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Speaker 1: Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya rap An iHeartRadio podcast.

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Speaker 2: Hello everybody, we are scrubbing in.

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Speaker 1: Scrub a dub dub in the tub tub time.

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Speaker 3: We have a Dear Bonia episode, Dear Bonya.

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Speaker 4: A dear Bonya filled with those seeking advice.

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Speaker 1: People without wait want do we have people with.

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Speaker 2: Kids that don't invite anonymous?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? We about the other law issues, weddings is a

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Speaker 1: rough age, preach a men's sister.

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Speaker 2: And there's more.

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Speaker 5: There's more.

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Speaker 2: Those are just some of the tops.

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Speaker 4: So I feel like, should we just jump right in

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Speaker 4: because we do have a lot of a lot of

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Speaker 4: Dear Bonia's or did you have something to start the

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Speaker 4: episode with?

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Speaker 1: No? My advice? I think I'm feeling particularly emotional today,

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Speaker 1: so my advice might be a little emotionally charged, which

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Speaker 1: might be good, might be bad. We'll see.

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Speaker 4: Is emotionally charged like like uh cry emotional or angry emotional?

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Speaker 1: It's a little bit of both.

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Speaker 2: Interesting.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, Like I tried to go to uh great yoga class,

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Speaker 1: great one. I was so excited about it, looking forward

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Speaker 1: to it since yesterday. Since I signed up, I'm two

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Speaker 1: minutes late to my class right now, yeah today, I'm

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Speaker 1: two minutes late. Oh oh okay, and all the doors

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Speaker 1: are locked. Doors are locked, can't get in. Call the

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Speaker 1: front desk, no one's there. Sends you to Denver their headquarters.

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Speaker 1: So I just missed my class because I was two

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Speaker 1: minutes late. I was so irritated too a place to open, Yes,

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Speaker 1: but they apparently locked the doors once the instructor goes

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Speaker 1: into the class as so that no strangers can just

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Speaker 1: be like roaming around in the studio. I'm like, well,

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Speaker 1: they got to have somebody at the front desk gives

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Speaker 1: you a five minute grace period. I'm sorry a few

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Speaker 1: minutes late. You could see me on the videos outside

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Speaker 1: of sor being like hello, like knocking.

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Speaker 2: Here's the thing.

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Speaker 1: Normally, if I was not emotional like I was Zack

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Speaker 1: i am today, I would be like whatever, I'll go

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Speaker 1: on a walk or something. But I was fired up.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, here's the thing.

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Speaker 4: I understand that when there's a specific time and people,

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Speaker 4: you know, people are going somewhere, But I do think

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Speaker 4: LA specifically, there's so much congestion and traffic here that's.

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Speaker 2: Arming Parting three.

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Speaker 4: I know, but I'm saying five minutes over, even if

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Speaker 4: they start with the stretch before you get there right,

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Speaker 4: which I know people are gonna be like, no, like

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Speaker 4: you should plan accordingly and get there early enough to

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Speaker 4: be on time.

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Speaker 2: But and I do, Yeah, but some things are not

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Speaker 2: your day.

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Speaker 1: And build my coffee all over the table, so sweaped

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Speaker 1: it and I was cleaning it and I knew I

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Speaker 1: was gonna be late. Oh yeah, I'm like wound up today.

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Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, a little nervous.

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Speaker 1: Red lightleyread lightly.

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Speaker 4: Fred Lightley Easton, do you want to be our dear

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Speaker 4: Bonia reader today?

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Speaker 6: It would be an honor to be the reader today.

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Speaker 6: I can read and I'm excited to show that off today.

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Speaker 6: This is from anonymous Hi, Mark Easton, Becca and Tanya.

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Speaker 6: I'm struggling. I have had a core group of three

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Speaker 6: friends since I was in fourth grade. I'm thirty four now.

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Speaker 6: We've all taken different paths in life, but we still

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Speaker 6: make time for each other once a week for bar trivia.

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Speaker 6: My struggle is that I feel jealous that my friends

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Speaker 6: with children hang out all the time and naturally include

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Speaker 6: each other in plans. I've gone to soccer games, birthday parties,

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Speaker 6: et cetera. But I still don't get the immediate invite.

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Speaker 6: I know that this is just a natural course of life,

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Speaker 6: and my partner and I are happily child free, but

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Speaker 6: it still doesn't take away the sting when I get

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Speaker 6: a pity invite because the event was talked about around me.

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Speaker 6: How do I let this go and not let it

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Speaker 6: affect me as much as it is. I love my

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Speaker 6: friends and I know they're not being malicious, but my

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Speaker 6: feelings are still always hurt.

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Speaker 7: Thanks everyone.

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Speaker 6: I'm currently catching up on old episodes and I just

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Speaker 6: listened to Goals about twenty twenty. The whole time I

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Speaker 6: was like, Oh, guys, you have no idea what's about

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Speaker 6: to come.

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Speaker 8: To that?

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Speaker 5: Yeah, this is so hard because I I kind of

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Speaker 5: feel like I'm about to enter into this base of life.

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Speaker 5: So I think Anonymous, give me about a year and

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Speaker 5: I will joining. Yeah, we're joining you on nearbar trivia nights,

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Speaker 5: let me go anywhere. I think that there is just

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Speaker 5: an ease of making plans when you're in the same

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Speaker 5: phase of life with people, like when you have kids.

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Speaker 5: I think it's just this natural thing to want to

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Speaker 5: have each other, for the kids to do their thing,

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Speaker 5: and for the moms to kind of have a break

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Speaker 5: from being alone.

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Speaker 2: With the kids.

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Speaker 4: And I think you're totally valid for it to hurt

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Speaker 4: your feelings because it's a it's a shift in your

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Speaker 4: dynamic when you all you all at one point were

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Speaker 4: single and doing whatever you wanted to do, and then

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Speaker 4: you probably moved to where you all had partners, but

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Speaker 4: you still had the freedom to like meet up and

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Speaker 4: do whatever you do. But when you have kids, there

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Speaker 4: is like this shift. I think that happens big time.

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Speaker 4: And I think that you show up for your friends.

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Speaker 4: I think you be the friend that you are to them.

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Speaker 4: And I also think that this is a time where

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Speaker 4: maybe you find people who are in the same same

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Speaker 4: season of life as you, so that you're creating friendships

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Speaker 4: where you're feeling seen and validated by people who are

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Speaker 4: aligned with where you're at as well.

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Speaker 2: And I think you.

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Speaker 9: Can do both of those because I because I don't

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Speaker 9: think when all of your friends are hanging out having

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Speaker 9: mom time that they're they're probably like, she doesn't want

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Speaker 9: to come hang out with the kids, the screaming babies

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Speaker 9: or whatnot.

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Speaker 2: You know, That's what I think.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, I mean, I'm kind of dealing with this, Like

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Speaker 6: we we had a group, big group of friends we'd

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Speaker 6: always go see the Marvel movies on Opening night. And

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Speaker 6: then they've all had kids, and you know, they can't

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Speaker 6: go see movies all the time anymore. But I still

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Speaker 6: invite them all every single time, and they always almost

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Speaker 6: always say no, but sometimes they don't. But I still

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Speaker 6: want to be like, hey, just because you you know,

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Speaker 6: just because like you your schedules and it is open,

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Speaker 6: that doesn't mean I still don't want to hang out

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Speaker 6: with you.

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Speaker 8: Yeah, Also they invite you to things, Yeah, they do,

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Speaker 8: but I don't I personally, I don't take it personally

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Speaker 8: when like I find out that there was like some

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Speaker 8: soccer game, I didn't get invited some kids soccer game, because.

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Speaker 1: Like, I don't really I feel like she should raise

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Speaker 1: the issue that like, because I think sometimes what people

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Speaker 1: do is they think you don't want to come or

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Speaker 1: be there because you have kids. Because I feel like

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Speaker 1: when my life went from super single to stepmama two kids,

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Speaker 1: it was pretty jarring because it was like I had

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Speaker 1: all the time in the world and then when now

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Speaker 1: I have two kids that I have fifty percent of

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Speaker 1: the time, and I feel like when we have the kids,

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Speaker 1: we do one sort of thing, and when we don't

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Speaker 1: have the kids, we do another sort of thing because

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Speaker 1: I never thought that, like my friends would want to

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Speaker 1: also hang out with the kids all, so you know

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Speaker 1: what I mean, Like your mind just goes there. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: so maybe your friends aren't including you because I think

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Speaker 1: that you wouldn't want to. So I think you should say, like, hey,

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Speaker 1: I still want to come, even though I don't have kids.

