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Speaker 1: Brought to you by the reinvented two thousand twelve Camray.

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Speaker 1: It's ready. Are you welcome to stump Mom Never told you?

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Speaker 1: From House top Works dot Com. Hello, and welcome to

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Speaker 1: the podcast. This is Molly and I'm Kristin, and this

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Speaker 1: podcast that we were doing right now Kristen is going

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Speaker 1: to be available for downloading on our producer Jerry's Birthday

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Speaker 1: a k a. Valentine's Day. Yes, I referred to it

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Speaker 1: as Jerry Day, right, I think most people who work

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Speaker 1: here do, right, But when we were looking at the countar,

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Speaker 1: we were like, oh, man, the rest of the world,

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Speaker 1: who doesn't know Jerry. Unfortunately, we'll probably think it's a

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Speaker 1: Valentine's Day episode. So we decided to do something in

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Speaker 1: the in the realm of love kissing, And I have

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Speaker 1: to say I'm probably the luckiest person in the world

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Speaker 1: because before we started recording Kristen, Kristin serenaded me with

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Speaker 1: a kiss is just a kid. You're trying to get

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Speaker 1: me to sing, Molly, and it's not gonna happen. No,

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Speaker 1: I'm just for living a happy memory. Okay. I mean

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Speaker 1: that's sort of how podcasts start. I try and get

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Speaker 1: Chrismen to save me a song and then I'm ready

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Speaker 1: to record. Yeah, that's what I need. Just see. You know,

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Speaker 1: I'm just warming up my pipes the old podcast, and

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Speaker 1: well you warmed up your pipes. We've warmed up our

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Speaker 1: brains with this research. What did we find out about kissing?

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Speaker 1: Where did the kiss come from? Where did the kids

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Speaker 1: come from? That's a tyfficult question to answer, but I

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Speaker 1: can tell you this. There are all sorts of kisses,

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Speaker 1: true hershey's her, she's kisses, you know. Ye that we

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Speaker 1: think of kisses is the kiss on the lips, a

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Speaker 1: romantic kiss, maybe a kiss on a cheek, a kiss

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Speaker 1: to greet someone, to kisses say goodbye. But nay, there

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Speaker 1: are far many more kinds. And uh. This research on

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Speaker 1: kissing goes back to this guy, Martin von Kemp, who

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Speaker 1: lived in seventeenth century, and he wrote the Opus polyhistoric

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Speaker 1: Um day oscars and which he listed more than twenty

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Speaker 1: different types of kisses, including a kiss of veneration, a

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Speaker 1: kiss of peace, kissing of the pope's foot, kissing bestowed

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Speaker 1: by superiors on inferiors, kissing used in academic degree ceremonies,

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Speaker 1: kisses exchanged by couples seiling their marriage vowels, a kiss

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Speaker 1: of reconciliation. And it kind of makes sense that this

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Speaker 1: German guy was so obsessed with kissing because in the

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Speaker 1: German language, I think there are more than uh like

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Speaker 1: fifteen different words to describe different kinds of kisses, one

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Speaker 1: of which is meant to um. It translates to a

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Speaker 1: kiss to make up for kisses that were not previously given.

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Speaker 1: That's the sweetest ste finish never yeah, I mean apparently Germans,

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Speaker 1: are you know, kissing kissing? Crazy? Yeah, and bond camp.

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Speaker 1: It took a thousand pages, more than a thousand pages

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Speaker 1: to outline all these types of kisses, although it is

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Speaker 1: kind of a dull, dull title for a book about

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Speaker 1: such a splendid thing. Yes, and in cych an ancient

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Speaker 1: and cyclop pedia of kissing. And but that was not

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Speaker 1: the first time. Obviously, by the seventeenth century people had

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Speaker 1: seen a picture of a kiss. Before the first picture

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Speaker 1: of a kiss comes to us from India. It's the

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Speaker 1: first recorded image of a kiss, so that's why some

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Speaker 1: people think that's where where it all originated. And then

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Speaker 1: when the people came through India, like Alexander the Gray

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Speaker 1: and then kept moving westward, they took the kiss with them. Right.

