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Speaker 1: You don't hear me confession I can't take back earl arms.

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Speaker 2: Speak text to seventy five nine two says I know

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Speaker 2: this is probably terrible, but I absolutely hate it when

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Speaker 2: my best friend puts his three year old daughter on

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Speaker 2: the phone to talk to me.

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Speaker 3: Oh but they don't say much.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but I talk too much actually, so it's probably.

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Speaker 3: It's just your talking.

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Speaker 2: Wants to get off. My conversations with three year olds

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Speaker 2: never go very well. I don't know what to say.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, so, Timmy, how would you redesign the healthcare

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Speaker 2: system in America? What would you do?

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Speaker 4: Hi?

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Speaker 3: You're so fun.

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Speaker 2: I panicked, And that's why we've banned children from confessing

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Speaker 2: here on the mass speaker. It's too awkward, so grown

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Speaker 2: ups only. And we have an adult man who wants

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Speaker 2: to come clean today using the fake name Anderson. So, Anderson,

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Speaker 2: welcome to the show.

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Speaker 3: How do we know you're not an eight year old

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Speaker 3: under that voice changer?

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Speaker 2: True, I can't hear what you really sound like?

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Speaker 5: Anything possible?

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Speaker 3: Anything?

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Speaker 2: Oh?

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Speaker 3: All right?

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Speaker 2: Well, optimism, whoever you are, whatever age you are, the

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Speaker 2: voice changer is on. You are the mass speaker. Whenever

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Speaker 2: you're ready, let's hear your confession.

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Speaker 5: All right, So I graduated college, so not a spoiler.

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Speaker 2: Could have been one of those geniuses though. Ye.

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Speaker 3: Well, hey, congrats, that's cool.

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Speaker 5: Well this is a while ago. So after graduating, I

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Speaker 5: was living at home. My younger sister was like twenty,

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Speaker 5: she was living at home too. She was starting to date,

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Speaker 5: so I would meet these like weirdo guys.

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Speaker 3: That's so funny.

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Speaker 4: It always sucks dating somebody that has older siblings. I

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Speaker 4: feel like that is more pressure than meeting a parent.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I feel like that older.

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Speaker 4: Siblings are so much more judgmental than any mom or

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Speaker 4: dad could have.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, Anderson, it sounds like you were in that category.

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Speaker 5: Well, I mean maybe I'm judgemental and maybe they were

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Speaker 5: all creepy.

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Speaker 3: Maybe both they're true. Yeah.

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Speaker 5: Well I basically found out that these guys were creeps

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Speaker 5: because she told me that she had met these guys

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Speaker 5: or with meeting these guys on a dating app. So

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Speaker 5: I decided to play detective a little bit, and I

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Speaker 5: created a fake profile on this dating app. WHOA a

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Speaker 5: good looking girl named Cindy?

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Speaker 3: What A.

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Speaker 4: Yes, I see where this is going, But why what

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Speaker 4: are you trying.

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Speaker 3: To prove here?

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Speaker 2: Well, that's just what bros do.

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Speaker 3: Oh, just pretend to be women on dating app.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, oh, that's how we spend our saturdays.

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Speaker 1: I see Sabecca tonight, Tara every day.

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Speaker 3: I'm glad her to be a woman.

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Speaker 2: So, okay, why were you doing it though?

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Speaker 5: Well, so I would search for these guys that she

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Speaker 5: had brought home and try and shut them up and

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Speaker 5: test their loyalty to my sister.

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Speaker 4: But they're still in the dating app, so they're obviously

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Speaker 4: like talking to multiple people.

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Speaker 5: These were guys though, who had like said they were

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Speaker 5: in it with my sisters.

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Speaker 2: Like, yeah, this is like a couple months into the

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Speaker 2: relationship or something, Yeah.

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Speaker 5: You know, weeks, months, whatever it was. I would only

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Speaker 5: do it when my sister thought that she was like

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Speaker 5: exclusive with these people.

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Speaker 2: Okay, you're being protective brother, testing the loyalty of your

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Speaker 2: sister's new guys.

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Speaker 1: So you could step in and be like, hey, I

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Speaker 1: sent him three nudes last night.

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Speaker 2: What would happen when you would catfish these randos that

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Speaker 2: your sister was dating.

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Speaker 5: So like ninety percent of them obviously turned out to

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Speaker 5: be a piece of issue.

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Speaker 4: Oh oh, so wait, did you tell your sister that

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Speaker 4: you caught them?

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Speaker 3: Talking to Cindy. Well, this is a thing.

