WEBVTT - Failure: Not Our Favorite F Word 0:00:03.320 --> 0:00:06.160 Today, I want to talk about something that often comes 0:00:06.200 --> 0:00:10.960 before success, and that's failure. Like, for instance, even kerl Gee, 0:00:11.000 --> 0:00:14.600 She's broke so many records, She's amazing. Sometimes we often 0:00:14.640 --> 0:00:17.720 forget what they had to go through in order to 0:00:17.840 --> 0:00:21.439 get to this point in their life. But I'd rather 0:00:21.880 --> 0:00:25.280 try something and fail at it and know that I tried, 0:00:25.400 --> 0:00:28.120 instead of living with what if I would have done it? 0:00:32.159 --> 0:00:35.560 Hello everyone, and welcome to another episode of Cheeky's and Chill. 0:00:35.880 --> 0:00:38.600 Today's show is a special one because it's part of 0:00:38.680 --> 0:00:43.400 Iheart's International Women's Day initiative. We're calling it Women Take 0:00:43.479 --> 0:00:47.560 the Mic. And if you didn't know, this Friday marks 0:00:47.600 --> 0:00:50.680 International Women's Day, so be sure to show the incredible 0:00:50.680 --> 0:00:53.680 woman in your life a little extra love this Friday. Okay, 0:00:54.040 --> 0:00:56.320 And speaking of incredible women, I'm not sure if you 0:00:56.320 --> 0:01:00.279 guys knew, but Shakida broke records last year and check 0:01:00.320 --> 0:01:02.279 ya by the way so much and now she has 0:01:02.320 --> 0:01:06.160 twenty one Guinness World Records, which makes her the Latina 0:01:06.319 --> 0:01:09.880 solo artists with most records, which is awesome, And of 0:01:09.880 --> 0:01:11.720 course I applaud her for her success, and I think 0:01:11.720 --> 0:01:14.720 it's a beautiful thing to admire someone for their accomplishments, 0:01:14.880 --> 0:01:17.640 for sure, But today I want to talk about something 0:01:17.680 --> 0:01:21.760 that often comes before success, and that's failure. The thing 0:01:21.800 --> 0:01:23.759 here is that we can see, like, for instance, even 0:01:23.840 --> 0:01:27.000 Carol G she's broke so many records, she's amazing in 0:01:27.040 --> 0:01:30.000 the music industry, She's done so much, but we don't know, 0:01:30.040 --> 0:01:33.040 and sometimes we often forget what they had to go 0:01:33.120 --> 0:01:35.920 through in order to get to this point in their life. 0:01:36.160 --> 0:01:38.360 And of course I don't know a lot of their 0:01:38.400 --> 0:01:40.800 personal life. But again, they have both been and they 0:01:40.800 --> 0:01:43.120 have both been very open about certain things that have 0:01:43.160 --> 0:01:45.479 happened in their life, and they've expressed it through music, 0:01:45.680 --> 0:01:48.160 which I think is awesome. As women, and I'm not 0:01:48.280 --> 0:01:51.559 just trying to be a feminist here, but as women, 0:01:51.920 --> 0:01:54.160 we go through a lot. I was just telling my 0:01:54.160 --> 0:01:55.960 friend the other day, I was like, girl, it is 0:01:56.000 --> 0:01:59.080 so hard to be a woman, especially a woman talking 0:01:59.080 --> 0:02:02.600 now personally woman in the industry that I'm in, where 0:02:02.600 --> 0:02:06.880 it's you know, mostly male dominated, which I mean, they're 0:02:06.920 --> 0:02:10.400 doing their thing, but I do feel that we're criticized 0:02:10.440 --> 0:02:12.520 for either the way that we look, if we're not 0:02:12.560 --> 0:02:14.360 thin enough, if we're not wearing the right thing. And 0:02:14.400 --> 0:02:16.760 a guy can be super big, and they don't say 0:02:16.800 --> 0:02:19.680 anything like he's still successful, that he's still doing his thing. 