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Speaker 1: I've been meaning to get to this for a couple

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Speaker 1: of weeks. We have a little bit of time, Klin. Yes,

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Speaker 1: you had said something in passing, and I just like,

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Speaker 1: don't tell me anymore because I want to hear about

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Speaker 1: this about a gentleman that you barely know, that one

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Speaker 1: that is trying to get you to travel with him,

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Speaker 1: travel to him. Yeah, okay, one of the terms. Can

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Speaker 1: you set this up please? I need to understand that.

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Speaker 2: The terms.

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Speaker 1: I need to understand, like how this happened. Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: mean I need I need everything.

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Speaker 2: Okay, so this is Oh.

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Speaker 1: Let me get Chris Hansen in here it Can you

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Speaker 1: refresh the page to oh I got to profession? Well

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Speaker 1: I didn't. I didn't refresh the page. Oh, there's a

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Speaker 1: lot of soundboards here. There's all kinds of fun stuff here.

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Speaker 1: Hold on, I'm Chris Hansen. Yeah, there you go. So

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Speaker 1: Chris Hansen's here. Did he say anything else? Man?

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Speaker 2: That's all he says. Hold on a second. Control that's

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Speaker 2: terribly sexy.

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Speaker 1: I can tell you ever watched date Line? That's what

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Speaker 1: I really wanted to get to before you tell me story.

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Speaker 1: Have you ever watched Dateline? Because this sounds like a

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Speaker 1: dateline episode, waiting to have it, but please take it away.

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Speaker 3: I know I need your guys advice, advice.

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Speaker 2: Is this a bad idea or not? So I'm gonna

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Speaker 2: say yes, I haven't heard the story, but go ahead,

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Speaker 2: but content, think of the content.

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Speaker 3: So a friend of a friend was in town. He

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Speaker 3: does not live here, and we went out as a

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Speaker 3: group and we were kind of heading it off, like

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Speaker 3: flirting a little bit. And since then we've been talking

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Speaker 3: like a decent amount and flirting a decent amount. And

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Speaker 3: one day he invited me to come where he lives

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Speaker 3: and stay with him. And it's a nice place. So

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Speaker 3: I kind of was considering it. But also, would you

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Speaker 3: travel and stay with someone that you've spent just one

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Speaker 3: time face to face with?

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Speaker 2: What are the terms?

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Speaker 1: And people aren't gonna like this, but I gotta understand,

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Speaker 1: like they may not like my assessment of this, but

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Speaker 1: I'm going to keep it one hundred.

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Speaker 2: Is the kids say, is he paying for this trip? Yeah?

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Speaker 2: I would assume, So yeah you would assume. So well

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Speaker 2: we haven't. I haven't said yes because I needed your

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Speaker 2: raiss advice.

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Speaker 1: But if he says yes, then you're your expectation and

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Speaker 1: I'm just just you know, there's no judgment here. Your

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Speaker 1: expectation would be the ticket comes from him, all travel

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Speaker 1: related expenses come from him, and you stay with him.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it would be to stay with him. I don't

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Speaker 3: know that I would expect that, but I think like

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Speaker 3: the way that he asked it, that's like, what would happen?

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Speaker 2: Would you still go?

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Speaker 1: If he's like cool, just let me know when you're

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Speaker 1: showing up, like as if he didn't expect to pay.

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Speaker 3: If I'm gonna get crap for this, but if you're

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Speaker 3: inviting me to travel to stay.

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Speaker 2: With you, I expect a plane ticket. I'm sorry.

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Speaker 1: And you met the guy once and did anything physical

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Speaker 1: happen that one time? Nope? And so but you wouldn't

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Speaker 1: have any problem having only met him once and then

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Speaker 1: going to stay in his home.

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Speaker 4: That's like I've.

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Speaker 3: Never done that before. So that's like, I guess more

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Speaker 3: of the discussion for me is like I don't know,

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Speaker 3: you know, am I gonna brush my teeth? And like

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Speaker 3: you're there, like I have never done that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, because this is his house, I would assume his.

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Speaker 3: Tata are we gonna I don't think he's leaving.

