Speaker 1: Hell, Hi Suck At Dating with Dean, Vanessa and Jared
Speaker 1: and I Heart Radio Podcast. Hello, Hello, Hello everyone, Thank
Speaker 1: you so much for joining us on yet another episode
Speaker 1: of help I Suck at Dating. I'm Dean Ungler, joined
Speaker 1: in studio by Jared Haban and killed that in Droman
Speaker 1: joined Killed in Montreal via face time with Vanessa Grimaldi.
Speaker 1: Yeah that's our sound of applot. I don't know why
Speaker 1: the hell Vanessa gets a round of applause, not me,
Speaker 1: of course, Mark and Easton are in the studio as well.
Speaker 1: We've got a great episode coming up for you guys.
Speaker 1: We have uh sunny crap. Now you have me Sonny
Speaker 1: saying sunny. She goes by Sunny for short, you guys,
Speaker 1: it's not sunshine. Shan is gonna be joining us in studio.
Speaker 1: We're gonna talk about Jared, who just made a trip
Speaker 1: down to Mexico to celebrate one of the best things
Speaker 1: on this planet, which we call love. And we're going
Speaker 1: to just kind of get an update on where everything
Speaker 1: else is at and maybe the answer some emails. I'm pumped.
Speaker 1: It's gonna be a great episode, and let's start with Jared. Jared,
Speaker 1: so you just came back you're looking very tann And actually,
Speaker 1: I know you mentioned that I made sure I laid
Speaker 1: out in that son. Well. Yeah. So it was announced
Speaker 1: that christ and Chris still from Bachelor in Paradise, who
Speaker 1: got engaged last year, got married in Paradise this year,
Speaker 1: and Ashley and I were very lucky to make the
Speaker 1: trip down there and witness, uh would witness their marriage,
Speaker 1: witness their nobody's paying attention to me, and witness their
Speaker 1: their matrimony, their matrimony. Thank you, that's the word I'm
Speaker 1: looking for. Look beautiful. She did look beautiful. The picture
Speaker 1: came out on People magazine. His talks was awesome. I
Speaker 1: was actually looking at his tucks and then I turned
Speaker 1: to Ashlyn and I said, that's exactly how I want
Speaker 1: to look at our wedding because it was so form fitting.
Speaker 1: Here's the thing about that, though, is maybe his form
Speaker 1: is just a better look than yours. I choose not
Speaker 1: to believe that. Dean. Wait, are you keeping are you
Speaker 1: key be in your suit my talks? Yeah, oh yeah,
Speaker 1: so I'm keeping it. So it's yeah, you can get formed.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, so I'll be formfitted. And then his was
Speaker 1: as well, and Crystal looked beautiful and it was a
Speaker 1: really nice ceremony. Obviously, I can't really give too many
Speaker 1: details away because it will be airing later this this
Speaker 1: summer on Bachelor in Paradise when it exactly airs, I
Speaker 1: don't know, but you spill any deeds about Bachelor in
Speaker 1: Paradise that you can share. Um, all I can say is, actually,
Speaker 1: to be fair, I don't even know what the hell
Speaker 1: I'm the love, But what I feel like i'm okay
Speaker 1: to say is that I did see maybe some people
Speaker 1: that are down in Paradise forming or not forming some relationships,
Speaker 1: really know how to sit on offense, don't you? So?
Speaker 1: I we we may have seen some people. You saw fireworks,
Speaker 1: and I'm not talking about the ones in the sky.
Speaker 1: We could have seen some fireworks or people who are
Speaker 1: currently experiencing fireworks, and then maybe some people who are
Speaker 1: unfortunately not experiencing fireworks. Right now, that that's not a
Speaker 1: teaser that encourage you to watch Bachelor in Paradise, I
Speaker 1: don't know what is, because they should really hiring me,
Speaker 1: hiring me as their marketing manager at this point, I'm
Speaker 1: sure you're in a weird spot because, like you want
Speaker 1: to obviously be able to talk about it, but you
Speaker 1: can because it's gonna be airing on TV in three
Speaker 1: months exactly. So, but it was announced that we were
Speaker 1: at the wedding, so we I can say, hey, I
Speaker 1: was there to witness it. They got married. It was
Speaker 1: a really nice ceremony. It was a lot of fun um.
Speaker 1: So that's not the only news coming out of the
Speaker 1: Bachelor world, the fact that Chris and Crystal got married
Speaker 1: down in Paradise. But they released some of the cast.
Speaker 1: Did you guys see this? This cast, I think is
Speaker 1: the probably the best looking cast. Why do you say
Speaker 1: that they're all so beautiful? I know that's Dean and
Speaker 1: I were on Paradise. Okay, I'm sorry, I'm just saying
Speaker 1: the women are. I will say, looking at this cast list,
Speaker 1: the women drastically outperformed them out. Well all right, well,
Speaker 1: well let's talk about the men first. Let's do that.
Speaker 1: So the first man that I see is Blake Hortsman,
Speaker 1: who we knew that came you love Blake? Yeah? Okay, Uh,
Speaker 1: what else we got, Chris? Are your friends with Chris Bukowski?
Speaker 1: Well Bukowski was on We'll hold let's talk about Blake first.
Speaker 1: So Blake was on number two on becka season. He
Speaker 1: was a big name coming in. Everybody expected him to
Speaker 1: be in Paradise. He is in Paradise. Blake was on
Speaker 1: the show, was off the show for a full year,
Speaker 1: and then came back to Paradise. He lived a lot
Speaker 1: in that year, And yeah, you know, especially you're coming
Speaker 1: off the show, you kind of get the celebrity status,
Speaker 1: especially some of them like Blake, whose second you know,
Speaker 1: I'm sure picking up women is a lot easier obviously, right,
Speaker 1: you know, so maybe that cross some issues going into Paradise.
Speaker 1: Who knows, really, who knows what could come, but it
Speaker 1: should be very interesting. But I've hung out with Blake.
Speaker 1: I like Blake as a person. Um, so we'll see.
Speaker 1: Who knows, you know, a lot of people are shipping
Speaker 1: Blake and Hannah ge super hot in her cast photo.
Speaker 1: Yeah there's hand and g in her red bathing suit
Speaker 1: by the pool. It looks like she's been a swimsuit
Speaker 1: model for five years at least since eighteen apparent, I
Speaker 1: mean with the most age appropriate John Paul Jones looked
Speaker 1: like siblings show was there. She do look like siblings,
Speaker 1: brother and sister. Maybe that will be a nice bachelor
Speaker 1: in Paradise. Twist John Paul Jones. Vanessa, Let's let's play
Speaker 1: this exercise, Vanessa, Let's say you didn't have an amazing boyfriend.
Speaker 1: Which of these guys, just based off their cast photo,
Speaker 1: would you be most interested in? Oh god, okay, So
Speaker 1: there's once you look through it and then I'm just
Speaker 1: going to quickly announce it was so blake for the guys.
Speaker 1: It's blake. Uh. Cam also from uh from Handed season.
Speaker 1: Excuse me, Cam was the one who quote unquote trying
Speaker 1: to get the pitty Rose, which I think was I
Speaker 1: actually don't agree with that pitty rose thing. That not
Speaker 1: not from his end, but he never said pitty rose. Anyway,
Speaker 1: long story Chris Pokowski, who's kind of a veteran. Do
Speaker 1: you guys know who Chris Pokowski is not? Who's that? So?
Speaker 1: Chris Pokowski was originally on Emily Maynard season, and then
Speaker 1: he tried to get on Andy Dorfman season but she
Speaker 1: did not allow him on. Then he was on two
Speaker 1: seasons or excuse me, he was on Bachelor Pad. Then
Speaker 1: he was on Bachelor Paradise the guy I was gonna
Speaker 1: that's the guy I was gonna pick. Oh yeah, and
Speaker 1: then he was on my season of Bachelor in Paradise
Speaker 1: season two, and that was his fifth fifth season, I believe.
Speaker 1: So when my first season in Paradise, he was known
Speaker 1: as like the veteran and he came in, came in
Speaker 1: for one night, got really drunk, and left. And then
Speaker 1: on TV he announced his retirement from reality TV. They
Speaker 1: had like this whole ceremony and they like raised his
Speaker 1: jersey to the banner and I forgot his jersey was
Speaker 1: like a you know, a Paradise button down, so they
Speaker 1: raised it up in the rafters. He was retired, and
Speaker 1: then and then the cast got announced in boom, Chris
Speaker 1: Pokowski back. He's got some piercing eyeball. He looks cute.
Speaker 1: He's a good looking man. He was. He was fourth
Speaker 1: on Emily season. We also have differ an actor. Yeah,
Speaker 1: an actor. I can see that, like kind of I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna get it. Anyways, Derek Derek's on here too,
Speaker 1: So Derek Peth. We all know Derek. Probably he was
Speaker 1: on Joseusons cast vote as well. Yeah, really laws some
Speaker 1: weight maybe. Well. Derek is known because he was engaged
Speaker 1: to Vanessa's good friend Taylor. How do you feel about
Speaker 1: Derek being down there, Vanessa, I just, um, I guess
Speaker 1: I didn't picture Derek as someone who would go back
Speaker 1: into the franchise. Why do you say that because he
Speaker 1: had a bad experience the first time around? He did
Speaker 1: He don't feel like he had a bad experience. Well,
Speaker 1: it just sounds like, I mean, he obviously got engaged
Speaker 1: and the engagement didn't work out. Yeah, but that's okay.
