Speaker 1: Look, you show me films to be bettered with. Hello,
Speaker 1: and welcome to films to be buried with. My name
Speaker 1: is Brett Goldstein. I'm a comedian and actor, a writer, director,
Speaker 1: a lava lamp, and I love films. As Zady Smith
Speaker 1: once said, you can't learn anything without making a mess first,
Speaker 1: which is why Greece two is a much better film
Speaker 1: than Greece one. Mistakes were made than they were completely
Speaker 1: and utterly and totally rectified. Every week, and by a
Speaker 1: special guest over, I tell them they've died. Then I
Speaker 1: get them to discuss their life through the films, the
Speaker 1: men and most of them. Previous guests include Barry Jenkins,
Speaker 1: Kevin Smith, Sharon Stone, and even Dead Clambles. But this
Speaker 1: week it is the brilliant comedian mister Mark Simmons. All
Speaker 1: episodes of Shrinking season two and season one are now
Speaker 1: available on Apple TV. Get caught up on all of them.
Speaker 1: You will fucking love it. Get over to the Patreon
Speaker 1: at patroon dot com forward slash Brett Goldstein, where you
Speaker 1: get an extra fifteen minutes of chat with Mark secrets,
Speaker 1: beginnings and endings. You also get the whole episode uncut
Speaker 1: and Advrey and does a video. Check it out over
Speaker 1: at patreon dot com. Forwards left Bret Goldstein, So Mark Simmons.
Speaker 1: Mark Simmons is a brilliant comedian. You've seen him on
Speaker 1: Mark the Week. He's a fucking excellent joke writer. Loads
Speaker 1: of his jokes have won awards at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival.
Speaker 1: I hadn't seen him in a very long time and
Speaker 1: it was really lovely to catch up on Zoom and
Speaker 1: I really think you're gonna love this one. His new
Speaker 1: special called Quip Off the Mark, comes out this month.
Speaker 1: Check it out online. I think it's on YouTube, you
Speaker 1: can find it there, and it's absolutely brilliant. Mark is
Speaker 1: an old friend. We recorded this on Zoom and it
Speaker 1: was really lovely to catch up with him, and I
Speaker 1: really think you're gonna love this one.
Speaker 2: So that is it for now.
Speaker 1: I very much hope you enjoy episode three hundred and
Speaker 1: thirty six of Films to be Buried With. Hello, I'd
Speaker 1: welcome to Films to be Buried With. It is I
Speaker 1: Brett Goldstein, and I'm in today by an actor, a writer,
Speaker 1: a podcaster and the Weaker, a one liner, a pun merchant,
Speaker 1: a special, a star of youtubeer, star of TV, a
Speaker 1: star of the BBC and a star of the Edinburgh
Speaker 1: Fringe Festival, and star of the London comedy scene.
Speaker 2: Please will you welcome to the show. I can't believe
Speaker 2: he's here.
Speaker 3: He really is. It's the brilliant here he is. It's
Speaker 3: Mark Simmons. Wow, thank you, thank you very much. I
Speaker 3: was wondering what you're I'm a big fan of this podcast.
Speaker 2: Oh thanks mate.
Speaker 4: And I'm impressed how many things you could think of
Speaker 4: fed because I couldn't come up that many.
Speaker 2: I think actors generous, but I appreciate it. You had
Speaker 2: your own BBC show.
Speaker 4: I had no I had some things I've made myself independently.
Speaker 2: Are you going to retract it? Now? Rest, let's start again.
Speaker 2: Let's going on.
Speaker 4: Actually, this probably my most proud achievement is acting related.
Speaker 4: It's a bit of a brag early on, but I
Speaker 4: think it's a brag. I don't know if it's a brag.
Speaker 4: You tell me if you think this is a brag.
Speaker 4: But my friend and I used to make these improvised
Speaker 4: mockumentary things, and that friend then went back to the
Speaker 4: US and he's now studies at NYU and one of
Speaker 4: his tutors is or like a specialist tutor with Spike Lee.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 4: And he showed he had to show Spike Lee some
Speaker 4: of his work and some of which was me playing
Speaker 4: these really mad characters. And he told me that Spike
Speaker 4: Lee said about me, and I quote, where do you
Speaker 4: find this motherfucker?
Speaker 2: That's fucking huge? Why aren't you in the next Spike
Speaker 2: Lee film? Well? I put it out there now, mate,
Speaker 2: this is it. He listens to this, right, Yeah, he's
Speaker 2: a huge band, The Patriot. I mean it might not
Speaker 2: be positive. Where do you find this motherfucker? Yeah? I
Speaker 2: love that.
Speaker 1: I want to see these. I said it to you,
Speaker 1: Mark Series. It's so nice to you. I ain't seen
Speaker 1: you in fucking ages. We know each other from comedy.
Speaker 1: When did we?
Speaker 2: When did?
Speaker 4: I haven't seen you in like years, I think for
Speaker 4: the last time I saw you. We were gigging in
Speaker 4: a cave in Macfest. That was mad, wasn't it.
Speaker 2: Oh? When we did Now I understand what you mean.
Speaker 2: We really did.
Speaker 1: We did a gig literally in a like a cave tour.
Speaker 1: People are doing a tour underground in a cave, and
Speaker 1: we had to hide in various spots.
Speaker 4: Of the cave and we were just left there on
Speaker 4: our own till they found us.
Speaker 2: It was so scary in the pitch black.
Speaker 1: We had to find like a sort of hiding place,
Speaker 1: and then when they their torches came on us, we
Speaker 1: had to like come to life and do a stand
Speaker 1: up set.
Speaker 2: You know, I forgot that because you me and loose handers.
Speaker 2: I think, yes, that was mad. Yeah.
Speaker 4: We had to get a boat to get into the caves,
Speaker 4: didn't we Yes.
Speaker 1: And it was like we were like madame two swords,
Speaker 1: like wax figures, hiding in the caves and then we
Speaker 1: like suddenly are talking about porn.
Speaker 4: It's so small because there was a festival going on
Speaker 4: and they could have just come to watch us in
Speaker 4: a nice comfy venue, could have.
Speaker 1: Come to the shows, but they decided to go splunking instead.
Speaker 2: Is that what that is?
Speaker 4: I think so, but I take it. Yeah, Wow, that
Speaker 4: is such a great memory. Word down Mark, I'd forgotten
Speaker 4: that mental as comics, you do end up doing some
Speaker 4: mad gigs, don't you, Yeah, because that what's the matterest.
Speaker 4: I mean, I've done gigs to nudists, so I didn't
Speaker 4: where everyone was naked.
Speaker 2: Including Sydney. No, no, not me.
Speaker 4: But I did get one of those apron things, you know,
Speaker 4: but got the naked man on the front. Yes, so
Speaker 4: I wore that and that they appreciated that. Where was
Speaker 4: that killburn pub No? Yeah, Ben Vanderveld ran it.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, was he naked? No?
Speaker 4: None of the comics were naked. I feel like you
Speaker 4: lose as a comic. You need a little bit of
Speaker 4: status and kind of power. And I feel like if
Speaker 4: there's a staring that your thing.
Speaker 1: The thing is mark. I've said this, and it's a fact.
Speaker 1: If you wear shorts as a comedian, you doomed. Yeah
Speaker 1: you have you have your legs have.
Speaker 2: To be covered.
Speaker 4: I think arms as well. I do much better if
Speaker 4: I've got my arms covered than short sleeves.
Speaker 2: Maybe that's where I'm going wrong. I wear a T shirt?
Speaker 2: Do you have your guns out? I can't do that.
Speaker 2: That's all they're thinking about.
Speaker 1: Fuck it, Yeah you're naked, But if everyone else is
Speaker 1: naked and you're wearing clothes, then that feels disrespectful. I
Speaker 1: don't know, but yeah, you're fuck there's no chance you're
Speaker 1: making him laugh. You don't, And if they are laughing,
Speaker 1: it's you don't want that. When you're naked. So the
Speaker 1: one time you don't want people laughing is when you're naked.
Speaker 1: But if I need to, I'll do it for the love.
Speaker 4: But you know, they say the thing that like, if
Speaker 4: you're nervous about going on stage, you should imagine the
Speaker 4: audience naked. In reality, it doesn't help. If anything, it
Speaker 4: makes it worse.
Speaker 2: Was it a good gig? Like I think? I think
Speaker 2: it was all right.
Speaker 4: The weirdest thing about it is like after the gig,
Speaker 4: you know, when you get sometimes get all these cup
Speaker 4: to you say you're well done, nice.
Speaker 2: Set, they just come out to you and they're just
Speaker 2: all naked.
