Speaker 1: This is Suckers.
Speaker 2: I'm Kin Bell, I'm Dean Bell, and I'm Jared han An.
Speaker 1: iHeartRadio podcast. What is going on? Everybody? Welcome to an
Speaker 1: all new episode of Suckers. Unfortunately, if you're tuning in
Speaker 1: to hear the most angelic voice that exists on this planet,
Speaker 1: you're not gonna hear it because Kaitlin is not here
Speaker 1: with us today. But you have two other cute, little
Speaker 1: cherubic voices, Jared and myself. How did you describe cute
Speaker 1: little cherubic? I don't know. I was thinking, like, angelic
Speaker 1: cherubs are like the little fat babies from like Roman
Speaker 1: Gothic paintings back in the you know, a long time ago.
Speaker 1: I very you're very smart. Nope, nope, I guarantee you
Speaker 1: I'm misusing it. I don't even think it's a word.
Speaker 1: I don't even think they probably could talk. So in fact,
Speaker 1: I'm the exact opposite of that. I'm just a bullshit.
Speaker 2: The one that would correct us is not here today.
Speaker 2: She usually corrects us. Put everything's in you know, she
Speaker 2: puts everything in context for us. She's really the backbone
Speaker 2: of this podcast at this point.
Speaker 1: She truly is. She She's funny, because she doesn't. She'll
Speaker 1: correct us without knowing the answer, and so it's like, well,
Speaker 1: are you sure about that?
Speaker 2: You know what I mean if it's coming from Kalen, though,
Speaker 2: I just assume it's correct.
Speaker 1: How are you, Jared? I'm good ready, it's a guy's podcast.
Speaker 1: You know what that means. Oh, we're talking about a
Speaker 1: lot of poop stuff today.
Speaker 2: Obviously I also cracked open and can I wanted to
Speaker 2: make it sound like a beer, but it's.
Speaker 1: A nice that's actually funny. I was gonna maybe drink
Speaker 1: a beer on this podcast, and then I was like,
Speaker 1: it's ten am. That's insane.
Speaker 2: So I just not too And plus you're you have
Speaker 2: a tea time. You don't want to get too drunk.
Speaker 2: Do you drink on the golf course?
Speaker 1: Like half the time I do, not a lot. I'll
Speaker 1: have like two or three beers, four beers, maybe like
Speaker 1: five beers.
Speaker 2: Do you think it affects your game? Like sometimes I
Speaker 2: get nervous of having a drink because I'm like, I'm
Speaker 2: already not good and I don't want to be in
Speaker 2: nimborate and neighbor inebriated to the point where like it's
Speaker 2: affecting my shot. Even if it's only one drink. Like, mentally,
Speaker 2: I just think it messes with me.
Speaker 1: I think for me personally, it makes me better, It
Speaker 1: makes me loose, makes me a little less inhibited. I
Speaker 1: can just swing free and go for it. But then
Speaker 1: there is like a sweet spot between like two and
Speaker 1: four beers is the sweet spot. And then if you
Speaker 1: get like drunk, then you get well for me at least,
Speaker 1: then I get really bad and bad ye have to
Speaker 1: kind of avoid that. But like what a couple drinks,
Speaker 1: I think takes the edge off, which is nice. But yeah,
Speaker 1: I do have a tea time today. I I you know,
Speaker 1: Calen has I think what Caylen really does for this
Speaker 1: podcast really well if she puts into perspective how boring
Speaker 1: our conversations are when she's not here. We're talking about
Speaker 1: football or Tom Cruise or golf, and at the end
Speaker 1: of the day, like I don't really think people care
Speaker 1: enough about it to listen to us talk about it.
Speaker 2: But I think it's interesting when we relate our passions
Speaker 2: back to our relationships, you know, Like so next week, Brady,
Speaker 2: obviously we're gonna talk about Brady for a second. Two
Speaker 2: guys on a podcast, So Brady is the Patriots are
Speaker 2: inducting Tom Brady into the Patriots Hall of Fame. It's
Speaker 2: supposed to be about five years afterwards or something like that.
Speaker 2: They're obviously just nixing that and inducting him next week
Speaker 2: on June twelfth, of course twelve. So I'm going, oh,
Speaker 2: that's great. And then Ashley's gonna come with me, and
Speaker 2: so we're going to be there. So I think that
Speaker 2: is interesting when we talk about like the things that
Speaker 2: we love so much and we relate it back to
Speaker 2: our relationships. Because because of my love for Brady, she
Speaker 2: has become in love with Tom Brady as well. So
Speaker 2: I'm assuming it's similar with you. I guess the thing
Speaker 2: you're in love with most is golf.
Speaker 1: Though he hates golf. She hates golf, and I can't
Speaker 1: blame her for that.
Speaker 2: But she's an athlete. She plays tennis. I'm surprised she hasn't, like,
Speaker 2: really tried to get good at golf.
Speaker 1: She she's got a real affinity for getting good at
Speaker 1: the things that she cares about, and if she doesn't
Speaker 1: care about it, she doesn't care to good at it,
Speaker 1: which is kind of standard for most people. I feel like,
Speaker 1: but she's got a quick learning curve, so she can
Speaker 1: learn something quickly. But golf. The thing that she doesn't
Speaker 1: like about golf is just that it takes a lot
Speaker 1: of time. Like, for instance, I'm like, you work out
Speaker 1: every single day and I don't golf every single day,
Speaker 1: And she's like, yeah, well, my workouts are an hour
Speaker 1: to an hour and a half and golf is four
Speaker 1: hours to five or six hours, depending on how it goes,
Speaker 1: And so she just gets a little frustrated with the
Speaker 1: timing of it all.