0:02:19.760 --> 0:02:21.920 And for women it's harder. And I'm not trying to 0:02:21.960 --> 0:02:23.639 sit here and cry because it's not about that. I'm 0:02:23.680 --> 0:02:26.760 just saying that even though we have it tough, we 0:02:26.800 --> 0:02:30.040 still find a way to keep our head held high 0:02:30.120 --> 0:02:33.520 and say we have no other choice, mamoserlo. We are 0:02:33.560 --> 0:02:37.320 going to be successful one way or another. I mean, 0:02:37.680 --> 0:02:40.880 now that we're talking about music. For me, you know, 0:02:41.000 --> 0:02:42.800 it took me a long time to get the respect 0:02:42.880 --> 0:02:45.399 that I feel like now I have in the music industry. 0:02:45.760 --> 0:02:48.280 I now have two Latin Grammys. But even when I 0:02:48.360 --> 0:02:50.639 won the first one, I mean, so many things were 0:02:50.680 --> 0:02:55.840 said and it sucks because maybe they didn't take the 0:02:55.880 --> 0:02:57.800 time to listen to my album and how good it 0:02:57.880 --> 0:02:59.800 was and how well it was produced. And that's what 0:03:00.280 --> 0:03:03.120 the Academy, the Latin Grammys or the Grammys, that's what 0:03:03.120 --> 0:03:06.840 they look at is the production is how much you invest. 0:03:06.840 --> 0:03:08.440 And I'm not talking about money. I'm talking about in 0:03:08.480 --> 0:03:11.160 every way. There's ways to tell and that's what they're 0:03:11.200 --> 0:03:14.280 looking for, and just the things that were said is 0:03:14.360 --> 0:03:17.440 just crazy. But then I won the second one and 0:03:17.680 --> 0:03:20.840 still they were kind of like, okay, certain comments, But 0:03:20.880 --> 0:03:22.520 now I'm starting to get the respect. But it took 0:03:22.520 --> 0:03:25.480 a long time, you guys. And of course I've gotten 0:03:25.520 --> 0:03:27.239 a lot of comparison and stuff like that for a 0:03:27.280 --> 0:03:29.680 long time. I think that was my biggest mistake, is 0:03:29.800 --> 0:03:32.120 listening to those people that were saying, Oh, you're not 0:03:32.200 --> 0:03:34.440 like your mom, Oh you're not like your uncle, blah 0:03:34.480 --> 0:03:37.560 blah blah. And and that was my biggest mistake. When I 0:03:37.680 --> 0:03:40.480 finally just said, let me just block these voices and 0:03:40.600 --> 0:03:43.560 just focus on myself and better myself and better my craft, 0:03:43.640 --> 0:03:47.640 things changed. But let me remind you guys about Patama Blanca. 0:03:47.760 --> 0:03:50.920 That's my very first song. And I always say my 0:03:51.000 --> 0:03:55.200 career started ass backwards because it was a song that 0:03:55.360 --> 0:03:57.600 wasn't ready to be launched. I wasn't ready to be 0:03:57.640 --> 0:04:00.000 launched as an artist. But I'm not upset at anyone 0:04:00.480 --> 0:04:03.920 or at that situation anymore because it taught me to 0:04:04.000 --> 0:04:06.680 be a better artist. I heard what I didn't want 0:04:06.720 --> 0:04:09.200 to hear, and I learned what I wanted to hear 0:04:09.840 --> 0:04:12.520 in my music and how involved I wanted to be 0:04:13.360 --> 0:04:15.680 that Now it's like I don't I'm like, okay, everything 0:04:15.680 --> 0:04:17.400 happened the way it was supposed to happen. If I 0:04:17.440 --> 0:04:19.880 sat there and just felt sorry for myself after hearing 0:04:20.400 --> 0:04:22.919 everything people were saying, I would have never made it 0:04:22.960 --> 0:04:25.640 to this point. I would have never gotten my Latin grammy, 0:04:25.960 --> 0:04:28.000 my second one. I'm going for my third. Y'all, pray 0:04:28.040 --> 0:04:31.480 for me, Pray for us. I was like, no, I 0:04:31.560 --> 0:04:33.360 know that I meant to do this. I know that 0:04:33.400 --> 0:04:35.159 God put me here for a reason. I know that 0:04:35.200 --> 0:04:38.159 I want to do this. I've heard it in my 0:04:38.320 --> 0:04:41.120 dreams for so long, and I know this is it. 0:04:41.440 --> 0:04:43.520 But imagine you guys, if I would have just stopped, 0:04:44.320 --> 0:04:45.680 you know what I mean. Or for instance, when my 0:04:45.720 --> 0:04:48.119 first live performance, and I'm not talking about lip syncing, 0:04:48.160 --> 0:04:49.480 because you know I did a lot of that in 0:04:49.520 --> 0:04:51.320 the beginning