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Speaker 1: The that first image that you're talking about was tracked

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Speaker 1: down by an anthropologist at Texas A and and M University

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Speaker 1: named Vaughn Bryant, and it goes back to around b

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Speaker 1: C where he says that scriptures started to mention people

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Speaker 1: sniffing with their mouths, and then later texts describes lovers

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Speaker 1: quote setting mouth to mouth. So perhaps kissing in the

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Speaker 1: in the sense of an erotic kiss, a sexual kiss

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Speaker 1: originated in India. Perhaps you know What's what's kind of

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Speaker 1: funny is despite the fact that we've got let's say,

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Speaker 1: a thousand page and cyclope on kissing, we're still not

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Speaker 1: going to have a definitive answer on why we kiss,

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Speaker 1: right Because while I think it's around ninety percent of

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Speaker 1: human cultures are known to kiss from lip to lip,

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Speaker 1: to practice slip on lip kissing for purposes of love,

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Speaker 1: for purposes of love, it is not universal. And Darwin

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Speaker 1: even points this out that even in cultures that that

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Speaker 1: might not do a lip to lip kiss, there's either

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Speaker 1: some kind of cheek on cheek rubbing or maybe nose

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Speaker 1: to nose kissing. We all have amnesian cultures practice we

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Speaker 1: all get up in each other's faces. We do, and

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Speaker 1: different um animal species will do this. Birds will touch beaks,

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Speaker 1: snails will rub their antennas. So that gets into why

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Speaker 1: would we want to be so close to another person's face, because,

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Speaker 1: let's face, that can get a little awkward every now

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Speaker 1: and then, yeah, halitosis, hello, And so why do we

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Speaker 1: need to do this? Why is this sort of a

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Speaker 1: common ritual in in falling in love? And this gets

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Speaker 1: into some of the theories as to how kissing evolved.

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Speaker 1: One theory goes that, uh, you know, like think of

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Speaker 1: a bird who choose for the food. The bubble bird

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Speaker 1: chooses to choose the food up for the baby birds

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Speaker 1: and then puts it in their mouth. There's some thinking

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Speaker 1: that kissing kind of evolved from that, yes, pre mastication,

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Speaker 1: that mothers used to chew up the food for the

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Speaker 1: baby and then as if enough mother and you know,

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Speaker 1: Freud had a field day with this kind of stuff

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Speaker 1: because Freud also said that, you know, maybe your mother

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Speaker 1: didn't show up your food free, but she might have

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Speaker 1: breastfed you. And the thinking goes that, you know, when

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Speaker 1: we're infant, we have this really secure feeling of being

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Speaker 1: close using our mouth to get comfort and sustenance from

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Speaker 1: our mother's and the kissing our loved ones is a

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Speaker 1: way to recapture that emotion, so to two theories of

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Speaker 1: your mother feeding you going into why you might like

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Speaker 1: to kiss your significant other. But today a lot of

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Speaker 1: people are breastfed, and yet we're still it seemed to

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Speaker 1: be kissing just fine. It's true. Well let's talk about

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Speaker 1: I think another theory that's kind of interesting is that

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Speaker 1: we're trying to suss out something about our potential mate. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: In two thousand nine at the Association for the Advancement

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Speaker 1: of Scientists, a lot of researchers came out with these

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Speaker 1: new findings about uh philomatology or the science of kissing,

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Speaker 1: and they were saying that it's all about the saliva.

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Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, I mean, like a big old slobbery kid,

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Speaker 1: is what it boils down to. Because supposedly guys like

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Speaker 1: more more I don't know, mushi's uh, they said, wet kisses,

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Speaker 1: what kisses? Thank you? Guys like what are kisses? Because supposedly, uh,

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Speaker 1: they're they're trying to what kind of inject tessacterone into

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Speaker 1: the girls now to sexually arouse her, saying that one

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Speaker 1: of the things that passes back and forth when you're

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Speaker 1: swapping spit is testosterone, and since guys have more of it,

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Speaker 1: and because testosterone increases sex drive, these researchers are saying that,

