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Speaker 1: Welcome. You are now listening to the Professional profession. Hey,

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Speaker 1: Professional home Girls is the kid of a name from

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Speaker 1: the PSD podcast, the only place where you would hear

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Speaker 1: interviews from black women an honestly on stories that will

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Speaker 1: enlighten and expand on taboo topics. Now, if you hear

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Speaker 1: someone that sounds familiar, mind the business that pays you child.

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Speaker 1: If you like the PhD podcast, please rate, review and

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Speaker 1: subscribe on Apple Podcasts. Please five star reviews only hold

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Speaker 1: me down, don't hold me up. Merchants now enveloped on

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Speaker 1: the site as well as my book list, so please

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Speaker 1: make sure you visit the link in the show notes below.

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Speaker 1: You can connect with the kid on Instagram at the

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Speaker 1: Professional home Girl and at the PhD podcast. If you

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Speaker 1: are on Twitter, please follow me at the PhD podcast Now.

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Speaker 1: If you are all caught up with episode, listen to

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Speaker 1: the bonus episodes by supporting the PSD podcast Patreon account.

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Speaker 1: To support, please visit www dot patreon dot com. Forward

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Speaker 1: slash the PSD podcast now. Please keep in mind that

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Speaker 1: all of my guests are nonness, so let's again this

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Speaker 1: week's episode. So it is such an honor to have

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Speaker 1: my guests on the show today. She is an author,

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Speaker 1: we are rooting for New York Times best seller lists, activists,

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Speaker 1: were renowned speaker and the dorta of Eric Garner. My

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Speaker 1: guest is here they to discuss her book, Finding My Voice,

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Speaker 1: on grieving my father, Eric Garner, and pushing for justice.

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Speaker 1: So to my guest, thank you so much for being

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Speaker 1: a part of the show. How was your day. I'm

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Speaker 1: kind of toning down now out. Um, you know, it's

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Speaker 1: been it's been crazy with the book released, but I'm

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Speaker 1: really happy, um that people are receiving it and you know,

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Speaker 1: reading it and are interested in, you know, my story. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you've been a hustling. I was like, she's doing something

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Speaker 1: every night. Yes, it's been. It's been every day. And

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Speaker 1: that's what I told the people. It's like, listen, you know,

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Speaker 1: I got kids at home, so you know, I gotta

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Speaker 1: cook the dinner, I gotta get ready for bed, I

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Speaker 1: gotta do the homework, so we gotta chill. Yeah, I'm like,

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Speaker 1: every day you're doing something. But first of all, congratulations

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Speaker 1: on your book. I read your book on my fight

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Speaker 1: back home and it was definitely emotional but inspiring. So

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Speaker 1: what inspired you to share your journey now? Um, I

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Speaker 1: think all the misconception in the media. UM, it really

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Speaker 1: starts to get frustrating. UM. And I was like, you know,

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Speaker 1: what's what's the better way to get my story out there?

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Speaker 1: You know, I don't have no budget for no production

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Speaker 1: and podcast, I mean, um, documentary or movie or anything

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Speaker 1: like that. So I was like, let's let's write a book.

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Speaker 1: Was it triggering for you to write the book? Super triggering?

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Speaker 1: It was very triggering. Um. It pulled back a lot

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Speaker 1: of layers UM that I kind of wasn't ready for.

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Speaker 1: But UM, we worked through it. I was really glad

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Speaker 1: to have my co authors, people who understand me, people

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Speaker 1: who know they've seen the journey. Um, they can understand

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Speaker 1: when something a little triggering. You know. We were able

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Speaker 1: to stop and then pick it up you know, another

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Speaker 1: day and stuff like that. It was it was super

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Speaker 1: easy to work with them. And I also like how

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Speaker 1: you was, Um, you shared your platform, which I'm pretty

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Speaker 1: sure people who are unfortunately been members of this movement,

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Speaker 1: but you share your platform with other survivors who lost

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Speaker 1: their loved ones to police brutality. I think that was

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Speaker 1: very like that was very hard to read. Yes, it was. Um,

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Speaker 1: it's something that I was like, you know, we did

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Speaker 1: the podcast. We did really like three episodes. I mean,

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Speaker 1: because I was like, I want to have a podcast,

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Speaker 1: but I don't want to talk about the story of

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Speaker 1: you know what happened. We know what happened, like that

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Speaker 1: part of the story is true, but you guys don't

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Speaker 1: know what happens after the cameras go away and you

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Speaker 1: know what to see what was going on and nobody's

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Speaker 1: talking about it, and nobody's addressing these things. And then

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Speaker 1: we see what happened with my sister. I was like, no, this,

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Speaker 1: this absolutely cannot keep happening because we're losing people at

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Speaker 1: a rapid rate due to police brutality, and you know

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Speaker 1: it's the long term effects of it, right. And you

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Speaker 1: also brought up a good point of your book on

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Speaker 1: how people often forget about the children doing the uphill

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Speaker 1: battle for justice. Why do you think people forget about

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Speaker 1: the kids? Um, I think that they forget about whoever

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Speaker 1: is not on the face, whoever is not in the media,

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Speaker 1: whoever is not at everything, whoever is not at every

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Speaker 1: protest or whoever attending. And it's like, you know, I

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Speaker 1: had to let people know that from me. I have

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Speaker 1: my daughter at home, so I can't be everywhere and everything.

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Speaker 1: I still have to do pick up, drop off, parenthetic conference.

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Speaker 1: I have to do all these things, um, plus have

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Speaker 1: a full time job and still try to be an

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Speaker 1: activist when you know I didn't I didn't want to

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Speaker 1: be an activist and um, you know, having to do

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Speaker 1: all of these things like it was a lot. So

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Speaker 1: you know, just pointing out the fact that you know,

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Speaker 1: we have other needs and it's not just a need

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Speaker 1: to be on TV or need to be UM at

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Speaker 1: every press conference, because we can't like the child care

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Speaker 1: for that, who's picking them up, who's picking them to school,

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Speaker 1: who's um doing laundry and you know, doing schoolwork and

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Speaker 1: doing all that stuff. Who's doing that? Nobody's doing it,

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Speaker 1: so it falls on me. So on top of everything

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Speaker 1: that I have to take care of, that's just another

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Speaker 1: thing to be added to my plate. And I think

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Speaker 1: sometimes people forget like this is your life and we're

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Speaker 1: just watching it like it affects all of us. But

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Speaker 1: I think people expect so much out of people who

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Speaker 1: are UM, people who are survivors of this, but people

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Speaker 1: forget like, yo, this is my father or this is

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Speaker 1: my husband, this is my child like people. Um, people

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Speaker 1: reactive things differently. Yes, absolutely, and um, it was just

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Speaker 1: super unfortunate. Like as I watched things go on and

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Speaker 1: talk to other people who have been in this situation

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Speaker 1: longer than me, um, so I was just like, no,

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Speaker 1: like this is this is just not going like a

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Speaker 1: you okay and it'll be like, oh, I'm I'm fighting

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Speaker 1: for justice. That gives me the problem. It's just like

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Speaker 1: when the cameras go away, are you really okay? Because

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Speaker 1: I'm not. And I want to know how did you

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Speaker 1: get there? Because and if you haven't gotten there was

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Speaker 1: stopping you or whatever it is, I want to know it.

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Speaker 1: Like I wanted to really be intentional about how, um,

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Speaker 1: how I took care of myself after my sister pass away.

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Speaker 1: So I wanted to make sure I was intentional about that,

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Speaker 1: like I'm making these changes. I'm making these decisions so

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Speaker 1: that I can be better to get up every day

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Speaker 1: to find my purpose. One of the things that I

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Speaker 1: like about your book, I like a lot of things

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Speaker 1: about your books. I'm probably thank you. I just feel

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Speaker 1: like your story was just so relatable and I feel like,

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Speaker 1: you know, you spoke about being in the foster care system,

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Speaker 1: having a daughter at a very young age, and you know,

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Speaker 1: finally getting on your feet. He was a manager Payless.

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Speaker 1: Like tell us about that, because I think sometimes that

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Speaker 1: part of the story get lost, and I think that

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Speaker 1: will makes you so reliable, like this can happen to

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Speaker 1: any one of us. Mhm. And that's I really wanted

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Speaker 1: people to understand, Like, you know, I had my struggles,

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Speaker 1: you know, but I started to piece my life back

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Speaker 1: together in my adulthood. But um yeah, so um I

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Speaker 1: decided to share that because you know, I was trying

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Speaker 1: to piece my life. I was piecing my life together

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Speaker 1: in my adulthood. You know. Um, I just had got

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Speaker 1: my apartment when I turned nineteen, then I had my daughter.

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Speaker 1: Um so you know, working through my career and being

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Speaker 1: you know, making it from being a cashier to a

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Speaker 1: key career at Payless, that's a big deal for people

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Speaker 1: to know, like excuse me, just no cashier, not person.

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Speaker 1: You know I worked at I'm working my way up

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Speaker 1: and then to get to where I wanted to be,

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Speaker 1: like you know a little bit further, um financially, like

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Speaker 1: a little bit more per hour and all that other

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Speaker 1: stuff like that was important to me, like making my

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Speaker 1: own money and being self sufficient was very much important

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Speaker 1: to me at a very young age. So to have

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Speaker 1: that like kind of snatched away, it was like, dang, well,

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Speaker 1: you know what, I'm gonna have my moment and then

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Speaker 1: it's like, you know, I have to deal with this

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Speaker 1: grief and deal with this long term grief and then

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Speaker 1: deal with another tragedy, and then it's like thing like

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Speaker 1: you know, then you think you got You're building yourself

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Speaker 1: up because after my father passed away, I went back

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Speaker 1: to college and I was like, okay, well I didn't

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Speaker 1: do even more by going back to college. And then

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Speaker 1: I go back to college, and then my sister passed away,

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Speaker 1: so I had to come back out of college and

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Speaker 1: take care of the kids. And then it's just like Okay,

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Speaker 1: then I build myself up and I'm working, working at

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Speaker 1: ACS do this really well, and that I have the

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Speaker 1: kids and I can't even make it to work because

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Speaker 1: I don't have childcare. So it's just a lot of

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Speaker 1: peaks and valley. It's like I'm just all the way

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Speaker 1: up here and then I'm down here here, and I'm

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Speaker 1: down here and that's why um I decided to name

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Speaker 1: the chapters how I named them Mental Health exploitation, media exploitation.

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Speaker 1: So I wanted to be very specific and what I

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Speaker 1: was talking about because I want people to understand, and

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Speaker 1: I wanted them to hear my voice when they were reading. No,

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Speaker 1: I definitely heard your voice. And I also, you know,

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Speaker 1: you was a single parent, so not only were you young,

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Speaker 1: you're trying to navigate through life, but you also have

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Speaker 1: to take care of a child. Yeah, definitely, it was

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Speaker 1: a lot. Um. You know, I do have to you know,

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Speaker 1: I wasn't a relationship. Um, you know, up until about

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Speaker 1: three years ago. So throughout the struggle, like you know,

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Speaker 1: I never it was never publicized, there was no none

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Speaker 1: of that. But I do you know say, like you know,

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Speaker 1: he did help me a lot in that transition. Um,

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Speaker 1: and when it got hard, that that's when it was like, okay,

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Speaker 1: it was too much and you know I started to

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Speaker 1: take on too much. So um that you know, somebody

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Speaker 1: gotta be strong to be dealing with somebody like me

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Speaker 1: because I have to. I take on a lot of

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Speaker 1: things and I have a lot of things on my plate.

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Speaker 1: So you know, I don't you know, I don't blame

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Speaker 1: the person, but I do I do appreciate them for

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Speaker 1: being around for those for those times, but you know,

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Speaker 1: as of right now, I'm doing it by myself. So

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Speaker 1: what was your relationship like with your father? Um, it

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Speaker 1: was like any other relationship. UM, you know, I was

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Speaker 1: a rebellious team. You know, I talked back, you know,

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Speaker 1: well my stuff, but you know it was it was

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Speaker 1: always a sense of togetherness. Like you know, I feel

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Speaker 1: like the only person that I could ever depend on,

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Speaker 1: even going through, um, everything that I went through was

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Speaker 1: my father really, so like you know, if I had

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Speaker 1: if I was in a buying like oh I need

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Speaker 1: some rent money, like you know, I was calling him.

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Speaker 1: I was calling nobody else. Was nobody else to call um,

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Speaker 1: you know, and I didn't make that call very often,

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Speaker 1: so when I did call, at least I got an answer.

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Speaker 1: You know. I wasn't asking all the time. So you know,

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Speaker 1: it's like one of those things where it's like, okay,

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Speaker 1: well listen, I'm the child that don't ask all the time.

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Speaker 1: Hold me down. You know, I should be getting it.

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Speaker 1: Because I don't ask, who asked? I should get it.

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Speaker 1: So that's always been my mentality because you know, help

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Speaker 1: you to simply things, help you listen, help me. And

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Speaker 1: I also felt like y'all were like a very close

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Speaker 1: knit family too. Yeah, it's like we were scattered, but

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Speaker 1: we were still close. Like certain things we still did,

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Speaker 1: like when I had my apartment and you know, my

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Speaker 1: parents lived to sting Out and I'm like, um, y'all

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Speaker 1: need to come on for Sunday dinner. Like that's what

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Speaker 1: people do, that's what do they get together for Sunday dinner.

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Speaker 1: So I'll see y'all on Sunday. So they would come

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Speaker 1: to Harlem from Staton Aland on Sundays and have dinner

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Speaker 1: at my house. Sold you know, everybody would come over.

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Speaker 1: You know I would cook that food. That's that's really weird.

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Speaker 1: You know, show up my cooking skills and stuff and

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Speaker 1: you know, cook the food or whatever and we would

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Speaker 1: just hang out. But you know I would. I made

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Speaker 1: them do that pretty much, right, But you know as

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Speaker 1: you get older, because I have to do that with

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Speaker 1: my family and friends, like I have to make them like,

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Speaker 1: come on, y'all, let's do some listener some time together

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Speaker 1: because before we're gonna be old as hell exactly, like

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Speaker 1: we need to like we need to meet, like I

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Speaker 1: try to do like Sunday dinners all the time, try

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Speaker 1: to keep stuff like I try to decorate the house

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Speaker 1: and you know, do all of these things and it's

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Speaker 1: just like I'm tired. So you know, I'll teach the

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Speaker 1: kids how to do it. And you know how they

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Speaker 1: coming out they know how doing it right because I'm

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Speaker 1: telling them like listen, if it looks busted, it look busted,

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Speaker 1: like get it together right right. Um, where were you

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Speaker 1: when you heard the news about your father? Um? I

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Speaker 1: was in my house. So we started the book on

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Speaker 1: the day of Um everything happened. Because everything that happened

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Speaker 1: because probably people to understand the reality like started on

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Speaker 1: July seventeen, so that that's that's what I wanted people

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Speaker 1: to tap into, Like you know, I had a life

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Speaker 1: before that day, and you know my life continued after that,

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Speaker 1: and I wanted people to get like That's why in

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Speaker 1: the book it kind of like went back like oh

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Speaker 1: back in the day or you know, I mean a

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Speaker 1: present point valid to a past point because I feel

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Speaker 1: like with my with my story and how you know,

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Speaker 1: we pulled back the layers and how we talked with

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Speaker 1: what I talked to the authors, it was like, Okay,

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Speaker 1: I always have a story of overcoming issue and have

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Speaker 1: about I just figure it out, Like there's there hasn't

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Speaker 1: been people that could really like, you know, saying like, oh,

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Speaker 1: you're just you're just leaning on me for this or whatever.

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Speaker 1: And I was just like, I'm trying to figure it

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Speaker 1: out first, and if I just absolutely cannot figure it out,

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Speaker 1: then it's like what I start to lean on people

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Speaker 1: when I should be leaning on people from the beginning

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Speaker 1: that of just trying to hear the little on myself.

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Speaker 1: So that's that's a lot of what my life looked like,

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Speaker 1: UM in the past. Right, How did you feel when

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Speaker 1: people try to criminalize your father's name. I hate when

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Speaker 1: they do that because I feel like when a lot

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Speaker 1: of um people that was killed by police officers, they

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Speaker 1: were trying to bring up all these crazy stories and

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Speaker 1: make up these lives and stuff, and it's just like,

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Speaker 1: what are you all talking about? Like this is a

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Speaker 1: human being who hadn't made a mistake. If that was

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Speaker 1: the case, right, it was it was it was dumb.

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Speaker 1: So you know a lot of things that they did

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Speaker 1: with dumb So I'm not a bunch of the news

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Speaker 1: after a while and all that other stuff and doing things.

