WEBVTT - I Choose...To Do My Best with Busy Philipps 0:00:01.639 --> 0:00:09.320 You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Garth. Hey, everyone, 0:00:09.480 --> 0:00:13.080 welcome to I Choose Me. This podcast is all about 0:00:13.080 --> 0:00:15.720 the choices we make and where they lead us. So 0:00:15.840 --> 0:00:21.280 my guest today is brave and bold. She is unapologetically 0:00:21.440 --> 0:00:25.079 who she is. Not to mention, she's spunky, which is 0:00:25.239 --> 0:00:28.200 my favorite kind of lady. You know her from roles 0:00:28.280 --> 0:00:32.120 in Freaks and Geeks Dawson's Creek, I Feel Pretty. I 0:00:32.159 --> 0:00:36.640 happen to love her in Cougartown opposite Courtney Cox. Her 0:00:36.680 --> 0:00:40.560 show Busy this Week on QVC Plus is so fun. 0:00:40.680 --> 0:00:42.920 I know because I was just on it. She is 0:00:42.960 --> 0:00:45.959 also the co host of her own podcast, Busy Phillips 0:00:46.040 --> 0:00:50.280 is doing her best. Please welcome Busy Phillips to the podcast. Okay, 0:00:50.360 --> 0:00:52.320 I am so happy to have you on the podcast. 0:00:53.280 --> 0:00:54.320 This is really fun. 0:00:54.520 --> 0:00:57.280 We've spent some time together now, I know, yes, because 0:00:57.360 --> 0:00:59.000 I was just on your show. 0:00:59.080 --> 0:01:00.400 Yeah. It was a blast. 0:01:00.480 --> 0:01:01.240 Thank you so much. 0:01:01.320 --> 0:01:03.160 And I got to know so much about you, which 0:01:03.200 --> 0:01:03.600 is crazy. 0:01:03.640 --> 0:01:05.200 We have so much in common, which is crazy. 0:01:05.840 --> 0:01:08.480 Much like it keeps happening and we talk more about it. 0:01:08.720 --> 0:01:10.720 I did more than I mean I knew. 0:01:11.319 --> 0:01:13.959 I knew you were from Arizona because I remember being 0:01:14.400 --> 0:01:17.240 a kid wanting to be an actor and knowing that 0:01:17.319 --> 0:01:19.679 you were from Arizona, like you and David Spade. That 0:01:19.840 --> 0:01:23.399 was that was like the two people on television from 0:01:23.400 --> 0:01:27.520 where I'm from is yeah, ten then David's Paige. 0:01:27.360 --> 0:01:29.759 And look, and then you ended up in Hollywood. Yeah, 0:01:30.080 --> 0:01:30.800 out of Arizona. 0:01:30.880 --> 0:01:33.040 There must be something in the water. There's definitely something 0:01:33.040 --> 0:01:34.800 in the water. I think it's the proximity. 0:01:34.800 --> 0:01:38.720 I'm not even kidding, Like I feel like, I don't 0:01:38.720 --> 0:01:40.800 know if you've I feel felt like Phoenix was like 0:01:40.840 --> 0:01:43.720 a suburb of Los Angeles kind of in a weird way. 0:01:43.800 --> 0:01:47.440 Yeah, you can get there close. Yes, there's no traffic 0:01:47.440 --> 0:01:48.040 on that highway. 0:01:48.280 --> 0:01:51.640 No, there's not. Well now they're probably the desert. Well yeah, yeah, 0:01:51.640 --> 0:01:52.680 you just do it, you just fly. 0:01:53.160 --> 0:01:55.400 I loved it. Well, I love being there, and I 0:01:55.440 --> 0:01:58.920 loved living in the desert. There's something so settling and 0:01:58.960 --> 0:02:00.440 grounding about the desert for me. 0:02:00.600 --> 0:02:02.080 Yeah, me too. 0:02:02.600 --> 0:02:06.240 I'm Casey who's my producer on the talk show says 0:02:06.280 --> 0:02:09.000 that I'm like a heat seeking lizard because I will 0:02:09.040 --> 0:02:12.160 like lay down on hot rocks. We're so good, I know, 0:02:12.280 --> 0:02:14.680 but it's so funny. It's like, I don't know, I 0:02:14.760 --> 0:02:16.400 just I missed the heat and I miss the warm. 0:02:16.520 --> 0:02:17.600 Do you get back there? Do you go? 0:02:18.320 --> 0:02:19.800 No, I haven't been in a while. 