1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:06,200 Speaker 1: I'm not good at verbalizing my feelings. So if I 2 00:00:06,240 --> 00:00:09,840 Speaker 1: seem stoic to you, if I seem like I don't care, 3 00:00:10,680 --> 00:00:15,160 Speaker 1: it's not that I'm just not great at expressing it. 4 00:00:17,120 --> 00:00:30,680 Speaker 1: I mean, that's a good place to start. What's up, guys, 5 00:00:30,720 --> 00:00:33,320 Speaker 1: Welcome to the podcast, Episode one hundred and seventy four. 6 00:00:33,400 --> 00:00:35,479 Speaker 1: Thanks for being here and watching and listening wherever you're 7 00:00:35,520 --> 00:00:38,640 Speaker 1: coming from, whatever platform you're you're on right now. I 8 00:00:38,760 --> 00:00:43,720 Speaker 1: just I'm grateful to be able to speak into wherever 9 00:00:43,760 --> 00:00:48,120 Speaker 1: you are as a friend, because we all need a 10 00:00:48,159 --> 00:00:52,320 Speaker 1: friend sometimes to bounce ideas off of. And you know, 11 00:00:52,440 --> 00:00:55,560 Speaker 1: thank God for technology these days, where we could we 12 00:00:55,600 --> 00:00:58,400 Speaker 1: could sit here on a podcast something that we're familiar 13 00:00:58,480 --> 00:01:02,560 Speaker 1: with and walk through problems. Basically, you, guys, email me. 14 00:01:02,640 --> 00:01:05,480 Speaker 1: That's the whole format of this thing. You email me 15 00:01:06,040 --> 00:01:10,560 Speaker 1: Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. Any kind of question 16 00:01:10,959 --> 00:01:13,280 Speaker 1: could be about any subjects. We've seen it all one 17 00:01:13,360 --> 00:01:16,559 Speaker 1: hundred and seventy four episodes. We've seen every kind of question, 18 00:01:16,640 --> 00:01:19,240 Speaker 1: at least I think so far. So if you got 19 00:01:19,240 --> 00:01:21,679 Speaker 1: something for me, shoot it over, we'll discuss it. I 20 00:01:21,720 --> 00:01:24,759 Speaker 1: have no notes on this table, I have no preparation 21 00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:28,640 Speaker 1: or fancy beautiful quotes lined up for you. We're just 22 00:01:28,680 --> 00:01:30,480 Speaker 1: talking like we're in the cab of a truck, like 23 00:01:30,480 --> 00:01:33,520 Speaker 1: we're sitting around a campfire. That's what we do every 24 00:01:33,600 --> 00:01:36,920 Speaker 1: single Monday. So let's get to it. First question here, 25 00:01:38,240 --> 00:01:42,760 Speaker 1: subject line says, unsure how to go about this? Hey, Granger, 26 00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:45,640 Speaker 1: As a man who grew up in a household where 27 00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:48,920 Speaker 1: you don't talk about your feelings very much, how would 28 00:01:48,960 --> 00:01:51,840 Speaker 1: you do that with others on submarines? There's a stigma 29 00:01:52,160 --> 00:01:55,200 Speaker 1: about talking about your problems sometimes because you don't want 30 00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:58,720 Speaker 1: the wrong thing to be portrayed and then be disqualified. However, 31 00:02:00,200 --> 00:02:02,600 Speaker 1: I've been starting to drink more and everything seems to 32 00:02:02,640 --> 00:02:05,080 Speaker 1: pour out when I drink. I don't want to continue 33 00:02:05,120 --> 00:02:08,440 Speaker 1: drinking a lot. I also don't know how to go 34 00:02:08,520 --> 00:02:11,000 Speaker 1: about talking about things that go on in my mind. 35 00:02:11,120 --> 00:02:18,080 Speaker 1: Thank you, Austin. Are you on a submarine, bro? Surely 36 00:02:18,120 --> 00:02:23,359 Speaker 1: not currently while you're emailing. Do submarines have Wi Fi? 37 00:02:23,600 --> 00:02:27,240 Speaker 1: I'm not sure either way. Hey, I don't think you 38 00:02:27,320 --> 00:02:29,960 Speaker 1: just said that casually. Thank you for your service, Thanks 39 00:02:29,960 --> 00:02:34,520 Speaker 1: for what you do. I'm assuming Navy. What's so? What's 40 00:02:35,040 --> 00:02:38,680 Speaker 1: so interesting? I find this so interesting? On this podcast? 41 00:02:38,960 --> 00:02:41,000 Speaker 1: Each and every week I read these questions and I 42 00:02:41,040 --> 00:02:45,960 Speaker 1: see interesting things about human nature. Right, I've learned so 43 00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:49,760 Speaker 1: much through all of these episodes with you guys. Look 44 00:02:49,800 --> 00:02:52,120 Speaker 1: at this. Let me showt it. Come on it, everybody, 45 00:02:52,120 --> 00:02:55,240 Speaker 1: come on in huddle around the campfire, and let's look 46 00:02:55,240 --> 00:02:59,519 Speaker 1: at this question that Austin is sending. He saying to me, 47 00:03:01,680 --> 00:03:04,160 Speaker 1: I'm gonna I'm gonna kind of give him some words here. 48 00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:11,000 Speaker 1: I have a feeling that I'm having trouble feeling how 49 00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:15,240 Speaker 1: to express my feelings, and so I'm feeling that maybe 50 00:03:15,280 --> 00:03:18,280 Speaker 1: I'm inadequate in the feeling that I'm having with these 51 00:03:18,320 --> 00:03:22,160 Speaker 1: feelings that I'm trying to express through others because they 52 00:03:22,200 --> 00:03:25,360 Speaker 1: want me to express my feelings. That's how I feel 53 00:03:25,360 --> 00:03:30,200 Speaker 1: about the stranger. That's basically the question that you asked me. 54 00:03:31,400 --> 00:03:36,240 Speaker 1: And it's it's always interesting when people word things the 55 00:03:36,320 --> 00:03:38,960 Speaker 1: exact way that I think they should word it to 56 00:03:39,040 --> 00:03:41,680 Speaker 1: everyone else, But for some reason, you guys feel comfortable 57 00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:45,320 Speaker 1: enough to say it with me. What you just did, 58 00:03:45,400 --> 00:03:52,040 Speaker 1: Austin was great. You expressed yourself and gave me a 59 00:03:52,080 --> 00:03:55,800 Speaker 1: piece of who you are through just a few short sentences, 60 00:03:56,080 --> 00:04:00,960 Speaker 1: and you did it very well and it's it's interesting 61 00:04:01,360 --> 00:04:03,520 Speaker 1: that you could open up on an email through a 62 00:04:03,560 --> 00:04:06,960 Speaker 1: podcast and have trouble on the submarine with your buddies. 63 00:04:09,080 --> 00:04:11,280 Speaker 1: So here's the thing, let's dive into it. Let's get 64 00:04:11,280 --> 00:04:13,840 Speaker 1: practical about this. I just want to point out that 65 00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:18,760 Speaker 1: you are capable of doing it right. So, practically speaking, 66 00:04:20,720 --> 00:04:22,919 Speaker 1: alcohol is not going to be a good good with you. 67 00:04:23,440 --> 00:04:25,880 Speaker 1: This is not it's not a crutch that you need 68 00:04:25,920 --> 00:04:27,799 Speaker 1: to learn how to drink alcohol so that you could 69 00:04:28,080 --> 00:04:31,120 Speaker 1: say more of your feelings. That's a short term solution. 70 00:04:31,720 --> 00:04:34,599 Speaker 1: That's that's going to go wrong or bad in some way, 71 00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:39,520 Speaker 1: probably soon, sooner than later. It's a short term fix. 72 00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:44,000 Speaker 1: It's it's just numbing the circumstance, right, but it's not 73 00:04:44,040 --> 00:04:51,320 Speaker 1: fixing it at all. That's what alcohol does. So, practically speaking, 74 00:04:52,520 --> 00:04:57,239 Speaker 1: surrounding yourself with a core group of friends, people around 75 00:04:57,279 --> 00:05:00,440 Speaker 1: you or hey, some people say I don't have friends, Okay, 76 00:05:00,560 --> 00:05:04,360 Speaker 1: people you're around people, you're you are surrounded with it work. 77 00:05:05,080 --> 00:05:06,840 Speaker 1: You don't have to call them friends if you If 78 00:05:06,880 --> 00:05:09,560 Speaker 1: you say that you don't have any friends, surely you 79 00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:11,800 Speaker 1: live on this planet Earth around other people. So we'll 80 00:05:11,839 --> 00:05:14,480 Speaker 1: just call it that people in your group around you 81 00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:18,599 Speaker 1: your tribe, and you want to tell this tribe, you 82 00:05:18,640 --> 00:05:22,599 Speaker 1: want to say, you know what. I struggle with telling 83 00:05:22,680 --> 00:05:28,159 Speaker 1: you my feelings. So if I seem distant or off 84 00:05:28,800 --> 00:05:33,200 Speaker 1: or quiet, just no ahead of time. That's just me, man. 85 00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:36,680 Speaker 1: I'm just I got I got an issue I have. 86 00:05:36,960 --> 00:05:42,159 Speaker 1: I have the trouble expressing my feelings. There's nothing wrong 87 00:05:42,240 --> 00:05:46,440 Speaker 1: with that. There's nothing wrong with you at all. I mean, 88 00:05:46,440 --> 00:05:50,480 Speaker 1: that's like saying to anyone else I have asthma. You know. 89 00:05:50,839 --> 00:05:54,120 Speaker 1: It's like we're all running a marathon. Not me. I'm 90 00:05:54,160 --> 00:05:56,679 Speaker 1: not a good runner. But say we're saying we're running 91 00:05:56,680 --> 00:06:00,919 Speaker 1: a marathon, and before you run, you say, hey, just 92 00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:05,000 Speaker 1: let you guys know I got asthma. I don't breathe 93 00:06:05,040 --> 00:06:09,080 Speaker 1: too well, especially in humidity or in smog or whatever. 