WEBVTT - Cruising for Daddies 0:00:00.200 --> 0:00:03.800 Hey, viewers, Sniffy's Cruising Confessions is an explicit podcast about 0:00:03.840 --> 0:00:08.119 queer sex. Filter dirty words and unfiltered descriptions of sexual activities. 0:00:08.400 --> 0:00:12.360 If hearing about orgies, anonymous sex, kink, fetish, and more 0:00:12.480 --> 0:00:15.960 offends your sensibilities, you might want to skip this Viewer 0:00:16.000 --> 0:00:18.880 discretion is advised. It's definitely not for kids. 0:00:20.320 --> 0:00:23.360 Put Jo, pussy up, put your put Jo, pussy up, 0:00:24.000 --> 0:00:27.720 put Jo, pussy up, put put Jo busy. Welcome to 0:00:27.720 --> 0:00:30.640 Sniffy's Cruising Confessions. I'm gabeln Saalez. 0:00:30.240 --> 0:00:32.760 And I'm Christottas and Rosso. Each week we explore the 0:00:32.800 --> 0:00:35.560 sublime world of queer sex, cruising, and relationships. 0:00:35.640 --> 0:00:37.200 We talked to queer folks of all kinds. 0:00:37.280 --> 0:00:40.920 We'll ask some questions, swap sex stories, share intimate revelations, 0:00:41.040 --> 0:00:43.640 and provide practical advice that you can use at home. 0:00:44.680 --> 0:00:48.480 Jo put joust job pot put job. 0:00:50.680 --> 0:00:53.040 Today we're talking about a word that's been around for centuries, 0:00:53.320 --> 0:00:55.680 is used by toddlers, twinks, and even sex workers. 0:00:55.880 --> 0:00:58.240 It can be the source of issues or some extra 0:00:58.360 --> 0:00:59.560 zeros in your bank account. 0:01:00.000 --> 0:01:00.280 That's right. 0:01:00.440 --> 0:01:03.000 Today we're talking about Daddy's Gabe. 0:01:03.880 --> 0:01:05.200 Do you remember the first time you hooked up with 0:01:05.200 --> 0:01:05.600 the Daddy. 0:01:06.040 --> 0:01:07.880 The first time I did hook up with the Daddy, 0:01:08.000 --> 0:01:11.280 it was via craigslist, okay, And I was back home 0:01:11.400 --> 0:01:14.360 from summer break and I decided to hook up with 0:01:14.400 --> 0:01:15.800 this guy and went over to his house. And you 0:01:15.880 --> 0:01:18.520 know how usually when you meet an older queer man, 0:01:18.600 --> 0:01:20.040 they want to teach you about history. 0:01:20.080 --> 0:01:22.640 They're like, yes, there's always at. 0:01:21.959 --> 0:01:24.319 Peter's in Fire Island in the seventies, right, Like that's 0:01:25.160 --> 0:01:28.040 so fully expecting that, fully expecting that, ready for that 0:01:28.200 --> 0:01:30.800 love that get to his house. This man is like 0:01:31.120 --> 0:01:34.399 the official historian for the Kennedy family, Like has portraits 0:01:34.560 --> 0:01:38.080 of dead members of the Kennedy family all over his home. 0:01:38.640 --> 0:01:40.760 On the way to his bedroom, walked me down a 0:01:40.880 --> 0:01:43.840 hallway with photos of the Kennedy stopped at each one, 0:01:44.120 --> 0:01:46.360 and I was like, this is Robert Kennedy, this is 0:01:46.720 --> 0:01:47.560 this is John F. 0:01:47.680 --> 0:01:49.960 Kennedy. And I was like, cool, are they joining us? 0:01:50.600 --> 0:01:55.400 Was happening here? It was really unsettling. A huge horse 0:01:55.440 --> 0:01:57.400 cock stuck on it a little bit. Didn't really know 0:01:57.480 --> 0:01:59.240 what I was getting into. I was like eighteen, and 0:01:59.320 --> 0:02:00.720 I was like, thank you so much for the tour 0:02:00.760 --> 0:02:03.880 of the Kennedy Museum. I can't fit your dick in 0:02:03.960 --> 0:02:06.200 my mouth, and I'm not really looking to get fuck tonight. 0:02:06.280 --> 0:02:10.200 So maybe let's grab some water and chat. Chris, how 0:02:10.240 --> 0:02:12.960 about you? What's your what's your daddy story? 0:02:13.440 --> 0:02:14.280 I cannot top that. 0:02:20.280 --> 0:02:22.639 I have always had an affinity for older men and 0:02:22.760 --> 0:02:24.680 that has not stopped as I've gotten older. 