0:02:20.000 --> 0:02:21.320 You don't have family there or anything. 0:02:21.360 --> 0:02:24.040 I have a brother half brother there, but I haven't 0:02:24.040 --> 0:02:25.680 seen him in so long. Yeah. 0:02:26.200 --> 0:02:28.200 Kind of a great place to vacation. I'm not gonna lie. 0:02:28.480 --> 0:02:29.320 And you were just there. 0:02:29.480 --> 0:02:33.440 Yeah, you gotta go hiking there too. So lovely. Yeah, Okay, 0:02:33.440 --> 0:02:36.760 you're just out there. You're challenging the norms. You are 0:02:37.560 --> 0:02:41.840 sharing deeply personal stories and things that have happened to you, 0:02:41.840 --> 0:02:44.399 and you're standing up for what's right. I'm curious, were 0:02:44.440 --> 0:02:47.920 you always, even as a kid, someone who wasn't afraid 0:02:48.000 --> 0:02:51.120 to use her voice or did that come to you 0:02:51.200 --> 0:02:54.560 later in life because you're so outspoken. Yeah, that's one 0:02:54.600 --> 0:02:56.280 of the things that I really admire about you. 0:02:56.320 --> 0:02:57.400 Thanks so much. Yeah. 0:02:57.520 --> 0:03:01.760 I mean, I think that speaking out about issues that 0:03:01.800 --> 0:03:05.240 are important to me was always something that was valued 0:03:05.280 --> 0:03:08.400 in my household and something that I saw my mom 0:03:08.480 --> 0:03:11.640 doing and being very vocal about things that she was 0:03:11.680 --> 0:03:16.880 passionate about, and and especially values like you know, the 0:03:16.919 --> 0:03:21.560 things equality and and especially because you know, I grew 0:03:21.600 --> 0:03:25.480 up in the like nineties, like gay marriage, like even 0:03:25.520 --> 0:03:27.520 you know back then, like you know, my mom say 0:03:27.800 --> 0:03:32.280 you know, and being very vocal about that kind of stuff. 0:03:32.360 --> 0:03:33.800 I don't know, And so then I think it was 0:03:33.880 --> 0:03:36.800 just yeah, I was always sort of out there. But 0:03:36.840 --> 0:03:39.680 then you go to Hollywood and you want to fit, 0:03:39.840 --> 0:03:42.080 you want to get jobs. You're a woman, you want 0:03:42.080 --> 0:03:44.760 to end, you want to yeah, you're a young woman, 0:03:45.480 --> 0:03:49.000 and you really quickly learn that the way that you're 0:03:49.000 --> 0:03:52.400 going to continue working is to be a good little 0:03:52.440 --> 0:03:54.600 girls to be is to shut up and hit your 0:03:54.600 --> 0:03:58.080 mark and say your lines and like. And I was 0:03:58.160 --> 0:04:00.240 also able to do that part of it, you know, 0:04:00.280 --> 0:04:05.000 I was like because I wanted the jobs so bad. 0:04:05.120 --> 0:04:07.240 I wanted to do this thing that was my dream 0:04:07.280 --> 0:04:09.080 that I had loved doing since I was a little 0:04:09.160 --> 0:04:11.080 kid and had envisioned. 0:04:10.600 --> 0:04:11.200 For my life. 0:04:11.800 --> 0:04:17.960 So I was very much able to let that side 0:04:18.000 --> 0:04:20.240 of myself in those early years in the business when 0:04:20.279 --> 0:04:22.320 I was a kid and you have no power and 0:04:22.360 --> 0:04:25.040 you know that you're it's very clear that you're expendable 0:04:26.160 --> 0:04:27.960 to just like fall in line and not really make 0:04:28.000 --> 0:04:32.359 too much noise because you know, as an young woman 0:04:32.440 --> 0:04:33.919 in the nineties, late and. 0:04:34.040 --> 0:04:35.839 I was like started my first. 0:04:35.680 --> 0:04:39.880 TV show was ninety nine, so like yeah, early two 0:04:39.880 --> 0:04:42.280 thousand and then through the early two thousands. You know, 0:04:42.320 --> 0:04:45.080 there was the rough time to be a young woman 0:04:45.160 --> 0:04:46.480 in the entertainment industry. 