WEBVTT - CZM Book Club: St. Juju, by Rivers Solomon 0:00:01.680 --> 0:00:10.560 Cool Zone Media book Club book Club book Club. Hello, 0:00:11.000 --> 0:00:15.120 Welcome to cools On Media book Club, the only book club, period, 0:00:15.760 --> 0:00:19.360 the only book club. And this week I have a 0:00:19.400 --> 0:00:26.000 story seeped in the earthy sweet scent of mushrooms and garbage. 0:00:26.440 --> 0:00:29.080 Everyone likes mushrooms and garbage, right, this is a story 0:00:29.120 --> 0:00:33.720 but mushrooms and garbage, because today we are reading Saint 0:00:33.840 --> 0:00:39.400 Juju by the Powerhouse Rivers. Solomon Rivers is most known 0:00:39.440 --> 0:00:43.040 for their haunting and beautiful fantasy horror novels, but today 0:00:43.159 --> 0:00:46.319 we have a far future, utopian short story for you, 0:00:46.960 --> 0:00:51.040 packed full of queer yearning dog girls and a heaping 0:00:51.120 --> 0:00:54.560 portion of fungus and characters coming to terms with the 0:00:54.600 --> 0:00:57.680 reality that violence and impression room much more difficult to 0:00:57.720 --> 0:01:01.920 eradicate than it seems. But also and it's much more 0:01:01.920 --> 0:01:05.840 hopeful than that makes it sound. This story, Saint Juju, 0:01:05.880 --> 0:01:09.520 was originally published in twenty nineteen by The Verge as 0:01:09.600 --> 0:01:12.759 part of their series Better Worlds, which was a science 0:01:12.800 --> 0:01:16.600 fiction series about hope, and it was released with some 0:01:16.959 --> 0:01:20.559 abs of frutally stunning animation of the characters by Alan 0:01:20.640 --> 0:01:25.039 Leaster that I highly recommend checking out. All right, are 0:01:25.080 --> 0:01:28.119 you ready? You'd better be ready. If you're not ready, 0:01:28.200 --> 0:01:30.119 then you're gonna have to pause and do something else 0:01:30.680 --> 0:01:33.440 and come back when you're ready. Are you ready for 0:01:33.600 --> 0:01:38.600 Saint Juju? By River Solomon? The trash garden is stunning 0:01:38.760 --> 0:01:42.080 in the pre dawn morn lit up beneath a bulbous 0:01:42.240 --> 0:01:46.560 ivory moon. Two hundred acres of fungus hills stand between 0:01:46.640 --> 0:01:49.440 us and the edge of the enclave, and the smoky 0:01:49.520 --> 0:01:54.720 fragrance of pink toadstools waits the air with sweet earthiness. 0:01:56.280 --> 0:02:03.280 Enid sniffs, knows, twitching buried inside of mushrooming quiskea comidente. 0:02:03.400 --> 0:02:06.480 There are still several decades worth of trash, and though 0:02:06.520 --> 0:02:11.560 I can't smell it, Enid can. Six foot deep fungus 0:02:11.600 --> 0:02:17.320 covers the rotting bottles, cans, cartons, clothes, wrappers, and broken toys. 0:02:17.919 --> 0:02:21.480 But Enid's a hound mutant. She can smell it all. 0:02:22.240 --> 0:02:24.560 The fungus has been feasting on the refuse of the 0:02:24.600 --> 0:02:27.880 former landfill for over one hundred years, and the scent 0:02:28.000 --> 0:02:30.720 of the old world trash lingers for those with her 0:02:30.760 --> 0:02:35.280 genetic mutation. Do you mind it much? I asked Enid. 0:02:35.760 --> 0:02:39.040 The odor the fungus from the trash gardens is enough 0:02:39.080 --> 0:02:41.720 to feed most of the world, but they seemed a 0:02:41.720 --> 0:02:46.000 bitter sweet phenomenon for the hound mutants. I mean, I 0:02:46.040 --> 0:02:48.840 know it doesn't stink to you, I say, but does 0:02:48.880 --> 0:02:52.760 it remind you of the past? Enid shakes her head, 0:02:53.320 --> 0:02:56.560 the matted bowl cut coils sweeping back and forth over 0:02:56.600 --> 0:03:00.600 her forehead. There's a scar on her left temple, spanning 0:03:00.639 --> 0:03:04.000 down to her left eye and across her cheek, where 0:03:04.040 --> 0:03:06.240 she got swiped by a mountain lion that she was 0:03:06.240 --> 0:03:09.720 trying to spring from a trap. It's the sort of 0:03:09.800 --> 0:03:13.160 story that sounds like a tall tale, a hay geography, 0:03:13.600 --> 0:03:17.920 a myth, the beginning of a heroine's journey. I've been 0:03:17.960 --> 0:03:20.640 reading about the lives of various saints over the last 0:03:20.720 --> 0:03:24.160 year in preparation for my oration to the Enclave, and 0:03:24.280 --> 0:03:26.960 in another time, I think my Enid could have been 0:03:27.040 --> 0:03:30.480 Saint Enid. To avoid the shackles of marriage to a 0:03:30.520 --> 0:03:34.440 horrible noble, she'd commit herself to God and become a nun. 0:03:35.400 --> 0:03:38.800 The noble would demand her chastity anyway, but she'd run 0:03:38.840 --> 0:03:42.280 into a den of lions to escape his horseback riding soldiers. 