Speaker 4: Like Actually, I tell you, the weirdest thing about the
Speaker 4: whole gig was it sounds horrible, but it's the smell of.
Speaker 2: The room because.
Speaker 4: If you think when you have closed on it's protecting
Speaker 4: you in that sweaty of iron man soaking some of
Speaker 4: that up. But it was pungent. No, yeah, I can
Speaker 4: still still still smell it. I can if I think
Speaker 4: about it. They must have got undressed in the room
Speaker 4: because I wasn't. There was a guy on the door
Speaker 4: to stop just anyone walking in and everyone everyone's watching you.
Speaker 4: Everyone's not secretly looking around at everyone else.
Speaker 2: They're all used to it. I don't get it.
Speaker 4: If anything, I'm the one that was looking at everything else.
Speaker 4: It's quite a lot to take here. What I did
Speaker 4: notice that, You know how you have habits on stage.
Speaker 2: You don't realize.
Speaker 4: I at the time I had a habit of sort
Speaker 4: of after a joke, looking down to my right hand side,
Speaker 4: and every time I did, I clocked a man's penis.
Speaker 4: But I did it so often it looked like I.
Speaker 2: Was, Yeah, fascinated by that. Obviously more questions.
Speaker 1: So then afterwards they were like, yeah, I really enjoyed
Speaker 1: the gig, and you're just staring at their eyes. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm trying to ignore the smell. Yeah, you get used
Speaker 1: to smell after a while.
Speaker 4: Fascinating, but yeah, but after that I did Actually, after that,
Speaker 4: I kept getting emails asking if I do naked weddings.
Speaker 2: But I had to be naked, that was the that
Speaker 2: was the issue, and I thought, I just can't do that.
Speaker 1: So you turned down the proposal. Yeah, yeah, would you
Speaker 1: do it? And theyke your wedding?
Speaker 2: Yeah no, because I think think, I.
Speaker 1: Guess I've never thought about it. I guess I don't
Speaker 1: really understand nudes because if you're not, if you're not
Speaker 1: aroused by it, what's it for? Do you know what
Speaker 1: I mean?
Speaker 2: Like? Or isn't it killing? So I don't know if
Speaker 2: it's like wonder if that happens. Yeah, but then this
Speaker 2: is why I don't get if it's inappropriate, then what
Speaker 2: happens when you are meant to you know what I mean? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Like we have clothes to differentiate between what is when
Speaker 1: is an appropriate time and not to have an erection?
Speaker 2: Maybe they put clothes onto sex.
Speaker 1: Fucking right, they do. That's the mating ritual, I think.
Speaker 1: So they cover up the legs, to cover up the arms.
Speaker 1: Here we go, all something's happening, fascinating, So you prom
Speaker 1: since we were hiding in a cave from Luce Anders,
Speaker 1: you've got your first specially it's not your first pession.
Speaker 2: That I watched, That doesn't it? Oh? Yeah, did you
Speaker 2: see it? Then? I did watch it. It's very very,
Speaker 2: very funny. Where did you? Where is that? And that's
Speaker 2: at the Forge, you know, the New Brighton venue.
Speaker 1: Stephen Grant's got oh cool, really nice man, it's fucking great.
Speaker 2: It's so funny. Oh thank you.
Speaker 1: So many jokes too, many jokes, too many jokes, so
Speaker 1: many jokes.
Speaker 4: It's stressful because I got right the next one now,
Speaker 4: Mark Simmons, if anyone is listening, like in American May
Speaker 4: is brilliant comedian.
Speaker 2: Mostly what do you say? One liners?
Speaker 4: Mostly yeah, one line is a little set pieces. When
Speaker 4: I'm doing a full length.
Speaker 1: Show, I find I think, I find it stressful because
Speaker 1: I think of how much work you have had to do,
Speaker 1: and I know with me, I go like, yeah, I
Speaker 1: got one idea. I can string that out for ten minutes.
Speaker 1: You've got one idea and it's gone in ten seconds.
Speaker 1: I'm like, fuck, yeah, what a nightmare.
Speaker 4: When I'm writing, I am so jealous of acts like you,
Speaker 4: where you can just get an idea and run with
Speaker 4: it and get every little ounce of comedy out of
Speaker 4: an idea. But I feel like for me, once you've
Speaker 4: got that set that works and the jokes are good
Speaker 4: for me, it's nothing better for just being able to
Speaker 4: go bang bang bang bang. But it does take a
Speaker 4: while to get to that point. You have to write
Speaker 4: a lot of jokes. That's where my podcast idea came from.
Speaker 4: It is because I write so many jokes that I
Speaker 4: was like, so many jokes I like, and there's good ideas,
Speaker 4: but the reason for them not working isn't always that
Speaker 4: they're bad. There's so many different reasons. So I wanted
Speaker 4: to give of some life to those jokes. I had
Speaker 4: a podcast where I'll get comedians to talk about jokes
Speaker 4: they can't get to work, and it's really fun. And
Speaker 4: like I say, for a one liner show, I'd say, God,
Speaker 4: if I have two hundred jokes in the show, maybe
Speaker 4: I've probably written a thousand to get to that point
Speaker 4: in total.
Speaker 1: And your warm up, you're trying stuff is just reading
Speaker 1: out one hundred jokes, taking what works.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I tried to reduce any performance. I'd have the
Speaker 4: mic in a stand and I'll just I just want
Speaker 4: the words to do the work, and then once I
Speaker 4: know that is solid, I'll add stuff to it, expression, movement,
Speaker 4: stuff like that.
Speaker 1: Is something I thought about you. If I may say
Speaker 1: this is a compliment, don't panic. Some people with one
Speaker 1: line of comedians are like I don't you know, because
Speaker 1: of the sort of very nature of them. They aren't
Speaker 1: necessarily particularly revealing about the comic themselves. They're not the
Speaker 1: most personal, you know what I mean. Generally, the jokes
Speaker 1: are jokes about anything. They don't necessarily tell you who
Speaker 1: that person is. I think you, as a performer are
Speaker 1: incredibly genuine, Like I think we are seeing you interesting.
Speaker 4: I'm glad you said that because for me, that was
Speaker 4: actually the turning point of performing, was when I discovered
Speaker 4: that I should just be me telling jokes.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's how.
Speaker 1: It's like, you're lovely, we like hanging out with you,
Speaker 1: and you do brilliant jokes. It isn't just here's a
Speaker 1: wacky guy doing incredible jokes. It's like, here's a really
Speaker 1: funny guy being himself doing really funny jokes.
Speaker 2: Oh, thank you mate, that's nice. Yeah, I think so.
Speaker 4: For me, when I write a joke, I want the
Speaker 4: joke to start in reality, whereas a lot of oneline
Speaker 4: of comics that there's no really you could say I
Speaker 4: was talking to a camel.
Speaker 2: He had the I don't know. That's obviously not a
Speaker 2: good joke, but do you know what I mean? He doesn't.
Speaker 2: There's no rules, But I like it to start in reality.
Speaker 4: So each time I start a joke, the audience are like, Okay,
Speaker 4: he got us with those last couple, but this is
Speaker 4: definitely true. Yeah, I'll know he got me again, but
Speaker 4: the next one is definitely true. I mean, that's what
Speaker 4: I want to kind of keep resetting, so I guess
Speaker 4: that helps.
Speaker 2: It's so hard what you do. And also in your
Speaker 2: specialized impressed with the different like sections, as in it
Speaker 2: isn't just one line and one line of one liner.
Speaker 1: You've got some prop stuff, you do stuff with the audience,
Speaker 1: like you break it up into kind of different things
Speaker 1: to keep it.
Speaker 2: It's just so much work.
Speaker 4: Man, Well you say that, but it's like this is
Speaker 4: the best job in the world. It's like, yeah, I did,
Speaker 4: Like I'm very glad I did kind of twelve years
Speaker 4: of a proper job, so that I do appreciate that
Speaker 4: this is a ridiculous job that we get to do
Speaker 4: and how much fun it is. And like I do
Speaker 4: work out, but I always feel like I could work
Speaker 4: a carter because it doesn't feel like real work, do
Speaker 4: you know what I mean?
Speaker 2: I do know what you mean.
Speaker 1: But also you're really fun, like you are not all
Speaker 1: comics of You're like a fun comedian I think, and
Speaker 1: you come across as fine on stage, and it is
Speaker 1: like fun being in the audience. It's fun being in
Speaker 1: a cave with you but.
Speaker 2: Fuck, I forgot to tell you something.
Speaker 1: Oh ship, No, with your special coming out and everything,
Speaker 1: do you know what, I actually think this would be
Speaker 1: good for your special. I actually think it'll get more
Speaker 1: eyes on it on the upside. But on the down side,
Speaker 1: you're dead.