0:04:46.640 --> 0:04:48.680 Yeah, we were talking about that on your show. Actually, 0:04:49.200 --> 0:04:53.359 how it's a miracle that we've survived and you know 0:04:53.480 --> 0:04:56.680 made it this far because there was so many weird 0:04:56.760 --> 0:05:00.640 messages and there there was really nobody out there watching 0:05:00.760 --> 0:05:01.400 out for us. 0:05:01.400 --> 0:05:04.640 Oh and it was so ingrained in the culture too. 0:05:04.960 --> 0:05:08.039 You know, you had like I don't know, even legitimate 0:05:08.279 --> 0:05:11.839 at the time, like legitimate journalists like Matt Lauer like yeah, 0:05:11.960 --> 0:05:14.880 asking Britney Spears if she's a virgin, you know what 0:05:14.960 --> 0:05:17.880 I mean, And like it's like Britney Spears is seventeen 0:05:18.000 --> 0:05:18.400 years old? 0:05:18.560 --> 0:05:20.840 Sor what are you do? You know what I mean? Like, 0:05:21.279 --> 0:05:24.080 and we culturally were all just like okay, yeah, like 0:05:24.279 --> 0:05:26.440 let's this is the way that it goes. 0:05:26.520 --> 0:05:28.760 Yeah, anything went yeah, celebrity. 0:05:28.839 --> 0:05:31.240 And you remember like it was like the height of 0:05:32.000 --> 0:05:34.320 Maxim Stuff magazine and like. 0:05:34.720 --> 0:05:37.200 All of the like gear or whatever. 0:05:37.279 --> 0:05:40.080 I don't even know what all the dude magazines were, 0:05:40.120 --> 0:05:44.839 but I remember having this conversation with first my publicist, 0:05:45.400 --> 0:05:48.640 and then I had like a general meeting at a 0:05:48.760 --> 0:05:54.120 big studio for movies and being told like, well, you know, 0:05:54.480 --> 0:05:58.360 all the executives get the Maxim Hot one hundred and 0:05:58.440 --> 0:06:01.359 they and they, you know, put post it notes on 0:06:01.400 --> 0:06:03.520 the girls that they want to see in movies. So 0:06:03.760 --> 0:06:06.520 if you're not doing Maxim, you know, your chances of 0:06:06.560 --> 0:06:08.520 doing movies is like plummets. 0:06:08.800 --> 0:06:09.800 And so yeah, I did. 0:06:09.839 --> 0:06:12.240 I put on a bikini and like crawled around on 0:06:12.279 --> 0:06:14.080 a like on a steer. 0:06:15.120 --> 0:06:15.520 I was. 0:06:15.760 --> 0:06:20.599 Yeah, I was in Maximum Stuff magazine. Plainboy, No, you 0:06:20.640 --> 0:06:22.200 no any of them. 0:06:22.680 --> 0:06:24.320 I'm too Midwestern. 0:06:25.279 --> 0:06:27.280 Well that's what they love, honey. I don't need to 0:06:27.320 --> 0:06:27.800 tell you that. 0:06:28.000 --> 0:06:29.760 I don't even put you in some pigtails and some 0:06:29.800 --> 0:06:34.240 hay and we're good to go. No, But I just yeah, 0:06:34.240 --> 0:06:36.520 I was like twenty two, I think, and I was 0:06:36.520 --> 0:06:39.279 on Dawson's Creek at the time, and I remember feeling 0:06:39.320 --> 0:06:42.040 like also by the way, I was so not empowered 0:06:42.080 --> 0:06:44.080 in my own sexuality. It wasn't like a thing that 0:06:44.120 --> 0:06:47.360 I was doing like in a way that was empowering 0:06:47.440 --> 0:06:47.680 to me. 0:06:47.800 --> 0:06:50.719 In some way, you were just doing what was expected. 0:06:51.000 --> 0:06:52.719 I was doing what I was being told was going 0:06:52.800 --> 0:06:55.880 to help me get jobs, and like, that's a bummer. 0:06:56.040 --> 0:06:58.320 That was a real bo. That's a bummer in retrospect. 0:06:58.320 --> 0:07:01.480 And sometimes you know, the autograph guys will still. 