1
00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:01,480
Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam, this is John.

2
00:00:01,560 --> 00:00:05,240
Speaker 2: We're the ancient two case Storytime podcast hosts, and we

3
00:00:05,280 --> 00:00:07,760
Speaker 2: have some ancient wisdom in the stories coming up. If

4
00:00:07,800 --> 00:00:10,320
Speaker 2: you want to hear the wisdom from two old heads

5
00:00:10,360 --> 00:00:12,040
Speaker 2: that know more than they know what to do with,

6
00:00:12,240 --> 00:00:14,560
Speaker 2: you're go'da have to wait for a quick message from

7
00:00:14,560 --> 00:00:17,120
Speaker 2: our sponsors for the next two minutes or so.

8
00:00:17,200 --> 00:00:19,320
Speaker 1: My family abandoned the affair.

9
00:00:19,400 --> 00:00:21,400
Speaker 3: Baby it's just a little baby.

10
00:00:21,640 --> 00:00:24,880
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I thirty five male, was at home with

11
00:00:24,920 --> 00:00:28,200
Speaker 1: my parents helping out with something. Mom and dad sixty

12
00:00:28,200 --> 00:00:30,800
Speaker 1: four male, were out when the doorbell rang. I opened

13
00:00:30,880 --> 00:00:34,960
Speaker 1: up and saw this really nervous woman twenty female standing there,

14
00:00:35,479 --> 00:00:38,920
Speaker 1: asking if my dad's name lived there. I said, yes,

15
00:00:39,360 --> 00:00:43,000
Speaker 1: he does, that's my dad, and she got even more nervous.

16
00:00:43,200 --> 00:00:45,279
Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from throw A twenty eight

17
00:00:45,280 --> 00:00:47,239
Speaker 1: twenty eight thirty two oh three to three, and if

18
00:00:47,240 --> 00:00:48,680
Speaker 1: you want to sumit your own stories, go to the

19
00:00:48,760 --> 00:00:52,319
Speaker 1: r slash Okay, Storytime separate it. So I asked if

20
00:00:52,320 --> 00:00:55,320
Speaker 1: she was okay. She was really nervous. Then I got

21
00:00:55,320 --> 00:00:57,840
Speaker 1: nervous and asked if something had happened to my uncle.

22
00:00:58,120 --> 00:00:59,720
Speaker 1: He had been ill for a while, and I thought

23
00:00:59,760 --> 00:01:03,000
Speaker 1: maybe she was a nurse or something, and she said, no,

24
00:01:03,720 --> 00:01:06,600
Speaker 1: it's not about that. I don't know why, but I

25
00:01:06,640 --> 00:01:08,960
Speaker 1: told her she could come in and wait since they

26
00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:12,080
Speaker 1: were due back in twenty minutes. She said yes and

27
00:01:12,200 --> 00:01:15,200
Speaker 1: asked if I could get her anything. He just said water.

28
00:01:16,040 --> 00:01:18,679
Speaker 1: I was really intrigued and wondered why she was so

29
00:01:18,800 --> 00:01:21,960
Speaker 1: nervous and why she wanted to see my dad. We

30
00:01:22,080 --> 00:01:24,640
Speaker 1: chitchatted for a bit and I heard the car pull up,

31
00:01:24,959 --> 00:01:27,480
Speaker 1: but Mom had apparently stayed behind with my aunt to

32
00:01:27,520 --> 00:01:30,360
Speaker 1: do something, and my dad came alone, which I would

33
00:01:30,360 --> 00:01:34,240
Speaker 1: be very thankful for. Within the next ten minutes, Dad

34
00:01:34,280 --> 00:01:38,319
Speaker 1: walked in and said, oh, am, I interrupting something. I said, no,

35
00:01:39,120 --> 00:01:42,080
Speaker 1: she's here to see you. Apparently, I told her she

36
00:01:42,080 --> 00:01:45,400
Speaker 1: could wait inside until you came home. My dad, being

37
00:01:45,440 --> 00:01:47,480
Speaker 1: the upbeat guy that he is, just asked what he

38
00:01:47,520 --> 00:01:50,840
Speaker 1: could do for and shook her hand. She introduced herself

39
00:01:50,840 --> 00:01:52,800
Speaker 1: and then asked if he knew a woman by the

40
00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:56,640
Speaker 1: name of Laura made up name. My dad rose. Then

41
00:01:56,800 --> 00:02:00,000
Speaker 1: she said, I think you may be my father.

42
00:02:00,400 --> 00:02:02,800
Speaker 3: WHOA, that's out of no way.

43
00:02:03,720 --> 00:02:06,320
Speaker 1: She just showed up. He had no clue.

44
00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:08,079
Speaker 3: How did she know where you lived?

45
00:02:08,440 --> 00:02:12,440
Speaker 1: Whoa. She probably did a little bit of research.

46
00:02:12,600 --> 00:02:16,880
Speaker 3: You know, the old the old fashion with the yellow book.

47
00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:19,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, the yellow book, the yellow pages, yellow pages all that.

48
00:02:20,560 --> 00:02:23,880
Speaker 1: Dad sat down and looked at her. You're Laura's daughter,

49
00:02:24,400 --> 00:02:26,760
Speaker 1: She said, yes, and her mom had admitted to her

50
00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:30,320
Speaker 1: father that she was not his biological daughter and that

51
00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:33,560
Speaker 1: she was born as a result of an affair twenty

52
00:02:33,600 --> 00:02:36,639
Speaker 1: one years ago. I expected my dad to deny everything,

53
00:02:36,680 --> 00:02:40,080
Speaker 1: but he just went, oh, my god, Laura got pregnant

54
00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:41,040
Speaker 1: in check in.

55
00:02:41,280 --> 00:02:43,560
Speaker 3: Come on, man, yeah, yeah, you had an affair. And

56
00:02:43,560 --> 00:02:46,400
Speaker 3: then you're like, all right, by yeah, there's no consequences

57
00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:46,640
Speaker 3: to that.

58
00:02:47,320 --> 00:02:50,600
Speaker 1: No. He looked shell shocked. The woman then explained that

59
00:02:50,639 --> 00:02:53,519
Speaker 1: her mother had told her that dad. My dad could

60
00:02:53,600 --> 00:02:55,720
Speaker 1: not have known about it since she never told him.

61
00:02:55,760 --> 00:02:58,600
Speaker 1: Her parents' marriage had gone to hell apparently, and her dad,

62
00:02:58,639 --> 00:03:01,560
Speaker 1: who raised her, wants to divorce her mom after finding

63
00:03:01,600 --> 00:03:05,800
Speaker 1: out her entire life had exploded. Her parents had not

64
00:03:05,960 --> 00:03:08,359
Speaker 1: dealt with this well. My dad did not deny it

65
00:03:08,400 --> 00:03:11,440
Speaker 1: and said the timeline fit. Her mom had also said

66
00:03:11,440 --> 00:03:13,720
Speaker 1: that she had not been with anyone else besides my

67
00:03:13,840 --> 00:03:16,680
Speaker 1: dad and her husband. Paternity test taken the next day

68
00:03:16,680 --> 00:03:19,360
Speaker 1: would prove that she was indeed Dad's daughter. She had

69
00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:22,200
Speaker 1: two sisters as well, who were her dad's biological daughters.

70
00:03:22,280 --> 00:03:26,200
Speaker 1: After her dad demanded a paternity test. I was sitting

71
00:03:26,200 --> 00:03:29,280
Speaker 1: there in silence, just staring at Dad. I had been

72
00:03:29,320 --> 00:03:32,960
Speaker 1: an only child all my life, and now this woman's

73
00:03:32,919 --> 00:03:35,600
Speaker 1: sitting across from me at the table is my half sister,

74
00:03:36,160 --> 00:03:36,800
Speaker 1: little sister.

75
00:03:37,080 --> 00:03:37,560
Speaker 3: No less.

76
00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:42,080
Speaker 1: I knew this meant that Dad had cheated on Mom ooh,

77
00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:45,920
Speaker 1: which angered me, but I still felt so bad for

78
00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:48,680
Speaker 1: this poor woman and just told Dad I think we

79
00:03:48,760 --> 00:03:51,839
Speaker 1: better finish this conversation at my place before Mom gets here.

80
00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:55,040
Speaker 1: I said to Dad, you are going to tell Mom

81
00:03:55,080 --> 00:03:58,160
Speaker 1: about this, but not with her here. Yeah, don't like

82
00:03:58,440 --> 00:04:01,880
Speaker 1: surprise her with your a fair baby when you're like, yeah,

83
00:04:01,920 --> 00:04:02,920
Speaker 1: so I cheated on you.

84
00:04:03,720 --> 00:04:09,640
Speaker 3: Proof we have family. Yeah, she has half of my looks.

85
00:04:09,360 --> 00:04:13,200
Speaker 1: And none of yours. Whoops, I'd cheated on you. Oh wow.

86
00:04:13,240 --> 00:04:15,880
Speaker 1: That is a lot to take in. And poor Ope's

87
00:04:15,920 --> 00:04:17,039
Speaker 1: just like yeah.

88
00:04:16,920 --> 00:04:21,279
Speaker 3: Can you imagine, like wow, yeah, like new half sister.

89
00:04:21,680 --> 00:04:24,960
Speaker 3: Dad cheated on Mom. Yeah, And I just wanted to

90
00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:28,080
Speaker 3: have like lunch. Yeah, and I just I just got here,

91
00:04:28,120 --> 00:04:30,400
Speaker 3: like I just got here. I just got home. Home alone.

92
00:04:30,440 --> 00:04:32,000
Speaker 3: I was like, Oh, this is great. I'm gonna have

93
00:04:32,080 --> 00:04:32,880
Speaker 3: like a sandwich.

94
00:04:33,800 --> 00:04:36,359
Speaker 1: Oh well, I was worried how my mom would react

95
00:04:36,360 --> 00:04:39,240
Speaker 1: to my little sister and did not want all hell

96
00:04:39,360 --> 00:04:42,280
Speaker 1: to break loose. They both agreed, and I told her

97
00:04:42,279 --> 00:04:44,200
Speaker 1: that she could stay at my place if she needed

98
00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:47,919
Speaker 1: somewhere to stay. How kind. Wow. I got in my

99
00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:50,440
Speaker 1: car and drove her to my place. She had traveled

100
00:04:50,480 --> 00:04:52,440
Speaker 1: quite a while by train and she lived on the

101
00:04:52,440 --> 00:04:55,360
Speaker 1: other side of the country. Meanwhile, my dad had told

102
00:04:55,400 --> 00:05:02,000
Speaker 1: my mom and admitted to everything. My mom was not happy, Yeah,

103
00:05:02,040 --> 00:05:04,560
Speaker 1: but she was actually more concerned for my half sister

104
00:05:04,640 --> 00:05:08,360
Speaker 1: and her family and all of this, and she told ordered,

105
00:05:08,480 --> 00:05:12,159
Speaker 1: most likely dad to take responsibility for this poor girl.

106
00:05:12,720 --> 00:05:15,720
Speaker 1: My dad just said yes. Dad and Mom came over

107
00:05:15,760 --> 00:05:18,159
Speaker 1: to my place and my half sister woke up. She

108
00:05:18,200 --> 00:05:20,960
Speaker 1: had been resting on my couch. I had never been

109
00:05:21,040 --> 00:05:24,120
Speaker 1: more scared to see my mom in my life. Mom

110
00:05:24,200 --> 00:05:26,200
Speaker 1: came in, just winked at me and kissed me on

111
00:05:26,240 --> 00:05:30,000
Speaker 1: the cheeks. She's taking this super well. My dad looked

112
00:05:30,040 --> 00:05:32,479
Speaker 1: like he had just had the biggest dressing down of

113
00:05:32,520 --> 00:05:36,000
Speaker 1: his life. Mom introduced herself to my half sister and

114
00:05:36,040 --> 00:05:38,839
Speaker 1: to my relief Mom was not upset with her at all.

115
00:05:38,960 --> 00:05:41,640
Speaker 1: This mom sounds great. I mean, why did he cheat

116
00:05:41,680 --> 00:05:44,360
Speaker 1: on her? Not that anyone should be cheated on, but

117
00:05:44,400 --> 00:05:45,279
Speaker 1: she sounds awesome.

118
00:05:45,480 --> 00:05:48,240
Speaker 3: Well, it's one of those things you're like, there's no

119
00:05:48,320 --> 00:05:50,960
Speaker 3: point of getting upset now, I guess, I guess.

120
00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:52,560
Speaker 1: So she totally would be in the.

121
00:05:52,600 --> 00:05:54,480
Speaker 3: Right if she No. No, she's one hundred percent allowed

122
00:05:54,480 --> 00:05:56,920
Speaker 3: to be. But like, what is going to be yelling

123
00:05:56,960 --> 00:05:59,760
Speaker 3: and like throwing things and pointing the finger gonna do?

124
00:05:59,839 --> 00:06:03,120
Speaker 3: Now it's happened, it has happened twenty one years later.

125
00:06:03,360 --> 00:06:05,000
Speaker 1: She just seems so chill about this.

126
00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:06,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's crazy.

127
00:06:06,480 --> 00:06:09,120
Speaker 1: My mom seemed more curious than anything else, and they

128
00:06:09,120 --> 00:06:11,799
Speaker 1: had a lot in common. Apparently, me and my dad

129
00:06:11,839 --> 00:06:16,000
Speaker 1: were confined to the kitchen during that conversation. Yes, my apartment,

130
00:06:16,120 --> 00:06:18,719
Speaker 1: but I did not want to argue with mom. Now.

131
00:06:19,320 --> 00:06:22,200
Speaker 1: My mom walked out twenty minutes later and just said

132
00:06:22,920 --> 00:06:27,160
Speaker 1: she's a lovely girl. She's so chill about this. Mom

133
00:06:27,200 --> 00:06:30,400
Speaker 1: and dad are not separating. My dad was relieved. Mom

134
00:06:30,400 --> 00:06:32,479
Speaker 1: had said to Dad, I'm too old to start dating,

135
00:06:32,520 --> 00:06:33,680
Speaker 1: and you're stuck with me now.

136
00:06:33,720 --> 00:06:36,320
Speaker 3: Regardless, Mom's got jokes moms.

137
00:06:36,520 --> 00:06:39,599
Speaker 1: She's like, yeah, you cheated on me, but I guess

138
00:06:39,640 --> 00:06:40,600
Speaker 1: I'm cool with it.

139
00:06:40,880 --> 00:06:44,159
Speaker 3: Mom's chill auf. She's just like, all right, this is

140
00:06:44,200 --> 00:06:45,720
Speaker 3: life now, Okay.

141
00:06:45,360 --> 00:06:48,680
Speaker 1: Then girl, whatever floats your boat. Dad was relieved, and

142
00:06:48,720 --> 00:06:51,160
Speaker 1: Mom had demanded to know if there were others, and

143
00:06:51,200 --> 00:06:54,080
Speaker 1: my dad said no, not that he would know. Didn't

144
00:06:54,120 --> 00:06:55,839
Speaker 1: know about this one for twenty years.

145
00:06:56,040 --> 00:06:57,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, whoops.

146
00:06:57,160 --> 00:06:59,400
Speaker 1: Dad and I had been talking quite a lot. I'm

147
00:06:59,440 --> 00:07:02,599
Speaker 1: still aying with him for cheating. He knows that, but

148
00:07:02,680 --> 00:07:04,359
Speaker 1: he said if he's gonna spend the rest of his

149
00:07:04,400 --> 00:07:07,080
Speaker 1: life making it up to Mom, he would. My dad

150
00:07:07,120 --> 00:07:10,280
Speaker 1: also has answered every question my have sister asked of him,

151
00:07:10,320 --> 00:07:13,000
Speaker 1: and she I guess he's trying to find out who

152
00:07:13,040 --> 00:07:15,880
Speaker 1: she is. She loves her dad, who raised her, and

153
00:07:15,920 --> 00:07:18,280
Speaker 1: she told my dad she could never call him dad.

154
00:07:18,880 --> 00:07:22,200
Speaker 1: She loved her dad, and my dad understood that. She however,

155
00:07:22,280 --> 00:07:24,640
Speaker 1: asked if I was okay with her telling her friends

156
00:07:24,640 --> 00:07:27,520
Speaker 1: she had a brother. I said, that's fine. Not sure

157
00:07:27,560 --> 00:07:29,440
Speaker 1: why I was so accepting of this, but I just

158
00:07:29,480 --> 00:07:32,240
Speaker 1: felt like making sure she was okay. Somehow. I had

159
00:07:32,280 --> 00:07:34,960
Speaker 1: a long conversation with Mom as well. I was worried

160
00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:37,040
Speaker 1: if she was handling this as well as she showed.

161
00:07:37,080 --> 00:07:40,200
Speaker 1: And yeah she was pissed at Dad, but she also

162
00:07:40,240 --> 00:07:43,600
Speaker 1: felt horrible for the girl and her father. Her mom,

163
00:07:43,720 --> 00:07:46,160
Speaker 1: dad's a fair partner. On the other end, she had

164
00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:49,440
Speaker 1: no sympathy for her. Uh, yeah that makes sense. Yeah,

165
00:07:49,520 --> 00:07:51,800
Speaker 1: she's not gonna have sympathy for the person that her

166
00:07:51,880 --> 00:07:52,760
Speaker 1: husband cheated with.