Speaker 4: Oh what.
Speaker 2: I should have pulled it out. I should have brought
Speaker 2: it out earlier.
Speaker 1: Yeah no, I also I should have told you earlier.
Speaker 1: It's mad that I forgot.
Speaker 2: But here we are. You've died. How did you die? Oh? Mate,
Speaker 2: it's dramatic. It was a Tsuna army. Jesus. No one's
Speaker 2: on this, no one. Yes, I've got points for that.
Speaker 2: What happened? Yeah, you get actually twenty points. What happened?
Speaker 4: Well, so, I've always, since I was a kid, had
Speaker 4: to recur in nightmares of tsunamies. That's the thing. That's
Speaker 4: just I don't know why. It's really weird. So but
Speaker 4: it turns out it was a premonition. What happened was
Speaker 4: I I'm not a particularly I'm not particularly a dare
Speaker 4: death for or anything like that, Like I went jump
Speaker 4: out of a plane, I went anything like that. And
Speaker 4: I was in Australia last year and someone wanted me
Speaker 4: to go and surf and I've never surfed, and the
Speaker 4: idea of sharks eating you and stuff like that, it's
Speaker 4: not I'm not interested.
Speaker 2: But they were bugging me so much about it.
Speaker 4: I just went on my own to a secluded beach
Speaker 4: to sort of have a go because I wanted to.
Speaker 4: I want to be good at it when I did
Speaker 4: it around people. Yeah, And I was just waiting for
Speaker 4: the wave and as it was coming, I was like, oh,
Speaker 4: this is like a good one, but it was like
Speaker 4: it is too good and it was huge and it
Speaker 4: just crushed me.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, where was this brightan? No one else
Speaker 2: was harmed, though, which was really nice. It's just you know,
Speaker 2: it was really localized tsunami. Yeah. Fuck, I don't hate
Speaker 2: this for you.
Speaker 1: You died sort of drowning in a washing machine type.
Speaker 4: I think I was kind of crushed between lots of things, right,
Speaker 4: rocks and stuff.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 4: It was throwing me around everywhere, and I think I
Speaker 4: think I probably did drown in the end.
Speaker 1: Do you think you had this premonition because you watched
Speaker 1: Deep Impact when you were little?
Speaker 2: No, because that would have been too late.
Speaker 4: I was having it before that, right, I think that
Speaker 4: how were was the deep impact deep backs nineties. I
Speaker 4: do slightly remember there was a like a kid's you know,
Speaker 4: like those kids TV shows where just as you get
Speaker 4: back from school and it's like they're kind of like
Speaker 4: a serial.
Speaker 2: There's like, I don't know, ten episodes or something.
Speaker 4: I vaguely remember something about a tidal wave in that,
Speaker 4: but I have tried to look it up since and
Speaker 4: I can't find what it was. But I think that's
Speaker 4: what put the in my head. I feel like that,
Speaker 4: isn't it if you're going to go? Yeah, I think
Speaker 4: seeing that wave come up, isn't It's quite an experience
Speaker 4: to have.
Speaker 2: Before you go. I think so.
Speaker 1: I think if it's not hurting anyone else, if no
Speaker 1: one else the time, it's just fine wave.
Speaker 4: I love it. I think it's a great way to go.
Speaker 4: Everyone just happened to leave Brighton for the day. Yeah,
Speaker 4: they all went up down. Do you worry about death?
Speaker 4: I used to, but I don't anymore really. So my
Speaker 4: nan passed away like for about ten years ago now,
Speaker 4: and we knew she was going, and so she was
Speaker 4: on her deathbed and we'd sort of take it in
Speaker 4: turns to sort of be with her constantly. Yeah, and
Speaker 4: when she did pass. I just happened to be the
Speaker 4: person that was with her, holding her hand, and it
Speaker 4: was I was really petrified that I was going to
Speaker 4: be the person. And then when it happened, it was
Speaker 4: so kind of peaceful and it's hard to blame, but
Speaker 4: it felt like it's difficult to describe. It felt like
Speaker 4: something had happened. I know it had happened, but it
Speaker 4: felt like something in the room. I don't know, but
Speaker 4: it just did you feel her leave? So I guess
Speaker 4: I guess subconsciously. I don't know. It's hard to explain,
Speaker 4: but I definitely felt something. And after that I wasn't
Speaker 4: really worried about myself as such dying. The thing I
Speaker 4: worry more about is like the people I leave behind,
Speaker 4: do you know what I mean? Like how will the
Speaker 4: general public cope? But I feel like I don't want
Speaker 4: to put anyone through that emotional stuff because I died,
Speaker 4: do you know what I mean? I don't like the
Speaker 4: idea of that.
Speaker 2: Are you are you? Are you a spirit man? Did
Speaker 2: you feel like your nan soul was in the room
Speaker 2: and moved? But I'm not like that at all.
Speaker 4: No, that's not something that I had a preconceived You know,
Speaker 4: But then I guess my nan just died in front
Speaker 4: of me. I guess that is a big thing anyway.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I think you're feeling that makes sense, like
Speaker 2: it definitely felt like something that happened, like a moment.
Speaker 4: And what do you think happens after you die? Well again,
Speaker 4: so I can't. Before I used to think sort of nothing. Really,
Speaker 4: I was quite satisfied with that's probably the case. But
Speaker 4: I have had a few spooky experiences in the spooky incident.
Speaker 4: So my stepdad's parents lived His whole family had lived
Speaker 4: in this cottage for like five hundred years. It's very old,
Speaker 4: and my parents, my mom and my stepdad inherited it
Speaker 4: and there was this time that they want to do
Speaker 4: work on it, so they had to wait for panning
Speaker 4: permission because it was like a listed building. So I
Speaker 4: went and lived there for a bit, just look after
Speaker 4: the place. And over the years there have been stories
Speaker 4: of creepy kind of spooky things happening there. And so
Speaker 4: I had two experiences. So one was I got back
Speaker 4: from work, I put my sports bag in the middle
Speaker 4: of the table in the front room, and then I
Speaker 4: went into the lounge and I was in the lounge watching.
Speaker 4: I was probably watching the film and I was in
Speaker 4: there for about two hours.
Speaker 2: Now.
Speaker 4: I remember putting that bag in the middle of the
Speaker 4: table and then out of nowhere, the bag just hit
Speaker 4: the floor, fell off, and I know it was in
Speaker 4: the middle and it was two hours, it's not like
Speaker 4: it was just And that freaked me out. So I
Speaker 4: went up to bed and I forgot something, so I
Speaker 4: went back downstairs turn the lights on in that room.
Speaker 4: And as I turned the lights on, that all the
Speaker 4: light bulbs blue.
Speaker 2: It was like that that. I was like, absolutely not,
Speaker 2: so straight up to bed, barricaded the door. Not that
Speaker 2: would do anything. So that was weird.
Speaker 4: And then I moved out, my parents moved in, and
Speaker 4: then during lockdown, so I had a breakup. So then
Speaker 4: I moved back for the second lockdown into my parents' place.
Speaker 4: And there was this one night, so I had my
Speaker 4: phone on the charge, you know those you don't like
Speaker 4: it in be just put it on top of the thing.
Speaker 4: So I put it on there, went to sleep, and
Speaker 4: I woke up to the sound of my hoodie hitting
Speaker 4: the bedroom door. So that woke me up, and when
Speaker 4: I looked up, the hoodie was over by the door.
Speaker 4: And that isn't where I leave it.
Speaker 2: Oh God. So then I was like, that's odd. And
Speaker 2: then I looked for my phone.
Speaker 4: I couldn't find my phone, and I know i'd put
Speaker 4: it on charge, remember it very clearly, looked everywhere, went downstairs.
Speaker 2: It was early in the morning.
Speaker 4: My mum was going to work, and I said to her,
Speaker 4: could just come upstairs to have I quit look with
Speaker 4: me because this is really strange. And she came up,
Speaker 4: looked everywhere, and the last resort we thought, I would
Speaker 4: lift a mattress up because it's the only place we
Speaker 4: haven't looked. And as you lift the mattress up, on
Speaker 4: the floor, right in the middle of the bed was
Speaker 4: my phone, just sitting there with stuff around it. And
Speaker 4: there's a gra gent in the room, so it was
Speaker 4: your opposite, so it couldn't have fallen off and rolled
Speaker 4: like impossible.
Speaker 2: Like the only way to get it there.
Speaker 4: Would be to go on your hands and knees and
Speaker 4: push it through all the stuff under the bed and
Speaker 4: place it there.
Speaker 2: So that's weird.