0:07:01.560 --> 0:07:04.839 Show you those pictures, ask me to sign those pictures 0:07:04.839 --> 0:07:05.480 they bring to you. 0:07:05.760 --> 0:07:06.039 Yeah. 0:07:06.120 --> 0:07:09.520 I had one photo shoot where I am like dressed 0:07:09.720 --> 0:07:12.600 and all greased up and like, look, my hair's wet. 0:07:12.640 --> 0:07:15.960 It's very sexualized. And that's the one I always see, 0:07:16.040 --> 0:07:18.520 of course, and it's so I mean, to this day, 0:07:18.560 --> 0:07:21.800 I'm like, guys, come on, it's been twenty years, get 0:07:21.840 --> 0:07:23.560 over it, Like we can't. We gotta find and we 0:07:23.600 --> 0:07:25.160 gotta find a more recent pick. 0:07:25.320 --> 0:07:29.040 Oh my god, Okay, I'm I am too a straight shooter. 0:07:29.320 --> 0:07:29.720 Yeah. 0:07:30.240 --> 0:07:33.880 Do you find that you have been celebrated for being 0:07:34.400 --> 0:07:38.520 forthright or do you see it as even today? Is 0:07:38.560 --> 0:07:41.840 it something that makes things more difficult for you? 0:07:41.880 --> 0:07:43.800 I think we have to hold both. I think that 0:07:43.880 --> 0:07:46.880 both things are true. I think I am celebrated by 0:07:46.920 --> 0:07:49.680 some and I think that it makes things more difficult 0:07:49.760 --> 0:07:53.440 in other ways and makes me not appealing to some people. 0:07:54.480 --> 0:07:55.200 Absolutely. 0:07:55.440 --> 0:07:59.680 Yeah, So I'm not surprised, Like if there are people 0:07:59.720 --> 0:08:02.840 that don't want to work with me for that reason. 0:08:03.760 --> 0:08:06.880 I mean, I don't know, I've never gotten that particular feedback, 0:08:06.920 --> 0:08:11.320 but I can imagine that maybe there are. But that's okay, 0:08:11.440 --> 0:08:14.120 because I guess I wouldn't really that wouldn't it be 0:08:14.160 --> 0:08:16.440 a choice I would want to make anyway at this point? 0:08:16.520 --> 0:08:20.000 Yeah, you know what you're worth is you know? Yeah? 0:08:20.040 --> 0:08:22.240 I love that. A lot of people's a lot of 0:08:22.240 --> 0:08:24.600 women struggle with that, I think, and I think that 0:08:24.720 --> 0:08:27.040 we're often seen as difficult. 0:08:27.440 --> 0:08:32.160 Oh right, well, did you have the moments like I mean? 0:08:32.200 --> 0:08:36.040 I think for me it was my late thirties where 0:08:36.120 --> 0:08:38.959 it was like a scene in Memento where all of 0:08:39.000 --> 0:08:40.880 a sudden, I was thinking about all the actresses that 0:08:40.880 --> 0:08:43.560 I had heard stories about how difficult they were over 0:08:43.600 --> 0:08:45.079 the years, and then I was. 0:08:45.080 --> 0:08:47.439 Like, oh, they were. 0:08:48.840 --> 0:08:54.640 Difficult, so they were just voicing what they needed. 0:08:54.880 --> 0:08:56.640 They just had an opinion. 0:08:56.920 --> 0:09:00.679 It was so hard back then to stand up. And 0:09:00.720 --> 0:09:03.680 I know for me, Shannon Doherty was one. She blazed 0:09:03.679 --> 0:09:05.960 the trail for me, and she showed me how it 0:09:06.000 --> 0:09:08.800 was okay to stand up for what you wanted and 0:09:08.920 --> 0:09:11.280 say no to what you didn't want. And I learned 0:09:11.280 --> 0:09:14.640 that from her, And it was that moment where you're like, oh, 0:09:14.920 --> 0:09:17.480 she's not difficult. No, that's how they wanted me to 0:09:17.480 --> 0:09:18.040 see it. 0:09:17.960 --> 0:09:21.400 Right, Oh she's hard to work with. Oh she's hard 0:09:21.400 --> 0:09:23.400 to work with? Or is she telling you exactly a 0:09:23.440 --> 0:09:27.000 way she needs and what she requires in order for 0:09:27.040 --> 0:09:30.080 her to do her job. But when a man does it, 0:09:30.120 --> 0:09:32.000 of course, or a boy like. 0:09:31.960 --> 0:09:35.440 A boy like sat yeah, you never see men having 0:09:35.480 --> 0:09:39.600 to justify them, like speaking their mind, speaking their truth. 