1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:05,440 Speaker 1: Welcome back to another episode of Alchemy. This back again 2 00:00:05,519 --> 00:00:08,440 Speaker 1: filling in for Kevin Pollock is me Cole Stratton. Kevin 3 00:00:08,480 --> 00:00:10,440 Speaker 1: will be back as soon as he's done shooting. She's 4 00:00:10,480 --> 00:00:13,040 Speaker 1: all that too. She wasn't all that, but was most 5 00:00:13,080 --> 00:00:15,640 Speaker 1: of that, But this time she'll be all that we promised. Well, 6 00:00:15,720 --> 00:00:19,159 Speaker 1: it's a long title. Yeah, Well was working. I have 7 00:00:19,200 --> 00:00:22,040 Speaker 1: to meet today's Alchemists. Kicking things off as a guy 8 00:00:22,079 --> 00:00:27,200 Speaker 1: who was kind but didn't rewind Craigski, Craig, did you 9 00:00:27,240 --> 00:00:29,639 Speaker 1: ever forget to return a video to a rental to 10 00:00:29,680 --> 00:00:34,120 Speaker 1: a store? Well, I just ended my Netflix DVD membership 11 00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:37,720 Speaker 1: after eighteen years, and they want three DVDs that I 12 00:00:37,720 --> 00:00:42,720 Speaker 1: had lost in two thousand one back. They can't survive 13 00:00:42,720 --> 00:00:49,959 Speaker 1: without a hardcounts literally. Uh. Next is a man who 14 00:00:49,960 --> 00:00:53,360 Speaker 1: swears Muppets are real, Chris Alvarado. They are Chris. Who's 15 00:00:53,360 --> 00:00:59,280 Speaker 1: your favorite Muppet? I don't really know him? Muppet real Leo? 16 00:00:59,360 --> 00:01:02,560 Speaker 1: I don't know with them knowing that in respect, Thank you, Chris. 17 00:01:02,680 --> 00:01:05,520 Speaker 1: We gotta say you're leaving us for a bit. I 18 00:01:05,600 --> 00:01:08,920 Speaker 1: am This is my last episode for a while. Headed 19 00:01:08,959 --> 00:01:11,399 Speaker 1: to New York, which is exciting to do a play 20 00:01:11,400 --> 00:01:14,280 Speaker 1: off Broadway. Come see that play. It's called hashtag date Me. 21 00:01:14,520 --> 00:01:16,440 Speaker 1: How some people see it, it's I don't really go 22 00:01:16,480 --> 00:01:18,160 Speaker 1: to hashtag date me dot com or something like that. 23 00:01:18,200 --> 00:01:19,920 Speaker 1: Maybe I don't know. It's at the west Side Theater, 24 00:01:19,959 --> 00:01:21,959 Speaker 1: which is interesting because I do all my shows at 25 00:01:21,959 --> 00:01:24,679 Speaker 1: the Westside Comedy Theater in Santa Monica. Universe has big 26 00:01:24,680 --> 00:01:26,760 Speaker 1: plans for you, and now I'm doing Hashtag dat Me 27 00:01:26,800 --> 00:01:31,160 Speaker 1: at the west Side Theater in New York City hashtag 28 00:01:31,240 --> 00:01:33,479 Speaker 1: the show. Do you have to have two hashtags? Then? 29 00:01:33,520 --> 00:01:37,920 Speaker 1: Don't ask me crazy questions something a muppet question. I 30 00:01:37,920 --> 00:01:42,080 Speaker 1: don't like this anti momente al right. Next up, she 31 00:01:42,200 --> 00:01:44,440 Speaker 1: once set Candy Man and Bloody Mary up on a 32 00:01:44,520 --> 00:01:46,559 Speaker 1: date by saying their name is a bunch into a mirror. 33 00:01:46,680 --> 00:01:50,800 Speaker 1: Vanessa L I just love love be. Do you believe 34 00:01:50,800 --> 00:01:56,320 Speaker 1: in ghosts? Sure? Cool? Next up, A Man a Plan 35 00:01:56,520 --> 00:02:01,080 Speaker 1: a Canal, Panama. It's James Heeney. James, what's your favorite word? 36 00:02:02,240 --> 00:02:06,400 Speaker 1: Fuck it? Really? I really like that word, but in 37 00:02:06,440 --> 00:02:09,800 Speaker 1: an exasperated fashion. Well, I wanted to not curse. But 38 00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:12,799 Speaker 1: it's really one of those words that I feel good 39 00:02:12,840 --> 00:02:14,560 Speaker 1: when I say it, where I get all the bad 40 00:02:14,600 --> 00:02:17,280 Speaker 1: out when I say it. Yeah, it's very satisfy. That's nice. 41 00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:21,040 Speaker 1: And finally, four time runner up for James Madison, Junior 42 00:02:21,120 --> 00:02:24,600 Speaker 1: High Vice president Joey Greer. Joey, what platform will you 43 00:02:24,639 --> 00:02:26,760 Speaker 1: run on next time to finally secure you that position? 44 00:02:27,200 --> 00:02:33,360 Speaker 1: Free soda. Alright, well, now that all the pieces are 45 00:02:33,360 --> 00:02:36,120 Speaker 1: in place, let's get to our first scene. Guess. All 46 00:02:36,160 --> 00:02:38,919 Speaker 1: of today's scene suggestions were gathered from our listeners emails. 47 00:02:38,960 --> 00:02:41,120 Speaker 1: If you'd like to submit yours, please write to the 48 00:02:41,120 --> 00:02:44,480 Speaker 1: podcast at your name here at Alchemy this dot com. 49 00:02:44,480 --> 00:02:47,760 Speaker 1: That's your name here at alchemy this dot com. Hi, 50 00:02:47,800 --> 00:02:50,399 Speaker 1: here's the first one. Hey, cast of Alchemy, this big 51 00:02:50,400 --> 00:02:53,800 Speaker 1: fan of the show. Please keep doing this forever, forever. 52 00:02:54,080 --> 00:02:56,560 Speaker 1: Never I mentioned this podcast to people I know often, 53 00:02:56,680 --> 00:02:59,280 Speaker 1: here's a scene you could try, a high powered business 54 00:02:59,360 --> 00:03:03,360 Speaker 1: negotiation and something including billionaires. Maybe thank you for your 55 00:03:03,360 --> 00:03:08,720 Speaker 1: great work, everybody. That's great. Now, look I get it. Okay, 56 00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:11,000 Speaker 1: do you get it? I get it. If you get it, 57 00:03:11,080 --> 00:03:14,000 Speaker 1: I get it all right, And I'm offering right now 58 00:03:14,280 --> 00:03:19,000 Speaker 1: one time deal. Oh really, okay, four tons of lumber. 59 00:03:20,639 --> 00:03:23,400 Speaker 1: I'll take it to my people. Okay, good, we are 60 00:03:23,480 --> 00:03:27,600 Speaker 1: her people. Let us look at this contract. Okay, looking 61 00:03:27,639 --> 00:03:30,119 Speaker 1: through a bill. What do you think about? Okay, bill, 62 00:03:31,960 --> 00:03:36,320 Speaker 1: deals off, deals off, we're back. I'll say that. My 63 00:03:36,400 --> 00:03:38,480 Speaker 1: people will tell me, and then I'll tell you I 64 00:03:38,520 --> 00:03:40,680 Speaker 1: heard your people say no, no no, no, no, honey, that's 65 00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:43,080 Speaker 1: not how it works here. You know what's funny about 66 00:03:43,120 --> 00:03:46,440 Speaker 1: this is that it's funny about this. Rafael. Your people 67 00:03:46,520 --> 00:03:48,720 Speaker 1: are the one speaking for you. So what do you 68 00:03:48,760 --> 00:03:51,680 Speaker 1: do here? Maybe it's what do I do here? Oh no, no, no, Raphael. 69 00:03:51,720 --> 00:03:54,440 Speaker 1: You shouldn't be talking to my people because I own 70 00:03:54,640 --> 00:03:57,360 Speaker 1: them and if I catch them talking to people that 71 00:03:57,400 --> 00:04:03,560 Speaker 1: are not me and they're in big travel. Okay, on, 72 00:04:03,720 --> 00:04:09,560 Speaker 1: how is the deal back? On? Tons of um really quick? Everybody. 73 00:04:09,840 --> 00:04:12,880 Speaker 1: The pilot of this jet says he needs to land soon, 74 00:04:13,240 --> 00:04:17,280 Speaker 1: so we need to figure this out soon. Okay, Okay, 75 00:04:17,440 --> 00:04:19,760 Speaker 1: you don't need to scare me, Chrystal, I didn't mean 76 00:04:19,800 --> 00:04:21,840 Speaker 1: to you. Okay, So we have a new deal, We 77 00:04:21,880 --> 00:04:23,600 Speaker 1: have a new offer. We don't have a new deal. 78 00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:28,120 Speaker 1: Nothing in here about international rights. Off, I'm sorry, but 79 00:04:28,160 --> 00:04:31,160 Speaker 1: there's nothing in here about international rights. Do another loop 80 00:04:31,200 --> 00:04:35,400 Speaker 1: to loop pilot? Nothing in there about international rights? Yes, 81 00:04:36,600 --> 00:04:40,760 Speaker 1: this is lumber, you understand that. No, I don't lumber. 82 00:04:40,839 --> 00:04:45,039 Speaker 1: Isn't something that gets international rights. It's would I think, 83 00:04:45,320 --> 00:04:48,080 Speaker 1: why even be Raphael's people if he never consults us? 84 00:04:48,240 --> 00:04:51,640 Speaker 1: He never consults us. This is this is ridiculous. He's 85 00:04:51,640 --> 00:04:54,520 Speaker 1: making us weight in the tiny bathroom. This. I don't 86 00:04:54,560 --> 00:04:57,560 Speaker 1: even think that. I don't know. I couldn't even use 87 00:04:57,600 --> 00:05:01,760 Speaker 1: the bathroom in here if I wanted to busy. We're busy. Hey, 88 00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:04,200 Speaker 1: we're the other people. We've been sent to the bathroom, 89 00:05:04,240 --> 00:05:05,920 Speaker 1: so can you let us in? This is a small, 90 00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:13,839 Speaker 1: single surf bathroom. Use if this bathroom is off? So 91 00:05:13,880 --> 00:05:16,120 Speaker 1: it's just me and you, Ralphie, I guess it's just 92 00:05:16,520 --> 00:05:18,680 Speaker 1: you and I guess it's just the two of us 93 00:05:18,720 --> 00:05:23,599 Speaker 1: while our people take a tinkle break. So are we 94 00:05:23,640 --> 00:05:28,640 Speaker 1: doing a deal? Trying to are you really? Are you really? Oh? 95 00:05:28,680 --> 00:05:31,000 Speaker 1: I've missed you know, I haven't. I haven't missed you. 96 00:05:32,240 --> 00:05:34,039 Speaker 1: We haven't missed each other. I don't know how to 97 00:05:34,040 --> 00:05:40,320 Speaker 1: do the captain speaking. We are running low on fuel, 98 00:05:40,440 --> 00:05:49,640 Speaker 1: so please make up. Sorry Champagne, Please you still open 99 00:05:49,680 --> 00:05:51,440 Speaker 1: the cork with your feet. I like that. Oh do 100 00:05:51,520 --> 00:05:55,200 Speaker 1: you got all my toes? You know? I'd like to 101 00:05:55,839 --> 00:05:58,640 Speaker 1: offer another proposition on the table. Okay, wait, let me 102 00:05:58,680 --> 00:06:01,640 Speaker 1: pull my trade table down so there's round. Or should 103 00:06:01,680 --> 00:06:04,960 Speaker 1: I put my trade table up to show you my thoughts? Wow, 104 00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:09,640 Speaker 1: they are strong. Yes, I don't. I'm scared. I don't 105 00:06:09,680 --> 00:06:11,480 Speaker 1: think we should be just driving around in circles. We 106 00:06:11,560 --> 00:06:16,080 Speaker 1: gotta lamp this thing they pay us, captain police. I 107 00:06:16,160 --> 00:06:18,240 Speaker 1: know that they're paying a you know as well as 108 00:06:18,279 --> 00:06:19,760 Speaker 1: I do. If we stay up here in the air 109 00:06:19,839 --> 00:06:23,360 Speaker 1: for five more spins, we're going to crash land. That's 110 00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:26,320 Speaker 1: for sure. We might crash land. But there's a deal 111 00:06:26,360 --> 00:06:28,720 Speaker 1: to be made today. Do you know this deal involves 112 00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:32,480 Speaker 1: billions of dollars. I don't really care, because billions of 113 00:06:32,520 --> 00:06:34,800 Speaker 1: dollars doesn't matter. If my family doesn't have a daddy, 114 00:06:35,080 --> 00:06:37,560 Speaker 1: you won't have a family if this deal doesn't go through. 