Speaker 1: Look out.
Speaker 2: It's only films to be buried with. Hello, and welcome
Speaker 2: to films to be buried with. My name is Brett Goldstein.
Speaker 2: I'm a comedian and actor, a writer, a director, a
Speaker 2: cheeses for us mess and I love films as Ebane's
Speaker 2: a Scrooge once said. I will honor Christmas in my
Speaker 2: heart and try to keep it all the year by
Speaker 2: playing them up at Christmas Carol soundtrack on hard rotation
Speaker 2: even in summer. Excellent idea Ebenezer Scrooge. Every week I
Speaker 2: invite a special guest over. I tell them they've died.
Speaker 2: Then I get them to discuss their life through the
Speaker 2: films that mean the most of them. Previous guests include
Speaker 2: Barry Jenkins, Jamila Jamil, Mark Frost, Sharon Stone and even
Speaker 2: But this week it's the wonderful actor, writer and comedian.
Speaker 2: It's the brilliant Leslie Jones. Head over to the patroon
Speaker 2: at patreon dot com forward slash Brett Goldstein, where you
Speaker 2: get extra twenty minutes. It's weird, Leslie. She tells me
Speaker 2: a secret. We talk about beginnings and endings. You get
Speaker 2: the whole thing, uncut, nab free and does a video
Speaker 2: you can find all of that over at patreon dot
Speaker 2: com forward slash Brecoldsting. But you know what, because it's Christmas,
Speaker 2: I'm going to give you the Patreon section for free
Speaker 2: this week because it's such a banger. She's so brilliant
Speaker 2: and I think you should all hear it. The only
Speaker 2: thing I will keep in the Patrion section is their secret,
Speaker 2: because I always keep those secret secret.
Speaker 1: That's the whole point of a minute.
Speaker 2: So Leslie Jones is a star best known as a
Speaker 2: stand up, a ghostbuster, and a legend from SNL. She
Speaker 2: has a new book out called Leslie Fucking Jones, which
Speaker 2: you must buy. We had never met before we recorded this.
Speaker 2: We recorded it on Zoom a couple.
Speaker 1: Of weeks ago.
Speaker 2: She hadn't done the homework and that made it even
Speaker 2: more fun. She's so funny. She's such a joy. This
Speaker 2: is one of my favorite ones ever and I really
Speaker 2: think you're going to love it. So that is it
Speaker 2: for now. Merry Christmas, and I hope you very much
Speaker 2: enjoy episode two hundred and seventy nine of Films to
Speaker 2: be Buried With. Hello, and welcome to Films to be
Speaker 2: Buried With. It is I Brett Goldstein and I am
Speaker 2: joined today by an actor, a writer, a comedian, an improviser,
Speaker 2: and ghostbuster and Emmy nominee award winner, a hero, a legend,
Speaker 2: a Saturday Night Liver, a stand uper, a hero to
Speaker 2: the world and the legend to this life. I can't
Speaker 2: believe she's here, but she is. Can you please run
Speaker 2: to the show. It's the brilliant It's like the Dives.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, what an introduction. That is a hell
Speaker 1: of the least you deserve. That's the hell of a intro.
Speaker 3: By the way, your character on ted Lassong is literally
Speaker 3: one of my favorite characters in the world.
Speaker 1: Get out of here.
Speaker 3: I love when people start off all mean and you
Speaker 3: end up loving them by the end.
Speaker 1: It's one of my favorite character arts.
Speaker 3: And you played it so fucking good, dude, Like the
Speaker 3: relationship that you have with the players and the coaches
Speaker 3: and your niece and the it's just so. It was
Speaker 3: played so good, dude. You deserved all of the awards.
Speaker 3: I just love, love, love love loved your part. You
Speaker 3: were fucking fantastic, and.
Speaker 2: That's what we've got time for. Thank you so much
Speaker 2: for doing this show. That's likely everywhere we've all enjoyed
Speaker 2: us as about a lovely day out.
Speaker 1: We leave it there.
Speaker 2: Thank you, Leslie. That's that's far too kind and very
Speaker 2: very kind of you. I'm a massive fan of yours
Speaker 2: and I'm excited to meet you. Thank you so much.
Speaker 2: What a lovely thing.
Speaker 3: It's so crazy when people that you watch on TV
Speaker 3: that you like like you and you're like, oh, okay,
Speaker 3: that's great.
Speaker 1: It's crazy.
Speaker 2: Well listen, let's let's not because let's not make each
Speaker 2: other cry. It's too early, all right, it's too early
Speaker 2: in the podcast.
Speaker 1: Where are you? And do you.
Speaker 2: I've got so many questions for you, but one of
Speaker 2: them is you just had that night life for ages
Speaker 2: and more incredible?
Speaker 1: Do you miss it? Well?
Speaker 3: It was only five seasons, so you know, five seasons
Speaker 3: was long. It's a long time because we do a
Speaker 3: lot of work. But do I miss it? I missed
Speaker 3: doing the show, but I don't miss all the politics
Speaker 3: and everything around it.
Speaker 1: It was time to go.
Speaker 3: It was definitely time to go, or if I didn't go,
Speaker 3: I wouldn't be I wouldn't have been able to leave,
Speaker 3: if that.
Speaker 1: Makes any sense. It doesn't make sense.
Speaker 3: If I would have stayed any longer, then I would
Speaker 3: have got to the place where I wouldn't be able
Speaker 3: to comfortably leave, and it was time. I was about
Speaker 3: fifty something when I left, so I was like, yeah,
Speaker 3: I gotta go.
Speaker 1: I'm getting old.
Speaker 3: I gotta go try to do other shits, you know,
Speaker 3: before the life runs out.
Speaker 1: So wow, you.
Speaker 3: Know, if they had got me in my twenties, I
Speaker 3: probably would have stayed ten years.
Speaker 2: To you, other than being a movie style, are you
Speaker 2: doing most stand up at a minute?
Speaker 1: Yes, that's all. You know. What's so crazy that people
Speaker 1: don't know me.
Speaker 3: As a stand up And that's how I made my
Speaker 3: bread and butter. So when somebody's like you're a comedian too,
Speaker 3: I want to punch them in the face. You're like,
Speaker 3: are you serious? That is like my main job. I
Speaker 3: am a comedy yan. You know what I'm saying. It's like,
Speaker 3: are you kidding me? I'll start performing right now.
Speaker 2: But where where are you at with it? Are you
Speaker 2: touring at the minute or you're building a new show?
Speaker 2: Where you're at?
Speaker 1: Yes, I'm touring.
Speaker 3: I'm touring a lot of little places, but I'm mostly
Speaker 3: in La working on new stuff. I'm always at the
Speaker 3: comedy store, just you know, working on new material, making
Speaker 3: sure that I have. I actually have two specials in
Speaker 3: the what do they call it, in the in the
Speaker 3: in the.
Speaker 1: In the chamber as in their shot ready to Chamber, Yes,
Speaker 1: in the chamber pooming. Yes, I already have enough material
Speaker 1: for two specials. So that's great. Yeah, I'm always writing, Yeah,
Speaker 1: always right. I mean, it's the most fun, isn't it? Yes?
Speaker 2: What about the I mean I asked this because listen,
Speaker 2: I deal with the things. You're a multi hyphen it
Speaker 2: or whatever. Of all the things you left, you left
Speaker 2: the SNL. You're like, I've got so much I need
Speaker 2: to do in this life. What's left?
Speaker 3: Well, you know what's so crazy? Like, you know, this
Speaker 3: industry is such a weird industry. So I still want
Speaker 3: to play like a villain, you know. I still want
Speaker 3: to play a villain in a movie.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 3: I still want to do a superhero movie. I still
Speaker 3: want to do stuff like that.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 3: I definitely want to get the podcast back up. I
Speaker 3: want to write some stuff, you know. But it's just like,
Speaker 3: do I have enough life to do that?
Speaker 1: Like I'm olding you. You're saying it like you ain't
Speaker 1: got long.
Speaker 3: I'm fifty sick, I'm fifty six. I turned fifty turned
Speaker 3: fifty six this year. I know people don't think that
Speaker 3: I look like that, but I am bitch.
Speaker 2: Like, hey, stop calling me bitch and big. I know
Speaker 2: I'm talking fifty six. You know I ain't got double
Speaker 2: on that. You got another fifty two guys, surely.
Speaker 3: I hope you're right. I hope I could be a
Speaker 3: bety White. That would be That's what that's the goal is.
Speaker 2: Be bety white is a good mission for everyone.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I'm dying right on my birthday, like on
Speaker 3: a hundredth birthday. I want to die like right on
Speaker 3: one hundred birthday. As soon as I blow out the candles.
Speaker 3: I want to be like, well, listen, you've fuck up
Speaker 3: the whole party.
Speaker 1: You've spoilt it.
Speaker 2: Because I was going to tell you that you are
Speaker 2: you are already dead. This is this is what the
Speaker 2: shot is. You are dead. I forgot to tell you that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what somebody said. Yeah, so you died? What
Speaker 1: what is this? What is this?
