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Speaker 1: You guys, we are officially four motherfucking days away from

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Speaker 1: our live show in Atlanta. We are so excited to

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Speaker 1: meet you all. Make sure you buy those tickets. VIP

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Speaker 1: has already sold out. Regular admission is about to sell out,

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Speaker 1: so you want to make sure and get those tickets

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Speaker 1: on our website, Good Momsbad Choices dot com or on

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Speaker 1: our Instagram Good Mom's Underscore Bad Choices. We cannot wait

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Speaker 1: to meet you October thirteenth, Sunday. Doors open at six

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Speaker 1: thirty pm. Show starts at seven point thirty. But you know,

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Speaker 1: black people be late and shit, it's at BQE Lounge.

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Speaker 1: Jamila's already in Atlanta, so hit that bitch up and

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Speaker 1: see what she's doing. So if you're in the Atlanta

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Speaker 1: area around at Lan, Atlanta and Alabama, whatever wherever the

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Speaker 1: fuck you are, come through anyway. I hope you guys

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Speaker 1: enjoyed this episode featuring me and Jamina.

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Speaker 2: Welcome to Atlanta's Ammazon Boats.

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Speaker 3: Back to the Macan the clothes that Unlesson's back in.

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Speaker 2: The knock on this dome. It happened to know the

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Speaker 2: one with the flow who did it was me. If

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Speaker 2: the post they did in the road that Ludas didn't.

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Speaker 2: That's cut supreme skating down. No nets touched and lean

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Speaker 2: it just clean. As a matter of fact, got the team.

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Speaker 2: No blood on the Snake's gonna keep it so my

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Speaker 2: kicks is clean. Get the cream cops, see me flick

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Speaker 2: my beans. I'm allergic.

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Speaker 3: That Jack was Christ and it hits the means point

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Speaker 3: point pig pigs.

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Speaker 2: You away with the pork only still more needs a

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Speaker 2: steak knife in a port? Did you forget your manner?

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Speaker 2: Fruits with banners? Fluda Christ? Johnny Rockets when I can

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Speaker 2: the wooly mana stabit to welcome.

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Speaker 4: Back to good Moms, bad choices. I'm Erica and I'm Mela,

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Speaker 4: and it bitch is fucking tired. I know, I'm fucking exhausted.

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Speaker 1: I have never worked so hard in my life on anything.

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Speaker 5: I feel like every time we plan a show, like

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Speaker 5: whenever we start committing to the date is non suck craziness.

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Speaker 5: And that's why it took so long between March and now.

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Speaker 4: Like God damn, and we want to and we want

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Speaker 4: to keep doing this. Are we sure? I mean?

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Speaker 5: I think once we get this kink out the way,

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Speaker 5: it will be smooth sailing.

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Speaker 4: Oh, my god.

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Speaker 1: If anyone out there is thinking about starting the podcast,

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Speaker 1: like honestly, just like really think about it. It's fucking hard.

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Speaker 4: It is, it really is.

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Speaker 5: It's exhausting and stressful, especially when you love it, but

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Speaker 5: it's also rewarding.

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Speaker 4: It's no, it's been amazing, but I'm tired. I just

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Speaker 4: obsessed about it. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed.

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Speaker 5: I really literally last night I could not sleep doing

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Speaker 5: the visualizations I said to visualize, and I kept waking

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Speaker 5: up like it was just.

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Speaker 4: It's crazy.

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Speaker 5: But then it also part of me makes me know

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Speaker 5: that I'm doing something right, because if I can't sleep

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Speaker 5: over this shit, this must be really.

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Speaker 4: Really good, right. I mean, anyway, we have a show

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Speaker 4: coming up.

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Speaker 1: If you didn't, if you've been caught on, if you

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Speaker 1: don't already know, because we've been promoting it for four

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Speaker 1: hundred years, well not.

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Speaker 4: Really four hundred years, because actually we started planning this

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Speaker 4: not that long ago, low key, it was like it

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Speaker 4: was like five weeks ago.

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Speaker 1: That's not a long time to put a whole show

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Speaker 1: and a whole other city together in a city that

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Speaker 1: we don't really know people in like you do, but

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Speaker 1: you don't.

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Speaker 4: But I definitely do not.

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Speaker 1: And pulling favors and finding venues and asking brands for

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Speaker 1: shit and finding money and buy a fucking stage visor

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Speaker 1: still haven't done that, and creating a.

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Speaker 5: Show and creating a show and we still haven't done that.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, it's a lot flights and.

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Speaker 5: Graphics and invites and invites and fucking newsletters and updates

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Speaker 5: and finding fucking special guests and getting people to post

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Speaker 5: to support you, but they won't because they want fifty

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Speaker 5: fucking dollars.

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Speaker 4: Who Sorry but.

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Speaker 1: For those of us that we but you know what,

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Speaker 1: I've realized in this process that we have some really

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Speaker 1: balm ass friends.

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Speaker 4: We really do. We really like.

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Speaker 1: We have friends that are flying to Atlanta to support us.

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Speaker 1: They're flying across the country to come to our show.

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Speaker 4: Bitch, I know, I know, and people who don't know

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Speaker 4: are coming. I know. But even more so, people are

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Speaker 4: traveling from other states, driving flying. This shit is crazy.

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Speaker 4: Calm down and give me excited. I'm funny, I like,

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Speaker 4: I don't even know how this happened.

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Speaker 5: You know, I'm just mostly scared because I'm I mean,

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Speaker 5: I'm not scared nervous because in LA I.

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Speaker 4: Was nervous and it was like a lot of people

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Speaker 4: we knew.

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Speaker 5: But from here, Like, it's gonna be a lot of

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Speaker 5: people I know, but like I haven't seen in ten

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Speaker 5: fucking years. I've think half people are probably like, what

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Speaker 5: the fuck is this bitch doing? I don't know, let's

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Speaker 5: go see. So I know I'm gonna be super nervous.

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Speaker 5: We've got other people.

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Speaker 1: Involved now, I know we've like dragged people into the

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Speaker 1: show trying to figure out what the fuck they're doing

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Speaker 1: at the show.

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Speaker 5: It's just man, but we do it as goes to

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Speaker 5: show like who our friends are, who supports us.

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Speaker 4: It's been amazing though it is. It's going to be amazing.

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Speaker 4: It's going to be amazing.

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Speaker 1: We have great we have I'm excited to meet all

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Speaker 1: the people that are going to come out. I'm excited to,

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Speaker 1: you know, have our guests on.

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Speaker 4: We have to.

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Speaker 1: We've gotten like some really awesome guests and I'm excited

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Speaker 1: to see how that all plays out live.

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Speaker 5: I think it's gonna be cool because we all have

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Speaker 5: really different personalities, Like Danielle is totally different than us,

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Speaker 5: and Shanisia is different than us, and we don't even

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Speaker 5: really know more so it's just like but I feel

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Speaker 5: like she's like us.

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Speaker 4: But we don't know because it's going to be a surprise.

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Speaker 4: It's a surprised for us to be right, like maybe

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Speaker 4: we should hang out with her before.

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Speaker 5: But and I have a really good feeling, like I

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Speaker 5: haven't lived in Atlanta in fucking eight years, but I

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Speaker 5: have a really strong gut feeling that everybody ever knew

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Speaker 5: during the seven years I lived there is going to

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Speaker 5: come out and support And I think that's going to

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Speaker 5: be pretty bomb too, Like you don't have to see

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Speaker 5: a bit in it years and you're gonna come.

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Speaker 4: Well, you're kind of unforgettable and lovable.

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Speaker 5: Thank you.

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Speaker 4: I love that. I love you too. Based on my Facebook,

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Speaker 4: it's talking. It's true. Somebody somebody messaged me like I'll

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Speaker 4: never forget that night.

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Speaker 5: I was like, oh shit, I was like, did I

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Speaker 5: sleep with it? Like, oh no, it's not good. But

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Speaker 5: I think it's gonna be awesome. I mean, at the

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Speaker 5: end of the day, we're all gonna be drunk. It's

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Speaker 5: at a bar our. DJ is gonna be really bombed. Actually,

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Speaker 5: DJ Tabone I used to work with him when I

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Speaker 5: worked at the Low's. He DJ'd in the lobby. But

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Speaker 5: randomly Erica met him, well, she lived there.

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Speaker 4: I met him at a bar, Like was I at

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Speaker 4: a bar.

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Speaker 1: I was at a bar, I was eating somewhere, and

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Speaker 1: I just like landed that day in Atlanta because I

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Speaker 1: was doing a movie and I didn't know anyone there

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Speaker 1: except like my cousin who claimed she lived in Atlanta,

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Speaker 1: but she lived in Peachtree City, which is like an

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Speaker 1: hour and half a way. It's like not convenient at all.

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Speaker 1: But I was in little five Points.

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Speaker 4: And we went.

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Speaker 1: I went to like a bar and like this guy

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Speaker 1: with like this hair. I just remember his hair was

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Speaker 1: like kind of tall. There was something going on with

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Speaker 1: his hair.

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Speaker 4: It's tall. It was tall. It was something, something was happening.

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Speaker 1: And he was like we just exchanged numbers, and like

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Speaker 1: he would send me music, like he would send me

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Speaker 1: stuff from his SoundCloud.

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Speaker 5: So wait, so today, as I'm making the newsletter, I

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Speaker 5: just put it in his SoundCloud.

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Speaker 4: But I was like, oh shit, okay, so he's still

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Speaker 4: popped popping Okay.

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Speaker 5: You know, Also that story like confirmed for me. I'm like,

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Speaker 5: this is so fucking divine. Like all the years I

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Speaker 5: lived in Atlanta. When I left Atlanta, I had no

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Speaker 5: clue that I'd be coming back to do a show

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Speaker 5: at my friend's bar, Like I've known my friend for

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Speaker 5: a long time. And then when I'm like, oh, I'm

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Speaker 5: gonna get my friend DJ to Bone to do it,

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Speaker 5: You're like that sounds so familiar, And I was like, damn,

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Speaker 5: this is so divine. Everything aligns just perfectly, Like even

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Speaker 5: if it's ten years in advance, you have no idea

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Speaker 5: what like spirit has in store for you in the future,

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Speaker 5: you know, like we have babies and like shit has changed,

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Speaker 5: but still so perfect.

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Speaker 4: So it's it's true. It's so true.

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Speaker 5: Even one of our listeners recommended a videographer that used

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Speaker 5: to be his student in second grade and he's a

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Speaker 5: videoographer for the show.

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Speaker 4: And I'm like, this is cool. And you know what,

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Speaker 4: that's another thing.

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Speaker 5: We have a like bomb ass network, not even friends

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Speaker 5: of like people we know, but even our internet friends

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Speaker 5: come through for us, Like we have somebody contributing to

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Speaker 5: our gift bag.

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Speaker 4: Shout out to you girl, Like it's just.

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Speaker 5: It's mad love And I'm I'm excited about that.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: So I'm I'm like so so so so excited, and

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Speaker 1: I can't wait to do it. I can't also can't

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Speaker 1: wait for it to be over.

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Speaker 4: We will be high for like five days.

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Speaker 1: I know, well after we do the show, a bitch

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Speaker 1: is getting lat out.

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Speaker 5: I already I already thought it in my head. I'm like,

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Speaker 5: get black out drunk, Like, don't get too black I remember.

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Speaker 4: I already told someone. I was like, I'm getting blacked

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Speaker 4: out half my back.

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Speaker 5: We're just gonna we've we've already somehow pre planned that

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Speaker 5: the after party is the strip.

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Speaker 4: Club for absolutely. We don't know what shop club. I

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Speaker 4: don't know.

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Speaker 1: We gotta find someone with the money we got. That's

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Speaker 1: like the only thing that needs to happen. Who has

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Speaker 1: the money, whoever is listening here, who's ever listening right now,

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Speaker 1: who lives in Atlanta, who's coming to our show?

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Speaker 4: We need you to secure the Daddy's the daddy with

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Speaker 4: the bag to take all of us all the good.

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Speaker 1: I know one of you motherfuckers know the nigga with

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Speaker 1: the bag, because whenever I went to Atlanta, I'll never forget.

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Speaker 1: Like when I was out there, my girlfriend Amber, she

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Speaker 1: was living out there for a while, and I met

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Speaker 1: up with her and she's like, yeah, we're gonna go out.

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Speaker 4: But first, you know, we got to meet up with

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Speaker 4: my friend, Oh my god, this is my life in Atlanta.

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Speaker 1: Used to go to meet up with my friend where

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Speaker 1: you have to go to dinner first, Yeah, and like

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Speaker 1: she's like he's not cute, but like we're gonna go

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Speaker 1: to the club. We're gonna go to the strip club

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Speaker 1: and it's gonna be bombed.

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Speaker 4: Don't worry.

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Speaker 1: You don't have to like, you don't don't have to

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Speaker 1: flirt with hi, because there's be o the niggas there

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Speaker 1: And we.

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Speaker 4: Get there and they I just remember we walked in

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Speaker 4: the bar.

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Speaker 1: We walked into this club and they each handed us

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Speaker 1: like yeah stack And I was like this life.

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Speaker 5: I sure hope Atlanta hasn't changed, because this is how

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Speaker 5: I remember it.

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Speaker 4: Like I was like walking down the street and like I.

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Speaker 6: Don't want to eat the cafeteria today niggas just pull

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Speaker 6: up like come eat.

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Speaker 5: We're like sure will My friends like we're never get

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Speaker 5: in the car with no stranger. He tossed us the

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Speaker 5: keys to his car and got in the car with

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Speaker 5: somebody who was behind him and let us follow him

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Speaker 5: in his car.

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Speaker 4: What I'm like, Yes, lord, that's amazing. Yeah, so that

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Speaker 4: can be hell of dates lined up in Atlanta. Period.

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Speaker 4: Got hell dates I do? I really did I have one?

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Speaker 4: I have a date? You're taking me on that date?

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Speaker 4: He doesn't. I don't care what.

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Speaker 1: He's already made the rest and the date is happening

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Speaker 1: on the on the day before the show.

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Speaker 4: SDK. There's we I come.

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Speaker 5: There's stuff we haven't done, like what like a sign

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Speaker 5: a sign like for behind us?

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, Well that's because we're waiting on some ship.

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Speaker 1: But we do need to yeah.

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Speaker 4: Like tomorrow.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, we just got to do it regardless of that

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Speaker 1: we need it right, yeah, or.

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Speaker 4: We could just take her handy dandy. We should bring

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Speaker 4: that to we would we read ships and stuff.

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Speaker 5: We do.

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Speaker 4: We need to ship some we.

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Speaker 1: Can some from yeah yeah, okay, sorry, we're making plans

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Speaker 1: on the podcast.

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Speaker 4: Okay, okay, podcasting everything. Every conversation Erica.

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Speaker 5: And I have somehow always goes back to work. We

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Speaker 5: don't have personal conversations after this show. It doesn't exist.

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Speaker 4: Are you good? And we probably do need to like go.

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Speaker 1: On like a non talking of work trip.

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Speaker 4: That's impossible, Erica, It's literally impossible.

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Speaker 5: I even't feel even sometimes feel bad when people are

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Speaker 5: around us because they're probably like.

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Speaker 4: Like, so we're just gonna talk about your podcast. Okay, yeah, yep, yeah, yep, yep.

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Speaker 4: You don't like, you don't care about it, You're not

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Speaker 4: my friend.