115 00:06:37,800 --> 00:06:44,200 Speaker 1: What it's that big billions? So we get an island, Okay, 116 00:06:44,240 --> 00:06:46,800 Speaker 1: I'm listening. All right. We build several pyramids, all right, 117 00:06:47,400 --> 00:06:51,640 Speaker 1: those pyramids a line with certain stars, and we pretty 118 00:06:51,680 --> 00:06:55,400 Speaker 1: much form a collective that worships those ideas that we're presenting. 119 00:06:55,520 --> 00:06:58,960 Speaker 1: I love it. It's it's Egypt all over again. No, no, no, 120 00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:01,799 Speaker 1: it's fine. The first Pyramids game, that was the first 121 00:07:01,839 --> 00:07:04,080 Speaker 1: Pyramids game. We do that again, because you know what 122 00:07:04,120 --> 00:07:05,919 Speaker 1: pyramids games make money to the one in on the 123 00:07:06,040 --> 00:07:08,880 Speaker 1: mom's love multi level marketing. They can't get enough, they 124 00:07:08,880 --> 00:07:11,240 Speaker 1: can't get enough. I don't know. I don't mean I 125 00:07:11,280 --> 00:07:13,560 Speaker 1: don't mind being a people. You know, I feel like 126 00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:18,280 Speaker 1: sometimes my thoughts get in. Then you're obviously better off 127 00:07:18,280 --> 00:07:20,520 Speaker 1: than we are, because I don't think Rafiel is taking 128 00:07:20,840 --> 00:07:24,680 Speaker 1: a single one of my Hey, you are his people, okay, 129 00:07:25,240 --> 00:07:28,200 Speaker 1: you know like I went to negotiating school, went to 130 00:07:28,280 --> 00:07:34,720 Speaker 1: negotiating school, and we're ready to help. Done. Can we 131 00:07:34,920 --> 00:07:38,480 Speaker 1: please go back in? Okay? Hey, guys, guys, don't forget 132 00:07:38,520 --> 00:07:41,000 Speaker 1: that not only are you his people, but you're your people. 133 00:07:41,560 --> 00:07:44,280 Speaker 1: Maybe go out there and let him know you think so, 134 00:07:44,360 --> 00:07:47,720 Speaker 1: you think he'll respect us March, I'll give it a shot. Okay. 135 00:07:47,720 --> 00:07:52,680 Speaker 1: So what I'm hearing is so excuse me, Raphael? Yeah? 136 00:07:53,880 --> 00:07:56,480 Speaker 1: What's yeah? I didn't call for you. What's going on? 137 00:07:56,600 --> 00:08:01,240 Speaker 1: I fail? Maybe you'd like to consult with your people. 138 00:08:01,400 --> 00:08:03,679 Speaker 1: You gotta keep them in line. Give me a second, 139 00:08:04,440 --> 00:08:06,600 Speaker 1: Give you a second, Give me a second. I can't 140 00:08:06,600 --> 00:08:08,800 Speaker 1: give you a second. There are billions on the loss 141 00:08:09,360 --> 00:08:13,080 Speaker 1: a second. Then pull me another glass of champagne while 142 00:08:13,120 --> 00:08:18,000 Speaker 1: you've talked to your pon hard to pour my less flexible. 143 00:08:18,720 --> 00:08:21,880 Speaker 1: What's going on? It's just we've been with you for 144 00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:26,520 Speaker 1: seven years now and you've never ever once consulted with us, 145 00:08:26,520 --> 00:08:28,520 Speaker 1: and that gives you leverage. Don't you understand if you 146 00:08:28,520 --> 00:08:30,600 Speaker 1: look like you could walk away from the deal, you'll 147 00:08:30,600 --> 00:08:32,959 Speaker 1: get a better deal. All you have to do and 148 00:08:33,040 --> 00:08:35,240 Speaker 1: look at this piece of paper that I've just been 149 00:08:35,240 --> 00:08:38,520 Speaker 1: playing mash on. But because it makes you look stronger, 150 00:08:38,960 --> 00:08:42,080 Speaker 1: you know me. You never consult us? And how what 151 00:08:42,120 --> 00:08:47,640 Speaker 1: are you doing? I'm twisting your I get back in 152 00:08:47,640 --> 00:08:49,200 Speaker 1: the bathroom and I don't want to hear from you. 153 00:08:49,320 --> 00:08:53,600 Speaker 1: I'll call you. It's a big mistake. So here's the truth. 154 00:08:53,880 --> 00:08:56,319 Speaker 1: We've got one more loop left and then this plane 155 00:08:56,360 --> 00:08:58,640 Speaker 1: is going down, So maybe you might want to walk 156 00:08:58,640 --> 00:09:00,880 Speaker 1: back there and often to hurry up. Either way, I 157 00:09:00,920 --> 00:09:02,720 Speaker 1: don't want to sound like a downer, but if you're 158 00:09:02,760 --> 00:09:04,560 Speaker 1: saying we've got one more loop and then we're going 159 00:09:04,600 --> 00:09:07,760 Speaker 1: to crash, we don't got time to loop. We gotta 160 00:09:07,800 --> 00:09:12,600 Speaker 1: go down while we got gas. What all right, I'll 161 00:09:12,600 --> 00:09:14,679 Speaker 1: go back there. I'll go back to Golden Goose, the 162 00:09:15,040 --> 00:09:17,480 Speaker 1: Dallas for the world. We uh, we got one runway 163 00:09:17,559 --> 00:09:19,480 Speaker 1: orright it for you, but you gotta land now otherwise 164 00:09:19,480 --> 00:09:22,640 Speaker 1: it's seventeen other planes coming in Golden Goose. Here is 165 00:09:22,679 --> 00:09:26,800 Speaker 1: this is this? Chuck? Yes, Jock, Chuck, Chad, Oh my god, Chad? 166 00:09:26,840 --> 00:09:29,079 Speaker 1: How you do man? Guys? So listen, here's the deal. 167 00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:33,559 Speaker 1: We've got a negotiation up here. Oh we're talking billions 168 00:09:34,040 --> 00:09:36,240 Speaker 1: billions negost So you know as well as I do. 169 00:09:36,320 --> 00:09:39,280 Speaker 1: If we land this plane, we're all screwed. Yeah, yeah, 170 00:09:39,280 --> 00:09:41,720 Speaker 1: I understand that. Well, I'll keep everybody here on alert. 171 00:09:41,880 --> 00:09:47,040 Speaker 1: Thank you much, um guys. Co pilot Steve, I got 172 00:09:47,040 --> 00:09:50,920 Speaker 1: bad news. We've only got one here or something. Yeah, 173 00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:59,720 Speaker 1: here a fart? Yeah, so we're running out of gas, 174 00:09:59,720 --> 00:10:01,800 Speaker 1: so you're gonna have to wrap up this negotiation. I 175 00:10:01,840 --> 00:10:09,199 Speaker 1: don't think that was it could be paid more. I'm 176 00:10:09,240 --> 00:10:11,719 Speaker 1: a copilot. This wasn't an invitation for you to come 177 00:10:11,720 --> 00:10:13,000 Speaker 1: and kick it with us. So why once you get 178 00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:15,600 Speaker 1: back into a little boiler room of yours and drives 179 00:10:15,679 --> 00:10:25,800 Speaker 1: little ship? Okay, by bye bye captain. I think they 180 00:10:25,840 --> 00:10:30,240 Speaker 1: got the message. Terrific. Well, we got about a half 181 00:10:30,240 --> 00:10:32,600 Speaker 1: a loop left. I hope this works out for both 182 00:10:32,640 --> 00:10:35,000 Speaker 1: of us. You know, we're gathered here today to celebrate. 183 00:10:35,440 --> 00:10:39,959 Speaker 1: I guess celebrates the wrong word. But I guess celebrating 184 00:10:40,520 --> 00:10:43,920 Speaker 1: is one way to put the passing of two of 185 00:10:43,960 --> 00:10:49,720 Speaker 1: our pilots. Um. I'll say celebrate it. I'll say celebrate. 186 00:10:50,559 --> 00:10:53,240 Speaker 1: Can I speak please? Yeah, go for it. You see, 187 00:10:53,280 --> 00:10:56,959 Speaker 1: these pilots died for a good cause. If I'm ever 188 00:10:57,040 --> 00:10:59,960 Speaker 1: in a position where I have to pilot a negotiation 189 00:11:00,040 --> 00:11:03,160 Speaker 1: and I'll also die, mark my words, I will also 190 00:11:03,240 --> 00:11:07,400 Speaker 1: go down. Okay, anybody else would like to speak, I 191 00:11:07,440 --> 00:11:17,200 Speaker 1: understand this is a little of celebration, So Tiffany, I'm sorry. 192 00:11:17,240 --> 00:11:20,040 Speaker 1: If you're going to speak, please make it audible. We 193 00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:23,200 Speaker 1: don't we just don't know what you're saying. We'll just 194 00:11:23,240 --> 00:11:26,120 Speaker 1: have a seat. And when you when I was a 195 00:11:26,160 --> 00:11:34,280 Speaker 1: good friend of the palace and they plane crashed coming 196 00:11:34,320 --> 00:11:39,840 Speaker 1: in towards the Burbank airport, kind of tight landing, there 197 00:11:39,880 --> 00:11:43,600 Speaker 1: a lot of turbulence. It can be very difficult. But 198 00:11:43,920 --> 00:11:45,760 Speaker 1: I just want to let you everybody know, to have 199 00:11:45,800 --> 00:11:49,080 Speaker 1: a great funeral and enjoy the rest of your day. Interesting, 200 00:11:49,200 --> 00:11:50,880 Speaker 1: So are you are you also passing up peanuts? Is 201 00:11:50,880 --> 00:11:53,280 Speaker 1: that what you're doing? That's right? Okay, I'd like to 202 00:11:53,360 --> 00:11:55,480 Speaker 1: also say that this is great. I had my choice 203 00:11:55,480 --> 00:11:59,800 Speaker 1: of funerals and I'm glad I chose this one. Guys, 204 00:11:59,840 --> 00:12:01,640 Speaker 1: we have a we have appreciate it. We have a 205 00:12:01,640 --> 00:12:05,600 Speaker 1: little video we gotta play for everybody before this funeral 206 00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:08,520 Speaker 1: gets going. So why don't we just all sit back 207 00:12:08,840 --> 00:12:10,679 Speaker 1: and if you could just turn off your phone for 208 00:12:10,720 --> 00:12:13,360 Speaker 1: a second, make sure they're on airplane mode, and let's 209 00:12:13,360 --> 00:12:16,559 Speaker 1: just want some hold on. I can't understand what you're saying. 