1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:12,239 Speaker 1: M from grandmothers who whispered in their baby girl is. 2 00:00:13,400 --> 00:00:16,920 Speaker 1: Two fathers on dimly lit street corners, instructing young soldiers 3 00:00:16,920 --> 00:00:20,959 Speaker 1: to always keep their eyes open. You be queen, you 4 00:00:21,040 --> 00:00:24,239 Speaker 1: were fired. You will pass through centuries on the hands 5 00:00:24,280 --> 00:00:28,720 Speaker 1: of your daughters. They called you wisdom. Proverbs on the 6 00:00:28,760 --> 00:00:32,320 Speaker 1: backs of diamond eyed school children who grew into hymnals 7 00:00:32,320 --> 00:00:37,200 Speaker 1: recited by amethyst holding urban philosophers who recited neighborhood commandments 8 00:00:37,200 --> 00:00:40,680 Speaker 1: out of the windows of restored Alchemedo chariots. To keep 9 00:00:40,680 --> 00:00:46,040 Speaker 1: the warmth of their blood. Be wise, be smart, being black, 10 00:00:46,080 --> 00:00:50,720 Speaker 1: opal Brown courts, bloodstone and prayer. Be every form of 11 00:00:50,880 --> 00:00:57,760 Speaker 1: jim see king, told, scribe, scribe, told son, son, told wife, wife, 12 00:00:57,800 --> 00:01:02,720 Speaker 1: told her daughter, and daughter told the ass that you 13 00:01:02,760 --> 00:01:13,800 Speaker 1: would come. They said, come. Welcome back to another episode 14 00:01:13,800 --> 00:01:17,200 Speaker 1: of the Dropping Gems podcast. I'm Debbie Brown. This is 15 00:01:17,240 --> 00:01:20,800 Speaker 1: your soft place to land. We dive all up into 16 00:01:21,560 --> 00:01:25,120 Speaker 1: higher consciousness. Make it tangible, make it applicable, make it 17 00:01:25,440 --> 00:01:29,199 Speaker 1: livable in our day to day lives. So excited about 18 00:01:29,240 --> 00:01:33,440 Speaker 1: this show. Oh my goodness, we did a show swap 19 00:01:34,160 --> 00:01:37,640 Speaker 1: of I am so excited for today to share with 20 00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:41,479 Speaker 1: you a really amazing woman who it has been such 21 00:01:41,520 --> 00:01:44,120 Speaker 1: a pleasure to be in conversation with her on this 22 00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:49,360 Speaker 1: show and on her show. Today's guest is the legendary 23 00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:54,040 Speaker 1: Michelle Williams. Michelle Williams is a Grammy Award winning recording 24 00:01:54,160 --> 00:01:57,120 Speaker 1: artist and actress who rose to stardom as a member 25 00:01:57,120 --> 00:01:59,400 Speaker 1: of the R and B make A group Destiny's Child, 26 00:01:59,800 --> 00:02:03,240 Speaker 1: and most recently appeared as the Butterfly on Fox hit 27 00:02:03,320 --> 00:02:07,400 Speaker 1: series The Mass Singer. Her successful solo albums include Heart 28 00:02:07,480 --> 00:02:12,000 Speaker 1: to Yours, Do You Know, Unexpected, which spawned the internationally 29 00:02:12,080 --> 00:02:15,320 Speaker 1: charted single We Break the Dawn, and Journey to Freedom, 30 00:02:15,360 --> 00:02:18,880 Speaker 1: which featured groupmates Beyonce and Kelly Rowland on the singles 31 00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:23,560 Speaker 1: say Yes. Also a talented actress, she debuted on Broadway 32 00:02:23,639 --> 00:02:28,239 Speaker 1: in Aida and starred in productions of The Color Purple, Chicago, 33 00:02:28,639 --> 00:02:32,720 Speaker 1: What My Husband Doesn't Know, and Feila. Michelle is passionate 34 00:02:32,760 --> 00:02:35,799 Speaker 1: about raising awareness about mental health and about sharing the 35 00:02:35,919 --> 00:02:38,520 Speaker 1: lesson she has learned in her own struggle with depression. 36 00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:42,760 Speaker 1: She also has an incredibly popular and celebrated podcast on 37 00:02:42,800 --> 00:02:46,399 Speaker 1: the Black Effects Network called Checking in which I am 38 00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:50,440 Speaker 1: a very happy guest on as well, and she has 39 00:02:50,520 --> 00:02:54,240 Speaker 1: a book, Checking in How getting real about depression. Save 40 00:02:54,360 --> 00:02:58,160 Speaker 1: my life and can save yours. That is in stores now. 41 00:02:58,960 --> 00:03:02,480 Speaker 1: So so so happy, happy, happy to share this beautiful 42 00:03:02,480 --> 00:03:05,720 Speaker 1: women here on this show and to dive in deep. 43 00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:11,520 Speaker 1: Welcome to the show, Michelle Williams. Thank you for having me. Debbie. 44 00:03:11,520 --> 00:03:14,519 Speaker 1: It's so good to be with you today, so good 45 00:03:14,560 --> 00:03:16,680 Speaker 1: to be with you. And we are doing a show 46 00:03:16,800 --> 00:03:19,400 Speaker 1: switch and so I don't even know how I can 47 00:03:19,480 --> 00:03:23,120 Speaker 1: top the conversation we just had on your show, but 48 00:03:23,200 --> 00:03:28,480 Speaker 1: I'm going to try. I didn't talk to my lipstick off. 49 00:03:28,520 --> 00:03:32,200 Speaker 1: I don't even handle lips. It is what it is. 50 00:03:32,240 --> 00:03:35,640 Speaker 1: But y'all, Debbie was on she checked in with us 51 00:03:35,680 --> 00:03:39,960 Speaker 1: today and tears were flowing and it was just a 52 00:03:40,040 --> 00:03:43,120 Speaker 1: good release, a great healing conversation. And so we didn't 53 00:03:43,120 --> 00:03:46,280 Speaker 1: even go on top it. We're just gonna continue it. 54 00:03:47,520 --> 00:03:50,560 Speaker 1: And you know, I feel like I got a taste 55 00:03:50,840 --> 00:03:56,320 Speaker 1: of like the immense power and connection to the divine 56 00:03:56,360 --> 00:04:00,280 Speaker 1: that exists within your body. Like it was from someone 57 00:04:00,320 --> 00:04:03,040 Speaker 1: from Afar that has been a fan of yours for 58 00:04:03,120 --> 00:04:06,560 Speaker 1: so many years and a deep admirer of all of 59 00:04:06,600 --> 00:04:09,080 Speaker 1: the work that you have done in the mental health 60 00:04:09,120 --> 00:04:12,520 Speaker 1: space and with your show checking in you know, I've 61 00:04:12,560 --> 00:04:15,440 Speaker 1: always seen you as a woman who was deeply connected 62 00:04:15,480 --> 00:04:18,560 Speaker 1: to herself and God. But then to have that conversation 63 00:04:18,600 --> 00:04:20,760 Speaker 1: and kind of share that energy, I was I was 64 00:04:20,839 --> 00:04:23,839 Speaker 1: just wow. I said, Oh, she is a powerhouse inside. 65 00:04:23,839 --> 00:04:29,320 Speaker 1: Who h thank you, thank you. You know, it's when 66 00:04:29,360 --> 00:04:31,760 Speaker 1: you surrender as well, because you can have a whole 67 00:04:31,839 --> 00:04:36,720 Speaker 1: rundown or questions to ask, but you know, I'm just 68 00:04:36,839 --> 00:04:40,279 Speaker 1: responding and asking questions based on the power that's coming 69 00:04:40,360 --> 00:04:45,240 Speaker 1: from you. So you know, and sometimes you can have 70 00:04:45,400 --> 00:04:47,880 Speaker 1: questions and you can tell when it's like Okay, I 71 00:04:47,920 --> 00:04:50,080 Speaker 1: just got to ask this question, and you don't leave 72 00:04:50,240 --> 00:04:53,520 Speaker 1: room for that answer that that other person just to 73 00:04:53,720 --> 00:04:57,080 Speaker 1: extend it and expound on it. To me, that's where 74 00:04:57,120 --> 00:05:01,320 Speaker 1: the power is versus like okay, question one, question to 75 00:05:01,839 --> 00:05:07,440 Speaker 1: question three, it's so sterile and it's not natural. Um, 76 00:05:07,839 --> 00:05:10,360 Speaker 1: and I think we can learn to just be natural. 