1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:02,920 Speaker 1: My parents abandoned me after I got married, and now 2 00:00:02,960 --> 00:00:04,720 Speaker 1: they're begging for forgiveness. 3 00:00:05,120 --> 00:00:08,200 Speaker 2: I say, f no, am I the asshole. 4 00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:12,879 Speaker 3: You know, when you get abandoned, you want me to 5 00:00:12,920 --> 00:00:13,760 Speaker 3: not abandon you. 6 00:00:14,200 --> 00:00:17,600 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think if you abandoned me, the abandoning the 7 00:00:17,680 --> 00:00:21,560 Speaker 1: abandonment is equal. This is a true action has an 8 00:00:21,600 --> 00:00:24,319 Speaker 1: equal and opposite reaction. Newton says, so and so do 9 00:00:24,440 --> 00:00:26,280 Speaker 1: I too Way Street, Babe, too Way Street. 10 00:00:26,600 --> 00:00:31,280 Speaker 2: So tld R. I'm married to my former boss. 11 00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:35,000 Speaker 3: Uh oh, boss daddy, boss daddy. 12 00:00:36,080 --> 00:00:38,560 Speaker 2: You've heard of boss baby? Oh god, I've heard of 13 00:00:38,600 --> 00:00:42,680 Speaker 2: boss daddy. He grew up. Parents did not. He grew up. 14 00:00:43,120 --> 00:00:45,440 Speaker 1: Parents did not take to the marriage as well as 15 00:00:45,479 --> 00:00:49,159 Speaker 1: I'd hoped, and ignored me for five years, only to 16 00:00:49,200 --> 00:00:52,600 Speaker 1: reach out when they saw a fifth anniversary Facebook post 17 00:00:52,840 --> 00:00:56,360 Speaker 1: that mentioned our kids. So like, oh shit, they have kids. 18 00:00:56,400 --> 00:01:03,880 Speaker 1: Now we're all in back like their baby. Do I 19 00:01:04,040 --> 00:01:07,000 Speaker 1: let them back in? Or do I ignore them? So 20 00:01:07,080 --> 00:01:09,360 Speaker 1: here's we're gonna get some more details on the setge. 21 00:01:09,840 --> 00:01:13,200 Speaker 1: But that's the that is the question here, ladies and gentlemen. 22 00:01:13,760 --> 00:01:16,039 Speaker 1: Does OP let them back in or ignore them? So 23 00:01:16,640 --> 00:01:19,440 Speaker 1: my husband thirty mail used to be my boss about 24 00:01:19,520 --> 00:01:22,319 Speaker 1: nine years ago I started working as his assistant. We 25 00:01:22,360 --> 00:01:26,240 Speaker 1: spent about two and a half years ignoring our mutual 26 00:01:26,280 --> 00:01:31,080 Speaker 1: attraction until we gave it Ah. We then went to HR, 27 00:01:31,360 --> 00:01:34,520 Speaker 1: who reassigned me, and the whole thing was strictly above 28 00:01:34,520 --> 00:01:37,959 Speaker 1: the board from the time we began dating. So basically 29 00:01:38,040 --> 00:01:39,800 Speaker 1: it's like, oh damn, we can't keep our hands off 30 00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:42,920 Speaker 1: each other. HR reassign me, so we can just get 31 00:01:42,920 --> 00:01:43,800 Speaker 1: into each other's pants. 32 00:01:44,160 --> 00:01:47,280 Speaker 3: I mean, that's pretty that's pretty good. Like they didn't 33 00:01:47,280 --> 00:01:51,280 Speaker 3: even like I can see like people getting together in 34 00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:54,320 Speaker 3: an office relationship where it's like you don't tell the company. 35 00:01:54,760 --> 00:01:57,640 Speaker 3: I don't think that's like immoral per se because sometimes 36 00:01:58,080 --> 00:01:59,120 Speaker 3: those rules. 37 00:01:58,800 --> 00:02:02,680 Speaker 2: Are are whatever. But they followed all the rules like opening. 38 00:02:03,160 --> 00:02:06,720 Speaker 1: I feel like of like you're spending six to eight 39 00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:09,720 Speaker 1: hours of your day every day at an office. Yeah, 40 00:02:09,760 --> 00:02:12,120 Speaker 1: and if you got a hot co worker and you're 41 00:02:12,160 --> 00:02:15,720 Speaker 1: a hot co worker, Like there's the cubans are human? 42 00:02:15,840 --> 00:02:18,280 Speaker 1: Humans be human if there's bound to be like, there's 43 00:02:18,280 --> 00:02:21,320 Speaker 1: bound to be some attraction at some level at some point. 44 00:02:21,560 --> 00:02:23,600 Speaker 2: Maybe, but do you take a dookie where you eat? 45 00:02:24,400 --> 00:02:28,160 Speaker 1: I I think generally no, because it's a little it's 46 00:02:28,200 --> 00:02:31,920 Speaker 1: a it's a little dicey. But do do I fault 47 00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:34,440 Speaker 1: anyone forgetting feelings in an office? 48 00:02:34,600 --> 00:02:34,639 Speaker 2: No? 49 00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:37,320 Speaker 3: You know, it makes it a lot easier chop your 50 00:02:37,320 --> 00:02:39,720 Speaker 3: penis off. I was gonna say, if you already eat ass, 51 00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:41,520 Speaker 3: but damn, we went with a nuclear option. 52 00:02:42,280 --> 00:02:44,440 Speaker 2: Oh my god, be a eunuch. Okay. 53 00:02:45,960 --> 00:02:48,680 Speaker 1: I got pregnant about a year later, and my husband 54 00:02:48,680 --> 00:02:51,960 Speaker 1: and I decided to just get married. 55 00:02:52,760 --> 00:02:53,519 Speaker 2: Love is in the air. 56 00:02:54,200 --> 00:02:56,480 Speaker 1: Well, we'd only been really dating for one and a 57 00:02:56,520 --> 00:02:59,280 Speaker 1: half years. We knew each other completely, I mean, we 58 00:02:59,480 --> 00:03:02,480 Speaker 1: work together. We did spread sheets and then we spread 59 00:03:02,480 --> 00:03:02,959 Speaker 1: those sheets. 60 00:03:03,080 --> 00:03:03,840 Speaker 2: Oh my god. 61 00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:07,440 Speaker 1: We loved each other, lived together, and there was a 62 00:03:07,440 --> 00:03:09,959 Speaker 1: baby on the way. We knew how it would look. 63 00:03:10,160 --> 00:03:12,400 Speaker 1: But I had to leave the company anyway due to 64 00:03:12,440 --> 00:03:15,080 Speaker 1: problems with my new boss, Like he wasn't giving me 65 00:03:15,080 --> 00:03:16,520 Speaker 1: all a special attention. 66 00:03:16,200 --> 00:03:16,960 Speaker 2: That I used to get. 67 00:03:17,040 --> 00:03:19,360 Speaker 1: Yeah, all that one on one time I got with 68 00:03:19,560 --> 00:03:20,639 Speaker 1: my previous boss. 69 00:03:20,639 --> 00:03:22,680 Speaker 2: For some reason, it wasn't happening. Oh god. 70 00:03:23,480 --> 00:03:26,320 Speaker 1: So we didn't anticipate this cause aga any issues, except 71 00:03:26,360 --> 00:03:30,400 Speaker 1: with my parents. They sixty two male and fifty seven female, 72 00:03:30,680 --> 00:03:34,360 Speaker 1: have always been overprotective, so I knew they wouldn't like 73 00:03:34,440 --> 00:03:37,200 Speaker 1: me dating my boss, and I hadn't told them, but 74 00:03:37,280 --> 00:03:39,200 Speaker 1: I had to tell them if I wanted them at 75 00:03:39,200 --> 00:03:39,680 Speaker 1: my wedding. 