,760
Speaker 3: her sister too. Yeah, speak your truth, but also to

692
00:31:31,960 --> 00:31:35,080
Speaker 3: love and support her and her decisions. And this is

693
00:31:35,080 --> 00:31:37,400
Speaker 3: what she wants. Then you got to learn to deal

694
00:31:37,440 --> 00:31:39,959
Speaker 3: with that. Now, if he hasn't talked to you, you

695
00:31:40,000 --> 00:31:43,440
Speaker 3: do have the right to talk to him about it

696
00:31:43,520 --> 00:31:45,080
Speaker 3: and express your feelings.

697
00:31:45,320 --> 00:31:49,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think you have a right for that. And

698
00:31:49,120 --> 00:31:54,160
Speaker 2: also on the other side of it, he didn't do

699
00:31:54,200 --> 00:31:58,760
Speaker 2: anything directly like, yes, he hurt your sister and that's

700
00:31:59,240 --> 00:32:05,800
Speaker 2: wrong and that's bad, but he is not your husband, boyfriend, lover,

701
00:32:06,360 --> 00:32:10,080
Speaker 2: like he didn't hurt you. So sometimes if you bring

702
00:32:10,120 --> 00:32:17,240
Speaker 2: in that negative energy to your sister, that's going to

703
00:32:19,040 --> 00:32:24,440
Speaker 2: affect your sister's thought process with things, and that's not

704
00:32:24,440 --> 00:32:27,720
Speaker 2: fair either. Is this making sense, Like it's it wasn't

705
00:32:27,720 --> 00:32:30,960
Speaker 2: a personal attack towards her, and so to not don't

706
00:32:31,000 --> 00:32:33,120
Speaker 2: take it on as a personal attack.

707
00:32:33,280 --> 00:32:36,120
Speaker 3: Right, But it's almost I make up that it's almost harder,

708
00:32:36,200 --> 00:32:39,320
Speaker 3: right because if you're not directly affected, you don't have

709
00:32:39,400 --> 00:32:44,040
Speaker 3: that that confusion of but I love this person, but

710
00:32:44,080 --> 00:32:47,040
Speaker 3: they hurt me type of conflict like you know, like

711
00:32:47,120 --> 00:32:49,720
Speaker 3: maybe you have or you've had in the past with

712
00:32:49,800 --> 00:32:52,800
Speaker 3: me where it's like she just sees red or she

713
00:32:52,880 --> 00:32:57,000
Speaker 3: just sees enemy because she wasn't directly right, so you.

714
00:32:56,960 --> 00:32:59,200
Speaker 2: Know, but it's also not her place too.

715
00:32:59,480 --> 00:33:01,719
Speaker 3: It doesn't mean she has to go, you know, shooting

716
00:33:01,760 --> 00:33:05,880
Speaker 3: from the hip and causing shit. But it's almost easier

717
00:33:05,880 --> 00:33:07,000
Speaker 3: to be angry.

718
00:33:07,040 --> 00:33:09,520
Speaker 2: It's easier for It's almost one thousand percent easier for

719
00:33:09,560 --> 00:33:11,200
Speaker 2: her to be angry. But I just want her to

720
00:33:11,240 --> 00:33:16,000
Speaker 2: remember that, you know, the best thing you can do

721
00:33:16,040 --> 00:33:19,640
Speaker 2: for your sister is just show support. And also if

722
00:33:19,680 --> 00:33:22,560
Speaker 2: you have feelings and he hasn't talked to you, then

723
00:33:22,600 --> 00:33:23,840
Speaker 2: be like, hey, is it cool if I have a

724
00:33:23,880 --> 00:33:26,720
Speaker 2: conversation with him, because it is a personal thing, it

725
00:33:26,800 --> 00:33:29,240
Speaker 2: is your sister. But I also like, try to remember

726
00:33:29,400 --> 00:33:34,760
Speaker 2: that it's not your life. That yes, it affected it, it's.

727
00:33:34,440 --> 00:33:37,040
Speaker 3: Something affect indirectly affected.

728
00:33:36,640 --> 00:33:40,400
Speaker 2: But it's not you weren't directly affected. I feel like

729
00:33:40,440 --> 00:33:42,560
Speaker 2: I'm being insensitive, but I hope you guys know what I'm.

730
00:33:42,400 --> 00:33:45,400
Speaker 3: Trying to say now. It's just being directly versus indirectly effective.

