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Speaker 1: Hey guys, So today I'm super excited my Jolian Jace

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Speaker 1: clothing line just launch today. It's cozypj lounge Ware. It's

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Speaker 1: a very very limited launch with limited numbers. So I

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Speaker 1: hope you guys love it. You can go to Jolianjas

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Speaker 1: dot com to shop.

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Speaker 2: Mike likes it, right, I love it. It's it's super soft.

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Speaker 3: It's so soft, it's so comfy. Actually, when you wear it,

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Speaker 3: I'm more inclined to cut.

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Speaker 4: It with you.

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Speaker 1: Ooh this it's super soft. We only have a few

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Speaker 1: styles right now, but we're going to get more hopefully

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Speaker 1: when we grow. And yes, very limited, so go to

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Speaker 1: Jolianjas dot com. All right, let's get to our show.

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Speaker 3: Flind Down with Janet Kramer and Michael Coffin and I'm

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Speaker 3: her radio podcast. You know, we had a radio tour

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Speaker 3: for our book, for another push for our book for

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Speaker 3: the holiday sales the other day. And I mean we

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Speaker 3: had calls scheduled from seven in the morning until two

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Speaker 3: thirty in the afternoon. Yeah, with limited breaks. I think

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Speaker 3: there's one significant break.

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Speaker 1: We had two breaks.

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Speaker 3: Two breaks.

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Speaker 1: We had a forty five minute break and then a

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Speaker 1: fifty minute break.

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Speaker 3: Okay, and in that time. I took that those moments to,

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Speaker 3: you know, do things that most people would do, like

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Speaker 3: go to the bathroom, have some lunch, take a second

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Speaker 3: to just breathe and digest, since we had been talking

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Speaker 3: on the phone NonStop for hours on end, and come

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Speaker 3: to find out, what's she inna doing? Not only in

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Speaker 3: those forty five and fifty minute breaks, but the five

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Speaker 3: minute breaks, the seven minute breaks, the two minute breaks

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Speaker 3: that we have in between, She's doing a million other

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Speaker 3: different things. She went and picked up Jakes, which was awesome.

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Speaker 3: Did the last call, I remember, I came downstairs be

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Speaker 3: like babe, babe, and you're already gone. I was like, oh, yeah,

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Speaker 3: she's already gone. So she did like the last two

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Speaker 3: calls on the phone in the car. Couldn't even tell though,

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Speaker 3: So that's good.

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Speaker 2: That's good.

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Speaker 1: I was worried about you to hear it because we uh,

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Speaker 1: I was driving your truck sone no, no no, So

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Speaker 1: I I'm really afraid of that, but I didn't care

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Speaker 1: because I wanted to pick up Jason.

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Speaker 3: And the best part about it was and.

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Speaker 1: Then the one break, I went running. Yes, I had

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Speaker 1: a forty minute break, so I went running for thirty right.

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Speaker 3: But of course the best part about it too was

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Speaker 3: later that night, you know, we're winding out, we were

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Speaker 3: finishing dinner, had about forty minutes till the kids went down.

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Speaker 3: I told her. I was like, hey, babe, I'm asking

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Speaker 3: for what I need. I just need like thirty forty

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Speaker 3: minutes because I'm really excited about our podcast guest today,

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Speaker 3: someone that I've been trying to get on here for

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Speaker 3: a minute, and so I wanted to kind of prep

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Speaker 3: for that and then also do some other stuff with

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Speaker 3: this hat collaboration I'm working on. And she just kind

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Speaker 3: of smirks at me. I'm like, what, I'm asking for

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Speaker 3: what I need?

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Speaker 1: And I said, okay, sounds great. Would you like to

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Speaker 1: what would you like to do? Would you like to

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Speaker 1: do it before or after the kids go down? And

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Speaker 1: You're like, why are you smart? I'm like, I'm I'm

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Speaker 1: just trying to do my work right now, and would

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Speaker 1: you like to do it before the kids go down

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Speaker 1: or after the kids go down? And you like, wouldn't

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Speaker 1: drop it? You're like, why are you smirking at me?

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Speaker 1: And I'm and for everyone that listens to the show,

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Speaker 1: like I was trying to do my work. I was

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Speaker 1: trying to be like because in my mind, I've got

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Speaker 1: thoughts and I'm trying my and I feel like, first

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Speaker 1: of all, I would like to be semi affirmed for

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Speaker 1: that because I'm trying to not speak on that or

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Speaker 1: say things, and I'm trying to say, Okay, what would

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Speaker 1: you would you like to do it before or after?

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Speaker 1: And I'm you know, yes, I have a smirk on

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Speaker 1: my face, but I'm still like, you know, saying yes,

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Speaker 1: And I'm trying to do my work by not by

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Speaker 1: knowing that we're two different people, right. Like, for example,

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Speaker 1: I've been trying to plan my, like a very close

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Speaker 1: friend's birthday and we had three minutes break and so

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Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, I could probably call this magician in

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Speaker 1: three minutes. But I didn't realize he was gonna like

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Speaker 1: tell me everything and like his upbringing. So I was like, hey,

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Speaker 1: I got to call you back. But Michael's like, you're

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Speaker 1: doing that now. I'm like, we have three minutes, you.

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Speaker 3: Know, so, and it gives me anxiety.

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Speaker 1: Right, But again, this is where we are two different people,

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Speaker 1: and in the past is when I would be more

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Speaker 1: on you and say, well, why you know in going

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Speaker 1: straight to, well, why didn't you do that when we

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Speaker 1: were doing when we had the breaks, and so instead

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Speaker 1: I was trying to do my work, which I appreciated

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Speaker 1: and well, thank you because I think that's the first

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Speaker 1: time you affirmed me for that.

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Speaker 2: Thank you for doing it work.

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Speaker 1: So I was like, I'm trying to do it and

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Speaker 1: not say anything and just recognize that we're two different people,

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Speaker 1: we do things differently. But yes, in my mind I

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Speaker 1: was smirking because I'm like, God, I want to say

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Speaker 1: what I want to say right.

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Speaker 3: Now, but I'm what did you want to say share

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Speaker 3: with our listeners?

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Speaker 1: Well, I mean we had two significant breaks, so in

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Speaker 1: my mind, I'm like, what, but I would have done

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Speaker 1: that then instead of doing it, you know, cutting into

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Speaker 1: our time because we started a new thing with what

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Speaker 1: we did last night with you know, we read a

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Speaker 1: book together and so and then not breaking into the

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Speaker 1: kid time or I'm like, you can do it all.

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Speaker 1: But in my mind, I'm like, okay, that's just we

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Speaker 1: prioritize differently. And instead of saying anything, I just was like, Okay,

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Speaker 1: would you like to do it before or after? And

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Speaker 1: smiling and you were like why are you smiling? And

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Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm trying not to say what I want

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Speaker 1: to say.

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Speaker 3: Because I know you. I know you have something to

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Speaker 3: say and I have to know.

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Speaker 1: But but then you don't want this is this is

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Speaker 1: this is my question now though you you say you

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Speaker 1: want to know, but you don't like it when I

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Speaker 1: say something. So I'm trying not to say something, but

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Speaker 1: yet you're getting me to say the thing that I'm thinking.

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Speaker 1: So it's your kind of like, well, that's.

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Speaker 3: My word, just like last night we had.

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Speaker 1: Something that came in situation.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I know, we had something that came up and

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Speaker 3: I could tell and selfishly and I'm sure you can

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Speaker 3: relate to this at some point. Is you know, I

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Speaker 3: know we're two different people, but almost I'm like, I

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Speaker 3: don't even want you to think that.

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Speaker 1: How could you say that?

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Speaker 2: Trust me?

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Speaker 1: I know that's like what I know, that's very unfair.

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Speaker 3: Oh, I know, Okay, I understand that, and I'm sure

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Speaker 3: I'm not alone here, but you know, it's it's just

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Speaker 3: it's just funny. It's humorous because we are two different people,

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Speaker 3: and I prioritized eating food to maintain energy and live

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Speaker 3: yesterday or the other day as opposed to continue to work,

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Speaker 3: which I did make your lunch when you're doing those things.

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Speaker 1: So it is interesting though, because I see what you're saying, like,

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Speaker 1: I don't even want you to think those things. But

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Speaker 1: women think differently, just like men think differently. I don't

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Speaker 1: want you to think that I always have to say

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Speaker 1: something or think. But again, we're two different people. And

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Speaker 1: the exact same thing happened last night because you brought

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Speaker 1: up something I think was work. Was it work related?

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Speaker 2: Mm hm?

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Speaker 1: And you kept prying at me, and I'm like, Mike,

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Speaker 1: I'm trying to do my work by not saying anything.

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Speaker 3: I changed the schedule a little bit. I moved my meeting.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah yeah, to prepare for some other stuff.

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Speaker 3: And I was just very confused on while you had

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Speaker 3: feelings coming up and I was starting to pry, and

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Speaker 3: then I left it alone and I let you do

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Speaker 3: your work.

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Speaker 5: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I was just saying, it has nothing to do and

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Speaker 1: I kept saying, it has nothing to do with you.

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Speaker 1: This is my own stuff that I need to that

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Speaker 1: I need to do and not say and speak on

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Speaker 1: it because you're just gonna get annoyed and it's we're

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Speaker 1: just gonna have a fight. So it's like when you

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Speaker 1: kept prying. I'm like, stop telling you I had nothing

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Speaker 1: to do with you.