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Speaker 1: I'd love to, Like I want to come, and I

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Speaker 1: want to be invited, and I'm sure they'll invite you,

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Speaker 1: and then you just like take it from there, because

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Speaker 1: I think that's what happened, is like I think I've

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Speaker 1: really like segregated, like, oh, we have the kids this weekend,

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Speaker 1: we can't do this and we can't do that, Whereas

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Speaker 1: like now I'm like, no, okay, we can get a

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Speaker 1: sitter for them, Like it's okay. You know, it's also

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Speaker 1: okay if Robbie stays home and I go out that

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Speaker 1: type of stuff. So maybe they're just not inviting you

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Speaker 1: because I feel like you don't.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I think there's that, And I also just

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Speaker 4: think it's a different I mean, maybe they maybe there's

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Speaker 4: a feeling of you know, what do we talk like

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Speaker 4: I think when you have kids. Everything revolves around kids, yes,

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Speaker 4: So I think when you bring someone in who doesn't

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Speaker 4: have kids, it kind of probably feels awkward about like that.

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Speaker 1: All the time. But I'm with my friends that have

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Speaker 1: like little kids, it's always like do we keep progression?

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Speaker 1: And I'm like, I have no idea what any of

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Speaker 1: this stuff is.

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Speaker 2: And they're all going through that.

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Speaker 4: So they they like need each other and have each other,

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Speaker 4: and they're probably like probably what Tanya said, like they

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Speaker 4: don't want to burden you.

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Speaker 2: They want to feel like you have to show up

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Speaker 2: and be around the kids. If you're that's not what

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Speaker 2: you want.

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Speaker 4: And also they may just be like, what do we like,

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Speaker 4: We're all we think about and talk about are the kids,

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Speaker 4: and like, she's gonna be so bored.

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Speaker 1: It's funny that you say that, because I too, I

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Speaker 1: feel like that person. When I'm around people that have

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Speaker 1: small kids. It's like they're always talking about that and

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Speaker 1: I'm a part of the conversation. It's like, I don't

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Speaker 1: want to talk about sleep regression, do you know what

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Speaker 1: I mean? And I'm like, I want to be very

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Speaker 1: mindful when I have god willing a baby to not

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Speaker 1: be that person.

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Speaker 3: Do you know?

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Speaker 1: What I mean, like, I don't want to just come

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Speaker 1: to you and just be like, oh my gosh, my

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Speaker 1: baby's Like.

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Speaker 4: It's gonna happen though, which is so normal because it's

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Speaker 4: just like you're that's you're eating, sleeping, and breathing this

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Speaker 4: new child, you know, Like that's just I think where

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Speaker 4: you're at at that time in your life.

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Speaker 1: Am I going to be that person?

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Speaker 2: I think everything?

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Speaker 1: Am I going to be that person? Yeah?

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Speaker 4: And I think every single person who before they had

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Speaker 4: a baby, they're like, I don't want to be that

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Speaker 4: person that only time. I just think it's so natural

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Speaker 4: that that's what happens, not in a bad way. And

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Speaker 4: I'll be so happy to hear about the sleep progression

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Speaker 4: and what can I do to help? And then I also,

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Speaker 4: I do think it's gonna I'm really gonna lean on

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Speaker 4: other people during those times because I don't think y'all,

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Speaker 4: my friends who are having children are gonna have the

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Speaker 4: capacity that they once had for at least a certain

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Speaker 4: amount of time, you know, So Anonymous check back with

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Speaker 4: me here in about a year and.

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Speaker 2: Will shit chat.

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Speaker 4: But I also, like I said, I think if you

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Speaker 4: want to say something to them, like hey, I'd love

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Speaker 4: to be a part. I love hearing about your kids'

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Speaker 4: lives and what's going on. I just I love you guys,

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Speaker 4: and I want to hang out with you, whatever that

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Speaker 4: looks like.

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Speaker 2: But I also.

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Speaker 4: Think it's okay to find people who are in the

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Speaker 4: same season of life as you.

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Speaker 1: But don't like replace them with these new season friends.

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Speaker 1: Let's just make that very clear. I don't want to

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Speaker 1: replace no friends with these new on childless friends.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, no replacing, just supplementing. Yes, sure, I want to

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Speaker 3: make that clear.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, Yeah.

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Speaker 6: We have another anonymous email a different person. I assume Becka,

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Speaker 6: Tanya Mark and Easton. I have been a scribber since

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Speaker 6: day one and I love your podcast. My husband and

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Speaker 6: I have been married for ten years and together for

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Speaker 6: thirteen years. My husband is forty three and I'm forty one. Recently,

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Speaker 6: my husband has a stroke and was in the hospital

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Speaker 6: for fifteen days. I stayed every day and night with him.

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Speaker 6: He's doing much better now. He's an only child. His

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Speaker 6: parents were very helpful during this time. Our daughter stayed

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Speaker 6: with them and took care of our dogs because they

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Speaker 6: weren't able. He has now been home for three weeks.

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Speaker 6: His mother is inserting her opinions daily regarding his progress

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Speaker 6: and decisions that we've made regarding his care and recovery.

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Speaker 6: She doesn't agree with all our decisions. I recently had

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Speaker 6: my cup full of her and the opinions and confronted

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Speaker 6: her about it. I told her that we appreciate the help,

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Speaker 6: we couldn't have done.

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Speaker 7: It without them.

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Speaker 6: However, we no longer need any assistance and I have

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Speaker 6: his karen needs handled. I've been a nurse for over

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Speaker 6: twenty years and his mother's also a nurse. She proceeded

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Speaker 6: to tell me when I confronted her that she feels

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Speaker 6: like she has to interfere because she doesn't feel like

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Speaker 6: I'm doing enough and I don't act like I care

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Speaker 6: to keep the peace. I did not say anything further

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Speaker 6: to her and just ended our conversation. I'm livid and

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Speaker 6: very hurt, as is my husband, but I don't want

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Speaker 6: to push further because his parents are not in the

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Speaker 6: best health and my husband now has his medical issue

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Speaker 6: and does not need any added stress. Please help. I'm

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Speaker 6: not at all sure how to handle this. My mother

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Speaker 6: in law has always been difficult to get along with,

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Speaker 6: and I feel like she never liked me. H.

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Speaker 7: It's tough.

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Speaker 2: It's so hard.

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Speaker 4: I'm so happy that your husband is doing well. And

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Speaker 4: on the mend, I think that this is one of

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Speaker 4: those things where you show up for your husband. You

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Speaker 4: be the best wife, best nurse, best mom you can

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Speaker 4: be during this time, and don't I think this is

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Speaker 4: a very sensitive time because it's your husband, it's the

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Speaker 4: person that you love, the father of your child. But

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Speaker 4: it's also her son, her only son, so she's probably

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Speaker 4: had a lot of high stress and like worry about

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Speaker 4: his health and having to making sure that he's cared

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Speaker 4: for as that's her only child, probably been her focus

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Speaker 4: her whole life. It's probably very hard for her like

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Speaker 4: let go of that control to someone else when he's

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Speaker 4: going through something like this medically. I also think that

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Speaker 4: you can't control how she acts, what she says, what

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Speaker 4: she does. And I think you you've said what you

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Speaker 4: needed to say, You've said what you need to say.

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Speaker 4: You keep showing up for your husband, be the be

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Speaker 4: the wife that you are, and let her be and

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Speaker 4: do what she's going to do.

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Speaker 1: I was just listening my algorithm. My algorithm on reals

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Speaker 1: is like giving me these like marriage videos one on

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Speaker 1: one or whatever, and I found this to be very

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Speaker 1: interesting because I never thought of it this way. But

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Speaker 1: they say, when you get married, that becomes your family,

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Speaker 1: and you're I don't want to say your old family,

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Speaker 1: but the family that you came from, that becomes your

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Speaker 1: extended family. And I never looked at it that way,

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Speaker 1: like I've never thought of it like that is you,

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Speaker 1: that's now, that's your family, that's your first family, and

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Speaker 1: then everybody else is your extended family, right, And it

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Speaker 1: really hit me because I feel like I have never

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Speaker 1: birthed a child, so I don't know what that love

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Speaker 1: is like for your child. I have a dog that

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Speaker 1: I love and say a lot, so I imagine it's a

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Speaker 1: hundred times at which I feel like is an insane amount. Yeah. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: So I imagine that your mother in law is just

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Speaker 1: feeling that way because she's seeing, you know, a stroke

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Speaker 1: is very scary, seeing her son in a very scary,

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Speaker 1: vulnerable situation. So she might be like talking out of

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Speaker 1: emotion and having these emotions. It's not right that she's

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Speaker 1: letting the bat on you, but she also needs to

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Speaker 1: take a step back and know that like you are

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Speaker 1: his family, you are his caretaker now, not as a caretaker,

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Speaker 1: but like you and him make the decisions, not her,

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Speaker 1: And I think that you need to have that conversation

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Speaker 1: in a very loving way, not in like a bitchy way,

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Speaker 1: not in like a get out the way, but in

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Speaker 1: a you know, this is my this is my husband,

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Speaker 1: this is my family. If I want to do and

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Speaker 1: I will do everything to take the best care of him,

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Speaker 1: I need you to like let us lead this and

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Speaker 1: if you want to help and you want to support,

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Speaker 1: you can, but please ask us what we need and

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Speaker 1: not just interject and like give your opinion, because this

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Speaker 1: is hard enough. We don't want to add stress onto

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Speaker 1: his plate.