210 00:12:16,840 --> 00:12:22,120 Speaker 1: So your loved one just died, believe it or not, 211 00:12:22,280 --> 00:12:37,120 Speaker 1: there are dead. Put you and enjoy the funeral. We putter. Okay, 212 00:12:37,200 --> 00:12:42,120 Speaker 1: that was way shorter than so as your people, Um, 213 00:12:42,200 --> 00:12:45,280 Speaker 1: we think, we just think that maybe it's time to 214 00:12:46,320 --> 00:12:48,200 Speaker 1: what are you saying? I think it's time for a 215 00:12:48,240 --> 00:12:53,280 Speaker 1: deal or no deal or no deal? The TV show 216 00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:56,959 Speaker 1: what I'm sorry? Deal or no deal? The TV show? 217 00:12:58,320 --> 00:13:01,760 Speaker 1: That's some one? The how Matt Look, we're gonna die 218 00:13:02,040 --> 00:13:04,000 Speaker 1: and I'm fine with that, but I just need you 219 00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:08,520 Speaker 1: to we won't die. How's that We've got the life raft? 220 00:13:09,160 --> 00:13:13,640 Speaker 1: That's right, we secured a life raft before. Who negotiated that? 221 00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:18,880 Speaker 1: I did? That's my man? I don't I feel left out? Well, 222 00:13:19,280 --> 00:13:24,040 Speaker 1: you weren't around. There's a life raffort two. I see, 223 00:13:24,080 --> 00:13:26,120 Speaker 1: I'm supposed to mention that we're just going to let 224 00:13:26,160 --> 00:13:31,400 Speaker 1: that happen. When I see Champagne, Champagne, I'm back. I'm 225 00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:35,960 Speaker 1: back back, welcome back. So we don't have a deal yet, 226 00:13:36,120 --> 00:13:38,280 Speaker 1: but if you put two more billion on the table, 227 00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:42,679 Speaker 1: I think we could maybe tons of number and plus 228 00:13:42,679 --> 00:13:46,880 Speaker 1: two billions, plus the island plus the pyramids a little background. 229 00:13:47,440 --> 00:13:49,840 Speaker 1: I'm not gonna pay you two billions. I'm gonna get 230 00:13:49,880 --> 00:13:53,360 Speaker 1: the money. Excuse me, your f il can I word 231 00:13:53,360 --> 00:13:56,400 Speaker 1: for a second? God, Oh my god, I will call you. 232 00:13:56,520 --> 00:14:02,000 Speaker 1: What what do you want? Look, my dad died six 233 00:14:02,080 --> 00:14:03,800 Speaker 1: years ago on one of these things, and I went 234 00:14:03,840 --> 00:14:05,800 Speaker 1: to negotiating school so I could come here and prevent 235 00:14:05,840 --> 00:14:08,280 Speaker 1: this from ever happening again. And we got one lap left, 236 00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:10,640 Speaker 1: one lap left. You make this deal, god damnit, or 237 00:14:10,640 --> 00:14:13,880 Speaker 1: I'll make it for you if you ever talk to 238 00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:17,800 Speaker 1: me like that again. Ever, I'm gonna give you all 239 00:14:17,880 --> 00:14:22,120 Speaker 1: right like that. Now, what's this happened to your dad speaking? 240 00:14:22,240 --> 00:14:26,800 Speaker 1: We are headed straight straight into the shut up. He 241 00:14:26,880 --> 00:14:29,280 Speaker 1: was a pilot on on a flight six years ago. 242 00:14:29,440 --> 00:14:31,320 Speaker 1: That was the biggest deal that we've known the art 243 00:14:31,320 --> 00:14:34,400 Speaker 1: of the deal, you know what I'm talking about. And 244 00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:37,560 Speaker 1: so he died in vain in some people's eyes, but 245 00:14:37,600 --> 00:14:39,160 Speaker 1: I think he was a hero. So that's why I 246 00:14:39,280 --> 00:14:41,480 Speaker 1: vowed I would close every deal from this part on. 247 00:14:42,480 --> 00:14:45,200 Speaker 1: Is anyone else's hair going up? As if we're building now? Yeah, 248 00:14:45,200 --> 00:14:49,000 Speaker 1: I'm kind of just keep talking about talking about it anyways, 249 00:14:50,280 --> 00:14:53,200 Speaker 1: bullet points hero deal to make this deal now so 250 00:14:53,240 --> 00:14:59,360 Speaker 1: we can all go home alive. Pretty much all there 251 00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:02,080 Speaker 1: is to its make the deal. Please. I'm happy to 252 00:15:02,080 --> 00:15:04,480 Speaker 1: take anybody out in the water, But that area right 253 00:15:04,480 --> 00:15:07,400 Speaker 1: over there, that that's cursed. Deals don't get done in 254 00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:09,960 Speaker 1: that bard of the water. Deals just kind of get 255 00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:12,720 Speaker 1: lost in the sea over there. I think we can 256 00:15:12,760 --> 00:15:14,200 Speaker 1: make a deal there, but I don't know. I'm just 257 00:15:14,280 --> 00:15:16,320 Speaker 1: I'm happy to take anybody out there, but it just 258 00:15:16,680 --> 00:15:20,360 Speaker 1: it's the dead man's deal zone of the of dead, 259 00:15:20,360 --> 00:15:23,640 Speaker 1: like the Bermuda Triangle for deals. Yeah. I didn't want 260 00:15:23,640 --> 00:15:25,600 Speaker 1: to say that, but yeah, why didn't you want to 261 00:15:25,600 --> 00:15:31,560 Speaker 1: say that? Well, you know copyright. Well I think I'm 262 00:15:31,640 --> 00:15:34,600 Speaker 1: up for it, all right, anybody else or just just 263 00:15:34,720 --> 00:15:38,320 Speaker 1: you just me? Okay, Um, well, you're gonna make a deal. 264 00:15:38,360 --> 00:15:42,720 Speaker 1: With yourself. You know, I've lost a lot lately and 265 00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:46,120 Speaker 1: I need to reckon with myself. I need to make 266 00:15:46,120 --> 00:15:47,560 Speaker 1: a deal with God, and this seems like the right 267 00:15:47,560 --> 00:15:50,360 Speaker 1: place to do it. All right, take me to the 268 00:15:50,400 --> 00:15:54,480 Speaker 1: deal zone. All right, it's really not that far trip. 269 00:15:55,040 --> 00:16:05,120 Speaker 1: We're here. God, you plug your ears, sir, God. H 270 00:16:06,760 --> 00:16:13,120 Speaker 1: f Almo. Listener. Wow, it's Bianca feeling a little guilty 271 00:16:13,160 --> 00:16:16,840 Speaker 1: about the plane crash. Feeling a little guilty about the 272 00:16:16,840 --> 00:16:18,440 Speaker 1: plane crash, wondering if we could do a deal to 273 00:16:18,440 --> 00:16:20,440 Speaker 1: get me you know where. I'm sorry, I'll step in here. 274 00:16:20,440 --> 00:16:22,680 Speaker 1: I'm representing God now, so we had to find out 275 00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:26,400 Speaker 1: this way beyond my God. After everything we went through. 276 00:16:26,440 --> 00:16:28,480 Speaker 1: You're representing God. I'm gonna have to ask you to 277 00:16:28,560 --> 00:16:34,160 Speaker 1: not say that now. A little respect, please, of a 278 00:16:34,200 --> 00:16:36,880 Speaker 1: little respect from the man. Okay, I mean God, you 279 00:16:36,920 --> 00:16:42,160 Speaker 1: saw what happened. Talk to me, Just talk to my people. 280 00:16:43,560 --> 00:16:47,680 Speaker 1: Oh you you are my people. I'm chosen. I'm one 281 00:16:47,680 --> 00:16:50,560 Speaker 1: of the chosen ones. Well, good for you. How do 282 00:16:50,600 --> 00:16:52,120 Speaker 1: I get in on this. Let's just do the deal. 283 00:16:52,440 --> 00:16:54,880 Speaker 1: I save you, We saved each other. You owe me. Well, 284 00:16:55,160 --> 00:16:59,320 Speaker 1: take a look at this contract. I can't I need 285 00:16:59,440 --> 00:17:02,840 Speaker 1: to show it to my people. Well, where are your people? 286 00:17:05,880 --> 00:17:12,520 Speaker 1: Where are your people? Hell, negotiators, I hope you can 287 00:17:12,560 --> 00:17:19,440 Speaker 1: work a better deal for yourself down here. Uh, let's 288 00:17:19,480 --> 00:17:21,800 Speaker 1: make a deal. You make a deal. Let's make a deal. No. Yeah, 289 00:17:21,840 --> 00:17:24,400 Speaker 1: that's the thing though. You'll never agree on a price point, 290 00:17:24,480 --> 00:17:29,399 Speaker 1: is this, David? No? No, no? And that's how business 291 00:17:29,440 --> 00:17:38,480 Speaker 1: has done everybody. All right, here's our second one. Hey. 292 00:17:38,800 --> 00:17:40,680 Speaker 1: I've been listening since day one, and I'm a huge 293 00:17:40,680 --> 00:17:42,480 Speaker 1: fan of your show. You keep me chuckling on my 294 00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:45,240 Speaker 1: long drives. I drive all over northern California for work, 295 00:17:45,280 --> 00:17:47,800 Speaker 1: and this helps make the time more enjoyable. I work 296 00:17:47,840 --> 00:17:50,600 Speaker 1: indirectly for the state and I keep dealerships compliant with 297 00:17:50,680 --> 00:17:53,840 Speaker 1: registering cars they sell. I'm basically a mobile d m V. 298 00:17:54,359 --> 00:17:55,639 Speaker 1: I would love you all to create a scene that 299 00:17:55,680 --> 00:17:58,080 Speaker 1: takes place in a d m V. Can't wait to 300 00:17:58,119 --> 00:17:59,800 Speaker 1: see a live performance some day. If you come to 301 00:17:59,800 --> 00:18:02,320 Speaker 1: say Francisco or Sacramento, I'd be there for sure. Keep 302 00:18:02,400 --> 00:18:09,399 Speaker 1: up the good work. Alex Halverson, Pollock, Pines, California. Thanks Alex. Number. 303 00:18:10,040 --> 00:18:13,919 Speaker 1: Excuse me, I'm just in line. Were you about to 304 00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:17,320 Speaker 1: give the number out? I'm sorry, sir. Give me your 305 00:18:17,440 --> 00:18:20,760 Speaker 1: number back. You're gonna have to forfeit your number, sir. 306 00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:26,879 Speaker 1: There you go, thank you. All right, here's your new number. 