0:03:43.120 --> 0:03:45.800 The lions would claw her face to forming her, and 0:03:45.880 --> 0:03:50.480 then finally the noble might give up his claims. She'd 0:03:50.480 --> 0:03:54.440 be the patron saint of women with scars. I bite 0:03:54.440 --> 0:03:57.120 the collar of my flannel as Enid and I walk 0:03:57.240 --> 0:04:01.120 the fungus capped ground. Although the focus of my upcoming 0:04:01.160 --> 0:04:05.320 oration revolves around the less savory aspects of traditional belief systems, 0:04:05.920 --> 0:04:08.200 the parts about people like me and Enid and how 0:04:08.240 --> 0:04:11.400 we are sin incarnate, I can see the beauty in 0:04:11.440 --> 0:04:14.640 it too, why people did and still do devote their 0:04:14.680 --> 0:04:19.599 lives to these religions. Enid's nose twitches again, and she 0:04:19.640 --> 0:04:22.880 bites her bottom lip. We shouldn't have taken this route. 0:04:23.480 --> 0:04:25.719 The other ways out of the enclave were longer, but 0:04:25.760 --> 0:04:28.800 they didn't have the same baggage. You sure you are 0:04:28.880 --> 0:04:32.440 right going this way? I ask? That makes Enid stop sniffing. 0:04:33.320 --> 0:04:39.680 I'm fine, She says, yeah. I say. She nods yeah. 0:04:40.080 --> 0:04:42.120 I know it must be hard on these grounds. I 0:04:42.200 --> 0:04:46.800 tell her it's not. She says, must be a little bit. 0:04:46.920 --> 0:04:49.680 I press unable to be a normal fucking person for 0:04:49.720 --> 0:04:52.560 once in my life and let it go. Growing up, 0:04:52.560 --> 0:04:55.279 my older brother always called me a pestering little shit, 0:04:55.720 --> 0:04:59.240 and he's right. Ever needy I poke and poke and 0:04:59.279 --> 0:05:02.080 poke until I poke so hard it's more of a push. 0:05:02.440 --> 0:05:04.880 Suddenly I'm shoving folks out of my life under the 0:05:04.880 --> 0:05:08.760 pretense of having a nice conversation. Not that Enid will 0:05:08.800 --> 0:05:13.080 give into my prodding. I mostly talk to keep myself company. 0:05:13.920 --> 0:05:17.000 If I'm silent, the void of half light will gobble 0:05:17.040 --> 0:05:20.479 me up. Silence likes to feast on folks like me, 0:05:21.279 --> 0:05:25.440 a heady, hot stew of discontent. I can't settle my 0:05:25.560 --> 0:05:28.560 mind when left to my own devices, left alone to 0:05:28.600 --> 0:05:33.400 think wonder, despair, I get feverish and wild. You can 0:05:33.400 --> 0:05:36.359 talk to me about it if you want feelings and shit. 0:05:36.480 --> 0:05:40.880 I mean, I say, I'm good, says Enid. You sure 0:05:41.640 --> 0:05:45.520 don't ask again, She says. Maybe it should sting, but 0:05:45.640 --> 0:05:48.440 it doesn't. Maybe I like to poke to see where 0:05:48.520 --> 0:05:51.000 the end of things are, and life becomes so much 0:05:51.080 --> 0:05:54.839 easier when I do. And do you know what will 0:05:54.880 --> 0:05:59.360 make your life a lot easier, dear listener, that's right, 0:06:00.160 --> 0:06:05.480 it's the products and the services that support this show. 0:06:14.960 --> 0:06:23.239 And we're back skipping shoes tonight was a good idea. 0:06:24.080 --> 0:06:26.799 My feet sink into the flesh of the Kisa Kia 0:06:26.920 --> 0:06:31.120 Commandente mushrooms The feedback is strange but nice, and it 0:06:31.120 --> 0:06:34.200 gives me something to focus on other than Enid. I 0:06:34.240 --> 0:06:36.440 can't tell if she's lying or not if she means 0:06:36.480 --> 0:06:38.240 it when she says it doesn't hurt her to be 0:06:38.279 --> 0:06:40.960 