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Speaker 2: Mm hmmm.

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Speaker 1: I think you just have to have that conversation.

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Speaker 4: I agree, And I think there's a way of being

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Speaker 4: like we're so which it sounds like it sounds like

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Speaker 4: she did say like we couldn't have done it without you,

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Speaker 4: were so grateful, But I think it's really I think

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Speaker 4: she wants to feel needed as especially as a nurse

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Speaker 4: and being like a.

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Speaker 1: Part of the tasks. He loves masaball soup. Can you

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Speaker 1: make he loves?

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Speaker 4: I'm saying like, yeah, do it in a way where

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Speaker 4: you can still make her feel like she can contribute

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Speaker 4: and help but also just be like, you know, we're

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Speaker 4: making the decisions together, he and I and we love

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Speaker 4: you and we're so grateful for you. But you know

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Speaker 4: we're we're doing this the way that's best for us.

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Speaker 1: But you know what's interesting the very last sentence, she said,

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Speaker 1: I feel like she has never liked me. That says

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Speaker 1: a lot.

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Speaker 4: That's total, I mean totally. They've been together, I think

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Speaker 4: married for thirteen years or together a lot. But I

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Speaker 4: think that that's why you you don't have to like

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Speaker 4: overdo it. But I think we're the things that you

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Speaker 4: know that she can contribute that's not going to like

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Speaker 4: over step her boundary for you. I love he loves

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Speaker 4: your famous soup, he loves this meal, Like would you

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Speaker 4: mind or like could you take our daughter for a

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Speaker 4: few days, like over the weekend. Just things that she

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Speaker 4: can contribute where you don't feel like she's overstepping.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but she can still feel a part.

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Speaker 7: That's I mean, you guys said, I think that's great advice.

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Speaker 1: It's like my mother in law, my future mother in law,

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Speaker 1: she's like, loves rob obviously, she loves she has two sons.

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Speaker 1: She like is obsessed with them, and she would want

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Speaker 1: to do anything for them. So like I could see this,

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean, I could see her just

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Speaker 1: like wanting to help, and I could actually see myself

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Speaker 1: having that conversation with her and asking, you know, like

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Speaker 1: she she's very good about like she she I think

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Speaker 1: her love language is like food. So I think if

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Speaker 1: I gave her a task, like it'd be really helpful

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Speaker 1: if you could like make us dinner tonight tomorrow or

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Speaker 1: you know whatever. Like I think she would really like

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Speaker 1: thrive on that.

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Speaker 2: I think that's good.

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Speaker 7: Yeah.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, Whenever people are like what can I do to help?

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Speaker 7: What can't do?

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Speaker 3: It?

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Speaker 6: Like, it is helpful if it's like a specific thing,

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Speaker 6: especially with someone like that, just tell them what you need.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, all right.

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Speaker 6: This one's from Melissa Wedding X. We're gotting in too

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Speaker 6: the World of wedding X. This is a question for Tanya,

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Speaker 6: now that the wedding is getting close. What are some

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Speaker 6: of your wedding X or things you absolutely wouldn't do

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Speaker 6: at your wedding. I'm also planning a twenty twenty five wedding.

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Speaker 6: Congratulations and a few of mine are vendors not posting

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Speaker 6: a price range for their services on their website. I

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Speaker 6: don't want to waste your time, and I want you

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Speaker 6: to waste mine giving your friends and family a bunch

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Speaker 6: of junks. This is Bridesmaids Sister mob. Oh controversial opinion.

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Speaker 6: I get the ick with grooms wearing a boot and

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Speaker 6: ear that's hanging flopping around on their jacket, So my

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Speaker 6: groom will not be wearing one.

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Speaker 7: Becky and East I thought we were X.

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Speaker 6: I was like, oh no, what did I do to Melissa,

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Speaker 6: Becky and easton any thoughts on these things? Can't wait

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Speaker 6: to see a the pictures and hear about your big day,

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Speaker 6: Love you all.

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Speaker 1: You know what's so funny is like, I guess I

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Speaker 1: wouldn't consider them as X. I'm just like doing what

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Speaker 1: I want, do you know what I mean? The Floris

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Speaker 1: asked us about bootoneers and I was like, no, I

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Speaker 1: don't want that, Yeah, but I didn't. I never thought

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Speaker 1: it was like an ick.

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Speaker 2: You know why didn't you want it?

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Speaker 1: I don't want anything living on him.

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Speaker 7: I don't want It's an interesting way to put it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I don't need like a living thing like

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Speaker 1: on his Less is more.

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Speaker 2: Okay, you know, okay? Anything else are you doing? Like

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Speaker 2: the garter toss and stuff.

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Speaker 1: We're not going to do the garter toss. We are

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Speaker 1: gonna do the okay toss maybe Yeah, I don't know.

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Speaker 4: I don't know what about are y'all doing uh like

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Speaker 4: daughter father dance all that stuff?

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Speaker 2: Okay? Yeah, are you like doing something blue?

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Speaker 7: Oh?

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Speaker 2: Yes, I told you that I'm setting you up to.

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Speaker 1: Something blue. Was actually really sweet. Probably made it for

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Speaker 1: me and it's.

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Speaker 3: Just like it's really really sweet. It's very very creative. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: you'll share that later, I guess.

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Speaker 1: But I don't have something borrowed or something old.

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Speaker 2: Maybe does your mom have any jewelry something you could wear?

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Speaker 2: My jewelry is spoken for an anklet in the Engli.

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Speaker 1: She says, yeah, I don't know. I feel and then

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Speaker 1: like also with the vendors we got, you know, because

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Speaker 1: we're doing a destination wedding, we just reach out to

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Speaker 1: our hotel and are using all the people that they

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Speaker 1: use for their events, Like we literally didn't like, I

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Speaker 1: didn't look at any other rental company. I'm using the

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Speaker 1: one they recommended. I didn't look at any other music company.

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Speaker 1: I'm using the ones they recommended. Uh, I'm like bride Chilla.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, you're more chill than anticipated really.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I mean I'm like I am and then I'm not

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Speaker 1: because I'm like constantly stressed.

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Speaker 9: M m.

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Speaker 1: But I feel like I've been pretty chill, yeah considering.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, you know.

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Speaker 6: It's crazy about the vendor thing. And I think we've

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Speaker 6: talked about this, but like I was looking at venues

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Speaker 6: to do the East Awards live and more about that later,

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Speaker 6: but I would I was getting quotes for like event

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Speaker 6: spaces in Los Angeles and astronomical, but I noticed that,

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Speaker 6: like I called a place where a friend of ours

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Speaker 6: got married, and I was like, oh, that that'd be

442
00:20:30,200 --> 00:20:32,879
Speaker 6: cool to do the show there. And it was the

443
00:20:32,960 --> 00:20:36,240
Speaker 6: same amount of time, the same like like a Saturday night,

444
00:20:36,680 --> 00:20:38,880
Speaker 6: and for me to do my stupid award show would

445
00:20:38,880 --> 00:20:41,359
Speaker 6: be it was half the cost that they paid for

446
00:20:41,440 --> 00:20:44,320
Speaker 6: if you say wedding, that they just jacked the price

447
00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:47,520
Speaker 6: up like crazy. So my hacker went out there getting married.

448
00:20:47,840 --> 00:20:50,240
Speaker 6: Anytime your booking these things to say we're throwing an event,

449
00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:53,560
Speaker 6: don't say wedding. I feel like that just inflates the

450
00:20:53,560 --> 00:20:55,680
Speaker 6: price by such a significant margin.

451
00:20:55,680 --> 00:20:56,440
Speaker 7: It's so crazy.

452
00:20:58,240 --> 00:21:01,800
Speaker 1: That is good to know. The two things that that

453
00:21:01,840 --> 00:21:04,480
Speaker 1: I'm still very stressed about it. We don't have a videographer.

454
00:21:05,600 --> 00:21:09,240
Speaker 1: Oh my god, yeah, I know. Should we Yes, I'm.

455
00:21:09,200 --> 00:21:10,679
Speaker 2: Very stressed about that one. Okay.