Speaker 2: I guess, And there's no way you'd play nine holes,
Speaker 2: oh no, nod, disgusting it. So you'd past that point
Speaker 2: because nine holes. See, I think nine holes to me
Speaker 2: is eighteen to you, So you're a nine hole fan,
Speaker 2: not a fan. I'd rather play eighteen, but I'm fine
Speaker 2: playing nine as well. It's too quick, I would agree,
Speaker 2: But if I was going, if I was, if I
Speaker 2: were you and I was trying to get Kaylin into golf,
Speaker 2: I would suck it up and start playing nine holes,
Speaker 2: because then she's done in an hour and forty five
Speaker 2: two hours. Yeah, and it's like she almost wants to
Speaker 2: play more. You're leaving her wanting more dude eighteen for her,
Speaker 2: she's she's gonna.
Speaker 1: Leave by hole twelve and never come back. We went
Speaker 1: golfing a couple of weeks ago. I think we talked
Speaker 1: about it in the podcast, but by like the third hole,
Speaker 1: she was like, so we're almost done, right, Like, no,
Speaker 1: there's still and we were only playing nine. I was like,
Speaker 1: there's six more holes. It's about it's going to be
Speaker 1: like a nine hour and a half. I think with
Speaker 1: with your kid, with Dawson, if you want to get
Speaker 1: him into golf, or if you're interested in getting him
Speaker 1: in a golf that's definitely the right. If I want
Speaker 1: to get yeah, right, as you should. That's the approach
Speaker 1: I think you should say, is like play even like
Speaker 1: two holes or three holes and then yeah, and then leave.
Speaker 1: And then once he starts appreciating a little bit more,
Speaker 1: then I'll be like, oh my gosh, I can't wait
Speaker 1: to go back and play more holes next time kind
Speaker 1: of thing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's getting to the point now. It's this morning
Speaker 2: we were playing catch. I bought him a little baseball
Speaker 2: glove with a foam ball, so he loves throwing that.
Speaker 2: He loves trying to put the glove on. He still
Speaker 2: doesn't really get the concept of it because he keeps
Speaker 2: he throws with his right, but then he tries to
Speaker 2: put the glove on the right hand as well, and
Speaker 2: I'm like, bro, no, I know it's weird, but you
Speaker 2: catch with your left and you throw with your right.
Speaker 2: So he's getting more of that concept. Like he sees
Speaker 2: me with the glove on, so he wants the glove
Speaker 2: on and that's awesome. So now it's I'm becoming more
Speaker 2: interactive with him. I guess that's why I dude, it
Speaker 2: sounds terrible. I sound like the worst father in the
Speaker 2: world with what I'm about to say it. But I
Speaker 2: guess that's why I'm dreading the second a little bit
Speaker 2: because I'm like, oh, this case is going to be
Speaker 2: a blob for the next three years before I can
Speaker 2: start enjoying his company, which of course is not the case.
Speaker 2: I you know, cuddles are great and little bit I
Speaker 2: was looking at pictures of Dawson from a year and
Speaker 2: year and a half ago and you're like, oh, like,
Speaker 2: I do forget how cute they are. And then especially
Speaker 2: the first couple of months. Dude, that baby probably like
Speaker 2: the first five or six months, that thing like two things.
Speaker 1: One, I'm all over the place.
Speaker 2: Secondly, we still don't have a name, which is why
Speaker 2: I keep legitimately when I keep calling him it or
Speaker 2: just referring to him as him. No idea what the
Speaker 2: name is going to be? Swear still no idea.
Speaker 1: And Dawson, you had the name pre planned, right.
Speaker 2: So Dawson. Ashley has always wanted to name her first
Speaker 2: kid Dawson. I said, I liked it for a boy,
Speaker 2: and so when we found out he was a boy,
Speaker 2: it was Dawson. Done deal this one. We have no plan.
Speaker 2: There was there was a name. I don't even want
Speaker 2: to say it, just in case it is the name.
Speaker 2: But there was a name that Ashley, her entire family
Speaker 2: was down with. It's a family name. And then I
Speaker 2: wasn't so keen on it. And then recently I've changed
Speaker 2: my tune because I don't have a name that I'm
Speaker 2: in love with. So I'm like, I will love our
Speaker 2: son no matter what his name is, and I like
Speaker 2: the name enough, where of course you know we should
Speaker 2: instead of compromising on a name that we're both okay with,
Speaker 2: I'd rather have her love the name and me like it,
Speaker 2: rather than both of us compromising on a name that
Speaker 2: we're both like, yeah, this is good enough. So then
Speaker 2: I was like, cool, I'm down with this name. Let's
Speaker 2: let's move forward with it. And then after I did that,
Speaker 2: Ashley started doing a one eighty and she was like, well,
Speaker 2: now I'm not so sure if I'm sold on that name,
Speaker 2: and I'm like, okay, but you were, and now you're not,
Speaker 2: And so I don't know what the name is going
Speaker 2: to be. Still could be that name. I feel like
Speaker 2: that is the leader in the clubhouse. But now I
Speaker 2: feel weird naming our child that if she's not completely sold,
Speaker 2: because I've already made it know that I'm not completely sold.
Speaker 1: I like the name.
Speaker 2: I don't love the name. I thought she loved it.
Speaker 2: Maybe she doesn't anymore. So I don't know what the
Speaker 2: name is going to be. And then I feel like
Speaker 2: every name I throw out, she's just like eh.
