1 00:00:00,320 --> 00:00:04,320 Speaker 1: This is Almost Good Advice with Ben Higgins and Ashley 2 00:00:04,400 --> 00:00:09,799 Speaker 1: Ayakonetti Almost Famous Listeners. We're back for another week of 3 00:00:09,920 --> 00:00:13,080 Speaker 1: our new segment on the Almost Famous podcast. Week one 4 00:00:13,160 --> 00:00:15,520 Speaker 1: went so well, thank you for listening. If you haven't 5 00:00:15,560 --> 00:00:17,400 Speaker 1: listened yet, they're ever green, so you can go back 6 00:00:17,480 --> 00:00:20,560 Speaker 1: and listen again. So massive hit, and we're hoping it 7 00:00:20,600 --> 00:00:23,000 Speaker 1: would because we love doing this. So we're here for 8 00:00:23,120 --> 00:00:27,560 Speaker 1: week two of Almost Good Advice. Now we'll start with 9 00:00:27,680 --> 00:00:31,640 Speaker 1: a question from Alexis. Here, I'll just read it's a 10 00:00:31,680 --> 00:00:32,080 Speaker 1: little long. 11 00:00:32,159 --> 00:00:34,520 Speaker 2: Oka say, it is a little long, but okay, I'm listening. 12 00:00:36,120 --> 00:00:38,720 Speaker 1: Alexis says, I've listened to the podcast for years and 13 00:00:38,760 --> 00:00:43,400 Speaker 1: it's the best. Thank you, Alexis, thank you. So here's 14 00:00:43,440 --> 00:00:46,400 Speaker 1: the question. I have been in relationship with my boyfriend 15 00:00:46,720 --> 00:00:50,320 Speaker 1: for nearly six years. And he's older and he has 16 00:00:50,440 --> 00:00:53,440 Speaker 1: one older sister. She's two and a half years older 17 00:00:53,520 --> 00:00:56,560 Speaker 1: than him, making her six and a half years older 18 00:00:56,640 --> 00:01:00,840 Speaker 1: than me. They are never particularly close sister brother, and 19 00:01:00,920 --> 00:01:03,960 Speaker 1: their family unit is not as close and chatty and 20 00:01:04,120 --> 00:01:08,120 Speaker 1: loud as my family. His parents are a bit reserved. 21 00:01:08,680 --> 00:01:10,880 Speaker 1: Ever since dating him, I have longed for a close 22 00:01:10,920 --> 00:01:15,080 Speaker 1: relationship with his sister Choi's loves being with her married 23 00:01:15,160 --> 00:01:19,120 Speaker 1: side of the family, i e. The other sister in laws. 24 00:01:19,440 --> 00:01:22,400 Speaker 1: It makes me feel left out. My boyfriend has brought 25 00:01:22,480 --> 00:01:25,360 Speaker 1: me up to his sister that I do want to 26 00:01:25,400 --> 00:01:27,640 Speaker 1: create a relationship with her, and she kind of said 27 00:01:27,760 --> 00:01:30,520 Speaker 1: she really isn't that close with her sister in laws 28 00:01:30,959 --> 00:01:35,400 Speaker 1: and they do their own thing. Obviously, engagement in marriage 29 00:01:35,920 --> 00:01:40,920 Speaker 1: is on mind slash horizon. I feel it'd be so 30 00:01:41,160 --> 00:01:43,360 Speaker 1: bad not to involve her in a wedding party, but 31 00:01:43,440 --> 00:01:46,640 Speaker 1: I believe it would be awkward if I had her 32 00:01:46,680 --> 00:01:50,320 Speaker 1: at all, and since I don't have relationship with her, 33 00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:54,480 Speaker 1: it would be awkward. I just wouldn't feel comfortable involving her. 34 00:01:55,440 --> 00:01:59,240 Speaker 1: The question is, how do I create a relationship with 35 00:01:59,360 --> 00:02:02,960 Speaker 1: a significant other sister after not having one for years, 36 00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:06,000 Speaker 1: and especially if an engagement is around the corner that 37 00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:08,959 Speaker 1: really sets the tone with them moving forward. 38 00:02:10,320 --> 00:02:14,480 Speaker 2: Hmm, Well, how do you become close to somebody who 39 00:02:14,480 --> 00:02:19,519 Speaker 2: doesn't seem interested in being close to you? I don't know. 40 00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:22,200 Speaker 1: Ben. 41 00:02:22,639 --> 00:02:26,040 Speaker 2: This is again why it's almost good advice, because there's 42 00:02:26,080 --> 00:02:30,160 Speaker 2: some things that I just can't. I don't so I 43 00:02:30,280 --> 00:02:32,919 Speaker 2: can tell you what I think about the whole wedding party. 44 00:02:33,680 --> 00:02:36,600 Speaker 2: I think you can ask her to be part of 45 00:02:36,680 --> 00:02:40,079 Speaker 2: the wedding party, even though she said she wouldn't feel 46 00:02:40,120 --> 00:02:42,760 Speaker 2: comfortable at all involving her. Okay, so here's the deal. 47 00:02:42,840 --> 00:02:44,160 Speaker 2: You can have her in the wedding party, but you 48 00:02:44,160 --> 00:02:46,920 Speaker 2: don't invite her to like the bachelorette, she doesn't even 49 00:02:46,960 --> 00:02:48,440 Speaker 2: have to be in your room. I don't know. She 50 00:02:48,520 --> 00:02:50,520 Speaker 2: probably doesn't even want to be part of your wedding party. 51 00:02:52,560 --> 00:02:53,600 Speaker 1: But I want you to. 52 00:02:53,919 --> 00:02:55,840 Speaker 2: I don't know. I want you to be close to 53 00:02:55,919 --> 00:02:59,320 Speaker 2: your sister in law. But but you but after so 54 00:02:59,400 --> 00:03:04,400 Speaker 2: many years, six years, you may it may not happen 55 00:03:04,520 --> 00:03:07,120 Speaker 2: for you. And it's six and then she's six and 56 00:03:07,160 --> 00:03:10,160 Speaker 2: a half years older than her. So you could just 57 00:03:10,320 --> 00:03:13,160 Speaker 2: blame the fact that possibly the sister in law just 58 00:03:13,240 --> 00:03:16,799 Speaker 2: feels like there's too much of like a generational difference 59 00:03:16,880 --> 00:03:19,880 Speaker 2: between the two of you, because if she's close to 60 00:03:19,960 --> 00:03:22,880 Speaker 2: the other sister in laws on her husband's side, maybe 61 00:03:23,080 --> 00:03:25,880 Speaker 2: they're more in the same stage of life and that's 62 00:03:25,880 --> 00:03:28,320 Speaker 2: why they bond. I don't know, what do you think. 