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Speaker 1: But you know what, I don't care because you know,

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Speaker 1: when we started this podcast, there was a lot of

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Speaker 1: people that didn't understand what we were doing. There are people

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Speaker 1: that didn't didn't like, didn't understand the vision, didn't support

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Speaker 1: the vision. And I didn't even know really what the

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Speaker 1: vision was. I just knew that it made me feel

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Speaker 1: good and that I needed it. And you know now

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Speaker 1: that like now that we've reached ten thousands, we finally

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Speaker 1: reached ten k on Instagram, ten point five actually ten

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Speaker 1: point five, and I'm just like, you know what, you can't.

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Speaker 4: Tell a bit shit. You can't tell me shill.

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Speaker 1: I have real, actual people that fuck with what the

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Speaker 1: fuck my vision was hereo, that what the fuck our

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Speaker 1: vision is, and that like would genuinely enjoy the community

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Speaker 1: that we've built.

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Speaker 5: And no shade, not a single paid like, not a

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Speaker 5: single paid follow, not a ghost sloop.

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Speaker 4: I don't know what the fuck that is. None of

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Speaker 4: that shit.

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Speaker 5: They will not be ten k and five likes, Okay,

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Speaker 5: because this ship is built from the ground up.

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Speaker 1: Yes, and it couldn't exist with that all these with

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Speaker 1: all of you guys that listen and support, support and

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Speaker 1: message us and share all your fucking business with us,

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Speaker 1: and like send nudes and send like really emotional shit

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Speaker 1: and funny ass shit and like fuck, it's like every

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Speaker 1: day me and she look a look at our shit

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Speaker 1: and we're like sharing, like oh my god, you see

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Speaker 1: the shit. This is fucking amazing, or oh my god,

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Speaker 1: this bitch is hilarious, or like that Nick is weird.

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Speaker 5: Right, or like damn, his dick is big, right. I mean,

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Speaker 5: it's literally like a family. I feel like I have

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Speaker 5: so much more family. Like the other day, one of

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Speaker 5: our listeners or followers whatever was messaging.

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Speaker 4: Me, but like she just work with her baby daddy.

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Speaker 5: She loves him so much, she has four kids, but

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Speaker 5: he keeps cheating and she just wants to forgive and forgive.

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Speaker 5: I'm like, boom, he ain't like either gonna be in

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Speaker 5: an open relationship or you gotta eccel. But I'm like,

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Speaker 5: so much deep deep shit you're telling me. And she's

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Speaker 5: in Africa. I'm just like, this is amazing. I'm giving

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Speaker 5: advice to my friend I've never met in Africa or

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Speaker 5: I've never even been Yeah, it is.

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Speaker 4: It is reassurance, and I don't I don't even know.

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Speaker 5: It's still really if we know what we're doing, I

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00:14:13,080 --> 00:14:15,360
Speaker 5: mean we do, but we don't. And every time somebody

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Speaker 5: asked me, I get so fucking irritated, like it's just growing.

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Speaker 4: Okay, so what are you gonna? It's growing? What's your ankle?

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Speaker 4: It's just growth? Fucking asking these kind of questions. Look, therapy.

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Speaker 4: This is therapy, Okay for everyone, it is.

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Speaker 5: I do feel like this is like my inside cancer weirdness,

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Speaker 5: like people doubt it, doubted us.

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Speaker 1: No, it's not your inside cancer weirdness. They did they have.

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Speaker 1: They're like, oh it's cute. Oh no, it's bigger than cute.

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Speaker 1: It's ten point five. Oh my goodness.

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Speaker 4: Anyway, enough about about us, our podcast, on our podcast,

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Speaker 4: what's going on? What's going on with you? Girl? What's that?

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Speaker 4: I've just been kind of stressed out.

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Speaker 5: I may not really but kind of, but just in

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Speaker 5: a weird journey I've been going. I forgot to get

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Speaker 5: the therapy to day because I forget to write shit

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Speaker 5: down because I'm slow. But I've never said this on

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Speaker 5: the podcast before. I don't know why I guess I

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Speaker 5: was embarrassed, but I don't really give a fuck. But

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Speaker 5: I've been staying with my mom for like six months.

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Speaker 5: I've moved out of my apartment to like save money,

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Speaker 5: which I haven't done, and that's super fucking stressful because

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Speaker 5: she stresses me the fuck out.

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Speaker 4: But I also, like, I feel.

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Speaker 5: Like maybe there's work that needs to be done, so

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Speaker 5: I'm trying to not like I'm trying to be gentle

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Speaker 5: with the situation, be gentle with her, and also like

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Speaker 5: there's nothing to be embarrassed about. I'm grateful to have

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Speaker 5: a mom I can stay with. Other people may.

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Speaker 4: Not have that option, you know, even if she gets

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Speaker 4: on my nerves.

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Speaker 5: But the fact that I, like, I have somewhere to

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Speaker 5: go if in the case, like shit hits the fan,

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Speaker 5: that's something to be grateful for.

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Speaker 4: And I think for a long time, I was like,

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Speaker 4: I'm thirty one, I'm staying with my mom.

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Speaker 5: I'm going on dates, not saying shit to people because

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Speaker 5: I'm like, I just don't want to. I mean, it's

355
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Speaker 5: nobody's business, but for anybody else listening, I realized recently,

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Speaker 5: like I can't be transparent with some stuff. I mean,

357
00:16:16,280 --> 00:16:18,200
Speaker 5: I could be untransparent with everyon the fuck I want.

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Speaker 5: But you know, a lot of people look at the

359
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Speaker 5: Internet and think everybody's life is perfect and nobody has

360
00:16:23,240 --> 00:16:28,040
Speaker 5: struggles and we're just happily podcasting and baby daddies are

361
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Speaker 5: just paying fucking it's child support on time, and everything's

362
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Speaker 5: fucking peachy keen.

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Speaker 4: And that's just really not the case.

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Speaker 5: You know, nobody knows what's going on in anyone's personal life.

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Speaker 4: That's what's going on in mind. That's what's been stressing

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Speaker 4: me the fuck out.

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Speaker 5: But most recently, my dad got back into town, which

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Speaker 5: makes this space even more cramped.

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Speaker 4: And do your mom and dad sleep in the same room? Yeah,

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Speaker 4: in the same bed. Mm do they like? I don't know?

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Speaker 4: Whoa WHOA? Calm the fuck down, Look, I don't know.

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Speaker 4: I don't know. If I thought you might not, why

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Speaker 4: I know, why would you even ask me? I'm sorry?

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Speaker 4: They do? They do the way your mom be acted.

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Speaker 4: She's getting fucked for real though, Yo, She's fucking fucked

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Speaker 4: and getting mad.

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Speaker 5: Seriously, speaking of that, today, I posted some really for

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Speaker 5: my nude post. This was a milder one. Erica took

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Speaker 5: it when we were in New York and I posted

380
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Speaker 5: it and like, I can't. I was about to post

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Speaker 5: another nude on ours today and as soon as I

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Speaker 5: was about to, like getting.

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Speaker 6: My caption together, and my dad's like, what's up? Why

384
00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:34,919
Speaker 6: the fuck you gotta post these pictures?

385
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Speaker 5: I'm like, oh my, how many naked pictures in my

386
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Speaker 5: whole life span of adulthood? Am I gonna have to

387
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Speaker 5: fucking answer about? So today I got home together like

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Speaker 5: tag teaming me about, like.

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Speaker 4: You're somebody's mother. I'm like, I know that. What does

390
00:17:49,280 --> 00:17:51,439
Speaker 4: that have to do with your car is dirty? I'm like,

391
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Speaker 4: what does that have to do with the nude? The

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Speaker 4: not nudes?

393
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Speaker 5: I'm like, first of all, I can't post nudes on

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Speaker 5: Facebook or Instagram. It's illegal, like flag you, I know,

395
00:18:00,040 --> 00:18:02,439
Speaker 5: oh they flagged me before. I'm like you guys are

396
00:18:02,440 --> 00:18:04,439
Speaker 5: acting like I'm doing fucking porn. It's like, how are

397
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Speaker 5: you gonna get a job?

398
00:18:05,160 --> 00:18:08,560
Speaker 4: I'm like, I'm not. Don't you get it, I'm not

399
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Speaker 4: getting a job. I'm like, what the fuck?

400
00:18:16,760 --> 00:18:19,320
Speaker 5: It's laughablet now, But I was getting fucking mad, like

401
00:18:19,359 --> 00:18:20,119
Speaker 5: people are texting me.

402
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Speaker 4: I'm like, fuck those people, they don't have lives. And also,

403
00:18:25,080 --> 00:18:27,320
Speaker 4: two weeks ago, my grandmother. Did I say this?

404
00:18:28,080 --> 00:18:30,360
Speaker 5: I tell people I don't remember, but he told me

405
00:18:30,560 --> 00:18:33,480
Speaker 5: this is my this is my family drama, my family.

406
00:18:33,640 --> 00:18:35,160
Speaker 5: I mean, my grandmother told my dad.

407
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Speaker 6: This bitch told me she's taking me off the insurance,

408
00:18:39,920 --> 00:18:43,560
Speaker 6: her life insurance because I keep posting pictures with my

409
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Speaker 6: dud's out.

410
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Speaker 4: I was perpleques. I'm like, I'm like, she's taking me

411
00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:54,720
Speaker 4: off of her life insurance. You don't you don't deserve it.

412
00:18:54,760 --> 00:18:55,520
Speaker 4: I don't deserve it.

413
00:18:55,560 --> 00:18:58,520
Speaker 5: Like fuck, my whole life is our granddaughter, Like that's

414
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Speaker 5: out the window.

415
00:19:00,040 --> 00:19:01,359
Speaker 4: Did she do it? I don't know.

416
00:19:01,400 --> 00:19:02,840
Speaker 5: I haven't called her because ever since I heard, she

417
00:19:02,840 --> 00:19:05,200
Speaker 5: didn't tell me directly. She told him then.

418
00:19:05,080 --> 00:19:07,680
Speaker 4: This this week, these motherfuckers want to come talking.

419
00:19:07,440 --> 00:19:09,640
Speaker 5: Shit about And then I told my mom. He said,

420
00:19:09,680 --> 00:19:11,040
Speaker 5: you know what I said. You know what, First of all,

421
00:19:11,080 --> 00:19:12,480
Speaker 5: my dad's not even on Facebook, so I know my

422
00:19:12,520 --> 00:19:13,280
Speaker 5: mom showed him.

423
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Speaker 4: So I'm like, I'm just gonna block you.

424
00:19:15,560 --> 00:19:18,720
Speaker 5: You're so disrespectful and then make you like try to guilt you.

425
00:19:18,720 --> 00:19:21,120
Speaker 5: You don't care, you don't care about how your mother feels,

426
00:19:21,200 --> 00:19:22,720
Speaker 5: you don't care about me, so you don't care about me?

427
00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:24,199
Speaker 4: And like, how did this go from me posting a

428
00:19:24,240 --> 00:19:26,520
Speaker 4: picture to me not caring. You went from the pictures

429
00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:29,399
Speaker 4: to the car to you don't care about him, you

430
00:19:29,400 --> 00:19:32,520
Speaker 4: don't care about them. I'm disrespectful, I'm a child.

431
00:19:32,640 --> 00:19:35,719
Speaker 1: I'm like, but the picture wasn't even like it's really

432
00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:38,160
Speaker 1: not actually like PG for.

433
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Speaker 5: Me at Mela Underscore Mapo. It is the one where

434
00:19:41,960 --> 00:19:43,359
Speaker 5: I'm holding my titties.

435
00:19:43,840 --> 00:19:45,160
Speaker 4: And it's a bridge in the background.

436
00:19:45,240 --> 00:19:47,000
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's very It's like it's the same thing you

437
00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:50,160
Speaker 5: could see in a bathing suit. Calm the fuck down,

438
00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:53,520
Speaker 5: and it just really and I've actually had an epiphany

439
00:19:53,520 --> 00:19:59,280
Speaker 5: this week about questioning myself and just like having people

440
00:19:59,320 --> 00:20:04,920
Speaker 5: around you that plant seeds of doubt in any aspect

441
00:20:04,920 --> 00:20:09,080
Speaker 5: of your personality, close people, family, Mama, I think that

442
00:20:09,160 --> 00:20:12,400
Speaker 5: it could really be deteriorate, Like it could really deteriorate.

443
00:20:13,040 --> 00:20:14,040
Speaker 4: That's not the interior.

444
00:20:14,320 --> 00:20:20,639
Speaker 5: No deteriorate, deteriorture, deter the trajectory of your life. Because

445
00:20:20,760 --> 00:20:24,240
Speaker 5: me being my authentic self, this is what I'm doing here,

446
00:20:24,359 --> 00:20:26,200
Speaker 5: this is my platform being myself.

447
00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:27,800
Speaker 4: Even if there's a titty in it, you know what

448
00:20:27,840 --> 00:20:31,320
Speaker 4: I'm saying, But that is that Tity on Patreon, tities

449
00:20:31,359 --> 00:20:35,800
Speaker 4: on Patreon. But I'm like, this is and then it

450
00:20:35,840 --> 00:20:38,000
Speaker 4: really has me second guessing everything in my life, like

451
00:20:38,080 --> 00:20:39,560
Speaker 4: am I? Am I a bad person?

452
00:20:39,760 --> 00:20:42,000
Speaker 5: Like is Luna gonna grow up one day and be

453
00:20:42,080 --> 00:20:44,600
Speaker 5: like that bitch and all her naked covered titties on

454
00:20:44,640 --> 00:20:45,560
Speaker 5: the Instagram?

455
00:20:45,920 --> 00:20:47,560
Speaker 4: And I'm like, am I gonna one day like ten

456
00:20:47,640 --> 00:20:48,960
Speaker 4: years from now, I need to get a job.

457
00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:52,119
Speaker 5: They're gonna like, oh, you know, I'm really sorry to

458
00:20:52,119 --> 00:20:54,040
Speaker 5: say this, but uh, we're not gonna be able to

459
00:20:54,119 --> 00:20:56,600
Speaker 5: let you take this job, this corporate drop because that

460
00:20:56,720 --> 00:20:58,000
Speaker 5: Instagram photo.

461
00:20:57,920 --> 00:20:59,840
Speaker 4: That one by the bridge. Yeah, And I'm like, am I,

462
00:21:00,520 --> 00:21:01,800
Speaker 4: But I'm like, this is exactly.

463
00:21:01,840 --> 00:21:04,240
Speaker 5: This is a test, because this is the epiphany I

464
00:21:04,240 --> 00:21:08,560
Speaker 5: had this week about really being secure.

465
00:21:08,280 --> 00:21:10,280
Speaker 4: In my decisions and who the fuck I am and

466
00:21:10,280 --> 00:21:12,520
Speaker 4: what my purpose is. And I do have a purpose.

467
00:21:12,600 --> 00:21:15,000
Speaker 5: And I'm like a sensual sexual ass being and I'm

468
00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:17,000
Speaker 5: tired of being shamed for it.

469
00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:20,600
Speaker 4: It's natural, it's my body, it's I'm not doing.

470
00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:25,000
Speaker 5: Porn poses spread eagle, you know, front page, centerfold, and it's.

