Speaker 1: This is the best message you've ever been sent. Emmer
Speaker 1: and I are running for president. It's the Amber and
Speaker 1: Lacey Lacy and ambush you.
Speaker 2: Shit.
Speaker 1: You're probably wondering why both of us are going to
Speaker 1: run for president because I can't be president on the weekends.
Speaker 1: We gotta split this up. Yeah, I'll take the weekends. No,
Speaker 1: you're sick. I'm only Monday Tuesday. I'm only going to
Speaker 1: be president Monday and Tuesday. And we've talked about this before.
Speaker 1: I think there really should be presidential teams. I'm talking.
Speaker 1: I'm working with some people on it. Yeah, one person.
Speaker 1: I do think one person is too much.
Speaker 3: One person is too much.
Speaker 1: You end up going great after the first six months.
Speaker 1: I can't go gray. No, I'm not doing it, although
Speaker 1: I am going great. And I'm so sorry you, I'm
Speaker 1: so sorry everybody has to find out like this. It's God.
Speaker 1: I'm only gonna do Monday Tuesday. Sorry, got things I
Speaker 1: gotta do. Hey, gosh, this is really hard. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: there should only be yes or no questions. Yeah, you
Speaker 1: just stamped the paper they give it to you. No, guys,
Speaker 1: leave the presidency to us. By everyone else. World, peas
Speaker 1: and sisters are on the case, free ice cream for everybody. Yeah, yes, Sam, Yeah,
Speaker 1: a lot of stuff right there. Just know in general? Yeah, kids, No,
Speaker 1: what's no thanks. Welcome to the Amber and Lacey Lacy
Speaker 1: and Amber Show. I'm Amber Mildred Ruffin and I am
Speaker 1: Lacey Lamar. I was gonna say my middle name, but
Speaker 1: I decided not to. You don't want people to know
Speaker 1: your middle name. No, it's chrysanthemum. It is chrys anthemum.
Speaker 1: It is not. But guys, we are coming to you
Speaker 1: live today. So you may think, oh, yeah, I'm listening
Speaker 1: to this. You know I downloaded it or you know
Speaker 1: it is just straight off etn' it. It's like you're
Speaker 1: now one live. We're going live, no breaks. A lot
Speaker 1: of stuff has happened, guys, it's a lot. What's a lot?
Speaker 1: You're just making stuff up? I just mean the puffy stuff.
Speaker 1: But I know when, but what when people who have
Speaker 1: assaulted women face consequences fills me with a joy that
Speaker 1: is undeniable. Been waking up the past few days, just
Speaker 1: smile on my face, having a great time. Now is
Speaker 1: what happened? The super sad ish shit I've ever fucking
Speaker 1: heard of my life. Yes, and that's why this is
Speaker 1: such a relief, because it seems like there's consequences, and listener,
Speaker 1: I love consequences. Now do I love the prison system? No?
Speaker 1: Do we have a lot of other problems. Yes, that's
Speaker 1: not what this moment is about. This moment is about consequences.
Speaker 1: God love them. I'm all for it. Uh, Lacy, you've
Speaker 1: been to jail. Do you want to talk about that?
Speaker 1: Was under another name? I escaped and started a new life.
Speaker 1: Thank you for bringing it up. Now they're gonna be
Speaker 1: a thought for me. Oh no, Now you gotta start
Speaker 1: a new life. Not gonna change my identity again by
Speaker 1: everybody gonna go, oh no, it's them burn Hill Dago Show.
Speaker 1: That is a great name. It's a great name. I
Speaker 1: want you to consider it. Okay, I am this is
Speaker 1: what I'm gonna say about this. I am so shocked
Speaker 1: that he did not escape and go somewhere. He a fool,
Speaker 1: You are fool. He tried to make bail. They've now
Speaker 1: denied it twice. Did you think they were going you're black,
Speaker 1: You're not getting nowhere.
Speaker 3: You're not doing that.
Speaker 1: You can se eighty million dollars. They're not going to
Speaker 1: do it. They're not gonna do it the second that
Speaker 1: video came out. He should have just gone. And I don't. Look.
Speaker 1: I'm not saying I want him to go. I want
Speaker 1: him to face consequences and stay in jail, but he
Speaker 1: I'm shocked that this man didn't not run away. Guys,
Speaker 1: he didn't run away, and neither should you. Stay tuned
Speaker 1: from Worthy, they say today's guest is Sherry Kola, who
Speaker 1: I'm a huge fan of. I love her so much.
Speaker 1: Fucking loved joy Ride, fucking great show. Let's meet her
Speaker 1: in one minute. Okay, we'll be right back. I love
Speaker 1: you all.
Speaker 3: Hi, I'm lazy. You are goddesses that have blessed us consistently. Okay,
Speaker 3: and we thank you, thank you. And I'm just like
Speaker 3: this because it's my wedding day.
Speaker 1: I can't. I am as your best man. Oh I
Speaker 1: am ready. I have the ring in my pocket. Oh no,
Speaker 1: the ring?
Speaker 3: Thank god. Have you seen those nightmarish videos where the
Speaker 3: best man is about to deliver the ring in the
Speaker 3: most important moment ever and he slips and pushes the
Speaker 3: bride into a pool?
Speaker 1: What? I don't think? I have, no, because that sounds
Speaker 1: great to me.
Speaker 3: Those kind of videos make my nipples hard.
Speaker 1: No, you know, for excitement, Ei like Amber, we got
Speaker 1: to step this up next, next podcast, ike in.
Speaker 3: You know you are stuning you like.
Speaker 1: We just granted you a wish?
Speaker 3: How can I tell you more? You are gorgeous and
Speaker 3: I'm very lucky.
Speaker 1: A small singing in a song, song and a song. Yeah, yes, Rita.
Speaker 3: And Lacy, what a pleasure that you graced me with
Speaker 3: your presence and your essence is a song of a
Speaker 3: shampoo commercial.