in this place. But maybe I can't let it go, 0:06:41.040 --> 0:06:43.800 because how could it not. This history of the hound 0:06:43.920 --> 0:06:48.760 mutants isn't kind, even that goddamn name. It feels wrong 0:06:48.839 --> 0:06:51.760 to call Enid after a dog, but it's her preferred 0:06:51.839 --> 0:06:56.440 term for folks born with pivicave pathologia. Enid eats metal, 0:06:56.720 --> 0:07:00.400 She eats paper, she eats plastic, she eats trash. She 0:07:00.520 --> 0:07:03.599 has since she was an infant. She came out the womb, 0:07:03.720 --> 0:07:07.719 craving non food stuff. Her body processes it and turns 0:07:07.760 --> 0:07:11.360 it into usable waste. In the old days, before garbage 0:07:11.400 --> 0:07:15.280 eating fungus, pound mutants were rounded up to clear the landfills. 0:07:16.000 --> 0:07:19.240 They sniffed and sought out trash like mutts and the 0:07:19.320 --> 0:07:23.560 names stuck. Being here has to dredge up memories, even 0:07:23.600 --> 0:07:26.280 if they're not her own, even if it all happened 0:07:26.280 --> 0:07:29.520 in a time before she was born. Sometimes I feel 0:07:29.520 --> 0:07:32.240 like that's what must be wrong with me. I'm always 0:07:32.240 --> 0:07:36.880 seeing ghosts hearing things. I call them my figments, but 0:07:37.080 --> 0:07:39.800 maybe they're things from long ago returning from the dead. 0:07:40.440 --> 0:07:45.840 Creeping in Enid's face is indecipherable in the dark, but 0:07:45.960 --> 0:07:49.080 every few moments her eyes blink for too long, or 0:07:49.080 --> 0:07:52.080 she swallows heavily, causing her lips to move and her 0:07:52.120 --> 0:07:56.120 throat to rise and fall. The trash garden is my 0:07:56.120 --> 0:08:00.320 favorite place in the enclave. I offer whenever Enid's near 0:08:00.360 --> 0:08:03.720 and uneasy. Energy springs up in my chest and I've 0:08:03.800 --> 0:08:06.560 just got to talk and talk to get it out 0:08:06.600 --> 0:08:11.160 of me, or it might build up pressure inside explode. 0:08:11.400 --> 0:08:14.119 I've always been a chatterbox, but it's worse around here. 0:08:14.680 --> 0:08:17.240 You wouldn't believe all the hollows I've dug into, the fungus, 0:08:17.840 --> 0:08:22.520 perfect hiding spots to nappen. I know, she says, And yeah, 0:08:22.680 --> 0:08:25.640 I guess I've told her before I was born out here, 0:08:25.680 --> 0:08:30.440 I say, I know, Juju, says Enid. My papa was 0:08:30.480 --> 0:08:33.920 harvesting mushroom for supper when he felt his waters come loose. 0:08:34.080 --> 0:08:38.320 I continue, why. It's like I'm trying to salvage something 0:08:38.320 --> 0:08:40.800 out of this exchange, make this story worth it. But 0:08:40.920 --> 0:08:43.720 all I'm doing is making Enid feel worse and digging 0:08:43.760 --> 0:08:46.960 my hole deeper. He leant up against one of the 0:08:47.000 --> 0:08:51.160 fungus hills, squatted and rested until I came. My other 0:08:51.200 --> 0:08:54.040 Papa wasn't there. He was just waiting and waiting and 0:08:54.080 --> 0:08:56.679 waiting at home for Pops to come home with the mushrooms, 0:08:56.720 --> 0:09:00.680 because he was ready to cook supper. She nods but 0:09:00.720 --> 0:09:04.280 doesn't speak when she leaves. Is this all she'll remember 0:09:04.320 --> 0:09:07.280 of me? The girl whose mouth was a fucking geyser, 0:09:07.720 --> 0:09:10.360 The girl who fidgets, the girl who talks and talks 0:09:10.400 --> 0:09:13.880 and talks to silence the voices, the images, The girl 0:09:13.960 --> 0:09:17.000 who's turned her birth into a fairy tale. Even though 0:09:17.160 --> 0:09:20.200 Enid knows the truth that my papa died out there 0:09:20.200 --> 0:09:23.440 in the field and I almost did too, Born two 0:09:23.440 --> 0:09:28.880 months early and with no hope of medical intervention. Enid 0:09:28.920 --> 0:09:32.560 grabs my hand and squeezes tight enough to hurt, but 0:09:32.600 --> 0:09:35.280 the pressure reins me in. It reminds me that my 0:09:35.320 --> 0:09:38.199 body exists. I don't know why she bothers with a 0:09:38.280 --> 0:09:42.400 thing as untogether