471
00:21:24,840 --> 00:21:27,040
Speaker 4: Really not that big of a deal. But obviously they're old,

472
00:21:27,280 --> 00:21:29,360
Speaker 4: they're fat old, but they're older. They don't get it.

473
00:21:30,240 --> 00:21:31,719
Speaker 5: And some of my friends don't get it, and then

474
00:21:31,760 --> 00:21:33,959
Speaker 5: the same fucking age as me. But it's not for

475
00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:37,439
Speaker 5: anyone to get but me. I don't have to convince anyone.

476
00:21:37,480 --> 00:21:39,680
Speaker 5: I don't have to curse you out anyone, and I don't.

477
00:21:40,040 --> 00:21:43,400
Speaker 5: And I feel like I'm coming into myself because I'm realizing,

478
00:21:43,440 --> 00:21:44,840
Speaker 5: like I'm not taking it personal.

479
00:21:45,280 --> 00:21:47,960
Speaker 4: It's you. It makes you uncomfortable because you wouldn't do it.

480
00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:49,840
Speaker 4: But this is not about you. It's about me, and

481
00:21:51,320 --> 00:21:52,280
Speaker 4: that's it.

482
00:21:52,400 --> 00:21:55,880
Speaker 5: And Grandma, if you're taking me off, if you take

483
00:21:55,960 --> 00:21:58,280
Speaker 5: me off of that fucking life.

484
00:22:00,960 --> 00:22:04,200
Speaker 4: So you told me that ship, I could not stop laughing.

485
00:22:04,280 --> 00:22:06,479
Speaker 4: I was like, are my feelings are? It's kind of funny.

486
00:22:06,560 --> 00:22:09,879
Speaker 7: It's funny, but also like but then they told me

487
00:22:09,920 --> 00:22:15,080
Speaker 7: the amount, like for ten thousands, I'm like, not even

488
00:22:15,119 --> 00:22:17,840
Speaker 7: a hundred, Like you're taking me off for ten stacks.

489
00:22:18,040 --> 00:22:21,280
Speaker 4: Oh my god, that's better. Hope I don't you better?

490
00:22:21,320 --> 00:22:22,480
Speaker 4: Hope I don't blow up.

491
00:22:24,800 --> 00:22:27,600
Speaker 5: First of all, my grandmother is not fucking going anywhere

492
00:22:27,640 --> 00:22:30,919
Speaker 5: anytime soon. She's staying around to curse everybody else and

493
00:22:31,160 --> 00:22:31,840
Speaker 5: smoke more weed.

494
00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:37,480
Speaker 4: So no, maybe should have said that whatever she smokes weed. Yeah,

495
00:22:38,040 --> 00:22:42,680
Speaker 4: because Grandma's gonna listen and no, no, so I'd block everybody.

496
00:22:42,720 --> 00:22:48,639
Speaker 6: Basically, everybody's blocked, and if you have a problem with it,

497
00:22:48,720 --> 00:22:50,400
Speaker 6: you are asked, can get blocked too.

498
00:22:52,440 --> 00:22:55,840
Speaker 4: I mean, I think it's like, I don't know. I mean,

499
00:22:55,840 --> 00:22:59,600
Speaker 4: did you, oh you blocked? You blocked your mom?

500
00:22:59,680 --> 00:23:02,000
Speaker 1: I recause you know what I recently was on our page.

501
00:23:02,040 --> 00:23:03,320
Speaker 1: I went to go look at her page and I

502
00:23:03,480 --> 00:23:05,480
Speaker 1: was like, oh, that's there were no pictures.

503
00:23:05,119 --> 00:23:06,400
Speaker 4: On her page. Oh yeah, I forgot.

504
00:23:06,440 --> 00:23:08,720
Speaker 1: I want to And then I wonder sometimes because she

505
00:23:08,760 --> 00:23:11,439
Speaker 1: sees me post on my other page, and then I

506
00:23:11,440 --> 00:23:13,159
Speaker 1: wonder if she ever clicks to try to look and

507
00:23:13,600 --> 00:23:14,120
Speaker 1: that she's.

508
00:23:14,040 --> 00:23:17,679
Speaker 4: Locked, and she never says anything. She forgot to say something.

509
00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:18,480
Speaker 4: I don't know.

510
00:23:19,160 --> 00:23:22,919
Speaker 1: My mom doesn't forget much. I don't know, like for

511
00:23:23,040 --> 00:23:26,359
Speaker 1: me like that, like our bodies and like my body

512
00:23:26,440 --> 00:23:31,320
Speaker 1: posting naked, you know I post, I post not really

513
00:23:31,400 --> 00:23:32,120
Speaker 1: naked photos.

514
00:23:32,160 --> 00:23:34,280
Speaker 4: You can't post naked for whatever.

515
00:23:34,480 --> 00:23:37,440
Speaker 1: But I'm just saying, like the pictures that you post,

516
00:23:37,520 --> 00:23:39,199
Speaker 1: I wouldn't post, but I don't give a fuck that

517
00:23:39,240 --> 00:23:41,520
Speaker 1: you post them. I think that's who you are and

518
00:23:41,560 --> 00:23:42,320
Speaker 1: that's what you should be.

519
00:23:42,480 --> 00:23:43,040
Speaker 4: I see that.

520
00:23:43,280 --> 00:23:46,680
Speaker 1: I see the way the way the way Luna's how

521
00:23:46,720 --> 00:23:49,879
Speaker 1: free Luna is, and what an amazing daughter you're raising,

522
00:23:50,520 --> 00:23:56,399
Speaker 1: And your nudity on the internets or semi nudity isn't

523
00:23:56,480 --> 00:24:00,920
Speaker 1: going to make her a bless of an amazing little

524
00:24:00,920 --> 00:24:04,040
Speaker 1: girl or woman, you know. If anything, it's going to

525
00:24:04,119 --> 00:24:06,600
Speaker 1: empower her to see that her mom lived in her

526
00:24:06,640 --> 00:24:09,040
Speaker 1: full truth, you know, and that doesn't have to be

527
00:24:09,080 --> 00:24:10,920
Speaker 1: what Luna is either, right, and you.

528
00:24:10,880 --> 00:24:12,720
Speaker 5: Know, and I allow her to be her, and I

529
00:24:12,720 --> 00:24:14,439
Speaker 5: am allowed to be me and you're allowed to be you.

530
00:24:14,760 --> 00:24:16,400
Speaker 4: And that was I think that's what triggered me. She says.

531
00:24:16,520 --> 00:24:18,399
Speaker 5: They said something about my parenting, and I was like,

532
00:24:18,400 --> 00:24:20,240
Speaker 5: what the fuck does that have to do with my parenting?

533
00:24:20,400 --> 00:24:23,439
Speaker 5: Like I'm a great mom, Like Luna's fine, she's healthy,

534
00:24:23,520 --> 00:24:27,959
Speaker 5: she's thriving, she's smart. My naked pictures on fucking Instagram

535
00:24:28,080 --> 00:24:31,840
Speaker 5: are not affecting that, I think.

536
00:24:31,880 --> 00:24:34,120
Speaker 1: I mean, obviously, like the woman's body, it's always so

537
00:24:34,400 --> 00:24:37,639
Speaker 1: we've been sexualized so much. Everything is so sexual and

538
00:24:37,720 --> 00:24:40,200
Speaker 1: even if it is like so what if I feel

539
00:24:40,200 --> 00:24:42,120
Speaker 1: like being sexy or whatever the fuck.

540
00:24:42,119 --> 00:24:44,000
Speaker 4: You're bold or whatever?

541
00:24:44,119 --> 00:24:45,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, if it's if it's if it's in

542
00:24:45,880 --> 00:24:48,480
Speaker 1: an if it's in the right setting, then it's acceptable,

543
00:24:48,680 --> 00:24:50,119
Speaker 1: you know, if it's like an an.

544
00:24:50,080 --> 00:24:53,200
Speaker 4: Artistic, artsy like photo shoot. But I feel like most

545
00:24:53,240 --> 00:24:54,120
Speaker 4: of mine are pretty low.

546
00:24:55,000 --> 00:24:55,280
Speaker 2: They are.

547
00:24:55,359 --> 00:24:58,120
Speaker 4: But I just mean, like, if you're Madonna, then it's okay, right.

548
00:24:58,240 --> 00:25:00,000
Speaker 4: If I'm Rihanna, it's cool. Yeah.

549
00:25:00,119 --> 00:25:02,080
Speaker 1: Like if I'm getting paid a lot of money, then

550
00:25:02,200 --> 00:25:03,760
Speaker 1: then suddenly that's okay.

551
00:25:03,560 --> 00:25:04,720
Speaker 4: Right, No one's questioning it.

552
00:25:04,880 --> 00:25:06,840
Speaker 5: Yeah, right, Because if I was like a pop and

553
00:25:06,920 --> 00:25:09,000
Speaker 5: ass celebrity and I decided to do Playboy, no one

554
00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:10,040
Speaker 5: would think twice about it.

555
00:25:10,160 --> 00:25:13,399
Speaker 1: No, everyone that's doing Playboys totally being like even like

556
00:25:13,400 --> 00:25:15,800
Speaker 1: a Kylie Jenner to love people have problems with that.

557
00:25:15,840 --> 00:25:17,560
Speaker 1: Even I have a little bit of problem with not

558
00:25:17,600 --> 00:25:19,680
Speaker 1: a problem, but I just it's Kylie on Playboy.

559
00:25:19,920 --> 00:25:20,640
Speaker 4: She just a playboy.

560
00:25:20,680 --> 00:25:24,920
Speaker 1: She did recently Travis Scott, Travis, he's in it. He

561
00:25:25,440 --> 00:25:27,560
Speaker 1: like shot oh he didn't shoot it. He like interviewed

562
00:25:27,560 --> 00:25:30,000
Speaker 1: her and then like they were in it together. But

563
00:25:30,080 --> 00:25:31,760
Speaker 1: she's not really nude, she's not really new.

564
00:25:31,840 --> 00:25:33,640
Speaker 5: I mean, I mean, Playboys tastes a lot, and honestly

565
00:25:33,680 --> 00:25:36,080
Speaker 5: this sounds really strange, but as a child, that was

566
00:25:36,119 --> 00:25:38,320
Speaker 5: one of my goals in life. I wanted to be

567
00:25:38,320 --> 00:25:40,359
Speaker 5: in Playboy. And I mean not as a child, but

568
00:25:40,440 --> 00:25:42,960
Speaker 5: like as a teenager. I was like, I would definitely

569
00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:43,280
Speaker 5: do that.

570
00:25:43,400 --> 00:25:46,880
Speaker 4: I loved Playboy. I remember finding my ooh yawn.

571
00:25:47,040 --> 00:25:50,480
Speaker 1: I remember finding my dad's Playboys at a really young age.

572
00:25:50,480 --> 00:25:53,560
Speaker 1: My dad had a Playboy's subscription, so he had like

573
00:25:53,680 --> 00:25:57,120
Speaker 1: hundreds of Playboys under the sink in his downstairs bathroom,

574
00:25:57,160 --> 00:25:58,879
Speaker 1: and at night, I would go down there and like

575
00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:02,840
Speaker 1: look at all of them, and I was in awe

576
00:26:02,840 --> 00:26:05,679
Speaker 1: of those girls, Like there was something a naughty that

577
00:26:05,720 --> 00:26:07,080
Speaker 1: I knew I wasn't suposed to be looking at it.

578
00:26:07,119 --> 00:26:09,959
Speaker 4: But also I was like, wow, they're so beautiful. I'm bold,

579
00:26:10,160 --> 00:26:11,440
Speaker 4: and I guess that's true.

580
00:26:11,520 --> 00:26:13,879
Speaker 5: If I can think of my like teenage self or

581
00:26:14,640 --> 00:26:17,200
Speaker 5: and what appealed to me, it's still the same shit

582
00:26:17,240 --> 00:26:19,600
Speaker 5: that appeals to me now. If I see a woman

583
00:26:19,720 --> 00:26:22,320
Speaker 5: being bold and being comfortable and confident in her skin,

584
00:26:22,720 --> 00:26:25,440
Speaker 5: I appreciate that. So it's not like I've changed much.

585
00:26:25,480 --> 00:26:26,919
Speaker 5: That's why I think also irritates me.

586
00:26:27,600 --> 00:26:31,439
Speaker 1: I think for me, I have only become more bold

587
00:26:31,480 --> 00:26:35,240
Speaker 1: and confident in my thirties. Like I think I've always

588
00:26:35,280 --> 00:26:38,919
Speaker 1: been outspoken. I've always been like rebellious in certain ways,

589
00:26:38,960 --> 00:26:42,680
Speaker 1: but I've also been careful and like cared deeply about

590
00:26:43,080 --> 00:26:46,200
Speaker 1: you know what my mom thought about that, the decisions

591
00:26:46,240 --> 00:26:48,879
Speaker 1: that I've made I've made or I'm making, or the

592
00:26:48,920 --> 00:26:51,879
Speaker 1: way I'm looking, or because i I've been an actor

593
00:26:51,920 --> 00:26:54,720
Speaker 1: most of my life, I've just been like I've overthought

594
00:26:54,760 --> 00:26:57,919
Speaker 1: a lot of things. And honestly, this platform and like

595
00:26:58,440 --> 00:27:03,400
Speaker 1: I think motherhood, this plot form, just time age, not

596
00:27:03,680 --> 00:27:07,359
Speaker 1: just not having time to give a fuck, has really

597
00:27:07,400 --> 00:27:09,240
Speaker 1: made me feel like I'm going to do whatever the.

598
00:27:09,240 --> 00:27:09,800
Speaker 4: Fuck I want to do.

599
00:27:09,800 --> 00:27:11,679
Speaker 1: I even remember when we first started this podcast, like

600
00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:14,160
Speaker 1: us having me having to have conversations with you about

601
00:27:14,200 --> 00:27:16,640
Speaker 1: the things I couldn't couldn't could and could not talk about,

602
00:27:16,840 --> 00:27:18,639
Speaker 1: and like those things have kind of gone out the

603
00:27:18,640 --> 00:27:20,840
Speaker 1: window at this point because I'm like, you know what,

604
00:27:20,960 --> 00:27:23,640
Speaker 1: I don't at it's hard not even at one point

605
00:27:23,640 --> 00:27:24,680
Speaker 1: she's like, I think you're still had to do the

606
00:27:24,720 --> 00:27:25,760
Speaker 1: podcast with somebody else.

607
00:27:25,800 --> 00:27:27,720
Speaker 4: I'm like, no, bitch, I'm not.

608
00:27:29,200 --> 00:27:29,280
Speaker 2: No.

609
00:27:29,440 --> 00:27:31,800
Speaker 1: I think it was just like I was in, I

610
00:27:31,840 --> 00:27:35,760
Speaker 1: was I was navigating, I was I was in. I

611
00:27:35,840 --> 00:27:38,320
Speaker 1: was making a lot of decisions based out of fear,

612
00:27:38,400 --> 00:27:42,520
Speaker 1: fear of losing things, fear of not of not being understood,

613
00:27:43,400 --> 00:27:46,919
Speaker 1: and fear of being judged by people that I you know,

614
00:27:48,440 --> 00:27:50,040
Speaker 1: I I've.

615
00:27:50,640 --> 00:27:52,600
Speaker 4: You care about it, I care about their opinions.