Speaker 1: I believe you now. I didn't believe you then, I
Speaker 1: believe you now. I'm waiting for this sing.
Speaker 3: Them too much, too soon?
Speaker 1: Okay, dang, that's a good song. Sorry everybody, Hey, everybody,
Speaker 1: we are here with pop star Sherry Cola. She yoused
Speaker 1: to do stand up and star in movies like joy
Speaker 1: Ride and Fucking Now we've discovered her true talent. Yepes
Speaker 1: freestyle famously.
Speaker 3: Run or Run Runner Runner runner up of American Idol
Speaker 3: Season fourteen. So they cut me out.
Speaker 1: Right because people were like, whoa, I'm so jealous.
Speaker 3: Of her because of the falsettos I could hit. It
Speaker 3: was too too much for network television, you know.
Speaker 1: But if you watch the uncut on cable, you'll see
Speaker 1: her in there, and and you came there looking better
Speaker 1: than everybody else that came there looking like everybody's afters,
Speaker 1: because you know American idol, they come, they'd look a
Speaker 1: little rough and then they fix them up at the
Speaker 1: final You came in there like you, like you made.
Speaker 3: I walked in as the final product, you know what
Speaker 3: I'm saying, as the fully evolved Pokemon. And they thought
Speaker 3: she's she's dropped dead to every bone.
Speaker 1: You were too much.
Speaker 3: She is bisexual, Oh my god, superpower and she can sing.
Speaker 1: She's mewtwo? Is that the most involved? Is mew two?
Speaker 1: The fault version?
Speaker 3: I mean it's guff.
Speaker 1: Wait but everyone what Okay, I can already see let
Speaker 1: me let me backtrack. We will never be on track
Speaker 1: this entire podcast. So now, fans of the little structure
Speaker 1: this podcast had, I'm sorry, but if you didn't like
Speaker 1: the structure, you'll double enjoy this episode. Back to now,
Speaker 1: what Pokemon are you? Lacey? Do you know enough about
Speaker 1: Pokemon to choose your own Pokemon? I'm Jigglypuff. And I
Speaker 1: didn't say that because she said it. I said it
Speaker 1: because I that was the first Pokemon that I had
Speaker 1: ever learned of, Because it puts people to sleep. Correct. Yeah,
Speaker 1: So when I worked at my little bad non pas
Speaker 1: shouldn't say that the girls home, and the girls were
Speaker 1: really really bad, and they would be like, some of
Speaker 1: them would come up to you and cuss you out.
Speaker 1: I would just do this while they were cussing me out,
Speaker 1: and it would make a mad that was my puff,
Speaker 1: and they would be like, I remember one girl yelling
Speaker 1: and he going not working.
Speaker 3: A joke, that's funny. It's getting witchcraft definite nor relaxed
Speaker 3: rising is what I identify, because one puts people to sleep,
Speaker 3: the all the ones sleeps, you know what I mean?
Speaker 3: Get you a girl who can do both.
Speaker 1: I think I would have to be mister Mime because
Speaker 1: it's arguably the dumbest one. What is that one? You
Speaker 1: have to tell me? Girl? Mister mime, if I'm not mistaken,
Speaker 1: is like a dude with you know, white gloves and
Speaker 1: I believe, like a purple jacket and like clown hair,
Speaker 1: and he just mimes and that's it. I don't think
Speaker 1: he has a power. I think he's just hugging out
Speaker 1: there enjoying himself. I fucking love that guy. Like you
Speaker 1: you open up your little ball. He pops out. He's
Speaker 1: up against Squirtle, he's up against the fire guy. Oh
Speaker 1: what can he do? He can move stuff with his mind.
Speaker 1: Oh that's cute.
Speaker 3: Wait is it mister mind ma or mister mind du mister?
Speaker 3: And then that's false advertising it is if he can
Speaker 3: move stuff with his mind, he's a liar.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, not us finding a loophole.
Speaker 3: Let's try to cancel Pokemon Stely dragging, ashketch a, Missi
Speaker 3: and Rock. Okay, Amber Lacy, very important question. Kill fuck Mary,
Speaker 3: Ash Missy.
Speaker 1: Or the Misty. Okay, Okay, I'm gonna go first. I
Speaker 1: don't know any of these people. He's ready, I'm sucking
Speaker 1: them all. Come on to suck them all.
Speaker 3: Pogamon and that's my final answer. Okaysh ad for Pokemon today,
Speaker 3: Good job.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Who knew that this is where we would end up?
Speaker 1: But I do we Now you might know Pokemon because
Speaker 1: you a child, but we know Pokemon because our nieces
Speaker 1: and nephews are of Pokemon age. So the TV would
Speaker 1: just always have Pokemon on it everywhere we were.
Speaker 3: Oh, I'm pretty sure we're close to being the same
Speaker 3: US Census bracket for sure.
Speaker 1: Say your age, say age, say you age. Never already
Speaker 1: googled it. I am ten years old old.
Speaker 3: They need a lie everything intet.
Speaker 1: Ten years older than you. I'm thirty years old. I'm
Speaker 1: just fifteen years older than you. Give it.
Speaker 3: Well, my chaperone is sitting right here in front of
Speaker 3: the chaperone. I have to say, I fucking hate when
Speaker 3: articles put our ages in the parentheses.
Speaker 1: What does it have to do with anything?
Speaker 3: You might as well put the circumference of my nipples?
Speaker 3: Like why is it so much information? Like just tell
Speaker 3: everyone I lost my virginity in the part of a
Speaker 3: jack in the box. Like why information necessary?
Speaker 1: We don't need it? Or like take a liberty take
Speaker 1: a senior citizen amber reference like that that's something. Now
Speaker 1: you're talking.