as me. I'll visit you whenever I can, 0:09:42.800 --> 0:09:45.400 she says. I nod my head and smile, and it 0:09:45.480 --> 0:09:49.600 hurts my cheeks. For how disingenuous it is. My offer 0:09:49.640 --> 0:09:52.880 to come with still stands, she says, But she knows 0:09:52.920 --> 0:09:55.920 I'm set on staying. The invitation is away. For her 0:09:55.920 --> 0:09:58.640 to be nice without any threat, she'll have to suffer 0:09:58.679 --> 0:10:02.640 the consequences of my co There's a lot I want 0:10:02.679 --> 0:10:05.920 to show you, says Enid, stuff I think you'll love. 0:10:07.440 --> 0:10:09.640 I've lived my whole life on the enclave, I say, 0:10:10.440 --> 0:10:14.199 I'm not as brave as you. Enid's never spent more 0:10:14.240 --> 0:10:16.640 than a few years off and on in the enclaves, 0:10:17.040 --> 0:10:20.360 preferring to travel in packs with others like her. She's 0:10:20.400 --> 0:10:23.640 going back out there tonight. We'll say our goodbyes, then 0:10:23.679 --> 0:10:26.240 walk to the edge of the enclave, and she'll step 0:10:26.280 --> 0:10:29.760 forth into the unpredictable frontier of life outside the enclave. 0:10:31.200 --> 0:10:34.200 Can't pretend it doesn't muck me up inside thinking about 0:10:34.200 --> 0:10:36.720 her leaving me. But what right have I got to 0:10:36.760 --> 0:10:40.720 be angry? The world out there scares me. Open road, 0:10:40.880 --> 0:10:45.280 open field, open forest, the ruins of cities and suburbs, 0:10:45.760 --> 0:10:50.320 wild animals, the same world of the old Saints. The 0:10:50.360 --> 0:10:52.640 past is still out there, waiting for us to make 0:10:52.679 --> 0:10:55.920 what we will of the future. In the Enclave, we 0:10:55.960 --> 0:10:59.160 feed entirely off the fungus and foraged plants and fruit 0:11:00.080 --> 0:11:04.360 out there. They hunt meat. They're vagabonds, chasing good weather, 0:11:04.600 --> 0:11:08.040 good game, good land, never sitting camp for more than 0:11:08.120 --> 0:11:12.080 four or six weeks at a time. Let's just do this, then, 0:11:12.440 --> 0:11:15.840 says Enid. Together, Enid and I climb up our hill, 0:11:15.960 --> 0:11:19.080 the tallest mushroom in the trash garden. This is where 0:11:19.120 --> 0:11:22.440 we'll be together for the last time. We lay on 0:11:22.520 --> 0:11:26.160 its flattened apex. She asks me again if I'm sure 0:11:26.160 --> 0:11:27.840 I won't go with her, and I tell her the 0:11:27.840 --> 0:11:30.600 same thing I did before. I have a life here, 0:11:31.320 --> 0:11:34.960 I have certainty, I have kindness. After my oration, I 0:11:34.960 --> 0:11:38.440 can complete the coming of age. Rites twenty years old, 0:11:38.440 --> 0:11:41.040 I'll be a full fledged adult, able to take on 0:11:41.120 --> 0:11:45.600 more projects, more responsibility, more ways to undo the quietness 0:11:45.600 --> 0:11:49.400 of my mind that sometimes undoes me. It's not fair 0:11:49.480 --> 0:11:52.720 to ask me to leave Paradise. I know, I know, 0:11:53.120 --> 0:11:56.320 she says, sitting next to me. I have a role here. 0:11:57.120 --> 0:12:02.600 I know, she says. It's important. I know. Juju, she says, 0:12:02.640 --> 0:12:06.360 and places her lips to mine so soft. I should 0:12:06.440 --> 0:12:08.840 go with her, just for that, the way she touches me, 0:12:08.920 --> 0:12:14.320 and I dissolve, legs parting unconsciously. They used to think 0:12:14.360 --> 0:12:17.520 it's sin us doing what we're doing now. Putting our 0:12:17.559 --> 0:12:21.160 mouths and our chests and our stomachs together, we writhe 0:12:21.320 --> 0:12:26.040 shameless as dogs, tenderest, wondrous, small, aching, and needy. We 0:12:26.160 --> 0:12:30.800 are this flesh, this pliable, weak flesh. We revel in it. 0:12:31.520 --> 0:12:33.679 I press my growing up into Enids, and we rub 0:12:33.720 --> 0:12:37.320 and rub. She draws her callous thumb along my left cheek, 0:12:37.840 --> 0:12:42.719 nail grazing the freshly buzzed sideburned skin still raw and inflamed. 