0:02:25.240 --> 0:02:27.919 Yeah, I love a daddy. They're sure of themselves, they're 0:02:28.000 --> 0:02:30.720 aware and like that to me is like so sexy. 0:02:31.080 --> 0:02:33.120 I hook up with a lot of daddies. You're the 0:02:33.200 --> 0:02:33.880 daddy whisperer. 0:02:34.040 --> 0:02:37.120 One could say, you know, we should be interviewing you 0:02:37.680 --> 0:02:39.880 for this episode, our guests. 0:02:40.120 --> 0:02:44.160 Yeah, all right, Well, today's episode is all about daddies. 0:02:44.480 --> 0:02:46.440 Back in the day, older men were often called trolls 0:02:46.480 --> 0:02:49.040 by younger gay men. Things have shifted in recent years, right, 0:02:49.120 --> 0:02:51.720 Daddies are having a moment. So in today's episode, we're 0:02:51.720 --> 0:02:53.239 going to dive into the rise of the daddy and 0:02:53.360 --> 0:02:56.040 hopefully teach you how to cruise for them in the wild. 0:02:56.320 --> 0:02:58.840 We've en listened the help of renowned daddy Judson Morrow, 0:02:59.040 --> 0:03:01.840 who co hosts one of our favorite podcast, Dads and 0:03:02.000 --> 0:03:05.280 Daddy's with Brian Rubin Sauers. Together, Brian a literal dad 0:03:05.320 --> 0:03:07.120 of two and just and chat about their life as 0:03:07.120 --> 0:03:12.720 hot father figures, sharing personal stories from parenthood, daddy hood, love, marriage, addiction, recovery, 0:03:12.800 --> 0:03:13.520 and so much more. 0:03:14.560 --> 0:03:17.639 Please welcome to Stuffy's Cruising Confessions. Judson Morrow, How you doing? 0:03:17.840 --> 0:03:20.239 Hey, guys, what a pleasure to be on this side 0:03:20.280 --> 0:03:23.000 of the mic than you ever having are so, Judson, 0:03:23.080 --> 0:03:24.200 I'm very excited to have you here. 0:03:24.280 --> 0:03:27.120 Before we dive deep into daddydom, I was hoping you 0:03:27.200 --> 0:03:28.639 could tell me a little bit about the Dads and 0:03:28.720 --> 0:03:29.520 Daddy's podcast. 0:03:29.720 --> 0:03:33.160 The Dad's and Daddy's Podcast is the product of a 0:03:33.240 --> 0:03:37.240 neighborhood friendship. I met Brian Rubin Sauers at a Hanaka 0:03:37.320 --> 0:03:40.520 party a couple of years ago, and we kept running 0:03:40.560 --> 0:03:44.200 into each other, and one evening this man shows up 0:03:44.440 --> 0:03:48.640 with a seventeen slide power point about why I should 0:03:48.680 --> 0:03:52.360 be his podcast co host. Brian is a literal dad. 0:03:52.480 --> 0:03:56.120 He has two children. He is in an open gay marriage. 0:03:56.560 --> 0:03:58.800 I am also in an open gay marriage, although I 0:03:58.920 --> 0:03:59.840 don't have children. 0:04:00.320 --> 0:04:01.440 So he's the dad. 0:04:01.680 --> 0:04:04.680 I'm the sexual and spiritual daddy, and we talk about 0:04:05.040 --> 0:04:08.200 everything that it means to be an adult gay man 0:04:08.360 --> 0:04:13.040 in the modern world. Cruising Breakups, hookups, sex party etiquette, 0:04:13.080 --> 0:04:16.000 and then we have tons of guests coming on healers, 0:04:16.320 --> 0:04:21.440 sex workers, authors, scientists. So I have to ask, how 0:04:21.480 --> 0:04:24.280 would you define a daddy. I'm going to make it oppositional. 0:04:24.400 --> 0:04:27.840 What a daddy is not. A dom top with a 0:04:28.080 --> 0:04:30.720 salt and pepper beard with a one point seven to 0:04:30.880 --> 0:04:34.480 one shoulder to waist ratio does not a daddy make 0:04:35.120 --> 0:04:39.360 There is overlap, absolutely, but the piece that's missing is 0:04:39.400 --> 0:04:44.200 that daddy is the service role that makes it age agnostic, 0:04:44.520 --> 0:04:50.320 position agnostic, fem mask agnostic, esthetic agnostic, and it's really 0:04:50.520 --> 0:04:54.920 just the person who provides coaching, guidance, mentorship and a 0:04:55.160 --> 0:05:00.040 space to learn. Not everyone knows what they want, and 0:05:00.120 --> 0:05:01.800 even when they find that out, they don't know how 0:05:01.839 --> 0:05:04.880 to ask for that, so that daddy creates that space 0:05:05.240 --> 0:05:06.000 for their sons. 0:05:06.880 --> 0:05:07.800 I love this definition. 