Speaker 3: Jerry atriate comedian Jerry Cola, Like let's really double down.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what I love. Yeah, you know what I'm
Speaker 1: says Lacy Lamar. That's what I want. Thank you, l Yeah,
Speaker 1: to say the least. Guys, we have already changed Pokemon
Speaker 1: forever because we're right, and now we'll change the way
Speaker 1: people report. It is odd that they flute our ages.
Speaker 1: That doesn't make any sense.
Speaker 3: What like just call my ex out by name, like
Speaker 3: why don't you.
Speaker 1: Even no one liked him?
Speaker 3: I mean, where are you now?
Speaker 1: That's at least something like. I don't find myself caring
Speaker 1: how old anyone is unless I have to make references
Speaker 1: with them. But I do care who you dated? Like
Speaker 1: that fun who wasn't? Were they? Did you kiss them
Speaker 1: with the open mouth? Father?
Speaker 3: Oh? Yeah, songe action e lingua l.
Speaker 1: I can't do it. I mean I have to know
Speaker 1: who dated who, why and for how long. There are
Speaker 1: a couple of great things you can find out about
Speaker 1: a person. One they gay, period two or queer. Two
Speaker 1: they can sing God, and they dated someone. You know,
Speaker 1: those are the best things you can find out about
Speaker 1: each other. You dated Cheryl, She's crazy?
Speaker 3: How did you do it now? Cheryl Cola gets around? Yeah,
Speaker 3: Cheryl Cola.
Speaker 1: Your ex wife, Cheryl Cola.
Speaker 3: We had to break up because our names were the same.
Speaker 3: Stupid too much And on my wedding day, you know,
Speaker 3: I'm turning a new leave.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: This is outrageous from the jump, and I'm upset. I
Speaker 3: never want to say goodbye.
Speaker 1: I want to do exactly what you're doing except mean
Speaker 1: it a little bit. I want to get a really
Speaker 1: nice white outfit and then tell people it's my wedding day,
Speaker 1: but then never never copped it being a bit ever.
Speaker 3: Wait, that's so funny. I feel like you could wear
Speaker 3: like a nice white outfit and just get away with
Speaker 3: shit if you say I'm late for my wedding. I'm
Speaker 3: late for my wedding. Just everyone just cut the line
Speaker 3: at Starbucks, I'm late for my wedding.
Speaker 1: Congratulations. You know they'd be like, you're wearing a suit,
Speaker 1: so you're marrying a woman, right.
Speaker 3: Yes, conversation then you're over there, but.
Speaker 1: I would like to have this conversation. Actually, now here's
Speaker 1: how we met.
Speaker 3: You were eating a breed.
Speaker 1: I don't not all that was a song.
Speaker 3: By this artist named Hoku. When we met you were
Speaker 3: eating a breed, very specific lyrics.
Speaker 1: Yeah, wonder that really happened to that person, because you
Speaker 1: don't just throw that in there. That's a true story.
Speaker 3: That is based on a true story.
Speaker 1: Is a true story. Some songs, you can tell they
Speaker 1: put too much detail. It's true, Lacy, how far away
Speaker 1: are you from your microphone? Oh no, well I was
Speaker 1: told I really loud, So now I guess I got.
Speaker 3: That silence you, lady, Let them silence you. You that
Speaker 3: microphone to the esophagus. You get that deep in there. Okay,
Speaker 3: I will go call an oscopy with my microphone before
Speaker 3: they turn my volume down. I won't treat that microphone
Speaker 3: like a skewer and me a lambka bob before I shut.
Speaker 1: I did not think that was where you were going
Speaker 1: with it. But I'm glad that usual nice?
Speaker 3: Isn't it? The visual nice?
Speaker 1: You gotta admit.
Speaker 3: Obsessed delicious? Lamb? No, seriously, where is Yusef? I can't mind.
Speaker 1: Him up at the altar By the end of this.
Speaker 3: My first boyfriend, Yusef. That's it. That's That's the.
Speaker 1: Tweet that should be a bit on the show? Is
Speaker 1: we all tweet something that makes no sense? Another thing,
Speaker 1: my first boyfriend, Jason, This is what I thought of
Speaker 1: when you said lamb kebab. Can you remember I was
Speaker 1: talking about this with my friend the other day. Can
Speaker 1: you remember when you realized that what you were eating meat,
Speaker 1: the meat you're eating used to be an animal. Can
Speaker 1: you remember that? I can remember the exact time.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's so fucked up. When was that done?
Speaker 1: We were eating chicken and I went, wait, so this
Speaker 1: is a drumstick and this is chicken. Is this the
Speaker 1: leg of a chicken and how he walks? And Mom
Speaker 1: and Dad laughed themselves sick.
Speaker 3: And that's how you knew you had a career in comedy.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I.
Speaker 3: Think about it often. I gotta be honest, because I
Speaker 3: grew up eating everything from a chicken feet to peigans estine, okay,
Speaker 3: everything in between. And I still dabble in those arts,
Speaker 3: and there is guilt sometimes, but I just grew up
Speaker 3: eating so much meat and and you know, from the
Speaker 3: lamb kebabs uh to the cam look of love cobs.
Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying. I eat it all. But
Speaker 3: what's your story? Are you two eater of alls?
Speaker 1: Yep? I'll eat anything now, I will eat That's right.
Speaker 1: I told Amber anything we're on we crashed into andyes,
Speaker 1: Ambers the first to go. She's going to rob anyway.
Speaker 1: I'm not going to please help me.
Speaker 3: She's first to go.
Speaker 1: I'll keep anything.
Speaker 3: So my girlfriend, the love of my life. Currently, I
Speaker 3: already forgot about Yusuf valadet bisexuality. My girlfriend does not
Speaker 3: eat red meat. And at first I thought it was
Speaker 3: gonna be a deal breaker, like red flag, you know
Speaker 3: what I'm saying, But turns out I still love the woman. Okay,
Speaker 3: and and you know she she was pescataria, but now
Speaker 3: she started to eat chicken. I'm slowly micro might have
Speaker 3: Micro you are you're getting the meat. Micro does a
Speaker 3: long Listen as long as she's a puskatarian. If you
Speaker 3: know what I'm saying, did that merch.