63 00:03:29,120 --> 00:03:32,359 Speaker 1: Well, if we were sitting down as friends, Alexis, and 64 00:03:32,440 --> 00:03:36,440 Speaker 1: you asked me this question, I'd say, well, one you 65 00:03:36,520 --> 00:03:38,480 Speaker 1: don't have to be friends with your sister in law 66 00:03:38,600 --> 00:03:41,360 Speaker 1: like that isn't common. Honestly, I know more people who 67 00:03:41,440 --> 00:03:44,080 Speaker 1: are not close with their sister in laws than probably 68 00:03:44,200 --> 00:03:46,920 Speaker 1: people that are. That is not something that always happens. 69 00:03:47,680 --> 00:03:50,839 Speaker 1: And it's not like necessary to still be in love 70 00:03:51,360 --> 00:03:54,080 Speaker 1: and to have a good relationship with your you know, 71 00:03:54,800 --> 00:03:56,720 Speaker 1: boyfriend right now future for bedyance. 72 00:03:56,920 --> 00:03:58,200 Speaker 2: Yeah, it just needs to be cordial. 73 00:03:58,520 --> 00:04:01,720 Speaker 1: Yeah, taking breath, realize and Ashley's right, like, if you 74 00:04:01,800 --> 00:04:07,480 Speaker 1: can get to a place of being cordial, that's a win. 75 00:04:08,080 --> 00:04:11,840 Speaker 1: And relationships take time. You might be you know, five 76 00:04:11,920 --> 00:04:14,200 Speaker 1: years down the road, after a couple of family vacations 77 00:04:14,400 --> 00:04:16,960 Speaker 1: or whatever, you could find yourself having some memories with her, 78 00:04:17,400 --> 00:04:19,200 Speaker 1: and then all of a sudden, the relationship bossoms and 79 00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:22,200 Speaker 1: you forget this season of what I would say though, 80 00:04:22,600 --> 00:04:27,000 Speaker 1: to try to keep the peace as best as possible 81 00:04:27,080 --> 00:04:29,360 Speaker 1: right now, so you know, you in a sense, you 82 00:04:29,400 --> 00:04:31,840 Speaker 1: gotta fall on the sword, and you do got to 83 00:04:31,880 --> 00:04:34,040 Speaker 1: invite her to these wedding festivities. You do got to 84 00:04:34,080 --> 00:04:36,560 Speaker 1: have her in the wedding party. If you're having some 85 00:04:36,720 --> 00:04:38,680 Speaker 1: other sister laws in the wedding party, if you're not 86 00:04:38,720 --> 00:04:41,559 Speaker 1: having other sister laws and you don't, but keep the peace, 87 00:04:41,839 --> 00:04:44,920 Speaker 1: you know, don't let it feels like right now maybe 88 00:04:45,440 --> 00:04:48,200 Speaker 1: everything is pressing and all these big decisions need to 89 00:04:48,240 --> 00:04:51,920 Speaker 1: be made. I would say, there's there's a time and 90 00:04:51,960 --> 00:04:53,880 Speaker 1: a place to be the peacemaker and to just walk 91 00:04:53,920 --> 00:04:59,680 Speaker 1: through this slowly, to not make a big stance right now. 92 00:05:00,760 --> 00:05:03,200 Speaker 1: Bring her along, but just know you might never be 93 00:05:03,279 --> 00:05:05,520 Speaker 1: best friends, and that's okay, that's not You're not alone 94 00:05:05,560 --> 00:05:08,760 Speaker 1: in that. That's very common. But maybe one day, as 95 00:05:08,880 --> 00:05:10,880 Speaker 1: like moves on, you'll look back and you'll say, hey, 96 00:05:11,279 --> 00:05:14,000 Speaker 1: do you remember that time that we weren't really that close? 97 00:05:14,279 --> 00:05:16,559 Speaker 1: Look at us now we're having all these memories together. 98 00:05:16,839 --> 00:05:19,480 Speaker 2: Also, note that your boyfriend's not even that close to 99 00:05:19,600 --> 00:05:22,919 Speaker 2: his sister, so therefore it doesn't make a huge impact 100 00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:26,160 Speaker 2: on your life. Like if Jared didn't like hanging out 101 00:05:26,200 --> 00:05:29,360 Speaker 2: with Lauren, that would be a huge impact on my 102 00:05:29,440 --> 00:05:33,600 Speaker 2: life and it just wouldn't work, you know, depends on 103 00:05:33,640 --> 00:05:36,799 Speaker 2: the sibling relationship. That has to do with how close 104 00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:40,760 Speaker 2: that like you probably would need to comfortably be so 105 00:05:41,120 --> 00:05:41,800 Speaker 2: abby sent us. 106 00:05:41,839 --> 00:05:46,640 Speaker 1: The next one, alexis to close that out, just keep 107 00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:50,240 Speaker 1: the peace the best you can, and to be the 108 00:05:50,320 --> 00:05:54,120 Speaker 1: adult Abby writes in and says I'm at an exciting 109 00:05:54,240 --> 00:05:56,560 Speaker 1: juncture in my life and need advice on how to proceed. 110 00:05:56,680 --> 00:05:59,640 Speaker 1: I was laid off from a job that if being 111 00:05:59,720 --> 00:06:03,280 Speaker 1: on it, I felt pretty lackluster about. I also really 112 00:06:03,480 --> 00:06:14,360 Speaker 1: recently got married myself Clayton Eckerd and Jacob Rappini actually 113 00:06:14,440 --> 00:06:16,279 Speaker 1: asked my bridal party to be part of the wedding 114 00:06:16,279 --> 00:06:18,760 Speaker 1: through cameo. I do remember this now, Abby, and my 115 00:06:18,880 --> 00:06:21,400 Speaker 1: husband has agreed to support me during this time. Why 116 00:06:21,440 --> 00:06:24,000 Speaker 1: I figure out next step? My problem is the possibilities 117 00:06:24,040 --> 00:06:26,880 Speaker 1: are endless. I feel like there is so many exciting 118 00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:29,120 Speaker 1: options to pursue, but I'm scared to get out of 119 00:06:29,200 --> 00:06:33,080 Speaker 1: my comfort zone and them struggling to make any tangible goals. 120 00:06:33,880 --> 00:06:36,359 Speaker 1: As people who have excelled with a variety of endeavors 121 00:06:36,920 --> 00:06:39,960 Speaker 1: that span multiple industries, I love some advice on how 122 00:06:40,040 --> 00:06:42,920 Speaker 1: to get organized and get started on my pursuits. 