0:05:08.040 --> 0:05:09.760 For so long I've been operating on like the Supreme 0:05:09.800 --> 0:05:11.680 Court porn definition of daddydom. 0:05:11.760 --> 0:05:13.560 I've been like, I know a daddy when I see it, right. 0:05:14.320 --> 0:05:17.279 But thinking of it again as age agnostic and gender 0:05:17.320 --> 0:05:20.000 agnostic is something that makes it so much more expansive 0:05:20.040 --> 0:05:21.440 and so much more fun. Right, think of it as 0:05:21.480 --> 0:05:24.480 a service role rather than a literal father figure, and 0:05:24.600 --> 0:05:26.440 I get right. For some people, that's sort of the 0:05:26.480 --> 0:05:28.840 turn on, this sort of classic father figure in that 0:05:28.960 --> 0:05:29.560 service role. 0:05:30.000 --> 0:05:33.240 I'm a daddy son switch yeah, in the same way 0:05:33.320 --> 0:05:36.039 that I think verse guys are great tops because they 0:05:36.120 --> 0:05:39.040 know what it feels like to bottom. I learned so 0:05:39.279 --> 0:05:42.320 much by being a good son to other daddies. And 0:05:42.400 --> 0:05:44.640 I have a daddy who is twenty three years old. 0:05:45.080 --> 0:05:47.480 He is twenty years younger than me, and he just 0:05:47.800 --> 0:05:52.279 has it. He is caring, he's compassionate, he creates space. 0:05:52.520 --> 0:05:53.480 It's incredible. 0:05:53.880 --> 0:05:57.720 When did this interest in becoming a daddy or sort 0:05:57.760 --> 0:05:59.680 of learning more about daddy's begin. 0:06:00.480 --> 0:06:02.560 I have always been into older men. 0:06:02.800 --> 0:06:05.360 When I was eighteen, I had a boyfriend who was 0:06:05.480 --> 0:06:08.760 thirty six years old, and yes, the sex was incredible, 0:06:09.120 --> 0:06:11.840 but also given how I grew up, he provided a 0:06:11.920 --> 0:06:14.200 lot of like love, comfort and space for me to 0:06:14.279 --> 0:06:17.600 grow that I wasn't getting in my home life right. 0:06:18.080 --> 0:06:20.680 So for me, it's this sort of passing of the 0:06:20.839 --> 0:06:23.560 torch that, to be quite honest, the reason that I 0:06:23.640 --> 0:06:25.800 think about it so much is that it was actually 0:06:25.960 --> 0:06:30.400 sort of thrust upon me as I aged. Once people 0:06:30.480 --> 0:06:34.320 started to call me daddy without provocation. I just kind 0:06:34.360 --> 0:06:36.280 of owned it, and that's when I moved into a 0:06:36.320 --> 0:06:38.600 space where I was like, wait a minute, I've been 0:06:38.720 --> 0:06:41.839 doing this the whole time. It's the ownership piece that's 0:06:41.880 --> 0:06:44.440 been missing. So I would say I really stepped into 0:06:44.480 --> 0:06:48.520 it probably in my late thirties, where I was also 0:06:48.960 --> 0:06:51.920 in that sort of sexual icon purgatory where you're like, 0:06:51.960 --> 0:06:52.640 am I an uncle? 0:06:52.720 --> 0:06:54.280 Am I an hodd? Or am I a daddy? I 0:06:54.320 --> 0:06:57.640 don't really know. So in the last like five years, it. 0:06:57.640 --> 0:07:00.520 Seems like the poles are like daddy and twi, and 0:07:00.640 --> 0:07:03.240 then what comes in between is like a mishmash or 0:07:03.320 --> 0:07:03.880 kind of salad. 0:07:04.000 --> 0:07:06.159 And I'm curious about the first time you were called daddy. 0:07:06.480 --> 0:07:10.040 The first daddy I ever got, I was on the 0:07:10.360 --> 0:07:16.880 L train and this Bushwick twink right across from me goes, okay, Daddy. 