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Speaker 1: You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Garth. Hey, everyone,

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Speaker 1: welcome to I Choose Me. This podcast is all about

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Speaker 1: the choices we make and where they lead us. So

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Speaker 1: my guest today is brave and bold. She is unapologetically

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Speaker 1: who she is. Not to mention, she's spunky, which is

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Speaker 1: my favorite kind of lady. You know her from roles

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Speaker 1: in Freaks and Geeks Dawson's Creek, I Feel Pretty. I

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Speaker 1: happen to love her in Cougartown opposite Courtney Cox. Her

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Speaker 1: show Busy this Week on QVC Plus is so fun.

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Speaker 1: I know because I was just on it. She is

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Speaker 1: also the co host of her own podcast, Busy Phillips

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Speaker 1: is doing her best. Please welcome Busy Phillips to the podcast. Okay,

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Speaker 1: I am so happy to have you on the podcast.

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Speaker 1: This is really fun.

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Speaker 2: We've spent some time together now, I know, yes, because

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Speaker 2: I was just on your show.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. It was a blast.

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Speaker 2: Thank you so much.

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Speaker 1: And I got to know so much about you, which

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Speaker 1: is crazy.

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Speaker 2: We have so much in common, which is crazy.

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Speaker 1: Much like it keeps happening and we talk more about it.

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Speaker 2: I did more than I mean I knew.

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Speaker 3: I knew you were from Arizona because I remember being

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Speaker 3: a kid wanting to be an actor and knowing that

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Speaker 3: you were from Arizona, like you and David Spade. That

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Speaker 3: was that was like the two people on television from

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Speaker 3: where I'm from is yeah, ten then David's Paige.

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Speaker 1: And look, and then you ended up in Hollywood. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: out of Arizona.

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Speaker 2: There must be something in the water. There's definitely something

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Speaker 2: in the water. I think it's the proximity.

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Speaker 3: I'm not even kidding, Like I feel like, I don't

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Speaker 3: know if you've I feel felt like Phoenix was like

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Speaker 3: a suburb of Los Angeles kind of in a weird way.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you can get there close. Yes, there's no traffic

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Speaker 1: on that highway.

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Speaker 2: No, there's not. Well now they're probably the desert. Well yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 2: you just do it, you just fly.

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Speaker 1: I loved it. Well, I love being there, and I

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Speaker 1: loved living in the desert. There's something so settling and

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Speaker 1: grounding about the desert for me.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, me too.

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Speaker 3: I'm Casey who's my producer on the talk show says

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Speaker 3: that I'm like a heat seeking lizard because I will

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Speaker 3: like lay down on hot rocks. We're so good, I know,

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Speaker 3: but it's so funny. It's like, I don't know, I

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Speaker 3: just I missed the heat and I miss the warm.

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Speaker 2: Do you get back there? Do you go?

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Speaker 1: No, I haven't been in a while.

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Speaker 2: You don't have family there or anything.

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Speaker 1: I have a brother half brother there, but I haven't

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Speaker 1: seen him in so long. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Kind of a great place to vacation. I'm not gonna lie.

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Speaker 2: And you were just there.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you gotta go hiking there too. So lovely. Yeah, Okay,

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Speaker 1: you're just out there. You're challenging the norms. You are

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Speaker 1: sharing deeply personal stories and things that have happened to you,

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Speaker 1: and you're standing up for what's right. I'm curious, were

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Speaker 1: you always, even as a kid, someone who wasn't afraid

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Speaker 1: to use her voice or did that come to you

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Speaker 1: later in life because you're so outspoken. Yeah, that's one

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Speaker 1: of the things that I really admire about you.

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Speaker 2: Thanks so much. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I mean, I think that speaking out about issues that

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Speaker 3: are important to me was always something that was valued

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Speaker 3: in my household and something that I saw my mom

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Speaker 3: doing and being very vocal about things that she was

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Speaker 3: passionate about, and and especially values like you know, the

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Speaker 3: things equality and and especially because you know, I grew

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Speaker 3: up in the like nineties, like gay marriage, like even

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Speaker 3: you know back then, like you know, my mom say

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Speaker 3: you know, and being very vocal about that kind of stuff.

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Speaker 3: I don't know, And so then I think it was

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Speaker 3: just yeah, I was always sort of out there. But

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Speaker 3: then you go to Hollywood and you want to fit,

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Speaker 3: you want to get jobs. You're a woman, you want

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Speaker 3: to end, you want to yeah, you're a young woman,

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Speaker 3: and you really quickly learn that the way that you're

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Speaker 3: going to continue working is to be a good little

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Speaker 3: girls to be is to shut up and hit your

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Speaker 3: mark and say your lines and like. And I was

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Speaker 3: also able to do that part of it, you know,

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Speaker 3: I was like because I wanted the jobs so bad.

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Speaker 3: I wanted to do this thing that was my dream

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Speaker 3: that I had loved doing since I was a little

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Speaker 3: kid and had envisioned.

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Speaker 2: For my life.

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Speaker 3: So I was very much able to let that side

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Speaker 3: of myself in those early years in the business when

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Speaker 3: I was a kid and you have no power and

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Speaker 3: you know that you're it's very clear that you're expendable

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Speaker 3: to just like fall in line and not really make

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Speaker 3: too much noise because you know, as an young woman

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Speaker 3: in the nineties, late and.

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Speaker 2: I was like started my first.

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Speaker 3: TV show was ninety nine, so like yeah, early two

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Speaker 3: thousand and then through the early two thousands. You know,

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Speaker 3: there was the rough time to be a young woman

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Speaker 3: in the entertainment industry.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, we were talking about that on your show. Actually,

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Speaker 1: how it's a miracle that we've survived and you know

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Speaker 1: made it this far because there was so many weird

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Speaker 1: messages and there there was really nobody out there watching

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Speaker 1: out for us.

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Speaker 3: Oh and it was so ingrained in the culture too.

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Speaker 3: You know, you had like I don't know, even legitimate

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Speaker 3: at the time, like legitimate journalists like Matt Lauer like yeah,

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Speaker 3: asking Britney Spears if she's a virgin, you know what

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Speaker 3: I mean, And like it's like Britney Spears is seventeen

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Speaker 3: years old?

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Speaker 2: Sor what are you do? You know what I mean? Like,

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Speaker 2: and we culturally were all just like okay, yeah, like

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Speaker 2: let's this is the way that it goes.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, anything went yeah, celebrity.

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Speaker 3: And you remember like it was like the height of

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Speaker 3: Maxim Stuff magazine and like.

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Speaker 2: All of the like gear or whatever.

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Speaker 3: I don't even know what all the dude magazines were,

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Speaker 3: but I remember having this conversation with first my publicist,

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Speaker 3: and then I had like a general meeting at a

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Speaker 3: big studio for movies and being told like, well, you know,

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Speaker 3: all the executives get the Maxim Hot one hundred and

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Speaker 3: they and they, you know, put post it notes on

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Speaker 3: the girls that they want to see in movies. So

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Speaker 3: if you're not doing Maxim, you know, your chances of

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Speaker 3: doing movies is like plummets.

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Speaker 2: And so yeah, I did.

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Speaker 3: I put on a bikini and like crawled around on

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Speaker 3: a like on a steer.

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Speaker 4: I was.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I was in Maximum Stuff magazine. Plainboy, No, you

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Speaker 3: no any of them.

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Speaker 1: I'm too Midwestern.

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Speaker 2: Well that's what they love, honey. I don't need to

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Speaker 2: tell you that.

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Speaker 3: I don't even put you in some pigtails and some

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Speaker 3: hay and we're good to go. No, But I just yeah,

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Speaker 3: I was like twenty two, I think, and I was

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Speaker 3: on Dawson's Creek at the time, and I remember feeling

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Speaker 3: like also by the way, I was so not empowered

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Speaker 3: in my own sexuality. It wasn't like a thing that

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Speaker 3: I was doing like in a way that was empowering

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Speaker 3: to me.

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Speaker 1: In some way, you were just doing what was expected.

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Speaker 3: I was doing what I was being told was going

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Speaker 3: to help me get jobs, and like, that's a bummer.

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Speaker 3: That was a real bo. That's a bummer in retrospect.

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Speaker 3: And sometimes you know, the autograph guys will still.

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Speaker 1: Show you those pictures, ask me to sign those pictures

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Speaker 1: they bring to you.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I had one photo shoot where I am like dressed

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Speaker 1: and all greased up and like, look, my hair's wet.

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Speaker 2: It's very sexualized. And that's the one I always see,

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Speaker 2: of course, and it's so I mean, to this day,

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Speaker 2: I'm like, guys, come on, it's been twenty years, get

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Speaker 2: over it, Like we can't. We gotta find and we

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Speaker 2: gotta find a more recent pick.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, Okay, I'm I am too a straight shooter.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Do you find that you have been celebrated for being

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Speaker 1: forthright or do you see it as even today? Is

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Speaker 1: it something that makes things more difficult for you?

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Speaker 3: I think we have to hold both. I think that

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Speaker 3: both things are true. I think I am celebrated by

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Speaker 3: some and I think that it makes things more difficult

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Speaker 3: in other ways and makes me not appealing to some people.

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Speaker 1: Absolutely.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, So I'm not surprised, Like if there are people

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Speaker 3: that don't want to work with me for that reason.

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Speaker 3: I mean, I don't know, I've never gotten that particular feedback,

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Speaker 3: but I can imagine that maybe there are. But that's okay,

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Speaker 3: because I guess I wouldn't really that wouldn't it be

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Speaker 3: a choice I would want to make anyway at this point?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you know what you're worth is you know? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: I love that. A lot of people's a lot of

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Speaker 1: women struggle with that, I think, and I think that

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Speaker 1: we're often seen as difficult.

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Speaker 2: Oh right, well, did you have the moments like I mean?

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Speaker 3: I think for me it was my late thirties where

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Speaker 3: it was like a scene in Memento where all of

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Speaker 3: a sudden, I was thinking about all the actresses that

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Speaker 3: I had heard stories about how difficult they were over

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Speaker 3: the years, and then I was.

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Speaker 2: Like, oh, they were.

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Speaker 3: Difficult, so they were just voicing what they needed.

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Speaker 2: They just had an opinion.

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Speaker 1: It was so hard back then to stand up. And

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Speaker 1: I know for me, Shannon Doherty was one. She blazed

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Speaker 1: the trail for me, and she showed me how it

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Speaker 1: was okay to stand up for what you wanted and

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Speaker 1: say no to what you didn't want. And I learned

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Speaker 1: that from her, And it was that moment where you're like, oh,

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Speaker 1: she's not difficult. No, that's how they wanted me to

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Speaker 1: see it.