94 00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:13,680 Speaker 1: I don't have a good breathing technique. I have a 95 00:06:13,720 --> 00:06:18,880 Speaker 1: short lung capacity. Okay, And everyone would go cool, Well, 96 00:06:18,960 --> 00:06:20,960 Speaker 1: now that we know that, let's put you in this group, 97 00:06:21,040 --> 00:06:22,600 Speaker 1: or that we'll keep an eye on you, or we'll 98 00:06:22,640 --> 00:06:26,200 Speaker 1: just know that about you in some way, it's the 99 00:06:26,279 --> 00:06:30,080 Speaker 1: same thing with our feelings or being able to express 100 00:06:30,200 --> 00:06:33,960 Speaker 1: anything about ourselves, Like, hey, I just want to tell 101 00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:40,560 Speaker 1: y'all man, I'm not good at verbalizing my feelings. So 102 00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:43,560 Speaker 1: if I seem stoic to you, if I seem like 103 00:06:43,640 --> 00:06:48,840 Speaker 1: I don't care, it's not that I'm just not great 104 00:06:48,880 --> 00:06:55,520 Speaker 1: at expressing it. I mean, that's a good place to start. Look, 105 00:06:55,680 --> 00:06:57,840 Speaker 1: you want to break the ice, let's build a let's 106 00:06:57,880 --> 00:07:01,360 Speaker 1: build a totally practical scenario. Or sitting at chow right, 107 00:07:01,480 --> 00:07:05,200 Speaker 1: sitting at the table, got some people around you. You 108 00:07:05,200 --> 00:07:09,120 Speaker 1: guys are just challenging down some food, and you go, hey, 109 00:07:09,279 --> 00:07:12,600 Speaker 1: can I ask y'all a question? People look up, put 110 00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:17,720 Speaker 1: the forks down. Yeah, Alison, what's up? Do I ever 111 00:07:17,760 --> 00:07:21,640 Speaker 1: seem distant to you? Guys are quiet apathetic to a 112 00:07:21,680 --> 00:07:24,240 Speaker 1: situation in any way. Put your own words in there. 113 00:07:26,120 --> 00:07:30,080 Speaker 1: Some guy goes, I don't know, maybe, and you go, 114 00:07:31,400 --> 00:07:35,040 Speaker 1: that's because I have I don't know. I kind of 115 00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:37,200 Speaker 1: got an issue with expressing my feelings. I grew up 116 00:07:37,200 --> 00:07:40,400 Speaker 1: in a household where you don't talk much about your feelings, 117 00:07:41,560 --> 00:07:44,240 Speaker 1: and that's just how I learned to grow up. And 118 00:07:44,480 --> 00:07:47,000 Speaker 1: I just want you guys to know that if you 119 00:07:47,120 --> 00:07:49,520 Speaker 1: see me in that kind of situation, that just call 120 00:07:49,600 --> 00:07:51,840 Speaker 1: me out on it or nudge me in the gut. 121 00:07:52,760 --> 00:07:55,960 Speaker 1: That's just the way I am. It's like saying I 122 00:07:56,000 --> 00:08:00,480 Speaker 1: got asthma. People will appreciate that kind of vulnerable ability 123 00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:05,200 Speaker 1: and that kind of honesty. Alcohol is not going to 124 00:08:05,240 --> 00:08:11,360 Speaker 1: fix it for you. Next question, steptic Lyne says dating, 125 00:08:12,120 --> 00:08:15,960 Speaker 1: Hey grangeer. Recently, my best friends fiance started writing and 126 00:08:16,040 --> 00:08:19,560 Speaker 1: working together with a girl who I have started to 127 00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:23,600 Speaker 1: become attracted to. Let me read that for myself. Recently, 128 00:08:23,680 --> 00:08:28,000 Speaker 1: my best friends fiance started writing and working together with 129 00:08:28,080 --> 00:08:31,280 Speaker 1: a girl who I have started to become attracted to. 130 00:08:31,560 --> 00:08:33,200 Speaker 1: We all hang out and we go out and we eat, 131 00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:36,240 Speaker 1: but I can't really decide if she feels the same. 132 00:08:37,080 --> 00:08:39,480 Speaker 1: We all get along and have a good time together, 133 00:08:40,400 --> 00:08:43,920 Speaker 1: and her and I talk pretty regularly. How do I 134 00:08:43,960 --> 00:08:46,280 Speaker 1: go about or figure out if she feels the same way? 135 00:08:46,480 --> 00:08:48,560 Speaker 1: Love your pod and your music? Thanks brother, all right, 136 00:08:49,040 --> 00:08:51,760 Speaker 1: My question comes from logan. Appreciate you brother, Thanks for 137 00:08:51,800 --> 00:08:56,360 Speaker 1: the email and your situation is man, I probably get 138 00:08:56,400 --> 00:08:59,000 Speaker 1: this kind of question. How do I tell a girl 139 00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:01,320 Speaker 1: that I like her or how do I know that 140 00:09:01,400 --> 00:09:05,120 Speaker 1: she likes me? Back? That kind of question I get 141 00:09:05,200 --> 00:09:09,120 Speaker 1: so much, y'all. I get my inbox just gets flooded 142 00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:12,520 Speaker 1: with I like a girl. I don't know how to 143 00:09:12,559 --> 00:09:15,400 Speaker 1: tell her that I like her? How do I know 144 00:09:15,720 --> 00:09:19,680 Speaker 1: that she likes me back? Like some way? That question 145 00:09:19,800 --> 00:09:25,640 Speaker 1: is asked every single day to this podcast. So let 146 00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:28,080 Speaker 1: me try to say this universally for a lot of 147 00:09:28,080 --> 00:09:37,000 Speaker 1: people listening. Right, I say many times on this podcast, 148 00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:40,760 Speaker 1: I'm not always right, and every personality is different. So 149 00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:42,440 Speaker 1: I'm going to say this in a way that I 150 00:09:42,559 --> 00:09:47,959 Speaker 1: would need to do it for myself. I say need 151 00:09:49,120 --> 00:09:51,040 Speaker 1: because I'm hesitant to say this is the way I 152 00:09:51,040 --> 00:09:53,360 Speaker 1: would do it, because it's hard to do it. This 153 00:09:53,440 --> 00:09:57,480 Speaker 1: is hard, y'all. It's not easy like this. This is 154 00:09:57,920 --> 00:10:02,600 Speaker 1: a difficult thing because it's it's vulnerable, and it's awkward, 155 00:10:03,400 --> 00:10:08,160 Speaker 1: and it's humiliating and it's nerve wracking, and it is is. 156 00:10:08,280 --> 00:10:12,520 Speaker 1: It's part of dating, and it's it's part of humanity. Right, 157 00:10:13,400 --> 00:10:16,720 Speaker 1: So this is what I would recommend for someone like me, 158 00:10:16,920 --> 00:10:21,360 Speaker 1: and the way my brain works, I need to put 159 00:10:21,679 --> 00:10:24,600 Speaker 1: an ultimatum in my own brain. I need to put 160 00:10:24,679 --> 00:10:26,679 Speaker 1: I need to get it out there so that I 161 00:10:26,720 --> 00:10:30,040 Speaker 1: don't talk myself out of it. Here's what I mean 162 00:10:31,480 --> 00:10:35,000 Speaker 1: if I say, because okay, you know that you need 163 00:10:35,040 --> 00:10:36,720 Speaker 1: to talk to her and you need to you need 164 00:10:36,760 --> 00:10:40,480 Speaker 1: to say something along the lines of I like you, 165 00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:43,920 Speaker 1: but I want to bring it up to see if 166 00:10:43,920 --> 00:10:47,640 Speaker 1: you like me too, because then maybe we can go 167 00:10:47,679 --> 00:10:50,400 Speaker 1: get some coffee or something and take this to the 168 00:10:50,440 --> 00:10:52,480 Speaker 1: next level. And I wanted to bring it up, So 169 00:10:52,520 --> 00:10:56,160 Speaker 1: you want to say that, right. The hardest part of 170 00:10:56,160 --> 00:10:59,480 Speaker 1: that is getting it started. So with my brain, if 171 00:10:59,480 --> 00:11:03,760 Speaker 1: I say, next time I see her, I'm gonna tell 172 00:11:03,800 --> 00:11:08,040 Speaker 1: her this, then I would probably begin to talk myself 173 00:11:08,120 --> 00:11:11,120 Speaker 1: out of it, depending on the scenario. So I would 174 00:11:11,320 --> 00:11:13,800 Speaker 1: say I say that, and then I see her and 