1
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:06,000
Speaker 1: This is the most dramatic podcast ever and iHeartRadio podcast.

2
00:00:07,880 --> 00:00:09,960
Speaker 1: Chris Harrison and Lauren z Ema coming to you from

3
00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:13,560
Speaker 1: the smoking hot home office in Austin, Texas.

4
00:00:14,120 --> 00:00:16,800
Speaker 2: I mean, maybe Chris is talking about how good looking

5
00:00:16,840 --> 00:00:20,160
Speaker 2: he is, but it's also we're in excessive heat warnings

6
00:00:20,200 --> 00:00:23,840
Speaker 2: in Austin. You step outside, it's like stepping into a

7
00:00:23,880 --> 00:00:26,640
Speaker 2: bath that we did escape. This weekend, we went to

8
00:00:26,840 --> 00:00:31,280
Speaker 2: Colorado visited the town of Aspen for the very first

9
00:00:31,320 --> 00:00:33,720
Speaker 2: time neither of us had ever been. And I absolutely

10
00:00:33,880 --> 00:00:37,720
Speaker 2: love going to brand new places together because I feel

11
00:00:37,720 --> 00:00:41,240
Speaker 2: like it's always a nice little reinvigoration of the relationship,

12
00:00:41,320 --> 00:00:44,559
Speaker 2: like exploring new places and new restaurants and kind of

13
00:00:44,560 --> 00:00:46,720
Speaker 2: feeling like you're learning and growing together.

14
00:00:46,960 --> 00:00:48,080
Speaker 1: Just to get out of town and we do.

15
00:00:48,120 --> 00:00:50,720
Speaker 2: We like to away. I said it was very cool

16
00:00:50,880 --> 00:00:53,239
Speaker 2: and like deep, and you said, just to get out

17
00:00:53,240 --> 00:00:53,560
Speaker 2: of town.

18
00:00:54,400 --> 00:00:55,400
Speaker 1: It was nice to get out of it.

19
00:00:56,360 --> 00:01:00,880
Speaker 2: Also, does everyone hear me? Did you I've seriously did

20
00:01:00,920 --> 00:01:04,959
Speaker 2: you ever do vocal training in our profession? Because we

21
00:01:05,040 --> 00:01:06,880
Speaker 2: go away for a weekend with friends and I come

22
00:01:06,880 --> 00:01:09,199
Speaker 2: back sounding like this and Chris is ready to host

23
00:01:09,200 --> 00:01:09,480
Speaker 2: a lot of.

24
00:01:09,600 --> 00:01:13,160
Speaker 1: Fun I did. Finally, I didn't my entire career, had

25
00:01:13,280 --> 00:01:16,080
Speaker 1: never done it. But I always had the same issue

26
00:01:16,200 --> 00:01:19,119
Speaker 1: where if I got a little sick, Like I worked

27
00:01:19,120 --> 00:01:21,240
Speaker 1: in Vegas quite a bit, whether it was Miss America

28
00:01:21,360 --> 00:01:24,240
Speaker 1: or Millionaire, and it's very dry and it's smoky. They

29
00:01:24,240 --> 00:01:25,600
Speaker 1: call it Vegas throat.

30
00:01:25,400 --> 00:01:27,520
Speaker 2: The only place people are still owed to smoke. Cecrests.

31
00:01:27,720 --> 00:01:29,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, and they really do have a name for it.

32
00:01:29,200 --> 00:01:31,880
Speaker 1: They called Vegas throat. And so I kept losing my voice,

33
00:01:32,160 --> 00:01:34,160
Speaker 1: long story short, and so I went to this vocal

34
00:01:34,200 --> 00:01:37,320
Speaker 1: coach and she was amazing. The only embarrassing thing is

35
00:01:37,400 --> 00:01:40,679
Speaker 1: a She taught me how to speak and what part

36
00:01:40,720 --> 00:01:42,720
Speaker 1: of my body to use to save my voice, that

37
00:01:42,800 --> 00:01:45,800
Speaker 1: which most singers do. But she had me sing. I

38
00:01:45,840 --> 00:01:47,920
Speaker 1: had to sing to her in our sessions.

39
00:01:48,240 --> 00:01:50,680
Speaker 2: What song did you sing? Did you get to choose?

40
00:01:50,720 --> 00:01:54,360
Speaker 1: Well, we did range stuff, so it wasn't even songs

41
00:01:54,440 --> 00:01:54,880
Speaker 1: per se.

42
00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:57,400
Speaker 2: It was more like, well, can you tell everybody the truth,

43
00:01:57,400 --> 00:01:59,400
Speaker 2: which is that you were in weren't you in an

44
00:01:59,440 --> 00:02:00,720
Speaker 2: a cappella group at one point?

45
00:02:00,720 --> 00:02:02,560
Speaker 1: Well, I did do choir back in the day, that's

46
00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:05,160
Speaker 1: but that's when I was a tenor. I think it's

47
00:02:05,200 --> 00:02:08,400
Speaker 1: before my boys had dropped really so my voice was

48
00:02:08,440 --> 00:02:11,520
Speaker 1: a little bit higher, got it. I think i'd probably

49
00:02:11,639 --> 00:02:13,520
Speaker 1: be more in the bass section now.

50
00:02:13,360 --> 00:02:14,079
Speaker 2: So can you give it?

51
00:02:14,120 --> 00:02:14,480
Speaker 1: But I did?

52
00:02:14,520 --> 00:02:15,919
Speaker 2: I loved choir, you.

53
00:02:15,919 --> 00:02:18,200
Speaker 1: Did, and I was a part of this thing called madrigals.

54
00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:20,840
Speaker 1: You're going to be so excited to marry me after this.

55
00:02:21,080 --> 00:02:22,399
Speaker 2: I was just where three.

56
00:02:22,160 --> 00:02:24,560
Speaker 1: Of us would would sing together, like kind of like

57
00:02:24,600 --> 00:02:26,320
Speaker 1: barber shop quartets.

58
00:02:26,639 --> 00:02:28,359
Speaker 2: By this is making me like you more? Do you

59
00:02:28,400 --> 00:02:30,200
Speaker 2: even know me? I mean, I'm a theater kid. I

60
00:02:30,240 --> 00:02:32,320
Speaker 2: in my mind the choir story was that you were

61
00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:33,760
Speaker 2: in an a cappella group, So I guess I'll have

62
00:02:33,800 --> 00:02:34,520
Speaker 2: to settle for question.

63
00:02:34,560 --> 00:02:36,120
Speaker 1: I also, back in the day, we had this I

64
00:02:36,200 --> 00:02:38,080
Speaker 1: forget the name of it, like maybe it was a

65
00:02:38,120 --> 00:02:40,840
Speaker 1: Spree or Spirit or something. It was like a pop

66
00:02:40,919 --> 00:02:45,400
Speaker 1: group that was at our high school, and I auditioned

67
00:02:45,440 --> 00:02:49,120
Speaker 1: for it. But I went into it with no idea

68
00:02:49,360 --> 00:02:51,440
Speaker 1: what to do or how to audition for something like that.

69
00:02:51,760 --> 00:02:55,560
Speaker 1: So I remember I played it was a Billy Joel song,

70
00:02:55,560 --> 00:02:57,000
Speaker 1: I forget which one it was. It was from his

71
00:02:57,080 --> 00:02:59,800
Speaker 1: Glasshouses album, and I just played the song over and

72
00:02:59,800 --> 00:03:02,120
Speaker 1: over and I would sing to it in my bedroom.

73
00:03:02,560 --> 00:03:05,880
Speaker 1: And then I went to audition now that day, and

74
00:03:06,200 --> 00:03:08,079
Speaker 1: I didn't realize how many people were going to be watching.

75
00:03:08,080 --> 00:03:10,399
Speaker 1: There were so many people packed into this choir room

76
00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:13,160
Speaker 1: to watch, and they said, okay, well, where's your music?

77
00:03:13,160 --> 00:03:15,320
Speaker 1: Who's performing your music for you? Like, who's playing it

78
00:03:15,360 --> 00:03:16,080
Speaker 1: on piano or whatever?

79
00:03:16,120 --> 00:03:18,680
Speaker 2: And I I had no idea, Okay, that's on them.

80
00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:20,760
Speaker 2: At a standard audition, you just have someone there on

81
00:03:20,760 --> 00:03:22,200
Speaker 2: the piano playing everybody's.

82
00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:23,320
Speaker 1: I was probably fourteen or thirteen.

83
00:03:23,400 --> 00:03:25,600
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh. So you did not make it into

84
00:03:25,639 --> 00:03:28,600
Speaker 2: the battle group. No, your whole life could have been different. Yeah,

85
00:03:28,639 --> 00:03:28,919
Speaker 2: And so.

86
00:03:28,919 --> 00:03:30,920
Speaker 1: All this to say, yeah, I finally in my life,

87
00:03:31,160 --> 00:03:33,280
Speaker 1: I took some vocal lessons just so I would quit

88
00:03:33,360 --> 00:03:36,760
Speaker 1: losing my voice, because you know, oftentimes you'll go, like say,

89
00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:40,360
Speaker 1: Miss America, You'll rehearse for three days for the big show,

90
00:03:40,560 --> 00:03:41,920
Speaker 1: and by the time you get to the big show

91
00:03:41,920 --> 00:03:44,520
Speaker 1: on Saturday night, your voices totally.

92
00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:47,960
Speaker 2: So can you give me without us practicing my singing? Here,

93
00:03:48,400 --> 00:03:50,360
Speaker 2: what's like one thing I should be doing differently when

94
00:03:50,360 --> 00:03:52,080
Speaker 2: we go away for the weekend with friends. That leaves

95
00:03:52,080 --> 00:03:52,920
Speaker 2: me sounding like this.

96
00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:56,280
Speaker 1: Most of the time, when people get lazy, you start

97
00:03:56,440 --> 00:03:58,760
Speaker 1: you start talking. No, it's just we all do this right.

98
00:03:58,800 --> 00:04:02,440
Speaker 1: It's like lifting weights. We start talking up in our throat,

99
00:04:02,760 --> 00:04:04,840
Speaker 1: in our neck. Think of your voice coming from your neck.

100
00:04:05,480 --> 00:04:07,560
Speaker 2: It's really right now it's high.

101
00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:09,960
Speaker 1: And so you're just you're exacerbating the muscle and that's

102
00:04:09,960 --> 00:04:11,920
Speaker 1: all it is. You got to drop it down into

103
00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:14,640
Speaker 1: your chest and your your diaphragm and your lung speaking

104
00:04:14,680 --> 00:04:17,080
Speaker 1: from her. So if you want to go back in

105
00:04:17,160 --> 00:04:20,159
Speaker 1: history and find something really embarrassing, and I'm going to

106
00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:24,039
Speaker 1: out myself Miss America. It was the year that Kuric

107
00:04:24,160 --> 00:04:26,800
Speaker 1: is Ansive, who you know, a good friend of ours

108
00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:29,240
Speaker 1: now on Golf Channel having a great career. She was

109
00:04:29,240 --> 00:04:33,799
Speaker 1: missed New York and my voice broke announcing Miss America.

110
00:04:33,920 --> 00:04:36,000
Speaker 1: That is the moment when you're hosting Miss America.

111
00:04:36,440 --> 00:04:39,000
Speaker 2: I mean, like a crack like America is.

112
00:04:40,520 --> 00:04:42,559
Speaker 1: And I go no, because you always say to State

113
00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:47,640
Speaker 1: and I go miss New York and Kierk is answif

114
00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:51,120
Speaker 1: and so. But you will hear my voice break and

115
00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:53,960
Speaker 1: I was. It was like a teenager going through puberty

116
00:04:54,080 --> 00:04:57,000
Speaker 1: and right at that moment, I just rolled over and died.