0:09:40.200 --> 0:09:41.160 But that's what we have to do. 0:09:41.280 --> 0:09:41.560 It is. 0:09:42.040 --> 0:09:45.560 It's not fair, but so is life. 0:09:45.720 --> 0:09:48.920 I mean honestly, yeah, I think it is, but I 0:09:48.920 --> 0:09:50.360 think it's better for our girls. 0:09:50.720 --> 0:09:52.880 Oh little bit, you know what it's so. I've found 0:09:52.880 --> 0:09:54.920 it so interesting that you were saying your mom inspired 0:09:54.960 --> 0:09:57.880 you to be to you know, stand up for things 0:09:57.920 --> 0:10:00.839 and speak, speak your mind, and you're doing the same 0:10:00.880 --> 0:10:05.360 thing magnified even multiplied for your daughters. And can you 0:10:05.400 --> 0:10:07.480 see how strong they are because of that? 0:10:07.800 --> 0:10:09.480 So strong, so strong. 0:10:09.800 --> 0:10:12.120 And a lot of times I feel like people ask 0:10:12.440 --> 0:10:14.360 like I get like, you know, parenting questions or whatever 0:10:14.400 --> 0:10:18.560 when I do interviews, and I always default to I 0:10:18.559 --> 0:10:23.240 don't think you have to do anything except lead by example. 0:10:23.480 --> 0:10:25.440 They're always watching you from the time when they're like 0:10:25.480 --> 0:10:28.280 baby baby babies. The way that you speak to people 0:10:28.320 --> 0:10:31.400 in public, the manners you have are the manners they're 0:10:31.440 --> 0:10:31.880 going to have. 0:10:32.200 --> 0:10:33.800 You want your kids to say please and thank you. 0:10:33.840 --> 0:10:35.559 Guess what you got to say? You have to be 0:10:35.640 --> 0:10:37.120 a person that says please and thank you. 0:10:38.160 --> 0:10:41.400 Like it's just we think that we can tell our 0:10:41.480 --> 0:10:44.320 kids what to be, but the truth is they're going 0:10:44.360 --> 0:10:46.520 to They're going to watch us and learn how to 0:10:46.520 --> 0:10:47.280 move through the world. 0:10:47.480 --> 0:10:50.720 Yeah, but I also, like my early twenty year old, 0:10:51.559 --> 0:10:54.280 I think even my older twenties, she's in twenty seven 0:10:54.320 --> 0:10:57.560 right now, I find that it's hard for them to 0:10:57.679 --> 0:11:02.240 stand up and be her. Yeah, and that sometimes you know, 0:11:02.360 --> 0:11:04.920 sometimes and I or they'll come to me and talk 0:11:04.960 --> 0:11:06.760 about it or talk about it to other people in 0:11:06.800 --> 0:11:11.120 the moment, they don't feel comfortable standing up for themselves. 0:11:11.320 --> 0:11:15.320 And it's so preconditioned in our culture. Yeah. 0:11:15.520 --> 0:11:19.199 Yeah, it's like systemic. I mean, it's really just crazy. 0:11:19.600 --> 0:11:23.240 It's crazy that we're just still like like trying to 0:11:23.240 --> 0:11:25.160 bang down these doors. 0:11:25.280 --> 0:11:28.200 And I'm always encouraging them to. I know it's. 0:11:28.040 --> 0:11:29.920 Scary, yeah, but you've got. 0:11:29.800 --> 0:11:32.679 To do it because nobody's going to stand up for you. Correct. 0:11:33.000 --> 0:11:35.920 Yeah, I know, I know, and I think you know, 0:11:35.960 --> 0:11:38.079 the more girls that get that message and the more 0:11:38.120 --> 0:11:39.760 they continue to do it. 0:11:41.040 --> 0:11:43.640 You know, we're going to have to just keep going. 0:11:43.720 --> 0:11:49.160 We just have to keep going, push forward, we keep pushing. 0:11:47.760 --> 0:11:50.640 For I want to talk to you about ADHD because 0:11:50.760 --> 0:11:53.760 now I'm so curious. Okay, you've talked about that. You 0:11:53.840 --> 0:11:58.079 were recently in recent years diagnosed with ADHD later in life. 0:11:58.440 --> 0:12:00.240 That's happening to a lot of women. 