Speaker 1: I guess when I when I had met him with Taylor,
Speaker 1: I felt like he was just not you know, it
Speaker 1: was like cool with not being part of the franchise anymore,
Speaker 1: or just didn't you know, I wanted to go back
Speaker 1: to work and like do his own thing. So yeah,
Speaker 1: so you're surprised to see him there because it seemed
Speaker 1: like he wanted to disassociate. Yeah, I don't know if
Speaker 1: it was disassociated, but I just felt like he was
Speaker 1: happy with, you know, having being a part of it.
Speaker 1: And then I guess, I'm I'm surprised that he's back on.
Speaker 1: But I mean, listen, for me, there's no hard feelings
Speaker 1: because he did nothing to me, so I don't want anyway. Yeah,
Speaker 1: did he do anything He did you do anything to
Speaker 1: your friend? Yeah, that's a good question. No, it's not
Speaker 1: my story. Can we have Taylor on the podcast? Maybe
Speaker 1: we did have Taylor on the podcast. I know that,
Speaker 1: but this was before obviously her fiance was announced on
Speaker 1: this season of Paradise. Do you think if how about
Speaker 1: this an open an open invitation, if Tyler wants to
Speaker 1: come in the podcast and talk about she's about the
Speaker 1: welcome to Oh yeah, of course, if she's open and
Speaker 1: willing to talk about you know, but I think she's
Speaker 1: so over is she's like in a happy relationship, and
Speaker 1: I think she also wants to disassociate her, disassociate herself
Speaker 1: from from franchise. Well that's very fair, Okay, So next
Speaker 1: up we have Clay Harbor. Clay was the football player
Speaker 1: on Beckett season who left. He like heard himself. Do
Speaker 1: you guys remember this brooke his wrist? Yeah, and then
Speaker 1: he had to leave. Now he's also pretty known because
Speaker 1: him and Angela had an off camera relationship as like
Speaker 1: a mini bachelor. That sounds so obnoxious. I can't believe
Speaker 1: I almost just said that as like a bachelor couple.
Speaker 1: Almost said mini bachelor couple, which is I want to
Speaker 1: slap myself because the words almost a camera out of
Speaker 1: my mouth. Um, but like a bachelor couple offcame. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he's like stroking the mic. I don't know what he's doing.
Speaker 1: Why were you stroking your what's up with up on
Speaker 1: Dean Day. I'm just hanging out. We were just doing something.
Speaker 1: I don't know what's going on over here. So that.
Speaker 1: Um So, he had an off camera relationship with Angela
Speaker 1: that ended up obviously not working out, which is why
Speaker 1: he's back in Paradise. We have John Paul Jones, my favorite.
Speaker 1: I'm a big JPJ guy. He seems funny. He seems
Speaker 1: really funny. I loved his intro when he came out
Speaker 1: and he said, Hi, my name is John Paul Jones.
Speaker 1: My friend called me John Paul Jones, so you can
Speaker 1: call me John Pone Jones. I'll see you inside. You're
Speaker 1: not gonna forget, no, not at all. Um So, I'm
Speaker 1: excited to see what he's going to be like in Paradise.
Speaker 1: I feel like he's going to be a fan favorite.
Speaker 1: We have Kevin forton Berry, who I don't know much about.
Speaker 1: He's on hand of season this year. He's lucky he's
Speaker 1: there because he could definitely use a tan based off
Speaker 1: this photo. Very pale, poor guy he is. He's just
Speaker 1: he's listening, you know. The son is just reflecting right off,
Speaker 1: and I think a little bit. And then well, Wills
Speaker 1: was on their Wills. I know, I'm really excited that
Speaker 1: Wills is back on their Wills. Was on Becca Becca
Speaker 1: K season and then he was on Paradise last year,
Speaker 1: but he was only there around like a week or so,
Speaker 1: I think. Um, so I'm really hoping Wills hits it
Speaker 1: off with somebody. We're all rooting for him here, all right,
Speaker 1: So Vanessa, remove the boyfriend from the equation, just based
Speaker 1: off of the pictures alone, who do you think would
Speaker 1: you be most interested in, at least talking to you
Speaker 1: down there? Well, I had said Chris Bosh. Yeah, he's
Speaker 1: cute in his picture. I probably go for him too,
Speaker 1: because he looks older. Um yeah, And I had no
Speaker 1: idea who he was, so I was intriguing. Now and
Speaker 1: he's a good he's I've met him a couple of times.
Speaker 1: I really like Chris. I think he's a good dude.
Speaker 1: Seems yeah. Maybe, I mean I'd let him her own
Speaker 1: mista's yeah, why not. Now for the women, the first
Speaker 1: one announces Analyse Puccini I've never seen last name written
Speaker 1: out before. This is the first for that. No. So,
Speaker 1: Analyse was on our season, she was on Paradise last
Speaker 1: year and now she's back for another round. I really
Speaker 1: like Analyse. I'm rooting. She's very sweet. She just desperately
Speaker 1: wants to be in a relationship. This is her third
Speaker 1: go at it. I believe third go at it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think so. She's a beautiful woman. She has great
Speaker 1: in her picture, she's a beautiful woman in person. I'm
Speaker 1: really rooting for Analyse. Then we have Bibiana, who I
Speaker 1: don't really know, but actually yeah, oh yeah, you know. Oh,
Speaker 1: she's like she's just so cool and um, she's confident
Speaker 1: and she just has like such great energy about her,
Speaker 1: which which is why I'm so confused why she's single
Speaker 1: and why she's back on because I mean, if I
Speaker 1: were a guy, she had a boyfriend for a hot minute,
Speaker 1: she didn't have a boyfriend. I don't know what happened
Speaker 1: with that, but she is just I mean, my god,
Speaker 1: she's studying Dean. Wouldn't you date her? No? I would not.
Speaker 1: You wouldn't No. I can't be I can't. I honestly
Speaker 1: can't sit here and say I'm a baby fan because
Speaker 1: of my boy Peter. Oh, I forgot about that. Sides
Speaker 1: to a stories, you only heard one. No, you're absolutely right.
Speaker 1: I agree with everything with with that statement. She's a
Speaker 1: beautiful girl. She maybe is one of them, if not
Speaker 1: the most attractive girl to come out of the franchise.
Speaker 1: Say for Vanessa, but obviously you know one of my
Speaker 1: really good friends, and Peter and her had the thing.
Speaker 1: It didn't really go so well. And so, like Vanessa said,
Speaker 1: I've only heard Peter side of things, and because of that,
Speaker 1: even if things went well between them, I wouldn't be interested,
Speaker 1: because you know, it's bro code. Yeah, that makes sense.
Speaker 1: Bibion is definitely a fan favor. I'm surprised she didn't
Speaker 1: stick around in Paradise last year longer. I remember thinking
Speaker 1: she left way too early, So I'm hoping she sticks
Speaker 1: around for a while here. Then we have Allen Miller
Speaker 1: keys uh Now. Kalin is On was on Colton season.
Speaker 1: She was fourth or fifth after hometowns um and she
Speaker 1: was a fan favorite, little controversial because it was like
Speaker 1: the beauty queen fight between her and Hannah b who
Speaker 1: obviously ultimately became the Bachelorrette um So I'm excited to
Speaker 1: discover more about Klin because I feel like she kind
Speaker 1: of got a little bit of a bad rap um.
Speaker 1: I don't think she came off the best on the Bachelor,
Speaker 1: So I'm excited to see more of her in Paradise
Speaker 1: and see what she's like. And then, yeah, she seems cool.
Speaker 1: And then Demi Demi obviously a fan favorite. Demi Burnett. Uh,
Speaker 1: she was on Colton season ironic. Their last name is
Speaker 1: Burnett Burnett because she's a blonde. She's like a platinum
Speaker 1: white blonde. Well it's not Brunette's Burnett, but close enough,
Speaker 1: I guess. Uh, So Demi was a fan favorite. Obviously,
Speaker 1: she's probably gonna stir up some crazy is down in Paradise.
Speaker 1: You don't know who's really going to stir up some
Speaker 1: craziness in Paradise. Is the next one on the list,
Speaker 1: Hannah Geyah. Every guy who goes down there is going
Speaker 1: to be all over her, all over handag. She's going
Speaker 1: to be the number one for every guy. Right, you
Speaker 1: can already see it. I mean, yeah, I think every
Speaker 1: guy that goes down there, especially like the later rivals
Speaker 1: with date cards, because you know, she's obviously gonna get
Speaker 1: coupled up with pretty quickly, you would imagine, because guys
Speaker 1: are gonna be pining for her, she's gonna get She's
Speaker 1: gonna have to like juggle a couple of people at
Speaker 1: first until she really settles on who she wants. And
Speaker 1: then yeah, so like the guys that are coming down
Speaker 1: with date cards are probably gonna askr it''s gonna be awkward, intense.