117
00:04:57,240 --> 00:04:58,920
Speaker 2: Is that when you decided to get the vocal coach?

118
00:04:59,040 --> 00:05:03,440
Speaker 1: Because it was because After that moment, you know she's

119
00:05:03,480 --> 00:05:06,160
Speaker 1: gonna go on talk shows for the next year. And

120
00:05:06,200 --> 00:05:08,960
Speaker 1: the one thing they always play leading up to every

121
00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:11,280
Speaker 1: interview with Kira or Miss America I did it for

122
00:05:11,279 --> 00:05:15,880
Speaker 1: ten years, is my announcement. It's Miss America is Miss

123
00:05:15,920 --> 00:05:16,360
Speaker 1: New York.

124
00:05:16,520 --> 00:05:19,000
Speaker 2: If that happened today, it would have been like everywhere,

125
00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:20,359
Speaker 2: you know what I mean. You probably got away with

126
00:05:20,400 --> 00:05:21,840
Speaker 2: it being a few years ago and it.

127
00:05:21,839 --> 00:05:24,320
Speaker 1: Was kind of subtle, but I noticed it. It really

128
00:05:24,360 --> 00:05:26,360
Speaker 1: did break, and it was just because it's so loud.

129
00:05:26,440 --> 00:05:29,000
Speaker 1: It was. We're doing it in Atlantic City. There's thirteen

130
00:05:29,160 --> 00:05:32,320
Speaker 1: thousand people there, so it was But I was mortified

131
00:05:32,320 --> 00:05:35,080
Speaker 1: because you want you think about that moment the whole night,

132
00:05:35,400 --> 00:05:38,080
Speaker 1: the whole week. You're thinking, as the host, this is

133
00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:40,599
Speaker 1: my moment to announce Miss America. I wanted to be perfect.

134
00:05:40,640 --> 00:05:41,600
Speaker 2: Well, maybe screwed that up.

135
00:05:41,680 --> 00:05:46,440
Speaker 1: I did, thanks, But from that day on I learned

136
00:05:46,600 --> 00:05:47,559
Speaker 1: to speak deep.

137
00:05:48,279 --> 00:05:50,360
Speaker 2: I've got it. I'm gonna try it right now. I've

138
00:05:50,360 --> 00:05:50,720
Speaker 2: got it.

139
00:05:50,839 --> 00:05:53,279
Speaker 1: No, that's what I sounded like.

140
00:05:54,040 --> 00:05:56,160
Speaker 2: So I mean, I should be better because obviously I'm

141
00:05:56,200 --> 00:05:58,000
Speaker 2: on et. I've been in news for forever, but I

142
00:05:58,120 --> 00:06:01,279
Speaker 2: just never I know, go lower. But I never worked

143
00:06:01,279 --> 00:06:02,800
Speaker 2: on it. I think this is like a muscle you

144
00:06:02,839 --> 00:06:05,040
Speaker 2: have to practice. By the way, it's interesting to hear

145
00:06:05,120 --> 00:06:07,640
Speaker 2: I never knew that you auditioned for this pop group,

146
00:06:08,240 --> 00:06:12,320
Speaker 2: and I all, I guess I'm listening to that story, thinking,

147
00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:15,599
Speaker 2: you know, you grew up in Texas, and this is

148
00:06:15,680 --> 00:06:18,520
Speaker 2: no knock on your parents, obviously, it's just your boy

149
00:06:18,560 --> 00:06:20,480
Speaker 2: growing up in Texas. They're going to put you in sports,

150
00:06:20,520 --> 00:06:22,560
Speaker 2: and you played all the sports, and you loved sports.

151
00:06:22,800 --> 00:06:25,240
Speaker 2: You loved baseball and soccer and all that. But it's

152
00:06:25,320 --> 00:06:27,559
Speaker 2: just always interesting to me as someone who did theater.

153
00:06:28,200 --> 00:06:32,320
Speaker 2: Every kid is typically put in sports by their parents,

154
00:06:32,320 --> 00:06:34,640
Speaker 2: and that's a good thing. Sports teaches you teamwork and

155
00:06:34,920 --> 00:06:36,880
Speaker 2: it's good to be healthy and fit and all these things.

156
00:06:37,400 --> 00:06:41,680
Speaker 2: But it is not standard that kids try the arts typically.

157
00:06:41,720 --> 00:06:44,040
Speaker 2: I don't think, like maybe through school, but you know,

158
00:06:44,360 --> 00:06:48,240
Speaker 2: I obviously never did well in sports, but my parents

159
00:06:48,240 --> 00:06:52,080
Speaker 2: still had me try volleyball and tennis and all these things,

160
00:06:52,480 --> 00:06:55,400
Speaker 2: and luckily they then realized how horrible I was and

161
00:06:55,480 --> 00:06:57,680
Speaker 2: let me brand into theater. But I just I would

162
00:06:57,760 --> 00:06:59,800
Speaker 2: encourage all parents to have their kids try theater, because

163
00:06:59,800 --> 00:07:03,080
Speaker 2: I'm in here thinking what if you'd tried plays and

164
00:07:03,120 --> 00:07:03,960
Speaker 2: stuff as a kid.

165
00:07:04,040 --> 00:07:05,960
Speaker 1: Well, you know what, I didn't love the theater. I

166
00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:07,920
Speaker 1: was never drawn to the theater. I was never drawn

167
00:07:07,960 --> 00:07:10,720
Speaker 1: to acting. I always wanted to host, which is I

168
00:07:10,760 --> 00:07:12,920
Speaker 1: know it fits now, but no, like even the talent show,

169
00:07:12,960 --> 00:07:16,720
Speaker 1: the school talent show, when everybody was auditioning for stuff,

170
00:07:17,280 --> 00:07:20,239
Speaker 1: I wanted to MC. I wanted to run the show.

171
00:07:21,320 --> 00:07:23,720
Speaker 2: Someone has a control.

172
00:07:23,760 --> 00:07:26,760
Speaker 1: I do for sure, But I always and you know,

173
00:07:26,800 --> 00:07:28,440
Speaker 1: I did speech and I was a part of the

174
00:07:28,440 --> 00:07:30,160
Speaker 1: speech club and stuff like that. But you're right. I

175
00:07:30,160 --> 00:07:34,440
Speaker 1: think typically you have to find theater as opposed to

176
00:07:34,920 --> 00:07:36,200
Speaker 1: your put into sports.

177
00:07:36,360 --> 00:07:37,880
Speaker 2: Right, it's not so automatically.

178
00:07:37,920 --> 00:07:39,920
Speaker 1: And you know, not to get on a soapbox. But

179
00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:43,680
Speaker 1: unfortunately the first thing that's cut in schools is.

180
00:07:43,680 --> 00:07:45,080
Speaker 2: The article let's get on a soapbox.

181
00:07:45,200 --> 00:07:48,679
Speaker 1: Oh, and that is a bummer because you know, choir, music, band,

182
00:07:48,760 --> 00:07:51,320
Speaker 1: all those things, just that outlet. You should be well rounded,

183
00:07:51,360 --> 00:07:53,280
Speaker 1: and you should play sports. You should try it. You

184
00:07:53,280 --> 00:07:54,480
Speaker 1: should try all these things.

185
00:07:54,760 --> 00:07:58,040
Speaker 2: And just so, I think doing that teaches you how

186
00:07:58,080 --> 00:08:01,240
Speaker 2: to speak in meetings, teaches you how to you know,

187
00:08:02,120 --> 00:08:04,240
Speaker 2: like that's people's number one fear. Right, Even you said

188
00:08:04,280 --> 00:08:06,600
Speaker 2: you were nervous auditioning in front of everybody. It's such

189
00:08:06,600 --> 00:08:08,640
Speaker 2: a good way to kind of get away fears of

190
00:08:08,680 --> 00:08:10,600
Speaker 2: stage fright and even social interaction.

191
00:08:10,760 --> 00:08:12,600
Speaker 1: And we have a lot of parenting things we're going

192
00:08:12,640 --> 00:08:15,080
Speaker 1: to discuss today that are in the headlines. And it's

193
00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:17,480
Speaker 1: funny because you know, as far as as my kids go,

194
00:08:17,560 --> 00:08:21,480
Speaker 1: I probably definitely helped my daughter because she went into theater,

195
00:08:21,600 --> 00:08:23,520
Speaker 1: found that she was a great athlete as well, so

196
00:08:23,560 --> 00:08:27,160
Speaker 1: she was more well rounded than probably Joshua, who never

197
00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:31,880
Speaker 1: found that voice and experimented with theater and all that,

198
00:08:31,920 --> 00:08:34,640
Speaker 1: and so he's probably a little lacking, a little behind

199
00:08:34,679 --> 00:08:37,040
Speaker 1: in the public speaking forum.

200
00:08:37,240 --> 00:08:40,839
Speaker 2: Yeah, so let's run the drills, you know, dad, give

201
00:08:40,920 --> 00:08:43,280
Speaker 2: him the mic and just do some tittering.

202
00:08:43,720 --> 00:08:45,719
Speaker 1: If I had Joshua on this podcast, it would be

203
00:08:45,760 --> 00:08:48,319
Speaker 1: a very short podcast, a lot of one word answers.

204
00:08:48,440 --> 00:08:49,520
Speaker 1: Someday I'll have the kids on.

205
00:08:49,640 --> 00:08:51,200
Speaker 2: Oh you know what, we talked about doing that for

206
00:08:51,240 --> 00:08:53,640
Speaker 2: father's sake, and we just straight up for your.

207
00:08:53,760 --> 00:08:56,160
Speaker 1: We were all traveling and going kind of different directions.

208
00:08:56,160 --> 00:08:59,079
Speaker 1: But someday we'll have them on. And because it's fascinating,

209
00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:01,680
Speaker 1: there at a kind of a perfect age to do it,

210
00:09:01,760 --> 00:09:04,480
Speaker 1: being nineteen and twenty one, and they're both in college,

211
00:09:04,880 --> 00:09:07,120
Speaker 1: and that kind of takes us to some of these

212
00:09:07,679 --> 00:09:11,120
Speaker 1: things that struck us this week. One is this Gavin

213
00:09:11,160 --> 00:09:16,920
Speaker 1: Rossdale and Gwen Stefani co parenting story where Gavin Rossdale

214
00:09:17,440 --> 00:09:21,000
Speaker 1: went on they share three kids, Kingston, Zuma, and Apollo.

215
00:09:21,040 --> 00:09:24,680
Speaker 1: Their ages seventeen, fourteen, and nine, so very impressionable ages,

216
00:09:24,960 --> 00:09:27,560
Speaker 1: and they just talked about their co parenting and how

217
00:09:27,960 --> 00:09:29,400
Speaker 1: they really don't co parent.

218
00:09:29,800 --> 00:09:32,480
Speaker 2: Well, Gavin spoke about it's only Gavin on this podcast.

219
00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:33,520
Speaker 1: A podcast, and he said they don't co.

220
00:09:33,559 --> 00:09:35,520
Speaker 2: Parents, and they don't co parents, and they don't do podcasts.

221
00:09:35,640 --> 00:09:40,760
Speaker 1: They just parent. And I know you're like, well, yeah.

222
00:09:40,640 --> 00:09:43,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'll read the exact quote he said on the

223
00:09:43,280 --> 00:09:44,760
Speaker 2: Not So Hollywood Podcast.

224
00:09:45,280 --> 00:09:48,840
Speaker 1: Quote shout out to Adreana Costa Body, former co host

225
00:09:48,880 --> 00:09:50,640
Speaker 1: of mine. We worked together for years.

226
00:09:50,800 --> 00:09:52,600
Speaker 2: Oh really, I didn't know that. I know her from

227
00:09:52,679 --> 00:09:53,559
Speaker 2: seeing her on Red Carpet.

