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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam. This is John the og story

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Speaker 1: Time podcast host.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, and we got some great stories coming up.

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Speaker 3: But before that, we get a teeny two minute break

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Speaker 3: from the sponsors that keep the show propped up like

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Speaker 3: a little house.

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Speaker 4: Oh ye, my girlfriend cheated on me and her parents

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Speaker 4: took her back to their country. Good girlfriend and I

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Speaker 4: have been together for six years since we met at

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Speaker 4: orientation week in university.

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Speaker 1: We were each other's.

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Speaker 4: First ever relationship, kiss, spicy, related relationship, et cetera. We've

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Speaker 4: had a largely uneventful relationship, many many ups and some downs,

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Speaker 4: but we worked through it as we grew up from

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Speaker 4: being teens into young graduates and professionals. By the way,

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Speaker 4: this comes from throw Me two thousand and if you

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Speaker 4: will smit your own stories, go to the rs slash

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Speaker 4: Okay Storytime supperate it. So last year, around October she

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Speaker 4: cheated on me. I was in my final year of

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Speaker 4: medical school. For six months prior, I was overseas for rotations.

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Speaker 4: Then when I came back, I studied and crammed for

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Speaker 4: a month for my final exams. During that time, our

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Speaker 4: relationship was very strained, firstly by the distance and then

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Speaker 4: by my exams. During the rough patch. She befriended her

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Speaker 4: coworker in the pharmacy she works at. On the day

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Speaker 4: she cheated, it was a couple of days before my finals.

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Speaker 4: We had a fight in the morning about me waking

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Speaker 4: her up after I got in at four am from

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Speaker 4: the library. She said I was neglecting her and not

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Speaker 4: considering her needs. I apologize for being so stressed out

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Speaker 4: and not being a good boyfriend for the last few weeks.

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Speaker 4: She said she was frustrated and we'd have a serious

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Speaker 4: talk after her work. She went off to work, then

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Speaker 4: decided to have some drinks with her coworkers. She got

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Speaker 4: schwated and ended up having some spicy times with one

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Speaker 4: of the guys in the toilets of a bar. She

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Speaker 4: freaked out and called a mutual friend, who picked her up.

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Speaker 4: She then immediately confessed to me what had happened the

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Speaker 4: same night, and she was genuinely shaken and crying about

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Speaker 4: the incident. At that point, I was just numb and

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Speaker 4: frazzled from studying. I completely blocked all my feelings out

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Speaker 4: and focused on my final studies. Since that night, she

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Speaker 4: has been the perfect girlfriend. She resigned from her old work,

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Speaker 4: which she really enjoyed. She has been completely understanding and

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Speaker 4: tolerated me, even when I was so cold to initially.

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Speaker 4: After the discovery, she has been an absolute saint and

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Speaker 4: has been trying her hardest to save the relationship. The

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Speaker 4: problem is, I just can't get myself to give a

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Speaker 4: crap about any of it. And that's okay, you don't

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Speaker 4: have to. It doesn't really matter how hard a person

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Speaker 4: tries after they cheat on you, because they still cheated

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Speaker 4: on you and you're still allowed to go. I can't

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Speaker 4: forgive you for that, no matter what you do.

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Speaker 1: That's fine.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, if you close your eyes and the first thing

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Speaker 2: you see isn't like her giving you a hug, it's

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Speaker 2: her in the bathroom with her, Okay, Yeah, it's gonna

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Speaker 2: be hard to come back from that.

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Speaker 4: When she first told me, I was numb to the

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Speaker 4: whole thing. Since then, I haven't experienced any strong emotions.

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Speaker 4: I just can't seem to give an f about it.

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Speaker 4: I'm not angry at her, but when I see her,

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Speaker 4: all I feel is discussed. I know rationally she is

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Speaker 4: doing everything right and is being so understanding, but even

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Speaker 4: then I can't seem to muster any emotion for me

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Speaker 4: other than disgust and indifference. She's tried to kiss me.

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Speaker 4: I have spicy sleep since the incident, and all I

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Speaker 4: could manage so far are half hearted hugs. I asked

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Speaker 4: her not to come to my graduation, which really hurt

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Speaker 4: her feelings, but she completely abided. Every time I reject

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Speaker 4: her advances, I see her sadness, and that makes me

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Speaker 4: feel sad as well. But I can't get myself motivated

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Speaker 4: to move on from the incident. I know that time

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Speaker 4: and therapy will help overcome my numbness, but I don't

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Speaker 4: feel like doing it. I've already lessened in my disgust,

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Speaker 4: but I feel that even if she were one hundred

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Speaker 4: percent faithful for the rest of our lives, this incident

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Speaker 4: will always be in the back of my mind. Also,

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Speaker 4: I feel relationships shouldn't be this hard this early on.

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Speaker 4: If we're going going to therapy to deal with the

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Speaker 4: guilt and resentment in our twenties, I can't imagine how

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Speaker 4: bad our relationship will be when we are in our thirties,

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Speaker 4: with the stress of finances and kids, etc. I have

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Speaker 4: discussed my feelings with girlfriend over the holidays. I've told

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Speaker 4: her that I feel every other aspect of my life

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Speaker 4: is fine. I've been getting into shape over the past

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Speaker 4: two years. I've just started working as a doctor, which

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Speaker 4: I absolutely love.

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Speaker 2: I've got a.

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Speaker 4: Good apartment and new friends, etc. The only part of

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Speaker 4: my life bringing me down is this relationship. However, she

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Speaker 4: is unwilling to accept a break up. She says she

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Speaker 4: always she will always fight for us, even if I

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Speaker 4: don't want to. I've already moved out away from her,

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Speaker 4: but she always stays over in my new apartment. I

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Speaker 4: know I could easily just get her keys back and

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Speaker 4: block her from my apartment, but I feel like that

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Speaker 4: would be heartless after all the effort she has put in. Dude,

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Speaker 4: let her go. I've discussed this with my friends and

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Speaker 4: most agree I should at least try and salvage the relationship.

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Speaker 4: Your friends are telling you to salvage the relationship.

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Speaker 2: They're lying to no lying no no no no no

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Speaker 2: no no no no no no. That's gotta be like

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Speaker 2: a He's going to his friends and then he's being like,

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Speaker 2: I just love her so much, bro, just he's probably

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Speaker 2: giving them a reason to be like I maybe try try.

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Speaker 2: He's probably he's definitely framing it in a way where

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Speaker 2: it's like, well, there's something there.

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Speaker 4: But even then I still can't muster the willpower to

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Speaker 4: actually try. I'm very happy to move on with my life,

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Speaker 4: but I kind of feel guilty for not trying. So

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Speaker 4: my question is, should I try and save this relationship,

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Speaker 4: which is what everyone and my rational part says, or

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Speaker 4: go with my gut and move on. There is an update, folks,

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Speaker 4: but uh, I need you to update me with your thoughts.

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Speaker 2: In the words of Kimberly, fine, you're just gonna remember

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Speaker 2: that touts No, I can't even say I can't even

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Speaker 2: say funny. Can't even say funny. That was so funny.

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Speaker 2: I can't say it here. But it's like, every time

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Speaker 2: she does a nice thing for you, it's gonna be

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Speaker 2: like the principle of like the guy when you're like,

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Speaker 2: I don't think about elephants, and now you immediately think

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Speaker 2: about elephants. Every time she does a great thing for you,

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Speaker 2: you're gonna think back to when she was in you know,

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Speaker 2: Flute and Tutin's Bar or whatever it was called with Joshmo.

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Speaker 4: Joshmo, I feel over at Flute and Tutin Briology says

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Speaker 4: guaranteed one hundred do.

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Speaker 2: You just you just you just leave, you just leave.

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Speaker 4: But folks, there's an update. Thanks for the advice everyone.

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Speaker 4: Several posts really at home. Firstly that she is being

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Speaker 4: selfish by push by pushing to continue the relationship. Secondly,

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Speaker 4: my feelings are justified even if my friends keep pushing

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Speaker 4: for reconciliation. Thirdly, that breaking up is the way to go. Fourthly,

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Speaker 4: that if I loved her, I would be able to

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Speaker 4: forgive those want those words, and some introspection got me

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Speaker 4: to understand that the ambivalence I am feeling towards her

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Speaker 4: is because I don't love her anymore.

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Speaker 1: The moment she cheated.

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Speaker 4: Is the moment when all my love was replaced with disgust,

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Speaker 4: and I'm just wasting both of our time. I realize

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Speaker 4: the only reason and I hadn't broken up with her

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Speaker 4: was because I was being meek, lazy, going for the

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Speaker 4: path with least resistance. Two days ago, I decided a

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Speaker 4: man up knew indeed, I took the day off work.

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Speaker 4: I called three mutual friends and they came to my

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Speaker 4: apartment to pack her stuff up. I then called her

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Speaker 4: over to visit me after work. She had a half day.

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Speaker 4: When she came over, I explained to her why I

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Speaker 4: was breaking up, and then I am giving back her

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Speaker 4: stuff and the gifts she bought, and will reimburse her

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Speaker 4: for the Antarctica trip. I told her I don't love

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Speaker 4: her anymore. All I feel is discussed and it's been

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Speaker 4: a few months. These feelings won't change and the relationship

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Speaker 4: has passed away. The relationship is done. She wailed and

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Speaker 4: cried and said she too.

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Speaker 1: Better give her another chance. I'm the only man for her.

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Speaker 1: We're supposed to get married, have kids, et cetera. Adul't

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Speaker 1: throw our future away.

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Speaker 2: You did that, and not only it's now, I'm also

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Speaker 2: being like, ugh, are you just doing this because because

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Speaker 2: I'm going to be a doctor, Like you're like, yeah,

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Speaker 2: because you're the only one for me, because my life

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Speaker 2: was gonna be easy, you were gonna make a lot

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Speaker 2: of money.

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Speaker 4: Frankly, all her emotions had no effect on me. I

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Speaker 4: just couldn't give a single f which just confirmed my

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Speaker 4: intuition was right. She started causing a scene, so my

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Speaker 4: mutual friends escorted her out. She took her staff, but

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Speaker 4: left me her gifts and said she doesn't want my money.

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Speaker 4: I told her to keep no contact and lose my

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Speaker 4: number and give me back my house keys. We parted

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Speaker 4: and I thought that was that. As I said, her

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Speaker 4: parents are crazy traditional Indians. My dad called me yesterday

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Speaker 4: to tell me about the shenanigans my ex girlfriend's parents polled.

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Speaker 4: After I broke up, ex girlfriend went to her parents' house.

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Speaker 4: Ex girlfriend's dad and two brothers then stormed into my parents' house,

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Speaker 4: taking talking all sorts of trash about how I am

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Speaker 4: a player, dirt pickle who ruined their daughter, how my

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Speaker 4: family owes no honor and I have to marry the

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Speaker 4: daughter if we would decent people.

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Speaker 1: Lol.

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Speaker 4: They also threatened to ruin our reputation in the Indian

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Speaker 4: community if we don't. My dad told them that I

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Speaker 4: broke up with her or due to cheating, not the

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Speaker 4: other way around. My dad has proof and will tell

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Speaker 4: the rest of the Indian community about their daughters orring

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Speaker 4: around if he hears anything negative about my family. They

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Speaker 4: asked to see the proof, so my dad showed them

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Speaker 4: the emails ex girlfriends sent to me after her cheating,

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Speaker 4: which I had forwarded to my brother for his advice.

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Speaker 4: Ex girlfriend's family apologized us us not to say anything

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Speaker 4: and then left, you're enough.

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Speaker 2: You're gonna have to give me some more reasons not

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Speaker 2: to say anything after barging into my house and accusing

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Speaker 2: me of all this shenaniganry.

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Speaker 4: And we have a unanimous vote to leave, which is

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Speaker 4: what hope he did.

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Speaker 2: Thank God.

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Speaker 4: Today I got a couple of calls from mutual friends.

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Speaker 4: Apparently ex girlfriend's parents are dragging ex girlfriend back to

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Speaker 4: India and will probably get her an arranged marriage. Some

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Speaker 4: of my friends suggested I reconciled to save her from this.

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Speaker 4: I told them to shut up and stop trying to

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Speaker 4: influence my love life. If they feel so bad of

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Speaker 4: the situation, then they should marry her before she gets

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Speaker 4: taken to India. If they can't respect my feelings, then

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Speaker 4: they should lose my number. Frankly, I couldn't care less

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Speaker 4: about some of these mutual friends. I've made new friends

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Speaker 4: at work, so I don't care if I lose some

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Speaker 4: old friends over the breakup.

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Speaker 2: He said, I'm actually a hot doctor making hot doctor friends.

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Speaker 2: But I don't care what these layme os have to say.

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Speaker 2: If there's anyone in our community that's on the other

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Speaker 2: side of this coin, and you you know, I just

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Speaker 2: don't want people to think that these stories constitute blanket statements.

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Speaker 2: There are context in which infidelity can happen in a

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Speaker 2: relationship and people can forgive each other and it's fine.

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Speaker 2: This is just not one of those times.

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Speaker 5: No.

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Speaker 4: To get over infidelity, there has to be work on

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Speaker 4: both sides. Both sides have to be willing to uh forgive,

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Speaker 4: you know, work on that forget to giveness, prove that

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Speaker 4: they can be trustworthy. There's like a lot of a

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Speaker 4: lot of a lot of a lot of work that

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Speaker 4: needs to be done to get over infidelity. It is

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Speaker 4: not a passive process.

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Speaker 2: And does he does not have the time for that.

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Speaker 4: And also it's totally okay to be like, I don't

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Speaker 4: want to do that work, right, I can't do that.

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Speaker 4: I don't feel like I you know, I don't feel

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Speaker 4: invested in that process.

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Speaker 2: That's okay, Yeah, I just yeah, that's all I ought.

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Speaker 2: Because I've already said everything I thought about this throughout

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Speaker 2: the whole story.

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Speaker 4: Okay, I've been busy at work and loving every moment

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Speaker 4: of it, even the crap parts. When I do a

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Speaker 4: rectal exam on some sixty year old guy, it feels

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Speaker 4: like a weight has been lifted off of me. I'm

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Speaker 4: going to focus on being single for the next year

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Speaker 4: and just enjoy it. My parents are also glad I

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Speaker 4: broke up. Apparently they hated ex girlfriend because she had

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Speaker 4: no clue about her Indian background, couldn't speak the language,

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Speaker 4: didn't know our history, et cetera. They've gotten off my

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Speaker 4: back about marriage and said they wouldn't push for it

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Speaker 4: at least for the next few years. Everything's coming up Millhouse.

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Speaker 4: I hope there's no more Bollywood style shenanigans and drama

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Speaker 4: for my ex girlfriend's parents and that is the end

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Speaker 4: of that story.

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Speaker 2: I left my fiance after I caught her cheating. Now

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Speaker 2: her family.

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Speaker 1: Broke Is that correlation or causation?

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Speaker 2: We'll find out. There's a trigger warning here mentions of

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Speaker 2: us and keep that in mind. So I come here

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Speaker 2: for advice because everyone in my family and friends circle

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Speaker 2: thinks I'm overreacting and need to forgive and the usual bs.

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Speaker 2: So I want to know if you guys think the

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Speaker 2: same thing. Let's give you the context first. I paul

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Speaker 2: A Trade's thirty three male, met my fiance Andrea, thirty

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Speaker 2: two female, in high school. We were both fifteen at

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Speaker 2: the time, and since then we've stayed together. We had

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Speaker 2: our rough patches when I went to study in a

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Speaker 2: nearby city, but I used to visit her regularly. When

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Speaker 2: I finally finished my studies and was able to work

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Speaker 2: in the town we both are from, things got better.

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Speaker 2: And by the way, this comes from user Mortar spelled

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Speaker 2: with like numbers instead of letters, which is really cool.

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Speaker 2: And if you want to submit your own stories, go

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Speaker 2: to the r slashowcase story time subredd it. I have

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Speaker 2: to add Andrea comes from a really poor family. We're

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Speaker 2: talking eight siblings, a house made out of wood and

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Speaker 2: a zinc roof got a less South America standards. So

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Speaker 2: knowing this, I was mostly the provider of our relationship,

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Speaker 2: it didn't bother me. I loved to take her out

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Speaker 2: to eat ice cream and see her smile, same when

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Speaker 2: I took her on car rides in my father's car.

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Speaker 2: As time progressed, the things I could afford got better.

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Speaker 2: Since I studied it and landed a high paying job

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Speaker 2: working at the town bank, I was almost set for life.

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Speaker 2: I could say to that I got myself a nice

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Speaker 2: place to live that I rented from an old man.

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Speaker 2: My parents knew. We're talking one of those ranch houses

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Speaker 2: with plenty of rooms. To spare and two floors. Also,

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Speaker 2: she could live in a bigger house than she used

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Speaker 2: to stay in. Then one day she asked me if

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Speaker 2: her parents and two of her sisters twelve female and

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Speaker 2: fourteen female, could come live with us since their living

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Speaker 2: conditions were really bad. I knew that, so I said yes,

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Speaker 2: we had rooms to spare, and we weren't expecting a child,

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Speaker 2: so why not, I thought, I knew them, and even

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Speaker 2: humble as they are, they're good people. Fast forward, I

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Speaker 2: helped pay for private school for her two sisters, plus

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Speaker 2: some medical treatment for her mother. I must say. The

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Speaker 2: rest of their brothers tried to pitch in some money,

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Speaker 2: but mostly had day to day jobs. And you know

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Speaker 2: how the economy is down here, not very good for

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Speaker 2: day labor. So it never bothered me helping them because

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Speaker 2: I could. Now comes the famous D day. Now comes

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Speaker 2: the famous D Day. We got invited to the birthday

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Speaker 2: of one of her nephews, and I told her she

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Speaker 2: should go first. Then after I was out, I'd go.

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Speaker 2: I arrived two hours later and asked one of her

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Speaker 2: nephews where she was. He pointed me toward the restroom

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Speaker 2: place that the park has, So I walked over there,

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Speaker 2: and I turned the corner to see my fiance hugging

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Speaker 2: and kissing one of her family friends. She saw me,

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Speaker 2: of course, she panicked told me, this is not what

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Speaker 2: it looks like. I bolted toward my car. That was

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Speaker 2: a funny scene, me running out of the situation because

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Speaker 2: it made other kids follow me, thinking I was playing

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Speaker 2: a game. But her family picked up fast at some

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Speaker 2: was happening, and she started banging on my glass windows

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Speaker 2: and screaming as I turned the car on and drove off.

