WEBVTT - A Divide In The Sister Wives with Meri Brown 0:00:13.039 --> 0:00:16.320 Welcome back everyone to I Do Part two. It's your 0:00:16.360 --> 0:00:18.720 hosts Amy and TJ. And we are going to jump 0:00:18.840 --> 0:00:22.799 right back into our fascinating conversation with Mary Brown from 0:00:22.840 --> 0:00:23.599 Sister Wives. 0:00:24.160 --> 0:00:27.640 It's one thing to get divorced. 0:00:27.640 --> 0:00:32.040 That's hard enough from one person, but you also got 0:00:32.040 --> 0:00:34.760 divorced from your sister wives in a sense too. Or 0:00:34.840 --> 0:00:36.879 would it feel like that? How would you describe what 0:00:37.120 --> 0:00:41.320 that transition has been like? These are women who were 0:00:41.320 --> 0:00:44.600 your sister wives, who you lived with, who you worked with, 0:00:44.720 --> 0:00:46.920 and who Yeah, I mean what what? 0:00:47.400 --> 0:00:48.560 What's that relationship? 0:00:48.600 --> 0:00:48.680 Like? 0:00:48.880 --> 0:00:53.000 A really interesting situation because each one of us need 0:00:53.040 --> 0:00:57.200 to and have the right to live our lives that 0:00:57.360 --> 0:01:00.600 is authentic to us and live in alignment to us, 0:01:00.880 --> 0:01:06.119 right And for me, really embracing the fact and accepting 0:01:06.160 --> 0:01:10.880 the fact that what aligns with me is not everybody 0:01:10.880 --> 0:01:15.480 in my family, right. It just doesn't. And it took 0:01:15.600 --> 0:01:18.800 me a while to really be able to come to 0:01:18.920 --> 0:01:23.280 accept that I don't have to have relationships with everybody 0:01:23.360 --> 0:01:26.160 in the family, nor do I want to. There are 0:01:26.200 --> 0:01:29.360 some that I absolutely choose I will not. It's not 0:01:29.520 --> 0:01:33.440 healthy for me, you know, It's it's just not it's 0:01:33.440 --> 0:01:38.720 not healthy. And so really just kind of embracing that 0:01:39.040 --> 0:01:44.560 is heartbreaking on a level, but also it's the best 0:01:44.600 --> 0:01:46.800 for me, and it's the best for them too, you know, 0:01:46.880 --> 0:01:50.040 because I know some of them have I'm not healthy 0:01:50.080 --> 0:01:54.080 for them either, right, And that's okay, that's okay. It 0:01:54.960 --> 0:01:57.520 just because we were in the same family doesn't mean 0:01:57.560 --> 0:02:01.080 we have to spend our whole lives together as friends. 0:02:01.680 --> 0:02:07.800 So you and Christine are now don't talk. Okay. That's 0:02:07.640 --> 0:02:10.840 so much different from good is there have you? 0:02:12.200 --> 0:02:14.440 But there's like, on my part, I don't know about her. 0:02:14.480 --> 0:02:17.880 On my part, there's no hate. I just don't choose 0:02:17.960 --> 0:02:19.040 to have her in my life. 0:02:19.680 --> 0:02:19.960 You know. 0:02:20.040 --> 0:02:22.040 It's just it's not healthy and it's not safe for 0:02:22.120 --> 0:02:23.200 me emotionally. 0:02:23.480 --> 0:02:25.760 Well, she agreed that you're the same for her, like 0:02:25.840 --> 0:02:29.000 you're not emotionally health and Lena, yeah, I think so. 0:02:29.160 --> 0:02:32.280 I think are just because we have had some really 0:02:32.280 --> 0:02:34.680 good times. But I think our values just don't ALIGNE. 0:02:35.280 --> 0:02:37.880 I know our values don't ALIGNE. There's certain things that 0:02:37.919 --> 0:02:41.080 I want and I need in a relationship and she 0:02:41.360 --> 0:02:44.359 absolutely doesn't have that. And I believe the same thing 0:02:44.880 --> 0:02:48.480 for her. She needs and want certain things in a relationship, 0:02:48.520 --> 0:02:51.000 and I don't have that for her, So for us, 0:02:51.080 --> 0:02:53.239 I think it's just best to just I mean, we 0:02:53.680 --> 0:02:56.240 could be cordial to each other if we ran into 0:02:56.240 --> 0:02:58.160 each other. You know, It's not like we're going to 0:02:58.400 --> 0:03:00.400 scratch each other's eyes out or anything like that, but 0:03:00.480 --> 0:03:02.840 we just on a daily basis. We're not going to 0:03:02.840 --> 0:03:04.160 be in others' lives. 