228
00:09:53,600 --> 00:09:56,280
Speaker 1: We worked a TV guy together, We did Red Carpets

229
00:09:56,320 --> 00:09:59,760
Speaker 1: together for the award shows and lived near me out

230
00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:01,320
Speaker 1: in in Westlake Village area.

231
00:10:01,440 --> 00:10:02,319
Speaker 2: It's lovely.

232
00:10:03,800 --> 00:10:04,360
Speaker 1: Her podcast.

233
00:10:04,440 --> 00:10:10,200
Speaker 2: Yes, so Gavin said to her quote of co parenting

234
00:10:10,559 --> 00:10:12,880
Speaker 2: and being divorced with kids. I think you can go

235
00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:15,880
Speaker 2: one of two ways. You can either do everything together

236
00:10:15,960 --> 00:10:18,800
Speaker 2: and really co parent and see how that goes, or

237
00:10:18,920 --> 00:10:21,880
Speaker 2: you can just parent. And I think we just parent.

238
00:10:22,320 --> 00:10:26,000
Speaker 2: We're really different people. I don't think there's much similarity

239
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:27,800
Speaker 2: in the way we bring them up, but I think

240
00:10:27,840 --> 00:10:30,800
Speaker 2: it gives them an incredible perspective for them to choose

241
00:10:30,840 --> 00:10:33,600
Speaker 2: which pieces of those two lives they'd like to inherit

242
00:10:33,920 --> 00:10:36,520
Speaker 2: and move on with, and which part of themselves comes

243
00:10:36,520 --> 00:10:37,440
Speaker 2: out of the whole process.

244
00:10:37,640 --> 00:10:40,640
Speaker 1: You can clearly see number one, how Gavin and Gwen

245
00:10:40,679 --> 00:10:44,720
Speaker 1: Stefani did not stay together well right, because you very

246
00:10:44,760 --> 00:10:45,440
Speaker 1: different people.

247
00:10:45,600 --> 00:10:48,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean it makes me honestly, hearing that quote

248
00:10:48,600 --> 00:10:51,160
Speaker 2: alone makes me think, well, gosh, it sounds like their

249
00:10:51,160 --> 00:10:54,640
Speaker 2: marriage was rough. We're very different people. I think that's

250
00:10:54,679 --> 00:11:00,960
Speaker 2: the biggest mistake people make typically marrying young. Myself included ourselves. Well,

251
00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:03,560
Speaker 2: you grow up hearing like opposites attract and he needs

252
00:11:03,559 --> 00:11:05,920
Speaker 2: someone to balance you out and he needs your counterpart.

253
00:11:06,280 --> 00:11:08,839
Speaker 2: And that's true if that helps you work as a team,

254
00:11:08,880 --> 00:11:11,320
Speaker 2: but it's not true if you're such different people. Like

255
00:11:11,640 --> 00:11:14,400
Speaker 2: I think, honestly, relationships work better when people are pretty similar,

256
00:11:14,440 --> 00:11:16,040
Speaker 2: and they want to do life the same way, and

257
00:11:16,080 --> 00:11:18,719
Speaker 2: he's saying, we don't do parenting the same way.

258
00:11:18,800 --> 00:11:20,840
Speaker 1: Well, and that's the big one, right, I mean, you know,

259
00:11:20,840 --> 00:11:22,880
Speaker 1: when it comes to economics and how we spend our

260
00:11:22,880 --> 00:11:26,840
Speaker 1: money and save our money, our politics, typically things like that,

261
00:11:27,559 --> 00:11:30,480
Speaker 1: But when kids come into the picture, that's when it's

262
00:11:30,840 --> 00:11:32,480
Speaker 1: really noticeable.

263
00:11:32,080 --> 00:11:33,160
Speaker 2: Because you're doing the hardest job.

264
00:11:33,559 --> 00:11:36,360
Speaker 1: That's when it gets exacerbated because you are dispensing advice

265
00:11:36,440 --> 00:11:40,200
Speaker 1: and making decisions every single day, so you're put on

266
00:11:40,240 --> 00:11:44,760
Speaker 1: display for each other as partners, husband and wife, whatever,

267
00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:49,080
Speaker 1: mother and father. So it just gets exacerbated because it's

268
00:11:49,080 --> 00:11:52,280
Speaker 1: magnified so many times a day, and these are pretty

269
00:11:52,320 --> 00:11:55,439
Speaker 1: big decisions. And if you don't align all the time,

270
00:11:55,520 --> 00:11:57,400
Speaker 1: I mean, you're never going to always align, Like you

271
00:11:57,440 --> 00:12:01,280
Speaker 1: and I had a disagreement recently, but you're not always

272
00:12:01,280 --> 00:12:04,480
Speaker 1: going to agree. But for the most part, big picture,

273
00:12:05,080 --> 00:12:15,079
Speaker 1: you should and clearly they didn't.

274
00:12:18,679 --> 00:12:22,720
Speaker 2: We disagreed on a parenting thing recently and it was

275
00:12:22,760 --> 00:12:25,480
Speaker 2: sort of shocking to me, and I guess this is

276
00:12:25,480 --> 00:12:27,319
Speaker 2: a good problem to have, but it was the first

277
00:12:27,360 --> 00:12:31,240
Speaker 2: time in the five years we've been together that I

278
00:12:31,280 --> 00:12:34,280
Speaker 2: did not agree with you. On a parenting thing. Now,

279
00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:38,600
Speaker 2: granted we sort of separate, how like, I never have

280
00:12:38,880 --> 00:12:42,200
Speaker 2: disciplined the kids I leave. You know that in my mind,

281
00:12:42,240 --> 00:12:45,000
Speaker 2: I'm a mentor to them, I'm not their parent. But

282
00:12:45,160 --> 00:12:48,800
Speaker 2: you and I talk about this stuff, and I don't know.

283
00:12:48,840 --> 00:12:50,880
Speaker 2: I was really shaken by it. I even spoke to

284
00:12:50,920 --> 00:12:53,959
Speaker 2: some friends and said, I don't agree with Chris. I

285
00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:55,920
Speaker 2: don't agree with Chris, and I don't know what to do.

286
00:12:56,440 --> 00:12:59,760
Speaker 2: And my friends were like, Lauren, parents disagree on things

287
00:12:59,800 --> 00:13:02,560
Speaker 2: all all the time, And I felt very naive about it.

288
00:13:02,600 --> 00:13:04,880
Speaker 2: But I really don't know the answer. When you disagree

289
00:13:05,200 --> 00:13:09,240
Speaker 2: on a especially a pretty big parenting decision, what do

290
00:13:09,280 --> 00:13:09,640
Speaker 2: you do?

291
00:13:09,800 --> 00:13:13,440
Speaker 1: Well. It's funny because I blew right past that with

292
00:13:13,480 --> 00:13:17,280
Speaker 1: you and just continued on because you mean, because I

293
00:13:17,320 --> 00:13:20,120
Speaker 1: know that that happens all the time, because I've had that.

294
00:13:20,280 --> 00:13:22,520
Speaker 2: Oh it didn't hit you as hard until.

295
00:13:22,240 --> 00:13:24,400
Speaker 1: I saw how it affected you, and I realized, oh,

296
00:13:24,480 --> 00:13:26,280
Speaker 1: this is the first time you and I have had

297
00:13:26,280 --> 00:13:30,439
Speaker 1: this situation, And so I stopped. And I don't know

298
00:13:30,480 --> 00:13:31,840
Speaker 1: if you noticed, but I went back and I had

299
00:13:31,840 --> 00:13:35,120
Speaker 1: a lot of discussions with you about parenting and how

300
00:13:35,160 --> 00:13:36,880
Speaker 1: I and just our philosophies are.

301
00:13:36,920 --> 00:13:38,560
Speaker 2: I don't know if I noticed, Babe, we stopped and

302
00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:40,720
Speaker 2: had those discussions because I kept telling you, I don't

303
00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:41,559
Speaker 2: feel good about this.

304
00:13:41,720 --> 00:13:43,720
Speaker 1: We need to have these discussions, and so I just

305
00:13:43,760 --> 00:13:46,719
Speaker 1: realized I was going, you know, one hundred miles an hour,

306
00:13:46,760 --> 00:13:48,360
Speaker 1: which you just typically do, and you just kind of

307
00:13:48,360 --> 00:13:52,200
Speaker 1: move on because yeah, you do these these broad brush things,

308
00:13:52,240 --> 00:13:54,680
Speaker 1: and I always say, you can't really parent with a

309
00:13:54,720 --> 00:13:59,520
Speaker 1: scalpel and be so specific. It's more broad brush strokes

310
00:13:59,520 --> 00:14:02,760
Speaker 1: and the best you can in that moment, and then

311
00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:04,480
Speaker 1: you just accept it and move on. That that was

312
00:14:04,520 --> 00:14:08,320
Speaker 1: the decision that we made, and so I realized that

313
00:14:09,360 --> 00:14:11,280
Speaker 1: we had never disagreed before, and so that was kind

314
00:14:11,320 --> 00:14:14,319
Speaker 1: of the first time that we had to actually stop

315
00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:14,960
Speaker 1: and discuss it.

316
00:14:15,240 --> 00:14:17,520
Speaker 2: So let me ask you then, and you know, take

317
00:14:17,559 --> 00:14:19,720
Speaker 2: you and I out of it, just being as someone

318
00:14:19,720 --> 00:14:26,360
Speaker 2: who's a parent period. If you do disagree, what do

319
00:14:26,400 --> 00:14:26,800
Speaker 2: you do?

320
00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:31,880
Speaker 1: I mean, you just got to find that eventually, you

321
00:14:31,880 --> 00:14:34,520
Speaker 1: find that common ground and you're just not always going

322
00:14:34,560 --> 00:14:38,640
Speaker 1: to agree and someone at the end of the day,

323
00:14:38,760 --> 00:14:43,200
Speaker 1: someone's going to win. And I guess you could say

324
00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:47,160
Speaker 1: that one I won. But I think for the most part,

325
00:14:47,280 --> 00:14:48,920
Speaker 1: what you do. And this is why I really related

326
00:14:48,920 --> 00:14:52,400
Speaker 1: to the Gavin Rossdale Gwen Stefani thing is because I

327
00:14:52,440 --> 00:14:56,200
Speaker 1: have two schools going on like you and I, and

328
00:14:56,400 --> 00:14:58,880
Speaker 1: I know you don't consider yourself in this realm, but

329
00:14:58,920 --> 00:15:01,840
Speaker 1: we do. We copair it, we discuss things. Typically we

330
00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:04,840
Speaker 1: arrive at a decision that is best suited for all

331
00:15:04,880 --> 00:15:08,640
Speaker 1: of us. And I very much value your opinion because

332
00:15:08,640 --> 00:15:10,200
Speaker 1: I know you love the kids as much as I do,

333
00:15:10,240 --> 00:15:12,080
Speaker 1: and I think you have a great perspective, and you

334
00:15:12,080 --> 00:15:15,280
Speaker 1: are unbelievably smart. And I think I've been doing this

335
00:15:15,320 --> 00:15:16,920
Speaker 1: for a while and I think I'm a good dad

336
00:15:16,920 --> 00:15:19,520
Speaker 1: and I have good perspective, and so it's that's typically

337
00:15:19,560 --> 00:15:21,720
Speaker 1: what you have when you're married or when you're raising

338
00:15:21,800 --> 00:15:24,920
Speaker 1: kids together. What scared me, and this is what drove

339
00:15:25,040 --> 00:15:28,520
Speaker 1: me on this Gavin Rossdale Gwen Stefani's story is that

340
00:15:30,640 --> 00:15:34,000
Speaker 1: scared the heck out of me when I got divorced again.

341
00:15:34,080 --> 00:15:37,000
Speaker 1: My ex I get along with, she's a good mother,

342
00:15:37,840 --> 00:15:40,600
Speaker 1: none of those issues that Gwen and Gavin seem to have.