Speaker 1: I feel like you need to at least be receptive
Speaker 1: to ideas, right if you're kind of in the place
Speaker 1: where you don't have one fully like locked in names
Speaker 1: are really hard because I mean, obviously, at the end
Speaker 1: of day, they're going to be called that for the
Speaker 1: rest of their lives, and you're gonna be calling them
Speaker 1: that for the rest of their lives, and like, you know,
Speaker 1: I do think that there is a correlation between your
Speaker 1: name and like the amount of success you can have
Speaker 1: in life at the end of the day. You know,
Speaker 1: like a lot of these crazy unique names that we're
Speaker 1: seeing nowadays. Like I mean, I guess I don't really
Speaker 1: know any off the top of my head, but like
Speaker 1: the crazy names, I'm like, you're not really knowing your
Speaker 1: child of that, honestly, is what first came to mind
Speaker 1: is North. But North isn't that bad. I don't think
Speaker 1: you are kind of putting them in a bind for
Speaker 1: later on, like when they're applying for jobs and everything,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean.
Speaker 2: Yeah, something tells me any of the Kardashian kids won't
Speaker 2: be applying for jobs all that much.
Speaker 1: That's a very good point. That's a very good point. Maddie,
Speaker 1: our producer just texted us in the group chat and
Speaker 1: said that some TikToker just named her child Slim Easy,
Speaker 1: and it's like, what do you. I mean, you know,
Speaker 1: good for you, maybe it's a family name, who knows,
Speaker 1: but like Slim Easy, Yeah, you're just not really doing
Speaker 1: that kid. Very many favors and I don't know. I
Speaker 1: don't know. I'm a big advocate of just like kind
Speaker 1: of keeping it simple. We were I was talking to
Speaker 1: Kaylen about this other day too, because I, you know,
Speaker 1: we've talked about this many times. I have our kids
Speaker 1: names picked out. Kaylen gets to pick the middle name.
Speaker 1: She came up with, like, if we have a girl, Debbie,
Speaker 1: she wants Debbie's middle name to be like Chloe or
Speaker 1: something like that. So Debbie Chloe Bell and it's kind
Speaker 1: of cute. And I was like, but the two e's
Speaker 1: like Debbie and Chloe, And it wasn't Chloe. It was
Speaker 1: something like that. I can't remember what it was exactly,
Speaker 1: but it's like, I just don't know if I like that.
Speaker 1: And she said that's the best part. They both end
Speaker 1: in the same sound. I was like, yeah, I guess
Speaker 1: you're right. And middle names are obviously way less important
Speaker 1: than a first name. But it's a it's a big
Speaker 1: I don't want to call it a burden, but it's
Speaker 1: like definitely a big decision to make, you know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like who they are, Like Dawson is now Dawson.
Speaker 1: He is just Dawson, right, And I'm and I'm already
Speaker 1: imagining Dawson being an older person, and I can already
Speaker 1: see he's gonna be a freaking rico, suave, like coolest
Speaker 1: kid in school because his name is cool.
Speaker 2: You know, his name is cool and he's cool, and
Speaker 2: it's like, damn, bro, Like his name is Dawson, which
Speaker 2: is a cool name, and he came out with blonde
Speaker 2: hair and blue eyes, and he loves sports and he
Speaker 2: looks like he's a big kid. And every time he
Speaker 2: goes to the playground, like it just feels like other
Speaker 2: kids are like kind of just go towards him. I'm like, bro,
Speaker 2: but is he cool because he's cool?
Speaker 1: Or is he cool because his name is Dawson and
Speaker 1: being at Dawson has made him cooler.
Speaker 2: I mean, I don't know what came first, the chicken
Speaker 2: or the egg, you know what I mean? Like, that's
Speaker 2: that's the question. What if we name our what if
Speaker 2: his name was Steve? Nothing wrong with Steve. I like
Speaker 2: Stephen listeners out there, but like Steve, Steve, Steve the Pirate.
Speaker 1: You should do like a social experiment. Your next kid
Speaker 1: should be named something crazy, like like oh gosh, I
Speaker 1: can't think I'm not very creative.
Speaker 2: Like like Needle, Yes, exactly like that in mind.
Speaker 1: I mean, you're more creative than I am. Do something
Speaker 1: really strange and then just like see how they grew
Speaker 1: up to be different just because their names are different.
Speaker 2: Needle, I don't mind that. You ever seen that episode
Speaker 2: of SEINFELERW where Gorge wants to name his kid seven?
Speaker 1: Love it? I love it?
Speaker 2: Oh, great one? And then the other people end up
Speaker 2: stealing it because they're like, we like the name seven,
Speaker 2: And he's like, what about Soda? Like SODA's a terrible name.
Speaker 2: He's like, everybody loves soda. Anyway, we don't talk about Seifelt.
Speaker 2: But yeah, so that's the conundrum right now. Don't really
Speaker 2: have a name for the second kid, but yeah, I
Speaker 2: don't know. I guess we'll figure it out. You know
Speaker 2: what name they did?
Speaker 1: Like that?
Speaker 2: I liked as well, But it can't be that name
Speaker 2: because of my last name.
Speaker 1: Hayden, Hayden hat, Hayden Haven. I like actually a lot,
Speaker 1: I really do like that a lot. You like Hayden Haben. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 2: I can't do that. We liked Hayden because we were
Speaker 2: thinking of Anakin, Anakin Skywalker like that. I'm not going
Speaker 2: to name our kid Anakin and then we're like, oh,
Speaker 2: Hayden Christiansen. I like the name Hayden, and then Asher,
Speaker 2: and then Asher was like Hayden Haben. That can't happen.
Speaker 2: It's like, yeah, that's not happening.
Speaker 1: You could name him like his middle name Adam. So
Speaker 1: it's like ha h a.
Speaker 2: H ha ha or how do you spell huh?
Speaker 1: Like huh is that huh? Yeah?
Speaker 2: So we just need a middle name to start with you. Yeah, yeah, Hayden, Ungler, Haven, Huh.
Speaker 1: How many you names are out there? Not a lot.
Speaker 1: I don't think. Are you gonna wait until the baby
Speaker 1: is born then and then make a decision there?