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Speaker 1: So I really I really didn't I really didn't pay attention,

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Speaker 1: and the stuff that I did pay attention to UM

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Speaker 1: cause me to be mad. So I was just like,

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Speaker 1: you know what, let's just let's just get this out

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Speaker 1: of here. And I started to like really speak up

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Speaker 1: and do things and start to involve myself in certain things,

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Speaker 1: the things that I could handle emotionally. So if I

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Speaker 1: can handle it emotionally, I was not dealing with it right.

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Speaker 1: And you mentioned earlier about the misconceptions. What were you

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Speaker 1: talking about with that? Um, just like you know, just

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Speaker 1: putting it. First of all, I was in a newspaper

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Speaker 1: as my father's daughter, I mean father's baby mother. Then

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Speaker 1: was gonna look at Eric Garder's the mother of Eric

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Speaker 1: Gardner's youngest child. And I'm just like what it was

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Speaker 1: a picture of me and my daughter, and I'm like, okay,

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Speaker 1: now they really got it messed up. Like it's just

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Speaker 1: because it's a it's a lot of us, I mean,

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Speaker 1: but it's like, y'all need to do your research, y'a

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Speaker 1: out like y'all, y'all need to y'all need to focus.

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Speaker 1: This is not right. Yeah, just so caught up on

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Speaker 1: the story that you didn't even take the time to

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Speaker 1: find out who's who it was just it was just

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Speaker 1: like it started to get frustrating, like I didn't even

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Speaker 1: know Argarda had kids. Well then you don't know the story, right,

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Speaker 1: But you can't like you can't say you support the

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Speaker 1: Gardner family and you support one person like that that

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Speaker 1: just does that just doesn't make sense. I ain't gonna lie.

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Speaker 1: You definitely was calling people out in your book about

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Speaker 1: saying how they was supporting you all, and he was like,

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Speaker 1: you never met my mother before, right, I was just like,

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Speaker 1: you know, like it's it's just like you know, you

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Speaker 1: could say that you you are in support, but you

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Speaker 1: can't say that you you supported the family. It's more

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Speaker 1: than one person. So it's just like, you know, people

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Speaker 1: they just they just want to they just want to

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Speaker 1: align themselves and do this like people walking to me like, oh,

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Speaker 1: I'm your cousin, and I'm just like, okay, do you

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Speaker 1: remember me? First of all, I'm my mother's youngest daughter, like,

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Speaker 1: and she had two other kids after me, and she

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Speaker 1: had to my my mother had two kids when she

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Speaker 1: met my father, so you might be confused with me

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Speaker 1: with my older sister, So why don't you ask me

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Speaker 1: what's my name? And what you know which place do

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Speaker 1: I fold? Like, are you the oldest daughter? Are you

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Speaker 1: the daughter? That's weird though, because like, if I ain't

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Speaker 1: known you since I've been alive all these years, why

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Speaker 1: are you coming up to me now right now? It's

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Speaker 1: like I'm your cousin, and it's just like, that's weird,

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Speaker 1: that's spooky. Yes, do you think that the media is

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Speaker 1: obsessed with trauma porn? And the reason why I asked

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Speaker 1: it because you've seen your father, We've seen Brianna Taylor,

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Speaker 1: George Floyd, I'm a liberary, and so many other people

331
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Speaker 1: being killed over on over again, and it's like, at

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Speaker 1: what point do to media stopped showing these images and videos? Um,

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Speaker 1: it was super difficult to navigating that because as I

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Speaker 1: stayed like I walked out of a plenty of interviews. Well,

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Speaker 1: I was just like, listen, don't don't play the video,

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Speaker 1: Like that's all I'm asking you to do. You want

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Speaker 1: to get my side, you want to get my point,

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Speaker 1: if you want to get my perspective, but you're not.

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Speaker 1: You're not gonna don't play the video, and then they

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Speaker 1: would do it anyway, and I would just walk out

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Speaker 1: like I'm just like that's the one thing that I asked, like,

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Speaker 1: you're asking me questions that have nothing to do with anything. Yeah, Actually,

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Speaker 1: like somebody actually questions about Revererdhrarpton's hair. And I'm just

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Speaker 1: like my mother on National TV. You think I'm sitting

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Speaker 1: down talking to this man about his hair. I care

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Speaker 1: about his hair? Do you think I care if it's

347
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Speaker 1: fake or not? If his terms? Do you think black hair?

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Speaker 1: I really don't, like, I'm not interested. And what does

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Speaker 1: it even matter about what somebody what they hear there?

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Speaker 1: Like how do you lose all this weight? I don't know,

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Speaker 1: because clearly if I did, maybe hobby and you know

352
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Speaker 1: my I would be as skinny as him that you

353
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Speaker 1: think that's what he's eating every day. I don't ask him,

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Speaker 1: and it's just like get out of here, Like I

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Speaker 1: just I was just getting so frustrated and I would

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Speaker 1: just really blatantly sit there. But like are you serious?

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Speaker 1: Like like oh, like one reporter asked me, um, would

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Speaker 1: you would do you think your father would have been

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Speaker 1: killed if he was white? I think why are we interviewing?

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Speaker 1: But you know what, you also made some another good

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Speaker 1: point because you mentioned how people would ask some of

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Speaker 1: the dumbest ask questions and you're talking about like do

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Speaker 1: you hate police officers or like just some of the

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Speaker 1: things that I didn't think that people would ask, because

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Speaker 1: I thought people would have a little bit more common sense.

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Speaker 1: But it's also like you ask what common says? No

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Speaker 1: compassion or empathy none, none of that. Yeah, empathy, right,

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Speaker 1: It's just it's just crazy. And I'm just like, you know,

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Speaker 1: I just got fed up, fed up, I got tired

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Speaker 1: of it, so I put it in my book, right,

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Speaker 1: and none of your mama was cursing people out child,

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Speaker 1: Yeah she was, And it was just like, you know,

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Speaker 1: please don't get her started. You know, I got started.

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Speaker 1: There was just like, oh, no, peky, get your daughter.

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Speaker 1: And she's well, she told you messing with her and

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Speaker 1: you keep doing it. And I'm just like, you know,

377
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Speaker 1: I'm not the type of person that I don't lead

378
00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:11,040
Speaker 1: with disrespect, I don't lead with aggression. I don't leave

379
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Speaker 1: with those things. But my father was just killed. People

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Speaker 1: are asking me stupid questions, but happening in the background

381
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Speaker 1: with the family, things are happening in the front line

382
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Speaker 1: with the media. Then you got all of this stuff,

383
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Speaker 1: all of these people, all of these things that are happening,

384
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Speaker 1: like I feel like I deserve the past um for

385
00:18:26,320 --> 00:18:29,000
Speaker 1: the past eight years, like you know anybody that I

386
00:18:29,119 --> 00:18:33,160
Speaker 1: rubbed the wrong way or and exhibit anger with like listen,

387
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Speaker 1: I'm trying to be better. Either you're gonna forgive me

388
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Speaker 1: for it, we're gonna move on, or you're gonna hold

389
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Speaker 1: the grudge and just keep it like that, because I really,

390
00:18:39,960 --> 00:18:43,320
Speaker 1: I really lost my mind, Like I really And then

391
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Speaker 1: you know, the first first step to saying you're having

392
00:18:45,720 --> 00:18:47,920
Speaker 1: a problem is admitting that you're having a problem, or

393
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Speaker 1: however that goes. Yes, I admitted that I had a problem.

394
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Speaker 1: I had a problem with the way my father was killed.

395
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Speaker 1: So if I wasn't talking about resolving this issue or

396
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Speaker 1: resolving resolving how we're gonna move forward, then no, I

397
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Speaker 1: was not interested. What do you think the media can

398
00:19:00,760 --> 00:19:05,000
Speaker 1: do different situations like this? I don't think they're gonna

399
00:19:05,040 --> 00:19:09,320
Speaker 1: do anything different. Mm hmm. This is all about the clicks.

400
00:19:09,560 --> 00:19:12,679
Speaker 1: It's all about the click clickbait. You know, whatever, whatever's hot,

401
00:19:12,720 --> 00:19:15,280
Speaker 1: whatever's out there, They're not gonna do anything different. It's

402
00:19:15,280 --> 00:19:17,720
Speaker 1: all about how you carry yourself and how you're navigating

403
00:19:17,760 --> 00:19:21,680
Speaker 1: what you put out, and that's that's That's why, you know,

404
00:19:22,040 --> 00:19:23,800
Speaker 1: I made sure that I wrote this book. Potentially it

405
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Speaker 1: doesn't have curses in it. I don't think, no, it

406
00:19:25,960 --> 00:19:28,359
Speaker 1: doesn't have any books in it, because I wanted people

407
00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:29,840
Speaker 1: to know that I could. I curse like a sailor

408
00:19:29,880 --> 00:19:32,760
Speaker 1: from Times, but um, you know, I wanted people you've

409
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Speaker 1: been really cursing this book. Yeah. I wanted it to

410
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Speaker 1: be an easy read, like I wanted people to understand

411
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Speaker 1: and feel me, and I wanted to be dragging on.

412
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Speaker 1: So that's why the chapters are super short. I wanted,

413
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Speaker 1: you know, I want my documentary so I can really

414
00:19:43,560 --> 00:19:48,480
Speaker 1: explain the full things. But you know, it's it's gonna happen.

415
00:19:48,640 --> 00:19:51,159
Speaker 1: I realized that I need to take my time, um,

416
00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:53,040
Speaker 1: you know, one step at a time, because I'll take

417
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Speaker 1: on a lot of things and be like, yeah, I

418
00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:56,600
Speaker 1: could do all of this, and then I'm rushing around

419
00:19:56,680 --> 00:19:59,320
Speaker 1: to do all of this and you know, um, you know,

420
00:19:59,400 --> 00:20:01,679
Speaker 1: crunch time to meet that lines and there staying up

421
00:20:01,680 --> 00:20:04,159
Speaker 1: for three days straight trying to get things done. And

422
00:20:04,359 --> 00:20:06,280
Speaker 1: you know, I just have to pace myself, set times,

423
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Speaker 1: set boundaries, and that's and that's what I'm learning how

424
00:20:09,520 --> 00:20:12,000
Speaker 1: to do. But how do you balance all of that

425
00:20:12,119 --> 00:20:14,879
Speaker 1: because I can only imagine, like, obviously we know what

426
00:20:15,040 --> 00:20:17,440
Speaker 1: the cause is for we're gonna, I know you and

427
00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:19,479
Speaker 1: your family is gonna do what's needed to honor your

428
00:20:19,600 --> 00:20:23,520
Speaker 1: father and his legacy. But do you ever get tired? Yes,

429
00:20:25,440 --> 00:20:28,000
Speaker 1: you're doing a lot, and then you have three babies,

430
00:20:28,040 --> 00:20:30,120
Speaker 1: which we will talk about later with your sister kids,

431
00:20:30,200 --> 00:20:34,639
Speaker 1: But like, how do you balance everything? Um? Right now,

432
00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:37,560
Speaker 1: I'm trying to build community because I haven't. I haven't, Bud,

433
00:20:38,080 --> 00:20:40,359
Speaker 1: I can say I balanced things well because you know,

434
00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:43,040
Speaker 1: we haven't face homelessness. You know we're doing all right

435
00:20:43,480 --> 00:20:46,520
Speaker 1: likely and you know, dealing with the kids and all

436
00:20:46,560 --> 00:20:48,640
Speaker 1: of this stuff. Like I'm super tired. I tell people

437
00:20:48,640 --> 00:20:51,280
Speaker 1: all the time I'm tired, Like I don't I don't

438
00:20:51,280 --> 00:20:53,520
Speaker 1: think you understand what I mean by when I say

439
00:20:53,560 --> 00:20:57,040
Speaker 1: I'm tired, you know, but they don't understand that It's

440
00:20:57,040 --> 00:20:58,920
Speaker 1: not like I had to go to sleep tie. It's

441
00:20:58,920 --> 00:21:03,160
Speaker 1: like a physical time, right, like being tired. So when

442
00:21:03,160 --> 00:21:05,639
Speaker 1: everything gets like I have my MOMENTU it's like I'm

443
00:21:05,720 --> 00:21:07,720
Speaker 1: going off because I'm like, you know, I really do

444
00:21:07,840 --> 00:21:11,160
Speaker 1: feel like, you know, my family and my siblings could

445
00:21:11,240 --> 00:21:13,600
Speaker 1: could come a little bit more like I really do,

446
00:21:13,720 --> 00:21:15,440
Speaker 1: so I get frustrated at that. So I'm just trying

447
00:21:15,480 --> 00:21:18,240
Speaker 1: to build community to where you know, I could I

448
00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:21,840
Speaker 1: could manage being a working mom and still taking care

449
00:21:21,840 --> 00:21:25,600
Speaker 1: of everything. Um, you know, you know, I just I

450
00:21:25,760 --> 00:21:28,879
Speaker 1: just need a little bit more support, resources and stuff

451
00:21:28,880 --> 00:21:31,440
Speaker 1: like that. But I'm identifying those things so that we

452
00:21:31,480 --> 00:21:33,040
Speaker 1: can have it. So I've always say that I'm fully

453
00:21:33,080 --> 00:21:37,040
Speaker 1: bare and I don't fully don't um fully have it together,

454
00:21:37,520 --> 00:21:40,639
Speaker 1: but I'm working on it. I miss I misshandled it.

455
00:21:42,040 --> 00:21:44,359
Speaker 1: That's somebody says the grab handle that I know misshandling,

456
00:21:44,400 --> 00:21:46,240
Speaker 1: and I'm just like, you know what, I should have

457
00:21:46,280 --> 00:21:51,080
Speaker 1: stole that right as you get it done, you need

458
00:21:51,280 --> 00:21:54,679
Speaker 1: necessary yes, And I'm just like, and sometimes you get

459
00:21:54,720 --> 00:21:58,600
Speaker 1: tired of getting ship done and yourself, yes, you get

460
00:21:59,160 --> 00:22:01,119
Speaker 1: getting things done. Sometimes I'm just like, you know, I

461
00:22:01,160 --> 00:22:02,960
Speaker 1: don't want to do anything, like I'm not doing this.

462
00:22:03,119 --> 00:22:05,520
Speaker 1: I'm not doing that. I'm not doing this. So like

463
00:22:05,680 --> 00:22:07,000
Speaker 1: I put it, I put on my lips like nope,

464
00:22:07,000 --> 00:22:09,159
Speaker 1: I'm not doing this, I'm not doing that. Um, I

465
00:22:09,200 --> 00:22:10,560
Speaker 1: could do this, I could do a little bit of that,

466
00:22:10,760 --> 00:22:14,720
Speaker 1: and um, it's been working. It's been working. In what

467
00:22:14,920 --> 00:22:19,800
Speaker 1: ways did grief affect your family, um a lot, Like

468
00:22:19,960 --> 00:22:23,199
Speaker 1: there's not a lot of togetherness. Yeah. You mentioned your

469
00:22:23,200 --> 00:22:25,320
Speaker 1: book how your dad was the patriarch and the family

470
00:22:25,400 --> 00:22:28,560
Speaker 1: and how like he held you all together, right, because

471
00:22:28,600 --> 00:22:30,840
Speaker 1: a lot of things about my family I really didn't

472
00:22:30,880 --> 00:22:33,719
Speaker 1: know until after my father passed away. So finding out

473
00:22:33,760 --> 00:22:35,359
Speaker 1: some of those things was just like, oh, it's just

474
00:22:35,440 --> 00:22:39,440
Speaker 1: like a shell shock. So, um, you know, he was

475
00:22:39,480 --> 00:22:41,720
Speaker 1: the one that you know, we have get together, we

476
00:22:41,800 --> 00:22:43,520
Speaker 1: do this, we do that, so you know we know

477
00:22:43,600 --> 00:22:46,960
Speaker 1: about events and stuff that's happening because of him or whatever.

478
00:22:47,080 --> 00:22:50,879
Speaker 1: So yeah, it was it's it's not a lot of togetherness, right.

479
00:22:51,880 --> 00:22:55,520
Speaker 1: And you mentioned also with your brothers how how because

480
00:22:55,560 --> 00:22:58,280
Speaker 1: grief affect all of us differently. But you mentioned, like

481
00:22:58,359 --> 00:23:00,359
Speaker 1: with your sister Erica, which we're talking about on a

482
00:23:00,440 --> 00:23:03,520
Speaker 1: few like she if it made her like go even harder,

483
00:23:03,640 --> 00:23:06,160
Speaker 1: like we're protesting, like just trying to get things done.