Speaker 2: Well, this is I guess this is what did I
Speaker 2: die of? Though, Well it's up to you. But it
Speaker 2: sounds like you died blowing out the candles. But I
Speaker 2: don't know what you died of Nah.
Speaker 3: Nah, if I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die either on
Speaker 3: the toilet or on a man's penis.
Speaker 1: What if? What if? What is in the same position,
Speaker 1: same position for both of them?
Speaker 2: May I offer this up, given this is your dream death,
Speaker 2: Not only are you on a man's penis, but you're
Speaker 2: also on the toilet and you're blown out?
Speaker 1: Can your hundredth birthday? Can? How the fuck? That's a
Speaker 1: busy bet.
Speaker 2: He's sat on a toilet. He says, baby, come sit here,
Speaker 2: it's your hundredth birthday. Let me give you a little treat.
Speaker 2: He's got a cake for you. You sit on the penis,
Speaker 2: you blow out the cake, and what neither of you die.
Speaker 2: What neither of you knew was that there was a
Speaker 2: major gas leak in the bathroom. And as you blew
Speaker 2: the candles to the flame at the gas and you
Speaker 2: all explained, no.
Speaker 1: No, I don't want him to die.
Speaker 3: I don't have to die, but I could. I could
Speaker 3: die on him. I just die from a heart attack,
Speaker 3: or not heart attack, just death.
Speaker 1: I'm just dead. I'm a hundred ship. There shouldn't be
Speaker 1: no excuse. I just do you.
Speaker 2: Think the man that you that you die on you
Speaker 2: don't want him to die at the same time, but
Speaker 2: I worry, like.
Speaker 1: I don't want him to die.
Speaker 2: But he's he's gonna be young. Yeah, he's gonna be
Speaker 2: so young. But imagine him calling Let's say you're in
Speaker 2: a hotel. He has to call the concierge.
Speaker 3: We're not gonna be at a hotel. See, first of all,
Speaker 3: you think that none of this is set up. All
Speaker 3: this is set up. This is in the women, this
Speaker 3: is this is in the directions of when. So no
Speaker 3: one's gonna be surprised. Everybody's gonna be like, Yep, she
Speaker 3: died just like she wanted. And he knows as soon
Speaker 3: as I die, he's just gonna call call my aunt
Speaker 3: Pat or Hoevers taking care of and said, hey, she's gone.
Speaker 1: She's gone an anti Pat.
Speaker 2: No Anti Pat's like, uh, she says, Auntie, she's sitting
Speaker 2: on your pa anti pad news.
Speaker 3: She said, yep, she didn't tell the pastor. That she
Speaker 3: didn't tell the pastor. But it's cool.
Speaker 2: You don't got to know the young man that you dieing.
Speaker 2: Is this a one offul you've been with him for
Speaker 2: a while.
Speaker 3: Nah, he's somebody that's been around for a while planning
Speaker 3: on getting me like.
Speaker 1: A young a young dude.
Speaker 2: Okay, his mody just be around his My concerned for
Speaker 2: the young dude is that? So he knows the whole plan, right,
Speaker 2: So you're asking this, He's had a lovely talking, he
Speaker 2: loves you, he's having a great time, and then he
Speaker 2: knows he's on your nighty night, the night, last night
Speaker 2: of your nine night. You're like, tomorrow's tomorrow's the day, baby,
Speaker 2: and he's thinking, but I love you, and you're telling
Speaker 2: me I got to get an erection and sit on
Speaker 2: the toilet and hold a birthday cake knowing this is
Speaker 2: the one that's going to kill you.
Speaker 3: Listen, when I sat down with him and made this deal,
Speaker 3: he knew what he was getting into.
Speaker 1: He knew, he's been training, he knew the risk, he
Speaker 1: knew we've we've we've we've.
Speaker 3: Done test, We've ran this a couple of times. He's fine,
Speaker 3: and plus I'm leaving him a whole bunch of money.
Speaker 3: He's fucking fine.
Speaker 2: He's fine. He can perform under the secumstances. By the way,
Speaker 2: this is the one that kills me.
Speaker 3: Yep, matter of fact, it turns him on. That's kind of.
Speaker 1: That's his thing. Yeah, killer Dick.
Speaker 2: The thing is, with that being your fetishes, you don't
Speaker 2: get to do it many times.
Speaker 1: I guess nah. I mean, but that's you know, coming
Speaker 1: and going.
Speaker 2: You know, we're ten minutes since, but that's not ready.
Speaker 2: You've had the best death that's ever happened so well,
Speaker 2: so far?
Speaker 1: Is that good? Well? Do you worry about death? Is
Speaker 1: this something you worry about the daily? You know? I
Speaker 1: didn't used to.
Speaker 3: I didn't used to when I was young, but now
Speaker 3: that I'm getting older, I do think about it.
Speaker 1: I always think about.
Speaker 3: Like, cause you know, a lot of my friends have
Speaker 3: passed away, you know, and most of my family, my mom,
Speaker 3: my dad, and my brother's gone, so death has been
Speaker 3: around me. I just I think the only thing I'm
Speaker 3: worried about is how I'm going. You know, I don't
Speaker 3: know if I'm worried about when as much as how right.
Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying. I don't want it to
Speaker 3: be no long drawn out death like cancer or something
Speaker 3: like that. Like I often look at those those shows
Speaker 3: that people go, Okay, well I'm going to just go
Speaker 3: ahead and you know, end it, because I don't want
Speaker 3: to go through the suffering and I go, I wonder
Speaker 3: if I would do that, But then that's kind of
Speaker 3: like not in my plan either, because it's like that
Speaker 3: means that I'm giving up, So I'm not a quitter.
Speaker 1: So I don't know. Do you think there's an after life?
Speaker 1: Do you believe in?
Speaker 2: What?
Speaker 1: Do you think? Yes? I do believe.
Speaker 3: I believe that we live the afterlife that we plan
Speaker 3: in life, if that makes any sense, Like you you
Speaker 3: form your own hell.
Speaker 1: I think you form your own hell, and.
Speaker 3: If you're if you're not a good person, then that's
Speaker 3: probably the aura that you're going to go into. I
Speaker 3: think that's the darkness that you carry with you to
Speaker 3: your death. But I think that if you live a
Speaker 3: good life and you live it out, then you you
Speaker 3: treat people good and stuff. I think that when you pass,
Speaker 3: you go into that type of afterlife. So yeah, I
Speaker 3: believe that there's got to be something bigger. I mean,
Speaker 3: I'm not knowing what it is, but I do think
Speaker 3: that there's something bigger than us.
Speaker 1: I do believe that, well do you? So?
Speaker 2: Do you think if someone's bad that the hell that
Speaker 2: they create comes from their like subconscious guilt to it? Like,
Speaker 2: what if they're bad and they think they're great. They
Speaker 2: think they're great.
Speaker 3: Well, that's not how karma works, is it. That's not
Speaker 3: how the universe works. The universe. I mean, you're lying
Speaker 3: to yourself. No one the universe doesn't lie to you.
Speaker 3: I mean, even if you're lying to yourself, the truth
Speaker 3: is being told to you everywhere you go. You can
Speaker 3: lie to yourself all you want to, but your friends
Speaker 3: are telling you the truth. Your actions are telling you
Speaker 3: the truth. The people around you, the things that happen
Speaker 3: to you are telling you the truth. So you can
Speaker 3: lie all you want to. Everybody else is not going to.
Speaker 3: So I feel like, yeah, you could think you're great
Speaker 3: if you want to. But the people, I really do believe,
Speaker 3: the people that were in your life.
Speaker 1: Come to you.
Speaker 3: I believe that they'll let you know that, Yeah, motherfuck
Speaker 3: you was a fucked up person.
Speaker 1: When you was a lied like you was fucked up.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 3: I don't know if I believe in hell in heaven.
Speaker 3: I don't know if I believe in that concept. I
Speaker 3: think I would love to. I would love to believe,
Speaker 3: but I don't know if I believe in that completely.
Speaker 3: I do believe in reincarnation and stuff. I believe we
Speaker 3: come back.
Speaker 1: I believe that. I believe that. I believe.
Speaker 2: But this this thing you step into, you think that
Speaker 2: that's like a dream that happens when you die, or
Speaker 2: you think it's you go straight to the next life.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think it's a process.
Speaker 3: I mean, I feel like it's like, hey, this is
Speaker 3: how you lived your last life, Like you better go into.
Speaker 1: Your next one? Fucking do you want? You know what
Speaker 1: I'm saying.
Speaker 3: I think that each life we elevate subconsciously and like
Speaker 3: our personality and stuff.
Speaker 1: I think it develops each life.
Speaker 3: I think each life that we come back and we
Speaker 3: tried to fix what we didn't do right the last time.
Speaker 1: I think. I mean, I love it. It's a nice
Speaker 1: little concern, you know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Well listen, I got I got news, Leslie. There
Speaker 2: is a heaven on the way to the next life,
Speaker 2: and you are welcoming it, okay, And it's for the good.