Speaker 1: And that's all that Matterstarian is Chris. Definitely a shirt.
Speaker 1: It's definitely a shirt. I'm definitely ordering.
Speaker 3: A koozy or a key chain at the least acterion.
Speaker 1: There's nothing wrong with that. I like it. Okay, wait,
Speaker 1: now ready to go. I might I might order the
Speaker 1: three of us shirts. That's a Puskatarian. I might be
Speaker 1: one of the more.
Speaker 3: Normal under my tree in December. That will not be that.
Speaker 1: Lacy.
Speaker 3: We had the to sing scale.
Speaker 1: I'm so it was scam like Lacey's special ring for
Speaker 1: scam likely and the song she sings to go with
Speaker 1: it is so beautiful.
Speaker 2: It is scam likely. That's really scam. When our album
Speaker 2: comes off exactly ridiculous songs.
Speaker 3: I kind of love the three of us just going
Speaker 3: on score together a cappella.
Speaker 1: Style, unsatisfied audiences all over.
Speaker 3: But here's the here's the twist. My loves no audience.
Speaker 1: Now that's how it should be.
Speaker 3: That's has that ever been done?
Speaker 1: No, we're in Detroit where precisely none of your business.
Speaker 3: No witnesses, not let anybody.
Speaker 1: But we'll be singing from seven to eight, and then
Speaker 1: again from ten to eleven.
Speaker 3: Seven we'll get a trio acapella. Mattinee. Okay, I'm all
Speaker 3: for it. I am all for it.
Speaker 1: Cherry, you said something earlier that I need to know
Speaker 1: the answer to. Now I don't know how to ask this,
Speaker 1: but just earlier you said you grew up eating pig intestines,
Speaker 1: and I am forced to ask, what do you call it?
Speaker 1: Big intestines? What do you call that? What do you
Speaker 1: call it?
Speaker 3: Well, listen, I also, in my adult life love to
Speaker 3: eat ass It's a lifelong training. I mean, we really
Speaker 3: went there. So in Shanghai, knees. If you're talking literal language,
Speaker 3: it's which literally means large intestine. So we're not even
Speaker 3: you know, giving the pig the respect. It's just in general,
Speaker 3: uh or some which is pig contested. Is that what
Speaker 3: you meant?
Speaker 1: That's exactly what I meant, because we call it chins.
Speaker 3: I am familiar with chitlins. I am familiar with chitlins.
Speaker 3: Uh love obsessed?
Speaker 1: Do they taste the same? Have you tasted? Why did we?
Speaker 1: Why did we think we're the only people to eat that?
Speaker 1: Like in your hand, You're like, no one else has
Speaker 1: e We I ain't needing that ship. People.
Speaker 3: Here's the thing. Even though we are all living our
Speaker 3: best lives and you know, chiseled to the gods, I
Speaker 3: know that we we didn't grow up rich, you know
Speaker 3: what I'm saying. So it was like I was eating
Speaker 3: like porridge, uh, preserved duck egg, which is that black
Speaker 3: like yeah, for adjacents, which is so delicious in my opinion,
Speaker 3: Like this is I'm drooling right now. But it was
Speaker 3: the the insides of the animal that I think we're
Speaker 3: maybe cheaper, I'm not really sure, but or maybe it's
Speaker 3: just us not wanting anything to go to waste, like
Speaker 3: the inside of a chicken as well. Chickens also have
Speaker 3: intestines that are edible, Like, I mean, I've just had
Speaker 3: it all, you know, a duck tongue. Tongue I'm talking
Speaker 3: sharing no ride with the jaw slash beak attacked.
Speaker 1: Don't now that sounds delicious?
Speaker 3: Okay? I actually had to take the two of you
Speaker 3: out on an authentic Chinese feast because we'll be surprised.
Speaker 1: When you said duck egg, I was interested. I have
Speaker 1: to say, I've seen those black duck eggs in the thing,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, I can't it looks like it tastes good,
Speaker 1: it looks right.
Speaker 3: It's delicious. Uh, it's well, okay. We just have to
Speaker 3: be in touch and further explore the cuisine together, because
Speaker 3: it's hard to say. That's why it's always so offensive
Speaker 3: when those foods are on fear factor, for example, because
Speaker 3: I'm like, girl that was on the breakfast table.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's not right, that's not right.
Speaker 3: Hello.
Speaker 1: One time I went to Australia to shoot a video
Speaker 1: for Like Tourism Australia. Man, we were supposed to go
Speaker 1: to a break You can't be telling us what the
Speaker 1: fuck to do? We need so find out what happened
Speaker 1: when I went to Australia. After this break, Welcome back
Speaker 1: to the Amber and Lacey Lacy and Amber Show. Our
Speaker 1: guest today is Sherry Kola And oh, here's what happened
Speaker 1: in Australia. So I went to Australia for Like the
Speaker 1: Tourism Board of Australia and they were like, they were like,
Speaker 1: will you go to this five star restaurant? This guy
Speaker 1: probably had a Michelin star. I don't know. I don't care.
Speaker 1: I don't care because I hate all food. I hate
Speaker 1: all food. I eat like twelve things. I'm the worst
Speaker 1: eater you've ever met, any child Canary. It's really bad.
Speaker 1: So I tell them this.
Speaker 3: I I think I saw your name on the list
Speaker 3: of a variety is worst eaters you've ever met.
Speaker 1: That's called the Amber List. That's how bad. So this
Speaker 1: man made all this food. Each thing tastes worse than
Speaker 1: the last. And I'm telling this to him to his
Speaker 1: face because he knows what's what it is. And then
Speaker 1: it's also very funny. And then he makes vegemite. What's
Speaker 1: the Australian one?