167
00:07:53,200 --> 00:07:56,560
Speaker 3: Yeah there's she's cool, but you're not cool. Yeah, No,

168
00:07:56,640 --> 00:07:59,480
Speaker 3: she's reasonable. Yeah makes sense. There's no there's no reason

169
00:07:59,520 --> 00:08:03,560
Speaker 3: to be mad, especially at the child. The child in

170
00:08:03,600 --> 00:08:04,040
Speaker 3: this case.

171
00:08:04,280 --> 00:08:06,480
Speaker 1: Dad has gone the extra mile for Mom these last

172
00:08:06,480 --> 00:08:10,120
Speaker 1: few days. Breakfast in bed, flowers, you name it. Mom

173
00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:12,680
Speaker 1: is probably gonna enjoy this for a while, as she should.

174
00:08:13,200 --> 00:08:15,160
Speaker 1: So yeah, that's how my last two weeks have been.

175
00:08:15,200 --> 00:08:17,880
Speaker 1: But with my dad's extended family calling me non stop

176
00:08:17,920 --> 00:08:21,240
Speaker 1: as well, all curious about her. My aunt's on my

177
00:08:21,280 --> 00:08:24,280
Speaker 1: father's side are wanting to meet their niece. Not gonna

178
00:08:24,280 --> 00:08:26,440
Speaker 1: throw that young woman to the wolves also known as

179
00:08:26,480 --> 00:08:29,880
Speaker 1: my aunt's until she has some time to absorb this herself. Hi,

180
00:08:29,920 --> 00:08:32,280
Speaker 1: for one thinks she's nice and she's my little sister.

181
00:08:32,559 --> 00:08:34,400
Speaker 1: Not how I expected this year would turn out, to

182
00:08:34,400 --> 00:08:36,599
Speaker 1: say the least, There is a little bit left to

183
00:08:36,760 --> 00:08:41,560
Speaker 1: this story. But that was the smoothest cheating story I've

184
00:08:41,800 --> 00:08:42,480
Speaker 1: ever read.

185
00:08:42,640 --> 00:08:45,120
Speaker 3: As butter, It's like a new.

186
00:08:45,080 --> 00:08:47,600
Speaker 1: Kid, cool, cheated on your wife.

187
00:08:47,840 --> 00:08:51,920
Speaker 3: She's fine, her mom sucks, and then like for her like,

188
00:08:52,280 --> 00:08:54,440
Speaker 3: welcome if you need, Welcome to the family.

189
00:08:55,400 --> 00:08:58,640
Speaker 1: Everyone like this is the chillest family out. They're all like, yeah,

190
00:08:58,679 --> 00:09:02,280
Speaker 1: we have a new affair, baby sibling, daughter, Welcome to

191
00:09:02,320 --> 00:09:02,960
Speaker 1: the family.

192
00:09:03,480 --> 00:09:05,719
Speaker 3: I mean yeah, it's She was like, this is real.

193
00:09:05,760 --> 00:09:09,800
Speaker 3: Let's be realistic here. I'm too old. We've been through

194
00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:13,079
Speaker 3: this way too long. We've been together. There's no reason

195
00:09:13,120 --> 00:09:15,679
Speaker 3: to like end it to start new lives. Let's just

196
00:09:16,880 --> 00:09:19,080
Speaker 3: you know, you owe me and the breakfast in bed

197
00:09:19,200 --> 00:09:20,400
Speaker 3: do this? Get me flowers?

198
00:09:21,040 --> 00:09:23,280
Speaker 1: Like you owe me? But it feels like he like

199
00:09:23,720 --> 00:09:26,640
Speaker 1: forgot to pay a bill rather than had a whole

200
00:09:26,920 --> 00:09:29,880
Speaker 1: Like that's what that. This is what She's like, you're

201
00:09:29,960 --> 00:09:31,600
Speaker 1: gonna be cooking from me.

202
00:09:33,559 --> 00:09:38,560
Speaker 3: You're not bad boy. But yeah, no, this is great. Yeah,

203
00:09:38,880 --> 00:09:42,480
Speaker 3: I guess everything's working out. Op. It seems like get

204
00:09:42,520 --> 00:09:45,679
Speaker 3: to know your half sister now and I have a

205
00:09:45,720 --> 00:09:48,600
Speaker 3: new sister. Yeah it's great because Op, he's been an

206
00:09:48,920 --> 00:09:52,120
Speaker 3: only child, so makes sense. He's like I have a

207
00:09:52,160 --> 00:09:53,280
Speaker 3: sister now sick.

208
00:09:53,679 --> 00:09:57,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, boys don't care how they sourced her. But there

209
00:09:57,679 --> 00:10:00,480
Speaker 1: is a little bit left to this story, Sophie says.

210
00:10:00,480 --> 00:10:04,400
Speaker 1: Opie's dad looked out. Yeah, I honestly just hope her

211
00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:07,080
Speaker 1: parents will make it through this. Her sisters are around

212
00:10:07,080 --> 00:10:09,840
Speaker 1: my age, thirty two and thirty four. She said she

213
00:10:09,840 --> 00:10:12,320
Speaker 1: had not been treated differently by them, which is a relief,

214
00:10:12,440 --> 00:10:15,120
Speaker 1: and her dad still loved her, but she needed to

215
00:10:15,120 --> 00:10:17,680
Speaker 1: meet my dad despite that, you just wanted to know.

216
00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:20,559
Speaker 1: You had hoped we were all clowns, and instead she said,

217
00:10:21,200 --> 00:10:25,240
Speaker 1: you're all nice people. Yeah, you guys are just too nice.

218
00:10:25,480 --> 00:10:28,400
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, twenty twenty one, any more surprises in store

219
00:10:28,440 --> 00:10:33,200
Speaker 1: for me? Just you adop Just Jewa comments, Uh, props

220
00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:34,920
Speaker 1: to your mom for being good to her. A lot

221
00:10:34,960 --> 00:10:36,880
Speaker 1: of women tend to be mean to the affair kids,

222
00:10:36,880 --> 00:10:39,200
Speaker 1: as if it's somehow their fault and not the person

223
00:10:39,240 --> 00:10:42,640
Speaker 1: who actually at the affair. Comment two says this kind

224
00:10:42,640 --> 00:10:45,360
Speaker 1: of situation is so much more common than we would imagine.

225
00:10:45,600 --> 00:10:48,640
Speaker 1: There are several therapists who specialize in helping families deal

226
00:10:48,760 --> 00:10:52,679
Speaker 1: with these big shifts and changes, and lots of resources,

227
00:10:52,720 --> 00:10:56,520
Speaker 1: including podcasts about it too everything's relative great one. I'm

228
00:10:56,520 --> 00:10:58,520
Speaker 1: happy to hear you and your mom seemed to be

229
00:10:58,559 --> 00:11:00,839
Speaker 1: able to accept the situation well, and I'm sure your

230
00:11:00,840 --> 00:11:03,760
Speaker 1: sister is really appreciative too. When I signed up for

231
00:11:03,800 --> 00:11:06,719
Speaker 1: the DNA databases, I secretly hoped I would find a

232
00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:10,240
Speaker 1: sibling somewhere, just because it feels so lonely being the

233
00:11:10,240 --> 00:11:13,240
Speaker 1: only person in my family who is like me, sensitive,

234
00:11:13,360 --> 00:11:16,640
Speaker 1: empathy driven. And I didn't find any siblings, but I

235
00:11:16,640 --> 00:11:20,000
Speaker 1: did find out more about my dad's biological family. He

236
00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:22,760
Speaker 1: never knew his biodad and I also didn't have him

237
00:11:22,800 --> 00:11:26,319
Speaker 1: around long enough before he died, and knowing more has

238
00:11:26,480 --> 00:11:28,920
Speaker 1: had a huge impact on my life and how I

239
00:11:28,960 --> 00:11:32,120
Speaker 1: see myself in a very positive way. I hope that

240
00:11:32,160 --> 00:11:34,320
Speaker 1: you grow to have a great relationship with your sister

241
00:11:34,440 --> 00:11:38,000
Speaker 1: and that you two stay connected. Comment three. Your family

242
00:11:38,040 --> 00:11:41,280
Speaker 1: should avoid her. She is not a part of it.

243
00:11:41,280 --> 00:11:44,959
Speaker 1: It's sad but true. It won't end well. The only

244
00:11:44,960 --> 00:11:47,040
Speaker 1: one she could have some kind of relationship with your

245
00:11:47,080 --> 00:11:49,400
Speaker 1: sor dad. You and your mom didn't sign in for

246
00:11:49,480 --> 00:11:52,720
Speaker 1: that mess? Dude, did you not read the story? Normally

247
00:11:52,760 --> 00:11:54,880
Speaker 1: I'd be like, yeah, I get what you're saying. This

248
00:11:55,040 --> 00:11:57,680
Speaker 1: family is chill they want this girl.

249
00:11:58,040 --> 00:12:02,520
Speaker 3: If the child was looking for like money or like

250
00:12:02,640 --> 00:12:06,079
Speaker 3: looking for drama or looking just like get something.

251
00:12:06,320 --> 00:12:07,240
Speaker 1: I don't even think she was.

252
00:12:07,320 --> 00:12:09,480
Speaker 3: I get I guess like having your hands a little

253
00:12:09,480 --> 00:12:12,400
Speaker 3: bit more up. But like she came like, hey, I

254
00:12:12,480 --> 00:12:14,520
Speaker 3: just found this out and I just want to see

255
00:12:14,520 --> 00:12:16,640
Speaker 3: who my real dad is. And that's that.

256
00:12:16,920 --> 00:12:20,080
Speaker 1: And then they were like, yeah, she's like I was

257
00:12:20,120 --> 00:12:21,120
Speaker 1: not expecting this.

258
00:12:21,360 --> 00:12:24,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, though she was like I was expecting clowns, literal clowns.

259
00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:26,840
Speaker 1: And three, I don't know your name.

260
00:12:27,440 --> 00:12:30,400
Speaker 3: She suck a little aggressive commentary. Three.

261
00:12:30,880 --> 00:12:34,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, but that's the bit of that story so wholesome.

262
00:12:34,480 --> 00:12:36,640
Speaker 3: That was great. That was probably one of the nicest,

263
00:12:36,679 --> 00:12:38,120
Speaker 3: like a fair stories we've.

264
00:12:37,960 --> 00:12:42,880
Speaker 1: Had, really like huge affair problem, very simple solution.

265
00:12:43,360 --> 00:12:45,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, I guess you know it's on the show when

266
00:12:45,400 --> 00:12:46,600
Speaker 3: you cut the wrapping paper.

267
00:12:46,679 --> 00:12:48,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, you just get like.

268
00:12:48,920 --> 00:12:52,520
Speaker 3: That was that was easy? Gee? Easy? Yeah.

269
00:12:52,559 --> 00:12:56,160
Speaker 1: But we've got another story, folks. Yeah, Samantha Alisa's I

270
00:12:56,240 --> 00:12:58,520
Speaker 1: want to do a DNA test. I can almost guarantee

271
00:12:58,600 --> 00:13:01,040
Speaker 1: I have half siblings out there from my dad. What

272
00:13:01,240 --> 00:13:03,480
Speaker 1: stopping you or is it just like you're like, I

273
00:13:03,480 --> 00:13:05,560
Speaker 1: want to do it, but I'm gonna uncover so.

274
00:13:05,440 --> 00:13:08,040
Speaker 3: Many secrets, secret secret tricky.

275
00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:10,719
Speaker 1: Caleb von Compen says, my mom did twenty three and

276
00:13:10,800 --> 00:13:12,560
Speaker 1: meter and found out that she was the affair kid.

277
00:13:12,760 --> 00:13:14,160
Speaker 1: She was forty two at the time.

278
00:13:14,320 --> 00:13:18,480
Speaker 3: WHOA, that's stuff better late than never, I guess. So, yeah,

279
00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:19,360
Speaker 3: is it? Did you?

280
00:13:19,440 --> 00:13:21,320
Speaker 1: Would you rather find out that you were an a

281
00:13:21,320 --> 00:13:23,080
Speaker 1: fair child or never find out?

282
00:13:23,320 --> 00:13:25,080
Speaker 3: I would want to find out, Okay, but I know

283
00:13:25,160 --> 00:13:26,000
Speaker 3: for a fact I'm not.

284
00:13:26,240 --> 00:13:28,040
Speaker 1: Yeah. Well yeah, I oh that be.

285
00:13:27,960 --> 00:13:32,720
Speaker 3: Because I was literally a mistake. Oh yes, My parents

286
00:13:32,760 --> 00:13:34,760
Speaker 3: are like, ooh, that's why you have two last names.

287
00:13:34,920 --> 00:13:36,720
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, yeah, I was a mistake.

288
00:13:36,920 --> 00:13:39,960
Speaker 1: My mother, who abandoned us, wants to reconcile.

289
00:13:40,280 --> 00:13:42,320
Speaker 3: You abandon us, No second chances.

290
00:13:42,440 --> 00:13:45,200
Speaker 1: She and my father were high school sweethearts. We lived

291
00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:47,120
Speaker 1: in a rural place that's not big enough to be

292
00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:51,080
Speaker 1: called a town, but still larger than your average village.

293
00:13:51,480 --> 00:13:54,000
Speaker 1: That what's the Is there a term for that, like hamlet?

294
00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:57,520
Speaker 1: That's not Maybe that's smaller than No, I don't anyway.

295
00:13:58,440 --> 00:14:01,880
Speaker 1: They settled into a farm life after graduating and had

296
00:14:01,880 --> 00:14:04,680
Speaker 1: my brothers seven years later. She left us when my

297
00:14:04,720 --> 00:14:06,680
Speaker 1: brother was only a month and a half old. Baby.

298
00:14:06,840 --> 00:14:09,040
Speaker 1: By the way, This comes from throw a Farmer, and

299
00:14:09,080 --> 00:14:10,760
Speaker 1: if you want to submit your own stories, go to

300
00:14:10,760 --> 00:14:13,920
Speaker 1: the r slash. Okay, story time separate it. So to

301
00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:17,320
Speaker 1: this day, I can still remember waking up to get

302
00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:20,600
Speaker 1: ready for school and finding my father on the ground,

303
00:14:20,800 --> 00:14:24,400
Speaker 1: kneeling over and crying holding one of my notebooks. I

304
00:14:24,480 --> 00:14:26,320
Speaker 1: was just a child at the time, and seeing my

305
00:14:26,400 --> 00:14:30,080
Speaker 1: father curled up like that made me cry too, And

306
00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:32,320
Speaker 1: that's when my father got a hold of his emotions

307
00:14:32,360 --> 00:14:35,240
Speaker 1: and righted himself up to pick me up. She, in

308
00:14:35,280 --> 00:14:37,840
Speaker 1: her hurry to leave, literally took a notebook from my

309
00:14:37,840 --> 00:14:41,080
Speaker 1: school bag and wrote her half but excuses for why

310
00:14:41,240 --> 00:14:45,120
Speaker 1: she was leaving us. Whoa wow.

311
00:14:45,240 --> 00:14:48,160
Speaker 3: So we start off with childhood trauma for ope.

312
00:14:48,360 --> 00:14:51,400
Speaker 1: Oh my goodnes noomenal OPI like comes home or sorry,

313
00:14:51,440 --> 00:14:55,880
Speaker 1: Opie comes downstairs or whatever? Ye seize her father? Yeah,

314
00:14:55,960 --> 00:14:59,120
Speaker 1: sobbing into a note one of her notebooks that her

315
00:14:59,160 --> 00:15:02,320
Speaker 1: mother is just written I'm leaving you with.

316
00:15:02,720 --> 00:15:05,880
Speaker 3: With like, well, we'll here see why why she's leaving,

317
00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:07,320
Speaker 3: which I want to know how.

318
00:15:07,120 --> 00:15:10,000
Speaker 1: She never wanted kids, how she shouldn't have gotten pregnant,

319
00:15:10,120 --> 00:15:13,120
Speaker 1: how things should have turned out differently, how this small

320
00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:14,640
Speaker 1: town was smothering her.

321
00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:17,720
Speaker 3: She's just a small town girl living in a lonely world.

322
00:15:17,800 --> 00:15:20,680
Speaker 1: Took the midnight train going anywhere. Jeez, she needed to

323
00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:23,040
Speaker 1: get away. And now the second child, my brother, was

324
00:15:23,080 --> 00:15:26,840
Speaker 1: the final noose that wouldn't let her breathe. I learned

325
00:15:26,840 --> 00:15:28,960
Speaker 1: what she wrote in that notebook a year or so later,

326
00:15:29,080 --> 00:15:31,560
Speaker 1: when I found it in the drawers. She left with

327
00:15:31,600 --> 00:15:33,520
Speaker 1: our truck and had someone deliver it to us a

328
00:15:33,520 --> 00:15:36,680
Speaker 1: month or so later, without even sending a word or anything.