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Speaker 2: I have no idea what happened after that, just know

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Speaker 2: that I felt like crap and went to my parents'

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Speaker 2: place and hid in one of their empty rooms. After

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Speaker 2: a week, I had to face her, of course, and

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Speaker 2: return home to see a whole congregation, basically, her whole

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Speaker 2: family was there. Imagine two parents, eight fing siblings with

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Speaker 2: kids included, and her all coming together to try to

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Speaker 2: see if I could forgive her, if I could see

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Speaker 2: past the betrayal.

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Speaker 4: Okay, normally I'm like, no, they're awful, agl you know,

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Speaker 4: why are they even trying it?

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Speaker 1: Obviously is still not right.

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Speaker 4: But it makes a lot of sense for the family

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Speaker 4: to be involved, because you're paying for everything right.

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Speaker 1: They're like, oh my god, she's an idiot. I'm so sorry.

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Speaker 2: Please correct. We kind of fought a little bit, but

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Speaker 2: of course I was overwhelmed. Then I asked the question

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Speaker 2: if the cheating had been going on for long. She

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Speaker 2: didn't answer, so I just walked away to a bunch

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Speaker 2: of people screaming at me to come back. Don't be

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Speaker 2: a coward, try to see beyond this. You get the idea.

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Speaker 2: Then three days later I asked her to talk alone.

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Speaker 2: I told a couple of mutual friends to help us,

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Speaker 2: and we set up a meeting. Then as I arrived,

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Speaker 2: first I explained to them, then told them who he

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Speaker 2: was and all that, And then I learned from one

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Speaker 2: of my friends that the guy she was with was

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Speaker 2: one of her exes from what period. I don't really know,

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Speaker 2: and I don't want to know, so you get the idea.

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Speaker 2: The moment I learned of that information, I dropped the

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Speaker 2: meeting and sent her a message saying it was canceled

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Speaker 2: and I was going to go pack my stuff, and

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Speaker 2: so I did. Two weeks later, after the whole fight,

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Speaker 2: I was moving out of the place back to my parents' place.

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Speaker 2: We fought a lot and I had to face each

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Speaker 2: and every single one of them trying to convince me

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Speaker 2: to forgive their sister's mistake, but I ended up blocking them,

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Speaker 2: putting my foot down, telling them it's not their business.

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Speaker 2: Then her friends showed up, even some of my friends too,

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Speaker 2: saying it was just a mistake and blah de saddi

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Speaker 2: blaody blah. Then what hurt the most was both of

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Speaker 2: my parents saying that seeing me like that wasn't right,

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Speaker 2: and perhaps I should forgive and fix our relationship. In

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Speaker 2: this whole parade of people, nobody gave a dang how

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00:17:14,480 --> 00:17:18,280
Speaker 2: I was doing, only about our relationship, to which I

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00:17:18,400 --> 00:17:21,040
Speaker 2: ended up cutting ties with most of them, beside some

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00:17:21,080 --> 00:17:23,320
Speaker 2: of my best friends and my parents on a low

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Speaker 2: contact deal as I moved to a one by one

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Speaker 2: crappy block apartment I could rent fast. Now two months

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Speaker 2: after the whole ordeal, I paid the last month of rent,

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Speaker 2: then cut ties with all payments. The house I was

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00:17:37,280 --> 00:17:41,080
Speaker 2: renting gone, the private school gone, her mother's medical treatment

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Speaker 2: and pills gone also. And I must say I was

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Speaker 2: doing all of this while supporting two teenagers, two retired folks,

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Speaker 2: and a housewife who barely finished nursing school. You get

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Speaker 2: the idea. When the bill came to her, she lost

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Speaker 2: it and came running to my parents, expecting to find me,

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Speaker 2: but she didn't, so she went to my work and

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00:17:58,359 --> 00:18:01,040
Speaker 2: came to talk. When I went out, she groveled and

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00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:04,359
Speaker 2: cried that she didn't want this for us, and asked

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Speaker 2: to give her another chance, if not for her, for

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Speaker 2: her mother. I said that I had no attachment anymore

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Speaker 2: to her or her family and drove off. Now she's

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Speaker 2: talked with most of the people in my circle again,

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Speaker 2: and of course they say I shouldn't be this cruel,

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Speaker 2: that I have the money to spare, And to that,

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Speaker 2: I'd say, do you want to give them the money?

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Speaker 1: Give them the money yourself? Have you feeling so helpful?

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00:18:25,960 --> 00:18:29,720
Speaker 2: Hey? I think if all of you pulled your resources together,

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00:18:29,840 --> 00:18:33,119
Speaker 2: you guys could provide for all that yep, bye, and

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00:18:33,160 --> 00:18:35,600
Speaker 2: then you got you guys could all share in being

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Speaker 2: such great people together.

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Speaker 4: I don't understand why people think that, like when people

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Speaker 4: are generous in your life, that you can do literally

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Speaker 4: anything and still expect them to keep up that same generosity.

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Speaker 2: It's just the well, because you have it and I don't,

389
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Speaker 2: but I should, So you need to get with babes

390
00:18:51,200 --> 00:18:55,359
Speaker 2: outwe My parents again even said why would I let

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Speaker 2: them suffer all this time? That I should have a

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Speaker 2: little more compassion for them, to which I think, who

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00:19:01,680 --> 00:19:04,080
Speaker 2: has compassion for me? So readit? Am I the ale

394
00:19:04,119 --> 00:19:07,040
Speaker 2: here for cutting the payments and possibly unliving grandma because

395
00:19:07,080 --> 00:19:09,840
Speaker 2: I stopped paying or caring that they go back to

396
00:19:09,880 --> 00:19:12,480
Speaker 2: their crabhole house because they can't pay the other one

397
00:19:13,160 --> 00:19:17,200
Speaker 2: like the thing else? No, no, because then it's like, okay, yeah,

398
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Speaker 2: if we make you with the a hole because you're

399
00:19:18,880 --> 00:19:21,240
Speaker 2: not paying for her grandma's bills and because you just

400
00:19:21,320 --> 00:19:23,439
Speaker 2: know of her existence, where does that stop. It's like,

401
00:19:23,480 --> 00:19:26,600
Speaker 2: now you're an a hole for not paying every grandma's bills.

402
00:19:27,440 --> 00:19:29,439
Speaker 1: Why aren't you paying for my grandma's bills?

403
00:19:29,520 --> 00:19:31,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, you've got the money for it. Give me my

404
00:19:31,359 --> 00:19:32,800
Speaker 2: give my grandma her bill money.

405
00:19:32,680 --> 00:19:35,639
Speaker 1: Give my grandma her bill money. Like, no, you're not.

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Speaker 4: If they wanted to for you to continue to fund

407
00:19:39,119 --> 00:19:42,399
Speaker 4: things after this happened, you still would have had a

408
00:19:42,480 --> 00:19:44,200
Speaker 4: right to say no. But they could have gone about

409
00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:46,159
Speaker 4: it in a way where it's like, I'm so sorry

410
00:19:46,160 --> 00:19:49,080
Speaker 4: that she did that to you. If there is any

411
00:19:49,160 --> 00:19:51,400
Speaker 4: way that you could continue to loan us some money

412
00:19:51,480 --> 00:19:54,240
Speaker 4: while we try and you know, get our bit, get

413
00:19:54,240 --> 00:19:56,720
Speaker 4: back on our feet. Blah blah blah. Maybe that would

414
00:19:56,720 --> 00:20:00,280
Speaker 4: have been reasonable. They're literally harassing you and so saying

415
00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:02,639
Speaker 4: that like trying to guilt you into giving them money

416
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Speaker 4: and staying with their daughter.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, they're basically being like, Grandma's fate is on your

418
00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:11,000
Speaker 2: hands this year, you're un alive in Grandma's Actually, I

419
00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:14,280
Speaker 2: think Grandma's fates on my ex girlfriend's lips. Think about that.

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Speaker 2: Let's give me to this edit. First of all, I

421
00:20:15,720 --> 00:20:18,280
Speaker 2: want to apologize to all of you for reading such

422
00:20:18,280 --> 00:20:20,920
Speaker 2: a mess of a text. I wrote it on my phone,

423
00:20:20,960 --> 00:20:22,800
Speaker 2: but that's no excuse. I should have put it on

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00:20:22,840 --> 00:20:25,359
Speaker 2: work guy. It's fine. Secondly, I want to thank you

425
00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:28,359
Speaker 2: for all the comments. I was really overwhelmed here and

426
00:20:28,400 --> 00:20:31,480
Speaker 2: I really needed someone else's input who could understand my

427
00:20:31,520 --> 00:20:33,879
Speaker 2: point of view. Sides a couple of best friends. The

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00:20:33,920 --> 00:20:36,480
Speaker 2: majority wanted me to forgive and move back. But now

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00:20:36,560 --> 00:20:38,960
Speaker 2: I think I get the message. I'll try to move

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Speaker 2: on and block everyone. For my parents, I'll stay low

431
00:20:41,920 --> 00:20:44,480
Speaker 2: context since I do understand why they kind of side

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Speaker 2: with her, but I don't want to hear what they

433
00:20:46,600 --> 00:20:49,520
Speaker 2: have to say. And as for my fiance, I'll try

434
00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:51,679
Speaker 2: to stay away as much as I can. I know

435
00:20:51,800 --> 00:20:54,680
Speaker 2: it would be hard, being in this small town and all,

436
00:20:54,960 --> 00:20:57,040
Speaker 2: But right now I feel like crap, and I don't

437
00:20:57,040 --> 00:20:59,000
Speaker 2: want to know the whole story of why and when.

438
00:20:59,240 --> 00:21:02,160
Speaker 2: Perhaps one day, when I get the courage, I'll humiliate

439
00:21:02,200 --> 00:21:04,960
Speaker 2: myself and ask her. I thank you all very much

440
00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:07,239
Speaker 2: for the comments again, and I hope you all can

441
00:21:07,320 --> 00:21:11,400
Speaker 2: have a nice day. And there are comments. Comment one

442
00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:14,600
Speaker 2: is bro she cheated on you? Why is this even

443
00:21:14,640 --> 00:21:18,679
Speaker 2: a question? Comment two not the a hole. Sounds like

444
00:21:18,760 --> 00:21:21,280
Speaker 2: everyone knew and was keeping it quiet because they knew

445
00:21:21,359 --> 00:21:24,440
Speaker 2: you paid for everything. Tell them to back off, or

446
00:21:24,440 --> 00:21:26,800
Speaker 2: that you'll get lawyers involved to get your money back

447
00:21:26,800 --> 00:21:29,879
Speaker 2: from them. Comment three. From what I've read here, this

448
00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:32,679
Speaker 2: is not a simple betrayal, but an ongoing affair. It

449
00:21:32,720 --> 00:21:34,600
Speaker 2: sounds like it started a while ago and has either

450
00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:37,440
Speaker 2: continued for years or has started up again at some point.

451
00:21:37,920 --> 00:21:40,560
Speaker 2: It sucks that her family is impoverished, but that has

452
00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:44,359
Speaker 2: never been your responsibility. You were their golden goose, but

453
00:21:44,600 --> 00:21:47,200
Speaker 2: you are now free. The reality is that the only

454
00:21:47,240 --> 00:21:49,560
Speaker 2: thing she had going with you was your history together,

455
00:21:49,720 --> 00:21:52,080
Speaker 2: and that she has, and that has been tarnished by

456
00:21:52,080 --> 00:21:54,960
Speaker 2: her affair and the uncertainty of how long that's gone

457
00:21:54,960 --> 00:21:58,320
Speaker 2: on for and how many other guys she's eft or

458
00:21:58,359 --> 00:22:00,800
Speaker 2: at the very least smoothed. At the end of the day,

459
00:22:00,880 --> 00:22:03,560
Speaker 2: the details aren't important. The trust is gone and you're

460
00:22:03,600 --> 00:22:05,919
Speaker 2: not married and do not have children together. Go get

461
00:22:05,960 --> 00:22:09,960
Speaker 2: an STD test. Don't ruin your future happiness by listening

462
00:22:10,000 --> 00:22:12,080
Speaker 2: to what other people dictate to you, especially when it

463
00:22:12,080 --> 00:22:13,919
Speaker 2: comes to who you choose to be with. That was

464
00:22:13,960 --> 00:22:16,479
Speaker 2: such a banger. Yeah, that was like, we need air

465
00:22:16,560 --> 00:22:19,439
Speaker 2: horns after that, I'm editor air horns.

466
00:22:23,480 --> 00:22:28,960
Speaker 4: Yeah, y'all know, most of the time you know who

467
00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:32,520
Speaker 4: you want to be with. Sometimes, like in our last stories,

468
00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:37,520
Speaker 4: you know you should leave those people, but you know

469
00:22:37,560 --> 00:22:39,120
Speaker 4: in your heart that you should leave them.

470
00:22:39,640 --> 00:22:43,000
Speaker 1: Just listen, trust your gun, but.

471
00:22:43,840 --> 00:22:47,080
Speaker 2: Don't let nobody taint your heart of hearts go. Staying

472
00:22:47,080 --> 00:22:50,520
Speaker 2: with her prevents you from finding someone worthwhile that you

473
00:22:50,520 --> 00:22:54,399
Speaker 2: can trust and building something special with them. Personally, I

474
00:22:54,440 --> 00:22:57,440
Speaker 2: would not take that block them. And if you can

475
00:22:57,480 --> 00:23:00,119
Speaker 2: go on a holiday somewhere far far away for a

476
00:23:00,160 --> 00:23:02,800
Speaker 2: few weeks, do it and don't let anyone know but

477
00:23:02,880 --> 00:23:05,120
Speaker 2: your parents. It sounds like you need a break from

478
00:23:05,200 --> 00:23:09,280
Speaker 2: the drama. Comment for says, freeze your credit. Someone might

479
00:23:09,359 --> 00:23:11,600
Speaker 2: feel like you owe them and might open up some

480
00:23:11,640 --> 00:23:12,960
Speaker 2: lines of credit in your name.

481
00:23:13,040 --> 00:23:13,919
Speaker 1: Do we have an update?

482
00:23:14,720 --> 00:23:15,639
Speaker 2: So we're gonna get into that.

483
00:23:15,920 --> 00:23:16,200
Speaker 1: Well.

484
00:23:16,359 --> 00:23:18,960
Speaker 2: I never thought i'd be back writing an update, but

485
00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:21,280
Speaker 2: after a couple of private messages asking for it, and

486
00:23:21,359 --> 00:23:24,959
Speaker 2: a couple of life changing revelations and some major bad news,

487
00:23:25,520 --> 00:23:28,600
Speaker 2: I think I'm ready to write this. So before I

488
00:23:28,720 --> 00:23:31,000
Speaker 2: begin the update, I'll add some information I learned about

489
00:23:31,000 --> 00:23:34,159
Speaker 2: a month and a half ago about my ex. Basically,

490
00:23:34,320 --> 00:23:36,960
Speaker 2: a friend of hers saw my frail appearance while I

491
00:23:37,080 --> 00:23:40,119
Speaker 2: was working. I had lost about fifteen kilograms from this

492
00:23:40,160 --> 00:23:44,600
Speaker 2: whole drama, so she felt guilty about hiding so many

493
00:23:44,600 --> 00:23:47,560
Speaker 2: secrets of my ex and wrote to me on Instagram

494
00:23:47,600 --> 00:23:49,840
Speaker 2: telling me to meet up. We met up in one

495
00:23:49,880 --> 00:23:52,199
Speaker 2: of the plazas and she told me that she was

496
00:23:52,200 --> 00:23:55,040
Speaker 2: getting married soon. She felt guilty about what she hit

497
00:23:55,080 --> 00:23:58,480
Speaker 2: about my ex. For starters, she explained when it all started.

498
00:23:58,960 --> 00:24:01,720
Speaker 2: Like many guess from the previous post, it was around

499
00:24:01,720 --> 00:24:04,560
Speaker 2: the time I was doing the fourth year at university

500
00:24:05,160 --> 00:24:08,840
Speaker 2: to my graduation. Since it was a heavy time for me, personally,

501
00:24:08,880 --> 00:24:11,399
Speaker 2: I didn't come back home much, so we kept it

502
00:24:11,440 --> 00:24:13,600
Speaker 2: long distance for a time, and the stress made me

503
00:24:13,640 --> 00:24:17,359
Speaker 2: not focus on other things like social interactions and such.

504
00:24:17,720 --> 00:24:20,480
Speaker 2: During this period, she was studying to become a nurse,

505
00:24:20,880 --> 00:24:24,120
Speaker 2: but then she stopped studying. Her reasons, Oh, she didn't

506
00:24:24,160 --> 00:24:26,639
Speaker 2: have the money for it, or so she said. The

507
00:24:26,720 --> 00:24:29,920
Speaker 2: actual reason was that she got pregnant.

508
00:24:29,440 --> 00:24:33,720
Speaker 4: By the gun terminated the pregnancy.

509
00:24:33,960 --> 00:24:35,280
Speaker 1: I was about to say, because I was like, if

510
00:24:35,280 --> 00:24:36,159
Speaker 1: it was a money.

511
00:24:35,920 --> 00:24:38,320
Speaker 4: Thing, she totally could have asked him and been like, hey,

512
00:24:38,359 --> 00:24:40,080
Speaker 4: can you help me out with nursing school? And he

513
00:24:40,119 --> 00:24:42,480
Speaker 4: probably would have done it. So there had to be

514
00:24:42,520 --> 00:24:43,119
Speaker 4: something else.

515
00:24:44,119 --> 00:24:48,560
Speaker 2: Dang, man, OPI. If I'm you, I'm like, don't don't stop.

516
00:24:48,600 --> 00:24:50,000
Speaker 2: Don't tell me this. What are you telling me to

517
00:24:50,040 --> 00:24:51,760
Speaker 2: stop talking to me about this? Why are you doing

518
00:24:51,760 --> 00:24:53,879
Speaker 2: this to write this in a letter to me? And

519
00:24:53,920 --> 00:24:56,040
Speaker 2: then John said it like actually though, like would you

520
00:24:56,080 --> 00:24:58,760
Speaker 2: want to like if you're in this situation, yeah, right,

521
00:24:58,800 --> 00:25:00,600
Speaker 2: and you've got all this stuff, It's like, yeah, it's

522
00:25:00,920 --> 00:25:04,840
Speaker 2: terrible loss weight, you're distraught, you're distressed. Do you now

523
00:25:04,880 --> 00:25:08,239
Speaker 2: want to hear all of this from your friend? Or no?