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Speaker 3: You're right, and that's my work. And for you all listening,

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Speaker 3: I mean, allow that person someone's saying, I'm doing my

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Speaker 3: work right now, love to do that because I was

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Speaker 3: my learning point the past couple of days, because I

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Speaker 3: need to, because you're right.

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Speaker 1: I'm trying to do what you tell me to do, even.

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Speaker 3: If you say it knowing that you are thinking it

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Speaker 3: will annoy me.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god. But I'm literally trying to do what

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Speaker 1: you know I ask of me that annoys you.

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Speaker 3: Oh, I know I'm saying, I'm acknowledging what I'm saying

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Speaker 3: is unfair and so that's my work to allow you

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Speaker 3: to do your work.

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Speaker 1: It's like a lose lose though, like you've put me

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Speaker 1: in a lose lose situation.

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Speaker 3: No, it's just I just have to do my work.

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Speaker 3: It's not a lose lose. You just have to stick

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Speaker 3: to your guns and just be like, I'm doing my work.

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Speaker 3: I'm sorry.

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Speaker 1: I just that feels very lose lose, where it's like

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Speaker 1: you don't want me to do something, and then when

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Speaker 1: I don't do it, you're then prying for me to

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Speaker 1: do the thing.

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Speaker 2: You don't want me to welcome to the party.

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Speaker 1: How does that make sense?

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Speaker 2: It doesn't, woofty.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, so that's what's going on. Just another example of

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Speaker 3: how we're different, and I love.

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Speaker 2: You for it.

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Speaker 1: Yes, Well, I'm really excited for today's guest because we

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Speaker 1: have a motivational speaker on and his name is Inky Johnson.

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Speaker 1: Do you want to give a little background about him.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. Inky is a guy who's you know, kind of

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Speaker 3: been His videos have been sent amongst like guy text

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Speaker 3: chats that I'm in. And he was a football player

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Speaker 3: at the University of Tennessee in the early mid two

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Speaker 3: thousands and on a routine play on the field, he

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Speaker 3: was going to tackle somebody and he got injured. And

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Speaker 3: you know, let him tell the medical side of it,

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Speaker 3: but he lost his right arm. He still has his

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Speaker 3: right arm, but he's paralyzed in his right arm, and

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Speaker 3: so it's it's his story is so interesting. You know,

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Speaker 3: he says something saying that he's quoted saying, you know

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Speaker 3: that he asked himself at one point He's like, am

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Speaker 3: I really failing? Or is God prevailing? And I'm just

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Speaker 3: so so excited to talk to him and just get

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Speaker 3: his whole story in his background on what led him

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Speaker 3: to the path that he's on. And here in a

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Speaker 3: little bit before we have mom, we're going to play

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Speaker 3: this three minute snidbit of a of a of a

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Speaker 3: speech that he does that I shared with Janna. That's

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Speaker 3: just it's amazing. And if you're not ready just to

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Speaker 3: take on the day after listening to it, then then

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Speaker 3: you don't have a don't have a heart, don't have

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Speaker 3: warm blood pumping through your veins because he gets you going.

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Speaker 1: So let's take a break and then let's hear it. Okay,

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Speaker 1: I said, before we get inky on, I got introduced

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Speaker 1: to him because Mike played this motivational speech that he

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Speaker 1: does and it might be a little hard to hear,

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Speaker 1: but we really really really want to. I want to

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Speaker 1: play it for you guys.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, we'll give you.

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Speaker 3: It'll give you kind of an idea of how this

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Speaker 3: guy rolls. And he's awesome. So take a listen this

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Speaker 3: miss day, we get.

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Speaker 4: Up, we're going to open presence. Somehow my son sees it.

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Speaker 6: So Dad, let's go out to a little forward, a

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Speaker 6: little bike thing. I said, let's go me, So we

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Speaker 6: start riding light. He's getting it heavy he's getting it,

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Speaker 6: and I look back at my son and hit the ground.

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Speaker 6: His helmet cocks up, and so I said, I got

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Speaker 6: to do something quick. I said, because if my wife

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Speaker 6: beats me to my son, she's gonna make him think

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Speaker 6: he got shot.

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Speaker 3: Twenty five times, right, I said, ain't go. He looked

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Speaker 3: at me.

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Speaker 5: I said, go heavy, and so we get back up

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Speaker 5: and we park it, and as we're getting off, everybody

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Speaker 5: is asked the same question, why did you do that?

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Speaker 5: I said, because if we didn't attack opposition and adversity

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Speaker 5: in that moment.

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Speaker 3: It would have paralyzed him for the rest of his life.

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Speaker 5: The lesson is, when something doesn't turn out the way

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Speaker 5: you wanted to turn out, I need you to attack.

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Speaker 4: If everything that didn't turn.

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Speaker 3: Out the way that you wanted to turn out, and

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Speaker 3: I need you to.

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Speaker 2: Go have me on it.

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Speaker 4: It's never about the competitors.

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Speaker 5: It's about what we possess and what we do.

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Speaker 1: I mean, that's like the fact when he says about

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Speaker 1: the like his wife being like that he got shot.

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Speaker 3: That's why I'd be.

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Speaker 5: Like, what, Jaz.

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Speaker 3: That's why I played it for Janna the first time

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Speaker 3: when I heard it, because I was like that's exactly

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Speaker 3: how you'd be. You'd want to get to Jason and

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Speaker 3: feel like he's got shot twenty five times. But I'm

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Speaker 3: so pumped to talk to this guy in real time.

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Speaker 3: I mean that right there gets me going. That you know,

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Speaker 3: that gets my blood pumping.

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Speaker 1: So let's welcome to the show, Inky Johnson, Welcome the

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Speaker 1: show man.

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Speaker 4: It's a pleasure. Thank you guys so much.

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Speaker 1: I have the video, or I mean Michael showed me

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Speaker 1: the video because was it in your guy's text messages

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Speaker 1: that we said, So he has like this guy's text

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Speaker 1: message and he's like, you have to watch this and

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Speaker 1: the part when you talked about like your son getting shot,

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Speaker 1: you know a million times, I'm like that is so

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Speaker 1: me with my son, Like I'd have been like, oh

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Speaker 1: my god, freaking out. I'm like, it's so accurate.

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Speaker 3: It's I'm sure a lot of moms out there can

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Speaker 3: totally relate, and a lot of husbands as well, because

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Speaker 3: we're all like, absolutely, that's exactly what would happen.

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Speaker 4: Oh, no doubt.

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Speaker 3: You know. I'm so inspired by your story man. Like

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Speaker 3: I said, we let our audience aroundur listeners kind of

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Speaker 3: know a little bit about you and something that you say,

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Speaker 3: your quoted saying even on your website, is am I

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Speaker 3: really failing? Or is God prevailing? And that's so empowering.

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Speaker 3: And I'm just curious on when that mindset set in

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Speaker 3: for you, like after your accident, you know, going into

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Speaker 3: the life you're in today, Like when did that change

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Speaker 3: for you?

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Speaker 7: Absolutely so, I would say it manifested kind of after

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Speaker 7: my accident happened at the University of Tennessee, because I

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Speaker 7: had been chasing this dream, you know, my whole life,

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Speaker 7: and you know, I really wanted it to happen for myself.

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Speaker 7: I wanted to happen for my family because I was

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Speaker 7: coming from this situation too, bet home, fourteen people, a mother,

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Speaker 7: working the double ship, and so when the injury happened,

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Speaker 7: in a lot of people's eyes, it was tragic, right,

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Speaker 7: it was devastating, And to me, it was a big

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Speaker 7: lump of disappointment in my life and I had to

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Speaker 7: figure out, man, like, what was I going to do

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Speaker 7: with this situation? It's piece of adversity, this piece of opposition,

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Speaker 7: Like what am I going to do with it?

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Speaker 4: Right?

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Speaker 7: Because I firmly believe every experience we have as people,

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Speaker 7: like I tell my friends all the time, like, even

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Speaker 7: if the experience don't turn out the way you want

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Speaker 7: it to, don't waste the experience, right, And I feel

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Speaker 7: like it's people.

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Speaker 4: We waste so many experiences.

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Speaker 7: We don't try to extract lessons from it, we don't

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Speaker 7: try to see the blessing in it. And so when

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Speaker 7: my injury happened, the thing that I didn't know was

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Speaker 7: I wasn't giving up and I wasn't going to waste this.

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Speaker 7: And so as I kept pressing forward, things started to

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Speaker 7: manifest and I was like, man, maybe I didn't fail, right,

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Speaker 7: Maybe it was God's plan all along for me to

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Speaker 7: be doing what I'm doing. So am I feeling or

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Speaker 7: is God prevailing? And so that's basically based upon when

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Speaker 7: you face opposition and you face adversity, when you face

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Speaker 7: a challenge, just ask the question, right when you step

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Speaker 7: back and look at the bigger picture.

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Speaker 1: I love that so much and I feel like that's

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Speaker 1: how I've always kind of tried to live too, because

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Speaker 1: you know, there's certain things in my life and I'm like,

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Speaker 1: why did this happen? You know it doesn't make sense,

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Speaker 1: But then you're like, oh, like maybe this is why,

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Speaker 1: so that you can help people, and you can inspire

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Speaker 1: people and you can motivate them, and you know, especially Mike,

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Speaker 1: with our situation, it's kind of like we didn't want

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Speaker 1: what happened in our marriage to happen, but it did,

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Speaker 1: and like, how can we how can we help others

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Speaker 1: with this? And maybe that was the that was supposed

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Speaker 1: to happen all along, as painful as it was and

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Speaker 1: as awful as it was, it's like, you know, I mean,

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Speaker 1: obviously you I can't imagine how you felt because you

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Speaker 1: probably had plans of going to the NFL, and you know,

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Speaker 1: you might have felt like you let down people. But really,

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Speaker 1: I mean, they got it. They have to be so

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Speaker 1: proud of what you have turned your life into.