329
00:15:37,320 --> 00:15:41,320
Speaker 1: Just some guy came and said, here's your truck. My

330
00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:44,480
Speaker 1: father was a mess afterward, not taking care of the farm,

331
00:15:44,680 --> 00:15:48,440
Speaker 1: stopped eating, started drinking. It was the fact that I

332
00:15:48,440 --> 00:15:50,480
Speaker 1: stopped going to school to take care of my brother,

333
00:15:50,600 --> 00:15:54,520
Speaker 1: along with my aunt, her sister, and her husband's words

334
00:15:55,040 --> 00:15:57,800
Speaker 1: that finally made him bounce back. But you could see

335
00:15:57,880 --> 00:15:59,840
Speaker 1: he was sad for a lot of years, and still

336
00:16:00,040 --> 00:16:02,680
Speaker 1: even after a decade, he would get all closed up

337
00:16:02,720 --> 00:16:05,640
Speaker 1: around the time she left or on their anniversaries. It

338
00:16:05,680 --> 00:16:08,120
Speaker 1: was us, Dad and I who took care of my brother.

339
00:16:08,920 --> 00:16:11,840
Speaker 1: I'd come back from school, do the dishes that were

340
00:16:11,920 --> 00:16:14,240
Speaker 1: left over from our breakfast, and take care of my

341
00:16:14,280 --> 00:16:17,280
Speaker 1: brother until he was a few years older. Then I

342
00:16:17,360 --> 00:16:20,040
Speaker 1: slowly became the woman of the house go to speak.

343
00:16:20,440 --> 00:16:22,600
Speaker 1: I'd cook the food, do the dishes, take care of

344
00:16:22,640 --> 00:16:25,640
Speaker 1: my brother after school, while my father would spend nearly

345
00:16:25,720 --> 00:16:29,080
Speaker 1: all his waking hours trying to manage the farm. Wow,

346
00:16:29,800 --> 00:16:32,880
Speaker 1: we weren't the richest people around, but with only one

347
00:16:32,960 --> 00:16:36,320
Speaker 1: depressed adult and two small kids, we earn more than

348
00:16:36,320 --> 00:16:38,320
Speaker 1: what we needed and even saved up a bit for

349
00:16:38,440 --> 00:16:40,960
Speaker 1: my brother's college fund. My father insisted that I should

350
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:43,240
Speaker 1: have won for myself as well, but I was spending

351
00:16:43,240 --> 00:16:45,720
Speaker 1: too much time on domestic and farm related stuff to

352
00:16:45,840 --> 00:16:48,600
Speaker 1: actually focus on my studies. And if I have to

353
00:16:48,600 --> 00:16:51,400
Speaker 1: be honest, I loved the farm, the animals, in taking

354
00:16:51,440 --> 00:16:55,040
Speaker 1: care of my brother. Anyway. Nearly a year ago, she

355
00:16:55,160 --> 00:16:58,440
Speaker 1: returned to visit her family, my aunt and us two,

356
00:16:58,600 --> 00:17:01,640
Speaker 1: and she was apparently planning on settling back here permanently.

357
00:17:02,560 --> 00:17:04,560
Speaker 1: He knew that she had a good few years of

358
00:17:04,640 --> 00:17:09,359
Speaker 1: modeling what she ran away and became a model. That's crazy,

359
00:17:09,680 --> 00:17:13,360
Speaker 1: that's insane, being like a child, and they're like, yeah,

360
00:17:13,400 --> 00:17:16,000
Speaker 1: my mom left me. Here she is in the magazines.

361
00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:19,639
Speaker 1: She's voguing as my mom, which led to her joining

362
00:17:19,680 --> 00:17:22,000
Speaker 1: the staff of some sort of magazine from her aunt,

363
00:17:22,480 --> 00:17:24,919
Speaker 1: as she still called her from time to time. She

364
00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:27,159
Speaker 1: tried calling us a few times as well, but I

365
00:17:27,320 --> 00:17:30,000
Speaker 1: refused to talk with her, and I think she was

366
00:17:30,040 --> 00:17:33,080
Speaker 1: too ashamed to ask to talk with my brother anyway.

367
00:17:33,119 --> 00:17:35,480
Speaker 1: When she came back, she apparently had enough to settle

368
00:17:35,520 --> 00:17:38,400
Speaker 1: back here with a new house and some land. After

369
00:17:38,440 --> 00:17:40,359
Speaker 1: a few days of her coming year, she tried to

370
00:17:40,400 --> 00:17:43,200
Speaker 1: contact us again when she and my dad ran into

371
00:17:43,200 --> 00:17:46,359
Speaker 1: each other at the town Center. My dad says he

372
00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:49,080
Speaker 1: told her about my opinion on her, but she insisted.

373
00:17:49,480 --> 00:17:52,119
Speaker 1: Apparently she owed that to me and I shoved it

374
00:17:52,240 --> 00:17:54,480
Speaker 1: for the lack of a better term. With a few

375
00:17:54,520 --> 00:17:58,000
Speaker 1: extras on the side as well. She tried the emotional

376
00:17:58,119 --> 00:18:01,639
Speaker 1: regretful parent on me. They're crying at all, but I

377
00:18:01,640 --> 00:18:04,440
Speaker 1: don't buy it, or rather, I just wish she never

378
00:18:04,520 --> 00:18:06,840
Speaker 1: came back to disturb us and had lived in her

379
00:18:07,040 --> 00:18:10,879
Speaker 1: very breathable big city life and left us the heck alone.

380
00:18:10,920 --> 00:18:13,120
Speaker 1: My brother was not there at the time, as he's

381
00:18:13,160 --> 00:18:16,000
Speaker 1: in his first year of college. He was admitted via

382
00:18:16,280 --> 00:18:19,199
Speaker 1: early enrollment thanks to him being the lovable genius that

383
00:18:19,240 --> 00:18:22,160
Speaker 1: he is. I knew my dad was still in love

384
00:18:22,200 --> 00:18:24,359
Speaker 1: with her. I tried to set up a few dates

385
00:18:24,359 --> 00:18:27,960
Speaker 1: for him before, but it never went anywhere in that summer. Well,

386
00:18:28,160 --> 00:18:33,359
Speaker 1: this summer they started dating again, to my dismay and

387
00:18:33,440 --> 00:18:34,399
Speaker 1: my brother's joy.

388
00:18:36,320 --> 00:18:39,280
Speaker 3: I mean, he's been so lonely, but I don't Yeah, no,

389
00:18:39,359 --> 00:18:40,160
Speaker 3: that's terrible.

390
00:18:40,480 --> 00:18:44,359
Speaker 1: No, you're wait, I'm sorry. You're dating the woman that

391
00:18:44,520 --> 00:18:47,720
Speaker 1: abandoned you and your kids.

392
00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:49,359
Speaker 3: Now he's dating a model.

393
00:18:49,640 --> 00:18:51,439
Speaker 1: Yeah. Now he's like, well, no, she's a model. You

394
00:18:51,480 --> 00:18:54,200
Speaker 1: have to understand. She's just doing very well.

395
00:18:54,040 --> 00:18:56,240
Speaker 3: For she's the hottest part of the town. Now he's

396
00:18:56,240 --> 00:18:57,040
Speaker 3: the talk of the town.

397
00:18:57,200 --> 00:19:00,600
Speaker 1: I would feel so betrayed as Opie. Yeah, like seeing

398
00:19:00,600 --> 00:19:04,000
Speaker 1: your mom, like literally your dad sobbing on the floor

399
00:19:04,119 --> 00:19:07,880
Speaker 1: over your mother. You having to become parentified because your

400
00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:10,320
Speaker 1: mom abandoned you and your dad was in this depressive

401
00:19:10,359 --> 00:19:12,639
Speaker 1: state and left you. Like yeah, he was doing a

402
00:19:12,640 --> 00:19:14,280
Speaker 1: lot of work and trying to keep his family together,

403
00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:17,280
Speaker 1: but he did parentify you, and you did have to

404
00:19:17,359 --> 00:19:22,080
Speaker 1: like miss out on schooling and stuff like no matter

405
00:19:22,680 --> 00:19:25,400
Speaker 1: if he said, oh, you should have a college fund too,

406
00:19:25,640 --> 00:19:27,280
Speaker 1: and you were like, oh, it's fine, it's fun. He

407
00:19:27,320 --> 00:19:29,840
Speaker 1: should as a parent be like, no, we're getting you

408
00:19:29,880 --> 00:19:33,800
Speaker 1: a college fund, you know. But he didn't because he

409
00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:37,880
Speaker 1: was dealing with all this stuff, and then after all

410
00:19:37,920 --> 00:19:42,879
Speaker 1: of those sacrifices, to accept her back is crazy to me.

411
00:19:43,280 --> 00:19:46,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean that's that's insane to me that she'd

412
00:19:46,480 --> 00:19:49,320
Speaker 3: even like zero It seems like zero contact. Yeah, zero

413
00:19:49,440 --> 00:19:50,560
Speaker 3: help you know, Yeah, is.

414
00:19:50,520 --> 00:19:52,560
Speaker 1: There any monetary like financial passy?

415
00:19:52,560 --> 00:19:54,199
Speaker 3: Seemed like it. It seemed like he was just they

416
00:19:54,240 --> 00:19:58,280
Speaker 3: were working hard all you know, there's no reason to

417
00:19:58,320 --> 00:19:59,800
Speaker 3: welcome her back with open arms.

418
00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:02,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, now is to date her is crazy?

419
00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:03,359
Speaker 3: Yeah?

420
00:20:03,440 --> 00:20:05,840
Speaker 1: My dad invited her over to dinner when my brother

421
00:20:05,920 --> 00:20:08,119
Speaker 1: came back from his summer break and we had a

422
00:20:08,119 --> 00:20:11,320
Speaker 1: family dinner. I wanted to warn my brother about her,

423
00:20:11,400 --> 00:20:14,520
Speaker 1: but seeing his enthusiasm about it, I couldn't break his heart,

424
00:20:15,160 --> 00:20:18,119
Speaker 1: so I just stayed civil and didn't speak unless spoken to.

425
00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:21,000
Speaker 1: My father had kept that notebook for more than a decade,

426
00:20:21,520 --> 00:20:24,040
Speaker 1: but I decided to burn it when I was nineteen.

427
00:20:24,800 --> 00:20:26,680
Speaker 1: My father and I had a pretty big fight about

428
00:20:26,680 --> 00:20:29,080
Speaker 1: how I had no right to burn it, but I

429
00:20:29,119 --> 00:20:30,920
Speaker 1: said to him that it was better than my brother

430
00:20:31,040 --> 00:20:36,280
Speaker 1: accidentally finding it and reading his mother thought him a

431
00:20:36,320 --> 00:20:39,080
Speaker 1: noose around her neck that wouldn't let her breathe. The

432
00:20:39,240 --> 00:20:42,840
Speaker 1: excellent point why is like, why is ope? Yeah, I know,

433
00:20:43,320 --> 00:20:46,320
Speaker 1: why is op having to be the adult in this situation?

434
00:20:47,320 --> 00:20:49,879
Speaker 3: It seems like the dad is holding on to like

435
00:20:49,960 --> 00:20:51,240
Speaker 3: the last Yeah, he's wanting.

436
00:20:51,119 --> 00:20:54,320
Speaker 1: To fail them, like I do understand that he has

437
00:20:54,359 --> 00:20:58,160
Speaker 1: gone through this really terrible, Like, yes he was depressed,

438
00:20:58,280 --> 00:21:02,160
Speaker 1: Yes he was betrayed. But when you're a parent, yeah,

439
00:21:02,240 --> 00:21:04,320
Speaker 1: like you can't. You're still culpable.

440
00:21:04,359 --> 00:21:07,880
Speaker 3: First, the father is grasping to the notion of what

441
00:21:08,359 --> 00:21:10,560
Speaker 3: she was before. Yeah, you know, when they were together.

442
00:21:10,600 --> 00:21:12,840
Speaker 3: He's like, oh, I've been yearning for this, I want

443
00:21:12,840 --> 00:21:16,600
Speaker 3: this back, and that's what it is. And it's not

444
00:21:16,640 --> 00:21:17,920
Speaker 3: the same. It's never going to be the same.

445
00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:20,159
Speaker 1: No, Kim findes his prodigal model.

446
00:21:22,280 --> 00:21:22,480
Speaker 3: Yeah.

447
00:21:22,680 --> 00:21:25,199
Speaker 1: Now, whenever I see her in our house talking with

448
00:21:25,280 --> 00:21:27,520
Speaker 1: my brother, who looks up to her like a genie

449
00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:31,199
Speaker 1: finally granted his wish. I remember what she wrote, and

450
00:21:31,240 --> 00:21:34,080
Speaker 1: the rage and hatred that goes through my very soul

451
00:21:34,280 --> 00:21:38,320
Speaker 1: is becoming that goddamn noose that won't let me breathe.

452
00:21:38,440 --> 00:21:40,440
Speaker 1: My brother had a talk with me this morning about

453
00:21:40,480 --> 00:21:43,200
Speaker 1: me being cold towards her, and it turned heated when

454
00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:46,160
Speaker 1: my brother said, why wouldn't I be happy? I finally

455
00:21:46,200 --> 00:21:49,679
Speaker 1: have a mother. We finally have a mother, And I

456
00:21:49,800 --> 00:21:52,840
Speaker 1: shouted back at him, I was your mother, not that,

457
00:21:53,680 --> 00:21:56,160
Speaker 1: and I don't have a mother. I made my brother

458
00:21:56,320 --> 00:21:59,840
Speaker 1: storm out of the house crying, and seeing him cry

459
00:22:00,040 --> 00:22:02,720
Speaker 1: made me cry, while my father tried to mediate between

460
00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:05,600
Speaker 1: us and failed. Of course he's failed, He's failed over

461
00:22:05,640 --> 00:22:08,919
Speaker 1: and over again. Yeah, the guy says he needs therapy.

462
00:22:09,040 --> 00:22:12,520
Speaker 3: Absolutely, he failed. The second he letter back, Well, he.

463
00:22:12,840 --> 00:22:16,960
Speaker 1: Failed when he made Ope a parent. You feel when

464
00:22:16,960 --> 00:22:20,280
Speaker 1: he didn't go to therapy after you know, years and

465
00:22:20,359 --> 00:22:24,320
Speaker 1: years of being in this you know, whole like depressive

466
00:22:24,320 --> 00:22:28,040
Speaker 1: hole that like, I just am very upset on OP.

467
00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:31,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, it seems like OPI literally once she left out

468
00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:32,240
Speaker 3: that door, childhood gone.

469
00:22:32,440 --> 00:22:34,480
Speaker 1: Yeah. The fact that I can't tell him that I

470
00:22:34,560 --> 00:22:38,480
Speaker 1: hate her because she detested us, her own gosh darn children,

471
00:22:39,040 --> 00:22:41,359
Speaker 1: because it will hurt him more. The fact that she

472
00:22:41,440 --> 00:22:45,040
Speaker 1: abandoned and scorned the loveliest, most innocent looking baby with

473
00:22:45,080 --> 00:22:47,119
Speaker 1: sky blue eyes when she was supposed to be a

474
00:22:47,119 --> 00:22:50,199
Speaker 1: mother to him. I was a gosh darn seven year

475
00:22:50,280 --> 00:22:51,000
Speaker 1: old child.

476
00:22:51,320 --> 00:22:56,560
Speaker 3: That's insane, seven years old, and then that day, you're

477
00:22:56,680 --> 00:22:59,520
Speaker 3: now a parent. Pretty much, I cooed at.

478
00:22:59,480 --> 00:23:01,879
Speaker 1: Him, and Shane Stipers for the first time with my

479
00:23:01,920 --> 00:23:04,760
Speaker 1: aunt showing me how it's done. And I didn't resent him.

480
00:23:05,119 --> 00:23:07,160
Speaker 1: I loved him like a brother, and I loved him

481
00:23:07,680 --> 00:23:10,280
Speaker 1: like she was supposed to. And the little comments people

482
00:23:10,320 --> 00:23:12,480
Speaker 1: make about her and me now that she's back are

483
00:23:12,520 --> 00:23:15,919
Speaker 1: just salt to the wound about our likeness. Even my

484
00:23:16,000 --> 00:23:18,879
Speaker 1: brother once commented on how we look so alike, smile

485
00:23:19,040 --> 00:23:21,199
Speaker 1: like each other, and how she probably looked like me

486
00:23:21,240 --> 00:23:23,600
Speaker 1: when she had him and took all my willpower not

487
00:23:23,720 --> 00:23:26,080
Speaker 1: to snap at him. I know that being this bitter

488
00:23:26,480 --> 00:23:30,119
Speaker 1: cold person will drive my brother away, and I know

489
00:23:30,480 --> 00:23:33,480
Speaker 1: I should stop if I wish to preserve this blissful moment,

490
00:23:33,600 --> 00:23:36,359
Speaker 1: even though the cause is her, But I can't help it.