Speaker 2: Oh well, it's for good people. You're welcome. Turns out
Speaker 2: you're very good. Well, so I hope you're right, and uh,
Speaker 2: people very excited to see it. But it's filled with
Speaker 2: your favorite thing. What's your favorite thing?
Speaker 3: Uh?
Speaker 1: You mean my heaven? Oh that's like weird. Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: filled with weed. This is so weed. Really good food.
Speaker 3: I really like good food, Like it doesn't matter what
Speaker 3: it is, as long as it's good, Like, as long
Speaker 3: as it tastes really good. I don't care what it is, steak, chicken,
Speaker 3: whatever is. It just tastes so fucking good. And I
Speaker 3: like sweets and TV and I love TV.
Speaker 1: So it's so funny. That's funny.
Speaker 3: You ask me that whenever I'm sitting by my pool,
Speaker 3: Like I sit by my pool and I smoke a
Speaker 3: joint and I'm enjoying my day, and I always ask God,
Speaker 3: I'll be like, yo, if I die, is my pool going.
Speaker 1: To be there? Like it's.
Speaker 3: My God bade me smoke wheat, like because this is
Speaker 3: the best feeling ever, Like this is great.
Speaker 2: Well, let me tell you it's all that. The place
Speaker 2: is made of weed. You see in a weed chest,
Speaker 2: and there's this buffets, got sweets.
Speaker 1: It's called all the best food. You fucking you love it.
Speaker 2: However, everyone in heaven very excited to see you, but
Speaker 2: they want to talk to you about your life. I
Speaker 2: want to talk about your life through film. And the
Speaker 2: first thing they asked you is what is the first
Speaker 2: film you remember seeing Letsie Jays.
Speaker 3: Ooh oh see, that's so hard because I'm fifty six.
Speaker 3: That's such a long time ago.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. I think the films. See, when I.
Speaker 3: Was a kid, I was like a night out kid,
Speaker 3: So I would watch all the old movies, like the
Speaker 3: dancing movies, the Bing.
Speaker 1: Crosby and all of that. Any movie like that.
Speaker 3: Shirley Temple probably would be the first thing that I remember.
Speaker 3: Shirley Temple wo and Shirley Temple Day, and I was
Speaker 3: in love with Shirley Temple. I thought, this little girl
Speaker 3: is fucking so talented, and she dances with the fucking slaves.
Speaker 1: She's fucking great man.
Speaker 3: And then I think, you know, then the series of
Speaker 3: black movies, like cause I'm a black family, of course,
Speaker 3: so the Wiz, all of the Sidney poort j movies
Speaker 3: with Bill Cosby, all of those movies. Blues Brothers was
Speaker 3: a favorite in our house. Blues Brothers in Greece were
Speaker 3: two serious movies. And I've seen Blues Brothers at least
Speaker 3: fifty times. At least fifty times.
Speaker 1: Grease maybe one hundred, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3: So those were the two movies that we would rent
Speaker 3: out every weekend, no matter.
Speaker 2: What you'd watch as a family, or you and your brother,
Speaker 2: was it just you and your brother.
Speaker 1: Me and my brother, me and my brother.
Speaker 3: But as a family, we always watched the up to
Speaker 3: date scary movies.
Speaker 1: Like my dad. I don't know what the hell was
Speaker 1: wrong with my dad.
Speaker 3: He would let us watch scary movies like The Friday
Speaker 3: the Thirteenth and and all that shit, like Exorcist. I
Speaker 3: remember him taking us to the fucking drive in to
Speaker 3: see Exorsus and my mom was so mad at him
Speaker 3: because I.
Speaker 1: Could not sleep for a month.
Speaker 3: My brother had to sleep in my room for a
Speaker 3: month because I was so scared. And I kept telling
Speaker 3: my mom. I was like, you know, the reason that
Speaker 3: the devil took her body was because she was weak
Speaker 3: and I'm weak? Am I weak?
Speaker 1: Like want the devil to come and get me?
Speaker 3: And she would always be like, yeah, you're kind of
Speaker 3: bad the devil and I'd be like, don't say that, mom, shit.
Speaker 3: So yeah, it's like we had My dad was in
Speaker 3: the army and my mom worked, so we watched a
Speaker 3: lot of movies. We watched a lot of TV. He
Speaker 3: was younger. He was three years younger than me.
Speaker 2: Yeah, because the next question is, what's the film that
Speaker 2: scheduled the micet? But is it The Exorcist or is
Speaker 2: there another to.
Speaker 1: This mother fucking day.
Speaker 3: I do not even turn the TV on if I
Speaker 3: know Exorcist is shown. They got a new version of
Speaker 3: Exorcist and I was going through I think it was
Speaker 3: Peacock or Amazon, one of them, and that shit popped up.
Speaker 1: I almost jumped up and ran out of the fucking room.
Speaker 3: I don't even want that played in my house because
Speaker 3: I'm scared that I'm still gonna get possessed by the devil.
Speaker 3: The Exorcist is one of the fucking scariest movie ever
Speaker 3: their original. I haven't seen the remake, but I'm assuming
Speaker 3: that it's scary as him.
Speaker 1: But back in the day, they used to make all
Speaker 1: the Damien. You remember omen only.
Speaker 3: One, two, and three, all three in the Motherfuckers you
Speaker 3: wanted to kill that little boy, You're.
Speaker 1: Like, what the fuck? The little boys evil? Nobody ain't
Speaker 1: killed him yet.
Speaker 3: The fuck and I put some rat poison in his
Speaker 3: fucking food something.
Speaker 1: This motherfucker's a menace Like he wasn't. He wasn't real menace.
Speaker 1: That was a fucking.
Speaker 3: Crazy little boy, This little boy was crazy and they
Speaker 3: always went to the woods with him.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he gonna kill you. He taking you to the woods.
Speaker 1: The fuck. He's a fucking menace. I think it's quite
Speaker 1: good parenting.
Speaker 2: It's possibly good parenting to take the exos, because then
Speaker 2: then then they have something on you, like you're weak.
Speaker 2: Anytime you're annoy anytime you know you, they tell you
Speaker 2: you're weak. God, you're the devil.
Speaker 3: The devil is gonna get you.
Speaker 2: Ah. What about what about crying? Are you a crier?
Speaker 2: And if so, what is the film that made you cry?
Speaker 1: Oh, let me tell you.
Speaker 3: First of all, Ted Lasso, I cried every episode, every
Speaker 3: fucking episode. Oh my god, when the when when dude
Speaker 3: came with his father, when the African father came.
Speaker 1: Down, I was choking. I was.
Speaker 3: When he when he when Homeboy took you to the Windmills,
Speaker 3: I was. Yes, I am definitely a higher And I
Speaker 3: if I want to cry, I make sure that I
Speaker 3: find a movie that I know I'm gonna cry on.
Speaker 3: So there's so many movies. Oh, Lady Sings the Blues.
Speaker 3: Lady Sings the Blues is probably my first heartbreak movie.
Speaker 1: Just heartbreak. Oh no, Sparkle. How the fuck could I
Speaker 1: forget about Sparkle.
Speaker 3: Sparkle is definitely the movie that every time, every time
Speaker 3: I cry, you've never seen Sparkle. I'm so happy I
Speaker 3: get to tell you about this movie. Okay, it's like
Speaker 3: to dream Girls. It's like to dream Girls. It's Irene Kara.
Speaker 3: It's about three sisters that start singing together.
Speaker 1: One of the sisters is on drugs.
Speaker 3: And it's it's just goes just oh my god, it's
Speaker 3: so good. Philip Michael Thomas.
Speaker 1: Is in it.
Speaker 3: If you look at it, you're gonna see a lot
Speaker 3: of old people. But it's so fucking good every time. Yes, yes,
Speaker 3: it's just like it's just like it really is that
Speaker 3: it's so fucking good. I'm telling you. Every time Sister died,
Speaker 3: I cry like a mother fucker. And and boys in
Speaker 3: the hood, every time Ricky runs up that goddamn alley,
Speaker 3: I'd be like.
Speaker 1: Zid zag, mother fucker said.
Speaker 3: Zag and he never said zags. And he gets shot every.
Speaker 1: Time every time running in a straight life.
Speaker 3: I told Lawris that he was dying. He was like,
Speaker 3: you don't know how many people come up to me
Speaker 3: and tell me that. Yeah, yeah, but I'm a crier
Speaker 3: for sure. I'm a crier for sure.
Speaker 2: I think that's good. I mean, do you cry in
Speaker 2: life or do you use TV? I mean films to cry,
Speaker 2: so you don't cry in life.
Speaker 3: You know what's so funny? I do cry in life,
Speaker 3: but I have a time limit. I don't cry long.
Speaker 3: If I cry long, it really. The only time I
Speaker 3: ever have cried long is if it's a heartbreak. If
Speaker 3: it's a heartbreak, I cry. I cried through the day.
Speaker 3: But if I'm upset about something, I'll cry and then
Speaker 3: I'll be like, Okay, it's over, and then draw my eyes.
Speaker 1: Let's solve the shit. Nice.
