Speaker 1: I suck at Dean ungler Can I heart radio podcast.
Speaker 1: I'm Dean Unglerts. I grew up in Aspen, Colorado, went
Speaker 1: to college University Colorado, Colorado Springs. I currently live in
Speaker 1: Los Angeles, and I suck at dating. I mean, publicly speaking,
Speaker 1: Paradise was just the worst experience of my life. But
Speaker 1: I've been on some pretty horrible dates, I guess at
Speaker 1: my time. Okay, so there was one day I went on.
Speaker 1: We had a first date and it went well, um,
Speaker 1: and then we parted ways that time, so it was like,
Speaker 1: I guess, technically the second date, instead of going out,
Speaker 1: we decided to order Chinese food into her apartment and
Speaker 1: like watch movies and I guess maybe what I eat
Speaker 1: for lunch or what I ate for dinner. Uh. It
Speaker 1: made me very very ill, and so I was I
Speaker 1: wasn't planning on staying over, but I ended up sleeping
Speaker 1: at her house basically on the bathroom floor, puking in
Speaker 1: the toilet all night long. And that was like the
Speaker 1: second impression that I ever had meeting here. And then
Speaker 1: I mean we continue to talk for a little bit
Speaker 1: after that, but I think like once you get that memory,
Speaker 1: just ingrained in your mind, you're probably you know, might
Speaker 1: as well cut your losses. At that point, I kept
Speaker 1: like getting up and like going into the bathroom by
Speaker 1: myself and like stay here, like don't come look. And
Speaker 1: then like she'll like be and like standing at the
Speaker 1: bathroom door, like like feeling bad from like genuinely like
Speaker 1: caring for me. But I'm like I just don't want
Speaker 1: you to see me like right now. Um, I mean
Speaker 1: she was a sweet girl, but it's just it was
Speaker 1: a lot to process. Like first real date. I was
Speaker 1: probably twelve. Maybe we saw Lord of the Rings in movies. Um,
Speaker 1: she fell asleep like thirty minutes in and I had
Speaker 1: to pretend like I was interested in the movie. Afterwards
Speaker 1: I could really explain it to her. I think it
Speaker 1: was it was the Twin Towers, right, and that one
Speaker 1: was just so long, and there there seemed to be
Speaker 1: like they were like like false ending. So many times
Speaker 1: they were like cut to white and you're like, oh,
Speaker 1: that was a great movie, and then it would cut
Speaker 1: back in and you're like, oh, I wouldn't say that
Speaker 1: was a bad date. But that was the age where
Speaker 1: you're like questioning whether you should be holding hands, whether
Speaker 1: your arms should be around them, um, whether you kissed
Speaker 1: him at the end of the night. What areas do
Speaker 1: I do I need to improve in the most I
Speaker 1: would say my communication could sure you some improvement. I
Speaker 1: would say, maybe I'm a little too critical at times,
Speaker 1: and I give me an intern I take it mile
Speaker 1: on certain things. Maybe like I get into my own
Speaker 1: head or I like self sabotage that type of stuff,
Speaker 1: you know, read too much into things exactly. So yeah,
Speaker 1: so maybe that's that's something I could work on. I
Speaker 1: don't know. This is why we need the dating professionals
Speaker 1: to be on the show to help me. I mean,
Speaker 1: if if there were any problems, I'll be married. Right now,
Speaker 1: let's talk about Bachelor in Paradise. I mean, we can
Speaker 1: do a full just eight easy of it real quick. Well,
Speaker 1: my main excitement going into Paradis was hanging out my
Speaker 1: my guy friends from the season, because they were the
Speaker 1: only ones that was in contact with going into it.
Speaker 1: And then fast forward to the first day we were there,
Speaker 1: Christina and comes down and you know, I wasn't really
Speaker 1: interested in anyone else but Christine and I seem to
Speaker 1: hit it off. And I told myself going into it,
Speaker 1: if I found someone that I liked, I would stick
Speaker 1: with that person and you know, just ensure that it
Speaker 1: was it was her and I the entire time. And
Speaker 1: obviously with the shutdown and everything, it kind of complicated things.
Speaker 1: But uh, coming back from that, it's like, I don't know,
Speaker 1: I think there's like a new perspective that was granted
Speaker 1: having kind of lived in the real world for about
Speaker 1: ten days afterwards, and then I wasn't really sure about
Speaker 1: my feelings anymore. And it kind of comes back to
Speaker 1: that self sabotage where maybe something is going well and
Speaker 1: you don't necessarily I don't know, why do people self sabotage.