123 00:06:45,400 --> 00:06:50,240 Speaker 2: My advice is just to be shameless, to just not 124 00:06:50,600 --> 00:06:56,200 Speaker 2: give a crap about not getting a response. You have 125 00:06:56,400 --> 00:07:00,760 Speaker 2: to just kind of put all things out there and 126 00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:05,320 Speaker 2: scour like the internet for the proper email addresses. You 127 00:07:05,400 --> 00:07:08,440 Speaker 2: know what I did when I was It was before 128 00:07:08,520 --> 00:07:10,720 Speaker 2: the Bachelor, Oh my gosh, before the Bachelor, but it 129 00:07:10,960 --> 00:07:16,119 Speaker 2: was after grad school. I like put a sizzle reel together, 130 00:07:16,200 --> 00:07:19,040 Speaker 2: like it just like a resume reel, and I sent it. 131 00:07:19,200 --> 00:07:24,160 Speaker 2: I fed xed it to certain like producers at Access, 132 00:07:24,240 --> 00:07:28,400 Speaker 2: Hollywood and et and all these things. Just like think 133 00:07:28,480 --> 00:07:32,440 Speaker 2: out of the box and just don't be scared to fail. 134 00:07:33,040 --> 00:07:35,160 Speaker 2: It's what's the worst that's going to happen, you know, 135 00:07:35,320 --> 00:07:38,560 Speaker 2: like really like you might be you might feel a 136 00:07:38,600 --> 00:07:41,840 Speaker 2: little embarrassed. Feeling embarrassed isn't a big deal when you 137 00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:43,080 Speaker 2: really put your mind to it. 138 00:07:45,400 --> 00:07:48,200 Speaker 1: Yeah, there, you know, depending on what age you are too, 139 00:07:48,960 --> 00:07:51,400 Speaker 1: and also your financial security, like I don't you know, 140 00:07:51,480 --> 00:07:54,440 Speaker 1: we don't know where you're at financially right now. If 141 00:07:54,480 --> 00:07:57,640 Speaker 1: you can afford to take a few months and you know, 142 00:07:57,760 --> 00:08:01,360 Speaker 1: kind of figure stuff out. But I know in my life, 143 00:08:01,840 --> 00:08:03,520 Speaker 1: you know, is first kind of having to figure out 144 00:08:03,560 --> 00:08:05,960 Speaker 1: my purpose or what I wanted my purpose to be. 145 00:08:06,040 --> 00:08:08,120 Speaker 1: And the purpose has changed multiple times from when I 146 00:08:08,240 --> 00:08:11,520 Speaker 1: was younger. You know, find out what you're really passionate about. 147 00:08:11,600 --> 00:08:12,920 Speaker 1: And one of the ways I like to find my 148 00:08:13,040 --> 00:08:15,400 Speaker 1: purpose is to figure out what angers me the most 149 00:08:15,440 --> 00:08:19,080 Speaker 1: in the world and then involve myself in some of 150 00:08:19,120 --> 00:08:21,120 Speaker 1: those solutions. So what are those things that really like 151 00:08:21,240 --> 00:08:25,440 Speaker 1: fire me up, that I feel are inefficient or unjust 152 00:08:26,320 --> 00:08:30,480 Speaker 1: or lacking skill And then enter into those either with 153 00:08:30,600 --> 00:08:33,000 Speaker 1: a company that's already doing the solutions or trying to 154 00:08:33,040 --> 00:08:35,920 Speaker 1: provide a solution myself. So that's one way find your purpose. 155 00:08:36,200 --> 00:08:38,480 Speaker 1: What kind of what could you get fired up about? 156 00:08:38,960 --> 00:08:40,800 Speaker 1: And the next is right off of what Ashley is saying, 157 00:08:40,840 --> 00:08:43,800 Speaker 1: take some risks right now, like if you're young and 158 00:08:43,920 --> 00:08:46,079 Speaker 1: you guys are you know, don't have the massive like 159 00:08:46,559 --> 00:08:49,599 Speaker 1: financial responsibilities of a family, or you're not you know, 160 00:08:49,920 --> 00:08:53,080 Speaker 1: buying a home or whatever that is, take some risks, 161 00:08:53,280 --> 00:08:58,560 Speaker 1: like take some jobs that feel exciting but yet maybe 162 00:08:58,600 --> 00:09:01,280 Speaker 1: a little uncomfortable, and say yes to them. And if 163 00:09:01,280 --> 00:09:03,440 Speaker 1: you don't like them, we're in a day in and age. 164 00:09:03,720 --> 00:09:06,520 Speaker 1: Even though you know, I think maybe the generation above 165 00:09:06,600 --> 00:09:10,240 Speaker 1: us doesn't understand it. Our generation is really good at 166 00:09:10,320 --> 00:09:12,400 Speaker 1: kind of moving from job to job to job to 167 00:09:12,600 --> 00:09:15,040 Speaker 1: job until they figure out the one that fits. And 168 00:09:15,160 --> 00:09:16,760 Speaker 1: once you do, maybe there's you know, you get a 169 00:09:16,800 --> 00:09:18,960 Speaker 1: whole nuisance of loyalty and there's a whole new excitement 170 00:09:18,960 --> 00:09:20,360 Speaker 1: around it because you're a part of a team, and 171 00:09:20,400 --> 00:09:21,959 Speaker 1: you're part of a brand and you're trying to grow 172 00:09:22,040 --> 00:09:26,040 Speaker 1: this thing. But I would say, actually spot on in 173 00:09:26,120 --> 00:09:30,000 Speaker 1: my opinion, is free yourself up to take some risks 174 00:09:30,200 --> 00:09:33,760 Speaker 1: and know, you know, I've had seven companies that I've 175 00:09:33,800 --> 00:09:36,040 Speaker 1: started that have all failed at this point in my life. 176 00:09:36,600 --> 00:09:39,160 Speaker 1: Like I love that you say that we've succeeded a 177 00:09:39,240 --> 00:09:42,840 Speaker 1: lot of multiple like things. That's great. I've also failed 178 00:09:43,080 --> 00:09:46,040 Speaker 1: a lot of things or fallen short and I've learned 179 00:09:46,080 --> 00:09:48,720 Speaker 1: from them. I'm not mad about them. I got better 180 00:09:48,840 --> 00:09:51,640 Speaker 1: for the next time or around. But I've had seven 181 00:09:51,760 --> 00:09:53,800 Speaker 1: businesses that I've had to open up or shut down, 182 00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:55,800 Speaker 1: or that I've worked for and that have shut down. 183 00:09:56,440 --> 00:09:58,520 Speaker 1: It's just a part. But they they've all made me 184 00:09:58,640 --> 00:10:00,839 Speaker 1: better in the end. And yes, the time, it hurts. 