of my career, but when I first went 0:04:51.360 --> 0:04:54.919 on stage at an award show and I sang live, 0:04:55.440 --> 0:04:57.960 which is so scary, and my management was like, don't 0:04:57.960 --> 0:05:00.640 do it, don't do it because you know anything can 0:05:00.680 --> 0:05:03.120 go wrong. And I was like, I want to do it. 0:05:03.160 --> 0:05:05.760 I'm ready, I have to do it. And it wasn't 0:05:05.760 --> 0:05:08.960 the best, but it taught me. Once I heard it, 0:05:09.000 --> 0:05:11.440 and once I saw myself, I said Okay, I still 0:05:11.480 --> 0:05:12.800 want to do it. I'm not going to shrink back 0:05:12.800 --> 0:05:15.000 and say, Okay, let's go back to lip syncing. No, 0:05:15.200 --> 0:05:16.680 because that's the easy way out, and we don't want 0:05:16.680 --> 0:05:19.160 the easy way out. The way we grow is by 0:05:19.200 --> 0:05:22.880 putting ourselves in circumstances that are going to make us uncomfortable. 0:05:23.800 --> 0:05:26.120 And that's what I did. And now I'm like, I 0:05:26.120 --> 0:05:28.680 don't want to do anything other than sing live. And 0:05:28.720 --> 0:05:31.279 I'm talking about award shows because that's where it's a 0:05:31.279 --> 0:05:33.960 little tricky. You don't have a lot of control. And 0:05:33.960 --> 0:05:35.800 when I heard that first performance, I was like, damn. 0:05:35.839 --> 0:05:37.680 I was like, I should have listened to them, and 0:05:37.760 --> 0:05:41.360 I should have. But also it taught me. I'm like, Okay, 0:05:41.360 --> 0:05:42.960 then I need to go back to vocal lessons and 0:05:43.000 --> 0:05:44.960 I need to do these things. And it wasn't as 0:05:45.000 --> 0:05:47.760 horrible as it could have been, but it wasn't as 0:05:47.760 --> 0:05:49.560 good as I know I could do it, you know, 0:05:49.800 --> 0:05:51.920 as good as I know it could be. All those 0:05:51.960 --> 0:05:54.120 things like have not stopped me. And basically, what it 0:05:54.160 --> 0:05:55.880 is that I want to tell you guys, more than anything, 0:05:55.920 --> 0:06:00.800 like don't let what other people say, what other people 0:06:01.800 --> 0:06:05.520 tell you should do. It's what you're meant to do, 0:06:06.080 --> 0:06:08.240 like focus on what you're meant to do in this world. 0:06:09.200 --> 0:06:11.000 And I think that's what's gotten me to this point 0:06:11.000 --> 0:06:13.560 in my life. Then now I look back and I'm like, damn, 0:06:13.960 --> 0:06:18.280 I'm proud of myself. I've made it this far despite 0:06:18.279 --> 0:06:23.000 the adversities, despite all the people that talk shit. I 0:06:23.240 --> 0:06:25.159 was like, well, whatever, I know who I am, I 0:06:25.240 --> 0:06:26.839 know what I want to do, and I use that 0:06:26.920 --> 0:06:31.120 criticism as a way to grow and better myself and 0:06:31.200 --> 0:06:33.960 I haven't stopped. What I'm trying to get at is 0:06:34.240 --> 0:06:37.440 that it's not always peaches and cream. It's not always 0:06:37.800 --> 0:06:40.320 glitz and glam and the pretty. Like there's a lot 0:06:40.440 --> 0:06:44.120 that goes into what it is that I do. And 0:06:44.160 --> 0:06:46.160 I think a lot of women can relate to this 0:06:46.920 --> 0:06:48.600 and take away let's take away the music, let's put 0:06:48.640 --> 0:06:51.359 that on the back burner for now. I started off 0:06:51.560 --> 0:06:54.560 with my and I've talked about this again before on 0:06:54.600 --> 0:06:58.280 the podcast where I mentioned my first business, my first love, 0:06:58.320 --> 0:07:00.919 which was Blow Me Dry, and why I opened it 0:07:00.960 --> 0:07:03.000 and how I opened it, and it was through Chige's 0:07:03.000 --> 0:07:04.680 and Roxy and then I Love Jenny and then I 0:07:04.720 --> 0:07:07.320 had my spinoff. She is in control and I saved 0:07:07.360 --> 0:07:08.839 my money, and I was like, I want to build 0:07:08.839 --> 0:07:12.200 something for myself. I had