456
00:21:11,040 --> 00:21:13,840
Speaker 1: And we don't have a photo booth. I like totally

457
00:21:13,840 --> 00:21:16,040
Speaker 1: forgot about that because I feel like I've been seeing

458
00:21:16,040 --> 00:21:19,679
Speaker 1: them very much lately as of late. Photo booths. Do

459
00:21:19,720 --> 00:21:21,400
Speaker 1: we like them? Do I need one?

460
00:21:22,119 --> 00:21:24,000
Speaker 2: I mean people love a photo booth?

461
00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:26,920
Speaker 4: Do? I feel like people love going and taking photos?

462
00:21:26,960 --> 00:21:29,360
Speaker 4: But I don't think it's like something to stress over.

463
00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:31,399
Speaker 4: Like I think if you're able to find one, or

464
00:21:31,400 --> 00:21:34,520
Speaker 4: your or your wedding planner can find one fun and

465
00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:37,320
Speaker 4: it's like a reasonable price. If it's crazy and astronomical

466
00:21:37,359 --> 00:21:39,600
Speaker 4: and like difficult, I want it stress over.

467
00:21:39,600 --> 00:21:42,040
Speaker 1: Like wouldn't you rather like my professional photographer take like

468
00:21:42,080 --> 00:21:43,160
Speaker 1: bomb photos.

469
00:21:43,560 --> 00:21:45,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, but you don't get this for a while, so

470
00:21:45,119 --> 00:21:45,720
Speaker 2: it's fun.

471
00:21:45,560 --> 00:21:49,199
Speaker 4: To like, you know right away. Yeah, but again I

472
00:21:49,200 --> 00:21:51,200
Speaker 4: don't unless you find something that you love.

473
00:21:51,400 --> 00:21:52,439
Speaker 2: I want to stressed about that.

474
00:21:52,520 --> 00:21:55,000
Speaker 1: And then we like decided against a cake, like a

475
00:21:55,040 --> 00:21:57,600
Speaker 1: wedding cake, because again cakes like six thousand dollars and

476
00:21:57,640 --> 00:22:00,119
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh wow, for what I could make this

477
00:22:00,160 --> 00:22:03,000
Speaker 1: in my backyard, please do that?

478
00:22:04,680 --> 00:22:05,040
Speaker 3: Do it?

479
00:22:06,560 --> 00:22:09,600
Speaker 1: So then because the desserts that we are serving are

480
00:22:09,640 --> 00:22:13,960
Speaker 1: like when I tell you this chocolate, uh, I don't

481
00:22:13,960 --> 00:22:16,080
Speaker 1: even know what it is. It's like basically chocolate ganache,

482
00:22:16,119 --> 00:22:19,920
Speaker 1: like hazelnut dessert. It's the most incredible thing that I've

483
00:22:19,960 --> 00:22:22,240
Speaker 1: put in my mouth in my life. Is it's better

484
00:22:22,280 --> 00:22:24,320
Speaker 1: than that gluten free pizza and the gluten free bonza

485
00:22:24,359 --> 00:22:26,680
Speaker 1: that I was telling you about is so good. Anyways,

486
00:22:26,760 --> 00:22:28,679
Speaker 1: we decided on these like two desserts, so we're like, well,

487
00:22:28,760 --> 00:22:31,640
Speaker 1: deserve these diserts because they're actually delicious. But now I'm

488
00:22:31,640 --> 00:22:33,520
Speaker 1: regretting it that, like we're not gonna have a photo

489
00:22:33,560 --> 00:22:37,439
Speaker 1: to like cut our cake? Do I need that? I

490
00:22:37,440 --> 00:22:38,120
Speaker 1: think I need that.

491
00:22:38,119 --> 00:22:40,520
Speaker 2: You get a small one at least to cut it. Yeah,

492
00:22:40,560 --> 00:22:43,720
Speaker 2: I know, I like, you don't need like a four

493
00:22:43,800 --> 00:22:44,600
Speaker 2: tier cake.

494
00:22:44,640 --> 00:22:45,760
Speaker 1: It wasn't even a four I think it was like

495
00:22:45,760 --> 00:22:49,600
Speaker 1: a two tier six thousand dollars maybe three something like

496
00:22:49,640 --> 00:22:50,320
Speaker 1: those up there.

497
00:22:51,720 --> 00:22:52,400
Speaker 2: That's crazy.

498
00:22:52,480 --> 00:22:54,960
Speaker 1: Maybe maybe they can bring one from the States.

499
00:22:55,119 --> 00:22:58,040
Speaker 4: No, maybe they can't say it's not Maybe they can

500
00:22:58,040 --> 00:22:59,199
Speaker 4: say it's not for a wedding.

501
00:23:00,119 --> 00:23:01,760
Speaker 1: Are you flying out with us?

502
00:23:01,800 --> 00:23:01,879
Speaker 4: Me?

503
00:23:02,040 --> 00:23:04,520
Speaker 1: Robbie, Oh wow, it's gonna be not gonna need to

504
00:23:04,520 --> 00:23:08,320
Speaker 1: wear a GoPro for that, because between my wedding dress,

505
00:23:08,359 --> 00:23:09,240
Speaker 1: my dog.

506
00:23:10,080 --> 00:23:12,720
Speaker 4: Yeah, and Becca and Robbie, I think I'm gonna be

507
00:23:12,800 --> 00:23:14,000
Speaker 4: in charge of one or the other.

508
00:23:14,640 --> 00:23:17,919
Speaker 1: Probably the dress, Yeah, definitely the dress.

509
00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:20,119
Speaker 6: We have to go to a break. But I just

510
00:23:20,160 --> 00:23:21,919
Speaker 6: want to stand up for botaneers really quick. I had

511
00:23:21,960 --> 00:23:24,320
Speaker 6: a boot near at my wedding and I demanded the

512
00:23:24,359 --> 00:23:27,280
Speaker 6: biggest and more stornate boutaneer the florist has ever done.

513
00:23:27,560 --> 00:23:30,719
Speaker 7: Wow, And that thing was a monster, and I loved it.

514
00:23:30,800 --> 00:23:32,159
Speaker 1: You had a living thing on you.

515
00:23:32,960 --> 00:23:33,920
Speaker 7: A large living thing.

516
00:23:33,920 --> 00:23:37,000
Speaker 6: It was basically another bouquet just on my jacket, and

517
00:23:37,040 --> 00:23:38,080
Speaker 6: I thought it was so cool.

518
00:23:38,480 --> 00:23:41,080
Speaker 7: I loved it. But that was twenty seventeen. It was

519
00:23:41,119 --> 00:23:43,160
Speaker 7: a different time, different times, different world out there.

520
00:23:43,200 --> 00:23:47,600
Speaker 1: Twenty twenty five is minimalist? Minimal Is that.

521
00:23:47,640 --> 00:23:50,880
Speaker 2: It you're leaving? We're going on break with that.

522
00:23:50,880 --> 00:23:55,000
Speaker 3: That quote minimal twenty five is they're the minimalist bride,

523
00:23:55,080 --> 00:23:56,080
Speaker 3: the minimalist bride.

524
00:23:56,119 --> 00:23:56,280
Speaker 9: Bro.

525
00:23:56,440 --> 00:23:57,520
Speaker 2: All right, we'll be right back.

526
00:23:57,640 --> 00:23:58,800
Speaker 1: Nothing minimalist about the.

527
00:24:16,200 --> 00:24:18,160
Speaker 2: All right, we are back.

528
00:24:20,280 --> 00:24:23,160
Speaker 7: Well, here's another one from Haley. Thank you.

529
00:24:23,200 --> 00:24:25,880
Speaker 6: Slash twenty five is a rough age. That's what uh,

530
00:24:25,960 --> 00:24:29,200
Speaker 6: that's why we've summarized this. Hi, Beckatania Markinisten, your recent

531
00:24:29,240 --> 00:24:32,080
Speaker 6: episode No Lufa, No Sponge made me feel so seen.

532
00:24:32,560 --> 00:24:34,840
Speaker 6: While I am most definitely a Tanya, I started following

533
00:24:34,920 --> 00:24:37,520
Speaker 6: beck after watching her journey on Ben's season, and I've

534
00:24:37,520 --> 00:24:40,359
Speaker 6: been faithfully listening to scrubbing in since day one.

535
00:24:40,640 --> 00:24:41,879
Speaker 7: Wow, Wow, thank you.