0:07:17.760 --> 0:07:20.480 That was the moment I was like, Okay, I've arrived. 0:07:21.040 --> 0:07:22.920 Did that lead to anything or was it just kind 0:07:22.920 --> 0:07:24.280 of an epiphany for you? Oh? 0:07:24.360 --> 0:07:26.119 We fought, yeah, yeah, yeah, yes. 0:07:26.640 --> 0:07:28.400 I don't know if someone called me daddy. I mean, 0:07:28.440 --> 0:07:30.960 they do call me daddy, and I'm always like, I 0:07:31.000 --> 0:07:34.520 don't know if I qualify, mainly because you talked about coaching. 0:07:37.200 --> 0:07:39.800 It does require patients, Chris, and that is a thing 0:07:39.920 --> 0:07:40.800 I do not possess. 0:07:42.200 --> 0:07:43.800 And so when someone calls me daddy, it's oh no, no, 0:07:43.960 --> 0:07:45.880 please don't put that on me, because I don't want 0:07:45.920 --> 0:07:47.160 to take on that role. 0:07:47.480 --> 0:07:49.240 I think that's exactly it. That's a choice. 0:07:49.400 --> 0:07:53.400 The marker for daddyness is just claiming it. All you 0:07:53.520 --> 0:07:55.400 have to do is say I'm daddy. 0:07:55.640 --> 0:07:56.520 It doesn't have to be. 0:07:56.920 --> 0:08:00.040 Sexual in nature necessarily either, Like you could be the 0:08:00.520 --> 0:08:03.280 resume daddy, like I've had jobs. Let me help prove 0:08:03.320 --> 0:08:06.680 your Resumehtonic. 0:08:05.200 --> 0:08:08.440 Daddies in the traditional set not everyone's fucking their father 0:08:09.840 --> 0:08:11.360 if we're thinking about it in that way. 0:08:11.480 --> 0:08:13.920 I have definitely played daddy to a lot of younger 0:08:14.240 --> 0:08:17.080 artists and people who are like breaking into the industry. 0:08:17.120 --> 0:08:19.560 So you are daddy, yes, Boomer. 0:08:19.880 --> 0:08:21.520 But I was gonna say, now that you mentioned it, 0:08:21.600 --> 0:08:24.360 I think Chris might be my like backstage daddy. I 0:08:24.480 --> 0:08:26.800 am famous for putting things down and not remembering where 0:08:26.840 --> 0:08:29.480 they are, and Chris will just see me looking around 0:08:29.560 --> 0:08:30.760 and be like, babe, are you looking for this? 0:08:31.040 --> 0:08:33.720 And we'll pick up the exact thing I'm looking for. Yeah, 0:08:33.840 --> 0:08:36.920 So you you might be my dressing room daddy. Great, okay, great, yes, 0:08:37.160 --> 0:08:40.480 backstage daddy. I love daddies. See, you just have to 0:08:40.559 --> 0:08:41.840 own it, so Jenson. 0:08:41.960 --> 0:08:44.120 So we've been talking about it. Feels like daddies are 0:08:44.200 --> 0:08:46.920 are very much in the zeitgeist right now. Daddies are 0:08:47.000 --> 0:08:50.600 having a moment and identifying as a daddy can often 0:08:50.720 --> 0:08:53.160 make you more desirable to some younger gay men. But 0:08:53.280 --> 0:08:55.920 what was a common view of older men or daddies 0:08:56.040 --> 0:08:58.280 before now, right from the nineties and earlier. Do you 0:08:58.280 --> 0:08:59.880 think there's been kind of a culture shift between now 0:08:59.880 --> 0:09:02.200 and I think the shift has a lot to do. 0:09:02.400 --> 0:09:05.400 With the fact that in the eighties and nineties, older 0:09:05.559 --> 0:09:11.959 men were seen as the product unfortunately of HIV eight's. 0:09:12.120 --> 0:09:15.360 There was a much bigger question mark over their heads 0:09:15.880 --> 0:09:18.800 as to whether engaging with them was going to make 0:09:18.880 --> 0:09:22.079 you quote unquote and this is the terminology of the time, 0:09:22.480 --> 0:09:26.400 not today sick. Right with the advent of prep and 0:09:26.480 --> 0:09:30.320 the ability to have what I will call safe, condomless sex. 0:09:30.559 --> 0:09:33.320 But I think that stigma has largely gone away, which 0:09:33.440 --> 0:09:37.280 makes space for the sort of caretaking and compassion that 0:09:37.440 --> 0:09:40.880 younger men might seek from an older daddy. 