built so much for my 0:07:12.280 --> 0:07:14.800 mom and I don't regret it. But I was like, Okay, 0:07:14.800 --> 0:07:16.840 it's time to build something for myself. And which is 0:07:16.840 --> 0:07:19.640 why I always loved anything beauty. The beauty industry has 0:07:19.640 --> 0:07:21.400 always caught my eye. And I said, okay, I was 0:07:21.440 --> 0:07:23.040 so in love with the blow dry bars and all 0:07:23.040 --> 0:07:25.280 that stuff. So I said, I want to like start 0:07:25.320 --> 0:07:28.120 my own business. And let me tell you, guys, I 0:07:28.160 --> 0:07:30.239 invested so much money. Now that I know about business, 0:07:30.240 --> 0:07:31.840 I'm like, okay, this is where I went wrong. First 0:07:31.880 --> 0:07:35.200 of all, I shouldn't have spent so much on building. 0:07:35.440 --> 0:07:37.760 I wanted the best floor and the best chairs, and 0:07:37.800 --> 0:07:40.440 I investaged so much money that I didn't think about, Okay, 0:07:40.520 --> 0:07:42.640 what if it doesn't do well the first three months 0:07:42.760 --> 0:07:44.480 and I have to put money out of my pocket. 0:07:44.560 --> 0:07:45.960 And let me tell you, I had it for four 0:07:46.040 --> 0:07:49.800 years and I never made a penny off of it. 0:07:49.800 --> 0:07:52.120 It was always my numbers were always red and it 0:07:52.160 --> 0:07:54.360 was my pride that kept it open. Because at first 0:07:54.400 --> 0:07:55.720 I wanted to tell my mom, look, I can do it. 0:07:55.720 --> 0:07:57.840 She was very proud. I'll never forget the words that 0:07:57.880 --> 0:08:00.840 she told me. But then my mom passed away and 0:08:00.880 --> 0:08:02.880 I felt like, well, now what am I like? I 0:08:02.920 --> 0:08:04.400 just felt like, oh, I have to keep it open 0:08:04.440 --> 0:08:07.200 because she was proud of me. And I just left 0:08:07.240 --> 0:08:09.440 it and kept it open for the wrong reasons. And 0:08:09.480 --> 0:08:12.920 I was afraid of failing. I was afraid of people 0:08:12.960 --> 0:08:15.960 saying I told you so, because they told me, don't 0:08:15.960 --> 0:08:18.440 do it in that city and Nsino because there aren't 0:08:18.480 --> 0:08:20.920 enough Latinos. And what I wanted was to build something 0:08:20.960 --> 0:08:24.400 on my own. I wanted to just show the world 0:08:24.440 --> 0:08:27.400 that yes, I had a famous mother, and I could 0:08:27.440 --> 0:08:29.280 have done it in a Latin where there was a 0:08:29.320 --> 0:08:31.680 lot of Latinos, but I wanted to do it where 0:08:31.720 --> 0:08:34.240 maybe they didn't know who Shiki's was or Jenny Rivera were. 0:08:34.480 --> 0:08:37.400 That's what I wanted to do, so I just kept 0:08:37.400 --> 0:08:40.160 it open. Finally I closed it, and I learned so 0:08:40.320 --> 0:08:42.720 much from that experience, you guys, because of course I cried. 0:08:42.760 --> 0:08:45.240 It wasn't easy to close the doors, but I had 0:08:45.240 --> 0:08:48.000 to stop the bleeding and say okay, janoo, and it 0:08:48.080 --> 0:08:50.480 was very difficult, and I think it like hurt my ego, 0:08:51.040 --> 0:08:55.959 but I learned the importance of failure, which is the 0:08:56.000 --> 0:08:58.240 whole reason after I said all of that, the whole 0:08:58.240 --> 0:09:00.720 reason I wanted to talk about this was because so 0:09:00.800 --> 0:09:02.960 many people, and I was one of them, were afraid 0:09:02.960 --> 0:09:06.200 to fail, and now I embrace it. Of course, I 0:09:06.200 --> 0:09:09.520 want everything that I do to be successful, but now 0:09:10.520 --> 0:09:14.719 I think what failure is is not doing something out 0:09:14.720 --> 0:09:17.520 of fear, not doing it because you're afraid of what 0:09:17.520 --> 0:09:19.240 people are going to say, or because you're it's not 0:09:19.280 --> 0:09:22.720 going to be as successful as you had anticipated. But 0:09:22.800 --> 0:09:26.560 I'd rather try something and fail at it and know 