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Speaker 2: I don't think he's going to go stay in a

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Speaker 2: hotel if he does.

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Speaker 3: That situation to be there, Okay, this changes everything.

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Speaker 1: And by the way, absolutely zero judgment because I've been

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Speaker 1: on all sides of this. I've flown for it. I've

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Speaker 1: I've had people fly to me for it. I've you know,

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Speaker 1: I've been single over twenty something years. Absolutely zero judgment

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Speaker 1: for this. But I gotta say, is there not an

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Speaker 1: eight five, five, five, nine, one on three five call

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Speaker 1: and you know whatever? Tell me if I'm running Judge Hill,

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Speaker 1: I don't see. I don't think it's necessarily dangerous to

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Speaker 1: do this, especially because you've got credibility from your friends. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you know, because it's not like this guy's on the

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Speaker 1: internet or something. You know, somebody you know knows him,

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Speaker 1: and so you know, it's all checked out. But is

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Speaker 1: there not something in the back of your mind that's

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Speaker 1: like you don't ever have to do anything for anybody.

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Speaker 1: But isn't that sort of what this is about in

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Speaker 1: some way? In additionally getting to know you? Yeah, you're

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Speaker 1: gonna stay in he's bad. Yeah, and he's going to

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Speaker 1: stay into bad.

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Speaker 3: Oh, he's gonna be there. Okay, Yeah, No, I mean

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Speaker 3: I think, well, okay, so First of all, I feel

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Speaker 3: like I'm in like a living life phase, Like I'm

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Speaker 3: doing stuff that I've never done.

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Speaker 5: I'm out.

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Speaker 3: I never have really been like single, So like I'm

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Speaker 3: loving it, and I can understand where you're coming from.

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Speaker 2: But like, I'm.

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Speaker 3: Attracted to him, and I feel like even if he

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Speaker 3: were to live here and just take me out on

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Speaker 3: a date, like things are going that way. We just

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Speaker 3: probably haven't made out yet because he doesn't live here,

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Speaker 3: you know what I mean. Like I'm attracted to him,

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Speaker 3: We flirt, things are flirty. I obviously things would need

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Speaker 3: to be like vibing in the right way for me

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Speaker 3: to decide that, and obviously the woman is in control

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Speaker 3: of that. But I feel comfortable that I probably would

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Speaker 3: want to make out a little bit.

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Speaker 2: You don't.

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Speaker 1: I want to be very very clear because people will

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Speaker 1: not hear this the first time. As a woman or

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Speaker 1: a man or whatever, you have no obligation to anyone

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Speaker 1: to do anything, regardless of what they've done for you.

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Speaker 2: I want to be very very clear about this.

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Speaker 1: But my advice, my thought on this, yeah is is

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Speaker 1: because I've been on the other side of this, tell

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Speaker 1: him I would like to see you again combat here.

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Speaker 1: And if you're willing for him to stay somewhere, say

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Speaker 1: you can stay with me. We'll do a weekend where

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Speaker 1: you and I just hang out on my turf. Because

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Speaker 1: that way, because there's a lot you don't know, Like

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Speaker 1: you think it's gonna go great. But let's say in

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Speaker 1: the first hour the guy says something outrageous and you're like,

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Speaker 1: I am stuck here for three days, you know what

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Speaker 1: I mean, Like there's no getting out of this.

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Speaker 2: I feel like at least if he's on.

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Speaker 1: Your or at least they come stay here and stay

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Speaker 1: in a hotel, and I'll stay with you in the hotel

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Speaker 1: and we'll hang out. I'll have a great weekend. We'll

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Speaker 1: do like a I don't know, like a staycation kind

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Speaker 1: of thing. At least that way you got an out.

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Speaker 1: Because not that you can't just go to the airport

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Speaker 1: and buy a ticket, but that's not you don't want

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Speaker 1: to have to do that. You're probably gonna feel obligated

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Speaker 1: to stay. Yeah, and then you have no you have

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Speaker 1: no way, you have no leverage, you have no way out.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I hear you.