0:03:04.639 --> 0:03:10.560 I tune in for that though, not kidding. I'm not 0:03:10.600 --> 0:03:13.760 advocating for two women going at it physically on a show, 0:03:13.919 --> 0:03:16.040 obviously not. I want to ask you have said this 0:03:16.080 --> 0:03:19.720 a couple of times about whether it's Cody, whether it's Christine, 0:03:19.760 --> 0:03:24.880 that you as what your your principles don't align anymore, 0:03:26.000 --> 0:03:28.440 but it sounds like some of youst certainly you and 0:03:28.480 --> 0:03:31.240 Cody might have started with the same ones. Am I 0:03:31.320 --> 0:03:35.240 hearing right that maybe you have grown in a different 0:03:35.600 --> 0:03:38.080 place and you don't want to be where they are anymore. 0:03:38.120 --> 0:03:39.840 I'm not saying they don't have growth, but they still 0:03:39.880 --> 0:03:42.840 some of their principles and being in religion and spiritual 0:03:42.840 --> 0:03:46.200 marriages and all. Did you just grow out of that 0:03:46.360 --> 0:03:50.480 community or did they change in some way as well? 0:03:51.440 --> 0:03:54.640 I think that we all have changed in some way, 0:03:54.720 --> 0:03:58.320 and so our paths are just different. Not one is 0:03:58.360 --> 0:04:01.480 better than the other, are just different, and they just 0:04:01.840 --> 0:04:06.040 like it just doesn't work. It just doesn't work. And 0:04:06.240 --> 0:04:08.000 you know, there was a lot of a lot of 0:04:08.080 --> 0:04:10.280 years that I thought, you know, where I was like 0:04:10.320 --> 0:04:13.440 separating myself from the religious structure. It's like, Okay, I 0:04:13.440 --> 0:04:17.040 don't believe in in the teachings. I don't believe in 0:04:17.120 --> 0:04:21.919 like that whatever it is that they were promoting, especially 0:04:21.960 --> 0:04:24.440 even in the polygamy aspect of it. But we're still 0:04:24.480 --> 0:04:27.280 a family. To me, it didn't matter the fact that 0:04:27.839 --> 0:04:31.400 we however we came together. We are a family now. 0:04:32.000 --> 0:04:34.520 And even though I didn't believe in the church structure, 0:04:34.680 --> 0:04:37.159 I didn't believe that well just because we don't believe 0:04:37.200 --> 0:04:39.080 in that we should break up a family. And so 0:04:39.200 --> 0:04:42.120 for me, I felt like and I worked for a 0:04:42.120 --> 0:04:44.240 long time, and I think that Janelle and Christine did 0:04:44.320 --> 0:04:49.800 as well, you know, weren't to make that family structure work. 0:04:50.480 --> 0:04:52.520 It's you know, it's not healthy to be in a 0:04:52.880 --> 0:04:56.039 relationship where you're not loved, you're not valued. You know, 0:04:56.080 --> 0:04:58.560 when you're told that, you know it was all a 0:04:58.640 --> 0:05:01.800 lie and the he never loved you and everything was 0:05:01.839 --> 0:05:04.360 fake anyway, you know what I mean, it's like, well, okay, 0:05:04.440 --> 0:05:05.880 then that's not good for me. 0:05:05.960 --> 0:05:07.960 Yeah, did Cody give you any reason to even want 0:05:08.000 --> 0:05:08.240 to stay? 0:05:08.240 --> 0:05:10.599 If someone says, not only was it a mistake, but 0:05:10.640 --> 0:05:15.440 I never loved you that that's kind of black and white, like, yeah, 0:05:15.520 --> 0:05:16.520 what else would you do with that? 0:05:16.640 --> 0:05:19.160 And when he started saying those things that he never 0:05:19.240 --> 0:05:23.760 loved me, and and you know it just like I'm like, 0:05:23.800 --> 0:05:27.000 you know what, I'm worth more than that, and I'm 0:05:27.040 --> 0:05:29.600 not going to stay here just for the sake of 0:05:30.160 --> 0:05:33.240 we one time had a marriage, you know what I mean? 0:05:33.360 --> 0:05:35.320 Do you believe that? Do you believe that he never 0:05:35.400 --> 0:05:36.360 loved you? 0:05:36.400 --> 0:05:39.159 No, I don't. I think that he loved me to 0:05:39.240 --> 0:05:43.520 the best of his ability at that time. And I 0:05:43.560 --> 0:05:47.280 think that's one of the things that just changed and shifted. 