1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:03,480 Speaker 1: You know, sometimes we get these we get the question 2 00:00:03,520 --> 00:00:06,760 Speaker 1: we just had where it's like, yeah, you're fine, You're 3 00:00:06,760 --> 00:00:08,880 Speaker 1: everything's good, you don't need a girl, and then you 4 00:00:08,920 --> 00:00:13,640 Speaker 1: get Jenna who's fifteen, and I just say, man, Joe, 5 00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:17,360 Speaker 1: I'm so sorry. It's not supposed to be like this. 6 00:00:28,800 --> 00:00:31,200 Speaker 1: Welcome back to the show, Guys, episode number two hundred 7 00:00:31,240 --> 00:00:34,840 Speaker 1: and nine and special guest. Well he's not special, he's 8 00:00:35,360 --> 00:00:39,280 Speaker 1: normal guest. Tyler, my brother, you are special, just not 9 00:00:39,400 --> 00:00:45,800 Speaker 1: to this podcast. You are my middle brother because everyone knows, 10 00:00:46,800 --> 00:00:53,800 Speaker 1: personal manager, co owner of ye with me and also 11 00:00:53,840 --> 00:00:56,960 Speaker 1: the guy, the first guy in the line of all 12 00:00:57,000 --> 00:00:59,920 Speaker 1: the people maybe besides Amber alone, that I go to 13 00:01:00,080 --> 00:01:04,120 Speaker 1: for advice in my life. Probably Amber's number one, and 14 00:01:04,160 --> 00:01:07,120 Speaker 1: you're a close second, even though before Amber it was 15 00:01:07,240 --> 00:01:14,319 Speaker 1: always you. So it's dude, I trust you with every 16 00:01:14,400 --> 00:01:19,080 Speaker 1: issue I've gone through my entire life. And so we 17 00:01:19,160 --> 00:01:24,039 Speaker 1: have people on this podcast trusting us with some really 18 00:01:24,319 --> 00:01:30,240 Speaker 1: serious questions, sometimes serious and sometimes just a life a 19 00:01:30,319 --> 00:01:34,520 Speaker 1: practical life decision that they're needing advice for. And that's 20 00:01:34,560 --> 00:01:36,160 Speaker 1: why I have you on here. 21 00:01:36,200 --> 00:01:36,360 Speaker 2: Man. 22 00:01:37,240 --> 00:01:37,559 Speaker 1: Thanks. 23 00:01:37,640 --> 00:01:39,400 Speaker 2: I like how when we get in front of the camera, 24 00:01:39,480 --> 00:01:41,679 Speaker 2: that's when you tell me how you really feel. 25 00:01:43,319 --> 00:01:46,160 Speaker 1: Okay, let's walk through this. Do I not. 26 00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:50,120 Speaker 2: I'm just kidding. You were just business a lot. You 27 00:01:50,200 --> 00:01:54,560 Speaker 2: are definitely man, You're a word of affirmation. Guy, I 28 00:01:54,640 --> 00:01:57,240 Speaker 2: don't think I am. I think I'm a access service. 29 00:01:57,280 --> 00:01:58,800 Speaker 2: That's why I go to Mom so she can cook 30 00:01:58,840 --> 00:01:59,640 Speaker 2: me maails and stuff. 31 00:02:00,480 --> 00:02:05,400 Speaker 1: I mean, maybe I have to also say physical touches 32 00:02:05,480 --> 00:02:07,080 Speaker 1: kind of your thing it used to be. I don't 33 00:02:07,160 --> 00:02:08,000 Speaker 1: you're getting away from that? 34 00:02:08,120 --> 00:02:10,919 Speaker 2: Well, I mean I love hugging the kids and loving 35 00:02:10,919 --> 00:02:13,880 Speaker 2: on them too, So maybe I got three. I don't know, 36 00:02:14,520 --> 00:02:16,560 Speaker 2: but I know that I love acts of service. 37 00:02:16,680 --> 00:02:19,079 Speaker 1: Okay. Well, so Maverick is asleep right now taking a 38 00:02:19,200 --> 00:02:22,760 Speaker 1: nap as we record this podcast, and he doesn't know 39 00:02:22,800 --> 00:02:24,360 Speaker 1: that when he wakes up, he's going to see ty 40 00:02:24,400 --> 00:02:29,680 Speaker 1: Ty's red truck in the driveway and go crazy because 41 00:02:29,760 --> 00:02:33,040 Speaker 1: he loves your truck. Man, He loves you, but he 42 00:02:33,120 --> 00:02:34,959 Speaker 1: loves you also because of your truck. 43 00:02:35,320 --> 00:02:39,120 Speaker 2: Yeah, he yeah, I'm trying to learn if he really 44 00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:41,280 Speaker 2: likes me. I think he does. But he loves the 45 00:02:41,320 --> 00:02:45,840 Speaker 2: trucks like your Earl's truck, your truck, Uncle Johnny's truck, 46 00:02:45,960 --> 00:02:49,320 Speaker 2: my truck. He loves Parkers and for a while, I 47 00:02:49,360 --> 00:02:51,400 Speaker 2: thought it was just because of the gum, because I 48 00:02:51,400 --> 00:02:55,520 Speaker 2: have gum in there. But sometimes I don't have gum 49 00:02:55,520 --> 00:02:57,519 Speaker 2: in there. He doesn't. He just lots to just honk 50 00:02:57,600 --> 00:02:59,959 Speaker 2: the horn and pressed the buttons and set in my lap. 51 00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:03,520 Speaker 1: Well, what we do on this podcast is we answer 52 00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:05,640 Speaker 1: your questions like we're sitting in the cab of Tyler's 53 00:03:05,639 --> 00:03:09,680 Speaker 1: truck and eating gum driving down the road. You ask 54 00:03:09,760 --> 00:03:12,480 Speaker 1: a question, could be about anything in life. Email me 55 00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:16,520 Speaker 1: Grangersmith podcast at gmail dot com. And we've done this 56 00:03:16,600 --> 00:03:19,120 Speaker 1: two hundred and eight times, and today is two hundred 57 00:03:19,160 --> 00:03:21,520 Speaker 1: and nine that we have done this. And I'm going 58 00:03:21,560 --> 00:03:25,720 Speaker 1: to start here just randomly going through your emails, and 59 00:03:25,760 --> 00:03:29,720 Speaker 1: the first one subject line says cancer and the question says, 60 00:03:29,720 --> 00:03:33,040 Speaker 1: Hey Grainger, MO. Name is Jack. I'm sixteen from northeast Ohio. 61 00:03:33,200 --> 00:03:36,640 Speaker 1: We recently found out that my grandpa has cancer like 62 00:03:36,760 --> 00:03:40,680 Speaker 1: cyst in his lungs and testines and possibly heart. It's 63 00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:43,880 Speaker 1: truly hard to deal with and comprehend. Do you have 64 00:03:43,920 --> 00:03:49,680 Speaker 1: any advice on how to deal with this? All right? Jack, 65 00:03:50,280 --> 00:03:55,080 Speaker 1: thanks for emailing. Buddy sixteen. Shout out to Ohio one 66 00:03:55,120 --> 00:03:58,920 Speaker 1: of my favorite places, some of my favorite people. In Ohio. 67 00:04:00,880 --> 00:04:04,440 Speaker 1: So I appreciate you, buddy. There's nothing easy about going 68 00:04:04,480 --> 00:04:07,880 Speaker 1: through what you're going through. And I'm so sorry. Is 69 00:04:07,880 --> 00:04:09,680 Speaker 1: the first thing that Tyler and I would say is 70 00:04:09,880 --> 00:04:14,480 Speaker 1: so sorry that you're dealing with this. And this is 71 00:04:14,920 --> 00:04:21,440 Speaker 1: I'm assuming your first experience with some kind of tragedy 72 00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:26,680 Speaker 1: or anxiety that will end up being your first experience 73 00:04:26,720 --> 00:04:34,520 Speaker 1: with grief and loss. And this is the thing. And 74 00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:37,880 Speaker 1: it sounds like a country song when I say this, 75 00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:41,839 Speaker 1: but grandpa's are going to die. You know, There's there's 76 00:04:41,839 --> 00:04:43,520 Speaker 1: a couple of things in life that we know, and 77 00:04:43,640 --> 00:04:47,080 Speaker 1: one of them is that grandpa's are going to die. Man, 78 00:04:47,880 --> 00:04:50,000 Speaker 1: it even is it's even hard for me to say it. 79 00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:54,679 Speaker 1: I've lost too. Tyler's lost the same two. My kids 80 00:04:54,680 --> 00:05:00,760 Speaker 1: have lost one, and there is there are some things 81 00:05:00,760 --> 00:05:03,480 Speaker 1: in life that we have to understand. It's hard at 82 00:05:03,560 --> 00:05:10,359 Speaker 1: sixteen to know this. But when you say you're surprised 83 00:05:10,360 --> 00:05:15,520 Speaker 1: that this is happening, right, you're surprised. And I'm telling 84 00:05:15,560 --> 00:05:18,680 Speaker 1: you that you are now part of a club that 85 00:05:18,800 --> 00:05:21,120 Speaker 1: none of us want to be in, but we're all 86 00:05:21,279 --> 00:05:26,479 Speaker 1: a part of it. I lost my granddad at eight, right, Papa. 87 00:05:26,640 --> 00:05:28,720 Speaker 1: I lost them at eight, and then I lost Paul 88 00:05:28,839 --> 00:05:31,240 Speaker 1: at No, you lost Papaul when you're ten, because I 89 00:05:31,240 --> 00:05:34,200 Speaker 1: think I was six okay ten? And then Paul I 90 00:05:34,240 --> 00:05:38,600 Speaker 1: lost when we were I was like nineteen, were you 91 00:05:38,720 --> 00:05:44,920 Speaker 1: like seventeen? At sixteen? I was sixteen sixteen. So we've booked. Man, 92 00:05:44,960 --> 00:05:47,599 Speaker 1: we've been there in the same time, the same age 93 00:05:47,720 --> 00:05:52,359 Speaker 1: as you. And when I lost my dad, that was 94 00:05:52,480 --> 00:05:55,360 Speaker 1: crushing because I wanted my kids to be able to 95 00:05:55,400 --> 00:05:58,360 Speaker 1: go fishing with them, and I wanted dad to teach 96 00:05:58,440 --> 00:06:00,800 Speaker 1: them how to drive a truck, and I want a 97 00:06:00,880 --> 00:06:05,320 Speaker 1: dad to do that special grandpa stuff and he couldn't. 98 00:06:06,080 --> 00:06:09,480 Speaker 1: And so, you know, to to answer your question, how 99 00:06:09,480 --> 00:06:11,400 Speaker 1: do you deal with this? I think the first step 100 00:06:11,440 --> 00:06:15,279 Speaker 1: and how do you deal with losing grandpa? Besides me 101 00:06:15,320 --> 00:06:19,280 Speaker 1: saying I'm sorry, is understanding that this is this is 102 00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:21,960 Speaker 1: not crazy, that it's happening, even though it might seem 103 00:06:22,040 --> 00:06:25,320 Speaker 1: like it. It's a part of the flow of life. 104 00:06:25,960 --> 00:06:27,920 Speaker 1: And if you don't lose him at sixteen, which you 105 00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:31,560 Speaker 1: might not, you mean, he might recover from this, but 106 00:06:31,720 --> 00:06:34,920 Speaker 1: then you're going to lose him at twenty or twenty four, 107 00:06:35,200 --> 00:06:38,240 Speaker 1: or at the latest twenty eight or thirty. But at 108 00:06:38,279 --> 00:06:41,400 Speaker 1: some point you're going to lose grandpa. And it's easier 109 00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:42,880 Speaker 1: for me to say that because I don't love him 110 00:06:42,880 --> 00:06:46,080 Speaker 1: like you do. But it's a part of life. And 111 00:06:46,120 --> 00:06:47,360 Speaker 1: what do you say to Jack Tyler? 