WEBVTT - Teaser: Dean Explains Why He Sucks at Dating

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<v Speaker 1>I suck at Dean ungler Can I heart radio podcast.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm Dean Unglerts. I grew up in Aspen, Colorado, went

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<v Speaker 1>to college University Colorado, Colorado Springs. I currently live in

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<v Speaker 1>Los Angeles, and I suck at dating. I mean, publicly speaking,

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<v Speaker 1>Paradise was just the worst experience of my life. But

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<v Speaker 1>I've been on some pretty horrible dates, I guess at

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<v Speaker 1>my time. Okay, so there was one day I went on.

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<v Speaker 1>We had a first date and it went well, um,

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<v Speaker 1>and then we parted ways that time, so it was like,

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<v Speaker 1>I guess, technically the second date, instead of going out,

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<v Speaker 1>we decided to order Chinese food into her apartment and

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<v Speaker 1>like watch movies and I guess maybe what I eat

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<v Speaker 1>for lunch or what I ate for dinner. Uh. It

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<v Speaker 1>made me very very ill, and so I was I

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<v Speaker 1>wasn't planning on staying over, but I ended up sleeping

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<v Speaker 1>at her house basically on the bathroom floor, puking in

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<v Speaker 1>the toilet all night long. And that was like the

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<v Speaker 1>second impression that I ever had meeting here. And then

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<v Speaker 1>I mean we continue to talk for a little bit

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<v Speaker 1>after that, but I think like once you get that memory,

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<v Speaker 1>just ingrained in your mind, you're probably you know, might

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<v Speaker 1>as well cut your losses. At that point, I kept

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<v Speaker 1>like getting up and like going into the bathroom by

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<v Speaker 1>myself and like stay here, like don't come look. And

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<v Speaker 1>then like she'll like be and like standing at the

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<v Speaker 1>bathroom door, like like feeling bad from like genuinely like

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<v Speaker 1>caring for me. But I'm like I just don't want

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<v Speaker 1>you to see me like right now. Um, I mean

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<v Speaker 1>she was a sweet girl, but it's just it was

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<v Speaker 1>a lot to process. Like first real date. I was

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<v Speaker 1>probably twelve. Maybe we saw Lord of the Rings in movies. Um,

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<v Speaker 1>she fell asleep like thirty minutes in and I had

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<v Speaker 1>to pretend like I was interested in the movie. Afterwards

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<v Speaker 1>I could really explain it to her. I think it

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<v Speaker 1>was it was the Twin Towers, right, and that one

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<v Speaker 1>was just so long, and there there seemed to be

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<v Speaker 1>like they were like like false ending. So many times

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<v Speaker 1>they were like cut to white and you're like, oh,

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<v Speaker 1>that was a great movie, and then it would cut

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<v Speaker 1>back in and you're like, oh, I wouldn't say that

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<v Speaker 1>was a bad date. But that was the age where

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<v Speaker 1>you're like questioning whether you should be holding hands, whether

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<v Speaker 1>your arms should be around them, um, whether you kissed

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<v Speaker 1>him at the end of the night. What areas do

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<v Speaker 1>I do I need to improve in the most I

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<v Speaker 1>would say my communication could sure you some improvement. I

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<v Speaker 1>would say, maybe I'm a little too critical at times,

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<v Speaker 1>and I give me an intern I take it mile

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<v Speaker 1>on certain things. Maybe like I get into my own

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<v Speaker 1>head or I like self sabotage that type of stuff,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, read too much into things exactly. So yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>so maybe that's that's something I could work on. I

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<v Speaker 1>don't know. This is why we need the dating professionals

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<v Speaker 1>to be on the show to help me. I mean,

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<v Speaker 1>if if there were any problems, I'll be married. Right now,

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<v Speaker 1>let's talk about Bachelor in Paradise. I mean, we can

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<v Speaker 1>do a full just eight easy of it real quick. Well,

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<v Speaker 1>my main excitement going into Paradis was hanging out my

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<v Speaker 1>my guy friends from the season, because they were the

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<v Speaker 1>only ones that was in contact with going into it.

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<v Speaker 1>And then fast forward to the first day we were there,

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<v Speaker 1>Christina and comes down and you know, I wasn't really

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<v Speaker 1>interested in anyone else but Christine and I seem to

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<v Speaker 1>hit it off. And I told myself going into it,

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<v Speaker 1>if I found someone that I liked, I would stick

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<v Speaker 1>with that person and you know, just ensure that it

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<v Speaker 1>was it was her and I the entire time. And

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<v Speaker 1>obviously with the shutdown and everything, it kind of complicated things.

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<v Speaker 1>But uh, coming back from that, it's like, I don't know,

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<v Speaker 1>I think there's like a new perspective that was granted

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<v Speaker 1>having kind of lived in the real world for about

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<v Speaker 1>ten days afterwards, and then I wasn't really sure about

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<v Speaker 1>my feelings anymore. And it kind of comes back to

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<v Speaker 1>that self sabotage where maybe something is going well and

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<v Speaker 1>you don't necessarily I don't know, why do people self sabotage.