0:09:26.640 --> 0:09:29.320 that I tried, instead of living with what if I 0:09:29.320 --> 0:09:30.800 would have done it. And again, this is stuff that 0:09:30.840 --> 0:09:32.600 I talk about all the time, but now that we're 0:09:32.640 --> 0:09:35.880 celebrating women and I'm sitting back and watching all these 0:09:35.920 --> 0:09:39.960 women breaking records, selling out these stadiums, it inspires me 0:09:40.120 --> 0:09:43.480 and it empowers me. And that's why I kind of 0:09:43.480 --> 0:09:44.920 want to talk about that to all the women that 0:09:44.960 --> 0:09:47.760 are listening to me that want to start their own businesses, 0:09:47.840 --> 0:09:51.840 that want to I don't know, sing that want to 0:09:51.920 --> 0:09:54.360 be influencers, like you just have to try it. You 0:09:54.480 --> 0:09:57.400 have to just take that risk and try it and 0:09:57.440 --> 0:09:59.920 not be afraid or stop yourself from doing it. Because 0:10:00.320 --> 0:10:02.400 you're afraid of failing. There is so much to learn 0:10:02.400 --> 0:10:04.760 from failing from saying you know what, I'm going to 0:10:04.840 --> 0:10:07.960 pick myself up. I'm gonna learn my lesson because now 0:10:08.160 --> 0:10:09.800 you better believe, if I were to open up another 0:10:09.800 --> 0:10:12.160 blow dry bar, it'd be very, very different. I learned 0:10:12.160 --> 0:10:14.480 from it, and I know that it was going to 0:10:14.520 --> 0:10:16.080 take a lot of my time and time that I 0:10:16.120 --> 0:10:18.160 didn't have. But now I know if I want to 0:10:18.200 --> 0:10:21.200 open up a business, I have to be very present. 0:10:21.720 --> 0:10:23.559 And I learned everything I had to learn from that. 0:10:23.920 --> 0:10:26.720 And now with my businesses. You know, I have my music, 0:10:26.800 --> 0:10:30.199 I have shapewear, I have nutrition, I have my skincare, 0:10:30.679 --> 0:10:35.840 so many things in the works. Also understanding that you 0:10:35.840 --> 0:10:37.480 can't do it all on your own. You need to 0:10:37.480 --> 0:10:39.280 have a team. You need to learn to delegate. You 0:10:39.320 --> 0:10:41.440 need to be able to say, hey, I can't handle 0:10:41.480 --> 0:10:43.680 this all by myself. Let me get myself some help. 0:10:43.760 --> 0:10:46.560 Let me be okay with giving a percentage of my 0:10:46.640 --> 0:10:49.360 business to someone that you trust, because again that's another thing, 0:10:49.400 --> 0:10:52.200 partnering up with just anybody who isn't good. You have 0:10:52.280 --> 0:10:55.040 to make sure who you're going into business with. But 0:10:55.240 --> 0:10:57.880 being okay with that because that's what I learned. I'm like, 0:10:57.920 --> 0:10:59.520 you know, I can't handle it all myself, even if 0:10:59.520 --> 0:11:02.800 I wanted to. But going back to this whole thing 0:11:02.920 --> 0:11:05.719 with not being afraid of failing, I think that's when 0:11:05.720 --> 0:11:07.440 you learn the most, that's when you grow the most, 0:11:08.360 --> 0:11:12.840 and not letting that change your ambition of wanting to 0:11:12.840 --> 0:11:14.920 still be successful. If one business didn't work, if this 0:11:14.960 --> 0:11:17.120 thing didn't work for you, you got to keep going. 0:11:17.160 --> 0:11:19.360 You got to learn from it and learn what you're 0:11:19.360 --> 0:11:22.760 supposed to learn for the next season of your life. 0:11:27.559 --> 0:11:29.240 That's what I see when I see Shakira and I 0:11:29.240 --> 0:11:31.920 see Caro, and I see all these women that are 0:11:32.000 --> 0:11:34.360 just doing their thing, and even in acting. I was 0:11:34.400 --> 0:11:37.160 watching Grisela, you guys, I was watching Grisela on Netflix. 