616
00:27:53,160 --> 00:27:55,399
Speaker 1: But I'm at the point now where I'm like, I

617
00:27:55,400 --> 00:27:57,720
Speaker 1: don't really I mean, I still do care. I don't

618
00:27:57,720 --> 00:27:59,920
Speaker 1: want to say I don't give a fuck, but I

619
00:28:00,119 --> 00:28:03,239
Speaker 1: also have to live my life. And for me, like

620
00:28:03,320 --> 00:28:06,280
Speaker 1: you know, posting nudes, that's not like, that's not really

621
00:28:08,359 --> 00:28:10,159
Speaker 1: what I'm talking about when I pretend when I'm sick,

622
00:28:10,200 --> 00:28:11,480
Speaker 1: when I'm talking about this is more so like the

623
00:28:11,520 --> 00:28:13,760
Speaker 1: content of what we talk about, Like, yeah, I would

624
00:28:13,800 --> 00:28:15,800
Speaker 1: divulging things about our sex life.

625
00:28:15,680 --> 00:28:19,000
Speaker 5: Or I mean all the time I get anxiety about it, honestly,

626
00:28:19,080 --> 00:28:19,600
Speaker 5: Like but.

627
00:28:19,600 --> 00:28:20,400
Speaker 4: It's it's done.

628
00:28:20,440 --> 00:28:23,840
Speaker 1: But then but then it's like like the feedback that

629
00:28:23,880 --> 00:28:26,720
Speaker 1: we get from you guys, and like, wow, I'm so

630
00:28:26,760 --> 00:28:28,679
Speaker 1: glad you share that because I can relate to that.

631
00:28:28,680 --> 00:28:31,960
Speaker 1: That makes me feel like safe, right, that makes me

632
00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:34,320
Speaker 1: feel safe me too, That makes me feel secure and

633
00:28:34,359 --> 00:28:37,080
Speaker 1: like knowing that Okay, yeah, like it's.

634
00:28:36,960 --> 00:28:38,880
Speaker 4: Not really the big of a deal. Everybody has sex,

635
00:28:39,280 --> 00:28:41,080
Speaker 4: So what he like stuck on my toes?

636
00:28:41,360 --> 00:28:45,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, somebody sucked on my toes and you know, whatever

637
00:28:45,960 --> 00:28:47,440
Speaker 1: the fuck he did. If you have to, you have

638
00:28:47,440 --> 00:28:48,920
Speaker 1: to listen to that episode on our patreon.

639
00:28:49,160 --> 00:28:50,400
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, that is from Patreon.

640
00:28:51,160 --> 00:28:53,560
Speaker 1: By the way, I don't know if anyone knows that

641
00:28:53,560 --> 00:28:55,640
Speaker 1: we have a Patreon because we rarely talk about it,

642
00:28:56,000 --> 00:28:58,920
Speaker 1: but we have a patreon where we do extra episodes.

643
00:28:58,960 --> 00:28:59,480
Speaker 4: Every month.

644
00:29:00,080 --> 00:29:03,440
Speaker 5: Episode you get to see the episode and today I

645
00:29:03,480 --> 00:29:06,680
Speaker 5: flash a titty, so you see a titty today.

646
00:29:08,800 --> 00:29:11,480
Speaker 4: And we have some really funny episodes on there. We

647
00:29:11,560 --> 00:29:12,560
Speaker 4: do we do?

648
00:29:13,480 --> 00:29:15,560
Speaker 5: You know I thought when you said rebellious, I thought

649
00:29:15,560 --> 00:29:17,920
Speaker 5: about that today. I'm like, am I just rebellious?

650
00:29:18,240 --> 00:29:18,320
Speaker 1: Like?

651
00:29:18,400 --> 00:29:21,280
Speaker 4: Am I just like? Is it my ego? Not wanting

652
00:29:21,360 --> 00:29:22,240
Speaker 4: to compromise?

653
00:29:22,720 --> 00:29:24,719
Speaker 5: But first of all, this has been a conversation in

654
00:29:24,760 --> 00:29:29,160
Speaker 5: my life ongoing for a long time about like what

655
00:29:29,240 --> 00:29:32,080
Speaker 5: I want to wear. I like, I like see through shit?

656
00:29:32,440 --> 00:29:35,920
Speaker 5: Am I head on Rihanna? I do like like laces

657
00:29:35,960 --> 00:29:37,840
Speaker 5: to like see through things. Those are things that I like,

658
00:29:37,880 --> 00:29:40,680
Speaker 5: I'll gravitate towards in the store. And I've had comments

659
00:29:40,680 --> 00:29:44,880
Speaker 5: from people close to me and like recent most recently,

660
00:29:44,920 --> 00:29:46,880
Speaker 5: I'm kind of like, I'm not arguing with anybody, but

661
00:29:46,960 --> 00:29:48,479
Speaker 5: what the fuck it is? I want to do and

662
00:29:48,520 --> 00:29:51,160
Speaker 5: why because I know myself and I'm not like going

663
00:29:51,200 --> 00:29:52,720
Speaker 5: in the back smoking crystal fucking meth.

664
00:29:52,880 --> 00:29:54,640
Speaker 4: So everybody calm down, you know.

665
00:29:54,760 --> 00:29:56,600
Speaker 5: And I just and I thought about that today, like

666
00:29:56,720 --> 00:29:58,640
Speaker 5: am I just being selfish because I just won't take

667
00:29:58,640 --> 00:30:00,880
Speaker 5: it down? And I'm just like, it's not self it's

668
00:30:01,040 --> 00:30:04,280
Speaker 5: and my dad's like, you're stupid, and I'm like, no,

669
00:30:04,400 --> 00:30:04,680
Speaker 5: I'm not.

670
00:30:05,160 --> 00:30:07,200
Speaker 4: I'm not arguing. Oh I was arguing. I was like,

671
00:30:07,240 --> 00:30:08,200
Speaker 4: shut the fuck up. But I'm not.

672
00:30:08,280 --> 00:30:12,800
Speaker 5: Like, that's actually how we like communicate in my family,

673
00:30:12,840 --> 00:30:16,440
Speaker 5: which is probably not healthy, but it's just I have

674
00:30:16,480 --> 00:30:19,360
Speaker 5: a purpose, Like I feel how I feel about my

675
00:30:19,400 --> 00:30:21,440
Speaker 5: body in the moment, and that's just what it is.

676
00:30:21,720 --> 00:30:22,960
Speaker 4: And it's not about being rebellious.

677
00:30:23,000 --> 00:30:26,800
Speaker 5: They're not compromising for anyone, but I'm tired of feeling

678
00:30:26,920 --> 00:30:30,400
Speaker 5: like I have to compromise things for other people. And

679
00:30:30,480 --> 00:30:33,320
Speaker 5: I don't think that should navigate how you love me

680
00:30:33,640 --> 00:30:36,280
Speaker 5: or what your perception of me. It has nothing to

681
00:30:36,320 --> 00:30:39,479
Speaker 5: do with what's what's inside of my soul. And the

682
00:30:39,480 --> 00:30:41,479
Speaker 5: more that people press that on me, the more it

683
00:30:41,520 --> 00:30:42,800
Speaker 5: makes me rebel.

684
00:30:42,880 --> 00:30:45,000
Speaker 4: I mean a a rebel. Just be like, nah, I'm good.

685
00:30:46,040 --> 00:30:50,760
Speaker 4: You know we're what we're talking about. You are. You

686
00:30:50,840 --> 00:30:55,680
Speaker 4: are rebellious. It's all mine and that's are. But that's

687
00:30:55,680 --> 00:30:56,120
Speaker 4: who we are.

688
00:30:56,200 --> 00:30:59,040
Speaker 1: I think that's where like as parents, like we have

689
00:30:59,080 --> 00:31:01,719
Speaker 1: to be so careful because because like we really tried to.

690
00:31:02,280 --> 00:31:04,040
Speaker 4: I think our parents, you know, are a little more

691
00:31:04,080 --> 00:31:04,880
Speaker 4: old school too.

692
00:31:05,120 --> 00:31:09,479
Speaker 1: And it's like that shit wasn't popping back then. All

693
00:31:09,480 --> 00:31:12,480
Speaker 1: the internet didn't this, so like even posting a nude

694
00:31:12,600 --> 00:31:15,800
Speaker 1: is like wait what But I think like they.

695
00:31:17,120 --> 00:31:17,640
Speaker 4: They have an.

696
00:31:17,520 --> 00:31:19,360
Speaker 1: Idea of what we're supposed to be. They have an

697
00:31:19,400 --> 00:31:21,960
Speaker 1: idea of what's appropriate. Even like today, like I did

698
00:31:22,000 --> 00:31:25,800
Speaker 1: a shoot and and my mom was like, you know,

699
00:31:25,840 --> 00:31:28,640
Speaker 1: I want I want you. She's like, I'm going to

700
00:31:28,680 --> 00:31:30,520
Speaker 1: be dressed like a little more conservative and I want

701
00:31:30,520 --> 00:31:31,320
Speaker 1: you to be dressed sexy.

702
00:31:31,400 --> 00:31:33,720
Speaker 4: And I was like really, like I was shocked.

703
00:31:34,240 --> 00:31:39,800
Speaker 1: Oh okay, okay, shaka, you're not that blind, right, And

704
00:31:40,200 --> 00:31:42,320
Speaker 1: my titties were fully out pretty much, and I.

705
00:31:42,280 --> 00:31:42,840
Speaker 4: Was, what do you mean?

706
00:31:42,960 --> 00:31:44,880
Speaker 1: Like I had like I had this like very like

707
00:31:45,520 --> 00:31:48,280
Speaker 1: low cut top on like boob it was a boob

708
00:31:48,640 --> 00:31:49,480
Speaker 1: be and.

709
00:31:49,440 --> 00:31:50,840
Speaker 4: I've worn my boobs out before.

710
00:31:51,280 --> 00:31:53,640
Speaker 1: And she said something about it, like in a negative way,

711
00:31:53,720 --> 00:31:56,160
Speaker 1: like at an office, like that's inappropriate. But I'm like,

712
00:31:56,160 --> 00:31:59,479
Speaker 1: so it's appropriate here, but it's appropriate, it's inappropriate here,

713
00:31:59,640 --> 00:32:00,840
Speaker 1: but it's appropriate when it's.

714
00:32:00,960 --> 00:32:03,920
Speaker 4: When you when you give me permission, right, you know.

715
00:32:04,040 --> 00:32:06,280
Speaker 1: And it's like, I think that's what parent that's like,

716
00:32:06,320 --> 00:32:09,400
Speaker 1: that's still that like parenting thing where it's like they

717
00:32:09,440 --> 00:32:13,400
Speaker 1: still want to have somewhat of control over how they.

718
00:32:13,240 --> 00:32:16,160
Speaker 4: Want you to be perceived. And I think.

719
00:32:16,120 --> 00:32:18,120
Speaker 1: That's why and I and I and I was aware

720
00:32:18,160 --> 00:32:20,520
Speaker 1: of it today when she when I felt like she

721
00:32:20,600 --> 00:32:23,840
Speaker 1: was giving me permission to wear something that if I

722
00:32:23,840 --> 00:32:26,000
Speaker 1: would have worn it in any other time or place,

723
00:32:26,080 --> 00:32:27,960
Speaker 1: she would have maybe said something about it.

724
00:32:28,720 --> 00:32:30,760
Speaker 4: What kind of shoot? Was it just a regulation?

725
00:32:31,360 --> 00:32:33,600
Speaker 1: I feel like a shoot for like just like photos

726
00:32:33,640 --> 00:32:36,120
Speaker 1: for me and her to have for like events.

727
00:32:35,640 --> 00:32:36,720
Speaker 4: Like different things.

728
00:32:36,960 --> 00:32:41,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I thought about that, and I thought about like, wow,

729
00:32:41,160 --> 00:32:46,040
Speaker 1: what would I do, like how because don't like how

730
00:32:46,040 --> 00:32:48,760
Speaker 1: do I break that that habit?

731
00:32:49,280 --> 00:32:49,400
Speaker 2: Well?

732
00:32:49,520 --> 00:32:50,560
Speaker 4: How do I break that habit?

733
00:32:50,600 --> 00:32:54,880
Speaker 1: Because there are things that I think, like with Iri,

734
00:32:55,000 --> 00:32:55,959
Speaker 1: that I'm like, don't do that.

735
00:32:56,000 --> 00:33:00,320
Speaker 4: I don't like that. Then I'm like, is that are

736
00:33:00,480 --> 00:33:00,880
Speaker 4: for no?

737
00:33:00,920 --> 00:33:03,000
Speaker 1: I know, I know, I know of course, like they're

738
00:33:03,360 --> 00:33:05,200
Speaker 1: we're not faced with these issues yet.

739
00:33:05,240 --> 00:33:06,840
Speaker 4: Like if I wanted to walk around with.

740
00:33:07,520 --> 00:33:11,600
Speaker 1: Right right with her COUCHI out, you know, like and

741
00:33:11,720 --> 00:33:14,360
Speaker 1: nipples out, what I have something to say?

742
00:33:14,600 --> 00:33:15,720
Speaker 4: Yeah, I probably would.

743
00:33:15,880 --> 00:33:19,280
Speaker 5: Well, I think I think what's really cool about this

744
00:33:19,360 --> 00:33:21,520
Speaker 5: platform and us doing this is because even today in

745
00:33:21,560 --> 00:33:24,440
Speaker 5: our comp when I'm screaming at them like I'm in

746
00:33:24,520 --> 00:33:30,479
Speaker 5: twelfth fucking grade, I thought, I thought about Luna and

747
00:33:30,760 --> 00:33:33,800
Speaker 5: Are and what our dialogue would be in a similar situation,

748
00:33:33,920 --> 00:33:36,160
Speaker 5: and I'm like, this is not getting you anywhere, This

749
00:33:36,240 --> 00:33:38,640
Speaker 5: is not getting me to do shit, And I thought, like,

750
00:33:38,760 --> 00:33:40,000
Speaker 5: I wish you could just communicate.

751
00:33:40,200 --> 00:33:41,520
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's probably their approach.

752
00:33:41,680 --> 00:33:45,200
Speaker 5: Their approached like tell talking at me, telling me I'm stupid,

753
00:33:45,760 --> 00:33:49,640
Speaker 5: like I'm stupid because I posted a picture like I

754
00:33:49,720 --> 00:33:50,600
Speaker 5: and it made.

755
00:33:50,480 --> 00:33:52,120
Speaker 4: Me think, like how many times you call me stupid

756
00:33:52,160 --> 00:33:52,560
Speaker 4: in my life?

757
00:33:52,600 --> 00:33:54,600
Speaker 5: And at some point I started to believe that, you know,

758
00:33:54,720 --> 00:33:57,560
Speaker 5: and doubt myself, you know, doubt myself, and that's like

759
00:33:59,080 --> 00:34:04,000
Speaker 5: just just like just probably hardcore Philly communication. But it's

760
00:34:04,040 --> 00:34:06,160
Speaker 5: also it's also it could be detrimental.

761
00:34:06,320 --> 00:34:08,719
Speaker 4: Is that the right word. It's absolutely detrimental.

762
00:34:10,760 --> 00:34:16,880
Speaker 1: Maybe it's absolute, Well, I can, I can say absolutely,

763
00:34:16,960 --> 00:34:19,280
Speaker 1: it's absolutely detrimental.

764
00:34:19,400 --> 00:34:20,080
Speaker 4: Detrimental.