Speaker 2: You know what is the film that you love? People
Speaker 2: don't really like it. It is not critically acclaimed, but
Speaker 2: you love it unconditionally.
Speaker 1: Show Girls. I was so easy. That was the easiest thing.
Speaker 1: Show Girls? Correct, show Girls? How the fuck people don't
Speaker 1: love Showgirls? You're crazy?
Speaker 2: You are crazy, crazy masterpiece and always was, they were,
Speaker 2: they were.
Speaker 1: And they think it's a piece of shit. I don't
Speaker 1: know why.
Speaker 3: Yo, when she beats that guy's ass at the end
Speaker 3: of the movie, best scene ever, it's just I love
Speaker 3: Showgirls and people be like that was the work.
Speaker 1: No, it was not. It was Elizabeth's best fucking word. No.
Speaker 1: I loved it, the way she danced. I mean, think
Speaker 1: of the.
Speaker 3: Dancing and that shit Gina, Oh my god, come on,
Speaker 3: come on, I love that movie.
Speaker 1: And people hated that movie.
Speaker 2: It's got d Cooper in it. It's fluless. It's a
Speaker 2: flawless masterpiece.
Speaker 1: It really is, I mean.
Speaker 2: Of naked ladies, and so they have to hate on it.
Speaker 3: It was so oh my god, how are you gonna
Speaker 3: be scared of that of ladies? When there was a
Speaker 3: point where when she did the nipples, I was like,
Speaker 3: are you kid?
Speaker 1: This is this is fucking glorious. Oh my god. I
Speaker 1: loved her and I loved that movie. That movie were
Speaker 1: so good. Alway thought it should have been The Showgirls too.
Speaker 1: But maybe it's time. I don't know, Maybe it's time.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 2: Hey, listen, if we've learned anything, it's to believe. We
Speaker 2: can believe in the showgust Tea, come on.
Speaker 1: We can believe in it.
Speaker 3: But you know, this world is selfish, just well selfish.
Speaker 2: I don't know if there's one thing listen, there's so
Speaker 2: much going on in the world, and I think you
Speaker 2: and I can agree.
Speaker 1: The most important thing we need is showgust Tea. I mean,
Speaker 1: let's go in and pitch it. Fucking I mean like.
Speaker 3: They will be like Brett, unless we have so many
Speaker 3: other things that you can do together, and you want
Speaker 3: to fucking do show Girls and we're like yes, yeah, motherfucker,
Speaker 3: that's it, or we will yes, it show goes too.
Speaker 1: We're leaving town. Oh we fucking quit this business.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we're with this business and we're gonna just sit
Speaker 2: smoking with by Leslie's pool, which is apparently such a
Speaker 2: good pool.
Speaker 1: Let's just take it in to heaven. This is the
Speaker 1: this is the life.
Speaker 3: It's a heat it it's a heated salt pool.
Speaker 1: Fuck yeah, okay, one hundred and two. Listen.
Speaker 2: I'm quite happy to take this gamble because if they
Speaker 2: say this is when when either we're making sure it
Speaker 2: goes too or we're living by that book.
Speaker 1: What is the.
Speaker 2: Film that you used to love but you've watched it
Speaker 2: recently and you've got oh no, I don't like this anymore.
Speaker 1: Perhaps you've changed. Might not be the films fat Oh.
Speaker 3: Fuck damn, I forgot what it was that I just
Speaker 3: recently watched, And I was just like oh damn, that
Speaker 3: movie is not as good as I thought it was.
Speaker 3: Oh fucking I bought it and everything, and I was
Speaker 3: just like, damn it. Shit been quick and it wasn't
Speaker 3: as good as I thought. No, heavy Metal was it
Speaker 3: will always be good. Heavy Metal was still good. I
Speaker 3: can't remember what it was, but I remember it just
Speaker 3: happened to damn it. I wish I can remember what
Speaker 3: it was, because I was just like, damn that shit.
Speaker 3: Wouldn't that shit wouldn't.
Speaker 1: I showed it.
Speaker 3: I showed it to someone, Yo, this movie, and then
Speaker 3: we was watching it and I was It's like, yeah,
Speaker 3: this might not have been as good as I thought.
Speaker 1: That's horrible. I can't remember what it is. It's gonna
Speaker 1: come to me because I bought it and everything. We
Speaker 1: can go back to.
Speaker 2: It'll come to it. What is the film that means
Speaker 2: the most to you? Not necessarily the film itself is good,
Speaker 2: but the experience you had seeing the film will always
Speaker 2: make it special to you.
Speaker 1: Ooh, there's a couple of movies just like that, Happy Gilmore.
Speaker 3: Happy gil Moore used to be my life like because
Speaker 3: I thought he was so funny. Everything he did in
Speaker 3: that movie was hilarious. So we would watch it every
Speaker 3: Friday night. I worked at Roscos Chicken and Wild Folks.
Speaker 3: We would finish at twelve and we would come to
Speaker 3: the house Munkel Joint and watch Happy Gilmore. We knew
Speaker 3: like Happy Gilmore was just like a happy That's where
Speaker 3: my happy place was.
Speaker 1: Happy Gilmore.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Watermelon Man, and I actually rewrote Watermelon Man. Watermelon
Speaker 3: Man was about a white man that turned black and
Speaker 3: it's just one of the great greatest And I rewrote
Speaker 3: that movie.
Speaker 2: So yeah that what do you mean you rewrite it
Speaker 2: like you've got a remake of it.
Speaker 1: I wrote it to where a white woman turns into me.
Speaker 3: I actually want the lady who plays the lead and
Speaker 3: ted Lassa I can.
Speaker 1: Never remember, brilliant.
Speaker 3: Yes, I want her to play the white woman and
Speaker 3: she turns into me.
Speaker 1: That would be great.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but you know, the industry scared to do a
Speaker 3: movie like that, which we need a movie like that
Speaker 3: right now, you know what I'm saying. So but yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: I love that. I love that movie because it's really
Speaker 3: a lesson of walking in someone else's shoes.
Speaker 1: And I really.
Speaker 3: Think that white people need to walk on black people's shoes.
Speaker 3: Black people need to walk up white people's shoes. That
Speaker 3: makes any sense. It's just like we need to experience
Speaker 3: each other. All race just need to experience each other's ship.
Speaker 3: So then we could stop fucking gaslighting each other because
Speaker 3: that's what we're doing.
Speaker 1: We just gaslight each other. At this point. No one's
Speaker 1: solving shit. We just gaslight in each other.
Speaker 2: I think this is the film to save humanity, and
Speaker 2: I think, what do I need to do?
Speaker 1: Tell Hannah Leslie, guy's a movie called Watermelon Man. Let's
Speaker 1: fucking make it. Okay, let's do it. Okay, we're doing that.
Speaker 2: But we're in the meeting and they're going, hang on,
Speaker 2: we love this, and we go, yeah, yeah, I know
Speaker 2: you love it, but we're doing showgus too first, or
Speaker 2: we walked.
Speaker 1: Oh what ship? Why you ain't said at the beginning
Speaker 1: of the meeting.
Speaker 2: You're coming here with Hannah Wonning him and Leslie Jones.
Speaker 2: You did this whole thing really interesting pitch, and then
Speaker 2: you tell me this was all the rus to get
Speaker 2: shows too. Yeah, okayry.
Speaker 1: Fuck it, because I know show girls.
Speaker 2: What is the film that you most relate to? What's
Speaker 2: the film he saw? You're like, that's me, that is
Speaker 2: could be the character could be the vibe any anything.
Speaker 3: Will we go word anything will be God word color,
Speaker 3: purple color, purple jumping Jack Flash. I was like, if
Speaker 3: that's not fucking me, I don't know who the fuck
Speaker 3: it is. I mean we talked, me and Whoopy talking
Speaker 3: about that ship all the time, and I was like, dude,
Speaker 3: every time you did a movie, I was like, that's me.
Speaker 1: That's me. You know what's the with the nun distract
Speaker 1: distract sisterct me anything Whoopy did? I was like, that's me,
Speaker 1: that's me.
Speaker 2: Okay, perfect answer, Lensey Jones. I'm teeing this up because
Speaker 2: you you haven't seen the homeworks. I just know that
Speaker 2: this comes. You know, this is where everyone gets asked this,
Speaker 2: what's what's the sexiest film you've ever seen?
Speaker 1: Oh? Damn? I know, you know I thought of something.
Speaker 1: I thought of something that I was like, last they
Speaker 1: do that?
Speaker 2: Well, let me say this so you know what comes
Speaker 2: next after you answer your sexiest There is a subcategory
Speaker 2: which is traveling bonus worrying. Why don's a film you
Speaker 2: found arousing you weren't sure you should?
Speaker 1: Maybe what is your next? But then I'm gonna go
Speaker 1: ahead and say human Noise from the deep?
Speaker 2: What the what the fuck is humanoids from the deep?
Speaker 1: You've never seen human oise from the deep.