484
00:23:06,720 --> 00:23:08,959
Speaker 1: With you it kind of you was kind of closed

485
00:23:08,960 --> 00:23:11,200
Speaker 1: off for it, Mane, but then you eventually found your voice,

486
00:23:11,600 --> 00:23:13,359
Speaker 1: and like with your brothers, you talked about how they

487
00:23:13,520 --> 00:23:17,399
Speaker 1: just like kind of shut down. Mm hmm. While my

488
00:23:17,480 --> 00:23:20,200
Speaker 1: youngest brother he's still shut down. I don't I don't

489
00:23:20,200 --> 00:23:22,000
Speaker 1: know what it's gonna take for him. Like I really

490
00:23:22,119 --> 00:23:25,920
Speaker 1: honestly really don't know um My other brother, Like I

491
00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:29,959
Speaker 1: don't know if it's phases with him. Um. And then

492
00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:32,880
Speaker 1: I have another sister right now. She's um My mom

493
00:23:33,119 --> 00:23:36,080
Speaker 1: My Mom's oldest daughter. She's battling breast cancer. She doesn't

494
00:23:36,080 --> 00:23:38,720
Speaker 1: really talk. She doesn't you know, talk, speak out or whatever.

495
00:23:38,760 --> 00:23:41,320
Speaker 1: She's probably gonna kill me for saying this on the podcast,

496
00:23:41,480 --> 00:23:44,359
Speaker 1: but you know she's We're standing there out of theority

497
00:23:44,400 --> 00:23:46,159
Speaker 1: with her well, supporting her as much as as much

498
00:23:46,160 --> 00:23:48,400
Speaker 1: as she wanted to be supported. Because I always say,

499
00:23:48,480 --> 00:23:50,520
Speaker 1: like I want to meet people where they are because

500
00:23:50,520 --> 00:23:52,080
Speaker 1: I would like to have been met where I was,

501
00:23:52,720 --> 00:23:54,560
Speaker 1: and you know, instead of somebody coming at me with

502
00:23:54,640 --> 00:23:56,000
Speaker 1: it you should do this, and you should do that.

503
00:23:56,480 --> 00:23:58,440
Speaker 1: I wish that people were more patient and saying what

504
00:23:58,560 --> 00:24:00,399
Speaker 1: is it that you need so that we can do

505
00:24:00,560 --> 00:24:03,560
Speaker 1: these things you need to help you out to make

506
00:24:03,600 --> 00:24:06,080
Speaker 1: it easier for you to accomplish these goals. So I

507
00:24:06,200 --> 00:24:07,680
Speaker 1: just wish that it was a little bit more of that.

508
00:24:08,119 --> 00:24:10,200
Speaker 1: So I try to give people grace in that way,

509
00:24:10,640 --> 00:24:12,480
Speaker 1: like you know what, I'll try to meet you where

510
00:24:12,480 --> 00:24:14,400
Speaker 1: you are, Like I have a support group on Mondays,

511
00:24:14,760 --> 00:24:16,320
Speaker 1: and when I speak to the women, I'm like, what

512
00:24:16,480 --> 00:24:19,120
Speaker 1: is it that you need? And my dear, my dear

513
00:24:19,200 --> 00:24:22,119
Speaker 1: Darlene mcveay. You know, she lost her son, Dante, and

514
00:24:22,680 --> 00:24:24,440
Speaker 1: you know that was her only son. And I feel

515
00:24:24,520 --> 00:24:27,520
Speaker 1: so hard for her, like, like my heart literally hurts

516
00:24:27,560 --> 00:24:30,560
Speaker 1: for her, like and and you know, I just don't

517
00:24:30,720 --> 00:24:33,040
Speaker 1: know what to do and what type of support. And

518
00:24:33,080 --> 00:24:35,520
Speaker 1: I know that the conversations are helpful, but I'm just

519
00:24:35,600 --> 00:24:37,520
Speaker 1: always racking my brain about what what do you need?

520
00:24:37,600 --> 00:24:38,760
Speaker 1: What do you need? And then the things that I

521
00:24:38,840 --> 00:24:41,760
Speaker 1: suggest are not things that she needs. So we're still

522
00:24:41,800 --> 00:24:43,640
Speaker 1: trying to figure out what it is that she needed.

523
00:24:43,640 --> 00:24:45,320
Speaker 1: And I'm like, you need to break something, you need

524
00:24:45,359 --> 00:24:49,840
Speaker 1: to punch somebody. I'm like, I'm difficul because I think

525
00:24:50,000 --> 00:24:52,359
Speaker 1: that that's gonna work for guilt, Like I just need

526
00:24:52,400 --> 00:24:54,520
Speaker 1: you to let that aggression out in that way so

527
00:24:54,640 --> 00:24:56,240
Speaker 1: that we can figure out what the next thing is

528
00:24:56,680 --> 00:24:58,399
Speaker 1: that's gonna help. And a lot of what I hear

529
00:24:58,440 --> 00:25:00,840
Speaker 1: from her is I don't feel this report. I'll put

530
00:25:00,880 --> 00:25:03,399
Speaker 1: the call out. And you know when activists put the

531
00:25:03,480 --> 00:25:05,600
Speaker 1: call out, they get a thousand people to come out.

532
00:25:05,640 --> 00:25:07,560
Speaker 1: When I put the call out and get ten, only

533
00:25:07,600 --> 00:25:09,600
Speaker 1: get fifteen or whatever, and I was just like, I

534
00:25:09,680 --> 00:25:11,320
Speaker 1: know that feeling. I was like, if you go back

535
00:25:11,320 --> 00:25:13,080
Speaker 1: and look at most of the things that I did

536
00:25:13,119 --> 00:25:14,879
Speaker 1: and most of these Erica did, we did it by ourself.

537
00:25:15,160 --> 00:25:17,280
Speaker 1: The only thing we wasn't scared to do things by

538
00:25:17,280 --> 00:25:19,240
Speaker 1: myself because we was used to doing things by myself.

539
00:25:19,600 --> 00:25:22,600
Speaker 1: Like we're standing on our own and standing alone and

540
00:25:22,720 --> 00:25:24,760
Speaker 1: doing things like that's just what we were used to.

541
00:25:24,920 --> 00:25:27,359
Speaker 1: So so I don't care if it's one person or

542
00:25:27,440 --> 00:25:29,480
Speaker 1: a thousand people, I'll still be out there. When I

543
00:25:29,560 --> 00:25:31,480
Speaker 1: took it, wasn't nobody ready to go to jail with me,

544
00:25:31,560 --> 00:25:33,119
Speaker 1: but I was fully ready to go to jail. I

545
00:25:33,240 --> 00:25:34,679
Speaker 1: was like, I don't care what this means. I'm going

546
00:25:34,720 --> 00:25:37,320
Speaker 1: to jail. Somebody go get the kids because it's going down.

547
00:25:37,600 --> 00:25:39,280
Speaker 1: And I took the bridge, and then you know when

548
00:25:39,280 --> 00:25:41,679
Speaker 1: I saw two people jump over shout out to areas

549
00:25:41,720 --> 00:25:43,600
Speaker 1: when he hopped that gate, and he was like, I

550
00:25:43,640 --> 00:25:45,159
Speaker 1: ain't gonna be in the same jail cell with you,

551
00:25:45,240 --> 00:25:47,040
Speaker 1: but we're gonna go to jail together. And I was

552
00:25:47,080 --> 00:25:49,879
Speaker 1: just like, my guys, I was like one person, okay.

553
00:25:50,119 --> 00:25:52,480
Speaker 1: And then we went to one police plaza put the

554
00:25:52,560 --> 00:25:55,200
Speaker 1: call out. People weren't laying down on the floor with me,

555
00:25:55,359 --> 00:25:58,520
Speaker 1: but Joa she got down. She had on a summer dress.

556
00:25:58,760 --> 00:26:00,800
Speaker 1: My girl had on a summer dres the flip flop say.

557
00:26:00,880 --> 00:26:02,480
Speaker 1: She got down on the floor and she was like, no,

558
00:26:02,680 --> 00:26:04,840
Speaker 1: just no thing. And I was just like, that's my girl.

559
00:26:05,040 --> 00:26:06,840
Speaker 1: And I'm like, you know, just to have just that

560
00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:09,600
Speaker 1: one person or those two people like my girl treat

561
00:26:09,640 --> 00:26:11,840
Speaker 1: she didn't have no voice. She was on that bow horn.

562
00:26:11,920 --> 00:26:15,080
Speaker 1: She was going, I don't have no voice. She didn't

563
00:26:15,080 --> 00:26:17,080
Speaker 1: have no voice, and she was out there screaming at

564
00:26:17,119 --> 00:26:18,399
Speaker 1: the top of her lungs in front of that. So

565
00:26:18,480 --> 00:26:20,920
Speaker 1: I was just like, those were the moments that we needed.

566
00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:23,440
Speaker 1: Those were the things. I was just like, you know what,

567
00:26:23,800 --> 00:26:26,080
Speaker 1: Let's go take the bridge, let's go to the site,

568
00:26:26,320 --> 00:26:28,200
Speaker 1: let's go here, and let's go pull up that greasy

569
00:26:28,280 --> 00:26:30,440
Speaker 1: match and let's go do this. Like when I was

570
00:26:30,520 --> 00:26:32,080
Speaker 1: ready to do it, you had those key people that

571
00:26:32,119 --> 00:26:34,439
Speaker 1: I was ready to go, and that was a good feeling.

572
00:26:34,800 --> 00:26:37,440
Speaker 1: And that's what I want um darling to feel like.

573
00:26:37,720 --> 00:26:39,840
Speaker 1: I want her to feel like she has the support,

574
00:26:40,119 --> 00:26:41,639
Speaker 1: and it's hard to feel like you have the support

575
00:26:41,680 --> 00:26:44,520
Speaker 1: when you don't see the people. So um, I just

576
00:26:44,560 --> 00:26:47,480
Speaker 1: always encourage people to support in any way that they can.

577
00:26:47,920 --> 00:26:51,000
Speaker 1: And it doesn't always mean money. That means showing up.

578
00:26:52,400 --> 00:26:54,080
Speaker 1: When she puts on in the vent and she's doing

579
00:26:54,119 --> 00:26:57,000
Speaker 1: a memorial for her son, show up. I'm not asking

580
00:26:57,000 --> 00:26:58,800
Speaker 1: you to spend money now she's doing nothing to show up.

581
00:26:59,359 --> 00:27:02,200
Speaker 1: Why do you do that? People support the organizations but

582
00:27:02,320 --> 00:27:06,240
Speaker 1: not the people, like the families, like you or your sister.

583
00:27:06,359 --> 00:27:08,400
Speaker 1: Because y'all was doing a lot of things by yourselves

584
00:27:08,440 --> 00:27:11,440
Speaker 1: for a long time. But then you would see what

585
00:27:12,280 --> 00:27:15,560
Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure you kept seeing. I can't breathe everywhere,

586
00:27:16,119 --> 00:27:19,159
Speaker 1: and y'all weren't really don't even benefit from that. It

587
00:27:19,320 --> 00:27:22,720
Speaker 1: wasn't a big benefit like we benefit in ways of

588
00:27:22,880 --> 00:27:25,160
Speaker 1: being on the TV. You know, we got cut books

589
00:27:25,160 --> 00:27:27,440
Speaker 1: for a couple of speaking engagements. What people want to

590
00:27:27,440 --> 00:27:29,000
Speaker 1: talk to the activist ins that it took to the

591
00:27:29,080 --> 00:27:31,520
Speaker 1: people I got to I haven't got to the bottom

592
00:27:31,560 --> 00:27:33,440
Speaker 1: of that yet. Maybe better be in the next book.

593
00:27:33,640 --> 00:27:35,520
Speaker 1: But if you look at my interview with reverencehoct and

594
00:27:35,560 --> 00:27:38,480
Speaker 1: I definitely asked that I accept like you've been around

595
00:27:38,520 --> 00:27:40,720
Speaker 1: a long time. You've been around you've seen all of

596
00:27:40,800 --> 00:27:44,080
Speaker 1: these organizations and all of these places, like why like

597
00:27:44,240 --> 00:27:46,480
Speaker 1: why why is it like this? And he don't even

598
00:27:46,560 --> 00:27:48,879
Speaker 1: know and it's just like it's just it's just like

599
00:27:49,040 --> 00:27:52,480
Speaker 1: a social justice curse. I don't know what this purse

600
00:27:52,720 --> 00:27:55,440
Speaker 1: is in this dark cloud that's over people that just

601
00:27:55,560 --> 00:28:00,479
Speaker 1: can't get it together. Like when I'm in benefitt benefit,

602
00:28:00,560 --> 00:28:02,320
Speaker 1: I meant like, because a lot of people was also

603
00:28:02,400 --> 00:28:04,960
Speaker 1: profitent offer, I can't breathe or say her name or

604
00:28:05,040 --> 00:28:12,360
Speaker 1: say his name and exactly the money like so there

605
00:28:12,440 --> 00:28:14,399
Speaker 1: was a lawsuit everybody, and there was seven people on

606
00:28:14,440 --> 00:28:15,760
Speaker 1: the lawsuits. So please don't think that I have a

607
00:28:15,800 --> 00:28:18,320
Speaker 1: million bounds in my big help because I don't. Um,

608
00:28:19,080 --> 00:28:21,600
Speaker 1: but um, yeah, like we didn't benefit off of that,

609
00:28:21,800 --> 00:28:23,640
Speaker 1: Like you know, I just I just got my father

610
00:28:23,800 --> 00:28:29,200
Speaker 1: one C three status, my nonprofit status from from my organization. Um.

611
00:28:29,400 --> 00:28:31,399
Speaker 1: You know, we're working with some good organizations. We have

612
00:28:31,520 --> 00:28:34,240
Speaker 1: a fiscal sponsor because a lot of things I didn't understand.

613
00:28:34,240 --> 00:28:36,840
Speaker 1: I didn't go to school for business management and all

614
00:28:36,920 --> 00:28:39,000
Speaker 1: of this other stuff, but I work with people that did.

615
00:28:39,440 --> 00:28:41,640
Speaker 1: So that's how I learned a lot of the things

616
00:28:41,680 --> 00:28:44,239
Speaker 1: that I learned. So I think that um, a lot

617
00:28:44,320 --> 00:28:47,880
Speaker 1: of people mishandle UM some of the things that they're

618
00:28:47,880 --> 00:28:50,760
Speaker 1: supposed to be doing with the money that they're receiving,

619
00:28:51,240 --> 00:28:53,920
Speaker 1: and you know, it's unfortunate that the families don't really

620
00:28:54,440 --> 00:28:57,360
Speaker 1: get any of that you know, that funding. But there

621
00:28:57,400 --> 00:29:00,080
Speaker 1: are organizations that do do what they have to do

622
00:29:00,480 --> 00:29:04,520
Speaker 1: that support UM people. And I definitely shout out to

623
00:29:04,560 --> 00:29:07,280
Speaker 1: the Huddle and to Rever Shopton's office for you know,

624
00:29:07,400 --> 00:29:09,440
Speaker 1: being the support because they always did, you know, even

625
00:29:09,520 --> 00:29:11,400
Speaker 1: when you know, I was I was on my little

626
00:29:11,480 --> 00:29:13,240
Speaker 1: ranch and I was mad, and I was in front

627
00:29:13,240 --> 00:29:15,360
Speaker 1: of the courthouse going off. Ver Shopton didn't getting his

628
00:29:15,400 --> 00:29:19,400
Speaker 1: car and drive off. I was like, I did it. Now,

629
00:29:19,640 --> 00:29:22,080
Speaker 1: this man is never gonna talk to me again. I

630
00:29:22,240 --> 00:29:23,800
Speaker 1: was like, I talked the paper and I told the

631
00:29:23,840 --> 00:29:25,920
Speaker 1: federal govern me you know what it's like, the officers

632
00:29:26,000 --> 00:29:28,040
Speaker 1: forget you. And I talked the paper, what's the room

633
00:29:28,360 --> 00:29:30,560
Speaker 1: and I walked out. It was it was like my

634
00:29:30,680 --> 00:29:32,920
Speaker 1: body wasn't even there. And I was like it was man,

635
00:29:33,160 --> 00:29:36,160
Speaker 1: this was like but he understood. And that's that's when

636
00:29:36,200 --> 00:29:38,680
Speaker 1: I was like, okay, like you understand me, you get me.