Speaker 1: She seems like a sweet girl. I bet she She's
Speaker 1: gonna be in spots where she wants to say no
Speaker 1: but kind of says yes because she's just too kind,
Speaker 1: and hopefully that helps her, Like, hopefully that doesn't put
Speaker 1: her into trouble. You know, I don't think it will.
Speaker 1: I think she's gonna be really popular and then hopefully, yeah, hopefully.
Speaker 1: Now I know a lot of people are shipping her
Speaker 1: and Blake, so I guess we'll see how that all
Speaker 1: hands out on Paradise. Everybody's expecting them to be a
Speaker 1: big couple down there. Then we have Jane a favor book.
Speaker 1: Favor book. Yeah, I'm not gonna be gonna try that one.
Speaker 1: It's a difficult one. Um, she's from Colton season I'm
Speaker 1: gonna sound like a jerk here. I don't remember her
Speaker 1: from Australia or something. I agree. When I first saw
Speaker 1: a picture, I thought, oh, yeah, they're bringing in somebody
Speaker 1: from a different Bachelor for you, kind of like what
Speaker 1: they did with Winter Games. And we were wrong. She
Speaker 1: was on Colton season season to make a very lasting impression,
Speaker 1: so hopefully. But there's a lot of night wonders. I mean,
Speaker 1: look at the grocery Storge Joe. You know, I don't
Speaker 1: know if the growth the night wander, but no, you know,
Speaker 1: grocer stor Joe gone. Night one came into Paradise obviously
Speaker 1: huge name. I remember Vinny dj uh from Jojo season,
Speaker 1: Vinceane it wasn't really that well known from his season
Speaker 1: of the Bachelorette and then became pretty much like a
Speaker 1: fan favorite on Paradise. And honestly Wells too. Wells wasn't
Speaker 1: really that well known on I mean he he didn't
Speaker 1: really gain a lot of popularity until he went to Paradise.
Speaker 1: Because if you guys remember Wells on JoJo's season, he
Speaker 1: was the awkward guy who didn't know how to kiss Jojo.
Speaker 1: He like he was on Now I know I'm looking
Speaker 1: at him now, you know, sex symbol that guy. Um.
Speaker 1: And then we have Katie Moore and who was on
Speaker 1: Colton season. And Katie's notoriously known because apparently Kaylin and
Speaker 1: Cassie said something on the season that Katie overheard, and
Speaker 1: then it was all this drama. Do you remember that
Speaker 1: at all? We're no. It was like apparently like Caitlin
Speaker 1: and Cassie were saying they wanted to be yeah, they
Speaker 1: want to be bachelor. At Katie heard it. There was
Speaker 1: all this drama. Katie is a beautiful girl, one of
Speaker 1: the more most beautiful eyes you'll ever see striking, So
Speaker 1: she's gonna be very popular down there. Then we have
Speaker 1: Nicole Lopez Alvar. She cried a lot on Colton season.
Speaker 1: I remember that. Yes, she's really pretty. It looks like,
Speaker 1: judging by this picture that I see pretty girl from Miami. Um. Yeah,
Speaker 1: she was like she cried a lot on Colden season.
Speaker 1: He looks like she'd be from Miami. You know, she
Speaker 1: looks she's at the look Miami yummy yammi um will
Speaker 1: Smith come on? Uh? So then we also have on Yeka.
Speaker 1: Now on Yeka is known because actually her Nicole had
Speaker 1: a field on Colton season. I remember just there was
Speaker 1: like a big argument. They were fighting. So I'm sure
Speaker 1: those two would be fighting within the Paradise uh Sands
Speaker 1: this summer. We also have Sydney. I'm not even gonna
Speaker 1: attend her last name. I'm so bad with names. Twaco,
Speaker 1: look Twaco, maybe something like that. I think something like
Speaker 1: Sidney L Dude, I'm so bad at pronouncing names. It's
Speaker 1: pathetic when we have Sydney from Cold season that we
Speaker 1: have Tasha, who's third on Colton season. She's gonna be
Speaker 1: a popular one. There's beautiful girl. She's so well composed
Speaker 1: and she's so well spoken. Yes she is. I thought
Speaker 1: the same thing on Colton season. And then Will's like
Speaker 1: we talked about earlier, well that the cast, so same exercise.
Speaker 1: Vanessa chose Chris just based off the cast photos. Who
Speaker 1: would you be most interested in if you were not
Speaker 1: with Ashley? Who I be most interested in? That's a
Speaker 1: great question. Um, probably Tame too. You'd say Katie. I
Speaker 1: think I think Katie. Yeah, Katie's a beautiful girl, so yeah,
Speaker 1: I'll say Katie. What about you? Who would you say?
Speaker 1: I mean, like I said, if I didn't know anything
Speaker 1: about any of them and there was no bias whatsoever.
Speaker 1: It'd be Biby. It'd be Bibby. Yeah, look AT's stunning.
Speaker 1: Literally got done saying safer Vanessa. She might be one
Speaker 1: of the moose beautiful girls in the franchise. So what happens?
Speaker 1: Like you would what if Peter heard this podcast and
Speaker 1: was like, hey, bro, don't worry about it, go for
Speaker 1: go for Bibby. I think that he would have no
Speaker 1: issue if I pursued Bibbie. I don't think that that's
Speaker 1: something that I would feel comfortable doing, though, knowing that
Speaker 1: they have a history a and it's just like, is
Speaker 1: the history that intense? Is it that much of a history?
Speaker 1: Or is it the fact that they were like news
Speaker 1: articles and stuff written about the two of them? I
Speaker 1: think kind of, you know, it wasn't necessarily their fault
Speaker 1: for creating the history. Well, but the public side of
Speaker 1: it totally changes the fact. I agree with you there.
Speaker 1: I guess the exercise there was just for the cast
Speaker 1: volts alone. Like you know, Bybye obviously is a beautiful girl.
Speaker 1: That's that's where that would come from. But um, yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean it'll be it'll be in paradise. If I
Speaker 1: were a guy, I would pick Bibby and um and
Speaker 1: Tasia mm hmm, yeah, yeah, I mean can't wrong with
Speaker 1: any of them. I mean they're all beautiful and beautiful.
Speaker 1: It's such a good cast. Everyone is so good looking. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so that should create a lot of drama down there.
Speaker 1: So I think we're all very excited to watch Bachelor
Speaker 1: in Paradise this summer. It's really it might be one
Speaker 1: of my favorite shows. I'm not even gonna lie. I
Speaker 1: know I'm biased we were on the show, but in
Speaker 1: terms of the entertainment value, it's really I guess that's
Speaker 1: because you also know what goes on behind scenes and
Speaker 1: how lax it is compared to Bachelor and Bachelorette. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's just a lot. I just like it because there's
Speaker 1: always people coming, there's always always people going. There's there's
Speaker 1: flip flops, and then there's people you know in a
Speaker 1: relationship and then you know, girl walks down and the
Speaker 1: guys like, well, I'm going I'm gonna ask her on
Speaker 1: a day and take a chance, and then it's just
Speaker 1: it's a little bit more self deprecating too, and a
Speaker 1: lot funnier. I like that aspect of it that they
Speaker 1: don't take it as seriously because I think, listen that
Speaker 1: the concept of going on a TV show and trying
Speaker 1: to meet the love of your life is very weird
Speaker 1: in general. So I like how Paradise kind of accepts
Speaker 1: that and owns it, leans into it, leans into it,
Speaker 1: and it makes such a compelling TV show for me
Speaker 1: that I I look forward to this time of year
Speaker 1: every year. And I also gotta admit I really like
Speaker 1: the casting of Bokowski and Derek Path because I like
Speaker 1: I like that they're throwing some old school guys in there,
Speaker 1: because it makes it a little bit more fun, because
Speaker 1: I get it. I want to see the young cast
Speaker 1: who just came off a hand of season in Colton
Speaker 1: season on there because they're popular and I want to
Speaker 1: see them get a second chance of love. But I
Speaker 1: also kind of like seeing, you know, guys and girls
Speaker 1: that come from previous seasons who you haven't seen in
Speaker 1: a while, and you're like, oh, like Bakowski, it's like,
Speaker 1: holy crap, yeah that was four years ago he was
Speaker 1: on Paradise. It's kind of like, I don't know, it
Speaker 1: makes it feel weird that they're on season six and
Speaker 1: you were on season two, seasons two and three. Is
Speaker 1: it weird that they're already season six and you started
Speaker 1: on two. Yeah, it's weird. Actually, and I were talking
Speaker 1: about this. This was our fifth straight year uh taking
Speaker 1: a trip down to Paradise, which was insane. This year, Yeah,
Speaker 1: this year we went down to Port de Viotra and
Speaker 1: we saw christ and Crystal get married. Last year we
Speaker 1: went down there got engaged. Year before that we went
Speaker 1: down there, Vanessa. You were there as well, Carly and
Speaker 1: Evans wedding, and then the year before that was Bachelor
Speaker 1: in Paradise season three, and then the year before that
Speaker 1: was Bachelor Paradise season two. Oh my god. It every
Speaker 1: year was a different relationship. Yeah, so five years in
Speaker 1: a row. It's pretty insane how impactful that place has
Speaker 1: been for us every year. I mean, we're super grateful
Speaker 1: for it. We just feel really lucky that they keep
Speaker 1: asking us back sometimes. I was actually thinking about this yesterday.