0:12:00.440 --> 0:12:00.720 Yeah. 0:12:00.800 --> 0:12:03.600 I recently had a conversation with Holly Madison and her 0:12:03.760 --> 0:12:07.600 autism went undiagnosed until later in her life. She was like, 0:12:07.679 --> 0:12:09.280 it explained so much for me. 0:12:09.400 --> 0:12:12.400 Yeah, will you look back at the totality of your 0:12:12.440 --> 0:12:16.000 life and you're like, oh, oh oh, maybe I wasn't 0:12:16.160 --> 0:12:21.080 an airhead, Maybe I wasn't terrible in school, Maybe my 0:12:21.160 --> 0:12:24.640 brain just worked differently. No one was really identifying it 0:12:24.679 --> 0:12:30.480 because as women as girls, ADHD really presented differently than 0:12:30.520 --> 0:12:33.160 it presented in boys and like, as we know, the 0:12:33.520 --> 0:12:39.000 medical bias in terms of men versus women like is 0:12:39.120 --> 0:12:42.720 just it's through your roof for everything, for everything. There's 0:12:42.760 --> 0:12:47.120 just not as much research done. They really like focus 0:12:47.400 --> 0:12:51.280 on the experience of men and men's health because we 0:12:51.360 --> 0:12:52.040 live in this like. 0:12:52.080 --> 0:12:54.520 They put us in the same category. We're just not. 0:12:54.960 --> 0:12:55.839 But it just to be that way. 0:12:55.920 --> 0:12:58.000 It just doesn't. It doesn't try. It's not a one 0:12:58.000 --> 0:12:58.400 for one. 0:12:58.880 --> 0:13:01.920 And so for a lot of men and girls, ADHD 0:13:02.559 --> 0:13:07.280 presented less like that hyperactive little boy running around, can't 0:13:07.280 --> 0:13:10.800 stay in the seat thing and more sort of internalized, 0:13:11.240 --> 0:13:15.079 like the chaos was inside. And then I mean I 0:13:15.120 --> 0:13:17.920 always think about this, like men and boys really do 0:13:18.040 --> 0:13:23.160 seem to go outward with their stuff, right, like their trauma. 0:13:23.559 --> 0:13:25.560 They like, fight, they. 0:13:25.240 --> 0:13:26.520 Punch, they get great. 0:13:26.600 --> 0:13:29.760 You know, women do tend a lot of times to 0:13:29.800 --> 0:13:33.160 really go inward on them, in on themselves and feel 0:13:33.240 --> 0:13:36.280 terrible about themselves. And so yeah, like my low self esteem, 0:13:36.320 --> 0:13:39.080 low grit because I I just was like, I know, 0:13:39.480 --> 0:13:41.760 I am not keeping these things straight. I was always 0:13:41.800 --> 0:13:46.080 feeling bad about myself. And my older daughter was having 0:13:46.160 --> 0:13:49.280 just some like learning stuff at school or just you know, 0:13:49.640 --> 0:13:53.320 the teachers had suggested maybe we get her evaluated for 0:13:53.480 --> 0:13:57.680 some learning differences. And as the doctor was going through 0:13:57.679 --> 0:14:00.760 the checklist, I was like, I have every single one 0:14:00.800 --> 0:14:03.560 of these things that this guy is saying. And afterwards, 0:14:03.600 --> 0:14:07.680 my Bertie's dad, my now ex husband. 0:14:07.960 --> 0:14:09.520 Was like, that's you. 0:14:09.679 --> 0:14:10.880 I was like, it is me. 0:14:11.640 --> 0:14:13.440 And so I went to the doctor and you had 0:14:13.600 --> 0:14:15.400 got your own appointment. Yeah, I got my own appointment. 0:14:15.400 --> 0:14:17.200 I went to another DIY. I went to an adult 0:14:17.240 --> 0:14:20.440 doctor and he was like, oh, yeah, you have add 0:14:22.440 --> 0:14:24.360 And I started talking about it on the podcast, and 0:14:24.400 --> 0:14:26.400 the more I started talking about it, the more women 0:14:26.960 --> 0:14:30.520 would reach out and just like, I can't I have 0:14:30.600 --> 0:14:33.880 the exact same story. It wasn't until my twelve year 0:14:33.880 --> 0:14:37.320 old was being diagnosed that I realized it. My whole 0:14:37.360 --> 0:14:39.800 life has a different perspective. 