0:12:43.520 --> 0:12:46.880 My head is bald, too, black from ink to designs, 0:12:47.000 --> 0:12:51.800 but for where my brown skin peeks through. God, you 0:12:51.840 --> 0:12:55.360 feel so good, says Enid. I wish you'd come with me. 0:12:56.320 --> 0:13:00.280 I don't understand it, but I know she means it. Please. Yes. 0:13:01.240 --> 0:13:04.560 Her voice rasps and splinters, and to hear it makes 0:13:04.559 --> 0:13:08.000 my whole body despair. How is it in the moments 0:13:08.040 --> 0:13:12.280 preceding the final throes of fucking, one's body feels so bereft, 0:13:12.320 --> 0:13:16.559 so gluttonous for contact and heat. Someone watching would think 0:13:16.600 --> 0:13:19.120 I'd never been touched at all, for how desperately I'd 0:13:19.200 --> 0:13:21.839 jerk my body to Enid's until we are both spent 0:13:22.600 --> 0:13:26.000 mad with feeling. The bet of fungus we lay on 0:13:26.120 --> 0:13:28.880 is taller than two houses put together, and there's a 0:13:28.880 --> 0:13:32.960 blanket beneath and above us. I can see venus, I 0:13:33.000 --> 0:13:36.440 can see every star. My breath seven slows yet, but 0:13:36.520 --> 0:13:39.360 I don't want them to. Soon as they do, that's 0:13:39.360 --> 0:13:43.600 when I'll remember Enid is leaving me. But do you 0:13:43.840 --> 0:13:48.480 know what, dear listener, will never leave you. The dedicated 0:13:48.640 --> 0:13:53.920 insteadfast deals on this sweet sweet products and services much 0:13:54.360 --> 0:13:58.880 like now, crap, who's that country singer who I really like? Uh, 0:13:59.000 --> 0:14:02.200 I'll be there in the morning. Oh no, this is 0:14:02.320 --> 0:14:04.680 terribly embarrassing. I listen to this man all the time. 0:14:05.120 --> 0:14:08.839 Towns van ZANDT. Much like towns van ZANDT. They will 0:14:08.880 --> 0:14:20.600 be there in the morning, these products and services. There's ads, 0:14:23.720 --> 0:14:31.800 and we're back, Juju. Enid asks. Her voice is gentler 0:14:31.840 --> 0:14:34.600 that I'm used to hearing it. She scratches her head, 0:14:34.640 --> 0:14:38.200 fingers catching in the mass of short, tight curls. The 0:14:38.240 --> 0:14:40.720 sun's coming up and her face is beautiful in the light. 0:14:41.440 --> 0:14:44.280 She's always got a scowl on, like she's thinking deeply, 0:14:44.760 --> 0:14:49.520 and it makes her thick eyebrows furrow. Juju come back 0:14:49.560 --> 0:14:54.000 to me. She grabs my shoulder and jostles me a little. Sorry. 0:14:54.120 --> 0:14:58.040 I say, don't be sorry. She says, you're thinking about 0:14:58.080 --> 0:15:01.080 all that stuff you've been reading again. I know it's 0:15:01.120 --> 0:15:03.480 how you do things here, but I think it's stupid 0:15:03.640 --> 0:15:07.640 that oration everything. What's your topic again? What'd they call it? 0:15:08.000 --> 0:15:13.600 Call us homosexual? I say, And you're still having nightmares 0:15:13.640 --> 0:15:18.520 about everything you've read? Shrugged my shoulders. Enid doesn't know 0:15:18.560 --> 0:15:20.000 what it's like to live in a place where you 0:15:20.000 --> 0:15:23.560 are responsible to other people. I get the coming of 0:15:23.600 --> 0:15:26.520 age rights, I really do. It's tradition to present a 0:15:26.560 --> 0:15:29.600 moral argument to the enclave so that they can decide 0:15:29.640 --> 0:15:32.600 if you're ready to handle the intense questioning of the tribunal. 0:15:33.320 --> 0:15:36.240 They're the ones to ultimately determine if your moral reasoning 0:15:36.280 --> 0:15:39.360 and sense of compassion is developed enough to undergo the rights. 0:15:40.240 --> 0:15:43.480 Usually the topic isn't something particularly relevant to our lives now, 0:15:43.960 --> 0:15:47.560 but was of note at a moment in history. The 0:15:47.600 --> 0:15:51.600 past year, I've composed of triestis deconstructing several arguments that 0:15:51.680 --> 0:15:56.080 called women like me sinners, degenerates. And Enid's not wrong. 