731
00:33:45,400 --> 00:33:48,280
Speaker 3: And at the end of the day, it's not Janille's life.

732
00:33:48,360 --> 00:33:51,600
Speaker 3: It's her sister's life and decision. So she can have

733
00:33:51,640 --> 00:33:54,760
Speaker 3: her thoughts, she can have her feelings. Janille can she

734
00:33:54,880 --> 00:33:58,360
Speaker 3: can you know, express them in a healthy way, but

735
00:33:58,640 --> 00:34:01,480
Speaker 3: it is her sister's decision. It is her sister's life.

736
00:34:02,040 --> 00:34:04,400
Speaker 2: And you're going to have to. You know, you don't

737
00:34:04,400 --> 00:34:06,120
Speaker 2: have to like it, but if you want to be comfortable,

738
00:34:06,160 --> 00:34:07,800
Speaker 2: you're going to have to, you know, Like, I'm sure

739
00:34:08,040 --> 00:34:10,439
Speaker 2: there's plenty of times where my mom, you know, did

740
00:34:10,440 --> 00:34:14,520
Speaker 2: not like Michael, but she's still tried, you know, when

741
00:34:14,520 --> 00:34:17,200
Speaker 2: she's still put on the happy face because she knew

742
00:34:17,200 --> 00:34:20,719
Speaker 2: that I needed that of her. So now if it

743
00:34:20,719 --> 00:34:24,200
Speaker 2: continues to happen, then of course you have to have

744
00:34:24,239 --> 00:34:26,640
Speaker 2: tough love. If you're like, I can't have this in

745
00:34:26,640 --> 00:34:28,520
Speaker 2: my life anymore, like I you know I have. We

746
00:34:28,560 --> 00:34:33,120
Speaker 2: have a friend whose sister keeps staying in an abusive relationship,

747
00:34:33,200 --> 00:34:35,520
Speaker 2: and she's like, I can't keep watching you go through this.

748
00:34:35,600 --> 00:34:38,759
Speaker 2: That's it, you know, when it continuously happens, that is

749
00:34:38,800 --> 00:34:42,319
Speaker 2: affecting your life more and you sometimes you're like, I can't,

750
00:34:42,440 --> 00:34:45,200
Speaker 2: I can't have this. I can't be in front of

751
00:34:45,280 --> 00:34:48,279
Speaker 2: him knowing this is happening. So do you have anything else?

752
00:34:48,400 --> 00:34:52,160
Speaker 1: This is from Danielle Jenna. How do you deal with

753
00:34:52,200 --> 00:34:56,000
Speaker 1: your anxiety and ways you cope since the pandemic. I've

754
00:34:56,040 --> 00:34:58,479
Speaker 1: noticed I've been getting more anxiety, and I've been trying

755
00:34:58,480 --> 00:35:00,520
Speaker 1: to find ways to deal with it better. I just

756
00:35:00,560 --> 00:35:02,480
Speaker 1: had my second baby, so I've been home a lot

757
00:35:02,520 --> 00:35:04,719
Speaker 1: with my family and my husband. But I'm longing for

758
00:35:04,760 --> 00:35:07,080
Speaker 1: the days to get back to normalcy, aren't we all,

759
00:35:07,200 --> 00:35:08,760
Speaker 1: Danielle preach.

760
00:35:09,000 --> 00:35:11,919
Speaker 2: Yeah, I hear you, Danielle. And it's been it's been tough.

761
00:35:11,920 --> 00:35:14,680
Speaker 2: I think what I have to. There's been a few

762
00:35:14,719 --> 00:35:17,160
Speaker 2: things that I've done, even here in Vancouver, when I

763
00:35:17,160 --> 00:35:21,279
Speaker 2: started to get anxiety. I don't know if you're religious,

764
00:35:21,400 --> 00:35:23,400
Speaker 2: but a lot of times I ask for God to

765
00:35:23,440 --> 00:35:26,440
Speaker 2: take away my anxiety. To help me with it. I

766
00:35:26,760 --> 00:35:33,799
Speaker 2: do grounding exercises, so I either count five, four, three,

767
00:35:33,960 --> 00:35:36,759
Speaker 2: two one, or I literally count my fingers all the

768
00:35:36,760 --> 00:35:39,680
Speaker 2: way to ten. I'll go outside put my feet in

769
00:35:39,719 --> 00:35:44,319
Speaker 2: the grass. That's a grounding exercise, and it just kind