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Speaker 1: of course a guy would want to get all slabbery

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Speaker 1: on you. He's trying to increase your sex drive via

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Speaker 1: his saliva. But you know, while that sounds frankly pretty creepy,

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Speaker 1: there are some other things, other good hormones being traded

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Speaker 1: back and forth in the kissing process. Yeah, they've measured

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Speaker 1: the levels of cortisol and oxytocin in people's brains before

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Speaker 1: and after making out, and cortisol, which is a stress

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Speaker 1: related to hormone, tends to go woid down if you

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Speaker 1: have a good makeout sish, relaxes you, chills you out,

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Speaker 1: and then unless it's gross, unless the guys trying to

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Speaker 1: shove too much testosterone in your mouth. But perhaps I'm

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Speaker 1: only saying that because women tend to analyze kisses from

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Speaker 1: a man far more uh with with a far more

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Speaker 1: scrutiny than guys do. Write we will judge a man

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Speaker 1: on his teeth, on his breath, all of the stuff,

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Speaker 1: whereas dudes are just like they see it as a

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Speaker 1: means to an end. One article that and we all

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Speaker 1: know what that but I think that makes sense. And

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Speaker 1: of course, as as you might expect her on stuff

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Speaker 1: now never told you, there is, you know, perhaps an

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Speaker 1: evolutionarily evolutionary reason as to why we analyze kisses morn

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Speaker 1: and of course it's babies. The thinking goes that if we,

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Speaker 1: you know, get that that burst of testosterone, we have

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Speaker 1: sex with the fella and we end up pregnant. Oh man,

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Speaker 1: you're stuck there with the kid for the rest of

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Speaker 1: your life. Which is why when you have this chance

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Speaker 1: just to judge the person on on the kissing style,

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Speaker 1: that's why women tend to read more into it well.

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Speaker 1: And and then also brings up oxytocin, the hormone that

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Speaker 1: I am that didn't talk about earlier that goes along

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Speaker 1: with cortisol. Researchers think that that oxytocin, which is a

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Speaker 1: bonding hormone that is often released in male and female

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Speaker 1: organ awesomes, goes up when you when you kiss someone,

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Speaker 1: but not as much as uh cortisol goes down. Basically,

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Speaker 1: it's more of a stress reliever than a really intense

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Speaker 1: bonding thing. Because you know it, really you can kiss

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Speaker 1: someone and walk away and not be a big deal. Right, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: we don't need researchers to tell us that kissing really

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Speaker 1: of stress. Yes, unless again less that's true. But one

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Speaker 1: thing I liked, this little fun fact about kissing. One

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Speaker 1: thing that does make it easier for us to kiss,

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Speaker 1: uh and not um say, bump heads. Not make it

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Speaker 1: so awkward, you know, like you've seem like comedic scenes

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Speaker 1: where couples are like going in and don't know how

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Speaker 1: to approach to those fools. But two thirds of adults

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Speaker 1: tend to tilt their head just automatically tilt their head

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Speaker 1: to the right when they go in for a kiss.

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Speaker 1: So it's kind of complimentary. You're coming at each other

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Speaker 1: from the same to action her chance of meeting. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and this was research done by this German guy who

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Speaker 1: basically German. Yeah, Germans love kissing. What is it? Because

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Speaker 1: we talked about French kissing all the time, like it's

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Speaker 1: the you know, the knees. But maybe we should maybe

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Speaker 1: we should do us some German kissing instead. All right,

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Speaker 1: tell us more about what this resarctor found real quick,

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Speaker 1: and then I want to talk about French kissing right well,

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Speaker 1: in order to he was he wasn't so much interested

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Speaker 1: in kissing but in the head motor bias. Basically, how

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Speaker 1: we um, you know someone's right handed, They're often right

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Speaker 1: footed and will use rely on their right eye more often.