491
00:23:36,600 --> 00:23:39,080
Speaker 1: The worst part is since she came back, she's not

492
00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:42,080
Speaker 1: the heartless piece of crap that left us. She never

493
00:23:42,160 --> 00:23:43,960
Speaker 1: raised her voice when I cursed at her when my

494
00:23:43,960 --> 00:23:46,600
Speaker 1: brother was not around, or told her to leave us alone,

495
00:23:47,400 --> 00:23:49,280
Speaker 1: or when I asked if she was avoiding me because

496
00:23:49,280 --> 00:23:51,480
Speaker 1: I shouldn't have been born at all, and she's trying

497
00:23:51,520 --> 00:23:54,480
Speaker 1: to fix a mistake by avoiding me. I once even

498
00:23:54,520 --> 00:23:56,439
Speaker 1: told her, does she think about the noose? When my

499
00:23:56,520 --> 00:23:59,439
Speaker 1: brother hugs her, and she just looked gut wrenched and

500
00:23:59,480 --> 00:24:03,600
Speaker 1: got teary, but only apologized and didn't try to defend herself.

501
00:24:03,800 --> 00:24:07,000
Speaker 1: I can't even enjoy hurting her. He doesn't fight back.

502
00:24:07,280 --> 00:24:09,000
Speaker 1: She's not the monster I made her out to be.

503
00:24:09,119 --> 00:24:13,359
Speaker 1: At least she isn't now. The worst part today made

504
00:24:13,400 --> 00:24:16,040
Speaker 1: me resentful and tired, like I don't even have the

505
00:24:16,080 --> 00:24:21,399
Speaker 1: strength of feel emotions. I actually understand the resentfulness, but

506
00:24:21,480 --> 00:24:23,680
Speaker 1: there is a little bit left to the story. Yeah,

507
00:24:23,720 --> 00:24:26,160
Speaker 1: I think that she, like your mom, has probably gone

508
00:24:26,160 --> 00:24:28,119
Speaker 1: through a lot. She was probably very young when she

509
00:24:28,160 --> 00:24:32,480
Speaker 1: had you two, and she didn't know how to deal

510
00:24:32,560 --> 00:24:35,680
Speaker 1: with being a mother, and she probably had to take

511
00:24:35,680 --> 00:24:37,480
Speaker 1: on a lot of the child care while your dad

512
00:24:37,560 --> 00:24:39,960
Speaker 1: was working on like the farm. Does that mean that

513
00:24:40,720 --> 00:24:43,600
Speaker 1: you have to forgive her right now? No?

514
00:24:43,600 --> 00:24:47,479
Speaker 3: No way, no, but no. I feel like you, Opie,

515
00:24:47,480 --> 00:24:50,000
Speaker 3: you don't owe your mother anything. No, but I feel

516
00:24:50,000 --> 00:24:52,640
Speaker 3: like a conversation just you and her, just say how

517
00:24:52,760 --> 00:24:55,200
Speaker 3: you feel and how she made you feel when you left,

518
00:24:55,359 --> 00:24:59,400
Speaker 3: and everything you know that's happened and what she made

519
00:24:59,440 --> 00:25:02,280
Speaker 3: you go through. You need to tell her that, and

520
00:25:02,320 --> 00:25:05,800
Speaker 3: she needs to understand and realize that she failed as

521
00:25:05,840 --> 00:25:06,760
Speaker 3: well as a mother.

522
00:25:06,960 --> 00:25:10,200
Speaker 1: And also I think therapy because you don't want to

523
00:25:10,520 --> 00:25:13,119
Speaker 1: hold on to this resentment and anger and stuff.

524
00:25:13,200 --> 00:25:15,119
Speaker 3: It's just it's just gonna grow because it just it

525
00:25:15,200 --> 00:25:15,760
Speaker 3: just hurts you.

526
00:25:15,960 --> 00:25:19,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, and your dad has forgiven her. Okay, your brother

527
00:25:19,720 --> 00:25:22,080
Speaker 1: is I mean, your brother probably never had those feelings

528
00:25:22,119 --> 00:25:22,960
Speaker 1: because he was too young.

529
00:25:23,240 --> 00:25:27,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, and he's also just he's it's the he's blinded

530
00:25:27,160 --> 00:25:29,560
Speaker 3: by I have a mom now, I finally have a mom.

531
00:25:29,560 --> 00:25:32,760
Speaker 3: But also that that kind of like is again a

532
00:25:32,960 --> 00:25:35,320
Speaker 3: got wrench to Op, because.

533
00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:37,400
Speaker 1: For everything that you've done, even though he doesn't quite

534
00:25:37,480 --> 00:25:42,080
Speaker 1: understand everything you've done, you have still done it. You

535
00:25:42,080 --> 00:25:44,040
Speaker 1: have still helped him get to this point, you have

536
00:25:44,080 --> 00:25:46,720
Speaker 1: still taken care of him. And that like her being

537
00:25:46,800 --> 00:25:51,639
Speaker 1: back doesn't negate all of the time and effort.

538
00:25:51,840 --> 00:25:53,840
Speaker 3: It doesn't feel the void. Yeah, it doesn't feel that

539
00:25:53,920 --> 00:25:57,520
Speaker 3: void that you guys are motherless. Yeah, yeah, bless you.

540
00:25:57,760 --> 00:26:00,199
Speaker 1: Yeah no, Op, it doesn't mean that you haven't You

541
00:26:00,240 --> 00:26:02,680
Speaker 1: didn't do all that. You were there when she wasn't.

542
00:26:02,800 --> 00:26:06,120
Speaker 3: And don't let your family try and course you and

543
00:26:06,240 --> 00:26:08,679
Speaker 3: make you feel bad for the way you feel, because

544
00:26:09,520 --> 00:26:12,720
Speaker 3: it's true you these are your feelings. Don't don't just

545
00:26:12,720 --> 00:26:13,360
Speaker 3: shove them down.

546
00:26:13,960 --> 00:26:16,320
Speaker 1: And your brother's gonna have totally different feelings and that's

547
00:26:16,400 --> 00:26:19,960
Speaker 1: his right, and maybe she'll hurt him again, hopefully not.

548
00:26:20,320 --> 00:26:23,720
Speaker 1: But I think it's just focusing on you and trying

549
00:26:23,840 --> 00:26:28,119
Speaker 1: to not you know, direct that anger at anyone else. Yeah,

550
00:26:28,200 --> 00:26:31,240
Speaker 1: you know, feel that anger, feel your emotions in a

551
00:26:31,320 --> 00:26:34,760
Speaker 1: healthy way. Uh, and then just you can, you know,

552
00:26:34,800 --> 00:26:37,520
Speaker 1: have that conversation with her and say like, hey, unfortunately

553
00:26:37,880 --> 00:26:40,040
Speaker 1: I understand you're back with my dad, you have that

554
00:26:40,040 --> 00:26:43,320
Speaker 1: relationship with my brother. You've lost your chance to have

555
00:26:43,359 --> 00:26:46,040
Speaker 1: a relationship with me. Yeah, you know, I'll be nice,

556
00:26:46,080 --> 00:26:46,840
Speaker 1: but you've lost that.

557
00:26:47,080 --> 00:26:49,400
Speaker 3: It's not going to be You're my mom, now you

558
00:26:49,440 --> 00:26:53,280
Speaker 3: are you? I am me great, says to be adult here, but.

559
00:26:53,200 --> 00:26:56,159
Speaker 1: There's a little bit left. Am I truly just like

560
00:26:56,240 --> 00:26:59,000
Speaker 1: her for resenting my brother, for forgiving her and calling

561
00:26:59,000 --> 00:27:01,080
Speaker 1: her his mother when I raised him myself with the

562
00:27:01,119 --> 00:27:04,200
Speaker 1: depressed father at home when I was just a child myself,

563
00:27:04,920 --> 00:27:08,000
Speaker 1: or the fact that my father accepted her so quickly

564
00:27:08,160 --> 00:27:10,000
Speaker 1: makes me see him as a weak willed man. That

565
00:27:10,080 --> 00:27:12,720
Speaker 1: makes me question the respect I have for him. Did

566
00:27:12,760 --> 00:27:14,439
Speaker 1: I resent the fact that I stayed here on the

567
00:27:14,480 --> 00:27:17,160
Speaker 1: farm and not going to college. They made me skip

568
00:27:17,200 --> 00:27:19,680
Speaker 1: a grade as well before my mother left us. When

569
00:27:19,720 --> 00:27:21,760
Speaker 1: I find some sort of new outlook on life at

570
00:27:21,760 --> 00:27:24,600
Speaker 1: college that would make me more like my brother or

571
00:27:24,640 --> 00:27:27,560
Speaker 1: father and be happy instead of being resentful. So my

572
00:27:27,680 --> 00:27:30,399
Speaker 1: question is what am I going to do now? I

573
00:27:30,400 --> 00:27:36,200
Speaker 1: think very easy answers doesn't seem easy. Therapy and focus

574
00:27:36,200 --> 00:27:39,880
Speaker 1: on yourself. You've spent so long being the adult, being

575
00:27:39,960 --> 00:27:42,560
Speaker 1: the parent that you don't know how to be a kid.

576
00:27:42,560 --> 00:27:44,560
Speaker 1: You don't know how to look after yourself, to look

577
00:27:44,600 --> 00:27:46,399
Speaker 1: at yourself. What do you need? Do you want to

578
00:27:46,440 --> 00:27:47,000
Speaker 1: go to college?

579
00:27:47,280 --> 00:27:48,120
Speaker 3: It's never too late.

580
00:27:48,400 --> 00:27:50,600
Speaker 1: Astram was like, you know, like talk to your dad.

581
00:27:50,600 --> 00:27:52,359
Speaker 1: I'm going I want to go to college. I know

582
00:27:52,480 --> 00:27:55,240
Speaker 1: that we spoke about. Yeah, it's like, no, you if

583
00:27:55,280 --> 00:27:57,520
Speaker 1: you want that, take that, do that.

584
00:27:57,720 --> 00:28:00,639
Speaker 3: If she's back and we don't know, you know, for

585
00:28:00,720 --> 00:28:03,400
Speaker 3: how long, or if she's you know, there for good.

586
00:28:04,119 --> 00:28:06,440
Speaker 3: Your brother is an adult, your dad is an adult. Now,

587
00:28:06,600 --> 00:28:08,800
Speaker 3: I mean your brother's in college too. But I think

588
00:28:08,840 --> 00:28:12,000
Speaker 3: this is what Sophia said, just go be free. You've

589
00:28:12,040 --> 00:28:15,679
Speaker 3: had this shadow over your head of your mother leaving.

590
00:28:16,480 --> 00:28:18,360
Speaker 3: This is the perfect time or not the perfect time.

591
00:28:18,400 --> 00:28:20,320
Speaker 3: There's no really perfect time now. But this is the

592
00:28:20,359 --> 00:28:24,000
Speaker 3: time for you to actually just go learn who you are,

593
00:28:24,080 --> 00:28:26,359
Speaker 3: what you want to do. And I mean, I know

594
00:28:26,400 --> 00:28:28,440
Speaker 3: you like it seems like Opie likes farms.

595
00:28:28,640 --> 00:28:31,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, maybe you can get like a degree in farming. Yeah,

596
00:28:31,400 --> 00:28:32,840
Speaker 1: you know, in agriculture.

597
00:28:32,720 --> 00:28:34,040
Speaker 3: There's a big world out there.

598
00:28:34,200 --> 00:28:37,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, folks, that is the end of that story, and

599
00:28:37,880 --> 00:28:39,959
Speaker 1: we have one more we're going to get into. Hey,

600
00:28:39,960 --> 00:28:41,080
Speaker 1: it's John your og host here.

601
00:28:41,120 --> 00:28:42,480
Speaker 3: We're gonna get back to the stories. But here's a

602
00:28:42,520 --> 00:28:44,600
Speaker 3: quick three minute break of aths from our sponsors.

603
00:28:44,920 --> 00:28:46,920
Speaker 1: My mother tried to control my wedding.

604
00:28:47,160 --> 00:28:48,000
Speaker 3: No more control.

605
00:28:48,160 --> 00:28:52,000
Speaker 1: To start to even loosely explain my current situation, we

606
00:28:52,120 --> 00:28:54,880
Speaker 1: have to go back to around September last year, twenty

607
00:28:54,960 --> 00:28:58,520
Speaker 1: twenty four. My fiance twenty four female and I at

608
00:28:58,520 --> 00:29:01,320
Speaker 1: the time we're looking to get married and had finally

609
00:29:01,360 --> 00:29:04,360
Speaker 1: found the perfect place for the ceremony, reception and place

610
00:29:04,440 --> 00:29:06,440
Speaker 1: to stay for the wedding night. By the way, this

611
00:29:06,480 --> 00:29:09,400
Speaker 1: comes from Trauma Dump throw A and if you want

612
00:29:09,440 --> 00:29:11,280
Speaker 1: to spit your own stories, go to the rs slash

613
00:29:11,320 --> 00:29:14,800
Speaker 1: Okay storytime separate it. So the planning was going really

614
00:29:14,840 --> 00:29:18,560
Speaker 1: smoothly and everyone on both sides of our family were

615
00:29:18,600 --> 00:29:21,160
Speaker 1: extremely excited to be involved in the planning and the

616
00:29:21,160 --> 00:29:24,240
Speaker 1: big day. Then one day, my mother contacted me regarding

617
00:29:24,360 --> 00:29:26,760
Speaker 1: who the bridesmaids were, as well as who my best

618
00:29:26,760 --> 00:29:29,120
Speaker 1: man was, and I informed her that I would be

619
00:29:29,160 --> 00:29:31,440
Speaker 1: choosing my brother in law as he was the one

620
00:29:31,440 --> 00:29:33,440
Speaker 1: to introduce me to my partner and I have known

621
00:29:33,480 --> 00:29:36,160
Speaker 1: him longer than my fiance. He then asked me to

622
00:29:36,240 --> 00:29:39,480
Speaker 1: change the best man to my younger brother and for

623
00:29:39,600 --> 00:29:43,200
Speaker 1: my fiance's bridesmaids to be reorganized so that my two

624
00:29:43,280 --> 00:29:45,240
Speaker 1: younger sisters could be a part of the bridal party.

625
00:29:45,480 --> 00:29:49,280
Speaker 3: No, yeah, that's ah, that's not your choice.

626
00:29:49,000 --> 00:29:49,880
Speaker 1: That's immediate.

627
00:29:50,480 --> 00:29:52,680
Speaker 3: No ye, easy.

628
00:29:52,400 --> 00:29:55,520
Speaker 1: Peasy, whoops. I gently put the foot down and told

629
00:29:55,560 --> 00:29:58,240
Speaker 1: her that it was mine in my fiance's day, and

630
00:29:58,280 --> 00:30:00,600
Speaker 1: she had already chosen her bridesmaids, and that I had

631
00:30:00,680 --> 00:30:03,400
Speaker 1: unfortunately informed my brother in law that I would like

632
00:30:03,480 --> 00:30:06,600
Speaker 1: him to be my best man. This is when crap

633
00:30:06,800 --> 00:30:10,080
Speaker 1: hit the fan for the first of many times, and

634
00:30:10,120 --> 00:30:13,640
Speaker 1: trust me, it gets a lot worse. No now. She

635
00:30:13,760 --> 00:30:16,800
Speaker 1: proceeded to bombard me and my partner with messages saying

636
00:30:16,800 --> 00:30:19,880
Speaker 1: that she, along with my stepfather forty one mail and

637
00:30:20,000 --> 00:30:22,520
Speaker 1: my brother and sisters would not attend the wedding if

638
00:30:22,560 --> 00:30:25,080
Speaker 1: my brother and sisters were not up frightened with me

639
00:30:25,160 --> 00:30:26,480
Speaker 1: and my soon to be wife.

640
00:30:26,600 --> 00:30:29,760
Speaker 3: Guess what that sucks there, I'm gonna give.

641
00:30:29,640 --> 00:30:33,320
Speaker 1: Them all recorders and they're gonna be upfront in a

642
00:30:33,360 --> 00:30:35,040
Speaker 1: little band from Titanic.

643
00:30:35,120 --> 00:30:36,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, my heart will go on.

644
00:30:38,800 --> 00:30:41,600
Speaker 1: That's what you guys get. Okay, you get what you get.

645
00:30:41,720 --> 00:30:42,440
Speaker 1: You don't get upset.

646
00:30:42,440 --> 00:30:43,760
Speaker 3: You guys don't get to get to practice.