765
00:34:20,280 --> 00:34:22,640
Speaker 1: No, you should never tell your child stupid, no matter

766
00:34:22,719 --> 00:34:25,200
Speaker 1: what the fuck they're doing, especially if it's over a

767
00:34:25,239 --> 00:34:27,960
Speaker 1: picture that's not stupid. You just don't like that and

768
00:34:27,960 --> 00:34:30,120
Speaker 1: you don't agree with it. And maybe if they had,

769
00:34:30,200 --> 00:34:32,840
Speaker 1: maybe if they approached you a different way, you probably

770
00:34:32,880 --> 00:34:35,239
Speaker 1: still would not delete the picture, and you probably would

771
00:34:35,280 --> 00:34:37,880
Speaker 1: still be like, no, this is who I am, but

772
00:34:37,960 --> 00:34:41,160
Speaker 1: you might be able to at least the conversation not angry.

773
00:34:41,440 --> 00:34:44,120
Speaker 1: Maybe they would gain some perspective about why you could

774
00:34:44,120 --> 00:34:46,560
Speaker 1: be having this conversation with them like you're having with me.

775
00:34:47,719 --> 00:34:51,560
Speaker 4: Would they understand Maybe not, but maybe they would more so,

776
00:34:51,960 --> 00:34:53,680
Speaker 4: But they are not approaching it the right way.

777
00:34:53,719 --> 00:34:56,440
Speaker 5: And because it's always been an issue for me, I

778
00:34:56,520 --> 00:34:59,160
Speaker 5: think I do get defensive because my other friends tried to,

779
00:34:59,200 --> 00:35:01,680
Speaker 5: like annoying people close to me bring it up, because

780
00:35:01,680 --> 00:35:04,000
Speaker 5: it's like, if you know me, you absolutely know that

781
00:35:04,080 --> 00:35:07,040
Speaker 5: I prefer to be naked. I feel more comfortable naked.

782
00:35:07,040 --> 00:35:10,000
Speaker 5: I feel more comfortable being photographed naked than closed. I

783
00:35:10,040 --> 00:35:11,520
Speaker 5: feel weird, like I have to come up with poses

784
00:35:12,520 --> 00:35:15,920
Speaker 5: and I just and I thought about all those things,

785
00:35:15,920 --> 00:35:17,960
Speaker 5: like damn Luna's gonna be my age? What is how

786
00:35:18,040 --> 00:35:21,080
Speaker 5: is our communication going to be? And in this, in

787
00:35:21,120 --> 00:35:23,319
Speaker 5: this same scenario if she was, if she was in it,

788
00:35:23,400 --> 00:35:27,279
Speaker 5: what I feel like they feel and what I feel disrespected?

789
00:35:27,360 --> 00:35:29,080
Speaker 4: My mom was so mad that I blocked her. Girl.

790
00:35:29,560 --> 00:35:31,920
Speaker 4: How did she know? I said, I'm blocking you right now,

791
00:35:32,200 --> 00:35:36,400
Speaker 4: and then she must have checked and she's like, you

792
00:35:36,440 --> 00:35:39,200
Speaker 4: don't love me either, block me all the things I

793
00:35:39,239 --> 00:35:40,719
Speaker 4: do for you. I'm like, so you don't have to

794
00:35:40,719 --> 00:35:41,960
Speaker 4: see it? No I will.

795
00:35:42,080 --> 00:35:43,759
Speaker 5: You don't have to worry about it. If you won't

796
00:35:43,800 --> 00:35:44,960
Speaker 5: see it, you won't have access.

797
00:35:45,680 --> 00:35:46,560
Speaker 4: And I kind of.

798
00:35:46,520 --> 00:35:48,560
Speaker 5: She kinda made me feel bad about it, but I don't.

799
00:35:48,680 --> 00:35:49,520
Speaker 4: I mean, if we.

800
00:35:49,480 --> 00:35:53,160
Speaker 5: Can't have civil, respectful conversations about it.

801
00:35:53,400 --> 00:35:55,279
Speaker 4: Or like, how about just don't say shit? You know?

802
00:35:55,360 --> 00:35:57,440
Speaker 4: This is who I am. That's my biggest thing. That's

803
00:35:57,440 --> 00:35:57,919
Speaker 4: the thing too.

804
00:35:58,000 --> 00:36:02,440
Speaker 1: It's like I've been this way over and over and over.

805
00:36:02,800 --> 00:36:05,800
Speaker 1: How many more times are are you going to resist

806
00:36:06,000 --> 00:36:08,520
Speaker 1: who the fuck I am? This is who I am.

807
00:36:08,760 --> 00:36:11,839
Speaker 1: Your perspective is not changing it, it never has. Just

808
00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:14,400
Speaker 1: give in, just like you've had to give in to

809
00:36:14,480 --> 00:36:17,560
Speaker 1: who she is. When we've realized that our parents are

810
00:36:17,640 --> 00:36:20,080
Speaker 1: people and they're not perfect and they fuck up.

811
00:36:20,600 --> 00:36:23,600
Speaker 5: Like speaking of which, Speaking of which, So we have

812
00:36:23,640 --> 00:36:26,080
Speaker 5: all this conversation, all this argument, right, and I'm in

813
00:36:26,080 --> 00:36:27,799
Speaker 5: the next room and then I hear my fucking mom

814
00:36:28,000 --> 00:36:29,359
Speaker 5: they're telling me how immature I am.

815
00:36:29,640 --> 00:36:30,239
Speaker 4: And I hear my.

816
00:36:30,160 --> 00:36:32,680
Speaker 5: Mom like, my Dad's like, my phone's not working. She's like, well,

817
00:36:32,719 --> 00:36:34,319
Speaker 5: maybe have people blocked on there. Let me see, give

818
00:36:34,360 --> 00:36:35,839
Speaker 5: it to me I'll see. He's like, no, I got it.

819
00:36:35,840 --> 00:36:37,279
Speaker 5: She's like, let me see. I'm not trying to look

820
00:36:37,280 --> 00:36:38,839
Speaker 5: at your friones want to show you. He's like, no,

821
00:36:38,920 --> 00:36:40,680
Speaker 5: I got it. I'm like, you're trying to go through

822
00:36:40,680 --> 00:36:46,439
Speaker 5: this nigga's phone while calling me immature, Like you guys

823
00:36:46,440 --> 00:36:49,399
Speaker 5: are crazy. You My mom, first of all, don't want

824
00:36:49,480 --> 00:36:51,360
Speaker 5: my dad to go nowhere. If he could be like

825
00:36:51,480 --> 00:36:53,600
Speaker 5: I'm going downstairs, why where are you going? Who are

826
00:36:53,600 --> 00:36:55,280
Speaker 5: you going with? I'm going to see my friend?

827
00:36:55,480 --> 00:36:57,160
Speaker 4: Why who? Whatever?

828
00:36:57,239 --> 00:37:01,600
Speaker 5: Miles whatever. I'm like, but I'm in mature, okay. So

829
00:37:02,160 --> 00:37:03,640
Speaker 5: and then I just it just made me laugh. I'm like,

830
00:37:03,680 --> 00:37:06,000
Speaker 5: we thinkus are crazy? Well, I mean I think maybe

831
00:37:06,000 --> 00:37:06,720
Speaker 5: it's both ways.

832
00:37:06,760 --> 00:37:08,560
Speaker 1: Like you have to kind of accept that they're not

833
00:37:08,600 --> 00:37:10,400
Speaker 1: going to change that they're always going to take issue

834
00:37:10,440 --> 00:37:13,279
Speaker 1: with your boobs and whatever you do with them, and

835
00:37:14,400 --> 00:37:17,800
Speaker 1: maybe you find more they might they're never going.

836
00:37:17,600 --> 00:37:18,560
Speaker 4: To find peace with that.

837
00:37:19,000 --> 00:37:21,600
Speaker 1: So you have to find peace with yourself and knowing

838
00:37:21,640 --> 00:37:23,480
Speaker 1: that you can't react that way.

839
00:37:23,520 --> 00:37:25,640
Speaker 4: And that and that's really where I've been at recently.

840
00:37:25,680 --> 00:37:27,080
Speaker 4: I had a conversation with another.

841
00:37:26,840 --> 00:37:29,200
Speaker 5: Friend about some shit like this this last.

842
00:37:29,120 --> 00:37:30,480
Speaker 4: Month, and I'm just kind of over it.

843
00:37:30,520 --> 00:37:33,399
Speaker 5: I'm over everybody, and I'm actually, oh, I can't leave

844
00:37:33,400 --> 00:37:37,000
Speaker 5: my mom's house because I'm staying there. But you know,

845
00:37:37,120 --> 00:37:39,600
Speaker 5: I had another conversation with somebody that like rubbed me

846
00:37:39,600 --> 00:37:41,040
Speaker 5: the wrong way that I've known a long time, and

847
00:37:41,080 --> 00:37:42,600
Speaker 5: I was just like, I'm leaving.

848
00:37:44,040 --> 00:37:45,879
Speaker 4: I'm like, okay, well catch you later.

849
00:37:46,360 --> 00:37:48,320
Speaker 5: And then I had a conversation with myself because usually

850
00:37:48,320 --> 00:37:50,680
Speaker 5: in the past I could harbor some shit. Have you

851
00:37:50,680 --> 00:37:54,880
Speaker 5: ever like had an argument with somebody in your head? Yeah, Like, oh, like,

852
00:37:55,000 --> 00:37:57,319
Speaker 5: I'm like this fucking like I can get mad in

853
00:37:57,360 --> 00:38:00,200
Speaker 5: my remad remad, And I was just like, I'm going

854
00:38:00,239 --> 00:38:02,879
Speaker 5: to do that. I'm gonna let that be with you,

855
00:38:03,560 --> 00:38:06,719
Speaker 5: and I'm going to not take it personally because has

856
00:38:06,760 --> 00:38:09,239
Speaker 5: nothing to do with me. What I choose to do

857
00:38:09,280 --> 00:38:11,399
Speaker 5: has nothing to do with me, and so I'm just

858
00:38:11,440 --> 00:38:13,600
Speaker 5: I've decided like I'm not going to take things personally

859
00:38:13,719 --> 00:38:16,440
Speaker 5: or internalize things because it just makes me insecure. It

860
00:38:16,440 --> 00:38:19,120
Speaker 5: makes me overthink what the fuck I'm doing. And I'm

861
00:38:19,160 --> 00:38:21,760
Speaker 5: good at what I do. I take nice notes, Okay,

862
00:38:21,840 --> 00:38:24,319
Speaker 5: I cross out the titties real nice on the Instagram.

863
00:38:24,400 --> 00:38:27,440
Speaker 5: You know, it's for everybody's viewing pleasure. And if it

864
00:38:27,480 --> 00:38:31,000
Speaker 5: bothers you and follow me, and I'm not going to

865
00:38:31,040 --> 00:38:34,480
Speaker 5: be angry for anybody else because people who have issues

866
00:38:34,520 --> 00:38:36,960
Speaker 5: take issue with you, it's usually something reflective of what

867
00:38:37,040 --> 00:38:37,960
Speaker 5: they've experienced.

868
00:38:38,000 --> 00:38:40,200
Speaker 1: It's their al right, Like what if I hate that

869
00:38:40,280 --> 00:38:43,560
Speaker 1: you take, you always take the same motherfucking photo. I

870
00:38:43,640 --> 00:38:47,200
Speaker 1: hate that goddamn photo from the bottom looking up your nostrils.

871
00:38:47,280 --> 00:38:49,879
Speaker 1: That shit is whack. It irritates me. But I don't

872
00:38:49,880 --> 00:38:51,879
Speaker 1: fucking say shit. No, I don't say that. That ain't

873
00:38:51,880 --> 00:38:55,120
Speaker 1: tri angle bitch, that's not cute. As a matter of fact,

874
00:38:55,120 --> 00:38:57,759
Speaker 1: every time I see it, I get pissed. You know, No,

875
00:38:57,920 --> 00:38:59,600
Speaker 1: I don't say that, So get the fuck off my

876
00:38:59,680 --> 00:39:03,080
Speaker 1: gram and don't worry about my nipples period. You know,

877
00:39:03,239 --> 00:39:05,520
Speaker 1: It's like you're right, No, it totally is a reflect

878
00:39:05,680 --> 00:39:08,399
Speaker 1: for a reflection of of their.

879
00:39:08,320 --> 00:39:11,480
Speaker 4: Own shit, and they they don't understand, you know, and

880
00:39:11,719 --> 00:39:15,399
Speaker 4: you have to like just with the moment you.

881
00:39:15,400 --> 00:39:18,959
Speaker 1: Realize that not everyone is the same, Not everyone's gonna

882
00:39:18,960 --> 00:39:22,120
Speaker 1: make the same decisions as long as they're not hurting anyone,

883
00:39:22,200 --> 00:39:26,040
Speaker 1: They're not hurting you, you're not harming your child, Like.

884
00:39:26,360 --> 00:39:28,160
Speaker 4: Who fluckers hares?

885
00:39:28,520 --> 00:39:33,680
Speaker 1: Who fucking care short to be worried about whether I

886
00:39:33,719 --> 00:39:34,719
Speaker 1: posted a nude or not?

887
00:39:35,160 --> 00:39:37,359
Speaker 5: And it's really it's too short to be arguing with

888
00:39:37,440 --> 00:39:40,880
Speaker 5: you about it, like defending myself because I don't have to.

889
00:39:41,440 --> 00:39:46,440
Speaker 4: I'm a grown ass woman. So yeah, I'm like, we're

890
00:39:46,440 --> 00:39:47,279
Speaker 4: you gonna kick me out?

891
00:39:49,080 --> 00:39:53,040
Speaker 5: But yeah, I mean, it's just I just feel like

892
00:39:53,080 --> 00:39:56,120
Speaker 5: it's like, imagine, if I let someone continue to dim

893
00:39:56,160 --> 00:39:58,120
Speaker 5: me down and continue to make a question myself and

894
00:39:58,600 --> 00:40:01,239
Speaker 5: just be smaller and smaller, take up less space, it

895
00:40:01,280 --> 00:40:03,879
Speaker 5: could really like I could maybe not be here right

896
00:40:03,880 --> 00:40:07,520
Speaker 5: now with you having this conversation, too scared to discuss

897
00:40:07,840 --> 00:40:11,480
Speaker 5: you know, what's important to me, And I think honestly,

898
00:40:11,520 --> 00:40:13,239
Speaker 5: for both of us, I don't think we've realized that

899
00:40:13,360 --> 00:40:16,480
Speaker 5: like this is therapeutic because we're exercising our throat chakra,

900
00:40:16,640 --> 00:40:19,840
Speaker 5: you know, we're exercising speaking freely and letting certain energy

901
00:40:19,920 --> 00:40:24,080
Speaker 5: flow and being honest, and there's therapy in that. Like physically,

902
00:40:24,400 --> 00:40:28,000
Speaker 5: I think it's made me develop these skills to be like, oh,

903
00:40:28,040 --> 00:40:30,920
Speaker 5: this shit doesn't matter. Like my whole life, I've been

904
00:40:30,960 --> 00:40:33,160
Speaker 5: this way, but it's not till now at thirty one,

905
00:40:33,200 --> 00:40:36,759
Speaker 5: where I'm really realizing, like, this is my gift, my

906
00:40:36,800 --> 00:40:40,239
Speaker 5: titties and I'm kidding, this is my gift to be

907
00:40:40,880 --> 00:40:44,920
Speaker 5: in being completely aligned and authentic with myself and then

908
00:40:44,920 --> 00:40:47,200
Speaker 5: to deliver it to people and then you know, maybe

909
00:40:47,239 --> 00:40:50,040
Speaker 5: somewhere along the way I give someone something that they needed.