0:15:56.400 --> 0:15:58.400 It is weighed on me, but that doesn't mean it 0:15:58.440 --> 0:16:03.200 isn't worth doing. Sun's pretty much up, says Enid. She 0:16:03.240 --> 0:16:05.760 slips her old leather jacket back on and buttons up 0:16:05.760 --> 0:16:09.040 her jeans, looking even cooler now than she had when 0:16:09.080 --> 0:16:12.360 she first come to Milkwood enclave. A gun on her back, 0:16:12.480 --> 0:16:16.080 a crow on her shoulder, a limping coyote at her side, 0:16:16.960 --> 0:16:20.760 Saint Enid. I start to get ready too, buttoning my 0:16:20.800 --> 0:16:24.320 flannel up, but Enid holds out her hand. You don't 0:16:24.360 --> 0:16:26.040 have to walk me to the edge. I can get 0:16:26.040 --> 0:16:29.560 there on my own. This was our goodbye, wasn't it. 0:16:30.840 --> 0:16:33.240 She's already walking down the mushroom hill before I can 0:16:33.240 --> 0:16:38.600 properly respond. Wait, I say, I slip and slide, chasing 0:16:38.720 --> 0:16:42.920 after her, feet unsteady against the dew wet fungus. I 0:16:42.960 --> 0:16:45.720 want to go with her so bad, more than anything. 0:16:47.000 --> 0:16:49.480 Tell me it's good out there, I call after her. 0:16:50.040 --> 0:16:53.320 I don't even have a bag. She doesn't either, she 0:16:53.360 --> 0:16:57.280 doesn't need one. How can I live like that without certainty? 0:16:57.480 --> 0:17:01.880 Tell me it's as good or better than Milkwood? I demand? It. 0:17:01.880 --> 0:17:03.480 Makes her stop, and I catch up to her at 0:17:03.520 --> 0:17:07.360 the bottom of the hill, about five hundred miles from here. 0:17:07.359 --> 0:17:11.080 There's an enclave called the Sacred Grounds. Sometimes they hire 0:17:11.119 --> 0:17:13.800 out howl mutants to clear out forest and make new 0:17:13.840 --> 0:17:19.479 farms in exchange for food and other items. Bored, that's wrong, 0:17:19.760 --> 0:17:22.760 I say, sounding more scandalized than I mean too. I 0:17:22.800 --> 0:17:26.200 always worry Enid will think I sound too innocent, too unscathed. 0:17:26.720 --> 0:17:29.520 She's right, isn't she. That's why I want to stay here. 0:17:30.240 --> 0:17:32.480 I'm just hearing about all this shit now. Since Enid 0:17:32.480 --> 0:17:35.640 came to Milkwood half a year ago, I've never left 0:17:35.680 --> 0:17:38.680 the six hundred acres that make up my enclave. Had 0:17:38.840 --> 0:17:41.480 Enid never come here, I might think the world perfect 0:17:41.480 --> 0:17:45.200 outside what I read in history books. They're not supposed 0:17:45.200 --> 0:17:47.560 to do that. Did you try and stop them, I 0:17:47.600 --> 0:17:51.200 asked Enid. Hiring hound mutants for eating scrap is degrading, 0:17:51.560 --> 0:17:54.440 but clearing forest land to make farms that could get 0:17:54.480 --> 0:17:58.200 someone in real trouble. The United Federations of Indigenous Nations 0:17:58.240 --> 0:18:01.720 manages land use, and the enclaves who leased the territories 0:18:01.720 --> 0:18:04.720 from them are expected to abide by the stipulations. No 0:18:04.800 --> 0:18:09.720 money changes hands, but it's understood who rules. It wasn't 0:18:09.760 --> 0:18:12.880 a great time for me, says Enid. I was lonely. 0:18:13.400 --> 0:18:15.840 There were about five hundred other hound mutantes. They are 0:18:15.840 --> 0:18:18.200 doing the same work, and it felt good to be 0:18:18.280 --> 0:18:21.600 close to so many of my kind. Anyway, there was 0:18:21.640 --> 0:18:24.480 this girl I was fooling around with. One night, these 0:18:24.480 --> 0:18:28.239 two women from the enclave discovered us, Margaret May and 0:18:28.359 --> 0:18:31.520 Jessa I think it was they threw bleach on our 0:18:31.600 --> 0:18:35.960 naked bodies, on our genitals. I tried not to gasp, 0:18:36.040 --> 0:18:39.359 as Enid speaks. Now. That got me properly vexed, and 0:18:39.400 --> 0:18:42.160 I punched Margaret May, who seemed to be the ringleader, 0:18:42.200 --> 0:18:45.879 and broke her nose. Blood spurted out her nostrils like 0:18:45.920 --> 0:18:50.720 a red fire cracker. I back handed that woman Jessa too. Afterward, 0:18:50.760 --> 0:18:53.160 I hoisted up the girl I was with, I can't 0:18:53.200 --> 0:18:55.840 remember her name, and took her into the creek and 0:18:55.880 --> 0:18:58.320 we washed