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Speaker 5: My sister couldn't know what I was doing. So I

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Speaker 5: had been set up with one of my sister's best

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Speaker 5: friends who was also on the app. I would forward

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Speaker 5: the conversations to her, and then she would have to

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Speaker 5: like let my sister know.

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Speaker 1: So you did all the work, and then her bestie

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Speaker 1: broke the news her friend would agree.

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Speaker 4: To do that.

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Speaker 5: Well, the friend knew it was me, but you promised

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Speaker 5: you could tell my sister like we were both looking

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Speaker 5: out for her, kind of tag team. Oh, I thought

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Speaker 5: you'd make Cyndy a fake instant and then DM from that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, just like, hey, girl, are you talking to

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Speaker 1: this guy?

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Speaker 2: This is why the man are terrible? We need you.

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Speaker 3: This is wild?

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Speaker 5: Are you not?

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Speaker 3: Like if anybody did this to.

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Speaker 1: Me relationship without you knowing, it's not a good thing.

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Speaker 3: So did your sister dump these guys or what? Yeah?

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Speaker 5: I mean eventually she dump them all. The weirdest one, though,

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Speaker 5: was she was seeing a guy for like a month,

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Speaker 5: and so I found his profile and started talking to him.

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Speaker 5: And after I was talking to him for a while,

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Speaker 5: I thought he was like a cool guy, Like I

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Speaker 5: didn't hate him.

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Speaker 3: Oh, Okay, Cindy fell in love with him.

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Speaker 5: What he would still try to cheat on my sister,

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Speaker 5: But I enjoyed talking to him, so I was trying

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Speaker 5: to kind of like convince him not to cheat.

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Speaker 3: He's on the app.

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Speaker 2: Oh, this must be a real conflict in your mind

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Speaker 2: where you're realizing that you're talking to someone who's being unfaithful,

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Speaker 2: but at the same time you like them. You like,

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Speaker 2: break it with my sister, but be my friend.

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Speaker 3: They're only together for a month.

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Speaker 5: I mean, well, he was talking to other girls, but

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Speaker 5: you're so chill and be like, well, don't cheat them.

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Speaker 5: Stay with your girlfriend. She seems cool.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and her brother seems cool too. You should hang

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Speaker 2: out with him. Yeah, give him some money.

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Speaker 3: So is this guy now your brother in law? No?

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Speaker 5: No, no, so I I even had tried to like.

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Speaker 3: Refer him to a therapist or something.

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Speaker 5: Didn't work, so she jumped him too.

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Speaker 2: Oh I'm sorry, man.

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Speaker 3: Is your sister single still?

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Speaker 2: No?

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Speaker 5: So it does have a happy well two happy endings.

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Speaker 5: One happy ending is she never knows I did any

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Speaker 5: of this. But then the other happy ending is she

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Speaker 5: has met a good guy in real life that she's

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Speaker 5: seeing now.

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Speaker 1: Okay, Well, that's good, and you didn't get involved at all?

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Speaker 5: Uh not it? Okay, you need like a hobby, or

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Speaker 5: like a girlfriend, or like something.

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Speaker 2: Cat Fishing randalls on the internet is a hobby like this.

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Speaker 2: If you want to be really good at it, you can.

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Speaker 4: At this point, you might as well just hook up

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Speaker 4: with your sister's best friend, because obviously you two had

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Speaker 4: something going.

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Speaker 2: Oh you know, did you ever reconnect with that guy

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Speaker 2: that you didn't totally hate?

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Speaker 5: No? I don't know what happened to him, but my

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Speaker 5: sister is friends with that girl and she is hot.

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Speaker 3: Okay, okay, all.

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Speaker 2: Right, Well this is a skill that you can keep

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Speaker 2: in your back pocket busted out in case you need

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Speaker 2: it somewhere down the road. I guess makes sense sense.

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Speaker 3: Any guy who's ever been hit on by a Cindy

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Speaker 3: now is.

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Speaker 2: Well good that you're looking out for your sister. At

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Speaker 2: least we could say that, I don't know. Yes, yeah,

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Speaker 2: she ended up with a good guy.

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Speaker 4: I know, But maybe let's just do it in a

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Speaker 4: more honest fashion from now on.

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Speaker 3: Just tell your sister, hey, I think this guy.

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Speaker 2: We'll put those thoughts in our listeners heads. Yeah, text

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Speaker 2: in seven eight five nine too. If you have a

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Speaker 2: confession you've been holding on to. We can hide your identity,

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Speaker 2: mask your voice, and make you our next mass speaker.

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Speaker 2: Your phone taps coming up right after this

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Speaker 3: Brooking Jeffrey in the morning.