0:05:47.800 --> 0:05:48.560 Yeah, I mean it did. 0:05:48.880 --> 0:05:52.360 It's I can't even imagine, Like relationships are hard enough anyway, 0:05:52.360 --> 0:05:55.040 but you're bringing other people into the relationship. 0:05:55.200 --> 0:05:57.560 Just the dynamics that that creates, it. 0:05:57.480 --> 0:06:00.440 Does it brings a lot of you know, there's there's 0:06:00.480 --> 0:06:03.279 definitely a lot of dynamics. It's funny. So many people 0:06:03.279 --> 0:06:06.760 have asked through the years as we've done interviews or 0:06:06.839 --> 0:06:09.000 just you know, random people on social media. I don't 0:06:09.000 --> 0:06:11.520 know how you can't be jealous. Nobody said I wasn't. 0:06:12.080 --> 0:06:15.680 Nobody said I wasn't. I've been very jealous. I've had 0:06:15.720 --> 0:06:20.599 a lot of emotions, and I haven't necessarily handled my 0:06:20.680 --> 0:06:23.960 emotions the right way, none of them. 0:06:24.040 --> 0:06:25.679 Nobody does. Nobody does. 0:06:26.120 --> 0:06:26.320 You know? 0:06:26.440 --> 0:06:28.400 You do the best that you can in the situation 0:06:28.520 --> 0:06:31.479 that you're in. And when you when you what is 0:06:31.520 --> 0:06:33.679 it when you know better? You do better? 0:06:34.120 --> 0:06:34.320 You know? 0:06:35.080 --> 0:06:39.440 And it's like, so like we don't. I didn't handle 0:06:39.960 --> 0:06:45.240 emotions correct and I feel like I handle my emotions 0:06:45.279 --> 0:06:49.599 better now, like I have tools now, like if I 0:06:49.680 --> 0:06:51.760 need a scream, if I need you know, I'm still 0:06:51.800 --> 0:06:53.320 going to scream, but it's going to be in my 0:06:53.400 --> 0:06:56.200 car alone rather than ask somebody. You know what I mean? 0:06:57.760 --> 0:07:00.000 Yes, that is that is healthy. That is healthy. 0:07:00.080 --> 0:07:01.520 Doesn't make the show sound as good. 0:07:02.839 --> 0:07:06.400 It doesn't. It doesn't. I don't try the drama. 0:07:06.560 --> 0:07:20.720 So, Mary, I know that you're obviously aware that Christine 0:07:21.400 --> 0:07:22.560 just came out with a memoir. 0:07:23.480 --> 0:07:25.280 Have you read it? Are you going to read it? 0:07:25.440 --> 0:07:26.760 Any desire to read it? 0:07:27.040 --> 0:07:30.360 I have not read it and I probably won't. I 0:07:31.480 --> 0:07:35.640 I can't say that I lived it with her because 0:07:35.800 --> 0:07:41.280 my life experience was different than her life experience. Because 0:07:41.440 --> 0:07:44.480 of our different life experiences. Even though they were in 0:07:44.520 --> 0:07:47.360 the same life, many of the things that she's I'm 0:07:47.400 --> 0:07:51.920 sure talking about we had the same history, we had, 0:07:51.960 --> 0:07:55.960 we lived the same experiences. Our perspectives are completely different. 0:07:56.680 --> 0:08:00.720 And so what she's writing about is her perspective on it, 0:08:01.600 --> 0:08:06.240 and it's one hundred percent valid to her, you know 0:08:06.280 --> 0:08:08.360 what I mean. So I don't want to read it 0:08:09.320 --> 0:08:12.560 and be upset potentially at some of the things and 0:08:12.600 --> 0:08:14.960 be like, well, wait a second, that's how it happened, 0:08:15.360 --> 0:08:20.240 because that wouldn't be fair because in my perspective, it 0:08:20.360 --> 0:08:22.920 happened different, or maybe there was a little bit of 0:08:22.960 --> 0:08:25.840 a shift or