Speaker 2: No, I mean I'm assuming that we're going to go
Speaker 2: into the hospital with the game plan, but we are
Speaker 2: on the for a golf reference, I feel like we're
Speaker 2: on the seventeenth hole right now. Time is running.
Speaker 1: Out, you know, we're on the seventeenth hole right now.
Speaker 2: I mean it's a par four and I'm hitting five
Speaker 2: right now.
Speaker 1: But your score going in going into now, I'm not
Speaker 1: even on the green bro three under seven over thirteen over.
Speaker 2: Oh dude, if I finish it under one hundred, I'm happy.
Speaker 1: I'm not talking about you specifically. I'm talking about the
Speaker 1: situation with the baby.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's exactly what I'm referring to. If we make
Speaker 2: it for the eighteenth hole under one hundred with this kid,
Speaker 2: I'll be all right, I'll be fine.
Speaker 1: Nice. Anytime you break double digits, that's a good day.
Speaker 1: Anytime you're on the golf course, and in this case,
Speaker 1: anytime you're having a baby, still a great day.
Speaker 2: Still a great day. I was thinking about that because
Speaker 2: we were talking yesterday. One of Ashley's friends was that,
Speaker 2: like everything in terms of trauma or emotion, like you
Speaker 2: can always just go back to your childhood and like
Speaker 2: the relationships that you had with your parents, and I
Speaker 2: don't know, man, being a parent, I think that we
Speaker 2: put it's gonna make me sound like a horrible person,
Speaker 2: way too much emphasis on.
Speaker 1: Like the.
Speaker 2: This gonna sound so weird the child parents relationship. But
Speaker 2: like my point being is that I feel like everybody
Speaker 2: blames like your childhood trauma quote unquote, Like there are
Speaker 2: people who are like, oh my my mom was too
Speaker 2: smothering and too she loved me too much, she never
Speaker 2: let me explore things. But then you know, my dad
Speaker 2: didn't love me enough and he didn't show me enough.
Speaker 2: And it's like, okay, like it did you know, did
Speaker 2: you have a good childhood? Did you grow up with love?
Speaker 2: I think it's just also the time that we live in,
Speaker 2: Like we're not living in wartime. Knock on wood. Obviously,
Speaker 2: what's going on overseas is tragic, but in terms of
Speaker 2: the United States, no one's getting drafted. Because I was
Speaker 2: talking to a guy. I was talking to a guy
Speaker 2: about this, just about parenting. His name is Bobby, comes
Speaker 2: in all the time and he's this sweetest man. He's
Speaker 2: in his eighties, and he got drafted, you know, for
Speaker 2: I can't remember. Had to be Vietnam because I don't
Speaker 2: think there was a draft during the Korean War. I
Speaker 2: can't remember. But dude, I just think, like I don't know.
Speaker 2: I'm like, let's just all calm down. You know, life
Speaker 2: is a gift. We're all doing our best. You know.
Speaker 2: I love Dawson so much I spend I want to
Speaker 2: spend as much time with him as possible and show
Speaker 2: them the way. I just think it's like people act
Speaker 2: as if you know, relationships in life are you know,
Speaker 2: down to a science so to speak, where it's like, oh,
Speaker 2: this is exactly how you should be a parent, This
Speaker 2: is exactly how you should love your kids, This is
Speaker 2: exactly how much time you should spend with your kids,
Speaker 2: and so on and so forth. And it's just like
Speaker 2: complicated and convoluted and stressful because there's so many people
Speaker 2: that are so quickly to judge you whether you're too
Speaker 2: loving or not loving enough, or you smother them too much,
Speaker 2: or you don't show them enough attention, or you know
Speaker 2: they're on their the phone too much, or they're not
Speaker 2: reading enough or I don't know, like you're playing with
Speaker 2: them outside but then they fall and they're like, oh, well,
Speaker 2: why why did you Why were.
Speaker 1: You playing outside with them?
Speaker 2: You shouldn't have been doing that, or like dude, Ashley
Speaker 2: and her mom, this is like three weeks ago. They
Speaker 2: were at the beach with Dawson. It was a hot day,
Speaker 2: but like they had the umbrella up and obviously Dawson
Speaker 2: didn't want to be under he was running around. They
Speaker 2: lathered them up with santane. Loosh, it wasn't that hot.
Speaker 2: It was probably in eighties, you know, the kids almost three.
Speaker 2: And then there was someone who like went up to Ashley.
Speaker 2: It was like I'm just concerned. I think your kid's boiling.
Speaker 2: And it's like, dude, get out of my face. He's
Speaker 2: covered in suntan lotion from head to toe. He's in
Speaker 2: shade half the time. We're going into the water, Like, dude,
Speaker 2: do a kid. But that's what I mean, like these
Speaker 2: freaking people anyway.
Speaker 1: Well, I do agree with kind of what you were
Speaker 1: saying earlier. I feel like a lot of people use
Speaker 1: their upbringing as a crutch to act poorly, like if
Speaker 1: I have, and I'm guilty of this too. Like let's
Speaker 1: say there's a certain characteristic of yourself that people maybe
Speaker 1: don't love or that you don't even like about yourself,
Speaker 1: and a lot of people nowadays are like, oh, well,
Speaker 1: just because like you were saying, like my dad left
Speaker 1: me at a young age, and some things are obviously
Speaker 1: more important than others.
Speaker 2: But like, of course there are very traumatic things. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: I don't have to tell you about it, you know
Speaker 2: what I mean.
