Speaker 1: We're bad.
Speaker 2: Hello, Hello, Hello, Welcome to the Loud Ratchet Hour with
Speaker 2: Marie Monster and Sydney Washing, Sydney, Elizabeth Washington, Walla, Walla Washington, Sidney.
Speaker 1: Bang yes or Uchi Uchi bang bang?
Speaker 2: Yes, that's that's Uci Wally Washing, Sydney Uchi Wally bang bang.
Speaker 1: What's up? Sydney is a whore. Let's get into it.
Speaker 2: So we just got back from a pool on the
Speaker 2: roof in Manhattan, and Sydney changed clothes when she got
Speaker 2: here and her whole butt is out.
Speaker 1: Yes it is. It's a pink and green. I want
Speaker 1: to say, it's like a beach cover up that she
Speaker 1: wore on the train.
Speaker 2: It's discussing the way I sat on the train, because
Speaker 2: that was spare ass was on the train. I was like,
Speaker 2: I'm going to get all the bum bunts on my butt,
Speaker 2: and that's what it's gonna be. They're gonna be like
Speaker 2: little freckles on my butt.
Speaker 1: Bum bumps, bum bumps. I'm okay with it? Are you?
Speaker 1: I mean, obviously you are. I mean you had.
Speaker 2: No qualms about qualmsunt gaunt and gaunt and qualms. You
Speaker 2: had no qualms about putting your bare ass on a
Speaker 2: dirty new York City train. Just think about all the
Speaker 2: dirt that has touched us, our hands, our face. But
Speaker 2: I wash my hands regularly. I don't put my face
Speaker 2: on the bum bumps. I just think that, you know,
Speaker 2: just be free. If the disease is gonna come, it's
Speaker 2: gonna come. Okay, your medicaid just came through. Because you're
Speaker 2: talking to somebody who can go to urgent care today.
Speaker 2: Absolutely not you had urgent caramels. Listen, if I get
Speaker 2: some kind of infection on my butt, I'm like chop
Speaker 2: the whole thing off.
Speaker 1: I ain't got much anyway. It's like a.
Speaker 2: Weird cut, a weird butt DNT. Yeah, just take the butts,
Speaker 2: take that chunk the butt out. I don't want a
Speaker 2: butt dant. I think it will give me character. I
Speaker 2: think that's what I need in my life. Character. Yeah,
Speaker 2: you don't think that you need pants in your life,
Speaker 2: or a towel to put down when you're republic or
Speaker 2: shirt tied around your waist. You don't think you need
Speaker 2: none of those things. No, you think you need a
Speaker 2: sliced butt. I don't want that, you know. It's just
Speaker 2: we wanted to be on out and about and be
Speaker 2: on the in the pool and hang out. But it
Speaker 2: was just too hot. I don't understand. We walk in
Speaker 2: and it was just sizzling whites. Whites on fire. That
Speaker 2: bag is on fire. It was white people that were
Speaker 2: bright red and like blendet of Mars. They look like
Speaker 2: they hurt, and it's like, dude, what time did you
Speaker 2: come out for? The Soul opened at eight o'clock, so
Speaker 2: they've been there so and we got there at like
Speaker 2: eleven thirty, almost twelve. They had been there for four hours. Yeah,
Speaker 2: there was They couldn't wait. And it's just like, dude,
Speaker 2: do you know how bad.
Speaker 1: The sun is for your skin? It's awful. Why do white.
Speaker 2: People and this is I'm asking this. This is not
Speaker 2: a rhetorical question. This is for the people who listen
Speaker 2: to the podcast that are white.
Speaker 1: Why do white people like the sun so much?
Speaker 2: Because the sundough Like, y'all, you guys peel the sun
Speaker 2: like anybody. You can get skin cancer if you're brown
Speaker 2: as well.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, but black people aren't.
Speaker 2: Laying out in the sun like a white person, like
Speaker 2: white people will be.
Speaker 1: Like putting oil on baking criscal oil.
Speaker 2: They were like, well, I like my bacon CRUNCHF eight eight.
Speaker 1: Eight. That's nothing.
Speaker 2: That's literally you should You could literally just not even
Speaker 2: use SPF at all. SPF eight means you can only
Speaker 2: be outside in direct sunight for eight minutes. I think
Speaker 2: that the number means that how much time you can
Speaker 2: spend in the sun before you have to reapply.
Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying. Eight. It is nothing. Eight ain't
Speaker 1: nothing but number.
Speaker 2: The one that we had today was fifty. Yeah, but
Speaker 2: I was under the umbrella. We could not even be
Speaker 2: in the sun. I felt like my scalp was cooking.
Speaker 1: You know how in a summertime, if you leave your
Speaker 1: phone in direct sunlight, the.
Speaker 2: Phone will overheat, like it'll be like cooling down. I
Speaker 2: don't know if you guys know this, but that's what
Speaker 2: happens with iPhones. I feel like with galaxies, they probably
Speaker 2: just disaggreate, but with the iPhone, it'll say come back
Speaker 2: when your phone cools down. And that's what happened to ours,
Speaker 2: and ours was in the shade. It's just like, you know,
Speaker 2: at first, I was like, Oh, I'm gonna stunt this summer.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna be on the sun, I'm be in a bikini,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna have abs.
Speaker 1: That's not happening, dude. The abs is.
Speaker 2: Definitely not happening for your friends, it's not happening. But
Speaker 2: you did have one a thong today.
Speaker 1: I did do the thong, I said, and I said,
Speaker 1: let's do it me singing.
Speaker 2: We don't support our Kelly here, we don't, but I
Speaker 2: will sing that song for.
Speaker 1: The wonderful song? Should that be our theme song? No?
Speaker 2: Actually, very racist and it's messy. What do you mean
Speaker 2: it's racist. Well, it's supposed to be like like Asian inspired.
Speaker 1: Was a about the thong? No, I thought it was
Speaker 1: the thong someone. No, I don't know what it is.
Speaker 2: But anyway, yeah, I said, you know what all this
Speaker 2: body positivity is going on, Let me have my cheeks out,
Speaker 2: Let me do it. Let me see what it's all about,
Speaker 2: just being accepting your body. But let's talk about what
Speaker 2: how else you accepted your body. Her titties were also out. Yes,
Speaker 2: her titties were also think J lo Versachi dress. That's
Speaker 2: what Sydney's boobs are giving in this Robert today. If
Speaker 2: you go to my id stories or if you went
Speaker 2: to my stories when I posted it, her butt was out.
Speaker 2: She legit showed me her stretch mark you gotta love yourself.
Speaker 2: You gotta love your body.
Speaker 1: And even though I.
Speaker 2: Think this, the whole thing is backwards because if like
Speaker 2: you have a bigger body, then it's like, yes, love
Speaker 2: your body. But then if it's your skinny anything, it's, oh,
Speaker 2: fuck you bitch, Like of course you're gonna love your body.
Speaker 1: But it's like, that's not how it works all the time.
Speaker 2: No, but that is true though, Like I feel like
Speaker 2: bigger women and plus size women are like there's.
Speaker 1: A movement of like body positivity.
Speaker 2: If I'm thin and I'm like, io, look at my
Speaker 2: collar bones, people are like, ell you cunty, yes, gauant ho,
Speaker 2: and it's like, yeah, actually, I'm just cunt.
Speaker 1: Gaunt is over there. It's true.
Speaker 2: And so you know, I usually will wear I cover up, dude,
Speaker 2: do you I cover up? I am very modest. I'm
Speaker 2: modest because I actually don't like how thin my arms are. Okay,
Speaker 2: so your arms be covered, but your boobs be out well,
Speaker 2: because I spent.
Speaker 1: Money on them and they should be out. But I
Speaker 1: cover those up too. You should have had something, You
Speaker 1: should have had somebody to pay for your boobs.
Speaker 2: I mean I should have when you were in the bottle,
Speaker 2: waitress game X amount of years ago. When you got
Speaker 2: your boobs done, you should have just had somebody to
Speaker 2: pay for them.
Speaker 1: Definitely, that was another regret that I had just paying
Speaker 1: for them yourself.
Speaker 2: Yes, paying for them myself, ketamine, meth, not doing my taxes,
Speaker 2: all those things in that order. Yeah, paying for your
Speaker 2: boo is number one, and then and then methis third.
Speaker 1: Dude, paying taxes this for I had to go to
Speaker 1: the irs.
Speaker 2: You know why I didn't go to them. They came
Speaker 2: to me and they were like, we're gonna.
Speaker 1: Garnish your wages and shit. The guy.
Speaker 2: I w on the phone with the guy and he's like,
Speaker 2: I'm trying to figure out why you didn't do your
Speaker 2: taxes for so long, And I said drugs, And he said,
Speaker 2: people on drugs still have to file their taxes. Then
Speaker 2: I said, wow, he sounds like a really fun guy
Speaker 2: at parties.
Speaker 1: Thank you, Robert.
Speaker 2: Robert was giving me real answers, a little bail, real advice.