185 00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:03,599 Speaker 1: Sometimes it feels like the world's fallen down around you. 186 00:10:04,280 --> 00:10:07,720 Speaker 1: But once you know, the smoke settles, the dust clears, 187 00:10:08,960 --> 00:10:10,680 Speaker 1: there's a whole new perspective that you can take into 188 00:10:10,760 --> 00:10:12,280 Speaker 1: whatever career you choose next. 189 00:10:13,240 --> 00:10:15,160 Speaker 2: Going off of what Ben said, you can look at 190 00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:18,560 Speaker 2: how many times the Kardashians have had shows or ideas 191 00:10:18,640 --> 00:10:21,959 Speaker 2: and businesses that all of a sudden they're just not there. Anymore. 192 00:10:22,280 --> 00:10:24,679 Speaker 2: But they're billionaires and we would never think of them 193 00:10:24,760 --> 00:10:27,440 Speaker 2: as failures. So seriously look it up and then also 194 00:10:27,600 --> 00:10:31,040 Speaker 2: like draw this on your arm or something. It's cliche, 195 00:10:31,240 --> 00:10:34,120 Speaker 2: but the magic does happen outside of your comfort zone. 196 00:10:35,360 --> 00:10:49,240 Speaker 1: Hey, let's go. Heidi writes In says she's been a 197 00:10:49,320 --> 00:10:52,440 Speaker 1: listener since day one. We feel like bff. I agree, Heidi. 198 00:10:52,520 --> 00:10:55,160 Speaker 1: I don't know you, but any listener of ours is 199 00:10:55,160 --> 00:10:58,440 Speaker 1: a friend of mine. So here's the deal. I've been 200 00:10:58,480 --> 00:11:00,559 Speaker 1: married to my wonderful husband from five years. When I 201 00:11:00,679 --> 00:11:02,880 Speaker 1: met him and he was a very single guy on 202 00:11:02,960 --> 00:11:05,920 Speaker 1: the lookout for love. He was hot, tall, handsome, clean 203 00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:09,400 Speaker 1: shaven or sometimes a little scruff and short haired. From 204 00:11:09,400 --> 00:11:11,640 Speaker 1: the wedding day on, he stopped cutting his hair. It's 205 00:11:11,679 --> 00:11:15,760 Speaker 1: long and unkemped, it has a single and has an 206 00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:19,319 Speaker 1: accidental dreadlock in it. It's somewhere that looks like a 207 00:11:19,600 --> 00:11:22,400 Speaker 1: kitty cat poop. So she's saying his hair is a mess. 208 00:11:23,120 --> 00:11:25,960 Speaker 1: At the same time, about five months after getting married, 209 00:11:26,160 --> 00:11:30,120 Speaker 1: he stopped shaving. He's not shaved since. This has resulted 210 00:11:30,120 --> 00:11:32,280 Speaker 1: in my husband looking like Forrest Gump when he ran 211 00:11:32,360 --> 00:11:36,120 Speaker 1: across country for a three years or a hardcore motorcycle 212 00:11:36,160 --> 00:11:40,079 Speaker 1: gang member or an ultimate hippie yogi. Our first two 213 00:11:40,120 --> 00:11:42,720 Speaker 1: years of marriage, I tried everything to get him to shave. 214 00:11:43,160 --> 00:11:45,319 Speaker 1: He kept telling me that he would shave it when 215 00:11:45,360 --> 00:11:48,480 Speaker 1: he felt like it, and I needed to calm down. 216 00:11:48,600 --> 00:11:51,520 Speaker 1: It's just hair, and that has never had a beard 217 00:11:52,040 --> 00:11:55,520 Speaker 1: longer than two years. He would tell me that it 218 00:11:55,679 --> 00:12:00,240 Speaker 1: hurt his feelings, that I repeatedly expressed this to him him, 219 00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:04,360 Speaker 1: and that I changed my look, and that I could 220 00:12:04,440 --> 00:12:06,439 Speaker 1: change my look if I loved it, he would have 221 00:12:06,520 --> 00:12:09,160 Speaker 1: no problem with it. After a few years, I learned 222 00:12:09,200 --> 00:12:12,800 Speaker 1: that telling him I hated it was doing nothing but 223 00:12:12,920 --> 00:12:16,200 Speaker 1: causing tension our relationship. But we're at five years now, people. 224 00:12:16,720 --> 00:12:18,719 Speaker 1: Even though I have expressed anything to him for a 225 00:12:18,760 --> 00:12:22,079 Speaker 1: long time, this still makes me sad because this hairy 226 00:12:22,679 --> 00:12:26,880 Speaker 1: stylistic choice hides this beautiful face, makes him look about 227 00:12:26,880 --> 00:12:29,920 Speaker 1: ten years older. I don't feel physically attracted to him 228 00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:33,880 Speaker 1: like I did. He just doesn't seem to care. What 229 00:12:34,640 --> 00:12:36,760 Speaker 1: do I do to get him to get rid of 230 00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:40,040 Speaker 1: this monstrosity on his own? Thanks guys so much. 231 00:12:40,600 --> 00:12:43,360 Speaker 2: Oh man, I feel like this is like I feel 232 00:12:43,360 --> 00:12:45,640 Speaker 2: like Dean and Kayln need to talk about this. Because 233 00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:47,079 Speaker 2: I feel like this is something Dean would do. 234 00:12:49,360 --> 00:12:53,240 Speaker 1: You know, I have the answer. I think, Okay, go 235 00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:58,040 Speaker 1: for it. She wrote it in a sentence. I think 236 00:12:58,120 --> 00:13:05,160 Speaker 1: she tells him the compliments. You're very handsome, and I 237 00:13:05,280 --> 00:13:08,880 Speaker 1: miss seeing your handsome face. This beard covers up your 238 00:13:08,920 --> 00:13:11,560 Speaker 1: handsome face. And I would love to see the face 239 00:13:11,600 --> 00:13:13,920 Speaker 1: of the man that I married because it is so handsome, 240 00:13:14,480 --> 00:13:19,959 Speaker 1: and you are like so hot, you are tall, and 241 00:13:20,360 --> 00:13:23,000 Speaker 1: you are in good shape and all these things. She 242 00:13:23,200 --> 00:13:28,880 Speaker 1: has to continue to emphasize the compliments, give him the compliments, 243 00:13:29,440 --> 00:13:33,920 Speaker 1: and then at some point she is his wife and 244 00:13:34,120 --> 00:13:39,079 Speaker 1: he does need to respect how she feels about him. Now, 245 00:13:39,440 --> 00:13:44,240 Speaker 1: there's so many other things here, but as a husband, 246 00:13:45,280 --> 00:13:47,120 