536
00:24:42,240 --> 00:24:44,200
Speaker 6: I'm a twenty five year old teacher who's three years

537
00:24:44,200 --> 00:24:46,720
Speaker 6: into her career, living on her own, has many friends,

538
00:24:46,720 --> 00:24:50,000
Speaker 6: and just finished her master's degree. I'm successful in so

539
00:24:50,119 --> 00:24:52,879
Speaker 6: many ways, but I struggle with not feeling established and

540
00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:54,520
Speaker 6: being as far along in life as I thought I

541
00:24:54,520 --> 00:24:57,080
Speaker 6: would be at this point. I like Beckan Tanya. I'm

542
00:24:57,080 --> 00:24:59,240
Speaker 6: a Christian, and I thought I would be for sure

543
00:24:59,320 --> 00:25:00,919
Speaker 6: married with a kid or two at this point.

544
00:25:01,119 --> 00:25:03,359
Speaker 7: I have been in seven weddings.

545
00:25:02,840 --> 00:25:04,320
Speaker 6: Over the last two and a half years, and I

546
00:25:04,320 --> 00:25:07,040
Speaker 6: feel like everyone's life is moving forward, but mine, like

547
00:25:07,119 --> 00:25:10,480
Speaker 6: you'll express, twenty five, is tough. Nearly all my friends

548
00:25:10,520 --> 00:25:12,960
Speaker 6: have husbands or kids, and sometimes I feel like there's

549
00:25:12,960 --> 00:25:15,320
Speaker 6: something wrong with me. When Tony broke down the podcast

550
00:25:15,400 --> 00:25:17,359
Speaker 6: and started crying about how she would go to bridal

551
00:25:17,400 --> 00:25:19,960
Speaker 6: events and baby showers and feel sad after, I felt

552
00:25:20,040 --> 00:25:23,040
Speaker 6: less alone in my thinking. It's also been beyond encouraging

553
00:25:23,040 --> 00:25:25,960
Speaker 6: to watch Tanya and Becka's journeys in their relationships. I

554
00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:27,840
Speaker 6: know that when I find my red Star, he'll be

555
00:25:27,880 --> 00:25:30,080
Speaker 6: worth the wait. The four of you have made me

556
00:25:30,160 --> 00:25:31,720
Speaker 6: laugh and cry more times than I can count, and

557
00:25:31,720 --> 00:25:34,520
Speaker 6: I appreciate you putting out fantastic episodes one to two

558
00:25:34,520 --> 00:25:34,960
Speaker 6: a week.

559
00:25:35,200 --> 00:25:36,320
Speaker 7: Thank you for all that you do.

560
00:25:38,320 --> 00:25:41,920
Speaker 4: Okay, Haley, First, I just have to say three. You're

561
00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:44,800
Speaker 4: twenty five years old and you're already three years into

562
00:25:44,840 --> 00:25:47,879
Speaker 4: a career. That is yeah, great, like so impressive to me.

563
00:25:48,240 --> 00:25:50,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, like, you have established.

564
00:25:50,040 --> 00:25:52,960
Speaker 4: Something that you want to do and love doing, and

565
00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:55,600
Speaker 4: you have been doing it for three years literally since

566
00:25:55,600 --> 00:25:56,479
Speaker 4: you got out of college.

567
00:25:57,320 --> 00:25:59,320
Speaker 2: That's impressive. So give yourself some credit.

568
00:26:00,320 --> 00:26:05,680
Speaker 4: Second of all, I am so happy that my whole life,

569
00:26:05,720 --> 00:26:07,959
Speaker 4: I thought I would be married by twenty five. I

570
00:26:08,080 --> 00:26:10,199
Speaker 4: just knew like I would have. I thought i'd have

571
00:26:10,240 --> 00:26:13,040
Speaker 4: two kids a married by twenty five. I am so

572
00:26:13,600 --> 00:26:16,320
Speaker 4: happy that I did not get married at twenty five

573
00:26:16,359 --> 00:26:20,960
Speaker 4: and have two kids because I'm so happy that my

574
00:26:21,040 --> 00:26:22,720
Speaker 4: life went in the direction that it did, and I

575
00:26:22,720 --> 00:26:25,160
Speaker 4: could have never thought that it would go in that direction.

576
00:26:25,720 --> 00:26:28,600
Speaker 4: And I remember thinking like watching people, especially from my

577
00:26:28,680 --> 00:26:32,040
Speaker 4: hometown and like high school, getting married and having kids,

578
00:26:32,040 --> 00:26:33,800
Speaker 4: and I was like, oh, no, like I'm out here

579
00:26:33,800 --> 00:26:37,760
Speaker 4: in California, am I doing something wrong. Christian culture specifically

580
00:26:37,840 --> 00:26:41,680
Speaker 4: is very much like get married, have kids young, and

581
00:26:42,119 --> 00:26:45,400
Speaker 4: I am so happy that that wasn't my path. So

582
00:26:45,480 --> 00:26:48,520
Speaker 4: I just want to say, You're not behind in anything

583
00:26:48,560 --> 00:26:51,199
Speaker 4: you're doing. It's so fun to get to celebrate people

584
00:26:51,280 --> 00:26:54,320
Speaker 4: and like go to these weddings and be there for

585
00:26:54,359 --> 00:26:56,600
Speaker 4: your friends and get to see like, oh, I'm I

586
00:26:56,640 --> 00:26:59,000
Speaker 4: can't wait for my turn. But I also don't want

587
00:26:59,000 --> 00:27:00,840
Speaker 4: you to feel like you have to rush it because

588
00:27:01,880 --> 00:27:03,200
Speaker 4: you're not behind at all in this.

589
00:27:04,320 --> 00:27:08,280
Speaker 1: So I'm with you. I'm with you on this, But

590
00:27:08,440 --> 00:27:11,399
Speaker 1: I also I feel for you, Hailey, because I feel

591
00:27:11,440 --> 00:27:15,119
Speaker 1: like I remember going to all these weddings that I

592
00:27:15,160 --> 00:27:17,199
Speaker 1: went to when I was single, and I was just like,

593
00:27:18,240 --> 00:27:20,239
Speaker 1: when is it going to be my turn? You know,

594
00:27:20,440 --> 00:27:23,119
Speaker 1: Like again, I didn't take away from the weddings like

595
00:27:23,119 --> 00:27:24,240
Speaker 1: I loved it and I had so much fun. I

596
00:27:24,280 --> 00:27:27,120
Speaker 1: was like I wasn't down or like crying at the weddings,

597
00:27:27,119 --> 00:27:28,679
Speaker 1: Like I had a good time and I would rage,

598
00:27:29,080 --> 00:27:31,840
Speaker 1: but like every single. One was just like another reminder,

599
00:27:31,920 --> 00:27:35,520
Speaker 1: another reminder, another, And like I was single from twenty

600
00:27:35,560 --> 00:27:38,520
Speaker 1: five to thirty two. It's a whole seven years of

601
00:27:38,560 --> 00:27:44,160
Speaker 1: doing that, so times whatever, double Hailey, it's a long time.

602
00:27:44,440 --> 00:27:47,240
Speaker 1: What because she's saying three years. For the last like

603
00:27:47,240 --> 00:27:49,000
Speaker 1: three years she's been going all these weddings and I've

604
00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:51,919
Speaker 1: been single in my car and like it does. I

605
00:27:51,920 --> 00:27:56,880
Speaker 1: feel like every single time I would watch people hit

606
00:27:56,960 --> 00:27:58,760
Speaker 1: that milestone, I was just like, one's it going to

607
00:27:58,800 --> 00:28:02,280
Speaker 1: be my turn? And I feel like you can't see

608
00:28:02,280 --> 00:28:05,840
Speaker 1: it now, Haley, But for my situation, I feel like

609
00:28:06,040 --> 00:28:08,280
Speaker 1: everything happened for me when it was supposed to. Because

610
00:28:08,800 --> 00:28:10,720
Speaker 1: now that I'm like planning a wedding and I'm like

611
00:28:10,800 --> 00:28:14,600
Speaker 1: talking about babies and stuff, I could not imagine doing

612
00:28:14,640 --> 00:28:19,320
Speaker 1: this in my career at twenty five twenty six. My

613
00:28:19,480 --> 00:28:22,280
Speaker 1: career was my life at twenty five twenty six, Like

614
00:28:22,359 --> 00:28:25,000
Speaker 1: I would spend twelve thirteen hours at work, like I

615
00:28:25,160 --> 00:28:29,399
Speaker 1: was just work, work, work, and I think I was.

616
00:28:29,680 --> 00:28:32,800
Speaker 1: I think I was that for a reason, you know,

617
00:28:32,960 --> 00:28:35,920
Speaker 1: Like I that was my time to focus on work.

618
00:28:35,960 --> 00:28:40,360
Speaker 1: And when I found Robbie, it was at the perfect

619
00:28:40,360 --> 00:28:42,240
Speaker 1: time for me. So I don't know what this is

620
00:28:42,320 --> 00:28:44,520
Speaker 1: for you, Hailey, but I do believe that, like you

621
00:28:44,560 --> 00:28:47,960
Speaker 1: will find your partner when you're supposed to. It's not

622
00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:50,840
Speaker 1: going to make the journey any less heartbreaking at times,

623
00:28:50,920 --> 00:28:53,600
Speaker 1: because I know that I would feel that a lot.