Speaker 3: Ye? Yeah, customers, man, the fuck?
Speaker 1: Why would you do? Why would you give this to me?
Speaker 1: This is terrible? And that was my first hate crime.
Speaker 3: Yes, oh my god, I was literally good to say
Speaker 3: it's a hate crime. I was literally so I like
Speaker 3: I said, I famously eat everything. And when I had vegamite,
Speaker 3: I was shot at. How I wasn't immediately turned on.
Speaker 3: It was greasier than I expected it was. I think
Speaker 3: it's because they put it on toast, so it tricks
Speaker 3: you because of the color. You think it's like Natella.
Speaker 3: You think it might be sweets. I'm still not sure
Speaker 3: what it is, but I am willing to give it
Speaker 3: another try. They do it differently down on there. They
Speaker 3: definitely do.
Speaker 1: You are you might be the world's best eater. If
Speaker 1: that hits your lips and you said, maybe one more child,
Speaker 1: you are the world's best eater. Hit me, baby.
Speaker 3: About to say that too? Are? We were we separated,
Speaker 3: we were at birth, were right?
Speaker 1: Baby?
Speaker 3: On't eat that, you know. I have to say I
Speaker 3: am singing better than usual this morning, which is weird
Speaker 3: because I'm actually not. You said that good when it
Speaker 3: comes to you know, the the octaves. But I am
Speaker 3: chilling it.
Speaker 1: You have because you're starting way down in the basement
Speaker 1: and we've heard you get up to the top floor
Speaker 1: already of a.
Speaker 3: Five story building, straddling the chimney. Okay, I have a question.
Speaker 1: Get off the chimney, don't.
Speaker 3: Jimmy Stanta.
Speaker 1: Chimney.
Speaker 3: Here's my question. Yes, here's my question. What are we
Speaker 3: actually supposed to talk about today?
Speaker 1: Thank you for asking. Uh. This is the part of
Speaker 1: the show where we are oh, where we slide into
Speaker 1: Lacey's dms. Hey, everyone, oh, it's time for a segment
Speaker 1: called please slide out of Lacey's d These are dms
Speaker 1: from real men with mothers probably uh, who have failed
Speaker 1: to give it. Probably not. And these men, real men,
Speaker 1: have sent dms, real dams to Lacey Lamar, a real
Speaker 1: human being. Lace. Okay, this first one, I we were talking,
Speaker 1: we were chit chatting, you know, hi, how are you
Speaker 1: what you know? And then listen, Cherry, it don't even
Speaker 1: get that far. Normally is straight with the nonsense. Okay.
Speaker 1: So it had been like a few back and forth okay,
Speaker 1: and I said, you know, tell me a little bit
Speaker 1: about yourself and this will sends this. I am a
Speaker 1: combination of Bugs Bunny and Beaver Cleaver. I'm serious. By
Speaker 1: the way, Bugs Bunny had to be a male because
Speaker 1: he sailed with Christopher Columbus, my favorite episode, and that's
Speaker 1: straight up dude's work. Lacey set up Amber Lacy. No wait,
Speaker 1: christ I'm not giving this christ he lost me. Christopher Columbus,
Speaker 1: that's an episode of Bunny. Now he's on the boat
Speaker 1: with Christopher Columbus. Okay, Amber, and that's why you should
Speaker 1: give him one kiss on the mouth, Lacy. I don't
Speaker 1: think this is that bad.
Speaker 3: No song, only bottom lip the bottom that the overbite special,
Speaker 3: you know what I mean? Uma the way, My question
Speaker 3: is how hot is this man?
Speaker 1: Not hot at all? Not hot enough for me to
Speaker 1: listen to this mess again. Now he loves cartoons, Lacey.
Speaker 1: He's the Christopher Columbus was that was his favorite episode. No,
Speaker 1: thank you, sir, kill fuck Mary.
Speaker 3: Kill kill ny oh Beaver Christopher Columbus.
Speaker 1: Well we're killing Christopher Killopher Columbus by Yeah, yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: going to be silly Beaver Cleaver, thank you.
Speaker 3: Honestly, bugs, Bunny is game.
Speaker 1: He can look like anything. He can look like whoever
Speaker 1: you want him to look like. That's true. I want
Speaker 1: him to be that sexy girl. He's that sexy girl.
Speaker 1: That's right. You want to be Beethoven. He's Beethove, you
Speaker 1: would have to be. I wanna tell him to look
Speaker 1: like because we've all wanted to fuck Beethoven. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: tell him look like Denzel Washington, and he's gonna be like,
Speaker 1: what's up. We're gonna That's how it's gonna work.
Speaker 3: Wow, you're right, Bugs Bunny deserves a star on the
Speaker 3: Walk of Fame. Where do we sign the position?
Speaker 1: Ever? Believe you were for this? I'm for this. He
Speaker 1: is the beaver Cleaver, he said, I'm I'm a combination
Speaker 1: of bugs Bunny and beaver Cleaver. No, thank you, no
Speaker 1: thank you. I don't know what you're fuck you're talking
Speaker 1: about that and a little bit reserved.
Speaker 3: Right right the range the range. If he's not you,
Speaker 3: you weren't interested from the job.
Speaker 1: And that's straight up dude's work. What is that?
Speaker 3: I do give points for? Like elaboration Amber does.
Speaker 1: Amber loves the silliness. If someone's super silly, Ambers like,
Speaker 1: give them.
Speaker 3: Well, we love poetry. We love poetry.
Speaker 1: I got some poems too, but we don't start with
Speaker 1: the poems. Share you Oh my god? Yeah, the pages,
Speaker 1: pages and pages of the poem. No that I've received, sir,
Speaker 1: I'm not reading. I'm we're on page six. I don't
Speaker 1: care about your poem. You're if you can make it
Speaker 1: to a six pages of poem, you can't write poetry.