whatever. Right, Like, even in this conversation 0:08:25.960 --> 0:08:28.200 that you guys are having with me right now, you're 0:08:28.200 --> 0:08:31.080 going to walk away from this conversation, even though we're 0:08:31.080 --> 0:08:34.400 both in it with a different perspective, Right, You're going 0:08:34.440 --> 0:08:38.440 to remember different key points because that's what's important to 0:08:38.480 --> 0:08:40.439 you about it, and something else is going to be 0:08:40.480 --> 0:08:43.400 different and important to me about it. So when she 0:08:43.520 --> 0:08:48.280 and I had these these experiences that were the same, 0:08:48.640 --> 0:08:53.880 we took something different from the experience so it's valid 0:08:53.880 --> 0:08:55.760 for her, one hundred percent valid for her. 0:08:56.120 --> 0:08:58.160 Mary, is this definitely a part of your growth? Do 0:08:58.240 --> 0:09:01.640 you think anyway, nineteen twenty twenty, even thirty year old 0:09:01.679 --> 0:09:03.960 Mary would be able to have a conversation about the 0:09:04.000 --> 0:09:07.120 guy she just divorced, and you were saying very kind things. 0:09:07.160 --> 0:09:09.160 He's not a bad guy. I believe he loved me. 0:09:09.200 --> 0:09:11.679 You didn't have a negative word to say, Christine. Now 0:09:11.720 --> 0:09:14.240 writing a book in which he is expected to certainly 0:09:14.320 --> 0:09:16.640 bash you in some way, form or fashion. But you 0:09:17.000 --> 0:09:19.640 even saying now that you know what that is her 0:09:19.720 --> 0:09:23.120 take her perspective and I respect it. What is that? 0:09:23.280 --> 0:09:25.760 And how can other people get there? Because that I 0:09:25.760 --> 0:09:27.960 didn't know you before? But that sounds like a woman 0:09:27.960 --> 0:09:28.680 who has grown. 0:09:29.480 --> 0:09:33.040 Thank you. I really appreciate that. I really do, and 0:09:33.080 --> 0:09:38.400 it's something that yes, I've I've had to grow into 0:09:38.440 --> 0:09:40.840 this part of me. I really learned that part of 0:09:40.880 --> 0:09:46.080 me and that part of humanness that our experiences are different, 0:09:46.120 --> 0:09:50.240 even though there's the same, they're different and just allow 0:09:50.360 --> 0:09:53.320 other people to have that experience. Right, So, yeah, I 0:09:53.360 --> 0:09:55.000 do think that that is part of my growth. 0:09:55.440 --> 0:09:57.880 I'm curious, Yes, congratulations on that. 0:09:57.960 --> 0:10:02.120 What motivated you to grow what usually people I don't 0:10:02.120 --> 0:10:04.480 see a lot of times people hit rock bottom. They 0:10:04.520 --> 0:10:09.640 get so uncomfortable that it's either stay and suffer or grow. 0:10:10.120 --> 0:10:11.199 Was there a moment like. 0:10:11.160 --> 0:10:13.160 That for you where you had to make that choice? 0:10:13.280 --> 0:10:16.920 I don't know that it was one specific defining moment 0:10:17.080 --> 0:10:21.360 obviously ten years ago. Everybody knows my dark my dark 0:10:21.440 --> 0:10:24.160 moments in my life, right, So I had I had 0:10:24.760 --> 0:10:27.439 a really dark time in my life, but it had 0:10:27.480 --> 0:10:31.400 been going downhill for a while, like it had. And 0:10:33.080 --> 0:10:35.160 I guess we could say that was maybe my rock 0:10:35.200 --> 0:10:37.720 bottom and I needed to figure out how to get 0:10:37.720 --> 0:10:40.280 out of that. But I really started, I would say 0:10:40.280 --> 0:10:43.959 probably five or six years ago, like you know, I 0:10:44.679 --> 0:10:47.280 had a personal mentor, and I started doing you know, 0:10:47.360 --> 0:10:50.640 some business retreats and some personal retreats and just like 0:10:51.160 --> 0:10:55.480 figuring me out. And this is before I was even 0:10:55.520 --> 0:10:58.320 talking about divorce, right, And I just needed to figure 0:10:58.360 --> 