175 00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:16,280 Speaker 1: she's with her friend, and I'm like, ah, she's with 176 00:11:16,520 --> 00:11:19,439 Speaker 1: her friend, So I can't do it now because she's 177 00:11:19,480 --> 00:11:21,440 Speaker 1: with her friend. So maybe I'll wait till a better time. 178 00:11:21,480 --> 00:11:24,120 Speaker 1: And then a better time comes, and then she ends up. 179 00:11:24,400 --> 00:11:27,160 Speaker 1: Another person comes and then she's distracted, and then she 180 00:11:27,200 --> 00:11:29,280 Speaker 1: gets a call from her mom and she might have 181 00:11:29,320 --> 00:11:31,560 Speaker 1: to go back home, and then I will talk myself 182 00:11:31,600 --> 00:11:33,679 Speaker 1: out of it again and say it's not a good 183 00:11:33,679 --> 00:11:35,840 Speaker 1: time because maybe maybe later would be a better time, 184 00:11:36,080 --> 00:11:38,440 Speaker 1: and then she has to go home early, and then 185 00:11:38,640 --> 00:11:41,320 Speaker 1: I say, well, maybe tomorrow is a good time, and 186 00:11:41,360 --> 00:11:44,800 Speaker 1: then I say, are you coming tomorrow? And she says, 187 00:11:44,840 --> 00:11:46,800 Speaker 1: I'm actually, I've got to work tomorrow, so I'm not 188 00:11:46,800 --> 00:11:49,160 Speaker 1: coming out tomorrow. And then I think, dang it, maybe 189 00:11:49,360 --> 00:11:51,840 Speaker 1: the Friday is a better So I will continually talk 190 00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:55,520 Speaker 1: myself out of it because I'm so nervous. That's me. 191 00:11:56,840 --> 00:11:59,880 Speaker 1: How do I fix that? Maybe you're like this too, Logan, 192 00:12:00,640 --> 00:12:05,240 Speaker 1: I have to get it out immediately and make her 193 00:12:05,480 --> 00:12:09,840 Speaker 1: know that I need to say something like this, what's 194 00:12:09,840 --> 00:12:14,719 Speaker 1: her name? You don't have her name? Okay, let's say 195 00:12:14,720 --> 00:12:17,720 Speaker 1: her name is Haley, just for the sake of having 196 00:12:17,720 --> 00:12:25,800 Speaker 1: a name. You say Haley. Later on this afternoon, after 197 00:12:25,840 --> 00:12:30,200 Speaker 1: we finish here, like three o'clock, is it cool if 198 00:12:30,240 --> 00:12:32,640 Speaker 1: we just take a walk. There's something I need to 199 00:12:32,720 --> 00:12:39,000 Speaker 1: run by you? Oh right, okay, So what you did? 200 00:12:39,559 --> 00:12:40,880 Speaker 1: You got it out in the open that you need 201 00:12:40,920 --> 00:12:43,160 Speaker 1: to talk. You got it out in the open that 202 00:12:43,200 --> 00:12:46,280 Speaker 1: you need to single her out and say something independent 203 00:12:46,320 --> 00:12:49,480 Speaker 1: of everyone else in the group. And number three, you 204 00:12:49,520 --> 00:12:53,040 Speaker 1: have set an ultimatum for yourself. You've put it out there, 205 00:12:53,480 --> 00:12:56,160 Speaker 1: something that now you cannot back out of because now 206 00:12:56,200 --> 00:13:03,959 Speaker 1: she's curious. She's like, Logan, yeah, sure, what what's it about? 207 00:13:04,160 --> 00:13:06,240 Speaker 1: Anything bad? And you're like no, no, no no, it's just 208 00:13:06,240 --> 00:13:08,120 Speaker 1: something I need to something I need to talk about 209 00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:13,200 Speaker 1: with you. She will not forget that you said that, right, 210 00:13:13,600 --> 00:13:16,760 Speaker 1: She's not gonna just venture off into whatever she has 211 00:13:16,800 --> 00:13:21,640 Speaker 1: to do that day. She's gonna know Logan said something 212 00:13:21,720 --> 00:13:23,520 Speaker 1: kind of strange. You wanted to take a walk with 213 00:13:23,600 --> 00:13:27,120 Speaker 1: me and say something to me. She will hold you 214 00:13:27,160 --> 00:13:28,959 Speaker 1: to it and she'll say, hey, what what was that 215 00:13:29,080 --> 00:13:31,000 Speaker 1: thing that you were gonna talk to me about? Do 216 00:13:31,040 --> 00:13:33,240 Speaker 1: you want to you want to do the walk? And 217 00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:36,559 Speaker 1: you go yeah, So now she's holding you to it, right, 218 00:13:36,559 --> 00:13:39,960 Speaker 1: So then she goes, yeah, you say, let's let's let's 219 00:13:39,960 --> 00:13:42,760 Speaker 1: take a walk just down there, down walk a couple 220 00:13:42,760 --> 00:13:45,840 Speaker 1: of blocks down the road. I like to walk because 221 00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:48,000 Speaker 1: because you don't have to stand there and just go 222 00:13:48,080 --> 00:13:51,440 Speaker 1: eye to eye contact and be feel super awkward just 223 00:13:51,520 --> 00:13:55,640 Speaker 1: kind of walking. And then you just say, Haley, I am. 224 00:13:57,559 --> 00:14:01,560 Speaker 1: I'm having trouble finding the words because it's awkward, and 225 00:14:01,600 --> 00:14:05,199 Speaker 1: I don't want to I don't want to make you uncomfortable. 226 00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:09,920 Speaker 1: But I like you in a way more than friends. 227 00:14:11,559 --> 00:14:14,679 Speaker 1: And I don't know any other way to say it 228 00:14:14,720 --> 00:14:16,680 Speaker 1: besides just to tell you straight up, I like you 229 00:14:16,720 --> 00:14:17,960 Speaker 1: and I would like to take you out for a 230 00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:20,640 Speaker 1: cup of coffee if if by chance you feel the 231 00:14:20,640 --> 00:14:26,040 Speaker 1: same way about me, there it is. And then all 232 00:14:26,040 --> 00:14:28,080 Speaker 1: of a sudden, all the pressure is completely off of you. 233 00:14:28,080 --> 00:14:31,000 Speaker 1: You've put it on her. Whatever she says next is 234 00:14:31,080 --> 00:14:34,160 Speaker 1: all on her. You have given her the ball. It's 235 00:14:34,200 --> 00:14:36,960 Speaker 1: in her court. You don't have to do anything else now. 236 00:14:37,640 --> 00:14:40,600 Speaker 1: So now the pressure's on her to say, oh, sweetheart, 237 00:14:40,640 --> 00:14:44,640 Speaker 1: I'm I just don't, I don't, I'm sorry, I am 238 00:14:44,720 --> 00:14:46,840 Speaker 1: dating somebody, or I don't feel that way. And then 239 00:14:46,880 --> 00:14:50,920 Speaker 1: you're like, okay, absolutely, But guess what, Logan, Now you 240 00:14:51,040 --> 00:14:53,280 Speaker 1: just feel good because now it's out there. There's no 241 00:14:53,320 --> 00:14:56,680 Speaker 1: more wondering. It's out there. Like I said, this is 242 00:14:56,720 --> 00:15:00,400 Speaker 1: the most common question, probably besides I lost my faith God, 243 00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:02,680 Speaker 1: how do I get it back? Those are the that's 244 00:15:02,720 --> 00:15:05,359 Speaker 1: the most common thing I get asked on this podcast. 245 00:15:06,360 --> 00:15:09,040 Speaker 1: And the answer to me, in my opinion, for my 246 00:15:09,120 --> 00:15:12,240 Speaker 1: personality is always, let's just get it out. Let's get 247 00:15:12,280 --> 00:15:15,480 Speaker 1: it out. Let's fumble it, let's mumble it, let's stutter it, 248 00:15:15,800 --> 00:15:19,400 Speaker 1: let's look down, let's kick the grass, let's let's scratch 249 00:15:19,400 --> 00:15:22,720 Speaker 1: your heads, let's be awkward, but just get it out. 250 00:15:23,200 --> 00:15:27,160 Speaker 1: It doesn't have to be pretty or perfect or or 251 00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:31,280 Speaker 1: perfectly written out like some beautiful poem. Or you don't 252 00:15:31,320 --> 00:15:34,320 Speaker 1: have to be wearing the right cologne or the right clothes, 253 00:15:34,440 --> 00:15:36,320 Speaker 1: or the sun doesn't have to be setting in the 254 00:15:36,360 --> 00:15:40,360 Speaker 1: sky in the perfect spot. You just you make it 255 00:15:40,520 --> 00:15:44,800 Speaker 1: just like real love is, and it's vulnerable and real 256 00:15:45,280 --> 00:15:52,359 Speaker 1: and salty and sweet and and just completely messy. Sometimes 257 00:15:55,680 --> 00:15:59,400 Speaker 1: that's how I would do it. That's how would answer 258 00:15:59,440 --> 00:16:02,280 Speaker 1: almost every time that question comes up, That's how I 259 00:16:02,280 --> 00:16:10,840 Speaker 1: would answer it. Let's say one more here subject Cline says, 260 00:16:10,840 --> 00:16:14,000 Speaker 1: help getting started? Hey Granger Love the podcast. Prefer to 261 00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:16,560 Speaker 1: stay anonymous, but I will say that I am sixteen 262 00:16:16,640 --> 00:16:20,040 Speaker 1: years old and I live in Northern Canada. I've been 263 00:16:20,040 --> 00:16:23,280 Speaker 1: having feelings for a girl in my church, and I 264 00:16:23,360 --> 00:16:25,600 Speaker 1: want to move forward with this, but I'm not sure 265 00:16:25,640 --> 00:16:27,680 Speaker 1: how to see I told you what did I tell 266 00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:30,480 Speaker 1: y'all about these questions? I'm not sure how to go 267 00:16:30,560 --> 00:16:33,880 Speaker 1: about this. Our families have been friends for many years. 