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Speaker 3: Right, Oh she's hard to work with. Oh she's hard

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Speaker 3: to work with? Or is she telling you exactly a

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Speaker 3: way she needs and what she requires in order for

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Speaker 3: her to do her job. But when a man does it,

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Speaker 3: of course, or a boy like.

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Speaker 1: A boy like sat yeah, you never see men having

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Speaker 1: to justify them, like speaking their mind, speaking their truth.

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Speaker 1: But that's what we have to do.

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Speaker 2: It is.

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Speaker 1: It's not fair, but so is life.

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Speaker 3: I mean honestly, yeah, I think it is, but I

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Speaker 3: think it's better for our girls.

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Speaker 1: Oh little bit, you know what it's so. I've found

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Speaker 1: it so interesting that you were saying your mom inspired

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Speaker 1: you to be to you know, stand up for things

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Speaker 1: and speak, speak your mind, and you're doing the same

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Speaker 1: thing magnified even multiplied for your daughters. And can you

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Speaker 1: see how strong they are because of that?

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Speaker 2: So strong, so strong.

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Speaker 3: And a lot of times I feel like people ask

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Speaker 3: like I get like, you know, parenting questions or whatever

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Speaker 3: when I do interviews, and I always default to I

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Speaker 3: don't think you have to do anything except lead by example.

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Speaker 3: They're always watching you from the time when they're like

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Speaker 3: baby baby babies. The way that you speak to people

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Speaker 3: in public, the manners you have are the manners they're

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Speaker 3: going to have.

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Speaker 2: You want your kids to say please and thank you.

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Speaker 2: Guess what you got to say? You have to be

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Speaker 2: a person that says please and thank you.

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Speaker 3: Like it's just we think that we can tell our

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Speaker 3: kids what to be, but the truth is they're going

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Speaker 3: to They're going to watch us and learn how to

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Speaker 3: move through the world.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but I also, like my early twenty year old,

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Speaker 1: I think even my older twenties, she's in twenty seven

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Speaker 1: right now, I find that it's hard for them to

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Speaker 1: stand up and be her. Yeah, and that sometimes you know,

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Speaker 1: sometimes and I or they'll come to me and talk

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Speaker 1: about it or talk about it to other people in

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Speaker 1: the moment, they don't feel comfortable standing up for themselves.

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Speaker 1: And it's so preconditioned in our culture. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like systemic. I mean, it's really just crazy.

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Speaker 3: It's crazy that we're just still like like trying to

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Speaker 3: bang down these doors.

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Speaker 1: And I'm always encouraging them to. I know it's.

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Speaker 2: Scary, yeah, but you've got.

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Speaker 1: To do it because nobody's going to stand up for you. Correct.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I know, I know, and I think you know,

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Speaker 3: the more girls that get that message and the more

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Speaker 3: they continue to do it.

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Speaker 2: You know, we're going to have to just keep going.

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Speaker 2: We just have to keep going, push forward, we keep pushing.

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Speaker 1: For I want to talk to you about ADHD because

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Speaker 1: now I'm so curious. Okay, you've talked about that. You

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Speaker 1: were recently in recent years diagnosed with ADHD later in life.

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Speaker 1: That's happening to a lot of women.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I recently had a conversation with Holly Madison and her

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Speaker 1: autism went undiagnosed until later in her life. She was like,

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Speaker 1: it explained so much for me.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, will you look back at the totality of your

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Speaker 3: life and you're like, oh, oh oh, maybe I wasn't

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Speaker 3: an airhead, Maybe I wasn't terrible in school, Maybe my

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Speaker 3: brain just worked differently. No one was really identifying it

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Speaker 3: because as women as girls, ADHD really presented differently than

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Speaker 3: it presented in boys and like, as we know, the

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Speaker 3: medical bias in terms of men versus women like is

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Speaker 3: just it's through your roof for everything, for everything. There's

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Speaker 3: just not as much research done. They really like focus

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Speaker 3: on the experience of men and men's health because we

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Speaker 3: live in this like.

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Speaker 1: They put us in the same category. We're just not.

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Speaker 1: But it just to be that way.

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Speaker 2: It just doesn't. It doesn't try. It's not a one

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Speaker 2: for one.

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Speaker 3: And so for a lot of men and girls, ADHD

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Speaker 3: presented less like that hyperactive little boy running around, can't

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Speaker 3: stay in the seat thing and more sort of internalized,

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Speaker 3: like the chaos was inside. And then I mean I

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Speaker 3: always think about this, like men and boys really do

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Speaker 3: seem to go outward with their stuff, right, like their trauma.

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Speaker 1: They like, fight, they.

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Speaker 2: Punch, they get great.

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Speaker 3: You know, women do tend a lot of times to

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Speaker 3: really go inward on them, in on themselves and feel

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Speaker 3: terrible about themselves. And so yeah, like my low self esteem,

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Speaker 3: low grit because I I just was like, I know,

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Speaker 3: I am not keeping these things straight. I was always

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Speaker 3: feeling bad about myself. And my older daughter was having

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Speaker 3: just some like learning stuff at school or just you know,

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Speaker 3: the teachers had suggested maybe we get her evaluated for

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Speaker 3: some learning differences. And as the doctor was going through

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Speaker 3: the checklist, I was like, I have every single one

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Speaker 3: of these things that this guy is saying. And afterwards,

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Speaker 3: my Bertie's dad, my now ex husband.

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Speaker 1: Was like, that's you.

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Speaker 2: I was like, it is me.

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Speaker 3: And so I went to the doctor and you had

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Speaker 3: got your own appointment. Yeah, I got my own appointment.

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Speaker 3: I went to another DIY. I went to an adult

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Speaker 3: doctor and he was like, oh, yeah, you have add

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Speaker 3: And I started talking about it on the podcast, and

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Speaker 3: the more I started talking about it, the more women

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Speaker 3: would reach out and just like, I can't I have

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Speaker 3: the exact same story. It wasn't until my twelve year

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Speaker 3: old was being diagnosed that I realized it. My whole

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Speaker 3: life has a different perspective.

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Speaker 2: You know. I was sort of always.

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Speaker 3: Feeling like I couldn't get it together, there was something

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Speaker 3: wrong with me, And now I feel such Oh, I

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Speaker 3: feel so much more generous towards myself and my younger son.

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Speaker 1: I know you feel bad that, Yeah, I kind of

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Speaker 1: robbed your young the little busy inside of you.

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Speaker 2: Yes, because I feel like I was really hard on her.

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Speaker 1: Always hard on yourself.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, And I just like I would hate that for

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Speaker 2: my own daughter.

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Speaker 1: You know, you've really paved the way for a lot

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Speaker 1: of women by opening up that conversation. Because I after

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Speaker 1: just talking with you this afternoon, I'm good. I want

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Speaker 1: to go get tested. How do I So it's just testing, Like, well,

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Speaker 1: there's like verbal testing or.

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Speaker 2: Is there blood testing?

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Speaker 3: No, No, they're not blood tests, but they but they'll

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Speaker 3: like ask you a series of questions and stuff, and like,

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Speaker 3: you know, there's Look, we're all in a time where

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Speaker 3: there's a lot going.

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Speaker 1: On, Jenny, there's a lot on our minds.

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Speaker 3: You know what I mean, and like and so I

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Speaker 3: think and not only that, we're in a very particular

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Speaker 3: time in history where like we're getting so inundated with

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Speaker 3: information at a level that no one has ever in

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Speaker 3: history been inundated with before. So you know, I think

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Speaker 3: that there's a lot of things at play. But I

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Speaker 3: do know that they're many, many women, you know, like

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Speaker 3: older millennials, young jen z and who are really finding

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Speaker 3: this like late in life diagnosis to be incredibly helpful

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Speaker 3: and you know, finding ways of managing it better.

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Speaker 1: I mean, you've enlightened me. And I appreciate that because

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Speaker 1: I you know, I told you before, I bounce from

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Speaker 1: thing to thing all day long. Yeah, and I don't

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Speaker 1: finish projects. Yeah, it takes me like weeks and weeks

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Speaker 1: to finish something, and I leave it in the middle

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Speaker 1: of the living room floor. Ye, walk around it.

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Speaker 3: One thing for me is just like getting I take medication,

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Speaker 3: and taking the right medication really helps me to focus.

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Speaker 3: And what's interesting when you say like the tasks, I'm

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Speaker 3: able to sort of prioritize tasks in a way that

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Speaker 3: literally never in my life when I'm when I'm taking

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Speaker 3: my medication, Like, never in my life have I been

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Speaker 3: able to do this. And all of a sudden, I'm like, oh,

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Speaker 3: I know exactly what I have to do, and I'm

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Speaker 3: going to finish this, put it away, and it's no

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Speaker 3: more like piles on the bottom of the stairs, like

352
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Speaker 3: so many piles.

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Speaker 2: The piles. Yeah, the piles were a joke in my home.

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Speaker 1: You said, you take medication. Do you mind sharing what

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Speaker 1: it is that you'll take?

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Speaker 3: Yes, I and I work well, so now then I

357
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Speaker 3: like they reached out and I work with a drug

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Speaker 3: company now, which is amazing. Yes, I mean this is

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00:17:27,800 --> 00:17:31,680
Speaker 3: also guys. I mean, let's just be real. We got

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Speaker 3: to diversify, you know what I mean, and at this

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Speaker 3: point in our lives. But it really did work out.

362
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Speaker 3: I was like, oh my gosh, this is amazing. So

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Speaker 3: it's this medication called Calbery, which is non stimulant. It's

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Speaker 3: a non stimulant ADHD medication. There are several different types,

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Speaker 3: and I just think people need to, you know, obviously

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Speaker 3: talk to their own doctors. I'm not a doctor, but

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Speaker 3: for me, the non stimulant is better because I already

368
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Speaker 3: have been a person my entire life who has issues

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Speaker 3: winding down, sleeping and getting your brain off, shutting my

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Speaker 3: brain off.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't want anything that's going to take me.

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Speaker 3: Up exactly exactly except like a little bit the stimulant

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Speaker 3: sort of, I guess the ideas with ADHD it sort

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Speaker 3: of counteracts it.