Speaker 1: I feel like we kind of hit the lottery in
Speaker 1: a weird way, you know, absolutely, and then it's like
Speaker 1: going back on the show, it's kind of like you're
Speaker 1: just replaying the same numbers and just winning a smaller amount. Yeah, no,
Speaker 1: we did with a lottery, like are the time all
Speaker 1: three of us came into the Bachelor franchise, it was
Speaker 1: just I feel like people were they still are, They're engaged,
Speaker 1: people are interested. The popularity of the show only continues
Speaker 1: to grow. And I think also, let's be honest, Instagram
Speaker 1: kind of changed the game for everybody within this show
Speaker 1: and we came into a time where I think we're
Speaker 1: both all of us kind of trying to just figure
Speaker 1: out what the hell Instagram was. And if you think
Speaker 1: about it, the lucky the Bachelorette is the reason that
Speaker 1: I be able to live in a van. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: I'm great, Well Bachelor I and Bachelor in Paradise, well yeah,
Speaker 1: but I'm just saying Bachelotte was the reason I did
Speaker 1: Bachelor in Paradise, which is reason ID Winter Games, which
Speaker 1: that then allowed me to have the ability to move
Speaker 1: into a van. Totally have this podcast. Thanks Bachelortte for
Speaker 1: having this podcast. It really is like I I mean,
Speaker 1: it's not like I don't think, you know, they're perfect,
Speaker 1: But by no means am I ever not grateful for
Speaker 1: the franchise and everything they've done for us. Sometimes sometimes
Speaker 1: I get upset, like when I do those interviews, you know,
Speaker 1: like totally when relationships are fick I think. I yeah,
Speaker 1: it's easy to get bad news and be like, oh
Speaker 1: this sucks, but then like, if you really sit down
Speaker 1: and reflect on it, we can't be anything but grateful.
Speaker 1: So totally, they've given us a lot, including this this podcast. Um,
Speaker 1: but uh, well, I think we've also done a pretty
Speaker 1: good job. We've we we've all worked hard as well,
Speaker 1: so let's give ourselves a little credit there. Um, but
Speaker 1: I'm super excited. So Bachelor in Paradise, this log is
Speaker 1: pretty exciting. I'm sure more cast members will be announced
Speaker 1: as we get closer, uh to airtime, but we have
Speaker 1: a pretty awesome podcast. We have a show coming up
Speaker 1: with Sunny Shin Sunshine. Sunshine, she goes by Sunny you guys,
Speaker 1: her and Graham handle is literally sunny. That's fair. Actually anyways,
Speaker 1: we are going to have her on next but before that,
Speaker 1: we are going to take one quick break. We have
Speaker 1: a special guest in studio joining us. Sitting right next
Speaker 1: to me. Actually it is Sunshine Shin Sunshine, thank you
Speaker 1: so much for joining us. I really appreciate it. So, Sunshine,
Speaker 1: you are known for being a playmate. Yes, I was
Speaker 1: published two teen in May and that was okay. Got you,
Speaker 1: miss may Well. Congratulations on that, Vanessa, you were Miss April, right,
Speaker 1: I think so like more padded bras for that, I'll
Speaker 1: stop that. I don't know. You posted a pretty racy
Speaker 1: Instagram yesterday that I look it was not looked. She
Speaker 1: looked azing. Even Ashley allowed me to say, all right,
Speaker 1: Vanessa looks really good in that picture. Actually signed off
Speaker 1: on it. Guys. Sometimes, but you've been doing this for
Speaker 1: a while, right with with Playboy, you know what. Um,
Speaker 1: I started with botty painting. UM. I was have spotty
Speaker 1: painted lady, I think in two thousand fifteen until the
Speaker 1: last Mindsummer's Pretty um, which he I believe he died
Speaker 1: a few months later. So UM. Yeah, you know, I
Speaker 1: definitely had the opportun medea of experience experience seeing some
Speaker 1: pretty cool parties and events. I've always been curious, what
Speaker 1: is it like dating for you? Dating? Um or do
Speaker 1: you have a boyfriend or anything? No, you know what,
Speaker 1: It's funny because after UM, I feel like I kind
Speaker 1: of went through a spiritual awakening UM. And now I
Speaker 1: feel like I'm at the place where I'm kind of
Speaker 1: all about self love and self fulfillment. UM. And it
Speaker 1: may sound a little selfish in a way. UM, but
Speaker 1: I feel like my cup is like overflowing and right
Speaker 1: now I'm not really willing to share it in a way. UM,
Speaker 1: but I feel like, well, at least I believe like
Speaker 1: if you kind of find yourself, UM, you don't really
Speaker 1: quite need anybody else completely young. What was the genesis
Speaker 1: of this spiritual awakening? You know, I'm trying to use
Speaker 1: big words today. You know what I think, you know,
Speaker 1: being around My career really started basically in the basement
Speaker 1: of Playboy mancham right, that's where we get painted and everything.
Speaker 1: That was my first the first time I've been exposed
Speaker 1: to kind of like that l A Graham life, I suppose. UM.
Speaker 1: And since then, you know, I lived in Beverly Hills. Um.
Speaker 1: You see a lot of people with a lot of wealth, UM, fame,
Speaker 1: you know, everything that people think that they may want.
Speaker 1: I started actually, UM, I was an assistant from for
Speaker 1: a very famous UM Instagram person who I feel like
Speaker 1: I should not name, but UM, so I got to
Speaker 1: travel a lot. I travel the world, UM, and it
Speaker 1: was it was a great experience. However, I feel like
Speaker 1: at the end of the day, no one's actually really
Speaker 1: happy UM and their relationship did not last of course. UM,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, who was this the Instagram couple, well, the
Speaker 1: the Instagram king. I really I signed the NDA, So
Speaker 1: I don't think I can say we always try to
Speaker 1: get the names out background with this little later on. Um.
Speaker 1: So I don't know. So at the end of the day,
Speaker 1: I just feel like looking at the outcome of their
Speaker 1: relationships and UM, it just doesn't it doesn't seem like
Speaker 1: a positive experience. Um, they're not really growing from So
Speaker 1: for someone in your position, doing what you've done and
Speaker 1: being as beautiful as you are, I feel like you
Speaker 1: have to be keeping the guys away with a stick, right,
Speaker 1: you know what. I always feel like you're as safe
Speaker 1: as you want to be. Um. And so when I
Speaker 1: go out, I feel like I kind of put out
Speaker 1: there or where I'm just like, yeah, I don't really
Speaker 1: feel like being approached right now. So surprisingly I don't
Speaker 1: get approach for a lot. No, I don't believe it. No,
Speaker 1: it's true. Thing. You guys are way too beautiful to
Speaker 1: not get approached. Yeah, I agree, you're you're beautiful. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you're way too It's not bad in today, I know
Speaker 1: that's I know that sounds weird. But it's like guys
Speaker 1: typically are really forward when it comes to that kind
Speaker 1: of stuff. They tend to go from my friends. They
Speaker 1: will talk to my girlfriends. Yeah, probably to get to
Speaker 1: talk to you, I would imagine. I don't know. I
Speaker 1: don't know. I um, I guess picking up guys at
Speaker 1: bars have never really been my thing because they're you're
Speaker 1: not picking them up, they're picking you are. Yeah, you
Speaker 1: know what. I'm allergic to alcohol, so that's probably a
Speaker 1: big factor to So apparently you're more act with more purpose.
Speaker 1: I guess when you're not quite as drunk or at
Speaker 1: the bar doing that kind of stuff. True this year,
Speaker 1: I guess I wouldn't really know. I don't know. It's
Speaker 1: just interesting to me because, um, I don't know, you know, like,
Speaker 1: I'm sure that you still attract a lot of attention
Speaker 1: despite the fact that it seems maybe sometimes guys would
Speaker 1: just be intimidated. I guess, But you know what, it's
Speaker 1: hard because I don't really perceive myself that way. Um,
Speaker 1: so I don't see what other people see in a way. UM,
Speaker 1: I mean, I guess people tend to look a lot,
Speaker 1: but you know, they always do, so you know, you
Speaker 1: just kind of get used to it, UM, So I
Speaker 1: don't know. I'm going to talk more about the spiritual
Speaker 1: awakening and how you want to yeah, because it's such
Speaker 1: an interesting journey going from being a playmate to now
Speaker 1: wanting to connect with millennials and wanting you know, how
Speaker 1: did it so for me when I went to bally
Speaker 1: My It sounds really cliche, but Bally for me kind
Speaker 1: of changed my perspective on what I eat now and
Speaker 1: like how I connect with people and how I empathize.