770
00:35:44,320 --> 00:35:47,319
Speaker 2: of brings your body back to reality, back to here,

771
00:35:47,600 --> 00:35:52,400
Speaker 2: back to what's not in your brain happening. Also, another

772
00:35:52,400 --> 00:35:55,279
Speaker 2: grounding exercise is if you're in a room, listen to

773
00:35:55,680 --> 00:36:00,080
Speaker 2: things like what's something that you notice right now that

774
00:36:00,280 --> 00:36:02,279
Speaker 2: you can hear, or that you can see, or that

775
00:36:02,320 --> 00:36:04,879
Speaker 2: you can feel, and that again grounds you, takes you back.

776
00:36:05,280 --> 00:36:10,600
Speaker 2: Meditation is really helpful therapy if you do emdr and

777
00:36:10,640 --> 00:36:13,640
Speaker 2: it's really good for anxiety to kind of bring up

778
00:36:13,760 --> 00:36:18,040
Speaker 2: things that you're needing to cope with. Maybe that's more

779
00:36:18,200 --> 00:36:24,080
Speaker 2: trauma underneath, and then you know, get juju with it

780
00:36:24,160 --> 00:36:25,319
Speaker 2: and get some oils in.

781
00:36:25,360 --> 00:36:30,720
Speaker 3: Lavender and yeah, just Danielle, honestly, you know, go to Google.

782
00:36:30,840 --> 00:36:32,240
Speaker 2: Tell someone too, by the way.

783
00:36:32,200 --> 00:36:35,200
Speaker 3: Go to Google and just type in search for like

784
00:36:35,320 --> 00:36:40,680
Speaker 3: mindfulness exercises, and that's just a way to again kind

785
00:36:40,680 --> 00:36:42,600
Speaker 3: of like Jana saying, getting grounded, but it's a way

786
00:36:42,640 --> 00:36:44,800
Speaker 3: to take your mind and focus it on things that

787
00:36:44,840 --> 00:36:47,319
Speaker 3: are in front of you right in that moment, rather

788
00:36:47,360 --> 00:36:49,120
Speaker 3: than things that are outside of your control.

789
00:36:49,360 --> 00:36:49,600
Speaker 4: Yep.

790
00:36:49,719 --> 00:36:52,680
Speaker 2: And just know that I would say I'm fine, I'm

791
00:36:52,719 --> 00:36:56,520
Speaker 2: not dying, I will be okay. And sometimes the best

792
00:36:56,520 --> 00:36:59,040
Speaker 2: thing that I've ever done for myself is when I

793
00:36:59,080 --> 00:37:02,040
Speaker 2: do have an anxiety, I say, whoever I'm with right now,

794
00:37:02,120 --> 00:37:05,399
Speaker 2: I'm having an anxiety attack, and the second someone comes

795
00:37:05,400 --> 00:37:07,439
Speaker 2: in and helps me, or Mike and he's like, okay,

796
00:37:07,520 --> 00:37:09,239
Speaker 2: like what are you okay? Like what do you need

797
00:37:09,239 --> 00:37:12,000
Speaker 2: to sit down? I feel better knowing that I'm not alone.

798
00:37:12,120 --> 00:37:18,359
Speaker 2: So hope that helps. All Right, Well, guys, I'm really

799
00:37:18,360 --> 00:37:20,120
Speaker 2: excited because when.

800
00:37:20,000 --> 00:37:21,439
Speaker 3: We talk to them next week, we'll be free.

801
00:37:22,440 --> 00:37:24,799
Speaker 2: Yeah, me too, And the animals will still be stuck

802
00:37:24,840 --> 00:37:27,240
Speaker 2: at the zoo, but we'll go wave and say hi.

803
00:37:27,400 --> 00:37:29,840
Speaker 3: We'll free them all. Catch us on the knees.

804
00:37:29,840 --> 00:37:31,560
Speaker 2: When we free all the animals, we'll be at the

805
00:37:31,560 --> 00:37:33,759
Speaker 2: Greater Vancouver Zoo letting go of all the monkeys and

806
00:37:33,800 --> 00:37:34,760
Speaker 2: the tigers.

807
00:37:34,360 --> 00:37:35,040
Speaker 3: And then in prison.

808
00:37:35,160 --> 00:37:37,319
Speaker 2: So see you guys next week.

809
00:37:37,480 --> 00:37:37,719
Speaker 3: Later