Speaker 2: But yeah, you know, so what's going on with your taxes? Well,
Speaker 2: they're filing it. They're filing my taxes right now for
Speaker 2: all five years five years, okay, And I'm trying to
Speaker 2: get that whole off my account, dude. That hold, guys,
Speaker 2: you can't vemo me no more because I can't even
Speaker 2: deposit that money in my account. Speaking of money, we've
Speaker 2: decided that I'm going to join sugar daddy dot com.
Speaker 1: That's what we're doing today, what we're doing on the
Speaker 1: podcast today.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna I'm going to sugar and I'm like, I
Speaker 2: don't want to join it because what if I bump
Speaker 2: into somebody that I know is gonna be like just
Speaker 2: browsing it, just just for kicks and be like, ah,
Speaker 2: is that Marie being a hole on here?
Speaker 1: So we waited.
Speaker 2: That's our new segment though, what what are we gonna
Speaker 2: do new today? Marie's starting a sugar daddy dot com account. Okay,
Speaker 2: so I'm on the website right now. I'm going to
Speaker 2: join it for a cool let's just say for the summer.
Speaker 1: Should joined it for the summers?
Speaker 2: I do like you should do it for as long
Speaker 2: as you feel safe. I feel like I don't feel
Speaker 2: safe right now. I haven't even joined it yet. As
Speaker 2: long as you feel comfortable.
Speaker 1: Keep it.
Speaker 2: So, if you're all caught up to the podcast, we
Speaker 2: had a sugar Daddy expert. Come on, and she met
Speaker 2: this dude on sugar daddy dot com and she's she
Speaker 2: has a handsome face.
Speaker 1: Let's just say, and uh, you know what, I feel like,
Speaker 1: I'm cute.
Speaker 2: People should be slotting in my Sugar Daddy mailbox to
Speaker 2: be like, hey, you wanna get some lobster? When decided, dude,
Speaker 2: and then I'm gonna be like, well, how much money
Speaker 2: are gonna give me for the lobster and the dick?
Speaker 1: Three?
Speaker 2: I think that you should live your best life? And
Speaker 2: what does that mean? What does that mean? You want
Speaker 2: me to have sex with old people for money? Well,
Speaker 2: I mean I know friends who have sex with people
Speaker 2: on the first day, on the first night, and they
Speaker 2: don't even know if they really like him that much.
Speaker 1: And it's just like, be yourself, do whatever you want, dude.
Speaker 1: There's no judgment here. I judge people that do that.
Speaker 1: You should stop judging, girl.
Speaker 2: I judge people who best the first du This is
Speaker 2: your year of yes.
Speaker 1: Yes, but does that mean yes herpes, yes, chlamydia? Yes, John,
Speaker 1: he's a condom. Again.
Speaker 2: I don't want to bang in fuld white person for money.
Speaker 1: Okay, so they don't have to be white.
Speaker 2: You could get you an old Asian, well, you could
Speaker 2: get you a Filipino dude.
Speaker 1: Well.
Speaker 2: Also for the year of Yes, I've decided and this listen.
Speaker 2: This is to all the people that come to see
Speaker 2: us perform and stop us on the street. We're adding
Speaker 2: an Asian man to the rotation for twenty eighteen.
Speaker 1: We just got to find him.
Speaker 2: New segment Who Knew? Is gonna be fucking Marie this year?
Speaker 1: Who Knew?
Speaker 2: Who knew? Who Knew? That's here's a new segment. City
Speaker 2: Don't speak English now helps Sidney words sugar daddy dot
Speaker 2: com app. There's gotta be it says free trial. Oh
Speaker 2: do that free trial, hitch, I gotta pay to be
Speaker 2: on this, Yes, so that's why you get that free
Speaker 2: trial and do as much as you can. Wow, this
Speaker 2: woman from Taswell, Virginia is very unfortunate looking what it's
Speaker 2: some some video hop Big Mama twenty seven, Newark, New Jersey. Marie,
Speaker 2: I'm so excited for you to do this because, first
Speaker 2: of all, news stories who come through come through Latest
Speaker 2: Sugar Daddies Richie from uh Aro, Aurora, Colorado fifty four
Speaker 2: ward and then there's another one. He's from Collsbaud California
Speaker 2: forty three.
Speaker 1: These dudes, I don't feel like they have any money.
Speaker 1: They're older.
Speaker 2: No, I feel like men join sugar daddy dot Com
Speaker 2: that don't have no money because they're like all these
Speaker 2: women think I have money, so they gonna bang me
Speaker 2: and then they don't see these women again. I'm not
Speaker 2: about to get gassed by something broke on sugar deck.
Speaker 2: You're not about to bamboos on me.
Speaker 1: That's what hinges us. Definitely, that's definitely the case, dude.
Speaker 1: I would get on it.
Speaker 2: I would get on sugar daddy dot Com as a
Speaker 2: broke nigga and be like, I got money, so can
Speaker 2: I get these these thirsty trying to pay the rent?
Speaker 2: Imagine you were like, yo, I'm just get this one dude.
Speaker 2: He gonna pay my rent. And then you do what
Speaker 2: you have to do and then you're like okay and
Speaker 2: they're like okay, what And I'm like, well, you won't
Speaker 2: give me some money? And he's gonna be like, actually,
Speaker 2: I thought maybe you could give me some money. They're like, well,
Speaker 2: this is about sugar. I thought you wanted sugar. Ew
Speaker 2: you wanted some sugar, girl, I just put that sugar
Speaker 2: on your back. On my back. I have a very
Speaker 2: deep groove in my spinal cord. So that's great, that's
Speaker 2: perfect for Sugar. I'm gonna watch you jizzing on my
Speaker 2: spine for a good fifteen dollars. Yes, but what if
Speaker 2: he doesn't have any money? What if I go out
Speaker 2: with a dude who I think is sugar Daddy? Right,
Speaker 2: the check comes and he's like, all right, well you
Speaker 2: won't put down your.
Speaker 1: How would you imagine I want you to pay one
Speaker 1: hundred percent of it?
Speaker 2: Imagine if you had to pay a half, dude.
Speaker 1: I would gag.
Speaker 2: I would put my card down that Shugard decline here
Speaker 2: like like, excuse me, miss, this card ain't work, and
Speaker 2: I'll be like, I know, but I was just this
Speaker 2: was a courtesy put down. This is a courtesy put
Speaker 2: down my card. I was like, I'm trying to be nice.
Speaker 2: I just put it down to Yeah, but give me,
Speaker 2: give me, come on, give.
Speaker 1: Me my card.
Speaker 2: The bank told us to cut this up. You'd be like,
Speaker 2: all right, well let me get that got of scissors
Speaker 2: in my purse. Yeah, but yeah, I'm gonna do it. I'm
Speaker 2: gonna do it for a week to do it. How
Speaker 2: long is your trial Okay, hold on, let me live
Speaker 2: First of.
Speaker 1: All, what like, I don't want to be on this.
Speaker 2: Who is actually meeting people on sugar Daddy everybody?
Speaker 1: What about Seeking Arrangements? What about that? You're gonna get
Speaker 1: on that too?
Speaker 2: No, I don't want to do two websites. What's the problem, Marie, geez?
Speaker 2: Do you think somebody's not using your face on back
Speaker 2: page already? Like? Oh wow, dude, somebody all for the
Speaker 2: listeners that don't know what that is, tell them what
Speaker 2: the hell back pages? Back Page is basically like an
Speaker 2: escorting service is host and and the thing is is
Speaker 2: that you don't know who is who because all you
Speaker 2: have is somebody's picture, and people be using other people's
Speaker 2: pictures for back Page. You go up and you meet them,
Speaker 2: and you're like, wait a whole minute, you look like
Speaker 2: a whole train station.
Speaker 1: The fuck you look at the train station? How the fuck? Okay?
Speaker 2: So should I be on Seeking Arrangement dot Com or
Speaker 2: sugar daddy dot com because I'm only doing one. We
Speaker 2: should just have the listeners or you always put full
Speaker 2: body put yourself on Instagram? You think somebody's not using
Speaker 2: your whole body? I don't have a lot of full
Speaker 2: bodies on. Yes, Marie, you have enough that I'm like, yo,
Speaker 2: I could deaf photoshop the ship out of this.
Speaker 1: I got any photoshop this ship. That's a lie. It's
Speaker 1: not a lie.
Speaker 2: Three full it's like if you wanted like a Christian backtage. Uh.
Speaker 1: This is like a wholesome girl that's grimmers only dot com.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I had the one where I have that
Speaker 2: rich white girl right which rich white woman shirt on?
Speaker 1: There's like three full bodies. Shut up, Sydney.
Speaker 2: Somebody lies photoshopping their face on your on your face.
Speaker 1: You know what's gonna happen is a comedian is gonna
Speaker 1: be doing a joke.
Speaker 2: He's gonna be working on his sugar Daddy dot com joke,
Speaker 2: and my he's gonna be like, well, let me just
Speaker 2: see what's on the website, and my photo's gonna pop up.
Speaker 2: A nigga be like, oh, Marie is an escort, and
Speaker 2: then it's gonna be like it's gonna be the talk
Speaker 2: of the town.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: But if you already like post on your answer to
Speaker 2: hey dudes, I'm doing something different.
Speaker 1: So I'm doing something brand new, brand new. Listen there.