268 00:16:35,480 --> 00:16:40,320 Speaker 1: Here's the run. Here's where I run a foul. I 269 00:16:40,320 --> 00:16:43,200 Speaker 1: would not be willing to ask her out without her 270 00:16:43,240 --> 00:16:46,600 Speaker 1: father's permission. I am not sure if she feels the 271 00:16:46,640 --> 00:16:49,800 Speaker 1: same way about me. See there's that question again. My 272 00:16:49,960 --> 00:16:52,880 Speaker 1: question to you is should I ask her if she 273 00:16:52,960 --> 00:16:56,080 Speaker 1: feels the same way and then ask her father, or 274 00:16:56,160 --> 00:16:58,800 Speaker 1: should I ask her father first and then find out 275 00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:01,720 Speaker 1: by asking her on a date. Hope this gives you 276 00:17:01,840 --> 00:17:05,960 Speaker 1: enough info. Yes, Anonymous, bro, I got it. I got 277 00:17:05,960 --> 00:17:09,000 Speaker 1: your I love this question, and it's just like the 278 00:17:09,080 --> 00:17:12,760 Speaker 1: last one, but it has a twist. The father's involved. 279 00:17:13,119 --> 00:17:16,120 Speaker 1: I am the father of a eleven year old girl, 280 00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:20,959 Speaker 1: and I could appreciate a young man respecting the father 281 00:17:21,240 --> 00:17:24,840 Speaker 1: enough when the girl still lives with him, or I 282 00:17:24,880 --> 00:17:28,960 Speaker 1: think even after that. I think it's very important that 283 00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:34,959 Speaker 1: you are considering this, and I would not feel comfortable 284 00:17:35,119 --> 00:17:39,080 Speaker 1: with my daughter dating or going out with another kid 285 00:17:39,440 --> 00:17:45,679 Speaker 1: that didn't talk to me. I know that sounds maybe psychotic, 286 00:17:46,240 --> 00:17:51,080 Speaker 1: but I think it's appropriate. So I love Anonymous. I 287 00:17:51,080 --> 00:17:54,320 Speaker 1: love that you're asking this question. Your question is just 288 00:17:54,320 --> 00:17:57,560 Speaker 1: to recap for everyone. You want to ask the dad's 289 00:17:57,560 --> 00:17:59,919 Speaker 1: permission to date the girl, but you don't know what 290 00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:02,320 Speaker 1: a girl likes you yet, so you're wondering if you 291 00:18:02,560 --> 00:18:04,560 Speaker 1: should just get some information out of her and then 292 00:18:04,600 --> 00:18:07,920 Speaker 1: go back to the dad or go straight to the 293 00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:10,199 Speaker 1: dad at the beginning. My answer to you is go 294 00:18:10,320 --> 00:18:16,239 Speaker 1: straight to the dad at the beginning, so that you 295 00:18:16,280 --> 00:18:19,399 Speaker 1: could say this, so that you can go to the 296 00:18:19,400 --> 00:18:25,600 Speaker 1: father and say, Sir, I would like permission to ask 297 00:18:25,640 --> 00:18:30,600 Speaker 1: your daughter out on a date. He says, have you 298 00:18:30,600 --> 00:18:35,639 Speaker 1: talked to her about this? You say, no, Sir, I 299 00:18:35,680 --> 00:18:38,000 Speaker 1: wanted to come to you first before I mention anything 300 00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:42,480 Speaker 1: to her. WHOA, that's good. That's good from a dad, 301 00:18:42,760 --> 00:18:46,160 Speaker 1: that's good. The alternative to that is have you talked 302 00:18:46,160 --> 00:18:49,280 Speaker 1: to her about this? And you say, yeah, yeah, she 303 00:18:49,480 --> 00:18:51,320 Speaker 1: likes me. I like her. We've been talking about it. 304 00:18:53,359 --> 00:18:57,200 Speaker 1: See the difference. There's a respectful difference in saying no, sir, 305 00:18:57,480 --> 00:19:01,680 Speaker 1: I came to you first. In fact, in fact, Sir, 306 00:19:01,760 --> 00:19:04,520 Speaker 1: I'm almost embarrassed to say, because I haven't mentioned it 307 00:19:04,520 --> 00:19:06,080 Speaker 1: to her. I don't even know if she likes me back. 308 00:19:06,119 --> 00:19:08,440 Speaker 1: But I wanted to start with you, because Sir, I 309 00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:12,960 Speaker 1: feel like that's the respectful thing to do. I like that. 310 00:19:13,720 --> 00:19:21,399 Speaker 1: Take a break, be right back, helly, podcast listeners, I 311 00:19:21,400 --> 00:19:25,240 Speaker 1: appreciate y'all so much for supporting me and this very 312 00:19:25,320 --> 00:19:28,600 Speaker 1: different piece of media for me. Podcasting is long form 313 00:19:28,640 --> 00:19:31,560 Speaker 1: and unplanned, and it's just a different way to consume 314 00:19:31,640 --> 00:19:34,040 Speaker 1: media with me. And I just appreciate that you guys 315 00:19:34,359 --> 00:19:37,640 Speaker 1: can last with me this long, for this many episodes 316 00:19:37,720 --> 00:19:40,400 Speaker 1: on so many different platforms. If you want to get 317 00:19:40,400 --> 00:19:43,480 Speaker 1: a hold of me or have a video made by me, 318 00:19:43,680 --> 00:19:47,800 Speaker 1: you could do that at cameo dot com slash Granger Smith. 319 00:19:48,240 --> 00:19:49,720 Speaker 1: Now this is really cool. You could do it as 320 00:19:49,760 --> 00:19:53,600 Speaker 1: a congratulations or a happy anniversary, or a happy Valentine's Day, 321 00:19:53,640 --> 00:19:56,920 Speaker 1: or a happy birthday, even a little bit of motivation 322 00:19:57,040 --> 00:19:59,720 Speaker 1: for yourself. You could always do this at cameo dot 323 00:19:59,720 --> 00:20:03,720 Speaker 1: com Granger Smith, and I will make you a personalized 324 00:20:03,840 --> 00:20:06,720 Speaker 1: video message right here on my phone saying whatever you 325 00:20:06,840 --> 00:20:09,320 Speaker 1: need me to say to whoever you need me to 326 00:20:09,359 --> 00:20:12,520 Speaker 1: say it to. You could also download the app Cameo 327 00:20:13,080 --> 00:20:16,080 Speaker 1: c am e o and then search for me Granger Smith. 328 00:20:16,320 --> 00:20:19,200 Speaker 1: Super easy and a great way for us to keep 329 00:20:19,200 --> 00:20:22,080 Speaker 1: in touch. Also, are you looking for new ee ye gear, 330 00:20:22,280 --> 00:20:24,879 Speaker 1: Well you could find that at ye ye dot com. 331 00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:27,320 Speaker 1: So many new things that we have on that website 332 00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:29,960 Speaker 1: right now for sale. This is our e commerce company. 333 00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:34,720 Speaker 1: It's everything ye Ye related, whether that's apparel or beef jerky. 334 00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:37,080 Speaker 1: Go check it out at eey dot com. Back to 335 00:20:37,160 --> 00:20:44,359 Speaker 1: the podcast, all right, Back to these questions. By the way, 336 00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:46,159 Speaker 1: I don't have any notes in front of me. I 337 00:20:46,200 --> 00:20:49,520 Speaker 1: don't have any reading material or fancy beautiful quotes. I'm 338 00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:52,360 Speaker 1: just going off what you guys. Email me to Grangersmith 339 00:20:52,440 --> 00:20:54,680 Speaker 1: podcast at gmail dot com. We're going to walk through 340 00:20:54,720 --> 00:20:57,960 Speaker 1: it just like two friends. Ask me anything you want, 341 00:20:58,000 --> 00:21:01,120 Speaker 1: I only say please, don't send us a email twice. 