647
00:30:43,920 --> 00:30:46,640
Speaker 1: No, you just get up there. We give you. No, no, no,

648
00:30:46,800 --> 00:30:49,719
Speaker 1: it's ten minutes before the wedding starts. We go, okay,

649
00:30:50,200 --> 00:30:52,160
Speaker 1: So this is These are the notes. This is how

650
00:30:52,160 --> 00:30:54,680
Speaker 1: you play the recorder. You guys got this. Here's the

651
00:30:54,720 --> 00:30:58,480
Speaker 1: sheet music. Figure it out. You got the You me

652
00:30:58,680 --> 00:31:01,480
Speaker 1: trying to come to some form of compromise to ensure

653
00:31:01,520 --> 00:31:03,600
Speaker 1: that I can still have my family there to witness

654
00:31:03,640 --> 00:31:06,400
Speaker 1: me getting married, and finally agreeing to put a pin

655
00:31:06,480 --> 00:31:09,640
Speaker 1: in it for now, however, explicitly informing my mother and

656
00:31:09,640 --> 00:31:12,440
Speaker 1: stepfather that my brother and sisters were not going to

657
00:31:12,480 --> 00:31:16,440
Speaker 1: be my best man flash my fiance's bridesmaids, and despite

658
00:31:16,440 --> 00:31:18,920
Speaker 1: the conversation we had via text, I left it on

659
00:31:18,960 --> 00:31:21,440
Speaker 1: what I thought was a nice note. The following week

660
00:31:21,520 --> 00:31:25,760
Speaker 1: after this conversation, myself, my fiancee, my mother, my mother

661
00:31:25,800 --> 00:31:29,040
Speaker 1: in law both forty four female, my twin sisters, both

662
00:31:29,080 --> 00:31:31,440
Speaker 1: in their early teens at the time, my sister in

663
00:31:31,520 --> 00:31:35,640
Speaker 1: law twenty six female, and my grandmother seventy two female,

664
00:31:36,080 --> 00:31:38,920
Speaker 1: had booked ourselves into an open evening at the venue

665
00:31:38,960 --> 00:31:41,640
Speaker 1: we had chosen to view it, all done up as

666
00:31:41,680 --> 00:31:44,920
Speaker 1: if it were prepared for our big dang. My mother

667
00:31:44,960 --> 00:31:48,920
Speaker 1: then turned up one hour late to the agreed time

668
00:31:49,040 --> 00:31:51,520
Speaker 1: to be at the open evening with my sisters and grandmother.

669
00:31:52,160 --> 00:31:55,480
Speaker 1: After a brief hello and exchanging some pleasantries, my mother

670
00:31:55,560 --> 00:31:59,080
Speaker 1: addressed the entire group, so are the girls bridesmaths? Yet?

671
00:31:59,240 --> 00:32:01,640
Speaker 1: My mother in law partner both had a confused look

672
00:32:01,640 --> 00:32:06,960
Speaker 1: on their face. So I spoke up her and said, no, Unfortunately,

673
00:32:06,960 --> 00:32:10,360
Speaker 1: the bride's maids have been chosen by her and for her,

674
00:32:10,640 --> 00:32:14,680
Speaker 1: because there's there're the bride's maids, not the mother in

675
00:32:14,760 --> 00:32:15,600
Speaker 1: law's mates.

676
00:32:15,840 --> 00:32:19,960
Speaker 3: It's not in the name exhausting. I'm already exhausted from her.

677
00:32:20,160 --> 00:32:21,800
Speaker 1: You know what, This mother in law needs to go

678
00:32:21,840 --> 00:32:25,120
Speaker 1: talk to the people from the first story, because she

679
00:32:25,160 --> 00:32:27,040
Speaker 1: would just I feel like if she went under her

680
00:32:27,040 --> 00:32:29,040
Speaker 1: tree with the people from the first story, she would

681
00:32:29,040 --> 00:32:32,440
Speaker 1: come out in enlightened. She would reach Nirvana. She would

682
00:32:32,480 --> 00:32:35,480
Speaker 1: be a what is it both bully's Satva? She would

683
00:32:35,480 --> 00:32:36,680
Speaker 1: be one of the enlightened people.

684
00:32:36,840 --> 00:32:37,520
Speaker 3: Would you call me?

685
00:32:37,720 --> 00:32:40,360
Speaker 1: My mother then proceeded to go eighth scrap in front

686
00:32:40,400 --> 00:32:43,360
Speaker 1: of the entire staff at the venue and caused a scene,

687
00:32:43,960 --> 00:32:46,320
Speaker 1: which then set my mother in law off, who then

688
00:32:46,360 --> 00:32:49,240
Speaker 1: began arguing back with her, calling her a few choice

689
00:32:49,240 --> 00:32:52,520
Speaker 1: words and some names for causing this drama. Myself and

690
00:32:52,560 --> 00:32:56,040
Speaker 1: my partner quickly left afterwards, well it was still going

691
00:32:56,040 --> 00:32:59,120
Speaker 1: on to go home and deal with the situation later

692
00:32:59,600 --> 00:33:03,080
Speaker 1: as we were exhausted from the embarrassment and how mentally

693
00:33:03,120 --> 00:33:05,720
Speaker 1: taxing it was to be involved in such a situation.

694
00:33:06,640 --> 00:33:09,960
Speaker 1: Around five hours ish later from this happening, we both

695
00:33:09,960 --> 00:33:12,960
Speaker 1: got a bombardment of messages from my mother and stepfather

696
00:33:13,400 --> 00:33:16,600
Speaker 1: hating on my mother in law, me and my fiance

697
00:33:16,960 --> 00:33:20,400
Speaker 1: for planning an ambush, as well as a few violent

698
00:33:20,440 --> 00:33:23,520
Speaker 1: threats being made to myself and my partner. Well, this

699
00:33:23,680 --> 00:33:26,400
Speaker 1: is so fun, because you guys won't be coming to

700
00:33:26,400 --> 00:33:27,200
Speaker 1: the wedding anymore.

701
00:33:27,360 --> 00:33:29,280
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's so easy.

702
00:33:29,320 --> 00:33:32,800
Speaker 1: We don't even have caught the recorder, caught the recorders.

703
00:33:33,120 --> 00:33:36,480
Speaker 1: You're just not gonna have you at the wedding. Don't worry.

704
00:33:36,760 --> 00:33:39,480
Speaker 1: At this point, I was mentally done with the situation

705
00:33:39,920 --> 00:33:41,240
Speaker 1: and also was done.

706
00:33:41,360 --> 00:33:43,400
Speaker 3: Oh look look at that. We can all agree.

707
00:33:43,520 --> 00:33:46,040
Speaker 1: At the time of this all happening, we were living

708
00:33:46,040 --> 00:33:48,959
Speaker 1: in a property that belonged to an extremely good and

709
00:33:49,080 --> 00:33:51,080
Speaker 1: longtime friend of my stepfather's.

710
00:33:51,280 --> 00:33:52,440
Speaker 3: Uh oh uh oh.

711
00:33:52,440 --> 00:33:54,920
Speaker 1: And because we didn't take my mother's side straight away,

712
00:33:55,080 --> 00:33:57,360
Speaker 1: my stepfather also said he would have a word with

713
00:33:57,440 --> 00:34:00,480
Speaker 1: his friend to thee if he could punt us that

714
00:34:00,560 --> 00:34:03,880
Speaker 1: seems illegal. I feel like you could prove that's illegal.

715
00:34:04,400 --> 00:34:08,600
Speaker 1: You could be like, hey, police, they're trying to kick

716
00:34:08,680 --> 00:34:12,200
Speaker 1: us out because my stepfather doesn't like our wedding choices.

717
00:34:12,320 --> 00:34:14,240
Speaker 1: Are knowing what you heard it here? First?

718
00:34:14,239 --> 00:34:16,120
Speaker 3: Police, Well that's not allowed.

719
00:34:16,280 --> 00:34:21,040
Speaker 1: We actually need some people for our recorder orchestra. Are

720
00:34:21,040 --> 00:34:23,359
Speaker 1: you freeze? So, after talking to my mother in law

721
00:34:23,400 --> 00:34:25,600
Speaker 1: and relaying what was said over the phone that night,

722
00:34:26,080 --> 00:34:28,919
Speaker 1: my mother in law, along with my sisters in law

723
00:34:28,960 --> 00:34:31,359
Speaker 1: and brothers in law, moved us out the very next

724
00:34:31,440 --> 00:34:34,080
Speaker 1: day with a few vands to avoid any further conflict

725
00:34:34,600 --> 00:34:37,400
Speaker 1: or strings attached to my mother and stepfather. Now they

726
00:34:37,440 --> 00:34:41,200
Speaker 1: have nothing to hold over you, effectively making us homeless. No,

727
00:34:41,640 --> 00:34:43,160
Speaker 1: and the both of us sleeping on my mother in

728
00:34:43,239 --> 00:34:43,800
Speaker 1: law's couch.

729
00:34:43,880 --> 00:34:48,359
Speaker 3: Okay, so they had their roof over you. They had

730
00:34:48,440 --> 00:34:50,000
Speaker 3: that dang take a bad plan.

731
00:34:50,239 --> 00:34:53,319
Speaker 1: Okay. This then somewhat fortunately turned into us staying at

732
00:34:53,320 --> 00:34:56,560
Speaker 1: my fiance's boss's guest house for two months. Nice that

733
00:34:56,600 --> 00:34:59,080
Speaker 1: your fiance's boss is school. All the while, my mother

734
00:34:59,080 --> 00:35:01,200
Speaker 1: and stepfather were going an ape crap at us for

735
00:35:01,320 --> 00:35:04,640
Speaker 1: leaving my stepfather's friends property that they threatened to get

736
00:35:04,640 --> 00:35:05,279
Speaker 1: you kicked out of.

737
00:35:05,440 --> 00:35:09,400
Speaker 3: So yeah, at this point, I say, we postponed the wedding.

738
00:35:09,480 --> 00:35:11,040
Speaker 1: Oh because the housing situation.

739
00:35:11,640 --> 00:35:15,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, get back on your feet. There's no People always

740
00:35:15,040 --> 00:35:16,719
Speaker 3: seem like, let's just rush it, let's just rush it.

741
00:35:16,800 --> 00:35:18,200
Speaker 3: You don't want to rush it. This is your day.

742
00:35:18,320 --> 00:35:21,120
Speaker 1: But I mean, you might lose all those deposits, which

743
00:35:21,160 --> 00:35:24,719
Speaker 1: if you're already financially you know, kind of iffy. You

744
00:35:24,760 --> 00:35:27,080
Speaker 1: don't want to waste all that money, which, but I

745
00:35:27,120 --> 00:35:29,719
Speaker 1: totally understand what you're saying, Like if you truly are

746
00:35:30,000 --> 00:35:34,160
Speaker 1: in just not the right headspace at all, and you

747
00:35:34,280 --> 00:35:38,239
Speaker 1: can afford to or you won't lose all those deposits.

748
00:35:38,400 --> 00:35:39,799
Speaker 3: Maybe postpone most of it back.

749
00:35:39,880 --> 00:35:43,479
Speaker 1: Yeah, however, if you can or if you can't do that.

750
00:35:43,520 --> 00:35:46,239
Speaker 3: Because this just makes things so much more stressful.

751
00:35:46,440 --> 00:35:47,960
Speaker 1: If you can't do that and you have to do

752
00:35:47,960 --> 00:35:51,680
Speaker 1: the wedding, don't invite any of your Don't invite your

753
00:35:51,680 --> 00:35:54,879
Speaker 1: mom or your father, your step father, keep them out.

754
00:35:55,000 --> 00:35:57,759
Speaker 1: After going no contact for a while, while we were

755
00:35:57,760 --> 00:35:59,959
Speaker 1: staying in the guest house and searching for a proper

756
00:36:00,360 --> 00:36:02,640
Speaker 1: that was more suitable for us, we then found out

757
00:36:02,640 --> 00:36:07,200
Speaker 1: that my fiance was pregnant. Whoa a lot.

758
00:36:07,040 --> 00:36:09,120
Speaker 3: Is going on read the next sentence.

759
00:36:09,360 --> 00:36:12,280
Speaker 1: So, like an idiot, I wanted to try and maintain

760
00:36:12,480 --> 00:36:16,200
Speaker 1: some form of relationship with my mother, like an idiot,

761
00:36:16,520 --> 00:36:20,040
Speaker 1: and to ensure she met her first grandchild when they arrived.

762
00:36:20,360 --> 00:36:23,400
Speaker 1: Did we forget that she tried to get you kicked

763
00:36:23,440 --> 00:36:26,400
Speaker 1: out of your place and now you're living in somewhere

764
00:36:26,400 --> 00:36:29,600
Speaker 1: else because you were worried about getting kicked out of

765
00:36:29,640 --> 00:36:31,360
Speaker 1: your place by your mother and staf She.

766
00:36:31,440 --> 00:36:35,200
Speaker 3: Also try to hijack your wedding planning and pretty much

767
00:36:35,200 --> 00:36:36,960
Speaker 3: make it her kind of wedding.

768
00:36:37,080 --> 00:36:40,920
Speaker 1: Oh, he's got very short term memory. I informed my

769
00:36:40,960 --> 00:36:43,640
Speaker 1: mother that we were expecting our first child. Then, for

770
00:36:43,680 --> 00:36:46,120
Speaker 1: the first time in around three months, we managed to

771
00:36:46,160 --> 00:36:48,960
Speaker 1: put the differences we had aside for my sake and

772
00:36:49,120 --> 00:36:51,920
Speaker 1: my soon to be child's sake. My fiance and I

773
00:36:52,040 --> 00:36:54,600
Speaker 1: finally found a property and began focusing on the new

774
00:36:54,680 --> 00:36:58,640
Speaker 1: arrival instead of the wedding. It was canceled until further notice.

775
00:36:58,840 --> 00:37:01,000
Speaker 1: Honestly makes sense. You're about to have a child.

776
00:37:01,080 --> 00:37:04,919
Speaker 3: The baby was what broke the camel's back there. You're like, oh, right, okay,

777
00:37:05,280 --> 00:37:05,800
Speaker 3: we don't.

778
00:37:05,600 --> 00:37:08,560
Speaker 1: Have a place. Okay, my mom sucked. Oh we have

779
00:37:08,640 --> 00:37:11,279
Speaker 1: a baby. Okay, Okay, that's it. Well okay, yeah, as

780
00:37:11,280 --> 00:37:13,800
Speaker 1: far as we knew anyway. Then for a good while,

781
00:37:13,920 --> 00:37:17,040
Speaker 1: everything slowly but surely began to get better and was

782
00:37:17,080 --> 00:37:19,839
Speaker 1: looking like it was before, except my fiance I had

783
00:37:19,880 --> 00:37:23,200
Speaker 1: next to no contact with my mother. My son was

784
00:37:23,280 --> 00:37:28,279
Speaker 1: finally born this year. Yeah, happy and healthy, although a

785
00:37:28,280 --> 00:37:31,560
Speaker 1: bit premature. Once he was born, I was living life

786
00:37:31,680 --> 00:37:35,560
Speaker 1: in absolute My partner finally managed to find it within

787
00:37:35,600 --> 00:37:38,279
Speaker 1: herself to bring yourself around to my mother's house with

788
00:37:38,400 --> 00:37:41,799
Speaker 1: our son without any pressure for myself mine I add,

789
00:37:42,480 --> 00:37:46,040
Speaker 1: and without a single apology from my mother and stepfather.

790
00:37:46,239 --> 00:37:49,279
Speaker 1: That's a thing. If they had apologized, I might be

791
00:37:49,360 --> 00:37:51,280
Speaker 1: a little bit more inclined to be like, yeah, okay,

792
00:37:51,440 --> 00:37:54,879
Speaker 1: they're never d you know you had a kid, you

793
00:37:54,920 --> 00:37:58,480
Speaker 1: didn't have a kid. I'm sorry you had no apology

794
00:37:58,480 --> 00:38:02,879
Speaker 1: from them, They have made no attempts to reconcile with you.

795
00:38:03,719 --> 00:38:06,040
Speaker 1: Why would you want to welcome them back into your life?

796
00:38:06,080 --> 00:38:08,239
Speaker 3: I don't know why we're going back distance. Yeah, I

797
00:38:08,520 --> 00:38:09,600
Speaker 3: don't know why we're going back.

798
00:38:09,719 --> 00:38:10,480
Speaker 1: I don't have no idea.

799
00:38:10,600 --> 00:38:12,560
Speaker 3: There was no that. I don't really why not to

800
00:38:12,680 --> 00:38:17,680
Speaker 3: an apology? Yeah, exactly until an apology was said or given? Yeah,

801
00:38:17,719 --> 00:38:20,000
Speaker 3: why would I especially if they're my parents, why would

802
00:38:20,000 --> 00:38:21,759
Speaker 3: I want to go back? Yes, I have our son.

803
00:38:21,800 --> 00:38:24,719
Speaker 3: I'm living my life with absolute bliss, Zach, Why do

804
00:38:24,800 --> 00:38:25,759
Speaker 3: you want to ruin that?

805
00:38:26,080 --> 00:38:28,319
Speaker 1: My mother has met my son a grand total of

806
00:38:28,400 --> 00:38:31,479
Speaker 1: two times. The first time was a week after he

807
00:38:31,560 --> 00:38:35,200
Speaker 1: was born, and the second time was four days after that.

808
00:38:36,080 --> 00:38:38,680
Speaker 1: As of this post, he is nearly four months old.

809
00:38:39,239 --> 00:38:41,880
Speaker 1: Flash forward to his baptism two weeks ago. I had

810
00:38:42,000 --> 00:38:45,040
Speaker 1: organized the entirety of both families to be there for myself,

811
00:38:45,360 --> 00:38:47,120
Speaker 1: my fiance, and my son.

812
00:38:47,320 --> 00:38:50,320
Speaker 3: The mom's gonna be like, could your sisters also get baptized?

813
00:38:50,400 --> 00:38:52,439
Speaker 1: Yeah? Can can you just baptize them? Please?

814
00:38:52,560 --> 00:38:53,920
Speaker 3: Can I also get baptized? Yeah?

815
00:38:54,080 --> 00:38:55,880
Speaker 1: Everyone should get baptized? Can be?