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Speaker 7: Yeah, And I think like you make a valid point

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Speaker 7: because you know, you look at life and you look

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Speaker 7: in the grand scheme of it, and you know, people

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Speaker 7: go through some crazy stuff, right, And like I'm a

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Speaker 7: spiritual guy, you know, to a certain extent, Like I'm

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Speaker 7: a believer, and you know, I tell guys all the time,

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Speaker 7: I'm like, some stuff that happens, like it's not a.

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Speaker 4: Scripture for it, right, Like you can't go go.

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Speaker 7: To Romans eight twenty eight, you know, what I'm saying,

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Speaker 7: it's just a scripture for it, right, you got to

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Speaker 7: let it play out. And so for me, when the

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Speaker 7: situation happened, like the people around me that had helped

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Speaker 7: me get to that point, I didn't want to let

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Speaker 7: them down. I didn't want to waste the experience, and

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Speaker 7: I didn't want to become a failure because they had

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Speaker 7: sacrificed a lot in me, and I think their investment

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Speaker 7: in what they saw in me it helped me out

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Speaker 7: a lot, because they told me from the jump, like, man,

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Speaker 7: we don't care if you make it to the NFL.

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Speaker 4: Like I get that's what you.

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Speaker 7: Want, but we don't care about that, Like we just

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Speaker 7: want you to be a decent human being.

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Speaker 4: You think we've been stealed.

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Speaker 3: You know, it's amazing. I feel like until you have kids, too,

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Speaker 3: it's it's hard to understand that concept that you just mentioned,

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Speaker 3: because you know I did the same thing, and you

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Speaker 3: know I was fortunate and blessed enough to live five

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Speaker 3: years of my dream and playing in the NFL. But

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Speaker 3: I put more of the pressure on myself than anybody else, right, because,

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Speaker 3: like you said, like your parents and the people that

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Speaker 3: love you will love you. No matter what, and then

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Speaker 3: we make up this story like if we don't succeed

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Speaker 3: or do these these achieve these goals, that we're not

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Speaker 3: the same person, that we're less than. And so with kids,

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Speaker 3: I'm starting to realize, you know, ours are five and two?

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Speaker 3: How old are your kids? Ain't nine and time? And wow,

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Speaker 3: so I feel like, you know, we're starting to at

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Speaker 3: least myself, I'm starting to kind of realize that, like

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Speaker 3: I don't care if they become the most amazing whatever

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Speaker 3: it may be. But as long as they're a good

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Speaker 3: human being and treat each other right and you know,

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Speaker 3: and do all that and live by the gold, like

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Speaker 3: we're going to be proud. And so as a father

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Speaker 3: of a nine and ten year old, because those are

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Speaker 3: they're getting into those impressionable ages, you know, So as

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Speaker 3: a father, like, how are you instilling the principles that

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Speaker 3: you've learned like into them?

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Speaker 4: Yeah?

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Speaker 7: I think you make a great point, like when you

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Speaker 7: become a parent, the perspective shifts totally. And so my

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Speaker 7: girl is ten, my boy is nine eleven months apart,

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Speaker 7: little Irish twis Oh man, they give us a run

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Speaker 7: for our money too, right, but it's awesome, Like I

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Speaker 7: read this quote once and it's said, you know, as parents, right,

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Speaker 7: like we want to sometimes give children the things that

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Speaker 7: we never had instead of instilling in children the things

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Speaker 7: that we never learned.

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Speaker 4: And so with our children, it's always based upon.

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Speaker 7: Like I'm not letting them not fill the wind right

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Speaker 7: in every situation. And what I mean by that is

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Speaker 7: when they go through adversity and opposition and challenges in life.

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Speaker 7: I feel like my job as a parent is preparation.

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Speaker 7: I'm going to prepare you as best as I know how,

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Speaker 7: and then when you deal with the situation, I want

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Speaker 7: to see you make decisions. I want to see you fail, right.

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Speaker 7: I want to see you think you know it all

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Speaker 7: and then you get popped on your button. You see

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Speaker 7: you don't know it all, so we can know how

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Speaker 7: to respond. And so for me, it's about character. It's

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Speaker 7: about treating people right. It's about showing up, giving everything

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Speaker 7: you got to the things you're a part of.

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Speaker 4: It's about not allowing you to quit.

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Speaker 7: Because my mother never allowed me to quit right when

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Speaker 7: I was in sports extracurricular and if I didn't like

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Speaker 7: a coach, if I didn't like this, I couldn't come

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Speaker 7: home and say, well, I don't like the coach and quitting. No,

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Speaker 7: you're going to stay in it, right because of the

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Speaker 7: person you're going to become from that experience. And so

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Speaker 7: for me, it's making sure they understand what we're working for.

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Speaker 7: It is not just to be a great athlete. What

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Speaker 7: we're working for is one day when you get placed

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Speaker 7: with real responsibility, you know how to respond to it

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Speaker 7: with the right type of perspective.

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Speaker 1: I love that because you are a motivational speaker, is

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Speaker 1: there something that you have a hard time sometimes living

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Speaker 1: by something that you might talk about because I know

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Speaker 1: for us, Yeah, because for us it's hard. I'm like, man,

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Speaker 1: I'm like, we're saying, you know, communicate and do this,

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Speaker 1: but I'm like, we just did a really bad job

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Speaker 1: at that. But yeah, like how are we telling other

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Speaker 1: people to, like, you know, be great partners and communicate?

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Speaker 1: So I just wonder, as like a motivational speaker, it's like,

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Speaker 1: you know what topic like that you do talk about

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Speaker 1: that you might struggle with personally?

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Speaker 7: Absolutely, so the whole concept of motivational speaker, right, So

436
00:20:30,040 --> 00:20:33,199
Speaker 7: I never planned to be a motivational speaker like that

437
00:20:33,359 --> 00:20:36,560
Speaker 7: was never my plan. I never wanted to be a speaker,

438
00:20:36,880 --> 00:20:39,360
Speaker 7: Like after I got injured, I wanted to be a coach, right,

439
00:20:39,400 --> 00:20:42,719
Speaker 7: that was a natural transition. Never wanted to say, man,

440
00:20:42,760 --> 00:20:44,919
Speaker 7: I want to travel around the country share my story.

441
00:20:45,119 --> 00:20:48,040
Speaker 7: Never thought my story was anything special. To be honest,

442
00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:49,639
Speaker 7: I was just a guy that grew up a certain

443
00:20:49,680 --> 00:20:51,520
Speaker 7: way and I was just trying to make it happen.

444
00:20:51,480 --> 00:20:52,280
Speaker 4: For my family.

445
00:20:52,760 --> 00:20:55,560
Speaker 7: But I am a very passionate guy about things that

446
00:20:55,640 --> 00:20:59,000
Speaker 7: I care about, and so when I decided to speak,

447
00:20:59,160 --> 00:21:02,320
Speaker 7: it was more so of obedience than anything, because I

448
00:21:02,400 --> 00:21:04,439
Speaker 7: was in such a place in my life of confusion.

449
00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:07,160
Speaker 7: I had tried what I had tried and it didn't work.

450
00:21:07,359 --> 00:21:08,840
Speaker 7: I thought I was going to make it to the NFL.

451
00:21:08,960 --> 00:21:11,159
Speaker 7: Didn't work. God had a different plan. Thought I was

452
00:21:11,160 --> 00:21:13,760
Speaker 7: going to coach, didn't work. Came back to Atlanta, thought

453
00:21:13,800 --> 00:21:15,439
Speaker 7: I was going to work at the rec center in

454
00:21:15,480 --> 00:21:17,880
Speaker 7: my neighborhood, create leadership curriculums.

455
00:21:17,400 --> 00:21:19,000
Speaker 4: For the kids. Didn't work.

456
00:21:19,240 --> 00:21:20,600
Speaker 7: And so I was at a place in my life

457
00:21:20,600 --> 00:21:22,360
Speaker 7: where I was like, hey, Lord, I don't know what

458
00:21:22,400 --> 00:21:24,560
Speaker 7: you want me to do. Man, Like, if it's speak

459
00:21:24,640 --> 00:21:27,520
Speaker 7: people are saying speak, I'll just be obedient. I need

460
00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:30,480
Speaker 7: to find purpose with my life, right, and then the

461
00:21:30,520 --> 00:21:34,119
Speaker 7: Bible that says obedience is better than sacrifice. But as people,

462
00:21:34,160 --> 00:21:36,800
Speaker 7: we judged the level of sacrifice without first being obedient.

463
00:21:37,200 --> 00:21:39,080
Speaker 7: And so when I went on a journey to speak,

464
00:21:39,640 --> 00:21:41,520
Speaker 7: I was just a guy that once I saw it

465
00:21:41,640 --> 00:21:45,080
Speaker 7: impacted people, I was like, man, that's pretty cool. And

466
00:21:45,119 --> 00:21:47,800
Speaker 7: then people are like, man, that motivated me. I never

467
00:21:47,880 --> 00:21:50,920
Speaker 7: said I was motivating. I was picking more so man

468
00:21:50,960 --> 00:21:55,200
Speaker 7: inspiration right from within. The only reason my Instagram name

469
00:21:55,240 --> 00:21:58,920
Speaker 7: is Inky Johnson motivate is because somebody hacked my Instagram

470
00:21:58,960 --> 00:22:03,040
Speaker 7: and stole my original name and they stole like everything

471
00:22:03,119 --> 00:22:05,359
Speaker 7: associated with it. So that was the only thing I

472
00:22:05,400 --> 00:22:09,320
Speaker 7: could get. But you know, the motivational speaker, the whole

473
00:22:09,359 --> 00:22:11,720
Speaker 7: concept of it. You know, it's a challenge for me,

474
00:22:11,960 --> 00:22:14,760
Speaker 7: right because when people see you sometimes like people see

475
00:22:14,800 --> 00:22:17,760
Speaker 7: me and they're like, give me something, right, give me something.