0:11:37.160 --> 0:11:39.520 I don't know if you guys have watched it six episodes, 0:11:40.080 --> 0:11:42.040 and mind you, there's a lot of things that I 0:11:42.080 --> 0:11:43.120 was like, Oh, I don't know if I would have 0:11:43.120 --> 0:11:45.959 done that. But the gist of it is she would 0:11:45.960 --> 0:11:47.800 not take no for an answer. It's like she wanted 0:11:47.840 --> 0:11:49.560 something and she's like, I'm going to do what I 0:11:49.559 --> 0:11:51.560 gotta do, which, again, there are a lot of things 0:11:51.559 --> 0:11:52.560 that I was like, I don't know if I would 0:11:52.600 --> 0:11:55.400 have done that, that's kind of harsh, but it was 0:11:55.559 --> 0:11:57.640 no man can get in her way. I mean, this 0:11:57.679 --> 0:11:59.920 has been happening for so long. I was watching Viking. 0:12:00.080 --> 0:12:01.680 It happened in Viking, like, oh, how is a woman 0:12:01.720 --> 0:12:03.280 gonna I don't know if you guys know what Vikings is. 0:12:03.320 --> 0:12:04.840 It's kind of like Game of Thrones. It's like this 0:12:04.880 --> 0:12:06.600 whole thing. Anyways, I'm so stuck on it right now. 0:12:06.960 --> 0:12:09.400 Even then in the eighteen hundreds, it was how is 0:12:09.440 --> 0:12:11.760 a woman? How is she gonna rule? How can she 0:12:12.800 --> 0:12:15.320 be the queen? Like? And it's just so many things 0:12:15.320 --> 0:12:16.680 like that that it's like, wait a second, we can 0:12:16.840 --> 0:12:20.360 do it. F what anyone says. And if if any 0:12:20.400 --> 0:12:22.560 man ever says, you guys that we couldn't we shouldn't 0:12:22.559 --> 0:12:24.360 do I'm sorry. But if we can make a baby 0:12:24.360 --> 0:12:26.320 in our body and hold the baby for nine months 0:12:26.360 --> 0:12:28.280 and push it out of her hour of vagina, I 0:12:28.320 --> 0:12:30.880 think we could do a whole lot of shit. Ask 0:12:30.920 --> 0:12:32.240 me if a man can do that. I think there 0:12:32.240 --> 0:12:35.520 are wonderful men that celebrate women, but there are a handful. 0:12:35.600 --> 0:12:37.400 And I'm telling you because I'm in an industry where 0:12:37.400 --> 0:12:39.560 it's kind of like, no you shouldn't do this, You 0:12:39.559 --> 0:12:41.520 shouldn't do that, You shouldn't sing this type of music. Oh, 0:12:41.559 --> 0:12:44.840 women shouldn't sing corridos. I'm sorry, Like why not? Why 0:12:44.880 --> 0:12:47.599 can't we sing corridos umbos. There's this girl and I 0:12:47.640 --> 0:12:49.800 forgot her name right now, but she was on TikTok 0:12:49.840 --> 0:12:53.200 and she was singing Corrido belico and in the comments, 0:12:54.200 --> 0:12:57.120 men even some women were talking crap to her, and 0:12:57.160 --> 0:13:01.400 I'm like, wait, why why can't she sing on carrillo bellico? 0:13:01.520 --> 0:13:03.240 Why because she's a woman. And that's what it was. 0:13:03.280 --> 0:13:05.000 It was because she was a woman that she didn't 0:13:05.040 --> 0:13:06.480 let that stop. She came out with another one on 0:13:06.520 --> 0:13:08.880 TikTok and I said, girl, yes, yes, let's celebrate that. 0:13:09.559 --> 0:13:15.040 And it's just not caring and not letting statistics stop 0:13:15.120 --> 0:13:18.560 us from doing what we're meant to do. And for 0:13:18.640 --> 0:13:21.200 those of you listening, and again it is we're all 0:13:21.200 --> 0:13:23.040 talking about women here, but I'm sure there are some 0:13:23.120 --> 0:13:26.120 men that are listening. So this is for anyone. If 0:13:26.160 --> 0:13:29.480 someone has told you no, you can't, you shouldn't do it, 0:13:29.559 --> 0:13:33.080 if someone has closed a door on your face, and 0:13:33.120 --> 0:13:36.080 I've had that plenty of times, even from people that 0:13:36.120 --> 0:13:39.160 I absolutely love. Maybe and I don't love them the 0:13:39.200 --> 0:13:41.920 same anymore, but that I love and that they're my blood. 