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Speaker 2: I think that's what they say.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's confusing.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you just have to really, but you do have

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Speaker 2: to try like different, You just have to you have

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Speaker 2: to see what works and like yeah, and be open

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Speaker 2: to the process and that like it might not be

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Speaker 2: the first thing that you try that makes a difference,

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Speaker 2: but they know you'll get there the right thing. You'll know, yes,

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Speaker 2: when you get there, you get there. Yeah, I think

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Speaker 2: with anything, right.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you have to experience things in order to know, yeah,

386
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Speaker 1: and to learn what doesn't work for you. Yeah. You

387
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Speaker 1: recently posted a video on Instagram that really got to me.

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Speaker 1: It stuck with me. It was so honest and relatable.

389
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Speaker 1: You talked about having a weird day and feeling down

390
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Speaker 1: on yourself and how when you opened up to your

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Speaker 1: friend you found out that they feel the same way,

392
00:19:00,600 --> 00:19:04,040
Speaker 1: like they're having those days too. Yeah. I absolutely know

393
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Speaker 1: how negative talk can't affect my mental health. It can

394
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Speaker 1: put me in a bad mood. It can kind of

395
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Speaker 1: derail my day sometimes, and I'm most of the time

396
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Speaker 1: my own worst enemy. Yeah, and I think it's really interesting,

397
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Speaker 1: like how do you turn that car around for yourself?

398
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Speaker 2: Well, it's funny. Look.

399
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Speaker 3: Yeah, I posted this video because I just felt like

400
00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:28,480
Speaker 3: sometimes I have these moments, especially on social media, where

401
00:19:28,520 --> 00:19:30,920
Speaker 3: I'm like, if I'm going through this, the chances are

402
00:19:31,080 --> 00:19:35,919
Speaker 3: there's like a million other women today who need to

403
00:19:35,920 --> 00:19:38,920
Speaker 3: see this right now, this second. And what had happened

404
00:19:39,040 --> 00:19:40,960
Speaker 3: was that I was just having this moment where I

405
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Speaker 3: was like, oh, what is it. I don't like the

406
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Speaker 3: way I look like I'm so old.

407
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Speaker 2: I'm getting old.

408
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Speaker 3: I'm like, you know whatever, Like I was just going

409
00:19:48,440 --> 00:19:51,399
Speaker 3: through this whole thing, and I called one of my friends,

410
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Speaker 3: who's like one of the most gorgeous, most put together.

411
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Speaker 2: We're the same age. Basically, you know, like we're the

412
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Speaker 2: same age.

413
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Speaker 3: And she I called her, not to not to even

414
00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:06,040
Speaker 3: vent about this, just to like I just called her

415
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Speaker 3: and she started going on about how bad she was feeling.

416
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Speaker 3: And I thought to myself, like, Okay, well that's insane.

417
00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:14,680
Speaker 3: And I would see it from a difference, yes, because

418
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Speaker 3: my perspective, I was like, you were literally the most beautiful,

419
00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:20,760
Speaker 3: like put together, You've got it all going like you're

420
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Speaker 3: you've literally never been hotter, you know, all of these things.

421
00:20:24,280 --> 00:20:26,080
Speaker 3: And then I was like, well, I have to remember

422
00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:28,679
Speaker 3: that for myself, like I need to talk to myself

423
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Speaker 3: like I'm my own best friend.

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Speaker 1: That's it.

425
00:20:30,920 --> 00:20:33,040
Speaker 2: And that was it. I was just like, oh, I

426
00:20:33,080 --> 00:20:36,479
Speaker 2: have to, I have to. That's that was the switch

427
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Speaker 2: I had to flip.

428
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Speaker 3: I'm like, would I say would I say that about

429
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Speaker 3: my best friend?

430
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Speaker 1: No?

431
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Speaker 2: I would never say that about my best friend. And

432
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Speaker 2: I lost.

433
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Speaker 3: I had told you this earlier because I was sharing

434
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Speaker 3: the tut about my tattoo. But you know, my high

435
00:20:51,760 --> 00:20:55,400
Speaker 3: school best friend Kate passed away. It'll be two years

436
00:20:55,400 --> 00:21:04,480
Speaker 3: in August, and you know, she was like didn't make

437
00:21:04,560 --> 00:21:12,160
Speaker 3: it to forty six, you know, and and I just

438
00:21:12,359 --> 00:21:18,040
Speaker 3: like I just hear her in my head like, guess what,

439
00:21:18,600 --> 00:21:21,200
Speaker 3: you get to still be at the party fucking enjoy it.

440
00:21:21,600 --> 00:21:28,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, like it puts things into prison. Yeah, like we're

441
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Speaker 2: still at the party. We still get to enjoy it.

442
00:21:30,760 --> 00:21:31,080
Speaker 1: Yeah.

443
00:21:31,720 --> 00:21:34,400
Speaker 3: And and on top of it, we're going to look

444
00:21:34,480 --> 00:21:36,640
Speaker 3: back on this time and I'm gonna be like, oh

445
00:21:36,640 --> 00:21:38,240
Speaker 3: my god, I was so hot and young.

446
00:21:39,560 --> 00:21:41,359
Speaker 1: I know, you know what I mean, because that's how

447
00:21:41,400 --> 00:21:43,080
Speaker 1: it is now. When I look at my younger self,

448
00:21:43,119 --> 00:21:45,520
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my god, I was so riddled with

449
00:21:45,880 --> 00:21:50,359
Speaker 1: I know, conscious thoughts and hatred inward hatred about one

450
00:21:50,400 --> 00:21:53,840
Speaker 1: thing or another, and just worrying about things I couldn't control.

451
00:21:54,320 --> 00:21:54,560
Speaker 1: I know.

452
00:21:54,680 --> 00:21:56,320
Speaker 3: And I think that too, Like I look back on

453
00:21:56,400 --> 00:22:01,600
Speaker 3: my early twenties and my twenties, my twenties period and

454
00:22:01,640 --> 00:22:04,320
Speaker 3: I and I'm like, oh, that poor girl was like

455
00:22:04,359 --> 00:22:07,360
Speaker 3: I was so oh remember when I like went through

456
00:22:07,400 --> 00:22:10,679
Speaker 3: that period of time where I was like trying to run.

457
00:22:10,480 --> 00:22:14,199
Speaker 2: Two hours every day, Like what was I doing? Wasting

458
00:22:14,240 --> 00:22:14,800
Speaker 2: so much time?

459
00:22:15,119 --> 00:22:18,840
Speaker 3: And I try to apply that same logic to myself now.

460
00:22:19,040 --> 00:22:21,760
Speaker 3: That is the that's the piece. I'm like, Okay, be

461
00:22:21,840 --> 00:22:25,320
Speaker 3: your own best friend. Think, think what Kate would say

462
00:22:25,320 --> 00:22:29,400
Speaker 3: to you. And also like, think about how you look

463
00:22:29,440 --> 00:22:34,840
Speaker 3: at yourself at even thirty two, you know, and I'm like, okay, girl,

464
00:22:34,920 --> 00:22:36,160
Speaker 3: you're you've got it, like.

465
00:22:36,080 --> 00:22:39,359
Speaker 2: You've got it. You look amazing, everything's great. You're young.

466
00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:41,920
Speaker 2: You're the youngest you're ever going to be again, right now,

467
00:22:42,200 --> 00:22:42,760
Speaker 2: right now.

468
00:22:43,400 --> 00:22:46,639
Speaker 1: Take advantage of this. Yes, live it up. Yeah, it

469
00:22:46,680 --> 00:22:50,639
Speaker 1: passes like that. Yes, Or if something tragic happens in

470
00:22:50,640 --> 00:22:53,720
Speaker 1: your life ends like yeah, yeah, may as well have

471
00:22:53,920 --> 00:22:58,320
Speaker 1: enjoyed it. Death really puts things now into perspective, majorly

472
00:22:58,760 --> 00:23:02,280
Speaker 1: when someone you and someone you're close too dies, Yeah,

473
00:23:03,119 --> 00:23:05,119
Speaker 1: gives you a lot of pause to think about things.

474
00:23:05,200 --> 00:23:09,119
Speaker 3: Yeah, was that for you with Shannon, like said one

475
00:23:09,160 --> 00:23:12,760
Speaker 3: of the first people that that really was like your contemporary.

476
00:23:12,760 --> 00:23:14,399
Speaker 3: I mean, and of course you guys were kids together

477
00:23:14,440 --> 00:23:15,120
Speaker 3: as well, so.

478
00:23:15,960 --> 00:23:18,520
Speaker 1: It was actually Luke. Oh yeah, I lost my dad

479
00:23:18,560 --> 00:23:22,240
Speaker 1: and then I lost Luke, and then the world lost Luke,

480
00:23:22,560 --> 00:23:28,600
Speaker 1: and then Shannon, and both of those my you know, friends,

481
00:23:28,680 --> 00:23:33,680
Speaker 1: my companions for so long gone. It just you wake

482
00:23:33,760 --> 00:23:37,080
Speaker 1: up and you're like, I'm so lucky and grateful to

483
00:23:37,160 --> 00:23:42,080
Speaker 1: be alive because literally I could die the next moment. Yeah,

484
00:23:42,119 --> 00:23:45,080
Speaker 1: And it just makes you think about like living your

485
00:23:45,080 --> 00:23:48,400
Speaker 1: life to the fullest and being happy. Like I spent

486
00:23:48,480 --> 00:23:50,479
Speaker 1: a lot of time not being happy and like wondering

487
00:23:50,520 --> 00:23:52,520
Speaker 1: what the fuck is wrong with me? Why can't I

488
00:23:52,600 --> 00:23:59,040
Speaker 1: be happy? And I it just changes everything.

489
00:23:59,320 --> 00:24:04,200
Speaker 3: It's a real perspective shift. And it's also so difficult too,

490
00:24:04,240 --> 00:24:07,600
Speaker 3: because I think when people haven't lost someone that they're

491
00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:11,760
Speaker 3: so close to, it's hard for them.

492
00:24:11,560 --> 00:24:14,159
Speaker 2: To get it. It's just hard to get it.

493
00:24:14,280 --> 00:24:17,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, my husband he lost a kind of close friend,

494
00:24:17,720 --> 00:24:20,960
Speaker 1: but someone he went to school with. But that's it.

495
00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:24,360
Speaker 1: He's never lost a parent, a grandparent, you know, never

496
00:24:24,480 --> 00:24:27,920
Speaker 1: lost so he hadn't no not that he hasn't lost

497
00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:30,840
Speaker 1: somebody like his contemporary.