910
00:40:50,120 --> 00:40:52,719
Speaker 5: But if I allow anyone to tell me what I

911
00:40:52,719 --> 00:40:57,080
Speaker 5: should and should not do or speak, who would Jamilla be?

912
00:40:57,800 --> 00:40:58,400
Speaker 4: Not Jamala?

913
00:40:58,560 --> 00:40:58,719
Speaker 1: Right?

914
00:41:00,080 --> 00:41:06,440
Speaker 4: Jamila? Ja Jamila, Jamela, Jamala potato potato. You got you

915
00:41:06,440 --> 00:41:11,239
Speaker 4: got a new nickname? Send it in jam Lily lely. No,

916
00:41:11,440 --> 00:41:11,839
Speaker 4: I don't know.

917
00:41:11,960 --> 00:41:15,080
Speaker 5: My brother calls me Bella. When he was little. He

918
00:41:15,160 --> 00:41:17,880
Speaker 5: can say Jamela. He was like Bella. It was like Bella,

919
00:41:18,239 --> 00:41:21,520
Speaker 5: jam Mill, mills.

920
00:41:21,560 --> 00:41:26,000
Speaker 4: So many nicknames. Okay, what's anything going on with you

921
00:41:26,040 --> 00:41:26,680
Speaker 4: this week?

922
00:41:27,640 --> 00:41:28,000
Speaker 7: No?

923
00:41:28,520 --> 00:41:33,120
Speaker 4: Not really I mean no, nothing, huge nothing. I'm trying

924
00:41:33,160 --> 00:41:38,200
Speaker 4: to think. Oh, I mean nothing, no, nothing that I

925
00:41:38,200 --> 00:41:41,080
Speaker 4: feel like it's gonna say this pressing right, it's worth

926
00:41:41,120 --> 00:41:41,720
Speaker 4: my energy.

927
00:41:45,200 --> 00:41:53,840
Speaker 5: No, okay, no, no, I Me and Erica are hosting

928
00:41:53,880 --> 00:41:57,520
Speaker 5: a Witchy Dinner and Manifestation meal on Sunday because we're

929
00:41:57,560 --> 00:41:58,560
Speaker 5: smart and decided to have.

930
00:41:58,560 --> 00:42:02,440
Speaker 4: An event right before really just in case we'd have

931
00:42:02,520 --> 00:42:05,160
Speaker 4: enough stress. Yeah, they're like, well, let's do something special.

932
00:42:05,400 --> 00:42:07,440
Speaker 4: But you know what I will say about that. I

933
00:42:07,480 --> 00:42:08,080
Speaker 4: think that.

934
00:42:08,080 --> 00:42:10,200
Speaker 5: We do no matter what we do, no matter how

935
00:42:10,239 --> 00:42:12,359
Speaker 5: many things we put on our plate, will make it

936
00:42:12,400 --> 00:42:16,000
Speaker 5: happen sometimes, so sometimes it's better like to just put

937
00:42:16,080 --> 00:42:17,680
Speaker 5: it out there and then we have to commit or

938
00:42:17,680 --> 00:42:19,960
Speaker 5: else we'll be like eight.

939
00:42:19,760 --> 00:42:22,799
Speaker 4: Months to another live show. No, it's true, it's true.

940
00:42:22,800 --> 00:42:25,279
Speaker 4: We pull shit together. We sure do. We do that.

941
00:42:25,360 --> 00:42:29,600
Speaker 4: We do that. I have stayed fully invested in this dinner.

942
00:42:30,120 --> 00:42:32,560
Speaker 1: At first, I was jealous that I just wasn't a

943
00:42:32,560 --> 00:42:34,400
Speaker 1: part of it, and now I'm so glad that I'm not.

944
00:42:34,480 --> 00:42:36,680
Speaker 1: I'm like, you know what, you and Anisia handle that ship.

945
00:42:37,040 --> 00:42:39,040
Speaker 4: I mean, on Sunday, we'll figure it out. It'll be fun.

946
00:42:40,520 --> 00:42:42,320
Speaker 4: That's that's that's all, what do you what do you

947
00:42:42,360 --> 00:42:45,319
Speaker 4: want to manifest? A successful show?

948
00:42:47,560 --> 00:42:52,640
Speaker 5: So money, Yeah, that's pretty much money, more shows, to

949
00:42:52,680 --> 00:42:54,120
Speaker 5: blow the fuck up, baby.

950
00:42:53,840 --> 00:42:55,440
Speaker 4: Baby, baby baby.

951
00:42:56,920 --> 00:43:01,760
Speaker 6: That's really mostly yeah, just to be the better version

952
00:43:01,800 --> 00:43:07,120
Speaker 6: of myself and to continue to be growing and loving

953
00:43:07,160 --> 00:43:09,520
Speaker 6: on myself and making more money and getting the fuck

954
00:43:09,560 --> 00:43:10,920
Speaker 6: out of my mom's house if she can't tell me

955
00:43:10,960 --> 00:43:11,680
Speaker 6: about my nids.

956
00:43:11,520 --> 00:43:16,120
Speaker 5: On Facebook, and having a really live ass even more

957
00:43:16,160 --> 00:43:18,759
Speaker 5: successful show than the first one, to kind of like

958
00:43:19,920 --> 00:43:21,560
Speaker 5: snowball into the next thing.

959
00:43:23,400 --> 00:43:26,960
Speaker 1: What are you manifesting the same, manifesting an amazing show

960
00:43:27,040 --> 00:43:27,480
Speaker 1: and more.

961
00:43:28,800 --> 00:43:35,200
Speaker 4: I think also I just want to, like I really

962
00:43:35,640 --> 00:43:36,560
Speaker 4: want to.

963
00:43:37,040 --> 00:43:40,760
Speaker 1: I've been like working more and more towards the comfort

964
00:43:40,800 --> 00:43:44,640
Speaker 1: of the loneliness, and just I want to keep manifesting that.

965
00:43:45,040 --> 00:43:49,880
Speaker 1: I don't know strength, it's strength, strength and comfortability of

966
00:43:50,000 --> 00:43:50,799
Speaker 1: just doing that.

967
00:43:52,440 --> 00:43:54,920
Speaker 4: And letting go of.

968
00:43:56,880 --> 00:44:00,440
Speaker 1: The past and like letting you say that, letting it

969
00:44:00,480 --> 00:44:03,200
Speaker 1: go because I haven't fully.

970
00:44:03,320 --> 00:44:05,279
Speaker 4: I mean I have in a lot of ways, but.

971
00:44:05,560 --> 00:44:08,840
Speaker 1: I haven't fully, and it's time.

972
00:44:09,719 --> 00:44:11,319
Speaker 4: It's time. There's so weak.

973
00:44:11,400 --> 00:44:15,560
Speaker 1: I have so many amazing things happening in my life.

974
00:44:15,719 --> 00:44:19,360
Speaker 1: I have my daughter is amazing and doing so well.

975
00:44:20,320 --> 00:44:24,680
Speaker 1: And this is doing so well. I'm doing great at work.

976
00:44:25,239 --> 00:44:28,279
Speaker 1: I feel more confident than ever and I feel like

977
00:44:28,360 --> 00:44:32,680
Speaker 1: that's like that last like hanging fruit that really I know,

978
00:44:32,760 --> 00:44:35,239
Speaker 1: but I think, I mean, I know it takes time, yeah,

979
00:44:35,280 --> 00:44:36,719
Speaker 1: and I'm trying to be patient, but like and.

980
00:44:36,680 --> 00:44:38,759
Speaker 5: A piece of people always go there, a piece of

981
00:44:38,840 --> 00:44:40,680
Speaker 5: you can always live there. So I feel like life

982
00:44:40,719 --> 00:44:42,920
Speaker 5: isn't linear, and there's if we sit back and think

983
00:44:42,920 --> 00:44:44,680
Speaker 5: about a time in our life, we can we can

984
00:44:44,920 --> 00:44:48,000
Speaker 5: all those feelings, all that wherever placement we were that

985
00:44:48,040 --> 00:44:50,399
Speaker 5: can we can relive that. But it's about being able

986
00:44:50,480 --> 00:44:54,200
Speaker 5: to like detach from it and not like make it

987
00:44:54,239 --> 00:44:56,440
Speaker 5: make you sad or you know what I mean.

988
00:44:56,560 --> 00:45:00,319
Speaker 1: Now, I also, yeah, there's that, but also I want

989
00:45:00,320 --> 00:45:04,880
Speaker 1: to manifest just a more like just abundance in my life.

990
00:45:04,960 --> 00:45:08,080
Speaker 1: And I mean that in so many ways, Like I

991
00:45:08,160 --> 00:45:14,000
Speaker 1: mean that in like money, hell yeah, like having multiple

992
00:45:14,000 --> 00:45:16,720
Speaker 1: streams of income because you know, they say the richest

993
00:45:16,760 --> 00:45:18,359
Speaker 1: people in the world have seven streams of.

994
00:45:18,280 --> 00:45:22,960
Speaker 4: Income, creating more space.

995
00:45:23,440 --> 00:45:25,239
Speaker 1: Like I were so busy and I don't want that

996
00:45:25,320 --> 00:45:27,959
Speaker 1: to stop, but like being able to manage my time

997
00:45:28,040 --> 00:45:31,440
Speaker 1: better because I'm not that great at that, you know.

998
00:45:31,560 --> 00:45:34,920
Speaker 1: Actually recently, you know, I've like I haven't really been

999
00:45:34,960 --> 00:45:40,480
Speaker 1: able to devote a lot of time to you know, people.

1000
00:45:40,200 --> 00:45:40,720
Speaker 4: In my life.

1001
00:45:41,880 --> 00:45:43,480
Speaker 1: And like I've said this, like I don't know, do

1002
00:45:43,560 --> 00:45:44,920
Speaker 1: we talk about this before. I don't know, Like I

1003
00:45:44,960 --> 00:45:47,799
Speaker 1: think sometimes people think like me and you are just

1004
00:45:47,800 --> 00:45:50,000
Speaker 1: like hanging out all the time, just like people.

1005
00:45:49,800 --> 00:45:53,240
Speaker 5: Are jealous if our bomb ass weren't slash best friendship.

1006
00:45:53,320 --> 00:45:56,080
Speaker 1: But I mean like they don't really understand that, yeah,

1007
00:45:56,080 --> 00:45:58,200
Speaker 1: we are hanging out, but like we are working.

1008
00:45:58,480 --> 00:46:01,080
Speaker 4: Yeah ninety nine nine percent of the time. I feel

1009
00:46:01,080 --> 00:46:02,600
Speaker 4: like people think this is a hobby.

1010
00:46:03,920 --> 00:46:07,719
Speaker 1: And if they saw this fucking raport I'm looking at

1011
00:46:07,760 --> 00:46:08,719
Speaker 1: right now, they would know it's not.

1012
00:46:09,640 --> 00:46:10,960
Speaker 5: Let me take a picture of our drivey for race

1013
00:46:10,960 --> 00:46:13,320
Speaker 5: sports better better make you understand.

1014
00:46:14,280 --> 00:46:16,799
Speaker 1: But but like recently, I had a friend of mine

1015
00:46:16,800 --> 00:46:19,560
Speaker 1: who reached out to me, who I've known for a while,

1016
00:46:19,640 --> 00:46:21,520
Speaker 1: and he moved out here from New York with his

1017
00:46:22,320 --> 00:46:23,799
Speaker 1: wife or they I don't know if they're married, but

1018
00:46:23,800 --> 00:46:27,560
Speaker 1: they're essentially married. And he's like a great person. I

1019
00:46:27,600 --> 00:46:29,600
Speaker 1: love him dearly, and like when he moved out here,

1020
00:46:29,600 --> 00:46:31,000
Speaker 1: he told him that, like I was going to be

1021
00:46:31,080 --> 00:46:34,040
Speaker 1: there for him, right and I haven't been, and it's

1022
00:46:34,080 --> 00:46:36,520
Speaker 1: just and it's not because I don't want to. It's honestly,

1023
00:46:36,560 --> 00:46:38,080
Speaker 1: you know, when you get in like the rhythm of

1024
00:46:38,120 --> 00:46:41,719
Speaker 1: your life, you get in like these like you have

1025
00:46:42,160 --> 00:46:44,600
Speaker 1: not a schedule, but like you have like a routine,

1026
00:46:44,760 --> 00:46:47,359
Speaker 1: and sometimes like you get so caught up in that

1027
00:46:47,440 --> 00:46:49,360
Speaker 1: and like you're so focused on things that you forget

1028
00:46:49,360 --> 00:46:51,279
Speaker 1: about like oh shit, you live here.

1029
00:46:51,360 --> 00:46:51,640
Speaker 4: Fuck.

1030
00:46:52,840 --> 00:46:54,560
Speaker 1: And so he recently reached out to me and I

1031
00:46:54,600 --> 00:46:57,799
Speaker 1: was like, yeah. He was like, you want to come

1032
00:46:57,840 --> 00:47:00,480
Speaker 1: to my son's birthday party. I was like, you know what,

1033
00:47:00,520 --> 00:47:02,759
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry. I have not been a good friend

1034
00:47:02,800 --> 00:47:04,399
Speaker 1: to you. I have not been there for you.

1035
00:47:04,560 --> 00:47:06,600
Speaker 4: I have not hung out with you. I have not

1036
00:47:06,800 --> 00:47:07,279
Speaker 4: called you.

1037
00:47:08,760 --> 00:47:12,239
Speaker 1: And he was like it's cool, I understand. And I

1038
00:47:12,280 --> 00:47:13,440
Speaker 1: was like, I don't think I'm gonna be able to

1039
00:47:13,480 --> 00:47:15,560
Speaker 1: make his birthday party, but like, let's try to hang

1040
00:47:15,560 --> 00:47:17,640
Speaker 1: out another day. So we didn't get to hang out.

1041
00:47:17,680 --> 00:47:19,239
Speaker 1: I did obviously, I didn't make He's a birthday party.

1042
00:47:19,239 --> 00:47:19,839
Speaker 4: We didn't get to.

1043
00:47:19,760 --> 00:47:23,279
Speaker 1: Hang out, and then we made another I told him

1044
00:47:23,280 --> 00:47:25,759
Speaker 1: we can make hang out the next week. I ended

1045
00:47:25,800 --> 00:47:27,440
Speaker 1: up getting sick. I didn't hit him up.

1046
00:47:27,480 --> 00:47:28,280
Speaker 4: I didn't cancel.