Speaker 1: if Jessica says, you know what I'd really like you 247 00:13:47,200 --> 00:13:50,520 Speaker 1: to do, I'd really like you to shave that mustache 248 00:13:51,160 --> 00:13:53,920 Speaker 1: because it gets long and it's not your best look, 249 00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:56,480 Speaker 1: I do get a little anger. I'm like, what are 250 00:13:56,480 --> 00:13:59,360 Speaker 1: you talking about? I always look good. And then I 251 00:13:59,480 --> 00:14:01,280 Speaker 1: have to remember or she is my wife, and she 252 00:14:01,520 --> 00:14:04,120 Speaker 1: is the one that has to wake up next to me, 253 00:14:04,200 --> 00:14:05,520 Speaker 1: that has to go to bed next to me, that 254 00:14:05,640 --> 00:14:08,040 Speaker 1: has to live with me, that has to be attracted 255 00:14:08,080 --> 00:14:10,719 Speaker 1: to me, that hopefully one day has kids with me, 256 00:14:11,280 --> 00:14:15,599 Speaker 1: and I want to look my best for her. So 257 00:14:16,559 --> 00:14:18,880 Speaker 1: the question I would have that I can't answer here 258 00:14:19,560 --> 00:14:21,760 Speaker 1: is why does he care so little about what his 259 00:14:21,920 --> 00:14:23,280 Speaker 1: wife thinks of him? Yeah? 260 00:14:23,360 --> 00:14:26,280 Speaker 2: I think this is his issue. This is on him. 261 00:14:26,480 --> 00:14:29,280 Speaker 2: I feel like she probably is saying I miss your 262 00:14:29,320 --> 00:14:32,760 Speaker 2: handsome face. I think she probably is being or at 263 00:14:32,840 --> 00:14:36,080 Speaker 2: least at some point, maybe not five years in, but 264 00:14:36,760 --> 00:14:39,360 Speaker 2: like she said, two years in, maybe was still being 265 00:14:39,560 --> 00:14:43,320 Speaker 2: sort of kind about it. We need to know what's 266 00:14:43,360 --> 00:14:46,680 Speaker 2: going on in his head. Yeah, it's almost he doesn't 267 00:14:46,720 --> 00:14:50,000 Speaker 2: want to be attractive. I mean, he's hiding behind it. 268 00:14:50,680 --> 00:14:54,600 Speaker 1: We talk about betterhelp, you know. I do think that 269 00:14:54,760 --> 00:14:58,479 Speaker 1: therapy here, couple's therapy is really helpful in these situations 270 00:14:58,880 --> 00:15:02,440 Speaker 1: because the the right answer is very clear. He should 271 00:15:02,520 --> 00:15:05,880 Speaker 1: be as long as she's not nagging, as long as 272 00:15:05,960 --> 00:15:07,920 Speaker 1: she's not all up in his business all the time, 273 00:15:08,120 --> 00:15:10,240 Speaker 1: always telling him what he's doing wrong, Like we don't 274 00:15:10,280 --> 00:15:12,320 Speaker 1: know that side of this relationship. But as long as 275 00:15:12,400 --> 00:15:14,800 Speaker 1: she's just saying, hey, buddy, like it would be great 276 00:15:14,840 --> 00:15:16,720 Speaker 1: if you cut your hair, like I find you so 277 00:15:16,800 --> 00:15:18,600 Speaker 1: attractive and you cut hear like, if if this very 278 00:15:18,680 --> 00:15:21,520 Speaker 1: normal request right in a relationship, and this isn't like 279 00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:25,120 Speaker 1: an ongoing just like goodness, gracious, you always are pointing 280 00:15:25,120 --> 00:15:28,560 Speaker 1: out something wrong with me U. Then there is the 281 00:15:28,640 --> 00:15:33,720 Speaker 1: couple's therapy can help be that buffer to communicate some 282 00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:36,640 Speaker 1: of these tough issues, because yes, it is something like 283 00:15:36,840 --> 00:15:38,640 Speaker 1: it is a problem for him, like it sounds like 284 00:15:38,760 --> 00:15:41,840 Speaker 1: something he needs to get over because he needs to 285 00:15:42,200 --> 00:15:45,160 Speaker 1: all like he needs to be more aware of his 286 00:15:45,360 --> 00:15:48,120 Speaker 1: wife's request, because that's important in a marriage. 287 00:15:48,720 --> 00:15:51,240 Speaker 2: Do you remember if when we had Matt james On 288 00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:55,120 Speaker 2: and I was talking about his beard and how nobody 289 00:15:55,320 --> 00:15:57,080 Speaker 2: liked his beard and he and I said, it was 290 00:15:57,120 --> 00:15:59,160 Speaker 2: almost as if you were trying to like cover it 291 00:15:59,320 --> 00:16:01,120 Speaker 2: was like a security blanket, like you were trying to 292 00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:03,960 Speaker 2: cover up something. And he said, that is one percent 293 00:16:04,040 --> 00:16:04,640 Speaker 2: what was going on. 294 00:16:05,280 --> 00:16:07,520 Speaker 1: Yeah, so I think there's just a deeper issue here. 295 00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:10,080 Speaker 1: And so the advice I think to give you is 296 00:16:10,240 --> 00:16:12,760 Speaker 1: to know that the right answer is that he should 297 00:16:12,760 --> 00:16:14,880 Speaker 1: be willing to hear you out and try to make 298 00:16:14,920 --> 00:16:18,840 Speaker 1: the changes as long again, I just want to emphasize, 299 00:16:18,920 --> 00:16:20,640 Speaker 1: as long as this isn't a constant thing in your 300 00:16:20,640 --> 00:16:23,640 Speaker 1: relationship where you're always pointing out the negative in him, Yeah, 301 00:16:23,760 --> 00:16:25,240 Speaker 1: then he should be willing to listen to this. 302 00:16:25,920 --> 00:16:29,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, because he could if there is something else going on, 303 00:16:30,560 --> 00:16:32,880 Speaker 2: he could be doing it out of resentment, where it's like, oh, 304 00:16:32,920 --> 00:16:35,640 Speaker 2: well she keeps doing that, then I'm going to keep 305 00:16:35,920 --> 00:16:37,800 Speaker 2: looking like this because I don't even want her to 306 00:16:37,880 --> 00:16:38,360 Speaker 2: be close to. 307 00:16:38,440 --> 00:16:40,800 Speaker 1: Me, exactly exactly. 308 00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:43,360 Speaker 2: It's weird that it happened right after they got married. 