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Speaker 1: So you wanted to know if maybe the head tilt

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Speaker 1: of kissing followed in suit because the majority of people

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Speaker 1: are right handed. And for two and a half years

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Speaker 1: he hit out in the airports and watch people kiss,

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Speaker 1: and it took him that long to get a large

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Speaker 1: enough sample size to where he could conclude that, yes,

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Speaker 1: two thirds of us tilt to the right. Now I'm

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Speaker 1: a South Paul, though, Molly, you know, I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I haven't really taken a you know, my own sample. Um,

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Speaker 1: but as I sit here and I tilt my head

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Speaker 1: to the left, it feels a lot more natural than

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Speaker 1: tilting to the right. So yeah, I was probably gonna

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Speaker 1: make my next kissing encounter all the more awkward. I

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Speaker 1: was telling Kristen, I think this might be the first

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Speaker 1: subject where I'm really worried about overthinking something after I've

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Speaker 1: done all this research on it, because you know, as

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Speaker 1: soon as that head tilt starts gonna be like oh

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Speaker 1: I've fit into that that demographic. Yeah, you're gonna just

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Speaker 1: like switch to the left, just a break, break the mold,

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Speaker 1: Molly A right. And as you might imagine, that researcher

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Speaker 1: did admit that it was probably the creepiest research he

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Speaker 1: ever done, and that people would see him and just

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Speaker 1: kind of give him a look, and that that's some

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Speaker 1: dedication to your work to put up with all of that.

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Speaker 1: All right, I said, I want to talk about French kissing,

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Speaker 1: So let's talk about how this got its name. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: French kissing basically started because rumor broke out in your

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Speaker 1: of that probably probably started by the Germans. Probably started

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Speaker 1: by the Germans that if you wanted a good old snog,

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Speaker 1: you needed you need to find a French gill because

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Speaker 1: they were very um open with their kissing. They were

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Speaker 1: you know, they just you know, they kiss everyone. That

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Speaker 1: was sort of the thing is you could just walk

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Speaker 1: down the street and you see a French girl and

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Speaker 1: be like, WHOA, let's kiss. And so it wasn't that

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Speaker 1: they were necessarily known for this open mouth style. You know,

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Speaker 1: it's not like the French invent at the tongue. They

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Speaker 1: just got from the French. The tongue, new finding. They

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Speaker 1: just they're very forthcoming with their kisses. And so that's

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Speaker 1: how French kissing got this. Uh this you know, high status,

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Speaker 1: I guess. But you know what's funny as in India

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Speaker 1: they call it English kissing, right, which is interesting because

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Speaker 1: that first image of kissing from comes from India. So

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Speaker 1: what we be doing me kissing? Yeah, what's going on?

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Speaker 1: But our word, our English word kiss comes from you

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Speaker 1: guessed it the German word cuissan and I'm sure I'm mispronouncing.

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Speaker 1: It's k u s s j A n. Probably because

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Speaker 1: of the sound that it makes, and her she's kissed

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Speaker 1: got its name because of the sound it makes as

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Speaker 1: it comes out though, like chocolate squarter. Yeah, okay, right,

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Speaker 1: this was I think my favorite fun fact that came

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Speaker 1: out of researching this question, and that the average person

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Speaker 1: spends three six hours kissing of their lots. Three six hours.

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Speaker 1: It's a lot of kissing. You have some meeds and schapstick,

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Speaker 1: but your stress will be so low, Your stress will

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Speaker 1: be so low, and you're gonna feel great afterwards because

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Speaker 1: in addition to your stress of her most decreasing dopamine

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Speaker 1: and serotonin. Of course, shoot right on up in the brain,

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Speaker 1: giving you a little little brain reward. I mean, thanks

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Speaker 1: for all that, thanks for not making out. Let's talk

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Speaker 1: about um one iconic kiss, because I thought this was

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Speaker 1: really interesting. We found this New York Times article about how,

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Speaker 1: uh that famous kiss taken in Time Square of a

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Speaker 1: nurse and a sailor when the war ended, this you know,

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Speaker 1: just grabbed woman in a fit of happiness and joy

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Speaker 1: that the war was over, planted a big one honor.