Speaker 1: So I guess your experience was living in the culture
Speaker 1: of l A and thinking that, oh, definitely UM. But
Speaker 1: when I was traveling around UM with my former employer UM,
Speaker 1: we actually went over to bally Um and I really
Speaker 1: feel like it's such spiritual religious grounds. It really did
Speaker 1: inspire me to kind of stick to my path UM.
Speaker 1: But definitely, for the most part, where propelled me is
Speaker 1: kind of m just not wanting the end result of
Speaker 1: some of the people that I thought for a long
Speaker 1: time I was looking up to UM at least in
Speaker 1: the personal life. You know, as far as hard work,
Speaker 1: Su says, I'm definitely about that, UM, But as far
Speaker 1: as their personal lives, I don't really tend to agree
Speaker 1: with the choices that they were making or who is
Speaker 1: this always? I do like how you said, though, from
Speaker 1: from your time in Los Angeles and your time working
Speaker 1: for celebrities and there's so much fame and money that
Speaker 1: goes around that you've kind of gone through the spiritual
Speaker 1: awakening because you realize that that's just not the important
Speaker 1: things in life. There's a quote, I know, I'm such
Speaker 1: a loser, but there's a quote by Jim Kerrey. By
Speaker 1: all people, oh, I I think he you know, he's
Speaker 1: well known for going through some somewhat of a spiritual
Speaker 1: awakening right now. And one of my favorite quotes by him,
Speaker 1: he said that I often said that I wish people
Speaker 1: could realize are their dreams and wealth and fame, so
Speaker 1: they could see that it's not where they're going to
Speaker 1: find their sense of completion in life. And I couldn't
Speaker 1: agree more with that. I mean, granted, we have, you know,
Speaker 1: Vanessa Dean and myself from just being on the Bachelor,
Speaker 1: a very small taste of what that life is like,
Speaker 1: and I think we can all agree that it's truly
Speaker 1: not as fulfilling as people would probably think it is.
Speaker 1: I I completely agree. Um, I think we we tend
Speaker 1: to ideal lives, um, what we see on TV and
Speaker 1: the image that Hollywood essentially is projecting. And so unless
Speaker 1: I feel like you had like a true l A
Speaker 1: experience or you kind of live you know, in l
Speaker 1: A and it's involved somehow in the entertainment industry, you
Speaker 1: really wouldn't know for sure. Um. And I feel like
Speaker 1: people tend to be like we, we tend to all
Speaker 1: be very ambitious, um and before you know it, you
Speaker 1: kind of like chase this dream. Um. And I feel
Speaker 1: like there's really no into that, you know, and I
Speaker 1: feel like we are goals tend to get bigger, and
Speaker 1: we neglect really what's important, really, like what's the desires
Speaker 1: of connecting interpersonal connection love? And you know, we don't
Speaker 1: listen to our intuition. We neglect, you know, what's in
Speaker 1: our hearts. Um, you know, in pursuit of wealth and fame. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you get distracted by a lot of things that come
Speaker 1: your way, especially in the entertainment and straight But you've
Speaker 1: lived quite a life now. You were born in China,
Speaker 1: I was, and then you came to United States at
Speaker 1: age seven seven I believe so, Um, I was born
Speaker 1: in hard being it's a town actually in the middle,
Speaker 1: right in between the Chinese and Russian border. Um so,
Speaker 1: my mother she has a Kasak background, and my father
Speaker 1: he's Chinese. And then where'd you because you didn't move
Speaker 1: to Los Angeles? So a little bit later, right, um
Speaker 1: so we moved over to Florida first. Um I went
Speaker 1: to Florida's state No state tax, love it, Semonose's the
Speaker 1: one comments you have to think about the state of
Speaker 1: It's a big factor. That's a thirty year old speaking
Speaker 1: right there. No state tax, baby, Sunshine. I'm sorry. I'm
Speaker 1: sorry for that. I apologized. I mean, honestly, I would
Speaker 1: never I feel like Florida is just not a place
Speaker 1: where anybody really wants to be. So I apologize, and listener,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. Sunshine does not reflect the overall idea of
Speaker 1: what this podcast we're all thinking. I mean, I agree
Speaker 1: with her, so so okay, but um to bring it
Speaker 1: back to dating, right, because it is a dating podcast. Okay,
Speaker 1: can you share some like because I'm sure you've been
Speaker 1: in some weird situations with dating, Right, what's the weirdest
Speaker 1: thing that's ever happened to you? Maybe like on a
Speaker 1: date or with a guy that you've been talking to
Speaker 1: you know what? Um? I think for about a year ago, UM,
Speaker 1: I was seeing someone you know casually, and I feel
Speaker 1: like in l A if you kind of like casually
Speaker 1: date someone for you know, a year on and off,
Speaker 1: they we tend to think we're like in a relationship
Speaker 1: because everything is so temporary here. Um. And at the time,
Speaker 1: I started working for my employer, and so every morning
Speaker 1: sometimes I awake Ume get a text from him and says, hey,
Speaker 1: you need to be at the Bourbonk airport now that
Speaker 1: yet is taking off in an our path and let's
Speaker 1: go right and I will be gone for who knows
Speaker 1: how long and a lot of times I don't know
Speaker 1: where I'm going. So so waking up next next to
Speaker 1: someone having to explain to them that you can't spend
Speaker 1: a day with them because of these reasons, it was
Speaker 1: it was pretty interesting. So it was a little weird
Speaker 1: for me. UM. So after that, I basically said, you know, probably,
Speaker 1: you know, if you make a choice between career and love,
Speaker 1: then for now I want to focus on me, right.
Speaker 1: And is that because you would feel guilty about leaving
Speaker 1: someone that you would be interested in behind. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: also because you feel like you know, it's just for now,
Speaker 1: it is probably not going to a good place. Um,
Speaker 1: it's not really like a discussion that I was trying
Speaker 1: to have, you know, I didn't want to have to
Speaker 1: explain myself. But I also feel like I shouldn't be
Speaker 1: in a way because you know, I'm doing it for
Speaker 1: my job, and yeah, exactly can I can I ask
Speaker 1: you to expand on the idea you said people date
Speaker 1: for a year and they think it's temporary. Can you
Speaker 1: just expand on that? You know? I feel like in
Speaker 1: l a, um, everything moves so quickly. Um, and we
Speaker 1: go out, there's you know, beautiful, beautiful people all around us.
Speaker 1: So I feel like, in a way, people can get
Speaker 1: replaced really quickly. And I've seen that like play out
Speaker 1: in so many scenarios, whether that's a Playboy party, you know,
Speaker 1: or a party at the hills you know. Um, and
Speaker 1: people get married and they get divorced within like a
Speaker 1: few months. You see it a lot. Um. So I
Speaker 1: feel like if we start like casually seeing someone for
Speaker 1: a prolonged period of time, both parties began to think, oh, well,
Speaker 1: like we're dating, this is like what a relationship is
Speaker 1: supposed to be. But we an't know, that's really not
Speaker 1: the case. Um. So I feel like in this city,
Speaker 1: um we definitely downplay the idea of relationships, downplay them,
Speaker 1: right because paradox of choice, right, we have so many
Speaker 1: options that our fingertips at all times. It makes it challenging,
Speaker 1: especially in the in the world that playboy world. I
Speaker 1: can only imagine. I've never been to a Playboy but
Speaker 1: I would imagine if a guy were to go, there
Speaker 1: would be like heaven for that guy, you know, so
Speaker 1: like you're you're dating someone. It could definitely be a
Speaker 1: stress test for a relationship for a guy to go
Speaker 1: to the Playboy mansion. But just I feel like any
Speaker 1: event in l a revolving around like the Hollywood, you know, see,
Speaker 1: you're gonna be dealing with that problem. So for our
Speaker 1: listeners who because you do talk about how your cup
Speaker 1: is overflowing and you have so much self love now
Speaker 1: and you don't really have time to date. So for
Speaker 1: our listeners who are in that position where they are
Speaker 1: single but they don't feel that same kind of self
Speaker 1: love and they don't have the confidence and they don't
Speaker 1: have you know, I guess the same type of confidence
Speaker 1: that you have. What kind of advice can you give
Speaker 1: to them to have that self love and not compare
Speaker 1: yourself to other people or other relationships that you do
Speaker 1: see on social media and they seem perfect, but you
Speaker 1: know they're struggling as well well first of all, and
Speaker 1: you think you see on Instagram is basically byes. Take
Speaker 1: in that pictures and it's a padded bro right right.
Speaker 1: So any lifestyle, UM, any person you see, you know,
Speaker 1: either they had like a lot of surgeries or whatever
Speaker 1: it is, their lives are perfect, you know, UM, And
Speaker 1: they probably put in they're willing to put in a
Speaker 1: more a lot more time kind of keeping up with
Speaker 1: that Dog and Pony show versus a lot of people
Speaker 1: who are not so into that type of lifestyle. UM.
Speaker 1: But most importantly, I think people should like go within
Speaker 1: um instead of putting their dreams and hopes into factors
Speaker 1: that are outside of them which they can cannot control. UM.