309 00:16:43,840 --> 00:16:45,280 Speaker 2: It was like he's like, okay, I'm ready to go 310 00:16:45,400 --> 00:16:45,960 Speaker 2: in the hole now. 311 00:16:46,760 --> 00:16:49,600 Speaker 1: Yeah. It is very weird, and I just don't love that, 312 00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:54,320 Speaker 1: because you know, marriage has its difficulties no matter what. 313 00:16:55,040 --> 00:16:56,680 Speaker 1: But one of the things that is easiest to do 314 00:16:56,880 --> 00:17:00,600 Speaker 1: in control is, like, you know, trying to stay attractive 315 00:17:01,080 --> 00:17:03,320 Speaker 1: for your partner the best you can. Like, they married 316 00:17:03,360 --> 00:17:06,240 Speaker 1: you because for a reason, they obviously were attracted to 317 00:17:06,240 --> 00:17:08,560 Speaker 1: you enough to say, hey, I could wake up next 318 00:17:08,600 --> 00:17:11,840 Speaker 1: to you every morning and that would be fun for me. 319 00:17:12,480 --> 00:17:14,600 Speaker 1: And so trying to stay attractive for your partner is 320 00:17:14,680 --> 00:17:19,639 Speaker 1: something that is typically, as long as health allows, fairly 321 00:17:19,760 --> 00:17:21,040 Speaker 1: easy to control. 322 00:17:22,160 --> 00:17:24,639 Speaker 2: And with Ben saying that I'm about to go downstairs 323 00:17:24,680 --> 00:17:30,560 Speaker 2: looking like this to Jared audience. 324 00:17:29,520 --> 00:17:42,560 Speaker 1: That's great. All right, final question of the day. Hi've 325 00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:44,560 Speaker 1: been and ash after hearing the first episode of your 326 00:17:44,640 --> 00:17:48,520 Speaker 1: advice segment, I know I needed to write in so good, 327 00:17:48,760 --> 00:17:52,040 Speaker 1: thank you. My question is about going through my boyfriend's phone. 328 00:17:52,600 --> 00:17:54,840 Speaker 1: I know it's technically wrong to go through his phone 329 00:17:54,880 --> 00:17:57,040 Speaker 1: without him knowing, but it's still the beginning stage of 330 00:17:57,080 --> 00:18:00,560 Speaker 1: our relationship and I don't fully trust him. 331 00:18:00,800 --> 00:18:02,000 Speaker 2: Okay, there's your answer. 332 00:18:02,600 --> 00:18:06,240 Speaker 1: I also saw something while going through it in the past, 333 00:18:06,280 --> 00:18:08,480 Speaker 1: where he was texting his friend about a girl looking 334 00:18:08,560 --> 00:18:10,919 Speaker 1: hot on Instagram? Should I bring that up to him? 335 00:18:11,520 --> 00:18:14,600 Speaker 1: I feel kind of justified going through going through his 336 00:18:14,800 --> 00:18:17,960 Speaker 1: phone because I actually found something. What should I do 337 00:18:18,600 --> 00:18:21,240 Speaker 1: instead of going through his film? Because I don't really 338 00:18:21,320 --> 00:18:22,040 Speaker 1: trust him yet. 339 00:18:23,560 --> 00:18:28,040 Speaker 2: I think you're like answering your own question. You don't 340 00:18:28,200 --> 00:18:31,800 Speaker 2: really trust him, so, like, I don't know what the 341 00:18:31,880 --> 00:18:35,680 Speaker 2: longevity of this relationship is going to be. Why don't 342 00:18:35,760 --> 00:18:39,680 Speaker 2: you fully trust him? Has he shown signs besides I 343 00:18:39,760 --> 00:18:43,720 Speaker 2: mean texting his friend about a girl looking on Instagram? Yeah, 344 00:18:43,800 --> 00:18:44,760 Speaker 2: you don't want to see that. 345 00:18:45,119 --> 00:18:48,320 Speaker 1: But actually, let's pause there. I don't want to assume, 346 00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:51,520 Speaker 1: but I'm guessing like Jared's on a text out of 347 00:18:51,600 --> 00:18:55,359 Speaker 1: his buddies when like one of his friends sends a 348 00:18:55,400 --> 00:18:58,439 Speaker 1: picture of a girl and it is like, goodness, look 349 00:18:58,440 --> 00:19:01,400 Speaker 1: at her. She's looking so good, she's so she's so hot. 350 00:19:01,800 --> 00:19:04,440 Speaker 2: Last season, I had like a Joe Burrow text message 351 00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:07,040 Speaker 2: group with our producer Hannah in it, and we just 352 00:19:07,119 --> 00:19:09,840 Speaker 2: send each other tiktoks like thirst traps of Joe Burrow. 353 00:19:09,960 --> 00:19:12,320 Speaker 2: So obviously, like it's not a big deal. 354 00:19:13,440 --> 00:19:15,520 Speaker 1: Yeah, Like it's not like you were like, oh my gosh, 355 00:19:15,560 --> 00:19:17,159 Speaker 1: I'm gonna leave Jared for Joe Burrow. 356 00:19:17,400 --> 00:19:17,600 Speaker 2: Yeah. 357 00:19:18,040 --> 00:19:20,440 Speaker 1: Yeah, you're just like Joe Burd's a very attractive man. Like, 358 00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:23,640 Speaker 1: it's not uncommon for men and women to text about 359 00:19:24,480 --> 00:19:27,720 Speaker 1: the attractiveness of somebody else out there, especially if you 360 00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:32,280 Speaker 1: still have friends that are single. Yeah, yeah, like you 361 00:19:32,640 --> 00:19:34,280 Speaker 1: aren't going to be the guy's like, sorry, don't send 362 00:19:34,320 --> 00:19:36,359 Speaker 1: me the picture of the beautiful girl from Instagram because 363 00:19:36,760 --> 00:19:39,920 Speaker 1: I'm married, Like I would love if that world, Like, 364 00:19:40,560 --> 00:19:42,480 Speaker 1: but like you can't be that guy, you can't be 365 00:19:42,600 --> 00:19:44,160 Speaker 1: that girl. Yeah. 366 00:19:44,280 --> 00:19:46,560 Speaker 2: It's usually in group messages too, where it's like a 367 00:19:46,960 --> 00:19:49,040 Speaker 2: friend being like hey, I'm why I'm I'm like talking 368 00:19:49,119 --> 00:19:50,680 Speaker 2: to this person. Then you can be like oh yeah 369 00:19:50,720 --> 00:19:54,040 Speaker 2: he's hot, sure, and like that's it. 370 00:19:54,280 --> 00:19:56,760 Speaker 1: Like there's there's nobody else in the world I want 371 00:19:56,840 --> 