524
00:25:08,880 --> 00:25:12,240
Speaker 2: I certainly don't can we get over that? Do you

525
00:25:12,240 --> 00:25:14,919
Speaker 2: want the truth or do you want peace? Peace?

526
00:25:15,480 --> 00:25:15,919
Speaker 1: I don't know.

527
00:25:15,960 --> 00:25:18,439
Speaker 4: I like, once you're already out of the relationship, I

528
00:25:18,480 --> 00:25:20,800
Speaker 4: think there is a limit to the knowledge that you

529
00:25:20,880 --> 00:25:22,359
Speaker 4: need to continue.

530
00:25:21,800 --> 00:25:22,960
Speaker 1: To hear about your ex.

531
00:25:23,080 --> 00:25:26,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, this feels like it's more for the friend. Yeah,

532
00:25:26,920 --> 00:25:28,800
Speaker 2: Like I had to get this off my chest, Like,

533
00:25:28,840 --> 00:25:31,119
Speaker 2: can you maybe do that? Just anyone? Do it to

534
00:25:31,280 --> 00:25:35,240
Speaker 2: someone else, please, anyone else on earth. I don't want

535
00:25:35,240 --> 00:25:39,280
Speaker 2: to know. Her friend was there at that moment and

536
00:25:39,359 --> 00:25:42,280
Speaker 2: told me that after that happened, she started to hate

537
00:25:42,280 --> 00:25:45,000
Speaker 2: the hospital and she dropped out of college. Yet she

538
00:25:45,160 --> 00:25:48,640
Speaker 2: kept seeing this guy until I came back after I graduated.

539
00:25:49,000 --> 00:25:51,960
Speaker 2: She then told me that he is a trucker. Hence

540
00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:56,040
Speaker 2: their escapades were few, but still enough. In the years

541
00:25:56,080 --> 00:25:58,840
Speaker 2: that I was with my ex. The reason you guys

542
00:25:58,920 --> 00:26:01,679
Speaker 2: guessed it it was that he was better than me

543
00:26:01,760 --> 00:26:04,679
Speaker 2: in bed. It wasn't love or attention, it was just

544
00:26:05,280 --> 00:26:08,880
Speaker 2: the horizontal mumbo. Later, during our time together, while also

545
00:26:08,920 --> 00:26:11,480
Speaker 2: trying for a kid ourselves, she got pregnant a second time.

546
00:26:11,920 --> 00:26:14,560
Speaker 2: She didn't know who the father was, not wanting to

547
00:26:14,640 --> 00:26:16,359
Speaker 2: risk the life she had at the time, she called

548
00:26:16,359 --> 00:26:19,040
Speaker 2: that same friend to accompanying her to the hospital and

549
00:26:19,320 --> 00:26:22,320
Speaker 2: did it again. For me, it was just something to

550
00:26:22,400 --> 00:26:24,800
Speaker 2: do with her bladder. For what I can remember, her

551
00:26:24,800 --> 00:26:27,760
Speaker 2: friend kind of told me some more important revelations, but

552
00:26:27,800 --> 00:26:31,080
Speaker 2: I was so shocked I couldn't listen anymore, like more

553
00:26:31,119 --> 00:26:34,400
Speaker 2: times they met, or what excuses she used. That same day,

554
00:26:34,440 --> 00:26:36,080
Speaker 2: I went home and cried myself to sleep.

555
00:26:36,160 --> 00:26:38,600
Speaker 4: I just see, Okay, we're getting a lot of people

556
00:26:38,640 --> 00:26:40,879
Speaker 4: who said that they do want the truth to me.

557
00:26:41,280 --> 00:26:44,440
Speaker 4: I think it's kind of like I would be pretty

558
00:26:44,520 --> 00:26:47,480
Speaker 4: frustrated to be finding all of this out after the fact,

559
00:26:47,800 --> 00:26:51,800
Speaker 4: because it seems like the friend knew about it, Yeah,

560
00:26:51,880 --> 00:26:54,919
Speaker 4: during that when it was happening, and it is now

561
00:26:55,080 --> 00:26:59,000
Speaker 4: just telling ope, like after he's left the relationship. I

562
00:26:59,000 --> 00:27:01,720
Speaker 4: would I would be really frustrated to be like, why

563
00:27:01,760 --> 00:27:04,680
Speaker 4: are you trying to ruin my peace now by bringing

564
00:27:04,760 --> 00:27:06,679
Speaker 4: all of this up that you didn't bring while we

565
00:27:06,680 --> 00:27:08,520
Speaker 4: were you didn't bring up while we were dating.

566
00:27:08,760 --> 00:27:10,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, that would be my point. She because it's like

567
00:27:10,960 --> 00:27:13,280
Speaker 2: it feels like she's saying this, like and now I

568
00:27:13,280 --> 00:27:16,000
Speaker 2: can forgive myself, But I would just hear her with

569
00:27:16,040 --> 00:27:18,159
Speaker 2: the hey, so you should have told me that a

570
00:27:18,240 --> 00:27:20,639
Speaker 2: long time ago, So I just want to let you

571
00:27:20,680 --> 00:27:23,800
Speaker 2: know this doesn't really absolve you have any guilt. You're

572
00:27:23,800 --> 00:27:26,159
Speaker 2: gonna have to reckon with that yourself because I'm not

573
00:27:26,160 --> 00:27:29,159
Speaker 2: giving you the forgiveness. So, uh, don't talk to me,

574
00:27:29,359 --> 00:27:32,240
Speaker 2: don't call me. And I wish you would have never

575
00:27:32,240 --> 00:27:34,600
Speaker 2: told me any of this. I agreed, of course. Well,

576
00:27:34,760 --> 00:27:37,240
Speaker 2: she went to live with him, and since he goes

577
00:27:37,280 --> 00:27:39,040
Speaker 2: out most of the time due to his job, she's

578
00:27:39,040 --> 00:27:42,080
Speaker 2: staying at the place he's renting almost every time he

579
00:27:42,119 --> 00:27:43,919
Speaker 2: went out. She came to my home calling for me,

580
00:27:44,280 --> 00:27:48,040
Speaker 2: asking for forgiveness, saying how bad she felt. At the time,

581
00:27:48,080 --> 00:27:50,359
Speaker 2: I kind of felt like I was overreacting, but after

582
00:27:50,480 --> 00:27:53,080
Speaker 2: learning such things about her past, I was seething for

583
00:27:53,119 --> 00:27:55,600
Speaker 2: the next time she showed up. So that same week

584
00:27:55,680 --> 00:27:57,919
Speaker 2: I learned of her cruel past, she came to visit me.

585
00:27:58,359 --> 00:28:00,439
Speaker 2: Before I knew it, I was lashing out against her,

586
00:28:00,480 --> 00:28:03,879
Speaker 2: screaming and insulting her. It was loud enough that my

587
00:28:03,960 --> 00:28:07,160
Speaker 2: throat hurt for for three days. Then I decided that

588
00:28:07,160 --> 00:28:09,320
Speaker 2: that was enough, so I went to the police. But

589
00:28:09,400 --> 00:28:11,560
Speaker 2: when I wanted to press charges for a restraining order

590
00:28:11,560 --> 00:28:13,919
Speaker 2: against her, the policeman at the time laughed at me

591
00:28:14,040 --> 00:28:15,919
Speaker 2: like I was saying a joke and told me to

592
00:28:15,920 --> 00:28:18,040
Speaker 2: man up. I think at that point you do. Just

593
00:28:18,080 --> 00:28:20,399
Speaker 2: go to the gym and you lift heavy objects until

594
00:28:20,400 --> 00:28:22,680
Speaker 2: the anger turns into strength. I just move.

595
00:28:23,480 --> 00:28:25,680
Speaker 4: I mean, you probably have a job in life here,

596
00:28:25,720 --> 00:28:29,080
Speaker 4: but like all of your friends, freaking suck. Your family sucks.

597
00:28:29,119 --> 00:28:33,720
Speaker 4: Her family sucks. Let's out of there start over.

598
00:28:33,920 --> 00:28:37,160
Speaker 2: After that fight, I spoke seriously to my parents since

599
00:28:37,240 --> 00:28:40,360
Speaker 2: our relationship was kind of rocky from them supporting my ex.

600
00:28:40,520 --> 00:28:42,840
Speaker 2: Now they fully support me and kind of stopped that

601
00:28:43,080 --> 00:28:45,560
Speaker 2: boomerish way of thinking. I never saw my ex again

602
00:28:45,600 --> 00:28:48,320
Speaker 2: after that time. After I knew, A whole month went

603
00:28:48,360 --> 00:28:50,640
Speaker 2: by in silence while I tried to fix the bits

604
00:28:50,680 --> 00:28:52,920
Speaker 2: and pieces of my life thanks to friends and co

605
00:28:53,080 --> 00:28:55,800
Speaker 2: workers trying to cheer the gloomy guy up. And that

606
00:28:56,080 --> 00:28:57,960
Speaker 2: is the end of that story.

607
00:28:58,160 --> 00:29:00,000
Speaker 1: Oh pee, cut off these people off.

608
00:29:00,200 --> 00:29:01,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, you don't need that. It's a great place to

609
00:29:01,840 --> 00:29:02,400
Speaker 2: end that story.

610
00:29:02,440 --> 00:29:03,800
Speaker 1: Oof out of there.

611
00:29:04,040 --> 00:29:07,920
Speaker 2: Your life is on the up. Yes, upswing John here

612
00:29:08,000 --> 00:29:10,000
Speaker 2: og host, We're gonna get back to these stories, but

613
00:29:10,040 --> 00:29:12,320
Speaker 2: a quick three minute break from hops from our sponsors.

614
00:29:12,960 --> 00:29:16,120
Speaker 6: I refuse to attend my ex wife's wedding. It did

615
00:29:16,160 --> 00:29:17,280
Speaker 6: not go well with our kids.

616
00:29:17,480 --> 00:29:20,000
Speaker 1: I don't think you would want to go.

617
00:29:20,480 --> 00:29:24,000
Speaker 6: So we've been married fifteen years, together longer and have

618
00:29:24,280 --> 00:29:26,920
Speaker 6: three kids. She has a daughter from her first relationship

619
00:29:26,920 --> 00:29:30,080
Speaker 6: who is now eighteen, a classer is mine. I've done

620
00:29:30,120 --> 00:29:32,720
Speaker 6: everything for her and we have a sixteen year old

621
00:29:32,720 --> 00:29:34,960
Speaker 6: and a thirteen year old sons. By the way, this

622
00:29:35,000 --> 00:29:36,880
Speaker 6: comes from deleted if you want to spit your olwn

623
00:29:36,880 --> 00:29:39,440
Speaker 6: stories or the r slash okay story, Tom subredd it.

624
00:29:39,680 --> 00:29:42,080
Speaker 6: So now, she was upfront and honest when we got

625
00:29:42,120 --> 00:29:44,960
Speaker 6: together that she was by and it was never an

626
00:29:44,960 --> 00:29:48,000
Speaker 6: issue last year until she said she thought she was

627
00:29:48,240 --> 00:29:51,800
Speaker 6: ultimately a sapphik who had fallen in love with her

628
00:29:51,880 --> 00:29:55,000
Speaker 6: now fiance thirty five female, and it led to a

629
00:29:55,080 --> 00:29:58,360
Speaker 6: divorce as I am unwilling to open up the relationship

630
00:29:58,480 --> 00:30:03,160
Speaker 6: or consider a poly religlationship. So we've been divorced a year.

631
00:30:03,560 --> 00:30:06,160
Speaker 6: Although we are still good friends. We have a good

632
00:30:06,200 --> 00:30:10,440
Speaker 6: parenting relationship, a good co parenting relationship. Even though we're good,

633
00:30:10,760 --> 00:30:14,080
Speaker 6: I'm still suffering. I can't say I'm even close to

634
00:30:14,240 --> 00:30:17,560
Speaker 6: moving on yet. The kids live with her primarily, although

635
00:30:17,600 --> 00:30:19,760
Speaker 6: I see them a couple of times a week and

636
00:30:19,960 --> 00:30:22,800
Speaker 6: can say if I didn't have them, I'd have nothing.

637
00:30:23,320 --> 00:30:25,600
Speaker 6: So basically, I got a call from my ex earlier

638
00:30:25,640 --> 00:30:28,120
Speaker 6: on in the week saying she had to tell me

639
00:30:28,160 --> 00:30:31,520
Speaker 6: something that she is now engaged. I was shocked as

640
00:30:31,720 --> 00:30:34,000
Speaker 6: f Basically, she said they're not going to do the

641
00:30:34,040 --> 00:30:37,280
Speaker 6: typical thing and have a long engagement. They're getting into

642
00:30:37,480 --> 00:30:40,800
Speaker 6: a marriage as soon as the lockdown has been lifted,

643
00:30:41,240 --> 00:30:45,320
Speaker 6: and they're on about moving in together as soon as possible.

644
00:30:45,840 --> 00:30:48,560
Speaker 6: And there's more, and she says she wants me to

645
00:30:48,600 --> 00:30:51,440
Speaker 6: have her as the best man, and she still considers

646
00:30:51,480 --> 00:30:54,280
Speaker 6: me her best friend and can't think of anyone else

647
00:30:54,280 --> 00:30:57,000
Speaker 6: she'd rather have there. Suffice to say, I told her

648
00:30:57,000 --> 00:30:59,240
Speaker 6: I wasn't happy with it, and said I'm not going

649
00:30:59,280 --> 00:31:01,040
Speaker 6: to be her best man or don't think it'd be

650
00:31:01,080 --> 00:31:02,640
Speaker 6: a good idea for me to be at the wedding,

651
00:31:02,920 --> 00:31:05,440
Speaker 6: and definitely don't like the idea of moving someone into

652
00:31:06,200 --> 00:31:08,920
Speaker 6: or around my kids. After a year now, my kids

653
00:31:08,960 --> 00:31:11,720
Speaker 6: love the fiance, My kids are always talking about her.

654
00:31:11,960 --> 00:31:15,640
Speaker 6: Sufficed to say, she was upset and we haven't spoken since.

655
00:31:16,240 --> 00:31:18,840
Speaker 6: I mean, if that is what it is, then I

656
00:31:19,560 --> 00:31:22,000
Speaker 6: then I wouldn't be that upset. I mean, in what

657
00:31:22,200 --> 00:31:25,400
Speaker 6: way is going to a wedding seeing my wife Mary,

658
00:31:25,440 --> 00:31:27,760
Speaker 6: the woman who she left me for, seems like a

659
00:31:27,760 --> 00:31:30,480
Speaker 6: good idea and to be the best man. My kids

660
00:31:30,520 --> 00:31:35,160
Speaker 6: found out, though, somehow are really upset. My daughter particularly

661
00:31:35,200 --> 00:31:37,400
Speaker 6: really went off and says she thought I was better

662
00:31:37,480 --> 00:31:39,240
Speaker 6: than that and if I don't want to be in

663
00:31:39,240 --> 00:31:42,400
Speaker 6: the wedding, she'll never talk to me again. The youngest

664
00:31:42,520 --> 00:31:44,800
Speaker 6: dud don't want to come and see me this week

665
00:31:44,880 --> 00:31:47,640
Speaker 6: and also have refused to talk to me. I'm still

666
00:31:47,640 --> 00:31:49,840
Speaker 6: close and have a relationship with my in laws, and

667
00:31:49,880 --> 00:31:52,360
Speaker 6: they've also been on my case about saying I should go,

668
00:31:52,760 --> 00:31:56,040
Speaker 6: especially for my kid's sake. There's where I need help

669
00:31:56,280 --> 00:31:57,239
Speaker 6: and someone to talk to.

670
00:31:57,680 --> 00:31:58,240
Speaker 1: What do I do?

671
00:31:58,360 --> 00:31:59,880
Speaker 6: I mean, it's the last thing I want to do

672
00:32:00,320 --> 00:32:02,400
Speaker 6: is to be false and go to a wedding watching

673
00:32:02,400 --> 00:32:05,240
Speaker 6: the woman who I thought I'd be with forever marry

674
00:32:05,280 --> 00:32:05,880
Speaker 6: someone else.

675
00:32:06,320 --> 00:32:06,560
Speaker 1: Yeah.

676
00:32:06,600 --> 00:32:08,760
Speaker 6: I hate the thought of my kids are suffering and

677
00:32:08,800 --> 00:32:11,240
Speaker 6: the prospect of not having them in my life, even

678
00:32:11,320 --> 00:32:17,160
Speaker 6: for a short while is like torture. Help dang, how

679
00:32:17,240 --> 00:32:18,200
Speaker 6: long do you have to be there for?

680
00:32:18,720 --> 00:32:22,160
Speaker 1: Can you be there for? Like a minute? Show up?

681
00:32:22,240 --> 00:32:25,960
Speaker 1: And I was there, Yeah, what do you want?

682
00:32:25,960 --> 00:32:28,280
Speaker 7: You just didn't see me, You just weren't looking with

683
00:32:29,160 --> 00:32:34,160
Speaker 7: saying there, Yeah, that's not my yeah, uh Pattis Patty

684
00:32:34,440 --> 00:32:34,800
Speaker 7: says it.

685
00:32:34,880 --> 00:32:36,240
Speaker 1: Do it for dam Yeah.

686
00:32:36,280 --> 00:32:39,600
Speaker 7: I feel like, maybe go for the kids if that's

687
00:32:39,640 --> 00:32:40,600
Speaker 7: really what they're upset about.

688
00:32:40,600 --> 00:32:42,680
Speaker 1: Did you get how old they are again? Thirteen?

689
00:32:43,240 --> 00:32:44,360
Speaker 6: Like sixteen and eighteen?

690
00:32:44,800 --> 00:32:46,920
Speaker 1: Oh wow, okay, so they're young, but not.

691
00:32:46,880 --> 00:32:48,280
Speaker 6: Like that young teenagers.

692
00:32:48,400 --> 00:32:51,800
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, maybe maybe go for the kids, but maybe be.