77 00:05:10,640 --> 00:05:13,479 Speaker 1: Now there's an art. We know, there's an art to 78 00:05:13,720 --> 00:05:15,680 Speaker 1: get in the questions asked that we need to be asked, 79 00:05:15,760 --> 00:05:19,480 Speaker 1: especially okay, especially if someone is promoting a project, a book, 80 00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:23,720 Speaker 1: a course or whatever. It's it's good to respect if 81 00:05:23,720 --> 00:05:30,320 Speaker 1: they're coming on to promote something, but are our world 82 00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:35,320 Speaker 1: is going bonkers right now. Yeah, yeah, Spirit needs room 83 00:05:35,360 --> 00:05:42,160 Speaker 1: to move, Spirit needs moved, Spirit needs space to move permission, 84 00:05:42,279 --> 00:05:45,200 Speaker 1: And sometimes I'd be like, God, don't even wait on 85 00:05:45,279 --> 00:05:49,400 Speaker 1: me to ask permission, Just boom m take me out 86 00:05:49,440 --> 00:05:55,080 Speaker 1: the way and move. You know, we need it. You 87 00:05:55,160 --> 00:05:59,719 Speaker 1: are someone that has really been such a pioneer in 88 00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:03,599 Speaker 1: this space of really speaking their truth and speaking their 89 00:06:03,640 --> 00:06:08,000 Speaker 1: truth from a lens of doing that deeper work, you know, 90 00:06:08,040 --> 00:06:11,719 Speaker 1: And that's something that's that's so hard. We are in 91 00:06:11,800 --> 00:06:14,560 Speaker 1: what I believe is the age of authenticity, and in 92 00:06:14,600 --> 00:06:17,800 Speaker 1: some ways that's hard for people to see because of 93 00:06:17,839 --> 00:06:21,400 Speaker 1: the depth of chaos that is surrounding us on this planet. 94 00:06:23,520 --> 00:06:29,360 Speaker 1: But by authenticity, I mean not not Instagram authenticity, right like, oh, 95 00:06:29,400 --> 00:06:33,240 Speaker 1: I'm keeping it so real, or I'm giving you this curated, 96 00:06:33,360 --> 00:06:36,560 Speaker 1: real look at myself, but authenticity in the sense that 97 00:06:37,520 --> 00:06:42,080 Speaker 1: I'm becoming my full self because I deserve to irregardless 98 00:06:42,120 --> 00:06:45,280 Speaker 1: of who sees it, but by nature of being my 99 00:06:45,360 --> 00:06:50,320 Speaker 1: full self to radiate that out in service to other people. 100 00:06:50,480 --> 00:06:53,960 Speaker 1: And I think you know, you started speaking out really 101 00:06:54,160 --> 00:07:00,680 Speaker 1: early in a way that was so permissible for others 102 00:07:00,880 --> 00:07:04,680 Speaker 1: to become more about ways that you were experienced in 103 00:07:04,720 --> 00:07:07,040 Speaker 1: your life. And I remember, and I related to this 104 00:07:07,120 --> 00:07:09,920 Speaker 1: so much because one of the things that you spoke 105 00:07:09,960 --> 00:07:15,240 Speaker 1: out about a few years ago was recognizing that irregardless 106 00:07:15,280 --> 00:07:18,440 Speaker 1: of how many heights of success you had reached, there 107 00:07:18,520 --> 00:07:22,040 Speaker 1: was this lingering sense of depression. And as someone myself 108 00:07:22,160 --> 00:07:26,040 Speaker 1: who has been a highly functional I was a highly 109 00:07:26,080 --> 00:07:32,040 Speaker 1: functional depressed person since children, you know, hearing you speak 110 00:07:32,080 --> 00:07:35,240 Speaker 1: of that was just so beautiful and it it I 111 00:07:35,280 --> 00:07:38,720 Speaker 1: think it adds so much understanding for people that one 112 00:07:39,040 --> 00:07:41,800 Speaker 1: depression is nothing to be ashamed of. It is part 113 00:07:41,840 --> 00:07:44,760 Speaker 1: of the human condition. It's part of being alive. I 114 00:07:44,760 --> 00:07:47,920 Speaker 1: don't think that there is one being that has ever 115 00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:50,680 Speaker 1: lived that has not had a moment of it, regardless 116 00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:54,040 Speaker 1: of what they may have called it. But how did that, 117 00:07:54,160 --> 00:07:56,840 Speaker 1: as someone who was doing that when people weren't doing that, 118 00:07:57,040 --> 00:08:00,000 Speaker 1: how did it feel to be that radically expressive about 119 00:08:00,120 --> 00:08:05,800 Speaker 1: your journey so early? It was nerve wracking, It was scary. 120 00:08:06,160 --> 00:08:11,000 Speaker 1: Um it first happened in two thousand thirteen. I was 121 00:08:11,760 --> 00:08:14,560 Speaker 1: on a show no I was talking with the journalist 122 00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:18,480 Speaker 1: from the Associated Press. We I was promoting the musical Fellow. 123 00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:23,600 Speaker 1: I was in the musical Failout. We were touring and somehow, Debbie, 124 00:08:23,600 --> 00:08:26,320 Speaker 1: we got on the conversation of depression and I said, well, 125 00:08:26,520 --> 00:08:28,640 Speaker 1: I remember, I can't remember what I said, but I 126 00:08:28,920 --> 00:08:31,440 Speaker 1: told him. I said, I said, last just this time 127 00:08:31,560 --> 00:08:33,640 Speaker 1: last year, you know, I couldn't get off the bed. 128 00:08:33,720 --> 00:08:37,800 Speaker 1: I was depressed for weeks. And I thought it was 129 00:08:37,840 --> 00:08:40,760 Speaker 1: just gonna be a sidebar. I thought he was just 130 00:08:40,760 --> 00:08:44,839 Speaker 1: gonna focus on fell Out, the musical, my involvement in it. 131 00:08:45,480 --> 00:08:48,000 Speaker 1: But it made its way into the interview and I 132 00:08:48,400 --> 00:08:51,480 Speaker 1: and when it came out, I was like, oh my god, 133 00:08:51,520 --> 00:08:53,800 Speaker 1: what did I just say? And he didn't do it 134 00:08:53,840 --> 00:08:56,320 Speaker 1: out of spite or to be rude or you know, 135 00:08:56,600 --> 00:08:58,600 Speaker 1: I didn't even say, hey, this is off the record. 136 00:08:58,760 --> 00:09:01,880 Speaker 1: I'm an open book. But I didn't know that that 137 00:09:01,920 --> 00:09:06,440 Speaker 1: would almost overshadow what I was really there to talk about. 138 00:09:07,720 --> 00:09:11,640 Speaker 1: But Debbie, that's when people started pulling me to the side. 139 00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:15,920 Speaker 1: Grown men started pulling me to the side with tears 140 00:09:15,960 --> 00:09:18,559 Speaker 1: in their eyes, saying, thank you for sharing this. I'm 141 00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:21,040 Speaker 1: not alone. We need more people to speak up. That 142 00:09:21,120 --> 00:09:25,920 Speaker 1: was in two thousand thirteen, so ever since then, I've 143 00:09:25,920 --> 00:09:29,880 Speaker 1: been talking about it. Then, in two thousand eighteen, I 144 00:09:29,920 --> 00:09:32,719 Speaker 1: had to check myself into a treatment facility for depression, 145 00:09:33,559 --> 00:09:36,120 Speaker 1: And for a brief second, I felt like a hypocrite, 146 00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:40,080 Speaker 1: but I was like, no, you're not a hypocrite. You've 147 00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:42,520 Speaker 1: decided to do what you've been telling other people to 148 00:09:42,559 --> 00:09:46,160 Speaker 1: do for years. You would be a hypocrite if you 149 00:09:46,240 --> 00:09:49,280 Speaker 1: knew you needed the help and you didn't get the 150 00:09:49,320 --> 00:09:51,320 Speaker 1: help while you're telling other people to get the help. 151 00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:57,400 Speaker 1: Mm hmm, And yeah, happened so much like the the 152 00:09:57,440 --> 00:10:01,600 Speaker 1: amount of courage that it takes the way, the way 153 00:10:01,640 --> 00:10:03,760 Speaker 1: that I kind of describe it as the amount of 154 00:10:03,760 --> 00:10:07,200 Speaker 1: courage it takes to reprogram yourself, you know, to be 155 00:10:07,320 --> 00:10:10,760 Speaker 1: willing to kind of be open