Speaker 1: I just want to say for this for the Listen.
Speaker 2: It's so much terrible things going on in the world, Like,
Speaker 2: there's so many bad news.
Speaker 1: This podcast is.
Speaker 2: If you literally want a whole hour of foolishness just
Speaker 2: to get your mind off of things. Listen, this is
Speaker 2: what we're doing. I rarely talk about serious things on here.
Speaker 2: And this is why this seeking arrangement stuff is hilarious
Speaker 2: to me, because, first of all, I know you're not
Speaker 2: gonna do it, but if you do do it, it's
Speaker 2: gonna be fucking hilarious. So Seeking Arrangement or sugar daddy
Speaker 2: dot Com Seeking Arrangement sounds better. No, it sounds like
Speaker 2: there's too much like gray area seeking arrange where the successful, wealthy,
Speaker 2: attractive and beautiful people meet.
Speaker 1: That sounds like a whole bunch of lie lie lie.
Speaker 1: But it's an app. Sugar Daddy dot Com don't have
Speaker 1: no app. I like that.
Speaker 2: Let me go to the Seeking Arrangement dot Com app
Speaker 2: opening the app store.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do this one.
Speaker 2: Wow, I'm gonna do a sugar Daddy dot Com I mean,
Speaker 2: seeking arrangement.
Speaker 1: Do you have to pay? Oh? You know what, I
Speaker 1: didn't even check. You know what.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna get another nigga to pay for my seeking
Speaker 2: arrangement profile. And then I'm gonna meet somebody with the
Speaker 2: money and I'm gonna have him pay us for the podcast.
Speaker 1: Join the Patriots.
Speaker 2: We totally need a financial advisor for this.
Speaker 1: No, we need a pay pig. Yeah, but they only
Speaker 1: give twenty dollars a session.
Speaker 2: Okay, Sidney, do you do you have extra twenty dollars
Speaker 2: in your podcast? I actually don't. I'm going to DC, don't.
Speaker 2: I totally need that twenty dollars.
Speaker 1: If who listeners what you're doing in DC this weekend.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be at the Draft House.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna be at the Draft House telling jokes at
Speaker 2: the seven o'clock at nine o'clock show on Friday and Saturday.
Speaker 1: You know, it's gonna be a lot of working on
Speaker 1: things but.
Speaker 2: Also already polished stuff, So it's gonna be a great time.
Speaker 2: It's gonna be me being Michelle from Destiny's Child. It's
Speaker 2: like you've been through this so many times, but you
Speaker 2: still dripping bitch.
Speaker 1: Okay, your wigs still slanted. Whatever. You know, it's gonna
Speaker 1: be fun. I'm gonna have a blast.
Speaker 2: Hold on hold on hold, on, hold, on hold, on.
Speaker 2: Hold on, let's I hear you just saying, say, let's
Speaker 2: put a pen in it.
Speaker 1: Come back.
Speaker 2: Then I put Seeking Arrangement in the app store. What
Speaker 2: popped up was this thing called looks like Luxury Dating app.
Speaker 1: Here's a review ready.
Speaker 2: After breaking up with my first love, I fell into
Speaker 2: a state of depression and lost faith in love.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 2: It took me months to get used to that, and
Speaker 2: during that time my friends were always there and comforting me.
Speaker 2: My best friend advised me, instead of sadness, try to
Speaker 2: find a suitable person through luxury This app suitable, suitable quote,
Speaker 2: moneyed idea. Then I registered to become a member. I
Speaker 2: was totally surprised. It's a dating app dedicated to millionaires
Speaker 2: and beautiful girls. I was paired with an eighteen year
Speaker 2: old girl in California.
Speaker 1: Oh this is the dude. Okay.
Speaker 2: We started talking about life, about hobbies, about work, gradually
Speaker 2: found similarities and officially began dating. Thanks to free unlimited texting,
Speaker 2: we can chat all day. What I bet the girl
Speaker 2: that suited me most and gave us a chance to
Speaker 2: get closer.
Speaker 1: Oh she must be putting it in her butt.
Speaker 2: Yeabsly she's opened that rectum all the way up.
Speaker 1: It's dilated.
Speaker 2: He's so happy the ship was so good that he's like,
Speaker 2: I got to leave a review.
Speaker 1: It was.
Speaker 2: Let me go get in five stars what it is?
Speaker 1: But it has sixteen thousand reviews. Wow. Okay, so how
Speaker 1: do you get on Looks. I'm gonna get on that.
Speaker 1: Let's see, Marie. I think you should do a few.
Speaker 2: I don't hoult yourself. Back says that sounds like too many.
Speaker 2: And you changed and listen, you change your hair up
Speaker 2: all the time. So what that mean you changed your hair?
Speaker 2: They're not gonna notice you. Cash will hook up sixty
Speaker 2: chat night seeking alphas Seeking alphas. Oh that's frat dudes.
Speaker 2: That definitely gang bag alphus looking for alphas. Those are
Speaker 2: dudes in fraternities that are definitely going to run a
Speaker 2: train on you.
Speaker 1: Don't. Nope, no, thank you.
Speaker 2: All right, I'm gonna join Looks and I'll let you guys.
Speaker 2: I'll keep you guys posted. Keep first of all, keep
Speaker 2: me posted by posting. You know what the person look like,
Speaker 2: put it, send me a pen so I know where
Speaker 2: you at. Like allays, okay, I'm I'm gonna joining it today.
Speaker 2: As soon as we finished the podcast, yeah, I feel
Speaker 2: like if you hurry up and join, you can have
Speaker 2: a date by nine o'clock.
Speaker 1: Home alone Beijing. You vision you come on.
Speaker 2: Like in my mind, men with money who are on
Speaker 2: these apps are a little ticky ticky boom, so they
Speaker 2: a little crazy or they're super socially awkward and somewhere
Speaker 2: on the spectrum, because otherwise, like then with money don't
Speaker 2: need to be on the app where they're just giving
Speaker 2: women money to have sex with them.
Speaker 1: There's something wrong with them.
Speaker 2: Someone murder me, Sydney, and you're completely okay with me dying.
Speaker 2: I honestly, my whole world would be upside down if
Speaker 2: you died. And I don't have to keep to your
Speaker 2: apartment to take the clothes, so, oh my god, No,
Speaker 2: I need you to live so you can take my clothes,
Speaker 2: so you can write it in the write whatever in
Speaker 2: the world to me.
Speaker 1: Shut up.
Speaker 2: No, this is gonna be I'm gonna gets exciting. I'm
Speaker 2: so excited for you. I'm gonna get somebody to get
Speaker 2: me an apartment in my name, and then I'm never gonna.
Speaker 1: Talk to you again.
Speaker 2: Are you serious, Hondu. I'm the one that's pushing this
Speaker 2: on you and you're just gonna leave. It's just like
Speaker 2: you host, take take from me and then leave. But
Speaker 2: would you judge a woman? And this is I've never
Speaker 2: had sex for money. If I had, I wouldn't be
Speaker 2: on this podcast right now. It would be somewhere thriving
Speaker 2: in Abizah.
Speaker 1: Have you How do you feel about women who get
Speaker 1: paid to have sex? I'm fine with it.
Speaker 2: It's like, do you girl, just like do it in
Speaker 2: a way that makes sense for you, Like if this
Speaker 2: guy's not paying you enough and then taking advantage of
Speaker 2: you and talking to you any kind of way.
Speaker 1: But what is enough? Like what's enough money for a
Speaker 1: dude to be paying you for one night? For one night?
Speaker 1: I feel like ten hundred dollars, fifteen hundred dollars.
Speaker 2: Yeah, how long you think this guy is gonna have
Speaker 2: sex for? Honestly, probably like thirteen minutes. Yeah, but it's
Speaker 2: for the night, so for their whole night.
Speaker 1: He's spend the night at somebody's house. Yeah, it's probably
Speaker 1: for the whole session.
Speaker 2: So feel like Papa Sea Alis and be like, oh yeah,
Speaker 2: this until eight in the morning. Papa see Alison be like,
Speaker 2: all right, well, we're not sleeping the night, don't go
Speaker 2: ahead and take a day queel drink a red Bull. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and I'm gonna have that astroglide waiting for that ass.
Speaker 2: Astro Glide Is that lub for hood people? Is that
Speaker 2: loop for people who wear do rags outside? Uh?
Speaker 1: Astro glide? It's fifteen hundred dollars enough for you listeners.
Speaker 2: No, it's not. It's just I feel like you need
Speaker 2: to give me whatever they offered me. I'm gonna just
Speaker 2: double it. I'm like, okay, well, I could come for
Speaker 2: three thousand dollars, but I actually feel like I would
Speaker 2: feel disgusting, I think, and then I would deposit the money.
Speaker 1: And you're like, I feel great, it's a beautiful day.
Speaker 1: What if they venmo you? You're like, I need cash.
Speaker 2: I need cash, and you need to put me in
Speaker 2: my cash in an uber X so that I can
Speaker 2: go home. And actually I don't even want you to
Speaker 2: know where I live, So just drop me out by
Speaker 2: Sydney's house. Sidney's house, and then I'll just pack an
Speaker 2: uberpool from there.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, the bus with three grand in my
Speaker 1: back yard. You're stupid. Who's selling ass or a backpack?