112 00:06:50,279 --> 00:06:54,720 Speaker 2: First thing I would say to Jack would be, we 113 00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:58,120 Speaker 2: graindeer and I don't understand your relationship with your granddad, 114 00:06:58,200 --> 00:07:02,120 Speaker 2: So it's we can only speak on our experiences, you know, 115 00:07:02,200 --> 00:07:05,600 Speaker 2: for me and you, we would see our granddads a 116 00:07:05,640 --> 00:07:07,800 Speaker 2: couple times a year, right, you know, kind of a 117 00:07:07,839 --> 00:07:10,840 Speaker 2: tipock during the holidays and stuff, because we're in different cities. 118 00:07:12,520 --> 00:07:16,440 Speaker 2: So that's the relationship that we had with them. Very loving, 119 00:07:17,960 --> 00:07:20,200 Speaker 2: obviously very sad when we lost them. But we don't 120 00:07:20,200 --> 00:07:22,440 Speaker 2: know Jack's He could see him every day. I don't 121 00:07:22,440 --> 00:07:23,920 Speaker 2: know if he said in the email, but so his 122 00:07:24,040 --> 00:07:28,720 Speaker 2: level is going to be different than ours. The second 123 00:07:28,800 --> 00:07:32,240 Speaker 2: thing I would say that my mind these days automatically 124 00:07:32,240 --> 00:07:36,440 Speaker 2: goes to is, man, what a blessing to have a granddad? Like, 125 00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:39,360 Speaker 2: what a blessing to have one? What a blessing to 126 00:07:39,400 --> 00:07:41,920 Speaker 2: have him for sixteen years. Again, we don't know the 127 00:07:41,960 --> 00:07:47,640 Speaker 2: relationship that he has, but let's assume that it's good gratefulness. Man, 128 00:07:48,080 --> 00:07:51,360 Speaker 2: you know, that's the way that I quickly framed my 129 00:07:51,440 --> 00:07:54,480 Speaker 2: mind when we lost dad. It was thirty years, thirty 130 00:07:54,520 --> 00:07:57,240 Speaker 2: great years with the great dad, and focus on that. 131 00:07:57,240 --> 00:07:59,440 Speaker 2: That would be my recommendation, is just a focus on 132 00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:03,040 Speaker 2: the good time and the good memories. So good man, Man, 133 00:08:03,320 --> 00:08:06,920 Speaker 2: I cannot say it any better than that, Jack, you 134 00:08:08,160 --> 00:08:12,600 Speaker 2: have at least sixteen years with a granddad that's so 135 00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:20,240 Speaker 2: good that you are emailing me essentially a stranger to say, 136 00:08:20,240 --> 00:08:22,800 Speaker 2: how you said, it's truly hard to deal with and 137 00:08:22,880 --> 00:08:29,360 Speaker 2: comprehend this. So your granddad is so good in your 138 00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:33,840 Speaker 2: life that you're emailing a stranger a podcast to learn 139 00:08:33,880 --> 00:08:36,640 Speaker 2: how to deal with the possibility of losing him. And 140 00:08:36,679 --> 00:08:40,560 Speaker 2: so Tyler would say, dude, you got sixteen years. A 141 00:08:40,600 --> 00:08:43,600 Speaker 2: lot of people like my kids, for example, my kids 142 00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:46,440 Speaker 2: didn't get any My daughter got two years and Lincoln 143 00:08:46,559 --> 00:08:48,400 Speaker 2: was a baby when we lost my dad, who would 144 00:08:48,400 --> 00:08:51,000 Speaker 2: have been a great granddad. He would have been a 145 00:08:51,040 --> 00:08:55,880 Speaker 2: really good granddad, I should say. And they didn't get 146 00:08:55,880 --> 00:08:59,000 Speaker 2: to experience what you did, Jack. And so the first 147 00:08:59,120 --> 00:09:02,480 Speaker 2: that the first thing is buddy, I'm sorry. The second 148 00:09:02,480 --> 00:09:05,319 Speaker 2: thing is your people are gonna lose granddads. It's a 149 00:09:05,360 --> 00:09:08,240 Speaker 2: part of life. And the third thing is just be grateful. 150 00:09:08,320 --> 00:09:12,800 Speaker 1: Man. It's it will devastate you when you lose them, 151 00:09:13,160 --> 00:09:15,559 Speaker 1: but if you can just continue to lean into that, man, 152 00:09:15,600 --> 00:09:18,760 Speaker 1: I'm so grateful I had him. I'm so grateful I 153 00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:22,120 Speaker 1: had him. I'm so grateful. Then I promise you, after 154 00:09:22,160 --> 00:09:27,280 Speaker 1: you lose him, which you will eventually as time goes by, 155 00:09:27,800 --> 00:09:31,400 Speaker 1: that gratefulness practice that you're putting in now will pay 156 00:09:31,440 --> 00:09:35,160 Speaker 1: off down the road, because then those memories will start, 157 00:09:36,040 --> 00:09:39,440 Speaker 1: the sad memories will start becoming happy memories in the 158 00:09:39,440 --> 00:09:42,319 Speaker 1: way that say you're sixteen. How so when you're thirty, 159 00:09:42,640 --> 00:09:45,960 Speaker 1: you'll go, man, You'll catch a fish, for example, and 160 00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:49,640 Speaker 1: you'll go, man, Granddad, would you would love this lake? Man, 161 00:09:49,840 --> 00:09:53,160 Speaker 1: I'm catching him like crazy. It's it's seven o'clock in 162 00:09:53,160 --> 00:09:55,720 Speaker 1: the morning. The water's like glass, there's a lot, there's 163 00:09:55,800 --> 00:09:58,880 Speaker 1: smoke coming off the water. And every time I throw 164 00:09:58,920 --> 00:10:02,080 Speaker 1: this lure in under that one oak tree over there, 165 00:10:02,559 --> 00:10:05,920 Speaker 1: basso hit it is splashes, and you'll go You'll think 166 00:10:05,960 --> 00:10:08,640 Speaker 1: to yourself, Granddad could be standing right next to me 167 00:10:09,320 --> 00:10:12,640 Speaker 1: loving this, and you'll smile about it instead of being 168 00:10:12,679 --> 00:10:14,840 Speaker 1: sad about it. It takes a while, but if you 169 00:10:15,160 --> 00:10:18,240 Speaker 1: do this gratefulness that Tyler's talking about. If you lay 170 00:10:18,280 --> 00:10:22,160 Speaker 1: into that, that's where you're going to end up. Right. 171 00:10:23,600 --> 00:10:28,600 Speaker 2: Yeah, And just to the gratefulness is you know there's 172 00:10:28,640 --> 00:10:31,880 Speaker 2: different kinds of kinds of deaths and spend time with them. 173 00:10:31,920 --> 00:10:33,600 Speaker 2: Now it sounds like you still have time to be 174 00:10:33,679 --> 00:10:35,600 Speaker 2: with them. Tell tell him that you love him if 175 00:10:35,640 --> 00:10:39,520 Speaker 2: you haven't already. Tell other people. You know, we always 176 00:10:39,600 --> 00:10:41,440 Speaker 2: kind of hear the cliche, you know, tell people you 177 00:10:41,480 --> 00:10:43,480 Speaker 2: love them. What's like, sometimes it takes a wake up 178 00:10:43,520 --> 00:10:46,080 Speaker 2: call like this for you to tell your brothers or 179 00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:49,800 Speaker 2: your sisters, or your mom or you know, your dad 180 00:10:50,040 --> 00:10:52,400 Speaker 2: that you love them and you care for them, and 181 00:10:52,440 --> 00:10:54,480 Speaker 2: don't just say it, but show them with your actions. 182 00:10:54,480 --> 00:10:59,800 Speaker 2: And one cool thing perspective switch that we all should 183 00:11:00,559 --> 00:11:05,240 Speaker 2: try to try to implement is, you know, say that 184 00:11:05,280 --> 00:11:08,880 Speaker 2: your mom. Say our mom is sixty years old. We 185 00:11:08,920 --> 00:11:10,520 Speaker 2: have a great relationship, we see her all the time. 186 00:11:10,520 --> 00:11:13,440 Speaker 2: But let's say that she's sixty and let's say she 187 00:11:13,559 --> 00:11:16,480 Speaker 2: lives in another city or a state, and you hope 188 00:11:16,520 --> 00:11:20,080 Speaker 2: that she lives to ninety. Right, So you're like, I 189 00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:24,480 Speaker 2: got thirty more years with mom. Well that's not the case. 190 00:11:24,840 --> 00:11:27,320 Speaker 2: Thirty more years. The perspective switch that you should have 191 00:11:27,440 --> 00:11:30,839 Speaker 2: is how many times a year do you see her Christmas, 192 00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:34,280 Speaker 2: maybe a birthday, or a miscellaneous trip. So let's say 193 00:11:34,280 --> 00:11:37,959 Speaker 2: two times a year. So if you say thirty years, 194 00:11:38,960 --> 00:11:41,640 Speaker 2: you got sixty times that you get to see your 195 00:11:41,679 --> 00:11:46,480 Speaker 2: mom forever. Like for me, that just turned the switch. 196 00:11:46,640 --> 00:11:48,599 Speaker 1: What book was that? Remember we read that there was 197 00:11:48,640 --> 00:11:51,200 Speaker 1: a book where he was like adding up all the 198 00:11:51,240 --> 00:11:53,600 Speaker 1: times that he would see He was like, Man, I'm 199 00:11:53,640 --> 00:11:56,240 Speaker 1: going to see my parents twenty four more times if 200 00:11:56,240 --> 00:11:57,480 Speaker 1: I stay on the same pattern. 