342 00:21:01,440 --> 00:21:03,560 Speaker 1: I'm trying not to make it too long, maybe not 343 00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:06,280 Speaker 1: longer than a phone link for the sake of reading 344 00:21:06,320 --> 00:21:10,080 Speaker 1: on the podcast, and I'm not a great reader. Next question, 345 00:21:10,160 --> 00:21:14,800 Speaker 1: subject line says anonymous, Hey Granger, I'm nineteen. I have 346 00:21:14,840 --> 00:21:19,240 Speaker 1: a problem. I have an addiction to masturbation, and it's 347 00:21:19,240 --> 00:21:22,080 Speaker 1: been eating away my life for the last four to 348 00:21:22,160 --> 00:21:26,159 Speaker 1: five years. I keep trying to pray and read my Bible, 349 00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:28,960 Speaker 1: but I feel like the devil keeps attacking me, and 350 00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:31,240 Speaker 1: I just don't know what to do anymore. I feel 351 00:21:31,280 --> 00:21:34,120 Speaker 1: like giving up. I keep talking to my friend about 352 00:21:34,119 --> 00:21:37,120 Speaker 1: it and he encourages me, but I feel like it's 353 00:21:37,160 --> 00:21:39,760 Speaker 1: just drawing me further and further away from God. I 354 00:21:39,760 --> 00:21:41,520 Speaker 1: don't know what to do anymore. I feel like I 355 00:21:41,640 --> 00:21:44,920 Speaker 1: just lack self discipline, love your work and all that 356 00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:50,600 Speaker 1: you do, all right, anonymous, let me say, let me say, 357 00:21:50,680 --> 00:21:54,359 Speaker 1: let me start this whole thing with Listen, brother, listen, 358 00:21:56,400 --> 00:22:02,399 Speaker 1: you are not alone in this problem. I get this 359 00:22:02,640 --> 00:22:09,000 Speaker 1: email all the time, worded in different ways, but I 360 00:22:09,080 --> 00:22:16,560 Speaker 1: get it a lot, especially from young men around your age. 361 00:22:17,200 --> 00:22:23,120 Speaker 1: This is the time when pornography has is is rampant, 362 00:22:24,640 --> 00:22:30,720 Speaker 1: rampant right through and I and i'm I'm I'm guaranteeing 363 00:22:30,800 --> 00:22:32,919 Speaker 1: that this is gonna be your problem. You didn't say it, 364 00:22:32,920 --> 00:22:37,399 Speaker 1: but pornography is your problem, and it is rampant in 365 00:22:37,480 --> 00:22:41,720 Speaker 1: society because it's so easy, it's on everyone's cell phone. 366 00:22:42,400 --> 00:22:45,040 Speaker 1: So I want to start just by saying, you're not alone. Okay, 367 00:22:45,240 --> 00:22:47,840 Speaker 1: you're not isolated. You're not You're not dealing with this 368 00:22:47,920 --> 00:22:52,800 Speaker 1: all by yourself. This isn't a problem that's unique to you. Okay, 369 00:22:53,680 --> 00:22:59,760 Speaker 1: take a breath. Here's the thing I'm not. I'm not 370 00:22:59,760 --> 00:23:02,359 Speaker 1: gonna to call you out and say that, yes, you 371 00:23:02,520 --> 00:23:06,800 Speaker 1: lack self discipline. I'm not gonna say that because you 372 00:23:06,840 --> 00:23:09,800 Speaker 1: already know what it's going to take. It's going to 373 00:23:09,880 --> 00:23:16,080 Speaker 1: take willpower, it's gonna take surrender, it's gonna take building 374 00:23:16,160 --> 00:23:19,840 Speaker 1: up your self discipline. But how do you do that practically, 375 00:23:19,880 --> 00:23:22,480 Speaker 1: how do you do it? I always like to say 376 00:23:22,520 --> 00:23:28,320 Speaker 1: that if someone wants something bad enough, you could tell 377 00:23:28,680 --> 00:23:33,240 Speaker 1: the degree by which that person wants something by the 378 00:23:33,240 --> 00:23:40,400 Speaker 1: fruits of the current results of what they're doing. For instance, 379 00:23:40,520 --> 00:23:44,600 Speaker 1: if someone says, I really want to be a welder. 380 00:23:46,280 --> 00:23:48,119 Speaker 1: That's what I want to do. That my dream and 381 00:23:48,240 --> 00:23:51,200 Speaker 1: life is to be a professional welder. And you don't 382 00:23:51,200 --> 00:23:54,720 Speaker 1: even own a welding machine. You don't even you don't 383 00:23:54,720 --> 00:23:57,440 Speaker 1: even have any skills, You've never watched a YouTube video 384 00:23:57,480 --> 00:24:02,160 Speaker 1: on how to weld. You don't want to be a welder, then, right, 385 00:24:02,840 --> 00:24:06,560 Speaker 1: you don't really, you're just saying it. You could tell 386 00:24:06,960 --> 00:24:09,159 Speaker 1: if you really want to be a welder by the result, 387 00:24:09,320 --> 00:24:12,400 Speaker 1: the current result of what you're doing to achieve that goal. 388 00:24:12,920 --> 00:24:15,600 Speaker 1: So I say to you, anonymous, what are you currently 389 00:24:15,640 --> 00:24:20,920 Speaker 1: doing to achieve this goal that you say has been 390 00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:27,240 Speaker 1: eating away your life for four to five years? Okay, 391 00:24:27,720 --> 00:24:31,000 Speaker 1: start with let's start with that. That's that's to try 392 00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:33,040 Speaker 1: to help motivate you. I'm trying to just give you 393 00:24:33,080 --> 00:24:35,359 Speaker 1: a little push. You're on the swing. I'm just gonna 394 00:24:35,400 --> 00:24:38,600 Speaker 1: get you get your momentum going here. Okay, Now, let 395 00:24:38,600 --> 00:24:42,160 Speaker 1: me give you some practical stuff. Once again, you said 396 00:24:42,160 --> 00:24:44,399 Speaker 1: I have an addiction to masturbation. That's what you wrote. 397 00:24:44,480 --> 00:24:50,040 Speaker 1: But I'm assuming this is stemming from pornography. I'm just 398 00:24:50,080 --> 00:24:56,280 Speaker 1: gonna assume that I've said this before. Covenant eyes dot com, 399 00:24:56,320 --> 00:25:02,920 Speaker 1: Covenant eyes dot com. I heard about this from pastor Chad, 400 00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:05,359 Speaker 1: former guest on this podcast. He brought it up on 401 00:25:05,400 --> 00:25:08,280 Speaker 1: the podcast in real time as we were talking about this, 402 00:25:08,320 --> 00:25:09,480 Speaker 1: and I looked at him and I was like, what 403 00:25:09,560 --> 00:25:11,960 Speaker 1: is that. Well, it's a website you go to, you 404 00:25:12,400 --> 00:25:16,040 Speaker 1: enter your information that I'm just speaking. I'm just freelancing here. 405 00:25:16,440 --> 00:25:19,160 Speaker 1: You enter your information, you put in your IP address 406 00:25:19,280 --> 00:25:26,160 Speaker 1: of your device. It then starts monitoring your whatever you're surfing. 407 00:25:27,440 --> 00:25:31,600 Speaker 1: If you land on a site that is vulnerable, some 408 00:25:31,720 --> 00:25:35,239 Speaker 1: kind of nudity site, whatever, if you go there, it 409 00:25:35,320 --> 00:25:40,560 Speaker 1: will send a notification to whoever your accountability person is. 410 00:25:41,680 --> 00:25:43,680 Speaker 1: So go back to my first thing. You could tell 411 00:25:43,920 --> 00:25:46,679 Speaker 1: how bad you want something by the fruits of what 412 00:25:46,680 --> 00:25:49,280 Speaker 1: you're doing to get there. If you want this bad enough, 413 00:25:49,560 --> 00:25:55,360 Speaker 1: you will put your accountability person as your mother, or 414 00:25:55,400 --> 00:26:00,600 Speaker 1: your sister, or your grandmother if you're married, your mother 415 00:26:00,680 --> 00:26:05,800 Speaker 1: in law, somebody super vulnerable, somebody just makes you cringe. 416 00:26:05,840 --> 00:26:09,720 Speaker 1: If they knew your deepest, darkest secret, If that person 417 00:26:09,960 --> 00:26:12,919 Speaker 1: knew what you did when the lights were off in 418 00:26:12,960 --> 00:26:17,480 Speaker 1: the middle of the night, you would just die. That person, 419 00:26:17,520 --> 00:26:21,159 Speaker 1: whoever that is, that becomes your accountability person on Covenant 420 00:26:21,200 --> 00:26:23,400 Speaker 1: Eyes dot com. You enter them in there and you 421 00:26:23,560 --> 00:26:28,119 Speaker 1: enter your IP address, and then that's a way to 422 00:26:28,160 --> 00:26:30,880 Speaker 1: get your self disciplined up a notch. Right. You say, 423 00:26:30,920 --> 00:26:35,399 Speaker 1: I feel like I lack self discipline. You know what 424 00:26:35,440 --> 00:26:37,200 Speaker 1: you would say in the Marine Corps. If someone was 425 00:26:37,240 --> 00:26:39,399 Speaker 1: in the Marine Corps, they were in boot camp and 426 00:26:39,440 --> 00:26:42,879 Speaker 1: they would say I lack self discipline, I would say, 427 00:26:43,040 --> 00:26:47,920 Speaker 1: don't worry. The drill sergeant will help you. The drill 428 00:26:47,960 --> 00:26:51,399 Speaker 1: sergeant is happy to help you work on that self 429 00:26:51,440 --> 00:26:55,000 Speaker 1: discipline problem. So then I bring in for your situation 430 00:26:55,560 --> 00:26:59,960 Speaker 1: inter Covenant Eyes, your new drill sergeant to help you 431 00:27:00,240 --> 00:27:04,560 Speaker 1: along with your self discipline problem. We all need help. 432 00:27:05,320 --> 00:27:08,040 Speaker 1: We all need somebody to push us. We all need, 433 00:27:08,160 --> 00:27:11,760 Speaker 1: in some ways or shape or form, a drill sergeant. 434 00:27:12,320 --> 00:27:15,120 Speaker 1: This world is too dark and cold to just try 435 00:27:15,160 --> 00:27:19,399 Speaker 1: to navigate it all by ourselves. We are creatures, made 436 00:27:19,440 --> 00:27:23,479 Speaker 1: for a tribe, made for a community, made for people 437 00:27:23,520 --> 00:27:26,879 Speaker 1: to be around us. It says in Proverbs that iron 438 00:27:27,160 --> 00:27:31,640 Speaker 1: chopin's iron. We need iron to sharpen iron. We need 439 00:27:31,680 --> 00:27:35,920 Speaker 1: people around us, like us, like minded, to lift us up, 440 00:27:36,160 --> 00:27:43,800 Speaker 1: to keep us accountable. Try this. There is no need 441 00:27:44,200 --> 00:27:47,480 Speaker 1: for you to be stuck any longer in this four 442 00:27:47,520 --> 00:27:51,800 Speaker 1: to five year rut that you're in that's degrading your life. 443 00:27:52,240 --> 00:28:01,240 Speaker 1: Enough is enough, Now's the time. Next question, says Subjecline. 