Speaker 1: And a good way of going about that is just
Speaker 1: be your authentic self. UM. Try to be as truthful
Speaker 1: as you can in any scenario. And it can be
Speaker 1: really hard at first, UM because I feel like our
Speaker 1: pride and ego tends to get in a way. UM.
Speaker 1: But once you kind of overcome that. However, you do
Speaker 1: that in your own way. It's going to take a
Speaker 1: little time, but you will begin to see things like
Speaker 1: very different and not compare yourself to other people. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's really hard not to compare yourself. I think it's
Speaker 1: also really hard to be fully truthful because as human beings,
Speaker 1: I think we're very indecisive and we kind of get
Speaker 1: confused a lot of the times. And I think that's
Speaker 1: where trouble uh comes into the relationship because then when
Speaker 1: you're you're talking about l a relationships where people are
Speaker 1: kind of you know, they're looking at you, but they're
Speaker 1: also looking over your shoulder for the next person, and
Speaker 1: I think that causes a lot of issues because then
Speaker 1: people are like, well, is this the person for me?
Speaker 1: Because would I be looking at this other person if
Speaker 1: this was my soul mate? And so I think some
Speaker 1: people inflate this idea of what a relationship is supposed
Speaker 1: to be, where they kind of forget that commitment is
Speaker 1: a choice and like you have to continue to choose
Speaker 1: that person every day and that doesn't mean it's going
Speaker 1: to come easy. So one of the things one of
Speaker 1: the things for me, I think not speaking on my
Speaker 1: own relationship. It would be such a good house been. Um.
Speaker 1: I think it's really important for us all to kind
Speaker 1: of stay in the present, right, um So not to
Speaker 1: kind of meet someone and right away expect commitment or
Speaker 1: see yourself with them five years, ten years, you know,
Speaker 1: down the line, you're stay in the present. You have
Speaker 1: a good time, and you look at them without judgment.
Speaker 1: And it's so hard, right, and you have to look
Speaker 1: at yourself without judgment in a way because in a
Speaker 1: way you might know that they have other options whatever,
Speaker 1: but you have to also kind of be forgiving on
Speaker 1: yourself and say, you know what, I'm here for the fun,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna I'm gonna stay present, and you know, I
Speaker 1: feel like the person that's meant for me is coming.
Speaker 1: And if this person is meant for me, then I'm
Speaker 1: gonna know. That's kind of how I thought about it too.
Speaker 1: It's always like it's funny, actually, I look back to
Speaker 1: how I used to think about these types of things,
Speaker 1: even as a kid, Like this utopic idea where you
Speaker 1: just go about doing everything that you want to be
Speaker 1: doing in your life and if someone comes in and
Speaker 1: seamlessly integrates into that being, that's fantastic, right, and that's
Speaker 1: why I hear people say things like relationships are compromises
Speaker 1: and all though those things, I'm like, well, but I've
Speaker 1: never really thought of it that way. You know, I
Speaker 1: understand there are certain points if you love someone you
Speaker 1: should compromise for them. Um not you should you have
Speaker 1: to do right. But that's what But that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: But then that goes back that that refutes my point
Speaker 1: that I was trying to make earlier, where it's like,
Speaker 1: if you can love someone, but I think that the
Speaker 1: way that I've used like a soul mate or someone
Speaker 1: that I want to spend the rest of my life with,
Speaker 1: like she'll like get upset with me about certain things,
Speaker 1: but she'll never like ask me to change things about
Speaker 1: myself and vice versa. You know what I mean, yes
Speaker 1: and no, Like speaking from my own experience specifically actually
Speaker 1: my fiance, UM, I can't imagine anybody who's more perfect
Speaker 1: for me. Having said that, there's so many differences that
Speaker 1: we have in our lifestyle, the things that we want,
Speaker 1: the things that we like doing, and so the idea
Speaker 1: I think for someone to say I need to be
Speaker 1: in a relationship, you know, with someone who doesn't want
Speaker 1: me to change at all, I think might be a
Speaker 1: naive way to look at it. Not saying your view
Speaker 1: viewpoints naive. You're very intelligent, smart, good looking, handsome, sexy
Speaker 1: man um but uh but you know, going through this,
Speaker 1: you know, relationship with actually and the engagement and then
Speaker 1: past relationships as well as a younger man and kind
Speaker 1: of looking at the wrongs that I did, I do
Speaker 1: realize now that you have to change a little bit.
Speaker 1: You do not change the person you are, but maybe
Speaker 1: certain aspects of your life that you just you have to.
Speaker 1: It's like, I'm sure Mark can attest this, having kids,
Speaker 1: being married, like there are parts of your life that
Speaker 1: you have to say, well, I have to change because
Speaker 1: if I don't change, then I'm not going to be
Speaker 1: as good as a father or a husband. Bachelor guy,
Speaker 1: husband and dad are three completely different people. I'm just
Speaker 1: gonna keep on doing what I'm doing and if people
Speaker 1: like it, they like it. If they don't like it,
Speaker 1: they can't get the hell out of the way. Get Yeah,
Speaker 1: they're just roadblocks. That's that's honest. That's that's like that
Speaker 1: I'm looking at things honestly, I understand that maybe that's
Speaker 1: why I'm probably single. That's why my relationships always sail.
Speaker 1: But I'm always just like, look, this is what I'm
Speaker 1: gonna be doing, and I don't really want to do
Speaker 1: anything else. Otherwise I would be doing that other thing.
Speaker 1: But you might someday we evolve as humans we evolved.
Speaker 1: I sure hope so. But it's one of the things
Speaker 1: that you don't want to change. I mean, I can't
Speaker 1: think of anything specifically, but I'm sure that they're like
Speaker 1: little mannerisms or or or like semantics, things that I
Speaker 1: could change on a regular basis to help make someone
Speaker 1: like me more for certain reasons. But I just don't
Speaker 1: want to be liked for the reasons that they want
Speaker 1: to like me for. I want to be liked for myself.
Speaker 1: And then I you know, I don't want to say
Speaker 1: they want to compromise on that, and I also wanted
Speaker 1: to be known. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that. And
Speaker 1: in life you just have to weigh options, right, you know, Hey,
Speaker 1: do I want to continue doing what I'm doing because
Speaker 1: I like my life and I want to go down
Speaker 1: that path, But it's also might be um. I mean,
Speaker 1: this is a bad word to use, but you know
Speaker 1: that I can think of like selfish of me too,
Speaker 1: Can you do? Can doing doing that? Because I also
Speaker 1: want a relationship, But those two things don't match up, right,
Speaker 1: So you just, like with anything, you just have to
Speaker 1: make it. But I think that I think to Sunshine's point,
Speaker 1: eventually they will match up. I well, you know, I
Speaker 1: think we go through life and eventually we will all
Speaker 1: meet somebody that kind of inspire or push us to
Speaker 1: go on this like self realization journey, which it sounds
Speaker 1: like you know you went through one was your fiance
Speaker 1: at some point where she kind of inspired you to
Speaker 1: go inside and find yourself and and that you did that,
Speaker 1: and in a way, I think you you saw it
Speaker 1: as a compromise to be with her, but in reality,
Speaker 1: I think she inspired you to become a better person.
Speaker 1: So that in a self is a spiritual awakening, and
Speaker 1: we that's what we actually call it. Um. I think
Speaker 1: we just all need to find a person that is
Speaker 1: can inspire us, you know, in life. And to go
Speaker 1: back to what you both are saying, and to what
Speaker 1: Mark was saying, is that we do evolve as humans.
Speaker 1: So like what you want and need right now, that
Speaker 1: could easily change in two years and then that's when
Speaker 1: maybe two, Sunshine, Sunshine's point your life will match up
Speaker 1: to the point of Oh, now is the time where
Speaker 1: I feel ready to commit myself in a relationship and
Speaker 1: possibly make some sacrifices that are needed in order to
Speaker 1: be in a healthy and successful you know, relationship, engagement, marriage. So, Sunshine,
Speaker 1: you said your cup was overflowing. At what point does
Speaker 1: that cup stop overflowing and give you space for a relationship?
Speaker 1: Just get a bigger cup? Um. You know, I just
Speaker 1: I feel like, look, you know, if IVER come across
Speaker 1: the right person at this point, because I'm willing to
Speaker 1: see my reality for the way it is, and I
Speaker 1: do continue to live in my truth every day on
Speaker 1: a daily basis, I'm going to recognize that person right away,
Speaker 1: you know. Um. I know it sounds silly, but I
Speaker 1: hear all the time prior to I guess this awakening. Um,
Speaker 1: people would say, you know, when you know, you know,
Speaker 1: you know, you're gonna know as soon as you look
Speaker 1: in his eyes or whatever. UM. And I never really
Speaker 1: believe that, UM, because I think I was trying so
Speaker 1: hard to kind of go down to to close and say,
Speaker 1: does this person have these characters? You know? Whatever it is?