Speaker 4: And also later on in the day there's a spare
Speaker 4: room next door, and later on we went in there
Speaker 4: and you know, on the back of the door you
Speaker 4: get like loads of hooks and clothes hanging off the
Speaker 4: back of it. They all those clothes have been flung
Speaker 4: across the room.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, and we're everywhere.
Speaker 4: So that's kind of made me think there's something. What
Speaker 4: did you do about this, Polta Ghuyst. Does your mum
Speaker 4: and stepdad still live there? Yeah, they haven't had any
Speaker 4: trouble at all. It was you they wanted you out. Well,
Speaker 4: technically I'm not a blood relative, so that could be
Speaker 4: a thing.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 4: But yeah, so that's that's made me think that there's
Speaker 4: I'm not saying it's ghosts, but it's something. I think
Speaker 4: it's something. My brother's a bit of a skeptic and
Speaker 4: he he's like, so you're saying there's more likely to
Speaker 4: be that than you sleepwalking and doing it all.
Speaker 2: But I've never been known to sleepwalk.
Speaker 1: No, I mean, it's definitely a poto gheist. You've just
Speaker 1: described a post. Yeah, that's definitely.
Speaker 2: And they wanted you out of the house.
Speaker 4: Yeah, But weirdly, I'm not scared of it at all.
Speaker 4: I actually I kind of like the idea that it
Speaker 4: is something, do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: I do so what do you think will happened to
Speaker 1: you when you're doing this tsunami? You think you'll go
Speaker 1: around moving people's shit around?
Speaker 2: Get my own back? Just to my brother, Yeah, are
Speaker 2: you sleepwalking? In sleep walk? So I I honestly don't know.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 4: I don't think it's I know what you're going to
Speaker 4: tell me in a minute, but I don't think it's
Speaker 4: like a heaven or anything like that.
Speaker 2: Oh, what's something?
Speaker 1: Don't be ridiculous, market, there is a heaven and you're
Speaker 1: going and it's filled with your favorite thing.
Speaker 2: What's your favorite thing? Wrestling? Fucking hell?
Speaker 1: It's there are matches day and night. There are wrestlers
Speaker 1: as well. Do you want to be Yeah, yeah, you're
Speaker 1: wrestling everyone. Everyone introduces themselves by smacking the chair across
Speaker 1: your back, and you're so strong and you're picking up rowdy.
Speaker 2: Roddy Piper and trying him.
Speaker 1: Yeah he'll be up there, Yeah, trying Bret the hit
Speaker 1: man Heart and the undertakers there and you're like, oh,
Speaker 1: good to see you. He's like, I got nothing to
Speaker 1: do up here and everyone so all the rest are
Speaker 1: so excited to see you. I had talked to you
Speaker 1: about your life through film. The first thing they ask you,
Speaker 1: what's the first film you remember seeing Mark Simmons.
Speaker 4: The first film I saw at the cinema, and I
Speaker 4: know it definitely is this film is Edwards Hands.
Speaker 1: Wow, that's a great first film. Yeah, but it's a
Speaker 1: great first because it is a great film. Yeah, but
Speaker 1: at the time it wasn't. So basically it It's brought
Speaker 1: up all.
Speaker 4: The time in our family because it was the first
Speaker 4: time my mum and her friend took all the kids
Speaker 4: to the cinema, and even though I was four or five,
Speaker 4: I think I have a clear memory of afterwards them
Speaker 4: really laughing because of how bad the film was, because
Speaker 4: they were not expected.
Speaker 2: It just wasn't what they thought it was going to be.
Speaker 2: It's not a kids film.
Speaker 4: Really, no, I don't think, and I'm guessing they saw
Speaker 4: Edwards Hands.
Speaker 2: I thought it's some sort of superhero film, do you
Speaker 2: know what I mean? A shot.
Speaker 4: And I remember him cutting in himself freak me out
Speaker 4: a bit. I have a clear memory of that. But
Speaker 4: I didn't rewatch it for a long time after because
Speaker 4: I just thought it was bad, because everyone just we
Speaker 4: just knew it as a bad film. And then when
Speaker 4: I've rewatched it. I really like it now. I watched
Speaker 4: it actually last year.
Speaker 2: Where was this you went? Where were you grown up
Speaker 2: in Kent in the town called Ashford? As Did we
Speaker 2: first meet at a gig in Kent?
Speaker 5: Was it?
Speaker 1: Now?
Speaker 2: Says that King's Head we first met? How was it?
Speaker 2: Open note? I think so? I think so? Do you know?
Speaker 1: I once seed that open make note? I did it
Speaker 1: once and I forgot every single person's name every single
Speaker 1: time there was It was like like I went mad.
Speaker 1: Every single person I came went, please go in the days,
Speaker 1: it was really bad, and he never he never brought
Speaker 1: me back again.
Speaker 4: I've got a real fear about forgetting people's names because
Speaker 4: I've forgot the names before of people.
Speaker 2: That I've known years.
Speaker 4: For some reason in my head, when I'm about to
Speaker 4: do that bit, I just think, wouldn't it be bad
Speaker 4: if I could remember their name and then it just
Speaker 4: completely goes blank. So I always write it on the
Speaker 4: back of my hand. Now yeahfo, you.
Speaker 2: Would have had to have small writing for that gig. Yeah,
Speaker 2: there's too many names.
Speaker 1: And I kept going again, come on, I come on
Speaker 1: and I do a bit, and the bit would then
Speaker 1: wipe my brain and I'd go fuck.
Speaker 4: I've wanted to talk to you about this because I
Speaker 4: just quickly ask you about this thing please.
Speaker 2: So you remember Kurt Driver? Yes? Yes, you and Kurt Yes. Yeah.
Speaker 4: His real name is Stuart Foreman and he's sort of
Speaker 4: just started comedy again in Australia.
Speaker 2: So we talked quite a lot. Why was he called
Speaker 2: Kurt Driver?
Speaker 4: I think he said it was a stage name, and
Speaker 4: whether if he used to play video games. That was
Speaker 4: his video game name for some reason, so he just
Speaker 4: went with that when he started comedy. Yeah, but we
Speaker 4: quite often talk about this bit that you did. Do
Speaker 4: you know it's a bit I'm going to ask you
Speaker 4: about your little Miss Sunshine.
Speaker 2: Yeah, do you remember it?
Speaker 4: Because I've got feeling we remember it way more than
Speaker 4: you two.
Speaker 2: I don't know what it is.
Speaker 4: I feel like it must we must have seen a
Speaker 4: really good because I have spoken about years ago and
Speaker 4: you were like, oh, yeah, I think I only did
Speaker 4: that a few times, but we must have seen one
Speaker 4: of the times where it really worked and it stuck
Speaker 4: in our heads.
Speaker 2: Do you remember what it was at all? Yeah? I
Speaker 2: think it because I did it at Richard Sandler's Perfect Movie.
Speaker 2: That's what I did it.
Speaker 1: And then I tried it in the real world and
Speaker 1: it kept I don't to be honest, I probably wasn't
Speaker 1: an experienced enough comedian to make it work in rooms
Speaker 1: where people didn't care about films. Well that was but
Speaker 1: maybe now I could. But yeah, it was. It was
Speaker 1: by film of the year. It was picking my family
Speaker 1: and my family. It was a Little Sunshine and mid
Speaker 1: Little of Sunshine were really close. And then on Boxing
Speaker 1: Day there's enough going to do in its pans labor
Speaker 1: and I'm like, is that it? That's yeah, that's what
Speaker 1: I have to tell little and she's not going to
Speaker 1: be filmed.
Speaker 2: So good.
Speaker 1: It's really so sad, so exciting, and I'm like, we
Speaker 1: need to talk.
Speaker 2: What is it?
Speaker 1: You know how a year we've been saying, yeah, you
Speaker 1: remember that?
Speaker 4: Yeah, So it's stuck in my head. I know it's funny,
Speaker 4: that isn't it. But there's loads of people where in
Speaker 4: those early days. I think those early days are stand up.
Speaker 4: I came into it so unprepared, Like so Stuart was
Speaker 4: a friend of mine and he just confidded me to
Speaker 4: have a go. I didn't know comedy clubs existed. I
Speaker 4: knew nothing about because I was so scared of talking
Speaker 4: in front of people. It wasn't anything I considered doing,
Speaker 4: and I feel like it was so impressionable everything that
Speaker 4: happened then. So there's le acts that I haven't seen
Speaker 4: since the first year. Yeah, I can remember load of
Speaker 4: their routines.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, me too, for sure. There's an open mic
Speaker 1: person who may have only done three gigs that I
Speaker 1: did a gig in Hammersmith. My sister and her husband
Speaker 1: came to watch me. I think they were the only
Speaker 1: two people in the audience. Maybe there was one other
Speaker 1: person in the audience plus the acts. And there was
Speaker 1: a guy who went on the middle who we to
Speaker 1: this day still quote. We still really he might have
Speaker 1: done three gigs, but we remember a word for word,
Speaker 1: every single bit of his five minutes.