76 00:03:39,960 --> 00:03:43,560 Speaker 3: Right, dang, we're already up to the point of her 77 00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:45,760 Speaker 3: having a child with him and they don't know. 78 00:03:45,960 --> 00:03:46,680 Speaker 2: Yeah, they don't know. 79 00:03:46,840 --> 00:03:50,360 Speaker 1: Dang. We decided to be mostly honest with them about 80 00:03:50,360 --> 00:03:55,720 Speaker 1: how it was strictly professional until it wasn't. How the 81 00:03:55,760 --> 00:03:59,800 Speaker 1: second it got unprofessional, we went to HR. I love 82 00:03:59,840 --> 00:04:02,080 Speaker 1: how they're saying this. It's like an a memo. The 83 00:04:02,120 --> 00:04:06,040 Speaker 1: moment we got on professional, we went directly to HRS 84 00:04:06,440 --> 00:04:09,920 Speaker 1: and like, HR is like, wait, how did it get unprofessional? Well, 85 00:04:10,560 --> 00:04:15,400 Speaker 1: he came to my apartment about five hours and we 86 00:04:15,640 --> 00:04:23,240 Speaker 1: engaged into some synergistic activity that lasted between six and 87 00:04:23,360 --> 00:04:24,160 Speaker 1: sixteen minutes. 88 00:04:24,320 --> 00:04:27,679 Speaker 3: Our general, our genitals were cross pollinating all kinds of ideas. 89 00:04:27,760 --> 00:04:30,440 Speaker 1: Yes, let us just say it was for the good 90 00:04:30,440 --> 00:04:35,400 Speaker 1: of the company, so we could have better team bonding. 91 00:04:35,600 --> 00:04:38,719 Speaker 2: Oh yes, yours me. 92 00:04:41,120 --> 00:04:44,000 Speaker 1: How we had how he had never taken advantage of me, 93 00:04:44,320 --> 00:04:46,720 Speaker 1: but now we wanted to get married and we wanted 94 00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:49,200 Speaker 1: them there. We did not mention the baby because I 95 00:04:49,200 --> 00:04:52,119 Speaker 1: felt that giving them that information, in addition to the rest, 96 00:04:52,120 --> 00:04:55,520 Speaker 1: all at once would just break them, which I feel 97 00:04:55,560 --> 00:04:58,640 Speaker 1: like the probably thing that I would be feeling as 98 00:04:58,640 --> 00:05:00,520 Speaker 1: a parent in this situation at the this point would 99 00:05:00,560 --> 00:05:02,000 Speaker 1: be like why did you keep all of this from me? 100 00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:05,640 Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, like that's so much to keep away. 101 00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:08,080 Speaker 3: That baby should have been the point they're thinking like, Oh, 102 00:05:08,080 --> 00:05:09,839 Speaker 3: we're gonna get married now I have to tell them. No, 103 00:05:09,880 --> 00:05:13,240 Speaker 3: it's you're having a baby. Yeah, you have to tell them, yeah, opinion. 104 00:05:13,600 --> 00:05:16,160 Speaker 1: I was only about four months long when the wedding happens. 105 00:05:16,279 --> 00:05:19,680 Speaker 1: The bump was easily hidden by a flowy dress. The 106 00:05:19,680 --> 00:05:22,440 Speaker 1: wedding itself went off without a pitch and apart from 107 00:05:22,440 --> 00:05:25,000 Speaker 1: my mother pulling me into the bathroom shortly before the 108 00:05:25,040 --> 00:05:27,600 Speaker 1: ceremony to ask if I was sure about this? 109 00:05:28,640 --> 00:05:31,080 Speaker 2: You sure? Sure? You want to go through with this? 110 00:05:31,920 --> 00:05:37,520 Speaker 2: I'm in my wedding gown. Better than doing it in public, 111 00:05:37,560 --> 00:05:37,839 Speaker 2: I guess. 112 00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:42,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, better than saying are you sure, sweetheart? 113 00:05:42,200 --> 00:05:45,719 Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, the street. It's a real nice god. Yeah. 114 00:05:45,920 --> 00:05:48,960 Speaker 1: Let me set you guys up just, you know, maybe 115 00:05:49,200 --> 00:05:52,360 Speaker 1: quick call before you go through this whole thing right now. Yeah, 116 00:05:52,400 --> 00:05:56,840 Speaker 1: I don't worry. I got you, which I said I was. 117 00:05:56,960 --> 00:05:59,400 Speaker 1: My parents seem to take it well. The ceremony and 118 00:05:59,480 --> 00:06:01,800 Speaker 1: reception were at two different venues, and we had to 119 00:06:01,800 --> 00:06:04,400 Speaker 1: travel from one to the other, and my parents never 120 00:06:04,520 --> 00:06:08,320 Speaker 1: arrived at the reception. I called them and got ignored, 121 00:06:08,720 --> 00:06:11,360 Speaker 1: and then my brother called them and they told him 122 00:06:11,480 --> 00:06:14,719 Speaker 1: that they were going home. I don't remember the exact 123 00:06:14,800 --> 00:06:17,440 Speaker 1: reason they gave, but it amounted to them being tired 124 00:06:17,839 --> 00:06:21,479 Speaker 1: and uncomfortable. I tried contacting them after the wedding, but 125 00:06:21,600 --> 00:06:26,640 Speaker 1: found that I was blocked on everything except email, which 126 00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:29,200 Speaker 1: I used to send them a long letter, essentially saying 127 00:06:29,200 --> 00:06:31,840 Speaker 1: that I'm an adult who made an adult choice, and 128 00:06:31,880 --> 00:06:37,640 Speaker 1: I hope they can respect that five years later. Oh 129 00:06:36,600 --> 00:06:41,960 Speaker 1: oh my god, K there, no, they have five years. 130 00:06:42,080 --> 00:06:45,320 Speaker 1: Man's coughing up along over drees. I have not heard 131 00:06:45,320 --> 00:06:47,960 Speaker 1: from my parents since my wedding. My husband and I 132 00:06:48,040 --> 00:06:49,960 Speaker 1: are not big on social media in general, but I 133 00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:53,240 Speaker 1: recently posted something for our fifth anniversary in which I 134 00:06:53,360 --> 00:06:55,960 Speaker 1: mentioned our two kids and a third on the way. 135 00:06:56,680 --> 00:06:59,839 Speaker 1: Within a month of making this post, my parents left 136 00:06:59,839 --> 00:07:03,400 Speaker 1: a voicemail saying they saw the post and, having no 137 00:07:03,480 --> 00:07:07,240 Speaker 1: idea that they had grandchildren previously, now want to meet them. 138 00:07:09,040 --> 00:07:11,640 Speaker 1: I haven't responded, and there have been a few follow 139 00:07:11,720 --> 00:07:15,880 Speaker 1: ups since then asking why I haven't. There's a little 140 00:07:15,920 --> 00:07:18,360 Speaker 1: bit more, But what do you think so far? 141 00:07:18,640 --> 00:07:19,760 Speaker 2: I think I hate everyone. 