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<v Speaker 1>I guess let's figure that out first. Um. I think

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<v Speaker 1>people's self sabotage maybe because they get scared of the

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<v Speaker 1>potential of what it could be. Maybe, Um it's like

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<v Speaker 1>it's unfamiliar and maybe especially in that situation, like to

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<v Speaker 1>be so connected to someone you like risk a lot

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<v Speaker 1>more because when you're not in complete control of something,

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<v Speaker 1>obviously you're you're at risk to their actions affecting you

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<v Speaker 1>a lot more. And maybe, like you know, when you

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<v Speaker 1>fall in love with someone or when you get married

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<v Speaker 1>to someone, like their actions and there uh, their words

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<v Speaker 1>influence you a lot more than they would otherwise. I

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<v Speaker 1>don't think I'm afraid of commitment. I think I'm I'm

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<v Speaker 1>in the world in the realm of commitment. I think

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<v Speaker 1>I'm a realist. I don't want to have to sacrifice

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<v Speaker 1>certain parts of my happiness for for someone else. I

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<v Speaker 1>think that I think the right when the right person

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<v Speaker 1>comes along, there will be there. They won't have to

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<v Speaker 1>be any sacrifice. You know, like that you just compliment

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<v Speaker 1>each other to the point where, h you're you don't

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<v Speaker 1>necessarily have to argue, you don't have to fight about anything.

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<v Speaker 1>You don't have to Um, I don't know, step on

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<v Speaker 1>each other's toes, because that's that's my ideal, I guess

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<v Speaker 1>soul mate. Right. In regard to Christina, there there were

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<v Speaker 1>certain litt petty arguments that we would have, and especially

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<v Speaker 1>when you know your your ten days into a relationship

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<v Speaker 1>and you're you're having these weird little arguments about things,

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<v Speaker 1>that's kind of an immediate red flag. UM. I think

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<v Speaker 1>that those arguments for US two were stemming from she

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<v Speaker 1>cared a lot, and she was very invested, very quickly,

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<v Speaker 1>and I maybe took a step back and she didn't

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<v Speaker 1>necessarily like that very much. But I would never dive

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<v Speaker 1>into like a fully like marriage, potential committed relationship with

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<v Speaker 1>any hesitations. You know, I just think it's something that

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<v Speaker 1>should happen very organically. I thought by being honest to

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<v Speaker 1>both of them the entire step of the way, that

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<v Speaker 1>was enough for them. But um, even after like talking

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<v Speaker 1>to my ex girlfriend and my my like my girlfriend

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<v Speaker 1>before even going on the Bachelorette, and like we kind

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<v Speaker 1>of like had to post mortem and talked about maybe

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<v Speaker 1>like why I didn't work between us and how it

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<v Speaker 1>all started between us, and how she sees similar characteristics

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<v Speaker 1>and what I did on Paradise to like the beginning

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<v Speaker 1>of our relationship. And it's like, I mean, it's it's

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<v Speaker 1>just eye opening to like watch it played back because

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<v Speaker 1>in our thinking, everyone's own minds there they can do

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<v Speaker 1>no wrong. But then when you watch it from like

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<v Speaker 1>a third party perspective, i e. Of video camera on

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<v Speaker 1>the television, you kind of see, you know what you're

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<v Speaker 1>doing wrong instead of just living at through your own eyes. Um,

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<v Speaker 1>And so like maybe maybe in the moment, it wasn't

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<v Speaker 1>the worst thing. Although I was very emotional a lot

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<v Speaker 1>during the filming of Paradise, but watching it played back

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<v Speaker 1>and like seeing people react when you're not around, because

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<v Speaker 1>you can't see that when you're there. Obviously, it's it's

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<v Speaker 1>pretty difficult. I guess that would probably be the hardest part.

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<v Speaker 1>I think I would go back to Paradise. I think

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<v Speaker 1>that with this new found perspective, I can handle things.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, obviously it's it's a it's a work work

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<v Speaker 1>in progress, but I think that it can only get

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<v Speaker 1>better from here. And you know, as as crappy of

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<v Speaker 1>an experience as it was, it definitely lent a lot

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<v Speaker 1>of insight and growing opportunity for me. So it would

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<v Speaker 1>be interesting to see it, I guess displayed again for

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<v Speaker 1>a world to see. I don't know, I have a

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<v Speaker 1>little bit more insight into I guess the way that

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<v Speaker 1>people are affected by, you know, what you say and

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<v Speaker 1>what you do um instead of just the real world application.

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<v Speaker 1>So I would I mean, I'd have to consider it,

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<v Speaker 1>but i'd probably go back