Speaker 2: That's amazing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, love to Cat Driver, who I really thought was
Speaker 1: called Kurt Driver all this time.
Speaker 2: So sorry to break that to you. What a fraud?
Speaker 2: What is the film that scared you the most? Do
Speaker 2: you like being scared?
Speaker 4: I don't like jump scares at all, zero tolerance, right,
Speaker 4: not a fan of them.
Speaker 2: I don't see that. I just don't understand them.
Speaker 4: I don't see the point of them, Like you could
Speaker 4: enjoy a horror film without those I think, do you
Speaker 4: know what I mean? No, I like the concept of
Speaker 4: horror films, like I like the creativity. I like how
Speaker 4: there's no rules and you can literally come up with
Speaker 4: something like it follows. Like that's just a really creative
Speaker 4: concept and it's terrifying if it was something that could happen,
Speaker 4: which it can't. So that doesn't scare me, do you
Speaker 4: know what I mean? I just realized, I say, do
Speaker 4: you know what I mean?
Speaker 2: A lot? That's right. I just noticed that.
Speaker 4: I've never noticed that before, such a London thing, do
Speaker 4: you know what I mean? And when I was a kid,
Speaker 4: I used to get scared a lot, so everything scared,
Speaker 4: like Ghostbusters, the dogs, Like I was just terrified of
Speaker 4: certain sort of dogs because of that. And the same
Speaker 4: thing with like never ending story. You know, that dog
Speaker 4: in the Cave really really scared me. If you watch
Speaker 4: it now, it's just like a puppet. It looks so
Speaker 4: it's like Sesame Street. It's such a weird thing to
Speaker 4: be scared of. But the actual film that scared me
Speaker 4: the most, and I've only ever seen one scene out
Speaker 4: of it is it And what happened was I'd woken
Speaker 4: up from a nightmare.
Speaker 2: I used to have loads of nightmare as well as
Speaker 2: a kid.
Speaker 4: And I'd come down upstairs and my mom was sort
Speaker 4: of seeing to me, and then I think she went
Speaker 4: off to make me a drink, and the TV just
Speaker 4: happened to be on, and I didn't know what the
Speaker 4: film was, and for the years, I didn't know what
Speaker 4: the film was.
Speaker 2: But there was a scene and I always remember it.
Speaker 4: So clearly where there's a washing line and then you
Speaker 4: see the clown and it scared me so much and
Speaker 4: I was terrifying the clowns for years after that. And
Speaker 4: like I've only it was only recently, but where I
Speaker 4: sort of described it to someone, they go, oh, that's it,
Speaker 4: and I still haven't watched it. I haven't watched it.
Speaker 4: I don't even know if it is a scary film.
Speaker 4: That bit really freaked me out. Like the other day,
Speaker 4: my mom was going through some old photos and that
Speaker 4: was one of my brother's birthday parties and there's a
Speaker 4: cloud older four years older, and there was a clown
Speaker 4: at his birthday party. And I said to my mom,
Speaker 4: I was like, Mum, why aren't you in any of
Speaker 4: these photos? And she was like, I was outside deally
Speaker 4: with you, like, I just had a sleep outdown.
Speaker 2: Why are you such a sensitive boy? Do you think?
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 4: I don't know. I've got an overactive brain, I think,
Speaker 4: But I used to. I mean I don't. I don't
Speaker 4: have nightmares or anything now. But when I was a kid,
Speaker 4: like awful, like my mum would like, I'd really scarer,
Speaker 4: I think, because I'd wake up in such a state.
Speaker 2: I'd be like, I'm dying. I'm dying.
Speaker 4: Like now, I'm like, my poor mom, I feel so bad.
Speaker 4: Imagine that your kid, cry kid, But yeah, I was
Speaker 4: an absolute mess. I don't know why. What about crying?
Speaker 2: Then? What's the film that made you cry the most?
Speaker 4: Not linked to the way I died at all? But
Speaker 4: the impossible?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 4: But that, but it's not the actual that the tsunami didn't.
Speaker 4: Isn't what made me cry. I went to watch the
Speaker 4: film with so I used to work in the gym
Speaker 4: and I always used to go with my friend who
Speaker 4: works there, to the Cinny World. We'd both had Senni
Speaker 4: World cards and we didn't know what the film was about,
Speaker 4: but we just went to watch it.
Speaker 2: And towards the end of the.
Speaker 4: Film, I noticed that we were more or less sitting
Speaker 4: back to back because of how much we were crying.
Speaker 2: Gradually the other person couldn't see us. That film. Have
Speaker 2: you seen it?
Speaker 4: I have.
Speaker 2: I think it's a great, great film.
Speaker 4: Like the emotional, it just comes at you from all angles.
Speaker 4: Because suppose it depends how you watch the film. But
Speaker 4: for me, I tend to put myself in the place
Speaker 4: of the characters. So like, so you put yourself in
Speaker 4: the place of the mum and you're like, she thinks
Speaker 4: her husband's dead, the two children are dead, and you
Speaker 4: put yourself in the son's position, and the mom looks
Speaker 4: like she's probably gonna die. And then he thinks his
Speaker 4: dad and the others are dead, and then you go
Speaker 4: from the dad's point of view he thinks the other
Speaker 4: two and it's.
Speaker 2: All like crazy.
Speaker 4: And then at the end when they spoiler alert, when
Speaker 4: they find each other.
Speaker 2: I was a sobbing mess.
Speaker 1: There's scene and there's a scene that film I think
Speaker 1: about I Love where you McGregor makes the phone call
Speaker 1: home and he does it like he's a wreck, and
Speaker 1: then they haven't got a lot. There's some people are
Speaker 1: like sharing a fame and then he hangs up and
Speaker 1: then they make him cool again.
Speaker 4: Yeah, because he's been said to it. Yeah, it's very
Speaker 4: sweet that bit. They're like, you can't leave it like that. Yeah,
Speaker 4: there's so many points, and like at the end, because
Speaker 4: there's someone else that the.
Speaker 2: Dad was was it a dad's helping but.
Speaker 4: There's some basically you discover right at the end that
Speaker 4: the person that was helping the dad he was also
Speaker 4: looking for his family and you find out that they'd
Speaker 4: been killed. And the moment when the kids actually, for me,
Speaker 4: the biggest, bigest emotional point was when the kids the
Speaker 4: brothers found each other and they're sort of running towards
Speaker 4: each other, and I guess I put myself in my
Speaker 4: position with being my brother and yeah, it's just non stop.
Speaker 4: And I don't know about you with crying, but like,
Speaker 4: I'm totally open to crying. I don't mind crying at
Speaker 4: a film. But I won't watch that film again. No, God, Like,
Speaker 4: I've only ever seen Bambi once. Yeah, I watched that.
Speaker 4: I watched the Where We Live in time and I
Speaker 4: thought it was excellent. But I will not watch that again.
Speaker 2: I can't. I can't.
Speaker 1: I can't knowingly put myself through that. I agree with
Speaker 1: that what's the film that you love? People think is shit,
Speaker 1: but you think it's brilliant.
Speaker 2: Cloud atless.
Speaker 1: Oh mate, great shout, you get another twenty points.
Speaker 4: It's one of my favorite films and I don't know
Speaker 4: anyone that's seen it.
Speaker 2: I've seen it, and I love it. Yes, first person
Speaker 2: I've been hable to talk to about it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, huge, huge swings all over the place. I've made
Speaker 4: people watch it and they haven't got it.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 4: And I feel like it is complicated, and because it's
Speaker 4: jumping around six time periods and they don't spoon feed,
Speaker 4: you don't really know what's happening, I feel like people
Speaker 4: will just naturally resist it and go, this is not
Speaker 4: just I don't know what's happening in rubbish. But when
Speaker 4: I first watched it, I was in Canada and there's
Speaker 4: a girl I used to work with and she told
Speaker 4: me about this book and she was telling me that
Speaker 4: the film was coming out soon and it sounded interesting.
Speaker 4: And then when I was in Canada, I was just
Speaker 4: killing a bit of time and I went to watch
Speaker 4: this film and I didn't know what it was, but
Speaker 4: as I was watching it, I started to twig that
Speaker 4: this is probably the film she was talking about and
Speaker 4: I was really enjoying it, but I wasn't really understanding it,
Speaker 4: and I left and I remember thinking, I loved that.