201 00:11:57,679 --> 00:12:01,440 Speaker 2: Yeah, I can't remember. Maybe it'll come to me. But right, yeah, 202 00:12:01,520 --> 00:12:03,360 Speaker 2: it's wild and say. 203 00:12:03,240 --> 00:12:05,400 Speaker 1: Like Jesse, It'sler maybe or somebody like that. 204 00:12:05,440 --> 00:12:08,360 Speaker 2: Maybe Jesse or like a Hell or somewhere. But yeah, 205 00:12:08,400 --> 00:12:12,040 Speaker 2: I mean say that, Say you know our dad died 206 00:12:12,040 --> 00:12:16,320 Speaker 2: at sixty one, so you know again, say you know 207 00:12:16,480 --> 00:12:19,760 Speaker 2: I'm forty, say twenty twenty years, two times a year, 208 00:12:19,800 --> 00:12:23,240 Speaker 2: that's forty times, or just keep shrinking it. Yeah many 209 00:12:23,360 --> 00:12:26,959 Speaker 2: is ninety six? Yeah, each time I go see here, 210 00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:29,880 Speaker 2: now it's this could be the last time. 211 00:12:31,120 --> 00:12:34,400 Speaker 1: Dude. I think that was the most well rounded answer 212 00:12:34,440 --> 00:12:36,440 Speaker 1: to a question, because then I could recap it in 213 00:12:36,480 --> 00:12:40,800 Speaker 1: this way. Jack First, I'm sorry. Second, you're going to 214 00:12:40,880 --> 00:12:45,400 Speaker 1: lose Granddad's. That's a reality. We need to learn that reality. Three, 215 00:12:45,880 --> 00:12:48,199 Speaker 1: be grateful for the sixteen years you had with them, 216 00:12:48,760 --> 00:12:52,280 Speaker 1: and then lastly, be present. Now you have a gift 217 00:12:52,520 --> 00:12:55,560 Speaker 1: now of knowing that the time is growing near. We 218 00:12:55,679 --> 00:12:59,600 Speaker 1: lost our dad suddenly. We didn't have that kind of opportunity. 219 00:12:59,640 --> 00:13:01,800 Speaker 1: So this you could look at this as a gift 220 00:13:02,120 --> 00:13:06,120 Speaker 1: that now you have an awareness and acute awareness that 221 00:13:06,520 --> 00:13:09,960 Speaker 1: that of his mortality, that you don't have much more 222 00:13:09,960 --> 00:13:12,360 Speaker 1: time with them, and you spend that time with them 223 00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:15,280 Speaker 1: now as presently as you can. Maybe maybe you take 224 00:13:15,679 --> 00:13:18,679 Speaker 1: a voice recorded and record some of his stories on 225 00:13:18,720 --> 00:13:22,360 Speaker 1: your phone. Maybe you have some conversations and you write down, like, 226 00:13:22,400 --> 00:13:24,959 Speaker 1: what are ten questions that I would love to ask 227 00:13:25,320 --> 00:13:28,199 Speaker 1: my grandpa? I did that. I wrote a song called 228 00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:30,800 Speaker 1: five More Minutes about my grandpa that questions I didn't 229 00:13:30,800 --> 00:13:33,360 Speaker 1: ask him. That's what it was about. So so yeah, 230 00:13:33,400 --> 00:13:36,040 Speaker 1: I'm sorry you will lose Granddad's, Be grateful you had them, 231 00:13:36,040 --> 00:13:39,200 Speaker 1: and lastly, be present with him because you still have 232 00:13:39,240 --> 00:13:39,800 Speaker 1: them today. 233 00:13:40,360 --> 00:13:44,640 Speaker 2: And tell him about Jesus the most important thing. Number five, 234 00:13:44,679 --> 00:13:46,040 Speaker 2: Tell him about Jesus. 235 00:13:48,040 --> 00:13:50,800 Speaker 1: Man. That was a good. That was a good ten 236 00:13:50,840 --> 00:13:52,319 Speaker 1: minutes or so on that, but I think it was 237 00:13:52,480 --> 00:13:54,240 Speaker 1: that was a thorough question for a lot of others. 238 00:13:55,320 --> 00:13:57,800 Speaker 1: Next question that pops up here says subject line Internet 239 00:13:57,840 --> 00:14:00,920 Speaker 1: Bible studies are going to your first off, love your book. 240 00:14:01,240 --> 00:14:03,440 Speaker 1: It's amazing. Everyone needs to listen to the audiobook and 241 00:14:03,440 --> 00:14:05,240 Speaker 1: the interview with Amber and all the other extras you 242 00:14:05,280 --> 00:14:09,960 Speaker 1: added made it well worth a time and purchase. Thank you, buddy. 243 00:14:11,040 --> 00:14:14,400 Speaker 1: He says, I have two soon to be three little 244 00:14:14,400 --> 00:14:18,160 Speaker 1: ones at home plus work, so most people, like most 245 00:14:18,160 --> 00:14:22,120 Speaker 1: people these days, life is busy. However, I'm having a 246 00:14:22,160 --> 00:14:25,280 Speaker 1: feeling that I need to join a Bible study because 247 00:14:25,320 --> 00:14:27,240 Speaker 1: I do not feel that I get enough out of 248 00:14:27,320 --> 00:14:31,000 Speaker 1: reading it on my own. Do you know any online 249 00:14:31,040 --> 00:14:34,120 Speaker 1: forum or internet type Bible studies that can be read 250 00:14:34,240 --> 00:14:39,840 Speaker 1: or contributed when I find time during the week. And 251 00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:42,440 Speaker 1: then he says, I got to see you in Columbus 252 00:14:42,800 --> 00:14:45,640 Speaker 1: last time you were there. It was amazing. I wish 253 00:14:45,720 --> 00:14:47,760 Speaker 1: I could have made it to more. Yeee, Tyler, it 254 00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:52,400 Speaker 1: says Tyler, asking a question to Tyler and dude, it's 255 00:14:52,400 --> 00:14:54,600 Speaker 1: a great question. I'm so glad that this came up 256 00:14:54,640 --> 00:14:58,160 Speaker 1: because I think this can open up different kinds of 257 00:14:58,200 --> 00:15:02,800 Speaker 1: discussions because you're probably very I think you come into 258 00:15:02,800 --> 00:15:05,240 Speaker 1: a category of a lot of people that you're like, man, 259 00:15:06,520 --> 00:15:09,320 Speaker 1: I don't know if I'm getting enough out of just 260 00:15:09,400 --> 00:15:13,000 Speaker 1: reading the Bible alone. And then Tyler and I would say, 261 00:15:13,560 --> 00:15:17,960 Speaker 1: you're right, and so let's dive into what that means. 262 00:15:18,280 --> 00:15:23,880 Speaker 1: And the first thing I'm going to say, and I'm 263 00:15:23,880 --> 00:15:27,920 Speaker 1: pretty sure Tyler will echo this, is that you're not 264 00:15:27,960 --> 00:15:33,480 Speaker 1: saying anything in the email about church, and like, man, oh, 265 00:15:33,560 --> 00:15:39,160 Speaker 1: grade are you talking about church again? It is such 266 00:15:39,200 --> 00:15:44,960 Speaker 1: an underestimated, not talked about any more component to Christian 267 00:15:45,040 --> 00:15:48,520 Speaker 1: life that we are commanded in the Bible to gather 268 00:15:49,920 --> 00:15:53,400 Speaker 1: with the local body, with the church. Why we're commanded 269 00:15:53,440 --> 00:15:58,400 Speaker 1: to do that is for all different reasons. The simplest 270 00:15:58,440 --> 00:16:01,600 Speaker 1: reason could be you're going to encourage your brothers and 271 00:16:01,600 --> 00:16:04,240 Speaker 1: sisters that see you walking in your Christian brothers and sisters. 272 00:16:05,760 --> 00:16:08,560 Speaker 1: Another simple reason is you're singing a song and someone 273 00:16:08,560 --> 00:16:10,040 Speaker 1: looks over at you and they see you singing and 274 00:16:10,080 --> 00:16:14,400 Speaker 1: they're like, man, Tyler's doing it. And then the more 275 00:16:14,720 --> 00:16:17,960 Speaker 1: the bigger reasons for you for your question is it 276 00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:23,720 Speaker 1: feels your soul, It spiritually increases your knowledge of God 277 00:16:23,960 --> 00:16:28,400 Speaker 1: and it supplements all of this Bible reading. So we 278 00:16:28,480 --> 00:16:31,520 Speaker 1: just heard it in our church on Sunday morning, reading 279 00:16:31,520 --> 00:16:36,360 Speaker 1: out a second Peter and Marshall's teaching about when Peter 280 00:16:36,440 --> 00:16:40,560 Speaker 1: says you need to always be able to supplement your 281 00:16:40,640 --> 00:16:43,560 Speaker 1: faith right, and then he goes down the list of 282 00:16:43,560 --> 00:16:47,960 Speaker 1: what to supplement with virtue, knowledge, brotherly love, and this 283 00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:50,680 Speaker 1: has done best in a church on a Sunday morning. 284 00:16:51,120 --> 00:16:55,520 Speaker 1: So when you're asking me about online Bible study, I'm like, hole, 285 00:16:55,520 --> 00:16:58,560 Speaker 1: pump the brakes on that. That's cool. There's nothing wrong 286 00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:02,240 Speaker 1: with that. Of course it's great. But I want Sunday 287 00:17:02,240 --> 00:17:07,879 Speaker 1: morning teaching to be first in your what you're getting 288 00:17:09,119 --> 00:17:11,960 Speaker 1: to add alongside your personal bibble reading Tyler, what you get. 289 00:17:12,520 --> 00:17:14,400 Speaker 2: So did he say that he's not going to church. 290 00:17:14,480 --> 00:17:15,560 Speaker 1: He didn't say anything about it. 291 00:17:16,920 --> 00:17:18,840 Speaker 2: Yeah, I would say that. The first thing that comes 292 00:17:18,880 --> 00:17:23,480 Speaker 2: to mind is that I'm encouraged that he's asking the 293 00:17:23,560 --> 00:17:26,199 Speaker 2: question about Bible study. That's a great sign that he 294 00:17:26,240 --> 00:17:30,520 Speaker 2: wants to learn more. Yeah, but I would go back 295 00:17:30,520 --> 00:17:33,320 Speaker 2: to the foundation needs to be find your local church 296 00:17:33,359 --> 00:17:37,840 Speaker 2: and become a member and start going regularly. And then 297 00:17:38,280 --> 00:17:40,720 Speaker 2: that is just kind of icing on the cake. Sometimes 298 00:17:41,720 --> 00:17:45,520 Speaker 2: as I've just became a member and I'm regularly going 299 00:17:45,720 --> 00:17:50,679 Speaker 2: to church, sometimes personally for me, certain things can start 300 00:17:52,160 --> 00:18:00,760 Speaker 2: not necessarily overwhelming me, but you know, we're both busy guys. 301 00:18:01,680 --> 00:18:04,960 Speaker 2: People listening to this are really busy too. Finding time 302 00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:07,560 Speaker 2: to go to church is the most important thing on 303 00:18:07,640 --> 00:18:10,760 Speaker 2: Sundays and making it a priority. But then personally, what 304 00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:13,800 Speaker 2: I'm not struggling or overwhelmed with really, but I'm just 305 00:18:13,840 --> 00:18:18,840 Speaker 2: trying to figure it out, is we got Bible study now, 306 00:18:19,760 --> 00:18:22,680 Speaker 2: which is I think indefinite at least through the fall, 307 00:18:23,640 --> 00:18:27,000 Speaker 2: every Wednesday night. Then we have members meetings the first 308 00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:31,960 Speaker 2: of the month on Sunday nights, where we missed the 309 00:18:31,960 --> 00:18:34,560 Speaker 2: football game last night, which I'm completely fine with, but 310 00:18:35,240 --> 00:18:37,399 Speaker 2: these are priorities that you need to have in place. 