Speaker 1: One like? No, well, you don't know what I got
Speaker 1: in my backpack. Shut up, Sydney. I think this is
Speaker 1: gonna be a great time. I'm so excited for the story. No,
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm going to get murdered.
Speaker 2: You're not, like, it's just like living if I if
Speaker 2: I do the if I make a profile and all
Speaker 2: the pictures is me and you, and then the dudes
Speaker 2: have to take us out.
Speaker 1: Oh I'm okay. That's perfect for me. That's so good.
Speaker 2: I stay hungry, right right right, Yellow, you could do
Speaker 2: three pictures you meet and my girlfriend Adrian's not going
Speaker 2: out with any of these dudes.
Speaker 1: She's definitely not, and she's gonna be real nasty.
Speaker 2: Adrian, no money, Adrian, come on, you gotta take one
Speaker 2: for the team.
Speaker 1: She's like, I've been taking one for the.
Speaker 2: D I'm like, Adrian, you gotta take a dick for
Speaker 2: the team. No, she's like, I've been taking a dick
Speaker 2: for the team. Aka Sydney. She's taking the dick me
Speaker 2: strapping on for her sister. I mean just taking taking
Speaker 2: me on the whole situation. I'm not sure what you're saying.
Speaker 2: It sounds like you be strapping on from I'm just
Speaker 2: saying taking on me in a relationship is a lot.
Speaker 2: Sounds like you have a dick in your backpack. Oh
Speaker 2: my god, who would do such a thing? You?
Speaker 1: So we had a great time at the pool. Uh.
Speaker 2: In other news, did you hear about the story about
Speaker 2: the soccer team that's stuck in a cave in Thailand?
Speaker 2: Let's talk about this, because you were trying to tell
Speaker 2: me the story and I was like, that feels like
Speaker 2: some of the information is missing. It's probably is any
Speaker 2: google this, Go ahead and tell the story. Yeah, but basically,
Speaker 2: it was a soccer team they went into rainforest, and
Speaker 2: it's just.
Speaker 1: Like, Eh, why are we going into rainforest? Isn't there
Speaker 1: were enough movies.
Speaker 2: Even real stories where people in the rainforest and then
Speaker 2: something bad happens and everybody's dead. I don't want to
Speaker 2: go to a rainform. I don't want to do no tours.
Speaker 2: I don't in a rainforest. I'm all sad. How do
Speaker 2: you feel about a safari ride? I don't want to
Speaker 2: do a safari right either? You we out here in
Speaker 2: the wild. These niggas do whatever they want. Okay, A
Speaker 2: lion don't care about you. You don't care about your binoculars?
Speaker 1: You want in? Yeah, Okay, here we go.
Speaker 2: Let's let's talk about tell the people. So it's in Thailand. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I was right about that. That's one fact that was right. Okay,
Speaker 2: let's get into the story here. Let me scroll down
Speaker 2: waters being Okay, hold on one moment. One you're trying
Speaker 2: to get the bullet points and it's like, bitch, I
Speaker 2: told you the story.
Speaker 1: What's going? Did you tell us the story?
Speaker 2: Because I don't feel like we even know what to
Speaker 2: tell the story is. It's probably not tell the story
Speaker 2: one more time.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 2: So the soccer team, there's a teacher and there's like
Speaker 2: thirteen other players or kids.
Speaker 1: They're in the rainforest. They're trekking whatever.
Speaker 2: They get into a cave and they're like, oh, let's
Speaker 2: go in the cave, and all of a sudden, there's
Speaker 2: torrential downpours. It starts raining in the rainforest. And the
Speaker 2: way it works in the rainforest, it's rain season right now.
Speaker 2: So it's raining, raining, raindy renny, and the cave is
Speaker 2: filling up, so they have to go deeper and deeper
Speaker 2: into the cave so that they can go up so
Speaker 2: that the water doesn't hit them. So they're one hundred
Speaker 2: feet above ground or something like that no below ground
Speaker 2: in the cave. So now the cave is just full
Speaker 2: of water. And in order for them to get out
Speaker 2: of the cave, they have to dive. They have to
Speaker 2: dive in this water to get out. These kids don't
Speaker 2: know how to dive.
Speaker 1: Why hell? And they bring them into the cave in
Speaker 1: the first.
Speaker 2: Where was this cave that I bet you there was
Speaker 2: one kid that was like, Nah, I don't want to
Speaker 2: do this, and everybody's like.
Speaker 1: Come on, They're like, oh, be a pussy grid, come on,
Speaker 1: let's do it. And there's that one kid is like
Speaker 1: the in the cave right now.
Speaker 2: Like I told y'all, niggas not that we shouldn't have
Speaker 2: gone in this fucking cave. So yeah, they had to
Speaker 2: send they had to send food into this cave. They
Speaker 2: have like a doctor that also knows how to dive.
Speaker 2: He came, he brought food, he's he said he was
Speaker 2: going to stay with them for a little bit. So
Speaker 2: if they don't get out in time, they will have
Speaker 2: to be in that cave for four months. I'm so confused.
Speaker 2: I'm so confused. I'm trying to look at the story
Speaker 2: and I'm telling you the story. I know the coach
Speaker 2: brought these kids into a cave. Yes, and then it
Speaker 2: started raining and then now they're trapped in this cave.
Speaker 1: But divers have to bring them food. Yes, the divers.
Speaker 2: Divers can't bring them back up, like they can't bring
Speaker 2: no scuba masks down and like bring them back up.
Speaker 1: It's thirteen kids. These kids don't know how to dive.
Speaker 2: Diving is not an easy People go to school to dive, right.
Speaker 2: But if I'm a lifeguard and somebody's drowning, I just
Speaker 2: take that person and pull them all the way up.
Speaker 2: And then that's not how they're They're so deep in
Speaker 2: the cave that you can't just do right.
Speaker 1: But you hear what I'm saying, can't we just put
Speaker 1: some scooba.
Speaker 2: Gear on these kids and then they're breathing air because
Speaker 2: they got a tango one and I'm just dragging them
Speaker 2: up to the surface.
Speaker 1: They don't have scooba gear in Thai Land. They got
Speaker 1: drunken noodles. They got pineapple rice. Wow, Marie, you're gonna
Speaker 1: go there. They got peanut You're gonna go.
Speaker 2: There's kids lives on the wrist on the line, and
Speaker 2: you're gonna make jokes like that.
Speaker 1: They but you know what these get should have done.
Speaker 1: They should have went on seeking a rage.
Speaker 2: Read dot Com found a rich dude to pay them
Speaker 2: to learn how to swim.
Speaker 1: Oh my god.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but it's but imagine if I was stuck in
Speaker 2: this kid, I don't know how to swim, and I
Speaker 2: don't know how to die.
Speaker 1: I want to came in.
Speaker 2: I want to First of all, I'm not going into
Speaker 2: the rainforest one second. I'm not going into a cave
Speaker 2: with a bunch of dudes. That's not my ministry. So
Speaker 2: I wouldn't have been stuck there. My heart goes out
Speaker 2: to these freaking kids. Oh your heart's and I'm not
Speaker 2: your entire heart. And I'm not mad at the soccer teacher,
Speaker 2: but I'm like, you should have just known better.
Speaker 1: And how did they know that it wasn't going to
Speaker 1: rain that day?
Speaker 2: Because I feel like when it's about to rain, you
Speaker 2: can tell it's going to rain today.
Speaker 1: They don't look at the ACI weather, a weather they
Speaker 1: don't have.
Speaker 2: Eyewitness news in Thailand called them a soccer teacher. It's
Speaker 2: a soccer coach, soccer coach whatever. He was an assistant
Speaker 2: coach a day. And so it's one thing if we're
Speaker 2: in the cave and we're dead. But it's all these
Speaker 2: parents waiting like they're on edge because their kids are alive.
Speaker 2: We just can't get to them. That's scary as fuck.
Speaker 2: So okay, well we'll follow this story. It don't make
Speaker 2: no sense to me. I just feel like they can
Speaker 2: get some scuba gear on these kids and pull them up,
Speaker 2: get some titanic doors floating in the water, and then
Speaker 2: just throw a bunch of kids on this door. No,
Speaker 2: if it was that simple, they would do it. That's
Speaker 2: not the case, my friend. All right, well, let's talk
Speaker 2: about what we were experts in this week. My friend, Oh,
Speaker 2: I went to the gym yesterday. My stomach is very sore.
Speaker 2: I did abs yesterday. But also it could be cramps
Speaker 2: from my period. So I'm not really sure why my
Speaker 2: sun may hurts so much. But you're an expert in
Speaker 2: I'm an expert in. I feel like take I'm an
Speaker 2: expert in just doing what I want to do. This week,
Speaker 2: I got a roommate. She moved in the day before
Speaker 2: the end of the month. Look, my God always provides
Speaker 2: roommates to pay the bills. Okay, first and last, first,
Speaker 2: first and last, first month, and security okay, And Sydney
Speaker 2: and her girlfriend were at the park having a picnic,
Speaker 2: and as soon as my roommate got here, they were like, ugh,
Speaker 2: we're leaving the park.