Speaker 1: Like an oversmothering mother, Like my mother loved me too
Speaker 1: much when I was a kid, so now I have
Speaker 1: trust issues or something like that. I do think that
Speaker 1: people will do that quite often, and I'm guilty of
Speaker 1: it too. I kind of do this thing where I
Speaker 1: like to make people uncomfortable. So if someone says something,
Speaker 1: I'll be like, oh, yeah, well my mom died when
Speaker 1: I was a kid, so that's why I did that
Speaker 1: or something like that, and everyone is always I kind
Speaker 1: of like doesn't really know how to react. It's kind
Speaker 1: of a funny anecdotal thing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a tough one, A tough one to react
Speaker 2: to that. Yeah, I don't know if I would say
Speaker 2: that one.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's especially interesting too because with today, it's like
Speaker 1: we're so much more informed than we were, you know,
Speaker 1: even thirty when we were kids, when we were twenty
Speaker 1: years ago, thirty years ago, whatever it is, especially even
Speaker 1: before that, and so it's like in a lot of
Speaker 1: good it helps a lot, like with diagnosises of like
Speaker 1: ADHD and autism, all those things that maybe we didn't
Speaker 1: have so much back then. But at the same time too,
Speaker 1: we might be like nearing crux with it where it's
Speaker 1: like we have we're over informed, or like we're overstimulated
Speaker 1: with a lot of these ideas, and so it like
Speaker 1: kind of just needs to like the beach with you.
Speaker 1: For instance, a kid just needs to be a kid,
Speaker 1: right and so maybe you stop like helicoptering other people's
Speaker 1: kids because they're kids. At the end of the day.
Speaker 2: It was just funny because when Ashley came I wasn't there.
Speaker 1: I had to work.
Speaker 2: But when I got home she told me story and
Speaker 2: she was like, Jared, you would have flipped because this
Speaker 2: woman came up and was like, ah, I just I
Speaker 2: don't feel she said to the along the lines of like,
Speaker 2: I don't feel comfortable. I think you know your kid
Speaker 2: is just boiling right now, and they were like, he's fine,
Speaker 2: He's one hundred percent fine, And of course there are
Speaker 2: situations anyway. Point is, we're not a therapist. But it's
Speaker 2: interesting how I try not to let people's opinion bug me,
Speaker 2: and it really doesn't, but it sounds like it does
Speaker 2: because when I'm on the podcast, I don't. I just
Speaker 2: kind of like ramble and let things go that are
Speaker 2: on my mind. And that is on my mind in
Speaker 2: terms of parenting, because it does. There are times where
Speaker 2: I just feel like, you know, I'm never doing a
Speaker 2: good enough job because it just feels like there's always
Speaker 2: more to be done, and I'm hardly the only person
Speaker 2: going through it as a parent. I'm sure that There
Speaker 2: are a lot of people who go through that feeling
Speaker 2: where they just feel as if it's inadequate. You know,
Speaker 2: they're like, am I am I raising you know, the
Speaker 2: person that I want to raise? Am I not doing enough?
Speaker 2: Am I doing too much? Should I, you know, let
Speaker 2: them go off a little bit more? Should I show
Speaker 2: them more love?
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 2: It's just an imperfect science. And like it's tough too,
Speaker 2: because then when you hear like your friends or other
Speaker 2: adults who don't have kids. I think that's another big thing,
Speaker 2: the people that don't have kids who are like you know, oh,
Speaker 2: I just and who are incredible people, you know, with
Speaker 2: great lives and great jobs and doing well from themselves.
Speaker 2: But then you know, they talk about relationships or feelings
Speaker 2: or things like that, and they're always like, well, you
Speaker 2: know when I was a kid, and I'm like, yo,
Speaker 2: your parents were probably you know, I know your parents.
Speaker 2: You have great parents, they're the best, like my I
Speaker 2: don't know, I'm just sounded like an idiot. Now I'm
Speaker 2: just vent you're not your missus therapy to me. I
Speaker 2: don't know if I am.
Speaker 1: I also think part of that too, is like you're
Speaker 1: just a first time parent. Right now, and so like,
Speaker 1: obviously you're going to feel like you're maybe not doing everything,
Speaker 1: but you are at the end of the day, you're
Speaker 1: doing everything that you can be doing. But because it's
Speaker 1: your first time as a parent, it's like you you
Speaker 1: don't know what you're doing because you've never done it before, right,
Speaker 1: And so it's like you're going through it trying to
Speaker 1: do the best job you possibly can. Be a guarant
Speaker 1: you're doing a fantastic job, but it just feels like
Speaker 1: maybe you're not because you have no familiarity with it.
Speaker 1: And so then when when little Hayden Nungler is born,
Speaker 1: and you'll be like, oh, I remember this space when
Speaker 1: Dawson was in this and he was doing that and
Speaker 1: I did this. Maybe at this time, I'll do it
Speaker 1: a little bit differently because I've done it before and
Speaker 1: I know how to react now, you know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, when little Huh is born, Yeah, it's an interesting
Speaker 2: time because right now, I mean our main focus is
Speaker 2: just to make him happy. I mean we're trying to
Speaker 2: teach him life lessons and teaching him how to you know,
Speaker 2: he can't read yet, but he he recognizes words, he
Speaker 2: can count a little bit. I don't know if he
Speaker 2: has any idea what the numbers mean, but I think
Speaker 2: he does because sometimes he'll be pointing at things at
Speaker 2: a book in big one two. Now he's kind of
Speaker 2: all over the place, but I think he's attempted to count.
Speaker 2: And then he repeats everything that we say, which is cool.
Speaker 2: He said he said good night dead that last night,
Speaker 2: like clear as day. He's like, good night dad that.
Speaker 2: I was like, hell, yeah, bro, So, I mean it
Speaker 2: was clear's day he said it. So that was cool.
Speaker 1: How long does a kid sleep in a crib for?