311 00:18:37,440 --> 00:18:42,520 Speaker 2: And then you have a men's gathering, Like I'm new 312 00:18:42,560 --> 00:18:46,520 Speaker 2: to this, so I'm learning all of the things, so 313 00:18:47,280 --> 00:18:49,560 Speaker 2: you get kind of what I'm saying where it's like, 314 00:18:49,680 --> 00:18:51,159 Speaker 2: and then I go back and I'm like, I just 315 00:18:51,200 --> 00:18:56,199 Speaker 2: need to foundationally make sure that I'm continuing to go 316 00:18:56,240 --> 00:18:59,080 Speaker 2: to church and be regular there and meeting the other 317 00:18:59,160 --> 00:19:02,000 Speaker 2: members and not beat myself up if I miss a 318 00:19:02,040 --> 00:19:04,440 Speaker 2: men's gathering or if I miss a Bible study. 319 00:19:04,640 --> 00:19:06,399 Speaker 1: Marshall is the first one to say. He's on the 320 00:19:06,400 --> 00:19:08,920 Speaker 1: podcast last week. He's the first one to say that 321 00:19:09,560 --> 00:19:14,760 Speaker 1: the Sunday morning gatherings, if you do that, we're called 322 00:19:14,800 --> 00:19:17,199 Speaker 1: to do that. But don't worry about anything else. You 323 00:19:17,200 --> 00:19:20,440 Speaker 1: don't have to make a single other thing. Don't make 324 00:19:20,520 --> 00:19:24,120 Speaker 1: that the priority. Like make the Sunday morning gathering the thing. 325 00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:27,200 Speaker 2: Again, I'm coming. You know me better than anybody. I'm 326 00:19:27,240 --> 00:19:31,360 Speaker 2: all or nothing. Yeah, So personally I'm struggling with like 327 00:19:31,440 --> 00:19:34,280 Speaker 2: I'm all in. Maybe I gotta go do everything or 328 00:19:34,320 --> 00:19:37,280 Speaker 2: it's nothing. So I need and with everything else in 329 00:19:37,320 --> 00:19:39,240 Speaker 2: my life, I need to be like it's okay to 330 00:19:39,400 --> 00:19:42,800 Speaker 2: just make sure you're at Sunday and you can miss this, 331 00:19:43,359 --> 00:19:45,720 Speaker 2: but go if you can. I don't mean to take 332 00:19:45,720 --> 00:19:47,439 Speaker 2: this away from what his question was. 333 00:19:47,760 --> 00:19:52,359 Speaker 1: Yeah, So his question is is there anything online and 334 00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:58,919 Speaker 1: online forum for Bible studies? And so yeah, we't. Just 335 00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:01,040 Speaker 1: like my brother said, Tyler, there's got two Tyler's going 336 00:20:01,080 --> 00:20:04,280 Speaker 1: on here. Just like my brother said, starts with the church. 337 00:20:04,280 --> 00:20:06,200 Speaker 1: It's gonna start with the church and then ask ask 338 00:20:06,320 --> 00:20:09,040 Speaker 1: members in your pasture. You know, that's what I've learned. 339 00:20:09,040 --> 00:20:11,240 Speaker 1: It's like I know basically nothing. You know, I'll read 340 00:20:11,280 --> 00:20:12,000 Speaker 1: my Bible. 341 00:20:11,720 --> 00:20:15,080 Speaker 2: Every morning, but the relationships that you build with starting 342 00:20:15,119 --> 00:20:18,040 Speaker 2: again with the local church, asking your pastor, Hey, do 343 00:20:18,080 --> 00:20:20,960 Speaker 2: you have any Bible studies that you recommend online? 344 00:20:21,440 --> 00:20:25,520 Speaker 1: Yeah? So when you were as you're going through the Bible, 345 00:20:25,640 --> 00:20:29,560 Speaker 1: reading your consistent Bible plan, which hopefully Tyler's doing that too, 346 00:20:30,640 --> 00:20:33,440 Speaker 1: and you're going through and you're saying, I don't feel 347 00:20:33,440 --> 00:20:35,880 Speaker 1: like I'm getting enough. The email says it's so confusing 348 00:20:35,880 --> 00:20:39,560 Speaker 1: with two Tyler's. But the email is saying, I'm going 349 00:20:39,560 --> 00:20:42,160 Speaker 1: through my reading and I don't feel like it's enough. 350 00:20:42,640 --> 00:20:45,639 Speaker 1: Totally get that, totally get it. So then I'm asking you, Tyler, 351 00:20:45,760 --> 00:20:51,360 Speaker 1: my brother Tyler, what do you tell him? Maybe when 352 00:20:51,440 --> 00:20:54,840 Speaker 1: you're reading and you have a question, do you have 353 00:20:54,880 --> 00:21:00,359 Speaker 1: a study Bible, like you recommend study Bibles. Instead of 354 00:21:00,400 --> 00:21:04,919 Speaker 1: going into a Bible study, maybe while you're reading your plan, 355 00:21:05,400 --> 00:21:10,080 Speaker 1: you're also going through a study Bible itself. I did 356 00:21:10,080 --> 00:21:11,639 Speaker 1: that the first time I read the Bible all the 357 00:21:11,640 --> 00:21:14,840 Speaker 1: way through. I read a study Bible. There's an NIV 358 00:21:14,960 --> 00:21:19,000 Speaker 1: Study Bible, and as I got to a new chapter 359 00:21:19,160 --> 00:21:22,280 Speaker 1: or a new book, I read the whole thing, like 360 00:21:22,480 --> 00:21:25,160 Speaker 1: here's who wrote this in what year and why they 361 00:21:25,160 --> 00:21:28,320 Speaker 1: wrote it, and who he was writing to, and then 362 00:21:28,600 --> 00:21:32,000 Speaker 1: here's the scenario. And then in little pieces as you 363 00:21:32,080 --> 00:21:36,879 Speaker 1: go there's examples and explanations as you're walking through it. 364 00:21:36,880 --> 00:21:39,040 Speaker 1: That's what a study Bible does. Is that what you did? 365 00:21:39,320 --> 00:21:42,040 Speaker 2: Other Bibles that don't have that, Yeah, yeah, yeah, that 366 00:21:42,160 --> 00:21:43,120 Speaker 2: are just scripture. 367 00:21:43,400 --> 00:21:46,400 Speaker 1: Yeah I'm sure there are, but yeah, my Bible now 368 00:21:46,440 --> 00:21:48,840 Speaker 1: doesn't have anything, it's just the scriptures. My Bible that 369 00:21:48,880 --> 00:21:52,280 Speaker 1: I really like is the John Maxwell and IV Leadership Bible, 370 00:21:52,320 --> 00:21:55,239 Speaker 1: and it'll take little it'll take the verse and then 371 00:21:55,280 --> 00:21:58,600 Speaker 1: apply it to like, you know, a leadership analogy or 372 00:21:58,600 --> 00:22:01,359 Speaker 1: an example. Great. I would say my suggestion would be 373 00:22:01,359 --> 00:22:05,480 Speaker 1: the John MacArthur ESV. But there's a lot of things 374 00:22:05,480 --> 00:22:08,160 Speaker 1: you could you could do. I would say that route 375 00:22:08,600 --> 00:22:12,399 Speaker 1: plus church or let me say it again, church plus 376 00:22:12,480 --> 00:22:16,320 Speaker 1: that route. And don't worry about these online Bible studies 377 00:22:16,880 --> 00:22:20,760 Speaker 1: if you have further questions. I also recommend the Bible 378 00:22:20,800 --> 00:22:24,240 Speaker 1: Project on YouTube. Did you ever watch that? So you 379 00:22:24,280 --> 00:22:28,880 Speaker 1: could google say you're reading through Joshua and you're like, man, 380 00:22:29,480 --> 00:22:32,280 Speaker 1: this chapter seven and Joshua is confusing to me, I 381 00:22:32,280 --> 00:22:36,919 Speaker 1: don't know what's going on. Then you could YouTube just 382 00:22:36,960 --> 00:22:41,640 Speaker 1: like this Joshua chapter seven the Bible Project. It literally 383 00:22:41,680 --> 00:22:45,880 Speaker 1: pulls up a cartoon drawing, not a cartoon, a drawing 384 00:22:46,920 --> 00:22:52,160 Speaker 1: laying out that portion of Joshua in a very easy 385 00:22:52,200 --> 00:22:57,320 Speaker 1: to understand way. So, yeah, anything else out of this before. 386 00:22:57,040 --> 00:22:59,720 Speaker 2: We take a break. No, I'm just encouraged that he's asking. 387 00:22:59,760 --> 00:23:03,920 Speaker 2: He's he's you put yourself around other believers, ask your pastor, 388 00:23:04,119 --> 00:23:06,199 Speaker 2: and just keep asking and you'll find something. God will 389 00:23:06,200 --> 00:23:07,840 Speaker 2: show you what works for you. 390 00:23:07,960 --> 00:23:14,000 Speaker 1: Yep, we'll take a break here. Back. A few weeks ago, 391 00:23:14,040 --> 00:23:17,720 Speaker 1: we released the EEE Apparel Fall launch and that stuff 392 00:23:17,800 --> 00:23:20,040 Speaker 1: is awesome. We have it up right now at EEE 393 00:23:20,280 --> 00:23:22,040 Speaker 1: dot com. It's some of the best stuff that we 394 00:23:22,080 --> 00:23:24,840 Speaker 1: have we have put out so far with all of 395 00:23:24,880 --> 00:23:27,920 Speaker 1: our apparel at EEE. We love it and I'm very 396 00:23:28,040 --> 00:23:29,720 Speaker 1: very excited about it, and I hope you get to 397 00:23:29,760 --> 00:23:31,880 Speaker 1: check it out and hopefully we have some of your 398 00:23:31,880 --> 00:23:34,120 Speaker 1: sizes left. And then also, if you have a copy 399 00:23:34,200 --> 00:23:36,080 Speaker 1: of Like a River and you've bought it on Amazon 400 00:23:36,480 --> 00:23:40,040 Speaker 1: or another website like Barnesannoble dot com or Walmart dot com, 401 00:23:40,359 --> 00:23:41,760 Speaker 1: you know what really helps me. I know a lot 402 00:23:41,760 --> 00:23:43,200 Speaker 1: of y'all have read the book that have listened to 403 00:23:43,280 --> 00:23:46,000 Speaker 1: this podcast. It really helps me if you review it, 404 00:23:46,400 --> 00:23:48,240 Speaker 1: if you give me five stars and review it, it 405 00:23:48,280 --> 00:23:51,160 Speaker 1: actually helps kick up that algorithm and helps it get 406 00:23:51,359 --> 00:23:53,720 Speaker 1: in front of other people that might not normally have 407 00:23:53,840 --> 00:23:56,840 Speaker 1: seen like a river. So do that for me. It 408 00:23:56,920 --> 00:24:01,160 Speaker 1: costs nothing to you and it actually really really helps me. Finally, 409 00:24:01,600 --> 00:24:02,719 Speaker 1: if you want to get a hold of me, if 410 00:24:02,760 --> 00:24:04,680 Speaker 1: you want me to send you a message, I say 411 00:24:04,680 --> 00:24:07,359 Speaker 1: this a lot. Cameo dot com slash Granger Smith. It's 412 00:24:07,400 --> 00:24:09,479 Speaker 1: a really good way to do it. Or you can 413 00:24:09,520 --> 00:24:12,359 Speaker 1: download the cameo app and search for me Granger Smith. 