624
00:28:54,640 --> 00:28:56,200
Speaker 1: But it is going to come at the right time

625
00:28:56,240 --> 00:28:58,840
Speaker 1: for you for whatever reason that is. Maybe it's not

626
00:28:58,880 --> 00:29:01,800
Speaker 1: career focused, maybe it's something else, but like you'll see

627
00:29:01,840 --> 00:29:05,040
Speaker 1: it in hindsight, So just know that because it is

628
00:29:05,040 --> 00:29:07,240
Speaker 1: such a desire of your heart, I do feel like,

629
00:29:07,720 --> 00:29:11,720
Speaker 1: you know, he will fulfill that for you, but not

630
00:29:11,760 --> 00:29:12,640
Speaker 1: on your timeline.

631
00:29:13,120 --> 00:29:16,000
Speaker 4: I also, this is so interesting because I do think

632
00:29:16,080 --> 00:29:19,719
Speaker 4: hindsight is so it's such an interesting thing that we

633
00:29:19,760 --> 00:29:20,360
Speaker 4: get in life.

634
00:29:20,400 --> 00:29:21,920
Speaker 2: Because Haley and I were talking about the.

635
00:29:21,960 --> 00:29:24,320
Speaker 4: Other day, how you know when you were young and

636
00:29:24,360 --> 00:29:26,880
Speaker 4: you would have dinner and it was so simple. You

637
00:29:26,880 --> 00:29:28,760
Speaker 4: were outside riding your bike and your mom would call

638
00:29:28,800 --> 00:29:30,680
Speaker 4: you in like yeah, it was these moments of like

639
00:29:31,240 --> 00:29:34,680
Speaker 4: childhood and innocence, and everyone would be like, don't waste

640
00:29:34,720 --> 00:29:36,560
Speaker 4: it because like you're gonna be older one day and

641
00:29:36,600 --> 00:29:39,120
Speaker 4: you'll and and you'll miss these days.

642
00:29:39,120 --> 00:29:40,640
Speaker 2: And you're like, I just want to be a grown up.

643
00:29:40,680 --> 00:29:41,360
Speaker 2: I just want to do.

644
00:29:41,320 --> 00:29:44,640
Speaker 4: This, like you're we're always ready to get to the

645
00:29:44,680 --> 00:29:48,920
Speaker 4: next step, but hindsight, looking back, you always have a

646
00:29:48,920 --> 00:29:51,760
Speaker 4: different perspective on it. So you're gonna get to a

647
00:29:51,800 --> 00:29:54,920
Speaker 4: point when you have this that the desire of your

648
00:29:54,920 --> 00:29:57,800
Speaker 4: heart of finding your person is gonna be amazing. And

649
00:29:57,840 --> 00:30:00,000
Speaker 4: then you'll look back on your time being twenty five

650
00:30:00,440 --> 00:30:03,360
Speaker 4: and being a teacher and being at these weddings and

651
00:30:03,400 --> 00:30:03,880
Speaker 4: being like.

652
00:30:03,760 --> 00:30:04,920
Speaker 2: Oh, that was fun too.

653
00:30:05,440 --> 00:30:07,280
Speaker 4: You know, I had this and I had that, and

654
00:30:07,320 --> 00:30:10,280
Speaker 4: it's I think that's just life. Like you can look

655
00:30:10,320 --> 00:30:12,760
Speaker 4: back and see that you were focused on your career

656
00:30:12,760 --> 00:30:15,200
Speaker 4: and you wouldn't have been able to be the partner

657
00:30:15,240 --> 00:30:16,040
Speaker 4: that you are today.

658
00:30:16,320 --> 00:30:20,760
Speaker 1: I was talking to this friend of mine who was

659
00:30:21,840 --> 00:30:24,560
Speaker 1: at thirty eight went to go get her eggs frozen

660
00:30:24,560 --> 00:30:27,040
Speaker 1: because she wanted to be a mom. They told her

661
00:30:27,080 --> 00:30:29,440
Speaker 1: that she did not have any eggs to freeze, so

662
00:30:29,480 --> 00:30:31,200
Speaker 1: at that moment she was like had to kind of

663
00:30:31,200 --> 00:30:33,600
Speaker 1: come to terms with the fact that she was not

664
00:30:33,600 --> 00:30:36,760
Speaker 1: going to be mom, and it was like heartbreaking. She

665
00:30:37,680 --> 00:30:43,640
Speaker 1: got pregnant at thirty nine naturally, no anything else, and

666
00:30:43,960 --> 00:30:47,400
Speaker 1: she's like it's just a testament too, Like she always

667
00:30:47,440 --> 00:30:49,480
Speaker 1: like wanted to be a mom, you know, like she

668
00:30:49,520 --> 00:30:51,720
Speaker 1: knew that she had that, like that was like always

669
00:30:51,760 --> 00:30:55,440
Speaker 1: a dream of hers. And so I don't really know

670
00:30:55,440 --> 00:31:01,240
Speaker 1: why I shared that. How did it come back around?

671
00:31:03,920 --> 00:31:06,680
Speaker 1: If it's meant what's meant for you will be for you?

672
00:31:07,240 --> 00:31:08,160
Speaker 1: Is that where I was going with that?

673
00:31:08,480 --> 00:31:09,000
Speaker 7: I don't know.

674
00:31:09,200 --> 00:31:09,680
Speaker 4: I can't know.

675
00:31:10,240 --> 00:31:12,600
Speaker 7: Yeah, you're on your nobody.

676
00:31:12,240 --> 00:31:14,320
Speaker 1: Can reel me back into the wyro. Why did I

677
00:31:14,360 --> 00:31:14,920
Speaker 1: bring that up?

678
00:31:15,280 --> 00:31:17,959
Speaker 10: Well, it's just because like she had let go, she

679
00:31:18,200 --> 00:31:21,720
Speaker 10: was she was attached to the possiblity. She was a

680
00:31:22,920 --> 00:31:25,600
Speaker 10: she was open to they're getting further from the possibility,

681
00:31:25,760 --> 00:31:28,280
Speaker 10: not attached what's the thing?

682
00:31:28,680 --> 00:31:30,880
Speaker 1: Open to the possibility and attached the outcome.

683
00:31:31,000 --> 00:31:33,560
Speaker 4: And so she had said, you know what what's meant

684
00:31:33,560 --> 00:31:35,960
Speaker 4: to be is gonna happen to me. She held on

685
00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:38,800
Speaker 4: to hope, and then she ended up getting pregnant. Naturally,

686
00:31:38,960 --> 00:31:41,520
Speaker 4: That's where I was going. Thank you for landing the plane.

687
00:31:41,320 --> 00:31:43,160
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah.

688
00:31:42,800 --> 00:31:45,320
Speaker 2: And all that to say, Haley, life is going to

689
00:31:45,360 --> 00:31:46,600
Speaker 2: be wonderful.

690
00:31:46,600 --> 00:31:48,720
Speaker 1: If I had a baby when I was twenty five.

691
00:31:48,800 --> 00:31:51,280
Speaker 1: I was still a baby at twenty five, Like I

692
00:31:51,280 --> 00:31:54,000
Speaker 1: could not imagine raising a child at twenty five. Me personally.

693
00:31:54,040 --> 00:31:55,680
Speaker 4: But the thing is like you would have done it,

694
00:31:55,760 --> 00:31:57,800
Speaker 4: you know, I just haven't got mad. And there's so

695
00:31:57,840 --> 00:32:00,479
Speaker 4: many people who get married younger and they love it

696
00:32:00,520 --> 00:32:03,520
Speaker 4: and they love having kids. It's just like everyone's different.

697
00:32:03,600 --> 00:32:06,280
Speaker 4: And I think the thing, Hayley, is that you're there's

698
00:32:06,320 --> 00:32:08,600
Speaker 4: gonna be ups, there's gonna be downs, there's gonna be

699
00:32:08,840 --> 00:32:11,960
Speaker 4: good dates, there's gonna be bad dates. There's gonna be heartbreak,

700
00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:14,000
Speaker 4: and there's gonna be love, and you're gonna get to

701
00:32:14,000 --> 00:32:14,800
Speaker 4: experience all of it.

702
00:32:14,960 --> 00:32:17,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, I thought, Robbie, I like you. I'm so lucky

703
00:32:17,400 --> 00:32:19,360
Speaker 1: you met me in my thirties, because in my twenties

704
00:32:19,400 --> 00:32:22,800
Speaker 1: I was not this amazing, not nearly as patient.