142 00:07:19,920 --> 00:07:23,840 Speaker 3: Yeah, the the op is stupid for hiding the like 143 00:07:24,160 --> 00:07:27,960 Speaker 3: before the wedding, before anything, hiding the baby. Now, there 144 00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:32,760 Speaker 3: are totally scenarios where it's better to not tell, like 145 00:07:32,880 --> 00:07:33,720 Speaker 3: the grandparents. 146 00:07:33,760 --> 00:07:36,480 Speaker 1: You know, this seems like it doesn't seem like you 147 00:07:36,520 --> 00:07:39,080 Speaker 1: want to have that relationship with your parents. Yeah, maybe 148 00:07:39,120 --> 00:07:41,560 Speaker 1: Opie didn't. But if you, like, I think one of 149 00:07:41,560 --> 00:07:43,400 Speaker 1: them at the wedding. Yeah, so it's like you should 150 00:07:43,440 --> 00:07:46,360 Speaker 1: you should just be you should just say what the 151 00:07:46,400 --> 00:07:47,720 Speaker 1: whole the whole delio is. 152 00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:49,920 Speaker 3: Yeah, just like I maybe maybe if they told them 153 00:07:49,920 --> 00:07:53,080 Speaker 3: in the first place, they maybe they wouldn't have gone crazy. 154 00:07:53,120 --> 00:07:56,320 Speaker 3: But and then you you say you're tired and uncomfortable 155 00:07:56,320 --> 00:07:59,080 Speaker 3: at their wedding, which, uh, get out of my face. 156 00:07:59,160 --> 00:08:02,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's that's that's a sick move. And are you sure? 157 00:08:02,760 --> 00:08:06,679 Speaker 2: Are you sure? And then you block them for five years? 158 00:08:06,840 --> 00:08:10,800 Speaker 1: Five years is pretty that feels I unforgetting that maybe 159 00:08:10,800 --> 00:08:15,240 Speaker 1: not unforgivable, but I would have a hard time, like 160 00:08:15,720 --> 00:08:17,640 Speaker 1: you would have to prove to me that you actually 161 00:08:17,680 --> 00:08:19,800 Speaker 1: want to be in my life after that point. 162 00:08:19,680 --> 00:08:22,760 Speaker 2: Everyone's a maniac. Yeah, everyone's crazy, That's what I'm saying. 163 00:08:22,880 --> 00:08:26,800 Speaker 1: So who's crazier. I'm not need some parents for sure? 164 00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:27,920 Speaker 1: Five years? That's crazy. 165 00:08:28,120 --> 00:08:30,240 Speaker 2: Five years Yeah, I'll go parents, I'll go parents. 166 00:08:30,520 --> 00:08:33,360 Speaker 1: So I don't know what to do, but my gut 167 00:08:33,440 --> 00:08:36,160 Speaker 1: instinct is that five years is too long, and it's 168 00:08:36,200 --> 00:08:40,439 Speaker 1: about the kids, not about them respecting my choices or relationship. However, 169 00:08:41,000 --> 00:08:44,440 Speaker 1: I can't help but feel that I'm being unfair, and 170 00:08:44,480 --> 00:08:47,000 Speaker 1: my brother agrees because I told them in my email 171 00:08:47,040 --> 00:08:49,000 Speaker 1: that if they could learn to respect my choice in 172 00:08:49,040 --> 00:08:52,000 Speaker 1: my marriage eventually then we could talk. And now I'm 173 00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:58,000 Speaker 1: retroactively applying a time limit. Wait, I'm confused, like, uh oh, 174 00:08:58,080 --> 00:09:00,360 Speaker 1: Like they're saying five years is too much, Like I'm 175 00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:03,800 Speaker 1: retroactively saying, hey, that was way too long to ghost me. 176 00:09:03,920 --> 00:09:06,000 Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, five years a long time. 177 00:09:06,120 --> 00:09:06,680 Speaker 2: Yeah it is. 178 00:09:07,120 --> 00:09:09,200 Speaker 1: And it can't find a way to work this in organically. 179 00:09:09,240 --> 00:09:12,679 Speaker 1: But my husband is not white. I am, as are 180 00:09:12,720 --> 00:09:14,920 Speaker 1: my parents. I don't think this is a race thing 181 00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:17,560 Speaker 1: or that my parents are racist, and neither does my husband, 182 00:09:17,800 --> 00:09:20,240 Speaker 1: and we don't understand why they want to meet our 183 00:09:20,320 --> 00:09:23,840 Speaker 1: mixed race children if they were racist. But this element 184 00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:26,960 Speaker 1: is still gnawing at me. Should I reach out to them? 185 00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:30,319 Speaker 1: If I did, how would we go about rebuilding the relationship? 186 00:09:30,760 --> 00:09:33,920 Speaker 1: And there is an update and it's juicy. 187 00:09:33,920 --> 00:09:40,439 Speaker 3: Oh goodness, ready to suckle up to Tito juicy information TLDR. 188 00:09:40,920 --> 00:09:44,880 Speaker 2: They're racist. There you go, there you freaking go, and 189 00:09:44,960 --> 00:09:46,200 Speaker 2: let me tell you why? So tell me. 190 00:09:46,360 --> 00:09:48,640 Speaker 1: I asked to talk yesterday. We were on a zoom 191 00:09:48,800 --> 00:09:51,760 Speaker 1: within an hour. It was my parents and me and 192 00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:54,160 Speaker 1: my husband. They asked to see the kids, and I 193 00:09:54,200 --> 00:09:57,760 Speaker 1: said they could see them eventually, dependent on them earning 194 00:09:57,840 --> 00:10:00,520 Speaker 1: our trust and convincing us they were going to be 195 00:10:00,559 --> 00:10:04,000 Speaker 1: a positive addition to the kids' lives. They asked to 196 00:10:04,040 --> 00:10:06,560 Speaker 1: start by reading a letter that they claimed to have 197 00:10:06,640 --> 00:10:09,240 Speaker 1: written on my wedding day. It said that they were 198 00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:12,600 Speaker 1: uncomfortable with me marrying my former boss and they thought 199 00:10:12,640 --> 00:10:15,160 Speaker 1: he took advantage of me, so they left between the 200 00:10:15,160 --> 00:10:18,199 Speaker 1: wedding and the reception to avoid a scene, but they 201 00:10:18,240 --> 00:10:21,160 Speaker 1: wanted me to know they were here for me despite 202 00:10:21,200 --> 00:10:24,120 Speaker 1: their issues with him. They added that they would have 203 00:10:24,200 --> 00:10:27,360 Speaker 1: sent this to me the morning after my wedding, but 204 00:10:27,480 --> 00:10:30,000 Speaker 1: then I sent my email about them needing to respect 205 00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:33,320 Speaker 1: my choices. And they were so ashamed they couldn't bring 206 00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:39,080 Speaker 1: themselves to send theirs stop, which means like, uh a shame, 207 00:10:39,200 --> 00:10:42,839 Speaker 1: Like were they like ashamed that for at themselves or 208 00:10:42,920 --> 00:10:47,079 Speaker 1: ashamed at her? I think ashamed at themselves, which is dumb. Well, 209 00:10:47,120 --> 00:10:48,760 Speaker 1: I hope they should be ashamed of themselves. 