693
00:32:51,800 --> 00:32:54,720
Speaker 7: Like, hey, I just don't feel comfortable being your best

694
00:32:54,720 --> 00:32:58,120
Speaker 7: man because you know, because it's just it just feels

695
00:32:58,160 --> 00:32:59,840
Speaker 7: weird to me. This is just a boundary that I

696
00:32:59,880 --> 00:33:01,680
Speaker 7: know to put up. But I can maybe be for

697
00:33:01,720 --> 00:33:03,760
Speaker 7: the there for the wedding. I don't know if I'll

698
00:33:03,760 --> 00:33:06,920
Speaker 7: stay for the whole time now that is uncomfortable.

699
00:33:07,080 --> 00:33:10,120
Speaker 6: Chat has some thoughts here, What if she was marrying

700
00:33:10,160 --> 00:33:11,880
Speaker 6: another man? Would be different?

701
00:33:12,480 --> 00:33:14,400
Speaker 1: Interesting? I think so?

702
00:33:14,560 --> 00:33:17,160
Speaker 6: I think I think it's the same. I would go

703
00:33:17,800 --> 00:33:21,000
Speaker 6: to see my eggs that I was gonna be with forever. Yeah,

704
00:33:21,160 --> 00:33:22,120
Speaker 6: be with another person.

705
00:33:22,280 --> 00:33:25,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think I think that would be the same feeling.

706
00:33:26,480 --> 00:33:29,680
Speaker 7: If not works in a way, because because then that

707
00:33:29,720 --> 00:33:31,880
Speaker 7: would I mean, that would change the whole divorce reason,

708
00:33:31,920 --> 00:33:34,360
Speaker 7: because if they got divorced because she realized that she

709
00:33:34,880 --> 00:33:37,680
Speaker 7: wanted to be with a woman, then it's like, you know,

710
00:33:37,720 --> 00:33:39,200
Speaker 7: and then she ended up being with a man, It's

711
00:33:39,200 --> 00:33:39,840
Speaker 7: like what the heck?

712
00:33:40,040 --> 00:33:42,120
Speaker 1: Like wait, what you know?

713
00:33:42,280 --> 00:33:46,120
Speaker 7: But yeah, I feel like I don't think it's about

714
00:33:46,160 --> 00:33:48,560
Speaker 7: any sort of like homophobia if that's what that suggests.

715
00:33:48,640 --> 00:33:51,280
Speaker 6: No, definitely not. But we got some comments. One, I

716
00:33:51,320 --> 00:33:53,320
Speaker 6: get it. It took me seven years to get over

717
00:33:53,360 --> 00:33:55,520
Speaker 6: the hurt of my ex cheating before I let it

718
00:33:55,560 --> 00:33:59,120
Speaker 6: be able to pursue another long term relationship. So why

719
00:33:59,280 --> 00:34:01,960
Speaker 6: she or anyone else thinks you should be dealing with

720
00:34:02,000 --> 00:34:04,720
Speaker 6: it like a man after a year is insane in

721
00:34:04,760 --> 00:34:09,239
Speaker 6: my opinion, especially after a fifteen year relationship. Your kids

722
00:34:09,280 --> 00:34:11,440
Speaker 6: are old enough for you to tell them the truth

723
00:34:11,520 --> 00:34:14,120
Speaker 6: about how you're feeling and how you're unable to deal

724
00:34:14,120 --> 00:34:17,680
Speaker 6: with her request this soon after the divorce. If they

725
00:34:17,719 --> 00:34:21,440
Speaker 6: can't accept your decision, then maybe use your analogies they

726
00:34:21,480 --> 00:34:25,080
Speaker 6: can understand about their own lives. Ultimately, stick by your

727
00:34:25,120 --> 00:34:28,840
Speaker 6: pup pews and your mental health is more important. Sounds

728
00:34:28,880 --> 00:34:31,439
Speaker 6: like you need to focus on your healing right now. Ope,

729
00:34:31,440 --> 00:34:35,080
Speaker 6: he says, absolutely, I mean I do not feel any way,

730
00:34:35,160 --> 00:34:37,759
Speaker 6: shape or form ready to start dating or get into

731
00:34:37,800 --> 00:34:40,480
Speaker 6: a relationship yet. However, she's been trying to push me

732
00:34:40,520 --> 00:34:43,280
Speaker 6: to date or even set me up with a suitable woman.

733
00:34:43,440 --> 00:34:46,520
Speaker 6: She knows she feels guilty and thinks I would be

734
00:34:46,560 --> 00:34:50,120
Speaker 6: a great catch for someone and deserves someone who appreciates me,

735
00:34:50,640 --> 00:34:54,080
Speaker 6: which is all dandy, but I just don't want it yet.

736
00:34:54,200 --> 00:34:57,239
Speaker 6: I'm trying to get through to our oldest so I

737
00:34:57,360 --> 00:35:00,520
Speaker 6: can talk about this with her. She's eighteen and the

738
00:35:00,520 --> 00:35:02,880
Speaker 6: one they all look up to. If I can at

739
00:35:02,960 --> 00:35:05,400
Speaker 6: least get her to understand, then it might help the

740
00:35:05,440 --> 00:35:06,360
Speaker 6: other two come around.

741
00:35:06,719 --> 00:35:07,239
Speaker 1: Come it two.

742
00:35:07,320 --> 00:35:09,320
Speaker 6: It's tough when your ex takes up with the person

743
00:35:09,400 --> 00:35:12,080
Speaker 6: they left you for. But your ex wife clearly values

744
00:35:12,120 --> 00:35:15,160
Speaker 6: you and sees you as an important person in her life.

745
00:35:15,360 --> 00:35:18,480
Speaker 6: That's why she wants you at her wedding as her

746
00:35:18,480 --> 00:35:21,960
Speaker 6: best man. She's not trying to rub her new relationship

747
00:35:21,960 --> 00:35:25,440
Speaker 6: in your face, but honor the relationship you have as

748
00:35:25,480 --> 00:35:28,280
Speaker 6: two people who have cared for each other for almost

749
00:35:28,280 --> 00:35:31,680
Speaker 6: two decades. It sounds like you're grieving your marriage and

750
00:35:31,719 --> 00:35:34,319
Speaker 6: the pain is still raw. Ending a marriage is a

751
00:35:34,440 --> 00:35:37,680
Speaker 6: huge adjustment, and I think you owe it to yourself

752
00:35:37,680 --> 00:35:40,879
Speaker 6: to seek a therapist out to talk things over with

753
00:35:41,360 --> 00:35:46,200
Speaker 6: a therapist who has experienced with LGBTQ plus families and issues.

754
00:35:46,239 --> 00:35:50,040
Speaker 6: That would be your benefit having attending the wedding and

755
00:35:50,080 --> 00:35:52,960
Speaker 6: supporting your ex in her new life as goals you

756
00:35:53,040 --> 00:35:55,640
Speaker 6: want to work towards. Tell your ex wife that you

757
00:35:55,680 --> 00:35:58,240
Speaker 6: won't be her best man, but you would be happy

758
00:35:58,520 --> 00:36:01,399
Speaker 6: to be in her new life. You're just not there

759
00:36:01,520 --> 00:36:04,440
Speaker 6: quite yet. Let your ex no, you're not planning on

760
00:36:04,520 --> 00:36:07,319
Speaker 6: attending this time, but you will keep a spot open

761
00:36:07,360 --> 00:36:10,640
Speaker 6: for you and the chance you change your mind. Also

762
00:36:10,800 --> 00:36:13,759
Speaker 6: consider intending the reception if the ceremony would be too

763
00:36:13,800 --> 00:36:16,200
Speaker 6: rough for you. That way you get to celebrate with

764
00:36:16,239 --> 00:36:19,640
Speaker 6: your ex your children while skipping what could be the

765
00:36:19,719 --> 00:36:22,360
Speaker 6: toughest part. Ask if you can bring along a supportive

766
00:36:22,360 --> 00:36:25,640
Speaker 6: plus one male or female you can take a side

767
00:36:25,760 --> 00:36:28,640
Speaker 6: and invent with. Just make sure you're out of earshot

768
00:36:28,680 --> 00:36:32,240
Speaker 6: of your ex, her fiance and your kids. I don't

769
00:36:32,400 --> 00:36:35,160
Speaker 6: I disagree with this one? Yeah, this one, I don't know.

770
00:36:35,200 --> 00:36:38,360
Speaker 6: I feel like they're not listening to where Opie is.

771
00:36:38,960 --> 00:36:40,799
Speaker 6: They're like a just say you can't make it, but

772
00:36:41,239 --> 00:36:44,520
Speaker 6: you should celebrate with the X you can't celebrate with

773
00:36:44,560 --> 00:36:45,160
Speaker 6: the X, you.

774
00:36:45,120 --> 00:36:46,680
Speaker 1: Know, Yeah, because I think that's the issue.

775
00:36:47,040 --> 00:36:50,560
Speaker 7: Yeah, Like you don't feel it's weird to celebrate with

776
00:36:50,640 --> 00:36:55,120
Speaker 7: your ex, you know, Like, I'm sure the thought of her,

777
00:36:55,680 --> 00:36:58,399
Speaker 7: you know, being in another relationship, especially if he's maybe

778
00:36:58,440 --> 00:37:02,520
Speaker 7: not in one right now, and then especially them getting

779
00:37:02,680 --> 00:37:06,120
Speaker 7: married after like a year being together, I'm sure.

780
00:37:05,960 --> 00:37:07,800
Speaker 1: That's weird in general. Yeah.

781
00:37:07,840 --> 00:37:10,040
Speaker 7: So then adding the extra layer of even being at

782
00:37:10,040 --> 00:37:12,439
Speaker 7: the wedding and being the best man is like, oh,

783
00:37:12,560 --> 00:37:14,840
Speaker 7: it's just adding more to the uncomfort.

784
00:37:15,160 --> 00:37:15,359
Speaker 4: Yeah.

785
00:37:15,360 --> 00:37:20,160
Speaker 6: Oh I get being like, oh, we were best friends

786
00:37:20,200 --> 00:37:22,120
Speaker 6: for twenty years. Like you can't do that to your

787
00:37:22,160 --> 00:37:24,080
Speaker 6: best friend too, you know, like.

788
00:37:24,040 --> 00:37:25,680
Speaker 1: You can't you can't like not go to your best

789
00:37:25,680 --> 00:37:26,120
Speaker 1: friend's wedding.

790
00:37:26,280 --> 00:37:29,560
Speaker 6: Yes, yeah, like if your best friend I'm remarried someone else.

791
00:37:29,760 --> 00:37:33,040
Speaker 7: But it's just different. It's just different. There's more than

792
00:37:33,080 --> 00:37:37,319
Speaker 7: that in this situation. There's more ope response that approaches one.

793
00:37:37,360 --> 00:37:41,080
Speaker 7: I'd consider saying I'd consider it or not commit to it,

794
00:37:41,120 --> 00:37:43,799
Speaker 7: but needed to think about it as if what is

795
00:37:43,880 --> 00:37:46,520
Speaker 7: best for me. But the way she's gone about it

796
00:37:46,600 --> 00:37:49,680
Speaker 7: was just completely the wrong way. Just zero to sixty

797
00:37:49,840 --> 00:37:53,680
Speaker 7: in a second flat and getting kids involved had made

798
00:37:53,719 --> 00:37:56,959
Speaker 7: it worse. She had even spoke to me calmly asked

799
00:37:57,000 --> 00:37:58,800
Speaker 7: me in a decent way. It gave me time to

800
00:37:58,840 --> 00:38:01,200
Speaker 7: consider I have reacted differently.

801
00:38:01,320 --> 00:38:04,000
Speaker 1: We've got an update. Don't are we going? Ke On?

802
00:38:04,040 --> 00:38:04,359
Speaker 1: You going?

803
00:38:04,960 --> 00:38:05,280
Speaker 2: Heck?

804
00:38:05,440 --> 00:38:10,480
Speaker 1: No, man, not going. You're going maybe for the kids,

805
00:38:10,520 --> 00:38:12,800
Speaker 1: but not as the best man. I'm not going.

806
00:38:13,000 --> 00:38:13,560
Speaker 2: I'm not going.

807
00:38:14,239 --> 00:38:16,360
Speaker 8: I will take the kids and say hi to my

808
00:38:16,480 --> 00:38:18,280
Speaker 8: ex wife and like here the kids.

809
00:38:18,560 --> 00:38:19,600
Speaker 2: I can't be here.

810
00:38:20,000 --> 00:38:20,200
Speaker 1: Dude.

811
00:38:20,200 --> 00:38:23,080
Speaker 6: What if I what if I we get married, have

812
00:38:23,120 --> 00:38:26,120
Speaker 6: a beautiful life, three kids, four kids, you know, four kids,

813
00:38:26,239 --> 00:38:27,839
Speaker 6: and then I'm like, hey, we gotta tell you something.

814
00:38:28,040 --> 00:38:32,279
Speaker 1: Yeah, me and Keon we're getting married. All this time

815
00:38:32,360 --> 00:38:35,239
Speaker 1: I should have known. Yeah right, I don't want you.

816
00:38:35,160 --> 00:38:38,520
Speaker 6: To be my maid of honor as I go off

817
00:38:38,640 --> 00:38:39,920
Speaker 6: into the distance with Keon.

818
00:38:41,040 --> 00:38:42,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know. It's just weird.

819
00:38:42,600 --> 00:38:44,920
Speaker 7: It's just weird because do we know how long it's

820
00:38:44,960 --> 00:38:46,160
Speaker 7: been since they got divorced?

821
00:38:47,000 --> 00:38:47,520
Speaker 1: Just a year?

822
00:38:47,920 --> 00:38:51,600
Speaker 7: Yeah, so she got into a relationship with this woman, yeah,

823
00:38:51,680 --> 00:38:53,719
Speaker 7: right after yep, and they're getting married.

824
00:38:53,800 --> 00:38:54,920
Speaker 2: Okay, yep.

825
00:38:55,080 --> 00:39:00,520
Speaker 7: This adds so much more to the situation. Yeah, no, no, no, no, no.

826
00:39:00,360 --> 00:39:03,640
Speaker 8: No, it's if I were in op shoes again, I

827
00:39:03,680 --> 00:39:07,000
Speaker 8: would tell how I'm feeling. Hey, this is where I'm

828
00:39:07,000 --> 00:39:10,000
Speaker 8: at for you, it seems great. For me, I just

829
00:39:10,040 --> 00:39:13,080
Speaker 8: don't feel comfortable and I'm not happy with this and

830
00:39:13,800 --> 00:39:16,880
Speaker 8: I'm still grieving. Yeah, and if you can't respect that,

831
00:39:17,239 --> 00:39:19,919
Speaker 8: I'm sorry, but I'm not gonna go. That's very easy,

832
00:39:19,960 --> 00:39:22,480
Speaker 8: it's very adult, a very dult conversation. Just tell how

833
00:39:22,719 --> 00:39:25,760
Speaker 8: tell them like how honest and you're just your feelings.

834
00:39:25,800 --> 00:39:26,960
Speaker 8: To tell them your honest feelings.

835
00:39:27,000 --> 00:39:30,840
Speaker 6: We got an update basically everything all moved forward today.

836
00:39:31,080 --> 00:39:33,239
Speaker 6: So I thought i'd be best to reach out to

837
00:39:33,320 --> 00:39:35,839
Speaker 6: my daughter. So I messaged her along lines of Hey,

838
00:39:35,880 --> 00:39:37,839
Speaker 6: I know you're not talking to me now, but I

839
00:39:37,880 --> 00:39:40,080
Speaker 6: really think we need to talk. To my surprise, she

840
00:39:40,200 --> 00:39:44,040
Speaker 6: agreed and came over very quickly basically said to her

841
00:39:44,160 --> 00:39:46,719
Speaker 6: that she's an adult and I won't sugarcoat thinks.

842
00:39:46,719 --> 00:39:46,919
Speaker 2: Now.

843
00:39:47,239 --> 00:39:49,439
Speaker 6: I'm really not in a good place and your mom

844
00:39:49,480 --> 00:39:51,880
Speaker 6: is getting married to her girlfriend and asking me the

845
00:39:51,920 --> 00:39:54,279
Speaker 6: best man is a bit too much for me when

846
00:39:54,280 --> 00:39:57,040
Speaker 6: I'm struggling to move on with my life. She sort

847
00:39:57,080 --> 00:39:59,560
Speaker 6: of understands, but it hit her close to home. She

848
00:39:59,640 --> 00:40:02,319
Speaker 6: came out out to me as a saffoc herself. She

849
00:40:02,440 --> 00:40:04,959
Speaker 6: says she's known for a while. She told her mom

850
00:40:04,960 --> 00:40:07,040
Speaker 6: and my ex a while ago, but wasn't sure how

851
00:40:07,080 --> 00:40:09,280
Speaker 6: to tell me, and because of the way I reacted

852
00:40:09,280 --> 00:40:11,680
Speaker 6: to the wedding, she was worried I wouldn't be able

853
00:40:11,719 --> 00:40:14,560
Speaker 6: to accept her. I reassured her that I really do

854
00:40:14,600 --> 00:40:16,799
Speaker 6: love her dearly and I'm proud of her for being

855
00:40:16,800 --> 00:40:19,799
Speaker 6: honest with me, and stressed the way I feel about her.

856
00:40:19,800 --> 00:40:22,440
Speaker 6: Mom and our fiance is doing nothing with the fact

857
00:40:22,680 --> 00:40:26,080
Speaker 6: with her saffix, but because she's my ex wife and

858
00:40:26,160 --> 00:40:28,560
Speaker 6: I can't just turn my feelings off like that, I'd

859
00:40:28,600 --> 00:40:31,480
Speaker 6: feel exactly the same if Mom was marrying a dude.

860
00:40:31,880 --> 00:40:34,360
Speaker 6: We hugged it out, and she said she talked to

861
00:40:34,400 --> 00:40:37,440
Speaker 6: her brothers and see if she can get them to

862
00:40:37,480 --> 00:40:40,640
Speaker 6: come around. Because they live with Mom and see the

863
00:40:40,680 --> 00:40:44,160
Speaker 6: fiance often. They see her a lot, and so they

864
00:40:44,200 --> 00:40:47,960
Speaker 6: don't understand. I said to her, I can't promise that

865
00:40:48,000 --> 00:40:50,520
Speaker 6: i'd go to the wedding eventually, but if I fill

866
00:40:50,600 --> 00:40:52,880
Speaker 6: up to it, I may try, but it would be

867
00:40:52,920 --> 00:40:56,560
Speaker 6: hard for me while she's here. She facetimed her mom

868
00:40:56,640 --> 00:40:58,920
Speaker 6: from her phone, and I got a chance to talk

869
00:40:58,960 --> 00:41:01,840
Speaker 6: to my ex basically was honest. I said, I feel

870
00:41:01,880 --> 00:41:04,080
Speaker 6: like she blindsided me and sprung it up with me

871
00:41:04,160 --> 00:41:08,080
Speaker 6: without thinking how I would feel, especially putting me on

872
00:41:08,120 --> 00:41:11,160
Speaker 6: the spot and making her ask me to be the

873
00:41:11,200 --> 00:41:11,640
Speaker 6: best man.