307 00:18:26,920 --> 00:18:29,120 Speaker 1: Thank you. Oh it's higher than what I had before. Yeah, 308 00:18:29,200 --> 00:18:31,640 Speaker 1: you're gonna be here for a while. You were tempering 309 00:18:31,680 --> 00:18:36,760 Speaker 1: with the number. What's your number? My number was that 310 00:18:36,920 --> 00:18:39,040 Speaker 1: on a little piece of gum you gave me. It 311 00:18:39,160 --> 00:18:44,040 Speaker 1: was not gone. That was a little piece of gum, paper, gum, 312 00:18:44,080 --> 00:18:50,679 Speaker 1: that was paper. I apit number. Okay, uh, do you 313 00:18:50,720 --> 00:18:56,120 Speaker 1: have any idea? What the number? For four hours waiting, 314 00:18:56,600 --> 00:18:58,160 Speaker 1: I'm not supposed to do this, but I'll make an 315 00:18:58,160 --> 00:19:02,679 Speaker 1: expension to be called. I have the gum stuck in 316 00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:08,199 Speaker 1: my throat. I can still drive, I can still see. 317 00:19:08,280 --> 00:19:10,240 Speaker 1: I'm sure you can. But it's not up for me 318 00:19:10,320 --> 00:19:12,120 Speaker 1: to decide. Here. You come with me, and I'll bring 319 00:19:12,160 --> 00:19:15,440 Speaker 1: you right over. I'll bring you right over. My niece says, 320 00:19:15,480 --> 00:19:20,320 Speaker 1: it looks like my eye also covered in Elma's glue. 321 00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:23,680 Speaker 1: But this still I'm sure they are. Frank, Frank, before 322 00:19:23,680 --> 00:19:25,640 Speaker 1: you go to launch, could you please help this old 323 00:19:25,680 --> 00:19:30,200 Speaker 1: woman out? I could you help her out? She swallowed 324 00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:32,680 Speaker 1: her number. Okay, I'm right in the middle of taking 325 00:19:32,680 --> 00:19:35,600 Speaker 1: the picture, but we'll take his mask off. Sir, you're 326 00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:37,639 Speaker 1: gonna have to take your mask off while taking this picture. 327 00:19:38,640 --> 00:19:40,639 Speaker 1: I don't take my mask off for anyone. See he 328 00:19:40,720 --> 00:19:45,720 Speaker 1: keeps doing this. I'm happy, Batman. I'm sorry. Do you 329 00:19:45,760 --> 00:19:49,240 Speaker 1: not know who that is? Batman? That's him? Yeah, I'm 330 00:19:49,240 --> 00:19:56,000 Speaker 1: so sorry. Okay, let the man go. Jesus, he's a hero. 331 00:19:56,200 --> 00:19:58,760 Speaker 1: I'm sorry. I just we have no mass policy, and 332 00:19:58,880 --> 00:20:02,680 Speaker 1: the here of this city eats. Yeah, to take the picture. 333 00:20:02,720 --> 00:20:04,080 Speaker 1: If you know the guy, you take the picture, I'll 334 00:20:04,119 --> 00:20:06,360 Speaker 1: help her. I'll take the picture. By the way. Yeah, 335 00:20:06,560 --> 00:20:11,320 Speaker 1: great steak last night. Sir, you're probably wondering why I 336 00:20:11,359 --> 00:20:15,359 Speaker 1: pulled you over. You're going about a hundred and thirty 337 00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:18,359 Speaker 1: down Central Boulevard here, hitting every car on the way. 338 00:20:18,640 --> 00:20:24,360 Speaker 1: What's wrong with that officer? License and registration please? I'm Batman, yeah, 339 00:20:24,119 --> 00:20:29,040 Speaker 1: and I'm silver surfer. License and registration please. Our universe 340 00:20:29,119 --> 00:20:36,760 Speaker 1: is doing cross off him. I'm waiting, Uh, I'm sorry 341 00:20:36,800 --> 00:20:40,040 Speaker 1: looking around for it. Um. Can I just get out 342 00:20:40,040 --> 00:20:43,320 Speaker 1: of the car. Do I have to stay here? Stay here? Robin, 343 00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:49,520 Speaker 1: stay here? Boy? Wonder whatever, sir, is that your ward? 344 00:20:50,280 --> 00:20:55,199 Speaker 1: This is my ward? Okay? Bert, not fucking related to him? 345 00:20:55,240 --> 00:20:57,240 Speaker 1: Or anything, but I need you to stay seated there, please. 346 00:20:57,280 --> 00:21:03,199 Speaker 1: Oh my god? Oh kay? Uh? Where I had I 347 00:21:03,240 --> 00:21:07,399 Speaker 1: had the registration? Where was it? I don't know. I 348 00:21:07,440 --> 00:21:10,240 Speaker 1: just saw that money you didn't give me. All right, 349 00:21:10,359 --> 00:21:12,640 Speaker 1: that's not the time of the place to talk about 350 00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:17,800 Speaker 1: later at a more convenient time. There's never a convenient 351 00:21:17,840 --> 00:21:21,280 Speaker 1: time for you. Look this bullshit. I'm sorry. I just 352 00:21:21,320 --> 00:21:25,880 Speaker 1: stopped the joker from blowing up a football stadium. Can 353 00:21:25,920 --> 00:21:29,080 Speaker 1: I get a pass here? You know I'm not supposed 354 00:21:29,119 --> 00:21:31,000 Speaker 1: to just doing my job as you're doing here. Do 355 00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:34,119 Speaker 1: you understand that? Right? Yeah? Alright, say what, I'm going 356 00:21:34,160 --> 00:21:36,400 Speaker 1: to give you a warning. I'm gonna write this stuff. 357 00:21:36,400 --> 00:21:37,879 Speaker 1: I'm just gonna writ this up like a fixing ticket. 358 00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:40,560 Speaker 1: Just go get the tail light changed on the batmobile here, 359 00:21:40,880 --> 00:21:41,879 Speaker 1: so I have to go to the d m V. 360 00:21:42,119 --> 00:21:44,520 Speaker 1: You do and get a new photo while you're at it. 361 00:21:44,520 --> 00:21:48,720 Speaker 1: All right, Well, alright, alright, but I'm not taking my 362 00:21:48,760 --> 00:21:52,000 Speaker 1: mask off. All right, you'll take that bad signal, all right, 363 00:21:52,040 --> 00:21:56,119 Speaker 1: have a good day, he can. Ma'am. Man, you're eating 364 00:21:56,720 --> 00:22:01,120 Speaker 1: the entire ticket number tape stuff. Why did you give 365 00:22:01,160 --> 00:22:03,120 Speaker 1: it to me? I didn't give it. Your pulling out 366 00:22:03,119 --> 00:22:08,920 Speaker 1: of the red So that's what my fingers were doing. Well, 367 00:22:09,040 --> 00:22:12,200 Speaker 1: I'm still able to drive, Frank, I'd like can set 368 00:22:13,200 --> 00:22:19,680 Speaker 1: one sec. Obviously I didn't recognize Batman, right, Okay, I 369 00:22:19,720 --> 00:22:23,119 Speaker 1: think and just follow me here. I think that person 370 00:22:23,160 --> 00:22:26,879 Speaker 1: over there, that old lady in quotes, is actually a 371 00:22:26,920 --> 00:22:31,080 Speaker 1: bad person, a bad guy. It's a woman. No, No, 372 00:22:31,640 --> 00:22:35,760 Speaker 1: I think it's a disguise. Okay. I mean if Batman exists, 373 00:22:35,840 --> 00:22:39,760 Speaker 1: then surely his enemies exist. Right, I don't even know 374 00:22:39,880 --> 00:22:42,960 Speaker 1: what you're talking about here. If you really think so, 375 00:22:43,720 --> 00:22:46,920 Speaker 1: our hold her shoulders, you tug your head by the way. 376 00:22:47,320 --> 00:22:50,359 Speaker 1: By the way, how did you what kind of rubbs 377 00:22:50,359 --> 00:22:52,440 Speaker 1: that in the stage? It's just black pepper and lemon juice? 378 00:22:52,520 --> 00:23:01,160 Speaker 1: Just all right, here we go. I think she's fine 379 00:23:01,240 --> 00:23:09,640 Speaker 1: to day. Yeah, you have a good day down here. 380 00:23:09,880 --> 00:23:13,840 Speaker 1: Excuse me, I don't like this picture. Can we take 381 00:23:13,880 --> 00:23:19,040 Speaker 1: another one? Batman? Batman? Of course, we can fit you 382 00:23:19,040 --> 00:23:23,640 Speaker 1: in really quick. Yeah, fake, it looks really nice. It's 383 00:23:23,640 --> 00:23:25,880 Speaker 1: a wonderful foul. I'll think you should use it from 384 00:23:25,880 --> 00:23:30,440 Speaker 1: now all alright, My my butler likes it, so I 385 00:23:30,480 --> 00:23:32,400 Speaker 1: guess I'm okay with it. Before you head up, man, 386 00:23:32,520 --> 00:23:35,520 Speaker 1: can you inspect this body, this lady who's dying. Does 387 00:23:35,520 --> 00:23:38,720 Speaker 1: she remind you of anybody? Is she an enemy of yours? 388 00:23:38,720 --> 00:23:43,399 Speaker 1: An enemy of mine? Yeah? Who are your enemies? Joking? 389 00:23:44,440 --> 00:23:46,879 Speaker 1: So that's maybe maybe she's the penguin. She's not the 390 00:23:46,880 --> 00:23:49,800 Speaker 1: big one. Could you look closer? Man, I'm tired of 391 00:23:49,840 --> 00:23:52,720 Speaker 1: waiting the fucking car. Shut the funk up, Robert, I'm 392 00:23:52,760 --> 00:23:54,879 Speaker 1: tired of waiting in the car, all right, and you 393 00:23:54,920 --> 00:23:57,520 Speaker 1: know what, I'll take care of him. Get off of me, 394 00:23:57,760 --> 00:24:00,840 Speaker 1: Come out and get off of me. Going down, get 395 00:24:00,840 --> 00:24:03,240 Speaker 1: off of me. I want to drive. I want to drive, 396 00:24:03,400 --> 00:24:05,159 Speaker 1: and I want you to dress up for dinner tonight. 397 00:24:05,240 --> 00:24:10,200 Speaker 1: Oh funk that. I'm not gonna wear short shorts. I 398 00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:13,040 Speaker 1: want to drive. You'll wear shorts as short as I 399 00:24:13,080 --> 00:24:19,520 Speaker 1: tell you to fuck up? Let me give up? Hello? Hi? 400 00:24:19,960 --> 00:24:25,119 Speaker 1: Does Batman live here? How did you phone a cave? 401 00:24:26,400 --> 00:24:29,920 Speaker 1: I just asked God to point the way. Something bad 402 00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:32,680 Speaker 1: happened and I need his help. All right, Well, you 403 00:24:32,800 --> 00:24:34,840 Speaker 1: discover it to me and I'll run it up to ladder. 404 00:24:35,359 --> 00:24:41,720 Speaker 1: My grandma is was a wonderful person, and the bad 405 00:24:41,800 --> 00:24:44,800 Speaker 1: people at the d m V killed her, and I 406 00:24:44,880 --> 00:24:47,560 Speaker 1: need some The cops don't believe me because I called 407 00:24:47,600 --> 00:24:51,840 Speaker 1: them all the time. I had this real active imagination. Anyway, 408 00:24:51,840 --> 00:24:54,400 Speaker 1: that's a long story. At your name, son, Jay Jay. 409 00:24:54,960 --> 00:24:59,040 Speaker 1: Let's see you bowling. Let your falling, grandma. Oh, we'll 410 00:24:59,080 --> 00:25:01,720 Speaker 1: take this up to Batman. Thank you, sir, thank you, 411 00:25:01,800 --> 00:25:04,760 Speaker 1: good luck. We will ofvent you. Thank you. I don't 412 00:25:04,800 --> 00:25:08,960 Speaker 1: want any more wine. I have another glass. I don't 413 00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:13,359 Speaker 1: want any more. Can I get you anything rose for 414 00:25:15,840 --> 00:25:23,920 Speaker 1: I don't want anymore want a gatorade? Yes, they are, 415 00:25:23,960 --> 00:25:26,440 Speaker 1: Thank you very much, and not for any of the reason. 416 00:25:26,480 --> 00:25:29,959 Speaker 1: Then I sweat a lot. Thank you very much. Thank you. 417 00:25:31,080 --> 00:25:33,880 Speaker 1: Oh my god, you're a little tents. Yeah, I am 418 00:25:33,920 --> 00:25:35,880 Speaker 1: a little time. I need your background. I can off 419 00:25:35,880 --> 00:25:40,480 Speaker 1: of me for shit. So it feels very good. I 420 00:25:40,480 --> 00:25:42,040 Speaker 1: mean I didn't think you could top the steak. If 421 00:25:42,040 --> 00:25:44,320 Speaker 1: I'm being honest, Well, I'm not sure that I can 422 00:25:44,440 --> 00:25:46,920 Speaker 1: or not yet. I don't know. This park looks great. 