Speaker 1: You guys, we are officially four motherfucking days away from
Speaker 1: our live show in Atlanta. We are so excited to
Speaker 1: meet you all. Make sure you buy those tickets. VIP
Speaker 1: has already sold out. Regular admission is about to sell out,
Speaker 1: so you want to make sure and get those tickets
Speaker 1: on our website, Good Momsbad Choices dot com or on
Speaker 1: our Instagram Good Mom's Underscore Bad Choices. We cannot wait
Speaker 1: to meet you October thirteenth, Sunday. Doors open at six
Speaker 1: thirty pm. Show starts at seven point thirty. But you know,
Speaker 1: black people be late and shit, it's at BQE Lounge.
Speaker 1: Jamila's already in Atlanta, so hit that bitch up and
Speaker 1: see what she's doing. So if you're in the Atlanta
Speaker 1: area around at Lan, Atlanta and Alabama, whatever wherever the
Speaker 1: fuck you are, come through anyway. I hope you guys
Speaker 1: enjoyed this episode featuring me and Jamina.
Speaker 2: Welcome to Atlanta's Ammazon Boats.
Speaker 3: Back to the Macan the clothes that Unlesson's back in.
Speaker 2: The knock on this dome. It happened to know the
Speaker 2: one with the flow who did it was me. If
Speaker 2: the post they did in the road that Ludas didn't.
Speaker 2: That's cut supreme skating down. No nets touched and lean
Speaker 2: it just clean. As a matter of fact, got the team.
Speaker 2: No blood on the Snake's gonna keep it so my
Speaker 2: kicks is clean. Get the cream cops, see me flick
Speaker 2: my beans. I'm allergic.
Speaker 3: That Jack was Christ and it hits the means point
Speaker 3: point pig pigs.
Speaker 2: You away with the pork only still more needs a
Speaker 2: steak knife in a port? Did you forget your manner?
Speaker 2: Fruits with banners? Fluda Christ? Johnny Rockets when I can
Speaker 2: the wooly mana stabit to welcome.
Speaker 4: Back to good Moms, bad choices. I'm Erica and I'm Mela,
Speaker 4: and it bitch is fucking tired. I know, I'm fucking exhausted.
Speaker 1: I have never worked so hard in my life on anything.
Speaker 5: I feel like every time we plan a show, like
Speaker 5: whenever we start committing to the date is non suck craziness.
Speaker 5: And that's why it took so long between March and now.
Speaker 4: Like God damn, and we want to and we want
Speaker 4: to keep doing this. Are we sure? I mean?
Speaker 5: I think once we get this kink out the way,
Speaker 5: it will be smooth sailing.
Speaker 4: Oh, my god.
Speaker 1: If anyone out there is thinking about starting the podcast,
Speaker 1: like honestly, just like really think about it. It's fucking hard.
Speaker 4: It is, it really is.
Speaker 5: It's exhausting and stressful, especially when you love it, but
Speaker 5: it's also rewarding.
Speaker 4: It's no, it's been amazing, but I'm tired. I just
Speaker 4: obsessed about it. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed.
Speaker 5: I really literally last night I could not sleep doing
Speaker 5: the visualizations I said to visualize, and I kept waking
Speaker 5: up like it was just.
Speaker 4: It's crazy.
Speaker 5: But then it also part of me makes me know
Speaker 5: that I'm doing something right, because if I can't sleep
Speaker 5: over this shit, this must be really.
Speaker 4: Really good, right. I mean, anyway, we have a show
Speaker 4: coming up.
Speaker 1: If you didn't, if you've been caught on, if you
Speaker 1: don't already know, because we've been promoting it for four
Speaker 1: hundred years, well not.
Speaker 4: Really four hundred years, because actually we started planning this
Speaker 4: not that long ago, low key, it was like it
Speaker 4: was like five weeks ago.
Speaker 1: That's not a long time to put a whole show
Speaker 1: and a whole other city together in a city that
Speaker 1: we don't really know people in like you do, but
Speaker 1: you don't.
Speaker 4: But I definitely do not.
Speaker 1: And pulling favors and finding venues and asking brands for
Speaker 1: shit and finding money and buy a fucking stage visor
Speaker 1: still haven't done that, and creating a.
Speaker 5: Show and creating a show and we still haven't done that.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's a lot flights and.
Speaker 5: Graphics and invites and invites and fucking newsletters and updates
Speaker 5: and finding fucking special guests and getting people to post
Speaker 5: to support you, but they won't because they want fifty
Speaker 5: fucking dollars.
Speaker 4: Who Sorry but.
Speaker 1: For those of us that we but you know what,
Speaker 1: I've realized in this process that we have some really
Speaker 1: balm ass friends.
Speaker 4: We really do. We really like.
Speaker 1: We have friends that are flying to Atlanta to support us.
Speaker 1: They're flying across the country to come to our show.
Speaker 4: Bitch, I know, I know, and people who don't know
Speaker 4: are coming. I know. But even more so, people are
Speaker 4: traveling from other states, driving flying. This shit is crazy.
Speaker 4: Calm down and give me excited. I'm funny, I like,
Speaker 4: I don't even know how this happened.
Speaker 5: You know, I'm just mostly scared because I'm I mean,
Speaker 5: I'm not scared nervous because in LA I.
Speaker 4: Was nervous and it was like a lot of people
Speaker 4: we knew.
Speaker 5: But from here, Like, it's gonna be a lot of
Speaker 5: people I know, but like I haven't seen in ten
Speaker 5: fucking years. I've think half people are probably like, what
Speaker 5: the fuck is this bitch doing? I don't know, let's
Speaker 5: go see. So I know I'm gonna be super nervous.
Speaker 5: We've got other people.
Speaker 1: Involved now, I know we've like dragged people into the
Speaker 1: show trying to figure out what the fuck they're doing
Speaker 1: at the show.
Speaker 5: It's just man, but we do it as goes to
Speaker 5: show like who our friends are, who supports us.
Speaker 4: It's been amazing though it is. It's going to be amazing.
Speaker 4: It's going to be amazing.
Speaker 1: We have great we have I'm excited to meet all
Speaker 1: the people that are going to come out. I'm excited to,
Speaker 1: you know, have our guests on.
Speaker 4: We have to.
Speaker 1: We've gotten like some really awesome guests and I'm excited
Speaker 1: to see how that all plays out live.
Speaker 5: I think it's gonna be cool because we all have
Speaker 5: really different personalities, Like Danielle is totally different than us,
Speaker 5: and Shanisia is different than us, and we don't even
Speaker 5: really know more so it's just like but I feel
Speaker 5: like she's like us.
Speaker 4: But we don't know because it's going to be a surprise.
Speaker 4: It's a surprised for us to be right, like maybe
Speaker 4: we should hang out with her before.
Speaker 5: But and I have a really good feeling, like I
Speaker 5: haven't lived in Atlanta in fucking eight years, but I
Speaker 5: have a really strong gut feeling that everybody ever knew
Speaker 5: during the seven years I lived there is going to
Speaker 5: come out and support And I think that's going to
Speaker 5: be pretty bomb too, Like you don't have to see
Speaker 5: a bit in it years and you're gonna come.
Speaker 4: Well, you're kind of unforgettable and lovable.
Speaker 5: Thank you.
Speaker 4: I love that. I love you too. Based on my Facebook,
Speaker 4: it's talking. It's true. Somebody somebody messaged me like I'll
Speaker 4: never forget that night.
Speaker 5: I was like, oh shit, I was like, did I
Speaker 5: sleep with it? Like, oh no, it's not good. But
Speaker 5: I think it's gonna be awesome. I mean, at the
Speaker 5: end of the day, we're all gonna be drunk. It's
Speaker 5: at a bar our. DJ is gonna be really bombed. Actually,
Speaker 5: DJ Tabone I used to work with him when I
Speaker 5: worked at the Low's. He DJ'd in the lobby. But
Speaker 5: randomly Erica met him, well, she lived there.
Speaker 4: I met him at a bar, Like was I at
Speaker 4: a bar.
Speaker 1: I was at a bar, I was eating somewhere, and
Speaker 1: I just like landed that day in Atlanta because I
Speaker 1: was doing a movie and I didn't know anyone there
Speaker 1: except like my cousin who claimed she lived in Atlanta,
Speaker 1: but she lived in Peachtree City, which is like an
Speaker 1: hour and half a way. It's like not convenient at all.
Speaker 1: But I was in little five Points.
Speaker 4: And we went.
Speaker 1: I went to like a bar and like this guy
Speaker 1: with like this hair. I just remember his hair was
Speaker 1: like kind of tall. There was something going on with
Speaker 1: his hair.
Speaker 4: It's tall. It was tall. It was something, something was happening.
Speaker 1: And he was like we just exchanged numbers, and like
Speaker 1: he would send me music, like he would send me
Speaker 1: stuff from his SoundCloud.
Speaker 5: So wait, so today, as I'm making the newsletter, I
Speaker 5: just put it in his SoundCloud.
Speaker 4: But I was like, oh shit, okay, so he's still
Speaker 4: popped popping Okay.