0:13:42.040 --> 0:13:44.640 Have told me that I couldn't. You know what. It's 0:13:44.679 --> 0:13:47.000 not like my pride. It's never been that. And I 0:13:47.000 --> 0:13:49.000 want to tell you guys this because I think when 0:13:49.040 --> 0:13:52.480 we do things with the wrong intentions, things don't turn 0:13:52.520 --> 0:13:55.240 out the right way. So for me, it hasn't been like, 0:13:55.480 --> 0:13:57.200 let me show you what I can do. I'm going 0:13:57.240 --> 0:13:59.880 to prove it to you. It's been a feeling within 0:13:59.920 --> 0:14:01.920 me that it's like, even when I've wanted to stop, 0:14:01.960 --> 0:14:04.000 it's like, Okay, no, I'm meant to do this. This 0:14:04.080 --> 0:14:06.439 is what I am meant to do, and I want 0:14:06.480 --> 0:14:08.880 to prove it to myself more than anyone else. I 0:14:08.880 --> 0:14:11.400 don't want to look back at life and say, damn, 0:14:11.760 --> 0:14:14.240 I stopped it because they said I couldn't or I shouldn't, 0:14:14.360 --> 0:14:17.000 or that I'm not capable, I'm not good enough. You know. 0:14:17.040 --> 0:14:19.120 I've heard that, like someone that I like is my 0:14:19.200 --> 0:14:22.040 family that's supposed to support you, said you're never going 0:14:22.080 --> 0:14:25.240 to be your mom, and it hurt me because I'm like, okay, damn, 0:14:25.280 --> 0:14:27.120 I want to be as successful as my mom. But 0:14:27.160 --> 0:14:29.080 then I'm like, wait, I'm meant to do what I'm 0:14:29.120 --> 0:14:31.360 meant to do even if I'm not gonna fill up 0:14:31.360 --> 0:14:33.480 a stable center. Who's to say I can't, first of all, 0:14:34.000 --> 0:14:36.120 But what if I'm meant to do other things? Like 0:14:36.160 --> 0:14:38.120 what if even through my podcast, I'm meant to touch 0:14:38.120 --> 0:14:40.480 people's hearts, Like I'm not gonna stop because this person 0:14:40.520 --> 0:14:42.040 said I'm never going to be my mom. I don't 0:14:42.040 --> 0:14:43.760 want to be my mom. I want to be myself. 0:14:44.240 --> 0:14:47.960 That's the biggest thing is wanting and embracing yourself and 0:14:48.040 --> 0:14:49.920 what you're meant to do, and not compare yourself. I 0:14:49.960 --> 0:14:52.040 always say this because it's so important. It's something that 0:14:52.080 --> 0:14:55.480 I learned the hard way. Is comparing ourselves to anyone. 0:14:55.560 --> 0:14:58.720 Anyone else's progress or their success or whatever the case 0:14:58.760 --> 0:15:00.760 may be, is the word thing that we can do 0:15:00.800 --> 0:15:03.920 for our self confidence and for our growth. So that's 0:15:03.920 --> 0:15:06.800 for everyone out there. Don't worry those nose and those 0:15:06.840 --> 0:15:11.480 closed doors is God's protection. And I always say this too, 0:15:11.600 --> 0:15:13.920 but rejection is God's protection, you guys. And if that 0:15:14.080 --> 0:15:15.960 is something is not happening for you, it's because it's 0:15:15.960 --> 0:15:18.240 not meant to happen for you. And don't force your 0:15:18.280 --> 0:15:20.440 foot in a shoe that doesn't fit you, like, you 0:15:20.480 --> 0:15:22.160 can try it and if you keep trying. Okay, I'm 0:15:22.160 --> 0:15:23.560 not saying not to try, not to try, but I'm 0:15:23.560 --> 0:15:24.800 just saying, like, you also have to get to a 0:15:24.800 --> 0:15:26.840 point where you're like, wait a second, is this causing 0:15:26.840 --> 0:15:29.600 me more pain? Or is this going to be something 0:15:29.640 --> 0:15:31.040 that's going to be good for me? Not only for 0:15:31.120 --> 0:15:33.280 me but for others. You always have to have some 0:15:33.400 --> 0:15:37.400 type of reason and a good reason behind it. And 0:15:37.440 --> 0:15:39.240 that's what's helped me as well. With my music and 0:15:39.280 --> 0:15:40.920 the times that I've wanted to give up and where 0:15:40.960 --> 0:15:43.360 I'm like I'm tired or it's just too much, I'm like, 0:15:43.400 --> 0:15:46.880 you know what, No, I'm touching people's hearts. My mission 0:15:46.920 --> 0:15:50.479 in this world is so much bigger than even streams. 