705
00:32:23,320 --> 00:32:25,880
Speaker 2: You wouldn't have been the right girl for Robbie at twenty.

706
00:32:25,640 --> 00:32:28,560
Speaker 1: Five, no no, no, no no. But now me now

707
00:32:29,080 --> 00:32:32,520
Speaker 1: the perfect girl for Robles, A plus wife.

708
00:32:32,640 --> 00:32:35,080
Speaker 6: The perspective is so funny because like I remember when

709
00:32:35,120 --> 00:32:37,760
Speaker 6: I was nineteen, I worked at a Van's shoe store

710
00:32:37,920 --> 00:32:39,400
Speaker 6: and there was a guy who worked in the soccer

711
00:32:39,440 --> 00:32:41,480
Speaker 6: room and he was twenty five. I remember I was like, oh, man,

712
00:32:41,560 --> 00:32:45,840
Speaker 6: Nathan's twenty five. Damn, Like he's working here that his

713
00:32:45,920 --> 00:32:47,520
Speaker 6: life is Oh I remember thinking, like, his.

714
00:32:47,440 --> 00:32:47,880
Speaker 7: Life is over.

715
00:32:47,920 --> 00:32:49,520
Speaker 6: I never want to be like when I'm twenty five,

716
00:32:49,680 --> 00:32:51,479
Speaker 6: I gotta be doing this, this and this, and then

717
00:32:51,680 --> 00:32:54,400
Speaker 6: looking back on like twenty five is nothing.

718
00:32:54,720 --> 00:32:56,080
Speaker 7: You're like you are a child.

719
00:32:56,480 --> 00:32:58,440
Speaker 1: But why is it twenty five? Is that year where

720
00:32:58,440 --> 00:33:01,320
Speaker 1: everyone thinks that everything needs to be done by twenty five? Yeah,

721
00:33:01,480 --> 00:33:03,160
Speaker 1: I'm like, when did that become the number?

722
00:33:03,240 --> 00:33:04,240
Speaker 2: Let's look at that number.

723
00:33:04,320 --> 00:33:05,160
Speaker 1: It's like our quarter of.

724
00:33:05,120 --> 00:33:05,720
Speaker 7: A sus.

725
00:33:07,920 --> 00:33:09,360
Speaker 1: Well, I still would have been late to that.

726
00:33:09,320 --> 00:33:09,400
Speaker 4: But.

727
00:33:11,040 --> 00:33:13,720
Speaker 7: Let's go to forty five, forty five.

728
00:33:13,960 --> 00:33:14,680
Speaker 2: Ninety five?

729
00:33:15,760 --> 00:33:18,000
Speaker 1: Yes, pushing it back.

730
00:33:18,440 --> 00:33:19,600
Speaker 2: Yeah.

731
00:33:20,400 --> 00:33:23,040
Speaker 6: Uh, here's an update. People ask for updates all the time.

732
00:33:23,040 --> 00:33:25,200
Speaker 6: We have one. This is really exciting. Last week, V

733
00:33:25,840 --> 00:33:28,080
Speaker 6: asked us for help with her breakup. She was with

734
00:33:28,120 --> 00:33:29,880
Speaker 6: her boyfriend for three years. He was the love of

735
00:33:29,920 --> 00:33:32,240
Speaker 6: her life. She had helped him get sober, but he

736
00:33:32,280 --> 00:33:34,360
Speaker 6: had broken up with her three times prior to this,

737
00:33:34,400 --> 00:33:36,240
Speaker 6: and even as mom said her son had stuff to

738
00:33:36,240 --> 00:33:38,360
Speaker 6: figure out and to not wait for him, V wrote

739
00:33:38,400 --> 00:33:41,040
Speaker 6: in again with an update. Thank you so much for

740
00:33:41,080 --> 00:33:43,360
Speaker 6: answering my question on the pod. Yesterday was my twenty

741
00:33:43,440 --> 00:33:45,440
Speaker 6: ninth birthday, and I've been coping with a few weeks

742
00:33:45,440 --> 00:33:47,520
Speaker 6: from hell trying to overcome this breakup.

743
00:33:48,000 --> 00:33:49,800
Speaker 7: Wanted to share an update that I did speak to

744
00:33:49,840 --> 00:33:50,280
Speaker 7: my ex.

745
00:33:50,360 --> 00:33:51,960
Speaker 6: We had a closure talk where he answered all the

746
00:33:52,000 --> 00:33:54,640
Speaker 6: questions I had about our relationship. It sounds like he

747
00:33:54,680 --> 00:33:57,880
Speaker 6: doesn't understand the concept of once the honeymoon phase ends,

748
00:33:57,960 --> 00:33:59,920
Speaker 6: you must develop a new kind of love for your person,

749
00:34:00,400 --> 00:34:02,040
Speaker 6: and he fell out of love with me, which is

750
00:34:02,080 --> 00:34:04,520
Speaker 6: a pattern he has now repeated in his other relationships

751
00:34:04,520 --> 00:34:07,560
Speaker 6: he's had as well. While we ended on an amicable note,

752
00:34:07,680 --> 00:34:10,839
Speaker 6: we're going into no contact now and working on ourselves individually.

753
00:34:11,480 --> 00:34:12,880
Speaker 6: I feel like I'll always think of him as a

754
00:34:12,920 --> 00:34:14,920
Speaker 6: core part of my life, as I loved him like

755
00:34:14,920 --> 00:34:17,720
Speaker 6: I've loved nobody ever before. But I'm working on myself

756
00:34:17,800 --> 00:34:19,759
Speaker 6: to be the best version I can be, and trying

757
00:34:19,800 --> 00:34:21,839
Speaker 6: to prove to myself what I am worth to ensure

758
00:34:21,880 --> 00:34:24,400
Speaker 6: I don't have to suffer heartache like this again. I

759
00:34:24,440 --> 00:34:26,480
Speaker 6: trust life's path to lead me in the right direction,

760
00:34:26,760 --> 00:34:29,000
Speaker 6: whether it's with someone who treats me like the absolute best,

761
00:34:29,280 --> 00:34:31,480
Speaker 6: or whether it's with new and improved versions of ourselves.

762
00:34:31,840 --> 00:34:33,560
Speaker 6: Thank you, guys for all your advice and for all

763
00:34:33,560 --> 00:34:35,480
Speaker 6: the joy bring into my life. Becca You're such an

764
00:34:35,480 --> 00:34:37,439
Speaker 6: authentic human being and I love how much you own

765
00:34:37,480 --> 00:34:39,480
Speaker 6: who you are and I just want nothing more than

766
00:34:39,480 --> 00:34:40,360
Speaker 6: to be best friends with you.

767
00:34:40,800 --> 00:34:41,200
Speaker 7: Tanya.

768
00:34:41,239 --> 00:34:43,239
Speaker 6: You remind me so much of myself and are just

769
00:34:43,280 --> 00:34:45,480
Speaker 6: so genuinely kind hearted. And I'm so happy for you

770
00:34:45,520 --> 00:34:47,359
Speaker 6: and Robbie and can't wait to watch you both rive

771
00:34:47,400 --> 00:34:48,319
Speaker 6: in twenty twenty five.

772
00:34:48,480 --> 00:34:50,000
Speaker 7: Cheers to you all and thanks again.

773
00:34:53,080 --> 00:34:55,120
Speaker 1: So we love but amazing.

774
00:34:55,200 --> 00:34:56,200
Speaker 2: We're so proud of me.

775
00:34:56,440 --> 00:34:59,839
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's such a huge step to take for yourself.

776
00:35:00,160 --> 00:35:03,200
Speaker 4: Yeah, to like make that decision so hard, but like

777
00:35:03,680 --> 00:35:05,560
Speaker 4: so impressive to choose yourself.

778
00:35:06,239 --> 00:35:07,560
Speaker 2: Yes, not many people do.

779
00:35:08,320 --> 00:35:08,919
Speaker 1: No, they don't.

780
00:35:08,920 --> 00:35:11,120
Speaker 2: So I hope you feel very proud of yourself. We're

781
00:35:11,160 --> 00:35:11,759
Speaker 2: rooting for you.

782
00:35:12,120 --> 00:35:15,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, we love you. V Keep us posted to you.

783
00:35:16,080 --> 00:35:18,880
Speaker 1: Keep dating yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.

784
00:35:18,840 --> 00:35:20,600
Speaker 2: Coming the updates of coming.

785
00:35:21,320 --> 00:35:21,520
Speaker 7: Yeah.

786
00:35:21,680 --> 00:35:23,840
Speaker 6: After every day to drop an email in that inbox.