816
00:38:56,040 --> 00:38:56,880
Speaker 3: It's about our family.

817
00:38:56,880 --> 00:38:59,160
Speaker 1: Can we baptize your child? Can I? Can I do that?

818
00:38:59,239 --> 00:39:02,160
Speaker 1: Head dunking please? And begged my mother to be there

819
00:39:02,239 --> 00:39:05,879
Speaker 1: and to bring my sisters and brother. Ultimately, she never

820
00:39:06,000 --> 00:39:09,439
Speaker 1: turned up and made an excuse that she wasn't feeling well.

821
00:39:09,960 --> 00:39:12,359
Speaker 1: I had made it known to my fiance, my mother

822
00:39:12,360 --> 00:39:15,719
Speaker 1: in law, and grandmother that I was quite upset that

823
00:39:15,800 --> 00:39:18,600
Speaker 1: my mother hadn't made an effort with my son, her

824
00:39:18,600 --> 00:39:21,719
Speaker 1: first grandchild since he was born, and didn't make the

825
00:39:21,760 --> 00:39:24,799
Speaker 1: effort to attend the baptism service or function for even

826
00:39:24,920 --> 00:39:27,439
Speaker 1: one hour of her time, and that my mother could

827
00:39:27,440 --> 00:39:30,040
Speaker 1: have at least organized it so my brother and sisters

828
00:39:30,040 --> 00:39:33,560
Speaker 1: could attend. This infuriated my mother in law, and she

829
00:39:33,600 --> 00:39:35,920
Speaker 1: was very empathetic towards me. My mother in law then

830
00:39:35,960 --> 00:39:39,560
Speaker 1: took it upon herself to message my mother, oh, expressing

831
00:39:39,560 --> 00:39:42,719
Speaker 1: her disapproval that she didn't attend that day. Unbeknownst to

832
00:39:42,719 --> 00:39:45,200
Speaker 1: my knowledge, that's not going to turn out well.

833
00:39:45,280 --> 00:39:47,560
Speaker 3: Oh, you remember Juli's They.

834
00:39:47,520 --> 00:39:51,160
Speaker 1: Literally had like a screaming match or at that other

835
00:39:51,239 --> 00:39:53,560
Speaker 1: wedding event. I can't imagine this is going.

836
00:39:53,520 --> 00:39:56,560
Speaker 3: To tell so so well. She'd be like, you're right,

837
00:39:56,880 --> 00:39:59,480
Speaker 3: you called me out. You're so right. I should have

838
00:39:59,520 --> 00:40:00,319
Speaker 3: been there and.

839
00:40:00,280 --> 00:40:03,520
Speaker 1: Be there for my son and his child. This then

840
00:40:03,640 --> 00:40:07,200
Speaker 1: snowballed into a hate campaign being made towards my mother

841
00:40:07,239 --> 00:40:09,800
Speaker 1: in law by my mother, including a bunch of nasty

842
00:40:09,840 --> 00:40:13,239
Speaker 1: messages being exchanged between both my mother and my mother

843
00:40:13,239 --> 00:40:16,960
Speaker 1: in law. After a week of nasty messages being exchanged

844
00:40:17,000 --> 00:40:20,800
Speaker 1: periodically between them, my mother in law messaged and phoned

845
00:40:20,840 --> 00:40:23,319
Speaker 1: my mother asking to come around to her house to

846
00:40:23,360 --> 00:40:24,040
Speaker 1: talk this out.

847
00:40:24,120 --> 00:40:26,480
Speaker 3: Like adults, Oh man, I want to see this, dude.

848
00:40:26,560 --> 00:40:29,680
Speaker 1: They're gonna be like they're like like, yeah, let's talk,

849
00:40:29,920 --> 00:40:31,000
Speaker 1: let's talk.

850
00:40:31,000 --> 00:40:32,520
Speaker 3: Let's talk, let's talk with.

851
00:40:32,600 --> 00:40:36,600
Speaker 4: My mother in law is doing way too much.

852
00:40:36,760 --> 00:40:39,440
Speaker 1: But I actually kind of agree that the mother. I

853
00:40:39,520 --> 00:40:41,279
Speaker 1: understand that the mother in law is doing this from

854
00:40:41,280 --> 00:40:42,560
Speaker 1: like a good place.

855
00:40:42,880 --> 00:40:44,960
Speaker 3: She's trying to yeah, but she's trying to protect Ope,

856
00:40:45,239 --> 00:40:47,880
Speaker 3: she's talking to immovable object.

857
00:40:48,000 --> 00:40:49,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like sometimes we.

858
00:40:50,040 --> 00:40:52,520
Speaker 4: Just do you think she is doing this because she

859
00:40:52,600 --> 00:40:54,680
Speaker 4: was a bad mom to Oh he's husband.

860
00:40:54,600 --> 00:40:56,880
Speaker 1: Oh p he's does No.

861
00:40:56,880 --> 00:40:59,239
Speaker 3: No, I think she's doing this because she's a good

862
00:40:59,320 --> 00:41:00,800
Speaker 3: person and she understands.

863
00:41:01,080 --> 00:41:03,759
Speaker 1: I think that she wants to protect dope.

864
00:41:03,320 --> 00:41:06,160
Speaker 3: She wants to be a motherly figure towards her son

865
00:41:06,239 --> 00:41:06,600
Speaker 3: in law.

866
00:41:06,760 --> 00:41:09,719
Speaker 1: Yes, but I think that I think that, like sometimes

867
00:41:09,719 --> 00:41:12,040
Speaker 1: when you got a crazy person, the best thing is

868
00:41:12,120 --> 00:41:15,160
Speaker 1: just to take a step back and not interact with

869
00:41:15,200 --> 00:41:16,680
Speaker 1: them and not poke the bear.

870
00:41:16,920 --> 00:41:19,480
Speaker 3: It's the screaming match of like you can scream louder,

871
00:41:19,600 --> 00:41:21,520
Speaker 3: just walk away. They just just look like an idiot.

872
00:41:21,640 --> 00:41:23,839
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I think you just need to focus on

873
00:41:23,880 --> 00:41:28,600
Speaker 1: your fiance, your child and leave your mom your own device.

874
00:41:28,800 --> 00:41:30,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, stop giving. I know you want to have that

875
00:41:30,920 --> 00:41:34,640
Speaker 3: relationship with them, but there's no point in doing that.

876
00:41:34,680 --> 00:41:37,560
Speaker 3: They're just toxic and they're narcissistic and they just want

877
00:41:37,600 --> 00:41:39,239
Speaker 3: their way and that's it.

878
00:41:39,280 --> 00:41:41,600
Speaker 1: And that there were no physical threats being made towards her.

879
00:41:41,840 --> 00:41:44,400
Speaker 1: And if she can message all those nasty comments, she

880
00:41:44,400 --> 00:41:48,160
Speaker 1: can also express herself really face to face. Those are threats.

881
00:41:48,600 --> 00:41:52,200
Speaker 1: They're about to tussle one. They're about to tussle man.

882
00:41:54,160 --> 00:41:56,640
Speaker 1: I'm ready with the ring because they're about to throw down.

883
00:41:56,800 --> 00:41:59,800
Speaker 1: They're about to throw down. The blind one says, ww

884
00:42:00,440 --> 00:42:04,000
Speaker 1: granny style in the ring, we have a mother.

885
00:42:04,920 --> 00:42:09,960
Speaker 3: In the other ring, we have mother in law. Which

886
00:42:10,000 --> 00:42:12,680
Speaker 3: mom is gonna win the belt? I don't know, and

887
00:42:12,960 --> 00:42:15,760
Speaker 3: I don't watch that. That's all I got for you, guys.

888
00:42:15,880 --> 00:42:18,360
Speaker 1: Upon arrival at my mother's house with my sister in

889
00:42:18,440 --> 00:42:21,160
Speaker 1: law driving as she can't drive, my mother in law

890
00:42:21,200 --> 00:42:25,320
Speaker 1: approached the door and knocked. As my mother answered the door,

891
00:42:25,880 --> 00:42:30,919
Speaker 1: it got physical immediately, like who's who's there?

892
00:42:31,200 --> 00:42:33,759
Speaker 3: Who's call an ambulance?

893
00:42:34,080 --> 00:42:38,560
Speaker 1: Not for me? Dude, who could have saw that coming? Literally?

894
00:42:38,600 --> 00:42:41,359
Speaker 1: Anyone with eyes, Yeah, anyone with eyes.

895
00:42:41,440 --> 00:42:43,279
Speaker 3: I wish I ah man, I wish I was there.

896
00:42:43,480 --> 00:42:47,560
Speaker 1: Your mother in law specifically said, oh, yeah, it's not

897
00:42:47,600 --> 00:42:50,400
Speaker 1: gonna get physical. Why would she mean Why would she

898
00:42:50,640 --> 00:42:51,800
Speaker 1: say it's not gonna get physical?

899
00:42:52,040 --> 00:42:55,040
Speaker 3: Read between the lines of it was going to be

900
00:42:55,160 --> 00:42:57,280
Speaker 3: extremely physical.

901
00:42:57,400 --> 00:42:59,000
Speaker 1: She meant, it's not not going to be physical.

902
00:42:59,320 --> 00:43:02,439
Speaker 3: Tell your friends, tell your husband, tell your family. You're

903
00:43:02,440 --> 00:43:03,560
Speaker 3: about to get embarrassed.

904
00:43:03,719 --> 00:43:06,120
Speaker 1: My mother in law finally managed to escape through the

905
00:43:06,120 --> 00:43:09,800
Speaker 1: front door. Wait, wait, it's at so your mother in

906
00:43:09,920 --> 00:43:13,440
Speaker 1: law shows up at your mom's house. Your mom opens

907
00:43:13,480 --> 00:43:15,680
Speaker 1: the door, your mother in law, it's we don't know

908
00:43:15,719 --> 00:43:17,960
Speaker 1: who threw the first bunch. Someone throws the first bunch.

909
00:43:18,280 --> 00:43:21,759
Speaker 1: Your mother in law escapes through the front door or

910
00:43:22,000 --> 00:43:23,320
Speaker 1: was she already in the house?

911
00:43:23,440 --> 00:43:26,600
Speaker 3: And then let's cool, want to I want to video

912
00:43:26,600 --> 00:43:26,919
Speaker 3: of this?

913
00:43:27,040 --> 00:43:29,919
Speaker 1: Well, my sister in law punted my mother's front door

914
00:43:29,960 --> 00:43:31,840
Speaker 1: as she had seen there was a scuffle behind the

915
00:43:31,840 --> 00:43:34,600
Speaker 1: door as it had frosted glass on the front. And

916
00:43:34,680 --> 00:43:37,479
Speaker 1: to finally fast forward to now, my mother in law

917
00:43:37,560 --> 00:43:41,000
Speaker 1: had just been arrested two hours ago as my mother

918
00:43:41,080 --> 00:43:44,239
Speaker 1: had filed a police report against her breakface. My mother

919
00:43:44,239 --> 00:43:47,120
Speaker 1: in law has photographic evidence of the aftermath and the

920
00:43:47,160 --> 00:43:49,160
Speaker 1: text messages to prove this. So I'm not sure how

921
00:43:49,200 --> 00:43:52,840
Speaker 1: things are going to proceed. Advice is appreciated, and folks,

922
00:43:52,880 --> 00:43:56,280
Speaker 1: there is nothing more to that story. But I honestly

923
00:43:56,800 --> 00:44:00,879
Speaker 1: we don't have really information on who started it. Mother

924
00:44:00,960 --> 00:44:03,840
Speaker 1: in law had to have known what was gonna happen.

925
00:44:04,280 --> 00:44:06,759
Speaker 3: Yeah, once you get yeah, she had to have. No,

926
00:44:06,880 --> 00:44:09,080
Speaker 3: that's what you always say, meet in a neutral zone. Yeah,

927
00:44:09,160 --> 00:44:11,879
Speaker 3: you don't go into this property. Yeah, mother in law

928
00:44:11,960 --> 00:44:14,520
Speaker 3: is doing a little bit too much. My advice to you,

929
00:44:14,600 --> 00:44:19,080
Speaker 3: op is just live with your family. Yeah, focus on

930
00:44:19,520 --> 00:44:21,120
Speaker 3: your new baby boy.

931
00:44:21,560 --> 00:44:22,120
Speaker 1: Who is that No?

932
00:44:22,200 --> 00:44:24,279
Speaker 3: Baby boy and just have a good time and then

933
00:44:24,600 --> 00:44:26,680
Speaker 3: plan the wedding when you guys are back on your

934
00:44:26,719 --> 00:44:30,560
Speaker 3: feet and more stable. Stop giving the light of day

935
00:44:30,760 --> 00:44:34,080
Speaker 3: to your mother. There's no point in it. She's gonna

936
00:44:34,120 --> 00:44:37,280
Speaker 3: sit on that pompous horse that she's on. That's my advice.

937
00:44:37,480 --> 00:44:41,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, the mom is a tricky one. She's waited for

938
00:44:41,040 --> 00:44:43,240
Speaker 4: the mom to show up on mother in law's property.

939
00:44:44,480 --> 00:44:46,000
Speaker 4: It does not look good to show up at the

940
00:44:46,000 --> 00:44:46,720
Speaker 4: mom's house.

941
00:44:47,280 --> 00:44:49,120
Speaker 3: No, it doesn't know. I think mother mother in law

942
00:44:49,160 --> 00:44:51,080
Speaker 3: probably what she got arrested. Yeah, no, one hundred percent.

943
00:44:51,080 --> 00:44:51,480
Speaker 1: Mother in law.

944
00:44:51,480 --> 00:44:54,319
Speaker 3: It was just like baffled by, like how dumb your

945
00:44:54,360 --> 00:44:54,759
Speaker 3: mom is?

946
00:44:55,880 --> 00:44:58,399
Speaker 1: Mother in law showed up on mom's mom.

947
00:44:58,560 --> 00:45:00,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, no, I think she doesn't know. Mother in

948
00:45:00,400 --> 00:45:02,239
Speaker 3: law was just so fed up. She's like, I don't

949
00:45:02,239 --> 00:45:05,360
Speaker 3: care anymore. I'm too old. I want, I need, I

950
00:45:05,400 --> 00:45:07,399
Speaker 3: want to have a conversation with her.

951
00:45:07,760 --> 00:45:11,560
Speaker 1: I'm gonna talk to her. Yeah, we're gonna show a

952
00:45:11,560 --> 00:45:14,680
Speaker 1: couple words, if you know what I mean. And then

953
00:45:14,719 --> 00:45:15,400
Speaker 1: she went over.

954
00:45:15,320 --> 00:45:18,120
Speaker 3: To the mom's It's like it was all brewing, like

955
00:45:18,400 --> 00:45:22,279
Speaker 3: she can't fathom how dumb Opie's mom is, and like

956
00:45:22,400 --> 00:45:25,320
Speaker 3: how selfish he is so personally.

957
00:45:25,360 --> 00:45:29,760
Speaker 1: I think that you should limit contact with your mom

958
00:45:29,920 --> 00:45:32,080
Speaker 1: a lot because this is just too much.

959
00:45:32,280 --> 00:45:35,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, she doesn't deserve to see her grandson your child,

960
00:45:36,000 --> 00:45:36,880
Speaker 3: not at all.

961
00:45:36,800 --> 00:45:39,000
Speaker 1: Not at all. But folks, that is the end of

962
00:45:39,040 --> 00:45:41,920
Speaker 1: that story and the end of this episode. We no,

963
00:45:42,040 --> 00:45:45,319
Speaker 1: I lied. We have one more folks, Sam here ogi host.

964
00:45:45,320 --> 00:45:46,600
Speaker 3: We're gonna get back to these stories.

965
00:45:46,600 --> 00:45:48,600
Speaker 1: But here's three minutes fads from our sponsors.

966
00:45:48,600 --> 00:45:52,840
Speaker 3: First, my boyfriend chose me over his mother, and now

967
00:45:52,960 --> 00:45:54,160
Speaker 3: she's blaming me for it.

968
00:45:54,320 --> 00:45:56,720
Speaker 1: You had to make a choice to start.

969
00:45:56,920 --> 00:45:59,799
Speaker 3: I'm twenty two female and my boyfriend is twenty four male.

970
00:46:00,360 --> 00:46:02,359
Speaker 3: He's in the military and gets out in a year.

971
00:46:02,560 --> 00:46:02,799
Speaker 1: Woo.

972
00:46:03,360 --> 00:46:05,560
Speaker 3: We're very close and he's the love of my life

973
00:46:05,719 --> 00:46:08,600
Speaker 3: and he has expressed the desire to get married. I've

974
00:46:08,600 --> 00:46:11,040
Speaker 3: told him I'd say yes when his contract is over

975
00:46:11,280 --> 00:46:13,520
Speaker 3: and we have more money. By the way, this comes

976
00:46:13,520 --> 00:46:16,960
Speaker 3: from user astro billisk and if you want to submit

977
00:46:17,000 --> 00:46:19,800
Speaker 3: your own stories, go to the r slash Okay storytime Subburty.