and exposed in new ways, 156 00:10:10,840 --> 00:10:14,440 Speaker 1: with new thoughts, with new ideas, you know, coming from 157 00:10:14,480 --> 00:10:18,439 Speaker 1: your background, which you were you were really raised in 158 00:10:18,480 --> 00:10:23,080 Speaker 1: the church. You know, your faith and your rooting in Christianity. Um, 159 00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:25,600 Speaker 1: it was such a such a gorgeous part of your life, 160 00:10:25,640 --> 00:10:29,040 Speaker 1: but that was your foundational setting. And so often the 161 00:10:29,120 --> 00:10:31,760 Speaker 1: church kind of holds you to just be within its 162 00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:35,400 Speaker 1: walls to connect with yourself, to connect with God. You know, 163 00:10:35,480 --> 00:10:39,599 Speaker 1: I think a lot of our American Black Christian system 164 00:10:39,640 --> 00:10:42,800 Speaker 1: it's all about having a middleman, and it's having someone 165 00:10:42,840 --> 00:10:46,080 Speaker 1: else interpret God for you, and then you talk to 166 00:10:46,160 --> 00:10:50,560 Speaker 1: God through kind of the parameters of that person. But 167 00:10:50,679 --> 00:10:54,120 Speaker 1: you were kind of fearlessly straddling two worlds in a 168 00:10:54,160 --> 00:10:58,400 Speaker 1: time that the door has been busted wide open in 169 00:10:58,440 --> 00:11:01,320 Speaker 1: the pandemic. But when you to yourself in that was 170 00:11:01,480 --> 00:11:05,240 Speaker 1: not a comfortable conversation that people were having. How did 171 00:11:05,280 --> 00:11:09,080 Speaker 1: you exist in that kind of duality? You know, this 172 00:11:09,320 --> 00:11:12,480 Speaker 1: your church life now, your your life of really opening 173 00:11:12,559 --> 00:11:20,199 Speaker 1: up to new thoughts, new theories, new systems of healing. Wow. Um. 174 00:11:20,640 --> 00:11:25,120 Speaker 1: Knowing that there were so many people in the church 175 00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:30,680 Speaker 1: who deal with depression and anxiety or other mental illnesses 176 00:11:31,880 --> 00:11:37,000 Speaker 1: sweeping it on the under the rug. And you know, 177 00:11:37,600 --> 00:11:41,760 Speaker 1: I'm like, well, I've been kind of the person that 178 00:11:41,880 --> 00:11:44,880 Speaker 1: seemed to do add things. So you're in this hugely 179 00:11:44,960 --> 00:11:48,440 Speaker 1: successful group R and B pop and then you go 180 00:11:48,480 --> 00:11:52,640 Speaker 1: and do a gospel album. But I've looked at others before. 181 00:11:52,640 --> 00:11:56,199 Speaker 1: I mean, Whitney Houston, Rita Franklin, Sam could nothing is 182 00:11:56,240 --> 00:12:01,040 Speaker 1: new under the sun. People been swapping and or or 183 00:12:02,960 --> 00:12:06,160 Speaker 1: I refused to just be be over here in one 184 00:12:06,320 --> 00:12:10,520 Speaker 1: cubical of a box. I'm many things. You know. I 185 00:12:10,640 --> 00:12:14,800 Speaker 1: love love, I love fun, but I also love my faith, 186 00:12:14,840 --> 00:12:18,400 Speaker 1: and you know, my spirituality as well. So I was like, 187 00:12:18,600 --> 00:12:21,400 Speaker 1: this has to translate as well into other departments such 188 00:12:21,400 --> 00:12:24,920 Speaker 1: as beings a person of faith. But talking about mental 189 00:12:24,960 --> 00:12:29,160 Speaker 1: health and accepting that me talking about mental health doesn't 190 00:12:29,160 --> 00:12:31,600 Speaker 1: dismiss the spiritual part of me. It doesn't dismiss who 191 00:12:31,640 --> 00:12:34,640 Speaker 1: God is. Me having a therapist does not dismiss my 192 00:12:34,679 --> 00:12:39,800 Speaker 1: prayer life. I go to my therapist and God. They 193 00:12:39,880 --> 00:12:44,560 Speaker 1: both exist. And I think sometimes Debbie, lots of times 194 00:12:44,559 --> 00:12:47,480 Speaker 1: which we're trailblazers and don't even realize it. At the 195 00:12:47,520 --> 00:12:50,360 Speaker 1: time I was desperate for help. I wasn't doing it 196 00:12:50,360 --> 00:12:54,080 Speaker 1: to be the trailblazer. But when we're public figures, parts 197 00:12:54,120 --> 00:12:56,840 Speaker 1: of our life seep out because of what we share 198 00:12:57,240 --> 00:12:59,560 Speaker 1: or by what people find out, and before you know it, 199 00:13:00,600 --> 00:13:04,960 Speaker 1: you're just an involuntary trailblazer that people look up to be. Like, Okay, 200 00:13:05,040 --> 00:13:08,200 Speaker 1: well if she's she's doing this, she's talking about this, 201 00:13:08,280 --> 00:13:11,120 Speaker 1: and she's still alive to tell the stories. She's okay. 202 00:13:11,240 --> 00:13:13,640 Speaker 1: Because Debbie, it was a risk. I thought I'm gonna 203 00:13:13,760 --> 00:13:17,320 Speaker 1: I'm gonna lose my place in the world as far 204 00:13:17,400 --> 00:13:21,840 Speaker 1: as a job bookings, will people think that I'm a 205 00:13:21,880 --> 00:13:26,599 Speaker 1: liability well, people calling me to act again and work, 206 00:13:29,400 --> 00:13:33,480 Speaker 1: you know you it was it was, um, it was 207 00:13:33,880 --> 00:13:37,360 Speaker 1: it was scary. It was scary. But those were worries 208 00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:41,640 Speaker 1: out based. Those were fear based worries. I really needed help, 209 00:13:42,120 --> 00:13:45,600 Speaker 1: and I don't think God would take away my means 210 00:13:45,640 --> 00:13:51,160 Speaker 1: of income because I sincerely needed help. God has always provided. 211 00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:54,199 Speaker 1: And I was like, look at his track record, You're 212 00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:57,200 Speaker 1: gonna be fine. So I was like, bull speed ahead, 213 00:13:57,720 --> 00:14:01,960 Speaker 1: go girl, go get the help you need. To this day, 214 00:14:02,320 --> 00:14:05,559 Speaker 1: I still go to therapy, I still do the work. 215 00:14:07,520 --> 00:14:11,000 Speaker 1: What shifted for you and that that experience because you know, 216 00:14:11,080 --> 00:14:16,120 Speaker 1: I think, um, it's it's rare space to occupy, to 217 00:14:16,280 --> 00:14:18,480 Speaker 1: know what that feeling of kind of walking into the 218 00:14:18,559 --> 00:14:22,640 Speaker 1: unknown in that way is. And you know, for me 219 00:14:22,720 --> 00:14:26,320 Speaker 1: and in my journey, I remember that feeling of just 220 00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:30,680 Speaker 1: ten twelve years ago walking into spaces that were so 221 00:14:30,840 --> 00:14:34,120 Speaker 1: nontraditional and kind of starting my journey of traveling and 222 00:14:34,160 --> 00:14:37,800 Speaker 1: studying and learning from people worlds that I had never 223 00:14:37,840 --> 00:14:39,720 Speaker 1: heard of and that no one else had heard of. 224 00:14:39,960 --> 00:14:44,040 Speaker 1: And you're unlocking these versions of yourself. That's kind of 225 00:14:44,080 --> 00:14:47,440 Speaker 1: accelerating you from the people in your life really quickly. 226 00:14:47,880 --> 00:14:50,440 Speaker 1: You know you're noticing. Perhaps not to speak for you, 227 00:14:50,480 --> 00:14:54,720 Speaker 1: but you might be on an accelerated path where your 228 00:14:54,800 --> 00:14:57,600 Speaker 1: process is just a lot faster than the people in 229 00:14:57,640 --> 00:15:00,240 Speaker 1: your life can keep up with. What did that look 230 00:15:00,320 --> 00:15:04,200 Speaker 1: like for you? Wow? I think this is gonna be 231 00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:09,800 Speaker 1: great for someone else listening. You know, when you are 232 00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:12,600 Speaker 1: on a path of healing and wholeness, it's not to 233 00:15:12,680 --> 00:15:15,360 Speaker 1: become better than anybody else. But I will tell you, 234 00:15:15,640 --> 00:15:19,000 Speaker 1: so many people get used to you and your dysfunction thinking, 235 00:15:20,280 --> 00:15:22,800 Speaker 1: you know, they get used to you being weak or crying. 