Speaker 5: You know, Also that story like confirmed for me. I'm like,
Speaker 5: this is so fucking divine. Like all the years I
Speaker 5: lived in Atlanta. When I left Atlanta, I had no
Speaker 5: clue that I'd be coming back to do a show
Speaker 5: at my friend's bar, Like I've known my friend for
Speaker 5: a long time. And then when I'm like, oh, I'm
Speaker 5: gonna get my friend DJ to Bone to do it,
Speaker 5: You're like that sounds so familiar, And I was like, damn,
Speaker 5: this is so divine. Everything aligns just perfectly, Like even
Speaker 5: if it's ten years in advance, you have no idea
Speaker 5: what like spirit has in store for you in the future,
Speaker 5: you know, like we have babies and like shit has changed,
Speaker 5: but still so perfect.
Speaker 4: So it's it's true. It's so true.
Speaker 5: Even one of our listeners recommended a videographer that used
Speaker 5: to be his student in second grade and he's a
Speaker 5: videoographer for the show.
Speaker 4: And I'm like, this is cool. And you know what,
Speaker 4: that's another thing.
Speaker 5: We have a like bomb ass network, not even friends
Speaker 5: of like people we know, but even our internet friends
Speaker 5: come through for us, Like we have somebody contributing to
Speaker 5: our gift bag.
Speaker 4: Shout out to you girl, Like it's just.
Speaker 5: It's mad love And I'm I'm excited about that.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So I'm I'm like so so so so excited, and
Speaker 1: I can't wait to do it. I can't also can't
Speaker 1: wait for it to be over.
Speaker 4: We will be high for like five days.
Speaker 1: I know, well after we do the show, a bitch
Speaker 1: is getting lat out.
Speaker 5: I already I already thought it in my head. I'm like,
Speaker 5: get black out drunk, Like, don't get too black I remember.
Speaker 4: I already told someone. I was like, I'm getting blacked
Speaker 4: out half my back.
Speaker 5: We're just gonna we've we've already somehow pre planned that
Speaker 5: the after party is the strip.
Speaker 4: Club for absolutely. We don't know what shop club. I
Speaker 4: don't know.
Speaker 1: We gotta find someone with the money we got. That's
Speaker 1: like the only thing that needs to happen. Who has
Speaker 1: the money, whoever is listening here, who's ever listening right now,
Speaker 1: who lives in Atlanta, who's coming to our show?
Speaker 4: We need you to secure the Daddy's the daddy with
Speaker 4: the bag to take all of us all the good.
Speaker 1: I know one of you motherfuckers know the nigga with
Speaker 1: the bag, because whenever I went to Atlanta, I'll never forget.
Speaker 1: Like when I was out there, my girlfriend Amber, she
Speaker 1: was living out there for a while, and I met
Speaker 1: up with her and she's like, yeah, we're gonna go out.
Speaker 4: But first, you know, we got to meet up with
Speaker 4: my friend, Oh my god, this is my life in Atlanta.
Speaker 1: Used to go to meet up with my friend where
Speaker 1: you have to go to dinner first, Yeah, and like
Speaker 1: she's like he's not cute, but like we're gonna go
Speaker 1: to the club. We're gonna go to the strip club
Speaker 1: and it's gonna be bombed.
Speaker 4: Don't worry.
Speaker 1: You don't have to like, you don't don't have to
Speaker 1: flirt with hi, because there's be o the niggas there
Speaker 1: And we.
Speaker 4: Get there and they I just remember we walked in
Speaker 4: the bar.
Speaker 1: We walked into this club and they each handed us
Speaker 1: like yeah stack And I was like this life.
Speaker 5: I sure hope Atlanta hasn't changed, because this is how
Speaker 5: I remember it.
Speaker 4: Like I was like walking down the street and like I.
Speaker 6: Don't want to eat the cafeteria today niggas just pull
Speaker 6: up like come eat.
Speaker 5: We're like sure will My friends like we're never get
Speaker 5: in the car with no stranger. He tossed us the
Speaker 5: keys to his car and got in the car with
Speaker 5: somebody who was behind him and let us follow him
Speaker 5: in his car.
Speaker 4: What I'm like, Yes, lord, that's amazing. Yeah, so that
Speaker 4: can be hell of dates lined up in Atlanta. Period.
Speaker 4: Got hell dates I do? I really did I have one?
Speaker 4: I have a date? You're taking me on that date?
Speaker 4: He doesn't. I don't care what.
Speaker 1: He's already made the rest and the date is happening
Speaker 1: on the on the day before the show.
Speaker 4: SDK. There's we I come.
Speaker 5: There's stuff we haven't done, like what like a sign
Speaker 5: a sign like for behind us?
Speaker 1: Oh my god, Well that's because we're waiting on some ship.
Speaker 1: But we do need to yeah.
Speaker 4: Like tomorrow.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we just got to do it regardless of that
Speaker 1: we need it right, yeah, or.
Speaker 4: We could just take her handy dandy. We should bring
Speaker 4: that to we would we read ships and stuff.
Speaker 5: We do.
Speaker 4: We need to ship some we.
Speaker 1: Can some from yeah yeah, okay, sorry, we're making plans
Speaker 1: on the podcast.
Speaker 4: Okay, okay, podcasting everything. Every conversation Erica.
Speaker 5: And I have somehow always goes back to work. We
Speaker 5: don't have personal conversations after this show. It doesn't exist.
Speaker 4: Are you good? And we probably do need to like go.
Speaker 1: On like a non talking of work trip.
Speaker 4: That's impossible, Erica, It's literally impossible.
Speaker 5: I even't feel even sometimes feel bad when people are
Speaker 5: around us because they're probably like.
Speaker 4: Like, so we're just gonna talk about your podcast. Okay, yeah, yep, yeah, yep, yep.
Speaker 4: You don't like, you don't care about it, You're not
Speaker 4: my friend.
Speaker 1: But you know what, I don't care because you know,
Speaker 1: when we started this podcast, there was a lot of
Speaker 1: people that didn't understand what we were doing. There are people
Speaker 1: that didn't didn't like, didn't understand the vision, didn't support
Speaker 1: the vision. And I didn't even know really what the
Speaker 1: vision was. I just knew that it made me feel
Speaker 1: good and that I needed it. And you know now
Speaker 1: that like now that we've reached ten thousands, we finally
Speaker 1: reached ten k on Instagram, ten point five actually ten
Speaker 1: point five, and I'm just like, you know what, you can't.
Speaker 4: Tell a bit shit. You can't tell me shill.
Speaker 1: I have real, actual people that fuck with what the
Speaker 1: fuck my vision was hereo, that what the fuck our
Speaker 1: vision is, and that like would genuinely enjoy the community
Speaker 1: that we've built.
Speaker 5: And no shade, not a single paid like, not a
Speaker 5: single paid follow, not a ghost sloop.
Speaker 4: I don't know what the fuck that is. None of
Speaker 4: that shit.
Speaker 5: They will not be ten k and five likes, Okay,
Speaker 5: because this ship is built from the ground up.
Speaker 1: Yes, and it couldn't exist with that all these with
Speaker 1: all of you guys that listen and support, support and
Speaker 1: message us and share all your fucking business with us,
Speaker 1: and like send nudes and send like really emotional shit
Speaker 1: and funny ass shit and like fuck, it's like every
Speaker 1: day me and she look a look at our shit
Speaker 1: and we're like sharing, like oh my god, you see
Speaker 1: the shit. This is fucking amazing, or oh my god,
Speaker 1: this bitch is hilarious, or like that Nick is weird.
Speaker 5: Right, or like damn, his dick is big, right. I mean,
Speaker 5: it's literally like a family. I feel like I have
Speaker 5: so much more family. Like the other day, one of
Speaker 5: our listeners or followers whatever was messaging.
Speaker 4: Me, but like she just work with her baby daddy.
Speaker 5: She loves him so much, she has four kids, but
Speaker 5: he keeps cheating and she just wants to forgive and forgive.
Speaker 5: I'm like, boom, he ain't like either gonna be in
Speaker 5: an open relationship or you gotta eccel. But I'm like,
Speaker 5: so much deep deep shit you're telling me. And she's
Speaker 5: in Africa. I'm just like, this is amazing. I'm giving
Speaker 5: advice to my friend I've never met in Africa or
Speaker 5: I've never even been Yeah, it is.
Speaker 4: It is reassurance, and I don't I don't even know.
Speaker 5: It's still really if we know what we're doing, I
Speaker 5: mean we do, but we don't. And every time somebody
Speaker 5: asked me, I get so fucking irritated, like it's just growing.
Speaker 4: Okay, so what are you gonna? It's growing? What's your ankle?
Speaker 4: It's just growth? Fucking asking these kind of questions. Look, therapy.
Speaker 4: This is therapy, Okay for everyone, it is.
Speaker 5: I do feel like this is like my inside cancer weirdness,
Speaker 5: like people doubt it, doubted us.
Speaker 1: No, it's not your inside cancer weirdness. They did they have.
Speaker 1: They're like, oh it's cute. Oh no, it's bigger than cute.
Speaker 1: It's ten point five. Oh my goodness.
Speaker 4: Anyway, enough about about us, our podcast, on our podcast,
Speaker 4: what's going on? What's going on with you? Girl? What's that?
Speaker 4: I've just been kind of stressed out.