978
00:46:20,600 --> 00:46:23,680
Speaker 3: So we're currently saving for a house. In other words,

979
00:46:23,800 --> 00:46:26,920
Speaker 3: this is a serious relationship and is definitely headed towards

980
00:46:26,920 --> 00:46:30,640
Speaker 3: marriage and starting a family. Since we started dating. I

981
00:46:30,640 --> 00:46:32,040
Speaker 3: have not been to his home state to meet his

982
00:46:32,040 --> 00:46:35,920
Speaker 3: family due to my job. I haven't accrued enough paytap

983
00:46:36,000 --> 00:46:38,319
Speaker 3: off to be able to take off the amount of

984
00:46:38,360 --> 00:46:40,920
Speaker 3: time that would be needed to drive ten hours and

985
00:46:40,960 --> 00:46:43,319
Speaker 3: stay a few days, because I just started accruing in

986
00:46:43,400 --> 00:46:46,200
Speaker 3: March when my contract became permanent. He's opened up to

987
00:46:46,239 --> 00:46:49,760
Speaker 3: me about his family dynamic, though, and more specifically his mother.

988
00:46:50,560 --> 00:46:54,640
Speaker 3: His mother is a very my way or the highway

989
00:46:54,880 --> 00:46:57,400
Speaker 3: type of person, and she tends to get very upset

990
00:46:57,480 --> 00:47:00,719
Speaker 3: when he refuses to comply. He decided last winter that

991
00:47:00,800 --> 00:47:03,320
Speaker 3: he would stay with me over his holiday leave instead

992
00:47:03,320 --> 00:47:05,400
Speaker 3: of going home, because he said to me that he

993
00:47:05,440 --> 00:47:08,880
Speaker 3: wanted to spend Christmas with me and my family because frankly,

994
00:47:09,239 --> 00:47:11,640
Speaker 3: we're emotionally easier to be around. He felt as if

995
00:47:11,640 --> 00:47:14,040
Speaker 3: his mother used him as a therapist when he was

996
00:47:14,080 --> 00:47:16,600
Speaker 3: home due to his brother passing two years ago. At

997
00:47:16,600 --> 00:47:17,240
Speaker 3: his job.

998
00:47:17,719 --> 00:47:20,719
Speaker 1: Oh at his job. Oh that's rough.

999
00:47:21,719 --> 00:47:25,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, And I guarantee you she probably holds that, like,

1000
00:47:25,440 --> 00:47:27,840
Speaker 3: not not necessarily blaming him, but it's definitely one of

1001
00:47:27,840 --> 00:47:30,600
Speaker 3: those things where like, your brother passed away, and it's.

1002
00:47:30,440 --> 00:47:31,799
Speaker 1: Just yeah, you need to take care of me.

1003
00:47:32,080 --> 00:47:34,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, ooh, I had a problem with this, and expressed

1004
00:47:34,400 --> 00:47:36,640
Speaker 3: the want to buy Christmas presents for his family and

1005
00:47:36,680 --> 00:47:39,000
Speaker 3: mail them. I had bought them and everything, and we

1006
00:47:39,040 --> 00:47:41,960
Speaker 3: put them up to wait until closer to time Thanksgiving.

1007
00:47:42,080 --> 00:47:44,600
Speaker 3: She facetimed him, and I thought it would be a

1008
00:47:44,600 --> 00:47:49,000
Speaker 3: good opportunity to introduce myself. I'm normally very shy slash

1009
00:47:49,040 --> 00:47:52,040
Speaker 3: don't speak much, so this was a big deal to me.

1010
00:47:53,000 --> 00:47:56,280
Speaker 3: I waved and said hello and tried to introduce myself,

1011
00:47:56,360 --> 00:47:59,120
Speaker 3: but she jumped straight into talking to her son. Okay,

1012
00:47:59,600 --> 00:48:01,840
Speaker 3: it's okay, Okay. Maybe it was the wrong time to

1013
00:48:01,880 --> 00:48:04,319
Speaker 3: do that, or she didn't hear me, so I'll wait

1014
00:48:04,520 --> 00:48:07,640
Speaker 3: and try again later. I ended up introducing myself to

1015
00:48:07,680 --> 00:48:10,000
Speaker 3: a few other family members, though, when she passed the

1016
00:48:10,000 --> 00:48:13,200
Speaker 3: phone around. Once she got the phone back, I was

1017
00:48:13,200 --> 00:48:15,799
Speaker 3: about to try again when she asked him if he

1018
00:48:15,920 --> 00:48:19,600
Speaker 3: was coming home for Christmas, and I guarantee you, this

1019
00:48:19,920 --> 00:48:21,600
Speaker 3: is not going to be good.

1020
00:48:21,760 --> 00:48:23,000
Speaker 1: There's going to be a problem.

1021
00:48:23,320 --> 00:48:26,279
Speaker 3: Yeah. We both kind of froze, and I knew my

1022
00:48:26,320 --> 00:48:28,919
Speaker 3: introduction to her was not going to happen that day.

1023
00:48:29,880 --> 00:48:32,640
Speaker 3: She loudly exclaimed to his grandmother that he would not

1024
00:48:32,800 --> 00:48:36,040
Speaker 3: be coming home and she seems sad, which made him

1025
00:48:36,080 --> 00:48:36,920
Speaker 3: feel guilty.

1026
00:48:37,280 --> 00:48:39,480
Speaker 1: Oh wait, sorry, I thought the mom was saying that.

1027
00:48:39,520 --> 00:48:42,400
Speaker 1: The grandma said, are you coming back for Christmas? And

1028
00:48:42,400 --> 00:48:44,640
Speaker 1: the mom was like, he's not coming back.

1029
00:48:44,840 --> 00:48:47,719
Speaker 3: No, no, mom. Mom asked like, are you coming home?

1030
00:48:47,760 --> 00:48:50,440
Speaker 1: So oh, okay, maybe okay the first time I got it.

1031
00:48:50,480 --> 00:48:51,839
Speaker 3: Right, Yeah, yeah, you're right.

1032
00:48:51,880 --> 00:48:52,200
Speaker 1: Okay.

1033
00:48:52,400 --> 00:48:54,200
Speaker 3: Then his mom took the phone and went into a

1034
00:48:54,239 --> 00:48:58,160
Speaker 3: private area and let him have it. You're not coming

1035
00:48:58,200 --> 00:48:59,040
Speaker 3: home for the holidays.

1036
00:48:59,239 --> 00:49:00,000
Speaker 1: Oh my goodness.

1037
00:49:00,360 --> 00:49:03,040
Speaker 3: It was so bad that my own mother texted me

1038
00:49:03,120 --> 00:49:06,680
Speaker 3: to come help her with the tablecloth. She asked me

1039
00:49:06,719 --> 00:49:09,239
Speaker 3: if he was okay because of how badly his mother

1040
00:49:09,320 --> 00:49:12,879
Speaker 3: was talking to him like a dog. Basically, this guy's

1041
00:49:12,920 --> 00:49:17,040
Speaker 3: also in the military, so could you imagine a big military.

1042
00:49:16,560 --> 00:49:18,919
Speaker 1: Man being berated by it, and just.

1043
00:49:18,920 --> 00:49:21,719
Speaker 3: Like just I guarantee you he's taking it too. He's

1044
00:49:21,760 --> 00:49:22,480
Speaker 3: not saying anything.

1045
00:49:22,760 --> 00:49:25,839
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's really rough, because this guy, he's probably taken

1046
00:49:25,880 --> 00:49:29,120
Speaker 1: a lot of like kind of this not like adulting

1047
00:49:29,360 --> 00:49:32,600
Speaker 1: or anything, but like care take her role of his

1048
00:49:32,640 --> 00:49:35,759
Speaker 1: mom and grandmother because of the loss of the son, yeah,

1049
00:49:35,840 --> 00:49:38,840
Speaker 1: or of her other son, lash his brother, and so

1050
00:49:39,000 --> 00:49:41,279
Speaker 1: like he doesn't want to like push back against her

1051
00:49:41,320 --> 00:49:41,800
Speaker 1: or anything.

1052
00:49:42,040 --> 00:49:44,880
Speaker 3: And this is pretty much the first time too that

1053
00:49:44,920 --> 00:49:49,279
Speaker 3: OPI is Yeah being basically meeting Yeah introduced over the

1054
00:49:49,280 --> 00:49:52,040
Speaker 3: phone on FaceTime. I cried after he got off the

1055
00:49:52,040 --> 00:49:54,920
Speaker 3: phone with her because I never realized how badly she

1056
00:49:55,000 --> 00:49:58,200
Speaker 3: could talk. Another time he was on the phone with her,

1057
00:49:58,480 --> 00:50:00,400
Speaker 3: he told her an idea we had that he was

1058
00:50:00,440 --> 00:50:03,320
Speaker 3: excited about, and she told him it was stupid.

1059
00:50:03,400 --> 00:50:05,839
Speaker 1: She's stupid. Don't get that other mother in lawn here.

1060
00:50:05,960 --> 00:50:08,719
Speaker 3: Get her in the ring. She's got words, Get her

1061
00:50:08,760 --> 00:50:10,920
Speaker 3: in the ring. I don't think she realized I was

1062
00:50:11,040 --> 00:50:13,920
Speaker 3: right there and can hear her, but she specifically told him,

1063
00:50:14,080 --> 00:50:16,440
Speaker 3: And this is what stuck with me. I don't care

1064
00:50:16,480 --> 00:50:19,600
Speaker 3: about your little friends on bass or your little girlfriend.

1065
00:50:19,920 --> 00:50:22,279
Speaker 3: I care about you, and I will always be your

1066
00:50:22,440 --> 00:50:24,760
Speaker 3: number one cheerleader in this life.

1067
00:50:24,920 --> 00:50:28,879
Speaker 1: Also like Emesis freaking hates you.

1068
00:50:29,160 --> 00:50:33,279
Speaker 3: Number one point of anxiety, Yeah. Stress. This took me

1069
00:50:33,320 --> 00:50:35,840
Speaker 3: aback because I felt I had been doing most of

1070
00:50:35,840 --> 00:50:38,680
Speaker 3: the cheerleading recently and all she had been doing was

1071
00:50:38,760 --> 00:50:41,160
Speaker 3: tearing him down. He got sad at that and ended

1072
00:50:41,160 --> 00:50:43,120
Speaker 3: the call with her, and I ended up comforting him

1073
00:50:43,120 --> 00:50:45,319
Speaker 3: and telling him I still thought his idea was good

1074
00:50:45,640 --> 00:50:48,359
Speaker 3: and that his intentions were good. There have been other

1075
00:50:48,400 --> 00:50:51,440
Speaker 3: insistance of them fighting and her saying terrible things to

1076
00:50:51,520 --> 00:50:55,320
Speaker 3: him by calling him by his biological father's name ooh,

1077
00:50:55,560 --> 00:50:57,840
Speaker 3: very sore spot. And he expresses the feeling that she

1078
00:50:58,120 --> 00:51:02,160
Speaker 3: only ever calls him with terrible news. For instance, someone

1079
00:51:02,200 --> 00:51:05,720
Speaker 3: passed away his step bother that he calls Dad's heart

1080
00:51:05,800 --> 00:51:08,239
Speaker 3: is not doing well, so just bad stuff. And I

1081
00:51:08,280 --> 00:51:11,319
Speaker 3: guarantee you she wants to use him as like a

1082
00:51:11,480 --> 00:51:12,440
Speaker 3: cheer me up kind of thing.

1083
00:51:12,680 --> 00:51:12,839
Speaker 4: Yeah.

1084
00:51:12,880 --> 00:51:15,759
Speaker 1: I think she just puts all that emotional turmoil on him,

1085
00:51:16,719 --> 00:51:19,560
Speaker 1: and all of her anger and frustration and stuff. He's

1086
00:51:19,600 --> 00:51:21,640
Speaker 1: like this emotional punching bag.

1087
00:51:21,800 --> 00:51:23,600
Speaker 3: I have been too scared to reach out to her

1088
00:51:23,640 --> 00:51:26,839
Speaker 3: myself after all these instances, to introduce myself and try

1089
00:51:26,880 --> 00:51:27,520
Speaker 3: to bond with her.

1090
00:51:28,000 --> 00:51:30,839
Speaker 1: But the thing is that, like she she's awful. It's

1091
00:51:30,880 --> 00:51:33,040
Speaker 1: really hard to bond with someone who's just awful.

1092
00:51:33,280 --> 00:51:35,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, and Opie is very shy herself.

1093
00:51:35,840 --> 00:51:38,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, and you have this person who just screams at

1094
00:51:38,239 --> 00:51:41,120
Speaker 1: her own son, like, I don't think it's gonna bode

1095
00:51:41,160 --> 00:51:41,680
Speaker 1: well for you.

1096
00:51:41,880 --> 00:51:43,879
Speaker 3: I feel like the one that should really introduce them

1097
00:51:43,920 --> 00:51:47,040
Speaker 3: is the son. But I feel like he's tried. Yeah, like, mom,

1098
00:51:47,080 --> 00:51:49,880
Speaker 3: this is my girlfriend, and like I don't care about her.

1099
00:51:50,200 --> 00:51:52,319
Speaker 3: I want you, who are you?

1100
00:51:52,760 --> 00:51:54,879
Speaker 1: I think he needs to make you know a lot.

1101
00:51:54,960 --> 00:51:56,920
Speaker 1: I mean, this is maybe a conversation that you can

1102
00:51:56,960 --> 00:51:58,719
Speaker 1: have with him, but I think it's you need to

1103
00:51:58,760 --> 00:52:01,160
Speaker 1: create some boundaries or he needs it's a great boundaries

1104
00:52:01,160 --> 00:52:01,600
Speaker 1: with his mom.

1105
00:52:01,680 --> 00:52:03,360
Speaker 3: This makes it even harder for him to go no

1106
00:52:03,440 --> 00:52:05,440
Speaker 3: contact with her because he's the only one left.

1107
00:52:05,600 --> 00:52:08,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, yeah, when you don't have a lot

1108
00:52:08,160 --> 00:52:10,440
Speaker 1: of family left, you kind of bond with the ones

1109
00:52:10,480 --> 00:52:15,080
Speaker 1: that you have. But she's she's not worth that, you know,

1110
00:52:15,200 --> 00:52:20,600
Speaker 1: it's not worth the pain, and just like yeah, miss mistreatment.

1111
00:52:20,800 --> 00:52:22,319
Speaker 3: He wants to marry you, and he there's a reason

1112
00:52:22,360 --> 00:52:25,560
Speaker 3: why you really haven't met. He's part of the family. Recently,

1113
00:52:25,800 --> 00:52:29,760
Speaker 3: it's gotten a lot worse. Uh oh. He has expressed

1114
00:52:29,760 --> 00:52:32,640
Speaker 3: the desire to get married, which I'm very excited about,

1115
00:52:33,040 --> 00:52:35,400
Speaker 3: and has started telling his family back home that I

1116
00:52:35,400 --> 00:52:38,200
Speaker 3: am the one he wants to be with for ever.

1117
00:52:38,640 --> 00:52:41,000
Speaker 3: This was met with overwhelming support for him, and I

1118
00:52:41,040 --> 00:52:43,480
Speaker 3: was happy his family seemed to like me, even if

1119
00:52:43,520 --> 00:52:47,440
Speaker 3: I haven't met them physically just yet. His mother seemed

1120
00:52:47,520 --> 00:52:50,480
Speaker 3: to not really care, and when he pressed her about it,

1121
00:52:50,680 --> 00:52:54,800
Speaker 3: she admitted she felt indifferent towards me. This angered my boyfriend,

1122
00:52:54,800 --> 00:52:57,200
Speaker 3: and he asked her how could she say that, because

1123
00:52:57,280 --> 00:52:59,520
Speaker 3: this is very important to him, and I'm important to

1124
00:52:59,560 --> 00:53:02,640
Speaker 3: him as well. Oh, he asked why she hadn't put

1125
00:53:02,680 --> 00:53:04,560
Speaker 3: in any effort to get to know me or even

1126
00:53:04,600 --> 00:53:08,480
Speaker 3: ask about us as a couple. She then responded that

1127
00:53:08,560 --> 00:53:10,760
Speaker 3: she was tired of being the villain in his story

1128
00:53:11,080 --> 00:53:13,160
Speaker 3: and refused to talk about it any longer.

1129
00:53:13,440 --> 00:53:15,400
Speaker 1: That's something a villain would say.

1130
00:53:15,440 --> 00:53:18,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, true villain, Yeah, true villain.

1131
00:53:18,280 --> 00:53:18,960
Speaker 1: Self aware.

1132
00:53:19,160 --> 00:53:22,120
Speaker 3: This hurt his feelings and mine because I felt that

1133
00:53:22,280 --> 00:53:25,200
Speaker 3: I tried towards the beginning to make an impression, but

1134
00:53:25,320 --> 00:53:28,759
Speaker 3: she ignored me. Since then, he's been getting phone calls

1135
00:53:28,760 --> 00:53:32,480
Speaker 3: from others in his family expressing disappointment about him fighting

1136
00:53:32,480 --> 00:53:35,839
Speaker 3: with his mother about something like this. He is now

1137
00:53:35,880 --> 00:53:37,880
Speaker 3: refusing to go see her when we plan to go

1138
00:53:37,880 --> 00:53:39,640
Speaker 3: to a state to visit the rest of his family.