210 00:10:48,920 --> 00:10:51,600 Speaker 3: No, no, no, they should be ashamed of themselves, but so 211 00:10:51,760 --> 00:10:54,160 Speaker 3: ashamed that oh what was me? We're not gonna we're 212 00:10:54,200 --> 00:10:56,560 Speaker 3: not here for five years, talk to you for what 213 00:10:56,960 --> 00:10:58,240 Speaker 3: like obviously reach out? 214 00:10:58,280 --> 00:11:02,199 Speaker 1: And I'm confused. I'm still confused. I think it maybe 215 00:11:02,240 --> 00:11:06,640 Speaker 1: they're ashamed at her. You could be right, Yeah, let's see. 216 00:11:06,720 --> 00:11:07,360 Speaker 2: Let's see. 217 00:11:07,720 --> 00:11:11,439 Speaker 1: Seeing my anniversary post made them realize how much they've 218 00:11:11,480 --> 00:11:13,800 Speaker 1: missed in five years, and they really don't want to 219 00:11:13,800 --> 00:11:17,040 Speaker 1: miss anymore. I had some questions, like what was the 220 00:11:17,040 --> 00:11:19,600 Speaker 1: big deal with me marrying my former boss, and they 221 00:11:19,640 --> 00:11:22,000 Speaker 1: said that it just wasn't what they had in mind 222 00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:25,439 Speaker 1: for my wedding day and my future spouse. I asked 223 00:11:25,440 --> 00:11:27,960 Speaker 1: why they even came to the wedding at all if 224 00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:30,280 Speaker 1: they didn't support the marriage, and my dad responded that 225 00:11:30,320 --> 00:11:32,800 Speaker 1: he wanted to walk his daughter down the aisle as 226 00:11:32,840 --> 00:11:35,800 Speaker 1: it was the only chance he'd get the way it was. 227 00:11:35,840 --> 00:11:38,840 Speaker 1: Phrase implied that they had intentionally only come to the 228 00:11:38,880 --> 00:11:42,040 Speaker 1: wedding so he could give me away and always plan 229 00:11:42,200 --> 00:11:45,560 Speaker 1: to leave halfway. And because he said my daughter and 230 00:11:45,600 --> 00:11:48,440 Speaker 1: didn't talk to me directly, it was pretty clear he 231 00:11:48,600 --> 00:11:51,800 Speaker 1: was thinking about my older sister who passed away outside. 232 00:11:52,440 --> 00:11:55,000 Speaker 1: My husband caught that too and said that if they 233 00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:58,719 Speaker 1: were talking about me, they should address me directly, then 234 00:11:58,800 --> 00:12:01,640 Speaker 1: added that if they had had planned to leave, they 235 00:12:01,679 --> 00:12:04,160 Speaker 1: should have told us, as we wouldn't have invited them. 236 00:12:04,400 --> 00:12:06,320 Speaker 1: And the fact that they waited five years to reach 237 00:12:06,360 --> 00:12:09,280 Speaker 1: out was going to take more reasons than shame. As 238 00:12:09,320 --> 00:12:12,160 Speaker 1: a father, he couldn't understand how they could just ignore 239 00:12:12,280 --> 00:12:15,200 Speaker 1: their daughter for years only to get back in touch 240 00:12:15,240 --> 00:12:19,400 Speaker 1: when we had kids. My dad snapped that he wasn't 241 00:12:19,440 --> 00:12:22,280 Speaker 1: going to take and so this is what the husband 242 00:12:22,360 --> 00:12:25,200 Speaker 1: is saying, right, And then my dad snapped that he 243 00:12:25,360 --> 00:12:29,120 Speaker 1: wasn't going to take this from a cushy. What's a cushy? 244 00:12:30,240 --> 00:12:33,640 Speaker 1: Apparently it's a slur meaning dark skinned cushy. I've never 245 00:12:33,679 --> 00:12:34,320 Speaker 1: heard that one. 246 00:12:34,880 --> 00:12:39,480 Speaker 2: I don't think I have either. I guess that's good. 247 00:12:41,360 --> 00:12:42,839 Speaker 2: C U s h I. 248 00:12:43,559 --> 00:12:47,280 Speaker 1: Oh, it's a the word cushy or cushy is a 249 00:12:47,320 --> 00:12:50,800 Speaker 1: Hebrew word generally used in the Hebrew bile to refer 250 00:12:50,840 --> 00:12:52,640 Speaker 1: to a dark skinned person of African descent. 251 00:12:53,040 --> 00:12:55,360 Speaker 2: I see, okay, okay. 252 00:12:55,040 --> 00:12:59,360 Speaker 1: So it's like a Hebrew slur for dark skinned people. 253 00:12:59,480 --> 00:13:02,600 Speaker 1: My mother immediately tried to run damage control, but I 254 00:13:02,720 --> 00:13:05,760 Speaker 1: ended the call, which probably the. 255 00:13:05,760 --> 00:13:06,920 Speaker 2: Right thing to do. Yeah. 256 00:13:07,040 --> 00:13:09,880 Speaker 1: Yeah, they have since messaged me several so maybe it's 257 00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:13,880 Speaker 1: less about him being the boss and more about the 258 00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:14,640 Speaker 1: color of his skin. 259 00:13:14,800 --> 00:13:15,680 Speaker 2: Yep, fucked. 260 00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:19,720 Speaker 1: They have since messaged me several times trying to explain 261 00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:23,599 Speaker 1: that calling my husband a racial slur was an indicative 262 00:13:23,679 --> 00:13:26,600 Speaker 1: of a racist attitude, and he wouldn't have said that 263 00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:29,120 Speaker 1: in front of the kids, so they should still get 264 00:13:29,120 --> 00:13:29,720 Speaker 1: to meet them. 265 00:13:30,640 --> 00:13:33,160 Speaker 2: I wasn't going to be racist in front of the kids, guys. 266 00:13:33,240 --> 00:13:34,839 Speaker 2: I mean, I'm a reasonable dude. 267 00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:38,960 Speaker 1: The thing is, like, the kids are mixed, so it's like, 268 00:13:38,960 --> 00:13:42,200 Speaker 1: like I could understand as a parent after hearing that, 269 00:13:42,720 --> 00:13:47,000 Speaker 1: being like, why would I want my kids subjected to me, 270 00:13:47,120 --> 00:13:50,760 Speaker 1: subjected to the racism that affects them too. 271 00:13:50,679 --> 00:13:55,280 Speaker 3: Basically getting raised with uh with self self hatred exactly. 