423 00:25:49,520 --> 00:25:52,840 Speaker 1: Do you want any more salent? Hey, Hi, it's gonna 424 00:25:52,840 --> 00:25:56,359 Speaker 1: see you too. Would you like any more talent? Yeah? 425 00:25:56,440 --> 00:25:58,240 Speaker 1: Please could sell it? You got it? Would you like 426 00:25:58,280 --> 00:26:00,119 Speaker 1: any talent? That would be great? All right, I just 427 00:26:00,160 --> 00:26:02,080 Speaker 1: gotta run out. It's probably gonna take me two hours. 428 00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:06,680 Speaker 1: Perfect a perfect god. Want to dry? I want to 429 00:26:06,720 --> 00:26:10,960 Speaker 1: fuck you? What? No, no, no, no, non't me. I'm serious. 430 00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:13,920 Speaker 1: We're not just friends. I love you. We have two 431 00:26:13,920 --> 00:26:18,760 Speaker 1: hours to get can I get? I forgot my keys, 432 00:26:19,600 --> 00:26:21,639 Speaker 1: so you hurt? Your keys are hanging on the key hangar, 433 00:26:21,800 --> 00:26:23,240 Speaker 1: I know, I know, I just look. I gotta go 434 00:26:23,240 --> 00:26:25,320 Speaker 1: over to Bermuda's, get out the salad and come right 435 00:26:25,320 --> 00:26:32,679 Speaker 1: back a few hours. Awesome, we have two hours. We 436 00:26:32,720 --> 00:26:34,840 Speaker 1: have two hours. I can test this love to see 437 00:26:34,880 --> 00:26:36,760 Speaker 1: if it's all I think it can be. You have 438 00:26:36,880 --> 00:26:40,760 Speaker 1: to tell you a secret. I'm listening. My wife cooked 439 00:26:40,760 --> 00:26:43,000 Speaker 1: a steak in the pork and she's going to be 440 00:26:43,040 --> 00:26:49,320 Speaker 1: tossing the salad. I see. I just wanted to get 441 00:26:49,359 --> 00:26:53,440 Speaker 1: you here, and I wait, don't go, don't go. There's 442 00:26:53,480 --> 00:26:55,840 Speaker 1: so many other things than just cooking food, and I 443 00:26:55,880 --> 00:26:58,040 Speaker 1: need to just grab my umbrella before I leave. What 444 00:26:58,040 --> 00:27:07,880 Speaker 1: are you doing the penguin? So what do you think 445 00:27:07,880 --> 00:27:10,560 Speaker 1: of the rose? It's pretty, it's nice, nice full body. 446 00:27:10,880 --> 00:27:13,159 Speaker 1: I guess I don't know. My palate isn't developed enough 447 00:27:13,200 --> 00:27:15,840 Speaker 1: to really appreciate it. Well, develop your palette, I just 448 00:27:15,840 --> 00:27:23,000 Speaker 1: can't excuse Sorry, Okay, do you like work here for 449 00:27:23,119 --> 00:27:25,240 Speaker 1: you knew here? Do you like? Work for them? I 450 00:27:25,359 --> 00:27:29,439 Speaker 1: work for them. I'm here because I'll have to forward something. 451 00:27:30,680 --> 00:27:35,800 Speaker 1: What what can I stay and listen? Sure the penguins. 452 00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:39,000 Speaker 1: He's back. He's more jovial than usual, but he's back. 453 00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:45,160 Speaker 1: He's super happy, super like. Okay, took his umbrella out 454 00:27:45,440 --> 00:27:47,800 Speaker 1: and he started springing around and then said he was 455 00:27:47,840 --> 00:27:51,640 Speaker 1: doing it all right. Well he's super happy. Hi number 456 00:27:51,720 --> 00:27:54,399 Speaker 1: forty two. Yeah, great, So you're here just for to 457 00:27:55,119 --> 00:27:57,880 Speaker 1: register your vehicle. Oh, don't don't tell me what I'm 458 00:27:57,880 --> 00:28:00,240 Speaker 1: here to do. Okay, I'll tell you what I'm here 459 00:28:00,280 --> 00:28:01,760 Speaker 1: to do. I'm just at the form. So they're just 460 00:28:01,760 --> 00:28:03,280 Speaker 1: looking at the phone. Well, the form says I'm here 461 00:28:03,280 --> 00:28:08,680 Speaker 1: to register a new vehicle, right, yeah, okay, terrific information. Okay, 462 00:28:08,760 --> 00:28:13,360 Speaker 1: first government buildings, the first name, first name. Ye, I'm 463 00:28:13,359 --> 00:28:17,840 Speaker 1: not going to give you that. It's part of it, sir. 464 00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:19,760 Speaker 1: Oh you just get all my personal infant. I don't 465 00:28:20,040 --> 00:28:22,960 Speaker 1: believe that. No way, Just register my goddamn vehicle. I 466 00:28:22,960 --> 00:28:25,160 Speaker 1: gotta go. Let me just reach over and grab my 467 00:28:25,560 --> 00:28:36,919 Speaker 1: umbrella really quick. All right, he ll batman that wake up. 468 00:28:39,960 --> 00:28:42,080 Speaker 1: We got the penguin. He hit, He hit the d 469 00:28:42,200 --> 00:28:45,160 Speaker 1: m V. He hit the d m V. Yeah, what 470 00:28:45,400 --> 00:28:49,600 Speaker 1: what happened? It took money? Or up the building or 471 00:28:49,760 --> 00:28:53,520 Speaker 1: good morning? Was she sleeping in the bathroom. I don't 472 00:28:53,520 --> 00:28:56,040 Speaker 1: know where she slept. I don't didn't sleep that much, 473 00:28:56,120 --> 00:28:58,600 Speaker 1: but I did sleep in the bathtub for a minute. Cool, 474 00:28:58,720 --> 00:29:00,200 Speaker 1: So you hooked up with the girl that I told 475 00:29:00,200 --> 00:29:05,240 Speaker 1: you I had feeling. You don't know. You don't know 476 00:29:05,240 --> 00:29:07,560 Speaker 1: what you're feeling. I'm feeling. I don't know what I'm 477 00:29:07,560 --> 00:29:11,120 Speaker 1: feeling like because I don't know. It seemed like you 478 00:29:11,160 --> 00:29:13,440 Speaker 1: and Batman were together. You were getting massages from them, 479 00:29:13,520 --> 00:29:15,880 Speaker 1: you wearing those short short I didn't know you were 480 00:29:15,920 --> 00:29:19,800 Speaker 1: into me. I don't know why would you be in me. 481 00:29:19,880 --> 00:29:23,680 Speaker 1: I'm just like Batman was like, hey, Barbara, Wow, I 482 00:29:23,720 --> 00:29:25,240 Speaker 1: didn't expect to see you here at the d m V. 483 00:29:25,520 --> 00:29:28,480 Speaker 1: I'm so sorry about ted you out for that salad. 484 00:29:28,520 --> 00:29:31,640 Speaker 1: And then somebody came into something awful to both of us, 485 00:29:31,720 --> 00:29:34,760 Speaker 1: really both of us and I just barely made it 486 00:29:34,760 --> 00:29:36,800 Speaker 1: out alive, and of course I had to come back 487 00:29:36,800 --> 00:29:40,840 Speaker 1: to work. So that's why I'm here. You know, I um, 488 00:29:40,880 --> 00:29:42,280 Speaker 1: it's hard for me to come in here and and 489 00:29:42,680 --> 00:29:46,200 Speaker 1: uh talk to you, but I just want you to 490 00:29:46,280 --> 00:29:49,880 Speaker 1: know that I've filed a restraining order against you, against me. 491 00:29:51,120 --> 00:29:53,800 Speaker 1: I just can't see you. I didn't do anything. I 492 00:29:53,800 --> 00:29:56,000 Speaker 1: didn't you didn't, of course you didn't. I just can't 493 00:29:56,000 --> 00:29:58,480 Speaker 1: see you, you know, because I remind you of Ted. 494 00:29:59,000 --> 00:30:02,920 Speaker 1: So I brought over goodbye salad? And is that steak? 495 00:30:03,200 --> 00:30:05,680 Speaker 1: That steak in there? And there's a Southwest funeral tape 496 00:30:06,200 --> 00:30:08,200 Speaker 1: and there for you if you just want to take 497 00:30:08,200 --> 00:30:10,360 Speaker 1: a look at that, Barbara, look at me. I gotta 498 00:30:10,360 --> 00:30:14,200 Speaker 1: tell you a secret that I'm the penguin. Say again, 499 00:30:14,240 --> 00:30:23,920 Speaker 1: you whispered it, penguin. I can't hear you. I'm the penguin. Bam, 500 00:30:24,160 --> 00:30:28,320 Speaker 1: wake up? Wake up? What are you sleep in the kitchen? 501 00:30:30,040 --> 00:30:33,040 Speaker 1: Fell asleep? Standing up? Sorry? Just having me getting a 502 00:30:33,040 --> 00:30:37,680 Speaker 1: lot of sleep lately. Why? Why is that guilty? Good? 503 00:30:38,520 --> 00:30:41,640 Speaker 1: Are you serious? I think we're in love? Oh my god, Batman, 504 00:30:42,040 --> 00:30:44,719 Speaker 1: didn't you tell me? I always tell everything to rub 505 00:30:44,800 --> 00:30:47,400 Speaker 1: the first? Excuse me? Mash the white what is it? 506 00:30:47,760 --> 00:30:49,640 Speaker 1: I'll call your suit Reddy and the bat wing is 507 00:30:49,680 --> 00:30:53,760 Speaker 1: few up. The DMVs of a rum by comical Villains. Great, 508 00:30:53,920 --> 00:30:57,200 Speaker 1: I guess we got to go to work. I'll just 509 00:30:57,360 --> 00:31:01,040 Speaker 1: hold down the floor. Right, we're gonna register the batmanbile 510 00:31:01,720 --> 00:31:04,400 Speaker 1: while we're there. Oh are we? Ye? Great? I'll fold 511 00:31:04,480 --> 00:31:08,000 Speaker 1: up the appropriate phone's fault. You said, thank you all 512 00:31:08,040 --> 00:31:12,200 Speaker 1: for you the best? Okay, number two six four, that's me, 513 00:31:12,920 --> 00:31:16,920 Speaker 1: two six four, that's me Okay, And what can I 514 00:31:16,960 --> 00:31:19,680 Speaker 1: do for you today? I want to reregister a vehicle. Okay, 515 00:31:19,720 --> 00:31:24,920 Speaker 1: reregistered terrific soda. Now it's filled with high fruit dose 516 00:31:25,000 --> 00:31:27,920 Speaker 1: corn cereal. Just stop drinking that ship then I'll just 517 00:31:27,920 --> 00:31:33,000 Speaker 1: have a gator right there. That's worse. Okay, Batman, you'd 518 00:31:33,000 --> 00:31:36,800 Speaker 1: like that's to rain today? I think so he's got 519 00:31:36,800 --> 00:31:41,360 Speaker 1: a weird umbrella. Bamew what's going on with that umbrella? What? 520 00:31:41,360 --> 00:31:43,920 Speaker 1: What that's in your business? Okay? What's your middle initial? 521 00:31:45,520 --> 00:31:48,120 Speaker 1: What do you talk like that to me? It's just 522 00:31:48,240 --> 00:31:50,200 Speaker 1: that's part of the Today has been a weird day. 523 00:31:50,200 --> 00:31:53,000 Speaker 1: Nobody wants to give me their information. Okay, at least 524 00:31:53,000 --> 00:31:58,640 Speaker 1: the last four of your social place last for social Okay, 525 00:31:59,640 --> 00:32:03,160 Speaker 1: my year, because I we're not there yet, Oh gotcha? Okay, terrific. 