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Speaker 3: I just feel like we've talked enough that I feel

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Speaker 3: like there wouldn't be like a ton of shocking things.

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Speaker 3: I guess said you never really know, but I mean

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Speaker 3: we talk on the phone, we text, but I just.

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Speaker 1: Think once you're in person, it's and again like, I

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Speaker 1: don't know, what do you have to take a big poop?

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Speaker 1: You have take a big poop? What he takes the

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Speaker 1: most mass? And it's like you're so disgusted. What if

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Speaker 1: you see his living environment and you're like.

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Speaker 5: Because in his living environment, yeah, I want to be.

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Speaker 2: I don't know, you don't really know rich. I don't.

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Speaker 2: I wouldn't say rich.

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Speaker 3: I mean he lives in a nice place that I

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Speaker 3: would like to travel to, and he's well off, and okay,

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Speaker 3: you know, I mean.

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Speaker 1: Okay, well here comes Rusty Rusty. What are you gonna say?

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Speaker 1: Go ahead, what's your Rusty Dusty.

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Speaker 6: This might be a controversial opinion, but I would say,

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Speaker 6: if you do.

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Speaker 7: Go, if you want to go, buy your own plane ticket.

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Speaker 6: If they were saying buy your own everything, don't even

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Speaker 6: give him the option to hold that over your head.

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Speaker 7: I'm kind of on the age. I mean, I know

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Speaker 7: this is gonna be a controversial opinion, but you know,

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Speaker 7: if someone's spending or dropping that much money for you,

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Speaker 7: you know, for this trip, and they're gonna be expecting something.

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Speaker 6: No, I'm not saying you owe him anything.

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Speaker 7: You're can obviously say no. However, like Bud just says, first.

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Speaker 6: Day, you know, you deny it, you know things are

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Speaker 6: going in. Then things might start going south, and then

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Speaker 6: you know, the whole frist is kind of sour. I'm

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Speaker 6: not saying it's just right or op thing you don't

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Speaker 6: own me. I'm just saying it's definitely a recipe for it.

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Speaker 2: I think there's an expectation.

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Speaker 1: I think, whether whether you hear or anyone wants to

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Speaker 1: acknowledge it or not, there's an expectation.

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Speaker 2: And it's not that you aren't willing to. But let's

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Speaker 2: just say you do or you don't. I don't know.

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Speaker 2: There's just a lot of parameters.

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Speaker 1: There's a lot we don't know, okay, And I like

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Speaker 1: I like you to have all the power. I don't

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Speaker 1: like anyone else to have all the power. And I

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Speaker 1: would say the same thing to somebody that I feel

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Speaker 1: more comfortable if someone has some skin in the game

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Speaker 1: on there and too when I hang out with them,

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Speaker 1: because that way there's no weird feeling, there's no well,

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Speaker 1: I felt like I had to stay because you paid

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Speaker 1: for something or I did you know. I don't know that.

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Speaker 1: It's just if you if you want your space and

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Speaker 1: you want to get out and go, then you have

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Speaker 1: the option. If you don't, and then once you said

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Speaker 1: that that initial meeting is over, then you I think

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Speaker 1: there's a lot more to work quit you. You can

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Speaker 1: have a lot There's a lot more you know, uh.

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Speaker 2: To hold anything over. Right, But that also works both ways.

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Speaker 5: If he if she's like, you got to come to me,

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Speaker 5: he'll be like, well, I flew all the way out here,

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Speaker 5: you know.

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Speaker 2: What I'm saying.

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Speaker 3: Well, also we have hung out in person.

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Speaker 2: Said that. Okay, yeah, I got you.

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Speaker 6: We can to hang out just this friend. I can

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Speaker 6: go fly to Denver to hang out with my lady friend,

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Speaker 6: just as the putonic friend. Okay, I don't have to

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Speaker 6: expect anything.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, Rusty man, he said, he's friends. Yeah, he said,

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Speaker 1: but thirty five thousand. Maybe he's on his way to

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Speaker 1: Denver right now. Yeah, that's exactly. He's got executive status

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Speaker 1: at the airport.

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Speaker 2: Hey man, my.