236 00:15:22,880 --> 00:15:27,040 Speaker 1: They get used to they get used to them being 237 00:15:27,080 --> 00:15:29,120 Speaker 1: able to treat you just a certain way or leave 238 00:15:29,160 --> 00:15:33,080 Speaker 1: you out, or you be passive, aggressive you They're used 239 00:15:33,080 --> 00:15:37,800 Speaker 1: to that. But when you find your strength, you you 240 00:15:37,920 --> 00:15:40,280 Speaker 1: then you almost get painted as the villain. It's like, no, 241 00:15:40,560 --> 00:15:42,600 Speaker 1: I'm healed. You need to get you some and then 242 00:15:42,640 --> 00:15:46,000 Speaker 1: we can come together. You can see, you know, But 243 00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:50,680 Speaker 1: that that thing of especially for family, they get so 244 00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:53,720 Speaker 1: used to the dysfunction, and when you start walking in 245 00:15:53,800 --> 00:15:57,160 Speaker 1: a place of healing, they'll start saying that you're better 246 00:15:57,200 --> 00:16:01,280 Speaker 1: than them. You think you're better than them, And it's like, no, 247 00:16:01,400 --> 00:16:03,120 Speaker 1: I don't think I'm better than you. I just don't 248 00:16:03,120 --> 00:16:06,720 Speaker 1: want to live in this low space anymore. I refuse. 249 00:16:07,560 --> 00:16:10,400 Speaker 1: And so, you know, you want to encourage friends in 250 00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:13,880 Speaker 1: the family to go to therapy get some healing. And 251 00:16:13,920 --> 00:16:17,680 Speaker 1: when I say therapy, therapy just isn't a process tragedy 252 00:16:18,400 --> 00:16:23,640 Speaker 1: mm hmm. You can process, transition or get some answers 253 00:16:23,680 --> 00:16:27,320 Speaker 1: to questions you've always had. So when I say therapy, 254 00:16:27,680 --> 00:16:30,520 Speaker 1: some people get scared. Maybe we can sweeten the word 255 00:16:30,520 --> 00:16:34,440 Speaker 1: of get counseling, I don't know, coaching, whatever you wanna 256 00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:41,920 Speaker 1: call it, you know, um um, spiritual advising. I encourage 257 00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:45,320 Speaker 1: it um so that you won't be thinking so and 258 00:16:45,360 --> 00:16:48,080 Speaker 1: so it thinks that they're better than me. No, they 259 00:16:48,160 --> 00:16:53,280 Speaker 1: got some enlightenment, you know, don't we want to be enlightened. 260 00:16:53,600 --> 00:16:56,280 Speaker 1: I don't want to run along bound and in the 261 00:16:56,440 --> 00:16:59,600 Speaker 1: dark about things. I don't want that. I don't want 262 00:16:59,640 --> 00:17:05,880 Speaker 1: that for friends. I don't want that for family. Ah, 263 00:17:06,080 --> 00:17:11,560 Speaker 1: that is that's so beautiful, Yes, that is, you know 264 00:17:12,720 --> 00:17:18,120 Speaker 1: I think that's sometimes for people that um, for anyone listening. Actually, 265 00:17:18,160 --> 00:17:22,240 Speaker 1: that may feel stuck and maybe you feel like people 266 00:17:22,320 --> 00:17:26,040 Speaker 1: are outgrowing you and you don't know what's happening or 267 00:17:26,080 --> 00:17:29,480 Speaker 1: how to make those shifts and changes. I think that's 268 00:17:29,520 --> 00:17:33,040 Speaker 1: one of the things that is misunderstood. You know, there 269 00:17:33,160 --> 00:17:36,119 Speaker 1: is this thought that, oh, that person thinks they're better 270 00:17:36,200 --> 00:17:39,000 Speaker 1: than me, right, And it's really like, no, this person 271 00:17:39,080 --> 00:17:42,720 Speaker 1: isn't judging you at all. We're hoping that you rise 272 00:17:42,960 --> 00:17:45,919 Speaker 1: like you deserve to rise. And how beautiful for us 273 00:17:46,040 --> 00:17:49,200 Speaker 1: both to be elevated versions of ourselves with each other. 274 00:17:49,920 --> 00:17:53,000 Speaker 1: You know, there there is so much more grace than 275 00:17:53,080 --> 00:17:56,879 Speaker 1: I think people realize when they're judging someone else who's growing, 276 00:17:57,560 --> 00:18:02,000 Speaker 1: and they don't really under stand that this is for 277 00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:05,760 Speaker 1: you too. You know, I'm occupying the space to heal myself, 278 00:18:05,760 --> 00:18:09,520 Speaker 1: but by witnessing me, it's extending healing to you as well. 279 00:18:09,720 --> 00:18:13,280 Speaker 1: Open your heart and so now I know that this 280 00:18:13,440 --> 00:18:16,119 Speaker 1: is something that you would not say. I know you 281 00:18:16,160 --> 00:18:21,760 Speaker 1: want to say that what but when people say so 282 00:18:21,840 --> 00:18:26,880 Speaker 1: and so thinks they're better than us, it's like baby girl, bro, bro, 283 00:18:27,600 --> 00:18:33,639 Speaker 1: I ain't mean thinking about you and then listen right 284 00:18:34,560 --> 00:18:37,840 Speaker 1: in that But like you said, I want you to rise, 285 00:18:37,960 --> 00:18:40,560 Speaker 1: but don't think of me in that manner because I'm 286 00:18:40,560 --> 00:18:47,119 Speaker 1: not thinking of you as less than Yes, yes, okay, 287 00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:51,000 Speaker 1: I'm not we popped on something. I'm not I'm not 288 00:18:51,040 --> 00:18:54,879 Speaker 1: thinking of you as less than more so that I'm 289 00:18:54,920 --> 00:18:57,680 Speaker 1: thinking of you, like when the time is right, because 290 00:18:57,880 --> 00:18:59,800 Speaker 1: now how many of us are guilty, We are walking 291 00:18:59,800 --> 00:19:04,240 Speaker 1: in are healing it. We think we're you know, the expert, 292 00:19:04,320 --> 00:19:08,280 Speaker 1: the psychiatrists, and we want to go assessing and diagnosing people. 293 00:19:08,680 --> 00:19:10,440 Speaker 1: Now that's when you can almost sit in the seat 294 00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:13,240 Speaker 1: of judgment because you're sitting from a place of superiority. 295 00:19:13,800 --> 00:19:17,199 Speaker 1: Now there's a difference where you have some knowledge and 296 00:19:17,200 --> 00:19:19,520 Speaker 1: you're passionate and you're like, I think this could work 297 00:19:19,560 --> 00:19:22,080 Speaker 1: for you since this is what's been helping me. That's 298 00:19:22,119 --> 00:19:25,439 Speaker 1: from a helpful you know. So it's not that i'm 299 00:19:25,560 --> 00:19:28,840 Speaker 1: it's not that I'm not thinking about you. It's just 300 00:19:29,359 --> 00:19:31,600 Speaker 1: it's I'm not thinking about you. It's less there more 301 00:19:31,680 --> 00:19:34,399 Speaker 1: so than I am. One day, when it's appropriate, we're 302 00:19:34,400 --> 00:19:39,160 Speaker 1: gonna have this conversation about what you can do as well, 303 00:19:39,240 --> 00:19:42,560 Speaker 1: because yes, and you never see people and you're like, man, 304 00:19:42,600 --> 00:19:45,199 Speaker 1: if they could just get aware of the psychle that 305 00:19:45,280 --> 00:19:51,119 Speaker 1: there is, they're going to bind. Yeah. Yeah, I remember 306 00:19:51,119 --> 00:19:53,240 Speaker 1: one of my teachers. I've shared this on this show before, 307 00:19:53,840 --> 00:19:57,040 Speaker 1: but one of my teachers, um and a really amazing 308 00:19:57,080 --> 00:20:01,159 Speaker 1: psychologist said, you get to a point of your growth 309 00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:06,919 Speaker 1: and enlightenment where every every interaction becomes about