498
00:24:30,160 --> 00:24:32,919
Speaker 3: And someone you're really like, really close, so it's been

499
00:24:32,960 --> 00:24:37,080
Speaker 3: connected to forever. But I still feel like I don't

500
00:24:37,119 --> 00:24:40,080
Speaker 3: know how you are. But I definitely like Kate is

501
00:24:40,200 --> 00:24:43,240
Speaker 3: around all the time, and she like sends me signs

502
00:24:43,320 --> 00:24:46,600
Speaker 3: and like I just feel her presence in my life.

503
00:24:46,800 --> 00:24:49,720
Speaker 1: Isn't that a trip? Like when someone you are very

504
00:24:49,720 --> 00:24:51,800
Speaker 1: close with. I notice this with my dad the first

505
00:24:51,800 --> 00:24:55,560
Speaker 1: time when he died and I noticed, I thought, Oh,

506
00:24:55,560 --> 00:24:58,040
Speaker 1: that's it. He's dead. He's gone. I'll never see him,

507
00:24:58,080 --> 00:25:01,119
Speaker 1: speak to him, feel him again. I mourned that so hard,

508
00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:04,080
Speaker 1: and then at a certain point one day, I just

509
00:25:04,119 --> 00:25:07,879
Speaker 1: remember the wind blew yes, Oh my god, and you

510
00:25:08,160 --> 00:25:11,440
Speaker 1: just I just instantly just started crying because you knew

511
00:25:11,480 --> 00:25:13,520
Speaker 1: it was him, because I could feeling like I get

512
00:25:13,560 --> 00:25:16,520
Speaker 1: I'm having the children now too, because you can feel them,

513
00:25:16,880 --> 00:25:21,080
Speaker 1: and I in that moment sort of translated into it's

514
00:25:21,119 --> 00:25:25,280
Speaker 1: not a loss. It's now they're with you all the time.

515
00:25:26,119 --> 00:25:28,280
Speaker 1: You can talk to them anytime you want. I know,

516
00:25:28,960 --> 00:25:30,240
Speaker 1: like you have full access to.

517
00:25:30,320 --> 00:25:33,240
Speaker 3: You know, I like Kate is around more now than

518
00:25:33,400 --> 00:25:36,479
Speaker 3: ever when we were you know, like we spent we

519
00:25:36,480 --> 00:25:39,480
Speaker 3: were kids together and then we spent so many years

520
00:25:39,520 --> 00:25:42,000
Speaker 3: of our lives apart because I lived in La she

521
00:25:42,160 --> 00:25:44,959
Speaker 3: lived in Arizona, and then in New Jersey and we

522
00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:47,040
Speaker 3: had children, and you know, we would try to get

523
00:25:47,040 --> 00:25:50,040
Speaker 3: together and but I would see maybe a couple of

524
00:25:50,080 --> 00:25:52,760
Speaker 3: times a year. We'd talk on the phone almost every

525
00:25:52,840 --> 00:25:55,080
Speaker 3: day at least, and then sometimes once a week if

526
00:25:55,119 --> 00:25:58,960
Speaker 3: we get we're both busy. But now it's like, yeah,

527
00:25:58,960 --> 00:26:00,600
Speaker 3: she's with me all the time.

528
00:26:01,080 --> 00:26:02,560
Speaker 1: There's something so comforting about it.

529
00:26:02,720 --> 00:26:08,120
Speaker 3: It's really special and and yeah, and a constant reminder

530
00:26:08,200 --> 00:26:11,200
Speaker 3: that like, first of all, we don't know anything nothing.

531
00:26:11,320 --> 00:26:15,040
Speaker 2: We have no control over anything, and we know nothing

532
00:26:15,119 --> 00:26:17,080
Speaker 2: and we don't know how it all works. But I

533
00:26:17,160 --> 00:26:19,000
Speaker 2: do know that they're here with us.

534
00:26:19,640 --> 00:26:25,840
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, it's comforting. I feel like it's a better

535
00:26:25,880 --> 00:26:28,600
Speaker 1: way to look at things. Otherwise it's just kind of

536
00:26:28,640 --> 00:26:30,919
Speaker 1: lonely and sad and just sad about it.

537
00:26:30,960 --> 00:26:32,600
Speaker 2: But I was really sad the other night. I was

538
00:26:32,600 --> 00:26:33,480
Speaker 2: feeling really lonely.

539
00:26:33,600 --> 00:26:37,679
Speaker 3: It's hard, you know, like being divorced and I'm living

540
00:26:37,720 --> 00:26:41,520
Speaker 3: in a new city. Really it's like I've only been

541
00:26:41,520 --> 00:26:44,920
Speaker 3: here since twenty twenty, which is I know, five years,

542
00:26:44,920 --> 00:26:46,200
Speaker 3: but it's been a weird five years.

543
00:26:46,720 --> 00:26:48,119
Speaker 1: Yeah, and a lot has happened.

544
00:26:48,200 --> 00:26:51,199
Speaker 2: And I lived in LA for twenty three before that.

545
00:26:53,800 --> 00:26:57,280
Speaker 3: And the other night, I was feeling really lonely and

546
00:26:57,280 --> 00:27:00,639
Speaker 3: I was kind of like waiting for some to call me,

547
00:27:00,800 --> 00:27:03,560
Speaker 3: and like I was just like bummed, and I was

548
00:27:03,600 --> 00:27:08,440
Speaker 3: listening to music and Kate's like favorite song came on

549
00:27:09,560 --> 00:27:12,920
Speaker 3: like out of nowhere, randomly, and it's not a song

550
00:27:12,920 --> 00:27:14,800
Speaker 3: that comes on very frequently, you know what I mean.

551
00:27:14,800 --> 00:27:17,840
Speaker 3: It's not like on my heavy rotation. It just doesn't happen.

552
00:27:18,760 --> 00:27:23,440
Speaker 3: And I just was like, I'm not alone I get

553
00:27:23,480 --> 00:27:24,040
Speaker 3: that you're here.

554
00:27:24,160 --> 00:27:26,919
Speaker 1: I love you. Oh my god, it's so comforting. I

555
00:27:26,960 --> 00:27:30,720
Speaker 1: know people Yeah, and people don't really. I mean, because

556
00:27:30,760 --> 00:27:34,200
Speaker 1: you're a spiritual person. I take you as a spirit person.

557
00:27:34,320 --> 00:27:35,159
Speaker 2: Spiritual person.

558
00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:36,280
Speaker 1: Do you believe in angels?

559
00:27:36,560 --> 00:27:39,960
Speaker 2: Of course? Of course, obviously there are people that don't

560
00:27:39,960 --> 00:27:42,600
Speaker 2: believe in angel that's crazy. I mean I talk to

561
00:27:42,680 --> 00:27:46,600
Speaker 2: them all the time, and I I send them to people. Yeah.

562
00:27:46,640 --> 00:27:49,480
Speaker 1: And you know, whenever any of my family is on

563
00:27:49,520 --> 00:27:52,960
Speaker 1: a flight, yes, yeah, playing with them, yes, And it's

564
00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:55,800
Speaker 1: such a great feeling because they're there to help you.

565
00:27:56,000 --> 00:27:59,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, I have one believe in that. Yes.

566
00:27:59,680 --> 00:28:03,960
Speaker 1: Do you think when we die, we our bodies stop, right,

567
00:28:04,960 --> 00:28:09,840
Speaker 1: and then our soul goes on? And then is that

568
00:28:09,960 --> 00:28:11,080
Speaker 1: the angel that I'm feeling?

569
00:28:11,440 --> 00:28:14,960
Speaker 3: I think it's yeah. I mean I feel like I

570
00:28:15,040 --> 00:28:17,040
Speaker 3: actually don't know. I mean I feel like it's like

571
00:28:17,119 --> 00:28:21,600
Speaker 3: on an energetic level, on a molecular level, and I

572
00:28:21,600 --> 00:28:24,480
Speaker 3: don't know. I think that time doesn't I mean time

573
00:28:24,520 --> 00:28:28,120
Speaker 3: doesn't exist right, Like, actually time doesn't exist right.

574
00:28:28,560 --> 00:28:30,080
Speaker 1: Somebody made that up, right.

575
00:28:30,440 --> 00:28:31,919
Speaker 2: So I don't know.

576
00:28:31,960 --> 00:28:34,320
Speaker 3: It gets into like quantum physics of it too, which

577
00:28:34,359 --> 00:28:37,400
Speaker 3: is insane and not something that I can really drap

578
00:28:37,440 --> 00:28:38,000
Speaker 3: my head around.

579
00:28:38,800 --> 00:28:39,000
Speaker 2: Guys.

580
00:28:39,040 --> 00:28:43,440
Speaker 3: I did drop out of college to be on Freaks

581
00:28:43,480 --> 00:28:43,920
Speaker 3: and Geeks.

582
00:28:43,960 --> 00:28:45,920
Speaker 1: I dropped out of high school to be on TV.

583
00:28:46,720 --> 00:28:47,959
Speaker 2: So I did drop I did drop out.

584
00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:49,560
Speaker 3: So I can't I can't speak to the quantum physics

585
00:28:49,600 --> 00:28:51,240
Speaker 3: of it, but I'm interested in that. But I do

586
00:28:51,280 --> 00:28:54,080
Speaker 3: think there's just I think it becomes like some sort

587
00:28:54,120 --> 00:28:59,520
Speaker 3: of expanded energy field that like, yeah, that their presence.

588
00:28:59,560 --> 00:29:03,480
Speaker 3: It's a it's energetic and it's you know, shows up

589
00:29:03,560 --> 00:29:06,560
Speaker 3: and is able to show up and do things like

590
00:29:06,640 --> 00:29:10,560
Speaker 3: change your Spotify to play woman's work.

591
00:29:10,600 --> 00:29:20,080
Speaker 1: But I don't shit it, but it really works. So

592
00:29:20,200 --> 00:29:22,640
Speaker 1: I know you talked about that you have like bad days,

593
00:29:22,800 --> 00:29:27,479
Speaker 1: you're feeling bad self limiting thoughts. Yeah, yeah, what I

594
00:29:27,520 --> 00:29:29,760
Speaker 1: heard this great thing actually last night from my daughter.

595
00:29:30,760 --> 00:29:33,120
Speaker 1: She was saying, if you talk badly, if you have

596
00:29:33,200 --> 00:29:36,000
Speaker 1: negative self talk, you have to stop yourself and say

597
00:29:36,040 --> 00:29:37,600
Speaker 1: three things that you love about yourself.

598
00:29:37,640 --> 00:29:38,160
Speaker 2: I love that.

599
00:29:39,160 --> 00:29:41,440
Speaker 1: So what are what are three things you could say

600
00:29:41,440 --> 00:29:42,480
Speaker 1: that you love about yourself?