Speaker 4: I don't know why or what it's about, really, but
Speaker 4: I thought about it constantly for the rest of the day.
Speaker 4: And then I went back on the same trip and
Speaker 4: rewatched it after reading up a bit about it, and
Speaker 4: the second view was really nice because then I was
Speaker 4: sort of piecing together everything and I watch it loads,
Speaker 4: and it's such a great cast. I honestly, when I
Speaker 4: came back from Canada, I was like, this is going
Speaker 4: to be the biggest hit, Like I just because I
Speaker 4: got so much.
Speaker 2: This is a terrible centers.
Speaker 4: I've got so much feeling from it, like it's a
Speaker 4: real big emotional payoff, and I guess it's I love
Speaker 4: the con set of the following the soul across the
Speaker 4: time zones, which was represented by a birthmark during the film. Yeah,
Speaker 4: I didn't pick up like I had to read up
Speaker 4: to understand that, But I don't know if you've got
Speaker 4: that straight away.
Speaker 1: But yeah, I I may have read it before. But
Speaker 1: I love a film that's taking big swings. It's huge,
Speaker 1: taking some big.
Speaker 4: Swings and what's also complicated is because they've got this
Speaker 4: great cast. It's the same cast members are playing different
Speaker 4: characters in each time zone, but it's not the same
Speaker 4: The soul isn't the same actor, so that that makes
Speaker 4: it slightly more complicated to get across.
Speaker 1: I think that's true, but I love it. What great answer.
Speaker 1: That's one of the best dancewers with that respect. Yes,
Speaker 1: on the other hand, what's the film you used to
Speaker 1: love that you do not like anymore when you've watched
Speaker 1: it recently, perhaps you have changed.
Speaker 4: I feel like this isn't gonna I don't want minus points,
Speaker 4: but I feel like this is probably up before. But
Speaker 4: it was a big part of my childhood and I
Speaker 4: loved it. And that's Police Academy.
Speaker 2: It's okay.
Speaker 4: And during the lockdown, so I was living with my
Speaker 4: girlfriend at the time and she was a bit younger
Speaker 4: than me, so we had these It was really nice.
Speaker 2: It sort of got us through the start of the lockdown.
Speaker 4: Was we dove his movie nights, and we had another
Speaker 4: housemate who was her age and we dove his movie
Speaker 4: nights and each night we choose something. So I'd always
Speaker 4: chose something that they wouldn't have seen from sort of
Speaker 4: when I was growing up, and I definitely overregged it.
Speaker 4: I was like, this is the funniest Honestly, this is
Speaker 4: the funniest film.
Speaker 2: It's so funny.
Speaker 4: They made seven of them. It's like I really overregged it.
Speaker 4: And when I was watching it, I was embarrassed.
Speaker 2: That's how like. There are elements of it that are funny.
Speaker 4: There's also troubling things there, as well as most of
Speaker 4: those eighties films, but one of them at one point
Speaker 4: just went, why are we watching this? No retrospect, I
Speaker 4: probably shouldn't have made them watch all seven. It gets better,
Speaker 4: you have to get through the first ribe. And it
Speaker 4: was such a tradition though, like so my parents. They
Speaker 4: broke up when I was about four or five, and
Speaker 4: then whenever we go to my dad's every other weekend,
Speaker 4: we'd always watch like a he'd rent a film for Blockbuster,
Speaker 4: and whenever a Police Academy came out, that would always
Speaker 4: be one that we watched. That's quite a it's a
Speaker 4: tradition and that feels I do miss that, that feeling
Speaker 4: of like walking into his living room and seeing the
Speaker 4: Blockbuster table on the table and you don't even know
Speaker 4: what it is because it's like it's a blank cover,
Speaker 4: so exciting.
Speaker 2: Young people don't know what that's like. They don't know
Speaker 2: they're born. I miss that too. What is the film
Speaker 2: that means the most to you? Not necessarily the film
Speaker 2: itself is good, but the experience you had seeing it
Speaker 2: will always make it meaningful to you. So I'm going
Speaker 2: for sky Fall with this one. So my stepdad, I've
Speaker 2: had a stepdad in my life for a long time
Speaker 2: and he is a brilliant stepdad, but we didn't ever
Speaker 2: really have interest in common, so like he'd be into gardening,
Speaker 2: fixing cars. I'm into sports movies, stuff like that. But
Speaker 2: he loved James Bond and I love James Bond, so
Speaker 2: when we were younger, we'd always watched James Bond films,
Speaker 2: and then when the Daniel Craig films, like when.
Speaker 4: Casino Royale came out, I took him to see that
Speaker 4: and we had a nice time, and it started this
Speaker 4: tradition that every time a James Bond film we'd go
Speaker 4: and watch that together. And it's something I really love
Speaker 4: that we do. And with Skyfall, it's such a good
Speaker 4: film and it's for me. It's definitely the best James
Speaker 4: Bond film. And afterwards, throughout the film, we kept look
Speaker 4: at each other like just the nostalgia of it and
Speaker 4: kind of felt like that should be the last one.
Speaker 4: So I feel, just feel it was so good you
Speaker 4: just couldn't top it. And we just kept talking about
Speaker 4: it all the way home the next days. Even now
Speaker 4: we will talk about it every so often, and I
Speaker 4: just love that ironically it bonded us. Sorry, but it did,
Speaker 4: and I just love that tradition. So I hope they
Speaker 4: crack on and bring some more out. So that's so sweet,
Speaker 4: like you looking at each other. I can't believe this. Well,
Speaker 4: it's like when the Asta Martin came out, like they
Speaker 4: revealed the old Esta Martin, from the old Basic from
Speaker 4: the old films.
Speaker 2: It's just such a good moment. Nice.
Speaker 4: What's the film we most relate to? The film I
Speaker 4: most relate to is five Hundred Days of Summer. Oh Jesus,
Speaker 4: oh god, oh, what's what's happening? Mate's sad? I love
Speaker 4: that film, but his character, it was me. He's me
Speaker 4: in my early twenties. Yeah, heart on my sleeve just
Speaker 4: falls head over heels in love. And I had one
Speaker 4: relationship that was very similar to that vibe where everything
Speaker 4: she did was we're together, but she never would quite
Speaker 4: commit to that being a thing.
Speaker 1: You watched that film and we're like, that's me those Yeah.
Speaker 1: So it's such a good film.
Speaker 4: I really love the way it's put together, and I
Speaker 4: feel like, so now when I look back at that relationship,
Speaker 4: I'm like, yeah, she was twenty one, of course, yeah
Speaker 4: you know what I mean, Like in retrospect, like that's mad,
Speaker 4: but I was so kind of head over heels. It's
Speaker 4: a really interesting film because it's it's really like I
Speaker 4: spoke to someone about it and they took a complete
Speaker 4: different view of it to what I did. So they
Speaker 4: were like, like they were on her side, as in,
Speaker 4: yeah he was you know, she'd made it very clear
Speaker 4: that that's all she wanted, because there's a part of
Speaker 4: the film where she says she's not looking for anything
Speaker 4: serious and he's like yeah, okay, But then she carries
Speaker 4: on acting like that they are together, you know, and
Speaker 4: she knows how he feels. So it's really kind of
Speaker 4: as a great line. I think, interest, what do you
Speaker 4: think of it? I haven't watched it?
Speaker 1: In you the sequence in it, expectation versus reality is
Speaker 1: that is That is one of my favorite scenes in
Speaker 1: the film. Yeah, it's a really impressive and really depressing
Speaker 1: sequence but so much Yeah, and I think, yeah, i'd
Speaker 1: have to watch it again. But my memory is she
Speaker 1: she makes it clear, but she also doesn't.
Speaker 4: Yeah, she makes it clear, but she carries on like, yeah,
Speaker 4: and she knows that he doesn't think the same as her.
Speaker 2: But then he doesn't say it's all about communication in.
Speaker 4: It, Yeah, and it's but it's also about his journey
Speaker 4: of that was everything that's the most important thing to him,
Speaker 4: but then he finds other things to love in his life,
Speaker 4: and that's kind of a journey he takes. Yeah, like
Speaker 4: he saw, like he gets some focus on his career
Speaker 4: and he just finds other things to focus on, yeah
Speaker 4: than just and then when he's doing that, he actually
Speaker 4: finds someone who likes him back, and it's yeah, happy
Speaker 4: ever after. But what I like about the film is
Speaker 4: that it doesn't follow the rules of so I love
Speaker 4: a wrong com but like it actually says right at
Speaker 4: the top, this isn't a love story.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 4: I just think it's excellent. I just like it's just
Speaker 4: I don't really think there's anything another film like it.