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Speaker 1: And um, there's all this article about how so many

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Speaker 1: people have come forward saying that they were the person

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Speaker 1: in that photograph because you know, it's just so iconic

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Speaker 1: that you know, why wouldn't you want to be associated

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Speaker 1: with such a romantic moment? And uh, you know they've

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Speaker 1: got the guy pretty well established that this guy, and

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Speaker 1: the photographer thinks that he's found the woman that he

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Speaker 1: captured because when he took the picture, he didn't write

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Speaker 1: down their names. You know, he didn't know what he had.

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Speaker 1: And uh, the guy who's thought to be like the

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Speaker 1: guy in the picture doesn't believe that the girl is

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Speaker 1: the one he kissed. Yeah. The photograph, which I will

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Speaker 1: say is Time Life's most requested and reproduced image, was

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Speaker 1: taken by Alfred Eisenstatt, and he thinks that the photograph

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Speaker 1: is of Glenn McDuffie, who is about eighty years old

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Speaker 1: and lives in Houston. And but at least eleven other men,

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Speaker 1: according to The The New York Times, have stepped up to

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Speaker 1: claim that they're actually the dude in the picture. And

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Speaker 1: while several women have also said that they're the lucky

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Speaker 1: lady and smooched um, one of them, Edith Shane, seems

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Speaker 1: to have the strongest claim because the she contacted Eisenstead,

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Speaker 1: who flew out to California, photographed her and declared that

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Speaker 1: he believed that she was the one who got the kiss. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but that guy does I think that's who he kissed.

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Speaker 1: I know the woman she kissed, and she ain't it.

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Speaker 1: That's a quote, that's all right, Glenn McDuffie. But apparently,

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Speaker 1: you know, the whole way Eisensat got the pictures, he

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Speaker 1: was following some some sailor just down the street, and

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Speaker 1: the sailor was just kissing everyone, and he just happened

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Speaker 1: to get this one picture. So I don't know if

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Speaker 1: I trust this guy to know everyone he kissed that day.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. You know, maybe maybe Glenn McDuffie has

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Speaker 1: a like a photographic memory for kissing everyone lips knows everyone.

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Speaker 1: He spread his testosterone too. Not only before we wrap

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Speaker 1: up this epic kissing episode, we need to bust one myth.

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Speaker 1: We got one kissing myth to bus alright, to a

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Speaker 1: myth to kiss off, feel stop stop the Eskimo kiss. Okay, Well,

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Speaker 1: there was this this theory the Eskimos can't kiss on

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Speaker 1: the lips because their mouths would freeze together. Tends to

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Speaker 1: be cold where Eskimos live. Hence we an eskimo kisses

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Speaker 1: when you rub noses right right, And this myth was

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Speaker 1: very firmly established by nineteen twenty movie Nanoke of the North,

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Speaker 1: and you know he, you know, the filmmaker basically assumed

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Speaker 1: that this is what they were doing to express emotion,

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Speaker 1: to kiss. But it just turned out that the mother

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Speaker 1: that um Robert Jay Flatterty, the a filmmaker filmed. He

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Speaker 1: filmed a woman just nuzzling her baby, and the woman

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Speaker 1: was giving her baby a canoope, which is an expression

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Speaker 1: of affection inanimate culture. And basically you just just pressed

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Speaker 1: the sides of your nose against the cheeks of your

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Speaker 1: baby and breathe and their scent, and who would want

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Speaker 1: to do that because baby smells so good. Yeah, but

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Speaker 1: it's never a romantic gesture. So kisses not fromantic, right,

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Speaker 1: but in Polynesian culture, so we do know that that

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Speaker 1: they do tend to to bonk noses. And you know,

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Speaker 1: part of the reason why no one knows exactly why

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Speaker 1: we kiss is that some cultures don't want to reb lips,

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Speaker 1: They just want to like touch some face, right, And

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Speaker 1: a lot of Asian and African cultures kissing on the

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Speaker 1: lips like we do, especially making out French style of

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Speaker 1: German style. Maybe we should start saying is totally foreign

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Speaker 1: and kind of gross. Yeah. There was actually uh talk

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Speaker 1: that was given at the Kansie Institute about this couple

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Speaker 1: that had marital difficulties basically cause they were from two

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Speaker 1: different cultures and couldn't reconcile their kissing style enough to

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Speaker 1: get it together in the bedroom. Um so um. It's

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Speaker 1: kind of a sad note to end on for a

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Speaker 1: Valentine's Day episode Kisses, but on a happy note for

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Speaker 1: those of us who do like kissing, it delivers quite

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Speaker 1: a reward of stress decreasing dopamine and siratoin and increasing,

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Speaker 1: and it also causes our pupils to dilate, which is

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Speaker 1: why we tend to close our eyes while we do it.