0:09:41.160 --> 0:09:45.719 Also, I think that there is more daddies around today, right, Like, 0:09:45.800 --> 0:09:48.560 there's an entire generation of folks that just don't exist 0:09:48.640 --> 0:09:51.920 because of the AIDS pandemic. And I think now they're 0:09:52.040 --> 0:09:55.240 just more daddies around, which is lovely, right, And there 0:09:55.280 --> 0:09:55.640 will be. 0:09:55.760 --> 0:09:58.959 More daddies because there's just by numbers, there's more of 0:09:59.040 --> 0:10:02.120 us who have come out and are living comfortably. By numbers, 0:10:02.200 --> 0:10:04.880 there are more people who are living healthy, long lives. 0:10:05.360 --> 0:10:08.360 So the daddy generation, if we do want to age 0:10:08.400 --> 0:10:12.400 band it is going to be humongous. There is a 0:10:12.520 --> 0:10:15.640 lot of opportunity for sons out there if they're looking 0:10:15.679 --> 0:10:17.800 for an older man, Like we're here now. 0:10:17.880 --> 0:10:19.520 I see why jd Vance wants to get the birth 0:10:19.600 --> 0:10:21.559 rate up. We need more twinks to catch up to 0:10:21.559 --> 0:10:23.520 the number of daddies. It all makes sense. 0:10:23.720 --> 0:10:25.920 We're going to be fine. We're going to be fine. 0:10:26.120 --> 0:10:27.719 No, but that's a really good point, right, Like, the 0:10:27.760 --> 0:10:30.640 combined stigma of the hva's epidemic, along with the fact 0:10:30.679 --> 0:10:33.520 that you're getting generations of folks who are comfortable being 0:10:33.559 --> 0:10:35.440 out earlier, You're right, are kind of setting it up 0:10:35.520 --> 0:10:36.400 for peak daddy. 0:10:36.720 --> 0:10:38.200 We might be reaching the apex soon. 0:10:38.760 --> 0:10:42.000 There's a third part two and that is because younger 0:10:42.080 --> 0:10:45.880 people are coming out sooner and more comfortably. They actually 0:10:46.080 --> 0:10:50.680 have each other to experiment with sexually, so much a gift. 0:10:50.960 --> 0:10:51.720 So what a gift? 0:10:52.000 --> 0:10:54.400 Like when we were coming up in the eighties and nineties, like, 0:10:54.520 --> 0:10:57.880 we didn't have other teens to have a sexual awakening 0:10:57.960 --> 0:11:00.920 with the same way our heterosy actual at least at 0:11:00.960 --> 0:11:05.480 that time counterparts were able to write. It sometimes felt 0:11:05.520 --> 0:11:08.840 like the only option was an older man because that's 0:11:09.200 --> 0:11:11.480 who was out there. So I think a lot of 0:11:11.600 --> 0:11:14.880 people now will probably ultimately end up experimenting with their 0:11:14.920 --> 0:11:18.400 age group and then graduate, if you will, to daddy 0:11:18.480 --> 0:11:21.000 by choice as opposed to by force. 0:11:20.920 --> 0:11:21.720 Daddy by default. 0:11:21.800 --> 0:11:25.679 Yeah, we've heard about the first time you were called daddy, 0:11:26.000 --> 0:11:28.079 but I want to know when you met your husband Bruce. 0:11:28.120 --> 0:11:28.840 Shout out to Bruce. 0:11:28.920 --> 0:11:32.600 Hello, hy Bruce, who buy all accounts is a very 0:11:32.600 --> 0:11:33.520 sexy daddy as well. 0:11:33.600 --> 0:11:35.000 How did you all meet? What's that story? 0:11:35.160 --> 0:11:35.199 Like? 0:11:35.480 --> 0:11:37.599 I'm going to date the relationship by sharing that we 0:11:38.040 --> 0:11:41.160 met on manhunt dot net, the. 0:11:41.240 --> 0:11:44.960 Blue Screen Manhunt Dude's nude Adam for Adam. 0:11:45.080 --> 0:11:46.240 That was my college era. 0:11:46.360 --> 0:11:48.679 That's when I started meeting daddy's because I couldn't find 0:11:48.720 --> 0:11:49.520 anyone my age. 0:11:49.840 --> 0:11:50.800 Let's not get it twisted. 0:11:51.000 --> 0:11:53.439 I love Sniffy's, but there is a piece of my 0:11:53.600 --> 0:11:56.400 heart that breaks when I talk to someone who's twenty 0:11:56.480 --> 0:12:00.400 two and will never know the joys of buying extra credits. 0:12:00.440 --> 0:12:04.719 Oh my god, people to open an email and the 0:12:04.880 --> 0:12:07.600 content of the email is just okay. 0:12:09.800 --> 0:12:12.840 The indignity of having to pay to send a stranger 0:12:12.920 --> 0:12:14.360 your nudes like wild. 0:12:15.120 --> 0:12:19.120 So we met on manhunt dot net. I was sprung 0:12:19.280 --> 0:12:23.319 on this man from jump. He answered the door in 0:12:23.559 --> 0:12:29.240 crocs sweatpants when sweatpants were not cute. I'm talking like Haines, 0:12:29.600 --> 0:12:32.240 scrunchy at the bottom and a ripped T shirt. And 0:12:32.360 --> 0:12:34.679 I thought to myself, you thought I was going to 0:12:34.720 --> 0:12:35.120 be ugly. 0:12:37.600 --> 0:12:38.760 I showed him who. 0:12:40.520 --> 0:12:42.120 He was, Like, I thought it was just going to 0:12:42.160 --> 0:12:44.800 be a fling, Like I liked you, but you were 0:12:44.880 --> 0:12:49.000 like twenty seven and pretty messy. I was wildly alcoholic 0:12:49.080 --> 0:12:52.960 at the time, So did I see him as a daddy. 0:12:53.760 --> 0:12:57.120 There was definitely a part of his life that, at 0:12:57.200 --> 0:13:00.439 least as I perceived it, because he lived in Soho 0:13:00.559 --> 0:13:06.600 when I first met him, that just perceived stability. Well, yeah, 0:13:09.040 --> 0:13:13.839 I love that I'm like he was stable, Yeah, and 0:13:13.840 --> 0:13:15.800 at twenty seven, you're kind of looking for that. 0:13:15.880 --> 0:13:17.520 At least I was, right, I was looking for that 0:13:17.600 --> 0:13:20.240 stability because I was in an age GOP relationship when 0:13:20.320 --> 0:13:22.840 I was in my twenties and then got married at 0:13:22.840 --> 0:13:25.599 twenty six, and like there was like the stability that 0:13:25.960 --> 0:13:27.800 was like so attractive to me. I was like, yeah, 0:13:27.840 --> 0:13:30.520 I give me more of that because my life is 0:13:30.559 --> 0:13:32.000 a fucking mess right now. 0:13:33.000 --> 0:13:35.439 That's something I'm so curious about too, right because it 0:13:35.440 --> 0:13:37.040 seems like Bruce meets you and he's like, all right, 0:13:37.080 --> 0:13:38.880 you were kind of a mess. You were much younger, 0:13:39.000 --> 0:13:41.160 which to me implies messy. Do you often see those 0:13:41.200 --> 0:13:43.240 reservations work the other way around, where like a younger 0:13:43.280 --> 0:13:45.760 person is entering relationship and they're like, oh, you're older, 0:13:46.040 --> 0:13:47.560 you want to have kids, and like get a house. 0:13:47.760 --> 0:13:50.600 I'm in my twenties, I gotta sew my wild oats. 0:13:50.960 --> 0:13:51.160 Yes. 0:13:51.360 --> 0:13:55.000 Absolutely, I think for younger people there is a huge 0:13:55.120 --> 0:13:58.920 opportunity cost. It's like, ooh, you're twenty years older than me, 0:13:59.120 --> 0:14:02.360 Like you've had all the opportunity and like maybe know 0:14:02.559 --> 0:14:05.160 exactly what you want and I don't necessarily want to 0:14:05.240 --> 0:14:09.000 like pigeonhole my desires or the outcome of my life 0:14:09.400 --> 0:14:13.120 toward your idea of success. I think the flip side 0:14:13.240 --> 0:14:16.760 of seeing younger people as a little messy is that 0:14:17.120 --> 0:14:20.240 the older gentleman in this scenario can be a little 0:14:20.280 --> 0:14:24.520 more set in his ways, especially if he's been independent 0:14:24.760 --> 0:14:28.200 for a long time, and it gets a little harder 0:14:28.840 --> 0:14:32.240 as the older person to incorporate someone new, especially someone 0:14:32.400 --> 0:14:34.760 young who's still on the path of self discovery. 