0:14:40.800 --> 0:14:43.040 You know. I was sort of always. 0:14:42.720 --> 0:14:45.920 Feeling like I couldn't get it together, there was something 0:14:45.960 --> 0:14:51.720 wrong with me, And now I feel such Oh, I 0:14:51.760 --> 0:14:57.200 feel so much more generous towards myself and my younger son. 0:14:57.240 --> 0:14:59.280 I know you feel bad that, Yeah, I kind of 0:14:59.320 --> 0:15:02.200 robbed your young the little busy inside of you. 0:15:02.400 --> 0:15:05.120 Yes, because I feel like I was really hard on her. 0:15:05.440 --> 0:15:06.560 Always hard on yourself. 0:15:06.640 --> 0:15:10.040 Yeah, And I just like I would hate that for 0:15:10.120 --> 0:15:10.800 my own daughter. 0:15:11.560 --> 0:15:14.120 You know, you've really paved the way for a lot 0:15:14.160 --> 0:15:18.400 of women by opening up that conversation. Because I after 0:15:18.520 --> 0:15:21.280 just talking with you this afternoon, I'm good. I want 0:15:21.280 --> 0:15:25.480 to go get tested. How do I So it's just testing, Like, well, 0:15:25.520 --> 0:15:26.800 there's like verbal testing or. 0:15:26.840 --> 0:15:27.800 Is there blood testing? 0:15:27.840 --> 0:15:29.880 No, No, they're not blood tests, but they but they'll 0:15:29.880 --> 0:15:32.080 like ask you a series of questions and stuff, and like, 0:15:32.440 --> 0:15:36.080 you know, there's Look, we're all in a time where 0:15:36.360 --> 0:15:37.520 there's a lot going. 0:15:37.320 --> 0:15:39.479 On, Jenny, there's a lot on our minds. 0:15:39.200 --> 0:15:40.760 You know what I mean, and like and so I 0:15:40.800 --> 0:15:44.160 think and not only that, we're in a very particular 0:15:44.200 --> 0:15:48.640 time in history where like we're getting so inundated with 0:15:48.720 --> 0:15:52.160 information at a level that no one has ever in 0:15:52.280 --> 0:15:55.880 history been inundated with before. So you know, I think 0:15:55.920 --> 0:15:59.120 that there's a lot of things at play. But I 0:15:59.200 --> 0:16:04.080 do know that they're many, many women, you know, like 0:16:04.160 --> 0:16:11.400 older millennials, young jen z and who are really finding 0:16:11.400 --> 0:16:14.720 this like late in life diagnosis to be incredibly helpful 0:16:15.360 --> 0:16:18.200 and you know, finding ways of managing it better. 0:16:19.560 --> 0:16:23.640 I mean, you've enlightened me. And I appreciate that because 0:16:23.680 --> 0:16:25.840 I you know, I told you before, I bounce from 0:16:25.880 --> 0:16:28.280 thing to thing all day long. Yeah, and I don't 0:16:28.320 --> 0:16:30.880 finish projects. Yeah, it takes me like weeks and weeks 0:16:30.920 --> 0:16:32.360 to finish something, and I leave it in the middle 0:16:32.360 --> 0:16:34.560 of the living room floor. Ye, walk around it. 0:16:34.920 --> 0:16:38.960 One thing for me is just like getting I take medication, 0:16:39.280 --> 0:16:43.440 and taking the right medication really helps me to focus. 0:16:43.480 --> 0:16:46.720 And what's interesting when you say like the tasks, I'm 0:16:46.800 --> 0:16:49.720 able to sort of prioritize tasks in a way that 0:16:50.280 --> 0:16:52.440 literally never in my life when I'm when I'm taking 0:16:52.440 --> 0:16:55.040 my medication, Like, never in my life have I been 0:16:55.040 --> 0:16:56.920 able to do this. And all of a sudden, I'm like, oh, 0:16:56.920 --> 0:16:58.840 I know exactly what I have to do, and I'm 0:16:58.840 --> 0:17:01.280 going to finish this, put it away, and it's no 0:17:01.360 --> 0:17:04.199 more like piles on the bottom of the stairs, like 0:17:04.359 --> 0:17:05.960 so many piles. 