637
00:29:38,760 --> 00:29:41,720
Speaker 1: You're like, no, she's mad, like she's she's upsett. What

638
00:29:41,880 --> 00:29:44,360
Speaker 1: y'all need to see? Like you you do you see

639
00:29:44,360 --> 00:29:46,600
Speaker 1: the suite in the calm when you see my grandmother

640
00:29:46,680 --> 00:29:48,160
Speaker 1: on TV and all that stuff, It's like, no, for

641
00:29:48,280 --> 00:29:50,920
Speaker 1: get the calm, Like, don't tell me you want you're

642
00:29:50,960 --> 00:29:53,760
Speaker 1: giving me coudo. This is again and you're still killing people. Yeah,

643
00:29:53,920 --> 00:29:55,800
Speaker 1: like it's pointless. So it was just like it was

644
00:29:55,840 --> 00:29:57,920
Speaker 1: a build up and I went off and I was

645
00:29:58,000 --> 00:30:00,600
Speaker 1: just like, oh, y'are still here, Okay, thank you very much.

646
00:30:00,640 --> 00:30:03,640
Speaker 1: I was still supporting me because I lost it. I'm like,

647
00:30:03,680 --> 00:30:05,560
Speaker 1: come on, like people thought that was your coming to

648
00:30:05,600 --> 00:30:07,440
Speaker 1: activists moment though. That was a mental breakdown and I

649
00:30:07,520 --> 00:30:09,720
Speaker 1: was asked for help, and and after that day, I

650
00:30:09,800 --> 00:30:11,560
Speaker 1: did ask for help and I needed the help and

651
00:30:11,640 --> 00:30:15,240
Speaker 1: I received the help that I needed. I didn't even

652
00:30:15,240 --> 00:30:16,840
Speaker 1: think about that. That's a good way to put its

653
00:30:17,200 --> 00:30:22,400
Speaker 1: social social justice curse. Yeah, I didn't even think about that.

654
00:30:22,760 --> 00:30:26,719
Speaker 1: Do you think activists help or hurt cases? I think

655
00:30:26,760 --> 00:30:31,160
Speaker 1: it's both. I think that the activists that are intentional

656
00:30:31,440 --> 00:30:36,520
Speaker 1: about um that I'll tell you about helping people. They

657
00:30:36,560 --> 00:30:39,240
Speaker 1: are activists that are intentional about helping people will go

658
00:30:39,280 --> 00:30:43,720
Speaker 1: about the wrong way. Activists that have that mean well,

659
00:30:44,800 --> 00:30:47,800
Speaker 1: but they don't have the best methods because I've seen

660
00:30:47,800 --> 00:30:49,920
Speaker 1: I've seen a lot, and I've I've I've heard it

661
00:30:50,000 --> 00:30:53,240
Speaker 1: from other other survivors about how they've been treated and

662
00:30:53,400 --> 00:30:55,440
Speaker 1: that may not been my experience, that may not have

663
00:30:55,560 --> 00:30:57,600
Speaker 1: been the person next to me experience, but that was

664
00:30:57,680 --> 00:31:01,080
Speaker 1: their experience. And I know everybody's experiences their experience. So

665
00:31:01,320 --> 00:31:04,120
Speaker 1: I just say that I always try to handle people

666
00:31:04,200 --> 00:31:05,800
Speaker 1: with grace and give them a little bit of grace,

667
00:31:05,880 --> 00:31:08,720
Speaker 1: like are you intentionally trying to do this or are

668
00:31:08,800 --> 00:31:11,560
Speaker 1: you doing this by accident? And we have a chance

669
00:31:11,600 --> 00:31:14,520
Speaker 1: to fix it? Like you know, for me, it's about accountability.

670
00:31:15,240 --> 00:31:19,200
Speaker 1: Excuse me. If I'm gonna hold these officers accountable, and

671
00:31:19,280 --> 00:31:21,520
Speaker 1: we want to hold these politicians that everybody accountable, we

672
00:31:21,560 --> 00:31:24,320
Speaker 1: should be able to hold ourselves accountable for the things

673
00:31:24,400 --> 00:31:27,480
Speaker 1: that we do and how we move. Excuse me. So

674
00:31:27,560 --> 00:31:29,760
Speaker 1: when I hear a lot of people talk about, um,

675
00:31:30,120 --> 00:31:32,720
Speaker 1: the black lives matter stuff and you know, the money

676
00:31:32,800 --> 00:31:35,040
Speaker 1: and all this other stuff, and I'm just like, what

677
00:31:35,240 --> 00:31:39,440
Speaker 1: is the breakdown? You know, what is what is the evidence? Um?

678
00:31:39,960 --> 00:31:42,720
Speaker 1: What is the accountability? Like I didn't follow the story,

679
00:31:42,720 --> 00:31:44,040
Speaker 1: I don't know details and I just got some new

680
00:31:44,080 --> 00:31:45,960
Speaker 1: information that I didn't even know the other day during

681
00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:50,000
Speaker 1: an interview, So you know, I comment, I was just

682
00:31:50,120 --> 00:31:52,480
Speaker 1: you know that the that the evidence came out, like

683
00:31:52,640 --> 00:31:55,160
Speaker 1: whatever evidence that they would saying where the money went

684
00:31:55,280 --> 00:31:56,840
Speaker 1: that came out, I was like, I don't know where

685
00:31:56,840 --> 00:31:59,760
Speaker 1: I was. I missed that. So I didn't hollow I

686
00:31:59,800 --> 00:32:03,120
Speaker 1: did honestly. Then, I do not follow these stories because

687
00:32:03,480 --> 00:32:05,240
Speaker 1: I don't have opinion and I don't know these people.

688
00:32:05,240 --> 00:32:08,040
Speaker 1: I didn't directly encounter them. So you know, I feel

689
00:32:08,080 --> 00:32:10,280
Speaker 1: bad for the people who were affected, but I did

690
00:32:10,400 --> 00:32:12,280
Speaker 1: not follow. I just don't have the capacity. Like I

691
00:32:12,360 --> 00:32:14,720
Speaker 1: have three kids, that money ain't come to me. That's

692
00:32:14,720 --> 00:32:17,400
Speaker 1: all I know. That's all I know. Like if it

693
00:32:17,440 --> 00:32:20,120
Speaker 1: didn't come to me, if it did, I wouldn't let

694
00:32:20,120 --> 00:32:22,880
Speaker 1: you know, you know, like we wouldn't we wouldn't be

695
00:32:22,920 --> 00:32:25,200
Speaker 1: in a small apartment. We have been a much bigger apartment.

696
00:32:25,680 --> 00:32:27,000
Speaker 1: If we have some of that money that would have

697
00:32:27,040 --> 00:32:29,760
Speaker 1: helped us. I'm not gonna lie though the little details

698
00:32:29,800 --> 00:32:34,640
Speaker 1: I do know, if it is true, that's fucked up, right,

699
00:32:34,720 --> 00:32:36,560
Speaker 1: Like I mean, like I just want people to be

700
00:32:36,600 --> 00:32:41,000
Speaker 1: held accountable, to understand, and you know, I think that people.

701
00:32:41,080 --> 00:32:42,960
Speaker 1: And I said in another interview that people should do

702
00:32:43,120 --> 00:32:47,040
Speaker 1: more research and sending their money because you know, this

703
00:32:47,160 --> 00:32:48,800
Speaker 1: is even from back in the day, like I remember,

704
00:32:48,840 --> 00:32:51,080
Speaker 1: oh ms Cleo called me now for your free stych agreement.

705
00:32:52,640 --> 00:32:56,520
Speaker 1: So it's it's it happens. But we just gotta be

706
00:32:56,600 --> 00:32:58,360
Speaker 1: more careful about some of the things that we do.

707
00:32:58,560 --> 00:33:01,400
Speaker 1: And when people talk, listen, do them. And sometimes people

708
00:33:01,400 --> 00:33:03,719
Speaker 1: don't have the best ways of expressing themselves because they

709
00:33:03,800 --> 00:33:06,880
Speaker 1: were affected by police brutality, their loved one was killed,

710
00:33:06,920 --> 00:33:09,760
Speaker 1: and now their whole life is splattered across the world,

711
00:33:09,840 --> 00:33:11,760
Speaker 1: and the whole world thinks that they know you, and

712
00:33:12,120 --> 00:33:14,600
Speaker 1: just because they have a conversation with one person, that

713
00:33:14,760 --> 00:33:18,840
Speaker 1: affects everybody and go like like like let's take a minute,

714
00:33:19,080 --> 00:33:20,719
Speaker 1: let's let's try to figure out where it is. That's

715
00:33:20,720 --> 00:33:23,400
Speaker 1: why with my organization, you know, I figured out, like

716
00:33:23,600 --> 00:33:25,160
Speaker 1: you know, some of the things that I wanted to

717
00:33:25,440 --> 00:33:26,920
Speaker 1: do and some of the things that I didn't want

718
00:33:26,920 --> 00:33:28,520
Speaker 1: to do, And it's like, you know, we get to

719
00:33:28,880 --> 00:33:30,840
Speaker 1: have these things and it's like I want to focus

720
00:33:30,960 --> 00:33:33,360
Speaker 1: on mental health. I want to focus on youth and

721
00:33:33,440 --> 00:33:36,280
Speaker 1: mental health. I want to focus on crisis situation. These

722
00:33:36,320 --> 00:33:37,560
Speaker 1: are the things that I want to focus on. I

723
00:33:37,640 --> 00:33:41,440
Speaker 1: don't want to have to focus on choke codes because

724
00:33:41,480 --> 00:33:43,840
Speaker 1: that's emotional for me. Like you know, I'm always gonna

725
00:33:43,880 --> 00:33:46,640
Speaker 1: fight for the federal for the federal government to pass

726
00:33:46,720 --> 00:33:49,400
Speaker 1: the law um for the Errogarden chocod bill. But the

727
00:33:49,480 --> 00:33:51,680
Speaker 1: reality for me is that cop is never going to jail,

728
00:33:52,120 --> 00:33:54,000
Speaker 1: that cop is never gonna be held accountable. None of

729
00:33:54,040 --> 00:33:55,760
Speaker 1: the officers and none of the people involved in my

730
00:33:55,800 --> 00:33:59,040
Speaker 1: father's that are gonna be held accountable. So I gotta

731
00:33:59,080 --> 00:34:01,040
Speaker 1: do what I gotta do to help out the people

732
00:34:01,400 --> 00:34:04,760
Speaker 1: that were effective before me and people are affected after me,

733
00:34:05,200 --> 00:34:06,680
Speaker 1: and that that's really all I could do. And I

734
00:34:06,760 --> 00:34:10,160
Speaker 1: don't blame anybody for, you know, the the amount of

735
00:34:10,200 --> 00:34:12,399
Speaker 1: help that they gave me or didn't give me. People

736
00:34:12,440 --> 00:34:13,799
Speaker 1: do what they want to do, people do what they

737
00:34:13,840 --> 00:34:16,800
Speaker 1: have to do. But I just say that, you know,

738
00:34:17,480 --> 00:34:19,479
Speaker 1: if it's if it's true, like you said, it's wrong,

739
00:34:19,640 --> 00:34:21,680
Speaker 1: like you need to know that what you did was wrong.

740
00:34:21,800 --> 00:34:26,080
Speaker 1: But if it's true, and there there's explanations and there's

741
00:34:26,160 --> 00:34:28,719
Speaker 1: you know, there's you know a lot of things that

742
00:34:28,880 --> 00:34:31,359
Speaker 1: that weren't wasn't put out to the public, Like it's

743
00:34:31,360 --> 00:34:32,920
Speaker 1: a lot of things that people don't know, like what

744
00:34:33,280 --> 00:34:34,800
Speaker 1: are those things? Because I still need to know what

745
00:34:34,840 --> 00:34:38,440
Speaker 1: happened to my father too, So it's still it's all

746
00:34:38,440 --> 00:34:40,480
Speaker 1: about finding out and what are we what are we

747
00:34:40,520 --> 00:34:43,239
Speaker 1: going to find out? I would rather them come out

748
00:34:43,239 --> 00:34:46,120
Speaker 1: and say what happened and what was done, then to say, oh,

749
00:34:46,239 --> 00:34:48,040
Speaker 1: now this is coming out in the news and it

750
00:34:48,120 --> 00:34:51,600
Speaker 1: makes you look extra bad. Just what happened, What happened

751
00:34:51,600 --> 00:34:54,279
Speaker 1: to the money, What happpened. That's what people want to know.

752
00:34:54,440 --> 00:34:56,240
Speaker 1: And I feel like you should talk about it instead

753
00:34:56,280 --> 00:35:00,759
Speaker 1: of not talking because being talked about anyway. I didn't

754
00:35:00,760 --> 00:35:02,279
Speaker 1: want to be talked about, but I was being talked

755
00:35:02,280 --> 00:35:08,439
Speaker 1: about anyway by anybody. They were saying anything. So I wanted.

756
00:35:08,480 --> 00:35:10,879
Speaker 1: I wanted to write my book and get get people

757
00:35:10,960 --> 00:35:13,279
Speaker 1: to know, this is my story, this is what I did.

758
00:35:13,360 --> 00:35:15,320
Speaker 1: I don't know a by everybody else. I don't know

759
00:35:15,400 --> 00:35:17,120
Speaker 1: what happened over there. I don't know what happened over there,

760
00:35:17,120 --> 00:35:19,560
Speaker 1: but I know what happened to me, So that's all

761
00:35:19,600 --> 00:35:21,759
Speaker 1: I can share. So I just encourage people to step

762
00:35:21,880 --> 00:35:25,759
Speaker 1: up and speak out, speak your truth right. Tell us

763
00:35:25,760 --> 00:35:28,120
Speaker 1: about your sister Erica, because I felt like she was

764
00:35:28,239 --> 00:35:31,320
Speaker 1: like she kept her foot on their next like she

765
00:35:31,480 --> 00:35:34,360
Speaker 1: was not playing. She protested in front of the police

766
00:35:34,400 --> 00:35:37,920
Speaker 1: station for two years straight Tuesdays and Thursday, ran down

767
00:35:37,960 --> 00:35:40,239
Speaker 1: on the president. You know, she was up against the

768
00:35:40,239 --> 00:35:42,399
Speaker 1: Secret Service, like she did a lot. She did a lot,

769
00:35:42,920 --> 00:35:45,520
Speaker 1: and you know, she was ready to take the Verizono Bridge.

770
00:35:45,800 --> 00:35:48,200
Speaker 1: And I'm just like Verizono bridges federal government. So I

771
00:35:48,239 --> 00:35:50,239
Speaker 1: don't know if anybody got bail money that's gonna get

772
00:35:50,239 --> 00:35:53,120
Speaker 1: me out for the federal government. So, um, she she

773
00:35:53,280 --> 00:35:55,640
Speaker 1: did a lie. And you know, I commend her for

774
00:35:55,719 --> 00:35:57,680
Speaker 1: everything that she did, and I wish she was around

775
00:35:57,760 --> 00:36:00,320
Speaker 1: to see the staple that she made a history. And

776
00:36:00,800 --> 00:36:02,680
Speaker 1: and I always say with her, like she lost her mind,

777
00:36:03,320 --> 00:36:05,719
Speaker 1: she lost her heart. She she broke the world broke

778
00:36:05,760 --> 00:36:08,080
Speaker 1: her heart. So she didn't get the justice she deserved.

779
00:36:08,200 --> 00:36:11,680
Speaker 1: And I think that, um, a lot of people can

780
00:36:11,840 --> 00:36:14,080
Speaker 1: learn from her story. Can you know see from her

781
00:36:14,120 --> 00:36:17,720
Speaker 1: story that if you don't take care of you, there's

782
00:36:17,840 --> 00:36:22,279
Speaker 1: nothing's gonna be left right. And she at the age

783
00:36:22,320 --> 00:36:25,320
Speaker 1: of twenty seven, she died to a heart attack, and

784
00:36:25,400 --> 00:36:27,120
Speaker 1: I was like, damn, it had to be the grief

785
00:36:27,160 --> 00:36:29,160
Speaker 1: and the pain and everything she was feeling because I'm like,

786
00:36:29,400 --> 00:36:31,319
Speaker 1: I don't remember seeing her, like I mean, I don't

787
00:36:31,360 --> 00:36:33,960
Speaker 1: know her, but she didn't look sick or anything. And

788
00:36:34,600 --> 00:36:38,479
Speaker 1: your book, she never had any health. He'll have hard issues. Yeah,

789
00:36:38,560 --> 00:36:40,560
Speaker 1: who you call the hypochondriac. She had an asthma p

790
00:36:40,719 --> 00:36:44,000
Speaker 1: because I had asthma pup. She was sick because I

791
00:36:44,120 --> 00:36:46,680
Speaker 1: was sick. So you know, every time I had a cold,

792
00:36:46,760 --> 00:36:49,920
Speaker 1: she had a cold. It was twins so and then

793
00:36:49,960 --> 00:36:51,520
Speaker 1: but when we go to the doctor, she was never

794
00:36:51,640 --> 00:36:54,480
Speaker 1: really diagnosed with asthma or anything like that. So you know,

795
00:36:54,600 --> 00:36:57,760
Speaker 1: she was sick because I was sick. But she was fine,

796
00:36:57,920 --> 00:36:59,400
Speaker 1: like you know what I'm saying. That's what I always say,

797
00:36:59,440 --> 00:37:01,879
Speaker 1: Like she was fine, like you know, and and it's

798
00:37:01,880 --> 00:37:03,960
Speaker 1: just super unfortunate that she's not here to be one

799
00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:06,439
Speaker 1: of kids, you know, because I have them and I see,

800
00:37:06,480 --> 00:37:08,320
Speaker 1: you know, the sadness and stuff like that and my

801
00:37:08,400 --> 00:37:10,520
Speaker 1: niece and stuff like that. And that's that's the hurt

802
00:37:10,560 --> 00:37:12,480
Speaker 1: that won't go away. And you know, how do you

803
00:37:12,640 --> 00:37:15,000
Speaker 1: how do you help a young person like that? How

804
00:37:15,040 --> 00:37:16,680
Speaker 1: do you how do you do that? And I was like,

805
00:37:16,760 --> 00:37:19,799
Speaker 1: I don't I don't know because I had twenty two

806
00:37:19,880 --> 00:37:23,399
Speaker 1: years with my father, so she only had eight my mom,

807
00:37:23,560 --> 00:37:28,960
Speaker 1: so you know her. Um, after they announced that the

808
00:37:29,000 --> 00:37:34,680
Speaker 1: police officer was not gonna be arrested and he was fired.