Speaker 1: Already said you should have said what you said that
Speaker 1: first page. I don't need to listen to six pages.
Speaker 3: Your d ms, it's giving d m B, It's giving
Speaker 3: line is out the door.
Speaker 1: I love it. That is so true. These d ms
Speaker 1: are I'm stealing this. I'm sorry, I'm stealing it.
Speaker 3: We'll wear it, guys.
Speaker 1: We have too many shirts. No, I love it. You
Speaker 1: know I love a good T shirt. Well, you have
Speaker 1: a good T shirt message.
Speaker 3: I love it. We have so many fucking shirts. Why
Speaker 3: will we never turn down a free one?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Never help you you. You'll knock a toddler over.
Speaker 1: If someone throws you're in the you're in the audience.
Speaker 1: If someone throws a free T shirt, that baby's biting it.
Speaker 1: I'm snatching the shirt. I need it.
Speaker 3: I will put an eighty five year old man in
Speaker 3: a choke hold. I'm with you for a V neck.
Speaker 1: Ooh if it's a all not the V neck, T shirt,
Speaker 1: not the V neck.
Speaker 3: When it's free, baby, it's coming home with me. Baby.
Speaker 3: A woman's cut love I tiny sleeves? What is what that?
Speaker 3: Why aren't women's said? Girl? My armpit is out.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I got a shave. You decided to gettyli. That's
Speaker 1: not fair.
Speaker 3: Where's the rest of it?
Speaker 1: I tried to throw away a hoodie the other day
Speaker 1: that was free like every hoodie I've ever seen in
Speaker 1: my entire life, and I just couldn't. I couldn't do it.
Speaker 3: It could do Tuesday, go by Tay with me the
Speaker 3: free hoodie? Do it from every Cliper game I've been at,
Speaker 3: It's whoa dude? Yes today? What the fuck? I'm not kidding.
Speaker 3: I am not doing this?
Speaker 1: Good good, you're doing it. I mean, I'm sorry. Voice
Speaker 1: to men.
Speaker 3: Am I gonna be a judge on the voice?
Speaker 1: You are? You're dressed for it, girl, you are ready?
Speaker 3: That's for my chair.
Speaker 1: Every podcast should start with us, with our back to
Speaker 1: the what if one of us never turns around what
Speaker 1: I was like, I don't like this?
Speaker 3: Guess then elimination Lacy, okay, fun, elimination off.
Speaker 1: You're off the podcast.
Speaker 3: Are there more dms?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I got one more. I got one more.
Speaker 3: I'm on the edge of myself.
Speaker 1: It's funny because we've been kind of talking about this.
Speaker 1: I want to eat your cat like those immigrants in
Speaker 1: Ohio topical. So I just said, so you thought using
Speaker 1: a rambling racist lies would make me go out with you.
Speaker 1: This cannot be working for you. That's all I said.
Speaker 3: I was racist. Lie, he hate you with an R.
Speaker 1: R LM bally. Yeah, and he thought he's probably sending
Speaker 1: that to like twenty women.
Speaker 3: Oh it's it's giving. Yeah, he thinks he's so.
Speaker 1: And I was like, no, what are we doing? Why?
Speaker 1: And also the funniest one of those is someone tweeted
Speaker 1: call me Haitian the way I'd be eating her cat that.
Speaker 1: I was like, lady, you done made the funniest one.
Speaker 3: That is just brilliant joke writing. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: Yeah, the remake songs are amazing. Yeah, eat the cat,
Speaker 1: Eat the cat. Love it.
Speaker 3: But but this guy, I mean the new choice.
Speaker 1: Oh guys, is it life just short form improv when
Speaker 1: you really think about it? Yeah, are you going to
Speaker 1: tell me that?
Speaker 3: Put yes and on my tombstone? Okay, that's already a
Speaker 3: T shirt at my funeral, take a suggestion from the audience.
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, that would be hilarious.
Speaker 3: I have two comps.
Speaker 1: Two compsis I have two cops for my funeral. They're
Speaker 1: in the back and you didn't, so please don't shout
Speaker 1: anything out. Amber knows that I love an entertaining funeral,
Speaker 1: and I tell everybody in my family pick your song.
Speaker 1: My daughter's like, no, Mom, and I I'll pick it
Speaker 1: for you. Daisy Duke's You're gonna it's that it's a
Speaker 1: fun song.
Speaker 3: You know what my concern is on the daily the
Speaker 3: photo they use because everything it was my most something
Speaker 3: on feed or whatever. You just have to assume that
Speaker 3: will be the last photo.
Speaker 1: You're right, So you have to.
Speaker 3: Make sure that ship looks good. When you go missing.
Speaker 3: They will pull from I mean, who knows, just a
Speaker 3: candid from Getty Images.
Speaker 1: I just googled. This is the first photo that came
Speaker 1: up of you.
Speaker 3: I mean, it's not bad.
Speaker 1: That's not bad. That's your that's your pick.
Speaker 3: That's that's a good way to stay on the out.
Speaker 3: That's a good way to go out.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that was the first one that popped up. This
Speaker 1: is you. I gotta die right now?
Speaker 3: No, that no, that one is giving big Easel energy
Speaker 3: right there.
Speaker 1: Somebody play back that ass up because that's well, I
Speaker 1: hope we die at the same time, because that's how
Speaker 1: some must off.
Speaker 3: And Juicy J can only perform at one boy. Wait,
Speaker 3: why did I say no? I was singing bands that
Speaker 3: make it adds juvenile?
Speaker 1: You were Lacy?
Speaker 3: Did you go out cut that part out Quisby right
Speaker 3: now on anything. Two thousand and one, Hip Hop I
Speaker 3: Will come through.