476
00:22:17,760 --> 00:22:20,280
Speaker 7: They see a video, they think I'm just as passionate guy.

477
00:22:20,640 --> 00:22:23,679
Speaker 7: But to be honest, I'm a real laid back guy, right, Like,

478
00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:26,320
Speaker 7: if you see me out in public, I'm calm. I'm

479
00:22:26,359 --> 00:22:28,800
Speaker 7: the guy that is just being a back quiet And

480
00:22:28,880 --> 00:22:33,240
Speaker 7: so it's more so about like having compassion right for people,

481
00:22:33,280 --> 00:22:36,640
Speaker 7: and empathy and understanding that you know, nobody is perfect, right,

482
00:22:36,720 --> 00:22:39,919
Speaker 7: including me, and so when I share content, hopefully it

483
00:22:39,960 --> 00:22:41,000
Speaker 7: comes across that way.

484
00:22:42,200 --> 00:22:42,359
Speaker 4: You know.

485
00:22:42,480 --> 00:22:44,920
Speaker 3: That's that's great, you know, and I love the humility

486
00:22:44,960 --> 00:22:47,880
Speaker 3: you have behind that, right because you just being able

487
00:22:47,920 --> 00:22:51,560
Speaker 3: to talk about you know, your story. Everyone's story is different, right,

488
00:22:51,600 --> 00:22:55,679
Speaker 3: Everyone's like their gauge of the severity of it, of

489
00:22:55,760 --> 00:22:58,240
Speaker 3: what they've been through is is everything's different. You know,

490
00:22:58,280 --> 00:23:01,040
Speaker 3: what's hard for some person one person isn't hard for another.

491
00:23:01,160 --> 00:23:03,479
Speaker 3: And the fact that you're you know, again, the humility

492
00:23:03,560 --> 00:23:05,320
Speaker 3: show with your story and just being like, man, why

493
00:23:05,359 --> 00:23:07,439
Speaker 3: do people want to hear my story? You know, to

494
00:23:07,480 --> 00:23:09,720
Speaker 3: you it's just normal, right, it's just your life. It's

495
00:23:09,760 --> 00:23:13,480
Speaker 3: nothing special. But you know, just hearing you speak and

496
00:23:13,840 --> 00:23:16,240
Speaker 3: watching your stuff, man, it truly is God's gift the

497
00:23:16,240 --> 00:23:18,720
Speaker 3: way you're able to deliver things, because that's something that

498
00:23:19,320 --> 00:23:20,720
Speaker 3: you know, we do. We do a lot of speaking

499
00:23:20,760 --> 00:23:22,639
Speaker 3: things together. We do some live shows and stuff and

500
00:23:22,720 --> 00:23:25,520
Speaker 3: we've seen a lot and you know that stuff is

501
00:23:25,960 --> 00:23:28,280
Speaker 3: to an extent, you know, God given where it's you

502
00:23:28,320 --> 00:23:29,959
Speaker 3: can't really go to a class and yeah, you can

503
00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:32,480
Speaker 3: go to communications and learn how to give up presentation,

504
00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:35,199
Speaker 3: you know, but you can't like to motivate like that,

505
00:23:35,240 --> 00:23:38,080
Speaker 3: to inspire and have that compassion and have that energy

506
00:23:38,119 --> 00:23:40,119
Speaker 3: around it. You know, it's just like the game. I

507
00:23:40,119 --> 00:23:42,240
Speaker 3: feel like when you're on stage, you're turning it on, right,

508
00:23:42,440 --> 00:23:44,000
Speaker 3: Like you're getting on the field, You're turning it on.

509
00:23:44,160 --> 00:23:46,159
Speaker 3: So that might not be on a daily basis, but

510
00:23:46,240 --> 00:23:48,520
Speaker 3: it's I mean, that is truly a gift that you

511
00:23:48,600 --> 00:23:51,399
Speaker 3: have in't to to do that to I mean, like

512
00:23:51,440 --> 00:23:54,280
Speaker 3: I said, we just shared that one video with our

513
00:23:54,280 --> 00:23:56,640
Speaker 3: listeners and get that gets my blood going every time

514
00:23:56,640 --> 00:23:58,600
Speaker 3: I hear it, Like I'm ready to take on the day, man,

515
00:23:58,680 --> 00:23:59,960
Speaker 3: So you know.

516
00:24:00,320 --> 00:24:01,000
Speaker 1: Which is a lot.

517
00:24:01,359 --> 00:24:06,359
Speaker 3: Yeah, my wife can start calling you. She's gonna be

518
00:24:06,400 --> 00:24:08,040
Speaker 3: like I can't get them up and going, let's go.

519
00:24:08,720 --> 00:24:10,919
Speaker 1: I need you to be his alarm, like when he

520
00:24:10,960 --> 00:24:11,560
Speaker 1: wakes up in.

521
00:24:11,480 --> 00:24:16,439
Speaker 3: The morning's voice is my new alarm. Now what with

522
00:24:16,640 --> 00:24:19,200
Speaker 3: that being said, like what gets you up every morning?

523
00:24:19,280 --> 00:24:21,119
Speaker 3: Like what motivates you as soon as you put your

524
00:24:21,119 --> 00:24:23,200
Speaker 3: feet on the ground man, each day? Like what gets

525
00:24:23,200 --> 00:24:23,600
Speaker 3: you going?

526
00:24:24,880 --> 00:24:25,360
Speaker 4: You know? Man?

527
00:24:25,400 --> 00:24:29,600
Speaker 7: I was I was telling somebody just yesterday and you know,

528
00:24:29,640 --> 00:24:32,960
Speaker 7: I just not too long ago, you know, really dealt

529
00:24:32,960 --> 00:24:35,960
Speaker 7: with this this situation what I'm about to share. And

530
00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:38,800
Speaker 7: so as a kid, you know, growing up in poverty.

531
00:24:39,400 --> 00:24:40,800
Speaker 7: You know, I had some of the best times in

532
00:24:40,840 --> 00:24:44,719
Speaker 7: my life, but I also had some experiences that I

533
00:24:44,800 --> 00:24:48,160
Speaker 7: felt that I knew once I got a family, once

534
00:24:48,200 --> 00:24:51,040
Speaker 7: I became an adult, I didn't want to experience that, right,

535
00:24:51,119 --> 00:24:54,239
Speaker 7: and I didn't want my children to experience that. And

536
00:24:54,320 --> 00:24:57,280
Speaker 7: so my whole life I felt as if I was

537
00:24:57,359 --> 00:24:59,880
Speaker 7: running from poverty, right, Like I didn't want to exp

538
00:25:00,320 --> 00:25:03,000
Speaker 7: certain things. I don't want my children to experience some

539
00:25:03,119 --> 00:25:05,240
Speaker 7: nights when they miss mills, like I didn't want to

540
00:25:05,280 --> 00:25:08,600
Speaker 7: experience that, right. And so when I started speaking, I

541
00:25:08,720 --> 00:25:11,840
Speaker 7: was like a Workaholiday, right, Like I was taking every engagement,

542
00:25:11,880 --> 00:25:14,840
Speaker 7: every gig. I was just going, going, going, And I

543
00:25:14,880 --> 00:25:17,040
Speaker 7: made a lot of mistakes. I missed a lot, right,

544
00:25:17,359 --> 00:25:20,280
Speaker 7: both with my children and my wife. And one day

545
00:25:20,320 --> 00:25:21,960
Speaker 7: I went to a spiritual retreat and it was a

546
00:25:21,960 --> 00:25:24,960
Speaker 7: small group and a guy was saying to me, he

547
00:25:25,080 --> 00:25:27,240
Speaker 7: was like, do anybody feel like they're running from anything?

548
00:25:27,880 --> 00:25:29,960
Speaker 7: And I was like yeah, and I raised my hand

549
00:25:29,960 --> 00:25:31,439
Speaker 7: and he was like, what is it. I was like,

550
00:25:32,400 --> 00:25:35,879
Speaker 7: you know, poverty and he was like hmm, said are

551
00:25:35,920 --> 00:25:38,320
Speaker 7: you in poverty right now, you and your family. I

552
00:25:38,400 --> 00:25:40,439
Speaker 7: was like, nah, I was like, we do quite well

553
00:25:40,800 --> 00:25:42,520
Speaker 7: as a matter of fact, and he was like, well,

554
00:25:42,560 --> 00:25:47,000
Speaker 7: stop running. And to me, you know, it was profound.

555
00:25:47,240 --> 00:25:49,560
Speaker 7: To others in the group, it might have been simple.

556
00:25:50,160 --> 00:25:51,840
Speaker 7: But for me, what it did for me was it

557
00:25:51,880 --> 00:25:54,199
Speaker 7: brought me a level of purpose and brought me a

558
00:25:54,280 --> 00:25:56,920
Speaker 7: level of clarity in terms of how I went about

559
00:25:56,960 --> 00:26:00,600
Speaker 7: my business, how I got up every single day, orchestrated

560
00:26:00,600 --> 00:26:03,840
Speaker 7: my decisions and my choices, and what my driving force was.