Speaker 1: You know what I don't like about that film that
Speaker 1: I remember for him person is at the beginning it says,
Speaker 1: doesn't it say on the screen this is not about you?
Speaker 1: And it has a name, and then brackets it says bitch. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And I always thought that's the.
Speaker 2: Way it nice. That is very nice. It is about
Speaker 2: the writer, It is about something that. Yeah, it isn't
Speaker 2: very nice, is it? That's not very nice? What if
Speaker 2: the sexiest film you've ever seen? Mark Simmon.
Speaker 4: I probably wouldn't think it's the sexiest now, but the
Speaker 4: moment I first saw it, it was the sexiest thing
Speaker 4: I've ever seen.
Speaker 2: And it's a film called Chasers with Erica Elenia. Yeah,
Speaker 2: so then it's.
Speaker 4: Yeah, so she was so she was my favorite in
Speaker 4: Baywatch and I would have been really young, but in
Speaker 4: my teens I guess early teens.
Speaker 2: But I turned the TV on one night in my
Speaker 2: room and this film was on. I was like, oh,
Speaker 2: it's her.
Speaker 4: I quite like her, and the whole film she's trying
Speaker 4: so basically she's being transported. She's in prison being transported
Speaker 4: to another prison by two guys, and the whole film
Speaker 4: she's trying to produce them. It's very sexy and then yeah, exactly, mate,
Speaker 4: I didn't I didn't know sex scenes existed before this film.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I couldn't believe it. I could not believe what
Speaker 5: I was saying. Yeah, is that the pinnacle of cinema
Speaker 5: for that that exact moment for that fourteen year old boy,
Speaker 5: probably younger. Yeah, is that not a good answer for
Speaker 5: It's a wonderful answer, and it's exactly the right answer.
Speaker 5: And I am sick of people coming on this podcast
Speaker 5: and pretending that it's brief encounter or something. Yeah, I'm
Speaker 5: being real with you when it's clearly Jesus. But also
Speaker 5: like under siege obviously is her seeding that, yes, you
Speaker 5: understand the.
Speaker 2: Rules of this podcast. That is the correct answer.
Speaker 1: There is, however, a subpargree troubling Boner is worrying wide
Speaker 1: ones a film you found a rousing that you weren't
Speaker 1: sure you should.
Speaker 2: Okay, this is this is a bit weird. I think great,
Speaker 2: so so uh.
Speaker 4: When I was younger, very young, primary school age, there's
Speaker 4: a film called ThunderCats. The movie and it's it's not
Speaker 4: she Tara, I wish it was Sitara.
Speaker 2: So there's a scene. This is so weird there's a
Speaker 2: scene where.
Speaker 4: It's being chased and Mumra is the bad person, but
Speaker 4: it's not being chased by Momra, but it's being chased
Speaker 4: by this mummy thing. And there's a there's a bit
Speaker 4: where he's trying to get away and the bandages sort
Speaker 4: of grab him and then it sort of holds him down.
Speaker 4: Something about that did it for me. I don't know
Speaker 4: what it was, mummy, but I was so but I
Speaker 4: was so young, so but I do remember that's something
Speaker 4: something about that moment, you.
Speaker 2: Like a mummy holding you down.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think it was more me being the person
Speaker 4: being held down. Yeah, I don't know, but I don't
Speaker 4: even think I was old enough to be aroused. But
Speaker 4: I definitely remember thinking.
Speaker 1: Mark Simmons, I'm giving you more points to this because
Speaker 1: you have fully fully understood the remit. I'm giving you
Speaker 1: fifty points for your sexual answers. So, what is objectively
Speaker 1: the greatest film of all time?
Speaker 4: Yeah, this is a horrible question, isn't it. Good Will
Speaker 4: Hunting is the best film.
Speaker 2: For all time? Okay?
Speaker 4: Is that is that?
Speaker 1: Does that come up a lot? No, not in this category,
Speaker 1: but it comes up a lot. People talk about this
Speaker 1: film a lot, but it hasn't been object so great. No,
Speaker 1: that's okay. You put it in a different category. I
Speaker 1: think that's a lovely answer. I think it's flawless.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, don't. I haven't thought about it in that category.
Speaker 2: But you're like, yeah, there it is. It's stayed with
Speaker 2: all of us. We all think about it. It's now, however,
Speaker 2: many years old, didn't all of us remember it perfectly?
Speaker 2: You may be right? What do people normally bring that up?
Speaker 2: The category? Honest? This a lot, but I don't people
Speaker 2: always say the Godfather, don't they? No?
Speaker 4: No?
Speaker 2: Sorry, what does goodwill hunting come up?
Speaker 4: Oh?
Speaker 2: Maybe cried or related to you? So you know some
Speaker 2: people are math tenius. Yeah, I mean I actually my
Speaker 2: real answer you take so I is you real answer
Speaker 2: the Godfather? No?
Speaker 4: Though my real answers party kids. No, you won't accept it.
Speaker 4: I've heard you pooh pooh the Karty Kid on there before,
Speaker 4: and I also go to have it.
Speaker 2: Okay you can. What is the film you could or
Speaker 2: have watched the most over and over again, best of
Speaker 2: the best. Okay, do you know it? The Martial Arts film? Yeah?
Speaker 4: Yeah, I love this film. Yeah, I'm like I was
Speaker 4: as a kid I was obsessed with this film. Is
Speaker 4: this John pil Bandett, No, who is No. You got
Speaker 4: your Eric Roberts, You've got your Philip ree Lovely, You've
Speaker 4: got your Sally Kirkland, I've got your Christopher Penn mm hmm.
Speaker 4: And you've got your James L.
Speaker 2: Jones. But who is the best of the best. They
Speaker 2: all are. That's the beauty of it.
Speaker 4: So it's a martial arts team and they're training to
Speaker 4: fight in a tournament against the Korean team.
Speaker 2: Mm hmm.
Speaker 4: And the reason I love it I think when I
Speaker 4: was a kid, so I grew up doing martial arts.
Speaker 4: My dad teaches it so and we do taekwondo, and
Speaker 4: in the eighties every film was karate, and I just
Speaker 4: loved that this was actually taekwondo what they were doing.
Speaker 4: So all the fighting and everything is in the start
Speaker 4: of Takwando. Actually say karate in the film, which is
Speaker 4: really annoying because it isn't but they said that. I
Speaker 4: think they say that because that karate at that time
Speaker 4: was what sold. Yeah, but it's such a good film
Speaker 4: and it could be in the other categories of people
Speaker 4: think it's bad. But what I love about it as
Speaker 4: well as the ending. It's not like your standard ending
Speaker 4: of a it's deeper than a standard ending of a win.
Speaker 4: So they don't win is the ending.
Speaker 2: So what happens. So what happens is throughout the.
Speaker 4: Film, you you find out that the guy who's the
Speaker 4: main fighter in the other team, he kills the brother
Speaker 4: of the main fighter in an earlier tournament years before.
Speaker 4: So that character is going through the turmoil of fighting
Speaker 4: this guy in the training and can he do it?
Speaker 4: This guy killed his brother, And at the end he
Speaker 4: basically beats this guy and it gets to a point
Speaker 4: where he just needs to finish him off to win,
Speaker 4: but that would mean probably killing him, and he doesn't,
Speaker 4: and they lose, but he kind of wins because he's
Speaker 4: kind of dealt with that stuff.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so in a way, he's the best of the best. Yeah.
Speaker 4: When I was a kid, we watched this so much.
Speaker 4: My brother and I would recite it back and forward
Speaker 4: to each other. So when he was at UNI, i'd
Speaker 4: message him one of the lines and he messages back,
Speaker 4: and we just go back and forward.
Speaker 2: And through the whole film. It was a bit obsessive, really, Yeah,
Speaker 2: what's one of the lines? I mean, a team is
Speaker 2: not a team.
Speaker 4: Unless you give a damn about one another, we expect
Speaker 4: you to function as a team.
Speaker 2: As James L. Jones very good. I love it. You
Speaker 2: heard of him? Yeah, yeah, I heard of him.
Speaker 4: What's the worst for we've ever seen? The worst film
Speaker 4: I ever see was Expendables three. It's the only film
Speaker 4: I've ever actually walked out of a film. I don't agree,
Speaker 4: I don't do that. But I saw it in Edinburgh
Speaker 4: in twenty fourteen at the Festival, and I was my
Speaker 4: first solo show and I was so I was having
Speaker 4: a bad time out there. It was no one was
Speaker 4: coming to the show. I had a bad room. Everything
Speaker 4: was sort of going wrong with it, as you know,
Speaker 4: as can happen in Edinburgh. So I went there just
Speaker 4: to sort of get away from it. And it just
Speaker 4: it's just it was just pointless. Just there's no point
Speaker 4: to the film at all. It's just it was just nonsense.