your own 310 00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:10,679 Speaker 1: unbearable compassion. You know, even the person that meets you 311 00:20:10,760 --> 00:20:14,040 Speaker 1: on the street that is potentially greeting you with anger, 312 00:20:14,359 --> 00:20:16,680 Speaker 1: you see the child in them, you see the pain 313 00:20:16,760 --> 00:20:21,440 Speaker 1: in them. You're so removed from taking their harm personally 314 00:20:21,640 --> 00:20:25,159 Speaker 1: that it's just like, oh, wow, you're really hurting. I'm 315 00:20:25,160 --> 00:20:27,960 Speaker 1: gonna be over here because I'm going to protect myself 316 00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:31,120 Speaker 1: in my spirit. But I'm not mad at you. You're 317 00:20:31,240 --> 00:20:34,840 Speaker 1: really hurting. If you could do better, you would, you know, 318 00:20:34,960 --> 00:20:38,879 Speaker 1: And I think what you said is so so so true. 319 00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:41,719 Speaker 1: It's and again you know, with full respect, but I'm 320 00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:44,560 Speaker 1: not thinking about you. You know, the the journey of 321 00:20:44,600 --> 00:20:48,480 Speaker 1: healing and growth, it's about turning your gaze inward. So 322 00:20:48,600 --> 00:20:53,439 Speaker 1: you are actively trying not to compare or judge other people. 323 00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:58,119 Speaker 1: You're trying not to implant yourself in their process. And 324 00:20:58,119 --> 00:21:01,560 Speaker 1: you're just saying, I'm staying in here, I'm cultivating this 325 00:21:03,160 --> 00:21:06,679 Speaker 1: that's so good, and that it's not being selfish. I 326 00:21:06,760 --> 00:21:09,760 Speaker 1: want to be so good for you. I want to 327 00:21:09,760 --> 00:21:13,360 Speaker 1: be so good for this relationship, and so we can 328 00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:15,479 Speaker 1: we can take the power back in that I'm not 329 00:21:15,560 --> 00:21:18,280 Speaker 1: thinking about you. I am should you be in need 330 00:21:18,280 --> 00:21:21,680 Speaker 1: of me, I'm there to the best of my ability 331 00:21:21,720 --> 00:21:25,560 Speaker 1: and capacity. And the boundaries. We talked about boundaries, right, 332 00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:29,040 Speaker 1: and so UM, that's so good that we could that 333 00:21:29,160 --> 00:21:32,719 Speaker 1: we can say is because the heat. Sometimes you know, 334 00:21:32,760 --> 00:21:34,840 Speaker 1: when you're healing, you're not gonna want to answer the phone, 335 00:21:34,880 --> 00:21:36,520 Speaker 1: You're not gonna want to go to the same place 336 00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:38,879 Speaker 1: to you used to. THO that maybe contribute to some 337 00:21:39,040 --> 00:21:43,119 Speaker 1: of your unhealth. Um, it's that, that's the word. Um, 338 00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:49,760 Speaker 1: if you're being not healthy. Um. Our environments dictate our moods. 339 00:21:49,880 --> 00:21:53,919 Speaker 1: Our relationship can dictate moods. Circumstances can dictate mood. And 340 00:21:53,920 --> 00:21:57,960 Speaker 1: we're in control of certain environments and places and conversations 341 00:21:58,000 --> 00:22:05,800 Speaker 1: we choose to have or not to have. I'm just 342 00:22:05,880 --> 00:22:09,159 Speaker 1: saying now, y'all, and I don't say this as the 343 00:22:09,280 --> 00:22:14,960 Speaker 1: expert or the hero. It's just what I've been learning. Well, 344 00:22:14,960 --> 00:22:17,359 Speaker 1: it's what you've been learning. But it's what you've been embodying, 345 00:22:18,040 --> 00:22:21,359 Speaker 1: you know. It's it's not it's not just things you've read, 346 00:22:21,440 --> 00:22:24,879 Speaker 1: it's things you are actively living. It's things that you 347 00:22:24,920 --> 00:22:29,520 Speaker 1: are sharing by you being yourself, and that is I 348 00:22:29,600 --> 00:22:33,400 Speaker 1: believe um the highest honor to God when we move 349 00:22:34,160 --> 00:22:36,840 Speaker 1: past the learnings and we're just like, I'm living this 350 00:22:37,480 --> 00:22:39,480 Speaker 1: and I'm gonna get it right, and I'm gonna get 351 00:22:39,520 --> 00:22:42,919 Speaker 1: it if you sometimes, and I'm gonna keep practicing and 352 00:22:43,000 --> 00:22:47,399 Speaker 1: keep trying. Something that we we touched on a little 353 00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:51,159 Speaker 1: bit on your show checking In that I'd love to 354 00:22:51,200 --> 00:22:57,440 Speaker 1: dive into here with you. You had shared with me Um. 355 00:22:57,440 --> 00:23:00,520 Speaker 1: You know, as someone that grew up with God in 356 00:23:00,560 --> 00:23:03,680 Speaker 1: their lives, I grew up faith based and really had 357 00:23:04,680 --> 00:23:08,679 Speaker 1: understanding of God, depth of connection to God throughout your childhood. 358 00:23:09,280 --> 00:23:13,679 Speaker 1: But then re meeting God the way I heard it, 359 00:23:13,440 --> 00:23:16,440 Speaker 1: it was so beautiful because you think, in any relationship 360 00:23:16,800 --> 00:23:20,960 Speaker 1: for it to evolve, you're gonna have to upgrade the connection. 361 00:23:21,080 --> 00:23:26,400 Speaker 1: You're gonna have to reinterpret, reimagine the depth of intimacy. Right. 362 00:23:26,480 --> 00:23:30,119 Speaker 1: That isn't any relationship that will be lasting. And you 363 00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:32,680 Speaker 1: had shared that there was a point in your journey 364 00:23:32,800 --> 00:23:35,920 Speaker 1: and in your career where you were meeting God kind 365 00:23:35,920 --> 00:23:38,800 Speaker 1: of a new and connecting in different ways, and I'd 366 00:23:38,840 --> 00:23:42,919 Speaker 1: love to hear about that journey. Absolutely. You know, I 367 00:23:42,960 --> 00:23:45,480 Speaker 1: was born and raised in the Church, something that I 368 00:23:45,520 --> 00:23:49,320 Speaker 1: wouldn't trade at all. But to feel like you can 369 00:23:49,400 --> 00:23:52,280 Speaker 1: only have certain experiences inside of the four walls of 370 00:23:52,280 --> 00:23:56,200 Speaker 1: the church is not so, you know. I think there 371 00:23:56,200 --> 00:23:59,000 Speaker 1: were beautiful moments that I've just had with God in 372 00:23:59,080 --> 00:24:03,480 Speaker 1: my living room, in my home, in my bedroom. Heck, 373 00:24:03,560 --> 00:24:07,399 Speaker 1: in the shower. I get so many revelations in the shower. 374 00:24:07,440 --> 00:24:09,080 Speaker 1: I don't know if it's because of the water and 375 00:24:09,119 --> 00:24:16,240 Speaker 1: the nakedness and being vulnerable. You're vulnerable and every way 376 00:24:16,280 --> 00:24:20,679 Speaker 1: at that moment, right, And you know, also in my 377 00:24:20,800 --> 00:24:23,480 Speaker 1: sleep and my dreams, because sometimes we can get to 378 00:24:23,560 --> 00:24:26,840 Speaker 1: running so much. I think God also used the stillness 379 00:24:26,880 --> 00:24:30,880 Speaker 1: of when we're in our sleep and the posture um 380 00:24:30,920 --> 00:24:34,200 Speaker 1: of stillness and rest um. He speaks to me that 381 00:24:34,240 --> 00:24:38,399 Speaker 1: way as well. Um and to me knowing that the church, 382 00:24:38,680 --> 00:24:41,440 Speaker 1: the four walls of the church, I use it as 383 00:24:41,520 --> 00:24:46,840 Speaker 1: community fellowship and being amongst the joy and strength, the 384 00:24:46,880 --> 00:24:50,960 Speaker 1: strengthening you get from being around other believers. Now you 385 00:24:51,080 --> 00:24:54,719 Speaker 1: might not be Christian or wherever you go to as symble, 386 00:24:55,200 --> 00:24:58,679 Speaker 1: you're getting some strength there. Right, there's joy there, at 387 00:24:58,720 --> 00:25:01,520 Speaker 1: least there should be. But I learned that I just 388 00:25:01,560 --> 00:25:05,280 Speaker 1: can't depend on that one gathering on a Sunday for 389 00:25:05,400 --> 00:25:09,159 Speaker 1: everything I need. No, we gotta be uh walking that 390 00:25:09,240 --> 00:25:12,480 Speaker 1: walk Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, because that I 391 00:25:12,520 --> 00:25:15,480 Speaker 1: think that's where the scripture becomes clear, is entering into 392 00:25:15,640 --> 00:25:20,439 Speaker 1: His gates with praise and thanksgiving. You gotta do that 393 00:25:20,520 --> 00:25:24,600 Speaker 1: before you get there. That's gotta be a lifestyle. So 394 00:25:24,680 --> 00:25:28,080 Speaker 1: when you get there, you don't the preacher, the praise 395 00:25:28,080 --> 00:25:30,000 Speaker 1: and worship team ain't gotta pump in prime you you. 396 00:25:30,240 --> 00:25:33,840 Speaker 1: It says enter into his gates with thanksgiving. It didn't 397 00:25:33,840 --> 00:25:36,080 Speaker 1: say sit at the pew and then raise your hands 398 00:25:36,119 --> 00:25:38,040 Speaker 1: and be thankful. It's saying, you are you already got 399 00:25:38,040 --> 00:25:41,080 Speaker 1: to be in the state of gratitude period before you 400 00:25:41,119 --> 00:25:44,600 Speaker 1: get to wherever it is you decide to assemble, you know, 401 00:25:45,320 --> 00:25:49,640 Speaker 1: for praise and worship, enterance gates with thanksgiving. You know, 402 00:25:49,760 --> 00:25:52,960 Speaker 1: so you you're you're already in the state of gratitude. 403 00:25:53,400 --> 00:25:56,840 Speaker 1: So we gotta practice that state of gratitude any time 404 00:25:57,240 --> 00:25:59,879 Speaker 1: during the week, at home, at the bakery, at the 405 00:26:00,040 --> 00:26:02,960 Speaker 1: at fate, you know, being thankful the whole the warm 406 00:26:02,960 --> 00:26:17,600 Speaker 1: cup of appleside. I'm oh staying ground rocking. When you 407 00:26:17,680 --> 00:26:22,760 Speaker 1: started bringing God into your life, new ways and and 408 00:26:22,800 --> 00:26:25,639 Speaker 1: being in relationship even just as like the grown woman 409 00:26:25,800 --> 00:26:30,400 Speaker 1: version of you, like a woman who is applying God's 410 00:26:30,480 --> 00:26:36,159 Speaker 1: love to new facets like romantic love, like career, like creativity. 411 00:26:36,760 --> 00:26:40,600 Speaker 1: You know, we're we're living God in new ways. What 412 00:26:40,680 --> 00:26:43,159 Speaker 1: was that process like of getting to know God in 413 00:26:43,560 --> 00:26:46,320 Speaker 1: bigger ways? And what were some of the things that 414 00:26:46,400 --> 00:26:50,200 Speaker 1: you started doing in your life? How are you kind 415 00:26:50,240 --> 00:26:56,399 Speaker 1: of um expanding your practice? Um, we talked about first fruit. 416 00:26:56,960 --> 00:27:01,160 Speaker 1: You know, that is practically giving God like the first 417 00:27:01,240 --> 00:27:02,960 Speaker 1: part of you every day when you wake up in 418 00:27:02,960 --> 00:27:05,800 Speaker 1: the morning versus let me give Instagram the first part 419 00:27:05,840 --> 00:27:09,879 Speaker 1: of my day. Let me give you know it's okay, 420 00:27:09,920 --> 00:27:12,600 Speaker 1: So I'm gonna read of some friends of mine. We're 421 00:27:12,840 --> 00:27:16,000 Speaker 1: um studying the Book of Acts right now. So every morning, 422 00:27:16,600 --> 00:27:18,639 Speaker 1: you know, I'm reading the Book of Acts and I 423 00:27:18,720 --> 00:27:21,520 Speaker 1: send reflections and that kind of holds us accountable. But like, 424 00:27:21,560 --> 00:27:23,719 Speaker 1: did you really read it? If? So, okay, send us 425 00:27:23,760 --> 00:27:27,639 Speaker 1: reflections of what you've been And so even that being 426 00:27:27,880 --> 00:27:31,600 Speaker 1: strengthened me. Or I'm making sure when I was in 427 00:27:31,680 --> 00:27:34,359 Speaker 1: my deep, deep state of depression, when I decided to 428 00:27:34,400 --> 00:27:37,640 Speaker 1: finally get out the bed, I would go downstairs get 429 00:27:37,760 --> 00:27:40,760 Speaker 1: make my cup of coffee, listen to some good praise 430 00:27:40,760 --> 00:27:43,680 Speaker 1: and worship music. I'm not even call it praise, some good, 431 00:27:43,760 --> 00:27:48,240 Speaker 1: good bucket gospel music, okay, And that would give me 432 00:27:48,240 --> 00:27:51,479 Speaker 1: in that state of mind of gratitude, thankful for life, 433 00:27:51,920 --> 00:27:55,040 Speaker 1: you know. And that's been something I've been doing. Now 434 00:27:56,160 --> 00:27:58,879 Speaker 1: going on at the end of December will make four 435 00:27:58,960 --> 00:28:07,200 Speaker 1: years straight up at Wow. As you get older, circumstances, brokenness, 436 00:28:08,720 --> 00:28:10,680 Speaker 1: things have a way of putting you at the feet 437 00:28:10,680 --> 00:28:19,200 Speaker 1: of God. And whatever way that is. M yes, God. 438 00:28:19,240 --> 00:28:21,560 Speaker 1: It's like I'm so he said, I'm so proud of you. 439 00:28:21,600 --> 00:28:23,520 Speaker 1: I'm so glad you've got a little star on the 440 00:28:23,560 --> 00:28:30,480 Speaker 1: Walk of Fame. Im. That's so cute. But served, ma'am, 441 00:28:30,520 --> 00:28:34,680 Speaker 1: I need you at my feet. I need you, and 442 00:28:34,720 --> 00:28:37,919 Speaker 1: I got on autopilot. So checking in the three pillars 443 00:28:37,920 --> 00:28:40,880 Speaker 1: of checking in is checking with yourself, checking with others, 444 00:28:40,880 --> 00:28:44,040 Speaker 1: and checking with God. Sometimes we can get on auto pilot. 445 00:28:44,080 --> 00:28:51,080 Speaker 1: We do these little pattycake prayers and instant no he 446 00:28:51,080 --> 00:28:54,680 Speaker 1: he wants he wants a part of you like, or 447 00:28:54,760 --> 00:28:56,480 Speaker 1: we get on the phone in the morning, we'll talk 448 00:28:56,640 --> 00:29:01,840 Speaker 1: for an hour to our boom, our bay. You talked guy. 449 00:29:01,840 --> 00:29:12,840 Speaker 1: It listen, everybody listen, and this is I'm just talking about. No, no, 450 00:29:13,040 --> 00:29:16,000 Speaker 1: this is not judgment, but it's a beautiful direction, you know. 451 00:29:16,040 --> 00:29:19,959 Speaker 1: And I think, Um, we we can't. We can't go 452 00:29:20,080 --> 00:29:23,080 Speaker 1: deeper until we get the tools to dig with. We 453 00:29:23,160 --> 00:29:27,320 Speaker 1: can't go deeper until we learn new language to express ourselves. 454 00:29:27,320 --> 00:29:30,920 Speaker 1: And like, what you're saying is so accurate, Like we 455 00:29:31,080 --> 00:29:35,560 Speaker 1: cannot What are you investing in? I have an example 456 00:29:35,600 --> 00:29:40,520 Speaker 1: that's a little bit different, but I think it might fit. Um. 457 00:29:40,560 --> 00:29:43,440 Speaker 1: I was talking to one of my girlfriends and we 458 00:29:43,440 --> 00:29:46,240 Speaker 1: were talking about a particular person that she was dating, 459 00:29:46,360 --> 00:29:48,240 Speaker 1: and I just had to really share with her. I said, 460 00:29:48,280 --> 00:29:50,400 Speaker 1: you know, I don't know if I want to do this, 461 00:29:50,600 --> 00:29:52,640 Speaker 1: because I don't think you're going to know the person 462 00:29:52,760 --> 00:29:55,400 Speaker 1: in a couple of weeks, and I don't want to 463 00:29:55,440 --> 00:29:58,320 Speaker 1: devote this two hours that we have together to talking 464 00:29:58,360 --> 00:30:01,280 Speaker 1: about them in their lives and like who they are 465 00:30:01,320 --> 00:30:02,960 Speaker 1: and what they do and what's wrong with them or 466 00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:05,320 