272 00:13:55,640 --> 00:13:57,520 Speaker 2: Yeah nope, you're gone. 273 00:13:57,640 --> 00:14:00,800 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, no, you're and the five years things. So 274 00:14:01,280 --> 00:14:03,520 Speaker 1: I spent five years wondering how they were so offended 275 00:14:03,559 --> 00:14:06,319 Speaker 1: by me marrying my boss that it earned no contact 276 00:14:06,400 --> 00:14:09,719 Speaker 1: for half a decade. Turns out they're just racist. It's 277 00:14:09,760 --> 00:14:11,840 Speaker 1: almost nice to find out. If it was just the 278 00:14:11,840 --> 00:14:13,839 Speaker 1: boss thing, I would have sympathy for them and we 279 00:14:13,960 --> 00:14:16,520 Speaker 1: might even be able to reconcile. But with this it's 280 00:14:16,520 --> 00:14:19,160 Speaker 1: now just a question of if I'm going to knowingly 281 00:14:19,280 --> 00:14:22,840 Speaker 1: expose my mixed race children to a couple of racists, 282 00:14:23,160 --> 00:14:27,920 Speaker 1: which I am obviously not going to do. So my 283 00:14:28,120 --> 00:14:30,840 Speaker 1: question to you, John, and also to everyone so to 284 00:14:30,960 --> 00:14:33,560 Speaker 1: be tapping the comments, do you think oh he made 285 00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:36,120 Speaker 1: the right decision? Is is the right decision to cut 286 00:14:36,160 --> 00:14:41,000 Speaker 1: the parents out completely? And also hypothetical here, yeah, what 287 00:14:41,120 --> 00:14:43,960 Speaker 1: if it was What if the racist comment was not made, 288 00:14:44,040 --> 00:14:46,800 Speaker 1: the parents were not racist, would the five years of 289 00:14:46,840 --> 00:14:51,160 Speaker 1: silence be enough to employ the same result of like, hey, 290 00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:53,440 Speaker 1: I'm still not gonna I don't want I don't want 291 00:14:53,440 --> 00:14:54,000 Speaker 1: you around my. 292 00:14:54,040 --> 00:14:56,000 Speaker 2: Kids because who does that? Yeah? 293 00:14:56,080 --> 00:14:59,000 Speaker 1: So those are the two two scenarios. First scenario one, 294 00:14:59,200 --> 00:15:01,240 Speaker 1: what actually happened? And do you think OHP made the 295 00:15:01,280 --> 00:15:04,760 Speaker 1: right decision? And scenario two minus the racism. Do you 296 00:15:05,200 --> 00:15:08,120 Speaker 1: if you subtract that from the conversation, do you think 297 00:15:08,120 --> 00:15:10,040 Speaker 1: O P should make the same decision. 298 00:15:10,280 --> 00:15:14,160 Speaker 3: Yeah, I definitely think in scenario number one, like absolutely, 299 00:15:14,760 --> 00:15:18,040 Speaker 3: you do not have to have the grandparents in your life, and. 300 00:15:18,560 --> 00:15:24,400 Speaker 1: Especially I mean it's like like having racist grandparents around, 301 00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:26,800 Speaker 1: Like like child said, Yeah, you don't want to. You 302 00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:28,600 Speaker 1: don't want to have them growing up with self hate. 303 00:15:28,600 --> 00:15:31,080 Speaker 3: They're going to be raised with with self hatred, and 304 00:15:31,120 --> 00:15:36,760 Speaker 3: it's just going to skew so many things for them 305 00:15:37,120 --> 00:15:40,360 Speaker 3: that you just you just can't have that. 306 00:15:40,360 --> 00:15:42,400 Speaker 2: That's not to say that you can't. 307 00:15:42,600 --> 00:15:47,960 Speaker 3: You know, you could work with them, you know, hopefully 308 00:15:48,040 --> 00:15:50,480 Speaker 3: hopefully help them change your ways. But that is not 309 00:15:50,840 --> 00:15:54,960 Speaker 3: your responsibility, or your husband's responsibility, or your children's responsibility. 310 00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:58,760 Speaker 3: It's not it's that's that's not on on you guys. Yeah, 311 00:15:58,800 --> 00:15:59,480 Speaker 3: so that. 312 00:15:59,920 --> 00:16:02,960 Speaker 1: I you know, like at this point, I don't know 313 00:16:03,240 --> 00:16:06,040 Speaker 1: whether we need or protect these old people, Like, yeah, 314 00:16:06,120 --> 00:16:10,320 Speaker 1: like that's your first obligation is to protect your children exactly. 315 00:16:10,880 --> 00:16:14,560 Speaker 1: This kind of ideology protect the people who are getting 316 00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:18,800 Speaker 1: harmed versus protecting the people who are giving the harm. 317 00:16:19,080 --> 00:16:23,160 Speaker 3: So yeah, absolutely they can leave. In scenario number one, 318 00:16:23,200 --> 00:16:25,320 Speaker 3: and in scenario number two, it's like if you leave 319 00:16:25,400 --> 00:16:29,760 Speaker 3: my life for five years without a peep, oh that already, 320 00:16:29,880 --> 00:16:32,760 Speaker 3: Like it's just like, which is what OP was asking? 321 00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:35,080 Speaker 2: Why? Like what is. 322 00:16:35,360 --> 00:16:38,160 Speaker 3: There has to be even if they're even if they're 323 00:16:38,160 --> 00:16:42,960 Speaker 3: not racist or you know, there has to be some 324 00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:47,480 Speaker 3: some big reason why which makes them like not suit 325 00:16:47,720 --> 00:16:48,680 Speaker 3: How can I trust you? 326 00:16:48,840 --> 00:16:49,200 Speaker 2: Yeah? 327 00:16:49,240 --> 00:16:51,080 Speaker 3: You know what I mean that I won't don't get 328 00:16:51,080 --> 00:16:53,760 Speaker 3: my hopes up that like, oh maybe my children could 329 00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:56,760 Speaker 3: have good supportive grandparents in their life, and that you'll 330 00:16:56,800 --> 00:17:01,680 Speaker 3: just leave again. Yeah, you know, so completely fucked situation, 331 00:17:01,880 --> 00:17:03,360 Speaker 3: so fucked here, so fucked. 332 00:17:03,360 --> 00:17:05,080 Speaker 1: I want to know what everyone else would do, or 333 00:17:05,119 --> 00:17:08,720 Speaker 1: if you've had a scenario like I'm sure this has happened, 334 00:17:08,760 --> 00:17:14,160 Speaker 1: Like you know, I'm sure everyone's grandparents have said questionable things. 335 00:17:14,240 --> 00:17:18,680 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, so I'm curious, what is the most questionable 336 00:17:18,720 --> 00:17:20,520 Speaker 1: thing that your grandparents have. 337 00:17:20,560 --> 00:17:25,080 Speaker 2: Said and what is your response to that? Yeah, these 338 00:17:25,119 --> 00:17:28,000 Speaker 2: comments are about to be hot. I have a story. 339 00:17:28,080 --> 00:17:30,399 Speaker 1: I have a story, but I just I can't I 340 00:17:30,400 --> 00:17:32,600 Speaker 1: can't say it because I have I only have one 341 00:17:32,600 --> 00:17:35,920 Speaker 1: grandparent and I don't want to throw there's. 342 00:17:35,760 --> 00:17:37,080 Speaker 2: No plausible deniability. 343 00:17:37,119 --> 00:17:40,959 Speaker 1: Yeah, it was more. It wasn't racist, to be clear, okay, 344 00:17:41,760 --> 00:17:45,360 Speaker 1: but it was weird. It involves my ex girlfriend too. Man, 345 00:17:45,400 --> 00:17:46,680 Speaker 1: I wish I could say I don't want to. I'm 346 00:17:46,680 --> 00:17:51,600 Speaker 1: not going to say I would say it, but it's. 347 00:17:50,080 --> 00:17:53,520 Speaker 2: It's more funny than it is anything else. Yeah. But anyways, 348 00:17:53,760 --> 00:17:55,960 Speaker 2: you know what I really want to hear this next story? 