Speaker 1: We've been here for too long. It's hot. We're waiting
Speaker 1: hours for you.
Speaker 2: Anyway, So then I met up with David, our guests
Speaker 2: a few weeks ago, our events expert, and he was like, Oh,
Speaker 2: were in the park, walking distance from your house and
Speaker 2: I'm on shrooms and I was like, oh my god,
Speaker 2: is this the first time the time that I tried shrooms? Okay,
Speaker 2: So I got to the park and it's a bunch
Speaker 2: of like fabulous gay men and like I want to say,
Speaker 2: two straight women and me the queen that I am,
Speaker 2: and they're drinking shroom tea like they had just steeped
Speaker 2: to the mushrooms and some tea, and I was like, oh,
Speaker 2: everybody is rolling right now, like everybody was like beautifully high.
Speaker 2: I was like, I can't wait to be this high
Speaker 2: on these shrooms. I had some tea, nothing, I have
Speaker 2: more tea, nothing. I'm eating the mushrooms feeling nothing. They're
Speaker 2: like like, wow, look at.
Speaker 1: The trees dancing.
Speaker 2: I'm like, that's what I want. To feel like I
Speaker 2: want that, you know, like I got edibles at the house.
Speaker 2: I'm taking some edibles and felt exactly what you'all feel
Speaker 2: right now. You want trees dancing, bitch, you want to crack,
Speaker 2: you do some crack. The trees definitely dance.
Speaker 1: Now. Is that what happened there? What's the crack?
Speaker 2: High?
Speaker 1: My my friend, my queen? Shut up? Wait, hold on,
Speaker 1: hold on.
Speaker 2: So I'm like, damn, I'm so mad that these shrooms
Speaker 2: never really hit me. This guy was like, I got
Speaker 2: some mole. I was like at the park. I said, no,
Speaker 2: I think I'm okay. It was a Saturday.
Speaker 1: He was like, uh.
Speaker 2: So he pulls out this little vialm HM with like
Speaker 2: white powder, and I'm like, is that the molly because
Speaker 2: a lot of people assume that molly is in pill
Speaker 2: form like I did before I did MOLLI, but it's
Speaker 2: like a powder that you mixing your liquids and then
Speaker 2: you drink the malli.
Speaker 1: So he was like, I got Malli.
Speaker 2: I was like, no, that's not what I just wanted
Speaker 2: to do some like healthy ass herbal shroom tea. And
Speaker 2: then he pulls this powder out and I'm like, oh,
Speaker 2: is that molly? He was like, no, it's coke. And
Speaker 2: I was like, I'm out to wing cocaine with you
Speaker 2: a four PM at the park. They are children present,
Speaker 2: and this dude poured the cocaine on his phone screen okay,
Speaker 2: and then just started doing lines of cocaine at the park.
Speaker 2: So I feel like I'm an expert really at not
Speaker 2: snitching on So.
Speaker 1: You said no to all of the drugs.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean the shroom said no to me, and
Speaker 2: then I said no to the cocaine. What you think
Speaker 2: I should have done so molly at the park? No,
Speaker 2: because you don't know who this person is and you
Speaker 2: don't know what what they cut with the mally.
Speaker 1: It could be anything. It could have been it could
Speaker 1: have been crack. E've been meth.
Speaker 2: It could have been heroin, it could have been speed.
Speaker 2: It's too much. Listen, people who are listening right now,
Speaker 2: don't trust everybody with your drugs. Okay, you can. I'm
Speaker 2: already somebody who does not do drugs.
Speaker 1: You really really can't, you know.
Speaker 2: I feel like I do Mali once a year on
Speaker 2: my birthday, my birthdays in September.
Speaker 1: It's not time for me to be doing Maley right now.
Speaker 2: And I'll tell you this. I have done drugs with
Speaker 2: all of the strangers and all of the people, and.
Speaker 1: It's scary you.
Speaker 2: But you gotta go in fearless and be like, I'm
Speaker 2: just doing it. But if you start thinking about what
Speaker 2: anything and everything could be mixed with, you will go nuts.
Speaker 1: So if you're gonna do it, do it.
Speaker 2: But I just prefer if you if listen, if a
Speaker 2: nigga's just pulling out.
Speaker 1: Coke in the park at four pm.
Speaker 2: You don't want to know that coke, you don't want
Speaker 2: none of it. That street you it's oh man, that's
Speaker 2: the type of coke that'd be like, yeah, I'm doing
Speaker 2: coke at four pm.
Speaker 1: They can see their Yelp reviews for this cocaine. Yeah,
Speaker 1: like what is this and where is it from?
Speaker 2: I don't recommend it. I don't recommend it. So what
Speaker 2: were you an expert in this week? What was that
Speaker 2: an expert in this week? Having your tittas out? Relationship
Speaker 2: fan relationships.
Speaker 1: It's just that.
Speaker 2: Sounds like another way of you saying friendship, which is
Speaker 2: what you usually do. No, me and my me and
Speaker 2: Adrian Dude, It's like it's just like it's too hot
Speaker 2: in the apartment it's it's like a thousand degrees and
Speaker 2: we got seven fans and Adrian is you know, all.
Speaker 1: Seven fans but no air conditioner.
Speaker 2: No, she's off from work for the summer, devastating, so
Speaker 2: she's home. So and you know, I'm not doing everything
Speaker 2: I need to do.
Speaker 1: I'm not watching it.
Speaker 2: This is the way I'm not doing I'm not doing
Speaker 2: enough in the house. So you can't just not be
Speaker 2: doing enough in the house and it be a thousand
Speaker 2: degrees because every little thing is going to make you mad.
Speaker 2: Any little crumb I've dropped on, Like she's yelling at
Speaker 2: me about this crumb, But the crumb is really this
Speaker 2: bigger crumb than Youah, it's a symbol, symbolism of all
Speaker 2: the bullshit you've done for four years. That's what it is.
Speaker 2: I can't believe all have been together for four years.
Speaker 2: That is the craziest part of the relationship to me. Okay,
Speaker 2: so every time, every morning, it's kind of like, what
Speaker 2: are we doing? And it's like, what do you mean
Speaker 2: we're living together, We're in a relationship, and it's like, no, She's.
Speaker 1: Like, what are we doing together?
Speaker 2: Yes, it's a thousand degrees in here and it's making
Speaker 2: me evaluate everything.
Speaker 1: So what are you going? What are y'all doing? I
Speaker 1: gotta get this ac you're gonna.
Speaker 2: Get in their conditions, I gotta get No, she doesn't,
Speaker 2: so you're gonna get it in and then just like
Speaker 2: knock all her fans down.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 2: But relationships are about compromise, and it's about understanding, and
Speaker 2: it's about meeting in the mid and me at this
Speaker 2: moment in my life is very hard for me to
Speaker 2: just walk to the middle.
Speaker 1: It's so easy to get there, but it's so hard
Speaker 1: for me.
Speaker 2: Why I feel like you're good at well, maybe you're
Speaker 2: different in relationships. I just feel like as a friend,
Speaker 2: you seem like somebody who's like and that came above
Speaker 2: and beyond to like please your friends.
Speaker 1: That's what was in the conversation. Adrian said that, yeah,
Speaker 1: she's like, you got you got Marie cupcakes for her birthday.
Speaker 2: You didn't give me cupcakes for my birthdays in September, y'all?
Speaker 1: She bring it up September stuff, yes girl, yes, yes, So.
Speaker 2: The crumb on the floor was a cupcake crem It's
Speaker 2: a crumb for everything, and she bought that up. And
Speaker 2: I'm but I get it. I get it. I'm like,
Speaker 2: I'm I'm shitty. I need to be better. But it's
Speaker 2: just so hard because when is it? Birthday in February
Speaker 2: twenty eighth, but your birthday is February second.
Speaker 1: Yes, oh, y'all the same month? Are you guys the
Speaker 1: same time? No, she's a pissy, So.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna cur that does mean signs is means absolutely nothing,
Speaker 2: nothing to Okay, sorry David, but signs were dumb also, Carolina,
Speaker 2: They're stupid.
Speaker 1: But so she brought up the cupcakes for my birthday.
Speaker 1: But I thought you got her cupcakes for her birthday
Speaker 1: this year?
Speaker 2: Did but you were first, so fact had I had
Speaker 2: just found out about the cupcakes, So that's why I
Speaker 2: got your cupcakes first. Okay, let's backtrack for a moment.
Speaker 2: My birthday is in September. Her birthday was February twenty something. Yeah,
Speaker 2: you got her cupcakes this year or no I did?
Speaker 2: So why is she bringing up you getting me cupcass
Speaker 2: from my birthday? I have brought up I got you
Speaker 2: cupcakes first, though, this was like a couple of years ago.
Speaker 1: Remember the Remember.
Speaker 2: The first time I got you cupcakes with your face
Speaker 2: on it?
Speaker 1: She bringing up cupcakes from twenty sixteen. When is that happens?
Speaker 1: That's how burning up my heart is like burning up
Speaker 1: fight you.