601
00:29:42,520 --> 00:29:45,800
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, you know what, I really I have

602
00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:47,480
Speaker 2: so much that I love about myself.

603
00:29:47,680 --> 00:29:48,520
Speaker 1: That is amazing.

604
00:29:48,600 --> 00:29:50,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, I love that.

605
00:29:50,680 --> 00:29:54,960
Speaker 3: I am like very generous in all of the ways

606
00:29:55,000 --> 00:30:00,160
Speaker 3: with people, like with my time, with money, with like

607
00:30:00,560 --> 00:30:07,760
Speaker 3: anything you need, like resources, connections, other friends, Like I

608
00:30:07,800 --> 00:30:10,120
Speaker 3: know a person who can help you out, Like you

609
00:30:10,160 --> 00:30:14,040
Speaker 3: better believe that, like you're gonna get that information. I'm

610
00:30:14,080 --> 00:30:16,360
Speaker 3: gonna like help if I can see a way in

611
00:30:16,400 --> 00:30:20,840
Speaker 3: which I can be a helper. I always am doing

612
00:30:20,880 --> 00:30:24,080
Speaker 3: it or giving someone something or like like literally like

613
00:30:24,080 --> 00:30:25,640
Speaker 3: oh you like this bacelet here, just take it like

614
00:30:25,720 --> 00:30:28,960
Speaker 3: I'm just like I'm just very much. Don't come up

615
00:30:29,000 --> 00:30:30,800
Speaker 3: to me on the street and ask me for my bracelets.

616
00:30:30,840 --> 00:30:34,720
Speaker 3: But but but I do. I do tend to be

617
00:30:34,800 --> 00:30:37,160
Speaker 3: I love that I'm I love my generosity. I love

618
00:30:37,200 --> 00:30:39,560
Speaker 3: that I'm in my time and mostly like my time,

619
00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:43,480
Speaker 3: like I I feel like I'm very generous with my

620
00:30:43,520 --> 00:30:45,840
Speaker 3: time to things that I care about, and.

621
00:30:46,120 --> 00:30:48,960
Speaker 2: I show up for people that I love.

622
00:30:49,240 --> 00:30:51,560
Speaker 1: Are you a hard worker? Yeah, I can tell.

623
00:30:51,440 --> 00:30:57,080
Speaker 2: An insanely hard working. We're again Midwestern something yeah, instilled

624
00:30:57,120 --> 00:30:59,920
Speaker 2: in us from the I think the fields are something.

625
00:31:00,080 --> 00:31:03,120
Speaker 3: I started working professionally in high school. I worked at

626
00:31:03,120 --> 00:31:06,800
Speaker 3: Calvernia Pizza Kitchen in high school, like a restaurant job.

627
00:31:06,880 --> 00:31:09,800
Speaker 2: I love that place will instill a work ethic like

628
00:31:09,920 --> 00:31:14,360
Speaker 2: nobody's business totally. But I was always a hustler.

629
00:31:14,440 --> 00:31:17,400
Speaker 3: I was like always hustling, like I still to this day,

630
00:31:17,440 --> 00:31:19,080
Speaker 3: I like kind of consider myself a hustler.

631
00:31:19,320 --> 00:31:21,400
Speaker 2: But I also have all of.

632
00:31:21,320 --> 00:31:24,400
Speaker 3: These things that I want to show up for social

633
00:31:24,520 --> 00:31:26,960
Speaker 3: justice issues and you know.

634
00:31:27,520 --> 00:31:30,200
Speaker 1: All acts of service. All you're doing acts of service.

635
00:31:30,200 --> 00:31:31,520
Speaker 1: It's all about your generosity.

636
00:31:31,600 --> 00:31:34,920
Speaker 2: So I love that. Okay, I love my nose. I

637
00:31:34,920 --> 00:31:35,720
Speaker 2: have a perfect nose.

638
00:31:36,320 --> 00:31:38,920
Speaker 1: Really do what you were born with.

639
00:31:38,800 --> 00:31:43,400
Speaker 3: That it's natural. No nose job ever, guys, nothing nothing beautiful.

640
00:31:43,520 --> 00:31:45,280
Speaker 2: Thanks. I really really love my nose.

641
00:31:45,480 --> 00:31:47,320
Speaker 1: I was thinking, how beautiful your eyes are?

642
00:31:47,400 --> 00:31:48,000
Speaker 2: Oh, thank you.

643
00:31:48,600 --> 00:31:51,000
Speaker 3: I do love my eyes, but my nose is really

644
00:31:51,040 --> 00:31:54,200
Speaker 3: my favorite of my physical attributes.

645
00:31:54,280 --> 00:32:00,640
Speaker 2: I really love my nose, and and I love I

646
00:32:00,720 --> 00:32:05,760
Speaker 2: love my well, I love my kids, but like about

647
00:32:05,760 --> 00:32:07,840
Speaker 2: myself like I love.

648
00:32:09,520 --> 00:32:12,680
Speaker 3: I love how. I love that I'm an open person.

649
00:32:13,760 --> 00:32:16,400
Speaker 3: I love how open I am. It makes me feel

650
00:32:16,440 --> 00:32:18,920
Speaker 3: less alone. And I love that if it can bring

651
00:32:19,000 --> 00:32:24,800
Speaker 3: other people some comfort, then that's such an incredible bonus.

652
00:32:25,040 --> 00:32:26,440
Speaker 2: So I really love that too. So those are my

653
00:32:26,480 --> 00:32:26,960
Speaker 2: three things.

654
00:32:27,000 --> 00:32:29,800
Speaker 1: I love all of those things about you so so much.

655
00:32:30,480 --> 00:32:33,520
Speaker 1: You said you love your kids. You have two daughters.

656
00:32:33,560 --> 00:32:34,720
Speaker 1: I have three daughters.

657
00:32:35,120 --> 00:32:37,160
Speaker 3: My ex husband was like, should I have the third

658
00:32:37,200 --> 00:32:38,400
Speaker 3: before we got divorced.

659
00:32:38,480 --> 00:32:42,720
Speaker 1: I was like, I know, man, damn yeah, threes, three's fun,

660
00:32:43,040 --> 00:32:45,960
Speaker 1: but two is great, two is great. One was real nice.

661
00:32:46,080 --> 00:32:48,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, I thought it was just gonna be one, one

662
00:32:48,800 --> 00:32:51,000
Speaker 3: and done. I kind of did because I was young too.

663
00:32:51,000 --> 00:32:52,960
Speaker 3: I mean, you were very young. How old were you

664
00:32:53,040 --> 00:32:55,880
Speaker 3: twenty twenty four? Twenty four? Oh okay, Michelle was twenty

665
00:32:55,920 --> 00:32:58,360
Speaker 3: four when she had met told it. I think I

666
00:32:58,440 --> 00:33:01,840
Speaker 3: was twenty. I had just turned twenty nine when I

667
00:33:01,840 --> 00:33:03,720
Speaker 3: gave birt I was twenty eight, like my whole pregnancy,

668
00:33:03,760 --> 00:33:07,200
Speaker 3: and then I had Bertie at twenty nine. But like,

669
00:33:07,240 --> 00:33:10,640
Speaker 3: having kids in your twenties is a lot when you're working, it.

670
00:33:10,680 --> 00:33:11,200
Speaker 1: Is a lot.

671
00:33:11,320 --> 00:33:14,080
Speaker 2: It's a lot to have kids editing point at any point, but.

672
00:33:14,480 --> 00:33:16,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, being a working mom full time, it was really

673
00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:18,920
Speaker 1: hard taking that baby a set with you at six

674
00:33:18,920 --> 00:33:19,160
Speaker 1: a m.

675
00:33:19,240 --> 00:33:20,800
Speaker 2: That's right, That's what I'm talking about.

676
00:33:20,920 --> 00:33:23,320
Speaker 3: So I was like, well, I don't know if that's

677
00:33:23,360 --> 00:33:24,720
Speaker 3: going to happen again, and I was on it.

678
00:33:24,880 --> 00:33:26,000
Speaker 2: I was on Cougartown.

679
00:33:26,440 --> 00:33:28,240
Speaker 1: By the way. I love doing that. Thank you, I

680
00:33:28,280 --> 00:33:30,880
Speaker 1: really really I love that show, but that started.

681
00:33:31,360 --> 00:33:33,000
Speaker 3: I did the pilot when she was six months old,

682
00:33:33,080 --> 00:33:36,320
Speaker 3: and then started on her first birthday, so Bertie, So

683
00:33:38,240 --> 00:33:41,720
Speaker 3: those first few years of her life, I felt totally

684
00:33:41,800 --> 00:33:48,200
Speaker 3: overwhelmed and underwater, and thankfully had the greatest nanny of

685
00:33:48,240 --> 00:33:51,880
Speaker 3: all time, Ileana, who made my entire life possible and

686
00:33:51,920 --> 00:33:56,640
Speaker 3: made Bertie's life very enriched and loved and was able

687
00:33:56,760 --> 00:33:59,800
Speaker 3: to like schlep her down to Culver City to the

688
00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:02,000
Speaker 3: studio every day by Nina.

689
00:34:02,040 --> 00:34:04,840
Speaker 1: I call her my Nina. Yeah, she was the nanny

690
00:34:04,880 --> 00:34:08,000
Speaker 1: as well. She's my best friend, my mom, everything all

691
00:34:08,080 --> 00:34:10,000
Speaker 1: rolled into one. Oh, she raised my children.

692
00:34:10,160 --> 00:34:13,759
Speaker 3: Yeah, we were in a partner. Yeah, Eleanna and I

693
00:34:13,800 --> 00:34:20,360
Speaker 3: were partners, and and it really was. She's just she

694
00:34:20,480 --> 00:34:23,120
Speaker 3: was just such an incredibly important person in my life

695
00:34:23,760 --> 00:34:28,080
Speaker 3: and in my kids' lives, and uh but I didn't think.

696
00:34:28,120 --> 00:34:30,319
Speaker 3: I was like, I think I can just handle the one.

697
00:34:30,560 --> 00:34:32,920
Speaker 3: And then Bertie like turned four, and I was like,

698
00:34:33,120 --> 00:34:38,880
Speaker 3: but maybe, yeah, it takes it. I think, you know, no,

699
00:34:39,239 --> 00:34:40,719
Speaker 3: this is what I do. Because there's three of them.

700
00:34:40,800 --> 00:34:41,919
Speaker 3: I can't remember which is which.