Speaker 2: Like the first one. I kind of liked the first
Speaker 2: one a bit.
Speaker 4: Because I'm a big fan of those action films back then,
Speaker 4: and just seeing all those actors together was fun.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but you don't need to do it again and
Speaker 1: again They've done more, They've done Expondables yeah, yeah, I
Speaker 1: haven't seen it, but I think I was also probably
Speaker 1: a bit annoyed that there were more people in there
Speaker 1: watching that than my show.
Speaker 2: That's tough.
Speaker 4: I really get that, But I guess we feel it
Speaker 4: is a lot of like it depends how you're feeling,
Speaker 4: doesn't it with a film in all sorts of ways.
Speaker 4: If you're feeling sad at the time, or there's lots
Speaker 4: of things going on, you're probably more likely to quiet films.
Speaker 4: So I wasn't in a good place when I watched it,
Speaker 4: but I doubt if I really watched it, I change
Speaker 4: my mind.
Speaker 2: You don't really get any better. What is what you're in? Comedy?
Speaker 2: You're very funny. What's the film that made you laugh
Speaker 2: the most? Or is it please Academy?
Speaker 4: It's not pleae Academy Actually interestingly talking about like the
Speaker 4: environment and things. I feel like we've actually laughing out
Speaker 4: loud at a film. I think that's hard. I think
Speaker 4: that's really hard to achieve. And the best environment I've
Speaker 4: ever been in watching films is I used to work
Speaker 4: at Sinney World when I was eighteen nineteen, which one
Speaker 4: in ASHCVID, and they'd quite often do advanced showings like
Speaker 4: secret showings and everyone after.
Speaker 2: Work would go and watch the films. He wouldn't know
Speaker 2: what's coming.
Speaker 4: And that was such a great environment to watch films
Speaker 4: because it was full of it. There's like it was
Speaker 4: full with it with everyone from work. Everyone's the same age,
Speaker 4: everyone's into the same sort of things. And Anchorman came
Speaker 4: on and I knew nothing about Ankerman, so I had
Speaker 4: no conceptions hand sing a trailer, didn't know what it was,
Speaker 4: and it was It blew my mind.
Speaker 2: It was like I was discovering gold and I didn't
Speaker 2: know at this point.
Speaker 4: I had no idea who Will Ferrell was, no idea
Speaker 4: who Steve Carrell was. The gut laughs in that room.
Speaker 4: It was phenomenal. It's so surreal, so silly, the gag rat.
Speaker 4: And obviously we don't have sn now over here, so
Speaker 4: our experiences of watching these films must be so different
Speaker 4: to the people in America because they're like, well, let's
Speaker 4: go watch the film that Will Ferrell's in.
Speaker 2: We love him. But to discover him in that film
Speaker 2: for the first time, I'll never forget it. I loved
Speaker 2: it so much. I like that a lot.
Speaker 1: Mark Simmons, you have been such a delight and I'm
Speaker 1: so grateful that you reminded me about the caves. However,
Speaker 1: when you were convinced to take up surfing, and you thought,
Speaker 1: but I want to get good at this, and you
Speaker 1: hadn't read up that actually to get good at surfing
Speaker 1: probably takes a lifetime. Who before I just pop away
Speaker 1: for a weekend goes You didn't go with an instructor,
Speaker 1: by the way, you were on your own.
Speaker 2: You had a board, you bought, you had no idea
Speaker 2: do it. You'd watch the YouTube.
Speaker 1: But when you went out here were bright and everyone
Speaker 1: was up in London and you were like, you'd read
Speaker 1: big Waves today and you said, are great. And what
Speaker 1: you didn't read was big wave, huge waves, tsunami wave.
Speaker 1: That's where everyone's left brighton for the day. And you're
Speaker 1: paddling about on the board and you look behind you
Speaker 1: and you, oh, this one looks like one. And the
Speaker 1: way it just keeps growing, keeps growing, You're like, oh shit,
Speaker 1: and you're on the top of the wave. And then
Speaker 1: the way it turns you over and crushes you into
Speaker 1: the heavily beach it right to start with, that's not ideal,
Speaker 1: and it's smashing you into all the comedy clubs where
Speaker 1: you have been. You've killed there, but you've been smashing
Speaker 1: against all the comedy clubs, and your head gets smashed
Speaker 1: into the comedia wall and then smashed against a hotel
Speaker 1: you've rushed against rather in the water subsides. Everyone heads
Speaker 1: back to Brighton.
Speaker 2: I'm with him. I've got a coffin with me, you
Speaker 2: know what I'm like? I did Mark come with you?
Speaker 1: And then one goes no, he was practicing hisself, and
Speaker 1: I go, oh no, And we go down to the
Speaker 1: to the waterfront. Everything's fine, everyone's fine, except there's your
Speaker 1: body wrecked, smashed about and everywhere. You're missing the head anyway,
Speaker 1: I say, oh, help me with Mark. So we're picking
Speaker 1: you up. We're putting you in the coffin, but there's
Speaker 1: bits of you everywhere. Your head has swelled in the
Speaker 1: in the water stuff, and you have to chop up
Speaker 1: your head, stuff it in and get all of you
Speaker 1: in the coffin. There's more of you than I was expecting.
Speaker 1: The coffin is absolutely jammed. There is no room in
Speaker 1: this coffin. There is only enough room for me to
Speaker 1: slip one DVD into the side for you to take
Speaker 1: across to the other side, and on the other side,
Speaker 1: it's movie night every night. What film are you taking
Speaker 1: to show the wrestlers in Heaven when it's your movie night?
Speaker 2: Mister Mark Simmons go.
Speaker 4: I'm taking Karate Kid Wonderful because it's my favorite film.
Speaker 4: I could have answered it for nearly order of the questions.
Speaker 4: Mister Meaghi is my favorite character in any film. I
Speaker 4: think he brings everything to the role. He's funny, he'll
Speaker 4: make you cry. Nominated for an Oscar and I'd really
Speaker 4: for that role. And i'd really really like to sit
Speaker 4: down and watch it with him, and he's not longer
Speaker 4: with us. I'd like to pick his brain about it.
Speaker 1: Wow, that's a really lovely answer, Mark, You've been wonderful.
Speaker 1: Would you like to tell people to look out for you?
Speaker 1: What should they be watching? Where will they find your special?
Speaker 2: Oh? Yeah, see, I'm special on YouTube.
Speaker 4: It's called Quip Off the Mark And if you like
Speaker 4: one liners, I think you'll love it.
Speaker 2: If you like one liners, he's got a load of them.
Speaker 2: Oh and check out my podcast.
Speaker 4: It's called Jokes with Mark Simmons, and I chat to
Speaker 4: comedians about joke So I can't get to work.
Speaker 1: It's really good. Mark Simmons, what a delight. Thank you
Speaker 1: for doing this. I'm glad we managed to fill it in.
Speaker 1: It's lovely to see you. I hope you have a
Speaker 1: wonderful death. Good day to you, sir.
Speaker 2: Thanks than thank you very thank you.
Speaker 1: So that was episode three hundred and thirty six. Head
Speaker 1: over to the Patreon at patreon dot com. Forward to
Speaker 1: Aspect Goals team for the extra fifteen minutes of chat,
Speaker 1: secrets and video with Mark. Go to Apple Podcast. Give
Speaker 1: us a five star rating, but right about the film
Speaker 1: that means the most to you and why it's a
Speaker 1: lovely thing to read. It helps with numbers and it's
Speaker 1: much appreciated. I hope you're all well. Thank you for listening.
Speaker 1: Thank you to Mark forgiving me his time. Remember to
Speaker 1: watch his special online quip off the Mark Quip Off
Speaker 1: the Mark. Thanks to Scrubi's pipp and the Distraction Pieces
Speaker 1: of Network. Thanks to Buddy Peace for producing it. Thanks
Speaker 1: to iHeartMedia and Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network hosting it.
Speaker 1: Thanks to Adam Richardson for the graphics and leads to
Speaker 1: Lining for the photography. Now next week I have a
Speaker 1: genuinely very special guest, An astronaut, an actual person who
Speaker 1: has been in space. It is the only yes and
Speaker 1: person who has been in space I've ever had on
Speaker 1: this podcast, and it is an incredible episode and you
Speaker 1: do not want to miss it.
Speaker 2: So that is it for now.
Speaker 1: Thank you all for listening. I hope you're will, but
Speaker 1: in the meantime, have a lovely week, and please, now
Speaker 1: more than ever, be excellent to each other.