Speaker 5: I may not really but kind of, but just in
Speaker 5: a weird journey I've been going. I forgot to get
Speaker 5: the therapy to day because I forget to write shit
Speaker 5: down because I'm slow. But I've never said this on
Speaker 5: the podcast before. I don't know why I guess I
Speaker 5: was embarrassed, but I don't really give a fuck. But
Speaker 5: I've been staying with my mom for like six months.
Speaker 5: I've moved out of my apartment to like save money,
Speaker 5: which I haven't done, and that's super fucking stressful because
Speaker 5: she stresses me the fuck out.
Speaker 4: But I also, like, I feel.
Speaker 5: Like maybe there's work that needs to be done, so
Speaker 5: I'm trying to not like I'm trying to be gentle
Speaker 5: with the situation, be gentle with her, and also like
Speaker 5: there's nothing to be embarrassed about. I'm grateful to have
Speaker 5: a mom I can stay with. Other people may.
Speaker 4: Not have that option, you know, even if she gets
Speaker 4: on my nerves.
Speaker 5: But the fact that I, like, I have somewhere to
Speaker 5: go if in the case, like shit hits the fan,
Speaker 5: that's something to be grateful for.
Speaker 4: And I think for a long time, I was like,
Speaker 4: I'm thirty one, I'm staying with my mom.
Speaker 5: I'm going on dates, not saying shit to people because
Speaker 5: I'm like, I just don't want to. I mean, it's
Speaker 5: nobody's business, but for anybody else listening, I realized recently,
Speaker 5: like I can't be transparent with some stuff. I mean,
Speaker 5: I could be untransparent with everyon the fuck I want.
Speaker 5: But you know, a lot of people look at the
Speaker 5: Internet and think everybody's life is perfect and nobody has
Speaker 5: struggles and we're just happily podcasting and baby daddies are
Speaker 5: just paying fucking it's child support on time, and everything's
Speaker 5: fucking peachy keen.
Speaker 4: And that's just really not the case.
Speaker 5: You know, nobody knows what's going on in anyone's personal life.
Speaker 4: That's what's going on in mind. That's what's been stressing
Speaker 4: me the fuck out.
Speaker 5: But most recently, my dad got back into town, which
Speaker 5: makes this space even more cramped.
Speaker 4: And do your mom and dad sleep in the same room? Yeah,
Speaker 4: in the same bed. Mm do they like? I don't know?
Speaker 4: Whoa WHOA? Calm the fuck down, Look, I don't know.
Speaker 4: I don't know. If I thought you might not, why
Speaker 4: I know, why would you even ask me? I'm sorry?
Speaker 4: They do? They do the way your mom be acted.
Speaker 4: She's getting fucked for real though, Yo, She's fucking fucked
Speaker 4: and getting mad.
Speaker 5: Seriously, speaking of that, today, I posted some really for
Speaker 5: my nude post. This was a milder one. Erica took
Speaker 5: it when we were in New York and I posted
Speaker 5: it and like, I can't. I was about to post
Speaker 5: another nude on ours today and as soon as I
Speaker 5: was about to, like getting.
Speaker 6: My caption together, and my dad's like, what's up? Why
Speaker 6: the fuck you gotta post these pictures?
Speaker 5: I'm like, oh my, how many naked pictures in my
Speaker 5: whole life span of adulthood? Am I gonna have to
Speaker 5: fucking answer about? So today I got home together like
Speaker 5: tag teaming me about, like.
Speaker 4: You're somebody's mother. I'm like, I know that. What does
Speaker 4: that have to do with your car is dirty? I'm like,
Speaker 4: what does that have to do with the nude? The
Speaker 4: not nudes?
Speaker 5: I'm like, first of all, I can't post nudes on
Speaker 5: Facebook or Instagram. It's illegal, like flag you, I know,
Speaker 5: oh they flagged me before. I'm like you guys are
Speaker 5: acting like I'm doing fucking porn. It's like, how are
Speaker 5: you gonna get a job?
Speaker 4: I'm like, I'm not. Don't you get it, I'm not
Speaker 4: getting a job. I'm like, what the fuck?
Speaker 5: It's laughablet now, But I was getting fucking mad, like
Speaker 5: people are texting me.
Speaker 4: I'm like, fuck those people, they don't have lives. And also,
Speaker 4: two weeks ago, my grandmother. Did I say this?
Speaker 5: I tell people I don't remember, but he told me
Speaker 5: this is my this is my family drama, my family.
Speaker 5: I mean, my grandmother told my dad.
Speaker 6: This bitch told me she's taking me off the insurance,
Speaker 6: her life insurance because I keep posting pictures with my
Speaker 6: dud's out.
Speaker 4: I was perpleques. I'm like, I'm like, she's taking me
Speaker 4: off of her life insurance. You don't you don't deserve it.
Speaker 4: I don't deserve it.
Speaker 5: Like fuck, my whole life is our granddaughter, Like that's
Speaker 5: out the window.
Speaker 4: Did she do it? I don't know.
Speaker 5: I haven't called her because ever since I heard, she
Speaker 5: didn't tell me directly. She told him then.
Speaker 4: This this week, these motherfuckers want to come talking.
Speaker 5: Shit about And then I told my mom. He said,
Speaker 5: you know what I said. You know what, First of all,
Speaker 5: my dad's not even on Facebook, so I know my
Speaker 5: mom showed him.
Speaker 4: So I'm like, I'm just gonna block you.
Speaker 5: You're so disrespectful and then make you like try to guilt you.
Speaker 5: You don't care, you don't care about how your mother feels,
Speaker 5: you don't care about me, so you don't care about me?
Speaker 4: And like, how did this go from me posting a
Speaker 4: picture to me not caring. You went from the pictures
Speaker 4: to the car to you don't care about him, you
Speaker 4: don't care about them. I'm disrespectful, I'm a child.
Speaker 1: I'm like, but the picture wasn't even like it's really
Speaker 1: not actually like PG for.
Speaker 5: Me at Mela Underscore Mapo. It is the one where
Speaker 5: I'm holding my titties.
Speaker 4: And it's a bridge in the background.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's very It's like it's the same thing you
Speaker 5: could see in a bathing suit. Calm the fuck down,
Speaker 5: and it just really and I've actually had an epiphany
Speaker 5: this week about questioning myself and just like having people
Speaker 5: around you that plant seeds of doubt in any aspect
Speaker 5: of your personality, close people, family, Mama, I think that
Speaker 5: it could really be deteriorate, Like it could really deteriorate.
Speaker 4: That's not the interior.
Speaker 5: No deteriorate, deteriorture, deter the trajectory of your life. Because
Speaker 5: me being my authentic self, this is what I'm doing here,
Speaker 5: this is my platform being myself.
Speaker 4: Even if there's a titty in it, you know what
Speaker 4: I'm saying, But that is that Tity on Patreon, tities
Speaker 4: on Patreon. But I'm like, this is and then it
Speaker 4: really has me second guessing everything in my life, like
Speaker 4: am I? Am I a bad person?
Speaker 5: Like is Luna gonna grow up one day and be
Speaker 5: like that bitch and all her naked covered titties on
Speaker 5: the Instagram?
Speaker 4: And I'm like, am I gonna one day like ten
Speaker 4: years from now, I need to get a job.
Speaker 5: They're gonna like, oh, you know, I'm really sorry to
Speaker 5: say this, but uh, we're not gonna be able to
Speaker 5: let you take this job, this corporate drop because that
Speaker 5: Instagram photo.
Speaker 4: That one by the bridge. Yeah, And I'm like, am I,
Speaker 4: But I'm like, this is exactly.
Speaker 5: This is a test, because this is the epiphany I
Speaker 5: had this week about really being secure.
Speaker 4: In my decisions and who the fuck I am and
Speaker 4: what my purpose is. And I do have a purpose.
Speaker 5: And I'm like a sensual sexual ass being and I'm
Speaker 5: tired of being shamed for it.
Speaker 4: It's natural, it's my body, it's I'm not doing.
Speaker 5: Porn poses spread eagle, you know, front page, centerfold, and it's.
Speaker 4: Really not that big of a deal. But obviously they're old,
Speaker 4: they're fat old, but they're older. They don't get it.
Speaker 5: And some of my friends don't get it, and then
Speaker 5: the same fucking age as me. But it's not for
Speaker 5: anyone to get but me. I don't have to convince anyone.
Speaker 5: I don't have to curse you out anyone, and I don't.
Speaker 5: And I feel like I'm coming into myself because I'm realizing,
Speaker 5: like I'm not taking it personal.
Speaker 4: It's you. It makes you uncomfortable because you wouldn't do it.
Speaker 4: But this is not about you. It's about me, and
Speaker 4: that's it.
Speaker 5: And Grandma, if you're taking me off, if you take
Speaker 5: me off of that fucking life.
Speaker 4: So you told me that ship, I could not stop laughing.
Speaker 4: I was like, are my feelings are? It's kind of funny.
Speaker 7: It's funny, but also like but then they told me
Speaker 7: the amount, like for ten thousands, I'm like, not even
Speaker 7: a hundred, Like you're taking me off for ten stacks.
Speaker 4: Oh my god, that's better. Hope I don't you better?
Speaker 4: Hope I don't blow up.
Speaker 5: First of all, my grandmother is not fucking going anywhere
Speaker 5: anytime soon. She's staying around to curse everybody else and
Speaker 5: smoke more weed.