off until we were clean and no longer 0:18:58.359 --> 0:19:02.320 a flame. I dig my hands into the pockets my 0:19:02.400 --> 0:19:05.080 old Jens. I don't know how I could ever reason 0:19:05.119 --> 0:19:07.359 with people who do the kinds of things those women 0:19:07.440 --> 0:19:10.960 did to my Enid and to her lover. What you 0:19:10.960 --> 0:19:15.320 do next? I ask? I left all us dog girls, left, 0:19:15.359 --> 0:19:18.119 every single one of them, and when we left, there 0:19:18.119 --> 0:19:21.879 were places to go to. Enid says, I can't stop 0:19:21.920 --> 0:19:24.640 shaking my head. I slapped my forehead with the heel 0:19:24.680 --> 0:19:27.959 of my hand over and over. But the enclaves are 0:19:27.960 --> 0:19:31.879 no guarantee of safety, Enid says, doesn't she know? I 0:19:32.000 --> 0:19:35.000 know that. Of course I fucking do. But at least 0:19:35.000 --> 0:19:37.119 here there was a system that tried to address it. 0:19:38.600 --> 0:19:40.919 You don't think they had folks at the sacred ground 0:19:41.040 --> 0:19:44.119 stand up and make fancy arguments. It sounded like the truth, 0:19:44.800 --> 0:19:47.480 Enid goes on. She grabs my wrist, but I tear 0:19:47.520 --> 0:19:50.200 it from her hands. Part of the reason I even 0:19:50.240 --> 0:19:52.880 told you that story is because it stood out. It's 0:19:52.920 --> 0:19:56.919 not common. She insists. Most places I've been to are 0:19:57.000 --> 0:20:01.120 better than that. There's some places better than here. Perfection 0:20:01.280 --> 0:20:05.720 isn't a reasonable demand of living things. Once upon a time, 0:20:05.760 --> 0:20:09.359 I could imagine evil as something theoretical. I didn't like 0:20:09.400 --> 0:20:11.720 to think of it as real and breathing and near. 0:20:12.359 --> 0:20:15.480 They shouldn't have assigned you this topic, says Enid. Your 0:20:15.480 --> 0:20:19.359 life isn't some goddamn thesis. I understand the impulse to 0:20:19.400 --> 0:20:23.280 award adulthood based on an intellectualized notion of moral rigor, 0:20:23.760 --> 0:20:26.040 but it is flawed to believe it is a proper 0:20:26.040 --> 0:20:33.159 shield against wrongdoing, wrong thinking, And what is nothing? Nothing is? 0:20:33.760 --> 0:20:37.000 I shake all over admitting it to myself. The ghosts 0:20:37.040 --> 0:20:39.560 of other times shouldn't haunt me like they do. But 0:20:39.640 --> 0:20:42.480 what does it say about humankind that for generations and 0:20:42.600 --> 0:20:46.120 generations tyranny reigned? Who am I to think we can 0:20:46.200 --> 0:20:49.720 gird against it? Bigotry is taught. I know that, but 0:20:49.760 --> 0:20:52.080 I wish it weren't so easily learned. I wish humans 0:20:52.080 --> 0:20:55.320 had to fail safe against it. All this time, I've 0:20:55.359 --> 0:20:58.000 been thinking I was afraid of life outside the enclaves 0:20:58.000 --> 0:21:00.840 with Enid, But maybe I'm afraid of life here too, 0:21:01.520 --> 0:21:04.919 life everywhere. Afraid of people on what we're capable of. 0:21:05.680 --> 0:21:08.159 Maybe not in this time, but if it happened in another. 0:21:08.800 --> 0:21:10.600 I want to go back in time and deliver my 0:21:10.640 --> 0:21:13.760 oration to them. But something makes me think that make 0:21:13.840 --> 0:21:17.760 no difference at all. My heart beats and beats lead 0:21:17.840 --> 0:21:20.719 in my chest. It's an exhilarating thought to know that 0:21:20.760 --> 0:21:24.280 nothing I say could matter. If such a thing were possible, 0:21:24.680 --> 0:21:27.320 I'd be sorely tempted to build a time machine, to 0:21:27.400 --> 0:21:30.879 go before people of the past and say, let us 0:21:31.080 --> 0:21:37.080 Dike's fucking rut. We're all part god born raging. Let 0:21:37.200 --> 0:21:39.760 us who wish to be soothed by this intimacy be 0:21:39.880 --> 0:21:42.880 soothed by it. I don't know why I'm so raw, 0:21:43.000 --> 0:21:46.440 so goddamn afraid you'd think my life is a tragedy 0:21:46.480 --> 0:21:49.280 to hear me talk about my loving home, my loving 0:21:49.280 --> 0:21:52.800 community of