874
00:41:12,080 --> 00:41:12,439
Speaker 1: I said.

875
00:41:12,480 --> 00:41:14,840
Speaker 6: The invitation to the wedding was one thing, but it

876
00:41:14,920 --> 00:41:17,680
Speaker 6: was a bit much for me. She took it all

877
00:41:17,719 --> 00:41:21,520
Speaker 6: in and apologized and admitted is because she'd all loved

878
00:41:21,600 --> 00:41:24,960
Speaker 6: up and her family are giving her all the platitudes

879
00:41:24,960 --> 00:41:27,640
Speaker 6: about how happy and how proud they are, so she

880
00:41:27,719 --> 00:41:28,800
Speaker 6: got caught up in the moment.

881
00:41:28,920 --> 00:41:29,160
Speaker 1: Wow.

882
00:41:29,280 --> 00:41:32,680
Speaker 6: So see communication reddit does change lives.

883
00:41:33,160 --> 00:41:35,680
Speaker 1: I guess it does. I guess it does.

884
00:41:36,280 --> 00:41:40,520
Speaker 6: Yeah, this one conversation after getting with clarity, yep, and

885
00:41:40,560 --> 00:41:41,359
Speaker 6: everything went well.

886
00:41:41,480 --> 00:41:42,640
Speaker 1: Everything went well.

887
00:41:42,760 --> 00:41:44,799
Speaker 7: I feel like maybe the eighteen year old didn't need

888
00:41:44,800 --> 00:41:47,000
Speaker 7: to be there for the conversation like with the parents.

889
00:41:47,080 --> 00:41:49,080
Speaker 1: But I'm sure she can handle it.

890
00:41:49,160 --> 00:41:52,320
Speaker 6: She's an adult now, not going to sugarcoat anything else.

891
00:41:52,800 --> 00:41:57,360
Speaker 1: I guess is that what he said? Yeah? Okay, word

892
00:41:57,600 --> 00:41:59,439
Speaker 1: for word, letter for letter.

893
00:42:00,000 --> 00:42:03,879
Speaker 7: Well, well, yeah, see communication is the answer to all

894
00:42:03,880 --> 00:42:04,600
Speaker 7: of your problems.

895
00:42:04,640 --> 00:42:06,920
Speaker 6: Yep, and I got a little bit left here. She

896
00:42:07,080 --> 00:42:09,480
Speaker 6: asked me I would feel about it now? I said

897
00:42:09,520 --> 00:42:11,680
Speaker 6: in all, honestly, it's a bit too much to consider

898
00:42:11,719 --> 00:42:13,840
Speaker 6: at the moment, but I definitely am not going to

899
00:42:13,880 --> 00:42:17,239
Speaker 6: be her best man regardless. She understands said she won't

900
00:42:17,280 --> 00:42:20,200
Speaker 6: accept that of me. But if I don't want to

901
00:42:20,200 --> 00:42:22,520
Speaker 6: go to the wedding itself and it would I be

902
00:42:22,560 --> 00:42:25,480
Speaker 6: interesting in going to just reception? I said not, Honestly,

903
00:42:25,520 --> 00:42:28,120
Speaker 6: I don't know if I can, and she would shouldn't

904
00:42:28,160 --> 00:42:31,359
Speaker 6: expect me to. She agreed and said she'd leave it

905
00:42:31,400 --> 00:42:33,759
Speaker 6: to me and will try to understand if I can,

906
00:42:34,280 --> 00:42:37,040
Speaker 6: but would it be made up if I can. The

907
00:42:37,120 --> 00:42:39,600
Speaker 6: boys were there, so I asked if she could put

908
00:42:39,600 --> 00:42:41,760
Speaker 6: them on, but they didn't want to talk to me. Honestly,

909
00:42:42,120 --> 00:42:44,240
Speaker 6: feels like the O one to two in the balls.

910
00:42:44,640 --> 00:42:47,600
Speaker 6: So I left it there before it made me start crying.

911
00:42:48,120 --> 00:42:50,480
Speaker 6: She saw it and let the daughter leave so I

912
00:42:50,480 --> 00:42:52,759
Speaker 6: could be on my own. I've never liked her to

913
00:42:52,800 --> 00:42:55,800
Speaker 6: see me like this, too emotional, especially when I cry.

914
00:42:56,280 --> 00:42:57,080
Speaker 1: So there you have it.

915
00:42:57,640 --> 00:43:01,640
Speaker 6: We've all made a peace as such, but there's a

916
00:43:01,680 --> 00:43:03,799
Speaker 6: long way to go yet. A lot of people have

917
00:43:03,920 --> 00:43:07,240
Speaker 6: said about her cheating whilst she met or now fiance

918
00:43:07,400 --> 00:43:11,120
Speaker 6: before the split. I don't believe there was physical intimacy,

919
00:43:11,480 --> 00:43:14,399
Speaker 6: possibly an emotional thing, but I don't believe they got

920
00:43:14,400 --> 00:43:17,040
Speaker 6: together until we split at two. A lot of people

921
00:43:17,080 --> 00:43:19,440
Speaker 6: have picked up on me not showing my emotions around

922
00:43:19,440 --> 00:43:24,120
Speaker 6: my kids. I do or show emotion around them. I'm loving, funny, affectionate, humble,

923
00:43:24,160 --> 00:43:27,560
Speaker 6: et cetera. I do show sadness at things like funerals,

924
00:43:27,600 --> 00:43:30,560
Speaker 6: but I generally don't like them seeing me cry, especially

925
00:43:30,960 --> 00:43:33,680
Speaker 6: at things like this, Yeah that I read a documentary

926
00:43:33,680 --> 00:43:37,680
Speaker 6: about like why I'm in don't cry, and uh it

927
00:43:37,360 --> 00:43:40,000
Speaker 6: make it makes sense, Like they only cry like very

928
00:43:40,920 --> 00:43:45,680
Speaker 6: very like uh, big things that happen, and if they don't,

929
00:43:45,800 --> 00:43:48,120
Speaker 6: and if they cry other things around it, they are

930
00:43:48,160 --> 00:43:50,920
Speaker 6: seen as like weak, like they cry a breakup or

931
00:43:50,960 --> 00:43:53,399
Speaker 6: like cry that they stubbed their toe and the other

932
00:43:53,400 --> 00:43:53,920
Speaker 6: and it's like.

933
00:43:55,360 --> 00:43:58,360
Speaker 7: A bad uh pressure to put on. But that that

934
00:43:58,520 --> 00:44:00,520
Speaker 7: is honestly a thing. Seeing your dad I cry for

935
00:44:00,520 --> 00:44:04,760
Speaker 7: the first time or ever is always like augh because

936
00:44:04,800 --> 00:44:08,600
Speaker 7: like it's you know, in most cases so rare. My

937
00:44:08,719 --> 00:44:11,399
Speaker 7: family deserted me when I was younger, and now they

938
00:44:11,400 --> 00:44:12,400
Speaker 7: want to reconnect.

939
00:44:12,520 --> 00:44:14,279
Speaker 2: You're all big, now let's talk.

940
00:44:14,360 --> 00:44:15,560
Speaker 1: So little backstory.

941
00:44:15,600 --> 00:44:17,440
Speaker 7: I'm a twin and when I was born, I hadn't

942
00:44:17,440 --> 00:44:19,520
Speaker 7: developed my lungs fully, so I had to stay in

943
00:44:19,520 --> 00:44:21,840
Speaker 7: the hospital for quite a while. Due to this, I

944
00:44:21,880 --> 00:44:24,920
Speaker 7: had a lot of developmental and emotional issues, dyslexia and

945
00:44:25,000 --> 00:44:26,560
Speaker 7: other anger issues.

946
00:44:26,600 --> 00:44:27,239
Speaker 1: By the way, this.

947
00:44:27,200 --> 00:44:29,160
Speaker 7: Comes from deleted and if you want to submit your

948
00:44:29,160 --> 00:44:31,279
Speaker 7: own stories, go to the r slash Okay storytime sub

949
00:44:31,320 --> 00:44:33,319
Speaker 7: bredd it. So now, I don't know if this is

950
00:44:33,320 --> 00:44:35,960
Speaker 7: the reason, but I believe so that because of these issues,

951
00:44:36,000 --> 00:44:38,480
Speaker 7: I was treated poorly by my family, like I was

952
00:44:38,560 --> 00:44:40,040
Speaker 7: somehow a burden to them.

953
00:44:40,120 --> 00:44:42,400
Speaker 1: Not to say that they were harmful, but the neglect

954
00:44:42,440 --> 00:44:43,840
Speaker 1: I received was a lot.

955
00:44:44,080 --> 00:44:46,440
Speaker 7: For example, on our birthdays, I would ask for something,

956
00:44:46,520 --> 00:44:49,200
Speaker 7: my brother would get it instead. One year, I asked

957
00:44:49,200 --> 00:44:51,120
Speaker 7: for a boombox, and not a big one, but a

958
00:44:51,160 --> 00:44:53,640
Speaker 7: smaller one. They were all the hit in the eighties,

959
00:44:54,080 --> 00:44:55,839
Speaker 7: and instead my brother got it.

960
00:44:56,080 --> 00:44:59,280
Speaker 1: Christmas came around, asked for a remote controlled car. Brother

961
00:44:59,320 --> 00:44:59,680
Speaker 1: got one.

962
00:45:00,000 --> 00:45:01,720
Speaker 7: I told the dude funds I had to wait until

963
00:45:01,760 --> 00:45:05,360
Speaker 7: after the first of the year. That never happened, so

964
00:45:05,520 --> 00:45:08,840
Speaker 7: basically got nothing but clothes for Christmas while my twin

965
00:45:09,120 --> 00:45:11,759
Speaker 7: got toys. I tried for years to show that I

966
00:45:11,880 --> 00:45:13,640
Speaker 7: was as good as my brother. He was always good

967
00:45:13,680 --> 00:45:16,239
Speaker 7: at school, while I, of course struggled. In sixth grade,

968
00:45:16,320 --> 00:45:17,960
Speaker 7: I worked hard to make sure that I got good

969
00:45:17,960 --> 00:45:21,800
Speaker 7: grades all bees, which was good for me, and they said, oh, nice,

970
00:45:21,920 --> 00:45:24,759
Speaker 7: your brother got all a's. I think it was at

971
00:45:24,760 --> 00:45:26,960
Speaker 7: this point that I realized where I stood. I was

972
00:45:27,040 --> 00:45:28,920
Speaker 7: just a roommate that they had to take care of,

973
00:45:29,120 --> 00:45:29,759
Speaker 7: nothing more.

974
00:45:29,840 --> 00:45:30,439
Speaker 1: Oh my god.

975
00:45:30,719 --> 00:45:32,439
Speaker 7: So as a kid, I figured that if I can't

976
00:45:32,440 --> 00:45:35,000
Speaker 7: get attention for positive things, then I'll do whatever, and

977
00:45:35,080 --> 00:45:36,960
Speaker 7: if I get in trouble, at least they would be

978
00:45:36,960 --> 00:45:39,520
Speaker 7: forced to pay attention to me. Not the brightest idea,

979
00:45:39,600 --> 00:45:41,520
Speaker 7: but when you are eleven to twelve years old, what

980
00:45:41,560 --> 00:45:44,200
Speaker 7: do you expect. When I turned eighteen, shortly after graduating

981
00:45:44,280 --> 00:45:45,960
Speaker 7: high school, I was met at the door with a

982
00:45:45,960 --> 00:45:46,840
Speaker 7: bag of clothes.

983
00:45:47,200 --> 00:45:49,120
Speaker 1: I was told that I had to go, that they

984
00:45:49,200 --> 00:45:51,880
Speaker 1: did their job and I needed to leave.

985
00:45:52,120 --> 00:45:54,480
Speaker 7: I asked what about my brother, and they stated that

986
00:45:54,560 --> 00:45:56,759
Speaker 7: he was gonna be somebody as he was going to

987
00:45:56,800 --> 00:45:59,719
Speaker 7: college where I struggled in school, So clearly I was

988
00:45:59,719 --> 00:46:00,760
Speaker 7: going to be a bumm.

989
00:46:00,880 --> 00:46:03,320
Speaker 1: To tell you the truth, I was ready to go. Anyways.

990
00:46:03,520 --> 00:46:05,919
Speaker 7: I already knew how they felt, so this didn't even

991
00:46:05,960 --> 00:46:08,360
Speaker 7: bother me, I grabbed my bag. My mom tried to

992
00:46:08,400 --> 00:46:10,479
Speaker 7: hug me, but I ignored it and walked out the door.

993
00:46:10,719 --> 00:46:12,520
Speaker 7: Never looked back. It took a while for me to

994
00:46:12,520 --> 00:46:15,240
Speaker 7: get on my feet. Nowhere to go, no place to sleep,

995
00:46:15,400 --> 00:46:17,680
Speaker 7: not a penny to my name, but I had some

996
00:46:17,680 --> 00:46:20,680
Speaker 7: friends to rely on, at least temporarily. Fast forward a

997
00:46:20,719 --> 00:46:22,560
Speaker 7: few years and I met my wife while I was

998
00:46:22,600 --> 00:46:25,520
Speaker 7: working at a gas station. Wow, we just clicked a

999
00:46:25,560 --> 00:46:28,280
Speaker 7: few years later, we got married. We built a home together,

1000
00:46:28,440 --> 00:46:30,799
Speaker 7: something I never really had growing up. Back in two

1001
00:46:30,840 --> 00:46:32,680
Speaker 7: thousand and five, we had a baby.

1002
00:46:32,360 --> 00:46:34,240
Speaker 1: Girl and two years later a boy.

1003
00:46:34,480 --> 00:46:38,200
Speaker 7: From my perspective, my life is perfect, family, home, a

1004
00:46:38,239 --> 00:46:39,000
Speaker 7: great job in it.

1005
00:46:39,800 --> 00:46:41,400
Speaker 1: That was until yesterday.

1006
00:46:41,440 --> 00:46:41,879
Speaker 6: Oh no.

1007
00:46:42,200 --> 00:46:44,080
Speaker 7: I received a phone call from my mom telling me

1008
00:46:44,120 --> 00:46:46,160
Speaker 7: that my dad passed away and that she and the

1009
00:46:46,160 --> 00:46:48,520
Speaker 7: family would hope that I could make it to the funeral.

1010
00:46:48,880 --> 00:46:51,080
Speaker 7: Mind you, I don't know how she got my number,

1011
00:46:51,239 --> 00:46:53,759
Speaker 7: but probably for my brother. But I was shocked, to

1012
00:46:53,800 --> 00:46:56,080
Speaker 7: say the least. I told her that I was busy working,

1013
00:46:56,160 --> 00:46:59,880
Speaker 7: which I was, twelve hour shifts are fun and would

1014
00:47:00,080 --> 00:47:01,920
Speaker 7: let her know later. She started to say something to

1015
00:47:01,960 --> 00:47:04,040
Speaker 7: the effect that they missed me and would like to

1016
00:47:04,040 --> 00:47:05,839
Speaker 7: be a part of my life or something like that,

1017
00:47:05,920 --> 00:47:08,759
Speaker 7: But I hung up kind of rude, I know, maybe

1018
00:47:08,800 --> 00:47:11,560
Speaker 7: even a wholeish, But from my perspective, I haven't heard

1019
00:47:11,600 --> 00:47:14,239
Speaker 7: a word from these people in thirty two years, so

1020
00:47:14,480 --> 00:47:16,600
Speaker 7: why would I give them any more of my time?

1021
00:47:17,120 --> 00:47:19,680
Speaker 7: I told my wife, and although she knows about my family,

1022
00:47:19,760 --> 00:47:21,560
Speaker 7: she thought it would be the right thing to do,

1023
00:47:22,120 --> 00:47:24,840
Speaker 7: seeing that my mom reached out to tell me where

1024
00:47:24,880 --> 00:47:27,480
Speaker 7: she could have not told me that they are family

1025
00:47:27,640 --> 00:47:29,120
Speaker 7: and probably feel bad.

1026
00:47:28,960 --> 00:47:29,960
Speaker 1: And want to reconnect.

1027
00:47:30,160 --> 00:47:32,080
Speaker 7: Mind you, my wife has a big family and they've

1028
00:47:32,080 --> 00:47:34,640
Speaker 7: always treated me like fam so her view of family

1029
00:47:34,680 --> 00:47:37,680
Speaker 7: is different than mine. However, as far as I'm concerned,

1030
00:47:37,760 --> 00:47:41,080
Speaker 7: I already have my family, as those other people are

1031
00:47:41,160 --> 00:47:44,319
Speaker 7: former roommates that I have no obligation to anyone but

1032
00:47:44,480 --> 00:47:46,400
Speaker 7: those who I care about and who care about me,

1033
00:47:46,880 --> 00:47:48,160
Speaker 7: which are my wife and kids.

1034
00:47:48,480 --> 00:47:48,920
Speaker 1: I get it.

1035
00:47:49,000 --> 00:47:50,799
Speaker 7: My wife loves me and is thinking of me, and

1036
00:47:50,840 --> 00:47:53,200
Speaker 7: how I might regret not going just seems like they

1037
00:47:53,719 --> 00:47:56,160
Speaker 7: now know that dad is gone and life is short,

1038
00:47:56,400 --> 00:47:58,680
Speaker 7: so now guilt is creeping in and they don't want

1039
00:47:58,719 --> 00:48:01,239
Speaker 7: to pass away with that girl. I mean, do I

1040
00:48:01,360 --> 00:48:04,319
Speaker 7: go at the wife's suggestion and be miserable being around

1041
00:48:04,320 --> 00:48:06,279
Speaker 7: people that I learned to let go of and not

1042
00:48:06,320 --> 00:48:08,920
Speaker 7: care about in order to look like the better person.