Speaker 3: That ship was a horror fucking porn. It was a
Speaker 3: horror porn. It was monsters that came out of the
Speaker 3: water and just started fucking women and apparently only grabbed
Speaker 3: the white women, so it was it was only white women.
Speaker 1: They were racist too, And I just.
Speaker 3: Remember thinking, oh, my god, is that what sex looks like? Whoa, whoa,
Speaker 3: because they was just raw dogging them on the beach.
Speaker 1: Just wow.
Speaker 3: And then at the end of the movie, the fucking
Speaker 3: humanoid monster would pop out of their stomach.
Speaker 1: It was fucking scary.
Speaker 2: So that's your troubling why I know? So I did
Speaker 2: immediately onto my list of things I desperately need to say.
Speaker 1: But what's your what's your sexist? You have no? Oh ship? Oh?
Speaker 3: Patrick Swayzey fucking Roadhouse m m m true.
Speaker 1: He was so goddamn fine in that movie, Oh my god.
Speaker 1: And Roadhouse. Yes, him and Sam Elliott child Oh Sam Elliott,
Speaker 1: sam Elliott classy choice. He had that long hair and
Speaker 1: that bad knee. I was like, that's the man for me,
Speaker 1: right there. How's how's it?
Speaker 2: I love you on the first day. How's your knee?
Speaker 2: It's pretty good. This isn't gonna work for me.
Speaker 1: Do you have all your miniscus? How's your right? Yes? Yeah?
Speaker 1: What shit? What is oo? God?
Speaker 3: That is some funny shit. I think I'm laughing. You
Speaker 3: got me laughing, like motherfucker. This is so fun I mean,
Speaker 3: we're racing for it.
Speaker 2: What is the what is objectively the greatest film of
Speaker 2: all time? It might not be your favorite film, but
Speaker 2: it's the greatest. It's the pinnacle of movies. Aliens come,
Speaker 2: they go, what cinema?
Speaker 1: You guys? This?
Speaker 3: Oh see, there's so many that's like that. Oh man,
Speaker 3: I mean Citizen K. I know people think it's a long,
Speaker 3: boring movie, but that shit.
Speaker 1: Was a masterpiece. Good That shit was a fucking masterpiece.
Speaker 3: And then for it all to end, for him to
Speaker 3: be fucking crying about a fucking sleigh. It's just the
Speaker 3: epitome of just you can't you could be too fucking rich,
Speaker 3: you could be too fucking rich sometimes Godfather except for
Speaker 3: Godfather three. I know everybody like I did not like
Speaker 3: Godfather three. I'm sorry. I love you, Andy Garcia, but
Speaker 3: I fucking hated Godfather three. I hated it. It just
Speaker 3: it felt like it was just made just because they
Speaker 3: was like, we need a Godfather three, but Godfather one
Speaker 3: and two, Scarface, these these these are just such great
Speaker 3: movies to me because they just was suck. They were
Speaker 3: written so well, they were acted so well. You know
Speaker 3: what I'm saying, TUTSI, I know that sounds crazy, TUTSI
Speaker 3: Kramer versus Kramer.
Speaker 1: I mean ship like that.
Speaker 3: It's just that just has that element of biting, fucking dialogue.
Speaker 1: It's just like they don't write it like that no more,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: Yeah, all right, I'm gonna give you what was your
Speaker 2: first one, your first toys before k first Citizen? Because
Speaker 2: you're right, Sitsan Kane is not boring. It looks like
Speaker 2: it will be, but it's not.
Speaker 1: It's very good. It's very good. Yeah.
Speaker 2: What is the film that you could or have watched
Speaker 2: the most over and over again?
Speaker 1: Is it Grace?
Speaker 3: They probably have to be Blues Brother or Grease okay yeah,
Speaker 3: or Happy Gilmore.
Speaker 1: One of those three are like and that's pretty sad.
Speaker 1: You must have worked with Adam Sunday right.
Speaker 3: Like every time we got to work together, our schedules
Speaker 3: was kind of fucked up.
Speaker 1: So but we've met. We definitely met. Have you told him?
Speaker 3: I've definitely looked. Oh yeah, he because I know. I
Speaker 3: lost my fucking mind when I met him. I literally
Speaker 3: just started quoting the lines from the movie and he
Speaker 3: just looked at me and he was like, how.
Speaker 1: Many times have you watched that movie? Like fifty? Sometimes? Fuck?
Speaker 1: I know.
Speaker 3: And I met Shooter in an audition and he was
Speaker 3: hilarious because I didn't even get to go into the
Speaker 3: audition because I was out there.
Speaker 1: Going shoot out shoot, I was doing all his lines.
Speaker 1: He was dying. He was like, you know, you got
Speaker 1: to go in down the edition. I was like, fuck
Speaker 1: that audition. He's great, He's very great. He's fucking he's
Speaker 1: a great actor. Everything he always plays just really funny,
Speaker 1: really really hilarious.
Speaker 2: Man, or unlesslie, the question coming up is a negative.
Speaker 2: To be negative too long, So let's just deal with it.
Speaker 2: What's the worst film you've ever seen?
Speaker 3: You know, I don't know if I call the worst
Speaker 3: films because I do analyze the fuck out of a
Speaker 3: film when I finished watching it, but I analyze it
Speaker 3: the next day. It's hard for me to call the
Speaker 3: film worse. I just go, how could that film have
Speaker 3: been better?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying, because you know, people go
Speaker 3: on set and they work, and you know, they really
Speaker 3: hope that it comes out good, but you know, sometimes
Speaker 3: it don't.
Speaker 1: I'm trying to think of a movie that I really
Speaker 1: did not like. Hmm.
Speaker 3: That's hard to say because it's it's like I said,
Speaker 3: I don't really call any movie a bad movie. I
Speaker 3: just say I might have been directed bad. I didn't't
Speaker 3: cast that right, I didn't like to make up on that.
Speaker 3: I can't think of anyone right off the top of
Speaker 3: my head.
Speaker 1: Then I love and respect you for it.
Speaker 2: I think I feel the same way about as in
Speaker 2: I think nine films are made with love, as in
Speaker 2: it made with hope at least at least like everyone
Speaker 2: with hope.
Speaker 3: See it, especially if you know the process of trying
Speaker 3: to get a movie on that. I just like, you
Speaker 3: just know that they work their ass off and then
Speaker 3: something happening in the fucking editing room that the shit
Speaker 3: didn't go right or whatever.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 2: The only films that I sort of object to, I think,
Speaker 2: if I had to ask this question, I'm not going
Speaker 2: to name them, but if this helps is when I've
Speaker 2: seen films where I like, I don't like the I
Speaker 2: guess message of this film, Like I'm like, why did
Speaker 2: you want to make this?
Speaker 1: Like this is a horrible thing? Powder? Okay, I just
Speaker 1: said that Powder. I didn't.
Speaker 3: I understood what he was trying to do because it
Speaker 3: was some on some Edward scissor hand shit.
Speaker 1: But it was weird. It was weird, and you can't
Speaker 1: get the message with that weird shit. Like it was
Speaker 1: too weird. It was I understood what he was doing,
Speaker 1: but I was like, feels weird? Fair enough. I think
Speaker 1: that's the one that just came off the top of
Speaker 1: my head. I take it. What about now?
Speaker 2: In comedy, you're very funny, But what is the film
Speaker 2: that made you laugh the most?
Speaker 1: And is it? Have we done it that laugh the most? God?
Speaker 3: You know, anything Mail Brooks, Mail Brooks, anything like that,
Speaker 3: you know, the little rascals, I mean, little shit like that.
Speaker 1: I laugh at I laugh at movement.
Speaker 3: I love action shit, you know, I love people falling
Speaker 3: over shit and you know, slipping on bananas and shit
Speaker 3: like that. Like that shit makes me laugh, like I don't.
Speaker 3: I saw Holiday Switch last night. Holiday Switch is a
Speaker 3: new movie that's out with Jennifer Gardner and can't think
Speaker 3: and Helm's and he did this thing where because they
Speaker 3: all switched and the little boys in his body and
Speaker 3: he couldn't run. I was crying laughing because he was
Speaker 3: like my niece, my niega. Shit like that just makes
Speaker 3: me just father fuck out laughing. I love movies like that.
Speaker 1: So it's so many. I mean, it's so many movies
Speaker 1: that are like that.
Speaker 2: Anything with Jerry Lewis, Yeah, Jerry Lewis, he has never
Speaker 2: come up on this on this show.
Speaker 3: What Jerry Lewis is like fucking man. Him and Dean
Speaker 3: David was just so fucking funny to me. Jerry Lewis
Speaker 3: was just very funny. Cara Burnett, Lucy Allball, anything, Lucid Ball,
Speaker 3: whenever she would do a movie with her husband. Oh
Speaker 3: my god, the movie with the trailer, Oh my god,
Speaker 3: just like anything like that.
Speaker 1: I just love Goofy shit. I love Goofy Shit, love it.
Speaker 3: Oh Porky's, so I would say, Porky's, Porky's.
Speaker 1: The Porky series.