444 00:28:01,280 --> 00:28:07,000 Speaker 1: Thanks for the message, Granger. Love your podcast, but disappointed 445 00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:11,959 Speaker 1: with your sponsorcozysheets dot com. I tried to order from 446 00:28:12,000 --> 00:28:14,320 Speaker 1: the site provided, but I could not move on without 447 00:28:14,440 --> 00:28:17,560 Speaker 1: entering my email and phone number. Long story short, I 448 00:28:17,560 --> 00:28:20,760 Speaker 1: stopped the order when asking for my number. I don't 449 00:28:20,800 --> 00:28:24,040 Speaker 1: need any more emails and text messages about sales. Thought 450 00:28:24,040 --> 00:28:27,440 Speaker 1: you should know yours in christ Mark, Hey Mark, if 451 00:28:27,440 --> 00:28:31,360 Speaker 1: you're listening, I hope you're listening. I agree with you. 452 00:28:31,840 --> 00:28:37,440 Speaker 1: I agree with you. Man. Here's the deal, though, is 453 00:28:38,240 --> 00:28:40,960 Speaker 1: anybody watching me? Is anybody watching me right now? Is 454 00:28:40,960 --> 00:28:44,880 Speaker 1: about to say something? About to say something? I put 455 00:28:44,880 --> 00:28:47,520 Speaker 1: in a brother. I put in a fake number every time. 456 00:28:48,480 --> 00:28:50,440 Speaker 1: I don't ever put in my real cell phone number 457 00:28:50,440 --> 00:28:53,840 Speaker 1: when I'm buying stuff. In fact, when I go to 458 00:28:53,920 --> 00:28:57,360 Speaker 1: like best Buy or something and they say phone number, please, 459 00:28:57,760 --> 00:29:01,640 Speaker 1: I tell them the number that's fake and my information 460 00:29:02,160 --> 00:29:05,719 Speaker 1: is in the database under a fake number. That's how 461 00:29:05,760 --> 00:29:08,280 Speaker 1: they keep track of me. They pull and they go, oh, 462 00:29:08,360 --> 00:29:10,520 Speaker 1: mister Smith. I'm like, yep, that's me under that fake 463 00:29:10,600 --> 00:29:13,240 Speaker 1: number that I've been giving you guys for years, and 464 00:29:13,400 --> 00:29:16,320 Speaker 1: just so happened that I have my fake number memorized. 465 00:29:16,760 --> 00:29:20,320 Speaker 1: It's not a big deal to me, And don't I 466 00:29:20,760 --> 00:29:23,200 Speaker 1: don't think this is a big deal either. So give 467 00:29:23,240 --> 00:29:25,720 Speaker 1: them a fake number if I go. If I'm traveling 468 00:29:26,120 --> 00:29:28,760 Speaker 1: and I'm going to a gym and I have to 469 00:29:28,760 --> 00:29:32,880 Speaker 1: fill out you know that who I am and my email. 470 00:29:33,440 --> 00:29:36,959 Speaker 1: I don't give them a real email. You don't have 471 00:29:37,000 --> 00:29:40,760 Speaker 1: to do that. Don't do it. No big deal. Let's 472 00:29:40,800 --> 00:29:48,440 Speaker 1: move on next question. Subject line here says dealing with 473 00:29:48,560 --> 00:29:51,800 Speaker 1: high and low in life at the same time. Hey 474 00:29:51,840 --> 00:29:55,280 Speaker 1: grena drum Jordan from Kentucky and early November, my youngest 475 00:29:55,320 --> 00:29:58,480 Speaker 1: son was born. In less than twenty four hours later, 476 00:29:58,520 --> 00:30:01,720 Speaker 1: I lost my father to a surprise heart attack. I 477 00:30:01,760 --> 00:30:04,000 Speaker 1: have been struggling to enjoy the birth of my new 478 00:30:04,040 --> 00:30:05,880 Speaker 1: son and mourn the loss of my father. All the 479 00:30:05,880 --> 00:30:10,000 Speaker 1: while staying strong for my family and my wife as 480 00:30:10,120 --> 00:30:14,040 Speaker 1: my children's pastor, and work a full time job. I'm 481 00:30:14,080 --> 00:30:16,680 Speaker 1: comforted that I will be able to see my father 482 00:30:16,720 --> 00:30:19,640 Speaker 1: again in glory, but how are we supposed to balance 483 00:30:19,680 --> 00:30:24,400 Speaker 1: everything going on in a healthy biblical way. Thanks for 484 00:30:24,440 --> 00:30:26,760 Speaker 1: all your help. I'm glad to know there's a Christian 485 00:30:26,760 --> 00:30:30,160 Speaker 1: man giving advice and bringing glory to God. Jordan, thank you, brother, 486 00:30:30,200 --> 00:30:31,920 Speaker 1: thanks for the email. I don't know if you know 487 00:30:32,000 --> 00:30:36,960 Speaker 1: this about me, Jordan, but I share a very similar story. 488 00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:40,880 Speaker 1: I lost my father around the same time I had 489 00:30:40,960 --> 00:30:45,680 Speaker 1: my son, Lincoln, my first son, my second child. Lincoln 490 00:30:46,080 --> 00:30:51,360 Speaker 1: was born in January of twenty and fourteen. In early 491 00:30:51,520 --> 00:30:55,160 Speaker 1: March of twenty fourteen, I lost my dad to a 492 00:30:55,200 --> 00:31:04,360 Speaker 1: massive surprise heart attack. Was around two months old. Your 493 00:31:04,400 --> 00:31:08,640 Speaker 1: son was around twenty four hours old. So there's a 494 00:31:08,680 --> 00:31:11,800 Speaker 1: slight difference there, but similar in fact that they were 495 00:31:11,800 --> 00:31:15,280 Speaker 1: both infants, in fact that we both lost our dad 496 00:31:15,280 --> 00:31:21,560 Speaker 1: to a surprise heart attack. I understand. First thing I'm 497 00:31:21,560 --> 00:31:24,560 Speaker 1: going to point out, brother, first thing I'm going for here, 498 00:31:24,640 --> 00:31:27,320 Speaker 1: this is the low hanging fruit. I've been where you 499 00:31:27,360 --> 00:31:29,600 Speaker 1: are in your shoes to some extent. Every grief is 500 00:31:29,600 --> 00:31:31,920 Speaker 1: different because we all have our own stories. But to 501 00:31:31,920 --> 00:31:34,600 Speaker 1: some extent, the low hanging fruit in your story is 502 00:31:34,640 --> 00:31:41,800 Speaker 1: this from when I'm reading this podcast November December, January, 503 00:31:41,800 --> 00:31:48,840 Speaker 1: February three, November December, January, three months, three months, brother, 504 00:31:50,400 --> 00:31:56,320 Speaker 1: three months. You lost your dad three months ago. That's 505 00:31:56,880 --> 00:32:01,080 Speaker 1: I could spend the entire time answering your question solely 506 00:32:01,120 --> 00:32:05,680 Speaker 1: based on not enough time has gone by. You're in 507 00:32:05,720 --> 00:32:08,360 Speaker 1: the middle of it, man, You are in the trenches, 508 00:32:09,040 --> 00:32:14,600 Speaker 1: and you got enemies coming down raining all over you. 509 00:32:14,600 --> 00:32:17,920 Speaker 1: You say, how are we supposed to balance everything going 510 00:32:17,920 --> 00:32:21,719 Speaker 1: on at once in a healthy Biblical way. It's like 511 00:32:21,840 --> 00:32:25,360 Speaker 1: saying you're in the trenches in World War One and 512 00:32:25,960 --> 00:32:29,720 Speaker 1: German soldiers are piling over into your trench, and you're saying, 513 00:32:30,240 --> 00:32:34,600 Speaker 1: how do I balance all this right now? An appropriate 514 00:32:34,640 --> 00:32:38,440 Speaker 1: answer could be, and should be, you don't have to. 515 00:32:40,440 --> 00:32:42,520 Speaker 1: The world might tell you keep it all in balance, 516 00:32:42,960 --> 00:32:46,920 Speaker 1: keep everything checked, keep everything neutral, the goods, the bads, 517 00:32:46,960 --> 00:32:50,000 Speaker 1: the highs, the lows, keep it all on a manageable level. 