0:11:01.240 out who I was. I wanted to do with my 0:11:01.360 --> 0:11:06.440 life separate from my marriage that had, for all intents 0:11:06.480 --> 0:11:09.440 and purposes, had been non existent. But I wanted to 0:11:09.720 --> 0:11:12.040 make my life as full as I could, and so 0:11:12.280 --> 0:11:18.920 I started investing in myself, like financially, education, reading, I 0:11:19.040 --> 0:11:26.720 read I don't read books. I audible books. Audible is 0:11:26.760 --> 0:11:30.400 so much easier, and I can multitask and drive and 0:11:30.440 --> 0:11:32.440 listen to a good book at the same time. And 0:11:32.480 --> 0:11:35.559 it's rarely a novel, right Like I don't do novels. 0:11:35.559 --> 0:11:39.920 I do like the personal development or the financial or 0:11:39.960 --> 0:11:44.040 the education, those kinds of things, because I think that 0:11:44.040 --> 0:11:48.600 that growth and learning is very important. And I've noticed 0:11:48.640 --> 0:11:52.199 that as I put more of that positive into my brain, 0:11:53.320 --> 0:11:57.640 then I'm more positive and I'm more you know, like 0:11:58.120 --> 0:12:00.680 I have a better outlook on life. You look, you 0:12:00.840 --> 0:12:03.840 find what you're looking for. And if you're looking for 0:12:04.280 --> 0:12:07.320 the bad and the hate and the anger, and you 0:12:07.360 --> 0:12:08.959 know what I mean, if you're looking for that, you're 0:12:09.000 --> 0:12:11.559 gonna find it. You will find you will find it. 0:12:11.840 --> 0:12:13.839 We just were talking about this yesterday. That's why we're 0:12:13.880 --> 0:12:16.480 kind of not Yeah, I don't want. 0:12:16.320 --> 0:12:19.839 To find it, like it's there and come across. I'm 0:12:19.880 --> 0:12:21.680 not gonna look for it. I know, look for the good. 0:12:22.520 --> 0:12:25.360 You know, the growth that you're talking about. And you 0:12:25.760 --> 0:12:28.440 use that word investing in myself, and you say even 0:12:28.480 --> 0:12:31.960 financially investing in yourself. But we're human beings and we 0:12:32.000 --> 0:12:36.000 all have this no matter what an inherent desire for companionship. 0:12:36.559 --> 0:12:38.640 How important is it. I know you said you're single, 0:12:38.679 --> 0:12:41.600 not not dating anybody exclusively, but I know it's still 0:12:41.600 --> 0:12:46.120 pretty recent from your spiritual divorce. But right now sitting here, 0:12:46.160 --> 0:12:49.880 how important is it to you to have a partner, 0:12:49.960 --> 0:12:51.320 to have a life partner, a companion? 0:12:51.480 --> 0:12:53.880 It is very important to me. It's something that I want. 0:12:54.720 --> 0:12:58.040 I would love to have a companion, somebody that I 0:12:58.080 --> 0:13:00.640 can just you know, shoot a text to or you know, 0:13:00.679 --> 0:13:02.400 come home but to at the end of the night 0:13:02.440 --> 0:13:06.280 and just just have my person. But it's not so 0:13:06.360 --> 0:13:11.319 important to me that I will let go of myself 0:13:12.120 --> 0:13:15.400 to find it. So I just I feel like that 0:13:16.120 --> 0:13:20.560 my person will attract to me when the time is right, 0:13:20.600 --> 0:13:24.640 and when the person is right, you know. And I'm like, 0:13:24.679 --> 0:13:27.000 I'm not gonna just take anybody. 0:13:27.320 --> 0:13:30.040 What advice would you have for a listener or not 0:13:30.280 --> 0:13:34.520 someone who finds themselves starting over, but someone starting out. 0:13:34.679 --> 0:13:36.800 You were nineteen when you got married, You went through 0:13:36.840 --> 0:13:38.800 so much growth and you're a different person. Now, what 0:13:38.880 --> 0:13:41.640 would you tell somebody who's nineteen, twenty twenty one, twenty two, 0:13:41.640 --> 0:13:45.719 a young woman who is not quite done developing? What 0:13:45.760 --> 0:13:48.800 would you what advice would you give or even warning 0:13:48.840 --> 0:13:51.680 signs if that's what it called, but even encouragement maybe 0:13:51.960 --> 0:13:54.480 to not be in a position to where you end 0:13:54.559 --> 0:13:58.600 up forty fifty and go, ah, this is who I 0:13:58.640 --> 0:14:00.640 am and this is who I have grown into and 0:14:00.679 --> 0:14:02.560 now I'm starting over. You do you know what I'm saying? 