701
00:34:42,760 --> 00:34:46,640
Speaker 1: Luca was four or five when I decided, well, Aiden,

702
00:34:47,120 --> 00:34:48,360
Speaker 1: all my kids were happy.

703
00:34:48,120 --> 00:34:49,720
Speaker 2: Accidents oh, well that's great.

704
00:34:49,920 --> 00:34:52,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, I wanted to have a second one and I

705
00:34:52,040 --> 00:34:56,600
Speaker 1: went that wasn't happening, and I went to acupuncture and

706
00:34:56,680 --> 00:34:58,440
Speaker 1: that didn't work. And then of course three months later

707
00:34:58,480 --> 00:35:00,319
Speaker 1: I was pregnant. Of course, so it did work. Like

708
00:35:00,360 --> 00:35:03,040
Speaker 1: it's still turns out something, yeah, yep. But what do

709
00:35:03,080 --> 00:35:06,000
Speaker 1: you think when it comes to raising these young women

710
00:35:06,120 --> 00:35:09,120
Speaker 1: and sending them out to the world on their own? Now,

711
00:35:09,680 --> 00:35:12,359
Speaker 1: what are some of your biggest fears? Oh?

712
00:35:12,360 --> 00:35:14,200
Speaker 3: My god, obviously, well, I mean this is like so dark,

713
00:35:14,239 --> 00:35:16,160
Speaker 3: but my biggest fear is that they'll be sexually assaulted,

714
00:35:16,239 --> 00:35:16,920
Speaker 3: raped and murdered.

715
00:35:17,040 --> 00:35:20,000
Speaker 1: Yes, I mean that is dark, but can happen.

716
00:35:20,080 --> 00:35:25,319
Speaker 3: And then my second, like my fear one A is

717
00:35:25,320 --> 00:35:27,560
Speaker 3: that they will be sexually assaulted, raped, or murdered by

718
00:35:27,560 --> 00:35:34,320
Speaker 3: someone they love. Because statistically speaking, as women, like, that's

719
00:35:34,360 --> 00:35:40,640
Speaker 3: a well that's a reality, and I know that's really tough.

720
00:35:40,520 --> 00:35:43,399
Speaker 1: No matter how strong we raise them to be.

721
00:35:43,520 --> 00:35:46,560
Speaker 4: Of course, but that's the thing, like, as you've lived

722
00:35:46,560 --> 00:35:51,000
Speaker 4: your full life, like I'm sure I have had friends

723
00:35:51,040 --> 00:35:55,120
Speaker 4: who i've then who have later then you know, revealed

724
00:35:55,160 --> 00:35:58,040
Speaker 4: to me that they were in an abusive relationship or

725
00:35:58,160 --> 00:36:00,440
Speaker 4: you know, it's not it's not like.

726
00:36:01,960 --> 00:36:05,080
Speaker 3: You just don't know, you just don't know. But I

727
00:36:06,400 --> 00:36:08,080
Speaker 3: that is like my biggest fear. That is just my

728
00:36:08,120 --> 00:36:13,920
Speaker 3: biggest fear, period, full stop and always has been. And

729
00:36:13,960 --> 00:36:19,760
Speaker 3: then I guess beyond that, I'm hopeful, and I think

730
00:36:20,400 --> 00:36:25,440
Speaker 3: that my ex husband Mark and I have raised them

731
00:36:26,080 --> 00:36:28,879
Speaker 3: in a way and continue to, by the way, raise

732
00:36:28,920 --> 00:36:32,160
Speaker 3: them in a way that they feel very secure and

733
00:36:32,200 --> 00:36:35,960
Speaker 3: safe with us so that they would tell they would

734
00:36:36,000 --> 00:36:38,399
Speaker 3: be able to come to us with anything in any

735
00:36:38,520 --> 00:36:39,719
Speaker 3: kind of situation.

736
00:36:40,680 --> 00:36:43,360
Speaker 2: You know, it sounds like you and your ex husband

737
00:36:43,400 --> 00:36:46,239
Speaker 2: have a good relationship moving forward as far as its

738
00:36:46,320 --> 00:36:48,880
Speaker 2: co parenting. Yeah, we're doing it.

739
00:36:48,920 --> 00:36:54,640
Speaker 1: We're trying. We did a lot of the we're always easy. Yeah, Yeah,

740
00:36:53,440 --> 00:36:57,960
Speaker 1: I did it too in there. And it's just so

741
00:36:58,120 --> 00:37:01,000
Speaker 1: much better when you get to the place where you

742
00:37:01,080 --> 00:37:04,800
Speaker 1: just accept it and you forgive. Yeah, and you move forward.

743
00:37:05,160 --> 00:37:10,960
Speaker 3: Yes, And I think for us, our relationship now and

744
00:37:11,040 --> 00:37:14,440
Speaker 3: I mean, I'm sure yours in Peter's obviously is I

745
00:37:14,480 --> 00:37:16,640
Speaker 3: can't even do the math. But it's been a long

746
00:37:16,680 --> 00:37:20,960
Speaker 3: time Mark and I have known each other now, like

747
00:37:21,440 --> 00:37:25,360
Speaker 3: it'll be twenty years in June. You know, it's like

748
00:37:25,440 --> 00:37:29,200
Speaker 3: a huge chunk of my life like that this person

749
00:37:29,239 --> 00:37:35,560
Speaker 3: has been in and we have always been deeply committed

750
00:37:35,600 --> 00:37:40,239
Speaker 3: to the love that we have together for our kids,

751
00:37:40,600 --> 00:37:43,920
Speaker 3: because we do have love together for our children.

752
00:37:43,640 --> 00:37:46,319
Speaker 1: And you obviously have love for him because I made

753
00:37:46,320 --> 00:37:48,759
Speaker 1: your children. I do, I do, and you spend so

754
00:37:48,840 --> 00:37:50,760
Speaker 1: much time with them. Yes, I feel the same way.

755
00:37:50,800 --> 00:37:54,120
Speaker 3: And you know, and he and I had sort of

756
00:37:54,160 --> 00:38:00,520
Speaker 3: like an evolution of our relationship and we worked in

757
00:38:00,600 --> 00:38:03,400
Speaker 3: therapy for a really long time before we actually separated

758
00:38:05,520 --> 00:38:07,560
Speaker 3: to try to just see what was possible and what

759
00:38:07,719 --> 00:38:12,920
Speaker 3: our relationship could look like. And so it's it's shifted

760
00:38:12,960 --> 00:38:15,319
Speaker 3: and evolved and it looks different and like, you know,

761
00:38:16,440 --> 00:38:19,279
Speaker 3: but I just want I mean what I want for him.

762
00:38:19,280 --> 00:38:21,560
Speaker 3: I know he wants for me, which is ultimately like

763
00:38:21,600 --> 00:38:24,200
Speaker 3: we want each other to be happy and fulfilled.

764
00:38:24,719 --> 00:38:25,480
Speaker 1: That's beautiful.

765
00:38:25,680 --> 00:38:28,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, well that's what we should all want for people

766
00:38:28,640 --> 00:38:30,799
Speaker 3: that we like love in any way at any time,

767
00:38:30,880 --> 00:38:31,120
Speaker 3: you know.

768
00:38:31,480 --> 00:38:35,319
Speaker 1: Right, Yeah, absolutely So. On this podcast we talk about

769
00:38:35,320 --> 00:38:38,400
Speaker 1: the choices we make and where they lead us. What

770
00:38:38,440 --> 00:38:41,480
Speaker 1: would you say, looking at your life as a whole,

771
00:38:42,360 --> 00:38:46,319
Speaker 1: was the most impactful choice or decision that you've made

772
00:38:46,360 --> 00:38:50,120
Speaker 1: so far? The most impactful that's a big question.

773
00:38:50,200 --> 00:38:53,880
Speaker 2: I mean, it's huge because we make.

774
00:38:54,000 --> 00:38:56,080
Speaker 1: Thirty five thousand choices every day at least.

775
00:38:57,840 --> 00:39:00,600
Speaker 3: I mean, I think that we all have real sliding

776
00:39:00,719 --> 00:39:09,000
Speaker 3: doors moments, you know, And I always think I'm very

777
00:39:09,080 --> 00:39:12,080
Speaker 3: much like a could have gone either way, you never know,

778
00:39:12,840 --> 00:39:16,240
Speaker 3: like you could have picked door number two and still

779
00:39:16,320 --> 00:39:18,080
Speaker 3: I could. I could have picked door number two and

780
00:39:18,160 --> 00:39:20,239
Speaker 3: still could have ended up right here talking to you

781
00:39:20,760 --> 00:39:23,280
Speaker 3: through another set of circumstances.

782
00:39:23,320 --> 00:39:25,200
Speaker 2: Maybe this was always meant to be, you know.

783
00:39:25,200 --> 00:39:28,560
Speaker 3: What I mean, Maybe I was this person you know

784
00:39:28,760 --> 00:39:32,600
Speaker 3: that I am in this version sitting here talking to you,

785
00:39:33,600 --> 00:39:35,840
Speaker 3: and maybe the journey would have looked different, you know.

786
00:39:37,960 --> 00:39:40,040
Speaker 3: I mean I had an abortion when I was fifteen,

787
00:39:40,160 --> 00:39:43,840
Speaker 3: and I think that, like I've obviously talked very publicly

788
00:39:43,880 --> 00:39:46,680
Speaker 3: and openly about it, but I think that my life

789
00:39:46,680 --> 00:39:52,000
Speaker 3: would have looked vastly different had I not been able

790
00:39:52,400 --> 00:39:56,239
Speaker 3: to make that decision safely and with support. And I

791
00:39:56,800 --> 00:40:00,200
Speaker 3: get I'm very I am very concerned to continue to

792
00:40:00,200 --> 00:40:01,560
Speaker 3: be very concerned.

793
00:40:02,400 --> 00:40:04,960
Speaker 1: About the safety of.

794
00:40:05,360 --> 00:40:10,400
Speaker 3: Women and girls in our country, and because it is

795
00:40:10,920 --> 00:40:14,640
Speaker 3: you know, there are many reasons why women need access

796
00:40:14,719 --> 00:40:18,440
Speaker 3: to abortion care, but one of them is to be

797
00:40:18,440 --> 00:40:23,640
Speaker 3: able to control their futures and their lives. And I

798
00:40:23,760 --> 00:40:26,960
Speaker 3: was able to do that and I'm so grateful for it.