526 00:32:03,200 --> 00:32:05,360 Speaker 1: We want a candy bar or something. I don't want 527 00:32:05,360 --> 00:32:10,560 Speaker 1: a candy bar, but okay, uh, in order to reregister 528 00:32:10,640 --> 00:32:12,600 Speaker 1: this new vehicle. You're gonna need to take a new 529 00:32:12,680 --> 00:32:16,000 Speaker 1: vehicle reregistered the vehicle part of me. You're going to 530 00:32:16,040 --> 00:32:19,640 Speaker 1: need to take a photo with your closest and personal 531 00:32:19,720 --> 00:32:26,080 Speaker 1: love loved one. Only one person, please the government dot gov. 532 00:32:26,160 --> 00:32:28,600 Speaker 1: You know what I mean. You don't have to pick me, 533 00:32:29,560 --> 00:32:31,040 Speaker 1: just one person. You want to get in a picture 534 00:32:31,080 --> 00:32:34,320 Speaker 1: with men Robin. Robin really wants that. He wants it 535 00:32:34,360 --> 00:32:38,720 Speaker 1: too much. You have a dollar? Can you see in 536 00:32:38,720 --> 00:32:40,840 Speaker 1: my office for a one second? Here? What's up? What 537 00:32:41,080 --> 00:32:46,440 Speaker 1: are you doing such a poor job on before? I'm 538 00:32:46,480 --> 00:32:49,479 Speaker 1: I'm you're a villain, but you still work for the DMV, 539 00:32:50,240 --> 00:32:52,800 Speaker 1: And I'm conflicted. I don't know, I don't know what 540 00:32:52,920 --> 00:33:00,360 Speaker 1: to do? Bin your bin? Ye? What's my plug? Was? World? 541 00:33:00,600 --> 00:33:02,800 Speaker 1: I took up a job here and I take pride 542 00:33:02,800 --> 00:33:06,200 Speaker 1: and what we do? How do you balance work life 543 00:33:06,240 --> 00:33:09,520 Speaker 1: with work life? Honestly? I help him quite a bit 544 00:33:09,520 --> 00:33:12,880 Speaker 1: of calendar man, And once you have at all organized 545 00:33:13,040 --> 00:33:15,800 Speaker 1: very well, you can do a lot. Have you organized 546 00:33:15,840 --> 00:33:18,160 Speaker 1: your life with a calendar? I have not. I'll tell 547 00:33:18,160 --> 00:33:23,400 Speaker 1: you what? Do we all share the same foes in common? Batman? Yeah, 548 00:33:23,720 --> 00:33:26,719 Speaker 1: of course he's the worst, but you still have to 549 00:33:26,760 --> 00:33:30,400 Speaker 1: serve him. Until the trosaction is Dad makes sense, So 550 00:33:30,480 --> 00:33:32,840 Speaker 1: keep back out there and clothes that dear, don't pinch 551 00:33:32,920 --> 00:33:38,280 Speaker 1: my butt. Okay, have you chosen your photo partner? I 552 00:33:38,320 --> 00:33:40,800 Speaker 1: just want to make sure Robin's okay with it. I 553 00:33:40,840 --> 00:33:44,280 Speaker 1: just want to wait around. Fine, ask him. They didn't 554 00:33:44,280 --> 00:33:51,720 Speaker 1: have any mars bargum, we miss you. Um. So there's 555 00:33:51,720 --> 00:33:54,480 Speaker 1: this thing that the d NB, the government has to 556 00:33:54,480 --> 00:33:56,440 Speaker 1: take a picture of pat Mos like his closest personal 557 00:33:56,520 --> 00:33:59,360 Speaker 1: love one and um, it's gonna leave one person. And 558 00:33:59,360 --> 00:34:00,920 Speaker 1: we're just like, I'm not sure if how we were 559 00:34:00,920 --> 00:34:03,880 Speaker 1: going to go about that, because like you really importing him, 560 00:34:03,920 --> 00:34:08,239 Speaker 1: But like I mean, do you want to say to meything? Ah? 561 00:34:08,880 --> 00:34:11,239 Speaker 1: Do you want to get him the picture with me? Oh? 562 00:34:12,640 --> 00:34:19,600 Speaker 1: Yeah you do? Yeah I do. Sorry, baby man, step 563 00:34:19,640 --> 00:34:22,080 Speaker 1: out of the frame. Place, step out of the frame, 564 00:34:23,480 --> 00:34:29,960 Speaker 1: out of the screen, move away from their frame. It's 565 00:34:30,040 --> 00:34:33,439 Speaker 1: me the penguin, Batman. Do you know who else is here? 566 00:34:33,880 --> 00:34:37,919 Speaker 1: Baine and calendar man? Batman? Who the fuck is calendar man? 567 00:34:38,000 --> 00:34:41,000 Speaker 1: I've done? He was part of your world. My word, 568 00:34:41,040 --> 00:34:43,879 Speaker 1: I don't know that like a penguin. I do. Now 569 00:34:43,880 --> 00:34:48,400 Speaker 1: watch quick quick, So what do you want to do? 570 00:34:51,880 --> 00:34:54,600 Speaker 1: Let's get the picture taken first. Let's take the picture, 571 00:34:54,680 --> 00:34:57,920 Speaker 1: then we'll fight fair enough? Can I go side by 572 00:34:58,120 --> 00:35:02,520 Speaker 1: one to three? It? Sorry? You can't smile? What one 573 00:35:02,640 --> 00:35:07,360 Speaker 1: to smiling? What am I supposed to do? Just stare blankly? 574 00:35:08,280 --> 00:35:14,080 Speaker 1: One too? Sorry? I smiled that time. The new direction 575 00:35:14,160 --> 00:35:17,160 Speaker 1: for Batman the DC universe is taking is terrible. I 576 00:35:17,200 --> 00:35:20,240 Speaker 1: don't know. I'm really glad they brought Calendar Man back 577 00:35:20,239 --> 00:35:23,080 Speaker 1: in though, because he's one of my favorite filings, because 578 00:35:23,080 --> 00:35:28,719 Speaker 1: you created him. What Yeah, we all know, huh what 579 00:35:29,640 --> 00:35:32,880 Speaker 1: you created calendar Man, James Heeney, We know you created 580 00:35:32,920 --> 00:35:35,600 Speaker 1: calendar You never read the Long Halloween? Come on, James, 581 00:35:35,960 --> 00:35:40,400 Speaker 1: James the best comic everybody. James, dude, you create You 582 00:35:40,440 --> 00:35:45,960 Speaker 1: made that up. You're going to burn in hell and 583 00:35:46,120 --> 00:35:57,000 Speaker 1: we all are going to our final scene for today evening. Guys, 584 00:35:57,239 --> 00:35:58,520 Speaker 1: I have a scene for you. I think it'd be 585 00:35:58,560 --> 00:36:00,760 Speaker 1: pretty funny. I once had a friend in an undergrad 586 00:36:00,760 --> 00:36:03,600 Speaker 1: who cheated through his bio chem degree and basically paid 587 00:36:03,640 --> 00:36:06,719 Speaker 1: his way into medical school. I'm a pharmacist, studied hard 588 00:36:06,760 --> 00:36:09,640 Speaker 1: all throughout and even this is challenging every day. I 589 00:36:09,680 --> 00:36:12,680 Speaker 1: can't imagine how difficult and downright dangerous it would be 590 00:36:12,719 --> 00:36:15,239 Speaker 1: if I cheated. Please help us to see a day 591 00:36:15,280 --> 00:36:17,080 Speaker 1: in the life of a new physician out on their 592 00:36:17,120 --> 00:36:19,000 Speaker 1: own for the first time in the medical field, who 593 00:36:19,000 --> 00:36:21,400 Speaker 1: has cheated and bribed all through their college path up 594 00:36:21,440 --> 00:36:23,879 Speaker 1: to this point. I listened to the podcast every day, 595 00:36:23,880 --> 00:36:25,960 Speaker 1: and you guys have made Tuesdays and Thursdays the best 596 00:36:26,000 --> 00:36:28,040 Speaker 1: weekdays in my book. I often try to picture what 597 00:36:28,120 --> 00:36:30,600 Speaker 1: you look like making these hilarious voices while creating the show, 598 00:36:30,680 --> 00:36:32,959 Speaker 1: So please post a video of yourselves recording the show. 599 00:36:34,120 --> 00:36:38,960 Speaker 1: Thanks for the last. J B. Garcia dr Um. I'm 600 00:36:39,040 --> 00:36:42,120 Speaker 1: so sorry to interrupted. We just need those reports back 601 00:36:42,200 --> 00:36:45,960 Speaker 1: as soon as possible. It's not a big deal, that's all. 602 00:36:46,000 --> 00:36:48,160 Speaker 1: We just need to diagnosis. It's the Manilla folder on 603 00:36:48,200 --> 00:36:50,880 Speaker 1: the top of my desk. It's got the stamp that's 604 00:36:50,960 --> 00:36:54,120 Speaker 1: his top secret. Uh, it's just a joke, but that's 605 00:36:54,160 --> 00:36:58,399 Speaker 1: the report. Okay, great, Okay, So this is for a Menendez, 606 00:36:58,840 --> 00:37:01,839 Speaker 1: it's for everybody they've had this week. Oh, I'm sorry, 607 00:37:01,880 --> 00:37:04,719 Speaker 1: I'm just looking for well, I would just go to 608 00:37:04,800 --> 00:37:07,360 Speaker 1: the M section. I'm sorry, are you not familiar with 609 00:37:07,400 --> 00:37:10,040 Speaker 1: how my reports are written out? I kind of am. 610 00:37:10,120 --> 00:37:14,880 Speaker 1: It's it's not as a fluid, I guess, or as 611 00:37:14,920 --> 00:37:17,960 Speaker 1: traditional as the rest of us do it. But you 612 00:37:18,000 --> 00:37:21,880 Speaker 1: know you're top of your class, a student Harvard, Yale, 613 00:37:21,880 --> 00:37:25,960 Speaker 1: and Princeton graduate. Amazing, So I trust you so well. 614 00:37:26,040 --> 00:37:27,919 Speaker 1: I don't want to have to embarrass you in front 615 00:37:27,920 --> 00:37:31,120 Speaker 1: of everybody. So I would just get the report and 616 00:37:31,239 --> 00:37:33,319 Speaker 1: say thank you and then walk away with it. Thank you, 617 00:37:33,640 --> 00:37:36,880 Speaker 1: Thank guy. There, Hi, I have a sore throat. My 618 00:37:36,960 --> 00:37:40,520 Speaker 1: doctor gave me this prescription to fill um. He also 619 00:37:40,560 --> 00:37:42,680 Speaker 1: said you could talk to me about like any any 620 00:37:42,880 --> 00:37:46,080 Speaker 1: side effects or as a sore throat. Well, you're probably 621 00:37:46,120 --> 00:37:49,799 Speaker 1: gonna get coughing. I would say, medication erupt me. I'm 622 00:37:49,800 --> 00:37:54,000 Speaker 1: a doctor. I'm sorry, Sorry, You're going to probably have coughing, uh, 623 00:37:54,040 --> 00:37:56,400 Speaker 1: and the side effects of the sore throat redness in 624 00:37:56,480 --> 00:38:00,719 Speaker 1: your mouth. What are you doing behind the pharmacy window? Doctor? 625 00:38:00,760 --> 00:38:02,480 Speaker 1: What are you doing at the pharmacy It was just 626 00:38:02,800 --> 00:38:04,640 Speaker 1: supposed to know, you're supposed to be in yours. I 627 00:38:04,640 --> 00:38:07,040 Speaker 1: don't want to embarrass you, but there was there was 628 00:38:07,080 --> 00:38:09,239 Speaker 1: a moment of just empty desk and I wanted to 629 00:38:09,280 --> 00:38:11,000 Speaker 1: make sure it was filled, so don't I had to 630 00:38:11,040 --> 00:38:13,360 Speaker 1: sign up. I had to sign up. The said pharmacist 631 00:38:13,440 --> 00:38:16,040 Speaker 1: will be back in a moment. Okay, well I'm that well, 632 00:38:16,080 --> 00:38:18,000 Speaker 1: I didn't want to have to shame you, so I'll 633 00:38:18,080 --> 00:38:22,080 Speaker 1: let this. Aren't your options? Okay, high five tag you're 634 00:38:22,120 --> 00:38:26,239 Speaker 1: tagged in, Dr Trhillo. Yeah, okay, you know what the 635 00:38:26,360 --> 00:38:29,400 Speaker 1: nipple cancer you said? I had cut off both my 636 00:38:29,440 --> 00:38:32,040 Speaker 1: fucking nipples and apparently that's that's not even a thing. 637 00:38:32,480 --> 00:38:34,640 Speaker 1: What are you talking about? I got a sick in opinion. 