809
00:37:35,200 --> 00:37:38,360
Speaker 1: We are you surprised about the outpours out the support

810
00:37:38,400 --> 00:37:42,080
Speaker 1: that she received from everyone around the world. No, I

811
00:37:42,200 --> 00:37:44,840
Speaker 1: was surprised that the video went viral because that was

812
00:37:44,920 --> 00:37:47,480
Speaker 1: the day that I went viral on the front losing

813
00:37:47,520 --> 00:37:49,320
Speaker 1: my mind, yelling in the spreeman. So I was just

814
00:37:49,680 --> 00:37:52,520
Speaker 1: I was just like I was kind of embarrassed. So

815
00:37:54,000 --> 00:37:56,040
Speaker 1: people supported me, but I felt like I was embarrassed, like,

816
00:37:56,080 --> 00:37:57,480
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, like I don't I don't want to

817
00:37:57,520 --> 00:37:59,560
Speaker 1: be seen in this way. I was already seeing her

818
00:37:59,680 --> 00:38:01,600
Speaker 1: and cry, now I'm seeing super bad. Now people are

819
00:38:01,640 --> 00:38:03,759
Speaker 1: just gonna just have this image of me just being

820
00:38:03,800 --> 00:38:06,120
Speaker 1: angry all the time. And that was that was the

821
00:38:06,160 --> 00:38:08,359
Speaker 1: first thing that came is in my mind. And um,

822
00:38:08,440 --> 00:38:10,360
Speaker 1: because at that time, all you think about the image,

823
00:38:10,400 --> 00:38:11,719
Speaker 1: What image are you putting out there? What do you

824
00:38:11,960 --> 00:38:14,320
Speaker 1: drain the world? And that's all everybody kept reminding you.

825
00:38:14,400 --> 00:38:16,080
Speaker 1: The lawyers, everybody is just like, oh, don't do this,

826
00:38:16,160 --> 00:38:17,839
Speaker 1: it might affect the case. Don't do that, it might

827
00:38:17,840 --> 00:38:19,279
Speaker 1: affect the case. Don't do this and might it's like

828
00:38:19,320 --> 00:38:21,200
Speaker 1: the case and it's just like affect what case because

829
00:38:21,200 --> 00:38:23,279
Speaker 1: nobody wants to jail. So it really didn't matter what

830
00:38:23,360 --> 00:38:25,080
Speaker 1: I did or what happened, is that that cop was

831
00:38:25,160 --> 00:38:28,120
Speaker 1: never going to jail anyway. That's just something that they

832
00:38:28,200 --> 00:38:30,520
Speaker 1: say because like I feel like, you know, if I

833
00:38:30,560 --> 00:38:32,520
Speaker 1: would have known that they was never gonna and dict

834
00:38:32,640 --> 00:38:34,520
Speaker 1: or having it's interested and that probably would have been

835
00:38:34,560 --> 00:38:36,160
Speaker 1: wilding out a little bit more than what I was.

836
00:38:36,440 --> 00:38:39,160
Speaker 1: Probably would have ran down on the president too. Yeah,

837
00:38:40,000 --> 00:38:43,640
Speaker 1: ran down a couple of folks exactly. Now, can you

838
00:38:43,760 --> 00:38:46,680
Speaker 1: let the listeners know what tell us about that Eric

839
00:38:46,760 --> 00:38:48,640
Speaker 1: Gardner law and what does some stuff to take when

840
00:38:48,680 --> 00:38:52,359
Speaker 1: it gets to when it comes to getting the law passed. UM.

841
00:38:52,480 --> 00:38:55,160
Speaker 1: So the Arwgarder Law is the anti chokeo bill that

842
00:38:55,280 --> 00:38:58,160
Speaker 1: was passed in New York State. UM. And you know

843
00:38:58,320 --> 00:39:02,280
Speaker 1: that comes with um with with charges like you'll be arrested,

844
00:39:02,360 --> 00:39:04,680
Speaker 1: you lose your job. That's for any type of officials,

845
00:39:04,760 --> 00:39:08,719
Speaker 1: police officers, correction officers, UM, even traffic cops. UM. So

846
00:39:08,920 --> 00:39:11,759
Speaker 1: that's for everybody under that falls of that category. And

847
00:39:11,840 --> 00:39:14,160
Speaker 1: we're hoping to make it a federal legislation. This year

848
00:39:14,200 --> 00:39:16,200
Speaker 1: will be the year to do that. We have the

849
00:39:16,239 --> 00:39:20,399
Speaker 1: support of UM Elizabeth Warren and UM Kirsten Jeila Brand

850
00:39:20,520 --> 00:39:23,640
Speaker 1: and you know, UM Senator car Hasty. We have we

851
00:39:23,719 --> 00:39:26,480
Speaker 1: have a lot of support from all of them and

852
00:39:26,880 --> 00:39:28,960
Speaker 1: UM you know, of course Eric Adams in New York,

853
00:39:29,040 --> 00:39:31,560
Speaker 1: he always supports UM. You know, he did he did

854
00:39:31,600 --> 00:39:33,120
Speaker 1: a lot of work with my grandmother. He did a

855
00:39:33,160 --> 00:39:36,720
Speaker 1: lot of support supporting things with UM. Some with everything

856
00:39:36,760 --> 00:39:39,400
Speaker 1: that we did, UM my sister's memorial, he came to.

857
00:39:39,920 --> 00:39:42,160
Speaker 1: So he's definitely very supportive. And you know, we have

858
00:39:42,280 --> 00:39:44,759
Speaker 1: the support from him to make this federal law or

859
00:39:44,840 --> 00:39:47,920
Speaker 1: federal like you know, past this federally. So you know,

860
00:39:48,080 --> 00:39:51,200
Speaker 1: it's just it just means a lot when people step

861
00:39:51,320 --> 00:39:54,520
Speaker 1: upside my petitions because that makes that makes a difference.

862
00:39:54,560 --> 00:39:56,879
Speaker 1: We got like a million signatures in like thirty days

863
00:39:57,000 --> 00:39:59,319
Speaker 1: or something like that. Like those things mean a lot

864
00:39:59,400 --> 00:40:02,040
Speaker 1: because the number ascount because when we send our petition,

865
00:40:02,440 --> 00:40:03,960
Speaker 1: like they don't want to get a stack of papers

866
00:40:04,040 --> 00:40:06,759
Speaker 1: this big signatures of people supporting stuff. But we're gonna

867
00:40:06,800 --> 00:40:08,880
Speaker 1: send it anyway. We're gonna put on the billboard, we're

868
00:40:08,880 --> 00:40:10,839
Speaker 1: gonna walk it up to the Capitol, Like those were

869
00:40:10,840 --> 00:40:12,120
Speaker 1: the type of things that we were gonna do. And

870
00:40:12,160 --> 00:40:14,080
Speaker 1: then they passed it and we were like, Okay, well

871
00:40:14,120 --> 00:40:15,960
Speaker 1: we don't need to waste that much paper because they

872
00:40:16,040 --> 00:40:18,880
Speaker 1: did it. But they knew if they did not pass

873
00:40:18,920 --> 00:40:20,799
Speaker 1: this law, we was gonna make no noise in New

874
00:40:20,880 --> 00:40:23,040
Speaker 1: York City. And I think you made another good point

875
00:40:23,080 --> 00:40:29,920
Speaker 1: on how we can support but make signing getting signatures. Yes, Um,

876
00:40:29,960 --> 00:40:32,600
Speaker 1: I have a petition now. Um, it's on my website

877
00:40:32,600 --> 00:40:34,919
Speaker 1: and it's also in my Instagram and um, we can't

878
00:40:34,920 --> 00:40:38,239
Speaker 1: breathe that net as my website. Um, and we just

879
00:40:38,320 --> 00:40:40,600
Speaker 1: have all of the postings up there. Um, the book

880
00:40:40,640 --> 00:40:43,480
Speaker 1: link is up there. Um you know the Healing Justice

881
00:40:43,480 --> 00:40:47,640
Speaker 1: support villages up there. Um. We're gonna start, um broadcasting

882
00:40:47,680 --> 00:40:50,080
Speaker 1: our meetings because I think that it's important for people

883
00:40:50,120 --> 00:40:52,640
Speaker 1: to know the stories. Because I'm hearing a lot of Oh,

884
00:40:52,680 --> 00:40:54,480
Speaker 1: I don't want to put this in the media, it's

885
00:40:54,520 --> 00:40:57,399
Speaker 1: gonna affect the case that I'm just like I've heard

886
00:40:57,480 --> 00:41:01,080
Speaker 1: that before. Let's move on. We're not gonna talk about

887
00:41:01,120 --> 00:41:02,600
Speaker 1: what the lawyers are taken care of, but we need

888
00:41:02,640 --> 00:41:04,880
Speaker 1: to talk about how does it affecting you? What do

889
00:41:04,960 --> 00:41:06,640
Speaker 1: you need to get you through the day because you

890
00:41:06,719 --> 00:41:08,359
Speaker 1: still gotta go to work every day knowing that you're

891
00:41:08,360 --> 00:41:10,279
Speaker 1: fighting the case for your child, and then you're on

892
00:41:10,400 --> 00:41:12,719
Speaker 1: the news today and tomorrow. You gotta get up and

893
00:41:12,760 --> 00:41:14,680
Speaker 1: go to work and be nice to people and do

894
00:41:14,840 --> 00:41:18,600
Speaker 1: this and do that and do exactly. So how is

895
00:41:18,640 --> 00:41:22,320
Speaker 1: this gonna work? Right? How important is it to have

896
00:41:22,520 --> 00:41:27,359
Speaker 1: white allies? Um? I don't. I don't hate white people,

897
00:41:27,560 --> 00:41:30,200
Speaker 1: So I don't know. You know, my grandmother was a

898
00:41:30,280 --> 00:41:33,279
Speaker 1: white woman. She was white and black. She her father

899
00:41:33,400 --> 00:41:36,239
Speaker 1: was a aesthetic Jew. Her mother was African American, So

900
00:41:36,680 --> 00:41:38,279
Speaker 1: you know, I don't. I don't hate white people. I

901
00:41:38,320 --> 00:41:40,719
Speaker 1: know that some people they feel a certain way black people.

902
00:41:40,840 --> 00:41:42,560
Speaker 1: You know, I don't like white people, but you know

903
00:41:42,680 --> 00:41:45,359
Speaker 1: what the reality is. My my great grandfather is white,

904
00:41:45,440 --> 00:41:47,440
Speaker 1: and you know I have the people in my blood.

905
00:41:47,800 --> 00:41:52,080
Speaker 1: But I support my white allies. You know, I have

906
00:41:52,200 --> 00:41:55,359
Speaker 1: to shout out to the Piece Alliance. Then that's that's

907
00:41:55,440 --> 00:41:59,000
Speaker 1: my She's a white lady and she understands, she gets it,

908
00:41:59,480 --> 00:42:02,759
Speaker 1: like she supportive, like she is so super supportive when

909
00:42:02,840 --> 00:42:05,520
Speaker 1: she did my link for my website. Um to do

910
00:42:05,840 --> 00:42:08,480
Speaker 1: to go to the Peace Alliance and creating the bar

911
00:42:08,600 --> 00:42:10,440
Speaker 1: cold so that people could just scan and sign the

912
00:42:10,480 --> 00:42:13,360
Speaker 1: petition and do it all these these you know, the

913
00:42:13,480 --> 00:42:16,120
Speaker 1: creative things that I should know, but I'm I don't know, um,

914
00:42:16,280 --> 00:42:19,440
Speaker 1: And she's just like super supportive and letting me know things. Um,

915
00:42:19,680 --> 00:42:21,560
Speaker 1: you know, I'm actually in the in the running for

916
00:42:21,640 --> 00:42:24,080
Speaker 1: being a board member on the Peace Alliance, and you

917
00:42:24,160 --> 00:42:26,960
Speaker 1: know what it's like. Yeah, so I'm like, I really,

918
00:42:27,080 --> 00:42:30,120
Speaker 1: I really thank people for their support, like the genuine

919
00:42:30,200 --> 00:42:32,239
Speaker 1: white people that support and I don't you know, I

920
00:42:32,280 --> 00:42:34,120
Speaker 1: don't mean like the people that say things and then

921
00:42:34,160 --> 00:42:36,920
Speaker 1: they're carrying behind her. You could tell when somebody is

922
00:42:36,960 --> 00:42:40,040
Speaker 1: super genuine, and Dianne is definitely one of those people.

923
00:42:40,120 --> 00:42:42,440
Speaker 1: And we also met a young woman. Her name was

924
00:42:42,520 --> 00:42:45,600
Speaker 1: Jackie Johnson. Um. She used to work for Reverend Shop

925
00:42:45,640 --> 00:42:46,920
Speaker 1: then and I still took to her to this day,

926
00:42:46,960 --> 00:42:49,080
Speaker 1: although she moved back to California. She doesn't work for

927
00:42:49,120 --> 00:42:52,120
Speaker 1: Reverenshop that she transitioned to work back in California, and

928
00:42:52,239 --> 00:42:55,400
Speaker 1: she's been super supportive. And it's just like, no, Lie,

929
00:42:55,920 --> 00:42:58,399
Speaker 1: no matter where I am in the world, it doesn't matter.

930
00:42:58,760 --> 00:43:01,760
Speaker 1: Anytime that I'm having like uh, like I called myself,

931
00:43:01,800 --> 00:43:05,640
Speaker 1: I call them episodes. I'm just like going off something

932
00:43:05,680 --> 00:43:07,239
Speaker 1: that piss me off, and I'm just like, you know what,

933
00:43:07,440 --> 00:43:08,840
Speaker 1: what the heck? And then like I think it was

934
00:43:08,880 --> 00:43:10,759
Speaker 1: like a week ago or so, I was in my

935
00:43:10,840 --> 00:43:12,880
Speaker 1: house literally walking around in the circle and I'm just like,

936
00:43:12,960 --> 00:43:14,440
Speaker 1: you know what, because it's just a little bit too

937
00:43:14,560 --> 00:43:16,440
Speaker 1: much for me. And she called me and I picked up.

938
00:43:16,480 --> 00:43:19,040
Speaker 1: But I was like Jackie every time and I'm having

939
00:43:19,040 --> 00:43:24,120
Speaker 1: a moment, you always call me, and she's good, and

940
00:43:24,200 --> 00:43:25,400
Speaker 1: she always called me. I was just like, you know,

941
00:43:25,560 --> 00:43:28,640
Speaker 1: I appreciate that, said she feels it all the way

942
00:43:28,680 --> 00:43:30,800
Speaker 1: from California, and just like we have this connection. So

943
00:43:31,239 --> 00:43:35,600
Speaker 1: I really appreciate my white allies. Yes, yeah, listen, not

944
00:43:35,760 --> 00:43:38,840
Speaker 1: all white people are bad. Yes they're not. You know,

945
00:43:39,320 --> 00:43:41,200
Speaker 1: there's some of them really do want to help us.

946
00:43:44,080 --> 00:43:47,480
Speaker 1: When people think of these high profile cases, they sometimes

947
00:43:47,560 --> 00:43:51,360
Speaker 1: think that the settlement money makes things better, when you

948
00:43:51,440 --> 00:43:54,080
Speaker 1: actually make things worse. How do you feel about that,

949
00:43:54,880 --> 00:43:59,239
Speaker 1: UM totally destroyed my family. UM I can't say that. Um.