1043
00:48:09,400 --> 00:48:11,560
Speaker 7: Or do I stay at home and continue to live

1044
00:48:11,600 --> 00:48:14,600
Speaker 7: my life putting my own family first and ignoring those people.

1045
00:48:14,920 --> 00:48:17,239
Speaker 8: This is what you say, he died. I'm sorry he

1046
00:48:17,320 --> 00:48:19,680
Speaker 8: unlive to me the day you kicked me out.

1047
00:48:19,880 --> 00:48:23,239
Speaker 7: There you go, yeah, yeah, all of that you did,

1048
00:48:23,640 --> 00:48:26,600
Speaker 7: honestly because they were acting that way towards Ope. Yeah,

1049
00:48:26,600 --> 00:48:30,359
Speaker 7: and he was the child in this situation, so it's

1050
00:48:30,440 --> 00:48:32,720
Speaker 7: like there's nothing for him to mourn anymore.

1051
00:48:32,719 --> 00:48:35,239
Speaker 1: He already did that thirty two years ago.

1052
00:48:35,360 --> 00:48:37,359
Speaker 6: And I kind of feel bad for the other twin

1053
00:48:37,440 --> 00:48:39,759
Speaker 6: two because he was just a by center, couldn't really

1054
00:48:39,800 --> 00:48:41,360
Speaker 6: do anything. It doesn't seem like I have much of

1055
00:48:41,360 --> 00:48:44,040
Speaker 6: a relationship. But did he One did he fold in

1056
00:48:44,160 --> 00:48:45,040
Speaker 6: and believe the parents?

1057
00:48:45,080 --> 00:48:45,279
Speaker 1: Or two?

1058
00:48:45,320 --> 00:48:46,520
Speaker 6: Does he kind of feel bad but it has to

1059
00:48:46,560 --> 00:48:48,560
Speaker 6: keep like a good stance for the parents so he

1060
00:48:48,560 --> 00:48:49,640
Speaker 6: can survive in this world.

1061
00:48:49,680 --> 00:48:51,840
Speaker 1: I'd like to know that about the Honestly, I could.

1062
00:48:52,120 --> 00:48:54,759
Speaker 7: I could see that happening, because like, yeah, if he's

1063
00:48:54,800 --> 00:48:57,000
Speaker 7: the favorite child, he obviously has a different relationship with

1064
00:48:57,040 --> 00:48:59,920
Speaker 7: the parents, but it still wasn't really his like.

1065
00:49:00,160 --> 00:49:03,600
Speaker 1: Fault, and I wonder, you know, if there were things.

1066
00:49:03,320 --> 00:49:06,239
Speaker 7: Of like if the brother was being like kind of

1067
00:49:06,440 --> 00:49:09,319
Speaker 7: bratty about being the favorite or something that's possible, but

1068
00:49:09,360 --> 00:49:12,120
Speaker 7: we don't really know that yet. And obviously I mean

1069
00:49:12,160 --> 00:49:15,760
Speaker 7: Opie soa that the brother still has oh piece number,

1070
00:49:15,880 --> 00:49:17,640
Speaker 7: and that might be how the mom got the number,

1071
00:49:17,760 --> 00:49:20,080
Speaker 7: So maybe they are still in contact like a little bit.

1072
00:49:21,360 --> 00:49:23,320
Speaker 7: But yeah, I could see like from being the favorite

1073
00:49:23,400 --> 00:49:25,960
Speaker 7: child having that different relationship, he's maybe a little bit

1074
00:49:25,960 --> 00:49:26,759
Speaker 7: more forgiving of the.

1075
00:49:26,719 --> 00:49:27,640
Speaker 1: Parents for this stuff.

1076
00:49:27,680 --> 00:49:30,000
Speaker 7: I guess I'm asking those that have gone no contact

1077
00:49:30,040 --> 00:49:32,560
Speaker 7: with their family if they let them back in, was

1078
00:49:32,600 --> 00:49:35,160
Speaker 7: it worth it or did it backfire in your face

1079
00:49:35,160 --> 00:49:37,640
Speaker 7: and something you wouldn't ever do again or suggest to

1080
00:49:37,680 --> 00:49:40,279
Speaker 7: others additional info? Mind you, I live in Florida and

1081
00:49:40,320 --> 00:49:42,920
Speaker 7: they're probably still in California, so that would be a

1082
00:49:42,920 --> 00:49:45,480
Speaker 7: long trip and I'm not sure worth it. As far

1083
00:49:45,520 --> 00:49:48,520
Speaker 7: as my twin, we don't talk, okay, not that we

1084
00:49:48,560 --> 00:49:51,000
Speaker 7: hate each other, we just walked different paths in life.

1085
00:49:51,200 --> 00:49:54,319
Speaker 7: I get slash send the occasional Christmas card, but that's it.

1086
00:49:54,400 --> 00:49:56,960
Speaker 7: Unless some miracles happened. My mom is probably still the

1087
00:49:56,960 --> 00:49:59,520
Speaker 7: self centered person that she's always been. She always wanted

1088
00:49:59,520 --> 00:50:01,880
Speaker 7: to be seen a good person by family and friends.

1089
00:50:01,960 --> 00:50:05,960
Speaker 7: And there is an update, but yeah, that checks out

1090
00:50:06,360 --> 00:50:08,040
Speaker 7: if she be cause if she's gonna have this like

1091
00:50:08,120 --> 00:50:11,640
Speaker 7: funeral with friends and family and then her son isn't there,

1092
00:50:11,960 --> 00:50:12,920
Speaker 7: How's I gonna look on her?

1093
00:50:13,680 --> 00:50:16,239
Speaker 6: If you go to this funeral, everyone's gonna be like,

1094
00:50:16,520 --> 00:50:19,759
Speaker 6: who is that? No one's gonna be like, oh, you

1095
00:50:19,800 --> 00:50:21,920
Speaker 6: had another song, Everyone's gonna ask her more quiet. This

1096
00:50:22,000 --> 00:50:25,359
Speaker 6: is my backfire on her. Actually, who's that other kid

1097
00:50:25,400 --> 00:50:27,040
Speaker 6: that looks like your son?

1098
00:50:27,560 --> 00:50:28,080
Speaker 1: Who is that?

1099
00:50:28,400 --> 00:50:30,319
Speaker 7: Or if they do know the son, then it's like, well,

1100
00:50:30,360 --> 00:50:32,160
Speaker 7: I guess I was friend. I was thinking like people

1101
00:50:32,239 --> 00:50:34,279
Speaker 7: might put the blame on the sun for not being there,

1102
00:50:34,760 --> 00:50:37,040
Speaker 7: but they should be like, you not invite your son

1103
00:50:37,160 --> 00:50:39,560
Speaker 7: or something like she's probably just inviting it for that.

1104
00:50:39,760 --> 00:50:43,160
Speaker 7: We do have an update. Okay, First, Holy crap. I

1105
00:50:43,200 --> 00:50:45,960
Speaker 7: didn't think my post would get so many comments. I

1106
00:50:46,000 --> 00:50:47,920
Speaker 7: tried my best to respond to as many comments as

1107
00:50:47,960 --> 00:50:50,640
Speaker 7: possible as they came in, but after signing out to

1108
00:50:50,760 --> 00:50:53,440
Speaker 7: cook dinner and spend time with the family, when I

1109
00:50:53,520 --> 00:50:56,000
Speaker 7: came back, there were hundreds of comments. So although I

1110
00:50:56,000 --> 00:50:58,680
Speaker 7: didn't respond to each one. I read them all, all

1111
00:50:58,719 --> 00:51:02,319
Speaker 7: seven hundred and fifty plus even had to read some

1112
00:51:02,480 --> 00:51:05,919
Speaker 7: this morning. Second, thank you everyone for taking the time

1113
00:51:05,960 --> 00:51:07,799
Speaker 7: to read my post and then to take time out

1114
00:51:07,840 --> 00:51:10,440
Speaker 7: of your day to comment, share your story, post some

1115
00:51:10,560 --> 00:51:13,080
Speaker 7: kind words, and even the few that were blunt about

1116
00:51:13,080 --> 00:51:13,759
Speaker 7: what I should do.

1117
00:51:14,040 --> 00:51:15,720
Speaker 1: Third, at the suggestion.

1118
00:51:15,440 --> 00:51:17,680
Speaker 7: Of so many of you, I sat with my wife

1119
00:51:17,719 --> 00:51:19,799
Speaker 7: and we went through the comments together so she could

1120
00:51:19,800 --> 00:51:21,799
Speaker 7: get a better understanding of where I was coming from.

1121
00:51:21,880 --> 00:51:25,480
Speaker 7: Although somewhere a little brutal, she understood and apologized for overstepping.

1122
00:51:25,760 --> 00:51:27,680
Speaker 7: I reassured her that her heart was in the right

1123
00:51:27,719 --> 00:51:30,200
Speaker 7: place and it was nothing to be sorry for. Fourth,

1124
00:51:30,280 --> 00:51:33,399
Speaker 7: at the suggestion of someone who posted sorry your last

1125
00:51:33,480 --> 00:51:35,759
Speaker 7: name sorry lost your name in the vast comments, they

1126
00:51:35,760 --> 00:51:38,640
Speaker 7: suggested that I contact my brother, and I did just that.

1127
00:51:39,200 --> 00:51:40,040
Speaker 1: So update time.

1128
00:51:40,120 --> 00:51:42,880
Speaker 7: Okay, folks, I hope you are ready for this crap

1129
00:51:42,880 --> 00:51:45,120
Speaker 7: show of karma that is about to unfold. Drop in

1130
00:51:45,320 --> 00:51:47,399
Speaker 7: and hold on. I called my brother to talk to him.

1131
00:51:47,680 --> 00:51:49,719
Speaker 7: I asked him if he had time to talk, and

1132
00:51:49,760 --> 00:51:52,040
Speaker 7: he did. I asked him if he gave my number

1133
00:51:52,160 --> 00:51:55,440
Speaker 7: to his mom, and he mentioned that he did. He

1134
00:51:55,560 --> 00:51:57,800
Speaker 7: thought it would be better to hear about our dad's

1135
00:51:57,840 --> 00:52:00,719
Speaker 7: passing from Mom than from him. I asked him why

1136
00:52:00,760 --> 00:52:02,520
Speaker 7: I would want to hear from someone who punted me

1137
00:52:02,560 --> 00:52:05,320
Speaker 7: out at eighteen and never heard from in thirty two years.

1138
00:52:05,760 --> 00:52:08,279
Speaker 7: He was shocked and he told me that Mom said

1139
00:52:08,320 --> 00:52:10,560
Speaker 7: that I could stay but I had to pay rent.

1140
00:52:10,719 --> 00:52:12,840
Speaker 7: But I told them that I would never pay rent

1141
00:52:12,960 --> 00:52:15,600
Speaker 7: and left on my own. As others said in MYOPI

1142
00:52:16,160 --> 00:52:19,200
Speaker 7: self absorbed people do and say things to make it

1143
00:52:19,239 --> 00:52:22,000
Speaker 7: about them and make themselves look better. I can't really

1144
00:52:22,000 --> 00:52:24,200
Speaker 7: be surprised at this, to tell you the truth, this

1145
00:52:24,360 --> 00:52:26,879
Speaker 7: is exactly who she was back then, and even now

1146
00:52:27,360 --> 00:52:30,160
Speaker 7: she make me look like the bad apple and her

1147
00:52:30,360 --> 00:52:33,759
Speaker 7: slash auld theay oh wait and her slash them as

1148
00:52:33,840 --> 00:52:36,360
Speaker 7: the ones that never do wrong. So we had a

1149
00:52:36,400 --> 00:52:39,759
Speaker 7: good talk, never getting that sibling twin bond back, but

1150
00:52:39,840 --> 00:52:42,279
Speaker 7: we did agree to try and at leach and at

1151
00:52:42,360 --> 00:52:45,840
Speaker 7: least catch up more instead of Christmas cards and Birthday messages. Okay,

1152
00:52:45,920 --> 00:52:48,080
Speaker 7: like I said in MYOPI he's not a bad guy.

1153
00:52:48,239 --> 00:52:50,719
Speaker 7: We just walked different paths. So then I asked him

1154
00:52:50,719 --> 00:52:53,719
Speaker 7: why Mom wants to reconnect and why she wants me

1155
00:52:53,840 --> 00:52:55,920
Speaker 7: at the funeral you guys.

1156
00:52:55,640 --> 00:52:57,640
Speaker 2: Were right, she wants a kidney.

1157
00:52:59,280 --> 00:53:03,160
Speaker 7: Turns out they spent everything that they had their entire

1158
00:53:03,560 --> 00:53:05,960
Speaker 7: lives trying to live like the Joneses.

1159
00:53:06,360 --> 00:53:08,880
Speaker 1: So now the dad is gone, she has nothing to

1160
00:53:08,960 --> 00:53:11,280
Speaker 1: her name. That's always what it.

1161
00:53:11,200 --> 00:53:14,359
Speaker 7: Is, isn't it. It's always the money. They come back

1162
00:53:14,480 --> 00:53:15,800
Speaker 7: for the money, dude.

1163
00:53:15,880 --> 00:53:23,480
Speaker 9: I did not think, yeah, oh man, no savings, just

1164
00:53:23,480 --> 00:53:26,719
Speaker 9: a small amount of Social Security per month and a

1165
00:53:26,760 --> 00:53:28,440
Speaker 9: small portion of my dad's pension.

1166
00:53:28,800 --> 00:53:30,040
Speaker 1: Living in a small trailer.

1167
00:53:30,640 --> 00:53:33,640
Speaker 7: They heard that I actually became somebody, and she was

1168
00:53:33,640 --> 00:53:36,000
Speaker 7: telling others that she couldn't wait to see me at

1169
00:53:36,000 --> 00:53:38,239
Speaker 7: the funeral. She was hoping that I would bring my

1170
00:53:38,360 --> 00:53:42,280
Speaker 7: kids so that she could see her grandchildren. She actually

1171
00:53:42,280 --> 00:53:45,040
Speaker 7: told my brother that I would be coming, what the

1172
00:53:45,080 --> 00:53:48,399
Speaker 7: hef and was hoping that we could fix our relationship.

1173
00:53:48,840 --> 00:53:51,640
Speaker 7: I'm guessing so that she could start asking for money,

1174
00:53:51,719 --> 00:53:54,040
Speaker 7: as many of you said that she would, seeing that

1175
00:53:54,080 --> 00:53:55,239
Speaker 7: she's dirt poor. Now.

1176
00:53:55,400 --> 00:53:58,520
Speaker 1: I informed him, after thinking about it, mostly listening.

1177
00:53:58,200 --> 00:54:00,440
Speaker 7: To you guys, that I would not be to and

1178
00:54:00,480 --> 00:54:03,320
Speaker 7: at no time did I tell his mom I was coming.

1179
00:54:03,920 --> 00:54:06,279
Speaker 7: I feel bad that dad has passed away, but I

1180
00:54:06,360 --> 00:54:08,000
Speaker 7: already mourned them years ago.

1181
00:54:08,400 --> 00:54:10,520
Speaker 1: I'm at peace with myself and his slash.

1182
00:54:10,520 --> 00:54:15,160
Speaker 7: Her deaths and his and her passings are and will

1183
00:54:15,200 --> 00:54:17,200
Speaker 7: be no different than that of a stranger.

1184
00:54:17,640 --> 00:54:20,640
Speaker 1: That I feel that it won't be that. I feel

1185
00:54:20,680 --> 00:54:21,640
Speaker 1: that it won't be for.

1186
00:54:21,560 --> 00:54:24,000
Speaker 7: Me if I go, it will be for his mom

1187
00:54:24,120 --> 00:54:26,839
Speaker 7: and making her look good. I'm not interested in doing

1188
00:54:26,960 --> 00:54:30,200
Speaker 7: anything for her. They wrote me off thirty two years ago,

1189
00:54:30,400 --> 00:54:33,000
Speaker 7: and I'm in a way better place without her toxicity,

1190
00:54:33,160 --> 00:54:35,759
Speaker 7: narcissism and lies. There is a little bit more to

1191
00:54:35,800 --> 00:54:39,560
Speaker 7: the story, but I think that's a great answer. I think, yeah,

1192
00:54:39,600 --> 00:54:43,719
Speaker 7: he's putting his boundaries down. We know the ulteriator, we

1193
00:54:43,800 --> 00:54:49,080
Speaker 7: know the ulterior motives. Don't let a leach latch on exactly.

1194
00:54:49,320 --> 00:54:51,720
Speaker 7: She was gonna plan her way at the funeral. Okay,

1195
00:54:51,760 --> 00:54:54,319
Speaker 7: so ope, he's gonna step here, twenty steps, and then

1196
00:54:54,320 --> 00:54:55,879
Speaker 7: he's gonna go to the left, and then boom there

1197
00:54:55,880 --> 00:54:58,960
Speaker 7: I am hello. And then and Frenda's gonna talk to

1198
00:54:59,040 --> 00:55:00,440
Speaker 7: him and be like, oh my gosh, other's such a

1199
00:55:00,480 --> 00:55:02,440
Speaker 7: great person. And then Uncle Charles is going to be like,

1200
00:55:02,520 --> 00:55:04,239
Speaker 7: oh my gosh, you should actually catch up with your

1201
00:55:04,280 --> 00:55:04,760
Speaker 7: mom sometime.

1202
00:55:04,880 --> 00:55:05,800
Speaker 1: And then little cousin.

1203
00:55:05,680 --> 00:55:09,160
Speaker 6: Vinie's going to be like happy and mom happy, and

1204
00:55:09,239 --> 00:55:10,600
Speaker 6: then that's a whole lamb.

1205
00:55:10,760 --> 00:55:12,520
Speaker 7: But we do have a little bit more to the story. Oh,

1206
00:55:13,640 --> 00:55:16,120
Speaker 7: I have to give him credit. He wasn't a knucklehead

1207
00:55:16,120 --> 00:55:18,480
Speaker 7: about it. He understood where I was coming from. I

1208
00:55:18,600 --> 00:55:21,080
Speaker 7: told him, if anyone asks why, I'm not there to

1209
00:55:21,239 --> 00:55:24,560
Speaker 7: tell them the truth or lie. At this point in

1210
00:55:24,600 --> 00:55:27,160
Speaker 7: my life, my immediate family is more important than people

1211
00:55:27,200 --> 00:55:29,959
Speaker 7: who have been absent from my life for thirty two years,

1212
00:55:30,239 --> 00:55:32,880
Speaker 7: So don't really care what he tells them. As far

1213
00:55:32,960 --> 00:55:35,480
Speaker 7: as his mom, I'll be staying no contact and blocking

1214
00:55:35,480 --> 00:55:37,279
Speaker 7: the number that she called me from. My wife and

1215
00:55:37,320 --> 00:55:39,440
Speaker 7: I both agree that it's best for me and our family,

1216
00:55:39,840 --> 00:55:42,600
Speaker 7: not only for our mental reasons, but for financial reasons.