00:19:58,840 Speaker 1: to be with other than my wife. Like I am 372 00:19:58,960 --> 00:20:02,159 Speaker 1: so committed and so excited and so happy. But it 373 00:20:02,280 --> 00:20:04,160 Speaker 1: doesn't mean that all of a sudden, I'm like, yep, 374 00:20:04,440 --> 00:20:07,800 Speaker 1: never seen another beautiful girl in my life. Like no, 375 00:20:08,480 --> 00:20:10,640 Speaker 1: like never found a girl and be like, hey she's 376 00:20:10,760 --> 00:20:16,160 Speaker 1: really pretty or hey she's really attractive like that. It's 377 00:20:16,200 --> 00:20:18,520 Speaker 1: just your mindset changes where you're like, yeah, but like 378 00:20:19,080 --> 00:20:21,719 Speaker 1: I'm not like going to doctor or pursue her. 379 00:20:23,680 --> 00:20:26,320 Speaker 2: Yeah, so what do you think about what do you 380 00:20:26,359 --> 00:20:28,760 Speaker 2: think that she doesn't trust him for that reason or 381 00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:33,160 Speaker 2: there's more to it? Sounds like there's more to it, yeah. 382 00:20:33,080 --> 00:20:35,160 Speaker 1: Because if it's just a text with his buddy about 383 00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:37,320 Speaker 1: a girl that's attracted, what I'm saying is like, hey, 384 00:20:37,359 --> 00:20:39,600 Speaker 1: if that's the red flag that you're seeing, would I 385 00:20:39,640 --> 00:20:42,080 Speaker 1: would say, yeah, you know what, it matters the context 386 00:20:42,640 --> 00:20:44,680 Speaker 1: and what kind of conversation they're having. But if he's 387 00:20:44,720 --> 00:20:47,760 Speaker 1: showing loyalty to you, like if he's pursuing you, if 388 00:20:47,840 --> 00:20:49,960 Speaker 1: he is making sure that you know how special you 389 00:20:50,119 --> 00:20:53,200 Speaker 1: are to him, if he's giving you all of that, 390 00:20:54,040 --> 00:20:58,320 Speaker 1: then lean into that. I do think though there's an 391 00:20:58,320 --> 00:21:01,240 Speaker 1: opportunity for a conversation here where you simply go to 392 00:21:01,359 --> 00:21:03,640 Speaker 1: him and say, hey, I've been in my own head 393 00:21:04,160 --> 00:21:08,959 Speaker 1: and you know what I have like wanted. I've been 394 00:21:09,080 --> 00:21:11,960 Speaker 1: so curious about, like what's in your phone? And the 395 00:21:12,080 --> 00:21:15,200 Speaker 1: reason is because I know that you were texting about 396 00:21:15,240 --> 00:21:18,680 Speaker 1: this girl and I have some insecurities about it. I'm 397 00:21:18,720 --> 00:21:21,600 Speaker 1: not mad at you for it. I understand that, like 398 00:21:21,720 --> 00:21:24,159 Speaker 1: that's the thing that guys do sometimes with their friends, 399 00:21:24,880 --> 00:21:28,760 Speaker 1: but it brought up insecurities in me. And if we're 400 00:21:28,760 --> 00:21:30,720 Speaker 1: going to continue this, and I want to continue this, 401 00:21:31,119 --> 00:21:33,920 Speaker 1: I don't want to have these insecurities. And so let's 402 00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:37,040 Speaker 1: have that like define the relationship they used to call 403 00:21:37,119 --> 00:21:39,240 Speaker 1: it back in the Little Church dase, but like, let's 404 00:21:39,440 --> 00:21:41,800 Speaker 1: let's redefine like where we're at, Like what are you 405 00:21:41,840 --> 00:21:43,800 Speaker 1: thinking towards me? Do you want to be with me? 406 00:21:43,920 --> 00:21:45,480 Speaker 1: If you don't, this is an easy time to have 407 00:21:45,560 --> 00:21:47,080 Speaker 1: an out. If you do want to be with me, 408 00:21:47,359 --> 00:21:49,240 Speaker 1: what steps could we take so that like I do 409 00:21:49,480 --> 00:21:52,480 Speaker 1: trust you more and that you I am more confident 410 00:21:52,520 --> 00:21:53,680 Speaker 1: in us because I don't want to be in my 411 00:21:53,760 --> 00:21:55,440 Speaker 1: head all the time. And this isn't just because of 412 00:21:55,520 --> 00:21:57,680 Speaker 1: what you did, It's also because of what's going on 413 00:21:57,800 --> 00:21:58,320 Speaker 1: in my head. 414 00:21:58,720 --> 00:22:02,240 Speaker 2: Fantastic advice, man, Fantastic advice. When it comes to going 415 00:22:02,280 --> 00:22:05,040 Speaker 2: through phones, though, you could also just simply say, like, 416 00:22:06,040 --> 00:22:09,000 Speaker 2: you're probably not there in this relationship, but like you 417 00:22:09,080 --> 00:22:10,639 Speaker 2: can be like, hey, can I have your phone for 418 00:22:10,680 --> 00:22:12,200 Speaker 2: a second. There's that picture that you took a couple 419 00:22:12,200 --> 00:22:13,600 Speaker 2: of weeks ago. I want to grab. 420 00:22:13,960 --> 00:22:17,000 Speaker 1: No, you gotta be honest, you gotta be honest. You 421 00:22:17,080 --> 00:22:17,600 Speaker 1: can't do that. 422 00:22:17,880 --> 00:22:20,760 Speaker 2: You can't because all I'm saying is that, like Jared 423 00:22:20,800 --> 00:22:22,800 Speaker 2: and I have never been like, we've never been with 424 00:22:23,040 --> 00:22:24,480 Speaker 2: our phones. It's like here, it is, here, it is, 425 00:22:24,640 --> 00:22:27,240 Speaker 2: so it's kind of like not I'm not even asking 426 00:22:27,400 --> 00:22:30,080 Speaker 2: her to do it for the sake of going through it. 427 00:22:30,240 --> 00:22:32,200 Speaker 2: I just want to see how easily he gives over 428 00:22:32,320 --> 00:22:35,120 Speaker 2: his phone, because if he gives it over easily, then 429 00:22:35,280 --> 00:22:36,400 Speaker 2: like there's nothing on there. 430 00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:38,840 Speaker 1: But that feels like a test, and I just don't 431 00:22:38,920 --> 00:22:43,760 Speaker 1: love tests and relationships. And you're I mean, we also 432 00:22:43,800 --> 00:22:46,879 Speaker 1: have to take in consideration here, Actually you are married. 433 00:22:47,320 --> 00:22:49,359 Speaker 1: Jessica can have my phone whenever she wants it and 434 00:22:49,560 --> 00:22:52,719 Speaker 1: leave with it for the day. Yeah, but we're married. 