343
00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:43,040
Speaker 1: But at the same time, you lose control. And I

344
00:15:43,480 --> 00:15:45,440
Speaker 1: actually just said this to my nineteen year old daughter

345
00:15:45,440 --> 00:15:48,240
Speaker 1: Taylor the other day. We were having a deep discussion.

346
00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:50,000
Speaker 1: I said, you know, the scariest thing for me as

347
00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:53,400
Speaker 1: a dad was when we got divorced, you would go

348
00:15:53,440 --> 00:15:56,320
Speaker 1: to your mom's. We were fifty to fifty and I

349
00:15:56,360 --> 00:15:58,640
Speaker 1: didn't think you were you know, anything was wrong, but

350
00:15:59,520 --> 00:16:02,320
Speaker 1: it just it scared me because I lost control again,

351
00:16:02,400 --> 00:16:04,680
Speaker 1: going back to a control thing. But I didn't know

352
00:16:04,720 --> 00:16:07,280
Speaker 1: what was being done, what was being said. I didn't

353
00:16:07,320 --> 00:16:08,920
Speaker 1: know the things you were going through on the day

354
00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:09,640
Speaker 1: to day anymore.

355
00:16:10,120 --> 00:16:12,600
Speaker 2: If you weren't seeing half for life in person in

356
00:16:12,640 --> 00:16:13,040
Speaker 2: real time.

357
00:16:13,120 --> 00:16:16,560
Speaker 1: Usually every single day you see it and you're dealing

358
00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:18,720
Speaker 1: with it. And again, even if you agree or disagree,

359
00:16:18,800 --> 00:16:23,680
Speaker 1: as you're co parenting, you're in it and you lose

360
00:16:23,760 --> 00:16:25,960
Speaker 1: that and that that scared the hell out of me

361
00:16:25,960 --> 00:16:28,200
Speaker 1: as a dad because then they come back to you

362
00:16:28,240 --> 00:16:31,160
Speaker 1: a week later or however you're doing your your custody

363
00:16:31,840 --> 00:16:34,240
Speaker 1: and you're not going to get the full report, and

364
00:16:34,280 --> 00:16:35,680
Speaker 1: you don't want to dive in and be like, oh

365
00:16:35,720 --> 00:16:38,040
Speaker 1: what did mom say? You know, it's you're trying not

366
00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:40,600
Speaker 1: to pit anybody against each other, but at the same

367
00:16:40,640 --> 00:16:43,000
Speaker 1: time you're trying to get some information as to what's

368
00:16:43,040 --> 00:16:45,480
Speaker 1: going on in your life. It was a very It's

369
00:16:45,520 --> 00:16:47,600
Speaker 1: a very difficult thing to navigate. And I have all

370
00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:49,880
Speaker 1: the love and the respect in the world for even

371
00:16:49,880 --> 00:16:52,000
Speaker 1: for Gavin and Gwenn trying to figure this out and

372
00:16:52,080 --> 00:16:53,240
Speaker 1: navigate these waters.

373
00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:56,200
Speaker 2: Well, I you know, I think what I've learned in

374
00:16:56,600 --> 00:16:59,640
Speaker 2: this these past couple weeks with us is that I've

375
00:16:59,640 --> 00:17:01,760
Speaker 2: maybe learned, for the first time in my adult life,

376
00:17:01,800 --> 00:17:05,439
Speaker 2: the true meaning of agree to disagree. And I know

377
00:17:05,520 --> 00:17:10,760
Speaker 2: sometimes you're like, you think that I keep tally of

378
00:17:10,840 --> 00:17:12,520
Speaker 2: things in my head. By the way, babe, this is

379
00:17:12,560 --> 00:17:16,000
Speaker 2: just a female thing. Like women, I'm stereotyping here, But

380
00:17:16,080 --> 00:17:18,359
Speaker 2: when you are about to have an argument with me,

381
00:17:18,760 --> 00:17:21,640
Speaker 2: I've played that scenario out five different ways in my head.

382
00:17:21,680 --> 00:17:24,240
Speaker 1: I know the chays you're going to get scoreboard.

383
00:17:24,640 --> 00:17:26,639
Speaker 2: I do a little bit, but not in a way

384
00:17:26,760 --> 00:17:31,280
Speaker 2: of like like to me, I'm like a lawyer gathering evidence.

385
00:17:31,720 --> 00:17:33,440
Speaker 2: I am the child of two lawyers, and I'm just

386
00:17:33,480 --> 00:17:35,439
Speaker 2: trying to show you how I feel, and so I

387
00:17:35,480 --> 00:17:39,040
Speaker 2: provide examples. I did think to myself with this, Okay,

388
00:17:39,760 --> 00:17:43,080
Speaker 2: we've agreed to disagree here, he has won here. But

389
00:17:44,119 --> 00:17:46,440
Speaker 2: I thought, well, in future, you know, if this same

390
00:17:46,480 --> 00:17:48,639
Speaker 2: situation comes up, I am going to bring this up

391
00:17:48,680 --> 00:17:52,000
Speaker 2: and say I felt differently here, then this is why,

392
00:17:52,040 --> 00:17:53,960
Speaker 2: And now we're kind of in the same situation again,

393
00:17:54,600 --> 00:17:59,119
Speaker 2: and I thought that is that a toxic thing? Yes?

394
00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:05,240
Speaker 1: Now I guess my advice to parents and I think

395
00:18:05,320 --> 00:18:07,320
Speaker 1: to going back to your original question, what do you

396
00:18:07,359 --> 00:18:11,600
Speaker 1: do if you quote unquote lose in the decision making.

397
00:18:12,400 --> 00:18:15,520
Speaker 1: It's not that you lose and you lose power, it's

398
00:18:15,800 --> 00:18:19,199
Speaker 1: you need to find other ways to reach that child

399
00:18:19,280 --> 00:18:23,520
Speaker 1: with your wisdom. And so obviously there's only one way

400
00:18:23,680 --> 00:18:27,120
Speaker 1: certain certain decisions can go, but that doesn't mean you

401
00:18:27,200 --> 00:18:31,520
Speaker 1: can't offer some reflection and some important lessons on what

402
00:18:31,720 --> 00:18:33,359
Speaker 1: just went down. Maybe it's not going to be as

403
00:18:33,400 --> 00:18:36,719
Speaker 1: extreme as you would have decided to do, but you

404
00:18:36,760 --> 00:18:38,359
Speaker 1: can still like and you did this, And this is

405
00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:40,879
Speaker 1: why I love it is you had talks with Taylor

406
00:18:41,600 --> 00:18:44,679
Speaker 1: explaining your position and how you felt about things, and

407
00:18:44,800 --> 00:18:46,760
Speaker 1: I think you can still in part wisdom even if

408
00:18:46,800 --> 00:18:49,159
Speaker 1: you don't fully get your way. Well, of course, and

409
00:18:49,200 --> 00:18:51,159
Speaker 1: that's but but that's co parenting. At the end of

410
00:18:51,160 --> 00:18:56,160
Speaker 1: the day, you're you're reaching that medium, that center point

411
00:18:56,400 --> 00:18:59,520
Speaker 1: and both being able to give that wisdom in your

412
00:18:59,560 --> 00:19:00,000
Speaker 1: side of things.

413
00:19:00,880 --> 00:19:02,560
Speaker 2: True, but I'm going to tell you why I don't

414
00:19:02,560 --> 00:19:04,879
Speaker 2: think what I did was toxic. As we have an

415
00:19:04,960 --> 00:19:08,680
Speaker 2: argument here on the podcast. Say that a kid gets

416
00:19:08,680 --> 00:19:11,919
Speaker 2: a speeding ticket and you disagree on the punishment or

417
00:19:11,960 --> 00:19:16,000
Speaker 2: the response, and then they get another speeding ticket. Wouldn't you,

418
00:19:16,080 --> 00:19:17,960
Speaker 2: as the parent who lost out on the way to

419
00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:20,280
Speaker 2: handle it that first time, be like, Okay, can we

420
00:19:20,359 --> 00:19:23,320
Speaker 2: try my method now because something did you do?

421
00:19:23,440 --> 00:19:25,600
Speaker 1: No, I would say we go back and say, let's

422
00:19:25,600 --> 00:19:28,600
Speaker 1: say someone got a speeding ticket and I and you'd

423
00:19:28,640 --> 00:19:30,560
Speaker 1: say I think they need to lose their car for

424
00:19:30,680 --> 00:19:34,480
Speaker 1: a month, and I'd be like, hm, let's just take

425
00:19:34,520 --> 00:19:36,200
Speaker 1: away their phone for a night. I don't know, I'm

426
00:19:36,200 --> 00:19:38,560
Speaker 1: just making this up. And they do it again two

427
00:19:38,600 --> 00:19:41,320
Speaker 1: weeks later. I would go back and be like, you

428
00:19:41,359 --> 00:19:44,240
Speaker 1: know what, you were right? This needs to be is exactly.

429
00:19:43,760 --> 00:19:45,919
Speaker 2: What I'm saying. I'm saying, I'm just banking it to

430
00:19:45,960 --> 00:19:48,160
Speaker 2: be like, Okay, you did not agree with my approach.

431
00:19:48,600 --> 00:19:51,520
Speaker 2: If a similar situation happens in the future, maybe we

432
00:19:51,640 --> 00:19:52,600
Speaker 2: go the Elsie way.

433
00:19:52,640 --> 00:19:56,520
Speaker 1: But I also think that you have to everyone needs

434
00:19:56,520 --> 00:19:58,600
Speaker 1: to understand as parents. I think everyone who is a

435
00:19:58,640 --> 00:20:01,800
Speaker 1: parent understands this. There is no perfect. There is no right,

436
00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:04,560
Speaker 1: there is no winning or losing. You do the best

437
00:20:04,560 --> 00:20:07,200
Speaker 1: you can with the information you have at the time,

438
00:20:07,280 --> 00:20:10,000
Speaker 1: and you're hopefully doing the best for your child. Sometimes

439
00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:12,680
Speaker 1: it's tough love. Sometimes it's being harsh. Sometimes it's putting

440
00:20:12,680 --> 00:20:15,000
Speaker 1: an arm around him telling him you still support him

441
00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:17,639
Speaker 1: and love him. It's a very and that actually believes

442
00:20:17,680 --> 00:20:18,959
Speaker 1: us in kind of this next story.

443
00:20:19,080 --> 00:20:20,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, you know, one more thing I do want

444
00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:22,080
Speaker 2: to say about the Gavin and Gwen thing, though I

445
00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:24,520
Speaker 2: wish I could remember which friends said this to me,

446
00:20:24,560 --> 00:20:26,280
Speaker 2: but I think it's a good note to leave this

447
00:20:26,359 --> 00:20:29,560
Speaker 2: one on. I was talking to a friend about the

448
00:20:29,600 --> 00:20:32,359
Speaker 2: situation of ours, and she was saying that, like, you know,

449
00:20:32,800 --> 00:20:35,840
Speaker 2: like she's a working mom, that her partner works. They're

450
00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:38,639
Speaker 2: so busy all the time. And she said, one of

451
00:20:38,680 --> 00:20:42,080
Speaker 2: the biggest things that helped us, I think, avoid disagreements

452
00:20:42,119 --> 00:20:45,240
Speaker 2: in the now is that before we ever became parents,

453
00:20:45,359 --> 00:20:48,920
Speaker 2: we had a ton of conversations about how we wanted

454
00:20:48,960 --> 00:20:51,720
Speaker 2: to parent, and so then when we're in the midst

455
00:20:51,720 --> 00:20:54,080
Speaker 2: of everybody's working and we're exhausted and the kids are crazy,

456
00:20:54,400 --> 00:20:56,480
Speaker 2: we kind of in our minds we were already on

457
00:20:56,520 --> 00:20:58,199
Speaker 2: the same page and we go back to what we

458
00:20:58,480 --> 00:21:02,040
Speaker 2: that foundation we'd laid, and I thought, God, that's so simple,

459
00:21:02,040 --> 00:21:04,880
Speaker 2: but how many people do it? You know, you're excited,

460
00:21:04,920 --> 00:21:06,600
Speaker 2: you're caught up been getting pregnant, but are you really

461
00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:10,399
Speaker 2: having discussions about how we want a parent beforehand? So

462
00:21:10,560 --> 00:21:11,560
Speaker 2: I loved that good.