1217
00:55:42,760 --> 00:55:44,680
Speaker 7: I didn't work as hard as I did to get

1218
00:55:44,719 --> 00:55:47,080
Speaker 7: where I am to lose it all to her. Some

1219
00:55:47,239 --> 00:55:49,320
Speaker 7: of you suggested I'm going to have a small goodbye

1220
00:55:49,400 --> 00:55:52,840
Speaker 7: for my dad on my own time. Again, thanks Internet strangers.

1221
00:55:53,000 --> 00:55:54,920
Speaker 7: I never knew so many random people could be so

1222
00:55:55,080 --> 00:55:57,440
Speaker 7: nice and caring this old guy truly thanks to.

1223
00:55:57,480 --> 00:56:00,399
Speaker 1: All of you. And that is the end of that story. Wow.

1224
00:56:01,120 --> 00:56:05,760
Speaker 5: Yeah, I think that's great, making the great decision because

1225
00:56:05,760 --> 00:56:07,640
Speaker 5: I was I was thinking too, like even if it

1226
00:56:07,800 --> 00:56:10,080
Speaker 5: wasn't for financial reasons that he wanted to see her

1227
00:56:10,200 --> 00:56:12,560
Speaker 5: like and he and she's wait that she wanted to

1228
00:56:12,600 --> 00:56:15,120
Speaker 5: see him and she somehow just did want to reconnect it,

1229
00:56:15,920 --> 00:56:19,440
Speaker 5: I mean one like no, but even if he went

1230
00:56:19,480 --> 00:56:21,560
Speaker 5: along with that, it probably wouldn't be a good relationship

1231
00:56:21,600 --> 00:56:24,440
Speaker 5: anyway because of how she just is as a person.

1232
00:56:24,840 --> 00:56:28,440
Speaker 7: So it's just yeah, putting the boundaries down for herself,

1233
00:56:28,920 --> 00:56:32,799
Speaker 7: not losing any more time or money to them.

1234
00:56:33,040 --> 00:56:35,880
Speaker 1: Good. It's wild good for you and O's in a

1235
00:56:35,920 --> 00:56:37,120
Speaker 1: great place with this fan really is.

1236
00:56:38,600 --> 00:56:42,040
Speaker 6: It's just kind of crazy how Op's life just turned

1237
00:56:42,080 --> 00:56:44,440
Speaker 6: around to be amazing too.

1238
00:56:45,480 --> 00:56:48,400
Speaker 1: Two kids and a wife. He did that, t he

1239
00:56:48,719 --> 00:56:52,480
Speaker 1: did that put all that work in himself, and that's amazing.

1240
00:56:53,680 --> 00:56:56,080
Speaker 3: Sam here og host. We're gonna get back to these stories.

1241
00:56:56,120 --> 00:56:58,080
Speaker 3: But here's three minutes fads from our sponsors.

1242
00:56:58,120 --> 00:57:01,880
Speaker 6: First, my aunt refused to pay her debts, but always

1243
00:57:01,960 --> 00:57:02,480
Speaker 6: has stuff.

1244
00:57:02,760 --> 00:57:05,120
Speaker 1: I always got money for fun things.

1245
00:57:05,280 --> 00:57:08,239
Speaker 6: Right contexts. My grandma had four kids, three daughters, and

1246
00:57:08,280 --> 00:57:10,600
Speaker 6: the youngest child is a son. My mom is the

1247
00:57:10,680 --> 00:57:14,239
Speaker 6: older middle child, being the youngest daughter. She had very

1248
00:57:14,360 --> 00:57:18,520
Speaker 6: close relationships with my grandparents. My grandpa was a successful

1249
00:57:18,600 --> 00:57:21,520
Speaker 6: banker in the Central Bank of the country and has

1250
00:57:21,600 --> 00:57:25,040
Speaker 6: subsequently retired and now it works in the Pinsioners Association

1251
00:57:25,360 --> 00:57:27,720
Speaker 6: of the bank. By the way, this comes from South

1252
00:57:27,760 --> 00:57:30,360
Speaker 6: Asian overkill and if you want to spit your old stories,

1253
00:57:30,360 --> 00:57:32,320
Speaker 6: go to the arsash Okay story telling selbru It. Then

1254
00:57:32,360 --> 00:57:34,720
Speaker 6: my mom and dad moved away after they got married,

1255
00:57:34,920 --> 00:57:38,080
Speaker 6: and then they had me an oversimplified rewind of the

1256
00:57:38,160 --> 00:57:42,240
Speaker 6: last twenty to thirty years of my extent family history,

1257
00:57:42,760 --> 00:57:45,040
Speaker 6: so the main story. A few years ago, my mom

1258
00:57:45,120 --> 00:57:48,960
Speaker 6: and my dad gave my eldest aunts entitled Aunt, almost

1259
00:57:49,040 --> 00:57:53,000
Speaker 6: ten thousand dollars to fund their older daughter's college aspirations.

1260
00:57:53,440 --> 00:57:56,720
Speaker 6: This was before the VID and my parents' finances were good.

1261
00:57:57,080 --> 00:57:59,200
Speaker 6: We would go on holiday and they were in the

1262
00:57:59,240 --> 00:58:02,280
Speaker 6: process of buying their first home. And the following years,

1263
00:58:02,360 --> 00:58:05,880
Speaker 6: due to my aunt's failing food processing in company, my

1264
00:58:06,040 --> 00:58:08,880
Speaker 6: parents and my mother and my other aunt gave more

1265
00:58:08,920 --> 00:58:12,400
Speaker 6: and more money for no return. Today I estimate my

1266
00:58:12,480 --> 00:58:15,360
Speaker 6: parents had given more than two hundred and fifty thousand

1267
00:58:15,720 --> 00:58:18,640
Speaker 6: and my other aunt around one hundred and fifty thousand.

1268
00:58:18,880 --> 00:58:22,080
Speaker 6: The VID hit and my grandma passed away. Family politics

1269
00:58:22,320 --> 00:58:24,040
Speaker 6: and the fact that we're so far away on the

1270
00:58:24,120 --> 00:58:27,280
Speaker 6: other side of the planet, strapped down by lockdowns and quarantines.

1271
00:58:27,720 --> 00:58:31,880
Speaker 6: Nothing was easy. During this time, my parents' finances became tougher.

1272
00:58:32,320 --> 00:58:34,680
Speaker 6: My parents wanted to send me to a good secondary school.

1273
00:58:35,000 --> 00:58:37,560
Speaker 6: The only one good in my area is a private school.

1274
00:58:37,920 --> 00:58:40,320
Speaker 6: So a huge chunk of my dad's monthly salary goes

1275
00:58:40,360 --> 00:58:43,760
Speaker 6: to my school fees, which I really appreciate. My mom

1276
00:58:43,920 --> 00:58:46,960
Speaker 6: had to have multiple treatments and therapies done for her

1277
00:58:47,000 --> 00:58:50,960
Speaker 6: frozen shoulder, not to mention the cost of living crisis.

1278
00:58:51,200 --> 00:58:54,800
Speaker 6: That means our weekly groceries would have been twenty five

1279
00:58:54,880 --> 00:58:58,960
Speaker 6: pounds or even thirty pounds. Now we're at fifty pounds

1280
00:58:59,120 --> 00:59:03,640
Speaker 6: or in extreme case, sixty pounds. The Baines are getting

1281
00:59:03,720 --> 00:59:08,840
Speaker 6: up there. The bans are expensive for brecky uh huh,

1282
00:59:08,920 --> 00:59:11,000
Speaker 6: because they're they're they're they're English.

1283
00:59:11,360 --> 00:59:14,360
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. There's expensive equipment around.

1284
00:59:14,240 --> 00:59:17,640
Speaker 6: Boys not there, not actually between here and there, there's

1285
00:59:17,720 --> 00:59:18,640
Speaker 6: not that much expensive.

1286
00:59:18,680 --> 00:59:23,200
Speaker 2: Well, we have a really I need torpedoes. I need torpedoes.

1287
00:59:23,840 --> 00:59:26,360
Speaker 2: So when Dakota goes off the rails, yeah I can.

1288
00:59:26,560 --> 00:59:28,440
Speaker 1: That would help them. That just would scare them, That

1289
00:59:28,520 --> 00:59:28,960
Speaker 1: would that.

1290
00:59:29,120 --> 00:59:31,640
Speaker 7: Yeah, get those little like pool diving torpedoes that like

1291
00:59:31,760 --> 00:59:33,880
Speaker 7: kids dive after the test them.

1292
00:59:34,360 --> 00:59:36,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, they're they're tough. They got to synk to the

1293
00:59:36,400 --> 00:59:38,640
Speaker 1: bottom of the lot. I really do that makes sense.

1294
00:59:39,000 --> 00:59:41,480
Speaker 6: So my mom asked my entitled aunt to return to

1295
00:59:41,600 --> 00:59:43,520
Speaker 6: return some of the money she was out, not even

1296
00:59:43,560 --> 00:59:46,840
Speaker 6: all it just some. My in response cut her off

1297
00:59:46,920 --> 00:59:49,440
Speaker 6: and said, what would you know? You live away to

1298
00:59:49,560 --> 00:59:52,680
Speaker 6: fory country. This is already a sensitive issue for my parents.

1299
00:59:52,920 --> 00:59:55,680
Speaker 6: My dad had lost his mother and my mom did too.

1300
00:59:56,120 --> 00:59:59,000
Speaker 6: Not only did this, not only this, but the fact

1301
00:59:59,040 --> 01:00:02,360
Speaker 6: that my parents were I felt helpless, unable to do anything,

1302
01:00:02,720 --> 01:00:08,000
Speaker 6: desperately calling doctor for doctor, hospital after hospital. I saw

1303
01:00:08,120 --> 01:00:10,800
Speaker 6: the trauma on my parents' experience during the VID watching.

1304
01:00:10,840 --> 01:00:11,360
Speaker 1: It was hard.

1305
01:00:11,640 --> 01:00:15,680
Speaker 6: I couldn't imagine what my parents felt. Then twenty twenty one,

1306
01:00:15,960 --> 01:00:18,160
Speaker 6: we finally got the chance to come to our home country,

1307
01:00:18,480 --> 01:00:21,400
Speaker 6: and we did. Once we had reached our grandparents' house,

1308
01:00:21,680 --> 01:00:24,680
Speaker 6: it was rough. It was custom for relatives, mainly siblings,

1309
01:00:24,760 --> 01:00:28,800
Speaker 6: to drop in say hi, even given some snacks when

1310
01:00:29,040 --> 01:00:32,200
Speaker 6: someone is visiting their parents home. All right, we thought

1311
01:00:32,680 --> 01:00:35,960
Speaker 6: it was quite It was quite late anyways, despite leaving

1312
01:00:36,120 --> 01:00:38,880
Speaker 6: two streets away they didn't visit the first day, or

1313
01:00:38,960 --> 01:00:43,640
Speaker 6: the second, nor the third. Excuses after excuses, and finally

1314
01:00:43,680 --> 01:00:46,800
Speaker 6: they came in to take food a week later. My

1315
01:00:46,920 --> 01:00:49,800
Speaker 6: cousins were distant and not even bothering to say hi,

1316
01:00:50,360 --> 01:00:53,000
Speaker 6: it's fine. I thought, I really shouldn't expect these things

1317
01:00:53,040 --> 01:00:55,880
Speaker 6: from people, and either way, it was a long time

1318
01:00:55,880 --> 01:00:59,320
Speaker 6: ago since we had spoken. Then, once we came back

1319
01:00:59,720 --> 01:01:04,840
Speaker 6: home after our trip, I entotled aunts Oa Datta, the

1320
01:01:04,920 --> 01:01:07,520
Speaker 6: same one that my parents, without a second thought dumped

1321
01:01:07,520 --> 01:01:11,440
Speaker 6: their savings for, called my mom. She was really disrespectful.

1322
01:01:11,880 --> 01:01:15,320
Speaker 6: She was like, you can look after you and your son.

1323
01:01:15,840 --> 01:01:19,240
Speaker 6: That might not sound bad, but she said some stuff

1324
01:01:19,360 --> 01:01:21,840
Speaker 6: before that I do not wish to translate input here.

1325
01:01:22,200 --> 01:01:25,160
Speaker 6: My mom considered her like a daughter going shopping, and

1326
01:01:25,280 --> 01:01:27,520
Speaker 6: she was even one of the bride'smaids for my mom

1327
01:01:27,560 --> 01:01:30,520
Speaker 6: when she got married with my dad. This devastated her

1328
01:01:30,920 --> 01:01:32,480
Speaker 6: and my mom was shattered.

1329
01:01:32,960 --> 01:01:35,720
Speaker 1: I don't think. I don't think she ever got that money.

1330
01:01:36,200 --> 01:01:38,520
Speaker 1: You think, so, what do you think intercepted it?

1331
01:01:39,000 --> 01:01:41,600
Speaker 6: The aunts put that bill up to a four hundred

1332
01:01:41,600 --> 01:01:44,000
Speaker 6: and ten k. The entitled aunt took the money.

1333
01:01:44,120 --> 01:01:46,160
Speaker 7: The entitled aunt, I thought you were saying that you

1334
01:01:46,240 --> 01:01:48,240
Speaker 7: don't think the aunt actually got the money.

1335
01:01:48,600 --> 01:01:51,200
Speaker 6: Because like they gave her money for the daughter's school.

1336
01:01:51,320 --> 01:01:53,760
Speaker 1: Mm hmmm, oh you think that. I see, I see,

1337
01:01:54,120 --> 01:01:59,440
Speaker 1: I'm following. I'm following. Yeah, I am assuming. Maybe not,

1338
01:02:00,440 --> 01:02:04,680
Speaker 1: maybe not. I wouldn't be surprised with this lady, dude,

1339
01:02:05,080 --> 01:02:06,520
Speaker 1: Like what amulyn?

1340
01:02:06,720 --> 01:02:09,320
Speaker 6: Why did the aunt need money again? Because she doesn't work.

1341
01:02:09,800 --> 01:02:11,480
Speaker 6: She's keeping up with all the Joneses.

1342
01:02:12,440 --> 01:02:14,840
Speaker 1: It's hard. It's hard guming up with Joneses. They always

1343
01:02:14,880 --> 01:02:17,280
Speaker 1: buy new things. Yeah, those jones Is.

1344
01:02:17,680 --> 01:02:20,960
Speaker 6: My aunt just separated herself from the rest of the family,

1345
01:02:21,400 --> 01:02:25,120
Speaker 6: owing debts with almost everyone. But then more recently they

1346
01:02:25,200 --> 01:02:27,840
Speaker 6: bought more jewelry at a time when gold price is

1347
01:02:27,920 --> 01:02:31,400
Speaker 6: so high. They bought a new TV, new fridge, new

1348
01:02:31,480 --> 01:02:34,640
Speaker 6: ac and my mom's younger brother thinks that they might

1349
01:02:34,760 --> 01:02:38,280
Speaker 6: sue buy a new car. It's clear that they have money,

1350
01:02:38,800 --> 01:02:42,240
Speaker 6: they just refuse to repay us. Then my other aunt,

1351
01:02:42,760 --> 01:02:46,000
Speaker 6: she holds her housewarming ceremony she has been preparing for

1352
01:02:46,160 --> 01:02:49,280
Speaker 6: more than five years. It'd be the first proper event

1353
01:02:49,360 --> 01:02:51,520
Speaker 6: my family has been since the passing on my grandma.

1354
01:02:51,960 --> 01:02:55,560
Speaker 6: My titled aunt makes a ruckus for weeks before finally

1355
01:02:55,680 --> 01:02:59,360
Speaker 6: agreeing to come, but her husband wouldn't come. One day

1356
01:03:00,040 --> 01:03:02,400
Speaker 6: in the event, my mom had asked her about her

1357
01:03:02,480 --> 01:03:05,760
Speaker 6: dress and she said it looked new. My aunt suddenly

1358
01:03:05,840 --> 01:03:09,000
Speaker 6: becomes very defensive, and I don't think to say this lightly.

1359
01:03:09,520 --> 01:03:12,640
Speaker 6: She raises her voice and stomps on the ground. She shouts,

1360
01:03:13,000 --> 01:03:14,920
Speaker 6: what do you mean? I've had this for years?

1361
01:03:15,400 --> 01:03:19,840
Speaker 1: Why are we being so defensive about this, Aunt? Why

1362
01:03:19,920 --> 01:03:22,160
Speaker 1: can't you just say it in a column tone? I've

1363
01:03:22,200 --> 01:03:23,160
Speaker 1: had this for years?

1364
01:03:23,600 --> 01:03:29,640
Speaker 2: Boo, no, no, no.

1365
01:03:30,520 --> 01:03:34,200
Speaker 6: This was at the private clubhouse area inside of the

1366
01:03:34,280 --> 01:03:37,800
Speaker 6: new apartment complex in my other aunt's new place. This

1367
01:03:38,000 --> 01:03:41,080
Speaker 6: was really embarrassing. My aunt never calls or even texts

1368
01:03:41,120 --> 01:03:43,840
Speaker 6: my mom unless she needs my dad, who is a doctor,

1369
01:03:44,080 --> 01:03:47,720
Speaker 6: to look over her medical reports. But then she blames

1370
01:03:47,760 --> 01:03:49,760
Speaker 6: my mom for isolating her. I mean, I don't really

1371
01:03:49,800 --> 01:03:52,160
Speaker 6: feel like we have any advice. She'd even I don't know.

1372
01:03:52,200 --> 01:03:53,760
Speaker 1: I don't feel like you should ask for advice. But

1373
01:03:53,880 --> 01:03:54,560
Speaker 1: liked this aunt.

1374
01:03:55,360 --> 01:03:57,200
Speaker 6: What would you do with this ant? What can you

1375
01:03:57,200 --> 01:03:58,480
Speaker 6: do with this ant? She took all your money.