Speaker 2: I'm yeah, listen, uh so, y'all i'llgue about that, and
Speaker 2: then what else have you guys.
Speaker 1: Argued about this week?
Speaker 2: It's just like, because this feels like peak, don't need
Speaker 2: a girlfriend's season. This is like, leave whoever you with
Speaker 2: to go be up under some BTUs, some real BTUs
Speaker 2: over five thousand bts. This is like ten thousand BTUs
Speaker 2: type type relationship situation.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna put that in my sugar daddy dot com profile.
Speaker 2: Yes, you must have over ten thousand BTUs and regular
Speaker 2: rent payments. You know what, You're gonna get the best
Speaker 2: of the best because you're not even asking for that much.
Speaker 1: Ac.
Speaker 2: No, that's a that's gonna be a dude who lives
Speaker 2: with his like colleague quote unquote, and he's gonna be like,
Speaker 2: I have an air conditioner. Poor people got air conditioners.
Speaker 2: People in this building that live with me got air conditioners. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it's not wealth, you're right. Uh so, Yeah, I'm an
Speaker 2: expert in fucking up in a relationship peru.
Speaker 1: And then I'm an expert in but what did you
Speaker 1: do wrong? You did you did? Say? Any examples? Everything wrong?
Speaker 2: Dude, Like, I'm always fucking up. I feel like you
Speaker 2: need to work on your self esteem. My self esteem
Speaker 2: is high. I just know I do everything wrong saying
Speaker 2: it is and honest as I'm very real about how
Speaker 2: I am in this relationship. I need to do better.
Speaker 2: I suck being with a comic. I already know, like
Speaker 2: we're self absorbed. We're narcissistic all the time. Girl, it's
Speaker 2: all about us. I'm not narcissistic. I am stunning. Bit
Speaker 2: shut up, Yes you are. I'm like, wait, are you delusional?
Speaker 2: You are beautiful, but you're be getting hundreds pound hundred
Speaker 2: years also a narcissist and narcissist.
Speaker 1: People you can't stop looking at themselves in the mirror. Well,
Speaker 1: I guess maybe that's me, But I'm a Christian narcissist.
Speaker 1: You know what. I can't shut up. Let me tell
Speaker 1: you something.
Speaker 2: I had a show. Oh I think I talked about
Speaker 2: this on the last episode. I didn't book something and
Speaker 2: my mom was like, you didn't book it because you
Speaker 2: don't pray. Oh the thing that I went to, girl, honestly,
Speaker 2: you would have went there just for just just for
Speaker 2: the experience to go for a day.
Speaker 1: But in actuality, it was low key waste of time.
Speaker 1: Just Sidney and I both.
Speaker 2: Interviewed for this thing, this casting thing, and they flew
Speaker 2: to Neto La and they didn't fly me out.
Speaker 1: And my mom was like, it's because you don't pray, Marie.
Speaker 1: I don't pray either, niggas though, I said, And my
Speaker 1: mom was.
Speaker 2: Like, she must pray more than you, Like they don't pray.
Speaker 2: I do pray. I pray for us. You pray for us, yeah,
Speaker 2: I do. I pray for you, pray for us to
Speaker 2: not be poor. Yeah. I pray for the podcast every
Speaker 2: single day. I'm like, pray for all the thousands of people.
Speaker 1: Dude.
Speaker 2: I was like, there's no reason why we should know
Speaker 2: be on TV.
Speaker 1: There.
Speaker 2: They gave these people who are podcast this platform. We
Speaker 2: should have the same ship name name sis.
Speaker 1: I'm not. I'm just saying we are fucking just.
Speaker 2: As hilarious, just as witty, wittier.
Speaker 1: I mean, you be punching up all the ship. Me.
Speaker 1: I'm being very long winded, and you know you're like, Okay,
Speaker 1: get to the punchline. It's coming. Don't worry.
Speaker 2: But this ship is great, our chemistry is outstanding. There's
Speaker 2: no no due out out there. There's no do out
Speaker 2: there that looks like us, No that sounds like us.
Speaker 1: None. They have no qualm, not these ugly podcast TV.
Speaker 1: Come on, Come on with the show, y'all. No, this
Speaker 1: is we're not We don't have a we don't have
Speaker 1: a hook.
Speaker 2: No. If I get some old you know what when
Speaker 2: Kim Zosiak was on Real Housewifter and she was banging
Speaker 2: Big Papa or whatever his name was, some married old
Speaker 2: rich man who I guess paid for her original face,
Speaker 2: her first surgery or whatever.
Speaker 1: That was Kim's storyline.
Speaker 2: That and she used to wear wigs and she said
Speaker 2: she had I want to say al paca, but that's
Speaker 2: not what it's called.
Speaker 1: You got that out packed she had? Is wrong with you, Marie?
Speaker 1: Why do you wear wigs?
Speaker 2: Because I have alba, she had el paka, she had alopecia.
Speaker 1: She didn't even have alopecia. She just doesn't like doing
Speaker 1: her hair.
Speaker 2: I mean, I don't think that anybody anywhere in the
Speaker 2: world should be trusting a white woman that wears wigs
Speaker 2: every day. A wig, not clippings, not extensions, but like
Speaker 2: a full blown, went to the beauty supply store threw
Speaker 2: on a wig.
Speaker 1: Wig.
Speaker 2: You can't trust white women like that, or white women
Speaker 2: that were blue and have oak Lea's on and come
Speaker 2: out to parks and be like y'are not supposed to
Speaker 2: be grilling out. I still don't fucking believe how we
Speaker 2: still don't have a fuck show.
Speaker 1: I'm blown away.
Speaker 2: The fact I'm flabbergasting because it's like, it's so simple.
Speaker 1: It's the simplest show ever.
Speaker 2: And I watched these other shows and I'm like, just
Speaker 2: as simple.
Speaker 1: Thirty minutes.
Speaker 2: We're not asking for money if the set doesn't even
Speaker 2: cost that much money. We got a little audience, Yeah,
Speaker 2: we get a little cute audience. We watch What Happens
Speaker 2: live type of audience. It's not even gonna be them.
Speaker 1: We need twelve people. We got. We have a couple,
Speaker 1: we got a couple of segments. We got a guess.
Speaker 2: We got us Like, what the fuck? Okay, well, let's
Speaker 2: take a step back. We're doing a live show of
Speaker 2: our podcast. This the people that you love, greatest people
Speaker 2: you'll ever meet in your life. Cut and Gaunt at
Speaker 2: the Ludlow House on August fifteenth. It's a Wednesday, the
Speaker 2: show is free. Come, we'll buy drinks. And by will
Speaker 2: buy drinks, I mean we're gonna go to the bar
Speaker 2: and be like, well, we're doing the show, can we
Speaker 2: get this many of us a rose. Yeah, we're gonna
Speaker 2: if you if you listen to the podcast and you
Speaker 2: come to see us, we'll get you some some drinks.
Speaker 1: Yes.
Speaker 2: I mean technically we can only have thirty thirty people.
Speaker 1: Sid I say that, but only thirty people can come.
Speaker 2: Only thirty people can come because say it's a it's
Speaker 2: a private, it's a member is only members only, so
Speaker 2: they're going to have their members come. But you know,
Speaker 2: we'll do what we can to get you in thirty
Speaker 2: people from the pocket. Mind you, I met Mitch. Mitch
Speaker 2: listened to the podcast. He came to the show last week.
Speaker 1: I don't know if he's.
Speaker 2: Sliding your dms, but yeah, he's super tall.
Speaker 1: I have.
Speaker 2: I will say this, the people who listen to the
Speaker 2: Undivisual Expert, they're all super fine for no reasons. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it's super tracked. We got good looking folks. Y'all are beautiful.
Speaker 2: I never met one person that was to the podcast
Speaker 2: that was unattracted.
Speaker 1: It's true and it's because of the energy that shade,
Speaker 1: the shade that we give huge.
Speaker 2: People are like, oh, I got to be attractive to
Speaker 2: listen to this podcast.
Speaker 1: We got to be attracted to approach them. I don't know,
Speaker 1: I don't know what's going on.
Speaker 2: But everybody that's been sliding in my dms and like
Speaker 2: follows me on Twitter or Instagram, that's like, oh, I
Speaker 2: love the pocket.
Speaker 1: Everybody's attractive. Yeah, we're so blessed. It's true. And it's like.
Speaker 2: I'm just every day I'll look at a show and
Speaker 2: I'll watch it and I got hat in my blood
Speaker 2: because I'll be like this, this is on here, this
Speaker 2: on TV.
Speaker 1: This is on TV, and they still get why why
Speaker 1: not us?
Speaker 2: But you know it's gonna come and God, I'm gonna
Speaker 2: pray some more. Get I got you. My prayers are
Speaker 2: gonna be up.
Speaker 1: And we don't work on it, these other shows get canceled.
Speaker 1: What are you praying for? No? I don't want anybody. No,
Speaker 1: I don't want anybody to show to get canceled. That's
Speaker 1: not right.
Speaker 2: I don't want that. I just want, you know, the
Speaker 2: next level for us, And we gotta maybe, maybe we
Speaker 2: gotta think of something else. Other than the unofficial expert.