463
00:21:11,440 --> 00:21:16,640
Speaker 1: Advice, and that honestly makes me admire what you have

464
00:21:16,680 --> 00:21:20,960
Speaker 1: done and what all people who enter into a parenting

465
00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:26,240
Speaker 1: situation and a step parenting situation where you haven't had

466
00:21:26,240 --> 00:21:28,800
Speaker 1: those conversations. You and I didn't grow up together talk

467
00:21:28,840 --> 00:21:31,840
Speaker 1: about having babies. You had to enter into this situation

468
00:21:31,960 --> 00:21:34,080
Speaker 1: and that's why you have done a brilliant job. And

469
00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:38,040
Speaker 1: it is and again my hat goes off to everybody,

470
00:21:38,119 --> 00:21:40,840
Speaker 1: men and women who step into these roles and love

471
00:21:40,920 --> 00:21:44,320
Speaker 1: kids and care for them and haven't had the opportunity

472
00:21:44,320 --> 00:21:48,520
Speaker 1: to have those conversations. And thanks Ben that grace came

473
00:21:48,640 --> 00:21:52,560
Speaker 1: up in this situation with Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards's daughter,

474
00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:55,760
Speaker 1: Yes she is, And this struck me again because she

475
00:21:55,920 --> 00:21:58,760
Speaker 1: is nineteen years old, the exact same age as by

476
00:21:58,840 --> 00:22:00,200
Speaker 1: daughter Tayloran.

477
00:22:00,240 --> 00:22:01,720
Speaker 2: We were laughing the other day about how you can

478
00:22:01,720 --> 00:22:04,639
Speaker 2: get for lack of a better word, triggered by just

479
00:22:04,680 --> 00:22:07,040
Speaker 2: what's you know, things did you like when you were

480
00:22:07,520 --> 00:22:10,760
Speaker 2: I don't know, when you're going through a divorce, celebrity

481
00:22:10,800 --> 00:22:13,800
Speaker 2: news divorce celebrity divorce news hits you where I lost

482
00:22:13,840 --> 00:22:16,760
Speaker 2: my dad and you're like watching the show Shrinking and

483
00:22:16,960 --> 00:22:19,400
Speaker 2: there's a loss in the beginning, and Chris is getting

484
00:22:19,480 --> 00:22:20,800
Speaker 2: very into it, and I'm like, I don't know that,

485
00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:23,080
Speaker 2: like that show hits me differently or you know. So

486
00:22:23,119 --> 00:22:26,760
Speaker 2: it's we're very much on this note with this next headline.

487
00:22:26,320 --> 00:22:29,720
Speaker 1: Because so this nineteen year old daughter of Denise and

488
00:22:29,840 --> 00:22:33,600
Speaker 1: Charlie Sheen, she's been on Only Fans. She just celebrated

489
00:22:33,640 --> 00:22:36,560
Speaker 1: her one year anniversary she turned eighteen. She joined Only

490
00:22:36,640 --> 00:22:42,679
Speaker 1: Fans and at first Charlie was actually outspoken about not

491
00:22:42,880 --> 00:22:47,879
Speaker 1: loving it and didn't condone this. He since changed course

492
00:22:48,160 --> 00:22:48,760
Speaker 1: as a parent.

493
00:22:48,960 --> 00:22:51,480
Speaker 2: He said he had a conversation with Denise Richards, his

494
00:22:51,560 --> 00:22:54,240
Speaker 2: ex Sammy's mom, his co parent, and he said that

495
00:22:54,280 --> 00:22:57,040
Speaker 2: Denise brought some points to light for him and made

496
00:22:57,119 --> 00:23:00,399
Speaker 2: him see the situation differently. And I really by the

497
00:23:00,440 --> 00:23:02,960
Speaker 2: way Charlie Sheen, I mean, the man said his headlines

498
00:23:02,960 --> 00:23:05,240
Speaker 2: over the years, but I admire that in an interview.

499
00:23:05,280 --> 00:23:07,080
Speaker 2: He said, no, I spoke to my ex wife and

500
00:23:07,080 --> 00:23:08,760
Speaker 2: she helped me see it differently, and I feel differently

501
00:23:08,760 --> 00:23:10,919
Speaker 2: about it. That's a pretty mature thing to reve Now.

502
00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:13,040
Speaker 1: I put my arm around her, and I give her

503
00:23:13,080 --> 00:23:18,000
Speaker 1: the support that she deserves and needs and the and

504
00:23:18,080 --> 00:23:21,439
Speaker 1: I don't know what she does on OnlyFans. I have

505
00:23:21,520 --> 00:23:21,920
Speaker 1: no idea.

506
00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:24,760
Speaker 2: It's very interesting because Sammy's made a lot of headlines

507
00:23:24,800 --> 00:23:28,479
Speaker 2: for referring to herself yes as a sex worker, and

508
00:23:28,520 --> 00:23:31,399
Speaker 2: then she clarified and said, well, listen, I'm not like

509
00:23:31,480 --> 00:23:33,960
Speaker 2: having sex on camera. I'm not doing what you would

510
00:23:33,960 --> 00:23:36,919
Speaker 2: call porn, but I call myself a sex worker because

511
00:23:36,960 --> 00:23:39,200
Speaker 2: of the other things I'm doing. And she said, and

512
00:23:39,600 --> 00:23:41,399
Speaker 2: I think there's no shame in being a sex worker.

513
00:23:41,440 --> 00:23:43,920
Speaker 2: And to be honest, I admire her at a young

514
00:23:43,920 --> 00:23:47,439
Speaker 2: age for classifying herself in that way and saying that

515
00:23:47,520 --> 00:23:49,720
Speaker 2: she doesn't think there's shame in the profession. I mean,

516
00:23:49,720 --> 00:23:52,200
Speaker 2: it's a really interesting case with her and her mom

517
00:23:52,560 --> 00:23:56,560
Speaker 2: because Denise Richards has said, look, I did the movie

518
00:23:56,600 --> 00:23:59,719
Speaker 2: Wild Things, I posed for Playboy, so who am I

519
00:23:59,800 --> 00:24:03,439
Speaker 2: to judge here? And also I was just really thinking,

520
00:24:03,920 --> 00:24:06,439
Speaker 2: I don't know, is that the equivalent is only fans,

521
00:24:06,560 --> 00:24:08,160
Speaker 2: like very similar to that today And.

522
00:24:08,160 --> 00:24:09,840
Speaker 1: By the way, we don't have them. We didn't have

523
00:24:09,880 --> 00:24:11,800
Speaker 1: only fans back in the day, so you had to

524
00:24:11,800 --> 00:24:14,480
Speaker 1: be in what was called a magazine and maybe that's

525
00:24:14,520 --> 00:24:16,440
Speaker 1: more lasting than only fans.

526
00:24:16,640 --> 00:24:19,040
Speaker 2: Way out there. He didn't get paid, well.

527
00:24:18,920 --> 00:24:21,480
Speaker 1: You definitely didn't get paid, Hugh Hefner did and he

528
00:24:21,480 --> 00:24:22,600
Speaker 1: had a big mansion.

529
00:24:22,359 --> 00:24:24,040
Speaker 2: Right, so why not profit from it?

530
00:24:24,160 --> 00:24:27,840
Speaker 1: At least you own it. Look, whether it's Taylor Swift

531
00:24:27,840 --> 00:24:30,840
Speaker 1: and her music, whether it's only fans. I know that

532
00:24:30,920 --> 00:24:34,520
Speaker 1: Denise who joined only fans later as well in kind

533
00:24:34,520 --> 00:24:38,160
Speaker 1: of you know, solidarity with her daughter Sammy. It's like, look,

534
00:24:38,200 --> 00:24:40,200
Speaker 1: she's catching a lot of grief. I'm going to join

535
00:24:40,240 --> 00:24:43,600
Speaker 1: this as well. They're both And again I'm no judgment

536
00:24:43,640 --> 00:24:46,000
Speaker 1: whether this is good or bad. They are making a

537
00:24:46,119 --> 00:24:49,520
Speaker 1: crap ton of money, hundreds of thousands of dollars a month,

538
00:24:49,560 --> 00:24:52,359
Speaker 1: so say what you will. Again, I'm not condoning it.

539
00:24:52,480 --> 00:24:56,000
Speaker 1: I'm not shaming it. I'm just saying they are making banks.

540
00:24:56,040 --> 00:24:58,800
Speaker 2: Babe, let's get you on OnlyFans, I would do.

541
00:24:58,960 --> 00:25:01,680
Speaker 1: I think feet stuff a really good feet for a man.

542
00:25:03,440 --> 00:25:06,359
Speaker 1: Is there is there a market for that?

543
00:25:06,800 --> 00:25:09,280
Speaker 2: By the way, Yes, I'm sure there is there's a

544
00:25:09,280 --> 00:25:12,560
Speaker 2: market for everything. I'm gonna ask you the tough question, but.

545
00:25:12,560 --> 00:25:14,639
Speaker 1: Here's my thing, and I know you go because this

546
00:25:14,720 --> 00:25:15,440
Speaker 1: isn't my point.

547
00:25:15,480 --> 00:25:18,280
Speaker 2: Well, you know what I'm gonna ask. Yes, if either

548
00:25:18,320 --> 00:25:21,000
Speaker 2: of the kids, Yeah, came to you and said, I'm

549
00:25:21,040 --> 00:25:23,399
Speaker 2: gonna be on only fans because Sammy is saying, this

550
00:25:23,480 --> 00:25:26,119
Speaker 2: is my job. That's what I'm doing professionally. If they

551
00:25:26,160 --> 00:25:28,720
Speaker 2: said that, she says she loves her job, what would

552
00:25:28,720 --> 00:25:29,679
Speaker 2: you say to them?

553
00:25:30,359 --> 00:25:32,600
Speaker 1: This is and this goes back to kind of our

554
00:25:32,680 --> 00:25:37,040
Speaker 1: disagreement with what happened this summer. Sammy is a nineteen

555
00:25:37,119 --> 00:25:43,240
Speaker 1: year old woman. She is technically an adult. Now is

556
00:25:43,280 --> 00:25:46,919
Speaker 1: she a grown woman? No, she's not. I would say

557
00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:49,280
Speaker 1: that she does not have the life experience that her

558
00:25:49,320 --> 00:25:51,520
Speaker 1: mom and dad do. She does not have the life

559
00:25:51,600 --> 00:25:54,720
Speaker 1: experience that she will when she is twenty five, which

560
00:25:54,760 --> 00:25:58,240
Speaker 1: is still very young, thirty five, forty five, fifty five.

561
00:25:58,920 --> 00:26:01,119
Speaker 1: Now will she look back? I can regret this, I

562
00:26:01,160 --> 00:26:03,040
Speaker 1: don't know. And I think what Charlie said is the

563
00:26:03,119 --> 00:26:07,960
Speaker 1: dad is kind of probably apropost it was. I can't

564
00:26:07,960 --> 00:26:10,600
Speaker 1: believe I'm saying I agree with Charlie Sheen and parenting.

565
00:26:10,640 --> 00:26:13,159
Speaker 1: But he said, look, keep it classy, just try not

566
00:26:13,240 --> 00:26:15,840
Speaker 1: to do anything that you will regret. But at nineteen,

567
00:26:16,440 --> 00:26:19,159
Speaker 1: do you have the mechanism to do things you won't regret?