799
00:40:27,560 --> 00:40:30,239
Speaker 1: Yeah that's a big decision. Yeah, it was. It was

800
00:40:30,239 --> 00:40:32,439
Speaker 1: a big decision to have to make a child. Yeah,

801
00:40:32,520 --> 00:40:37,200
Speaker 1: basically a child. Yeah, Okay, I love that your podcast

802
00:40:37,280 --> 00:40:39,160
Speaker 1: is called doing your Best.

803
00:40:39,239 --> 00:40:40,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, Busy Phillips is doing your best?

804
00:40:40,719 --> 00:40:43,439
Speaker 1: What that's all we can do. But what does doing

805
00:40:43,480 --> 00:40:44,680
Speaker 1: your best mean to you?

806
00:40:44,960 --> 00:40:49,239
Speaker 3: I mean it totally changes all the time, but doing

807
00:40:49,280 --> 00:40:53,759
Speaker 3: your best means that you, like genuinely are like, this

808
00:40:53,800 --> 00:40:55,520
Speaker 3: is what I'm capable of in this moment in time.

809
00:40:55,719 --> 00:40:57,440
Speaker 2: This is my best. I'm doing it.

810
00:40:57,480 --> 00:40:59,160
Speaker 3: And I try to like really show up with my

811
00:40:59,200 --> 00:41:02,920
Speaker 3: best for people, and sometimes I'm not.

812
00:41:03,320 --> 00:41:04,080
Speaker 2: Sometimes I don't.

813
00:41:04,160 --> 00:41:07,359
Speaker 3: It's not it doesn't work and I fail, but I

814
00:41:07,400 --> 00:41:11,800
Speaker 3: really do try. And sometimes we talk about on the podcast.

815
00:41:11,840 --> 00:41:14,279
Speaker 3: Sometimes I'm like, you know what I did my best

816
00:41:14,320 --> 00:41:16,360
Speaker 3: at this week? I got rid of the piles on

817
00:41:16,400 --> 00:41:19,520
Speaker 3: the stairs. Yeah, look at me, look at me. That

818
00:41:19,680 --> 00:41:21,440
Speaker 3: was what I was able to do this week. Or

819
00:41:21,960 --> 00:41:24,759
Speaker 3: I remembered to go pick up my dry cleaning this

820
00:41:24,840 --> 00:41:26,359
Speaker 3: week and that was a big deal.

821
00:41:27,000 --> 00:41:29,640
Speaker 1: Just acknowledging those little wins. It is important.

822
00:41:29,760 --> 00:41:31,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, And so like on a daily basis.

823
00:41:31,480 --> 00:41:33,440
Speaker 3: I mean it's sort of like almost like a gratitude

824
00:41:33,640 --> 00:41:36,040
Speaker 3: journal in a way too, because I'm like, you know what,

825
00:41:36,719 --> 00:41:38,960
Speaker 3: I did my best. I did my best at parenting

826
00:41:39,560 --> 00:41:42,680
Speaker 3: you know today with that situation. Didn't do my best yesterday,

827
00:41:42,680 --> 00:41:45,600
Speaker 3: But that's okay, Like there's always tomorrow, you know whatever,

828
00:41:45,840 --> 00:41:46,200
Speaker 3: right right?

829
00:41:46,280 --> 00:41:49,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, you said before, I know you're really close friends

830
00:41:49,120 --> 00:41:53,759
Speaker 1: with Michelle. Yeah, and I think she's wonderful Michelle Williams.

831
00:41:54,040 --> 00:41:59,239
Speaker 1: Do you believe in soulmates when it comes to your girlfriend? Oh? Yeah,

832
00:41:59,520 --> 00:42:01,319
Speaker 1: do you think it's like predestined? Yes?

833
00:42:02,800 --> 00:42:03,600
Speaker 2: I do kind of.

834
00:42:04,000 --> 00:42:06,160
Speaker 3: I think Michelle and I were always supposed to meet.

835
00:42:06,520 --> 00:42:08,520
Speaker 3: We almost did, like several times too.

836
00:42:08,760 --> 00:42:11,319
Speaker 1: But you met way back on Dawson's on Dawson's Creek.

837
00:42:11,400 --> 00:42:13,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, but even before that, like we then I remember

838
00:42:13,960 --> 00:42:15,840
Speaker 3: at the time when we finally like or when we

839
00:42:15,880 --> 00:42:19,560
Speaker 3: finally when we first met and like became like instantly

840
00:42:19,840 --> 00:42:24,719
Speaker 3: new that we were meant to be together for life.

841
00:42:25,440 --> 00:42:28,359
Speaker 3: We were like, wait, you were in you know, doing math.

842
00:42:28,400 --> 00:42:30,840
Speaker 3: I like you were in London staying in this hotel

843
00:42:30,960 --> 00:42:33,440
Speaker 3: and this month or this week and this month, and

844
00:42:33,960 --> 00:42:35,840
Speaker 3: was like, yeah, like we were both in this hotel,

845
00:42:35,920 --> 00:42:39,160
Speaker 3: like we must have seen you know, yeah, like stuff

846
00:42:39,200 --> 00:42:42,200
Speaker 3: like that, like did you see Past Lives? The movie

847
00:42:42,560 --> 00:42:44,360
Speaker 3: the Selene saw movie Past Lives?

848
00:42:44,320 --> 00:42:47,240
Speaker 1: I think, so I don't remember anything. Okay, sounds familiar.

849
00:42:47,239 --> 00:42:51,040
Speaker 2: But they talk about that idea. It's the Korean idea

850
00:42:51,320 --> 00:42:55,680
Speaker 2: of a mom. Imma, mom, you're asking me. I don't know.

851
00:42:55,719 --> 00:42:58,160
Speaker 3: I think it's called mom. But where it's like, oh,

852
00:42:58,200 --> 00:42:59,359
Speaker 3: Michelle just texted.

853
00:42:59,040 --> 00:43:03,160
Speaker 1: Me see see weird See I love those moments.

854
00:43:03,200 --> 00:43:04,359
Speaker 2: I know me too. Well.

855
00:43:04,440 --> 00:43:06,759
Speaker 3: This has been happening to me so much recently, like

856
00:43:06,920 --> 00:43:10,480
Speaker 3: in such an intense way where like I'll think about

857
00:43:10,480 --> 00:43:13,719
Speaker 3: somebody and then the text pops up. Two days ago,

858
00:43:13,719 --> 00:43:15,319
Speaker 3: I was talking about a vitamin that I started taking

859
00:43:15,360 --> 00:43:16,719
Speaker 3: because a girl that I used to go to soul

860
00:43:16,760 --> 00:43:19,879
Speaker 3: cycle with in Los Angeles like ten years ago told

861
00:43:19,920 --> 00:43:22,759
Speaker 3: me about it. And I have not spoken to this

862
00:43:22,800 --> 00:43:25,800
Speaker 3: girl in forever. And she texted two minutes later, well.

863
00:43:25,640 --> 00:43:28,040
Speaker 1: That's the thing. You know, you're exactly where you're supposed

864
00:43:28,040 --> 00:43:30,080
Speaker 1: to be when you have those synchronoic cities.

865
00:43:30,320 --> 00:43:31,920
Speaker 3: One hundred percent weight. We have to look up the

866
00:43:31,920 --> 00:43:33,440
Speaker 3: proper word for this, guys. I'm sorry.

867
00:43:33,920 --> 00:43:35,239
Speaker 2: It's the idea that.

868
00:43:38,000 --> 00:43:40,319
Speaker 3: Every person that you come in contact with you have

869
00:43:40,640 --> 00:43:42,040
Speaker 3: like past life history with.

870
00:43:44,960 --> 00:43:45,839
Speaker 1: That's kind of nice.

871
00:43:45,880 --> 00:43:48,400
Speaker 3: You should watch the movie again, I will you. I

872
00:43:49,280 --> 00:43:54,279
Speaker 3: in yan Inyan Indian Indian, right, it's in Onion, but

873
00:43:54,360 --> 00:43:58,120
Speaker 3: Indian Indian. Yeah, Indian Indian, and so it's like the

874
00:43:58,160 --> 00:43:58,880
Speaker 3: idea of Indian.

875
00:43:59,040 --> 00:44:00,680
Speaker 1: Right, I'm gonna look, I'm going to research.

876
00:44:00,760 --> 00:44:02,960
Speaker 3: You should and you should also just watch that movie

877
00:44:03,040 --> 00:44:05,520
Speaker 3: again if you did, because it was really good.

878
00:44:06,360 --> 00:44:08,319
Speaker 1: You have a special bond though, with your past from

879
00:44:08,400 --> 00:44:11,600
Speaker 1: Dawson's Creek, like certain members on that you've still friends with,

880
00:44:11,719 --> 00:44:12,400
Speaker 1: like Michelle.

881
00:44:12,840 --> 00:44:13,080
Speaker 2: Yeah.

882
00:44:13,120 --> 00:44:17,080
Speaker 3: Well, actually we all have been sort of chatting, yeah, recently,

883
00:44:17,160 --> 00:44:19,719
Speaker 3: because as I mean, I'm sure you really to, like

884
00:44:19,920 --> 00:44:23,160
Speaker 3: James got a cancer, James Vanderbia got a cancer diagnosis,

885
00:44:23,760 --> 00:44:29,120
Speaker 3: and I think it really was shocking for everybody.

886
00:44:29,320 --> 00:44:31,120
Speaker 2: And come back together.

887
00:44:32,560 --> 00:44:35,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, and so we've all been kind of like checking

888
00:44:35,560 --> 00:44:38,800
Speaker 3: in and texting and reaching out and making sure everybody's

889
00:44:38,840 --> 00:44:41,040
Speaker 3: doing good and doing all right and where is everyone?

890
00:44:41,200 --> 00:44:42,839
Speaker 2: And yeah, and Michelle and.

891
00:44:42,800 --> 00:44:45,960
Speaker 3: I got together with Katie, which hadn't happened in a

892
00:44:46,000 --> 00:44:50,040
Speaker 3: long time, even though you know, just life like just happened.

893
00:44:50,080 --> 00:44:52,920
Speaker 2: Yes, And I had reached.

894
00:44:52,719 --> 00:44:55,799
Speaker 3: Out to Josh after the fires because I knew that

895
00:44:55,800 --> 00:44:58,200
Speaker 3: he had lost his home anyway, like we had been

896
00:44:58,200 --> 00:45:01,680
Speaker 3: talking and.