638 00:38:34,600 --> 00:38:37,080 Speaker 1: Apparently isn't even a goddamn thing. Nipple cancer is not 639 00:38:37,120 --> 00:38:39,399 Speaker 1: a thing. No, if so, you want to have your 640 00:38:39,960 --> 00:38:42,719 Speaker 1: nipples or moves, Yeah, listen, I'm a tattoo artists. Okay, 641 00:38:42,719 --> 00:38:44,960 Speaker 1: I'm not a body part removal guy. But if you 642 00:38:45,000 --> 00:38:47,600 Speaker 1: need it, you need it. Yeah, I got I don't 643 00:38:47,600 --> 00:38:52,279 Speaker 1: really got much health. The scan, Uh what was that? 644 00:38:52,400 --> 00:38:55,520 Speaker 1: The slave the scan? I don't know what the first 645 00:38:55,560 --> 00:38:57,960 Speaker 1: part of that that she said. She's saying the ray, 646 00:38:59,200 --> 00:39:03,960 Speaker 1: Oh sir, I don't comment that either. Okay, you mouth 647 00:39:04,080 --> 00:39:07,279 Speaker 1: yourself nipples. I was looking at those plumpers. I'm sorry. 648 00:39:07,320 --> 00:39:10,319 Speaker 1: I just got the horrible news. Raise your shirt. Yeah yeah, 649 00:39:10,360 --> 00:39:14,719 Speaker 1: what was that news exactly? That I have nipple cancer? Yeah? Yeah, 650 00:39:15,200 --> 00:39:16,799 Speaker 1: well then that means we can't use these nipples. After 651 00:39:16,840 --> 00:39:18,960 Speaker 1: we cut them off, I can use them for stuff, 652 00:39:19,160 --> 00:39:21,400 Speaker 1: all right, don't worry about it. Raise your hands over 653 00:39:21,440 --> 00:39:24,719 Speaker 1: your head. Please sing your favorite song. Oh, tell the 654 00:39:24,960 --> 00:39:41,680 Speaker 1: news it turns. I'm sorry, Dr Trio. You say I 655 00:39:41,719 --> 00:39:46,200 Speaker 1: have bad bones? Yeah, you're bad to the bone. How 656 00:39:46,280 --> 00:39:48,839 Speaker 1: much time do I have? Not much? Unless you turn 657 00:39:48,920 --> 00:39:54,799 Speaker 1: things around? How would I do that? Well? How about this? 658 00:39:55,520 --> 00:39:58,080 Speaker 1: Why don't you sit down really quick? Let me pour 659 00:39:58,160 --> 00:40:02,239 Speaker 1: you a glass of milk. All right, all right, you're 660 00:40:02,239 --> 00:40:06,839 Speaker 1: not lactose intolerant, am. Yeah, it's very well, you know 661 00:40:06,920 --> 00:40:11,919 Speaker 1: what it's really Sometimes medicine has adverse effects. Just drink 662 00:40:12,000 --> 00:40:13,640 Speaker 1: this cup of milk. It's just so weird. It just 663 00:40:13,680 --> 00:40:17,000 Speaker 1: came in with bad headaches and bad bones. Well, bad 664 00:40:17,080 --> 00:40:21,080 Speaker 1: to the bones, bad to the bone. George thoroughgood disease. 665 00:40:22,360 --> 00:40:24,360 Speaker 1: I don't know the scientific term, but I know what 666 00:40:24,400 --> 00:40:26,560 Speaker 1: I'm looking at here. I've heard of it. At biker 667 00:40:26,600 --> 00:40:30,960 Speaker 1: friend of mine had that. He he died really young. Really, 668 00:40:31,080 --> 00:40:34,800 Speaker 1: only the good die young. I don't have Billy joeld disease. 669 00:40:35,680 --> 00:40:37,560 Speaker 1: I hope. Yeah, So, I mean that was that was 670 00:40:37,600 --> 00:40:39,160 Speaker 1: the case that I had today. I mean, you guys 671 00:40:39,160 --> 00:40:42,000 Speaker 1: know that. I mean, I mean we've been doing if 672 00:40:42,000 --> 00:40:53,800 Speaker 1: you're that's away, doctor teeth right right, r teeth. The 673 00:40:53,880 --> 00:41:00,959 Speaker 1: Muppet muppets are real? By muppets are not real, it's not. 674 00:41:01,880 --> 00:41:04,160 Speaker 1: He's a brain surge and he's also a comedian. Also, 675 00:41:04,360 --> 00:41:07,080 Speaker 1: I also happened to be the break room barista. So 676 00:41:07,160 --> 00:41:10,600 Speaker 1: coffee is ready? You call yourself a breefe that when 677 00:41:10,600 --> 00:41:16,160 Speaker 1: it's in this press. Okay, quickly, I have a serious question. Absolutely, 678 00:41:16,200 --> 00:41:19,520 Speaker 1: you guys are my first friends. So I'm wade. Let's 679 00:41:19,560 --> 00:41:22,480 Speaker 1: have a moment for that. Thank you, well, thank you, 680 00:41:22,520 --> 00:41:24,919 Speaker 1: thank you very much. It's true. I mean I spend 681 00:41:24,920 --> 00:41:27,360 Speaker 1: more time here than I do with my wife. That's 682 00:41:27,400 --> 00:41:31,480 Speaker 1: definitely true. I mean, as you know, when you're a doctor, doctor, 683 00:41:32,200 --> 00:41:34,320 Speaker 1: is this going to be a really full time chop? 684 00:41:35,560 --> 00:41:38,759 Speaker 1: What's that? I'm sorry, I'm sorry, comedian? Is it an 685 00:41:38,920 --> 00:41:46,239 Speaker 1: open door? How many honors do you guys got to 686 00:41:46,239 --> 00:41:49,880 Speaker 1: plug a week? Twelve fourteen fifteen sixteen bars of that? 687 00:41:50,160 --> 00:41:55,520 Speaker 1: That's not that day day, day, per day. I'm glad 688 00:41:55,560 --> 00:41:58,480 Speaker 1: you're here. Actually it's true here right, yeah, I know 689 00:41:58,520 --> 00:42:01,480 Speaker 1: we haven't spent much time together there, but your doctor 690 00:42:00,440 --> 00:42:06,279 Speaker 1: and I heard I read your file. Yeah, you know, congratulations, 691 00:42:06,719 --> 00:42:10,640 Speaker 1: pausing your transcript around insane. Yeah, so it's about my wife, 692 00:42:10,680 --> 00:42:14,280 Speaker 1: who you heard me talking about earlier. Oh yeah, everyone 693 00:42:14,320 --> 00:42:18,840 Speaker 1: here knows her status best. But I'll tell you what. 694 00:42:19,040 --> 00:42:20,759 Speaker 1: When I got the email saying that we got this 695 00:42:20,800 --> 00:42:23,759 Speaker 1: new doctor in here, I was like, there's my hope. 696 00:42:24,239 --> 00:42:28,839 Speaker 1: You know your specialties are her last hope. So really, yes, absolutely, 697 00:42:28,880 --> 00:42:31,080 Speaker 1: and you know we're all best friends here. I love it. 698 00:42:31,160 --> 00:42:33,480 Speaker 1: We can say that thank you, and it's going to 699 00:42:33,560 --> 00:42:36,239 Speaker 1: mean so much to all doctors if you save her. 700 00:42:36,520 --> 00:42:37,880 Speaker 1: Maybe you should take a look at her charts and 701 00:42:37,920 --> 00:42:46,040 Speaker 1: see that would be great here. Oh wow, I honestly, doctor, 702 00:42:48,280 --> 00:42:50,560 Speaker 1: I got to take my California state break. I've been 703 00:42:50,600 --> 00:42:52,839 Speaker 1: working for four hours and then it hates a break. 704 00:42:52,880 --> 00:42:54,960 Speaker 1: Oh no, no, no, that's not for doctors. Yeah, that's 705 00:42:54,960 --> 00:42:58,880 Speaker 1: for servers, waiters. Okay, well, I'll take a quick glance 706 00:42:58,920 --> 00:43:05,839 Speaker 1: at it. Thank you look like Seduko. Uh, it's just 707 00:43:06,040 --> 00:43:08,120 Speaker 1: I don't think you know what Seduko is. It doesn't 708 00:43:08,160 --> 00:43:10,840 Speaker 1: look like that at all. It doesn't. This is all writing, 709 00:43:11,000 --> 00:43:13,279 Speaker 1: is it? A gridful of The numbers one through nine 710 00:43:14,880 --> 00:43:18,080 Speaker 1: really are funny, by the way, quick tip invest in 711 00:43:18,120 --> 00:43:22,680 Speaker 1: eight I'd really like to get a better look at 712 00:43:22,719 --> 00:43:24,960 Speaker 1: this later, But my gut says that you're making a 713 00:43:24,960 --> 00:43:28,120 Speaker 1: bigger deal a lot of it than it is later. 714 00:43:28,160 --> 00:43:29,960 Speaker 1: I got a triple bypass at four thirty. I could 715 00:43:30,000 --> 00:43:32,640 Speaker 1: really use an assist. Dr Siegel still out, so you 716 00:43:32,680 --> 00:43:35,080 Speaker 1: would mind joining me on that. I'll pass on that too. 717 00:43:36,000 --> 00:43:38,319 Speaker 1: You didn't ask me to do it? Why didn't you 718 00:43:38,320 --> 00:43:40,960 Speaker 1: ask Schlemming to do it? Slimy. I just thought it'd 719 00:43:41,000 --> 00:43:43,200 Speaker 1: be good. Do you know? Try by fire for being 720 00:43:43,239 --> 00:43:47,400 Speaker 1: your bypass. Fine, it's it's not fine, it's we're just 721 00:43:47,480 --> 00:43:50,279 Speaker 1: best friends. Yeah, this relationship is important to you. Yeah, 722 00:43:50,320 --> 00:43:54,040 Speaker 1: you don't give the new guy the bibe? Whatever and true? 723 00:43:54,080 --> 00:43:57,400 Speaker 1: Hello you you claimed to with study under Porkinson. It 724 00:43:58,000 --> 00:44:01,560 Speaker 1: at Harvard, right, I don't know why is your brain? 725 00:44:01,960 --> 00:44:05,360 Speaker 1: So Parkinson is actually doing some rounds here. We can 726 00:44:05,400 --> 00:44:11,879 Speaker 1: get him in, you know, I'd love to just see 727 00:44:11,880 --> 00:44:15,000 Speaker 1: Porkinson and try here, you know, reconnecting. I've never seen 728 00:44:15,360 --> 00:44:23,200 Speaker 1: anybody that's what. It's Porkinson. There's Parkinson. It's your old 729 00:44:23,239 --> 00:44:28,040 Speaker 1: students here. Porky, remember me. You put the file down? 730 00:44:28,080 --> 00:44:29,799 Speaker 1: Why is it coming in your face? I just well, 731 00:44:29,920 --> 00:44:32,840 Speaker 1: I trying to stop. Why do you have all the 732 00:44:32,880 --> 00:44:38,759 Speaker 1: masks over your eyes? Student? Yes, he graduated just six 733 00:44:38,840 --> 00:44:52,040 Speaker 1: months ago. Est is there a doctor your I don't 734 00:44:52,040 --> 00:44:54,160 Speaker 1: want to call it. Does anyone else want to? I'll 735 00:44:54,239 --> 00:44:57,960 Speaker 1: call it? He's dead? Oh he's dead. He's not dead. 736 00:44:58,080 --> 00:45:03,480 Speaker 1: He's not dead. Mortist. Guys, trust Trio. Trust. I think 737 00:45:03,520 --> 00:45:08,120 Speaker 1: we could save him. Maybe I can help. Oh my god, man, 738 00:45:09,239 --> 00:45:22,480 Speaker 1: wait up, your shorts are bleeding. Goddamn it, we've lost him. 739 00:45:23,160 --> 00:45:25,759 Speaker 1: I told you, guys, no one ever believes me. All right, 740 00:45:25,840 --> 00:45:27,879 Speaker 1: let's take you to your appointment. Robin. Oh my god, 741 00:45:27,920 --> 00:45:32,359 Speaker 1: I don't, sir, you're getting hanging out of your shorts. Yeah, 742 00:45:32,360 --> 00:45:34,319 Speaker 1: I know you have to get these general a wards 743 00:45:34,360 --> 00:45:40,359 Speaker 1: looked at? Well, is here? Trio is specialist. You said 744 00:45:40,360 --> 00:45:42,759 Speaker 1: you're expert in general awards. Can we just go to 745 00:45:42,800 --> 00:45:45,719 Speaker 1: a room or something flopping on the table? Put it 746 00:45:45,760 --> 00:45:48,239 Speaker 1: on the table. Wow, let's tiger than. My thought was 747 00:45:48,280 --> 00:45:52,480 Speaker 1: going to be, Oh my god, covered in warts, but 748 00:45:52,680 --> 00:45:56,759 Speaker 1: impressive doctors. Would you say he's normal? No, well I 749 00:45:56,880 --> 00:46:00,399 Speaker 1: got these warts. I'd say he's above average. I'd say 750 00:46:00,440 --> 00:46:03,600 Speaker 1: he's above average. Well, but you're also I mean, we're 751 00:46:03,600 --> 00:46:07,120 Speaker 1: not addressing to all the wards. Oh, the warts look weird. 