349 00:17:56,160 --> 00:17:58,080 Speaker 2: Yeah I do. Okay, let's get into it. 350 00:17:58,320 --> 00:18:00,840 Speaker 3: My boyfriend keeps falling asleep before we do the nasty, 351 00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:02,160 Speaker 3: but I want to bone. 352 00:18:02,320 --> 00:18:04,880 Speaker 2: Should I break it off? Am I the a hole? Yes? 353 00:18:05,400 --> 00:18:09,480 Speaker 3: Yeah, don't just break off the uh the don't just 354 00:18:09,520 --> 00:18:10,560 Speaker 3: break off the relationship. 355 00:18:10,640 --> 00:18:13,000 Speaker 1: Break off that wiener watch It might be hard if 356 00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:14,040 Speaker 1: he's sleeping and it's. 357 00:18:13,880 --> 00:18:15,479 Speaker 2: Soft, you know, just all right? 358 00:18:15,560 --> 00:18:17,840 Speaker 1: You know what I think the issue is, you're playing 359 00:18:17,960 --> 00:18:21,800 Speaker 1: ratitui when you should be playing that booty just literally 360 00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:25,120 Speaker 1: like taking the picture of your ass, put it airplay 361 00:18:25,160 --> 00:18:28,440 Speaker 1: it onto the telly and then make him watch that. 362 00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:31,320 Speaker 2: That's and he's like, hey, you could be experiencing the 363 00:18:31,359 --> 00:18:34,480 Speaker 2: real thing. That's a great move, you know what I mean? Yeah? 364 00:18:34,640 --> 00:18:37,040 Speaker 1: Or you know, instead of watching or I was about 365 00:18:37,040 --> 00:18:38,960 Speaker 1: to say, instead of watching Game of Thrones, watch Game 366 00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:42,040 Speaker 1: of Bones but Game of Thrones is basically already porn. 367 00:18:42,480 --> 00:18:44,520 Speaker 1: So just put on like the sexiest episode of Game 368 00:18:44,560 --> 00:18:45,040 Speaker 1: of Thrones. 369 00:18:45,480 --> 00:18:47,840 Speaker 3: I I have started watching it for the first time, 370 00:18:48,160 --> 00:18:50,960 Speaker 3: and I can't tell you erect I'm I'm in I'm 371 00:18:50,960 --> 00:18:51,480 Speaker 3: in there, baby. 372 00:18:51,680 --> 00:18:53,560 Speaker 2: Yeah. The Game of Thrones is just for play, for 373 00:18:53,640 --> 00:18:56,560 Speaker 2: watching with your partner. It really is. Hey, bro, tip, 374 00:18:56,800 --> 00:19:00,600 Speaker 2: there you go. You're welcome you thro tip there you go. 375 00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:02,880 Speaker 2: Get it all right? 376 00:19:03,640 --> 00:19:07,800 Speaker 3: So, I thirty four female, met my current boyfriend, thirty 377 00:19:07,800 --> 00:19:11,280 Speaker 3: one male a few months ago, and we instantly connected 378 00:19:11,320 --> 00:19:14,200 Speaker 3: on an emotional, intellectual, and just. 379 00:19:15,440 --> 00:19:18,480 Speaker 2: Everything kind of level. That sounds great. If you're picking 380 00:19:18,560 --> 00:19:20,120 Speaker 2: up what op he's putting. 381 00:19:19,920 --> 00:19:25,200 Speaker 1: Down, she's throwing it down, m making that booty bounce. 382 00:19:26,200 --> 00:19:29,359 Speaker 1: I wonder if, like anyone has ever broken someone's pelvis 383 00:19:29,440 --> 00:19:31,879 Speaker 1: by like throwing it down too hard. Has to be 384 00:19:32,040 --> 00:19:34,000 Speaker 1: has to be pure math, yeah, pure math. 385 00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:38,640 Speaker 3: Yeahure, if you've ever had your pelvis broken from beating 386 00:19:38,640 --> 00:19:40,919 Speaker 3: it too hard, let us. 387 00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:44,600 Speaker 2: Know, Let us know. Oh man, back to the story. 388 00:19:45,520 --> 00:19:46,240 Speaker 2: We just clicked. 389 00:19:46,840 --> 00:19:49,880 Speaker 3: We essentially lived together when we first met. He lived 390 00:19:49,880 --> 00:19:52,440 Speaker 3: an hour away, but already had been planning to move 391 00:19:52,520 --> 00:19:55,359 Speaker 3: back home to help his parents as they're both in 392 00:19:55,440 --> 00:19:58,120 Speaker 3: poor health. His home is about a ten minute drive 393 00:19:58,119 --> 00:20:00,760 Speaker 3: from where I already live, and we just fell into 394 00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:03,840 Speaker 3: a comfortable routine of him coming home after work. We 395 00:20:03,920 --> 00:20:07,120 Speaker 3: both get up around six am, since early. That's that's 396 00:20:07,119 --> 00:20:10,879 Speaker 3: pretty early, especially together as a unit. Man, whodose you're already. 397 00:20:10,600 --> 00:20:13,160 Speaker 2: Starting the relationship a completely in sync? 398 00:20:15,200 --> 00:20:18,160 Speaker 3: Since we've been spending every night together, I became more 399 00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:20,679 Speaker 3: aware of the fact that he falls asleep before his 400 00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:22,240 Speaker 3: head even hits the pillow. 401 00:20:23,760 --> 00:20:26,119 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's so me though. Yeah. 402 00:20:26,240 --> 00:20:29,359 Speaker 1: I've had girlfriends get mad at me for falling asleep 403 00:20:29,359 --> 00:20:32,199 Speaker 1: and I'm like, go, She's like, hey, want to go 404 00:20:32,240 --> 00:20:35,639 Speaker 1: to bed, And I'm like yeah, And then I go 405 00:20:35,680 --> 00:20:36,720 Speaker 1: to bed and I'm asleep. 406 00:20:37,280 --> 00:20:39,320 Speaker 2: I thought I thought I was the only one nude. 407 00:20:39,720 --> 00:20:43,720 Speaker 2: I think it's just the fellas tired boy. Dude, I'm 408 00:20:43,720 --> 00:20:45,960 Speaker 2: a tired boy. I'm gonna fall. 409 00:20:46,040 --> 00:20:47,680 Speaker 1: I remember I went on a Tinder date with this 410 00:20:47,720 --> 00:20:50,560 Speaker 1: girl and she would want she would want to come 411 00:20:50,600 --> 00:20:54,920 Speaker 1: over like at like midnight. Yeah, and her name was Maddie, 412 00:20:55,119 --> 00:20:59,880 Speaker 1: Maddie Tinder in my phone, and she would come over 413 00:21:00,160 --> 00:21:03,520 Speaker 1: like midnight and would want to like Netflix and chill. 414 00:21:03,600 --> 00:21:03,679 Speaker 2: Right. 