414 00:24:12,760 --> 00:24:15,000 Speaker 1: You ask for whatever you want me to record, and 415 00:24:15,040 --> 00:24:17,720 Speaker 1: I pull out my phone and do a video message 416 00:24:18,080 --> 00:24:22,200 Speaker 1: specifically to you or to your son, or your boyfriend 417 00:24:22,320 --> 00:24:26,320 Speaker 1: or girlfriend or daughter or whatever. It might be a 418 00:24:26,400 --> 00:24:31,359 Speaker 1: word of encouragement, happy birthday, happy anniversary, Merry Christmas. I 419 00:24:31,359 --> 00:24:32,760 Speaker 1: could do it all, and I have done it all, 420 00:24:32,800 --> 00:24:35,359 Speaker 1: and it's really easy. It's a great last minute gift 421 00:24:35,400 --> 00:24:39,080 Speaker 1: and something for someone that has everything. So Cameo dot 422 00:24:39,119 --> 00:24:47,200 Speaker 1: com slash Granger Smith. Back to the podcast, Back here 423 00:24:47,240 --> 00:24:50,080 Speaker 1: with my brother Tyler as a guest answering y'all's questions. 424 00:24:50,080 --> 00:24:52,360 Speaker 1: If you have one for me, email Grangersmith Podcast at 425 00:24:52,359 --> 00:24:58,120 Speaker 1: gmail dot com and the next question here. Subjecline says 426 00:24:58,160 --> 00:25:01,960 Speaker 1: lost job. Email says, Hey, Grange, I recently lost my 427 00:25:02,040 --> 00:25:05,000 Speaker 1: job because I made a mistake at work. I feel 428 00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:08,080 Speaker 1: like I've failed my family. I've been going to school 429 00:25:08,119 --> 00:25:11,160 Speaker 1: and working hard to try to better myself and my job. 430 00:25:12,240 --> 00:25:15,440 Speaker 1: Any advice about changing career direction, words of encouragement and 431 00:25:15,480 --> 00:25:17,960 Speaker 1: prayer would be great. I'm feeling so lost right now. 432 00:25:17,960 --> 00:25:23,760 Speaker 1: Thanks Kyle from Indiana. Okay, let me recap my brain here. Kyle, 433 00:25:25,960 --> 00:25:29,480 Speaker 1: lost your job from a mistake. I'm sorry about that, brother, 434 00:25:30,359 --> 00:25:35,040 Speaker 1: and you feel like you've failed your family. Hey man, 435 00:25:35,040 --> 00:25:39,960 Speaker 1: that's a very normal feeling. It would be weird if 436 00:25:40,000 --> 00:25:42,280 Speaker 1: you didn't feel it that right. It would be weird 437 00:25:42,320 --> 00:25:44,240 Speaker 1: if you didn't feel like you were failing your family 438 00:25:44,240 --> 00:25:47,399 Speaker 1: because you lost your job. Because a man was made 439 00:25:47,440 --> 00:25:51,919 Speaker 1: to work. Literally, that's in the Book of Genesis. The 440 00:25:52,280 --> 00:25:55,879 Speaker 1: man was made to work, and so you feel this. 441 00:25:56,400 --> 00:25:59,879 Speaker 1: There's a connection that we cannot explain in our d 442 00:26:00,080 --> 00:26:04,080 Speaker 1: in a that calls us to work, and when we 443 00:26:04,160 --> 00:26:06,960 Speaker 1: lose our job, we literally feel like we've lost part 444 00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:10,960 Speaker 1: of ourselves. And so it is totally normal that you're thinking, 445 00:26:12,480 --> 00:26:14,919 Speaker 1: why do I feel like a failure? And part of 446 00:26:14,960 --> 00:26:19,280 Speaker 1: that is you could use that feeling to drive you 447 00:26:19,359 --> 00:26:23,200 Speaker 1: into the next thing. It's funny like I tell my 448 00:26:23,280 --> 00:26:28,480 Speaker 1: kids this whenever they whenever they get nervous, Like London 449 00:26:28,520 --> 00:26:31,040 Speaker 1: has a basket or volleyball game today and when she 450 00:26:31,080 --> 00:26:35,440 Speaker 1: gets nervous, I always will say, use that that those 451 00:26:35,480 --> 00:26:38,840 Speaker 1: nerves to fuel the game that you're about to play. 452 00:26:39,040 --> 00:26:43,080 Speaker 1: It's gonna focus your eyes, it's gonna tense up your muscles, 453 00:26:43,400 --> 00:26:46,440 Speaker 1: it's gonna increase your blood flow and your oxygen because 454 00:26:46,440 --> 00:26:49,640 Speaker 1: you're breathing heavier. So use all of those natural things 455 00:26:49,640 --> 00:26:53,640 Speaker 1: that adrenaline and anxiety brings on, and then use it 456 00:26:54,160 --> 00:26:58,680 Speaker 1: to play the game better and so that this failure 457 00:26:58,720 --> 00:27:01,439 Speaker 1: that you're feeling. I say the same thing to you, Kyle. 458 00:27:02,240 --> 00:27:04,280 Speaker 1: Use that when you go to bed at night and 459 00:27:04,359 --> 00:27:08,920 Speaker 1: you go, I don't I'm not satisfied with not having 460 00:27:08,920 --> 00:27:12,199 Speaker 1: a job. I feel like I'm failing. Instead of instead 461 00:27:12,200 --> 00:27:15,600 Speaker 1: of like lying in the mud with that feeling, use 462 00:27:15,640 --> 00:27:17,200 Speaker 1: it and go, man, you know what, I'm gonna set 463 00:27:17,200 --> 00:27:20,119 Speaker 1: my alarm my alarms set for six. Almost say go 464 00:27:20,119 --> 00:27:23,000 Speaker 1: ahead and change it to five, and I'm gonna get 465 00:27:23,040 --> 00:27:25,120 Speaker 1: up because I don't like this feeling that I feel 466 00:27:25,119 --> 00:27:27,280 Speaker 1: like I'm failing my family. So I'm gonna get up 467 00:27:27,280 --> 00:27:29,880 Speaker 1: at five instead of six. I'm gonna start this new 468 00:27:29,960 --> 00:27:32,959 Speaker 1: routine of bettering myself and looking for this job. Like 469 00:27:33,000 --> 00:27:36,240 Speaker 1: you said, so use that. What do you What do 470 00:27:36,280 --> 00:27:37,160 Speaker 1: you say to Kyle Tyler? 471 00:27:38,280 --> 00:27:42,000 Speaker 2: I would tell Kyle that we've all been where you are. 472 00:27:42,480 --> 00:27:47,000 Speaker 2: It was the year twenty twenty, right, and we didn't 473 00:27:47,040 --> 00:27:50,240 Speaker 2: know what was going on. Everything shut down, touring was gone, 474 00:27:50,520 --> 00:27:55,200 Speaker 2: you know, we had to get creative to find new 475 00:27:55,240 --> 00:27:59,240 Speaker 2: ways for incoming. But to your point, it's very important, 476 00:27:59,240 --> 00:28:02,240 Speaker 2: like Granger said, to not let this become Well, I 477 00:28:02,240 --> 00:28:04,439 Speaker 2: don't have a job, so I'm going to sleep in 478 00:28:04,480 --> 00:28:07,640 Speaker 2: a little bit and maybe I'll get to it tomorrow afternoon. 479 00:28:07,680 --> 00:28:11,720 Speaker 2: You can you have to control what you can control. 480 00:28:11,960 --> 00:28:13,880 Speaker 2: You can't control that you lost your job. You made 481 00:28:13,880 --> 00:28:16,320 Speaker 2: a mistake. That's in the past. What can you can control. 482 00:28:17,320 --> 00:28:19,400 Speaker 2: You can get up early, Like Granger said, I don't 483 00:28:19,400 --> 00:28:21,680 Speaker 2: know what time you're getting up. Let's say, like he said, six, 484 00:28:21,760 --> 00:28:24,159 Speaker 2: get up at five. Be the first one up in 485 00:28:24,200 --> 00:28:26,280 Speaker 2: your household. Let your wife know and your kids know 486 00:28:26,400 --> 00:28:27,480 Speaker 2: that where's dad. 487 00:28:27,720 --> 00:28:29,040 Speaker 1: It's good, he's up. 488 00:28:29,520 --> 00:28:33,439 Speaker 2: What's he doing. They're inspired that you're getting up early, 489 00:28:33,680 --> 00:28:36,120 Speaker 2: that you have a plan. You don't have a job 490 00:28:36,200 --> 00:28:38,440 Speaker 2: right now. You know there's no income coming in, but 491 00:28:38,440 --> 00:28:40,600 Speaker 2: you've got a plan, and they're looking at you as 492 00:28:40,640 --> 00:28:43,480 Speaker 2: the leader, saying, I don't know what's going on, but 493 00:28:43,520 --> 00:28:46,880 Speaker 2: I trust dad. You know, take care of yourself, watch 494 00:28:46,880 --> 00:28:51,440 Speaker 2: your diet, don't drink alcohol, drink water, get in your bible, 495 00:28:51,640 --> 00:28:54,560 Speaker 2: read some books, and on your passions, what interests you. 496 00:28:54,600 --> 00:28:57,719 Speaker 2: It's it's hard not knowing what you like, but you know, 497 00:28:57,760 --> 00:29:00,960 Speaker 2: there's there's so many opportunities these day. Don't don't watch 498 00:29:00,960 --> 00:29:02,400 Speaker 2: the news because it's going to tell you we're in 499 00:29:02,480 --> 00:29:06,080 Speaker 2: a recession and everything's bad and everything's down. Don't listen 500 00:29:06,120 --> 00:29:10,360 Speaker 2: to that. Problems are just opportunities, and there's the best 501 00:29:10,400 --> 00:29:14,520 Speaker 2: opportunity in twenty twenty three with technology and assuming you 502 00:29:14,600 --> 00:29:17,160 Speaker 2: have a phone right at your fingertips, ma'n. So just 503 00:29:17,240 --> 00:29:21,600 Speaker 2: keep going, Yeah, what do you say about getting something? 