561
00:26:04,119 --> 00:26:07,000
Speaker 7: That was my family, right every single day getting up

562
00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:08,440
Speaker 7: and wanting to be the best man I could be

563
00:26:08,840 --> 00:26:12,959
Speaker 7: for them. Now, will mistakes happen. Sure, fatherhood doesn't come

564
00:26:12,960 --> 00:26:15,520
Speaker 7: with a manual. Being a husband doesn't come with a manual.

565
00:26:15,800 --> 00:26:18,800
Speaker 7: Many mistakes will be made. But every single day, knowing

566
00:26:18,840 --> 00:26:21,160
Speaker 7: what my driving force is and knowing what I'm working

567
00:26:21,200 --> 00:26:24,760
Speaker 7: for is something that's extremely important. Man.

568
00:26:24,840 --> 00:26:27,200
Speaker 3: That's so you just just listening to them, Man, it's

569
00:26:27,240 --> 00:26:29,760
Speaker 3: just it's empowering. Thank you, it really is. And so

570
00:26:30,760 --> 00:26:33,439
Speaker 3: you know along with that, you know, this is a

571
00:26:33,520 --> 00:26:36,359
Speaker 3: relationship podcast. You know, we talk a lot about about

572
00:26:36,400 --> 00:26:37,480
Speaker 3: marriages and stuff like that.

573
00:26:37,680 --> 00:26:40,840
Speaker 7: You been married for man, We're going on it'll be

574
00:26:41,119 --> 00:26:43,560
Speaker 7: ten years in April.

575
00:26:43,800 --> 00:26:44,080
Speaker 1: Doubt.

576
00:26:45,080 --> 00:26:47,600
Speaker 7: We've been at it since, we've been at it since

577
00:26:47,640 --> 00:26:48,240
Speaker 7: fifth grade.

578
00:26:51,920 --> 00:26:56,080
Speaker 2: She knows me like back better than you know.

579
00:26:56,119 --> 00:26:59,440
Speaker 7: You telling you, I'm telling you.

580
00:26:58,600 --> 00:27:00,439
Speaker 4: I patient.

581
00:27:00,800 --> 00:27:04,919
Speaker 1: Oh, I always wonder you know, just I like to

582
00:27:04,920 --> 00:27:08,320
Speaker 1: ask this, you know, with couples, is you know, if

583
00:27:08,320 --> 00:27:10,320
Speaker 1: you were to look in the mirror as a husband,

584
00:27:10,560 --> 00:27:13,320
Speaker 1: what's one thing that you could do better at?

585
00:27:16,440 --> 00:27:19,560
Speaker 7: The one thing I could do better at, I would

586
00:27:19,600 --> 00:27:26,320
Speaker 7: say is communication? Right, Like, even though I'm an oratory

587
00:27:26,440 --> 00:27:30,440
Speaker 7: speaker out in the world, I would say communication about

588
00:27:31,640 --> 00:27:35,760
Speaker 7: about challenges that come up in marriage, right, Because I'm

589
00:27:35,800 --> 00:27:38,439
Speaker 7: the type of person I'm so like people see me

590
00:27:38,480 --> 00:27:41,520
Speaker 7: and they're like, man, this guy's passionate. But my personality

591
00:27:41,640 --> 00:27:45,399
Speaker 7: is that I'm a real calm, real cool guy. I

592
00:27:45,480 --> 00:27:48,760
Speaker 7: just try to navigate, get through opposition, get through challenges

593
00:27:49,160 --> 00:27:52,199
Speaker 7: in a cool, calm way. And so early on and

594
00:27:52,280 --> 00:27:54,919
Speaker 7: my wife helped me with this a lot early on

595
00:27:55,000 --> 00:27:57,720
Speaker 7: in our marriage, whenever we would face a challenge, I

596
00:27:57,760 --> 00:28:00,320
Speaker 7: would just try to be cool, like in silent right,

597
00:28:00,680 --> 00:28:02,879
Speaker 7: not want to address it, like I say a little

598
00:28:02,920 --> 00:28:05,199
Speaker 7: something here, but try to just think it's just going

599
00:28:05,280 --> 00:28:08,399
Speaker 7: to blow over, right, And my wife would be like, no,

600
00:28:08,440 --> 00:28:12,040
Speaker 7: we're going to talk about this. We're finish talk about

601
00:28:12,080 --> 00:28:14,920
Speaker 7: this now, right, like we're goin to communicate about this.

602
00:28:15,600 --> 00:28:17,879
Speaker 7: And you know it helped me, right, It helped me

603
00:28:17,920 --> 00:28:20,159
Speaker 7: to start expressing my perspective.

604
00:28:20,400 --> 00:28:23,280
Speaker 4: It helped me to start understanding her perspective.

605
00:28:23,680 --> 00:28:26,920
Speaker 7: But just that whole communication piece is so important, right,

606
00:28:27,000 --> 00:28:30,800
Speaker 7: and also understanding and hearing the nun verbals, right, Like,

607
00:28:30,840 --> 00:28:32,960
Speaker 7: I remember a mistake I made when I first started

608
00:28:32,960 --> 00:28:36,280
Speaker 7: speaking with the NFL, and I had this big gig

609
00:28:36,480 --> 00:28:39,160
Speaker 7: on her birthday and I'm like, man, like this is

610
00:28:39,160 --> 00:28:41,760
Speaker 7: gonna take me here in my career. I'm gonna get

611
00:28:41,760 --> 00:28:44,480
Speaker 7: paid this. And I asked her on her birthday because

612
00:28:44,520 --> 00:28:46,600
Speaker 7: the way it was set up, I could get up,

613
00:28:46,720 --> 00:28:48,720
Speaker 7: go do what I had to do, get right back,

614
00:28:48,760 --> 00:28:50,280
Speaker 7: and I was gonna send her to the SPA with

615
00:28:50,360 --> 00:28:52,600
Speaker 7: a grandma, and I had it all planned out in

616
00:28:52,640 --> 00:28:53,040
Speaker 7: my mind.

617
00:28:53,080 --> 00:28:54,480
Speaker 4: I'm like, oh, man's be perfect.

618
00:28:54,720 --> 00:28:56,360
Speaker 7: And I asked her and she was like, yeah, cool,

619
00:28:56,360 --> 00:29:00,280
Speaker 7: go ahead, right, and like I went, I did it

620
00:29:00,480 --> 00:29:04,000
Speaker 7: and I came back and I always say it wasn't

621
00:29:04,080 --> 00:29:08,120
Speaker 7: until like two days later, and it was something simple, right,

622
00:29:08,760 --> 00:29:12,280
Speaker 7: and she blew on me and I knew automatically I

623
00:29:12,280 --> 00:29:14,960
Speaker 7: said that was it. I made a mistake. I didn't

624
00:29:14,960 --> 00:29:17,840
Speaker 7: catch non verbo. I didn't catch it, and so I

625
00:29:17,840 --> 00:29:19,320
Speaker 7: would say that for sure.

626
00:29:20,120 --> 00:29:22,200
Speaker 1: But that's also on her though. And what I've learned

627
00:29:22,200 --> 00:29:24,360
Speaker 1: too is because I do a lot of non verbal too,

628
00:29:24,760 --> 00:29:26,360
Speaker 1: you know, as his wife, and there's a lot of

629
00:29:26,400 --> 00:29:29,640
Speaker 1: times when instead I have to come and say like, hey,

630
00:29:29,680 --> 00:29:32,480
Speaker 1: I feel this way, instead of taking it out about

631
00:29:32,520 --> 00:29:36,200
Speaker 1: a lampshade. You know, like there's there's always something greater.

632
00:29:36,280 --> 00:29:38,239
Speaker 1: So it's like it's on us too to express it.

633
00:29:38,520 --> 00:29:40,960
Speaker 1: But it's hard. It's a fine dance, you know, when

634
00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:42,880
Speaker 1: you have emotions and feelings.

635
00:29:42,480 --> 00:29:45,280
Speaker 3: And I'm sure if it's on your birthday, you probably

636
00:29:45,280 --> 00:29:54,640
Speaker 3: wouldn't feel like you'd have to well when just blinded,

637
00:29:54,880 --> 00:29:57,120
Speaker 3: you know that that's that's tough too, though, because as

638
00:29:57,960 --> 00:30:00,600
Speaker 3: I put myself in inky shoes, I'd be like, babe,

639
00:30:00,600 --> 00:30:04,080
Speaker 3: can you understand this response, this this opportunity that's in

640
00:30:04,120 --> 00:30:04,800
Speaker 3: front of you.

641
00:30:04,920 --> 00:30:05,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, I.

642
00:30:05,640 --> 00:30:08,640
Speaker 1: Think it's just it's having more communication and saying like,

643
00:30:09,400 --> 00:30:10,960
Speaker 1: but you know, I love you so much and I

644
00:30:10,960 --> 00:30:13,000
Speaker 1: do choose you. I just you know, I really need

645
00:30:13,040 --> 00:30:15,280
Speaker 1: your support. So It's like, I don't know who.

646
00:30:15,680 --> 00:30:18,320
Speaker 3: Who do you enjoy talking to the most? Inky? I mean,

647
00:30:18,360 --> 00:30:22,560
Speaker 3: you've done NFL, you do corporations, you do you underprivileged kids, schools,

648
00:30:22,680 --> 00:30:24,800
Speaker 3: you know whatever it is on all levels, Like who

649
00:30:24,800 --> 00:30:27,320
Speaker 3: have you enjoyed really connecting with the most?