Speaker 2: So we are slowly adjusting him to his Batman bed. Nice,
Speaker 2: he has a Batman bed. It's awesome, like a like
Speaker 2: a batmobile shaped bed. Yes, so, and then it's for
Speaker 2: a twin mattress. And then the twin mattress goes in there. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it's pretty cool. It's from the nineteen eighty nine Batman too,
Speaker 2: so it's Michael Keyan's Batman Mobile, which is the best one.
Speaker 2: But so we're slowly you know, he'll take naps in there.
Speaker 2: He hasn't slept there overnight, but so I guess like
Speaker 2: pretty soon within the next six months, you know, before
Speaker 2: he turns three. I think we want him in that
Speaker 2: bed full time. The only scary part is is like
Speaker 2: the crib he can't get out of, but the bed
Speaker 2: he can get out of, So he has to be
Speaker 2: in a like I don't know. He can open doors too,
Speaker 2: so do we, like, I don't know. That's the scary
Speaker 2: part is that like he'll be able to get out
Speaker 2: of the bed and open the door. And it's like,
Speaker 2: you know, that's scary. But he's I guess, like before three,
Speaker 2: I don't really know. He's starting. He's getting potty trained
Speaker 2: right now, somewhat like we try to show him where
Speaker 2: the toilet is.
Speaker 1: We're trying.
Speaker 2: He's telling us now he's like poopy and he says potty.
Speaker 2: He says poop potty. So now he like he knows that, like,
Speaker 2: oh I have to poop, I have to go on
Speaker 2: the potty. He still his pants, but at least he's
Speaker 2: telling us that he needs to go on the potty.
Speaker 2: It's a step in the right direction. Baby sets here,
Speaker 2: Baby steps.
Speaker 3: Hey friends, I'm Jessica Capshaw and this is Camilla Luddington
Speaker 3: and we have a new podcast, call it What it Is.
Speaker 3: You may know us from Gracelawn Memorial. But did you
Speaker 3: know that we are actually besties in real life.
Speaker 4: And as all besties do, we navigate the highs and
Speaker 4: lows of life together. When one of us sends out
Speaker 4: the distress signal, the other one always answers the call,
Speaker 4: big or small. We are there and what does that
Speaker 4: look like?
Speaker 3: A thousand pep talks a million, I've got yous, some
Speaker 3: very urgent I'm coming.
Speaker 4: Overs laughter through tears, no judgment, problem solving over glasses
Speaker 4: of rose. Sometimes it takes tequila.
Speaker 1: Because I don't know.
Speaker 3: Let's face it, life can get even crazier than a
Speaker 3: season finale of Gray's Anatomy.
Speaker 4: And now here we are opening up the friendship circle
Speaker 4: to you.
Speaker 3: Someone's cheating, We've got you on that. In laws or inlawe.
Speaker 4: Let's get into.
Speaker 3: It, toxic friendship, air it out. We're on your side
Speaker 3: to help you with your concerns, talk about ours, and
Speaker 3: every once in a while bring on an awesome guest
Speaker 3: to get their take on the things that you bring us.
Speaker 4: While we may be a license to advise, we're gonna
Speaker 4: do it anyway.
Speaker 3: Listen to call it what it is. Starting June third,
Speaker 3: on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get
Speaker 3: your podcasts.
Speaker 1: I just pulled up a picture of a Batman bed
Speaker 1: that I found an Amazon, and if it's this, I'm
Speaker 1: very very jealous of that.
Speaker 3: Man.
Speaker 1: I it's remember when I left to cre My sister
Speaker 1: and I shared a room up until I was probably
Speaker 1: like twelve or something like that. And when I left
Speaker 1: a crib for the first time, I had a lot
Speaker 1: of rolling issues, and so I would roll out of
Speaker 1: the bed all the time. So I'd get one of
Speaker 1: those like the barrier walls that you could like attach
Speaker 1: onto it, so I would get into bed, and then
Speaker 1: my mom would come in and like put the barrier
Speaker 1: wall up so that way it was basically like a
Speaker 1: makeshift crib. That way, if I roll over, I wouldn't
Speaker 1: fall out of the bed.
Speaker 2: You know, I'm not worried about him falling out of
Speaker 2: the bed because this thing is kind of the way
Speaker 2: it's put together, like it would stop him from rolling.
Speaker 2: But he can legit just get out of it and
Speaker 2: open the door and his his his room is upstairs.
Speaker 2: Our room is downstairs. That's the biggest concern. Even though
Speaker 2: we have gates at this we have gates at the stairwell.
Speaker 2: I don't know he just gets so smart every single
Speaker 2: day that, like, one day, I'm nervous that we're not
Speaker 2: gonna if he is sleeping in the bed by himself,
Speaker 2: he's gonna be able to get out of the bed,
Speaker 2: open the door, and then somehow open the gate, even
Speaker 2: though he has to like push back down on a button,
Speaker 2: slide it and then the gate opens. So it's child
Speaker 2: proof in that aspect, but it's I don't know, he's
Speaker 2: just fucking he's smart.
Speaker 1: One night you might just like hear tumbling coming from
Speaker 1: upstairs and might not do.
Speaker 2: That would be bad, bad, bad. I fell down the
Speaker 2: stairs once, TI, when I was a kid.
Speaker 1: Kids are tough, man, and obviously you felt if you
Speaker 1: fell down the stairs, you survived.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I know, but I cracked my head wide open,
Speaker 2: so I had to get stitches.
Speaker 1: But I survived. You survived, and obviously you're doing what
Speaker 1: you can to avoid it. If it happens, it happens.
Speaker 1: That's another thing with being a kid. It's like we
Speaker 1: we as adults now and as our parents probably understood
Speaker 1: when we were kids, like if I fell down the stairs,
Speaker 1: I'd probably almost be dead, right right, But like if
Speaker 1: you're four years old and you fall down this flight
Speaker 1: of stairs. Yeah, you might crack your head open, but
Speaker 1: there's not probably any long term lasting effects whereas nowadays.