504 00:29:21,640 --> 00:29:25,960 Speaker 2: In the meantime, taking a job that he feels like 505 00:29:26,080 --> 00:29:29,320 Speaker 2: is lesser than what he deserves. Or is qualified for 506 00:29:29,920 --> 00:29:32,120 Speaker 2: just to keep the lights on while he's looking for 507 00:29:32,160 --> 00:29:35,400 Speaker 2: something else. Yeah, again, not knowing his situation. Man, you 508 00:29:35,520 --> 00:29:38,840 Speaker 2: gotta humble yourself. And again, I think it's more important 509 00:29:38,880 --> 00:29:42,160 Speaker 2: that you're that you're showing your family that you're you're 510 00:29:42,200 --> 00:29:46,120 Speaker 2: gonna make it happen. So maybe it's mowing lawns, or 511 00:29:46,440 --> 00:29:49,440 Speaker 2: it's calling your buddy to help him do some some 512 00:29:49,600 --> 00:29:53,960 Speaker 2: drywall and some painting, you know stuff, not only not 513 00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:57,520 Speaker 2: only to get additional income. You know, granted it won't 514 00:29:57,520 --> 00:29:59,479 Speaker 2: be maybe won't be much or what you're used to, 515 00:30:00,520 --> 00:30:03,960 Speaker 2: but it's a sign of self respect. Again, it just 516 00:30:04,040 --> 00:30:06,200 Speaker 2: goes back to the integrity of getting up and taking 517 00:30:06,240 --> 00:30:09,360 Speaker 2: care of your family while on the side early in 518 00:30:09,360 --> 00:30:12,200 Speaker 2: the morning or when you get home from painting or 519 00:30:12,280 --> 00:30:16,160 Speaker 2: mowing lawns, you're working on what you're passionate about long term. 520 00:30:16,520 --> 00:30:21,880 Speaker 1: It's great. It's great. Next question, the subject line says 521 00:30:22,160 --> 00:30:25,080 Speaker 1: wanting a girlfriend but not needing one. Hey, grand dream 522 00:30:25,160 --> 00:30:28,280 Speaker 1: eighteen years old. My name is Austin. I'm from Wisconsin. 523 00:30:28,800 --> 00:30:31,720 Speaker 1: I'm listening to your old episodes and working my way 524 00:30:31,840 --> 00:30:35,280 Speaker 1: to the new ones. I really enjoy listening to them. 525 00:30:35,840 --> 00:30:37,760 Speaker 1: So side note, you might not get this for a while. 526 00:30:39,920 --> 00:30:42,160 Speaker 1: Oh okay. Then he says, I'll start listening to new 527 00:30:42,160 --> 00:30:45,040 Speaker 1: ones to hear your thoughts about my question. Here's my question. 528 00:30:45,560 --> 00:30:49,840 Speaker 1: I want a girlfriend, but I don't need one, but 529 00:30:49,880 --> 00:30:52,240 Speaker 1: I feel like everyone I know has one, and so 530 00:30:52,320 --> 00:30:54,880 Speaker 1: that makes me want one, and I'm afraid I'm never 531 00:30:54,920 --> 00:30:58,000 Speaker 1: going to get one if I don't get one soon. 532 00:30:58,240 --> 00:31:01,040 Speaker 1: That's literally what he wrote. I don't think he said 533 00:31:01,080 --> 00:31:03,680 Speaker 1: it like I said it, though, and then he says parentheses. 534 00:31:03,720 --> 00:31:06,080 Speaker 1: I don't have any female friends, so I feel like 535 00:31:07,080 --> 00:31:09,400 Speaker 1: if I ever talk to a girl, I'm gonna be scared. 536 00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:14,960 Speaker 1: What are your thoughts. I've been leading all these answers. 537 00:31:14,960 --> 00:31:18,640 Speaker 1: I'm gonna let you lead this one. Tyler, eighteen years old, Austin. 538 00:31:18,880 --> 00:31:22,280 Speaker 2: Okay, well, I'll start with the scared thing. He doesn't 539 00:31:22,280 --> 00:31:25,920 Speaker 2: have any girl friends, so he's scared. So if you 540 00:31:25,960 --> 00:31:30,080 Speaker 2: do want a girlfriend, my recommendation. That's helped me a lot, 541 00:31:30,240 --> 00:31:32,400 Speaker 2: and it's just going to help you and everybody listening 542 00:31:32,440 --> 00:31:37,000 Speaker 2: in general. Just you know, human communication is. I don't 543 00:31:37,040 --> 00:31:40,520 Speaker 2: care if you are not interested in a girl. Say 544 00:31:40,560 --> 00:31:44,400 Speaker 2: you're checking out at the grocery store, or you're pumping 545 00:31:44,480 --> 00:31:48,000 Speaker 2: gas or you're walking into the gas station and you 546 00:31:48,080 --> 00:31:51,320 Speaker 2: open the door for somebody. Just get good at talking 547 00:31:51,360 --> 00:31:54,040 Speaker 2: to people, specifically in this case, get good at talking 548 00:31:54,080 --> 00:31:57,120 Speaker 2: to girls. And again, I don't care if they're eighteen 549 00:31:57,200 --> 00:32:01,880 Speaker 2: and super beautiful or if they're the mid thirties, if 550 00:32:01,920 --> 00:32:04,680 Speaker 2: they're with somebody, if they're not, just be nice, open 551 00:32:04,760 --> 00:32:08,040 Speaker 2: up to them. If you're checking out, talk to the person, 552 00:32:08,160 --> 00:32:11,720 Speaker 2: say hey, how's your day. Just generic stuff and get 553 00:32:11,840 --> 00:32:17,120 Speaker 2: used to talking to the opposite sex and you'll get 554 00:32:17,120 --> 00:32:19,680 Speaker 2: good at it. And then when you do see that 555 00:32:19,960 --> 00:32:22,600 Speaker 2: eighteen year old girl that you think is beautiful, it's 556 00:32:22,640 --> 00:32:24,320 Speaker 2: gonna be a promise. It's gonna be a lot easier 557 00:32:24,360 --> 00:32:25,600 Speaker 2: to go up and talk to her because you do 558 00:32:25,640 --> 00:32:26,200 Speaker 2: it all the time. 559 00:32:28,560 --> 00:32:33,320 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's great. I want to say that you're also 560 00:32:33,440 --> 00:32:38,000 Speaker 1: eighteen and you're not in any position right now that 561 00:32:38,120 --> 00:32:41,520 Speaker 1: where you need to settle down or have a girlfriend, 562 00:32:42,320 --> 00:32:45,000 Speaker 1: even though the world tells you that you do. The 563 00:32:45,040 --> 00:32:48,720 Speaker 1: world's gonna be like Austin, You're everyone has a girlfriend. 564 00:32:48,720 --> 00:32:51,600 Speaker 1: You should try it. It's awesome. Look at Instagram. Everyone's 565 00:32:51,640 --> 00:32:53,760 Speaker 1: got one, all your friends have one. You're the only 566 00:32:53,800 --> 00:32:57,760 Speaker 1: one that doesn't. It's just not true. In fact, I 567 00:32:57,760 --> 00:33:01,080 Speaker 1: don't have one, Yeah, Tyler doesn't. The guys that are 568 00:33:01,560 --> 00:33:06,600 Speaker 1: getting girlfriends earlier and getting serious earlier and then marrying 569 00:33:06,720 --> 00:33:09,080 Speaker 1: just because that's the thing to do, are then going 570 00:33:09,160 --> 00:33:12,120 Speaker 1: to go through this round of divorces and then you're 571 00:33:12,120 --> 00:33:14,200 Speaker 1: gonna still be single at twenty four when the first 572 00:33:14,280 --> 00:33:17,760 Speaker 1: rounds of divorce start, and you're gonna be like, wow, 573 00:33:17,840 --> 00:33:21,000 Speaker 1: that's what I was missing out on. That's not worth it. 574 00:33:21,680 --> 00:33:27,880 Speaker 1: So Austin from Wisconsin man I said that I have 575 00:33:27,960 --> 00:33:32,000 Speaker 1: said this for so many episodes, for so many years 576 00:33:32,000 --> 00:33:36,280 Speaker 1: on this podcast, that there is just there is no 577 00:33:36,680 --> 00:33:42,240 Speaker 1: need to have a significant other just because it feels 578 00:33:42,280 --> 00:33:45,840 Speaker 1: like you should. Now the feeling of that you should, 579 00:33:45,880 --> 00:33:49,080 Speaker 1: that's normal. That's like, you know, that's in you. You're 580 00:33:49,080 --> 00:33:53,200 Speaker 1: gonna want to procreate and have a family. That's in you. 581 00:33:53,200 --> 00:33:56,800 Speaker 1: Your purpose in a way, not everybody's, but in a 582 00:33:56,840 --> 00:34:02,080 Speaker 1: way that's that's why you're creative, to populate the earth, 583 00:34:02,120 --> 00:34:04,600 Speaker 1: and so that's all that feeling is. But it doesn't 584 00:34:04,680 --> 00:34:08,080 Speaker 1: mean you have to go find somebody right now. So 585 00:34:08,200 --> 00:34:11,360 Speaker 1: just understand that you have a natural desire to be 586 00:34:11,480 --> 00:34:15,719 Speaker 1: with somebody because you see everyone else, But don't let 587 00:34:15,800 --> 00:34:19,560 Speaker 1: that drive you to the wrong person. Man, I think 588 00:34:19,600 --> 00:34:21,520 Speaker 1: and this is I've also said this on the podcast 589 00:34:21,600 --> 00:34:24,600 Speaker 1: many times, that feeling that you're like, man, I'm kind 590 00:34:24,640 --> 00:34:27,080 Speaker 1: of scared to talk to a girl. I think that's 591 00:34:27,440 --> 00:34:31,280 Speaker 1: that girls like that. You know what girls usually don't 592 00:34:31,360 --> 00:34:33,640 Speaker 1: like is guys that are over confident, like, man, I'm 593 00:34:33,680 --> 00:34:35,520 Speaker 1: so good with girls. I could talk to any girl 594 00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:37,319 Speaker 1: just just you know. 595 00:34:37,680 --> 00:34:39,640 Speaker 2: They like that if you talk to them, but if 596 00:34:39,640 --> 00:34:42,000 Speaker 2: you don't say anything true, they would never know. 597 00:34:42,560 --> 00:34:45,200 Speaker 1: So my point is, Austin, you could use that. You 598 00:34:45,239 --> 00:34:49,960 Speaker 1: could say I'd love to take you out to coffee, 599 00:34:50,080 --> 00:34:54,800 Speaker 1: and I'll be honest with you. I get nervous around 600 00:34:54,840 --> 00:34:58,920 Speaker 1: pretty girls like you, and so please don't judge me 601 00:34:58,960 --> 00:35:02,280 Speaker 1: if I'm if I fumble a few words or Yeah, 602 00:35:02,320 --> 00:35:03,960 Speaker 1: the fact that if he gets that far and he 603 00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:06,640 Speaker 1: actually says that, that's a win. That's a win win, 604 00:35:07,400 --> 00:35:10,960 Speaker 1: and she'll respect that, she'll love that. If she says no, 605 00:35:11,200 --> 00:35:12,160 Speaker 1: just move on to the next. 606 00:35:12,280 --> 00:35:15,640 Speaker 2: Yeah. The last thing I'll say with that is to 607 00:35:15,680 --> 00:35:18,120 Speaker 2: your point, it's like, yeah, don't get a girlfriend just 608 00:35:18,160 --> 00:35:21,800 Speaker 2: to get a girlfriend. You need to date with intention. 