0:15:50.520 --> 0:15:52.400 You know, Yes, I wish I had more streams on 0:15:52.480 --> 0:15:55.080 Spotify and Apple Music and all this stuff, like with 0:15:55.120 --> 0:15:57.040 my music, but I'm like, wait, the people that listen 0:15:57.080 --> 0:15:59.440 to my music. I need to focus, even if it's 0:15:59.480 --> 0:16:02.600 whatever the number may be. Like, I can't compare myself. 0:16:02.640 --> 0:16:04.360 I don't want to compare myself to people that are 0:16:04.360 --> 0:16:06.200 streaming millions and millions, and I say I'm like, what 0:16:06.200 --> 0:16:07.800 the heck they just started and they're streaming all this. 0:16:07.960 --> 0:16:10.360 Like if I continue to do that, imagine like I'm 0:16:10.360 --> 0:16:12.120 never gonna focus on trying to like bring out a 0:16:12.120 --> 0:16:13.680 better album that's gonna come out this year and it's 0:16:13.680 --> 0:16:18.040 gonna be amazing. So it's like it's not comparing our 0:16:18.080 --> 0:16:22.200 progress to anyone else's. So trust me. Now, I did 0:16:22.200 --> 0:16:24.080 have a lot of doors shut in my face, a 0:16:24.120 --> 0:16:26.560 lot of people that didn't believe in me, And now 0:16:27.080 --> 0:16:29.640 I see it and people send me messages all the time, 0:16:30.040 --> 0:16:31.560 which because I didn't believe in you, I didn't like 0:16:31.600 --> 0:16:34.120 your music before, like blah blah blah. I was one 0:16:34.160 --> 0:16:36.080 of the people that taught crap about you on the internet. 0:16:36.720 --> 0:16:38.960 And now they're like I love you and thank you, 0:16:39.360 --> 0:16:43.000 Wow you, I admire you, You inspire me and all that. 0:16:43.080 --> 0:16:44.880 Just I'm like, okay, good, I'm glad I didn't give up. 0:16:45.080 --> 0:16:47.640 I'm glad I didn't throw the towel all those times 0:16:47.640 --> 0:16:50.680 that I wanted to, because this is what my mission is. 0:16:50.840 --> 0:16:53.280 God wanted, this is part of what I'm supposed to do. 0:16:53.320 --> 0:16:56.000 This is part of my testimony. So hopefully that really 0:16:56.040 --> 0:16:58.680 does seep into your heart and help you in some 0:16:58.800 --> 0:17:00.760 way that could be anything. It is have to be music. 0:17:00.760 --> 0:17:02.280 It doesn't have to be what I'm doing. It could 0:17:02.280 --> 0:17:06.080 be anything. And in those moments when I have felt down, 0:17:06.200 --> 0:17:10.040 or even now, when I felt like just disappointed and 0:17:10.160 --> 0:17:12.080 let down by people, or even let down by the 0:17:12.080 --> 0:17:15.280 industry or whatever the case may be, for a long time, 0:17:15.280 --> 0:17:17.040 I went to food, you guys, I was like, I'm 0:17:17.080 --> 0:17:19.120 gonna have a fat ass pizza and some ice cream 0:17:19.119 --> 0:17:20.280 and I don't care, and I'm just gonna lay in 0:17:20.359 --> 0:17:22.760 bed and I would just sit there and cry. And 0:17:22.880 --> 0:17:26.440 I did that a lot. Twenty thirteen, twenty fourteen, twenty fifteen, sixteen, 0:17:26.960 --> 0:17:28.760 it was a lot of that. And that's when I 0:17:28.760 --> 0:17:30.800 think I gained my most weight because I've always had 0:17:30.800 --> 0:17:33.840 an issue with food, you know, until I started learning 0:17:33.880 --> 0:17:35.679 to just say, Okay, wait a second, I'm gonna use 0:17:35.720 --> 0:17:37.800 I'm gonna still eat, but I'm gonna have some grapes better, 0:17:37.920 --> 0:17:40.080 you know, try not to have the whole tub of 0:17:40.080 --> 0:17:42.879 ice cream. Because I love food, you guys, I love food, 0:17:43.200 --> 0:17:46.639 But now more than anything, I don't know what happened. 0:17:46.680 --> 0:17:50.000 It happened last year where I just I'm like, you know, 0:17:50.119 --> 0:17:52.560 I know who I am I know that I meant 0:17:52.560 --> 0:17:54.720 to do this. This is part of it, and I 0:17:54.760 --> 0:17:57.080 have to understand that not everyone's gonna love me and 0:17:57.119 --> 0:18:00.320 accept me. And once I did that, it just gave 0:18:00.320 --> 0:18:02.160