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Speaker 1: So let's our look at kissing and um. We hope

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Speaker 1: everyone out there has a happy Valentine's Day and a

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Speaker 1: happy Jerry's birthday. Yes, and most more importantly a happy

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Speaker 1: Jerry's birthday. On that note, if you want to send

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Speaker 1: us a Valentine or emails moms of it how stuff

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Speaker 1: works dot Com. Let's read a couple of emails from there.

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Speaker 1: So I have an email here from Bristita. It's about

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Speaker 1: the eyebrow episode, and Mercita shapes eyebrows for a living.

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Speaker 1: She is licensed by the state to do so. And

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Speaker 1: she writes, please please, please make sure when you get

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Speaker 1: your eyebrows waxed or anything waxed, but the person waxing

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Speaker 1: you is state licensed by law, their license should be visible.

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Speaker 1: If not, then I can't guarantee they went through the

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Speaker 1: proper training, which means it's scary and unsafe. Um. Not

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Speaker 1: to scaryone, but what if the person before I got

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Speaker 1: a bikini wax and had herpies and then someone goes

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Speaker 1: in and gets their eyebrows wax With the same wax,

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Speaker 1: that person can get hertpies. Oh my god, that person

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Speaker 1: can get herpies in the eye and can possibly blind

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Speaker 1: the person. So just be safe. Yes, I always look

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Speaker 1: for a valid license before putting wax anywhere. It's good

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Speaker 1: to know where to live by. Well, I've got one

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Speaker 1: here from Brooke And this is in response to our

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Speaker 1: episode on objective sexuality, and she writes the aspect of

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Speaker 1: people marrying objects drudged up bad associations for me of

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Speaker 1: one of the arguments against gay marriage. If we let

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Speaker 1: them do it, next thing, you know, people will want

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Speaker 1: to marry their dogs, which I do think is wrong

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Speaker 1: for many reasons, one of them being that one of

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Speaker 1: the parties in that comparison isn't even capable of consent.

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Speaker 1: But I've thought about my response more. If I put

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Speaker 1: away the negative feelings I get because of its similarity

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Speaker 1: to an argument made to deprive people of their rights

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Speaker 1: and separate merits, separate marriage from its legal meaning, I

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Speaker 1: can see it in a different light. I do think

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Speaker 1: that loving a dog would be different because dog isn't

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Speaker 1: capable of consent. I don't think objects are either, But

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Speaker 1: I also don't think they can be hurt, so that

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Speaker 1: becomes entirely irrelevant. I can't relate to feeling any sort

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Speaker 1: of love or affection for or from an object, but

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Speaker 1: I can relate to being made to feel wrong in

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Speaker 1: your own skin for something that's none of anyone else's concerned.

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Speaker 1: As long as no one's being hurt, then a person

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Speaker 1: should be allowed to find love wherever and however they can.

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Speaker 1: Thanks again for the thought provoking episode, and if you

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Speaker 1: have any thoughts to send our way again. Our email

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Speaker 1: is Mom's Stuff at how stuff works dot com. You

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Speaker 1: can also head over to Facebook and write stuff on

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Speaker 1: our wall. We'd love to see you there. In addition,

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Speaker 1: you can follow us on Twitter at mom Stuff Podcasts

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Speaker 1: and read our blogged during the week. It's stuff Mom

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Speaker 1: Never Told You at how stuff works dot com For

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Speaker 1: more on thiss and thousands of other topics. Is it

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Speaker 1: how stuff works dot com. To learn more about the podcast,

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Speaker 1: google the podcast icon in the upper right corner of

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