0:17:06.520 --> 0:17:09.720 The piles. Yeah, the piles were a joke in my home. 0:17:16.440 --> 0:17:19.440 You said, you take medication. Do you mind sharing what 0:17:19.480 --> 0:17:20.280 it is that you'll take? 0:17:20.400 --> 0:17:22.600 Yes, I and I work well, so now then I 0:17:22.760 --> 0:17:25.240 like they reached out and I work with a drug 0:17:25.280 --> 0:17:27.760 company now, which is amazing. Yes, I mean this is 0:17:27.800 --> 0:17:31.680 also guys. I mean, let's just be real. We got 0:17:31.680 --> 0:17:33.480 to diversify, you know what I mean, and at this 0:17:33.520 --> 0:17:35.840 point in our lives. But it really did work out. 0:17:35.920 --> 0:17:38.439 I was like, oh my gosh, this is amazing. So 0:17:38.480 --> 0:17:41.439 it's this medication called Calbery, which is non stimulant. It's 0:17:41.480 --> 0:17:45.600 a non stimulant ADHD medication. There are several different types, 0:17:45.640 --> 0:17:49.960 and I just think people need to, you know, obviously 0:17:50.000 --> 0:17:52.359 talk to their own doctors. I'm not a doctor, but 0:17:52.440 --> 0:17:55.600 for me, the non stimulant is better because I already 0:17:55.920 --> 0:17:59.080 have been a person my entire life who has issues 0:17:59.359 --> 0:18:03.800 winding down, sleeping and getting your brain off, shutting my 0:18:03.880 --> 0:18:04.280 brain off. 0:18:04.359 --> 0:18:06.560 Yeah, I don't want anything that's going to take me. 0:18:06.560 --> 0:18:10.879 Up exactly exactly except like a little bit the stimulant 0:18:10.920 --> 0:18:14.240 sort of, I guess the ideas with ADHD it sort 0:18:14.240 --> 0:18:15.119 of counteracts it. 0:18:15.200 --> 0:18:16.880 I think that's what they say. 0:18:16.960 --> 0:18:18.119 Yeah, it's confusing. 0:18:18.400 --> 0:18:20.560 Yeah, you just have to really, but you do have 0:18:20.640 --> 0:18:22.840 to try like different, You just have to you have 0:18:22.880 --> 0:18:25.639 to see what works and like yeah, and be open 0:18:25.680 --> 0:18:27.879 to the process and that like it might not be 0:18:28.000 --> 0:18:30.680 the first thing that you try that makes a difference, 0:18:30.760 --> 0:18:33.520 but they know you'll get there the right thing. You'll know, yes, 0:18:33.560 --> 0:18:35.400 when you get there, you get there. Yeah, I think 0:18:35.400 --> 0:18:36.520 with anything, right. 0:18:36.560 --> 0:18:40.119 Yeah, you have to experience things in order to know, yeah, 0:18:40.160 --> 0:18:42.880 and to learn what doesn't work for you. Yeah. You 0:18:43.000 --> 0:18:46.000 recently posted a video on Instagram that really got to me. 0:18:46.840 --> 0:18:49.440 It stuck with me. It was so honest and relatable. 0:18:49.480 --> 0:18:53.440 You talked about having a weird day and feeling down 0:18:53.880 --> 0:18:57.120 on yourself and how when you opened up to your 0:18:57.119 --> 0:18:59.960 friend you found out that they feel the same way, 0:19:00.600 --> 0:19:04.040 like they're having those days too. Yeah. I absolutely know 0:19:04.080 --> 0:19:07.240 how negative talk can't affect my mental health. It can 0:19:07.240 --> 0:19:08.639 put me in a bad mood. It can kind of 0:19:08.680 --> 0:19:13.400 derail my day sometimes, and I'm most of the time 0:19:13.400 --> 0:19:17.000 my own worst enemy. Yeah, and I think it's really interesting, 0:19:17.080 --> 0:19:20.720 like how do you turn that car around for yourself? 0:19:21.040 --> 0:19:22.680 Well, it's funny. Look. 0:19:23.680 --> 0:19:25.720 Yeah, I posted this video because I just felt like 0:19:26.040 --> 0:19:28.480 sometimes I have these moments, especially on social media, where 0:19:28.520 --> 0:19:30.920