609 00:35:22,480 --> 00:35:25,840 Speaker 2: And my belief is that you need a date for 610 00:35:25,920 --> 00:35:30,920 Speaker 2: the end goal. Of marriage, and when you're eighteen, assuming 611 00:35:30,960 --> 00:35:33,520 Speaker 2: you're probably not ready for marriage yet, you probably just 612 00:35:33,520 --> 00:35:35,239 Speaker 2: want a girlfriend because your buddy's got one and you 613 00:35:35,239 --> 00:35:39,520 Speaker 2: want to hook up. All we've all been there. Work 614 00:35:39,560 --> 00:35:42,640 Speaker 2: on you, work on maybe you're in school. Work on 615 00:35:42,680 --> 00:35:44,920 Speaker 2: your school, get better grades. Work on your craft and 616 00:35:45,040 --> 00:35:48,960 Speaker 2: work on your job. Work on yourself. Yeah, that's awesome. 617 00:35:51,200 --> 00:35:53,600 Speaker 2: All right, man, we're doing good. We're rolling through this break. 618 00:35:56,480 --> 00:36:01,000 Speaker 1: Question. That's the subject line. It says question, and the 619 00:36:01,040 --> 00:36:04,200 Speaker 1: email says, dear Granger, I need your advice on something important. 620 00:36:04,239 --> 00:36:06,680 Speaker 1: I was nine years old when my parents got divorced. 621 00:36:07,080 --> 00:36:09,920 Speaker 1: I'm fifteen right now. For the past six years, I 622 00:36:09,960 --> 00:36:13,160 Speaker 1: feel like life is throwing all it can at me, 623 00:36:13,880 --> 00:36:17,280 Speaker 1: that God is giving me too much to handle lowercase 624 00:36:17,320 --> 00:36:20,600 Speaker 1: G God. First I lost my mom to the divorce. 625 00:36:20,960 --> 00:36:24,959 Speaker 1: Then my stepmother treats me poorly. I moved schools last year. 626 00:36:25,080 --> 00:36:28,759 Speaker 1: I lost a lot of friends. Thankfully, I've gained a 627 00:36:28,760 --> 00:36:31,879 Speaker 1: couple in their place. And now I've been kicked out 628 00:36:32,080 --> 00:36:35,560 Speaker 1: and moved in with my grandmother. My dad never calls me. 629 00:36:35,960 --> 00:36:38,399 Speaker 1: My four siblings have nothing to do with me. I'm 630 00:36:38,400 --> 00:36:41,040 Speaker 1: the oldest, and I feel tired all the time. I 631 00:36:41,080 --> 00:36:45,359 Speaker 1: don't eat, I have no motivation to go on. I 632 00:36:45,480 --> 00:36:47,600 Speaker 1: just want to make things right with my family. But 633 00:36:47,640 --> 00:36:53,120 Speaker 1: I don't know how can you help me, possibly, Jenna. 634 00:36:53,360 --> 00:36:56,719 Speaker 1: You know, sometimes we get these we get the question 635 00:36:56,800 --> 00:37:00,600 Speaker 1: we just had where it's like, yeah, you're fine, everything's good, 636 00:37:00,640 --> 00:37:02,680 Speaker 1: you don't need a girl, and then you get Jenna 637 00:37:03,600 --> 00:37:08,880 Speaker 1: who's fifteen, and I just say, man, Joe, I'm so sorry. 638 00:37:09,040 --> 00:37:13,720 Speaker 1: It's not supposed to be like this, reading an email 639 00:37:13,920 --> 00:37:18,680 Speaker 1: like this, Man, I just want to I want to 640 00:37:18,840 --> 00:37:23,200 Speaker 1: tell you that what you're feeling is Man, that sounds 641 00:37:23,239 --> 00:37:29,240 Speaker 1: totally normal for you to feel with no more motivation, tired, 642 00:37:30,480 --> 00:37:35,600 Speaker 1: don't want to eat. I'm not gonna say stuck it up, Jenna. 643 00:37:36,120 --> 00:37:40,000 Speaker 1: You know, get motivated because you've got a lot going on, 644 00:37:40,680 --> 00:37:43,200 Speaker 1: especially for fifteen. You have a lot going on for 645 00:37:43,480 --> 00:37:48,439 Speaker 1: a twenty year old, but you're fifteen, and so what's 646 00:37:48,440 --> 00:37:53,040 Speaker 1: the difference. Well, the difference is at fifteen, you should 647 00:37:53,800 --> 00:37:58,160 Speaker 1: still be under the authority, living under the authority of 648 00:37:58,200 --> 00:38:02,400 Speaker 1: an adult. Not because you're not because you're not capable, 649 00:38:03,120 --> 00:38:06,640 Speaker 1: but but that's just really that's the cycle of life 650 00:38:06,800 --> 00:38:14,760 Speaker 1: is is you should be in in all normal circumstances, 651 00:38:15,000 --> 00:38:18,239 Speaker 1: under the under the authority of an adult, and so 652 00:38:18,440 --> 00:38:24,000 Speaker 1: hopefully your grandmother is your is that for you, even 653 00:38:24,040 --> 00:38:29,239 Speaker 1: it doesn't feel like it. And so here there's so 654 00:38:29,360 --> 00:38:31,520 Speaker 1: there's a lot of ways to go about this, and 655 00:38:31,560 --> 00:38:35,319 Speaker 1: it's sensitive because you're fifteen and if you're a if 656 00:38:35,320 --> 00:38:39,640 Speaker 1: you're a boy, I could probably answer easier. But I've 657 00:38:39,680 --> 00:38:42,480 Speaker 1: never been a fifteen year old girl, Jenna, so I 658 00:38:42,520 --> 00:38:46,880 Speaker 1: can't and I cannot relate. But I could say this, 659 00:38:48,360 --> 00:38:55,680 Speaker 1: you're in desperate need of community, which you could find 660 00:38:55,680 --> 00:39:01,319 Speaker 1: at school or church. And some times, if you don't 661 00:39:01,320 --> 00:39:04,040 Speaker 1: feel like you have community at school or church, then 662 00:39:04,120 --> 00:39:07,479 Speaker 1: it's time to lean in to what you like to do. 663 00:39:08,000 --> 00:39:11,680 Speaker 1: So I would I would search your heart and go, okay, 664 00:39:12,000 --> 00:39:18,600 Speaker 1: what do I like? Well I like chess? Okay, well 665 00:39:18,640 --> 00:39:22,239 Speaker 1: there's probably a chess team, okay, And so that that's 666 00:39:22,280 --> 00:39:26,439 Speaker 1: a way to find a community quickly, is to lean 667 00:39:26,480 --> 00:39:29,160 Speaker 1: into I mean, if you like Fortnite, like whatever it is, 668 00:39:30,120 --> 00:39:35,480 Speaker 1: find a community that you could associate with. And then 669 00:39:35,520 --> 00:39:38,200 Speaker 1: on top of that, before I let Tyler handle this, 670 00:39:39,480 --> 00:39:43,080 Speaker 1: on top of that, I want to add, if you 671 00:39:44,840 --> 00:39:48,880 Speaker 1: start doing the right things, and this is what the 672 00:39:48,920 --> 00:39:52,359 Speaker 1: authority of an adult would need to tell you. If 673 00:39:52,360 --> 00:39:55,200 Speaker 1: you're living under the roof of a mom and dad, 674 00:39:55,560 --> 00:39:57,160 Speaker 1: then this is what we hope they would teach you. 675 00:39:58,480 --> 00:40:00,839 Speaker 1: And it's this is gonna sound crazy, but I'm I'm 676 00:40:00,840 --> 00:40:04,239 Speaker 1: gonna try to explain it the best I can. In 677 00:40:04,320 --> 00:40:09,000 Speaker 1: everything that you do all throughout your day, from when 678 00:40:09,040 --> 00:40:10,719 Speaker 1: you wake up to when you go to sleep, you're 679 00:40:11,080 --> 00:40:14,920 Speaker 1: gonna have a lot of decisions to make. A lot 680 00:40:14,960 --> 00:40:18,640 Speaker 1: of them are immoral or excuse me, non moral decisions 681 00:40:18,680 --> 00:40:21,960 Speaker 1: like are you gonna eat pancakes or a muffin? That 682 00:40:22,120 --> 00:40:26,040 Speaker 1: is a non moral decision, so whatever. But what you 683 00:40:26,120 --> 00:40:31,279 Speaker 1: can do even with those decisions is make try your 684 00:40:31,320 --> 00:40:36,000 Speaker 1: best to make a right choice in each of those decisions. 685 00:40:37,840 --> 00:40:40,880 Speaker 1: For instance, let's just throw this out there. For instance, 686 00:40:40,960 --> 00:40:44,080 Speaker 1: you're gonna look at breakfast in terms of how do 687 00:40:44,160 --> 00:40:46,359 Speaker 1: you make a right or wrong decision with breakfast? Well, 688 00:40:47,400 --> 00:40:50,000 Speaker 1: you could make a rider wrong decision by how well 689 00:40:50,040 --> 00:40:52,879 Speaker 1: does that food fuel you during the day if you're 690 00:40:52,920 --> 00:40:56,600 Speaker 1: tired or you're not sleeping, Right, what kind of food 691 00:40:56,840 --> 00:40:59,759 Speaker 1: for breakfast? Would it be a muffin or would it 692 00:40:59,800 --> 00:41:04,160 Speaker 1: be oatmeal or fruit? You know, what's the better fuel 693 00:41:04,200 --> 00:41:06,840 Speaker 1: for my day? So you make that decision to go 694 00:41:06,880 --> 00:41:09,680 Speaker 1: to oatmeal instead of the muffin. And then the next 695 00:41:09,719 --> 00:41:15,239 Speaker 1: decision you have to make is is do I do 696 00:41:15,320 --> 00:41:19,040 Speaker 1: I talk to this do I'm just trying to think 697 00:41:19,040 --> 00:41:22,920 Speaker 1: of another immoral decision. Do I talk to this friend 698 00:41:23,239 --> 00:41:25,279 Speaker 1: and go and be late to class? Or do I 699 00:41:25,320 --> 00:41:28,080 Speaker 1: cut the conversation short and be late. So you make 700 00:41:28,120 --> 00:41:30,600 Speaker 1: the first decision right for oatmeal, and then you make 701 00:41:30,600 --> 00:41:33,160 Speaker 1: the second decision, and then you mess that decision up 702 00:41:33,960 --> 00:41:36,239 Speaker 1: because now you're late to class. But then you make 703 00:41:36,280 --> 00:41:40,440 Speaker 1: another decision that's right, and you continue all throughout your 704 00:41:40,520 --> 00:41:44,960 Speaker 1: day trying to consciously make a right decision, and you 705 00:41:45,000 --> 00:41:46,640 Speaker 1: will mess up a few of those, like you might 706 00:41:46,760 --> 00:41:49,120 Speaker 1: choose a muffin or you might be late to class. 