Speaker 3: Has literally made me throw up laughing sometimes, especially like
Speaker 3: the sex scenes and the scenes with Missus Butter Butter Rooth.
Speaker 1: The butterfucker somewhere. Her name was miss Bruce Faker or something.
Speaker 1: I don't know what it was, but it was that
Speaker 1: that movie.
Speaker 3: I would have to say, probably when I was young,
Speaker 3: I laughed a lot because it was just immature.
Speaker 1: It was just immature.
Speaker 2: All right, this is gonna look weird to you because
Speaker 2: you don't know the show.
Speaker 1: But just be with me. Okay, do do do do
Speaker 1: do do do do do do do do do do
Speaker 1: do do do little little do do do do Do
Speaker 1: Do do do dooo do do do do do do
Speaker 1: do do do Welcome to the Patreon section. Why did
Speaker 1: you just have a stroke? Right? Have a stroke on
Speaker 1: a goddamn pocket?
Speaker 2: What do Welcome to the Exclusive members only section vipas
Speaker 2: you know, okay, welcome.
Speaker 1: Would you like a drink? Yeah, but like a joint?
Speaker 1: I don't drink, but okay, get you a joint. Now?
Speaker 2: What is the film that changed your perspective on something?
Speaker 2: You felt a certain way about something and then you
Speaker 2: saw this film and you felt differently?
Speaker 1: Oh fuck yeah, oh wow.
Speaker 3: If I don't think it necessarily was a film as
Speaker 3: much as it was a documentary about the royal family.
Speaker 3: Like I didn't like the guy what's the guy the
Speaker 3: son they had that that was with Princess Diana.
Speaker 1: Prince Charles King. I didn't really like him.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I didn't like him, but uh, the Crown made
Speaker 3: me have some sympathy for him.
Speaker 1: That's interesting.
Speaker 3: I mean that there was an episode of the Crown
Speaker 3: that made me go, oh, okay, if this is accurate,
Speaker 3: then okay that that dude, it's not as bad as
Speaker 3: I thought.
Speaker 1: You wait a minute, let me better, let me think,
Speaker 1: let me I know, I got to think.
Speaker 3: About film that changed my perspective, and I know I
Speaker 3: know the answer.
Speaker 1: Damn. I wish I had knew, because I would have
Speaker 1: did the homework. Because a film that.
Speaker 3: Gave me perspective on something that made me change my mind. Right,
Speaker 3: I'm probably anything with Whoopi gold World, Probably any anything
Speaker 3: with Demzel perspective, Damn, that is good.
Speaker 1: I don't have one that's coming to mind. That's okay,
Speaker 1: give me an example. Maybe, Well it's how people interpret it.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 2: There's like some people see I didn't know, like a
Speaker 2: big historical drama, and they go, oh my god, I
Speaker 2: had never thought about that issue or that thing. But
Speaker 2: someone once answered on this, like the first time they
Speaker 2: saw a bad film, they were like, oh, I guess
Speaker 2: it made them realize that things are made, and it
Speaker 2: may change the perspective on how a film is made
Speaker 2: because they realize, oh, it doesn't know what just happen.
Speaker 1: You have to you know it can be interpret Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I would think probably all of the Ghostbuster movie
Speaker 3: because being part of the Ghostbusters series, seeing how shit
Speaker 3: was made, it did change my perspective on like how
Speaker 3: they choose movies or how they choose what gets to
Speaker 3: go into a movie.
Speaker 1: Oh can you say more? What do you mean? Like,
Speaker 1: well as in what you shot? But what was Yeah?
Speaker 1: Tell me?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I say it all the time. And I even
Speaker 3: put this in my book. If we would have put
Speaker 3: out the movie that we actually shot instead of the
Speaker 3: movie that they edited, we would got a lot better
Speaker 3: response to that movie. There was a lot of action
Speaker 3: taken out of it. There was a lot of scenes
Speaker 3: that were taken that connected the care just together. There
Speaker 3: was a lot of special effects that they didn't put in,
Speaker 3: and we're like, it's a Ghostbuster movie that has ghosts,
Speaker 3: so y'all should have known that special effects was gonna
Speaker 3: have to fucking play a part in it.
Speaker 1: And there was a scene.
Speaker 3: I put it like this, there's a scene that's not
Speaker 3: in that movie that if it was in that movie,
Speaker 3: that shit would have got some love. There's a scene
Speaker 3: where Chris Ham's work is standing on top of the
Speaker 3: movie theater and he's possessed by this evil ghost. And
Speaker 3: I don't know if you remember Michael Williams. He passed away,
Speaker 3: but he was in that movie. So the whole scene
Speaker 3: was that he possessed all of the FBI agents and
Speaker 3: all the police people and made them start dancing. Now,
Speaker 3: Michael choreographed this whole thing. It was a whole thing
Speaker 3: do the whole day. We came out to watch them
Speaker 3: do this thing. It was like fifty soldiers and they
Speaker 3: all was doing like a Michael Jackson thriller type thing.
Speaker 3: It was seriously, I hope that I pray that if
Speaker 3: you if this comes out, that they talk that they
Speaker 3: just go ahead and release the scene because it's one
Speaker 3: of the best scenes ever done.
Speaker 1: And it didn't get into the movie.
Speaker 3: And Chris hems Hymnsworth it's on the top of the
Speaker 3: roof and he's doing his hands and he's making them
Speaker 3: dance and they are just like it's just so good.
Speaker 1: It's so good and then they all freeze.
Speaker 3: It's so fucking good and it wasn't in the movie,
Speaker 3: and it's like, I think that was the biggest question
Speaker 3: I asked them, was like, how much y'all cut that
Speaker 3: scene out? That is one of the best That scene
Speaker 3: They couldn't afford the special effects, which didn't make no
Speaker 3: fucking sense. They just didn't want to spend it on
Speaker 3: They had already to me, they had already gave up
Speaker 3: on this movie because people was already responding with all
Speaker 3: that can't be girl Ghostbusters and you got a bunch
Speaker 3: of dumb people that like, oh, why would they replace
Speaker 3: the Ghostbusters with women? We had all that shit going on,
Speaker 3: so they got scared. They got scared, which to me
Speaker 3: broke my heart because I go, people don't know what
Speaker 3: the fuck they want, Like, that's why we're entertainers. That's
Speaker 3: why I'm a comedian. I know what you're gonna laugh at.
Speaker 3: You don't. That's why I'm professional. That's why we're professionals.
Speaker 3: We fucking know what's gonna go out there. And it's
Speaker 3: just they gave up on us. They gave us on
Speaker 3: their movie.
Speaker 1: And it to me, like, right now, if this. If
Speaker 1: that movie was.
Speaker 3: Made, it would be such a fucking triumph. People will
Speaker 3: be like, oh, weren't Ghostbusters. But when we made it,
Speaker 3: nobody was feeling like that.
Speaker 1: It just it just.
Speaker 3: Made me really just sad about our whole society. It
Speaker 3: made me go, God, damn, So massages, misogyny really does live.
Speaker 1: That's fucking stupid.
Speaker 3: Like, I mean, these I'm talking about It was coming
Speaker 3: from men who have daughters.
Speaker 1: So you're like, so, are you telling your daughter that
Speaker 1: she can't be? Shit? Like, are you telling her she
Speaker 1: can't be? Like?
Speaker 3: What if your daughter came up to you and said,
Speaker 3: I want to be a ghostbuster? You telling me that
Speaker 3: you're gonna tell your daughter, no, girls can't be ghostbusters?
Speaker 1: What the fuck is wrong with you? Like if you're
Speaker 1: talking about frustration to the next level, that right, there
Speaker 1: was frustration.
Speaker 2: Yeah, man, I'm really sorry to hit that. I'm interesting.
Speaker 2: It's interesting you say it because I liked that film.
Speaker 2: But I watched that film and it felt like watching it,
Speaker 2: I was like, there are things in it where it
Speaker 2: feels disconnected. It feels like a film that has been
Speaker 2: edited to fuck and that stuff has been taken out
Speaker 2: of it, and there's like lots of nice stuff and
Speaker 2: everyone's doing great things in it, but it's like, it
Speaker 2: looks like a film that has.
Speaker 1: Been that they just put a bunch of scenes together.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and if they had ten more minutes of explain,
Speaker 3: Like there was a scene that showed you why the
Speaker 3: characters Melissa and Christian were friends. There was a scene
Speaker 3: that showed that. There was a scene that showed you know,
Speaker 3: the connection of it. There were so many scenes that
Speaker 3: was cut out that we were like, yeah, they're trying
Speaker 3: to figure out how to fuck these four girls he
Speaker 3: became friends and how to fuck this TUF Yeah, because.
Speaker 1: I didn't put it in there.
Speaker 3: So yeah, that was a movie right there that changed
Speaker 3: my perspective on on how they make films out here.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Ah, well that is a very sad and interesting story.
Speaker 2: I'm sorry for that, Leslie.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. No, I'm disappointing for you. I'm really angry. Yeah.
Speaker 3: You know what I wish, I wish they were just
Speaker 3: and they can do it. They could just release a
Speaker 3: director's cut. That's all it. They got the ship. The
Speaker 3: only thing they gotta do is just they have it.