650
00:30:27,760 --> 00:30:30,880
Speaker 7: I enjoy it all, man, because I never thought I

651
00:30:30,880 --> 00:30:33,040
Speaker 7: would be doing it on the level that I'm doing

652
00:30:33,080 --> 00:30:35,360
Speaker 7: it at. But I would say my number one source

653
00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:39,000
Speaker 7: of business it isn't It isn't even sports. A number

654
00:30:39,000 --> 00:30:41,800
Speaker 7: one source is corporate. And I think it's more so

655
00:30:42,040 --> 00:30:45,440
Speaker 7: because I bring a different perspective. Like I was trying

656
00:30:45,440 --> 00:30:47,160
Speaker 7: to figure it out one day, I was like, man,

657
00:30:47,200 --> 00:30:49,080
Speaker 7: you know I don't really come from the corporate. Well,

658
00:30:49,800 --> 00:30:52,760
Speaker 7: like why do they like bringing me in? And then

659
00:30:52,840 --> 00:30:54,760
Speaker 7: when I was talking to a guy I wanted to

660
00:30:54,800 --> 00:30:57,200
Speaker 7: see O the company, He's like, Ink, we get the

661
00:30:57,200 --> 00:30:59,640
Speaker 7: guys to come in and talk to numbers, We get

662
00:30:59,640 --> 00:31:02,400
Speaker 7: the guys to come in and talk to spreadsheets, and

663
00:31:02,440 --> 00:31:03,960
Speaker 7: they say, when you come in, you bring a level

664
00:31:03,960 --> 00:31:07,440
Speaker 7: of balance and perspective that we need to think about, right,

665
00:31:07,520 --> 00:31:10,120
Speaker 7: because we do get driven from time to time. And

666
00:31:10,160 --> 00:31:12,800
Speaker 7: like I said to him, like I'm a firm believer

667
00:31:13,000 --> 00:31:16,520
Speaker 7: like we're adults, right, we got children, married, this, that,

668
00:31:16,600 --> 00:31:18,920
Speaker 7: and the third, and people would look at me and say, man,

669
00:31:18,960 --> 00:31:24,320
Speaker 7: he's motivating, inspirational, And I firmly believe as adults, more

670
00:31:24,360 --> 00:31:27,520
Speaker 7: than motivation, more than inspiration, even though that's valuable, we

671
00:31:27,600 --> 00:31:30,320
Speaker 7: need to be reminded of what's important. And so when

672
00:31:30,360 --> 00:31:33,280
Speaker 7: I go into the corporate space, I think sometimes it

673
00:31:33,360 --> 00:31:36,560
Speaker 7: just serves as a source of what's really important, right,

674
00:31:36,600 --> 00:31:40,040
Speaker 7: because that's the space that I speak from.

675
00:31:40,120 --> 00:31:42,440
Speaker 3: That's awesome. I mean just putting everything in a perspective,

676
00:31:42,480 --> 00:31:44,400
Speaker 3: and I feel like I make up that you bring,

677
00:31:44,720 --> 00:31:48,600
Speaker 3: like the intangibles that you know, the corporation doesn't always

678
00:31:48,600 --> 00:31:50,400
Speaker 3: get like you're talking about. It's not the numbers, it's

679
00:31:50,440 --> 00:31:52,960
Speaker 3: not the business aspect, it's theo's intangibles that make up

680
00:31:53,360 --> 00:31:57,920
Speaker 3: a human being and a corporation. To be successful with

681
00:31:57,960 --> 00:32:02,400
Speaker 3: your young kids, and this is a topical question being

682
00:32:03,120 --> 00:32:06,160
Speaker 3: a black man in today's cultural climate and having two

683
00:32:06,200 --> 00:32:10,280
Speaker 3: young African American kids, what are you teaching them about

684
00:32:10,360 --> 00:32:13,200
Speaker 3: what it means to be the color that they are

685
00:32:13,400 --> 00:32:15,280
Speaker 3: and how to approach life.

686
00:32:15,640 --> 00:32:17,880
Speaker 4: Yeah, so you know that's great question.

687
00:32:18,000 --> 00:32:18,200
Speaker 6: Man.

688
00:32:18,640 --> 00:32:22,520
Speaker 7: Just making sure that my children have a real balance

689
00:32:22,680 --> 00:32:27,560
Speaker 7: perspective and making sure they're educated about everything that they

690
00:32:27,600 --> 00:32:30,160
Speaker 7: have a question about when it comes to race, when

691
00:32:30,200 --> 00:32:33,080
Speaker 7: it comes to different things, whether it be you know, politics,

692
00:32:33,080 --> 00:32:35,800
Speaker 7: whatever the case may be, making sure we educate them

693
00:32:35,800 --> 00:32:38,640
Speaker 7: but also making sure that they have a balance perspective.

694
00:32:38,720 --> 00:32:43,720
Speaker 7: So I'll give you an example. Our children are growing

695
00:32:43,800 --> 00:32:46,040
Speaker 7: up totally different from me and my wife. So me

696
00:32:46,080 --> 00:32:48,239
Speaker 7: and my wife grew up a couple blocks away from

697
00:32:48,280 --> 00:32:52,800
Speaker 7: each other, same neighborhood, same environment, things that nature experience,

698
00:32:52,840 --> 00:32:53,560
Speaker 7: similar things.

699
00:32:53,600 --> 00:32:55,280
Speaker 4: Our children are growing up totally different.

700
00:32:55,720 --> 00:32:58,719
Speaker 7: So when I was coming up, the first guy that

701
00:32:58,800 --> 00:33:01,960
Speaker 7: put me in sports was a white guy, right, But

702
00:33:02,040 --> 00:33:05,000
Speaker 7: I was coming up all black neighborhood, drug dealers on

703
00:33:05,040 --> 00:33:08,120
Speaker 7: the corner pretty much you see it all, right, like literally,

704
00:33:08,440 --> 00:33:10,520
Speaker 7: and a coach coming down the street after he dropped

705
00:33:10,520 --> 00:33:12,880
Speaker 7: the kid off at practice, ends up signing me and

706
00:33:12,920 --> 00:33:13,360
Speaker 7: my three.

707
00:33:13,240 --> 00:33:14,760
Speaker 4: Younger cousins up to play ball.

708
00:33:15,200 --> 00:33:18,040
Speaker 7: And it's my guy until this day, right, And me

709
00:33:18,080 --> 00:33:20,200
Speaker 7: and my three younger cousins that he signed up in

710
00:33:20,200 --> 00:33:22,600
Speaker 7: that street, all of us end up going to college,

711
00:33:22,800 --> 00:33:25,440
Speaker 7: and we broke a generational curse in our family, right,

712
00:33:25,480 --> 00:33:28,200
Speaker 7: And he helped us. And so for my children. They're

713
00:33:28,200 --> 00:33:31,160
Speaker 7: growing up black, white Chinese kids. Some of their best

714
00:33:31,160 --> 00:33:33,040
Speaker 7: friends are white, some of their best friends are black.

715
00:33:33,440 --> 00:33:36,320
Speaker 7: And when the things started happening with the cops, right

716
00:33:36,840 --> 00:33:39,560
Speaker 7: about people in the world talking about cops, you know,

717
00:33:39,640 --> 00:33:42,400
Speaker 7: cops killing black people, whatever the case may be. When

718
00:33:42,400 --> 00:33:46,120
Speaker 7: that started happening, my children came home and they had questions,

719
00:33:46,240 --> 00:33:48,320
Speaker 7: right because they would hear it, people would discuss it,

720
00:33:48,680 --> 00:33:50,520
Speaker 7: and we don't ever try to make them feel like

721
00:33:50,560 --> 00:33:53,360
Speaker 7: they're living in fantasy land, right, Like I talked to

722
00:33:53,440 --> 00:33:56,520
Speaker 7: my nine year old son like he's nineteen, Right, I

723
00:33:56,560 --> 00:33:59,320
Speaker 7: talked to my ten year old daughter like she's twenty

724
00:33:59,400 --> 00:33:59,840
Speaker 7: years old.

725
00:34:00,040 --> 00:34:01,360
Speaker 4: We have real dialogue.

726
00:34:01,720 --> 00:34:04,480
Speaker 7: And so when that started happening, they came home and

727
00:34:04,480 --> 00:34:06,480
Speaker 7: they had questions, and they were like, man, why are

728
00:34:06,480 --> 00:34:10,279
Speaker 7: people saying police are bad? Like we just seen mister

729
00:34:10,360 --> 00:34:13,640
Speaker 7: Tummy at lunch with the K nine. He's awesome, Like

730
00:34:13,680 --> 00:34:16,080
Speaker 7: he let us pet the K nine talk to us

731
00:34:16,080 --> 00:34:19,600
Speaker 7: about life, and we just educated him right about the

732
00:34:19,640 --> 00:34:23,000
Speaker 7: perspective that some people have, why they have it, and

733
00:34:23,160 --> 00:34:25,400
Speaker 7: making sure that they're educating they got a well balanced

734
00:34:25,440 --> 00:34:28,840
Speaker 7: perspective about you know, people, about race and about different

735
00:34:28,840 --> 00:34:31,359
Speaker 7: things that transpire in the world and don't treat it

736
00:34:31,400 --> 00:34:33,319
Speaker 7: like his fantasy land. So when they go out into

737
00:34:33,320 --> 00:34:36,960
Speaker 7: the world, they get a dose of truth, they're not surprised, right.