0:14:35.080 --> 0:14:35.120 No. 0:14:35.280 --> 0:14:38.840 Absolutely, I dated a younger person last year and I 0:14:39.040 --> 0:14:40.680 really was like struggling. 0:14:40.840 --> 0:14:42.200 I was like, this is wild. 0:14:42.440 --> 0:14:43.880 Is this what people have been doing with me for 0:14:43.960 --> 0:14:47.400 all these years? Like they just lived a completely different 0:14:47.400 --> 0:14:49.560 life than I did. I just was like, you are 0:14:49.680 --> 0:14:52.760 a wild individual, and I sn't know how you live 0:14:52.840 --> 0:14:53.360 your life. 0:14:53.520 --> 0:14:55.880 I think sometimes you can get into the daddy sun 0:14:55.960 --> 0:14:59.200 dynamic and your son is a little too stubborn. 0:15:00.040 --> 0:15:02.880 It's like, oh, this actually is not a match. 0:15:03.000 --> 0:15:05.720 And it's not because I'm trying to necessarily like dominate 0:15:05.920 --> 0:15:11.400 or control, but like the willingness to be instructed, cared for, 0:15:12.080 --> 0:15:15.480 mentored is critical to this back and forth. 0:15:15.880 --> 0:15:18.000 And if you're gonna do what you're just gonna do, 0:15:19.000 --> 0:15:21.320 let me know that and we can move into that. No, right, 0:15:22.040 --> 0:15:22.440 we can. 0:15:22.440 --> 0:15:25.360 Easily switch and move into that, but we're we're cutting 0:15:25.400 --> 0:15:27.240 off access to the daddy dum. 0:15:27.520 --> 0:15:28.800 So we have talked a little bit. 0:15:28.760 --> 0:15:30.960 About some of the challenges, but I would like to 0:15:31.000 --> 0:15:34.040 talk about the fun parts of having sex. What do 0:15:34.080 --> 0:15:36.080 you think is hot about sex with daddy and what 0:15:36.240 --> 0:15:39.120 is it that makes them appealing to you specifically as well? 0:15:39.360 --> 0:15:42.920 They just know what they're doing, and that feels so 0:15:43.880 --> 0:15:47.680 good because I may I may not even know that 0:15:47.840 --> 0:15:51.080 I'm into something until I am introduced to it by 0:15:51.200 --> 0:15:54.920 like a really, really proficient practitioner, and then you're. 0:15:54.880 --> 0:15:58.160 Just like, okay, like this is absolutely a thing now. 0:15:59.440 --> 0:16:03.640 So that is I think the broad appeal for me specifically, 0:16:04.000 --> 0:16:07.200 it's different now than it was before when I was 0:16:07.280 --> 0:16:10.600 hooking up with daddies. Previously it was more of the 0:16:10.720 --> 0:16:13.240 sun roll and to be cared for. And now when 0:16:13.280 --> 0:16:16.160 I hook up with daddi's it's really a learning opportunity 0:16:16.280 --> 0:16:20.240 for me. Like I love to hear daddy talk tracks, 0:16:20.360 --> 0:16:22.720 I love to see how they move their body, I 0:16:22.880 --> 0:16:26.680 love how they manage the dom sub relationship. It's so 0:16:26.880 --> 0:16:29.560 much for me to become a better daddy to hook 0:16:29.640 --> 0:16:31.120 up with other daddies. 0:16:31.480 --> 0:16:34.160 There's just so much for me to learn. What's something 0:16:34.200 --> 0:16:36.040 that you've learned from your partner? 0:16:36.320 --> 0:16:38.320 Yeah, specifically sexually? 0:16:39.160 --> 0:16:42.200 Oh, specifically sexually, something you Bruce introduced you to, or 0:16:42.240 --> 0:16:43.880 something that you were like early on in dating, you 0:16:43.960 --> 0:16:44.200 were like. 0:16:44.240 --> 0:16:48.960 Oh, when Bruce and I met, I because I was 0:16:49.080 --> 0:16:53.040 smaller of stature and younger at the time, saw myself 0:16:53.200 --> 0:16:55.640 as a bottom. I think this is part of the 0:16:55.760 --> 0:16:59.400 journey for a lot of gay men, right, Yeah. And 0:16:59.480 --> 0:17:02.280 then when I'm at him, he is also a bottom, 0:17:02.400 --> 0:17:04.480 I would say ninety seven percent of the time, and 0:17:04.600 --> 0:17:05.720 it's like, well, what are we going to do? 0:17:05.920 --> 0:17:10.640 Just like rub our butts together, It's like the other 0:17:10.800 --> 0:17:11.520 end of the scissors. 0:17:11.640 --> 0:17:16.280 Yeah, right, So I learned two things from him. I 0:17:16.400 --> 0:17:18.600 learned how to be a better top because I got 0:17:18.880 --> 0:17:22.399 so much practice with him. And I learned how to 0:17:22.480 --> 0:17:25.720 be a better bottom because he had so much more 0:17:25.840 --> 0:17:30.080 practice out of than me anything, right, like different positions, 0:17:30.280 --> 0:17:32.639 better ways to clean out. I've learned so much just 0:17:32.720 --> 0:17:35.440 about the basics. And I think that's a big reason 0:17:35.600 --> 0:17:39.399 that we're open too, because I still like to bottom, 0:17:39.640 --> 0:17:42.399 and again, we're not just going to rub our butts together. 0:17:42.520 --> 0:17:46.000 He wants me to experience the joy that he experiences 0:17:46.119 --> 0:17:49.280 as a bottom, and that requires other people outside of 0:17:49.320 --> 0:17:50.000 the relationship. 0:17:50.440 --> 0:17:54.879 Yeah, there really is no greater experience than bottoming. I 0:17:54.960 --> 0:17:55.720 can't think of one. 0:17:57.840 --> 0:17:59.640 I'm sorry, I thought that was going to keep going, 0:17:59.760 --> 0:18:02.320 and you're just like, no, no, no, that's so that's 0:18:02.359 --> 0:18:05.000 actually the best experience you can have in life is bottoming. 0:18:05.359 --> 0:18:05.560 Yeah. 0:18:05.960 --> 0:18:12.639 I mean mazo realistics out there, speaking of of assumptions 0:18:12.920 --> 0:18:15.000 and sort of archetypes that might be incorrect that we've 0:18:15.400 --> 0:18:17.600 had thrust upon us. I think with a lot of 0:18:17.680 --> 0:18:20.359 the age gap discourse that we see online, especially today, 0:18:20.720 --> 0:18:24.399 there's this assumption that anyone older is automatically predatory if 0:18:24.440 --> 0:18:27.040 they're hooking up with younger people, which is obviously very 0:18:27.080 --> 0:18:30.760 broad generalization. That can happen, it doesn't always happen. So 0:18:31.000 --> 0:18:34.080 what are some healthy ways you see people navigating age 0:18:34.119 --> 0:18:35.879 gaps and some of the differences. 0:18:35.400 --> 0:18:37.520 That might come up from that in relationships. 0:18:37.840 --> 0:18:40.840 I think you have to enter age gap relationships in 0:18:40.960 --> 0:18:43.679 good faith. Let's not get it twisted. When I had 0:18:43.720 --> 0:18:46.840 the Internet and access to a car, I absolutely lied 0:18:46.880 --> 0:18:50.840 about my age right As a safety I use what 0:18:50.960 --> 0:18:54.240 I call at math if they are twenty one or younger, 0:18:54.400 --> 0:18:57.560 I subtract five, and if they're fifty five or older, 0:18:57.720 --> 0:19:00.440 I add five. Right, So that's actually super we're helpful. 0:19:00.480 --> 0:19:05.080 Oh you're twenty one, you're sixteen? Oh god, wow, You're 0:19:05.160 --> 0:19:05.600 not going to. 0:19:05.960 --> 0:19:07.920 Always be able to like check the ID. 0:19:08.560 --> 0:19:08.720 Right. 0:19:09.160 --> 0:19:11.520 But I do think you have to know, especially if 0:19:11.560 --> 0:19:14.280 you are the older person, which I am in this situation, 0:19:14.920 --> 0:19:18.080 that you are the one in charge. If you don't 0:19:18.119 --> 0:19:20.840 want that thrust upon you, you're not ready to have 0:19:21.000 --> 0:19:25.720 this kind of relationship with anybody, right. I remember I 0:19:26.000 --> 0:19:29.760