Speaker 2: Maybe this is not the thing that we can pitch
Speaker 2: at the moment. Okay, so what are you trying to pitch?
Speaker 1: Like in an ideal world, like what's popping right now,
Speaker 1: lots of.
Speaker 2: Reality shows with women throwing wineglasses, a lot of contour
Speaker 2: to makeup is in right now. Lots of love and
Speaker 2: hip hops are super popular right now. But that's what
Speaker 2: the black community. You know, white people watch it. What
Speaker 2: are the whites doing?
Speaker 1: That should be a new segment. What are the whites doing? One?
Speaker 1: Are the whites up to?
Speaker 2: That's a great white up Because we are trying to
Speaker 2: find like build in segments for the podcast because we
Speaker 2: don't have any.
Speaker 1: It's just like an ongoing Allegedly, we ramble a lot
Speaker 1: of podcast.
Speaker 2: It's a run on sentence for so whole fucking by
Speaker 2: you goose from the back. Yes, shout out to Jesus
Speaker 2: and Mary. We let him niggas you love them the back.
Speaker 2: I love those guys so much. Anyway, No, so we
Speaker 2: gotta think of more segments so that we can.
Speaker 1: Put it right. Anyway, Since here's a segment right here,
Speaker 1: what are the whites up to?
Speaker 2: You?
Speaker 1: What a what a what a white people like right now?
Speaker 2: Therapy teen they love therapy, So I gotta do a
Speaker 2: ted talk like I gotta do like remember I told you,
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, I want to do the show
Speaker 2: where one person goes in a stall and then the
Speaker 2: therapist is in a stall and then people just like
Speaker 2: bear their souls and then we try to find out. No,
Speaker 2: who's who threw the sneakers? No, friend, do you hear me? Friends,
Speaker 2: I'm not going I'm not waiting in a bathroom to
Speaker 2: give white people advice.
Speaker 1: I do that for.
Speaker 2: Free on the train. I do that on the radio,
Speaker 2: I do that on this podcast. I do it on
Speaker 2: people's comments on Instagram. I'd be like, sis, I wouldn't
Speaker 2: have worn that blouse. I give white people advice regularly
Speaker 2: for free, and I don't have to be in a
Speaker 2: funkyest bathroom to do it. So that next friend, what
Speaker 2: what's trending right now?
Speaker 1: What are the whites up to?
Speaker 2: They're always doing some kind of prank shit that is like,
Speaker 2: you should have no friends pranks. You're doing this to
Speaker 2: your people that you love. I would never do that
Speaker 2: to somebody that I actually like. I will say this though,
Speaker 2: there's this girl that I discovered on she keeps being
Speaker 2: reposted on my Twitter page, and I don't know what
Speaker 2: it is. She's like a young, like light skin, like
Speaker 2: a mixed black chick, right, and her I don't know.
Speaker 1: Her mom is this old white lady.
Speaker 2: And the first video that I saw on Twitter that
Speaker 2: somebody reposted, she was in the room like dancing and
Speaker 2: the mom bust in the room.
Speaker 1: Oh I saw. She's like they said that. She said,
Speaker 1: you got your funny you're stripping on cameras. That's her mom.
Speaker 2: And I'm saying that because so apparently her the little
Speaker 2: the girl's little sister snitched.
Speaker 1: On her and the mom came in and was like
Speaker 1: yelling at her for trying to strip.
Speaker 2: Uh. And then I saw a video yesterday of the
Speaker 2: two of them in the kitchen and she was like, Mom,
Speaker 2: I think I want to be a stripper, and the
Speaker 2: mom was like.
Speaker 1: Strip, strip, stripper. She was like, what you go strip?
Speaker 1: You ain't got nothing that doesn't somebody wants to see.
Speaker 2: It's so good southern white lady yelling at her mixed
Speaker 2: black daughter.
Speaker 1: And she's like, been there, done that.
Speaker 2: I used to strip And I was like wow, and
Speaker 2: she was like, I feel like I could get like
Speaker 2: one thousand dollars a night. The mom said, you gotta
Speaker 2: do a lot more than strip to get that much
Speaker 2: money and that yo. I said, Gladys, what does that
Speaker 2: even mean?
Speaker 1: I care? Did her mom does admit.
Speaker 2: To like sucking dig on the side in the champagne room.
Speaker 2: What's the tea? I fucking can anyway? I don't know
Speaker 2: what these what the girl's name is, but it seems
Speaker 2: like she just she sets her phone up and then
Speaker 2: she just gets her mom yelling at her.
Speaker 1: Fucking crying.
Speaker 2: Videos are so funny, this is so this is too
Speaker 2: much for me right now. She's like, strip, you gotta
Speaker 2: do a whole lot more than dance to make that
Speaker 2: much in the night. I was like, Oh, she gotta
Speaker 2: sell drugs too, She got to traffic them in her
Speaker 2: corca corca?
Speaker 1: Is that where we.
Speaker 2: Gotta come up with new words for our genitals. That's
Speaker 2: a segment when I was little, new word?
Speaker 1: Who is? What that is? What that is? It's what
Speaker 1: are the whites watching? And what that is? Segment? We're
Speaker 1: coming up? I love it. We are really moving towards greatness.
Speaker 1: We're moving anyway.
Speaker 2: I don't even know what else I wanted to say
Speaker 2: to you, guys, I am gonna download this ass. You
Speaker 2: are going to be a whole this summer. Be a hole,
Speaker 2: but only in Central Air. I'm not gonna be a who.
Speaker 2: If you got a box fan in the window, no way.
Speaker 2: If you got a box fan, then you don't deserve
Speaker 2: my box no fam.
Speaker 1: If you have a box fan, you don't.
Speaker 2: I will say this though, if you listen to the
Speaker 2: podcast and you come see us, please continue to approach
Speaker 2: us the way that y'all have been approaching us. The
Speaker 2: energy is so cute, the vibe is so real. I
Speaker 2: haven't been I feel like a lot of I feel
Speaker 2: like a.
Speaker 1: Lot of people from the podcast have been coming to
Speaker 1: the show. Oh they have. They come and they come
Speaker 1: back and they're like, I love you, guys, I love
Speaker 1: the podcast.
Speaker 2: The other day I got a text mesage that said
Speaker 2: Marie Marie called you her best friend. I was like, really,
Speaker 2: who sent you that text? I'm not saying who, but
Speaker 2: sounds like Adrian, has Marie ever called you her best friend?
Speaker 1: In person? I was like, she would never. What in
Speaker 1: the Lisa Frank, Lisa? What in the Trapper? Keeper? The
Speaker 1: five star first get in the Trapper keeper Hill.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, dude, it sounds like some Lisa Frank
Speaker 2: somebody with hard eyes was like, hey, Sid, she caught
Speaker 2: you her best friend at the show and you weren't
Speaker 2: there and I missed.
Speaker 1: Go shut up. I hate everybody. For those of you
Speaker 1: who haven't seen The Incredibles, to you in theaters, it's
Speaker 1: so good. Did you see it when I went to
Speaker 1: It's so good. It's so cheap too. I like Jack
Speaker 1: Jack and Auntie Edna.
Speaker 2: Everything that Jack Jack does and and Edna does, I'm
Speaker 2: here for Jack. Jack is literally a mood. He's like
Speaker 2: I'm doing all the moods. He's like, I'm doing whatever
Speaker 2: I want. And you know, whenever he would get mad
Speaker 2: about it, I was like, yo, that's me. Every time
Speaker 2: I look at my bank account into that like grimlin thing,
Speaker 2: that's me, dude, fucking me.
Speaker 1: My butt itches, mine's too.
Speaker 2: We were in that pool and we did not take
Speaker 2: a bath yet, and then I sat on the train.
Speaker 1: If your butt's itching, you know, my butt's on fire?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: But is on fire?
Speaker 2: Is there anything that you want to leave the listeners with.
Speaker 2: We've got about ten minutes left, sis. I think you
Speaker 2: guys should add all the networks and be like, how
Speaker 2: come these girls don't have a TV show?
Speaker 1: How come these girls are our TV? They are TV ready.
Speaker 2: I mean Sydney needs to learn some new words and
Speaker 2: possibly you know, speak better English, which you know, she
Speaker 2: looks great on TV.
Speaker 1: She does, she's she's ready for TV.
Speaker 2: I'm so ready for TV, physically ready, physically ready, just
Speaker 2: mentally are you prepared? Just have me on mute. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I'm just gonna shake my head. What I'm just gonna
Speaker 2: shake my head every time we talk.
Speaker 1: I don't think you're ready for TV. And that's why
Speaker 1: we're not booking that.
Speaker 2: They're booking things that we're all God, So you're blaming
Speaker 2: it on me, Yes, you're blaming it on me. I'm
Speaker 2: ready blame it on that. No, here's another one. Blame
Speaker 2: it on the rain. Yeah yeah, oh, here's another segment.
Speaker 2: Blame it on the whites. What are we blaming on
Speaker 2: the whites today?
Speaker 1: Uh?
Speaker 2: Well, gentrification is that its highest rat's peak.