435 00:22:53,440 --> 00:22:54,800 Speaker 2: It is totally different. Huh. 436 00:22:55,359 --> 00:22:57,960 Speaker 1: If you're just dating. You got to tread very lightly. 437 00:22:58,480 --> 00:23:02,000 Speaker 1: There is not and there's not the commitment yet, Like 438 00:23:02,200 --> 00:23:05,239 Speaker 1: you are boyfriend girlfriend. You know, if he stepped out, 439 00:23:05,320 --> 00:23:08,200 Speaker 1: it would still be considered cheating. But you have not 440 00:23:08,359 --> 00:23:10,440 Speaker 1: made that covenant. So you just haven't made that commitment 441 00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:13,080 Speaker 1: to each other to be together, to be loyal to 442 00:23:13,200 --> 00:23:16,680 Speaker 1: one another, and to stay together for the rest of 443 00:23:16,720 --> 00:23:18,760 Speaker 1: your lives. And so at this point there is still 444 00:23:18,800 --> 00:23:22,440 Speaker 1: a lot of like gray ay in this and from 445 00:23:22,560 --> 00:23:24,600 Speaker 1: the question she wrote us, we don't know that he's 446 00:23:24,600 --> 00:23:27,120 Speaker 1: stepping out in her on her In fact, I would 447 00:23:27,119 --> 00:23:30,080 Speaker 1: assume he's not everything I ready or I'm like, yeah, 448 00:23:30,119 --> 00:23:32,600 Speaker 1: I could see it, like is it cool? And you know, 449 00:23:33,920 --> 00:23:36,359 Speaker 1: is it healthy to you know, no, it's not healthy 450 00:23:36,440 --> 00:23:39,000 Speaker 1: to be looking at other women when you're in a relationship, 451 00:23:39,480 --> 00:23:43,000 Speaker 1: But like, you know, what is the context, what is 452 00:23:43,080 --> 00:23:46,760 Speaker 1: actually going on? And so the advice here Emily to 453 00:23:46,880 --> 00:23:50,680 Speaker 1: you would be try to have a conversation with him 454 00:23:51,200 --> 00:23:54,320 Speaker 1: that is honest from start to finish, because here's the 455 00:23:54,400 --> 00:23:56,760 Speaker 1: other truth. If it doesn't go well and he gets 456 00:23:56,800 --> 00:23:59,160 Speaker 1: really mad at you for this, especially if you give 457 00:23:59,200 --> 00:24:02,360 Speaker 1: him the respect, he ain't your guy anyways, You're lucky 458 00:24:02,400 --> 00:24:03,920 Speaker 1: to get out of that thing. Get out of there, 459 00:24:04,040 --> 00:24:07,360 Speaker 1: go find somebody else. But if he hears you out, 460 00:24:07,560 --> 00:24:09,399 Speaker 1: especially when you approach it with hey, I've had my 461 00:24:09,440 --> 00:24:12,359 Speaker 1: own insecurities about this. It's been in my head. I 462 00:24:12,520 --> 00:24:15,080 Speaker 1: feel like I'm going crazy. I've been thinking about this 463 00:24:15,160 --> 00:24:17,400 Speaker 1: all the time. Every time you're texting on your phone, 464 00:24:17,440 --> 00:24:19,520 Speaker 1: I'm watching you do it, wondering what you're texting about. 465 00:24:20,280 --> 00:24:23,040 Speaker 1: If you just like give him that, he's going to understand, 466 00:24:23,200 --> 00:24:26,560 Speaker 1: because truth is, all of us humans were a little 467 00:24:26,560 --> 00:24:28,840 Speaker 1: weird and we have our issues. And he'll be like, 468 00:24:28,920 --> 00:24:32,760 Speaker 1: I get it, honey, here's the deal. Like, I care 469 00:24:32,800 --> 00:24:35,159 Speaker 1: about you. I only want to be with you, and 470 00:24:35,240 --> 00:24:37,720 Speaker 1: then it will bring a peace. But try to have 471 00:24:37,800 --> 00:24:40,639 Speaker 1: that conversation. If he doesn't respond well to it, he 472 00:24:40,680 --> 00:24:41,640 Speaker 1: ain't your guy anyways. 473 00:24:42,280 --> 00:24:45,160 Speaker 2: The keyword in what Benn is saying is blame yourself. 474 00:24:45,840 --> 00:24:48,920 Speaker 2: Be like, I'm being weird and now I'm feeling this. 475 00:24:49,240 --> 00:24:52,960 Speaker 2: It's like, not about him and what he's done. 476 00:24:53,560 --> 00:24:57,240 Speaker 1: Not in this question. There's not a red flag where 477 00:24:57,359 --> 00:25:00,920 Speaker 1: she can be like, you did this and it hurt me, 478 00:25:01,160 --> 00:25:03,000 Speaker 1: and this is on you. No, right here, it's Hey, 479 00:25:03,320 --> 00:25:07,439 Speaker 1: I am feeling a certain way, and as my partner 480 00:25:08,280 --> 00:25:10,840 Speaker 1: for whatever period of time. This is I need you 481 00:25:10,920 --> 00:25:13,280 Speaker 1: to hear me because this has driving me crazy. 482 00:25:14,760 --> 00:25:17,440 Speaker 2: Great advice, Ben, not almost good Great. 483 00:25:18,840 --> 00:25:21,600 Speaker 1: Let's go all right, Hey, Ashley, that's another episode of 484 00:25:21,680 --> 00:25:24,680 Speaker 1: almost good Advice. This is some great questions. Continue to 485 00:25:24,680 --> 00:25:26,800 Speaker 1: write us in. We want to answer as many questions 486 00:25:26,840 --> 00:25:31,680 Speaker 1: as possible, spanning from business to life, through relationships to friendships, 487 00:25:31,760 --> 00:25:33,520 Speaker 1: whatever it is. We just want to talk about it. 488 00:25:34,960 --> 00:25:37,240 Speaker 1: For one reason, it's good to hear from you. The 489 00:25:37,280 --> 00:25:39,520 Speaker 1: second reason, it's going to help people feel less alone. 490 00:25:39,560 --> 00:25:43,439 Speaker 1: And then maybe just maybe we can chat through something 491 00:25:43,560 --> 00:25:45,800 Speaker 1: and get to a place where maybe it's a little 492 00:25:45,840 --> 00:25:47,879 Speaker 1: bit helpful for you. And if it's not great advice, 493 00:25:48,280 --> 00:25:51,040 Speaker 1: it's almost good advice. We can commit to that. So 494 00:25:51,160 --> 00:25:54,000 Speaker 1: until next time, I've been Ben, I've been Ashley. Love 495 00:25:54,080 --> 00:25:58,200 Speaker 1: youa Follow the Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous podcast 496 00:25:58,320 --> 00:26:01,600 Speaker 1: on iHeartRadio or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts.