1 00:00:22,360 --> 00:00:25,600 Speaker 1: What's going on? Everyone? Emily A body here. You're listening 2 00:00:25,680 --> 00:00:29,200 Speaker 1: to five Minute Friday from Hurdle. I want to talk 3 00:00:29,320 --> 00:00:33,200 Speaker 1: this week about the fear of starting. It is genuinely 4 00:00:33,920 --> 00:00:41,720 Speaker 1: something that we all are constantly experiencing. Right new things, 5 00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:48,280 Speaker 1: new beginnings can feel both completely invigorating and also very 6 00:00:49,159 --> 00:00:51,760 Speaker 1: nerve wracking. They can bring up a lot of anxiety 7 00:00:51,800 --> 00:00:55,280 Speaker 1: because new beginnings also come hand in hand with a 8 00:00:55,320 --> 00:01:01,000 Speaker 1: lot of unknown Oftentimes, the fear of starting something new 9 00:01:01,040 --> 00:01:06,240 Speaker 1: because of that unknown, can be very paralyzing. And it 10 00:01:06,319 --> 00:01:10,000 Speaker 1: was in a coaching call that I was doing earlier 11 00:01:10,040 --> 00:01:14,520 Speaker 1: this week where my client said to me that this 12 00:01:14,760 --> 00:01:19,320 Speaker 1: fear has gotten to a place for her that feels 13 00:01:19,640 --> 00:01:25,080 Speaker 1: not only overwhelming, but truly debilitating. And I asked her 14 00:01:25,720 --> 00:01:29,119 Speaker 1: to tell me what that fear is doing for her, 15 00:01:29,160 --> 00:01:33,080 Speaker 1: and she listed through a bunch of negative things and 16 00:01:33,120 --> 00:01:35,760 Speaker 1: I said, it sounds like this fear isn't serving you. 17 00:01:35,920 --> 00:01:38,680 Speaker 1: Is that what you would say? And she agreed, And 18 00:01:38,720 --> 00:01:40,800 Speaker 1: I said, what if I told you there was a 19 00:01:40,840 --> 00:01:45,280 Speaker 1: way to not feel this way anymore? And she was ecstatic. 20 00:01:45,360 --> 00:01:47,320 Speaker 1: She was like, that's all I want. I don't want 21 00:01:47,319 --> 00:01:50,680 Speaker 1: to let this feel paralyze me. And I asked her, 22 00:01:51,200 --> 00:01:55,480 Speaker 1: how could it feel for you to begin? And it 23 00:01:55,560 --> 00:01:59,000 Speaker 1: was the first time that she thought about the fact that, yes, 24 00:01:59,080 --> 00:02:02,440 Speaker 1: a beginning can be intimidating, and yes there will still 25 00:02:02,480 --> 00:02:07,000 Speaker 1: be unknown, but garnering the courage to begin allows her 26 00:02:07,040 --> 00:02:10,959 Speaker 1: to escape from the frustrations that come with the fear 27 00:02:11,040 --> 00:02:15,720 Speaker 1: of the unknown. Understandably, so, it is so tiring to 28 00:02:15,840 --> 00:02:21,040 Speaker 1: feel paralyzed within your decision making. But when you get 29 00:02:21,040 --> 00:02:23,880 Speaker 1: to a point where you can use what's within you, 30 00:02:24,040 --> 00:02:28,680 Speaker 1: that courage, that's within you, that ability, knowing that previously 31 00:02:28,840 --> 00:02:33,480 Speaker 1: you have started and you have successfully been a beginner 32 00:02:34,240 --> 00:02:37,600 Speaker 1: and gotten over that hurdle and moved into the next 33 00:02:37,639 --> 00:02:40,960 Speaker 1: step and the next step, that you have the opportunity 34 00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:44,200 Speaker 1: to do it again. And so that's what I call 35 00:02:44,440 --> 00:02:48,000 Speaker 1: the power of the reframe here, that's the reframe playing 36 00:02:48,080 --> 00:02:52,920 Speaker 1: out when you don't do something because you are scared, 37 00:02:53,400 --> 00:02:57,359 Speaker 1: but you realize that doing that thing can actually provide 38 00:02:57,360 --> 00:02:59,880 Speaker 1: you a lot of freedom, can actually help you f 39 00:03:00,040 --> 00:03:05,400 Speaker 1: feel better, because that's ultimately it's the goal, right you 40 00:03:05,520 --> 00:03:08,480 Speaker 1: want to feel good in your life. Life's too short, 41 00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:10,840 Speaker 1: life's too short to let fear be the thing that 42 00:03:10,919 --> 00:03:13,040 Speaker 1: is standing in your way from going after the things 43 00:03:13,080 --> 00:03:16,680 Speaker 1: that excite you, the things that you really truly desire, 44 00:03:17,080 --> 00:03:20,720 Speaker 1: and so to get over that fear, we then use 45 00:03:20,800 --> 00:03:23,120 Speaker 1: a couple of tools, not only to be set realistic 46 00:03:23,160 --> 00:03:27,880 Speaker 1: goals and I've talked about smart goals on the show before, specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, 47 00:03:27,880 --> 00:03:30,880 Speaker 1: and time bound. But then we made an action plan 48 00:03:31,320 --> 00:03:34,160 Speaker 1: for each of her smart goals and we wrote down 49 00:03:34,240 --> 00:03:36,760 Speaker 1: two of them, and she said at the end of 50 00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:39,800 Speaker 1: our time together that she felt more ready than she 51 00:03:39,960 --> 00:03:43,360 Speaker 1: has in a long time, just to begin. And I 52 00:03:43,360 --> 00:03:45,760 Speaker 1: thought that was really special. You only get to be 53 00:03:45,800 --> 00:03:49,040 Speaker 1: a beginner once and again. It is so understandable that 54 00:03:49,080 --> 00:03:52,480 Speaker 1: there are nerves, there's anxiety, there are so many feelings 55 00:03:52,520 --> 00:03:55,960 Speaker 1: that come up with the unknown. But what if you 56 00:03:56,720 --> 00:04:00,000 Speaker 1: were to really look around at what's happening around you 57 00:04:00,560 --> 00:04:03,960 Speaker 1: and think to yourself, what an awesome opportunity this is, 58 00:04:04,520 --> 00:04:06,760 Speaker 1: What a cool chance it is to learn, What a 59 00:04:06,800 --> 00:04:10,000 Speaker 1: cool chance it is to learn not only about other 60 00:04:10,120 --> 00:04:13,720 Speaker 1: things the external, but also the internal and how you 61 00:04:13,800 --> 00:04:18,520 Speaker 1: react to new stimulus, new challenge, food for thought. My 62 00:04:18,640 --> 00:04:21,800 Speaker 1: prompt for you this week, what is one thing that 63 00:04:21,920 --> 00:04:26,240 Speaker 1: you have been hesitant to begin on and what is 64 00:04:26,360 --> 00:04:29,800 Speaker 1: one step that you can take this week to make 65 00:04:29,839 --> 00:04:32,479 Speaker 1: that actually happen. What is one thing that you have 66 00:04:32,520 --> 00:04:35,360 Speaker 1: been hesitant to begin on and what is one step 67 00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:38,200 Speaker 1: that you can take this week to make it actually happen? 68 00:04:38,880 --> 00:04:40,760 Speaker 1: And now a listener question. 69 00:04:41,839 --> 00:04:44,520 Speaker 2: Hi, Emily, this is Lon. I just wanted to say 70 00:04:44,600 --> 00:04:47,960 Speaker 2: I really love listening to your podcast. It helps make 71 00:04:47,960 --> 00:04:50,440 Speaker 2: the time go by really fast, especially when I'm driving 72 00:04:50,480 --> 00:04:54,000 Speaker 2: to work. The question I have for you is, if 73 00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:56,800 Speaker 2: you could live anywhere in the world, where would you 74 00:04:56,920 --> 00:04:59,680 Speaker 2: live and what would you be doing. Do you think 75 00:04:59,680 --> 00:05:01,880 Speaker 2: you'd be still doing what you are currently doing now 76 00:05:01,960 --> 00:05:04,520 Speaker 2: or do you think that you would shift into another career? 77 00:05:04,920 --> 00:05:08,000 Speaker 1: Thank you, oh man. This is a good question, and 78 00:05:08,040 --> 00:05:10,560 Speaker 1: candidly it's one I've thought a lot about because I 79 00:05:10,600 --> 00:05:15,000 Speaker 1: am now I've officially lived in New York for thirteen years, 80 00:05:15,160 --> 00:05:18,800 Speaker 1: which is mind blowing, especially considering how expensive it is 81 00:05:19,279 --> 00:05:23,120 Speaker 1: to live in this beautiful place. And as much as 82 00:05:23,360 --> 00:05:26,839 Speaker 1: I want to say I would love to easily live 83 00:05:27,240 --> 00:05:32,200 Speaker 1: in Florence or on the Italian countryside, I firmly believe 84 00:05:32,320 --> 00:05:35,080 Speaker 1: that I'm a city girl. I think that one of 85 00:05:35,080 --> 00:05:37,359 Speaker 1: the only places I could see myself living at this 86 00:05:37,480 --> 00:05:39,880 Speaker 1: point that's not New York City would be Washington, d C. 87 00:05:41,400 --> 00:05:43,680 Speaker 1: But I love living in New York and specifically I 88 00:05:43,720 --> 00:05:46,280 Speaker 1: love living in Brooklyn, and it makes me so happy 89 00:05:46,320 --> 00:05:49,600 Speaker 1: not only being here but coming back here. I have 90 00:05:49,880 --> 00:05:53,559 Speaker 1: the awesome opportunity to travel pretty regularly and without fail. 91 00:05:53,680 --> 00:05:56,919 Speaker 1: Every time I come back here. This feels like home 92 00:05:57,320 --> 00:05:59,760 Speaker 1: and it feels good. So I don't know, I'm a 93 00:06:00,320 --> 00:06:02,760 Speaker 1: girly through and through. That's not to say I won't 94 00:06:02,839 --> 00:06:05,719 Speaker 1: leave Brooklyn ever, but for the time being, if I 95 00:06:05,720 --> 00:06:09,440 Speaker 1: could pick anywhere to live, it would probably be an 96 00:06:09,520 --> 00:06:15,359 Speaker 1: upgraded Brownstone new fixtures. Somehow I miraculously get my packages 97 00:06:15,400 --> 00:06:17,599 Speaker 1: without having to worry about having to redirect them via 98 00:06:17,680 --> 00:06:22,200 Speaker 1: FedEx or BS. Yeah, a nice brown Stone in Brooklyn. 99 00:06:22,880 --> 00:06:24,640 Speaker 1: And as for what I'm doing, I mean, I love 100 00:06:24,680 --> 00:06:27,000 Speaker 1: what I'm doing, and candidly, I just want to do 101 00:06:27,080 --> 00:06:29,760 Speaker 1: more of it. I want to keep building on not 102 00:06:29,839 --> 00:06:32,120 Speaker 1: only the relationships that I have, but the skill set 103 00:06:32,160 --> 00:06:35,279 Speaker 1: that I have. And I want to keep impacting people 104 00:06:35,360 --> 00:06:37,839 Speaker 1: to the best of my ability to help them in 105 00:06:38,040 --> 00:06:41,920 Speaker 1: whatever feels right on their journey to live healthier and happier, 106 00:06:42,400 --> 00:06:47,200 Speaker 1: more motivated lives. And so yeah, it's kind of crazy 107 00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:50,680 Speaker 1: to realize that I'm really doing exactly what I want 108 00:06:50,720 --> 00:06:55,000 Speaker 1: to do and that feels really really good. Make sure 109 00:06:55,160 --> 00:06:57,320 Speaker 1: you're following along with hurdle over on social It's at 110 00:06:57,400 --> 00:07:01,600 Speaker 1: Hurdle Podcast. I am over at Emily Abadi another hurdle conquered. 111 00:07:02,120 --> 00:07:03,159 Speaker 1: Catch you guys next time.