950
00:43:59,760 --> 00:44:01,560
Speaker 1: You know, I feel like money is a rule of

951
00:44:01,640 --> 00:44:05,640
Speaker 1: all evil and I didn't understand that until UM this, this,

952
00:44:05,920 --> 00:44:09,120
Speaker 1: this tragedy actually happened, and my family is probably gonna

953
00:44:09,200 --> 00:44:10,880
Speaker 1: kill me for saying this, but it told us apart

954
00:44:11,600 --> 00:44:13,480
Speaker 1: like it really did. And it was just like you

955
00:44:13,560 --> 00:44:16,120
Speaker 1: know when I say it's no togetherness, it was just

956
00:44:16,280 --> 00:44:19,279
Speaker 1: like like I wanted. I wanted more togetherness, like you know.

957
00:44:19,760 --> 00:44:22,200
Speaker 1: So he was gonna be like the Costi family, like,

958
00:44:23,120 --> 00:44:25,280
Speaker 1: so we're gonna figure this out. We're gonna do this. Everybody.

959
00:44:25,520 --> 00:44:28,160
Speaker 1: It's like a working machine. And didn't happened because of

960
00:44:28,239 --> 00:44:30,440
Speaker 1: the trauma that it was. The trauma and the depression

961
00:44:30,719 --> 00:44:32,320
Speaker 1: and the grief for everybody deals with it in a

962
00:44:32,400 --> 00:44:37,120
Speaker 1: different way. Um and um, my way of dealing with it,

963
00:44:37,239 --> 00:44:38,839
Speaker 1: and my way of dealing with a lot of things

964
00:44:39,400 --> 00:44:42,200
Speaker 1: is getting into my little shell and becoming a robot.

965
00:44:42,280 --> 00:44:43,719
Speaker 1: Go to work, come home, go to work, come home,

966
00:44:43,800 --> 00:44:45,600
Speaker 1: go to work, come home, and just cut everything else out.

967
00:44:46,600 --> 00:44:51,280
Speaker 1: I noticed that that's not really good for the children. Yeah. Side,

968
00:44:51,680 --> 00:44:54,719
Speaker 1: And then with the quarantine hit and then we were

969
00:44:54,800 --> 00:44:58,080
Speaker 1: forced to be inside. And now that the quarantine is over,

970
00:44:58,239 --> 00:45:00,919
Speaker 1: I'm just like I love being home. I love being

971
00:45:00,960 --> 00:45:03,279
Speaker 1: a little there. Like we go to the park, like

972
00:45:03,400 --> 00:45:05,279
Speaker 1: the little one, the baby five years though, he's like

973
00:45:06,080 --> 00:45:08,080
Speaker 1: every time we want we rode past can we go

974
00:45:08,239 --> 00:45:11,160
Speaker 1: to the park. And I was just like, oh, I

975
00:45:11,280 --> 00:45:15,120
Speaker 1: forgot that the outside is open right right, So yeah,

976
00:45:15,200 --> 00:45:16,960
Speaker 1: we do a lot more things like you know, we

977
00:45:17,040 --> 00:45:19,560
Speaker 1: do a lot more things outside. So um, this is

978
00:45:19,680 --> 00:45:21,600
Speaker 1: it was just a lot. It was hard to adjust.

979
00:45:22,480 --> 00:45:26,239
Speaker 1: Do you tell me know about how you feel? Probably not,

980
00:45:26,360 --> 00:45:29,920
Speaker 1: but they'll find out on this interview or in the

981
00:45:30,000 --> 00:45:33,040
Speaker 1: book or in the book. Why you wanna tell him?

982
00:45:34,480 --> 00:45:39,279
Speaker 1: M hmm, I mean not in your family business, but um,

983
00:45:39,440 --> 00:45:41,840
Speaker 1: I mean my family business is already out there. I

984
00:45:41,920 --> 00:45:44,520
Speaker 1: mean I don't know. I just people. Everybody knows how

985
00:45:44,600 --> 00:45:46,320
Speaker 1: I feel. I can't even say that they don't know

986
00:45:46,320 --> 00:45:48,959
Speaker 1: how because that's what I speak, my opinion. I talked.

987
00:45:49,160 --> 00:45:51,759
Speaker 1: Everybody knows how I feel about them, I must say,

988
00:45:51,800 --> 00:45:55,080
Speaker 1: but they don't they don't know what I want, what

989
00:45:55,320 --> 00:45:58,200
Speaker 1: I what I what I would have wanted. I think

990
00:45:58,280 --> 00:45:59,880
Speaker 1: that's the part that they don't know. So they know

991
00:46:00,000 --> 00:46:01,560
Speaker 1: exactly how I feel. What you know? You know, I

992
00:46:01,640 --> 00:46:04,000
Speaker 1: love my family. You know we're crazy and you know,

993
00:46:04,200 --> 00:46:06,319
Speaker 1: like what I could say, nobody else could say. That's

994
00:46:06,400 --> 00:46:09,400
Speaker 1: that's how I am, right because my mama out you know,

995
00:46:09,560 --> 00:46:11,000
Speaker 1: not with curse words and stuff. But I could say

996
00:46:11,000 --> 00:46:13,080
Speaker 1: what I want to say, but you can't say what

997
00:46:13,280 --> 00:46:15,600
Speaker 1: I say, because then we don't have problems, you know,

998
00:46:15,880 --> 00:46:18,200
Speaker 1: but you know, people like I know, I let them

999
00:46:18,239 --> 00:46:20,360
Speaker 1: know how I feel like I'm mad because you did this,

1000
00:46:20,440 --> 00:46:22,440
Speaker 1: is this, and this like why you did this for

1001
00:46:22,680 --> 00:46:24,160
Speaker 1: for this sibling and you didn't do that for me?

1002
00:46:24,239 --> 00:46:25,960
Speaker 1: I asked you for this? Why you got to Why

1003
00:46:26,000 --> 00:46:28,200
Speaker 1: ain't get a bag you bought everybody? And wallet? Why

1004
00:46:28,200 --> 00:46:31,040
Speaker 1: ain't get a wallet? Say? Why ain't go to dinner? Like?

1005
00:46:31,160 --> 00:46:35,160
Speaker 1: So you know, we have typical typical mommy daughter things

1006
00:46:35,200 --> 00:46:37,160
Speaker 1: that are going on. So they definitely know how I feel.

1007
00:46:37,760 --> 00:46:39,920
Speaker 1: I think they know now what I want or they

1008
00:46:40,000 --> 00:46:41,600
Speaker 1: kind of figured it out. I think they kind of

1009
00:46:41,600 --> 00:46:43,640
Speaker 1: figured it out along the way with how I moved.

1010
00:46:44,280 --> 00:46:47,359
Speaker 1: Do you think things will get better? Um? I think

1011
00:46:47,440 --> 00:46:51,919
Speaker 1: that if if I am intentional, things will get better.

1012
00:46:52,120 --> 00:46:54,759
Speaker 1: I think that if I may be initiative, things will

1013
00:46:54,800 --> 00:46:58,680
Speaker 1: get better. And I think that I got a lot

1014
00:46:58,760 --> 00:47:00,319
Speaker 1: on my plate, so making it un this it even

1015
00:47:00,400 --> 00:47:02,080
Speaker 1: doing that is a little bit much for me right now.

1016
00:47:03,239 --> 00:47:05,799
Speaker 1: But I don't want to wait till it's too late. Yeah,

1017
00:47:05,920 --> 00:47:09,520
Speaker 1: I ain't got time right now. You know what? Do

1018
00:47:09,640 --> 00:47:12,760
Speaker 1: you think that people should know how much families received

1019
00:47:12,800 --> 00:47:16,040
Speaker 1: when it comes to settlement money. No, because people think

1020
00:47:16,080 --> 00:47:17,680
Speaker 1: that you know, all that money went into one thank

1021
00:47:17,680 --> 00:47:20,719
Speaker 1: account and it didn't right, Not Like I don't think

1022
00:47:20,760 --> 00:47:23,719
Speaker 1: people should pay attention to stuff like that, because why

1023
00:47:23,760 --> 00:47:26,000
Speaker 1: do you always tell people how much the families get

1024
00:47:26,440 --> 00:47:28,839
Speaker 1: because they wants to get rob I'm sorry edit that out.

1025
00:47:31,880 --> 00:47:35,239
Speaker 1: I feel like that's what it is, like, it's I

1026
00:47:35,239 --> 00:47:36,759
Speaker 1: don't think that I have all. I don't have this.

1027
00:47:36,920 --> 00:47:39,000
Speaker 1: I don't have this money. Don't don't think that I

1028
00:47:39,080 --> 00:47:42,400
Speaker 1: have this I always wanted. Like that's so weird to me.

1029
00:47:42,880 --> 00:47:45,799
Speaker 1: My organization has only been uh what is this month?

1030
00:47:45,920 --> 00:47:48,440
Speaker 1: This is ten months that I have not worked a

1031
00:47:48,520 --> 00:47:51,279
Speaker 1: full time job and done activism work. This is the

1032
00:47:51,360 --> 00:47:53,800
Speaker 1: first time in eight years that I'm able to not

1033
00:47:54,000 --> 00:47:55,719
Speaker 1: have to hold the full time job and do the

1034
00:47:55,800 --> 00:47:58,839
Speaker 1: work that I'm that I'm passionate for, which is helping

1035
00:47:58,880 --> 00:48:02,000
Speaker 1: people are focusing on mental So this is really literally

1036
00:48:02,080 --> 00:48:05,000
Speaker 1: only since the beginning of this year. But it's good,

1037
00:48:05,719 --> 00:48:11,839
Speaker 1: it's good. It's munths so and do more because I'm

1038
00:48:11,920 --> 00:48:15,120
Speaker 1: just like, you know, like like if I told what

1039
00:48:15,239 --> 00:48:16,680
Speaker 1: I let people know, I said, if I go back

1040
00:48:16,719 --> 00:48:20,200
Speaker 1: to work, I just know that you're not gonna see

1041
00:48:20,200 --> 00:48:22,880
Speaker 1: me because you know, my last job with ACS, and

1042
00:48:22,960 --> 00:48:24,759
Speaker 1: then after I left a c S, I start working

1043
00:48:24,760 --> 00:48:27,320
Speaker 1: for Mega Averst College under the leadership of Larie Daniels

1044
00:48:27,680 --> 00:48:30,600
Speaker 1: and um As berother Simmons over there at Mega Vergh College,

1045
00:48:30,640 --> 00:48:32,960
Speaker 1: and then um you know, I went to to another

1046
00:48:33,080 --> 00:48:36,840
Speaker 1: organization where you know, I was director of organizing, and

1047
00:48:37,080 --> 00:48:39,040
Speaker 1: then I went to another organization. So it's like, if

1048
00:48:39,040 --> 00:48:41,160
Speaker 1: I go back to work, it's gonna be like sixty

1049
00:48:41,200 --> 00:48:44,799
Speaker 1: seventy eight hours into another prezation or another company that's

1050
00:48:44,840 --> 00:48:48,400
Speaker 1: not mine. On top of dealing with the kids, and

1051
00:48:48,840 --> 00:48:51,240
Speaker 1: just like I was like, I don't even have anybody

1052
00:48:51,239 --> 00:48:53,000
Speaker 1: to pick them up from school right now, so I

1053
00:48:53,080 --> 00:48:54,960
Speaker 1: have to do interviews while the kids are in school

1054
00:48:55,080 --> 00:48:57,200
Speaker 1: or late after I picked them up. So once I

1055
00:48:57,239 --> 00:48:59,560
Speaker 1: get all that together, then I can figure out all

1056
00:48:59,560 --> 00:49:01,320
Speaker 1: the other stuf. But I was just fortunate enough to

1057
00:49:01,400 --> 00:49:04,520
Speaker 1: meet with organization that you know, gave us our ce

1058
00:49:04,680 --> 00:49:06,960
Speaker 1: funding and then partner with another organization that gave us

1059
00:49:07,000 --> 00:49:09,719
Speaker 1: our fiscal sponsorship, so they handled in the finances. So

1060
00:49:09,800 --> 00:49:11,560
Speaker 1: it's not like I just have money in my bank

1061
00:49:11,560 --> 00:49:14,200
Speaker 1: account low I have to go through um checks and

1062
00:49:14,280 --> 00:49:16,800
Speaker 1: balances to to spend the money. And keep track and

1063
00:49:16,880 --> 00:49:19,520
Speaker 1: keep accounting. So you know, that's why I like to

1064
00:49:19,600 --> 00:49:21,839
Speaker 1: let people know, like we have fisical sponsorship, So anything

1065
00:49:21,880 --> 00:49:24,000
Speaker 1: gonna have to do with finances, talk to the finance

1066
00:49:24,000 --> 00:49:27,080
Speaker 1: team because I do not touch the money, like execute

1067
00:49:27,080 --> 00:49:29,800
Speaker 1: the plan. And I name myself executive director because I

1068
00:49:29,840 --> 00:49:31,239
Speaker 1: don't want to be a CEO. I don't want to

1069
00:49:31,280 --> 00:49:33,440
Speaker 1: just sit in the background. I actually want to do

1070
00:49:33,600 --> 00:49:35,279
Speaker 1: the work and I want to be hands on with people,

1071
00:49:36,719 --> 00:49:38,320
Speaker 1: with the with the young people, because I want to

1072
00:49:38,360 --> 00:49:40,920
Speaker 1: make sure that the people that I'm that I'm hiring

1073
00:49:41,560 --> 00:49:45,000
Speaker 1: are are you know, good for my kids, because I

1074
00:49:45,040 --> 00:49:49,080
Speaker 1: can't hire somebody that doesn't like kids just because you're

1075
00:49:49,080 --> 00:49:51,319
Speaker 1: an adming So that means that if my child come

1076
00:49:51,360 --> 00:49:53,680
Speaker 1: in here, you know what, when my kids come into

1077
00:49:53,719 --> 00:49:55,600
Speaker 1: my program, because I always calling my kids when they

1078
00:49:55,680 --> 00:49:57,479
Speaker 1: come in here. You you're not gonna take a minute

1079
00:49:57,560 --> 00:49:59,520
Speaker 1: and see what's wrong with them and try to figure

1080
00:49:59,560 --> 00:50:01,960
Speaker 1: it out. And that's not your job. No, that's not

1081
00:50:02,080 --> 00:50:05,280
Speaker 1: your position. But you have a little bit of crisis

1082
00:50:05,360 --> 00:50:07,360
Speaker 1: management to at least be able to bring bring the

1083
00:50:07,440 --> 00:50:10,120
Speaker 1: kid down so that they could get to the next

1084
00:50:10,120 --> 00:50:13,000
Speaker 1: step before it escalates to another thing. Because then it

1085
00:50:13,040 --> 00:50:15,560
Speaker 1: goes to another person. Oh well, now I'm calling the cops.

1086
00:50:15,719 --> 00:50:17,880
Speaker 1: You don't need to call the cops when they just

1087
00:50:17,960 --> 00:50:20,200
Speaker 1: need to get it out. Maybe they're just mad about something.

1088
00:50:20,239 --> 00:50:23,239
Speaker 1: Maybe you did something that piste are, yeah, and they

1089
00:50:23,360 --> 00:50:24,919
Speaker 1: just need to get it out. Come on, like, don't

1090
00:50:24,960 --> 00:50:27,360
Speaker 1: don't do that. And I want to make sure that

1091
00:50:27,440 --> 00:50:30,319
Speaker 1: I'm intentional with hiring people who actually want to help,

1092
00:50:30,640 --> 00:50:33,080
Speaker 1: like just be a little bit empathy and understand. Maybe

1093
00:50:33,400 --> 00:50:35,040
Speaker 1: yelling the screament is how they deal with stuff in

1094
00:50:35,040 --> 00:50:37,839
Speaker 1: at home, So maybe they need to know that that's

1095
00:50:37,840 --> 00:50:39,120
Speaker 1: not how they deal with they here, but how they're

1096
00:50:39,120 --> 00:50:42,120
Speaker 1: gonna know if you don't tell them. Right. So, you know,

1097
00:50:42,200 --> 00:50:44,000
Speaker 1: a lot of things that we do is because we

1098
00:50:44,120 --> 00:50:47,120
Speaker 1: learned them. We've seen them learn how to conduct ourselves

1099
00:50:47,160 --> 00:50:50,640
Speaker 1: in different places because somebody was the example. So I

1100
00:50:50,680 --> 00:50:54,400
Speaker 1: want to hire people who are the example. Right. What

1101
00:50:54,520 --> 00:50:56,640
Speaker 1: are some other things that you think that the families

1102
00:50:57,040 --> 00:51:02,239
Speaker 1: families should receive besides money? Mental health therapy. I think

1103
00:51:02,280 --> 00:51:03,840
Speaker 1: that that should be a given. I think it should

1104
00:51:03,840 --> 00:51:06,200
Speaker 1: be free. UM. I think it should be I think

1105
00:51:06,239 --> 00:51:10,040
Speaker 1: it should come from UM somebody who understands. I think

1106
00:51:10,120 --> 00:51:13,680
Speaker 1: that it should come from UM. People who look like them.