787
00:35:24,080 --> 00:35:27,120
Speaker 6: We want up to the minute updates. We have one

788
00:35:27,120 --> 00:35:30,760
Speaker 6: more here before we say goodbye. This is from Happy

789
00:35:31,760 --> 00:35:34,759
Speaker 6: Thank you for helping me. Hi, Tanya, Mark Easton, and Becca.

790
00:35:34,880 --> 00:35:37,480
Speaker 6: I'm a mom of three from Florida, currently living in Utah.

791
00:35:37,680 --> 00:35:39,480
Speaker 6: I've been listening to your podcast since the very first

792
00:35:39,520 --> 00:35:42,600
Speaker 6: episode and absolutely adult door all four of you. Proud

793
00:35:42,640 --> 00:35:46,719
Speaker 6: time you taught yea happy to rise up. I just

794
00:35:46,719 --> 00:35:48,120
Speaker 6: want to let you know how much you've helped me

795
00:35:48,200 --> 00:35:50,600
Speaker 6: this last year. I was diagnosed with stage four coin

796
00:35:50,680 --> 00:35:52,840
Speaker 6: cancer in October twenty twenty three and had to stop

797
00:35:52,840 --> 00:35:55,000
Speaker 6: listening to all the murder mystery podcasts or any other

798
00:35:55,040 --> 00:35:58,279
Speaker 6: slightly negative, downer podcasts I used to listen to and

799
00:35:58,360 --> 00:36:01,319
Speaker 6: only stick with my upbeat, happy podcast, Yours and The

800
00:36:01,400 --> 00:36:03,799
Speaker 6: Toast because it can't be left to my own thoughts

801
00:36:03,880 --> 00:36:06,440
Speaker 6: due to current life circumstances. I've even gone back and

802
00:36:06,480 --> 00:36:08,680
Speaker 6: started re listening to scribing In since the first episode

803
00:36:08,719 --> 00:36:12,320
Speaker 6: or tany joined in. I'm currently on episode thirty five. Yesterday,

804
00:36:12,360 --> 00:36:14,279
Speaker 6: I was given slightly bad news about my condition and

805
00:36:14,320 --> 00:36:17,080
Speaker 6: I couldn't fall asleep. My mind was spiraling while I

806
00:36:17,120 --> 00:36:18,960
Speaker 6: was laying there, so I put on your podcast, listening

807
00:36:18,960 --> 00:36:20,919
Speaker 6: to at three am to distract and uplift me while

808
00:36:20,920 --> 00:36:23,239
Speaker 6: trying to fall asleep and shaking with the giggles over

809
00:36:23,320 --> 00:36:26,239
Speaker 6: something time you said, thank you for aunnowingly helping me

810
00:36:26,320 --> 00:36:28,359
Speaker 6: during such a difficult time in my life, and can

811
00:36:28,400 --> 00:36:30,839
Speaker 6: you please plan a live podcast meetup so I can

812
00:36:30,880 --> 00:36:32,719
Speaker 6: meet my favorite podcasters celebrities.

813
00:36:32,920 --> 00:36:34,600
Speaker 7: You're my Jen Aniston's Brad Pitts.

814
00:36:37,200 --> 00:36:43,400
Speaker 1: Wow, that is happy happy. We are so sorry.

815
00:36:44,080 --> 00:36:45,480
Speaker 2: We are rooting for you.

816
00:36:45,560 --> 00:36:49,000
Speaker 4: I hope that your next checkup that you get great

817
00:36:49,040 --> 00:36:52,479
Speaker 4: news and that things are turned around and that you

818
00:36:52,560 --> 00:36:57,160
Speaker 4: start feeling better and only moving forward here is health

819
00:36:57,280 --> 00:36:58,120
Speaker 4: and wellness.

820
00:36:58,320 --> 00:37:01,960
Speaker 1: And I do feel like the direction you're going in,

821
00:37:02,040 --> 00:37:04,120
Speaker 1: like the fact that you stop listening to the murder

822
00:37:04,160 --> 00:37:06,239
Speaker 1: mysteries and the things that make you like anxious or

823
00:37:06,400 --> 00:37:08,840
Speaker 1: worry or like any of that stuff, is so important

824
00:37:08,840 --> 00:37:11,480
Speaker 1: because I think from what I have heard, when you

825
00:37:11,480 --> 00:37:14,759
Speaker 1: are dealing with cancer, keeping your mind in a very positive,

826
00:37:14,920 --> 00:37:19,680
Speaker 1: happy spirited place is like very very important. So I

827
00:37:19,719 --> 00:37:22,799
Speaker 1: think that's also really good that you're doing that, and

828
00:37:23,160 --> 00:37:26,560
Speaker 1: we are praying for you. We are praying for health

829
00:37:26,719 --> 00:37:29,160
Speaker 1: and happiness. And the fact that you took the time

830
00:37:29,280 --> 00:37:33,240
Speaker 1: to send this email is so sweet and so nice,

831
00:37:33,280 --> 00:37:36,960
Speaker 1: and honestly, it's something that I feel like Beck and

832
00:37:37,000 --> 00:37:40,359
Speaker 1: I've talked about a lot since we've been doing this

833
00:37:40,400 --> 00:37:43,320
Speaker 1: podcast for so long, that we really want this podcast

834
00:37:43,400 --> 00:37:47,600
Speaker 1: just to be light and fun and funny and like

835
00:37:47,640 --> 00:37:49,880
Speaker 1: a place for people just to kind of escape and

836
00:37:50,880 --> 00:37:53,759
Speaker 1: have a good time, not like we're trying to be

837
00:37:53,800 --> 00:37:56,960
Speaker 1: like Oprah. No, maybe at one point we wanted to

838
00:37:57,040 --> 00:37:57,840
Speaker 1: lean in that direction.

839
00:37:58,920 --> 00:38:01,960
Speaker 6: Nah yah, we beat her for the people's choice toward it.

840
00:38:02,640 --> 00:38:07,399
Speaker 2: Yeah that year, we have our own thing going on.

841
00:38:07,719 --> 00:38:11,279
Speaker 4: Yeah, but I do I love like the shaking with

842
00:38:11,400 --> 00:38:13,200
Speaker 4: giggles at something Tanya said.

843
00:38:13,360 --> 00:38:15,399
Speaker 2: Who who knows what that could be?

844
00:38:15,719 --> 00:38:19,920
Speaker 4: You know. But I hope that you feel surrounded, I loved,

845
00:38:19,920 --> 00:38:21,640
Speaker 4: and I hope when you listen to this podcast it's

846
00:38:21,640 --> 00:38:24,359
Speaker 4: an escape from everything going on for all of you.

847
00:38:24,400 --> 00:38:26,879
Speaker 4: I hope that you listen to this podcast and it's

848
00:38:26,920 --> 00:38:31,680
Speaker 4: a safe space for you to go to disconnect and be.

849
00:38:33,440 --> 00:38:35,839
Speaker 2: Just absolutely baffled.

850
00:38:35,560 --> 00:38:40,600
Speaker 4: Or by what Tanya's saying or encouraged or just to

851
00:38:40,920 --> 00:38:44,320
Speaker 4: escape and have a laugh. And we love y'all so much,

852
00:38:44,440 --> 00:38:47,400
Speaker 4: and that's why we do the podcast. Truly, This is

853
00:38:47,400 --> 00:38:48,480
Speaker 4: why we do the podcast.

854
00:38:48,560 --> 00:38:50,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like really, that email means so much. Happy.

855
00:38:51,120 --> 00:38:56,000
Speaker 6: Yeah, We're so grateful to be part of your routine,

856
00:38:56,400 --> 00:38:59,560
Speaker 6: and especially when you're looking for something positive. I just

857
00:38:59,600 --> 00:39:01,799
Speaker 6: think a special place to be in people's lives for that,

858
00:39:02,120 --> 00:39:03,200
Speaker 6: I'm so I'm so grateful.

859
00:39:03,280 --> 00:39:06,160
Speaker 4: Out of all the podcasts, how lucky are we to

860
00:39:06,200 --> 00:39:08,759
Speaker 4: be a part of Happy Today and so many of

861
00:39:08,840 --> 00:39:10,640
Speaker 4: our scrubber's daily lives.

862
00:39:11,640 --> 00:39:12,719
Speaker 2: We love y'all so much.

863
00:39:12,840 --> 00:39:16,520
Speaker 1: We love you so much, and.

864
00:39:16,160 --> 00:39:19,680
Speaker 4: We will be back next week for more of this

865
00:39:20,800 --> 00:39:23,359
Speaker 4: and more of that, this and that.

866
00:39:23,800 --> 00:39:25,400
Speaker 1: Do you think I'm going to be different as a wife?

867
00:39:28,080 --> 00:39:29,080
Speaker 2: Stay tuned for the next