415 00:21:03,760 --> 00:21:06,119 Speaker 1: Yea, So we would watch fifteen minutes of a movie, right, 416 00:21:06,320 --> 00:21:09,600 Speaker 1: and then do do the deed, and then we would 417 00:21:09,600 --> 00:21:12,840 Speaker 1: cuddle and like like finish the movie, but I would 418 00:21:12,920 --> 00:21:17,359 Speaker 1: fall asleep instantly, yeah, and she uh would then just 419 00:21:17,520 --> 00:21:21,119 Speaker 1: leave after I fell asleep, which I was like, I 420 00:21:21,160 --> 00:21:23,440 Speaker 1: was fine with her staying over, but you come over 421 00:21:23,760 --> 00:21:26,080 Speaker 1: at midnight, like, I'm not going to be able to 422 00:21:26,080 --> 00:21:26,600 Speaker 1: make it through. 423 00:21:26,760 --> 00:21:28,680 Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm gonna be so tired. 424 00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:32,119 Speaker 3: Like is the movie really necessary? I'm gonna be completely honest, 425 00:21:32,119 --> 00:21:32,440 Speaker 3: It's like. 426 00:21:32,400 --> 00:21:34,520 Speaker 1: The movie is not necessary necessarily. If you want to 427 00:21:34,520 --> 00:21:36,919 Speaker 1: finish the movie, expect me to fall asleep. And so 428 00:21:37,560 --> 00:21:40,600 Speaker 1: after a while she got mad at me uh and 429 00:21:40,720 --> 00:21:43,119 Speaker 1: said that I was an asshole for not walking her 430 00:21:43,160 --> 00:21:46,040 Speaker 1: out and falling asleep. I'm with you, I'm with you, brow, 431 00:21:46,119 --> 00:21:48,240 Speaker 1: But I like falling asleep to the movie. I do 432 00:21:48,400 --> 00:21:50,400 Speaker 1: like falling asleep to the movies. I love I love 433 00:21:50,440 --> 00:21:50,920 Speaker 1: falling asleep. 434 00:21:51,119 --> 00:21:51,520 Speaker 2: What it is? 435 00:21:51,520 --> 00:21:54,280 Speaker 3: I think if you've trained yourself so much, like have 436 00:21:54,480 --> 00:21:55,240 Speaker 3: Louvian Dog. 437 00:21:55,480 --> 00:21:58,520 Speaker 1: I know, I put on Spider Man into the Spider 438 00:21:58,600 --> 00:22:00,639 Speaker 1: Verse on the plane out the whole plane. 439 00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:02,800 Speaker 2: You're you're you're in the Spider Verse. Yeah. Oh, anyway, 440 00:22:03,080 --> 00:22:04,120 Speaker 2: let's back to the story. 441 00:22:05,200 --> 00:22:07,639 Speaker 3: We usually get into bed a few hours before to 442 00:22:07,680 --> 00:22:10,920 Speaker 3: watch a movie, slash TV show, slash play, Mario Kart, 443 00:22:11,320 --> 00:22:14,520 Speaker 3: et cetera, and about ninety five percent of the time 444 00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:18,240 Speaker 3: it's just me sitting up awake till ten or eleven PM. 445 00:22:18,520 --> 00:22:20,840 Speaker 2: Man needs his beauty sleep, he does. Bro. 446 00:22:21,119 --> 00:22:24,879 Speaker 1: I mean like, I've had another girlfriend get mad at 447 00:22:24,920 --> 00:22:28,520 Speaker 1: me for uh, like when we I would fall asleep 448 00:22:28,560 --> 00:22:30,080 Speaker 1: and she's like, why don't you want to talk to 449 00:22:30,160 --> 00:22:33,440 Speaker 1: me in bed, and like talk for hours and I'm like, girl, 450 00:22:36,640 --> 00:22:38,919 Speaker 1: it's not that I don't care for you, Yeah. 451 00:22:38,840 --> 00:22:40,000 Speaker 2: It's just that I need to sleep. 452 00:22:40,520 --> 00:22:45,439 Speaker 1: I'm oh my god, I've had this conversation so many times. 453 00:22:46,160 --> 00:22:48,159 Speaker 2: Some boys just need rest. I feel you. I'm a 454 00:22:48,200 --> 00:22:51,560 Speaker 2: sleepy boy too. I'm a sleepy boys sleep. Remember. 455 00:22:52,480 --> 00:22:56,240 Speaker 3: Oh, for some context, I have a history of spectacularly 456 00:22:56,480 --> 00:23:01,560 Speaker 3: terrible former long term, more than two years partners, particularly 457 00:23:01,600 --> 00:23:04,760 Speaker 3: when it came to our sex lives. I think I've 458 00:23:04,800 --> 00:23:08,000 Speaker 3: developed this expectation of the honeymoon phase of sex during 459 00:23:08,040 --> 00:23:10,320 Speaker 3: the first year or so of the relationship, and then 460 00:23:10,359 --> 00:23:16,840 Speaker 3: it turns into unhealthy expectations, just lost it, lack of communication, 461 00:23:17,080 --> 00:23:20,480 Speaker 3: and just downhill from there, I was hell bent on 462 00:23:20,600 --> 00:23:23,320 Speaker 3: trying to develop a stronger sense of what I want 463 00:23:23,359 --> 00:23:26,399 Speaker 3: in the sexual part of my next relationship before meeting 464 00:23:26,480 --> 00:23:29,800 Speaker 3: my current boyfriend. On the occasion we do have sex 465 00:23:29,960 --> 00:23:33,320 Speaker 3: or even for play, messing around, et cetera. It's been great, 466 00:23:33,640 --> 00:23:38,200 Speaker 3: I think, because my boyfriend rarely, if ever initiates, he's communicative, 467 00:23:38,359 --> 00:23:40,879 Speaker 3: doesn't rush, and he's attentive to me. It's not the 468 00:23:40,960 --> 00:23:43,359 Speaker 3: lack of passion at all. But the problem is that 469 00:23:43,440 --> 00:23:46,520 Speaker 3: we often goes days without even kissing each other aside 470 00:23:46,560 --> 00:23:48,040 Speaker 3: from a goodbye kiss in the morning. 471 00:23:48,200 --> 00:23:50,159 Speaker 2: So it sounds like the intimacy is not really that. 472 00:23:50,800 --> 00:23:54,640 Speaker 1: It's not the sleep, it's the lack of intimacy, that's right. 473 00:23:55,760 --> 00:23:58,520 Speaker 3: I'm still sort of conflicted on the sphere of our relationship, 474 00:23:58,760 --> 00:24:01,320 Speaker 3: not really sure if I feel like something's actually wrong 475 00:24:01,359 --> 00:24:03,840 Speaker 3: here or if it's just different from what I expect. 476 00:24:04,080 --> 00:24:06,280 Speaker 3: But his whole falling asleep the moment we get into 477 00:24:06,320 --> 00:24:09,440 Speaker 3: bed thing has definitely been a significant factor in how 478 00:24:09,480 --> 00:24:13,919 Speaker 3: often we've been intimate together. Now, Opie did say, uh that, 479 00:24:14,000 --> 00:24:17,840 Speaker 3: op Opie said that she's up until like ten or eleven. Yeah, 480 00:24:17,960 --> 00:24:20,639 Speaker 3: So I mean, I'm he has to be falling asleep 481 00:24:20,640 --> 00:24:21,520 Speaker 3: before ten or eleven? 