Speaker 2: Yeah, why is that? Like I feel like I'm not
Speaker 2: as fragile. I feel like I was way more fragile
Speaker 2: as a child than I am now clumsy. Maybe it's
Speaker 2: just like the way our bones are constructed.
Speaker 1: You're probably more clumsy growing a lot, so you're not
Speaker 1: really like used to your the dimensions of your body
Speaker 1: and stuff. And there's yeah, there's these things on the
Speaker 1: ends of our I'm going to get this really wrong,
Speaker 1: but there's these things on the ends of our DNA
Speaker 1: strands called telomeres, And once you hit a certain age
Speaker 1: probably your career, around thirty, your telomere start deteriorating. So
Speaker 1: that's kind of what the aging process is like. Up
Speaker 1: until you're thirty, you're getting smarter and better looking and
Speaker 1: stronger every single day, but then you hit this age
Speaker 1: where your telomeres start degrading, and then you start getting
Speaker 1: a little slower, a little more fragile, a little less strong.
Speaker 1: Like that kind of stuff could be wrong, but that's
Speaker 1: what I'm pretty sure is what I remember hearing at
Speaker 1: one point in my life. So I do think there's
Speaker 1: a lot of like age reversal things where they're trying
Speaker 1: to like focus on the telomeres and be like, Okay,
Speaker 1: maybe we can convince these things that we still are
Speaker 1: twenty years old, and if you hurt yourself or break
Speaker 1: a bone, you're going to recover like you did when
Speaker 1: you were twenty or when you were you know, ten
Speaker 1: or twelve or something like that. But like if you
Speaker 1: go through your childhood without a mer injury, but like
Speaker 1: you know, you fell and cracked your head open. I
Speaker 1: broke a bunch of bones, Like, if you don't have
Speaker 1: that in your childhood, I feel like you didn't have
Speaker 1: a full enough childhood.
Speaker 2: Yeah, every time Dawson like, so, he was at my
Speaker 2: parents house. I had softball this past week. I worked
Speaker 2: when softball, and then Ashley flew out on Sunday. I
Speaker 2: didn't fly out to Tuesday. But point is he was
Speaker 2: at my parents' house and then of course he just
Speaker 2: like was running around the house, fell hit the back
Speaker 2: of his head and started crying. And my parents, my mom,
Speaker 2: I mean, you would have thought that he died from
Speaker 2: her reaction because she just was so sad. I'm like, mom,
Speaker 2: he's fine. He just bumped his head. He's good, Like
Speaker 2: he just that's what he does. He just runs around
Speaker 2: and bumps his head. And I don't want him to
Speaker 2: get hurt. But there's also times where I do want
Speaker 2: him to get hurt because I want him to learn
Speaker 2: those lessons because he is so aggressive and rambunctious, like
Speaker 2: he's very much a boy where it's like he's running around,
Speaker 2: he's just gonna trip one day and fall down and cry.
Speaker 2: But then he'll learn to like slow down and not
Speaker 2: run his hard, or like if he bumped into a desk,
Speaker 2: like now he knows, okay, I can't run into a
Speaker 2: desk now. Granted, I don't want him to seriously hurt himself,
Speaker 2: but like a little like a little bump to be like,
Speaker 2: oh okay, well don't do that again. That's fine, you know,
Speaker 2: I mean, what are you gonna do. He's gonna get hurt.
Speaker 2: We all got hurt. That's like the process of life
Speaker 2: right there, you know, right.
Speaker 1: I remember when I was a kid, I used to
Speaker 1: think about it kind of occasionally because my brothers. One
Speaker 1: brother like chopped a toe off, one burnt himself like
Speaker 1: fell into a fire, dropped a toe off. Yeah, there's
Speaker 1: some weird injuries. My brother like fell into a fire
Speaker 1: when he was a kid. My sister like split her
Speaker 1: head wide open when similar to use split her head
Speaker 1: wide open. I had a couple injuries when I was
Speaker 1: a kid. It's like it's just like a rite of passage.
Speaker 1: You have to have some sort of event. How did
Speaker 1: you How did your brother lose the toe? I think
Speaker 1: he was really young. He's probably around Dawson's age, maybe
Speaker 1: a little bit older, probably probably like five actually, just
Speaker 1: maybe a few years older. I think he was like
Speaker 1: getting into a van that's like one of the sliding
Speaker 1: van doors, and my mom wasn't paying attention. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: the door shut and it chopped one of his toes off.
Speaker 1: Holy shit. But that's kind of the point. They so
Speaker 1: it back on and it's got a normal toe. Now,
Speaker 1: like it wasn't an injury. Well, so the toe is fine,
Speaker 1: it's fine. You would you could look at his speed
Speaker 1: and you would never guess that he had it toe
Speaker 1: chopped off. But you know, you do that at thirty
Speaker 1: three or thirty four, and it's like, oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: I'm just going to live the rest of my life
Speaker 1: without a toe now, I guess I know.
Speaker 2: I was thinking about the longevity of life because life
Speaker 2: is so short and it does fly by, and it
Speaker 2: just is going by faster and faster.
Speaker 1: The idea.
Speaker 2: Because Ashley posted yesterday it was nine years to the
Speaker 2: day when we first met, like walked down the stairs
Speaker 2: in Paradise, and so I was like, Jesus, nine years ago,
Speaker 2: that's such a long time. And then I think about
Speaker 2: stories like that, like your brother such an impactful story.
Speaker 2: He literally lost a toe and got it sewn back on,
Speaker 2: and it probably like is it doesn't it's not even
Speaker 2: like involved in his life. Does that make sense? Like
Speaker 2: there's so many things that have happened in my life.
Speaker 2: It doesn't even feel like it's my life, for sure.