Speaker 1: X y Z Um, that kind of satisfy um in
Speaker 1: a sense actually my ego right. Um. But now I
Speaker 1: think I'm so willing to kind of uh lose that
Speaker 1: sense of pride um and not time my own self
Speaker 1: identity on the capabilities of others that I'm willing to
Speaker 1: just be mycent authentic self and say, you know what,
Speaker 1: if I come across this person despite all the shortcomings,
Speaker 1: then I really feel like he's the one, um, and
Speaker 1: I'm willing to you know, change accordingly, I suppose. I
Speaker 1: think something that you just mentioned is actually one of
Speaker 1: my biggest fears as it pertains to relationships, is you
Speaker 1: I would be afraid of losing my self identity as
Speaker 1: well going into relationship because when I see people do that,
Speaker 1: I get a little upset. Not upset, but I always like,
Speaker 1: I always see that, and I'm like, well, okay, I
Speaker 1: definitely don't want that to happen. And so you're saying
Speaker 1: that that's something that you obviously don't want for yourself.
Speaker 1: So you know, Um, as far as a self identity thing,
Speaker 1: I think, um, it's so tied up with the idea
Speaker 1: of like the human ego, and and it's actually something
Speaker 1: that we're supposed to you know, willing. We we have
Speaker 1: to be willing to leave behind behind in order to
Speaker 1: like complete our spiritual journey. Right. So it's a really
Speaker 1: interesting um theory because most of us can't imagine um,
Speaker 1: living going on in life without a self identity. Um So.
Speaker 1: But in a way, once you kind of complete that cycle, um,
Speaker 1: you don't feel things as competition, jealousy, um hey, and
Speaker 1: so you're being what's left within you is just pure
Speaker 1: love and happiness and joy. I know it sounds like
Speaker 1: a fantasy, but I'm kind of I feel like I'm
Speaker 1: getting closer to it every day. Um So, in a way, now,
Speaker 1: what I was saying is that because I feel very
Speaker 1: fulfilled being on my own, I don't expect this person
Speaker 1: to any longer go by what I used to up
Speaker 1: that by my old expectations, um of finding the perfect
Speaker 1: person that fits all of these checkpoints. Right. And it's
Speaker 1: it's funny, I think you stopped looking and almost when
Speaker 1: you're looking in the opposite direction is when something good. Yeah,
Speaker 1: when you look for answers within within right within yourself.
Speaker 1: You know, I don't look for it within like other people.
Speaker 1: It's always when we're at least expecting it. Yeah. Wait,
Speaker 1: did you ever answer the cup question? Are you just
Speaker 1: gonna get a bigger cup or bigger? Um? No, I
Speaker 1: think I think I'm I'm gonna kind of live my life.
Speaker 1: I'm not. I'm not thinking too much about that right
Speaker 1: now because I don't want to project any sort of
Speaker 1: like anxieties about the future. Um. I feel like he
Speaker 1: creates like a lot of unnecessary fear. Um. One of
Speaker 1: my favorite philosophers always says, if we knew everything about
Speaker 1: the future, if we knew everything that was going to unfold,
Speaker 1: we'd already be living in the past, and no one
Speaker 1: wants to live in the Past's absolutely smart, so smart. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you should just taking credit for that quote yourself. What sometimes?
Speaker 1: What's your what are your love languages? You know? How
Speaker 1: do you mean languages? Oh? Well, okay, off the topic,
Speaker 1: we'll rattlem off real quick. There's quality time, physical touch,
Speaker 1: words of affirmation, gifts, and why am I blanking on
Speaker 1: the fifth one? As service? So of those five, which
Speaker 1: of those would be the most important for you to
Speaker 1: receive from from a potential significant other. Um, I think
Speaker 1: acts of service and I'm a very physical person, so
Speaker 1: definitely the physical touch. Okay, we're not arguing. I was
Speaker 1: just curious, Like I said, I don't know, because I
Speaker 1: feel like for someone that's done the things that you've done,
Speaker 1: especially with Playboy specifically. Um, I think Playboy does a
Speaker 1: really good job of keeping everything I guess tasteful, but
Speaker 1: there's still like a certain level of objectification that comes
Speaker 1: along from the from like the less lesser informed audience member. Right. Um,
Speaker 1: and so I've always been curious how that affects people
Speaker 1: in those positions. Um, you know, I guess I can
Speaker 1: only speak for myself. Um. It's really like I said,
Speaker 1: you're as safe as you you choose to be, right. Um,
Speaker 1: so if you kind of like separate yourself from the masses,
Speaker 1: and you're always going to be the black sheep. But
Speaker 1: you know, I'd rather say my truth be different. It's
Speaker 1: fun you stand out. He wants to be a regular
Speaker 1: colored sheep sometimes blending. It's not so bad. Well, Sunshine,
Speaker 1: you are currently writing a book, I am. We're working
Speaker 1: on it. Yeah, yeah, so you know, playing with the
Speaker 1: ideas and everything. So, um, and we should be starting
Speaker 1: with a writing writing process in a few months. Can
Speaker 1: you teach us what the book is going to be about?
Speaker 1: It's basically UM self realization, UM, the journey to awakening
Speaker 1: if you think to the alchemist, UM. But it's more
Speaker 1: it's a story where it's relatable I think in a
Speaker 1: modern world. UM. Yeah, are you going to write about
Speaker 1: your former UM employer or anything like that? Stay tuned.
Speaker 1: We'll just give us a little teaser on that then
Speaker 1: real quick, how I'm just kidding. I think that was
Speaker 1: the teaser right there. I'm just kidding. What else and
Speaker 1: what else are you working on besides the books? And
Speaker 1: I know you probably have a couple of other things
Speaker 1: going on. Yeah, so I'm actually working on the maximum
Speaker 1: cover UM for this year. I hope to get published
Speaker 1: by Datum this year. Thanks well, good luck with that.
Speaker 1: Thank you, Thank you so much. Well, Sonini, thank you
Speaker 1: so much for joining us. We really appreciate it. For
Speaker 1: our listeners out there, where can they find you on
Speaker 1: social and all that kind of stuff. You can find
Speaker 1: me on Instagram. It's Captain as Sunny. So that's two
Speaker 1: s is okay, great, that's s U and yeah, as
Speaker 1: you so Captain s and then Sonny so as As.
Speaker 1: I don't know why I would have thought it would be.
Speaker 1: I have no idea why you would think about I
Speaker 1: just really embarrassed, Sunshine. Thank you so much. I embrassed
Speaker 1: myself earlier and thank you for coming. So do we
Speaker 1: have emails? Mark? Well? I got this from from Elena.
Speaker 1: Oh perfect, We love Alena. It's specifically addressed to Vanessa.
Speaker 1: But I think you could all weigh in on something
Speaker 1: like this this past week. The past few weeks, Vanessa
Speaker 1: has mentioned a few times that her boyfriend is Jewish
Speaker 1: and she's Christian, and how they would move forward with
Speaker 1: raising kids if it ever came to that. I come
Speaker 1: from a blended family where my mom was raised Jewish
Speaker 1: and my dad raised Christian. Growing up, my parents gave
Speaker 1: us the opportunity to celebrate both holidays from both religions.
Speaker 1: May even let us decide in our own what we
Speaker 1: believe in. I don't like seeing couples go through hard
Speaker 1: times because of religious differences when I know firsthand it
Speaker 1: can work if both people are open minded, especially if
Speaker 1: this person is your person. That's a landa and I
Speaker 1: really a question, Vanessa, Um, Yeah, no, I I I'm not.
Speaker 1: I think when it comes to my relationship with Josh,
Speaker 1: we're both not extremely religious people, so it doesn't really
Speaker 1: interfere with our beliefs, um. But we're very open minded.
Speaker 1: And that was my thing too. When I was moving
Speaker 1: back to Montreal, it was seven years that I hadn't
Speaker 1: dated anyone from the city because I've a lot of
Speaker 1: people were closes minded. If you're Greek, you stick with
Speaker 1: your Greek community. For your Italian you stick with your Italians.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, that was never me. I did one
Speaker 1: Italian and Nami nationalities. I've probably dated a lot of them, um.
Speaker 1: And so when it came to religion as well, I
Speaker 1: was always open to different types of religions because if
Speaker 1: you fall in love that person, you know you can
Speaker 1: try to you can definitely make it work. My only
Speaker 1: thing was if someone that I am dating has a
Speaker 1: different you know, from a different background, of different religion,
Speaker 1: and they asked me to convert in order to get
Speaker 1: married to them. No, Like, if you fell in love
Speaker 1: with me, that means you fell in love with me
Speaker 1: with the religion I was. I was practicing and with
Speaker 1: everything that I was before you got engaged to me.
Speaker 1: So I that's one thing I never really understood. Like
Speaker 1: if I don't know, chime in guys. If no, yeah, totally.
Speaker 1: If you start projecting your religion onto other people, then
Speaker 1: that causes issues, right. But if you if believing makes
Speaker 1: you a better person, and you want to believe and
Speaker 1: it doesn't infringe on anybody else, then I'm absolutely for it.