518 00:32:50,360 --> 00:32:55,880 Speaker 1: Guess what, bro Sometimes life comes at you hard and 519 00:32:55,920 --> 00:33:03,480 Speaker 1: the balance shifts, chaos ensues, order gone. That's just what 520 00:33:03,560 --> 00:33:12,720 Speaker 1: happens sometimes. Guess what it's okay. Tell yourself that you're 521 00:33:12,760 --> 00:33:14,560 Speaker 1: losing your mind a little bit. You lost your dad, 522 00:33:14,640 --> 00:33:19,640 Speaker 1: you're grieving, you're hurting, you got this newborn son. You're thinking, 523 00:33:20,040 --> 00:33:25,720 Speaker 1: I've lost my mind. Tell yourself, and that is okay, 524 00:33:27,240 --> 00:33:30,360 Speaker 1: and that is understandable. I lost my dad, lost my hero. 525 00:33:31,000 --> 00:33:33,560 Speaker 1: I lost the leader of our family, the patriarch, the 526 00:33:33,600 --> 00:33:37,760 Speaker 1: one I look to for advice, the one that taught 527 00:33:37,760 --> 00:33:39,480 Speaker 1: me how to be a man. How am I supposed 528 00:33:39,480 --> 00:33:42,160 Speaker 1: to teach my son how to be a man when 529 00:33:42,200 --> 00:33:45,080 Speaker 1: I lost the one person that taught me. And I 530 00:33:45,120 --> 00:33:48,160 Speaker 1: haven't finished learning, Dad, You didn't teach me everything yet, 531 00:33:48,440 --> 00:33:51,160 Speaker 1: that still got so much to learn. And now I 532 00:33:51,200 --> 00:33:53,720 Speaker 1: gotta teach this baby how to be a man. And 533 00:33:53,720 --> 00:33:58,000 Speaker 1: I haven't finished my own class yet. I haven't graduated yet, Dad, 534 00:33:58,320 --> 00:34:01,440 Speaker 1: and you left me here. Now I'm losing my mind 535 00:34:01,440 --> 00:34:04,040 Speaker 1: a little bit. I'm crying in the shower. I'm trying 536 00:34:04,040 --> 00:34:06,280 Speaker 1: to hold it together. Be strong for my wife. She's 537 00:34:06,320 --> 00:34:08,600 Speaker 1: got it, she's got a job to do. She's raising 538 00:34:08,719 --> 00:34:11,560 Speaker 1: children and being strong. And then I gotta come out, 539 00:34:11,560 --> 00:34:14,360 Speaker 1: and I gotta earn my keep and pay the bills 540 00:34:14,719 --> 00:34:18,120 Speaker 1: and stand up straight and keep my hair combed and 541 00:34:18,200 --> 00:34:21,200 Speaker 1: in fact, I'm losing my mind a little bit. And 542 00:34:21,239 --> 00:34:27,520 Speaker 1: then you tell yourself and that's okay. No one's gonna 543 00:34:27,520 --> 00:34:30,960 Speaker 1: blame you for that. You break down a little bit 544 00:34:30,960 --> 00:34:34,959 Speaker 1: and you go, man, I'm sorry. Ah. Thinking about Dad 545 00:34:35,000 --> 00:34:36,920 Speaker 1: a lot today. I actually had a dream about him 546 00:34:36,960 --> 00:34:42,319 Speaker 1: last night. I dreamed about Dad and and he was back, 547 00:34:42,360 --> 00:34:44,560 Speaker 1: and he was good, and he looked he looked happy, 548 00:34:44,600 --> 00:34:47,840 Speaker 1: and he looked healthy, and I showed him our little 549 00:34:47,880 --> 00:34:51,200 Speaker 1: son and he held him. And that dream really messed 550 00:34:51,200 --> 00:34:52,840 Speaker 1: me up, because now I've just been thinking about it 551 00:34:52,880 --> 00:34:59,960 Speaker 1: all day. And it's okay, man, Jordan, It's okay, because 552 00:35:00,080 --> 00:35:04,480 Speaker 1: that's what you got. You got time, you got time, 553 00:35:04,520 --> 00:35:08,640 Speaker 1: it's coming. It's the seconds tick by and they turn 554 00:35:08,680 --> 00:35:11,719 Speaker 1: into minutes, and the minutes turn into hours, and the 555 00:35:11,800 --> 00:35:14,640 Speaker 1: hours into days, and the days in the weeks, and 556 00:35:14,680 --> 00:35:17,160 Speaker 1: then the weeks and the months, and then then you're 557 00:35:17,200 --> 00:35:20,919 Speaker 1: counting years like I am, and here I am where 558 00:35:20,960 --> 00:35:26,280 Speaker 1: I sit. In about one month and one month, it'll 559 00:35:26,320 --> 00:35:31,160 Speaker 1: be nine years since I lost my dad. Nine years. 560 00:35:31,680 --> 00:35:33,719 Speaker 1: One year should have a decade. And it feels like 561 00:35:33,880 --> 00:35:37,120 Speaker 1: just yesterday, Jordan, I was you, I was where you are, 562 00:35:37,160 --> 00:35:38,920 Speaker 1: and I was thinking there's no way out of this. 563 00:35:39,520 --> 00:35:42,600 Speaker 1: I'm never gonna feel joy again. Dad taught me everything. 564 00:35:42,600 --> 00:35:44,839 Speaker 1: I'll never I'll never be the same. I've got a 565 00:35:44,880 --> 00:35:48,040 Speaker 1: massive hole in my soul and nothing's gonna replace it 566 00:35:48,480 --> 00:35:53,120 Speaker 1: because Dad has gone. Man, here I am nine years later, 567 00:35:53,200 --> 00:35:57,400 Speaker 1: telling you, brother, you got this. All you have to 568 00:35:57,440 --> 00:36:02,520 Speaker 1: do is take breath. That's all you have to do. 569 00:36:02,560 --> 00:36:04,840 Speaker 1: You don't have to be strong. You don't have to 570 00:36:04,920 --> 00:36:06,960 Speaker 1: be a rock. You don't have to put on a face. 571 00:36:07,280 --> 00:36:08,960 Speaker 1: You don't have to be somebody you're not. You don't 572 00:36:08,960 --> 00:36:10,680 Speaker 1: have to tell your wife that you're strong and you're not. 573 00:36:11,880 --> 00:36:16,520 Speaker 1: You don't you surrender to God. You've got this part 574 00:36:16,560 --> 00:36:18,080 Speaker 1: figured out. You could just give it to God and 575 00:36:18,080 --> 00:36:20,400 Speaker 1: you go God. I don't know what to do. I 576 00:36:20,440 --> 00:36:25,239 Speaker 1: feel like I'm losing my mind. Restore to me the 577 00:36:25,360 --> 00:36:31,640 Speaker 1: joy of my salvation again. And minute by minute, day 578 00:36:31,719 --> 00:36:35,120 Speaker 1: by day, hour by hour, month by month, heartbeat by 579 00:36:35,120 --> 00:36:38,640 Speaker 1: a heartbeat, all the different intervals of time start passing by, 580 00:36:38,680 --> 00:36:44,560 Speaker 1: and you look back and instead of saying losing Dad 581 00:36:44,680 --> 00:36:50,640 Speaker 1: was meaningless, instead nine years later you're me talking to 582 00:36:50,680 --> 00:36:53,799 Speaker 1: someone who's going through it in the trenches, and you go, 583 00:36:54,120 --> 00:36:57,440 Speaker 1: losing my dad was not meaningless because now I've learned 584 00:36:57,480 --> 00:37:07,200 Speaker 1: something very valuable that I pass on to you. Next 585 00:37:07,320 --> 00:37:13,200 Speaker 1: question subject line says question, dear granger, please don't read 586 00:37:13,239 --> 00:37:16,640 Speaker 1: my email address. My question is below. Dear granger, my 587 00:37:16,760 --> 00:37:19,719 Speaker 1: name is Did you not want me to say your name? 588 00:37:20,040 --> 00:37:22,000 Speaker 1: You think it's okay to say your name, just not 589 00:37:22,040 --> 00:37:24,520 Speaker 1: your email. My name is Will. I'm a longtime fan. 590 00:37:24,960 --> 00:37:26,600 Speaker 1: Even have your song list that you threw out in 591 00:37:26,600 --> 00:37:29,360 Speaker 1: the crowd in Colorado hanging in my kitchen. My question 592 00:37:29,480 --> 00:37:32,520 Speaker 1: is this. I accepted Christ as a Lord and savior 593 00:37:32,520 --> 00:37:34,960 Speaker 1: of my life as a teenager. I followed his teaching 594 00:37:35,000 --> 00:37:37,600 Speaker 1: and made him my lord of my life and served 595 00:37:37,600 --> 00:37:41,200 Speaker 1: my church to the point where I became the youth pastor. 596 00:37:42,280 --> 00:37:48,240 Speaker 1: I experienced a church hurt and saw things I can't unsee. 597 00:37:48,920 --> 00:37:52,560 Speaker 1: I also experienced things that happened in my life that 598 00:37:52,640 --> 00:37:56,759 Speaker 1: I wish God would have intervened, and he didn't. And 599 00:37:56,840 --> 00:37:59,880 Speaker 1: now I have a lot of anger towards religion. I 600 00:38:00,120 --> 00:38:04,399 Speaker 1: hold it against God. I still love him and want 601 00:38:04,440 --> 00:38:08,160 Speaker 1: him in my life. How can I forgive him and 602 00:38:08,280 --> 00:38:17,879 Speaker 1: move on? Thanks for all you do, Will from Colorado, Oh, Will, Oh, Will, 603 00:38:17,960 --> 00:38:25,240 Speaker 1: my brother. I have a very simple yet complex answer 604 00:38:25,480 --> 00:38:29,440 Speaker 1: to your question. And it's the same answer. I have 605 00:38:30,480 --> 00:38:34,839 Speaker 1: simple answer that could also answer ninety nine point nine 606 00:38:34,920 --> 00:38:39,880 Speaker 1: percent of all the other questions I get on this podcast. 607 00:38:41,120 --> 00:38:51,960 Speaker 1: My answer to you, Will is, you don't know God. 608 00:38:53,000 --> 00:38:57,960 Speaker 1: You don't know him. You say you love him, you don't. 609 00:38:58,440 --> 00:39:01,480 Speaker 1: You don't love him. You don't love him because you 610 00:39:01,480 --> 00:39:06,319 Speaker 1: don't know him. Because you wouldn't say that. If you did, 611 00:39:07,560 --> 00:39:11,319 Speaker 1: you wouldn't say you wouldn't say something like how could 612 00:39:11,360 --> 00:39:13,560 Speaker 1: I forgive? How could I forgive him? How could you 613 00:39:13,560 --> 00:39:20,160 Speaker 1: forgive God? How could you? You? Will? Okay, hang time out, 614 00:39:20,160 --> 00:39:22,720 Speaker 1: time out, time out. Time. My voice is getting excited, 615 00:39:22,960 --> 00:39:28,720 Speaker 1: my voice is getting direct. Don't let that direct sound 616 00:39:28,840 --> 00:39:32,000 Speaker 1: of my excited voice sound like it's coming down upon you. 617 00:39:32,680 --> 00:39:36,240 Speaker 1: It's not. I'm joining you as a as a fellow 618 00:39:36,520 --> 00:39:41,000 Speaker 1: flawed human. Okay, I'm locking arms with you and joining 619 00:39:41,120 --> 00:39:46,280 Speaker 1: you as a fellow human. So don't let this. Don't 620 00:39:46,360 --> 00:39:49,000 Speaker 1: let Sometimes I listen back on my podcast and I'm like, man, 621 00:39:49,040 --> 00:39:51,880 Speaker 1: you're yelling at him. No, no, no