0:14:02.920 --> 0:14:05.480 How can or is it even possible? Brof you could 0:14:05.480 --> 0:14:07.840 tell me this as well, that's not how it works. 0:14:08.080 --> 0:14:10.040 You got to go through that hell and maybe that's 0:14:10.240 --> 0:14:12.480 it both through life. You got to go through it. 0:14:12.520 --> 0:14:16.440 You have to. You have to. You have to own it, 0:14:16.559 --> 0:14:18.920 you have to embrace it, and you have to you 0:14:19.040 --> 0:14:22.360 have to excuse to do it. You have to screw up, 0:14:22.400 --> 0:14:25.920 and you're nobody's going to listen to any advice at 0:14:25.920 --> 0:14:28.280 anybody else. I mean, it's so true. It's a good point, 0:14:28.360 --> 0:14:32.800 but they have they have to live it. Like people 0:14:32.880 --> 0:14:35.960 ask me all the time. Do you regret marrying Cody? 0:14:36.000 --> 0:14:38.800 Do you regret polygamy? Do you regret TV show? Do 0:14:38.840 --> 0:14:43.960 you regret you know? Your sister wives? And no, I 0:14:43.960 --> 0:14:47.000 don't regret any of it because I am who I 0:14:47.040 --> 0:14:50.720 am today because of those experiences, I might be a 0:14:51.360 --> 0:14:54.240 very well likely would be a different person, and I 0:14:54.320 --> 0:14:56.640 might have liked that person had I not gone through 0:14:56.680 --> 0:14:59.920 those experiences, but I will never know what that person 0:15:00.080 --> 0:15:03.680 would be without those experiences. But I really really like 0:15:03.760 --> 0:15:07.440 who I am, and so one hundred percent I don't 0:15:07.480 --> 0:15:10.520 regret those experiences because it made me who I am. 0:15:10.920 --> 0:15:14.680 So I think if if we can look at our 0:15:14.800 --> 0:15:17.920 lives like it's just an experience. And you know, I 0:15:17.960 --> 0:15:21.080 was talking to somebody recently and she was like, yeah, 0:15:21.160 --> 0:15:25.440 but I don't know which decision to make on the situation, 0:15:26.160 --> 0:15:28.240 and it's like, well, just make one, it doesn't matter. 0:15:28.280 --> 0:15:31.200 But what if I choose the wrong one, then you 0:15:31.480 --> 0:15:34.600 make a different decision after that. You're not going to 0:15:34.720 --> 0:15:36.720 know it's the wrong one until you do it and 0:15:36.760 --> 0:15:39.800 you get into it, and maybe neither of them are wrong. 0:15:39.840 --> 0:15:42.000 They're just going to take you on different paths. 0:15:42.560 --> 0:15:42.800 Yep. 0:15:43.160 --> 0:15:44.680 It's just where are you going to go with it? 0:15:44.720 --> 0:15:45.880 What are you going to do with it? 0:15:46.440 --> 0:15:48.000 You get to a certain place in your life and 0:15:48.440 --> 0:15:51.680 it clicks, it all makes sense. I'm curious with the 0:15:51.760 --> 0:15:55.000 journey you had on Sister Wives, did you get any 0:15:56.000 --> 0:16:00.240 lasting friendships like sisterhood? Any of the sister wife and 0:16:00.320 --> 0:16:04.520 you have a bond that can't be broken. How would 0:16:04.520 --> 0:16:07.119 you describe like, Uh, now, we don't. 0:16:06.960 --> 0:16:08.560 Know no one, no. 0:16:09.080 --> 0:16:12.040 Did you have hopes that that could change in the future. 