1376
01:04:00,160 --> 01:04:02,720
Speaker 7: You gotta have a common conversation with this ant, even

1377
01:04:02,760 --> 01:04:03,600
Speaker 7: though you may not want to.

1378
01:04:04,080 --> 01:04:05,000
Speaker 1: You might have to do that.

1379
01:04:05,080 --> 01:04:07,240
Speaker 7: If you want to see your money again, you can

1380
01:04:07,320 --> 01:04:10,840
Speaker 7: go to her and you can be like, you know, hey,

1381
01:04:11,400 --> 01:04:12,240
Speaker 7: this is so cool.

1382
01:04:12,320 --> 01:04:15,320
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, I love these kitchen appliances. Whoa, this

1383
01:04:15,480 --> 01:04:18,600
Speaker 1: is such a nice TV. Wow. Oh wow.

1384
01:04:18,640 --> 01:04:21,000
Speaker 7: You're thinking about getting a new car or like someone

1385
01:04:21,280 --> 01:04:23,400
Speaker 7: told me that you're thinking about getting a new car?

1386
01:04:23,480 --> 01:04:26,959
Speaker 1: Which one are you getting? Talk about that? Oh my god? Cool?

1387
01:04:27,040 --> 01:04:28,760
Speaker 1: Are you thinking of like a certain color? Oh my gosh,

1388
01:04:28,800 --> 01:04:30,880
Speaker 1: that's a great color. I love that. Oh my gosh,

1389
01:04:30,920 --> 01:04:33,120
Speaker 1: that's such a nice car. How much do these guys

1390
01:04:33,240 --> 01:04:34,480
Speaker 1: go for nowadays?

1391
01:04:35,040 --> 01:04:37,920
Speaker 7: And then pull it up and be like, well, if

1392
01:04:37,960 --> 01:04:41,280
Speaker 7: you can afford that much, then maybe you can afford

1393
01:04:41,360 --> 01:04:46,439
Speaker 7: to pay me back, right right, And then the problems solved.

1394
01:04:46,720 --> 01:04:48,800
Speaker 1: I agree with that problem solved. I like that tactic.

1395
01:04:49,160 --> 01:04:51,000
Speaker 1: I mean, you know, who knows how she'll react, But

1396
01:04:51,320 --> 01:04:52,280
Speaker 1: but maybe.

1397
01:04:52,240 --> 01:04:54,360
Speaker 6: I don't know if it would be with a family member,

1398
01:04:54,400 --> 01:04:58,040
Speaker 6: but maybe someone that's also bougie like and they're a

1399
01:04:58,080 --> 01:04:58,760
Speaker 6: plant and they.

1400
01:04:58,680 --> 01:04:59,280
Speaker 2: Do what you did.

1401
01:04:59,480 --> 01:05:02,560
Speaker 6: But then at the they're like, huh, that's funny because

1402
01:05:02,600 --> 01:05:04,520
Speaker 6: everything you just said totals out to be one hundred

1403
01:05:04,560 --> 01:05:07,320
Speaker 6: thousand dollars and you owe your family four hundred thousand dollars.

1404
01:05:07,520 --> 01:05:10,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, you do something, get a paid actor. Yeah,

1405
01:05:10,480 --> 01:05:12,440
Speaker 1: that'd be cool. Update.

1406
01:05:12,560 --> 01:05:14,880
Speaker 6: So today my mom finally got the chance to call

1407
01:05:15,000 --> 01:05:16,040
Speaker 6: my entitled ant.

1408
01:05:16,680 --> 01:05:17,160
Speaker 1: They spoke.

1409
01:05:17,560 --> 01:05:20,120
Speaker 6: So my mom is done with the niceties and for realities.

1410
01:05:20,240 --> 01:05:23,920
Speaker 6: She straightly and squarely says, so when can we expect

1411
01:05:23,960 --> 01:05:27,240
Speaker 6: some money back? I'll write down transcript of the entitled

1412
01:05:27,280 --> 01:05:29,200
Speaker 6: ant and my mom, who do you want to be? Okay,

1413
01:05:29,240 --> 01:05:31,240
Speaker 6: I'll be, I'll be the entitled dant.

1414
01:05:31,760 --> 01:05:33,840
Speaker 1: I've told you I don't have the money.

1415
01:05:34,040 --> 01:05:37,120
Speaker 6: Look, we're strapped for cash too, but we need some

1416
01:05:37,200 --> 01:05:37,720
Speaker 6: money back.

1417
01:05:37,960 --> 01:05:41,080
Speaker 7: Unlike you, I've not got any money to spend on

1418
01:05:41,320 --> 01:05:43,080
Speaker 7: lavish holidays and gold.

1419
01:05:43,600 --> 01:05:46,640
Speaker 6: My mom had also bought gold earlier, but this was

1420
01:05:46,720 --> 01:05:50,440
Speaker 6: under a gold scheme from a jewelry store heavily discounted

1421
01:05:50,560 --> 01:05:54,000
Speaker 6: and way before gold price hiked. My mom usually never

1422
01:05:54,080 --> 01:05:57,320
Speaker 6: wears her jewelry and sees it as an investment. The

1423
01:05:57,440 --> 01:05:59,920
Speaker 6: only way my entitled ant even found out is when

1424
01:06:00,080 --> 01:06:03,840
Speaker 6: my retired grandpa was setting into his bank locker for

1425
01:06:03,960 --> 01:06:07,040
Speaker 6: safe kipping, and she was there when he took it

1426
01:06:07,120 --> 01:06:08,880
Speaker 6: out of his homelocker to take.

1427
01:06:08,760 --> 01:06:09,439
Speaker 1: It to the bank.

1428
01:06:09,760 --> 01:06:12,320
Speaker 6: We can do that because we saved up money, and

1429
01:06:12,440 --> 01:06:16,320
Speaker 6: that holiday was our first proper family holiday in five years.

1430
01:06:16,760 --> 01:06:20,040
Speaker 1: We saved up for almost a year ago. We save

1431
01:06:20,200 --> 01:06:25,360
Speaker 1: up money as well, but we are poor as peasants. Yes,

1432
01:06:25,560 --> 01:06:28,640
Speaker 1: you are going on holidays and buying new phones.

1433
01:06:28,840 --> 01:06:32,040
Speaker 6: Either way, we don't owe anyone money, so we can

1434
01:06:32,120 --> 01:06:35,520
Speaker 6: buy things, because that's what money is for, isn't it.

1435
01:06:36,000 --> 01:06:38,280
Speaker 1: I mean, what did you do with the money we

1436
01:06:38,400 --> 01:06:38,720
Speaker 1: gave you?

1437
01:06:39,400 --> 01:06:42,640
Speaker 7: You are stepping out of your boundary as a younger sister.

1438
01:06:43,040 --> 01:06:46,440
Speaker 6: Oh, he's mom, I don't care anymore. Just give us

1439
01:06:46,480 --> 01:06:48,840
Speaker 6: some of your money and we'll give you time, and

1440
01:06:49,000 --> 01:06:50,840
Speaker 6: you can do it in chunks. How about five hundred

1441
01:06:50,840 --> 01:06:54,600
Speaker 6: pounds to start with? Okay, So anyway, how's the weather heard?

1442
01:06:54,760 --> 01:06:58,080
Speaker 6: There's been heavy rains. The call is ended by intitledam.

1443
01:06:58,160 --> 01:07:01,560
Speaker 6: Then my intitledet proceeds to block my mom on WhatsApp.

1444
01:07:01,760 --> 01:07:04,640
Speaker 6: My mom says she doesn't care anymore and will keep

1445
01:07:04,680 --> 01:07:07,200
Speaker 6: on pressuring them until they get their money back and

1446
01:07:07,320 --> 01:07:11,200
Speaker 6: apology from my cousin who insulted her. I might be biased,

1447
01:07:11,600 --> 01:07:14,560
Speaker 6: but no matter how tight our finances are, we must

1448
01:07:14,720 --> 01:07:18,480
Speaker 6: almost never compromise on things for our family. My mom

1449
01:07:18,560 --> 01:07:23,160
Speaker 6: has always fills her suitcase with snacks and inninities, stationary

1450
01:07:23,280 --> 01:07:26,520
Speaker 6: and utilities they don't find in their country. Or when

1451
01:07:26,560 --> 01:07:29,320
Speaker 6: I helped my mom save up to buy my grandma

1452
01:07:29,440 --> 01:07:32,439
Speaker 6: a new phone, my uncle and Apple watch, his wife

1453
01:07:32,520 --> 01:07:35,320
Speaker 6: a new phone, and their kid in Ninendo switch and

1454
01:07:36,000 --> 01:07:39,160
Speaker 6: as he's always looking out for mine, my entitled aunt

1455
01:07:39,560 --> 01:07:44,240
Speaker 6: saw these things and called out favoitism, favoritism among the

1456
01:07:44,320 --> 01:07:47,600
Speaker 6: family and said that we didn't deserve the money back

1457
01:07:47,640 --> 01:07:50,600
Speaker 6: because my mom was able to buy these things for

1458
01:07:50,760 --> 01:07:54,400
Speaker 6: the family. My dad, who is a psychiatrist and has

1459
01:07:54,480 --> 01:07:56,760
Speaker 6: been for the last twenty years, says my aunt is

1460
01:07:56,880 --> 01:07:59,840
Speaker 6: essentially jealous of all these things and it is expecting

1461
01:08:00,280 --> 01:08:03,720
Speaker 6: something from my mom. My uncle, my mom's younger brother,

1462
01:08:04,040 --> 01:08:06,760
Speaker 6: the one who's got Napple Watch, was able to save

1463
01:08:06,880 --> 01:08:09,240
Speaker 6: up and buy my other aunt an airfryer as a

1464
01:08:09,320 --> 01:08:12,840
Speaker 6: housewarming gift. My entitlant aunt tried to swindle the package

1465
01:08:12,880 --> 01:08:15,120
Speaker 6: on the way there, as we had to travel to

1466
01:08:15,200 --> 01:08:18,280
Speaker 6: two different vehicles. That's crazy for an air frier.

1467
01:08:18,800 --> 01:08:22,599
Speaker 7: It's like she's like, oh, you're getting all of these

1468
01:08:22,640 --> 01:08:26,720
Speaker 7: other fine utilities for these other people. I deserve something too,

1469
01:08:26,840 --> 01:08:32,000
Speaker 7: And it's like, well, yeah, you got four hundred thousand dollars, like, think.

1470
01:08:31,880 --> 01:08:35,760
Speaker 1: We got youa dude. That's wild? Yeah, an air frior

1471
01:08:36,040 --> 01:08:36,920
Speaker 1: interest on this.

1472
01:08:37,120 --> 01:08:39,560
Speaker 6: Honestly, this woman doesn't know what Facebook marketplace is.

1473
01:08:40,400 --> 01:08:40,599
Speaker 1: Well.

1474
01:08:40,720 --> 01:08:42,519
Speaker 7: I mean, if you want to get a brand new something,

1475
01:08:42,720 --> 01:08:47,160
Speaker 7: you guess yeah, yeah, thief, thief.

1476
01:08:47,760 --> 01:08:50,799
Speaker 6: Our car left earlier, but due to some car issues

1477
01:08:50,960 --> 01:08:53,280
Speaker 6: and breaking down, we had to stop and stay in

1478
01:08:53,360 --> 01:08:56,640
Speaker 6: a small village off the motorway until someone rescued us

1479
01:08:57,000 --> 01:08:59,479
Speaker 6: or repaired the car. My uncle, who was driving the

1480
01:08:59,560 --> 01:09:01,880
Speaker 6: other car, my entitled aunt, and other people wanted to

1481
01:09:01,920 --> 01:09:03,640
Speaker 6: come and pick us up or at least connect with

1482
01:09:03,800 --> 01:09:07,400
Speaker 6: us for comfort's sake. The village was very hot, as

1483
01:09:07,439 --> 01:09:11,000
Speaker 6: a heat wave was sweeping through. It was around fifty celsius,

1484
01:09:11,439 --> 01:09:13,120
Speaker 6: and the ac was one of the things that broke

1485
01:09:13,160 --> 01:09:15,519
Speaker 6: in the vehicle. We had no place to actually sit down,

1486
01:09:15,640 --> 01:09:17,880
Speaker 6: nothing to eat properly, as we didn't want to eat

1487
01:09:17,960 --> 01:09:20,280
Speaker 6: something bad and be sick on the road trip, and

1488
01:09:20,360 --> 01:09:22,760
Speaker 6: not to mention, there was literally nowhere to go to

1489
01:09:22,840 --> 01:09:25,839
Speaker 6: the bathroom. My dad and my phone didn't have any signal,

1490
01:09:26,160 --> 01:09:29,120
Speaker 6: and this was only twenty minutes away from the state border.

1491
01:09:29,680 --> 01:09:32,160
Speaker 6: My entitled aunt said no in order my uncle to

1492
01:09:32,280 --> 01:09:36,120
Speaker 6: keep driving and to essentially leave us stranded. My grandpa,

1493
01:09:36,600 --> 01:09:38,720
Speaker 6: who was on it as well, then said to my

1494
01:09:38,880 --> 01:09:41,439
Speaker 6: uncle to ignore my aunt and to drive to us. Dude,

1495
01:09:41,760 --> 01:09:45,479
Speaker 6: this aunt, what is the problem? She literally wants you dad,

1496
01:09:45,760 --> 01:09:47,280
Speaker 6: so she can take all your things.

1497
01:09:47,720 --> 01:09:52,639
Speaker 7: Yeah, I don't know, Like what we're wrong to get

1498
01:09:52,680 --> 01:09:55,800
Speaker 7: her to be this entitled in her life? Like was

1499
01:09:55,840 --> 01:09:57,880
Speaker 7: she always like this even as a child.

1500
01:09:57,680 --> 01:10:01,920
Speaker 1: Or she always got the can first before dinner? Yeah?

1501
01:10:02,040 --> 01:10:05,160
Speaker 1: I guess so. God, It's just like, how do you

1502
01:10:05,240 --> 01:10:06,400
Speaker 1: even talk with this person?

1503
01:10:06,520 --> 01:10:09,639
Speaker 7: Because she avoided the question earlier when when the mom

1504
01:10:09,840 --> 01:10:12,040
Speaker 7: was like, so what did what do you even do

1505
01:10:12,200 --> 01:10:13,320
Speaker 7: with the money that we gave you?

1506
01:10:13,439 --> 01:10:16,200
Speaker 1: If you're poor as peasants? What do you spend your

1507
01:10:16,240 --> 01:10:16,560
Speaker 1: money on?

1508
01:10:16,680 --> 01:10:16,840
Speaker 2: Then?

1509
01:10:16,960 --> 01:10:19,320
Speaker 1: And she was like, how dare you speak out of line?

1510
01:10:19,880 --> 01:10:21,880
Speaker 2: I'm older, you little sister.

1511
01:10:22,160 --> 01:10:24,479
Speaker 1: You can't ask me questions about what I do with

1512
01:10:24,600 --> 01:10:26,760
Speaker 1: your four hundred thousand dollars. Dude.

1513
01:10:26,760 --> 01:10:28,519
Speaker 6: She definitely would have slapped her if they had that

1514
01:10:29,000 --> 01:10:29,439
Speaker 6: in person.

1515
01:10:30,800 --> 01:10:32,880
Speaker 1: You take the glove off and slap her with the glove.

1516
01:10:33,360 --> 01:10:35,400
Speaker 1: That's what she would do because she's a rich person.

1517
01:10:35,560 --> 01:10:38,519
Speaker 2: Back to the story, the air Friar was in their vehicle.

1518
01:10:38,920 --> 01:10:42,080
Speaker 6: My uncle didn't tell anyone what it was. Actually, it

1519
01:10:42,200 --> 01:10:44,599
Speaker 6: was just an unmarked heavy box, but it was meant

1520
01:10:44,640 --> 01:10:47,680
Speaker 6: to be surprised to everyone. Once they had reached us,

1521
01:10:47,720 --> 01:10:49,920
Speaker 6: my uncle and grandpa came to us while my aunt

1522
01:10:50,040 --> 01:10:53,439
Speaker 6: and my uncle's kids and wife stay behind. I told

1523
01:10:53,479 --> 01:10:55,920
Speaker 6: them that tried to open the package see what was

1524
01:10:55,960 --> 01:10:58,680
Speaker 6: in it. Other kids were trying to figure out. I

1525
01:10:58,760 --> 01:11:01,639
Speaker 6: didn't make sure it returned with them. My uncle came

1526
01:11:01,720 --> 01:11:04,200
Speaker 6: back to the car soon after since something was wrong,

1527
01:11:04,360 --> 01:11:07,120
Speaker 6: and moved the package to our car. When my entitled

1528
01:11:07,360 --> 01:11:10,280
Speaker 6: aunt went on a walk. Geez, didn't expect this supposed

1529
01:11:10,320 --> 01:11:12,560
Speaker 6: to be so long. My finger's hurt. So all my

1530
01:11:12,680 --> 01:11:15,320
Speaker 6: parents clowns to pressure my aunt for their money, for

1531
01:11:15,439 --> 01:11:18,960
Speaker 6: her money, my mom for not being nice to my aunt,

1532
01:11:19,040 --> 01:11:22,000
Speaker 6: and my uncle suspecting something to trying to seal something

1533
01:11:22,040 --> 01:11:22,439
Speaker 6: from him.

1534
01:11:22,760 --> 01:11:22,880
Speaker 1: Uh.

1535
01:11:23,200 --> 01:11:25,679
Speaker 6: I didn't understand that last one. But with the money,

1536
01:11:25,800 --> 01:11:28,920
Speaker 6: no get your money back. Also, there's this thing called

1537
01:11:30,120 --> 01:11:32,320
Speaker 6: you can take it to higher people and they can

1538
01:11:32,479 --> 01:11:35,080
Speaker 6: like put it through like these logistics and laws and

1539
01:11:35,160 --> 01:11:35,600
Speaker 6: things like that.

1540
01:11:35,920 --> 01:11:37,320
Speaker 1: Right, what is that called lawyers?

1541
01:11:37,640 --> 01:11:37,840
Speaker 2: Yeah?

1542
01:11:38,240 --> 01:11:40,559
Speaker 1: Yeah? And you take it to what court?

1543
01:11:40,880 --> 01:11:41,120
Speaker 9: Yeah?

1544
01:11:41,640 --> 01:11:41,880
Speaker 2: Yeah?

1545
01:11:42,840 --> 01:11:43,080
Speaker 9: Do that