Speaker 4: So no, maybe should have said that whatever she smokes weed. Yeah,
Speaker 4: because Grandma's gonna listen and no, no, so I'd block everybody.
Speaker 6: Basically, everybody's blocked, and if you have a problem with it,
Speaker 6: you are asked, can get blocked too.
Speaker 4: I mean, I think it's like, I don't know. I mean,
Speaker 4: did you, oh you blocked? You blocked your mom?
Speaker 1: I recause you know what I recently was on our page.
Speaker 1: I went to go look at her page and I
Speaker 1: was like, oh, that's there were no pictures.
Speaker 4: On her page. Oh yeah, I forgot.
Speaker 1: I want to And then I wonder sometimes because she
Speaker 1: sees me post on my other page, and then I
Speaker 1: wonder if she ever clicks to try to look and
Speaker 1: that she's.
Speaker 4: Locked, and she never says anything. She forgot to say something.
Speaker 4: I don't know.
Speaker 1: My mom doesn't forget much. I don't know, like for
Speaker 1: me like that, like our bodies and like my body
Speaker 1: posting naked, you know I post, I post not really
Speaker 1: naked photos.
Speaker 4: You can't post naked for whatever.
Speaker 1: But I'm just saying, like the pictures that you post,
Speaker 1: I wouldn't post, but I don't give a fuck that
Speaker 1: you post them. I think that's who you are and
Speaker 1: that's what you should be.
Speaker 4: I see that.
Speaker 1: I see the way the way the way Luna's how
Speaker 1: free Luna is, and what an amazing daughter you're raising,
Speaker 1: And your nudity on the internets or semi nudity isn't
Speaker 1: going to make her a bless of an amazing little
Speaker 1: girl or woman, you know. If anything, it's going to
Speaker 1: empower her to see that her mom lived in her
Speaker 1: full truth, you know, and that doesn't have to be
Speaker 1: what Luna is either, right, and you.
Speaker 5: Know, and I allow her to be her, and I
Speaker 5: am allowed to be me and you're allowed to be you.
Speaker 4: And that was I think that's what triggered me. She says.
Speaker 5: They said something about my parenting, and I was like,
Speaker 5: what the fuck does that have to do with my parenting?
Speaker 5: Like I'm a great mom, Like Luna's fine, she's healthy,
Speaker 5: she's thriving, she's smart. My naked pictures on fucking Instagram
Speaker 5: are not affecting that, I think.
Speaker 1: I mean, obviously, like the woman's body, it's always so
Speaker 1: we've been sexualized so much. Everything is so sexual and
Speaker 1: even if it is like so what if I feel
Speaker 1: like being sexy or whatever the fuck.
Speaker 4: You're bold or whatever?
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, if it's if it's if it's in
Speaker 1: an if it's in the right setting, then it's acceptable,
Speaker 1: you know, if it's like an an.
Speaker 4: Artistic, artsy like photo shoot. But I feel like most
Speaker 4: of mine are pretty low.
Speaker 2: They are.
Speaker 4: But I just mean, like, if you're Madonna, then it's okay, right.
Speaker 4: If I'm Rihanna, it's cool. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Like if I'm getting paid a lot of money, then
Speaker 1: then suddenly that's okay.
Speaker 4: Right, No one's questioning it.
Speaker 5: Yeah, right, Because if I was like a pop and
Speaker 5: ass celebrity and I decided to do Playboy, no one
Speaker 5: would think twice about it.
Speaker 1: No, everyone that's doing Playboys totally being like even like
Speaker 1: a Kylie Jenner to love people have problems with that.
Speaker 1: Even I have a little bit of problem with not
Speaker 1: a problem, but I just it's Kylie on Playboy.
Speaker 4: She just a playboy.
Speaker 1: She did recently Travis Scott, Travis, he's in it. He
Speaker 1: like shot oh he didn't shoot it. He like interviewed
Speaker 1: her and then like they were in it together. But
Speaker 1: she's not really nude, she's not really new.
Speaker 5: I mean, I mean, Playboys tastes a lot, and honestly
Speaker 5: this sounds really strange, but as a child, that was
Speaker 5: one of my goals in life. I wanted to be
Speaker 5: in Playboy. And I mean not as a child, but
Speaker 5: like as a teenager. I was like, I would definitely
Speaker 5: do that.
Speaker 4: I loved Playboy. I remember finding my ooh yawn.
Speaker 1: I remember finding my dad's Playboys at a really young age.
Speaker 1: My dad had a Playboy's subscription, so he had like
Speaker 1: hundreds of Playboys under the sink in his downstairs bathroom,
Speaker 1: and at night, I would go down there and like
Speaker 1: look at all of them, and I was in awe
Speaker 1: of those girls, Like there was something a naughty that
Speaker 1: I knew I wasn't suposed to be looking at it.
Speaker 4: But also I was like, wow, they're so beautiful. I'm bold,
Speaker 4: and I guess that's true.
Speaker 5: If I can think of my like teenage self or
Speaker 5: and what appealed to me, it's still the same shit
Speaker 5: that appeals to me now. If I see a woman
Speaker 5: being bold and being comfortable and confident in her skin,
Speaker 5: I appreciate that. So it's not like I've changed much.
Speaker 5: That's why I think also irritates me.
Speaker 1: I think for me, I have only become more bold
Speaker 1: and confident in my thirties. Like I think I've always
Speaker 1: been outspoken. I've always been like rebellious in certain ways,
Speaker 1: but I've also been careful and like cared deeply about
Speaker 1: you know what my mom thought about that, the decisions
Speaker 1: that I've made I've made or I'm making, or the
Speaker 1: way I'm looking, or because i I've been an actor
Speaker 1: most of my life, I've just been like I've overthought
Speaker 1: a lot of things. And honestly, this platform and like
Speaker 1: I think motherhood, this plot form, just time age, not
Speaker 1: just not having time to give a fuck, has really
Speaker 1: made me feel like I'm going to do whatever the.
Speaker 4: Fuck I want to do.
Speaker 1: I even remember when we first started this podcast, like
Speaker 1: us having me having to have conversations with you about
Speaker 1: the things I couldn't couldn't could and could not talk about,
Speaker 1: and like those things have kind of gone out the
Speaker 1: window at this point because I'm like, you know what,
Speaker 1: I don't at it's hard not even at one point
Speaker 1: she's like, I think you're still had to do the
Speaker 1: podcast with somebody else.
Speaker 4: I'm like, no, bitch, I'm not.
Speaker 2: No.
Speaker 1: I think it was just like I was in, I
Speaker 1: was I was navigating, I was I was in. I
Speaker 1: was making a lot of decisions based out of fear,
Speaker 1: fear of losing things, fear of not of not being understood,
Speaker 1: and fear of being judged by people that I you know,
Speaker 1: I I've.
Speaker 4: You care about it, I care about their opinions.
Speaker 1: But I'm at the point now where I'm like, I
Speaker 1: don't really I mean, I still do care. I don't
Speaker 1: want to say I don't give a fuck, but I
Speaker 1: also have to live my life. And for me, like
Speaker 1: you know, posting nudes, that's not like, that's not really
Speaker 1: what I'm talking about when I pretend when I'm sick,
Speaker 1: when I'm talking about this is more so like the
Speaker 1: content of what we talk about, Like, yeah, I would
Speaker 1: divulging things about our sex life.
Speaker 5: Or I mean all the time I get anxiety about it, honestly,
Speaker 5: Like but.
Speaker 4: It's it's done.
Speaker 1: But then but then it's like like the feedback that
Speaker 1: we get from you guys, and like, wow, I'm so
Speaker 1: glad you share that because I can relate to that.
Speaker 1: That makes me feel like safe, right, that makes me
Speaker 1: feel safe me too, That makes me feel secure and
Speaker 1: like knowing that Okay, yeah, like it's.
Speaker 4: Not really the big of a deal. Everybody has sex,
Speaker 4: So what he like stuck on my toes?
Speaker 1: Yeah, somebody sucked on my toes and you know, whatever
Speaker 1: the fuck he did. If you have to, you have
Speaker 1: to listen to that episode on our patreon.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, that is from Patreon.
Speaker 1: By the way, I don't know if anyone knows that
Speaker 1: we have a Patreon because we rarely talk about it,
Speaker 1: but we have a patreon where we do extra episodes.
Speaker 4: Every month.
Speaker 5: Episode you get to see the episode and today I
Speaker 5: flash a titty, so you see a titty today.
Speaker 4: And we have some really funny episodes on there. We
Speaker 4: do we do?
Speaker 5: You know I thought when you said rebellious, I thought
Speaker 5: about that today. I'm like, am I just rebellious?
Speaker 1: Like?
Speaker 4: Am I just like? Is it my ego? Not wanting
Speaker 4: to compromise?
Speaker 5: But first of all, this has been a conversation in
Speaker 5: my life ongoing for a long time about like what
Speaker 5: I want to wear. I like, I like see through shit?
Speaker 5: Am I head on Rihanna? I do like like laces
Speaker 5: to like see through things. Those are things that I like,
Speaker 5: I'll gravitate towards in the store. And I've had comments
Speaker 5: from people close to me and like recent most recently,
Speaker 5: I'm kind of like, I'm not arguing with anybody, but
Speaker 5: what the fuck it is? I want to do and
Speaker 5: why because I know myself and I'm not like going
Speaker 5: in the back smoking crystal fucking meth.
Speaker 4: So everybody calm down, you know.
Speaker 5: And I just and I thought about that today, like
Speaker 5: am I just being selfish because I just won't take
Speaker 5: it down? And I'm just like, it's not self it's
Speaker 5: and my dad's like, you're stupid, and I'm like, no,
Speaker 5: I'm not.
Speaker 4: I'm not arguing. Oh I was arguing. I was like,
Speaker 4: shut the fuck up. But I'm not.
Speaker 5: Like, that's actually how we like communicate in my family,
Speaker 5: which is probably not healthy, but it's just I have
Speaker 5: a purpose, Like I feel how I feel about my
Speaker 5: body in the moment, and that's just what it is.
Speaker 4: And it's not about being rebellious.
Speaker 5: They're not compromising for anyone, but I'm tired of feeling
Speaker 5: like I have to compromise things for other people. And
Speaker 5: I don't think that should navigate how you love me
Speaker 5: or what your perception of me. It has nothing to
Speaker 5: do with what's what's inside of my soul. And the
Speaker 5: more that people press that on me, the more it
Speaker 5: makes me rebel.
Speaker 4: I mean a a rebel. Just be like, nah, I'm good.
Speaker 4: You know we're what we're talking about. You are. You
Speaker 4: are rebellious. It's all mine and that's are. But that's
Speaker 4: who we are.
Speaker 1: I think that's where like as parents, like we have
Speaker 1: to be so careful because because like we really tried to.
Speaker 4: I think our parents, you know, are a little more
Speaker 4: old school too.
Speaker 1: And it's like that shit wasn't popping back then. All
Speaker 1: the internet didn't this, so like even posting a nude
Speaker 1: is like wait what But I think like they.
Speaker 4: They have an.
Speaker 1: Idea of what we're supposed to be. They have an
Speaker 1: idea of what's appropriate. Even like today, like I did
Speaker 1: a shoot and and my mom was like, you know,
Speaker 1: I want I want you. She's like, I'm going to
Speaker 1: be dressed like a little more conservative and I want
Speaker 1: you to be dressed sexy.
Speaker 4: And I was like really, like I was shocked.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, okay, shaka, you're not that blind, right, And
Speaker 1: my titties were fully out pretty much, and I.
Speaker 4: Was, what do you mean?
Speaker 1: Like I had like I had this like very like
Speaker 1: low cut top on like boob it was a boob
Speaker 1: be and.
Speaker 4: I've worn my boobs out before.
Speaker 1: And she said something about it, like in a negative way,
Speaker 1: like at an office, like that's inappropriate. But I'm like,
Speaker 1: so it's appropriate here, but it's appropriate, it's inappropriate here,
Speaker 1: but it's appropriate when it's.
Speaker 4: When you when you give me permission, right, you know.
Speaker 1: And it's like, I think that's what parent that's like,
Speaker 1: that's still that like parenting thing where it's like they
Speaker 1: still want to have somewhat of control over how they.
Speaker 4: Want you to be perceived. And I think.
Speaker 1: That's why and I and I and I was aware
Speaker 1: of it today when she when I felt like she
Speaker 1: was giving me permission to wear something that if I
Speaker 1: would have worn it in any other time or place,
Speaker 1: she would have maybe said something about it.
Speaker 4: What kind of shoot? Was it just a regulation?
Speaker 1: I feel like a shoot for like just like photos
Speaker 1: for me and her to have for like events.
Speaker 4: Like different things.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I thought about that, and I thought about like, wow,
Speaker 1: what would I do, like how because don't like how
Speaker 1: do I break that that habit?
Speaker 2: Well?
Speaker 4: How do I break that habit?
Speaker 1: Because there are things that I think, like with Iri,
Speaker 1: that I'm like, don't do that.
Speaker 4: I don't like that. Then I'm like, is that are
Speaker 4: for no?
Speaker 1: I know, I know, I know of course, like they're
Speaker 1: we're not faced with these issues yet.
Speaker 4: Like if I wanted to walk around with.
Speaker 1: Right right with her COUCHI out, you know, like and
Speaker 1: nipples out, what I have something to say?
Speaker 4: Yeah, I probably would.
Speaker 5: Well, I think I think what's really cool about this
Speaker 5: platform and us doing this is because even today in
Speaker 5: our comp when I'm screaming at them like I'm in
Speaker 5: twelfth fucking grade, I thought, I thought about Luna and
Speaker 5: Are and what our dialogue would be in a similar situation,
Speaker 5: and I'm like, this is not getting you anywhere, This
Speaker 5: is not getting me to do shit, And I thought, like,
Speaker 5: I wish you could just communicate.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's probably their approach.
Speaker 5: Their approached like tell talking at me, telling me I'm stupid,
Speaker 5: like I'm stupid because I posted a picture like I
Speaker 5: and it made.
Speaker 4: Me think, like how many times you call me stupid
Speaker 4: in my life?
Speaker 5: And at some point I started to believe that, you know,
Speaker 5: and doubt myself, you know, doubt myself, and that's like
Speaker 5: just just like just probably hardcore Philly communication. But it's
Speaker 5: also it's also it could be detrimental.
Speaker 4: Is that the right word. It's absolutely detrimental.
Speaker 1: Maybe it's absolute, Well, I can, I can say absolutely,
Speaker 1: it's absolutely detrimental.
Speaker 4: Detrimental.
Speaker 1: No, you should never tell your child stupid, no matter
Speaker 1: what the fuck they're doing, especially if it's over a
Speaker 1: picture that's not stupid. You just don't like that and
Speaker 1: you don't agree with it. And maybe if they had,
Speaker 1: maybe if they approached you a different way, you probably
Speaker 1: still would not delete the picture, and you probably would
Speaker 1: still be like, no, this is who I am, but
Speaker 1: you might be able to at least the conversation not angry.
Speaker 1: Maybe they would gain some perspective about why you could
Speaker 1: be having this conversation with them like you're having with me.
Speaker 4: Would they understand Maybe not, but maybe they would more so,
Speaker 4: But they are not approaching it the right way.
Speaker 5: And because it's always been an issue for me, I
Speaker 5: think I do get defensive because my other friends tried to,
Speaker 5: like annoying people close to me bring it up, because
Speaker 5: it's like, if you know me, you absolutely know that
Speaker 5: I prefer to be naked. I feel more comfortable naked.
Speaker 5: I feel more comfortable being photographed naked than closed. I
Speaker 5: feel weird, like I have to come up with poses
Speaker 5: and I just and I thought about all those things,
Speaker 5: like damn Luna's gonna be my age? What is how
Speaker 5: is our communication going to be? And in this, in
Speaker 5: this same scenario if she was, if she was in it,
Speaker 5: what I feel like they feel and what I feel disrespected?
Speaker 4: My mom was so mad that I blocked her. Girl.
Speaker 4: How did she know? I said, I'm blocking you right now,
Speaker 4: and then she must have checked and she's like, you
Speaker 4: don't love me either, block me all the things I
Speaker 4: do for you. I'm like, so you don't have to
Speaker 4: see it? No I will.
Speaker 5: You don't have to worry about it. If you won't
Speaker 5: see it, you won't have access.
Speaker 4: And I kind of.
Speaker 5: She kinda made me feel bad about it, but I don't.
Speaker 4: I mean, if we.
Speaker 5: Can't have civil, respectful conversations about it.
Speaker 4: Or like, how about just don't say shit? You know?
Speaker 4: This is who I am. That's my biggest thing. That's
Speaker 4: the thing too.
Speaker 1: It's like I've been this way over and over and over.
Speaker 1: How many more times are are you going to resist
Speaker 1: who the fuck I am? This is who I am.
Speaker 1: Your perspective is not changing it, it never has. Just
Speaker 1: give in, just like you've had to give in to
Speaker 1: who she is. When we've realized that our parents are
Speaker 1: people and they're not perfect and they fuck up.
Speaker 5: Like speaking of which, Speaking of which, So we have
Speaker 5: all this conversation, all this argument, right, and I'm in
Speaker 5: the next room and then I hear my fucking mom
Speaker 5: they're telling me how immature I am.
Speaker 4: And I hear my.
Speaker 5: Mom like, my Dad's like, my phone's not working. She's like, well,
Speaker 5: maybe have people blocked on there. Let me see, give
Speaker 5: it to me I'll see. He's like, no, I got it.
Speaker 5: She's like, let me see. I'm not trying to look
Speaker 5: at your friones want to show you. He's like, no,
Speaker 5: I got it. I'm like, you're trying to go through
Speaker 5: this nigga's phone while calling me immature, Like you guys
Speaker 5: are crazy. You My mom, first of all, don't want
Speaker 5: my dad to go nowhere. If he could be like
Speaker 5: I'm going downstairs, why where are you going? Who are
Speaker 5: you going with? I'm going to see my friend?
Speaker 4: Why who? Whatever?
Speaker 5: Miles whatever. I'm like, but I'm in mature, okay. So
Speaker 5: and then I just it just made me laugh. I'm like,
Speaker 5: we thinkus are crazy? Well, I mean I think maybe
Speaker 5: it's both ways.
Speaker 1: Like you have to kind of accept that they're not
Speaker 1: going to change that they're always going to take issue
Speaker 1: with your boobs and whatever you do with them, and
Speaker 1: maybe you find more they might they're never going.
Speaker 4: To find peace with that.
Speaker 1: So you have to find peace with yourself and knowing
Speaker 1: that you can't react that way.
Speaker 4: And that and that's really where I've been at recently.
Speaker 4: I had a conversation with another.
Speaker 5: Friend about some shit like this this last.
Speaker 4: Month, and I'm just kind of over it.
Speaker 5: I'm over everybody, and I'm actually, oh, I can't leave
Speaker 5: my mom's house because I'm staying there. But you know,
Speaker 5: I had another conversation with somebody that like rubbed me
Speaker 5: the wrong way that I've known a long time, and
Speaker 5: I was just like, I'm leaving.
Speaker 4: I'm like, okay, well catch you later.
Speaker 5: And then I had a conversation with myself because usually
Speaker 5: in the past I could harbor some shit. Have you
Speaker 5: ever like had an argument with somebody in your head? Yeah, Like, oh, like,
Speaker 5: I'm like this fucking like I can get mad in
Speaker 5: my remad remad, And I was just like, I'm going
Speaker 5: to do that. I'm gonna let that be with you,
Speaker 5: and I'm going to not take it personally because has
Speaker 5: nothing to do with me. What I choose to do
Speaker 5: has nothing to do with me, and so I'm just
Speaker 5: I've decided like I'm not going to take things personally
Speaker 5: or internalize things because it just makes me insecure. It
Speaker 5: makes me overthink what the fuck I'm doing. And I'm
Speaker 5: good at what I do. I take nice notes, Okay,
Speaker 5: I cross out the titties real nice on the Instagram.
Speaker 5: You know, it's for everybody's viewing pleasure. And if it
Speaker 5: bothers you and follow me, and I'm not going to
Speaker 5: be angry for anybody else because people who have issues
Speaker 5: take issue with you, it's usually something reflective of what
Speaker 5: they've experienced.
Speaker 1: It's their al right, Like what if I hate that
Speaker 1: you take, you always take the same motherfucking photo. I
Speaker 1: hate that goddamn photo from the bottom looking up your nostrils.
Speaker 1: That shit is whack. It irritates me. But I don't
Speaker 1: fucking say shit. No, I don't say that. That ain't
Speaker 1: tri angle bitch, that's not cute. As a matter of fact,
Speaker 1: every time I see it, I get pissed. You know, No,
Speaker 1: I don't say that, So get the fuck off my
Speaker 1: gram and don't worry about my nipples period. You know,
Speaker 1: It's like you're right, No, it totally is a reflect
Speaker 1: for a reflection of of their.
Speaker 4: Own shit, and they they don't understand, you know, and
Speaker 4: you have to like just with the moment you.
Speaker 1: Realize that not everyone is the same, Not everyone's gonna
Speaker 1: make the same decisions as long as they're not hurting anyone,
Speaker 1: They're not hurting you, you're not harming your child, Like.
Speaker 4: Who fluckers hares?
Speaker 1: Who fucking care short to be worried about whether I
Speaker 1: posted a nude or not?
Speaker 5: And it's really it's too short to be arguing with
Speaker 5: you about it, like defending myself because I don't have to.
Speaker 4: I'm a grown ass woman. So yeah, I'm like, we're
Speaker 4: you gonna kick me out?
Speaker 5: But yeah, I mean, it's just I just feel like
Speaker 5: it's like, imagine, if I let someone continue to dim
Speaker 5: me down and continue to make a question myself and
Speaker 5: just be smaller and smaller, take up less space, it
Speaker 5: could really like I could maybe not be here right
Speaker 5: now with you having this conversation, too scared to discuss
Speaker 5: you know, what's important to me, And I think honestly,
Speaker 5: for both of us, I don't think we've realized that
Speaker 5: like this is therapeutic because we're exercising our throat chakra,
Speaker 5: you know, we're exercising speaking freely and letting certain energy
Speaker 5: flow and being honest, and there's therapy in that. Like physically,
Speaker 5: I think it's made me develop these skills to be like, oh,
Speaker 5: this shit doesn't matter. Like my whole life, I've been
Speaker 5: this way, but it's not till now at thirty one,
Speaker 5: where I'm really realizing, like, this is my gift, my
Speaker 5: titties and I'm kidding, this is my gift to be
Speaker 5: in being completely aligned and authentic with myself and then
Speaker 5: to deliver it to people and then you know, maybe
Speaker 5: somewhere along the way I give someone something that they needed.
Speaker 5: But if I allow anyone to tell me what I
Speaker 5: should and should not do or speak, who would Jamilla be?
Speaker 4: Not Jamala?
Speaker 1: Right?
Speaker 4: Jamila? Ja Jamila, Jamela, Jamala potato potato. You got you
Speaker 4: got a new nickname? Send it in jam Lily lely. No,
Speaker 4: I don't know.
Speaker 5: My brother calls me Bella. When he was little. He
Speaker 5: can say Jamela. He was like Bella. It was like Bella,
Speaker 5: jam Mill, mills.
Speaker 4: So many nicknames. Okay, what's anything going on with you
Speaker 4: this week?
Speaker 7: No?
Speaker 4: Not really I mean no, nothing, huge nothing. I'm trying
Speaker 4: to think. Oh, I mean nothing, no, nothing that I
Speaker 4: feel like it's gonna say this pressing right, it's worth
Speaker 4: my energy.
Speaker 5: No, okay, no, no, I Me and Erica are hosting
Speaker 5: a Witchy Dinner and Manifestation meal on Sunday because we're
Speaker 5: smart and decided to have.
Speaker 4: An event right before really just in case we'd have
Speaker 4: enough stress. Yeah, they're like, well, let's do something special.
Speaker 4: But you know what I will say about that. I
Speaker 4: think that.
Speaker 5: We do no matter what we do, no matter how
Speaker 5: many things we put on our plate, will make it
Speaker 5: happen sometimes, so sometimes it's better like to just put
Speaker 5: it out there and then we have to commit or
Speaker 5: else we'll be like eight.
Speaker 4: Months to another live show. No, it's true, it's true.
Speaker 4: We pull shit together. We sure do. We do that.
Speaker 4: We do that. I have stayed fully invested in this dinner.
Speaker 1: At first, I was jealous that I just wasn't a
Speaker 1: part of it, and now I'm so glad that I'm not.
Speaker 1: I'm like, you know what, you and Anisia handle that ship.
Speaker 4: I mean, on Sunday, we'll figure it out. It'll be fun.
Speaker 4: That's that's that's all, what do you what do you
Speaker 4: want to manifest? A successful show?
Speaker 5: So money, Yeah, that's pretty much money, more shows, to
Speaker 5: blow the fuck up, baby.
Speaker 4: Baby, baby baby.
Speaker 6: That's really mostly yeah, just to be the better version
Speaker 6: of myself and to continue to be growing and loving
Speaker 6: on myself and making more money and getting the fuck
Speaker 6: out of my mom's house if she can't tell me
Speaker 6: about my nids.
Speaker 5: On Facebook, and having a really live ass even more
Speaker 5: successful show than the first one, to kind of like
Speaker 5: snowball into the next thing.
Speaker 1: What are you manifesting the same, manifesting an amazing show
Speaker 1: and more.
Speaker 4: I think also I just want to, like I really
Speaker 4: want to.
Speaker 1: I've been like working more and more towards the comfort
Speaker 1: of the loneliness, and just I want to keep manifesting that.
Speaker 1: I don't know strength, it's strength, strength and comfortability of
Speaker 1: just doing that.
Speaker 4: And letting go of.
Speaker 1: The past and like letting you say that, letting it
Speaker 1: go because I haven't fully.
Speaker 4: I mean I have in a lot of ways, but.
Speaker 1: I haven't fully, and it's time.
Speaker 4: It's time. There's so weak.
Speaker 1: I have so many amazing things happening in my life.
Speaker 1: I have my daughter is amazing and doing so well.
Speaker 1: And this is doing so well. I'm doing great at work.
Speaker 1: I feel more confident than ever and I feel like
Speaker 1: that's like that last like hanging fruit that really I know,
Speaker 1: but I think, I mean, I know it takes time, yeah,
Speaker 1: and I'm trying to be patient, but like and.
Speaker 5: A piece of people always go there, a piece of
Speaker 5: you can always live there. So I feel like life
Speaker 5: isn't linear, and there's if we sit back and think
Speaker 5: about a time in our life, we can we can
Speaker 5: all those feelings, all that wherever placement we were that
Speaker 5: can we can relive that. But it's about being able
Speaker 5: to like detach from it and not like make it
Speaker 5: make you sad or you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: Now, I also, yeah, there's that, but also I want
Speaker 1: to manifest just a more like just abundance in my life.
Speaker 1: And I mean that in so many ways, Like I
Speaker 1: mean that in like money, hell yeah, like having multiple
Speaker 1: streams of income because you know, they say the richest
Speaker 1: people in the world have seven streams of.
Speaker 4: Income, creating more space.
Speaker 1: Like I were so busy and I don't want that
Speaker 1: to stop, but like being able to manage my time
Speaker 1: better because I'm not that great at that, you know.
Speaker 1: Actually recently, you know, I've like I haven't really been
Speaker 1: able to devote a lot of time to you know, people.
Speaker 4: In my life.
Speaker 1: And like I've said this, like I don't know, do
Speaker 1: we talk about this before. I don't know, Like I
Speaker 1: think sometimes people think like me and you are just
Speaker 1: like hanging out all the time, just like people.
Speaker 5: Are jealous if our bomb ass weren't slash best friendship.
Speaker 1: But I mean like they don't really understand that, yeah,
Speaker 1: we are hanging out, but like we are working.
Speaker 4: Yeah ninety nine nine percent of the time. I feel
Speaker 4: like people think this is a hobby.
Speaker 1: And if they saw this fucking raport I'm looking at
Speaker 1: right now, they would know it's not.
Speaker 5: Let me take a picture of our drivey for race
Speaker 5: sports better better make you understand.
Speaker 1: But but like recently, I had a friend of mine
Speaker 1: who reached out to me, who I've known for a while,
Speaker 1: and he moved out here from New York with his
Speaker 1: wife or they I don't know if they're married, but
Speaker 1: they're essentially married. And he's like a great person. I
Speaker 1: love him dearly, and like when he moved out here,
Speaker 1: he told him that, like I was going to be
Speaker 1: there for him, right and I haven't been, and it's
Speaker 1: just and it's not because I don't want to. It's honestly,
Speaker 1: you know, when you get in like the rhythm of
Speaker 1: your life, you get in like these like you have
Speaker 1: not a schedule, but like you have like a routine,
Speaker 1: and sometimes like you get so caught up in that
Speaker 1: and like you're so focused on things that you forget
Speaker 1: about like oh shit, you live here.
Speaker 4: Fuck.
Speaker 1: And so he recently reached out to me and I
Speaker 1: was like, yeah. He was like, you want to come
Speaker 1: to my son's birthday party. I was like, you know what,
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry. I have not been a good friend
Speaker 1: to you. I have not been there for you.
Speaker 4: I have not hung out with you. I have not
Speaker 4: called you.
Speaker 1: And he was like it's cool, I understand. And I
Speaker 1: was like, I don't think I'm gonna be able to
Speaker 1: make his birthday party, but like, let's try to hang
Speaker 1: out another day. So we didn't get to hang out.
Speaker 1: I did obviously, I didn't make He's a birthday party.
Speaker 4: We didn't get to.
Speaker 1: Hang out, and then we made another I told him
Speaker 1: we can make hang out the next week. I ended
Speaker 1: up getting sick. I didn't hit him up.
Speaker 4: I didn't cancel.
Speaker 1: I didn't tell him, and then I reached out to
Speaker 1: him the next day and said, I apologize, And then
Speaker 1: he told me, like, you know, I realize you're busy,
Speaker 1: but like you know, I have a schedule too, and
Speaker 1: you know, I have a wife and I have kids,
Speaker 1: and you could have at least reached out to me
Speaker 1: and said you're busy. It seems like you're spreading yourself
Speaker 1: reallye thin, and I don't want to be part of
Speaker 1: your stress, so you can reach out to me when
Speaker 1: you want. And I felt so bad, like because he
Speaker 1: was so like he knew exactly how to like make me,
Speaker 1: not make me feel like I felt guilty because I
Speaker 1: felt guilty because.
Speaker 4: Of just this. You forgot to tell me you weren't coming.
Speaker 5: I just like I never followed up, and I get that,
Speaker 5: but like, can you imagine would you send a text
Speaker 5: like that?
Speaker 1: Maybe I wasn't mad at he was one hundred percent
Speaker 1: rrectka for sending it to me. I just felt like, damn,
Speaker 1: someone called me out right, you know, and I'm like, damn,
Speaker 1: I and I told him, I wrote back, I'm like,
Speaker 1: you're right, I am spreading myself too thin, and I'm
Speaker 1: sorry that I missed that, and like, we can hang
Speaker 1: out next week, but I don't think you want to.
Speaker 1: But I'll circle back when I when I have more time.
Speaker 1: And like, you know, like my friend just my friend
Speaker 1: has a baby and I haven't really been there for her,
Speaker 1: Like there's multiple people that it's not because they don't
Speaker 1: want to, it's just I'm so focused and that's not
Speaker 1: always an excuse.
Speaker 4: So I but I want I have to figure out
Speaker 4: how to make more space.
Speaker 5: Well, I think because we're focused on the same thing
Speaker 5: a lot of the time, which is like all the time.
Speaker 5: I think because I thought about that Lunas saying shit
Speaker 5: to me, I'm always working on my phone and I'm like, damn,
Speaker 5: she can call me out. But also I realized that,
Speaker 5: like I don't intend on this being the hustle forever.
Speaker 5: I don't intend on us too, being the whole motherfucking
Speaker 5: team forever, you know what I mean. And I feel
Speaker 5: like we both know that we're working like this to
Speaker 5: get to a certain point so that we do have
Speaker 5: like it, we have space to be like, Okay, we've
Speaker 5: built this up to here, and now we can better
Speaker 5: manage our time.
Speaker 4: I feel like that's what I tell myself. No, No,
Speaker 4: I think, and I think that's true.
Speaker 1: I think if you talk to any person that has
Speaker 1: a successful business, they tell you that there was a
Speaker 1: lot of sacrifices they had to make to get here,
Speaker 1: and a lot of those sacrifices were time with people
Speaker 1: they love, you know, kids, friends, whatever it may be, themselves,
Speaker 1: you know.
Speaker 4: And I feel like that we're in the.
Speaker 1: Thick of that right now, and I'm experiencing a lot
Speaker 1: of guilt all around, like from in the friend department,
Speaker 1: in the kid department, Like even with Iri, I've been
Speaker 1: feeling like super guilty because I literally she comes home
Speaker 1: from school, I'm working with you. I feed her dinner
Speaker 1: in the other room. I barely even sit with her.
Speaker 1: I just put the TV on and then it's time
Speaker 1: for bed, and then I haven't even hung out with her.
Speaker 4: And I've been doing that for like two or three
Speaker 4: weeks straight. No, I know. And it's like and then
Speaker 4: we feel like, you're here, we can see you guys
Speaker 4: are playing with each other. It's fine.
Speaker 1: And that's why I'm always like, keep bring Luna please,
Speaker 1: because I feel bad.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and.
Speaker 1: She probably won't remember these times, and maybe she will,
Speaker 1: maybe there will be times that she's on that. It's
Speaker 1: just at that age now, both of our kids are
Speaker 1: at that age where they do remember.
Speaker 4: But I do want her to look.
Speaker 1: What I keep telling myself is that I would rather
Speaker 1: her see me grinding at something that I'm passionate about
Speaker 1: and see me working than not and sitting on that
Speaker 1: couch with her unhappy, right and not even present over
Speaker 1: there too, sitting there with dinner, watching cartoons with her,
Speaker 1: but depressed. Because that's kind of where I was before
Speaker 1: before this, not knowing what my purpose was, not knowing
Speaker 1: what I was doing, not even knowing like what makes
Speaker 1: me really truly makes me happy.
Speaker 4: And that's what I keep telling these That's what I
Speaker 4: keep telling myself.
Speaker 1: I mean, that's true, but I still feel like there
Speaker 1: is a balance, But there's a balance.
Speaker 4: Sometimes the ship is going to be imbalanced. We have
Speaker 4: to do better at time in.
Speaker 1: Sometimes the ship is going to be imbalanced. Though people
Speaker 1: always talk about balance, balance, balance, sometimes balance can't exist.
Speaker 4: It just can't.
Speaker 1: When you're when you're really grinding at odds at something,
Speaker 1: sometimes it's going to be imbalanced at times. And then
Speaker 1: you and then you go back, I mean, and then
Speaker 1: but then I'm like Is that true? Or am I
Speaker 1: just not good at sending by setting boundaries? Am I
Speaker 1: not good at setting boundaries?
Speaker 4: You know? It's like it's fine a combination of all
Speaker 4: of that.
Speaker 5: But I think that there, there is, there will be
Speaker 5: a time and it's coming that we're gonna look at
Speaker 5: each other and be like, oh my god, this shit
Speaker 5: fucking finally paid off.
Speaker 4: We've done that to be here. I don't really know where.
Speaker 5: That here is per se right now, but I think
Speaker 5: we both I think we both know that that's I
Speaker 5: think we both know that that's eventually coming, and I
Speaker 5: think that's what makes us both grind that much harder.
Speaker 5: I don't think if we thought like I've had other
Speaker 5: I mean, I have a business, I have things that
Speaker 5: I really like to do. Nothing like I felt like
Speaker 5: about this, Nothing that I felt that I'm living in
Speaker 5: my purpose as much as this, And so I think
Speaker 5: that there like just like you can't we can't sleep,
Speaker 5: We're fucking stressing. We're texting each other four in the morning,
Speaker 5: like write this down random shit like boys blah blah blah,
Speaker 5: like things that make absolutely no sense because it's just
Speaker 5: that heavy on our heart. And I think when when
Speaker 5: there's something that you're that passionate about. That's how it's
Speaker 5: going to be. And I don't think it's gonna be
Speaker 5: like this forever. And I think we both know we're
Speaker 5: grinding for there to be this place where we have
Speaker 5: seven streams of income.
Speaker 4: Sign up for Patreon for real. But yeah, you know,
Speaker 4: motherhood is hard. Being an adult is hard.
Speaker 5: It's like some depression, a lot of anxiety, a lot
Speaker 5: of worrying, a lot of stressing, a lot of wanting
Speaker 5: to be rich, and a lot of reminding yourself to
Speaker 5: get off of fucking Instagram. But that's we're all here together.
Speaker 5: You know, no one has it completely together. You know,
Speaker 5: there's we're not fucking Mary Poppins. It doesn't it doesn't
Speaker 5: roll that way. And I'm not saying we were, as
Speaker 5: long as we're conscious and we're actively working to be
Speaker 5: better and to know, like, Okay, we're fucking up right now.
Speaker 5: And when this show is over, we're gonna come back
Speaker 5: and chill.
Speaker 4: Then, are we? Because are we like gonna like start
Speaker 4: working on our next one? New York? Okay, Well it's
Speaker 4: gonna be easier every you know what I do now, though,
Speaker 4: it's going to get easier.
Speaker 5: But I will say, do you remember a long time ago,
Speaker 5: that long time ago, like eight months ago, where it
Speaker 5: took us like all day to send like three emails.
Speaker 4: Do you remember that.
Speaker 5: I was like when we were like pushing out emails
Speaker 5: for this, I was like, oh, look at us with
Speaker 5: email templates.
Speaker 4: You know. Yeah, we're fine tuning the process.
Speaker 5: So it's like, the more we practice that getting better,
Speaker 5: it will become more efficient.
Speaker 1: I think, well, okay, we're fine doing the process of this,
Speaker 1: and then we're also going to fine tune the process
Speaker 1: of this plus motherhood as well.
Speaker 4: Yeah, fine tuning that, and then we're going to fine
Speaker 4: tune the process of a show, and then we're going.
Speaker 5: To find you know, so it's gonna get easier because
Speaker 5: we'll have we've done it fifteen fucking times. We've sent
Speaker 5: that fucking email forty thousand times.
Speaker 4: So yeah, I see you. You're doing a good job.
Speaker 5: I think that you get really guilty, you feel really
Speaker 5: guilt because you travel a lot, and I think, like,
Speaker 5: you're doing a good job. And I think also we
Speaker 5: don't have like baby daddy, well, I mean whatever, I
Speaker 5: don't know what your baby daddy tells you like to
Speaker 5: be like, damn baby doing a bomb ass shop being
Speaker 5: a mother. I know I'm a good mom, and I
Speaker 5: get it from like people on Instagram, which is strange,
Speaker 5: but I don't really hear that from like people really
Speaker 5: close to me. And it doesn't make me question myself
Speaker 5: because I know I'm a good mom. But if we
Speaker 5: were in a space where we were in a relationship,
Speaker 5: we were getting reassured by partners, I think we would
Speaker 5: feel a little bit less guilty because sometimes you know,
Speaker 5: we've never done this shit before.
Speaker 1: No, you need that, not you need that, You don't
Speaker 1: need it, but like it feels good. You get that
Speaker 1: from someone that is around you the most, like your
Speaker 1: mother or your father, right, but if they're attacking or
Speaker 1: your daughter's father.
Speaker 5: But if they're a tacking you about this and that
Speaker 5: and your fucking Instagram photos, you're like, damn, you so
Speaker 5: quick to say this, But have you said you're doing
Speaker 5: a fucking good job.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Actually, my mom got mad at me like a month ago.
Speaker 5: I was like, you're not doing a good job though,
Speaker 5: and I was like, wow, that was evil.
Speaker 4: But yeah, we are doing a good job.
Speaker 5: We're doing a great job with just the two of
Speaker 5: us for a fifty person fucking team.
Speaker 4: Well, I think if no one has told you, and
Speaker 4: I know I told you earlier, You're a great mom. Thanks,
Speaker 4: you are a great mom. Luna is very lucky.
Speaker 1: I see the watching her videos last night, I was dying.
Speaker 4: And also like a little I was like I want
Speaker 4: what I was like, I was not like that. Why
Speaker 4: is she not? Like maybe I need to like be
Speaker 4: what am I doing wrong? This is wait?
Speaker 1: I was like, why doesn't I read all the Spice Girls?
Speaker 1: What the fuck am I doing?
Speaker 5: I know?
Speaker 4: Literally, I was like, oh my god, how did I
Speaker 4: miss that.
Speaker 6: ABC's Spice Girls get Honestly, I.
Speaker 4: Was like, how does she not know Genie in the bottle?
Speaker 4: She doesn't like? Luna was like, knows the words.
Speaker 5: And your defense she a lot of that's from youtwo,
Speaker 5: which is not good, Like how do you know everywhere YouTube?
Speaker 5: She I heard her like kind of singing and I
Speaker 5: was like, are you singing what I think you're singing?
Speaker 4: But some things I do show her, but like I
Speaker 4: just it is important. They need to know Spice Girls.
Speaker 4: It's absolutely crucial. And sometimes I get excited like, oh,
Speaker 4: well you hear this album yet? What about Dirty? Wait?
Speaker 4: Hold on? Let me pull up a couple of things.
Speaker 4: You don't even know half of it, you know.
Speaker 1: I'm just like, I'm just like, my most important thing
Speaker 1: for her to know is Eric Abadou.
Speaker 4: I'm like, who is this? I always test her, I'm like,
Speaker 4: who is this? I forget? I mean she she's yeah.
Speaker 4: I don't know if she knows any But that's because.
Speaker 1: I'm obsessed, and I've been obsessed since I was a kid.
Speaker 1: But I've also was obsessed with those pop songs.
Speaker 4: Remember her live Remember her live album Eric? My mom
Speaker 4: had that.
Speaker 5: I remember that? Yeah, girl, Yeah, how maybe she use
Speaker 5: that for this?
Speaker 4: Yeah? I think you're right. Anyway, I really have to pee.
Speaker 5: Okay, buy tickets to our live show if you're in
Speaker 5: the Atlanta and the nearby area.
Speaker 1: All of our VIP tickets are sold out. You missed
Speaker 1: out because the gift bags bomb. But maybe we should
Speaker 1: have made more VIP gift bags.
Speaker 4: Definitely should have made it fifty living and learn and learning. Yeah,
Speaker 4: we'll see you guys there.
Speaker 1: I'm excited, and I hope you guys know, like, if
Speaker 1: you guys are experiencing guilt, or if you guys are
Speaker 1: experiencing shame from family members or you know, second guesting,
Speaker 1: a second guessing yourself, second guessing your career choices, and
Speaker 1: you've gotten a lot of no's and people don't understand
Speaker 1: your vision.
Speaker 4: Just know you're not alone.
Speaker 1: Like these are things that like I've heard a lot,
Speaker 1: and it wasn't until I started this that I really
Speaker 1: understood how it feels for like people to really just
Speaker 1: pass you up and be like no thanks.
Speaker 4: Eh, nah, no what yeah, no, shit fucking hurts.
Speaker 1: But if you just keep pushing and pushing, and like,
Speaker 1: I'm really lucky because I do have a partner. I
Speaker 1: have Jamila, and like we just encourage each other. But
Speaker 1: there's people out here that are doing this shit on
Speaker 1: their own, and they're starting businesses on their own, and
Speaker 1: they have to be the they have to be their
Speaker 1: own support system. They have to be you know, they're
Speaker 1: our own cheerleader and remind themselves, no, no, I got this,
Speaker 1: I got this. You're not alone, and keep going, keep
Speaker 1: fucking going because it will pay off. I've seen it.
Speaker 1: I've seen it, and I'm feeling it now and we're
Speaker 1: just at the tip of the iceberg.
Speaker 4: Yeah you know so.
Speaker 5: And Mama, you're doing a good job and know thyself
Speaker 5: and then no one else's opinion or shaming or et
Speaker 5: cetera will bother you because you know what you're doing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, anyway, have a wonderful day.
Speaker 4: And join Patreon.
Speaker 5: See us on Instagram, Good Mom's Underscore, Bad Choices.
Speaker 4: Also follow us on Facebook.
Speaker 1: Make sure you follow us on Facebook because we are
Speaker 1: becoming a lot more active on there, and we post
Speaker 1: a lot of more funny memes on their memes what's called.
Speaker 4: Me okay memes and shit. Also, we have a secret
Speaker 4: Facebook page if you join the Patreon where we talk
Speaker 4: a lot about ship.
Speaker 5: So yeah, all right, guys, catch you later.
Speaker 4: And parties don't stop. Field eight in the Phone.
Speaker 2: Where the players play and we ride on them.
Speaker 3: Facts like every day, Big Beats, hit Street, Seek James's Romance,
Speaker 3: and parties don't go.
Speaker 2: Fill eight in the Phone and.
Speaker 3: Welcome to Atlanta, where the players play and we ride
Speaker 3: on them. Things like every day, Big Beats, Hitch Street,
Speaker 3: Seek James's Roman, and parties don't stop.
Speaker 4: Field eight in the Bone.
Speaker 3: Where the players play and we ride on them. Facts
Speaker 3: like every day, Big beatt