Speaker 3: We shot it. Only thing they have to do is
Speaker 3: just be brave enough to release it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, listen, we're adding that to the list. When
Speaker 2: we go into that meeting, and when they say, okay, guys, listen,
Speaker 2: we will we will release guys person. We go on
Speaker 2: the condition do we make show Gus too first? And
Speaker 2: they go, Jesus Christ, you tricked us again, says they're.
Speaker 1: Gonna be like, do not take a meeting with Bretta
Speaker 1: Les fucking worse?
Speaker 2: That are fucking worse they did. This is such a
Speaker 2: passionate play for releasing. We said yes and then they
Speaker 2: said no.
Speaker 3: As how the fun did we go from Ghostbuster to
Speaker 3: show Girls?
Speaker 1: This is just not natural? What is the best opening
Speaker 1: to a film? Best opening?
Speaker 2: God?
Speaker 1: This is such great question, Oh my god.
Speaker 3: And I just don't have the answers for him because
Speaker 3: it's just like my brain ain't working fast enough.
Speaker 1: Damn.
Speaker 3: The greatest opening to a movie ship everything, let me
Speaker 3: see everything? Oh happy to give Moore has a great opening.
Speaker 3: Jumping Jack Flash. Jumping Jack Flash is a great opening
Speaker 3: because she she gets up and she turns on that
Speaker 3: music and it's fucking great. It's not coming to me,
Speaker 3: but I bet you I'm have all the answers for
Speaker 3: you tonight.
Speaker 2: That'd be great. That's perfect. That's when we need them.
Speaker 2: What is the best what is the best ending? To
Speaker 2: You should just text me late and I'll be like, good.
Speaker 3: Oh shit, the best ending? Fuck that for real? I
Speaker 3: know I got an answer to that, because there's there's
Speaker 3: been some some Indians the movies that I be like,
Speaker 3: oh that shit ended great, uh fuck, and it's just
Speaker 3: not coming to me. It's not coming to me. There's
Speaker 3: so many great indings. But I hate when the movie
Speaker 3: ends with a question. I don't like when movies end
Speaker 3: where you're like, did the motherfucker lived?
Speaker 1: What? I hate them.
Speaker 3: I hate them type of movies, and I want those
Speaker 3: directors to be beaten with a bag of director books
Speaker 3: because fuck that. Don't do that to the people unless
Speaker 3: you're gonna have another part too or something. I hate
Speaker 3: movies that end where I gotta guess what happened?
Speaker 1: Yeah, so, what's so? What's your unsaid?
Speaker 3: Any movie where Godzilla has to destroy the city?
Speaker 1: Love it? Love that. I love when Gozilla lives at
Speaker 1: the end, and love that. I love when King Kong
Speaker 1: lives at that.
Speaker 3: I love all of those type of movies where they
Speaker 3: just beat the shit out of humans. And then they
Speaker 3: just go away. My favorite shit, my favorite shit. I
Speaker 3: like the movies where the humans get killed. I know
Speaker 3: that's fucked up, but.
Speaker 2: I know listen, you you like humans just getting killed
Speaker 2: and fucked by aliens of.
Speaker 1: Humanoids. That adeep has a great ended. It's not happy
Speaker 1: at all.
Speaker 3: Wow, it's it's some bullshit.
Speaker 1: It's some real bullshit, you know. What's so funny? And
Speaker 1: we were talking about Exorses.
Speaker 3: There's a movie called Abby that was done before the Exorses,
Speaker 3: and to this day, I swear I know that the
Speaker 3: people from Exorus.
Speaker 1: Stole that fucking idea from Abby.
Speaker 3: Abby was about a black woman who gets possessed, right,
Speaker 3: but you have to go see this movie.
Speaker 1: Okay, so the.
Speaker 3: Guy who plays Blackla is the preacher in this movie. Right,
Speaker 3: So this woman gets possessed and she just fucks every
Speaker 3: dude to death, like she fucks them to.
Speaker 1: Death, like they I want to see this yet.
Speaker 3: So I know this because the ship was the same
Speaker 3: way she was possessed. He had to come in there
Speaker 3: doing Exorcist all. The ship was scary, but it's scary
Speaker 3: as fuck, though, dude, it's scary as her.
Speaker 1: Ship out of all of it. She just like she
Speaker 1: demon fucked them like, I mean, the exercis sounds like
Speaker 1: I've been with it.
Speaker 2: With the fun bits taken out, I'm like, they're ruined
Speaker 2: a That's what the tag line should have been, they
Speaker 2: ruined heavy day.
Speaker 3: You know what's so funny? I just realized that I
Speaker 3: have so many films in my head. It's hard to
Speaker 3: go through the library.
Speaker 1: Of them all.
Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying, because like I'm gonna be
Speaker 3: thinking about these questions you asked me.
Speaker 1: I like, fuck, why you ain't say that?
Speaker 2: Fuck?
Speaker 1: You knew that.
Speaker 2: Listen, well, there's a secret. One day we'll do a secret.
Speaker 2: We'll do a resurrection and you can you can have
Speaker 2: a bit of preparation for that. But tell me this,
Speaker 2: what's your favorite film?
Speaker 1: Damn? I knew you was gonna ask me that.
Speaker 3: It's it's hard to call a favorite film because I
Speaker 3: love them all.
Speaker 1: I love them all. Shit. I would probably have to.
Speaker 3: Say anything with Will We Go WRO, but I have
Speaker 3: to Lady Sings the Blues is one of my favorites. Mahogany.
Speaker 3: I mean, I like old movies. You know, Let's do
Speaker 3: it again? You know, anything with Richard Pryor Which way
Speaker 3: is up. Which way is up? Was the movie that
Speaker 3: I think I showed somebody and I was like, that.
Speaker 1: As good as I thought it was gonna be, it's
Speaker 1: a little disconjunction, like it was.
Speaker 3: It was funny, but it was like, oh, why did
Speaker 3: you do that cut there?
Speaker 1: Oh that's a terrible The Wiz too.
Speaker 3: If you rewatch the Wiz, you go, what the fuck
Speaker 3: was up with the camera angles?
Speaker 1: Get a close up? What the fuck? Get a close up? Like?
Speaker 3: You know, But my favorite film, it would have to
Speaker 3: be one of the old ones, you know, just you know,
Speaker 3: I think all the way back to Buster Keaton. Buster
Speaker 3: Keaton used to do a lot of movies that was
Speaker 3: just fucking insanely awesome. It's hard to call a favorite
Speaker 3: film because I love movies too much, because they're all
Speaker 3: my favorite.
Speaker 1: I have to because is there somebody gonna kill me?
Speaker 1: The man on the toilet with directionit he I'm paying him,
Speaker 1: he better not fucking raise no hand to me.
Speaker 2: Oh oh no, he's killing me lovingly with his penis.
Speaker 1: That's the way I want to die. That's the way
Speaker 1: I want to die. For sure.
Speaker 3: Ship with your prior I would probably have you know,
Speaker 3: it's not a movie it's a concert with your prior's
Speaker 3: concert like.
Speaker 2: That was a movie directly that wasn't released in cinemas.
Speaker 3: He has a red shirt. He has a red shirt
Speaker 3: and black pants on. It's the thing that changed my life.
Speaker 3: It changed my life. It changed everything in my life.
Speaker 3: I really just I had an era of comedy when
Speaker 3: I saw that. The first time I saw that, I
Speaker 3: was like, first of all, this man knows everything about
Speaker 3: my life and he's making it funny.
Speaker 1: Like how does this guy know me? That's what I
Speaker 1: felt like.
Speaker 3: I was like, why why am I laughing on the
Speaker 3: inside of my stomach? Like I was laughing from a
Speaker 3: different place, And I was like, how is he doing that?
Speaker 3: How is he doing that with his words like that
Speaker 3: shit is fucking me up? Like and I from that
Speaker 3: day on, I was like, I want to do that.
Speaker 1: I want to do that.
Speaker 3: I want to be funny like that, like I want
Speaker 3: people to laugh from the bottom of their stomach, And
Speaker 3: that's where he had me laughing from.
Speaker 1: So did you ever meet him? Did you ever get
Speaker 1: to meet him?
Speaker 3: I got to meet him right maybe six or seven
Speaker 3: months before after he got diagnosed with I think I
Speaker 3: think he had Parkinson's or yeah. So he came to
Speaker 3: He came to the comedy store and everybody was like, yo,
Speaker 3: did you know Richard Pryor's in an audience? And nobody
Speaker 3: was saying shit. Everybody was just going up performing and
Speaker 3: nobody was saying shit. So I was like, oh, I'm
Speaker 3: not gonna I went up on stage and I said, yo,
Speaker 3: I don't know if y'all know, but the motherfucking legends
Speaker 3: in the house, fucking Richard Pryor's here.
Speaker 1: And everybody's like what, everybody's going crazy?