no, no, I'm just 622 00:39:51,920 --> 00:39:55,759 Speaker 1: a very passionate person. Y'all know this. Will, You don't 623 00:39:55,800 --> 00:39:58,400 Speaker 1: know God. You would not tell the creator of the 624 00:39:58,480 --> 00:40:02,360 Speaker 1: universe the Alpha and the Omega, the one that purposed 625 00:40:02,400 --> 00:40:06,080 Speaker 1: heaven and earth, the one that spoke life. You would 626 00:40:06,120 --> 00:40:10,560 Speaker 1: not say something like you are trying to forgive him. 627 00:40:12,640 --> 00:40:15,319 Speaker 1: You would not say something like I'm trying not to 628 00:40:15,440 --> 00:40:21,640 Speaker 1: hold it against him anything. You would not say I 629 00:40:21,680 --> 00:40:24,759 Speaker 1: still love him and want him. But you wouldn't say 630 00:40:24,760 --> 00:40:31,799 Speaker 1: but if you just knew him. I say all that 631 00:40:31,880 --> 00:40:35,800 Speaker 1: in a way that I have sympathy for you, because 632 00:40:36,880 --> 00:40:41,640 Speaker 1: I one hundred percent understand you and where you're coming 633 00:40:41,680 --> 00:40:45,560 Speaker 1: from and your sentiment, and that your your idea of 634 00:40:45,600 --> 00:40:48,200 Speaker 1: You've seen bad things in the church, which has nothing 635 00:40:48,200 --> 00:40:51,839 Speaker 1: to do with God. Those are people, flawed humans that 636 00:40:51,880 --> 00:40:57,319 Speaker 1: have messed up. No front page news there you have 637 00:40:57,719 --> 00:41:03,400 Speaker 1: experienced church hurt. I've saw things that you can't unsee. 638 00:41:03,560 --> 00:41:08,160 Speaker 1: Have we not all? Have we not all? Just get 639 00:41:08,200 --> 00:41:12,080 Speaker 1: on Twitter for five seconds, turn on the news, open 640 00:41:12,160 --> 00:41:16,080 Speaker 1: up any front page of any article. You see things 641 00:41:16,520 --> 00:41:19,239 Speaker 1: that you wish you couldn't see, you wish didn't happen 642 00:41:19,320 --> 00:41:26,680 Speaker 1: on this earth. And then you say, in your life 643 00:41:27,000 --> 00:41:30,759 Speaker 1: you've experienced things that you wish God would have intervened on. 644 00:41:34,040 --> 00:41:35,799 Speaker 1: I say that in a way that I understand you, 645 00:41:36,960 --> 00:41:38,800 Speaker 1: but also in a way that I used to feel 646 00:41:38,800 --> 00:41:43,239 Speaker 1: that way, but I don't anymore because now I know 647 00:41:43,640 --> 00:41:47,520 Speaker 1: who God is. This is the most passionate thing I 648 00:41:47,520 --> 00:41:51,400 Speaker 1: could ever be about in my life. How did I know? 649 00:41:51,560 --> 00:41:54,319 Speaker 1: How did I learn this? Through the living, breathing word 650 00:41:54,320 --> 00:41:57,320 Speaker 1: of God, the Bible itself, reading it cover to cover 651 00:41:57,800 --> 00:42:01,239 Speaker 1: diligently every single day, not taking a learning through that 652 00:42:01,400 --> 00:42:04,960 Speaker 1: the character of God through that, page after page, story 653 00:42:05,040 --> 00:42:10,520 Speaker 1: after story, learning the character. If you're married and you're 654 00:42:10,520 --> 00:42:14,040 Speaker 1: around your wife every single day, slowly, after being around 655 00:42:14,040 --> 00:42:17,440 Speaker 1: her and hearing her talk, you learn her character so 656 00:42:17,640 --> 00:42:19,600 Speaker 1: much so that you could start to predict how she 657 00:42:19,640 --> 00:42:23,280 Speaker 1: would react in certain situations, how she would handle certain things, 658 00:42:23,360 --> 00:42:25,520 Speaker 1: even though she's not there or even though she's not 659 00:42:25,719 --> 00:42:28,600 Speaker 1: currently speaking about it. You know her so well because 660 00:42:28,600 --> 00:42:31,279 Speaker 1: you're with her every day that you could predict how 661 00:42:31,320 --> 00:42:34,959 Speaker 1: she's going to respond. And that's what happens with God 662 00:42:35,160 --> 00:42:37,960 Speaker 1: when you're in his word, when you're diligent about it, 663 00:42:38,400 --> 00:42:41,160 Speaker 1: and you understand. If you're in his word, you understand 664 00:42:41,160 --> 00:42:44,440 Speaker 1: that bad things happen, that things happen within the church, 665 00:42:44,880 --> 00:42:47,800 Speaker 1: that things happen within leadership of the church, and religion 666 00:42:47,960 --> 00:42:52,160 Speaker 1: becomes corrupt. Wow, those stories are all in the Bible, 667 00:42:52,440 --> 00:42:56,520 Speaker 1: and see how God feels about that. See how God 668 00:42:56,840 --> 00:43:00,600 Speaker 1: reacts to those situations that you're talking about. They're right 669 00:43:00,640 --> 00:43:02,799 Speaker 1: there in front of you in your Bible, and it 670 00:43:02,800 --> 00:43:06,600 Speaker 1: will blow your mind if you read that and you go, oh, 671 00:43:07,080 --> 00:43:11,720 Speaker 1: that's how God feels about church hurt. That's how God 672 00:43:11,760 --> 00:43:18,680 Speaker 1: feels about these experiences that I can't unsee. That's how 673 00:43:18,719 --> 00:43:22,799 Speaker 1: God feels about these experiences in my life that I 674 00:43:22,840 --> 00:43:28,040 Speaker 1: wish he would have intervened. This is what he promises, 675 00:43:28,800 --> 00:43:32,239 Speaker 1: This is what he is fulfilled. This is where he 676 00:43:32,320 --> 00:43:36,960 Speaker 1: came through. This is why he allows suffering. This is 677 00:43:37,000 --> 00:43:40,399 Speaker 1: why he doesn't stop it, because he walks us through 678 00:43:40,440 --> 00:43:43,160 Speaker 1: it so that we benefit from it, so that we're 679 00:43:43,160 --> 00:43:47,680 Speaker 1: refined like gold and silver in a furnace. He refines 680 00:43:47,760 --> 00:43:51,720 Speaker 1: us through suffering, through tribulation, through like the last question, 681 00:43:51,800 --> 00:43:55,200 Speaker 1: losing our dads, and I don't want to lose my dad. God, 682 00:43:55,200 --> 00:43:57,200 Speaker 1: why didn't you intervene? Why don't you stop the heart 683 00:43:57,200 --> 00:43:59,360 Speaker 1: attack from happening, so he could have been here and 684 00:43:59,400 --> 00:44:01,520 Speaker 1: he could be with me and he could see my 685 00:44:01,640 --> 00:44:04,200 Speaker 1: son Lincoln. Why would you do that to me? God? 686 00:44:04,239 --> 00:44:08,920 Speaker 1: You could have intervened if I said that it would 687 00:44:08,960 --> 00:44:13,160 Speaker 1: be because I don't know God. Because God says I 688 00:44:13,239 --> 00:44:15,680 Speaker 1: got a plan for you, Granger I got a plan 689 00:44:15,800 --> 00:44:19,800 Speaker 1: for you, Will, and you can't always see the result 690 00:44:19,880 --> 00:44:22,640 Speaker 1: of it right now, you can't always see what I'm doing. 691 00:44:22,800 --> 00:44:25,280 Speaker 1: In fact, you don't need to know what I'm doing. 692 00:44:25,640 --> 00:44:29,560 Speaker 1: I am building something, I'm doing something new, and you 693 00:44:29,719 --> 00:44:33,320 Speaker 1: need me and you need this plan. And it's always good, 694 00:44:33,680 --> 00:44:37,880 Speaker 1: even with the suffering. Take your favorite movie, Will, and 695 00:44:37,960 --> 00:44:40,200 Speaker 1: take the bad guy out of it. Take the bad 696 00:44:40,239 --> 00:44:42,760 Speaker 1: scenario out of your favorite movie, and what does it become? 697 00:44:43,840 --> 00:44:46,919 Speaker 1: Probably your least favorite movie because it no longer has 698 00:44:47,040 --> 00:44:50,360 Speaker 1: the struggle, and it no longer has the main character 699 00:44:50,760 --> 00:44:54,880 Speaker 1: overcoming the struggle, learning becoming better because of it and 700 00:44:54,960 --> 00:44:58,600 Speaker 1: trying thing in the end, because of the darkness, because 701 00:44:58,600 --> 00:45:02,080 Speaker 1: of the struggle, because of the suffering. That's why it's there. 702 00:45:02,360 --> 00:45:06,239 Speaker 1: That's why you love the movie so much. You don't 703 00:45:06,320 --> 00:45:17,160 Speaker 1: know God, learn who he is. Love you guys, See 704 00:45:17,160 --> 00:45:20,160 Speaker 1: you next Monday. Thanks for joining me on the Grangersmith podcast. 705 00:45:20,200 --> 00:45:22,680 Speaker 1: I appreciate all of you guys. You could help me 706 00:45:22,719 --> 00:45:26,320 Speaker 1: out by rating this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube, 707 00:45:26,560 --> 00:45:29,799 Speaker 1: subscribe to this channel. Hit that little like button and 708 00:45:29,840 --> 00:45:33,080 Speaker 1: the notification spell so that you never miss anytime I 709 00:45:33,200 --> 00:45:36,000 Speaker 1: upload a video. If you have a question for me 710 00:45:36,080 --> 00:45:39,880 Speaker 1: that you would like me to answer, email Grangersmith Podcast 711 00:45:40,000 --> 00:45:42,680 Speaker 1: at gmail dot com. Yi Yi