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Speaker 1: Man, thank you, Rusty. Have fun in Denver. See you dude,

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Speaker 1: you're the man.

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Speaker 2: I love that name.

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Speaker 3: I don't know Okay, so your vote is have him

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Speaker 3: come to me. What is everyone else's vote?

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Speaker 5: Girl, living life, girl, everything, girl, I don't want mad,

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Speaker 5: have fun, funny, eat his next thank you? Yeah one,

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Speaker 5: and you're good to go.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, leave something behind when you leave. Yeah, someone always always.

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Speaker 1: I want you to have all the control. Hey, Valerie, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: well I don't mind. Never mind that.

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Speaker 2: Either leave it.

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Speaker 1: And all the men listening now are like, Fred, what

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Speaker 1: do you What kind of advice is this?

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Speaker 2: Leave him wanting more?

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Speaker 1: I don't have a problem with that. Either, make it

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Speaker 1: work for it a little bit. Look, here's I want

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Speaker 1: to get to Valerie quickly. But I don't believe in

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Speaker 1: the whole thing where it's like if I meet a

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Speaker 1: woman that she needs to make me take her on

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Speaker 1: three dates before we do anything because I have to

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Speaker 1: earn it because I want.

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Speaker 2: I don't.

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Speaker 1: I don't agree with the rule that a man will

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Speaker 1: inherently not respect a woman who gives it up whatever.

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Speaker 1: I don't think there's one size fits all. Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: think there are situations where it's where I don't. I

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Speaker 1: think there are situations where I do. I mean, I've

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Speaker 1: dated people for six months. We slept together on the

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Speaker 1: first night. I dated people for six months. We slept

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Speaker 1: together after a month.

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Speaker 4: Yea.

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Speaker 1: So this whole thing where like I'm definitely not doing

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Speaker 1: this or definitely not doing that. I don't buy all that,

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Speaker 1: but I don't have a problem with a little bit

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Speaker 1: of sexual tension. And also to see is this dude

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Speaker 1: really interested in you or is he just interested in

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Speaker 1: a quick bang bang because you're hot.

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Speaker 3: We have been talking for months, like it's been like

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Speaker 3: three to four months, so like there has there was

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Speaker 3: time in between him like trying to see me again.

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Speaker 1: Big difference in phone and texting and actually hanging out

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Speaker 1: one on one in person. In my opinion, it takes

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Speaker 1: a lot. It takes a lot more effort. You can

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Speaker 1: juggle a lot of things when you're talking to somebody

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Speaker 1: off phone texting.

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Speaker 2: I can be doing two, three, four at a time. People,

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, for sure.

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Speaker 3: But I'm saying like, don't people don't like especially dude,

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Speaker 3: wouldn't you lose interest in talking to someone that doesn't

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Speaker 3: live in the same city, Like.

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Speaker 2: Do you have? No? It's exciting, it's exciting.

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Speaker 1: It's exciting because the meeting happens, But then what happens

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Speaker 1: is you build it up and it's either great or

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Speaker 1: it's not, and then it all ends right there. Sometimes

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Speaker 1: Hey Valerie, Yes, good morning.

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Speaker 4: Love you guys.

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Speaker 2: Valerie, love you too. You get the final say what

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Speaker 2: do you think.

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Speaker 4: You need to go? Because you'll always wonder if you didn't.

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Speaker 4: You need to go. My parents met my past lived

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Speaker 4: in New York and they met. He here to Illinois,

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Speaker 4: and she was terrified and she did it anyway, but

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Speaker 4: her friends knew where she was. She was safe.

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Speaker 7: I think you should do it.

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Speaker 4: I think you'll regret it if you don't.

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Speaker 3: Okay, I share my location with you.

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Speaker 2: Valerie. Yeah you watch me. Yeah, okay, I will, She says,

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Speaker 2: you say you're looking for hot sex. All right, thank you, Valerie.

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Speaker 2: Have a good day. He just called in. Actually this

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Speaker 2: is him. It will be nice. I think you will

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Speaker 2: love it. It sounds convincing. Do it more Fred Show

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Speaker 2: Next