Speaker 1: what isn't because you know, you're in a season of 467 00:30:05,400 --> 00:30:10,880 Speaker 1: kind of testing, and so the amount of time that 468 00:30:11,000 --> 00:30:15,760 Speaker 1: we invest in conversations about people that don't grow us 469 00:30:16,000 --> 00:30:20,440 Speaker 1: and conversations about people that are transient in nature. It 470 00:30:20,560 --> 00:30:23,479 Speaker 1: really does us a disservice. You know, we shouldn't be 471 00:30:23,560 --> 00:30:28,200 Speaker 1: on the phone key keen about whatever is the latest show, 472 00:30:28,560 --> 00:30:31,600 Speaker 1: or gossiping about a person before we invest in our 473 00:30:31,600 --> 00:30:35,800 Speaker 1: own spirit. It's so counterintuitive, not just our growth, but 474 00:30:35,920 --> 00:30:39,840 Speaker 1: to our ability to really show up in our lives, 475 00:30:40,160 --> 00:30:43,200 Speaker 1: you know. And then sometimes we wonder, why, well, why 476 00:30:43,600 --> 00:30:45,400 Speaker 1: don't I know how to do this, or why hasn't 477 00:30:45,440 --> 00:30:47,560 Speaker 1: this happened to me? And it's like, what, what are 478 00:30:47,560 --> 00:30:51,840 Speaker 1: you investing outwardly that is giving you a return? What 479 00:30:51,920 --> 00:30:55,320 Speaker 1: are you investing on internally that is giving you a return? 480 00:30:55,560 --> 00:30:59,320 Speaker 1: And those can be like really great guide posts to 481 00:30:59,600 --> 00:31:04,840 Speaker 1: start transitioning into having a practice. That's so good. And 482 00:31:04,920 --> 00:31:10,560 Speaker 1: I'm also learning it goes beyond your devotional in the morning. 483 00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:16,000 Speaker 1: It becomes a lifestyle to where your conversations will change, 484 00:31:16,200 --> 00:31:20,640 Speaker 1: where you go will change, who you entertain, who you date, 485 00:31:21,440 --> 00:31:25,040 Speaker 1: even conversations with your best friends and family. They're gonna 486 00:31:25,160 --> 00:31:28,280 Speaker 1: adjust to kind of shift and change. It's like, I 487 00:31:28,280 --> 00:31:31,000 Speaker 1: don't want to pollute all this goodness. You know, I'm 488 00:31:31,040 --> 00:31:35,040 Speaker 1: not listen. Gossip is tempting, you know, you scrolling on 489 00:31:35,120 --> 00:31:38,320 Speaker 1: Instagram and something about somebody's life comes up and you 490 00:31:38,360 --> 00:31:40,520 Speaker 1: want to pick up the phone, like, girl, is this true? 491 00:31:40,880 --> 00:31:42,880 Speaker 1: It ain't none of my business because listen, I don't 492 00:31:42,880 --> 00:31:44,840 Speaker 1: want nobody doing that to me or about me. So 493 00:31:48,480 --> 00:31:55,080 Speaker 1: you know, listen that that that's sewing and reaping. That law, Uh, 494 00:31:55,120 --> 00:31:58,680 Speaker 1: it will get any and everybody. Some people call it karmoods. 495 00:31:58,720 --> 00:32:00,920 Speaker 1: Whatever it's for. I don't care if you believe or 496 00:32:00,960 --> 00:32:04,280 Speaker 1: don't believe, it is gonna find you. So it's like, 497 00:32:05,000 --> 00:32:08,800 Speaker 1: you know, sowing, what do we Whatever I'm sowing, is that? 498 00:32:08,840 --> 00:32:11,920 Speaker 1: What is that? What I want to read later? I 499 00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:15,160 Speaker 1: haven't been perfect in this, but for the past few months, Debby, 500 00:32:15,280 --> 00:32:17,920 Speaker 1: that's been something that I've been focused on too. Is 501 00:32:18,040 --> 00:32:22,840 Speaker 1: sowing ever reaping? You get what you sow, you will 502 00:32:22,920 --> 00:32:26,360 Speaker 1: get what you saw. I love too, how that sewing 503 00:32:26,360 --> 00:32:29,840 Speaker 1: and reaping we can interpret it in so many ways 504 00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:32,800 Speaker 1: because that's also boundaries, right. It's like looking at the 505 00:32:32,880 --> 00:32:37,000 Speaker 1: flow of reciprocity in your life. It's like, am I 506 00:32:37,120 --> 00:32:39,680 Speaker 1: what am I reaping from the way that I'm sewing 507 00:32:39,720 --> 00:32:43,400 Speaker 1: into this connection and then being able to say, am 508 00:32:43,400 --> 00:32:46,360 Speaker 1: I getting enough out of this? You know? Does this 509 00:32:47,800 --> 00:32:52,200 Speaker 1: does this relationship or this job? Does it seem like 510 00:32:52,240 --> 00:32:56,840 Speaker 1: there really is a receptive flow, like there I'm getting 511 00:32:56,840 --> 00:32:59,400 Speaker 1: out of it as much or close to what I'm 512 00:32:59,440 --> 00:33:02,360 Speaker 1: putting into to it in whatever ways you know, sewing 513 00:33:02,480 --> 00:33:07,160 Speaker 1: and reading, Yes, yes, yes, it's not just you sew 514 00:33:07,200 --> 00:33:11,360 Speaker 1: something bad and you get something bad back karma. You 515 00:33:11,440 --> 00:33:14,560 Speaker 1: know it's not. It's literally whatever you saw. So if 516 00:33:14,600 --> 00:33:18,520 Speaker 1: you're so so good seeds, you're gonna read good. Right, 517 00:33:18,680 --> 00:33:22,760 Speaker 1: you're so bad, you'll get bad now. People are what's bad? 518 00:33:23,200 --> 00:33:24,680 Speaker 1: I don't know. That's I don't know. I don't want 519 00:33:24,720 --> 00:33:27,200 Speaker 1: to give in to what's bad. It's you know, but 520 00:33:27,720 --> 00:33:30,720 Speaker 1: to be dependent on on you and your unique lens, 521 00:33:30,760 --> 00:33:34,520 Speaker 1: you know what? What doesn't feel serving to you? I 522 00:33:34,560 --> 00:33:38,360 Speaker 1: think would be Yeah? And also do I want served 523 00:33:38,440 --> 00:33:40,640 Speaker 1: back to Do I want it served back to me? 524 00:33:41,880 --> 00:33:44,920 Speaker 1: What I serve you? What do I want it served 525 00:33:44,960 --> 00:33:50,360 Speaker 1: back to me? Mm hmm. I'm trying. It's it's it's 526 00:33:50,400 --> 00:33:54,000 Speaker 1: with this healing thing because not everybody's on the healing journey, 527 00:33:55,600 --> 00:33:59,320 Speaker 1: So people's response is gonna try you. Everybody's not there. 528 00:34:00,040 --> 00:34:02,840 Speaker 1: I received the text the other morning and I was like, 529 00:34:04,320 --> 00:34:06,080 Speaker 1: is this how you want to start off your morning? 530 00:34:06,920 --> 00:34:10,280 Speaker 1: M And it was a family member. I didn't even respond. 531 00:34:10,920 --> 00:34:16,719 Speaker 1: Mm hmm. No response is a response. But at the 532 00:34:16,760 --> 00:34:18,960 Speaker 1: same time, that was a little passive aggressive, and I 533 00:34:19,280 --> 00:34:21,960 Speaker 1: am going to address the person like, that's not how 534 00:34:22,040 --> 00:34:26,160 Speaker 1: I like to start off my morning. You shouldn't either. 535 00:34:27,440 --> 00:34:30,479 Speaker 1: But because I'm on this journey, Debby, it was so 536 00:34:30,640 --> 00:34:35,719 Speaker 1: like it was jolting. They weren't talking about me. They 537 00:34:35,719 --> 00:34:38,880 Speaker 1: were angry at someone else. And I was like, so 538 00:34:39,040 --> 00:34:44,600 Speaker 1: you woke up angry. If you woke up that way, 539 00:34:45,400 --> 00:34:47,400 Speaker 1: m that's why we talk about when you wake up, 540 00:34:47,440 --> 00:34:49,239 Speaker 1: before you put your two feet on the ground, I 541 00:34:49,320 --> 00:34:55,200 Speaker 1: have some time with God. Yeah, checking your heart, let 542 00:34:55,280 --> 00:34:58,560 Speaker 1: your hands sit on your heart, take a few deep breaths. 543 00:34:58,880 --> 00:35:05,160 Speaker 1: Come on, Debby as absolutely absolutely. What do your practices 544 00:35:05,239 --> 00:35:08,280 Speaker 1: look like, Michelle, Like, the way that you care for yourself, 545 00:35:08,360 --> 00:35:11,160 Speaker 1: the way that you show up in your spiritual practice. 