Speaker 1: I think obviously, like this email talks about, and we've
Speaker 1: talked about in the past, kids change that because you
Speaker 1: want your kids to be raised in a certain way.
Speaker 1: But that's where you have to have serious talks with
Speaker 1: your significant other and figure out what exactly you're going
Speaker 1: to do. And I love this email because, as Elena
Speaker 1: pointed out, both her parents were different religions and she
Speaker 1: grew up celebrating both holidays and really, uh it was
Speaker 1: up to her what she chose to believe as she
Speaker 1: grew up. So I love that. Um, why doesn't seem
Speaker 1: like a religion is such a taboo thing for us
Speaker 1: to talk about? You know? Taboo and politics are religion
Speaker 1: in politics? You mean? Is that what you meant? Yeahs
Speaker 1: taboo and politics? You don't talk about taboo? Wow? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I need to eat. It's almost dis money, Like we
Speaker 1: all have these we have these things that we just
Speaker 1: like go through life. I think religion and politics because
Speaker 1: there's going to be a section of your audience that
Speaker 1: you alienate with your beliefs, and you and you want
Speaker 1: to still be all things to all people. I guess
Speaker 1: I was thinking less for our audience and more just
Speaker 1: in regular conversation. Well, I think people. I mean, religion
Speaker 1: is one of the most important things in life to
Speaker 1: a you know a lot of people in this world, right,
Speaker 1: so it's so important to certain people. Why don't we
Speaker 1: all talk about it more openly? Well, because a lot
Speaker 1: of people don't believe what you believe. Like, for example,
Speaker 1: say hypothetically, I was an atheist and you were a
Speaker 1: devoted Christian and I was like, yeah, I think God
Speaker 1: doesn't exist in your entire life you've believed this way,
Speaker 1: and you're like, no, screw you, he does exist. But
Speaker 1: here's my I guess here's my stance with it is
Speaker 1: I'm agnostic. I border more atheist than I do anything
Speaker 1: other than agnostic religion. But I'm open to the idea
Speaker 1: of belief. But I'm I like having conversations with people
Speaker 1: about religion, especially people that are religious, because I like
Speaker 1: to hear why they're religious. I like to hear what
Speaker 1: they practice and how they believe it. And I just
Speaker 1: I think that people always think that there's always going
Speaker 1: to be an argument that stems from it. But if
Speaker 1: we're talking about things and it's just like an open
Speaker 1: minded conversation, it's not necessarily a bad thing. But not
Speaker 1: everybody's like you, which is that? Trust me? I'm like
Speaker 1: as well. But I've discovered while talking about religion and
Speaker 1: politics openly to people that so many of us get
Speaker 1: so many people just get uncomfortable and hate the topic
Speaker 1: that it's all it does sometimes is breed argument. It's
Speaker 1: an actual conversation, for sure, But at the Dean's point,
Speaker 1: you can learn a lot talking to people who have
Speaker 1: completely different beliefs than you. If it's a respectful conversation,
Speaker 1: it's not going to get angry or offended. It's you
Speaker 1: gotta be careful with it. But I do I find
Speaker 1: it fascinate because it's such a wide range of religious
Speaker 1: beliefs out there. It is kind of interesting to explore
Speaker 1: that totally. Yeah, yeah, there's a lot of I love
Speaker 1: talking about it too, but I think, like Mark said,
Speaker 1: you just kind of have to like gauge your audience.
Speaker 1: It's unfortunate everybody, I would hope would feel comfortable talking
Speaker 1: about it, but everybody just doesn't, right. I just don't
Speaker 1: like sometimes when people feel uncomfortable talking about it with me,
Speaker 1: because I'm like I've gone through the phases of where
Speaker 1: I would like argue to an extent about it, but
Speaker 1: now I'm just kind of curious, especially with the people
Speaker 1: that uh believe it like blindly, and just like it's
Speaker 1: just interesting to hear about why they do that, um
Speaker 1: and and kind of like the path that they've walked
Speaker 1: in life to lead them to where they are now.
Speaker 1: But still even those people sometimes they just don't like
Speaker 1: talking about it, and it's like it's just a conversation.
Speaker 1: It's at the end of it's all it is, is
Speaker 1: a conversation if it's about religion, if it's about politics
Speaker 1: or money. At the end of the day, it's like
Speaker 1: it's all things that we do in our private life.
Speaker 1: But for some reason, I guess for the reason you
Speaker 1: guys all just mentioned, it's a it's a decent enough
Speaker 1: reason to like validate the logic behind it. But it's
Speaker 1: just like we refused to talk about it. People just
Speaker 1: don't want to be challenged with what their belief is
Speaker 1: and not feel me. I think like my grandmother is
Speaker 1: really religious, you know, she's so devoted, But it makes
Speaker 1: sense to her lifestyle, and it makes sense to UM
Speaker 1: the beliefs that she has, and it instill this unity
Speaker 1: in our family. UM And yeah, I think at the
Speaker 1: end of the day, like she doesn't want to be
Speaker 1: challenged with it because that's the way that she was
Speaker 1: growing up and she tried to instill it in with us,
Speaker 1: but we were not very we're not. We don't practice
Speaker 1: it as much as she does. It's just, UM, I
Speaker 1: think it becomes a lifestyle and it becomes like a
Speaker 1: UM kind of like tradition, like why do you celebrate Christmas?
Speaker 1: You know, like why you celebrates there becomes a tradition
Speaker 1: and it becomes something that you do with your family.
Speaker 1: I guess as it pertains to relationships, I would always
Speaker 1: be I would always be remiss if the potential of
Speaker 1: a religion driving the wedge between a relationship, because it's like,
Speaker 1: we should never let something like that drive a wedge
Speaker 1: between two people that might end up liking each other
Speaker 1: when it's just a belief that we were probably taught
Speaker 1: to learn or to believe. Yeah, but it all depends
Speaker 1: again on the person because there are people who are
Speaker 1: born and raised with a certain type of religion and
Speaker 1: believe in it so much that their entire life surrounds it.
Speaker 1: You know, so if if, for example, like even something
Speaker 1: as dumb as you know, uh, they're not dumb, but
Speaker 1: you know, getting married in the church versus not getting
Speaker 1: married in church, or like getting a traditional ceremony, or
Speaker 1: how you're going to raise your kids, because some people
Speaker 1: are like my kids are getting raised Christian and you're
Speaker 1: not telling the other words. And I guess you can
Speaker 1: see on The Bachelor d even where Luke p is
Speaker 1: the guy that says he is not gonna have sex
Speaker 1: until marriage, even obviously he's already had sex. But I
Speaker 1: guess that would be like that. How do you know
Speaker 1: he's already had sex? He said that. Yeah, he said
Speaker 1: he was banging girls left and right in college. And
Speaker 1: then God talked to him in the show. That's right,
Speaker 1: that's right. God likes him in the shower. Have you
Speaker 1: been watching hand the season on and off? But God
Speaker 1: spoke to him in the shower, came down and grabbed
Speaker 1: his member while he was in the shower and said,
Speaker 1: stop using this young man anyways. Yeah, not good. That's
Speaker 1: something where it's like if I really liked a girl
Speaker 1: and she said she was saving herself for marriage, that
Speaker 1: would be something It's like, it's a challenging obstacle to overcome. Um.
Speaker 1: But if it's like a practice where it's like I'm
Speaker 1: going to go to church every Sunday and this is
Speaker 1: what I believe and this is how I pray, then
Speaker 1: that's always something that you're like, Okay, that's cool, that's
Speaker 1: part of you. I'm not gonna argue that. I'm just
Speaker 1: I want to get to know more of it. Um.
Speaker 1: And then I guess the tricky thing I can only
Speaker 1: imagine is once you have children, what do you guys?
Speaker 1: What do you do then do with the children? Whose
Speaker 1: ideas are they going to adopt? What? I guess obviously
Speaker 1: that's just such a hard fetched idea for me. So
Speaker 1: maybe that's why I haven't even go there we go
Speaker 1: that's fair. Well, that's a hell of a way to
Speaker 1: wrap up this podcast, if I don't say so myself. Um, Well,
Speaker 1: a big thank you to Sunshine. Shin H Dean is
Speaker 1: already on a nickname basis with her Sunny Sunday. Um.
Speaker 1: She has a new book having out which is very exciting,
Speaker 1: so we'll all be looking for that in the near future.
Speaker 1: Thank you to all of the Bachelor and Paradise cast
Speaker 1: members for providing us with the summer field of drama, romance, laughter.
Speaker 1: I can't wait to watch them. We can all watch
Speaker 1: from afar, eat some popcorn, and enjoy. Uh So yeah,
Speaker 1: big thank you to Vanessa for skyping in because you're
Speaker 1: the best and you dominate life. Dean, you're good to
Speaker 1: thank you for joining as always. Uh and I'm Jared
Speaker 1: Haven and join us next week for a no episode
Speaker 1: of Help by Second Dating, where hopefully we suck a
Speaker 1: little less nice. Follow Help by Suck at Dating with Dean,
Speaker 1: Vanessa and Jared on I Heart Radio or wherever you
Speaker 1: listen a podcast. Mmm.