1139
00:53:40,400 --> 00:53:43,920
Speaker 3: I understand things are strained, and it's inadvertly my fault.

1140
00:53:44,080 --> 00:53:46,000
Speaker 3: It is not your fault.

1141
00:53:46,400 --> 00:53:48,799
Speaker 1: She's been training him like this for much longer than

1142
00:53:48,840 --> 00:53:51,680
Speaker 1: you've been around, it seems it's not your fault.

1143
00:53:51,840 --> 00:53:53,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, she's making.

1144
00:53:52,840 --> 00:53:56,760
Speaker 1: A decision that has nothing to do I mean, like, yes,

1145
00:53:56,800 --> 00:53:58,520
Speaker 1: in part, it has something to do with you, but

1146
00:53:58,560 --> 00:54:03,239
Speaker 1: in reality, it has everything to do with your partner's

1147
00:54:03,320 --> 00:54:04,080
Speaker 1: relationship with.

1148
00:54:04,000 --> 00:54:05,759
Speaker 3: His mother A one and as she's two hundred percent,

1149
00:54:05,960 --> 00:54:07,640
Speaker 3: I feel bad for upe because I guarantee you if

1150
00:54:07,640 --> 00:54:09,319
Speaker 3: he's like, it's my fault, it's my fault, and she's

1151
00:54:09,320 --> 00:54:12,280
Speaker 3: berating him more because she loves she loves her husband

1152
00:54:12,360 --> 00:54:13,839
Speaker 3: or soon to be a husband, but she's like, it's

1153
00:54:13,840 --> 00:54:16,239
Speaker 3: my fault that he's No, it's not.

1154
00:54:15,880 --> 00:54:16,359
Speaker 1: Not at all.

1155
00:54:16,680 --> 00:54:18,640
Speaker 3: So I want to know how I can fix it.

1156
00:54:19,239 --> 00:54:21,200
Speaker 3: If there's something I can do to show her that

1157
00:54:21,280 --> 00:54:23,919
Speaker 3: I don't want any strife between her and her son.

1158
00:54:24,120 --> 00:54:26,600
Speaker 1: No, nothing, there's not You didn't do anything in the

1159
00:54:26,640 --> 00:54:28,360
Speaker 1: first place, so there's nothing that can be done to

1160
00:54:28,360 --> 00:54:29,279
Speaker 1: fix it on your end.

1161
00:54:29,360 --> 00:54:31,040
Speaker 3: Here's a therapist, Yeah, yeah.

1162
00:54:31,040 --> 00:54:34,560
Speaker 1: Therapy for your partner. Showing your partner that you are

1163
00:54:34,880 --> 00:54:37,520
Speaker 1: family and you support him and you're gonna be there

1164
00:54:37,560 --> 00:54:39,840
Speaker 1: for him in a way that his mom has not done.

1165
00:54:39,880 --> 00:54:42,000
Speaker 3: Should I steal my nerves and reach out to her?

1166
00:54:42,440 --> 00:54:45,160
Speaker 3: How do I help in a situation like this? I

1167
00:54:45,200 --> 00:54:47,800
Speaker 3: don't want him to cut contact with his mother because

1168
00:54:47,800 --> 00:54:50,560
Speaker 3: she doesn't really care for me. But I feel like

1169
00:54:50,600 --> 00:54:52,799
Speaker 3: maybe I can turn things around if we meet in

1170
00:54:52,840 --> 00:54:53,359
Speaker 3: person too.

1171
00:54:53,800 --> 00:54:57,160
Speaker 1: He's not cutting contact with his mom because she doesn't

1172
00:54:57,200 --> 00:54:59,440
Speaker 1: care for you. That's not wep. He's got like I.

1173
00:54:59,520 --> 00:55:02,160
Speaker 1: He's got it all. Oh yeah, it's not like not

1174
00:55:02,239 --> 00:55:04,839
Speaker 1: in a mean way, but it's not about you. It's

1175
00:55:04,880 --> 00:55:08,920
Speaker 1: about again, how your partner has been treated by his

1176
00:55:09,000 --> 00:55:12,880
Speaker 1: mom and it's not been good. And she's made her choices.

1177
00:55:13,000 --> 00:55:15,680
Speaker 1: She's you know, she's got to own up to her

1178
00:55:15,719 --> 00:55:17,080
Speaker 1: own actions, which you won't.

1179
00:55:17,160 --> 00:55:20,080
Speaker 3: But and I guarantee your consequences. She's going to play

1180
00:55:20,239 --> 00:55:21,560
Speaker 3: the victim card of.

1181
00:55:21,680 --> 00:55:23,319
Speaker 1: Life absolute and she'll blame it on you.

1182
00:55:24,320 --> 00:55:26,480
Speaker 3: So she reached out to me, she has the goal

1183
00:55:26,680 --> 00:55:28,400
Speaker 3: to tell me to be a better mother, or.

1184
00:55:28,480 --> 00:55:30,560
Speaker 1: Oh she didn't reach out, like she's pulling my son away.

1185
00:55:30,680 --> 00:55:33,640
Speaker 1: She's gonna blame it everything on you. That doesn't mean any.

1186
00:55:33,560 --> 00:55:35,480
Speaker 3: It's like one of those diagrams, like whatever angle it

1187
00:55:35,520 --> 00:55:37,480
Speaker 3: goes to, it's going to come back to you. Yeah,

1188
00:55:37,520 --> 00:55:40,160
Speaker 3: because she doesn't gonna be in a negative way take responsibility.

1189
00:55:40,280 --> 00:55:42,080
Speaker 3: My father says to stay out of it because she

1190
00:55:42,200 --> 00:55:45,240
Speaker 3: sounds like a self absorbed person is but I really

1191
00:55:45,280 --> 00:55:47,799
Speaker 3: don't have any experience with people of that nature. You

1192
00:55:47,840 --> 00:55:50,200
Speaker 3: don't want to have any of that. Reddit, have you

1193
00:55:50,320 --> 00:55:52,759
Speaker 3: dealt with somebody like this? What should I do? And

1194
00:55:52,800 --> 00:55:55,759
Speaker 3: there's an edit splash update. Let's go into that. I

1195
00:55:55,760 --> 00:55:58,640
Speaker 3: didn't expect the overwhelming response and feedback, so I'm glad

1196
00:55:58,680 --> 00:56:00,920
Speaker 3: to see so many people have been supportive of my

1197
00:56:01,000 --> 00:56:04,560
Speaker 3: boyfriend and giving us helpful advice. Thanks to all who

1198
00:56:04,640 --> 00:56:07,480
Speaker 3: competent it on or message me privately with advice and

1199
00:56:07,520 --> 00:56:10,040
Speaker 3: reassurance that I did not miss a social cue or

1200
00:56:10,080 --> 00:56:12,480
Speaker 3: do something wrong to cause any problems. I'm a big

1201
00:56:12,480 --> 00:56:15,480
Speaker 3: worry wart about those things. So the update is that

1202
00:56:15,520 --> 00:56:17,560
Speaker 3: we've spoken about this post, and we've looked into some

1203
00:56:17,640 --> 00:56:20,080
Speaker 3: of the terms that people mentioned, and he's seen some

1204
00:56:20,160 --> 00:56:23,920
Speaker 3: of the things people have said about narcissism. I think

1205
00:56:23,960 --> 00:56:26,440
Speaker 3: he's still processing things that his mother could actually be

1206
00:56:26,520 --> 00:56:29,360
Speaker 3: capable of hurting him this way. That's crazy that he

1207
00:56:29,400 --> 00:56:30,919
Speaker 3: hasn't noticed that at all.

1208
00:56:31,000 --> 00:56:32,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean it's hard when you when you grow

1209
00:56:33,080 --> 00:56:35,839
Speaker 1: up with that, that's really hard to notice that this

1210
00:56:35,920 --> 00:56:38,720
Speaker 1: is not normal, and then you're around people who actually

1211
00:56:38,760 --> 00:56:41,480
Speaker 1: have good family members self aware.

1212
00:56:41,719 --> 00:56:42,640
Speaker 3: He was self aware.

1213
00:56:42,840 --> 00:56:44,279
Speaker 1: Sorry to cut you off there, No, no, no, I was

1214
00:56:44,320 --> 00:56:46,920
Speaker 1: just saying, then you're around people who have good relationships

1215
00:56:46,920 --> 00:56:49,000
Speaker 1: and you're like, oh, this isn't how my mom's supposed

1216
00:56:49,040 --> 00:56:49,480
Speaker 1: to treat me.

1217
00:56:49,800 --> 00:56:52,439
Speaker 3: Yeah, he is self aware. He's like, I'm embarrassed. Yeah,

1218
00:56:52,520 --> 00:56:54,960
Speaker 3: I don't want don't be around my family. It's just

1219
00:56:55,040 --> 00:56:57,959
Speaker 3: very toxic. But yeah, that's very true. He's very angry

1220
00:56:58,000 --> 00:57:01,320
Speaker 3: at right now at her for these reasons. I've also decided,

1221
00:57:01,400 --> 00:57:03,880
Speaker 3: thanks to the comments, that there is indeed nothing I

1222
00:57:03,920 --> 00:57:06,960
Speaker 3: can do in this situation to make things better. I

1223
00:57:07,000 --> 00:57:09,880
Speaker 3: wanted to believe that maybe I could, but it definitely

1224
00:57:09,880 --> 00:57:12,960
Speaker 3: seems that no matter what I do, it wouldn't be productive.

1225
00:57:13,400 --> 00:57:16,480
Speaker 3: Like we said, we've also made a small plan regarding

1226
00:57:16,520 --> 00:57:18,240
Speaker 3: what to do when we go down to visit the

1227
00:57:18,240 --> 00:57:20,400
Speaker 3: rest of his family. In the event she is there,

1228
00:57:20,520 --> 00:57:22,400
Speaker 3: we will definitely be staying in a hotel so it

1229
00:57:22,400 --> 00:57:26,600
Speaker 3: can strategically retreat if she begins her antics. Lol, there's

1230
00:57:26,640 --> 00:57:30,600
Speaker 3: a little bit left, Sophia. I mean, we said the advice,

1231
00:57:30,720 --> 00:57:35,320
Speaker 3: Opie's taking the advice. It's just you can't. You can

1232
00:57:35,440 --> 00:57:38,000
Speaker 3: take a horse to water, you can't force them to

1233
00:57:38,120 --> 00:57:38,440
Speaker 3: drink it.

1234
00:57:38,600 --> 00:57:42,200
Speaker 1: I think that, I mean in just for Opie's you know,

1235
00:57:43,600 --> 00:57:46,360
Speaker 1: it's fine. I think when you grow up in a

1236
00:57:46,360 --> 00:57:49,440
Speaker 1: really good environment and you have people around you who

1237
00:57:49,520 --> 00:57:53,840
Speaker 1: are reasonable and you're able to solve problems through communication,

1238
00:57:54,560 --> 00:57:57,880
Speaker 1: and you've never been around a person who's so self

1239
00:57:57,920 --> 00:58:01,919
Speaker 1: absorbed and just in their own world. This you think

1240
00:58:01,920 --> 00:58:05,360
Speaker 1: that you can approach the problems that you have with

1241
00:58:05,440 --> 00:58:10,720
Speaker 1: them in a reasonable way by talking to them. You

1242
00:58:10,760 --> 00:58:15,640
Speaker 1: can't because they're not reasonable. You can't reason with unreasonable people.

1243
00:58:15,880 --> 00:58:19,040
Speaker 3: No. Again, it's like the last story, you're talking to

1244
00:58:19,160 --> 00:58:21,600
Speaker 3: like a brick wall. Yeah, it's just not worth it.

1245
00:58:22,040 --> 00:58:25,000
Speaker 3: So it's something that you have something.

1246
00:58:25,160 --> 00:58:28,720
Speaker 4: Yes, I hope he can experience unconditional love from a parent.

1247
00:58:29,680 --> 00:58:31,800
Speaker 4: He seems to need to provide something to be able

1248
00:58:31,840 --> 00:58:33,360
Speaker 4: to get the approval from his mom.

1249
00:58:33,680 --> 00:58:36,800
Speaker 1: Yeah. I mean he lost his brother. He probably has

1250
00:58:36,880 --> 00:58:38,400
Speaker 1: again that bond with his mom.

1251
00:58:38,480 --> 00:58:40,840
Speaker 3: But again there's a sore spot with his father.

1252
00:58:41,160 --> 00:58:43,880
Speaker 1: Yeah. Just yeah, let him know that you're there and

1253
00:58:43,920 --> 00:58:45,800
Speaker 1: you guys are in a partnership and that's all you do.

1254
00:58:46,000 --> 00:58:48,720
Speaker 3: Yeah, And I guarantee you that's why he's like, can

1255
00:58:48,760 --> 00:58:52,080
Speaker 3: we just do holidays with your family? And that's oh yeah,

1256
00:58:52,120 --> 00:58:55,840
Speaker 3: and that's probably like, Oh, that's what it looks like.

1257
00:58:56,200 --> 00:58:56,960
Speaker 3: That's insane.

1258
00:58:57,080 --> 00:58:57,480
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1259
00:58:57,560 --> 00:58:59,280
Speaker 3: So, and I guarantee you he wants to maybe have

1260
00:58:59,360 --> 00:59:02,000
Speaker 3: that with his mother, but it's again, you can't. You

1261
00:59:02,040 --> 00:59:05,960
Speaker 3: can't force them. Regarding our non existent but future children.

1262
00:59:06,480 --> 00:59:08,440
Speaker 3: The only reason I said I would be okay with

1263
00:59:08,600 --> 00:59:12,000
Speaker 3: seeing them is because he told me his stepdad wouldn't

1264
00:59:12,040 --> 00:59:14,400
Speaker 3: be able to see them if she didn't. And I

1265
00:59:14,440 --> 00:59:17,280
Speaker 3: don't want to deprive them of seeing any grandkids because

1266
00:59:17,280 --> 00:59:20,240
Speaker 3: he didn't do anything and has always treated my boyfriend

1267
00:59:20,400 --> 00:59:23,360
Speaker 3: as his own son. He's a nice man and it's

1268
00:59:23,400 --> 00:59:25,280
Speaker 3: not his fault. His wife is the way she is.

1269
00:59:26,080 --> 00:59:28,240
Speaker 3: I wonder at times how he fares on his own

1270
00:59:28,400 --> 00:59:30,800
Speaker 3: now that the boys have their own lives. Will definitely

1271
00:59:30,800 --> 00:59:33,920
Speaker 3: revisit this though when the time comes anyways, So trust

1272
00:59:33,960 --> 00:59:36,200
Speaker 3: that will always do what's best for us as a

1273
00:59:36,240 --> 00:59:39,040
Speaker 3: couple and our little family. When we do begin that

1274
00:59:39,120 --> 00:59:41,760
Speaker 3: journey and we have some comments, come a number one,

1275
00:59:42,360 --> 00:59:44,520
Speaker 3: you didn't cause a rift. It sounds like his mom

1276
00:59:44,720 --> 00:59:47,480
Speaker 3: looks for any reason to make herself Number one. The

1277
00:59:47,560 --> 00:59:49,600
Speaker 3: only way to be around someone like that is to

1278
00:59:49,680 --> 00:59:52,120
Speaker 3: keep a distance. If you end up marrying your boyfriend.

1279
00:59:52,480 --> 00:59:55,320
Speaker 3: You might never be liked by his mom. You're very

1280
00:59:55,360 --> 00:59:57,720
Speaker 3: young and need to have positive influences in your life.

1281
00:59:57,880 --> 00:59:59,800
Speaker 3: She doesn't sound like she would be very uplifting to

1282
01:00:00,040 --> 01:00:02,600
Speaker 3: either one of you, to be honest, and looks like

1283
01:00:03,040 --> 01:00:04,440
Speaker 3: and that's the end of that story.

1284
01:00:04,520 --> 01:00:06,560
Speaker 1: The end of that story. Yeah, I agree with that. Gee,

1285
01:00:06,760 --> 01:00:09,120
Speaker 1: you don't need it in your life. And if you

1286
01:00:09,160 --> 01:00:11,320
Speaker 1: want the stepdad in your life, then talk to him.

1287
01:00:11,360 --> 01:00:13,600
Speaker 1: I have a conversation and say, hey, don't feel comfortable

1288
01:00:13,640 --> 01:00:15,520
Speaker 1: having a mom in your life. We would love for

1289
01:00:15,560 --> 01:00:18,040
Speaker 1: you to meet the kids, but you have to make

1290
01:00:18,080 --> 01:00:19,280
Speaker 1: that own choice, your own choice.

1291
01:00:19,560 --> 01:00:23,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, it makes sense. But that is the end of

1292
01:00:23,360 --> 01:00:24,200
Speaker 3: that story.

1293
01:00:24,000 --> 01:00:26,960
Speaker 1: And it's the end of this episode. So if you

1294
01:00:27,000 --> 01:00:28,640
Speaker 1: love us, make sure to subscribe.

1295
01:00:28,800 --> 01:00:31,520
Speaker 3: We love you and see you tomorrow.