707 00:41:49,200 --> 00:41:52,839 Speaker 1: But the more right decisions you make, you'll notice that 708 00:41:52,880 --> 00:41:57,360 Speaker 1: your days start to make sense. They start to all 709 00:41:57,360 --> 00:41:59,720 Speaker 1: of a sudden, now they have meaning, and you're starting 710 00:41:59,719 --> 00:42:05,200 Speaker 1: to have have an appropriate amount of control over what's 711 00:42:05,239 --> 00:42:10,080 Speaker 1: happening in your day, because, like Tyler said earlier, you 712 00:42:10,160 --> 00:42:12,279 Speaker 1: have to control what you can control, and you've got 713 00:42:12,320 --> 00:42:14,719 Speaker 1: a lot in your life that's out of control. It's 714 00:42:14,800 --> 00:42:17,800 Speaker 1: wild right now. A lot of your dad didn't call you, 715 00:42:17,800 --> 00:42:19,839 Speaker 1: You're you know You've got all kinds of things that 716 00:42:19,960 --> 00:42:22,600 Speaker 1: you say God is throwing at you. You can't control 717 00:42:22,640 --> 00:42:25,080 Speaker 1: all of that, but you could, Okay, what time do 718 00:42:25,120 --> 00:42:27,400 Speaker 1: you go to bed? You know, like, are you gonna 719 00:42:27,400 --> 00:42:31,480 Speaker 1: be flipping through Instagram at ten thirty? Are you gonna say, 720 00:42:31,480 --> 00:42:33,839 Speaker 1: I'm gonna make the decision to put my phone down, 721 00:42:33,840 --> 00:42:36,000 Speaker 1: I'm gonna try to get I'm gonna try to make 722 00:42:36,040 --> 00:42:39,960 Speaker 1: my room dark about nine thirty and put screens away. 723 00:42:40,680 --> 00:42:43,160 Speaker 1: And if I can make my room darker and maybe 724 00:42:43,239 --> 00:42:45,000 Speaker 1: try to read a book so that it makes me tired, 725 00:42:45,200 --> 00:42:47,880 Speaker 1: I get a better night's sleep. It's amazing what just 726 00:42:47,960 --> 00:42:50,279 Speaker 1: a good night's sleep will do for the next day. 727 00:42:51,840 --> 00:42:54,480 Speaker 1: These you're gonna have thousands of these kind of decisions 728 00:42:54,640 --> 00:42:58,680 Speaker 1: that you can control as opposed to all the ones 729 00:42:59,000 --> 00:43:04,480 Speaker 1: that you can't. What you got Teller, Yeah. 730 00:43:04,320 --> 00:43:06,520 Speaker 2: I would just I would just add to that that, 731 00:43:07,280 --> 00:43:11,200 Speaker 2: like you said, community, church or school, being around good people, 732 00:43:11,239 --> 00:43:15,480 Speaker 2: good friends, taking care of yourself, nutrition, getting a better 733 00:43:15,480 --> 00:43:19,600 Speaker 2: early exercise, controlling what you can control. And third, I 734 00:43:19,600 --> 00:43:23,920 Speaker 2: would say, just focus on gratefulness. Again. It's kind of 735 00:43:23,960 --> 00:43:28,439 Speaker 2: one of those secret keys to life, you know, it's 736 00:43:28,520 --> 00:43:30,359 Speaker 2: and it's so tough to be like, what do I have? 737 00:43:30,760 --> 00:43:32,279 Speaker 1: What did you just. 738 00:43:32,239 --> 00:43:33,680 Speaker 2: Read my email? What are you talking about? 739 00:43:33,719 --> 00:43:34,719 Speaker 1: What do I have to be grateful for? 740 00:43:34,840 --> 00:43:38,520 Speaker 2: Well, it sounds like you got a grandma that's taking 741 00:43:38,560 --> 00:43:41,799 Speaker 2: care of you. And I'm talking the little things I'm 742 00:43:41,800 --> 00:43:46,720 Speaker 2: talking about. You're not in the streets. Did you sleep 743 00:43:46,719 --> 00:43:48,640 Speaker 2: in a bed last night? Did you have a roof 744 00:43:48,680 --> 00:43:51,399 Speaker 2: over your head? And again, I know these things are tough, 745 00:43:51,440 --> 00:43:54,560 Speaker 2: but if you can just focus and switch that that 746 00:43:54,719 --> 00:43:59,320 Speaker 2: mind frame to gratefulness first thing in the morning and 747 00:43:59,360 --> 00:44:00,840 Speaker 2: last thing when you go to bed and throughout the 748 00:44:00,920 --> 00:44:03,000 Speaker 2: day that you got a grandma that loves you, in 749 00:44:03,000 --> 00:44:05,400 Speaker 2: a roof over your head, and hopefully food that she 750 00:44:05,480 --> 00:44:08,479 Speaker 2: has in the cabinets. And then and then the last 751 00:44:08,520 --> 00:44:11,799 Speaker 2: thing is you don't have to continue that pattern in 752 00:44:11,840 --> 00:44:13,640 Speaker 2: your family. You can be the first one in your 753 00:44:13,640 --> 00:44:17,000 Speaker 2: family that says, hey, it stops with me. I'm going 754 00:44:17,040 --> 00:44:19,640 Speaker 2: to have a healthy relationship, you know, God willing and 755 00:44:19,680 --> 00:44:24,240 Speaker 2: a family and not divorce. And I have the ability 756 00:44:24,280 --> 00:44:24,800 Speaker 2: to change. 757 00:44:25,120 --> 00:44:30,680 Speaker 1: So we have gratefulness. We have controlling the controllables, making 758 00:44:30,719 --> 00:44:33,759 Speaker 1: the little decisions throughout the day consciously You're not going 759 00:44:33,840 --> 00:44:36,719 Speaker 1: to make them all right, but consciously make little decisions 760 00:44:36,719 --> 00:44:41,040 Speaker 1: that you can control, and then I would challenge you, Jenna. 761 00:44:41,560 --> 00:44:45,279 Speaker 1: I'm going to challenge you on something, and I don't 762 00:44:45,280 --> 00:44:46,759 Speaker 1: know if you'll take me up on this, but I 763 00:44:46,800 --> 00:44:49,560 Speaker 1: promise you if you do, I promise it will have 764 00:44:49,600 --> 00:44:53,600 Speaker 1: a positive impact immediately on your life. And that is 765 00:44:53,680 --> 00:44:57,560 Speaker 1: for you to do completely away with social media, delete 766 00:44:57,600 --> 00:45:01,200 Speaker 1: it all. You're in a position right now when you 767 00:45:01,239 --> 00:45:03,719 Speaker 1: need to be as healthy as you can mentally, and 768 00:45:03,800 --> 00:45:09,000 Speaker 1: it's proven fact that social media is disruptive to your 769 00:45:09,040 --> 00:45:12,720 Speaker 1: well being, and with you going through everything you're going through, 770 00:45:12,880 --> 00:45:15,960 Speaker 1: this is not the time, especially for a fifteen year 771 00:45:15,960 --> 00:45:18,600 Speaker 1: old girl, This is not the time to deal with 772 00:45:18,640 --> 00:45:22,080 Speaker 1: it a comparison game with other people. With everything you 773 00:45:22,080 --> 00:45:24,160 Speaker 1: have going on, the weight of the world on your shoulders, 774 00:45:24,920 --> 00:45:27,520 Speaker 1: you would be doing yourself such a huge favor to 775 00:45:27,680 --> 00:45:34,319 Speaker 1: delete social media completely, stay off of it. You'll be 776 00:45:34,360 --> 00:45:41,080 Speaker 1: so much better. Rethink that's tough. He thinks you do it. 777 00:45:42,680 --> 00:45:45,160 Speaker 2: I don't think so if I'm being honest, because I mean, 778 00:45:45,239 --> 00:45:47,960 Speaker 2: can you do it? Can I do it? It's I 779 00:45:48,000 --> 00:45:50,840 Speaker 2: agree with everything you're saying. I think the first step 780 00:45:50,840 --> 00:45:54,080 Speaker 2: in that is do not look at your phone first 781 00:45:54,080 --> 00:45:56,560 Speaker 2: thing in the morning and don't look at it thirty 782 00:45:56,560 --> 00:45:58,640 Speaker 2: minutes before you go to bed, like, well. 783 00:45:58,600 --> 00:46:01,000 Speaker 1: Dude, let me just say this. My kids will not 784 00:46:01,040 --> 00:46:05,760 Speaker 1: be on social media at fifteen. They won't. We've already 785 00:46:05,760 --> 00:46:08,879 Speaker 1: talked about it. We've already made their own accounts. Yeah, 786 00:46:08,920 --> 00:46:12,960 Speaker 1: they won't have they won't have Instagram, Facebook, TikTok. They won't. 787 00:46:13,080 --> 00:46:16,120 Speaker 1: They won't. And Amber and I are going to actually 788 00:46:16,120 --> 00:46:19,160 Speaker 1: pay them money when they're eighteen. We haven't decided how 789 00:46:19,239 --> 00:46:21,680 Speaker 1: much yet, but we're gonna come up with an amount 790 00:46:21,719 --> 00:46:23,359 Speaker 1: of money that we're going to actually pay. 791 00:46:23,480 --> 00:46:25,640 Speaker 2: I completely agree with that. I think that's great. 792 00:46:25,880 --> 00:46:30,239 Speaker 1: So when we say, Jenna, I'm not saying I'm not 793 00:46:30,320 --> 00:46:32,359 Speaker 1: asking to do something that I wouldn't ask my own 794 00:46:32,440 --> 00:46:36,080 Speaker 1: kids to do. Jenna. That's that's my point. Get off 795 00:46:36,120 --> 00:46:38,759 Speaker 1: of all of it, delete it all. You laying in 796 00:46:38,800 --> 00:46:44,239 Speaker 1: bed at ten forty five eleven PM, heartbroken, feeling like 797 00:46:44,320 --> 00:46:47,680 Speaker 1: your dad needing attention that your dad's not giving you, 798 00:46:48,200 --> 00:46:51,759 Speaker 1: and instead you're laying on Instagram thumbing through. Oh that 799 00:46:51,880 --> 00:46:59,400 Speaker 1: is damaging. Yeah yeah, and with that, that's where we're 800 00:46:59,400 --> 00:47:03,359 Speaker 1: going to end this. Yeah, Tyler, dude, thank you so much. 801 00:47:04,600 --> 00:47:09,759 Speaker 1: Your advice is amazing and the way that you could 802 00:47:09,760 --> 00:47:14,080 Speaker 1: think through things with such a calm manner. I think 803 00:47:14,120 --> 00:47:17,200 Speaker 1: everyone probably felt that on this episode. So appreciate you 804 00:47:17,280 --> 00:47:21,320 Speaker 1: man and all you guys. Will see you next Monday. 805 00:47:21,040 --> 00:47:24,280 Speaker 1: You guys, thanks for joining me on the Granger Smith Podcast. 806 00:47:24,360 --> 00:47:26,799 Speaker 1: I appreciate all of you guys. You could help me 807 00:47:26,840 --> 00:47:30,440 Speaker 1: out by rating this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube, 808 00:47:30,680 --> 00:47:33,920 Speaker 1: subscribe to this channel. Hit that little like button and 809 00:47:34,040 --> 00:47:37,760 Speaker 1: notification spell so that you never miss anytime I upload 810 00:47:38,080 --> 00:47:40,279 Speaker 1: a video. If you have a question for me that 811 00:47:40,280 --> 00:47:44,319 Speaker 1: you would like me to answer, email Grangersmith Podcast at 812 00:47:44,360 --> 00:47:46,840 Speaker 1: gmail dot com. Yi