738
00:34:38,200 --> 00:34:40,839
Speaker 3: Yeah, man, that's that's great. And I feel like, no

739
00:34:40,880 --> 00:34:44,279
Speaker 3: matter what creed, color, religion, that's just good for any

740
00:34:44,360 --> 00:34:48,080
Speaker 3: kid to know, right, know that balance and be educated

741
00:34:48,160 --> 00:34:50,680
Speaker 3: on what's going on the temperature of society and not

742
00:34:50,760 --> 00:34:53,480
Speaker 3: be in that bubble because then you said, you're setting

743
00:34:53,520 --> 00:34:55,520
Speaker 3: them up for to be surprised and set them up

744
00:34:55,520 --> 00:34:59,120
Speaker 3: for conflict and failure later on with some kind of situation.

745
00:35:00,000 --> 00:35:01,799
Speaker 1: Are you writing a book? You should write a book.

746
00:35:01,880 --> 00:35:02,719
Speaker 1: Have you written a book?

747
00:35:02,760 --> 00:35:05,600
Speaker 4: Yea, yeah, yeah. I came out with one little autobiography.

748
00:35:05,640 --> 00:35:08,320
Speaker 7: But I am writing a journal because I'm a big

749
00:35:08,480 --> 00:35:11,040
Speaker 7: like devotion guy. Yeah, and so I've been writing a

750
00:35:11,120 --> 00:35:14,120
Speaker 7: journal like an everyday deal. That's what I do every

751
00:35:14,160 --> 00:35:16,480
Speaker 7: single day. Like I got a routine to where I

752
00:35:16,560 --> 00:35:18,680
Speaker 7: journal and I write and some working on that.

753
00:35:19,120 --> 00:35:24,400
Speaker 1: Okay, I love that. That's that's awesome. And then obviously

754
00:35:24,480 --> 00:35:26,680
Speaker 1: with you know, speaking in COVID and all that stuff,

755
00:35:26,680 --> 00:35:29,480
Speaker 1: where you're doing just a bunch of zooms and being

756
00:35:29,520 --> 00:35:33,400
Speaker 1: able to still go out that way at least, oh,

757
00:35:33,440 --> 00:35:34,040
Speaker 1: Yeah for sure.

758
00:35:34,120 --> 00:35:39,080
Speaker 7: So doing doing a lot of zooms WebEx Microsoft. Yeah,

759
00:35:39,120 --> 00:35:42,560
Speaker 7: but also going to some sites with some engagements that

760
00:35:42,600 --> 00:35:45,520
Speaker 7: I have and just simulcasting out. So I'll go to

761
00:35:45,560 --> 00:35:48,040
Speaker 7: a site and it'll be like the leadership there and

762
00:35:48,120 --> 00:35:51,000
Speaker 7: I'll go speak and then some teams are still you know,

763
00:35:51,080 --> 00:35:54,280
Speaker 7: going live, and so I'll come in, you know, socially distanced,

764
00:35:54,280 --> 00:35:55,720
Speaker 7: and now I'll go in and do my work.

765
00:35:55,920 --> 00:35:58,000
Speaker 4: So it's been cool, it's been neat.

766
00:35:58,200 --> 00:36:01,479
Speaker 3: That's awesome. Well, Inky, thank you so much for your time. Brother.

767
00:36:01,560 --> 00:36:04,239
Speaker 3: We really appreciate it. We're privileged to have you on here,

768
00:36:04,280 --> 00:36:08,239
Speaker 3: and we really encourage our listeners to follow you Inky

769
00:36:08,320 --> 00:36:11,360
Speaker 3: Johnson motivate on Instagram and Inky Johnson dot com is

770
00:36:11,400 --> 00:36:12,160
Speaker 3: your website.

771
00:36:12,600 --> 00:36:17,239
Speaker 1: Because they took his other name, it's not fair, but

772
00:36:17,400 --> 00:36:18,920
Speaker 1: still follow him because he's.

773
00:36:20,680 --> 00:36:23,360
Speaker 3: So we Again, man, we appreciate you. When all this

774
00:36:23,440 --> 00:36:26,000
Speaker 3: COVID stuff is over, Man, if you're ever in Nashville,

775
00:36:26,320 --> 00:36:27,960
Speaker 3: hit us up. We'd love to get together.

776
00:36:28,680 --> 00:36:29,760
Speaker 4: Absolutely. It is a pleasure.

777
00:36:29,800 --> 00:36:30,680
Speaker 1: Thank You're the best.

778
00:36:30,719 --> 00:36:34,200
Speaker 2: Thanks Inky, Thanks, brother, appreciate you, Thank you.

779
00:36:37,600 --> 00:36:40,680
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, I love him the Can he please

780
00:36:40,760 --> 00:36:42,520
Speaker 1: be your alarm clock every morning?

781
00:36:43,480 --> 00:36:46,280
Speaker 3: If I if I like a voice member of anduld

782
00:36:46,280 --> 00:36:49,520
Speaker 3: be like, wake your ass up, Mike, I'll be ready

783
00:36:49,560 --> 00:36:49,759
Speaker 3: to go.

784
00:36:50,480 --> 00:36:52,560
Speaker 1: He's great. I really like him a lot.

785
00:36:52,680 --> 00:36:53,680
Speaker 3: Told you you like him.

786
00:36:54,239 --> 00:36:56,800
Speaker 1: I I'd love to see him live.

787
00:36:56,960 --> 00:36:58,440
Speaker 2: I mean, oh my gosh, it would be amazing.

788
00:36:58,520 --> 00:37:01,640
Speaker 1: We hire him for a private, right, Can you come

789
00:37:01,680 --> 00:37:02,719
Speaker 1: over to our house and just have.

790
00:37:02,760 --> 00:37:03,480
Speaker 2: A private boy.

791
00:37:03,520 --> 00:37:05,480
Speaker 3: I mean, he's in the Atlanta area, and whenever we

792
00:37:05,520 --> 00:37:08,279
Speaker 3: get our wind down shows back on the road and

793
00:37:08,320 --> 00:37:10,719
Speaker 3: we get to Atlanta, we're going to get him out there,

794
00:37:10,840 --> 00:37:11,239
Speaker 3: I hope.

795
00:37:11,239 --> 00:37:14,440
Speaker 1: So I know, Yeah, he's awesome. So you guys definitely

796
00:37:14,480 --> 00:37:21,840
Speaker 1: follow him and motivate yourself because he'll motivate you. Motivate yourself.

797
00:37:22,040 --> 00:37:23,560
Speaker 3: I think we got an email or something. Let's wrap

798
00:37:23,640 --> 00:37:23,960
Speaker 3: up with that.

799
00:37:24,280 --> 00:37:25,960
Speaker 1: Let's take a break, and then let's do the email.

800
00:37:25,960 --> 00:37:36,000
Speaker 8: Boobo sounds good.

801
00:37:39,239 --> 00:37:41,560
Speaker 1: All right, Let's finish up with an email. This is

802
00:37:41,600 --> 00:37:44,920
Speaker 1: from Kate. I've been with my boyfriend for almost fifteen years,

803
00:37:45,040 --> 00:37:48,040
Speaker 1: and a few months ago I discovered text messages, chat apps,

804
00:37:48,080 --> 00:37:51,520
Speaker 1: and some other stuff that made me extremely uncomfortable. I

805
00:37:51,560 --> 00:37:54,239
Speaker 1: confronted him and we talked about how I felt. He

806
00:37:54,400 --> 00:37:57,480
Speaker 1: was super apologetic and promised that it would never happen again.

807
00:37:57,960 --> 00:37:59,960
Speaker 1: We'll fast forward a few months and I see that

808
00:38:00,080 --> 00:38:03,480
Speaker 1: app on his phone yet again. I called him out

809
00:38:03,520 --> 00:38:05,320
Speaker 1: and he told me he was reaching out to people

810
00:38:05,360 --> 00:38:07,359
Speaker 1: to see if they were also going through the same

811
00:38:07,400 --> 00:38:10,719
Speaker 1: feelings he was. I've suggested counseling and he wants no

812
00:38:10,800 --> 00:38:13,080
Speaker 1: part of it. After reading your book and listening to

813
00:38:13,080 --> 00:38:15,080
Speaker 1: your podcast, I truly think he could be a sex

814
00:38:15,120 --> 00:38:17,640
Speaker 1: addict and either doesn't know or doesn't know how to

815
00:38:17,680 --> 00:38:20,400
Speaker 1: admit or express that. I'm just not sure how to

816
00:38:20,440 --> 00:38:22,759
Speaker 1: bring this up in a conversation in a healthy way.

817
00:38:23,120 --> 00:38:28,319
Speaker 1: All or any advice would be greatly appreciated. I mean,

818
00:38:29,640 --> 00:38:34,120
Speaker 1: we've definitely been through this, you know, with like I'll

819
00:38:34,120 --> 00:38:37,080
Speaker 1: never do it again, like with the apps and the

820
00:38:37,120 --> 00:38:39,640
Speaker 1: texts and you know those things. And I think when

821
00:38:39,680 --> 00:38:41,239
Speaker 1: they say they'll never do it again, but then they

822
00:38:41,239 --> 00:38:46,799
Speaker 1: do it again, that that's that then is the potential

823
00:38:46,840 --> 00:38:51,759
Speaker 1: of some kind of potential addiction maybe or just not

824
00:38:51,760 --> 00:38:52,800
Speaker 1: not necessarily.