Speaker 1: I guess let's figure that out first. Um. I think
Speaker 1: people's self sabotage maybe because they get scared of the
Speaker 1: potential of what it could be. Maybe, Um it's like
Speaker 1: it's unfamiliar and maybe especially in that situation, like to
Speaker 1: be so connected to someone you like risk a lot
Speaker 1: more because when you're not in complete control of something,
Speaker 1: obviously you're you're at risk to their actions affecting you
Speaker 1: a lot more. And maybe, like you know, when you
Speaker 1: fall in love with someone or when you get married
Speaker 1: to someone, like their actions and there uh, their words
Speaker 1: influence you a lot more than they would otherwise. I
Speaker 1: don't think I'm afraid of commitment. I think I'm I'm
Speaker 1: in the world in the realm of commitment. I think
Speaker 1: I'm a realist. I don't want to have to sacrifice
Speaker 1: certain parts of my happiness for for someone else. I
Speaker 1: think that I think the right when the right person
Speaker 1: comes along, there will be there. They won't have to
Speaker 1: be any sacrifice. You know, like that you just compliment
Speaker 1: each other to the point where, h you're you don't
Speaker 1: necessarily have to argue, you don't have to fight about anything.
Speaker 1: You don't have to Um, I don't know, step on
Speaker 1: each other's toes, because that's that's my ideal, I guess
Speaker 1: soul mate. Right. In regard to Christina, there there were
Speaker 1: certain litt petty arguments that we would have, and especially
Speaker 1: when you know your your ten days into a relationship
Speaker 1: and you're you're having these weird little arguments about things,
Speaker 1: that's kind of an immediate red flag. UM. I think
Speaker 1: that those arguments for US two were stemming from she
Speaker 1: cared a lot, and she was very invested, very quickly,
Speaker 1: and I maybe took a step back and she didn't
Speaker 1: necessarily like that very much. But I would never dive
Speaker 1: into like a fully like marriage, potential committed relationship with
Speaker 1: any hesitations. You know, I just think it's something that
Speaker 1: should happen very organically. I thought by being honest to
Speaker 1: both of them the entire step of the way, that
Speaker 1: was enough for them. But um, even after like talking
Speaker 1: to my ex girlfriend and my my like my girlfriend
Speaker 1: before even going on the Bachelorette, and like we kind
Speaker 1: of like had to post mortem and talked about maybe
Speaker 1: like why I didn't work between us and how it
Speaker 1: all started between us, and how she sees similar characteristics
Speaker 1: and what I did on Paradise to like the beginning
Speaker 1: of our relationship. And it's like, I mean, it's it's
Speaker 1: just eye opening to like watch it played back because
Speaker 1: in our thinking, everyone's own minds there they can do
Speaker 1: no wrong. But then when you watch it from like
Speaker 1: a third party perspective, i e. Of video camera on
Speaker 1: the television, you kind of see, you know what you're
Speaker 1: doing wrong instead of just living at through your own eyes. Um,
Speaker 1: And so like maybe maybe in the moment, it wasn't
Speaker 1: the worst thing. Although I was very emotional a lot
Speaker 1: during the filming of Paradise, but watching it played back
Speaker 1: and like seeing people react when you're not around, because
Speaker 1: you can't see that when you're there. Obviously, it's it's
Speaker 1: pretty difficult. I guess that would probably be the hardest part.
Speaker 1: I think I would go back to Paradise. I think
Speaker 1: that with this new found perspective, I can handle things.
Speaker 1: I mean, obviously it's it's a it's a work work
Speaker 1: in progress, but I think that it can only get
Speaker 1: better from here. And you know, as as crappy of
Speaker 1: an experience as it was, it definitely lent a lot
Speaker 1: of insight and growing opportunity for me. So it would
Speaker 1: be interesting to see it, I guess displayed again for
Speaker 1: a world to see. I don't know, I have a
Speaker 1: little bit more insight into I guess the way that
Speaker 1: people are affected by, you know, what you say and
Speaker 1: what you do um instead of just the real world application.
Speaker 1: So I would I mean, I'd have to consider it,
Speaker 1: but i'd probably go back