Speaker 1: Oh well we are the raggediest rap listeners of all time,
Speaker 1: like the that are just like like like yes, back
Speaker 1: that ass up, but like I'm so kwa ship, I'm
Speaker 1: so hood for sure that I would say that's my
Speaker 1: maybe my second favorite song of all time. Hit him Up,
Speaker 1: Hit him Up by Tupac probably the end of it,
Speaker 1: just the grease cutting everyone out nothing, what's that? What's
Speaker 1: our one song? Never Scared? Oh love Never Scared. Bye
Speaker 1: bye pig, big Punisher. Nobody knows remember.
Speaker 3: Okay, So if we're talking this specific MTV Jams era,
Speaker 3: the Mystic Gold.
Speaker 1: Days, oh yeah, mystical. Yeah, I love that mystical.
Speaker 3: The Mystic Gold Days. And I'm also like I also
Speaker 3: love like the kind of a romantic y you know,
Speaker 3: the fabulous into yous you know what I mean, the
Speaker 3: the the chingey tyree is pulling me back.
Speaker 1: Oh that's a good song. That is a great song.
Speaker 1: It's on my song, my work. I'll playlist all the time.
Speaker 3: Sorry. Two thousand and four, she.
Speaker 1: Went to Ruben Studdemember.
Speaker 4: Okay, okay, like that was like you were going through
Speaker 4: it before we even discovered feelings.
Speaker 1: I feel like if you go back and you listen
Speaker 1: to a lot of the ratchet trash rap that I
Speaker 1: was consuming at an alarming rate back then, you'll hear
Speaker 1: some troublingly misogynist things. Oh, of course. And conversely, I
Speaker 1: was listening to I'll Never Remember his Name, a I'm
Speaker 1: a piano afrobeats type of person, and the song was
Speaker 1: called bring It to the Owner, and the whole theme
Speaker 1: of the song was your pussy belongs to me. If
Speaker 1: something's wrong with it, baby, just bring it to the owner.
Speaker 1: And every song in that genre is so like like thoughtful,
Speaker 1: like like sweet sweet like that, like if you're having
Speaker 1: any pussy problems, let me help you.
Speaker 3: It's it's it's giving, projective. And yeah, we were dropping
Speaker 3: it low. Yeah, and yet both cheeks were synchronized swimming.
Speaker 1: Can you move your cheeks independently of one another?
Speaker 3: Baby girl? Funny to assume I even have met bet there.
Speaker 3: This is very serious. I was born without an ass Oh,
Speaker 3: I'm okay.
Speaker 1: I have been.
Speaker 3: Searching for this ass my entire life. It's been on
Speaker 3: a milk carton, it's been on Craigslist ads, this ass
Speaker 3: has not turned up anywhere.
Speaker 1: Go to Miami.
Speaker 3: You know what's funny is from Miami. She's Cuban and
Speaker 3: she and I somehow our Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants
Speaker 3: because she has like a smaller waist and a booty.
Speaker 3: I have nothing like. I'm just like cylindic all the
Speaker 3: way down, and yet we can share genes. It's fascinating. Actually,
Speaker 3: it's science. Women in Stem.
Speaker 1: It is science. Sister of the Traveling Plants. Wasn't none
Speaker 1: but women in Stem. That's all I was. You can
Speaker 1: call it magic. It's just women in Stem.
Speaker 3: Girl. You know there's that Brotherhood of the Traveling jockstrap. Honey, No,
Speaker 3: it's that those coming different sizes, no doubt.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, we're so bad. Guys were so bad. Okay,
Speaker 1: should we do one Sister Court?
Speaker 3: Oh speaking of sisters, I mean sure.
Speaker 1: What they say? Too late? Hey, everybody, welcome to Sister Court.
Speaker 1: As I should have mentioned in the first act, but
Speaker 1: you never remember. You can write in to the show
Speaker 1: and get advice, and maybe your advice will be talked
Speaker 1: about in Sister Court. That email address is Amberandlacyadvice at
Speaker 1: gmail dot com. Write it in and hear us give
Speaker 1: you a verdict, just like we're going to do for
Speaker 1: this person right now. I'm Amber Refin and Lacey's Lacey Lamar.
Speaker 1: Sherry is judged Sherry, So watch your ass, Okay, I
Speaker 1: am going to read one of the first Sister Court scenarios.
Speaker 1: What do I tell my friends when they're not invited
Speaker 1: to a party. I'm in my mid sixties, okay, and
Speaker 1: I like to throw parties from my friends ever so often.
Speaker 1: To be honest, some of my parties are very very nice,
Speaker 1: with catered food and expensive wines. Because of this, I
Speaker 1: can't invite every one of my friends to everyone my parties,
Speaker 1: and it's like guests post something on Facebook or Instagram.
Speaker 1: I will inevitably hear from someone in a few days
Speaker 1: asking why they were not invited. What should I say
Speaker 1: to them?
Speaker 3: That is uh, because I go through this daily. But
Speaker 3: I think I'm on the side of just please don't
Speaker 3: invite me, you know what I mean, give me the
Speaker 3: liberty to sit out. That's toff. You know, you could
Speaker 3: always say that it's tough. It's tough. That's why I'm
Speaker 3: always zero or one hundred. I'm not throwing a party
Speaker 3: unless it's it's one hundred people.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it ain't no fun if you don't have none.
Speaker 3: You know, it's either one on one. It's either heart
Speaker 3: to heart or crowdser no in between.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know. I just don't. I would never
Speaker 1: be like cater my party, drink, my expensiveness and that,
Speaker 1: so I can't relate to you.
Speaker 3: I guess that it's also true we grew up fo.
Speaker 1: Yeah, this stuff in the cabinets. I cater all my parties,
Speaker 1: and I have what I do know, I don't do.
Speaker 1: What I do tell people is don't post this my friend.
Speaker 1: I'm notorious for. Wait, just don't you take a picture
Speaker 1: in a corner and say I'm having a great time.