1107
00:51:14,200 --> 00:51:16,239
Speaker 1: So I took to a person. I want to talk

1108
00:51:16,239 --> 00:51:17,719
Speaker 1: to a black person. If I'm Hispanic, I want to

1109
00:51:17,719 --> 00:51:19,880
Speaker 1: talk to a Hispanic person. Um, just somebody who can

1110
00:51:19,920 --> 00:51:23,160
Speaker 1: relate or if not even race being the factor, but culture.

1111
00:51:23,600 --> 00:51:26,319
Speaker 1: So that stands my culture. Like you know, I took

1112
00:51:26,360 --> 00:51:27,840
Speaker 1: on my hands a lot, I do this and all

1113
00:51:27,880 --> 00:51:30,200
Speaker 1: this other stuff, like you know, I have to marry Carter.

1114
00:51:30,600 --> 00:51:32,919
Speaker 1: Her son um was was you know killed this once

1115
00:51:32,960 --> 00:51:36,239
Speaker 1: every confinement and I say killed because he wasn't given

1116
00:51:36,280 --> 00:51:38,719
Speaker 1: the proper treatment that he was that he deserved. And

1117
00:51:38,960 --> 00:51:40,879
Speaker 1: you know, She's like I feel like, you know, people

1118
00:51:40,920 --> 00:51:42,719
Speaker 1: are not gonna receive me because of how I am

1119
00:51:42,800 --> 00:51:45,279
Speaker 1: and how I talk. And then as we started going

1120
00:51:45,320 --> 00:51:47,839
Speaker 1: through our support group, like she's telling me, I need

1121
00:51:47,880 --> 00:51:49,120
Speaker 1: you to do this and I need to I was like,

1122
00:51:49,320 --> 00:51:51,440
Speaker 1: excuse me, miss, I don't know how to do this

1123
00:51:51,560 --> 00:51:55,680
Speaker 1: and that you orders? Hello president? Now she's the president

1124
00:51:55,880 --> 00:51:58,040
Speaker 1: and she's like I'm the president, Like, yes, you're the president,

1125
00:51:58,200 --> 00:51:59,960
Speaker 1: so you give everybody orders. I was like, I don't

1126
00:52:00,000 --> 00:52:01,880
Speaker 1: want people working for me. I want people working with me.

1127
00:52:02,480 --> 00:52:05,600
Speaker 1: So you're telling me how you do this Other's I

1128
00:52:05,680 --> 00:52:07,080
Speaker 1: thought I was a high hat I thought I was

1129
00:52:07,160 --> 00:52:09,879
Speaker 1: too straightforward, but you took the ground and I was like, see,

1130
00:52:10,000 --> 00:52:12,080
Speaker 1: you never know what you're capable of until you try it.

1131
00:52:12,440 --> 00:52:14,959
Speaker 1: Who would have been the president of a support group?

1132
00:52:15,960 --> 00:52:18,600
Speaker 1: But it is though it's a reason because they're trying

1133
00:52:18,600 --> 00:52:21,840
Speaker 1: to downplay women, especially black women, and they'd be saying, oh,

1134
00:52:21,920 --> 00:52:24,400
Speaker 1: you don't know how to talk you on how we

1135
00:52:24,560 --> 00:52:28,399
Speaker 1: water ourselves down, thinking that we're too much when these

1136
00:52:28,520 --> 00:52:31,839
Speaker 1: niggas with because you never know our shop might be listening.

1137
00:52:32,280 --> 00:52:36,120
Speaker 1: We got we gotta at that out because but you

1138
00:52:36,200 --> 00:52:39,000
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying, like it's so annoying, like how

1139
00:52:39,160 --> 00:52:42,200
Speaker 1: you they trying to make us like water ourselves now

1140
00:52:42,360 --> 00:52:44,560
Speaker 1: or like put all right, put us in like in

1141
00:52:44,600 --> 00:52:48,040
Speaker 1: a little box, and it's like no for me right,

1142
00:52:48,080 --> 00:52:50,040
Speaker 1: And it's just like, you know, it's not that she

1143
00:52:50,200 --> 00:52:52,640
Speaker 1: doesn't know how to speak, because she knows how to talk.

1144
00:52:52,719 --> 00:52:55,280
Speaker 1: She knows how to speaking, does how to communicate people

1145
00:52:55,719 --> 00:52:58,080
Speaker 1: maybe around her told her that that she doesn't speak

1146
00:52:58,120 --> 00:53:00,279
Speaker 1: while and I'm just like, you talk just fine to me,

1147
00:53:00,719 --> 00:53:03,120
Speaker 1: like you're talking to me, you're organizing, you're doing this,

1148
00:53:03,440 --> 00:53:05,600
Speaker 1: And this is what I try to try to point

1149
00:53:05,640 --> 00:53:07,360
Speaker 1: out to people, like when I say that I'm working

1150
00:53:07,400 --> 00:53:10,399
Speaker 1: with other people. They can find their voice. Her voice

1151
00:53:10,440 --> 00:53:12,759
Speaker 1: is not my voice. My voice is not her voice.

1152
00:53:12,760 --> 00:53:14,600
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna talk she talk. She's not gonna talkalk

1153
00:53:14,640 --> 00:53:17,400
Speaker 1: because I'm form Brooklyn. She's from the Bronx. But we

1154
00:53:17,560 --> 00:53:20,560
Speaker 1: have we have. We have a certain vernacular, we talk

1155
00:53:20,560 --> 00:53:24,320
Speaker 1: a certain way. We did I say New York again,

1156
00:53:27,280 --> 00:53:29,840
Speaker 1: I don't you know? I have. I have a little accent.

1157
00:53:30,000 --> 00:53:32,400
Speaker 1: She has a little accent. But that doesn't mean that

1158
00:53:32,600 --> 00:53:34,200
Speaker 1: she can't stand up in front of the world and

1159
00:53:34,320 --> 00:53:36,719
Speaker 1: fight for justice. Far as done because she speaks a

1160
00:53:36,800 --> 00:53:39,040
Speaker 1: certain way, because her nails are a certain way. Like

1161
00:53:39,120 --> 00:53:40,640
Speaker 1: I like her. Now, that's a cute like. And if

1162
00:53:40,680 --> 00:53:42,680
Speaker 1: anybody got anything to say about it, then we're all

1163
00:53:42,800 --> 00:53:46,480
Speaker 1: gonna jump in because religion, we're all gonna come for you.

1164
00:53:46,640 --> 00:53:49,600
Speaker 1: Like no, this this is how. This is how my

1165
00:53:49,960 --> 00:53:53,040
Speaker 1: my friend fills in power to fight for justice. And

1166
00:53:53,239 --> 00:53:57,280
Speaker 1: she's uplifted for that. And I always tell people because

1167
00:53:57,320 --> 00:54:00,400
Speaker 1: I called my community the professional home Girls, and I

1168
00:54:00,440 --> 00:54:02,600
Speaker 1: always tell people to share this story because you never

1169
00:54:02,680 --> 00:54:08,000
Speaker 1: know how your storyline could be somebody else's lifeline. Yes, exactly,

1170
00:54:08,880 --> 00:54:10,400
Speaker 1: And that's when I tell them all the time. Like,

1171
00:54:10,800 --> 00:54:12,160
Speaker 1: you know, I was like, you never know how it's

1172
00:54:12,160 --> 00:54:14,959
Speaker 1: going to change other people, because listening to other people

1173
00:54:15,080 --> 00:54:18,959
Speaker 1: change me. Yeah. Yeah, What is the advice you would

1174
00:54:18,960 --> 00:54:21,680
Speaker 1: give to those that have been affected by police brutality?

1175
00:54:22,400 --> 00:54:26,840
Speaker 1: Take your time. You don't have to be everywhere because

1176
00:54:27,280 --> 00:54:30,480
Speaker 1: you are the story. Um. And I always go back

1177
00:54:30,520 --> 00:54:33,880
Speaker 1: to my reference where you know, after the courthouse incident, um,

1178
00:54:33,920 --> 00:54:35,640
Speaker 1: they were like, oh, you can go do an interview

1179
00:54:35,719 --> 00:54:37,359
Speaker 1: at this station and they were like, oh, you gotta

1180
00:54:37,360 --> 00:54:38,560
Speaker 1: do it today. And I was like, I just don't

1181
00:54:38,600 --> 00:54:41,520
Speaker 1: have the mental capacity, like I am super drained. And

1182
00:54:41,520 --> 00:54:43,280
Speaker 1: they're like, oh, well, they're not gonna want the story tomorrow.

1183
00:54:43,320 --> 00:54:44,799
Speaker 1: I was like, well, this is my story every day.

1184
00:54:45,960 --> 00:54:47,680
Speaker 1: Oh I want I want them to understand that this

1185
00:54:47,719 --> 00:54:49,840
Speaker 1: is gonna be your story every day. And you know,

1186
00:54:49,920 --> 00:54:51,640
Speaker 1: I know that the momentum is high, and you know

1187
00:54:51,719 --> 00:54:53,760
Speaker 1: you want to get the story out there, but pace yourself,

1188
00:54:54,120 --> 00:54:56,040
Speaker 1: do as much as you can handle, and don't tire

1189
00:54:56,080 --> 00:54:58,960
Speaker 1: yourself out. Like you know, you want to get the

1190
00:54:59,000 --> 00:55:00,480
Speaker 1: story out, you want to do that, you want to

1191
00:55:00,480 --> 00:55:02,759
Speaker 1: do all these things, but remember that every time that

1192
00:55:02,840 --> 00:55:04,200
Speaker 1: you talk about it, every time that you do it,

1193
00:55:04,239 --> 00:55:06,520
Speaker 1: you're reliving and you're breaking down and you're leaving a

1194
00:55:06,560 --> 00:55:10,040
Speaker 1: piece of yourself there. So just be intentional about your

1195
00:55:10,080 --> 00:55:12,760
Speaker 1: self care. And that's that's the major advice. Be intentional

1196
00:55:12,800 --> 00:55:14,960
Speaker 1: about your self care. Look out for my self care

1197
00:55:15,040 --> 00:55:17,520
Speaker 1: retreat because I definitely want to have one where we

1198
00:55:18,800 --> 00:55:21,600
Speaker 1: get in depth about these things where it's like no cameras,

1199
00:55:21,840 --> 00:55:24,960
Speaker 1: no phones, no social media, We're getting real, we understand

1200
00:55:25,040 --> 00:55:27,520
Speaker 1: that we're talking like you know, we were. I really

1201
00:55:27,560 --> 00:55:29,400
Speaker 1: want to get those things because when the cameras are on, like,

1202
00:55:29,480 --> 00:55:32,040
Speaker 1: people are reserved, So you want to make sure that

1203
00:55:32,080 --> 00:55:35,200
Speaker 1: we're intentional, that we're not posting, you know, videos online

1204
00:55:35,239 --> 00:55:37,319
Speaker 1: of the conversation because I want people to be real.

1205
00:55:37,840 --> 00:55:40,000
Speaker 1: And you know, sometimes people will be like, oh, well

1206
00:55:40,239 --> 00:55:42,640
Speaker 1: this is triggering. Do you think you need to see someone? No,

1207
00:55:42,760 --> 00:55:47,480
Speaker 1: I'm not about to kill myself go off in this moment,

1208
00:55:48,000 --> 00:55:49,400
Speaker 1: and I just want somebody. I just want to be

1209
00:55:49,520 --> 00:55:52,040
Speaker 1: heard and I want to be validated in my feelings

1210
00:55:52,560 --> 00:55:57,520
Speaker 1: right and see me and that then and figure out

1211
00:55:57,560 --> 00:55:59,719
Speaker 1: how we're gonna move forward, how we're gonna build to

1212
00:55:59,840 --> 00:56:02,040
Speaker 1: go to the next level. And that's that's really what

1213
00:56:02,160 --> 00:56:04,239
Speaker 1: I want um to get out of the retreat. I

1214
00:56:04,280 --> 00:56:07,200
Speaker 1: want everybody to walk away with their game plan, at

1215
00:56:07,280 --> 00:56:09,200
Speaker 1: least a two months, two or three month game plan

1216
00:56:09,760 --> 00:56:12,080
Speaker 1: of what needs to happen in order for them to

1217
00:56:12,239 --> 00:56:14,680
Speaker 1: feel okay and feel better to get through the next

1218
00:56:14,760 --> 00:56:16,960
Speaker 1: couple of days or weeks or months or whatever it is.

1219
00:56:19,080 --> 00:56:21,400
Speaker 1: And what ways can people support those who have been

1220
00:56:21,480 --> 00:56:27,200
Speaker 1: affected by police brutality. UM. I think that everybody's unique

1221
00:56:27,200 --> 00:56:30,560
Speaker 1: and everybody needs support in different ways. So for me, UM,

1222
00:56:30,960 --> 00:56:34,040
Speaker 1: the the support that I would need is community. I

1223
00:56:34,080 --> 00:56:37,080
Speaker 1: would need people to log onto my website, read my book,

1224
00:56:37,200 --> 00:56:39,239
Speaker 1: get to know me a little bit, tap into the

1225
00:56:39,360 --> 00:56:41,759
Speaker 1: things that are available on the website, you know, watch

1226
00:56:41,840 --> 00:56:44,640
Speaker 1: the podcast, you know, show up to the events UM.

1227
00:56:45,160 --> 00:56:48,040
Speaker 1: You know, donate, contribute like you know, do things like that,

1228
00:56:48,239 --> 00:56:51,239
Speaker 1: volunteer UM. You know, we do, we do events, we

1229
00:56:51,480 --> 00:56:53,800
Speaker 1: do things UM. And you know, we don't have a

1230
00:56:53,840 --> 00:56:55,640
Speaker 1: lot of money now, but when we get the money,

1231
00:56:55,840 --> 00:56:58,480
Speaker 1: we were deeper saying people and hiring people at the

1232
00:56:58,520 --> 00:57:00,719
Speaker 1: salary that they deserve. So we want to make sure

1233
00:57:01,080 --> 00:57:02,640
Speaker 1: that we put the work in and show people what

1234
00:57:02,719 --> 00:57:05,799
Speaker 1: we can do before they actually just give us money.

1235
00:57:06,360 --> 00:57:09,360
Speaker 1: So we've been working really hard this last year and

1236
00:57:09,400 --> 00:57:11,560
Speaker 1: I'm actually gonna put out a deck of all the

1237
00:57:11,640 --> 00:57:13,319
Speaker 1: things that we've done this year, because we just came

1238
00:57:13,360 --> 00:57:16,360
Speaker 1: off of doing eleven days of Action and then UM,

1239
00:57:16,480 --> 00:57:18,720
Speaker 1: I did a book, I did a book back giveaway

1240
00:57:18,720 --> 00:57:21,760
Speaker 1: and Antiga and you know, T shirt UM, T shirt

1241
00:57:21,800 --> 00:57:26,400
Speaker 1: tabling and at an event out there and UM, we're

1242
00:57:26,480 --> 00:57:28,360
Speaker 1: just we're just doing a lot of groundwork, a lot

1243
00:57:28,400 --> 00:57:31,000
Speaker 1: of social media work, a lot of work with the youth, UM,

1244
00:57:31,160 --> 00:57:33,800
Speaker 1: a lot of work with students, and UM with Garin

1245
00:57:33,880 --> 00:57:35,520
Speaker 1: enough felt his book tour and his book tour is

1246
00:57:35,520 --> 00:57:39,280
Speaker 1: gonna be it's gonna be amazing. Well, you know, this

1247
00:57:39,440 --> 00:57:42,440
Speaker 1: story is very near and dear to me for obvious reasons.