825
00:38:52,960 --> 00:38:57,960
Speaker 3: I think, you know, that behavior is just trying to

826
00:38:58,000 --> 00:39:01,080
Speaker 3: save face, be like I'll never do it. Yeah, okay, okay, okay,

827
00:39:01,120 --> 00:39:03,680
Speaker 3: I never did it again. There's a lot more that

828
00:39:03,719 --> 00:39:10,200
Speaker 3: goes into the addictive pattern, but you know, if I

829
00:39:10,200 --> 00:39:15,719
Speaker 3: don't know the whole, this is tough. It's tough. It's

830
00:39:15,719 --> 00:39:18,480
Speaker 3: tough to bring this up because she's going to get

831
00:39:18,520 --> 00:39:23,000
Speaker 3: hit with defensiveness. You know, like if she's like, hey,

832
00:39:23,080 --> 00:39:24,640
Speaker 3: I think you're a sex actor. I think you have

833
00:39:26,520 --> 00:39:28,360
Speaker 3: is she's going on, you need to go see somebody.

834
00:39:29,480 --> 00:39:33,040
Speaker 3: If he's not willing to see somebody, he's going to

835
00:39:33,080 --> 00:39:33,640
Speaker 3: be defensive.

836
00:39:34,040 --> 00:39:37,040
Speaker 1: So then what why you know, I'll just point this

837
00:39:37,080 --> 00:39:41,319
Speaker 1: to you because you know, maybe she can relate. When

838
00:39:41,400 --> 00:39:44,359
Speaker 1: you've deleted things and then then you do it again

839
00:39:44,440 --> 00:39:48,479
Speaker 1: with chat apps or you know, like the the app

840
00:39:48,520 --> 00:39:51,840
Speaker 1: that you had and then redid it last year, it's like,

841
00:39:51,880 --> 00:39:54,040
Speaker 1: well why you know, like, what what are you guys

842
00:39:54,040 --> 00:40:00,480
Speaker 1: searching for? Especially when you say you'll never do again.

843
00:40:00,800 --> 00:40:02,040
Speaker 1: This will help Kate.

844
00:40:04,880 --> 00:40:07,200
Speaker 3: I mean, I can't answer for him because everybody's different,

845
00:40:07,800 --> 00:40:13,440
Speaker 3: but he's he's clearly searching for something that he feels

846
00:40:13,520 --> 00:40:19,000
Speaker 3: like he's missing, whether it's autonomy, whether it's connection, whether it's.

847
00:40:19,320 --> 00:40:20,880
Speaker 1: By the way, it makes none of it right, just

848
00:40:20,920 --> 00:40:21,239
Speaker 1: that Foine.

849
00:40:21,320 --> 00:40:29,680
Speaker 3: No, no, no, no, not at all. Unfortunately. I appreciate

850
00:40:30,440 --> 00:40:33,360
Speaker 3: you know, her asking how to bring it up in

851
00:40:33,400 --> 00:40:38,560
Speaker 3: a healthy way and I think along with that, she

852
00:40:38,680 --> 00:40:40,640
Speaker 3: just has to kind of state to boundary and it's

853
00:40:40,680 --> 00:40:43,600
Speaker 3: telling and be like, look, I love you, I just

854
00:40:43,760 --> 00:40:47,160
Speaker 3: I need you to talk to somebody about this, and

855
00:40:47,280 --> 00:40:52,120
Speaker 3: until you do, says some sort of boundary. You know,

856
00:40:52,120 --> 00:40:56,000
Speaker 3: they've been together fifteen years, they have a lot of history,

857
00:40:56,120 --> 00:41:00,319
Speaker 3: so he needs to be able to respect that. And

858
00:41:00,360 --> 00:41:01,879
Speaker 3: she can say, I'm not telling you what you can

859
00:41:01,960 --> 00:41:04,200
Speaker 3: or can't do. I'm just asking you to please go

860
00:41:04,239 --> 00:41:06,520
Speaker 3: talk to somebody because I need this.

861
00:41:08,160 --> 00:41:10,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, and if he doesn't, then you have

862
00:41:10,239 --> 00:41:14,440
Speaker 1: to wonder what you're non negotiable as, Yeah, because if

863
00:41:14,440 --> 00:41:17,520
Speaker 1: he doesn't want to go to therapy, then you know

864
00:41:18,239 --> 00:41:19,520
Speaker 1: it's probably gonna happen again.

865
00:41:20,840 --> 00:41:23,680
Speaker 3: Yeah. I mean it's very seldom just not saying it's

866
00:41:23,760 --> 00:41:27,719
Speaker 3: not possible, but very seldom to someone stop secretive behavior

867
00:41:28,120 --> 00:41:33,640
Speaker 3: behavior cold turkey, you know, like typically they have to

868
00:41:33,640 --> 00:41:37,719
Speaker 3: do something to kind of recover from that and find

869
00:41:37,719 --> 00:41:41,239
Speaker 3: a healthy outlet and talk to somebody and digest it,

870
00:41:41,920 --> 00:41:45,200
Speaker 3: dissect it where it's coming from, and process it. So

871
00:41:46,960 --> 00:41:49,359
Speaker 3: that's my only advice is just I mean, I think

872
00:41:49,440 --> 00:41:51,160
Speaker 3: she has a good mindset coming from a healthy place,

873
00:41:51,200 --> 00:41:53,000
Speaker 3: but just deliver it from a healthy place, and I

874
00:41:53,000 --> 00:41:53,760
Speaker 3: think it'll be okay.

875
00:41:54,520 --> 00:41:58,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, definitely lead into it vulnerable, say what you want,

876
00:41:58,239 --> 00:42:01,600
Speaker 1: but also what you can't, you don't want, and what

877
00:42:01,640 --> 00:42:03,719
Speaker 1: you're not going to stand for, because that's that's not

878
00:42:03,760 --> 00:42:06,160
Speaker 1: okay regardless. You know, if he's looking for something, he

879
00:42:06,160 --> 00:42:07,759
Speaker 1: needs to express in a healthy way and not go

880
00:42:07,800 --> 00:42:11,160
Speaker 1: behind your back and do those things because that's childish.

881
00:42:12,560 --> 00:42:19,600
Speaker 1: So we have Thanksgiving coming up. I'm so excited.

882
00:42:20,080 --> 00:42:20,839
Speaker 3: I cannot wait.

883
00:42:21,120 --> 00:42:24,799
Speaker 1: I'm a little sad though, well, I mean it's you know,

884
00:42:26,160 --> 00:42:30,000
Speaker 1: it's just weird not being home for Thanksgiving. Yeah, you know,

885
00:42:30,200 --> 00:42:33,279
Speaker 1: grandparents are getting old. It's just sad. But this is

886
00:42:33,320 --> 00:42:37,000
Speaker 1: the first year you're going to try to attempt the turkey.

887
00:42:38,160 --> 00:42:40,600
Speaker 2: I'm cooking a turkey.

888
00:42:40,760 --> 00:42:40,960
Speaker 3: Yeah.

889
00:42:40,960 --> 00:42:44,040
Speaker 1: On the stuffing, this justin.

890
00:42:45,680 --> 00:42:47,840
Speaker 3: This flash, Well I knew I was doing the stuffing,

891
00:42:47,880 --> 00:42:49,400
Speaker 3: which there's a lot of pressure on me.

892
00:42:50,000 --> 00:42:52,080
Speaker 1: A ton of pressure because stuffing is like my favorite

893
00:42:52,080 --> 00:42:53,200
Speaker 1: thing and the entire.

894
00:42:52,960 --> 00:42:54,440
Speaker 2: Planet box stovetop.

895
00:42:54,760 --> 00:42:55,399
Speaker 3: Let's do it.

896
00:42:55,440 --> 00:42:58,120
Speaker 1: What's your favorite Thanksgiving pumpkin pie?

897
00:42:58,320 --> 00:43:01,280
Speaker 2: All day? I know you hate pie.

898
00:43:02,360 --> 00:43:06,320
Speaker 1: It literally tasted crackers. It's like the cross is love pie.

899
00:43:07,160 --> 00:43:09,279
Speaker 1: I mean, my grandma made a great pie, but I

900
00:43:09,320 --> 00:43:11,279
Speaker 1: just don't think I could do it. Remember the time

901
00:43:11,320 --> 00:43:16,680
Speaker 1: you tried making pie crust. But the stuffing is going

902
00:43:16,760 --> 00:43:18,960
Speaker 1: to be great, and I mean, you know, you'll just

903
00:43:19,000 --> 00:43:21,160
Speaker 1: have to give it Grandpa's love.

904
00:43:21,760 --> 00:43:23,560
Speaker 2: I'm gonna try, but I hope.

905
00:43:23,360 --> 00:43:26,120
Speaker 1: All of you guys have a happy and healthy Thanksgiving

906
00:43:26,400 --> 00:43:29,640
Speaker 1: and just there's a lot to be thankful for. I

907
00:43:29,640 --> 00:43:31,719
Speaker 1: know it's been a crazy year, but try to look

908
00:43:31,719 --> 00:43:34,840
Speaker 1: at the little things and find even if it's the

909
00:43:34,920 --> 00:43:37,880
Speaker 1: smallest thing, there's still plenty to be thankful for because

910
00:43:37,880 --> 00:43:41,560
Speaker 1: we're alive. We're listening to this right now, and yeah,

911
00:43:41,560 --> 00:43:42,960
Speaker 1: we love you guys. Happy Thanksgiving.

912
00:43:43,000 --> 00:43:44,040
Speaker 3: Happy Thanksgiving, guys.