568
00:26:19,240 --> 00:26:21,879
Speaker 1: I think of myself at nineteen, I think of my kids.

569
00:26:22,840 --> 00:26:25,439
Speaker 1: I don't know if you are equipped. You just don't

570
00:26:25,440 --> 00:26:28,280
Speaker 1: have that computer chip in you yet, you're not upgraded

571
00:26:28,320 --> 00:26:29,000
Speaker 1: to that model.

572
00:26:29,320 --> 00:26:34,040
Speaker 2: Well, and let's you know, look, people are first of all,

573
00:26:34,080 --> 00:26:36,000
Speaker 2: we're all making mistakes of that age. But then I

574
00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:38,680
Speaker 2: think any celebrity of any level is making mistakes on

575
00:26:38,720 --> 00:26:42,119
Speaker 2: a public scale totally. So Sammy is doing stuff on

576
00:26:42,119 --> 00:26:44,919
Speaker 2: OnlyFans and that's public and known. But like you could be,

577
00:26:45,160 --> 00:26:49,119
Speaker 2: you know, justin Bieber or any star at that age

578
00:26:49,560 --> 00:26:51,360
Speaker 2: is probably going to do some things in the limelight

579
00:26:51,400 --> 00:26:53,480
Speaker 2: that they'll later look back and wish they hadn't done,

580
00:26:53,520 --> 00:26:56,480
Speaker 2: which is really hard because it's in the public eye.

581
00:26:56,520 --> 00:26:57,800
Speaker 1: And what you want to do is you want to

582
00:26:57,840 --> 00:27:00,960
Speaker 1: give your kids that room to make mistakes. That's how

583
00:27:00,960 --> 00:27:03,520
Speaker 1: you learn. You want them to grow and push the

584
00:27:03,640 --> 00:27:07,480
Speaker 1: envelope and make mistakes. But for someone of this ilk,

585
00:27:07,960 --> 00:27:11,200
Speaker 1: it's so public. That's the thing for these celebrity kids.

586
00:27:11,440 --> 00:27:14,240
Speaker 2: But you know, Denise, like she said, she posed in magazines,

587
00:27:14,280 --> 00:27:18,560
Speaker 2: she did all that stuff. And I I saw this interview.

588
00:27:18,600 --> 00:27:21,200
Speaker 2: I don't know which OnlyFans model it was, but somebody

589
00:27:21,240 --> 00:27:23,600
Speaker 2: who's big on OnlyFans did an interview with Piers Morgan

590
00:27:24,000 --> 00:27:26,200
Speaker 2: that weren't kind of viral because he said, well, don't

591
00:27:26,240 --> 00:27:28,520
Speaker 2: you wonder what your children will look back and think

592
00:27:28,520 --> 00:27:32,239
Speaker 2: on with this content? And she's British and she goes, well,

593
00:27:32,240 --> 00:27:36,320
Speaker 2: they'll be looking back from a Ferrari. Well, it's not

594
00:27:36,359 --> 00:27:38,239
Speaker 2: a bad point. You're making money for your family, and

595
00:27:38,280 --> 00:27:38,880
Speaker 2: I is.

596
00:27:38,800 --> 00:27:41,840
Speaker 1: That The bottom line is the bottom line, the bottom line,

597
00:27:41,880 --> 00:27:44,520
Speaker 1: you know? Is it just Hey, you're making bank. Don't

598
00:27:44,520 --> 00:27:48,639
Speaker 1: worry to me. I guess as you asked my opinion

599
00:27:48,640 --> 00:27:51,480
Speaker 1: of what I would do with my kids. Life gets tricky.

600
00:27:51,520 --> 00:27:54,360
Speaker 1: Parenting gets tricky when your kids are adults. Now they're

601
00:27:54,359 --> 00:27:57,240
Speaker 1: still living under my roof. Technically I'm still paying for college,

602
00:27:57,520 --> 00:27:59,920
Speaker 1: so I feel like I have a little bit more say.

603
00:28:02,240 --> 00:28:04,880
Speaker 1: But at the end of the day, if my son

604
00:28:05,000 --> 00:28:07,280
Speaker 1: or daughter want to emancipate and like fully break away

605
00:28:07,320 --> 00:28:09,439
Speaker 1: and just leave, they can. There's nothing I can do

606
00:28:09,480 --> 00:28:12,399
Speaker 1: about it. They are grown adults technically in this world

607
00:28:12,720 --> 00:28:16,480
Speaker 1: nineteen and twenty one years old. But I try to

608
00:28:16,600 --> 00:28:19,439
Speaker 1: just guide them and help them, knowing that at the

609
00:28:19,480 --> 00:28:21,680
Speaker 1: end of the day they are at this point making

610
00:28:21,720 --> 00:28:24,520
Speaker 1: the final decision. Sammy Richards is making the final decision.

611
00:28:24,960 --> 00:28:27,160
Speaker 1: I would just try to guide her as her dad

612
00:28:27,200 --> 00:28:29,600
Speaker 1: and mom seem to be doing of Let's try not

613
00:28:29,680 --> 00:28:31,800
Speaker 1: to make that fatal layer. Let's try to keep it

614
00:28:31,840 --> 00:28:34,480
Speaker 1: between the navigational beacons in some way to where at

615
00:28:34,560 --> 00:28:36,879
Speaker 1: nineteen you can be proud of this later.

616
00:28:37,720 --> 00:28:40,200
Speaker 2: Love. That one thing I've learned from you a lot

617
00:28:40,280 --> 00:28:43,160
Speaker 2: is all my love and shout out to Donna Zima,

618
00:28:43,160 --> 00:28:45,840
Speaker 2: who's been on the podcast before. But my mom was

619
00:28:45,880 --> 00:28:48,720
Speaker 2: a much more harsh parent than you are. It was

620
00:28:48,800 --> 00:28:55,880
Speaker 2: like about punishments and groundings and yelling. And I have

621
00:28:56,080 --> 00:29:02,120
Speaker 2: seen you be such an effective parent through patients, through

622
00:29:02,160 --> 00:29:06,320
Speaker 2: calm responses, through Hey, I love you no matter what.

623
00:29:06,520 --> 00:29:09,680
Speaker 2: But what do you think about? What do you think

624
00:29:09,720 --> 00:29:11,960
Speaker 2: you'll think about this decision X amount of years? You

625
00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:15,080
Speaker 2: know it's and like that gentle challenging you make it

626
00:29:15,200 --> 00:29:15,800
Speaker 2: very effective.

627
00:29:15,880 --> 00:29:18,160
Speaker 1: So thank you. One thing I will throw out at

628
00:29:18,160 --> 00:29:20,239
Speaker 1: the end of this there's a great book that I

629
00:29:20,280 --> 00:29:25,239
Speaker 1: read many years ago called Bounce by Michael Sayed, and

630
00:29:25,520 --> 00:29:27,840
Speaker 1: it's kind of in the same vein of Malcolm Gladwell.

631
00:29:28,640 --> 00:29:31,360
Speaker 1: He took that Gladwell idea of the Tipping Point. If

632
00:29:31,400 --> 00:29:34,160
Speaker 1: you've ever read The Tipping Point, that ten thousand hour rule,

633
00:29:34,440 --> 00:29:37,600
Speaker 1: and Bounce kind of if you coach kids, work with kids,

634
00:29:37,720 --> 00:29:40,720
Speaker 1: deal with kids, read this book. It changed my life

635
00:29:40,800 --> 00:29:42,880
Speaker 1: and my perspective on my kids, the way I spoke

636
00:29:42,920 --> 00:29:45,880
Speaker 1: to my kids, the way it kind of comes from

637
00:29:45,880 --> 00:29:49,960
Speaker 1: an athletic perspective, mostly because this guy was a world

638
00:29:50,000 --> 00:29:52,880
Speaker 1: class table tennis player. I know that sounds wild, but.

639
00:29:52,920 --> 00:29:54,680
Speaker 2: His table tennis ping pong, ping pong, yes.

640
00:29:54,640 --> 00:29:58,040
Speaker 1: Essentially, but he was like Olympic level, crazy, world class,

641
00:29:58,040 --> 00:30:01,680
Speaker 1: and so it's an amazing that he then took into

642
00:30:02,520 --> 00:30:05,120
Speaker 1: the way to teach, coach and all that, and I

643
00:30:05,240 --> 00:30:07,840
Speaker 1: have learned. I learned so much many many years ago

644
00:30:08,400 --> 00:30:10,640
Speaker 1: from that. And then again just the perspective of now

645
00:30:10,640 --> 00:30:13,280
Speaker 1: I'm fifty one years old and have lived a life

646
00:30:13,280 --> 00:30:14,680
Speaker 1: and I've seen these kids grow up.

647
00:30:27,400 --> 00:30:31,160
Speaker 2: One more quick parenting headline. So we did that podcast.

648
00:30:31,200 --> 00:30:34,120
Speaker 2: If everybody listened, thank you, and if not, please go

649
00:30:34,160 --> 00:30:36,600
Speaker 2: back and listen to the podcast. We did with doctor

650
00:30:36,680 --> 00:30:40,719
Speaker 2: Sterling about being older parents, literally having kids at an

651
00:30:40,720 --> 00:30:43,480
Speaker 2: older age, from both a male and female perspective of

652
00:30:43,840 --> 00:30:47,400
Speaker 2: biology and emotion and everything in between. Now, this was

653
00:30:47,440 --> 00:30:51,239
Speaker 2: before the news dropped that Courtney Kardashian is pregnant at

654
00:30:51,240 --> 00:30:53,840
Speaker 2: forty four. But this we were doing it because of

655
00:30:53,840 --> 00:30:56,960
Speaker 2: Alpacino and Robert de Niro becoming Dad's much older two

656
00:30:57,080 --> 00:31:00,440
Speaker 2: x with Gyes. Yeah huh So now this time is

657
00:31:00,440 --> 00:31:02,200
Speaker 2: in the headlines again. I mean, I'm looking at a

658
00:31:02,200 --> 00:31:05,240
Speaker 2: headline right now from Glamour. Why are women being shamed

659
00:31:05,280 --> 00:31:07,680
Speaker 2: for the age they have children, or why are women

660
00:31:07,720 --> 00:31:10,000
Speaker 2: like Courtney Kardashian being shamed for the age they choose

661
00:31:10,040 --> 00:31:12,800
Speaker 2: to have children? Because people are coming for Courtney in

662
00:31:12,840 --> 00:31:16,160
Speaker 2: the comments, saying she's being irresponsible for being pregnant at

663
00:31:16,160 --> 00:31:17,360
Speaker 2: forty four because.

664
00:31:17,200 --> 00:31:18,880
Speaker 1: Breeding with these old eggs.

665
00:31:18,720 --> 00:31:21,560
Speaker 2: I know, horrible things and I love it. Because also

666
00:31:21,600 --> 00:31:25,480
Speaker 2: our friend doctor Sterling, when on her Instagram, defended her.

667
00:31:25,760 --> 00:31:27,600
Speaker 2: Go follow doctor Sterling if you don't.

668
00:31:28,600 --> 00:31:30,680
Speaker 1: But and we talked a little bit about this. We

669
00:31:30,760 --> 00:31:34,040
Speaker 1: obviously were focusing on Pacino and de Niro, but she

670
00:31:34,120 --> 00:31:35,000
Speaker 1: went into women.