Speaker 1: I mean the most hood ist neighborhoods that you're like,
Speaker 1: ain't nobody hit here? All of them are coming out.
Speaker 2: They're coming out in their Madwell shorts, they're Midwell Maywell.
Speaker 1: Whatever the fuck, they're Madwell, how.
Speaker 2: You call it, whatever you call it, their ninety eight
Speaker 2: degree shorts. Yeah, the shorts to be real short. So
Speaker 2: what you're saying, you're blaming white people for gentrification. I
Speaker 2: mean they're just thriving right now. They don't even care
Speaker 2: that they're, you know, out here taking up all of
Speaker 2: the apartments.
Speaker 1: Sidney, what are you looking at on your phone?
Speaker 2: Because you are clearly distracted and the listeners want to
Speaker 2: know I'm looking at my butt.
Speaker 1: I was like, wow, I need to go to the gym.
Speaker 2: Also, shout out to your sister for having boot camp.
Speaker 1: It's gonna be this Saturday, right.
Speaker 2: My sister does a boot camp every Saturday in Washington
Speaker 2: Square Park. Everybody that's listening that lives in New York
Speaker 2: or the Tri state area can come. It's like twenty bucks,
Speaker 2: which is long.
Speaker 1: Her boyfriend Joe, who we roast for the whole the
Speaker 1: whole time. We're like coach Joe. Yeah, he's hilarious.
Speaker 2: And you get to work out with us and work
Speaker 2: out with us, I mean work out with me, Sydney,
Speaker 2: don't even be working out, dude. But the commentary be
Speaker 2: on a point. I need just morphed into a cameraman
Speaker 2: halfway through. Okay, bo camp, that's another show working out
Speaker 2: with SMM and it's like you really working out and
Speaker 2: then it's just me doing like modified everything.
Speaker 1: Who's gonna watch Who's who are these shows for? Dude?
Speaker 1: Who's watching these shows?
Speaker 2: I mean, listen, everybody will watch an Instagram model pretend
Speaker 2: that she's working out in the fucking gym. They can't
Speaker 2: watch us actually have funny things to say while in
Speaker 2: the gym. Okay, we'll go ahead and put that on
Speaker 2: the board. Oh yeah, we gotta have and another thing
Speaker 2: that we do. We gotta have daily vision boards. So
Speaker 2: it's like like Pinterest, but in our heads about things
Speaker 2: that we want. And today we were like, oh, we
Speaker 2: want to get something for free. And Marie with the
Speaker 2: Gifted Gap talking to some lady right she was Mary Hey,
Speaker 2: May shout out to make We definitely plugged. You definitely
Speaker 2: plugged the podcast. Afterwards, May gave you know it was like,
Speaker 2: are you guys thirsty? We got lots of drinks. I
Speaker 2: was like, I'm thirsty. I threw my water in the pool.
Speaker 2: She literally knocked my beverage down. We had a bottle
Speaker 2: of poland springs from the outside and just do that
Speaker 2: ship in the back.
Speaker 1: I threw it over the fence. You're like, I'm so parched.
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, so thirsty.
Speaker 2: You're like my throat is She's we met cider, we
Speaker 2: have vodka, we have rose. I was like, rose is
Speaker 2: the magic hord uh huh. And then she was like,
Speaker 2: so are you guys guess here?
Speaker 1: Really? No? Should we have said yes? Maybe?
Speaker 2: I don't know. She wasn't a guest there either. She
Speaker 2: said she was there because her brother was a guest.
Speaker 2: Her brother was Asian. What mean you said you needed
Speaker 2: an Asian man this season? That I need an Asian man?
Speaker 2: I said, this summer the floor up for a like
Speaker 2: a cool like a hip hop Asian, like a West Coast.
Speaker 2: Maybe he's a chef on a food truck Asian. Ah
Speaker 2: love that you know, like a job awakee like a
Speaker 2: like tatted up sleeve. Maybe he's a Christian Asian like
Speaker 2: a dated a black woman before, so he knows how
Speaker 2: to like do her Greasa's scalp.
Speaker 1: That's what you want, good like a like a like a.
Speaker 2: I don't know if you're going to get that kind
Speaker 2: of Asian guy here. I think you want to get
Speaker 2: here like a like an accountant. You think I get
Speaker 2: an accountant Asian man here. I don't think you're gonna
Speaker 2: get the kind of Asian you want. I think I
Speaker 2: want to get like a gin from one to six
Speaker 2: and Park Asian.
Speaker 1: Oh my, like Friday Asian.
Speaker 2: You know he's doing stand up quote in quotation. No,
Speaker 2: I thought he was a Christian rapper. Now, no, he
Speaker 2: does stand up. I was he did something and I
Speaker 2: was like, oh, oh.
Speaker 1: Was it stand up? Giving you sheg Wan vibe?
Speaker 2: No, it was not another stand up community name rude, Marie,
Speaker 2: how is that rude?
Speaker 1: He like?
Speaker 2: Is he giving sheng Wing vibes? Cheng Wing doesn't sound
Speaker 2: like a real name, but it is. Shen Wean is
Speaker 2: a real person that we know. He's done our show
Speaker 2: before and he's hilarious.
Speaker 1: He did our very first show. He was on Two
Speaker 1: Dope Queens on HBO and wondering who he is.
Speaker 2: He did our very first show and I was wasted,
Speaker 2: and I brought him up as he was like our
Speaker 2: next guest is Asian and yeah, and everybody's like okay,
Speaker 2: And I was in the background like it was one
Speaker 2: of those things where I didn't know how to bring
Speaker 2: up people.
Speaker 1: Yet it was very new. He got money though. He
Speaker 1: got money that night.
Speaker 2: It was one hundred dollars to read off of a
Speaker 2: piece of paper. He was like, oh, y'all can have
Speaker 2: me back whenever.
Speaker 1: I like scheng Wing though, because he's Asian but has
Speaker 1: like a country accent. He's done in Houston.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so he'll get on stated and be like, so
Speaker 2: I was talking to these hosts. He never says hose
Speaker 2: Shawty was never says short.
Speaker 1: He's like, y'all like Blake Sheldon. I're like, wow, that's
Speaker 1: shang Wang.
Speaker 2: Shang Wang is gonna listen if he listens to listen
Speaker 2: to this damn time.
Speaker 1: These girls don't know me. It's like these.
Speaker 2: All right, well, shout out the shang Wang and all
Speaker 2: the shang Wang's listening right now.
Speaker 1: This is incredible episode.
Speaker 2: I was enjoyed the segments that we added one what
Speaker 2: are the white people watching?
Speaker 1: Two? Why are the white people here? And what's the
Speaker 1: third segment? Don't remember what Daddy is? What Teddy is?
Speaker 1: And that was? What was that segment? It's like what
Speaker 1: that is? What is? But what is the segment?
Speaker 2: It's like new words, new words that we come up
Speaker 2: with come up. Yeah, we come up with new words.
Speaker 1: You don't even know what daddy is.
Speaker 2: I don't see this why we're not ready for TV.
Speaker 1: Marie, because you're not you're not ready.
Speaker 2: I remember the segments of what they were, and you
Speaker 2: couldn't remember one segment or what it was.
Speaker 1: What it was, that's a segment right there. What it was.
Speaker 1: Fourth segment is what was shang wang dude? W W
Speaker 1: s w D.
Speaker 2: And I'm gonna go ahead and at a fifth segment
Speaker 2: and this segment is this is why we're not booting.
Speaker 1: Good segment.
Speaker 2: We'll just list all the terble things that were fly
Speaker 2: we're not getting booked, or auditions that we went to
Speaker 2: they were like, you know, so I went there because
Speaker 2: we didn't We don't pray. Yeah, that's what my mom said.
Speaker 2: That's surreal answer. We just gotta pray. Please answer you
Speaker 2: listening to the podcast. If you see us in these
Speaker 2: streets and we look good, come say hi. If you
Speaker 2: look dusty, it's probably not as do.
Speaker 1: Me this solid?
Speaker 2: Do we look disheveled? Are we jumping a train turnstile?
Speaker 2: That is not a do me this slid? If you
Speaker 2: see me in the streets, I want you to scream.
Speaker 1: And be like, oh, I got bock.
Speaker 2: So other people can see it and they're like yeah,
Speaker 2: and they're like, who's the on official expert? And then
Speaker 2: they look it up and they subscribe and then they
Speaker 2: fall in love with us. That's how you promote the brand.
Speaker 2: The brand is strong. The brand is strong. Shout out
Speaker 2: to Mitch because he can't do the show last week
Speaker 2: and he bought somebody Mitch, love you, buch, can't wait
Speaker 2: to see you, bro, bro b Alright, well what that is?
Speaker 1: Don't forget.
Speaker 2: We have a live show August fifteenth, and then we
Speaker 2: have a lot. We also have a live show July
Speaker 2: twenty fifth. YEP at at All one ninety one Christie
Speaker 2: Street at APM. Both of them are free AF so
Speaker 2: I don't want to hear no reasons why y'all can't come.
Speaker 2: If you live in Philadelphia, you can come to the
Speaker 2: show absolutely.
Speaker 1: I'll see you there May Bye bye