kinfolk. The world as I understand it is 0:21:52.840 --> 0:21:55.600 in a state of healing. Maybe I'm too much of 0:21:55.600 --> 0:21:58.560 the sort who loves to pick a scab. I tear 0:21:58.600 --> 0:22:00.960 a wat of fungus from the ground and smell it, 0:22:01.400 --> 0:22:03.400 seeing if I can get a whiff of stink from 0:22:03.400 --> 0:22:07.400 the world before the world of garbage. There's nothing left 0:22:07.440 --> 0:22:10.480 of it. It just smells like food. Like in no 0:22:10.600 --> 0:22:13.119 time at all, it will be soup simmering on the 0:22:13.200 --> 0:22:17.439 stove with butter and milk. I'm coming with you, I 0:22:17.520 --> 0:22:20.560 tell Enid. Her smile in that moment is all the 0:22:20.600 --> 0:22:22.720 assurance that there is more good than bad in the 0:22:22.760 --> 0:22:26.359 world I need. I follow her through the trash garden, 0:22:26.800 --> 0:22:33.560 out the enclave, into the world the end. Welcome back, 0:22:33.600 --> 0:22:38.040 dear listener. Okay, this feels like I know we say 0:22:38.080 --> 0:22:40.240 that there's a lot of stories this is a quintessential 0:22:40.240 --> 0:22:44.280 book club story because we love running stories about climate 0:22:44.320 --> 0:22:48.280 adaptation and finding hope in a fucked up world. Hazel, 0:22:48.359 --> 0:22:51.119 who helps behind the scenes, has to say about this story. 0:22:52.760 --> 0:22:55.200 Rivers has never been an author who pulls their punches, 0:22:55.560 --> 0:22:57.720 and I love their commitment to pulling on the frayed 0:22:57.840 --> 0:23:00.600 edges of the utopia they've crafted to see what I furls. 0:23:01.200 --> 0:23:04.000 There are no easy answers or politics of convenience in 0:23:04.040 --> 0:23:06.960 this story, but Rivers really manages to sell me on 0:23:07.040 --> 0:23:09.720 how that might be a source of hope. If violence 0:23:09.720 --> 0:23:13.200 and bigotry will always exist despite our better angels, where 0:23:13.200 --> 0:23:16.120 do our responsibilities lie? What does it mean to still 0:23:16.160 --> 0:23:20.119 embrace joy and desire? Okay? And then what I have 0:23:20.160 --> 0:23:21.560 to say about it? What do I have to say 0:23:21.600 --> 0:23:24.880 about it? Well, the way that I chose to live 0:23:24.920 --> 0:23:29.280 my life in my twenties and early thirties is the 0:23:29.359 --> 0:23:32.119 kind of person who's usually not the main character but 0:23:32.240 --> 0:23:37.680 instead Enid right. That was much more how I chose 0:23:37.720 --> 0:23:40.479 to live for a very long time. So it's always 0:23:40.480 --> 0:23:44.040 interesting to read stories that are from the perspective of 0:23:44.160 --> 0:23:49.399 talking to the vagabond, the wanderer, the In some ways, 0:23:49.280 --> 0:23:51.760 it kind of the Manipixie dream girl, but not really, 0:23:51.800 --> 0:23:55.360 and I actually think queerness kind of undermines that trope anyway, 0:23:55.440 --> 0:23:58.680 in a good way, and so it's just always interesting 0:23:58.720 --> 0:24:03.080 to me yet to read, especially like a loving portrayal 0:24:03.119 --> 0:24:05.399 of that. Like I don't know if you've seen the 0:24:05.440 --> 0:24:08.560 movie or read the book Foxfire, particularly like the Angelina 0:24:08.640 --> 0:24:11.480 Julie version of this movie very influential to me in 0:24:11.520 --> 0:24:15.920 the nineties, and even know the more recent one from 0:24:15.960 --> 0:24:19.080 the mid odds or the early twenty tens whatever is 0:24:19.160 --> 0:24:21.639 much more accurate to the original book Foxfire, which I 0:24:21.640 --> 0:24:25.399 haven't read to be honest. Okay, anyway, this idea of 0:24:25.400 --> 0:24:27.960 the hitchhiking vagabond who comes through especially kind of a 0:24:28.000 --> 0:24:30.639 queer one who kind of like shows everyone in the 0:24:30.640 --> 0:24:32.719 world and is like cool and has a leather jacket 0:24:32.760 --> 0:24:36.439 and stuff like that, Right, I like that character, and 0:24:36.480 --> 0:24:39.640 I specifically like the character in this sense where the 0:24:39.680 --> 0:24:45.040