1047
00:47:28,360 --> 00:47:29,920
Speaker 1: I didn't tell him, and then I reached out to

1048
00:47:30,000 --> 00:47:31,960
Speaker 1: him the next day and said, I apologize, And then

1049
00:47:32,000 --> 00:47:34,760
Speaker 1: he told me, like, you know, I realize you're busy,

1050
00:47:35,160 --> 00:47:38,080
Speaker 1: but like you know, I have a schedule too, and

1051
00:47:38,360 --> 00:47:40,960
Speaker 1: you know, I have a wife and I have kids,

1052
00:47:41,560 --> 00:47:43,239
Speaker 1: and you could have at least reached out to me

1053
00:47:43,400 --> 00:47:47,840
Speaker 1: and said you're busy. It seems like you're spreading yourself

1054
00:47:47,840 --> 00:47:49,759
Speaker 1: reallye thin, and I don't want to be part of

1055
00:47:49,800 --> 00:47:52,239
Speaker 1: your stress, so you can reach out to me when

1056
00:47:52,280 --> 00:47:55,840
Speaker 1: you want. And I felt so bad, like because he

1057
00:47:55,920 --> 00:47:59,279
Speaker 1: was so like he knew exactly how to like make me,

1058
00:47:59,480 --> 00:48:01,400
Speaker 1: not make me feel like I felt guilty because I

1059
00:48:01,520 --> 00:48:02,640
Speaker 1: felt guilty because.

1060
00:48:02,440 --> 00:48:04,959
Speaker 4: Of just this. You forgot to tell me you weren't coming.

1061
00:48:05,680 --> 00:48:10,000
Speaker 5: I just like I never followed up, and I get that,

1062
00:48:10,120 --> 00:48:12,239
Speaker 5: but like, can you imagine would you send a text

1063
00:48:12,239 --> 00:48:12,440
Speaker 5: like that?

1064
00:48:14,200 --> 00:48:17,959
Speaker 1: Maybe I wasn't mad at he was one hundred percent

1065
00:48:18,120 --> 00:48:22,120
Speaker 1: rrectka for sending it to me. I just felt like, damn,

1066
00:48:22,200 --> 00:48:26,080
Speaker 1: someone called me out right, you know, and I'm like, damn,

1067
00:48:26,120 --> 00:48:27,719
Speaker 1: I and I told him, I wrote back, I'm like,

1068
00:48:27,760 --> 00:48:29,839
Speaker 1: you're right, I am spreading myself too thin, and I'm

1069
00:48:29,840 --> 00:48:31,520
Speaker 1: sorry that I missed that, and like, we can hang

1070
00:48:31,560 --> 00:48:34,040
Speaker 1: out next week, but I don't think you want to.

1071
00:48:34,960 --> 00:48:37,880
Speaker 1: But I'll circle back when I when I have more time.

1072
00:48:38,080 --> 00:48:40,399
Speaker 1: And like, you know, like my friend just my friend

1073
00:48:40,440 --> 00:48:42,359
Speaker 1: has a baby and I haven't really been there for her,

1074
00:48:42,560 --> 00:48:44,600
Speaker 1: Like there's multiple people that it's not because they don't

1075
00:48:44,600 --> 00:48:47,480
Speaker 1: want to, it's just I'm so focused and that's not

1076
00:48:47,520 --> 00:48:48,400
Speaker 1: always an excuse.

1077
00:48:48,680 --> 00:48:51,040
Speaker 4: So I but I want I have to figure out

1078
00:48:51,040 --> 00:48:52,880
Speaker 4: how to make more space.

1079
00:48:53,400 --> 00:48:55,960
Speaker 5: Well, I think because we're focused on the same thing

1080
00:48:56,000 --> 00:48:58,000
Speaker 5: a lot of the time, which is like all the time.

1081
00:48:58,200 --> 00:49:00,439
Speaker 5: I think because I thought about that Lunas saying shit

1082
00:49:00,440 --> 00:49:02,839
Speaker 5: to me, I'm always working on my phone and I'm like, damn,

1083
00:49:02,880 --> 00:49:05,560
Speaker 5: she can call me out. But also I realized that,

1084
00:49:05,680 --> 00:49:08,080
Speaker 5: like I don't intend on this being the hustle forever.

1085
00:49:08,120 --> 00:49:10,759
Speaker 5: I don't intend on us too, being the whole motherfucking

1086
00:49:10,840 --> 00:49:13,000
Speaker 5: team forever, you know what I mean. And I feel

1087
00:49:13,000 --> 00:49:17,200
Speaker 5: like we both know that we're working like this to

1088
00:49:17,239 --> 00:49:20,080
Speaker 5: get to a certain point so that we do have

1089
00:49:20,280 --> 00:49:23,880
Speaker 5: like it, we have space to be like, Okay, we've

1090
00:49:24,040 --> 00:49:27,200
Speaker 5: built this up to here, and now we can better

1091
00:49:27,400 --> 00:49:28,240
Speaker 5: manage our time.

1092
00:49:28,680 --> 00:49:30,399
Speaker 4: I feel like that's what I tell myself. No, No,

1093
00:49:30,480 --> 00:49:31,719
Speaker 4: I think, and I think that's true.

1094
00:49:31,760 --> 00:49:33,879
Speaker 1: I think if you talk to any person that has

1095
00:49:33,880 --> 00:49:36,040
Speaker 1: a successful business, they tell you that there was a

1096
00:49:36,040 --> 00:49:37,919
Speaker 1: lot of sacrifices they had to make to get here,

1097
00:49:38,040 --> 00:49:40,160
Speaker 1: and a lot of those sacrifices were time with people

1098
00:49:40,239 --> 00:49:44,719
Speaker 1: they love, you know, kids, friends, whatever it may be, themselves,

1099
00:49:45,400 --> 00:49:45,640
Speaker 1: you know.

1100
00:49:45,960 --> 00:49:48,719
Speaker 4: And I feel like that we're in the.

1101
00:49:48,640 --> 00:49:51,080
Speaker 1: Thick of that right now, and I'm experiencing a lot

1102
00:49:51,120 --> 00:49:54,840
Speaker 1: of guilt all around, like from in the friend department,

1103
00:49:55,160 --> 00:49:57,600
Speaker 1: in the kid department, Like even with Iri, I've been

1104
00:49:57,640 --> 00:50:01,719
Speaker 1: feeling like super guilty because I literally she comes home

1105
00:50:01,719 --> 00:50:04,760
Speaker 1: from school, I'm working with you. I feed her dinner

1106
00:50:05,040 --> 00:50:06,840
Speaker 1: in the other room. I barely even sit with her.

1107
00:50:06,920 --> 00:50:08,799
Speaker 1: I just put the TV on and then it's time

1108
00:50:08,840 --> 00:50:10,640
Speaker 1: for bed, and then I haven't even hung out with her.

1109
00:50:10,680 --> 00:50:12,279
Speaker 4: And I've been doing that for like two or three

1110
00:50:12,280 --> 00:50:14,600
Speaker 4: weeks straight. No, I know. And it's like and then

1111
00:50:14,600 --> 00:50:16,279
Speaker 4: we feel like, you're here, we can see you guys

1112
00:50:16,280 --> 00:50:17,840
Speaker 4: are playing with each other. It's fine.

1113
00:50:18,000 --> 00:50:19,960
Speaker 1: And that's why I'm always like, keep bring Luna please,

1114
00:50:20,120 --> 00:50:21,280
Speaker 1: because I feel bad.

1115
00:50:21,520 --> 00:50:23,799
Speaker 4: Yeah, and.

1116
00:50:25,239 --> 00:50:27,440
Speaker 1: She probably won't remember these times, and maybe she will,

1117
00:50:27,520 --> 00:50:29,680
Speaker 1: maybe there will be times that she's on that. It's

1118
00:50:29,680 --> 00:50:31,279
Speaker 1: just at that age now, both of our kids are

1119
00:50:31,320 --> 00:50:32,680
Speaker 1: at that age where they do remember.

1120
00:50:33,000 --> 00:50:34,200
Speaker 4: But I do want her to look.

1121
00:50:34,800 --> 00:50:36,839
Speaker 1: What I keep telling myself is that I would rather

1122
00:50:37,400 --> 00:50:42,120
Speaker 1: her see me grinding at something that I'm passionate about

1123
00:50:42,520 --> 00:50:44,880
Speaker 1: and see me working than not and sitting on that

1124
00:50:44,960 --> 00:50:49,520
Speaker 1: couch with her unhappy, right and not even present over

1125
00:50:49,560 --> 00:50:53,080
Speaker 1: there too, sitting there with dinner, watching cartoons with her,

1126
00:50:53,320 --> 00:50:55,920
Speaker 1: but depressed. Because that's kind of where I was before

1127
00:50:56,600 --> 00:51:00,279
Speaker 1: before this, not knowing what my purpose was, not knowing

1128
00:51:00,280 --> 00:51:02,040
Speaker 1: what I was doing, not even knowing like what makes

1129
00:51:02,080 --> 00:51:03,360
Speaker 1: me really truly makes me happy.

1130
00:51:03,960 --> 00:51:06,640
Speaker 4: And that's what I keep telling these That's what I

1131
00:51:06,719 --> 00:51:07,360
Speaker 4: keep telling myself.

1132
00:51:07,360 --> 00:51:09,919
Speaker 1: I mean, that's true, but I still feel like there

1133
00:51:10,000 --> 00:51:12,680
Speaker 1: is a balance, But there's a balance.

1134
00:51:12,920 --> 00:51:15,239
Speaker 4: Sometimes the ship is going to be imbalanced. We have

1135
00:51:15,320 --> 00:51:16,640
Speaker 4: to do better at time in.

1136
00:51:16,800 --> 00:51:19,399
Speaker 1: Sometimes the ship is going to be imbalanced. Though people

1137
00:51:19,440 --> 00:51:23,120
Speaker 1: always talk about balance, balance, balance, sometimes balance can't exist.

1138
00:51:23,640 --> 00:51:24,200
Speaker 4: It just can't.

1139
00:51:24,520 --> 00:51:26,840
Speaker 1: When you're when you're really grinding at odds at something,

1140
00:51:27,040 --> 00:51:29,799
Speaker 1: sometimes it's going to be imbalanced at times. And then

1141
00:51:29,840 --> 00:51:31,839
Speaker 1: you and then you go back, I mean, and then

1142
00:51:32,040 --> 00:51:33,600
Speaker 1: but then I'm like Is that true? Or am I

1143
00:51:33,640 --> 00:51:35,520
Speaker 1: just not good at sending by setting boundaries? Am I

1144
00:51:35,600 --> 00:51:36,719
Speaker 1: not good at setting boundaries?

1145
00:51:37,520 --> 00:51:39,839
Speaker 4: You know? It's like it's fine a combination of all

1146
00:51:39,880 --> 00:51:40,160
Speaker 4: of that.

1147
00:51:40,320 --> 00:51:43,600
Speaker 5: But I think that there, there is, there will be

1148
00:51:43,640 --> 00:51:46,080
Speaker 5: a time and it's coming that we're gonna look at

1149
00:51:46,080 --> 00:51:47,799
Speaker 5: each other and be like, oh my god, this shit

1150
00:51:48,520 --> 00:51:49,879
Speaker 5: fucking finally paid off.

1151
00:51:50,719 --> 00:51:53,760
Speaker 4: We've done that to be here. I don't really know where.

1152
00:51:53,520 --> 00:51:56,799
Speaker 5: That here is per se right now, but I think

1153
00:51:56,800 --> 00:52:00,880
Speaker 5: we both I think we both know that that's I

1154
00:52:00,880 --> 00:52:03,279
Speaker 5: think we both know that that's eventually coming, and I

1155
00:52:03,280 --> 00:52:06,440
Speaker 5: think that's what makes us both grind that much harder.

1156
00:52:07,280 --> 00:52:09,839
Speaker 5: I don't think if we thought like I've had other

1157
00:52:10,000 --> 00:52:11,799
Speaker 5: I mean, I have a business, I have things that

1158
00:52:11,840 --> 00:52:14,360
Speaker 5: I really like to do. Nothing like I felt like

1159
00:52:14,480 --> 00:52:17,600
Speaker 5: about this, Nothing that I felt that I'm living in

1160
00:52:17,640 --> 00:52:20,640
Speaker 5: my purpose as much as this, And so I think

1161
00:52:20,800 --> 00:52:23,240
Speaker 5: that there like just like you can't we can't sleep,

1162
00:52:23,280 --> 00:52:25,680
Speaker 5: We're fucking stressing. We're texting each other four in the morning,

1163
00:52:25,719 --> 00:52:31,400
Speaker 5: like write this down random shit like boys blah blah blah,

1164
00:52:31,440 --> 00:52:35,000
Speaker 5: like things that make absolutely no sense because it's just

1165
00:52:35,160 --> 00:52:37,239
Speaker 5: that heavy on our heart. And I think when when

1166
00:52:37,280 --> 00:52:40,439
Speaker 5: there's something that you're that passionate about. That's how it's

1167
00:52:40,480 --> 00:52:42,360
Speaker 5: going to be. And I don't think it's gonna be

1168
00:52:42,360 --> 00:52:44,600
Speaker 5: like this forever. And I think we both know we're

1169
00:52:44,600 --> 00:52:47,400
Speaker 5: grinding for there to be this place where we have

1170
00:52:47,480 --> 00:52:48,880
Speaker 5: seven streams of income.

1171
00:52:49,280 --> 00:52:57,880
Speaker 4: Sign up for Patreon for real. But yeah, you know,

1172
00:52:58,000 --> 00:53:00,400
Speaker 4: motherhood is hard. Being an adult is hard.

1173
00:53:00,800 --> 00:53:03,239
Speaker 5: It's like some depression, a lot of anxiety, a lot

1174
00:53:03,239 --> 00:53:05,680
Speaker 5: of worrying, a lot of stressing, a lot of wanting

1175
00:53:05,680 --> 00:53:07,480
Speaker 5: to be rich, and a lot of reminding yourself to

1176
00:53:07,480 --> 00:53:11,440
Speaker 5: get off of fucking Instagram. But that's we're all here together.

1177
00:53:11,560 --> 00:53:13,719
Speaker 5: You know, no one has it completely together. You know,

1178
00:53:14,239 --> 00:53:18,120
Speaker 5: there's we're not fucking Mary Poppins. It doesn't it doesn't

1179
00:53:18,160 --> 00:53:21,080
Speaker 5: roll that way. And I'm not saying we were, as

1180
00:53:21,120 --> 00:53:24,120
Speaker 5: long as we're conscious and we're actively working to be

1181
00:53:24,120 --> 00:53:27,399
Speaker 5: better and to know, like, Okay, we're fucking up right now.

1182
00:53:27,440 --> 00:53:29,600
Speaker 5: And when this show is over, we're gonna come back

1183
00:53:29,680 --> 00:53:30,560
Speaker 5: and chill.

1184
00:53:30,840 --> 00:53:35,200
Speaker 4: Then, are we? Because are we like gonna like start

1185
00:53:35,200 --> 00:53:39,600
Speaker 4: working on our next one? New York? Okay, Well it's

1186
00:53:39,600 --> 00:53:41,480
Speaker 4: gonna be easier every you know what I do now, though,

1187
00:53:41,520 --> 00:53:42,520
Speaker 4: it's going to get easier.

1188
00:53:42,640 --> 00:53:44,479
Speaker 5: But I will say, do you remember a long time ago,

1189
00:53:44,800 --> 00:53:47,080
Speaker 5: that long time ago, like eight months ago, where it

1190
00:53:47,120 --> 00:53:49,640
Speaker 5: took us like all day to send like three emails.

1191
00:53:49,920 --> 00:53:50,520
Speaker 4: Do you remember that.