671
00:31:35,320 --> 00:31:37,400
Speaker 2: She gave me a lot of hope, and I actually

672
00:31:37,400 --> 00:31:39,440
Speaker 2: have several friends tell me they loved listening to it

673
00:31:39,480 --> 00:31:42,960
Speaker 2: because again, I'm thirty five. My friends are thirty six mostly,

674
00:31:43,080 --> 00:31:45,600
Speaker 2: and some of them don't have kids yet are and

675
00:31:45,760 --> 00:31:50,120
Speaker 2: really felt the stress of this essential sort of vibe

676
00:31:50,120 --> 00:31:52,800
Speaker 2: that we have in our culture that the science says,

677
00:31:53,320 --> 00:31:56,640
Speaker 2: if you have kids over thirty five, you're screwed and

678
00:31:56,680 --> 00:31:58,120
Speaker 2: horrible and you shouldn't have done it, and your kids

679
00:31:58,160 --> 00:32:01,440
Speaker 2: are like. So I I am here in defense of

680
00:32:01,440 --> 00:32:04,720
Speaker 2: Courtney Kardashian as well, and I know some people are saying, well,

681
00:32:04,720 --> 00:32:07,800
Speaker 2: she's coming from this place of privilege and she has

682
00:32:07,840 --> 00:32:10,360
Speaker 2: the money to do these fertility treatments. I mean, look,

683
00:32:10,400 --> 00:32:12,360
Speaker 2: on the one hand, yes, but on the other hand, well,

684
00:32:12,360 --> 00:32:14,280
Speaker 2: if you have the money, like, I'm not going to

685
00:32:14,320 --> 00:32:16,440
Speaker 2: deny someone the ability to have a baby if.

686
00:32:16,400 --> 00:32:20,240
Speaker 1: Wells Doctor Sterling, who is again the medical side of this,

687
00:32:20,880 --> 00:32:27,480
Speaker 1: very appropriately said technically, yes, as you get older, things

688
00:32:27,520 --> 00:32:30,280
Speaker 1: can change, but she says you can also mitigate those risks.

689
00:32:30,360 --> 00:32:32,720
Speaker 1: There are many things you can do, and she said

690
00:32:32,800 --> 00:32:35,240
Speaker 1: also as we get older, there are positives.

691
00:32:35,480 --> 00:32:37,200
Speaker 2: That was fascinating telling.

692
00:32:36,880 --> 00:32:40,080
Speaker 1: Babies and getting pregnant at an older age. So it's yes,

693
00:32:40,200 --> 00:32:42,560
Speaker 1: there are some risks but if that's all you look at,

694
00:32:42,600 --> 00:32:44,040
Speaker 1: you're not looking at the full picture.

695
00:32:44,840 --> 00:32:47,240
Speaker 2: I just think we have a lot of people in

696
00:32:47,280 --> 00:32:50,360
Speaker 2: this world, honestly, who are bad parents or who are

697
00:32:50,960 --> 00:32:53,520
Speaker 2: really mediocre parents. You see headlines all the time. I

698
00:32:53,560 --> 00:32:55,800
Speaker 2: see them on people dot com of I saw a

699
00:32:55,800 --> 00:32:58,440
Speaker 2: headline yesterday I have a woman who went on vacation

700
00:32:59,160 --> 00:33:02,120
Speaker 2: and left her infant baby at home and the baby died.

701
00:33:02,680 --> 00:33:05,600
Speaker 2: So I don't mean to be morbid. I'm just saying,

702
00:33:06,200 --> 00:33:08,160
Speaker 2: if there are people in this world who want to

703
00:33:08,200 --> 00:33:10,920
Speaker 2: go be good parents, who are craving to have a child,

704
00:33:11,480 --> 00:33:13,800
Speaker 2: and who can do it in a healthy way, and

705
00:33:14,400 --> 00:33:18,280
Speaker 2: obviously the Kardashians, the Kardashian Barker legacy has plenty of

706
00:33:18,360 --> 00:33:21,080
Speaker 2: money to give a kid a beautiful life, like then

707
00:33:21,160 --> 00:33:21,800
Speaker 2: have a baby.

708
00:33:21,920 --> 00:33:25,480
Speaker 1: And by the way, the way Courtney announced this, that's

709
00:33:25,640 --> 00:33:27,760
Speaker 1: so cute. You did it at a Blink one eighty

710
00:33:27,760 --> 00:33:30,560
Speaker 1: two concert with obviously Travis Parker's and Blink one eighty two.

711
00:33:30,800 --> 00:33:34,080
Speaker 1: She held up a sign at the concert and some

712
00:33:34,120 --> 00:33:37,560
Speaker 1: people were giving her grief about, you know, it being

713
00:33:37,600 --> 00:33:39,360
Speaker 1: so public and the way she did it and that

714
00:33:39,440 --> 00:33:43,800
Speaker 1: it was staged. You think you think a Kardashian state,

715
00:33:43,920 --> 00:33:46,280
Speaker 1: like knew that they would get pressed with this, of course,

716
00:33:46,320 --> 00:33:47,440
Speaker 1: but like who cares?

717
00:33:47,520 --> 00:33:49,719
Speaker 2: Well, she was doing a nod to a Blink one

718
00:33:49,760 --> 00:33:50,680
Speaker 2: eighty two music.

719
00:33:50,440 --> 00:33:51,360
Speaker 1: Areas part of the video.

720
00:33:51,520 --> 00:33:53,360
Speaker 2: Yes, it was. She was a callback to the video,

721
00:33:53,480 --> 00:33:55,640
Speaker 2: and I ever.

722
00:33:55,560 --> 00:33:57,440
Speaker 1: Came up with that idea jails by the way, I

723
00:33:57,480 --> 00:33:59,640
Speaker 1: don't know if it was Courtney or pr or whoever,

724
00:34:00,080 --> 00:34:02,080
Speaker 1: but basically to play out the video and to kind

725
00:34:02,080 --> 00:34:04,760
Speaker 1: of roll it back on Travis Parker was awesome, But like,

726
00:34:05,120 --> 00:34:07,200
Speaker 1: what do we care that it was how she announced

727
00:34:07,240 --> 00:34:08,239
Speaker 1: it and that it was stage coming.

728
00:34:08,280 --> 00:34:12,920
Speaker 2: Well, look, the Kardashians are excellent at making careers out

729
00:34:12,960 --> 00:34:18,240
Speaker 2: of being commended and being criticized. So congrats to court

730
00:34:18,320 --> 00:34:21,080
Speaker 2: me And if you guys haven't listened to that podcast

731
00:34:21,080 --> 00:34:23,040
Speaker 2: with Doctor Sterling, please go check it out and let

732
00:34:23,160 --> 00:34:24,880
Speaker 2: us know what you think. And if you'd like more Podor.

733
00:34:24,680 --> 00:34:27,040
Speaker 1: We're going to have her on again because just we

734
00:34:27,080 --> 00:34:29,680
Speaker 1: had I've had so many women come up to me

735
00:34:30,080 --> 00:34:33,719
Speaker 1: and you've the same direct message et cetera saying, man,

736
00:34:33,760 --> 00:34:36,799
Speaker 1: that was a great, honest talk to hear her. I

737
00:34:36,800 --> 00:34:40,320
Speaker 1: think it's just kind of taboo to have these conversations

738
00:34:40,840 --> 00:34:43,600
Speaker 1: and really speak out honestly about some of this stuff.

739
00:34:43,640 --> 00:34:44,959
Speaker 1: So we're going to do more of that and maybe

740
00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:47,520
Speaker 1: take some of your questions and take them to doctor Sterling.

741
00:34:48,040 --> 00:34:53,360
Speaker 1: Speaking of criticism. Oh, before we go, my girl, Taylor Swift,

742
00:34:54,320 --> 00:34:56,840
Speaker 1: proud Swift, Swifty, I'm a Swifty, so just know that

743
00:34:57,239 --> 00:34:59,959
Speaker 1: you know what side I'm coming on. So Taylor Swift

744
00:35:00,160 --> 00:35:03,759
Speaker 1: has released her albums, re released her albums because she

745
00:35:03,800 --> 00:35:06,080
Speaker 1: lost her catalog in twenty nineteen. It was kind of

746
00:35:06,360 --> 00:35:09,120
Speaker 1: taken out from under her and sold, and so she

747
00:35:09,320 --> 00:35:13,839
Speaker 1: has brilliantly and the effort and money and time it

748
00:35:13,880 --> 00:35:18,400
Speaker 1: takes to re record your entire catalog with Taylor's version

749
00:35:18,560 --> 00:35:21,200
Speaker 1: is insane to me while you're trying to tour and

750
00:35:21,280 --> 00:35:23,560
Speaker 1: all that. So kudos to her. But she's going to

751
00:35:23,600 --> 00:35:26,000
Speaker 1: re release this latest.

752
00:35:25,680 --> 00:35:28,440
Speaker 2: Album, speak Now, Ingenuous one Speak.

753
00:35:28,440 --> 00:35:32,760
Speaker 1: And so she went was it a video at her concert?

754
00:35:32,880 --> 00:35:35,000
Speaker 2: So no, She's on her airas tour right now, and

755
00:35:35,760 --> 00:35:38,480
Speaker 2: during a moment of one of the stops, she kind

756
00:35:38,480 --> 00:35:40,840
Speaker 2: of spoke out to the fans and said, look, speak

757
00:35:40,880 --> 00:35:44,239
Speaker 2: Now is coming out and I would love here you

758
00:35:44,239 --> 00:35:47,120
Speaker 2: know what I'll read the basically ask you for some grace, right, Well,

759
00:35:47,239 --> 00:35:49,759
Speaker 2: not for herself for other people, she said, because on

760
00:35:49,840 --> 00:35:54,080
Speaker 2: Speak now are the songs rumored to be about, for example,

761
00:35:54,160 --> 00:35:57,359
Speaker 2: John Mayor, and people have really come for John Mayer

762
00:35:57,360 --> 00:36:00,560
Speaker 2: over the years because of the songs the lyrics that

763
00:36:00,600 --> 00:36:03,640
Speaker 2: they think are about him. They probably are. And their

764
00:36:03,640 --> 00:36:06,120
Speaker 2: big thing was there was a big age gap between

765
00:36:06,120 --> 00:36:07,799
Speaker 2: the two of them, and Taylor was quite young when

766
00:36:07,800 --> 00:36:10,120
Speaker 2: they dated. I think like only nineteen, so I.

767
00:36:10,160 --> 00:36:12,279
Speaker 1: Think, seriously it wasn't even the age gap as much

768
00:36:12,280 --> 00:36:13,920
Speaker 1: as the ages the ages.

769
00:36:13,960 --> 00:36:15,960
Speaker 2: You're right, she was nineteen, as we were just saying,

770
00:36:15,960 --> 00:36:17,560
Speaker 2: at nineteen, you don't really know who you are yet,

771
00:36:17,600 --> 00:36:21,319
Speaker 2: and John was a good amount older. So Taylor said

772
00:36:21,360 --> 00:36:23,960
Speaker 2: to the crowd quote, I was hoping to ask you

773
00:36:24,000 --> 00:36:25,919
Speaker 2: that as we lead up to this album coming out,

774
00:36:26,000 --> 00:36:29,360
Speaker 2: I would love for kindness and gentleness to extend onto

775
00:36:29,400 --> 00:36:33,080
Speaker 2: our internet activities. I'm thirty three years old. I don't

776
00:36:33,080 --> 00:36:35,560
Speaker 2: care about anything that happened to me when I was nineteen,

777
00:36:35,760 --> 00:36:39,920
Speaker 2: except the songs I wrote. She told her the audience,

778
00:36:40,000 --> 00:36:41,640
Speaker 2: you should not feel the need to defend me on

779
00:36:41,680 --> 00:36:43,840
Speaker 2: the internet against someone you think. I might have written

780
00:36:43,880 --> 00:36:47,120
Speaker 2: a song about fourteen billion years ago. Now it stuck

781
00:36:47,200 --> 00:36:52,040
Speaker 2: out to me about This quote specifically was I'm thirty

782
00:36:52,080 --> 00:36:54,720
Speaker 2: three years old. I don't care about anything that happened

783
00:36:54,719 --> 00:36:57,959
Speaker 2: to me when I was nineteen except the songs I wrote.