Speaker 2: It just feels like it was something different because it
Speaker 2: was so long ago. You know, it's like that wasn't
Speaker 2: that almost feels like it wasn't me because it's just
Speaker 2: things are so different. I'm different, My world is different,
Speaker 2: and so like I see whether it be like you know,
Speaker 2: I don't know, I'm interested to see luckily hopefully hopefully
Speaker 2: not luckily because it has a happy to that you know,
Speaker 2: thirty forty years from now, because I look at like
Speaker 2: my parents' age and I'm like, that's crazy to think
Speaker 2: that they were my age at one point with kids,
Speaker 2: Like they were going through the exact same thing I'm
Speaker 2: going through right now, and their life is so different
Speaker 2: now than it was when they were my age. Like
Speaker 2: I wonder if they look back and they're like, man,
Speaker 2: that just doesn't even feel like me, you know, because
Speaker 2: it was thirty years ago and such, and we lived
Speaker 2: in a different place, and you know, we were friends
Speaker 2: with different people, and we worked at different places, and
Speaker 2: like you were a kid and now you're an adult,
Speaker 2: and it's just like, I don't know. Sometimes I think
Speaker 2: about that.
Speaker 1: I put that whenever I'm having a bad day or
Speaker 1: something bad happens to me. I kind of come with
Speaker 1: that perspective as well. I'm like, there are so many
Speaker 1: bad things that have happened to me in the past
Speaker 1: where I thought it was going to be like a
Speaker 1: life changing moment, and sure, maybe it did change some things,
Speaker 1: but like at the end of the day, I'm happy
Speaker 1: with where I'm at, and it's like it feels like
Speaker 1: an afterthought, right, Like you think this is going to
Speaker 1: be this big impactful moment and then thirty years later,
Speaker 1: you don't even realize that that was you, that it
Speaker 1: happened to. It's like it just feels like like you're
Speaker 1: saying a different person. And so whenever I'm having a
Speaker 1: bad day or something bad happens, I'm always like, in
Speaker 1: five years, I probably won't even remember this moment, for
Speaker 1: like in the slightest bit. So I don't know, it's interesting.
Speaker 1: I think that's part of the fun with having kids, though.
Speaker 1: It's like you get to pass all your experiences and
Speaker 1: wisdom down to them and hope that they make better
Speaker 1: choices than you, which they typically do. I'm sure your
Speaker 1: dad would say that about you, And I think any
Speaker 1: good parent would hope that their kid is more successful
Speaker 1: and better in every face than they are. So I
Speaker 1: don't know, it's interesting.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I just want Dawson, I know, I just want
Speaker 2: Dawson to Yeah, I just I think the most important
Speaker 2: thing for me with Dawson growing up, and then of
Speaker 2: course the second one is gonna be I think just
Speaker 2: I want to be there for him, you know, I
Speaker 2: think that's the most important thing. For Like, when I
Speaker 2: look at my dad, my relationship with my dad, there's
Speaker 2: a lot of things that I wish, well not wish
Speaker 2: were different, but like we just have a certain dynamic
Speaker 2: that I want a different dynamic with Dawson, but like
Speaker 2: the most.
Speaker 1: But my dad is the best dad ever.
Speaker 2: But my point being, God, i feel like I'm just
Speaker 2: like not being able to articulate any of my thoughts.
Speaker 2: But my point being is that the greatest gift that
Speaker 2: I've ever been given in my life. And I don't
Speaker 2: even mean like physically, I just mean like emotionally or
Speaker 2: is that just I know, like my parents, my dad
Speaker 2: will always be there, you know, And so I feel
Speaker 2: very lucky to that to know that like I could
Speaker 2: call him and then no matter what it is, He'll
Speaker 2: be there.
Speaker 1: And so that's what I.
Speaker 2: Want with Dawson, for him to know, like, dude, you
Speaker 2: just call me and I'll be there no matter what.
Speaker 2: And that's I, you know, I think the most important
Speaker 2: thing to me. So I'm hoping I'm there for him.
Speaker 1: I got a good feeling you will be. But that
Speaker 1: is going to do it for today's episode. Sorry for
Speaker 1: the listeners that you know, like I said earlier, Kielan's
Speaker 1: not here with us to keep us on track. But
Speaker 1: I feel like we did a good job. Now we
Speaker 1: did a good job. I think I think we did
Speaker 1: all right.
Speaker 2: It's like just like it was only like a little
Speaker 2: golf in Brady Talk.
Speaker 1: Yeah, when do you leave for the Tom Brady Thing?
Speaker 2: So I have to go back to Rhode Island this
Speaker 2: weekend for trivia and we have events going on, and
Speaker 2: then next Wednesday is the Brady Thing to June twelfth,
Speaker 2: TV twelve.
Speaker 1: Maybe we'll do this on on Thursday or something instead. Here.
Speaker 2: Yeah, good, good call. So next Wednesday I might not
Speaker 2: be available. I guess you can't go to the Tom
Speaker 2: Brady Thing. Man, you got a podcast to record.
Speaker 1: Yeah, gotta do the podcast today. Six years man, I'd
Speaker 1: like to I'd like to do this the day after,
Speaker 1: but I guess you're probably gonna be traveling, but I'd
Speaker 1: like to hear about it. I guess we could always
Speaker 1: do the week after traveling. Oh well, then in that case,
Speaker 1: let's do it Thursday. That sounds good to me. But
Speaker 1: that's gonna do it for this week's episode. I am
Speaker 1: so grateful to have you in my life, Jared. I
Speaker 1: am so lucky. I'm grateful to have this podcast and
Speaker 1: you as listeners. Thank you so much for listening to
Speaker 1: this week's episode of Suckers, be sure to tune in
Speaker 1: next week, where maybe we suck just a little bit
Speaker 1: less