1192
00:53:50,920 --> 00:53:53,120
Speaker 5: I was like when we were like pushing out emails

1193
00:53:53,160 --> 00:53:56,040
Speaker 5: for this, I was like, oh, look at us with

1194
00:53:56,760 --> 00:53:57,680
Speaker 5: email templates.

1195
00:53:58,120 --> 00:54:00,279
Speaker 4: You know. Yeah, we're fine tuning the process.

1196
00:54:00,400 --> 00:54:02,680
Speaker 5: So it's like, the more we practice that getting better,

1197
00:54:02,719 --> 00:54:03,880
Speaker 5: it will become more efficient.

1198
00:54:03,920 --> 00:54:05,799
Speaker 1: I think, well, okay, we're fine doing the process of this,

1199
00:54:05,880 --> 00:54:08,000
Speaker 1: and then we're also going to fine tune the process

1200
00:54:08,000 --> 00:54:09,680
Speaker 1: of this plus motherhood as well.

1201
00:54:09,760 --> 00:54:11,319
Speaker 4: Yeah, fine tuning that, and then we're going to fine

1202
00:54:11,360 --> 00:54:13,640
Speaker 4: tune the process of a show, and then we're going.

1203
00:54:13,560 --> 00:54:15,960
Speaker 5: To find you know, so it's gonna get easier because

1204
00:54:16,000 --> 00:54:18,600
Speaker 5: we'll have we've done it fifteen fucking times. We've sent

1205
00:54:18,640 --> 00:54:20,840
Speaker 5: that fucking email forty thousand times.

1206
00:54:23,440 --> 00:54:27,080
Speaker 4: So yeah, I see you. You're doing a good job.

1207
00:54:27,200 --> 00:54:30,839
Speaker 5: I think that you get really guilty, you feel really

1208
00:54:30,880 --> 00:54:32,920
Speaker 5: guilt because you travel a lot, and I think, like,

1209
00:54:32,960 --> 00:54:34,960
Speaker 5: you're doing a good job. And I think also we

1210
00:54:35,000 --> 00:54:36,960
Speaker 5: don't have like baby daddy, well, I mean whatever, I

1211
00:54:36,960 --> 00:54:38,520
Speaker 5: don't know what your baby daddy tells you like to

1212
00:54:38,600 --> 00:54:41,160
Speaker 5: be like, damn baby doing a bomb ass shop being

1213
00:54:41,160 --> 00:54:45,120
Speaker 5: a mother. I know I'm a good mom, and I

1214
00:54:45,160 --> 00:54:47,520
Speaker 5: get it from like people on Instagram, which is strange,

1215
00:54:47,680 --> 00:54:51,799
Speaker 5: but I don't really hear that from like people really

1216
00:54:51,840 --> 00:54:55,319
Speaker 5: close to me. And it doesn't make me question myself

1217
00:54:55,360 --> 00:54:57,839
Speaker 5: because I know I'm a good mom. But if we

1218
00:54:57,840 --> 00:54:59,799
Speaker 5: were in a space where we were in a relationship,

1219
00:55:00,360 --> 00:55:02,799
Speaker 5: we were getting reassured by partners, I think we would

1220
00:55:02,840 --> 00:55:05,440
Speaker 5: feel a little bit less guilty because sometimes you know,

1221
00:55:05,440 --> 00:55:06,520
Speaker 5: we've never done this shit before.

1222
00:55:06,600 --> 00:55:09,640
Speaker 1: No, you need that, not you need that, You don't

1223
00:55:09,640 --> 00:55:12,120
Speaker 1: need it, but like it feels good. You get that

1224
00:55:12,200 --> 00:55:15,560
Speaker 1: from someone that is around you the most, like your

1225
00:55:15,560 --> 00:55:17,920
Speaker 1: mother or your father, right, but if they're attacking or

1226
00:55:17,920 --> 00:55:18,759
Speaker 1: your daughter's father.

1227
00:55:19,000 --> 00:55:20,680
Speaker 5: But if they're a tacking you about this and that

1228
00:55:20,840 --> 00:55:23,920
Speaker 5: and your fucking Instagram photos, you're like, damn, you so

1229
00:55:24,000 --> 00:55:25,839
Speaker 5: quick to say this, But have you said you're doing

1230
00:55:25,840 --> 00:55:26,719
Speaker 5: a fucking good job.

1231
00:55:27,080 --> 00:55:27,239
Speaker 6: Yeah.

1232
00:55:27,280 --> 00:55:28,839
Speaker 4: Actually, my mom got mad at me like a month ago.

1233
00:55:28,840 --> 00:55:30,359
Speaker 5: I was like, you're not doing a good job though,

1234
00:55:30,360 --> 00:55:33,000
Speaker 5: and I was like, wow, that was evil.

1235
00:55:34,160 --> 00:55:37,439
Speaker 4: But yeah, we are doing a good job.

1236
00:55:37,640 --> 00:55:39,680
Speaker 5: We're doing a great job with just the two of

1237
00:55:39,719 --> 00:55:43,680
Speaker 5: us for a fifty person fucking team.

1238
00:55:43,880 --> 00:55:46,200
Speaker 4: Well, I think if no one has told you, and

1239
00:55:46,239 --> 00:55:48,360
Speaker 4: I know I told you earlier, You're a great mom. Thanks,

1240
00:55:48,440 --> 00:55:50,320
Speaker 4: you are a great mom. Luna is very lucky.

1241
00:55:50,400 --> 00:55:56,040
Speaker 1: I see the watching her videos last night, I was dying.

1242
00:55:56,320 --> 00:55:58,319
Speaker 4: And also like a little I was like I want

1243
00:55:58,320 --> 00:56:00,560
Speaker 4: what I was like, I was not like that. Why

1244
00:56:00,600 --> 00:56:02,200
Speaker 4: is she not? Like maybe I need to like be

1245
00:56:02,440 --> 00:56:04,960
Speaker 4: what am I doing wrong? This is wait?

1246
00:56:04,960 --> 00:56:06,760
Speaker 1: I was like, why doesn't I read all the Spice Girls?

1247
00:56:06,760 --> 00:56:08,000
Speaker 1: What the fuck am I doing?

1248
00:56:08,120 --> 00:56:09,040
Speaker 5: I know?

1249
00:56:09,160 --> 00:56:10,920
Speaker 4: Literally, I was like, oh my god, how did I

1250
00:56:10,920 --> 00:56:11,319
Speaker 4: miss that.

1251
00:56:13,200 --> 00:56:17,560
Speaker 6: ABC's Spice Girls get Honestly, I.

1252
00:56:17,480 --> 00:56:19,640
Speaker 4: Was like, how does she not know Genie in the bottle?

1253
00:56:19,719 --> 00:56:22,400
Speaker 4: She doesn't like? Luna was like, knows the words.

1254
00:56:22,120 --> 00:56:25,720
Speaker 5: And your defense she a lot of that's from youtwo,

1255
00:56:26,160 --> 00:56:30,400
Speaker 5: which is not good, Like how do you know everywhere YouTube?

1256
00:56:31,160 --> 00:56:33,120
Speaker 5: She I heard her like kind of singing and I

1257
00:56:33,160 --> 00:56:34,640
Speaker 5: was like, are you singing what I think you're singing?

1258
00:56:34,880 --> 00:56:38,120
Speaker 4: But some things I do show her, but like I

1259
00:56:38,520 --> 00:56:41,360
Speaker 4: just it is important. They need to know Spice Girls.

1260
00:56:41,400 --> 00:56:44,440
Speaker 4: It's absolutely crucial. And sometimes I get excited like, oh,

1261
00:56:44,520 --> 00:56:46,799
Speaker 4: well you hear this album yet? What about Dirty? Wait?

1262
00:56:46,800 --> 00:56:48,200
Speaker 4: Hold on? Let me pull up a couple of things.

1263
00:56:48,320 --> 00:56:49,680
Speaker 4: You don't even know half of it, you know.

1264
00:56:49,840 --> 00:56:52,120
Speaker 1: I'm just like, I'm just like, my most important thing

1265
00:56:52,120 --> 00:56:53,360
Speaker 1: for her to know is Eric Abadou.

1266
00:56:53,719 --> 00:56:56,440
Speaker 4: I'm like, who is this? I always test her, I'm like,

1267
00:56:56,480 --> 00:57:00,960
Speaker 4: who is this? I forget? I mean she she's yeah.

1268
00:57:01,400 --> 00:57:04,080
Speaker 4: I don't know if she knows any But that's because.

1269
00:57:03,840 --> 00:57:05,759
Speaker 1: I'm obsessed, and I've been obsessed since I was a kid.

1270
00:57:05,800 --> 00:57:07,959
Speaker 1: But I've also was obsessed with those pop songs.

1271
00:57:08,120 --> 00:57:11,239
Speaker 4: Remember her live Remember her live album Eric? My mom

1272
00:57:11,280 --> 00:57:11,520
Speaker 4: had that.

1273
00:57:11,640 --> 00:57:19,280
Speaker 5: I remember that? Yeah, girl, Yeah, how maybe she use

1274
00:57:19,360 --> 00:57:19,720
Speaker 5: that for this?

1275
00:57:20,520 --> 00:57:27,280
Speaker 4: Yeah? I think you're right. Anyway, I really have to pee.

1276
00:57:27,320 --> 00:57:34,640
Speaker 5: Okay, buy tickets to our live show if you're in

1277
00:57:34,680 --> 00:57:36,480
Speaker 5: the Atlanta and the nearby area.

1278
00:57:37,400 --> 00:57:40,200
Speaker 1: All of our VIP tickets are sold out. You missed

1279
00:57:40,240 --> 00:57:43,520
Speaker 1: out because the gift bags bomb. But maybe we should

1280
00:57:43,560 --> 00:57:45,480
Speaker 1: have made more VIP gift bags.

1281
00:57:45,840 --> 00:57:53,760
Speaker 4: Definitely should have made it fifty living and learn and learning. Yeah,

1282
00:57:54,560 --> 00:57:55,520
Speaker 4: we'll see you guys there.

1283
00:57:55,680 --> 00:58:00,600
Speaker 1: I'm excited, and I hope you guys know, like, if

1284
00:58:00,640 --> 00:58:04,920
Speaker 1: you guys are experiencing guilt, or if you guys are

1285
00:58:05,000 --> 00:58:10,520
Speaker 1: experiencing shame from family members or you know, second guesting,

1286
00:58:10,560 --> 00:58:15,400
Speaker 1: a second guessing yourself, second guessing your career choices, and

1287
00:58:15,680 --> 00:58:19,360
Speaker 1: you've gotten a lot of no's and people don't understand

1288
00:58:19,360 --> 00:58:19,880
Speaker 1: your vision.

1289
00:58:20,520 --> 00:58:21,640
Speaker 4: Just know you're not alone.

1290
00:58:22,000 --> 00:58:26,600
Speaker 1: Like these are things that like I've heard a lot,

1291
00:58:26,680 --> 00:58:28,880
Speaker 1: and it wasn't until I started this that I really

1292
00:58:28,960 --> 00:58:32,560
Speaker 1: understood how it feels for like people to really just

1293
00:58:32,680 --> 00:58:36,000
Speaker 1: pass you up and be like no thanks.

1294
00:58:36,000 --> 00:58:41,440
Speaker 4: Eh, nah, no what yeah, no, shit fucking hurts.

1295
00:58:41,840 --> 00:58:45,400
Speaker 1: But if you just keep pushing and pushing, and like,

1296
00:58:45,480 --> 00:58:47,480
Speaker 1: I'm really lucky because I do have a partner. I

1297
00:58:47,520 --> 00:58:49,880
Speaker 1: have Jamila, and like we just encourage each other. But

1298
00:58:49,920 --> 00:58:51,960
Speaker 1: there's people out here that are doing this shit on

1299
00:58:52,000 --> 00:58:54,880
Speaker 1: their own, and they're starting businesses on their own, and

1300
00:58:54,920 --> 00:58:57,000
Speaker 1: they have to be the they have to be their

1301
00:58:57,000 --> 00:58:59,960
Speaker 1: own support system. They have to be you know, they're

1302
00:59:00,000 --> 00:59:03,120
Speaker 1: our own cheerleader and remind themselves, no, no, I got this,

1303
00:59:03,200 --> 00:59:08,600
Speaker 1: I got this. You're not alone, and keep going, keep

1304
00:59:08,760 --> 00:59:12,800
Speaker 1: fucking going because it will pay off. I've seen it.

1305
00:59:13,280 --> 00:59:16,320
Speaker 1: I've seen it, and I'm feeling it now and we're

1306
00:59:16,400 --> 00:59:17,680
Speaker 1: just at the tip of the iceberg.

1307
00:59:18,040 --> 00:59:19,640
Speaker 4: Yeah you know so.

1308
00:59:19,960 --> 00:59:24,240
Speaker 5: And Mama, you're doing a good job and know thyself

1309
00:59:24,520 --> 00:59:28,640
Speaker 5: and then no one else's opinion or shaming or et

1310
00:59:28,720 --> 00:59:31,919
Speaker 5: cetera will bother you because you know what you're doing.

1311
00:59:32,480 --> 00:59:38,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, anyway, have a wonderful day.

1312
00:59:38,520 --> 00:59:40,400
Speaker 4: And join Patreon.

1313
00:59:40,960 --> 00:59:44,400
Speaker 5: See us on Instagram, Good Mom's Underscore, Bad Choices.

1314
00:59:44,560 --> 00:59:46,520
Speaker 4: Also follow us on Facebook.

1315
00:59:46,960 --> 00:59:48,960
Speaker 1: Make sure you follow us on Facebook because we are

1316
00:59:49,000 --> 00:59:52,160
Speaker 1: becoming a lot more active on there, and we post

1317
00:59:52,200 --> 00:59:57,680
Speaker 1: a lot of more funny memes on their memes what's called.

1318
00:59:57,480 --> 01:00:01,560
Speaker 4: Me okay memes and shit. Also, we have a secret

1319
01:00:01,560 --> 01:00:04,400
Speaker 4: Facebook page if you join the Patreon where we talk

1320
01:00:04,440 --> 01:00:05,280
Speaker 4: a lot about ship.

1321
01:00:07,840 --> 01:00:12,760
Speaker 5: So yeah, all right, guys, catch you later.

1322
01:00:16,200 --> 01:00:18,920
Speaker 4: And parties don't stop. Field eight in the Phone.

1323
01:00:19,800 --> 01:00:22,040
Speaker 2: Where the players play and we ride on them.

1324
01:00:22,080 --> 01:00:26,080
Speaker 3: Facts like every day, Big Beats, hit Street, Seek James's Romance,

1325
01:00:26,240 --> 01:00:27,120
Speaker 3: and parties don't go.

1326
01:00:27,360 --> 01:00:28,720
Speaker 2: Fill eight in the Phone and.

1327
01:00:28,800 --> 01:00:31,720
Speaker 3: Welcome to Atlanta, where the players play and we ride

1328
01:00:31,720 --> 01:00:34,800
Speaker 3: on them. Things like every day, Big Beats, Hitch Street,

1329
01:00:34,840 --> 01:00:37,280
Speaker 3: Seek James's Roman, and parties don't stop.

1330
01:00:37,360 --> 01:00:38,920
Speaker 4: Field eight in the Bone.

1331
01:00:39,840 --> 01:00:42,480
Speaker 3: Where the players play and we ride on them. Facts

1332
01:00:42,480 --> 01:00:44,560
Speaker 3: like every day, Big beatt