Speaker 1: Don't put you at Lacey's house. Don't put my I'd
Speaker 1: never post anything. You're not gonna see me with twenty
Speaker 1: people doing this. Never just don't post it. And if
Speaker 1: someone says, oh my god, you didn't, if they do,
Speaker 1: fight out, I just played dumb. Oh my god, I
Speaker 1: didn't call you. I thought I left your message. Oh
Speaker 1: I like that.
Speaker 3: I'm realizing that I do that with a specific group
Speaker 3: of friends as well. We call it silent disco, like
Speaker 3: IM come over tonight, blah, blah blah, and my friend
Speaker 3: will literally say, is it silent disco? I'm like, yes,
Speaker 3: you know, it's giving, it's giving cold, but yes, it's
Speaker 3: very much a well oiled machine. It's a nice method.
Speaker 3: But this is with a specific group that knows what's up,
Speaker 3: you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: Okay, So that seems to be what to do. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: tell these.
Speaker 3: Our friend, our sister court friend. If she's buying the
Speaker 3: expensive stuff and like, you know, treating her friends. I
Speaker 3: feel like she might want people to know that she
Speaker 3: is like this. It seems like she likes the instagrammable things,
Speaker 3: so that might not be easy for her to say,
Speaker 3: don't post about it, because sometimes throwing a party like
Speaker 3: this is for the sake of the post. So I
Speaker 3: don't know, it's just tough. Oh you know what I've done. Unfortunately,
Speaker 3: because we all have, you know, a sliver of being
Speaker 3: a piece of shit, I will sometimes strategize when that
Speaker 3: person won't be in.
Speaker 1: Town, smart, smart, he whatever. Work.
Speaker 3: Sometimes it's just the curation of vibes, and like, that's what.
Speaker 1: People don't get, is I'm trying to achieve a certain
Speaker 1: vibe peak vibrations. Honey, Yes, but I'm after.
Speaker 3: Some people bring the team down.
Speaker 1: Honey, you know there's a whole combination. You can't have
Speaker 1: Susie and Michael in the same mom, you can.
Speaker 3: Because Susie and Michael have a mutual enemy. Okay, and it's.
Speaker 1: Me, that's right. I don't invite. Don't invite Sherry.
Speaker 3: Stay home alone. You will never go wrong.
Speaker 1: Scherry's advice is get rid of your social life. Guys,
Speaker 1: we also think you should get rid of your social life.
Speaker 1: Just sit around listening to the Amber and Lacey, Lacy
Speaker 1: and Amber Show. Today's guest is Sherry Cola and you
Speaker 1: can see her everywhere you look. Fucking Good Trouble, fucking
Speaker 1: I Love Dick, Oh my god.
Speaker 3: Clearly we all were just looking it up because that
Speaker 3: was my first spread it ever in twenty seventeen. Catherine Hahn,
Speaker 3: Kevin Bacon, what a dream, Joey's all away? Uh, And
Speaker 3: that was my first job on TV for real, for real.
Speaker 3: It was a guest star and it was so much fun.
Speaker 3: But yeah, evolved a lot since then. Good Trouble, what
Speaker 3: a blessing. Five seasons, six years, Yes, God, chapters.
Speaker 1: And that's that's America, guys. You can go from I
Speaker 1: Love dick to good trouble and.
Speaker 3: That doesn't sum it up.
Speaker 1: T shirts, T shirts funny, that's T shirts.
Speaker 3: No, those are hats.
Speaker 1: We're committing Oh my god, tapped about them? Puscatarian Way. Hey, everybody, bumper,
Speaker 1: thanks for tuning into the Amber and Lacey Lacy amer Show.
Speaker 1: You can follow Sherry Cola online across all platforms. Buy
Speaker 1: me on the internet at Sherry Cola. I imagine threats what.
Speaker 3: The internet?
Speaker 1: Find me on the internet? PARENTHESI is a threat? Is
Speaker 1: also a tea shirt? I'm so sorry you say is
Speaker 1: so T shirt?
Speaker 3: Out of my mouth is a potential tattoo. I don't
Speaker 3: know how else to say it.
Speaker 1: I am gonna talk to you about tattoos the next
Speaker 1: time you come on the show, and we're also going
Speaker 1: to get joke tattoos. I am at Amber Roff and
Speaker 1: across our platforms, Lacey, were you across? I'm at Lacy
Speaker 1: Lamar one. Why why is the one there? I have
Speaker 1: no idea, Amber, because Lacey got the first Lacy Lamar
Speaker 1: and then forgot how to get into it.
Speaker 3: Can't get into it no way, you know, like we
Speaker 3: forget our password, will use the same thing, but then
Speaker 3: add something and the next time not great or we
Speaker 3: like name documents. Wait, I also am Sherry Cola without
Speaker 3: the E because unfortunately, some blonde lady who's rib it
Speaker 3: and who knows where of America has Sherry Cola with
Speaker 3: the E. So I'm rocking s h R R y
Speaker 3: co l A and it keeps me humble. It really
Speaker 3: like it?
Speaker 1: It does? I like that?
Speaker 3: Really does?
Speaker 1: We don't take E well? I do. Hey, everybody, That's
Speaker 1: it for the Ember, Lacy, Lacy and Amber Show.
Speaker 3: We Love you, Goodbye where you went from bokemon to
Speaker 3: MBMA And I didn't even know this was goodbye? Oh
Speaker 3: my god, I'm edging, I've I love you Why.
Speaker 1: The Amber and Lacey Lacy and Amber Show is a
Speaker 1: production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeartRadio podcast.
Speaker 1: It's created and hosted by Amber Ruffin and Lacy Lamar.
Speaker 1: Executive produced by Noah Avoar and Hans Sonni, super produced
Speaker 1: by Becca Ramos. Because She's a Superhero co produced by
Speaker 1: Victor Wright, Edited and mixed by Ty Herd. Music by
Speaker 1: David schmol passssssssssssssssssss