Speaker 3: And I did what I did was I reperformed my
Speaker 3: favorite joke by him, which is about a switch tree,
Speaker 3: about how he would see a switch tree and he
Speaker 3: would jump out the car and be like, you're not
Speaker 3: gonna look on nobody else's And I did that joke
Speaker 3: and he he you could see him laughing from the table.
Speaker 3: And down did my set, and then the guy comes
Speaker 3: to the back. He was like, Richie wants to meet you.
Speaker 3: And I was just like like, holy shit. So I
Speaker 3: went to his table and I'm shaking. I'm like shaking,
Speaker 3: and I shook his hand and I didn't realize that
Speaker 3: I was gripping his hand, and I was like, I
Speaker 3: feel like I literally said this. I said, I feel
Speaker 3: like you're passing it on to me, like you're passing
Speaker 3: your power onto me. And he was like, no, bitch,
Speaker 3: you're squeezing my hand really hard. Let go on my
Speaker 3: fucking head. And I just.
Speaker 1: Fell out laughing. I was like, holy shits, like, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: that was me meeting Richard Bryan. That's great.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Leslie, Leslie, you've been wonderful.
Speaker 1: You've been really wonderful.
Speaker 2: However, when you were one hundred years old, the day
Speaker 2: of your one hundredth birthday and you walk into the
Speaker 2: bathroom and there's your young man and he's got a
Speaker 2: cake with a one hundred candles and an erection, and
Speaker 2: he says, baby, it's time, and you go happy birthday,
Speaker 2: and you climb on his penis and you blow out
Speaker 2: the candles, and as.
Speaker 1: You do, the exertion gives you a.
Speaker 2: Heart attack, and this poor poor young man, who is
Speaker 2: very prepared for this, holds you as you die in
Speaker 2: his arms and you fall into a cake in a
Speaker 2: slapstick style that you would enjoy. And then I'm walking
Speaker 2: past the room with a coffin, you know, I'm like.
Speaker 1: What the fuck are you there for? Why are you there?
Speaker 1: I'm just wondering the streets, and why are you wandering around?
Speaker 1: Where's security?
Speaker 2: Well, that's the thing. I was also included in on this.
Speaker 2: The young man tipped me off. He said, listen, I'm
Speaker 2: not gonna know what's do the body. I said, listen,
Speaker 2: I got you covered, so I'm not going to do it.
Speaker 2: And I go, is it done? Yeah, she's dead. I
Speaker 2: come in the buck and I'm like, oh shit, there's
Speaker 2: so much cake. And it was a big cake and
Speaker 2: he said, yeah, I'm fucking she's a hundred. We had
Speaker 2: to fit the candles everywhere. That's cake everywhere. I'm like, ah,
Speaker 2: will you help.
Speaker 1: It with the body? Penis away. No, he's still got
Speaker 1: an erection. It's mad.
Speaker 2: He's just not there with directions. I going, man, this
Speaker 2: is uncomfortable with me. Would you put some pants on
Speaker 2: or something? He goes, nah, this is what she wondered.
Speaker 2: It was in the pre wheel and I'm like, she
Speaker 2: did a pre wheel. Okay, so we get you in
Speaker 2: the coffin. But there's cake. Ever, there's so much cake
Speaker 2: that it makes everything bigger than it should be. There's
Speaker 2: no room in this coffin. It's absolutely jammed in there.
Speaker 2: There's only enough room in this coffin for me to
Speaker 2: slip one DVD into the side with you for you
Speaker 2: to take across to the other side. And on the
Speaker 2: other side its movie night every night. What film are
Speaker 2: you taking to show the food in wead Heaven when
Speaker 2: it is your movie night, miss Essie James?
Speaker 1: Oh dam, how mentioned Porter guys Porters was very important?
Speaker 1: You did know?
Speaker 3: There's only one scene. There's one scene in there where
Speaker 3: she screams about her baby's dead. I cry every time
Speaker 3: ship That is fucking torture the same movie because I
Speaker 3: don't like to rewatch movies.
Speaker 2: Everyone else is showing a different film every night. This
Speaker 2: is just when it's your.
Speaker 1: Okay, you're gonna laugh.
Speaker 3: It's between two Reese Witherspoon movies, Freeway or The Freeway
Speaker 3: or the other one where she was, the where she
Speaker 3: was l the college one she.
Speaker 1: Was the.
Speaker 3: It doesn't matter if where I'm at. If that's on TV,
Speaker 3: I watch it. I don't care how many times I've
Speaker 3: seen it. I watched that movie.
Speaker 1: Listen.
Speaker 2: Freeway is great and a niche choice, but I guess
Speaker 2: if you're up there making friends, you're going to take
Speaker 2: legally blind.
Speaker 1: Yes, legally all three of them though, right, Yeah, of
Speaker 1: course you're taking the energy disk set.
Speaker 3: Yes, Damn, I can't believe I picked legally blind. I'm
Speaker 3: gonna be mad about that choice.
Speaker 1: Later.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna be mad. I'm gonna be like, what the fuck?
Speaker 3: Why would you die? I'm gonna be like and tell
Speaker 3: him no, it's.
Speaker 2: This foodie to wake up legally blonde. Leslie, you've been brilliant.
Speaker 2: Is there anything you would like to plug to tell
Speaker 2: people to look out for to watch or listen to it?
Speaker 2: I suggest they come find you doing stand up for starters?
Speaker 2: Anything else?
Speaker 1: Yes, come look at look for me for stand up.
Speaker 3: I have a book out called Leslie Fucking Jones, the
Speaker 3: book and the audio.
Speaker 1: The audio is.
Speaker 3: Definitely different from the book because I wasn't going to
Speaker 3: read my own book.
Speaker 1: What the fuck I know the story?
Speaker 3: So uh, the audio is completely different than the written book.
Speaker 1: So what are you doing? What story? Are you just
Speaker 1: telling different stories on the audio?
Speaker 3: I just picked up the book. They said, okay, you
Speaker 3: got to read the book. So I started reading the
Speaker 3: book and I was like, you guys, this is not
Speaker 3: going to work. Like every time I get to a sentence.
Speaker 3: I go, no, that's not what happened. This is what happened.
Speaker 1: Whoo. You know.
Speaker 3: So I just put the book down and said, hey,
Speaker 3: just keep up with me on where I am in
Speaker 3: the book.
Speaker 1: But I'm just going to tell the stories. So that's great.
Speaker 1: It's it's a really good audiobook. People love it. People
Speaker 1: are inspired by it, which is rather strange.
Speaker 2: But okay, okay, I'm gonna have to do all right, Leslie,
Speaker 2: what's an absolute say?
Speaker 1: How do your book first though? How do your book
Speaker 1: first though? And then read the tree story and then
Speaker 1: read then read the story. Then you're gonna be like, yeah,
Speaker 1: this book is similar.
Speaker 2: But she really exaggerated on that audio. All right, well done,
Speaker 2: thank you for your time. You've been wonderful. I've loved it.
Speaker 2: I have a wonderful death. Oh my god, and I
Speaker 2: hope I see you saying I had so much fun.
Speaker 3: You're absolutely incredible. Thought you was going to be an
Speaker 3: incredible person. You end up being an incredible person. Thank
Speaker 3: you so much. Lesslie, I said, thank you so much,
Speaker 3: so much. But you have a bright future. You need
Speaker 3: to get you some shades, baby, you got a bright future.
Speaker 2: You got God, God blessed let's all right, I'll see
Speaker 2: you for this two pitchs. Thank you for your time. Yes,
Speaker 2: that was episode two hundred seventy nine. Head over to
Speaker 2: the Patreon section at patreon dot com. Forward slash Break
Speaker 2: Golstein for all the extra stuff you get with all
Speaker 2: the episodes. Go to Out for Podcasts, give us a
Speaker 2: five star rating.
Speaker 1: And blah blah blah.
Speaker 2: You know all that stuff, Ondie to keep saying it do.
Speaker 2: I thank you so much to Leslie for being so brilliant.
Speaker 2: Get her book, Leslie fucking Jones. Thank you to Scrubious
Speaker 2: Pip and the Distraction Pieces Network. Thanks to Buddy Peace
Speaker 2: for producing it. Thanks to iHeartMedia and Will Ferrell's Big
Speaker 2: Money Players Network for hosting it. Thanks Adam Richardson for
Speaker 2: the graphics and leads Light Them for the photography. Massive
Speaker 2: shout out to Buddy Peace who puts all this together.
Speaker 2: He's amazing. Happy Christmas to him. Happy Christmas to you
Speaker 2: all for listening. I'm so grateful that you do. I
Speaker 2: hope you're all well. I really hope you have a
Speaker 2: wonderful Christmas and join me next week where I've got
Speaker 2: another fucking brilliant guest.
Speaker 1: So that is it for now.
Speaker 2: In the meantime, have a merry Christmas, and please now
Speaker 2: more than ever, be excellent to each other.
Speaker 1: Mary Christmas, Very Christmas.
Speaker 4: Fast back back brother bast back post out second brothers
Speaker 4: a second brother back last out backs back back back
Speaker 4: the West out second by bus back back back