546 00:35:11,719 --> 00:35:14,800 Speaker 1: What does that look like each day or throughout the week. 547 00:35:14,920 --> 00:35:19,960 Speaker 1: What are some kind of mainstays and tools that you've 548 00:35:20,000 --> 00:35:22,400 Speaker 1: discovered on the journey that have really changed you or 549 00:35:22,480 --> 00:35:25,600 Speaker 1: help you regularly. You know, I used to think it 550 00:35:25,680 --> 00:35:29,359 Speaker 1: was just about going to spies, getting massages and you know, 551 00:35:29,480 --> 00:35:32,640 Speaker 1: and all that is amazing. I found some amazing spies 552 00:35:32,680 --> 00:35:35,680 Speaker 1: where they'll even do a sound bad sound healing and 553 00:35:36,080 --> 00:35:38,160 Speaker 1: all that is great while you get a massage and 554 00:35:38,200 --> 00:35:41,720 Speaker 1: a sea salt scrub. But Debby Um, for the past 555 00:35:41,719 --> 00:35:47,440 Speaker 1: couple of years, I've just been incorporating breathing. There are 556 00:35:47,520 --> 00:35:52,080 Speaker 1: times whereout my body automatically knows when it needs to 557 00:35:52,200 --> 00:35:54,760 Speaker 1: take a deep extell and an excel. To the point 558 00:35:55,000 --> 00:35:59,160 Speaker 1: friends have said, what are you doing? It's almost automatic. 559 00:36:00,680 --> 00:36:04,360 Speaker 1: It's almost like when you're when your computer automatically is 560 00:36:04,400 --> 00:36:08,640 Speaker 1: doing an update or something, or our our our devices 561 00:36:08,719 --> 00:36:13,080 Speaker 1: are always um updating, they're always doing something. It's like 562 00:36:13,160 --> 00:36:18,400 Speaker 1: my body knows when to like recalibrate, it will it 563 00:36:18,440 --> 00:36:22,040 Speaker 1: will take a breath like so I've but because I've 564 00:36:22,040 --> 00:36:25,480 Speaker 1: made it a practice, and my body knows when it 565 00:36:25,520 --> 00:36:29,240 Speaker 1: needs to like really take that extra long deep breathing. 566 00:36:29,320 --> 00:36:34,480 Speaker 1: And people like breathing. It's so it's free. You ain't 567 00:36:34,520 --> 00:36:43,480 Speaker 1: gotta go to therapy to breathe, you know, breathing stillness. Yeah, 568 00:36:43,719 --> 00:36:48,160 Speaker 1: breath work is like I know just what you're saying, 569 00:36:48,160 --> 00:36:52,280 Speaker 1: Like that feeling of like just kind of I noticed 570 00:36:52,320 --> 00:36:55,080 Speaker 1: sometimes if I'm even having like a charged thought or 571 00:36:55,120 --> 00:36:57,920 Speaker 1: I've come to a certain awareness in myself my body 572 00:36:57,920 --> 00:37:03,000 Speaker 1: will just go m and push breath out of me 573 00:37:03,080 --> 00:37:06,200 Speaker 1: to release to like meet that experience, or you'll feel 574 00:37:06,239 --> 00:37:08,560 Speaker 1: your yourself just kind of be taken over and just 575 00:37:12,719 --> 00:37:16,399 Speaker 1: you know it. It's so beautiful the way we meet 576 00:37:16,520 --> 00:37:19,879 Speaker 1: these self care practices that actually just turned into deep 577 00:37:19,920 --> 00:37:23,880 Speaker 1: remembrances of how our body is meant to adjust and 578 00:37:23,960 --> 00:37:27,759 Speaker 1: respond anyway, like we are built for this. We are 579 00:37:27,840 --> 00:37:32,840 Speaker 1: built to heal. That's so good. We're built to remember, 580 00:37:33,719 --> 00:37:37,320 Speaker 1: we are built to heal, and it's it goes beyond 581 00:37:37,400 --> 00:37:42,160 Speaker 1: just healing that physical would that we see our bodies 582 00:37:42,200 --> 00:37:44,759 Speaker 1: are also meant to bid to heal the wound and 583 00:37:44,920 --> 00:37:50,880 Speaker 1: we can't see alright. We had a little bit of 584 00:37:50,880 --> 00:37:54,120 Speaker 1: technical difficulties on the very end of that show. I 585 00:37:54,160 --> 00:37:59,560 Speaker 1: feel like our conversation spirit was moving through us. So 586 00:37:59,719 --> 00:38:03,359 Speaker 1: have be on both Michelle's podcast checking in and right 587 00:38:03,360 --> 00:38:07,160 Speaker 1: here on dropping gems that um, maybe we crashed our internet. 588 00:38:07,200 --> 00:38:12,640 Speaker 1: The spirit was moving really deep, really beautifully, um and 589 00:38:12,680 --> 00:38:16,440 Speaker 1: the flow was just there. So sometimes that happens. But 590 00:38:16,680 --> 00:38:20,400 Speaker 1: so grateful Michelle for your time, thank you for joining 591 00:38:20,400 --> 00:38:24,120 Speaker 1: the show, thank you for sharing your heart, your brain, um, 592 00:38:24,160 --> 00:38:27,520 Speaker 1: all of the deep learnings that you have embodied with 593 00:38:27,640 --> 00:38:30,520 Speaker 1: us on this show, and thank you for everything that 594 00:38:30,600 --> 00:38:33,720 Speaker 1: you are in the world again, big fan, love your work, 595 00:38:33,920 --> 00:38:37,200 Speaker 1: love the way that you share yourself and all your 596 00:38:37,280 --> 00:38:40,319 Speaker 1: creativity and your mind and your heart. So thank you 597 00:38:40,360 --> 00:38:43,319 Speaker 1: for joining this show. If you don't yet, make sure 598 00:38:43,360 --> 00:38:46,640 Speaker 1: you check out Michelle's podcast Checking In right here on 599 00:38:46,680 --> 00:38:49,600 Speaker 1: the Black Effect Network, and her book Checking In How 600 00:38:49,600 --> 00:38:52,640 Speaker 1: Getting Real About Depression, Save My Life and Can Save 601 00:38:52,719 --> 00:38:56,760 Speaker 1: Yours is available everywhere. For a little bit of soul 602 00:38:56,800 --> 00:39:01,120 Speaker 1: work today, something to kind of let yourself savor until 603 00:39:01,160 --> 00:39:05,400 Speaker 1: the next episode has always find a place to get grounded, 604 00:39:05,560 --> 00:39:16,520 Speaker 1: maybe get your journal, take a few deep breaths, and 605 00:39:16,560 --> 00:39:19,640 Speaker 1: I think a reflective question for this week that could 606 00:39:19,640 --> 00:39:27,520 Speaker 1: feel really supportive is how will I allow myself to 607 00:39:27,719 --> 00:39:34,239 Speaker 1: upgrade my connection to the divine? How will I cultivate 608 00:39:34,360 --> 00:39:39,160 Speaker 1: an even deeper relationship with God, with Source, with Creator, 609 00:39:39,440 --> 00:39:45,279 Speaker 1: with the universe, whichever name your belief system supports, I 610 00:39:45,360 --> 00:39:52,239 Speaker 1: call that energy God. How can you expand and cultivate 611 00:39:52,760 --> 00:39:57,360 Speaker 1: that connection right now in this season, in this moment 612 00:39:57,360 --> 00:40:01,640 Speaker 1: of your life. M HM. That should feel good thinking 613 00:40:01,719 --> 00:40:06,359 Speaker 1: about and writing to thank you for joining us. We'll 614 00:40:06,400 --> 00:40:12,000 Speaker 1: be back next week, Big Glove and I mus stay Hey. 615 00:40:12,360 --> 00:40:16,120 Speaker 1: Find me on social Let's connect at Debbie Brown. That's 616 00:40:16,200 --> 00:40:19,360 Speaker 1: Twitter and Instagram, or go to my website Debbie Brown 617 00:40:19,760 --> 00:40:22,239 Speaker 1: dot com. And if you're listening to the show on 618 00:40:22,320 --> 00:40:28,000 Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts, please please please don't forget to rate, review, 619 00:40:28,640 --> 00:40:33,160 Speaker 1: and subscribe and send this episode to a friend. Dropping 620 00:40:33,239 --> 00:40:35,400 Speaker 1: Jims is the production of I Heart Radio and The 621 00:40:35,480 --> 00:40:39,600 Speaker 1: Black Effect Network. It's produced by Jackies and me Debbie Brown. 622 00:40:40,160 --> 00:40:42,600 Speaker 1: For more podcasts from My heart Radio, visit the I 623 00:40:42,760 --> 00:40:46,400 Speaker 1: heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to 624 00:40:46,480 --> 00:40:47,320 Speaker 1: your favorite shows.