1248
00:57:42,560 --> 00:57:45,120
Speaker 1: But you know, I was a lot of nervous when

1249
00:57:45,160 --> 00:57:48,720
Speaker 1: we about this conversation because no, no, no, because I

1250
00:57:48,800 --> 00:57:52,800
Speaker 1: feel like, you know, to see it it's one thing,

1251
00:57:52,920 --> 00:57:55,840
Speaker 1: but to experience it it's another thing. And you know,

1252
00:57:56,000 --> 00:57:57,560
Speaker 1: this was the last thing that I watched from my

1253
00:57:57,640 --> 00:58:01,800
Speaker 1: grandmother before she passed away. I've never seen I'm about

1254
00:58:01,800 --> 00:58:03,760
Speaker 1: to get emotional, but I've never seen my grandmother car

1255
00:58:03,920 --> 00:58:06,760
Speaker 1: like that before, and that just seeing everything that happened

1256
00:58:06,760 --> 00:58:09,040
Speaker 1: like really broke my heart. So you know, I really

1257
00:58:09,080 --> 00:58:11,800
Speaker 1: appreciate you coming onto the show, and however, I can

1258
00:58:11,840 --> 00:58:14,800
Speaker 1: support you, which we'll talk about offline. And honestly, I

1259
00:58:14,840 --> 00:58:16,240
Speaker 1: don't know if you have translates to the show, but

1260
00:58:16,280 --> 00:58:18,760
Speaker 1: all of my guests are anonymous, but I know people

1261
00:58:18,840 --> 00:58:20,880
Speaker 1: gonna know who you are. We're gonna definitely support you.

1262
00:58:21,440 --> 00:58:23,520
Speaker 1: Um Me, We're gonna do a giveaway with your books,

1263
00:58:23,600 --> 00:58:25,280
Speaker 1: and I'm gonna make sure I share your books. And

1264
00:58:25,880 --> 00:58:27,760
Speaker 1: you know, I want to volunteer because I'm really big

1265
00:58:27,800 --> 00:58:30,720
Speaker 1: on volunteering, but like, I really feel like this is

1266
00:58:30,840 --> 00:58:32,600
Speaker 1: like I really hope that I made your father and

1267
00:58:32,720 --> 00:58:35,040
Speaker 1: my nana proud of the conversation we had because I

1268
00:58:35,040 --> 00:58:37,439
Speaker 1: didn't want to talk about like the obvious events because

1269
00:58:37,440 --> 00:58:39,960
Speaker 1: I can only imagine how that must feel because even

1270
00:58:40,000 --> 00:58:42,120
Speaker 1: in your book you talk about having nightmares and not

1271
00:58:42,280 --> 00:58:44,400
Speaker 1: being able to sleep and stuff, and I didn't want

1272
00:58:44,400 --> 00:58:49,120
Speaker 1: to like bring someone those those topics back up, even

1273
00:58:49,160 --> 00:58:51,680
Speaker 1: though I know talk about it. I appreciate it. And

1274
00:58:51,760 --> 00:58:53,520
Speaker 1: I talked about my grandma in the book too. She

1275
00:58:53,640 --> 00:58:56,200
Speaker 1: was like, yes, my grandma got to put your hur

1276
00:58:56,280 --> 00:59:00,320
Speaker 1: right there on the wall, and um she know, she

1277
00:59:00,960 --> 00:59:04,160
Speaker 1: like when when when I explained about my grandmother, Um,

1278
00:59:04,320 --> 00:59:05,640
Speaker 1: you know, I say, like I didn't get to say

1279
00:59:05,640 --> 00:59:07,000
Speaker 1: go by to my father, didn't get to to take

1280
00:59:07,000 --> 00:59:08,840
Speaker 1: a bye to my sister. So when she got sick,

1281
00:59:08,880 --> 00:59:11,000
Speaker 1: I was like, she is not dying alone in the hospital. Bad,

1282
00:59:11,280 --> 00:59:13,720
Speaker 1: that is not happening. I don't care under any circumstances.

1283
00:59:13,920 --> 00:59:16,000
Speaker 1: We literally lived in a two bedroom apartment with the

1284
00:59:16,080 --> 00:59:18,600
Speaker 1: three kids and we was there. I was like, all right,

1285
00:59:18,640 --> 00:59:20,640
Speaker 1: we just do a home hospice and in the house

1286
00:59:21,520 --> 00:59:22,840
Speaker 1: it is. And I told the kids I just don't

1287
00:59:22,840 --> 00:59:25,320
Speaker 1: have to understand, just you know, they have to understand.

1288
00:59:25,320 --> 00:59:26,800
Speaker 1: They went through it with me and I explained to

1289
00:59:26,840 --> 00:59:29,400
Speaker 1: them what that is, what this means, and what's gonna happen.

1290
00:59:29,800 --> 00:59:32,120
Speaker 1: So what was gonna happen before I happened. And I

1291
00:59:32,160 --> 00:59:34,680
Speaker 1: think that it was a good um, not a good experience.

1292
00:59:34,680 --> 00:59:36,840
Speaker 1: It was a bittersweet experience for the children to see

1293
00:59:36,880 --> 00:59:39,240
Speaker 1: that transition, and it was it was it was it

1294
00:59:39,360 --> 00:59:41,360
Speaker 1: was good to see and it was it was really

1295
00:59:41,520 --> 00:59:44,800
Speaker 1: it was really good to see her transition um in

1296
00:59:44,920 --> 00:59:47,959
Speaker 1: a good way and not alone. Yeah, that's what That's

1297
00:59:48,040 --> 00:59:50,560
Speaker 1: what I was focused on. So um, you know, sending

1298
00:59:50,640 --> 00:59:53,000
Speaker 1: look to your granny, to love to my grannie. And

1299
00:59:53,840 --> 00:59:57,040
Speaker 1: I was very close to my grandmother. So I definitely understand. Okay,

1300
00:59:57,080 --> 00:59:58,560
Speaker 1: so too my question because I know you get to

1301
00:59:58,600 --> 01:00:02,160
Speaker 1: these kids and I'm singing they and they talk about

1302
01:00:02,160 --> 01:00:04,400
Speaker 1: their hungry. I'm like, how you probably at the door,

1303
01:00:04,480 --> 01:00:08,160
Speaker 1: like I'm hungry if I'm starving you now, I'm starving

1304
01:00:08,200 --> 01:00:10,640
Speaker 1: you now. And I bought empanadas after school. Oh I

1305
01:00:10,760 --> 01:00:13,520
Speaker 1: love emplane. Okay, we almost finished. So you asked a

1306
01:00:13,560 --> 01:00:15,800
Speaker 1: really great question in your book, and her book is amazing,

1307
01:00:15,920 --> 01:00:18,440
Speaker 1: like it's a good read, it's a quick read, like

1308
01:00:18,560 --> 01:00:20,600
Speaker 1: she said that the shop is weren't long. But one

1309
01:00:20,600 --> 01:00:22,320
Speaker 1: of the questions that you're asking a book that were

1310
01:00:22,360 --> 01:00:24,200
Speaker 1: like for you to answer is do you think that

1311
01:00:24,280 --> 01:00:26,840
Speaker 1: we would ever be considered equal in the world where

1312
01:00:26,880 --> 01:00:34,919
Speaker 1: there are so much inequality? Um? I think that that's

1313
01:00:34,920 --> 01:00:39,400
Speaker 1: a hard question to answer. Yeah, that question. I think

1314
01:00:39,440 --> 01:00:43,320
Speaker 1: that it's a working, working progress. I think that if

1315
01:00:43,360 --> 01:00:46,280
Speaker 1: we don't vote this this vote voting year, everything that

1316
01:00:46,360 --> 01:00:48,680
Speaker 1: we work for is gonna be gone. I think that, Um,

1317
01:00:48,760 --> 01:00:50,480
Speaker 1: if we are not intentional about who we get an

1318
01:00:50,560 --> 01:00:53,120
Speaker 1: office and who we get out of office, UM, it's

1319
01:00:53,120 --> 01:00:56,920
Speaker 1: gonna definitely affect us. We already got abortion rights taken away. UM.

1320
01:00:57,160 --> 01:00:59,080
Speaker 1: You know people saying their pro life that people say

1321
01:00:59,080 --> 01:01:01,600
Speaker 1: they're pro pro um, what is it pro life and

1322
01:01:02,040 --> 01:01:05,240
Speaker 1: pro choice pro choice um to see, I don't know.

1323
01:01:06,160 --> 01:01:08,120
Speaker 1: I'm trying to figure it out, you know, I'm trying

1324
01:01:08,120 --> 01:01:11,640
Speaker 1: to do It's a lot, and you know, you don't

1325
01:01:11,640 --> 01:01:14,080
Speaker 1: know how important those things are until after it happens.

1326
01:01:14,240 --> 01:01:19,440
Speaker 1: And you know, yes, I feel for the victims um

1327
01:01:19,560 --> 01:01:21,320
Speaker 1: that are not able to get the treatment that they

1328
01:01:21,400 --> 01:01:25,280
Speaker 1: need because of this this um this law, this pro

1329
01:01:25,440 --> 01:01:29,720
Speaker 1: choice pro life law that that just got overturned Playing

1330
01:01:29,760 --> 01:01:31,800
Speaker 1: Parenthood and I used to work with Playing Playerhood. I

1331
01:01:31,920 --> 01:01:34,920
Speaker 1: used to work um, you know, doing and stale. When

1332
01:01:34,920 --> 01:01:36,560
Speaker 1: I was working for Playing Paer, I was like, oh,

1333
01:01:36,560 --> 01:01:40,960
Speaker 1: it's pregnant working for player Pairer. But but I was

1334
01:01:41,000 --> 01:01:42,960
Speaker 1: working in a different department, so of course I wasn't

1335
01:01:43,000 --> 01:01:46,160
Speaker 1: working in that department. I was Community Help Action. So

1336
01:01:46,240 --> 01:01:48,640
Speaker 1: play parent is right next door or whatever. But you know,

1337
01:01:48,800 --> 01:01:50,840
Speaker 1: it was just it was just It's just one of

1338
01:01:50,920 --> 01:01:52,600
Speaker 1: those things where I was just like, dang, like they're

1339
01:01:52,640 --> 01:01:54,400
Speaker 1: just snatching things away from us. And people who are

1340
01:01:54,400 --> 01:01:59,960
Speaker 1: worried about TikTok dance people are going viral for uhy

1341
01:02:00,040 --> 01:02:04,360
Speaker 1: in saying words that don't make sense and the and

1342
01:02:04,520 --> 01:02:06,720
Speaker 1: these are things that are not going viral, and these

1343
01:02:06,720 --> 01:02:08,800
Speaker 1: are the laws that we need because this is why

1344
01:02:09,200 --> 01:02:12,040
Speaker 1: no family gets to justice they deserved because these laws

1345
01:02:12,400 --> 01:02:14,840
Speaker 1: and the things that happened behind the scenes that are protected,

1346
01:02:15,320 --> 01:02:17,840
Speaker 1: and the officers that are protected. So we need people

1347
01:02:17,920 --> 01:02:21,800
Speaker 1: to get out and vote, to do your research, become

1348
01:02:21,840 --> 01:02:24,480
Speaker 1: a part of a network that gives you education. Doesn't

1349
01:02:24,480 --> 01:02:26,480
Speaker 1: have to be this doesn't have to be rubber shopped,

1350
01:02:26,480 --> 01:02:29,080
Speaker 1: and doesn't have to be justice Jackson. There are educational

1351
01:02:29,400 --> 01:02:32,080
Speaker 1: organizations out there that will teach you what laws you

1352
01:02:32,160 --> 01:02:34,080
Speaker 1: need to be following. What does this mean? What does

1353
01:02:34,160 --> 01:02:36,640
Speaker 1: that mean? Because you really need to know down to

1354
01:02:36,680 --> 01:02:39,439
Speaker 1: where your kids go to school, because you know it's

1355
01:02:39,520 --> 01:02:41,920
Speaker 1: it's it's a lot and those things you need to know,

1356
01:02:42,520 --> 01:02:44,080
Speaker 1: or they would just they would just fly you right

1357
01:02:44,120 --> 01:02:45,400
Speaker 1: on in and you'll be a part of the pack

1358
01:02:45,480 --> 01:02:47,920
Speaker 1: and you won't know what's going on until you sit

1359
01:02:47,960 --> 01:02:49,680
Speaker 1: in there and you don't have any resources that are

1360
01:02:49,680 --> 01:02:53,680
Speaker 1: available to you because they took everything away. Right and last,

1361
01:02:53,720 --> 01:02:56,280
Speaker 1: for Natilie's what is one thing that you would like

1362
01:02:56,440 --> 01:03:00,920
Speaker 1: for everyone to know about your father, Eric garner Um

1363
01:03:02,240 --> 01:03:06,320
Speaker 1: that he couldn't sing, but he liked. What was his

1364
01:03:06,440 --> 01:03:11,080
Speaker 1: favorite song? Uh? Well, surprisingly, uh it was the kr

1365
01:03:11,280 --> 01:03:15,720
Speaker 1: Skanksterlein and Boys to Mental because one day he was

1366
01:03:15,760 --> 01:03:17,760
Speaker 1: playing that song and I was singing it. He was like,

1367
01:03:17,800 --> 01:03:18,880
Speaker 1: what do you know about that song? I was like,

1368
01:03:18,880 --> 01:03:20,960
Speaker 1: I actually know that song? He was like, what you

1369
01:03:21,080 --> 01:03:23,360
Speaker 1: know about that song? And that was that? Was that?

1370
01:03:23,440 --> 01:03:25,040
Speaker 1: My mother's like, oh, here you go with this old

1371
01:03:25,240 --> 01:03:26,959
Speaker 1: R and B. So it's like he was an old

1372
01:03:27,160 --> 01:03:29,000
Speaker 1: R and B kind of person. I was like, Oh,

1373
01:03:29,040 --> 01:03:30,560
Speaker 1: that's the music I like. So we like the same

1374
01:03:30,600 --> 01:03:33,400
Speaker 1: glind of music. So I would say music, um was

1375
01:03:33,480 --> 01:03:38,800
Speaker 1: his thing. And he was a giant dan um giants.

1376
01:03:38,880 --> 01:03:40,800
Speaker 1: Everything used to be are you ready for football? No?

1377
01:03:41,400 --> 01:03:45,960
Speaker 1: We don't want right right? And I didn't know he

1378
01:03:46,040 --> 01:03:49,919
Speaker 1: was a boxer too, yes, so um my mom said

1379
01:03:49,960 --> 01:03:52,520
Speaker 1: that he was a boxer, um, and used to he

1380
01:03:52,640 --> 01:03:55,640
Speaker 1: used to be boxing and playing with the boys and stuff.

1381
01:03:55,680 --> 01:03:56,960
Speaker 1: You know. I was not into that thing. That was

1382
01:03:57,000 --> 01:04:00,680
Speaker 1: type of thing, uh, play fight and all that thought.

1383
01:04:00,680 --> 01:04:04,640
Speaker 1: That was not my thing. I was into reading and

1384
01:04:04,720 --> 01:04:06,680
Speaker 1: stuff like that. But yeah, so you used to do

1385
01:04:06,760 --> 01:04:10,000
Speaker 1: stuff like that. And I'm cooking. You can you can cook?

1386
01:04:10,200 --> 01:04:15,200
Speaker 1: You can cook. You spout some chicken mm hmm. Nice. Nice.

1387
01:04:16,240 --> 01:04:18,040
Speaker 1: I appreciate you. I think this is going to be

1388
01:04:18,240 --> 01:04:22,680
Speaker 1: such a and I opened a um conversation for the listeners,

1389
01:04:22,720 --> 01:04:24,040
Speaker 1: and I also think that the listener is gonna be

1390
01:04:24,120 --> 01:04:27,400
Speaker 1: inspired to find their own voice. Thank you. That's that's

1391
01:04:27,600 --> 01:04:29,840
Speaker 1: definitely the intention, and I appreciate it. Thank you for

1392
01:04:29,960 --> 01:04:35,080
Speaker 1: receiving it received. Yeah, so if I have any questions, comments,

1393
01:04:35,120 --> 01:04:37,320
Speaker 1: concern I'm gonna meet up with our guests. I can

1394
01:04:37,360 --> 01:04:38,960
Speaker 1: get these books from her because we live in the

1395
01:04:39,040 --> 01:04:42,200
Speaker 1: same area. So we're gonna do a giveaway real soon.

1396
01:04:42,360 --> 01:04:45,080
Speaker 1: It's gonna be autographs, so stay tuned for the details.

1397
01:04:45,160 --> 01:04:47,120
Speaker 1: I'm super excited about that. Thank you for doing that

1398
01:04:47,200 --> 01:04:49,560
Speaker 1: as well. And if you have any questions coming because

1399
01:04:49,680 --> 01:04:51,560
Speaker 1: or concerns, please make sure to email me a hello

1400
01:04:51,640 --> 01:04:54,360
Speaker 1: at the PhD podcast dot com. And until next time,

1401
01:04:54,480 --> 01:05:00,360
Speaker 1: everyone later, thank you. You're not gonna say bye. Oh fine,

1402
01:05:00,440 --> 01:05:01,280
Speaker 1: thank you everybody.