897
00:45:01,400 --> 00:45:04,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, and reached out. I just, you know, Yeah, you

898
00:45:04,520 --> 00:45:07,360
Speaker 2: spend a lot of time with these people when you're young, young,

899
00:45:07,480 --> 00:45:10,479
Speaker 2: and that's very formulive those years. Yeah, but I feel

900
00:45:10,480 --> 00:45:14,759
Speaker 2: that way about the freaks and geeks cast too. I

901
00:45:14,920 --> 00:45:18,399
Speaker 2: just you know, I can go like literally like year

902
00:45:18,920 --> 00:45:22,239
Speaker 2: two years without seeing or talking to one of them,

903
00:45:22,280 --> 00:45:24,720
Speaker 2: and then I run into them or talk call Linda

904
00:45:24,840 --> 00:45:27,920
Speaker 2: or text her, and then it's just like it's not nothing,

905
00:45:27,960 --> 00:45:30,520
Speaker 2: not time. Yeah, exactly same as us. Yeah, it's like

906
00:45:30,560 --> 00:45:32,719
Speaker 2: your high literally guys, like your high school.

907
00:45:32,520 --> 00:45:37,840
Speaker 1: Friends somehow closer because yeah, thrust into these weird situations

908
00:45:37,880 --> 00:45:42,160
Speaker 1: exactly well before I let you go, Yes, Busy Phillips, Yes,

909
00:45:42,480 --> 00:45:45,400
Speaker 1: what was your last I Choose me moment?

910
00:45:45,920 --> 00:45:52,120
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, Well I think my last I Choose

911
00:45:52,200 --> 00:45:57,399
Speaker 2: me moment, uh was a couple of weeks ago.

912
00:45:58,320 --> 00:46:00,400
Speaker 3: I was like, this is the thing, Like, I'm like

913
00:46:00,400 --> 00:46:02,120
Speaker 3: a I told I'm like a person that shows up,

914
00:46:02,160 --> 00:46:03,480
Speaker 3: I do things.

915
00:46:04,080 --> 00:46:06,960
Speaker 2: But I had I was supposed to go to.

916
00:46:07,120 --> 00:46:09,719
Speaker 3: LA for like twenty four hours to perform in this

917
00:46:09,800 --> 00:46:11,399
Speaker 3: live show that was supposed to be. It's a fun

918
00:46:11,440 --> 00:46:13,840
Speaker 3: thing that I've done for years, this live show, and

919
00:46:13,880 --> 00:46:17,680
Speaker 3: I love it. But I had had just a really

920
00:46:17,960 --> 00:46:22,760
Speaker 3: really emotionally taxing like with kids stuff and personal life

921
00:46:22,760 --> 00:46:27,080
Speaker 3: stuff and probably periomenopause. I don't I don't know, you

922
00:46:27,160 --> 00:46:28,399
Speaker 3: know what I mean. Like, I was just like very

923
00:46:28,440 --> 00:46:33,120
Speaker 3: I was like emotional, and we were about to start

924
00:46:33,160 --> 00:46:36,239
Speaker 3: filming the talk show, so I would have had to

925
00:46:36,280 --> 00:46:39,560
Speaker 3: fly there. Yeah, And I had just had cricket for

926
00:46:39,560 --> 00:46:41,440
Speaker 3: spring break and had taken her to the UK, so

927
00:46:41,520 --> 00:46:42,719
Speaker 3: I was back in New York.

928
00:46:42,760 --> 00:46:43,560
Speaker 2: I was jet lagged.

929
00:46:43,840 --> 00:46:45,960
Speaker 3: I was going through all this other stuff with you

930
00:46:46,160 --> 00:46:47,759
Speaker 3: just I don't need to get into, but like, you know,

931
00:46:47,840 --> 00:46:49,720
Speaker 3: just emotional stuff.

932
00:46:51,239 --> 00:46:52,960
Speaker 2: And I called the guys and I was like, guys,

933
00:46:54,000 --> 00:46:56,440
Speaker 2: I can't come. I can't come to I'm gonna. I

934
00:46:56,440 --> 00:46:58,439
Speaker 2: need to choose myself and my mental health.

935
00:46:58,520 --> 00:47:00,800
Speaker 3: I really felt like if I got on a plane

936
00:47:01,239 --> 00:47:04,920
Speaker 3: for six hours to go perform in two shows, one

937
00:47:04,960 --> 00:47:06,799
Speaker 3: at six pm and one at nine pm, and then

938
00:47:07,000 --> 00:47:08,759
Speaker 3: get back on a six am flight back to New

939
00:47:08,800 --> 00:47:12,800
Speaker 3: York and then film my first show two days later,

940
00:47:13,400 --> 00:47:15,200
Speaker 3: I would be a mess and I wouldn't be able

941
00:47:15,239 --> 00:47:18,839
Speaker 3: to do any of those things well. And there's an

942
00:47:18,880 --> 00:47:21,400
Speaker 3: older version of me that would have been like power

943
00:47:21,480 --> 00:47:25,719
Speaker 3: through it, suck it up, be it, tripper up. But

944
00:47:25,960 --> 00:47:28,440
Speaker 3: I was like, no, I'm just going to be honest

945
00:47:28,880 --> 00:47:32,680
Speaker 3: with my friends about this thing that I had committed

946
00:47:32,680 --> 00:47:35,560
Speaker 3: to previously when I thought I could do it, but

947
00:47:35,719 --> 00:47:39,520
Speaker 3: like situations had changed. There was like new information and

948
00:47:39,680 --> 00:47:39,960
Speaker 3: you know.

949
00:47:39,920 --> 00:47:42,200
Speaker 1: They were disappointed and that was really hard for you.

950
00:47:42,280 --> 00:47:44,520
Speaker 1: But did you feel relief? Well?

951
00:47:44,520 --> 00:47:45,720
Speaker 2: I felt immediate relief.

952
00:47:45,760 --> 00:47:47,279
Speaker 3: But I want to say this, like the guys who

953
00:47:47,360 --> 00:47:50,480
Speaker 3: produce this show, it's this live like stage show that

954
00:47:51,280 --> 00:47:55,120
Speaker 3: I have done for ten years called The Thrilling Adventure Hour,

955
00:47:55,160 --> 00:47:57,799
Speaker 3: and they like released it as podcasts too, and they

956
00:47:57,840 --> 00:47:59,720
Speaker 3: do it with a bunch of other actors and so fun.

957
00:48:00,080 --> 00:48:03,560
Speaker 3: And the guys who write the entire thing are awesome,

958
00:48:03,719 --> 00:48:07,040
Speaker 3: but like, just full disclosure, neither one of them have children,

959
00:48:07,480 --> 00:48:10,080
Speaker 3: do you know what I mean? And so I sort

960
00:48:10,080 --> 00:48:13,440
Speaker 3: of was like kind of preemptively like, oh, they're not

961
00:48:13,480 --> 00:48:15,000
Speaker 3: going to get it, and they're not going to be

962
00:48:15,160 --> 00:48:15,920
Speaker 3: kind about it.

963
00:48:16,200 --> 00:48:18,000
Speaker 2: They're going to just be mad at me. That was

964
00:48:18,040 --> 00:48:18,560
Speaker 2: like what I thought.

965
00:48:19,560 --> 00:48:23,520
Speaker 3: And they wrote back with the nicest, loveliest like you're

966
00:48:23,640 --> 00:48:26,840
Speaker 3: mentally like you're the most important. You're your well being

967
00:48:26,920 --> 00:48:29,319
Speaker 3: is more important than our show. We'll figure it out.

968
00:48:29,400 --> 00:48:33,480
Speaker 3: Don't worry about it. Take care of yourself. They yeah,

969
00:48:33,520 --> 00:48:34,479
Speaker 3: and I was like, oh.

970
00:48:34,600 --> 00:48:35,960
Speaker 2: You guys really are my friends.

971
00:48:36,120 --> 00:48:36,640
Speaker 1: Thank you.

972
00:48:37,640 --> 00:48:38,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was really nice.

973
00:48:38,960 --> 00:48:41,160
Speaker 1: That's a good when I hear that a lot, saying

974
00:48:41,200 --> 00:48:42,279
Speaker 1: notice things. Yes.

975
00:48:43,239 --> 00:48:46,759
Speaker 2: Well, it's a hard thing for people like us to do, I.

976
00:48:46,680 --> 00:48:49,520
Speaker 1: Think, especially when you're a generous Yeah, your time and

977
00:48:49,560 --> 00:48:53,319
Speaker 1: you're everything, and I want to show up. Yeah, you know,

978
00:48:53,800 --> 00:48:54,640
Speaker 1: because that's who you are.

979
00:48:54,800 --> 00:48:57,000
Speaker 3: Yes, But I don't. I tend to not I do

980
00:48:57,120 --> 00:48:59,840
Speaker 3: tend to not over extend. I will say that the

981
00:49:00,120 --> 00:49:03,080
Speaker 3: canceling last minute was really like, this was a thing

982
00:49:03,120 --> 00:49:05,880
Speaker 3: that I don't I'm not a person who does that.

983
00:49:06,600 --> 00:49:10,760
Speaker 3: I don't flake, but this was like a step beyond.

984
00:49:11,160 --> 00:49:13,319
Speaker 3: It wasn't a flake. It was like, if I do this,

985
00:49:13,400 --> 00:49:14,920
Speaker 3: I'm gonna have a nervous breakdown.

986
00:49:15,239 --> 00:49:18,279
Speaker 1: Yeah, I've been there. Yeah, I think I've had the

987
00:49:18,360 --> 00:49:20,879
Speaker 1: nervous break day. But it's so good when you say

988
00:49:20,880 --> 00:49:23,560
Speaker 1: no to yes, it is Yeah, Well you didn't flake

989
00:49:23,600 --> 00:49:25,719
Speaker 1: on me today. I didn't flake on you. No, And

990
00:49:25,760 --> 00:49:28,279
Speaker 1: I'm so happy that our paths crossed. We had such

991
00:49:28,320 --> 00:49:29,959
Speaker 1: a good day to get Yeah, it was so nice.

992
00:49:30,000 --> 00:49:32,040
Speaker 1: I love chatting with you and I love your clothes. Look,

993
00:49:32,320 --> 00:49:34,680
Speaker 1: look you're wearing my vest. You're wearing me by Jenny Garth.

994
00:49:35,719 --> 00:49:37,560
Speaker 1: It's Me by Jenny Garth. There you go. What are

995
00:49:37,600 --> 00:49:38,640
Speaker 1: you wearing me?

996
00:49:38,640 --> 00:49:39,879
Speaker 2: Me by Jenny Garth.

997
00:49:41,719 --> 00:49:42,239
Speaker 1: Thanks.

998
00:49:42,320 --> 00:49:45,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm gonna go pick up my gut now, Okay,