0:16:12.840 --> 0:16:17.160 I am always open to healing relationships. I am always 0:16:17.280 --> 0:16:22.120 open to having the heart conversations, because conversations are going 0:16:22.200 --> 0:16:26.160 to have to be hard, especially in our family, if 0:16:26.200 --> 0:16:31.400 we want to move forward and heal anything and have 0:16:31.480 --> 0:16:33.840 any sort of relationship, They're going to have to be 0:16:33.920 --> 0:16:37.600 heard conversations because I have my boundaries now that I 0:16:37.600 --> 0:16:40.520 didn't used to have. And I think that's one of 0:16:40.560 --> 0:16:43.640 the things that some of the people in my family 0:16:43.680 --> 0:16:46.600 are recognizing about me, that I have boundaries and I'm 0:16:46.600 --> 0:16:49.240 not going to lay over and be walked all over anymore. 0:16:49.640 --> 0:16:54.440 I've always had I've always had a very strong voice, 0:16:54.640 --> 0:16:56.000 but I know how to use it now. 0:16:58.160 --> 0:17:00.280 Always had a strong voice. We heard that about to you. 0:17:00.280 --> 0:17:03.360 If somebody keeps telling us you're a lot, we heard it. 0:17:04.800 --> 0:17:09.199 We heard it from you. So you're telling us you 0:17:09.240 --> 0:17:12.240 and Robin, you and Janelle those relationships, you know said 0:17:12.280 --> 0:17:14.159 not great now? But how much are we going to 0:17:14.160 --> 0:17:16.879 see any difficult conversations in the upcoming season? What do 0:17:16.920 --> 0:17:17.320 we see? 0:17:18.160 --> 0:17:23.000 I think we'll see some interactions and you know, maybe 0:17:23.000 --> 0:17:25.240 a little bit of healing and maybe a little bit 0:17:25.280 --> 0:17:30.400 of struggles, because I mean, if we're not doing that, 0:17:30.480 --> 0:17:34.440 then we're not cinceterized, you know what I mean. 0:17:35.160 --> 0:17:41.600 Don't last fifteen seasons by having high tea. 0:17:40.320 --> 0:17:54.080 Conflict cells, that is for sure. Do you want to 0:17:54.119 --> 0:17:55.720 get married again? 0:17:56.040 --> 0:18:00.399 I would love to get married, Yes I would, but 0:18:00.480 --> 0:18:03.040 only to the right person. That's for me. I'm not 0:18:03.160 --> 0:18:05.399 going again. I'm not going to just jump into a 0:18:05.440 --> 0:18:10.520 marriage that just because I want to have a marriage, right, 0:18:10.720 --> 0:18:15.760 Like this person is like, well, we'll figure things out. 0:18:15.840 --> 0:18:18.600 We'll figure out if the we're the right person, you know, 0:18:18.760 --> 0:18:21.520 like Cody and I jumped into our marriage really quickly, 0:18:22.400 --> 0:18:25.840 and like I knew him for two months at the 0:18:25.880 --> 0:18:28.399 time that we got engaged, and then we're engaged for 0:18:28.440 --> 0:18:31.160 four months, you know what I mean, like six months 0:18:31.240 --> 0:18:33.200 from the time we met to the time we got married. 0:18:33.240 --> 0:18:34.320 I'm not doing that again. 0:18:35.560 --> 0:18:37.640 I have a similar experience. Yes, and we were both 0:18:37.720 --> 0:18:41.239 child brides and grooms. So we get it. We get it. 0:18:41.280 --> 0:18:42.919 You just you don't know what you don't know. 0:18:43.080 --> 0:18:45.000 We want to clear that up. 0:18:45.119 --> 0:18:49.800 I think that for me, coming from a religious culture, 0:18:49.880 --> 0:18:55.440 that really promoted and taught you get married quick, because 0:18:56.119 --> 0:18:58.439 you know, I mean, that's the thing to do. You 0:18:58.480 --> 0:18:59.919 want to get married and then you want to have 0:19:00.040 --> 0:19:04.200 all these babies and then you know your exaltation is set, 0:19:04.480 --> 0:19:07.480 you know what I mean. And so that's really what 0:19:07.600 --> 0:19:12.600 they taught in our church culture, and that's not what 0:19:12.800 --> 0:19:15.439 I agree with. Now. 0:19:15.520 --> 0:19:18.479 So Mary, you said you wanted to Definitely you had 0:19:18.480 --> 0:19:21.000 a quick answer, Yes, want to get married again. So 0:19:21.200 --> 0:19:23.000 let us know and on this look on I do 0:19:23.119 --> 0:19:26.359 part two on this podcast, we have made some love connections. 