482 00:24:21,840 --> 00:24:22,359 Speaker 2: Is he nine? 483 00:24:22,400 --> 00:24:28,000 Speaker 3: Like nine's pretty bad? That's which like sometimes asleep early? Man, 484 00:24:28,119 --> 00:24:30,800 Speaker 3: I wake up early, fall asleep early. What are you 485 00:24:30,840 --> 00:24:33,639 Speaker 3: saying nine nine pm is dark? I think the sun 486 00:24:33,760 --> 00:24:36,479 Speaker 3: is a sleep I'm asleep. I think nine pm is 487 00:24:36,720 --> 00:24:42,159 Speaker 3: a fantastic bedtime in the realm of expectations. If someone wants, 488 00:24:42,640 --> 00:24:44,920 Speaker 3: is you know, more of a night owl? I think 489 00:24:45,040 --> 00:24:50,040 Speaker 3: some point past nine pm is is reasonable to ask for, 490 00:24:50,440 --> 00:24:50,720 Speaker 3: you know. 491 00:24:51,240 --> 00:24:53,159 Speaker 2: And I'm in I'm in your corner, trust me, bro, 492 00:24:53,480 --> 00:24:53,840 Speaker 2: I Bro. 493 00:24:53,960 --> 00:24:55,840 Speaker 3: I used to fall asleep at eight pm some days 494 00:24:55,840 --> 00:24:59,119 Speaker 3: when I was single, Like, I am so in your corner, but. 495 00:24:59,119 --> 00:25:06,640 Speaker 2: Like single, you a better bet. I was fall asleep. 496 00:25:08,280 --> 00:25:11,760 Speaker 3: I literally some days with I was so over optimized. 497 00:25:11,760 --> 00:25:13,560 Speaker 3: I would turn off all the lights at like eight 498 00:25:13,600 --> 00:25:16,800 Speaker 3: pm to protect my melotonin. Wow, And I'd just be 499 00:25:16,880 --> 00:25:21,560 Speaker 3: cooking salmon in the dark and put sauce on it and. 500 00:25:21,440 --> 00:25:23,679 Speaker 2: Then falling asleep at ain't thirty. I'm not lying. My 501 00:25:23,720 --> 00:25:30,119 Speaker 2: life is dead. Boy, We're better now. Some boys like 502 00:25:30,119 --> 00:25:35,479 Speaker 2: the sleepy sleepy boys, little said a couple of snorl 503 00:25:35,480 --> 00:25:38,000 Speaker 2: axes over here. Yeah, dude, for sure. 504 00:25:38,720 --> 00:25:41,560 Speaker 3: I'm still sort of conflicted on the sphere of our relationship, 505 00:25:41,680 --> 00:25:43,840 Speaker 3: not really sure if I feel like something's actually wrong 506 00:25:43,920 --> 00:25:45,720 Speaker 3: or if it's just different from what I expect. But 507 00:25:45,760 --> 00:25:47,800 Speaker 3: his whole falling asleep the moment we get into bed 508 00:25:47,840 --> 00:25:50,600 Speaker 3: thing has definitely been a significant factor in how often 509 00:25:50,600 --> 00:25:53,760 Speaker 3: we've been intimate together, which I honestly do wish was 510 00:25:53,760 --> 00:25:56,959 Speaker 3: more frequent and not just at night. I've basically spoken 511 00:25:57,040 --> 00:25:59,879 Speaker 3: openly about all of this to him, but we haven't 512 00:26:00,160 --> 00:26:02,880 Speaker 3: come to a resolution of any kind or truly discussed 513 00:26:02,920 --> 00:26:07,359 Speaker 3: it as an explicit issue. It's making me feel like 514 00:26:07,400 --> 00:26:09,920 Speaker 3: I just sort of live with my new best friend, 515 00:26:10,160 --> 00:26:12,480 Speaker 3: not sure what to make of this, So any advice 516 00:26:12,600 --> 00:26:15,879 Speaker 3: or thoughts on the situation would be truly appreciated. 517 00:26:15,960 --> 00:26:19,199 Speaker 1: Yeah, no, I say, I, Yeah, I totally get her 518 00:26:19,240 --> 00:26:23,640 Speaker 1: point of view. Yeah, Opie, you know if you're once. 519 00:26:23,880 --> 00:26:25,920 Speaker 3: And also I think it's important that, like OPI is 520 00:26:25,960 --> 00:26:28,960 Speaker 3: like trying to communicate it, trying to find a resolution. 521 00:26:30,160 --> 00:26:32,160 Speaker 3: That's another thing too, is like hey, you bring something 522 00:26:32,160 --> 00:26:33,760 Speaker 3: to the table and like, hey, can we work on this, 523 00:26:33,800 --> 00:26:36,119 Speaker 3: And if the other person is kind of just like 524 00:26:36,600 --> 00:26:39,359 Speaker 3: shutting it down or closed off or you know, that's 525 00:26:39,680 --> 00:26:42,720 Speaker 3: a that's more of like a core relationship component where 526 00:26:42,720 --> 00:26:43,760 Speaker 3: it's like the. 527 00:26:43,800 --> 00:26:46,960 Speaker 2: Thing is like you define what kind of relationship you 528 00:26:47,000 --> 00:26:47,960 Speaker 2: want to be in. Yeah. 529 00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:52,919 Speaker 1: So it's like if if you as long as you're communicative, yeah, 530 00:26:52,960 --> 00:26:56,000 Speaker 1: and you're not a dick and you're just saying like, hey, 531 00:26:56,000 --> 00:26:57,880 Speaker 1: this is what I need in relationship. Is that something 532 00:26:57,880 --> 00:27:00,159 Speaker 1: you think you can meet me at? And if they 533 00:27:00,160 --> 00:27:02,880 Speaker 1: say no, then you have your answer. If they say 534 00:27:03,240 --> 00:27:05,200 Speaker 1: they want to work on it, then you know that's 535 00:27:05,240 --> 00:27:06,960 Speaker 1: something that you can work out, and. 536 00:27:06,920 --> 00:27:10,120 Speaker 2: Then you decide if that's still right for you or yeah. Yeah. 537 00:27:10,200 --> 00:27:12,560 Speaker 1: I think like that's what dating is for, is finding 538 00:27:12,600 --> 00:27:16,479 Speaker 1: out if the relationship works. So it is yes, So 539 00:27:17,560 --> 00:27:19,720 Speaker 1: if you have a high libido, like just you know, 540 00:27:19,840 --> 00:27:20,199 Speaker 1: call me. 541 00:27:20,680 --> 00:27:26,120 Speaker 2: Yeah. The number is almost almost. I know a lot 542 00:27:26,160 --> 00:27:26,840 Speaker 2: of you out there. 543 00:27:26,920 --> 00:27:29,679 Speaker 1: Things for those digits actually, but you we actually do 544 00:27:29,760 --> 00:27:31,200 Speaker 1: have a place that you can call us and leave 545 00:27:31,240 --> 00:27:34,320 Speaker 1: those stories, do we Actually what we want to do 546 00:27:34,400 --> 00:27:36,320 Speaker 1: is leave a story kind of like pitch us your 547 00:27:36,359 --> 00:27:39,600 Speaker 1: story and then uh, leave a callback number and we 548 00:27:39,600 --> 00:27:41,480 Speaker 1: can call you an interview on the show. 549 00:27:41,520 --> 00:27:42,840 Speaker 2: We want to do more show. 550 00:27:42,840 --> 00:27:45,520 Speaker 1: There's some there's one couple coming out of us interviewing 551 00:27:46,200 --> 00:27:47,960 Speaker 1: fans of the show, right, and so we want to 552 00:27:47,960 --> 00:27:48,399 Speaker 1: do more of that. 553 00:27:48,440 --> 00:27:50,000 Speaker 2: So, John, what's the number? It is? 554 00:27:50,119 --> 00:27:53,200 Speaker 1: Four four zero five zer eight six five six seven 555 00:27:53,720 --> 00:27:55,480 Speaker 1: if you you can literally call it right now. Do 556 00:27:55,520 --> 00:27:56,879 Speaker 1: we have a voicemail set up for it? 557 00:27:56,920 --> 00:27:57,560 Speaker 2: We do it. 558 00:27:57,600 --> 00:27:59,920 Speaker 3: Tells people how to I'll play it for you, okay, Cool, 559 00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:01,040 Speaker 3: people how to submit their stories? 560 00:28:01,080 --> 00:28:01,280 Speaker 1: Cool? 561 00:28:01,359 --> 00:28:06,879 Speaker 3: Yeah, so do it. Also, let's do this next story. 562 00:28:06,960 --> 00:28:07,440 Speaker 2: Let's do it.