784
00:36:59,040 --> 00:37:02,680
Speaker 2: I love that, and I think it's such an important

785
00:37:02,840 --> 00:37:06,400
Speaker 2: message for everybody, Like, honestly, take out the part about

786
00:37:06,400 --> 00:37:08,799
Speaker 2: like don't come for John Mayer. It's such a good

787
00:37:08,840 --> 00:37:12,200
Speaker 2: reminder for kids now to be like, this too shall pass.

788
00:37:12,520 --> 00:37:14,960
Speaker 2: The breakups that are bothering you now are not going

789
00:37:15,040 --> 00:37:16,960
Speaker 2: to stick with you at thirty three. They will help

790
00:37:17,000 --> 00:37:20,320
Speaker 2: shape who you become. You will take away the important lessons,

791
00:37:20,680 --> 00:37:23,799
Speaker 2: but don't let it be like like you're not going

792
00:37:23,880 --> 00:37:25,719
Speaker 2: to be upset about the same guy or girl or

793
00:37:25,760 --> 00:37:29,239
Speaker 2: whoever in fifteen years. And I love that she told

794
00:37:29,280 --> 00:37:31,520
Speaker 2: the audience that she's like, I'm not holding onto this bitterness.

795
00:37:31,680 --> 00:37:33,239
Speaker 1: I'm hopay I've moved on right.

796
00:37:33,280 --> 00:37:36,680
Speaker 2: I mean, again, those experiences to shape you. But by

797
00:37:36,680 --> 00:37:39,719
Speaker 2: the way, I also even though she said that, I

798
00:37:39,719 --> 00:37:41,360
Speaker 2: don't think it's going to work well, the thing is,

799
00:37:41,360 --> 00:37:43,399
Speaker 2: people are still going to come for Jean Mahor in.

800
00:37:43,360 --> 00:37:47,319
Speaker 1: Their defense the Swifties. You know, if you were going

801
00:37:47,360 --> 00:37:50,279
Speaker 1: to use some of this as cannon fodder and your

802
00:37:50,320 --> 00:37:56,400
Speaker 1: songs in any art there, you're hoping to elicit a reaction.

803
00:37:56,560 --> 00:38:01,560
Speaker 1: So these these songs elicit emotion reaction. So it's hard

804
00:38:01,600 --> 00:38:04,680
Speaker 1: to put this out in the world as that is

805
00:38:04,680 --> 00:38:08,240
Speaker 1: the intent. And then when you get that emotion.

806
00:38:09,480 --> 00:38:12,120
Speaker 2: Well, what's different and scary and hard now is when

807
00:38:12,120 --> 00:38:14,680
Speaker 2: she first wrote these songs, we didn't have social media

808
00:38:14,680 --> 00:38:16,399
Speaker 2: on the level it is now. I mean, think about it,

809
00:38:17,000 --> 00:38:20,880
Speaker 2: not that long ago in time. If you artists have

810
00:38:20,920 --> 00:38:23,320
Speaker 2: always used their own lives as inspiration, and if somebody

811
00:38:23,360 --> 00:38:25,840
Speaker 2: wrote a breakup song about someone, even if as a

812
00:38:25,880 --> 00:38:28,040
Speaker 2: fan you knew who it was, you couldn't immediately go

813
00:38:28,080 --> 00:38:30,239
Speaker 2: on their Instagram and type something horrible to them or

814
00:38:30,280 --> 00:38:32,440
Speaker 2: send them a horrible DM. But now you can.

815
00:38:32,600 --> 00:38:34,640
Speaker 1: I found that that happened on the show quite a

816
00:38:34,719 --> 00:38:38,000
Speaker 1: bit too. You know, people would be over a breakup

817
00:38:38,560 --> 00:38:41,400
Speaker 1: and the person that got broken up with or cheated on,

818
00:38:41,520 --> 00:38:44,720
Speaker 1: whatever it was, would come back and say, guys, I'm okay,

819
00:38:45,480 --> 00:38:49,239
Speaker 1: I'm fine, you don't need to hate this person, but

820
00:38:49,880 --> 00:38:52,279
Speaker 1: there is something out there, and I guess you're right.

821
00:38:52,320 --> 00:38:55,240
Speaker 1: The times have changed so much that between Twitter and Instagram,

822
00:38:55,360 --> 00:38:57,160
Speaker 1: TikTok and all that that they just get.

823
00:38:57,280 --> 00:39:00,239
Speaker 2: Hammered and well, you've also probably got a lot of

824
00:39:00,320 --> 00:39:04,160
Speaker 2: young fans listening to Taylor Swift who still you know,

825
00:39:04,160 --> 00:39:07,720
Speaker 2: when you're young, those emotions are so strong, you crush

826
00:39:07,880 --> 00:39:11,280
Speaker 2: so hard, you feel sung so much, and they don't

827
00:39:11,320 --> 00:39:14,040
Speaker 2: have that perspective of time. So I liked that she

828
00:39:14,120 --> 00:39:16,359
Speaker 2: said that. Again, I don't know if it'll really hit home.

829
00:39:16,440 --> 00:39:18,640
Speaker 1: And John Mayer's just out there rocking with the Grateful Dead,

830
00:39:18,680 --> 00:39:19,520
Speaker 1: I think these days.

831
00:39:19,640 --> 00:39:24,440
Speaker 2: I mean, here's a question. Is there any ex now

832
00:39:25,080 --> 00:39:28,960
Speaker 2: who you would feel weird running into? Like I don't

833
00:39:28,960 --> 00:39:30,960
Speaker 2: need you to name names, but I'm just like, yes,

834
00:39:31,360 --> 00:39:34,399
Speaker 2: there is Yeah, like you what would you? You wouldn't even

835
00:39:34,400 --> 00:39:36,040
Speaker 2: say hi? Or you would say hi? Or what?

836
00:39:36,640 --> 00:39:39,400
Speaker 1: There's there's two one I would actually like to see

837
00:39:39,760 --> 00:39:43,399
Speaker 1: just to reconnect. Uh and then not like in that way,

838
00:39:43,400 --> 00:39:43,960
Speaker 1: don't look at.

839
00:39:44,880 --> 00:39:48,760
Speaker 2: The question was when you feel weird? Al let's headline

840
00:39:48,800 --> 00:39:51,839
Speaker 2: this podcast Lauren and Chris break up?

841
00:39:53,040 --> 00:39:55,200
Speaker 1: But no, and then there's there are exes I would

842
00:39:55,200 --> 00:39:59,319
Speaker 1: just rather not run into. I mean, who wants to.

843
00:39:59,760 --> 00:40:01,960
Speaker 2: I'm I'm just saying, okay, baby, here's a better question.

844
00:40:02,280 --> 00:40:04,879
Speaker 2: Is there any X if you ran into them right now?

845
00:40:05,040 --> 00:40:09,319
Speaker 2: You wouldn't say hello? No, I don't think so, which

846
00:40:09,360 --> 00:40:10,040
Speaker 2: is a great place to be.

847
00:40:10,200 --> 00:40:13,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, would you. I mean, like if I.

848
00:40:12,960 --> 00:40:14,120
Speaker 2: Don't feel wirried about anybody.

849
00:40:14,160 --> 00:40:17,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean it's like again, I don't look forward

850
00:40:17,160 --> 00:40:19,520
Speaker 1: to running into them at the pizza parlor, but like

851
00:40:19,960 --> 00:40:22,920
Speaker 1: I wouldn't if I saw them, I'd be like very cordial,

852
00:40:22,920 --> 00:40:23,839
Speaker 1: and I hope they would too.

853
00:40:24,320 --> 00:40:26,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm just a big like it's water under the bridge.

854
00:40:27,080 --> 00:40:28,120
Speaker 2: We all make mistakes.

855
00:40:28,280 --> 00:40:30,840
Speaker 1: Move on. Life's too. Life is too short and equally

856
00:40:30,880 --> 00:40:34,360
Speaker 1: too long to carry that pain that hurt like grudge.

857
00:40:34,360 --> 00:40:37,080
Speaker 1: And I know, look, I know there are those of

858
00:40:37,080 --> 00:40:38,960
Speaker 1: you out there that have been through much worse and

859
00:40:39,000 --> 00:40:41,520
Speaker 1: you're like, dude, you don't get it. I understand. I

860
00:40:41,560 --> 00:40:45,640
Speaker 1: empathize with you, but at some point, for your health,

861
00:40:46,239 --> 00:40:47,200
Speaker 1: you got to move forward.

862
00:40:47,360 --> 00:40:51,480
Speaker 2: Well, I felt differently. Look years ago again, maybe more

863
00:40:51,480 --> 00:40:53,880
Speaker 2: fresh off breakups or years ago I had more toxic

864
00:40:53,960 --> 00:40:59,200
Speaker 2: relationships that made me angrier at the exes. But gosh,

865
00:40:59,239 --> 00:41:02,160
Speaker 2: if it isn't true that like time heals all wounds,

866
00:41:02,280 --> 00:41:04,400
Speaker 2: it really I go back to that sometimes I'm like,

867
00:41:05,160 --> 00:41:08,279
Speaker 2: anything that you go through it will be better, and

868
00:41:09,040 --> 00:41:11,160
Speaker 2: a certain amount of time it just will. And so

869
00:41:11,200 --> 00:41:15,160
Speaker 2: you have to kind of you know what, I gotta

870
00:41:15,200 --> 00:41:17,200
Speaker 2: shout out our friends. We'll do it, Stacy, see.

871
00:41:17,080 --> 00:41:18,879
Speaker 1: That's where you're going, because you almost said the same thing.

872
00:41:19,960 --> 00:41:21,960
Speaker 1: We'll leave you with this bit.

873
00:41:21,760 --> 00:41:27,360
Speaker 2: Of hilariously simple wisdom. Verbal stage, verbal stage. Our friend

874
00:41:27,400 --> 00:41:31,040
Speaker 2: Stacy is a pilate's instructor, and she recently had someone

875
00:41:31,080 --> 00:41:33,160
Speaker 2: reach out to her and say, Hey, I just wanted

876
00:41:33,200 --> 00:41:36,360
Speaker 2: to tell you. It really stuck with me when years

877
00:41:36,360 --> 00:41:41,160
Speaker 2: ago you told me, look, next month things will be better,

878
00:41:41,880 --> 00:41:45,160
Speaker 2: and the month after that they'll be better, and the

879
00:41:45,200 --> 00:41:46,600
Speaker 2: month after that too.

880
00:41:46,800 --> 00:41:52,239
Speaker 1: Dot dot dot. So I think, as our friend was

881
00:41:52,280 --> 00:41:56,040
Speaker 1: trying to say, this too shall pass as this show has.

882
00:41:56,120 --> 00:41:57,759
Speaker 1: Thank you guys so much for being with us today.

883
00:41:57,920 --> 00:41:59,879
Speaker 1: I love sitting down with you. It's been too long

884
00:42:00,239 --> 00:42:03,920
Speaker 1: since we have sat down and had a chat. Appreciate

885
00:42:03,960 --> 00:42:07,279
Speaker 1: you listening always, and we will talk to you next

886
00:42:07,320 --> 00:42:09,360
Speaker 1: time because we have a lot more to talk about.

887
00:42:09,600 --> 00:42:12,200
Speaker 1: Thanks for listening. Follow us on Instagram at the most

888
00:42:12,239 --> 00:42:14,719
Speaker 1: dramatic pod ever and make sure to write us a

889
00:42:14,800 --> 00:42:17,440
Speaker 1: review and leave us five stars. I'll talk to you

890
00:42:17,480 --> 00:42:17,919
Speaker 1: next time.