0:19:26.400 --> 0:19:28.800 Now I'm not saying we're going to put your number 0:19:28.840 --> 0:19:33.120 out there too, huh So yeah, So what I'm saying is, Mary, 0:19:33.160 --> 0:19:36.080 you have an opportunity. I am curious. What are you 0:19:36.200 --> 0:19:41.240 looking for? What type of guy? Characteristics, background, height, whatever, 0:19:41.520 --> 0:19:42.720 What are you looking for? 0:19:42.960 --> 0:19:47.320 Okay, I'm looking for a very nice, charismatic man who's 0:19:47.440 --> 0:19:50.240 very confident in who he is, not cocky, but confident. 0:19:52.080 --> 0:19:58.480 Somebody who knows who he is, is successful in business, 0:19:58.480 --> 0:20:01.960 whether it's his own or or he works for somebody. 0:20:01.960 --> 0:20:05.040 I don't care if somebody successful and matches my energy 0:20:05.800 --> 0:20:09.040 like I travel, he doesn't have to travel with me, 0:20:09.119 --> 0:20:11.440 but I would love for him to travel with me sometimes, 0:20:11.480 --> 0:20:13.080 but I would love for him to be okay if 0:20:13.119 --> 0:20:16.640 I have to go do work and be okay with 0:20:16.800 --> 0:20:22.560 me not around, you know, but also can cheer me 0:20:22.640 --> 0:20:26.640 on in my business building and my ventures and allow 0:20:26.720 --> 0:20:28.879 me to cheer him on in his as well. They 0:20:28.920 --> 0:20:31.320 don't have to be the same, but we need to 0:20:31.359 --> 0:20:32.120 support each other. 0:20:32.800 --> 0:20:38.640 She just described me perfectly in describing what she wants, 0:20:39.080 --> 0:20:42.000 except for the cocky and confident. I'm more cocky than confident. 0:20:43.080 --> 0:20:46.120 That's where you lost me. Yeah, nobody would have confident. 0:20:46.359 --> 0:20:51.960 He's cocky, but just the right amount of cocky, just 0:20:52.080 --> 0:20:53.640 enough to be like, that's interesting. 0:20:54.480 --> 0:20:55.080 Why is he so? 0:20:55.400 --> 0:20:59.240 Why does he like himself so much? Maybe I should 0:20:59.240 --> 0:21:03.399 find out? Would you date younger? I highly suggest just 0:21:03.480 --> 0:21:04.240 having lived that. 0:21:04.320 --> 0:21:06.919 Okay, you know what, My best friend is always telling 0:21:06.960 --> 0:21:09.399 me that it's okay to go younger, And there's like 0:21:09.440 --> 0:21:13.400 a certain cutoff where it's what's your cut off officially, cougar? 0:21:13.720 --> 0:21:17.000 I don't know. So I'm fifty four. I'm closer to 0:21:17.040 --> 0:21:19.600 fifty five now than I am to fifty four. But 0:21:21.119 --> 0:21:25.560 it's really weird for me to think about dating somebody 0:21:25.560 --> 0:21:30.560 who's fifty because like, oh, and that's like four years. 0:21:30.800 --> 0:21:32.960 We have a four and a half year aged I'm 0:21:33.000 --> 0:21:34.560 four and a half years older than TJ. 0:21:34.680 --> 0:21:37.199 I'm fifty two and he just turned forty eight. 0:21:37.280 --> 0:21:39.439 And it's weird. Mary, it's weird to be with it. 0:21:39.560 --> 0:21:41.440 Yet I can see how it would be. 0:21:43.400 --> 0:21:45.879 No, well, you say, I thought you were going to 0:21:45.960 --> 0:21:46.720 say like thirty. 0:21:46.520 --> 0:21:49.560 Eight or something, because you were talking about your like 0:21:49.640 --> 0:21:52.440 matched energy. And I will tell you I just from 0:21:52.440 --> 0:21:55.280 my experience, I've I've gone older, I've had the same. 0:21:55.560 --> 0:21:58.320 This is my first time with a young man, and 0:21:58.640 --> 0:22:01.600 our energies are very much aligned in a way that 0:22:01.640 --> 0:22:02.520 they weren't before. 0:22:02.960 --> 0:22:05.399 Okay, well, you guys seem to have a good vibe, 0:22:05.480 --> 0:22:09.840 so that's cool. Maybe I'll maybe I'll be open to 0:22:10.240 --> 0:22:12.280