752 00:46:08,600 --> 00:46:10,640 Speaker 1: I've seen a case of this before. Robin. Were you 753 00:46:10,719 --> 00:46:17,000 Speaker 1: hooking up with supervillain Madam Frog? No, no, Robin, I 754 00:46:17,000 --> 00:46:20,800 Speaker 1: don't have to say that. We've all been there as doctors. 755 00:46:20,880 --> 00:46:23,880 Speaker 1: We have all been there. I mean, when you're a doctor, doctor, 756 00:46:24,600 --> 00:46:28,640 Speaker 1: m who who cares? It's not a matter of caring. 757 00:46:28,680 --> 00:46:31,239 Speaker 1: It's a matter if there's one anecdote that can, you know, 758 00:46:31,360 --> 00:46:34,040 Speaker 1: take these words down. But to get that anecdote, we're 759 00:46:34,040 --> 00:46:37,040 Speaker 1: gonna have to hear you admit in front of your lover. Anecdote. Oh, 760 00:46:37,160 --> 00:46:39,520 Speaker 1: I meant antidote. No, but we gotta tell a little 761 00:46:40,000 --> 00:46:43,000 Speaker 1: I can tell the story, but there is a story 762 00:46:43,080 --> 00:46:47,920 Speaker 1: that st No, no, no, the antidote will make the 763 00:46:48,200 --> 00:46:50,240 Speaker 1: words go down. But this story would make you understand 764 00:46:50,280 --> 00:46:52,880 Speaker 1: where the antidote came from. It. It'll also make us 765 00:46:53,000 --> 00:46:55,359 Speaker 1: more relatable. I just want the antidote. I don't care 766 00:46:55,440 --> 00:47:02,200 Speaker 1: what the story, anecdote, the antidote. Oh you want this story? No, no, 767 00:47:02,280 --> 00:47:05,120 Speaker 1: one just give me this series the nineties. Um, you 768 00:47:05,200 --> 00:47:08,600 Speaker 1: know everyone's at clubs right, this is pre you know 769 00:47:08,680 --> 00:47:13,200 Speaker 1: we're doing the good stuff, even real stuff. Can I 770 00:47:13,320 --> 00:47:15,960 Speaker 1: check your I D doctor? Can I check your I 771 00:47:16,040 --> 00:47:24,839 Speaker 1: d I'm a doctor, stethoscope, thank you. One thing led 772 00:47:24,840 --> 00:47:27,960 Speaker 1: to another, and then so you cared me a story 773 00:47:27,960 --> 00:47:37,080 Speaker 1: about the bouncer into and it's a time when doctors 774 00:47:37,120 --> 00:47:40,160 Speaker 1: could get in. Come back, batman, don't leave. Look if 775 00:47:40,200 --> 00:47:42,319 Speaker 1: you want the antidote, it's it's around her neck, it's 776 00:47:42,360 --> 00:47:45,399 Speaker 1: in that vial. Can I please have it? Well, oh 777 00:47:45,520 --> 00:47:49,239 Speaker 1: my god, we just need you. Oh who are you? 778 00:47:52,040 --> 00:47:56,520 Speaker 1: It's me the doctor? Thank you? And so what the 779 00:47:56,600 --> 00:47:58,920 Speaker 1: fund is the story about? Well, because I left my 780 00:47:59,239 --> 00:48:00,920 Speaker 1: I was like, did I leave my brides on? And 781 00:48:01,000 --> 00:48:02,480 Speaker 1: so I went back out and then I had to 782 00:48:02,560 --> 00:48:04,800 Speaker 1: go back in. She's a doctor. Just go with and 783 00:48:04,840 --> 00:48:07,279 Speaker 1: trust me to reveal on who the bouncer is. Is 784 00:48:07,440 --> 00:48:16,040 Speaker 1: worth it? All right? Oh what's your name? What's your name? 785 00:48:16,480 --> 00:48:21,799 Speaker 1: Marcus Kerner? And I actually went to high school. That's 786 00:48:21,800 --> 00:48:30,640 Speaker 1: an amazing anecdote. That's really great. Irony of irony. Something 787 00:48:30,719 --> 00:48:34,440 Speaker 1: for the vending machine. Yeah, gatorade. They don't have gatorade. 788 00:48:34,440 --> 00:48:36,160 Speaker 1: You're kidding me. They have gatorade. Just give me a 789 00:48:36,239 --> 00:48:40,720 Speaker 1: soda that I'm gonna get your bottle of water, I asked, 790 00:48:42,960 --> 00:48:49,239 Speaker 1: Sorry to interrupt. I'm a different character, no doubt, about it. 791 00:48:49,600 --> 00:48:54,760 Speaker 1: Just found out one of you doctors here is a fraud. Frog. 792 00:48:56,360 --> 00:49:00,480 Speaker 1: Maybe they gave the war a fraud. What do you 793 00:49:00,520 --> 00:49:03,880 Speaker 1: have that umbrella? Pals? That rang up? It's about to 794 00:49:03,920 --> 00:49:06,680 Speaker 1: be raining. I didn't hear that on the news this morning, 795 00:49:07,360 --> 00:49:12,319 Speaker 1: raining blood of a fraud frog. They're saying, frog, one 796 00:49:12,400 --> 00:49:17,839 Speaker 1: of you is a fraud and that one can raise 797 00:49:17,920 --> 00:49:21,879 Speaker 1: your hand if you're actually a doctor. My hand goes, 798 00:49:21,920 --> 00:49:25,400 Speaker 1: hand up. Doctor, you're a doctor. I'm going to repeat 799 00:49:25,440 --> 00:49:31,600 Speaker 1: this this time. Don't lie, okay, real will be this. 800 00:49:31,960 --> 00:49:36,600 Speaker 1: Why would I lie about me? Femish? Who are you? 801 00:49:37,880 --> 00:49:43,920 Speaker 1: Who are you? Doctor? Stevenson's a riddler? Oh that's a riddler. 802 00:49:44,160 --> 00:49:50,240 Speaker 1: I need a dollar? What riddler? Are there? Multiple riddler? 803 00:49:50,320 --> 00:49:53,879 Speaker 1: My pockets are too tight, I can't reach in. Well, 804 00:49:54,080 --> 00:50:02,320 Speaker 1: what's your dick so heavy? That's right, I've been posing 805 00:50:02,360 --> 00:50:07,920 Speaker 1: as a doctor this entire time. Oh, I can't believe it. 806 00:50:07,960 --> 00:50:10,840 Speaker 1: I told you my whole life story. You're one of 807 00:50:10,920 --> 00:50:13,480 Speaker 1: my best friends. You looked at my wife. Riddle me this. 808 00:50:13,840 --> 00:50:15,840 Speaker 1: Why would I do that? If not to get to 809 00:50:15,960 --> 00:50:18,120 Speaker 1: know each of you better and keep you, treat you 810 00:50:18,200 --> 00:50:25,200 Speaker 1: with family so sweet. I just got a text she's dead. 811 00:50:26,320 --> 00:50:30,560 Speaker 1: Who oh your wife. Oh god, my kid just texted 812 00:50:30,640 --> 00:50:34,759 Speaker 1: me all caps mom and I get it. Mommies, Bye bye, 813 00:50:36,360 --> 00:50:40,239 Speaker 1: Mommy's so it was as serious? We thought, Well, I 814 00:50:40,320 --> 00:50:42,320 Speaker 1: told you to take more of a look later. But 815 00:50:42,480 --> 00:50:45,040 Speaker 1: now you said you said it wasn't serious. I said 816 00:50:45,080 --> 00:50:46,719 Speaker 1: that my gut says stuff, but I'd like to look 817 00:50:46,760 --> 00:50:48,759 Speaker 1: at it later. Here. Let me let me just help. 818 00:50:48,800 --> 00:50:54,520 Speaker 1: You're not not leave. Hey, No one's gut would steer 819 00:50:54,560 --> 00:50:57,600 Speaker 1: them that wrong. What No doctor's gut would steer them 820 00:50:57,640 --> 00:51:00,960 Speaker 1: that wrong? When that man's wardy, bean, I'm gonna put 821 00:51:01,040 --> 00:51:03,879 Speaker 1: the penis down. I can fix this. I don't mind. 822 00:51:04,480 --> 00:51:06,920 Speaker 1: Get your mouth away from that penis. You kiss it 823 00:51:07,000 --> 00:51:13,480 Speaker 1: and make it. Let him try. Okay, and see now 824 00:51:13,560 --> 00:51:15,720 Speaker 1: this is all I'm gonna be fine. Guys, I'm a ductor. 825 00:51:16,320 --> 00:51:21,160 Speaker 1: Your lips are swelling, you it's not swelling. Should we 826 00:51:21,239 --> 00:51:23,839 Speaker 1: get Parkinson's corpse down to the morgue? By the way, 827 00:51:25,280 --> 00:51:33,600 Speaker 1: and that's our show. Our famous catchphrase porks has ended 828 00:51:33,680 --> 00:51:44,719 Speaker 1: so many scenes. Batman was about to walk in on that. Well, 829 00:51:44,760 --> 00:51:47,880 Speaker 1: that's our show for today. Let's thank our alchemists plug stuff. 830 00:51:48,000 --> 00:51:50,399 Speaker 1: Chris Alverado, Yes again, I'm at here for a little while. 831 00:51:50,400 --> 00:51:52,520 Speaker 1: I love you all so much. Come see me off Broadway. 832 00:51:52,560 --> 00:51:54,520 Speaker 1: Hashtag date me at the west Side Theater. Thank you, 833 00:51:54,640 --> 00:51:59,640 Speaker 1: I love you. Oh nice, Um, I'm just around town. 834 00:52:00,040 --> 00:52:03,480 Speaker 1: Come to Dynasty Typewriter. Follow us on Instagram, enjoy the 835 00:52:03,560 --> 00:52:07,799 Speaker 1: marquis art that we do and have a great day. 836 00:52:08,280 --> 00:52:18,640 Speaker 1: Yeah Greg hashtag hashtag date Me's that request? Please? Yes? 837 00:52:19,600 --> 00:52:22,480 Speaker 1: James Heny on Twitter, you can find me at the 838 00:52:22,560 --> 00:52:24,840 Speaker 1: Heat and I'd like you to use that to watch 839 00:52:24,960 --> 00:52:28,000 Speaker 1: the newst episode of This Rusher Thing with John Bolton. 840 00:52:28,280 --> 00:52:31,960 Speaker 1: Hell yeah, nice. Joey Greer at Jeffy Grieber on Instagram. 841 00:52:32,040 --> 00:52:34,080 Speaker 1: And every second and fourth Wednesday at nine o'clock at 842 00:52:34,120 --> 00:52:38,279 Speaker 1: Westside Comedy Theater. Bear supply nice. I'm Cole Stratton. You 843 00:52:38,320 --> 00:52:40,040 Speaker 1: should come see a lot of us in Pretty Pretty 844 00:52:40,800 --> 00:52:44,080 Speaker 1: Comedy Theater. Most of us are in that. It's the second, 845 00:52:44,360 --> 00:52:48,120 Speaker 1: uh first Thursday of every month at ten pm. I'm 846 00:52:48,160 --> 00:52:51,279 Speaker 1: also at col Stratton on Twitter at Stratton Cole on Instagram. 847 00:52:51,800 --> 00:52:55,839 Speaker 1: Let's also thank our engineer Doug Babe, our post sound 848 00:52:55,880 --> 00:53:02,040 Speaker 1: design artist Raphael Brito, our producers Sophie looked Man, and lastly, 849 00:53:02,160 --> 00:53:07,440 Speaker 1: I heart media Crickets encourage all of you guys to 850 00:53:07,480 --> 00:53:09,640 Speaker 1: write a review. Tell everyone you've ever met and write 851 00:53:09,680 --> 00:53:12,560 Speaker 1: to us at your name here at alchemy this dot com. 852 00:53:13,040 --> 00:53:16,480 Speaker 1: That's your name here at alchemy this dot com. Until 853 00:53:16,560 --> 00:53:17,080 Speaker 1: next time,