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Speaker 1: Hello the Internet, and welcome to this episode of Cut

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Speaker 1: my site in two pieces. Trend is my last resort.

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Speaker 1: That was courtesy off toilet ghost hand a coast on. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: In the discord going off, going off, people kept it

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Speaker 1: going to Johnny Davison's the explication of tweeting. Then Doug

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Speaker 1: Hut said, don't give a fucking fund it's on the

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Speaker 1: cake I'm eating, you know, so doing it all, you know,

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Speaker 1: shout out to y'all. It took all my power in

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Speaker 1: tomorrow's episode not to bring up Fonda when we were

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Speaker 1: talking about breakfasts, design a desserts, because I mean, fond

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Speaker 1: it is probably the dessert that is closest aligned to

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Speaker 1: the texture of pasta. Um hmm, I'm just gonna put

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Speaker 1: that out there. That or the chewy parts of a

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Speaker 1: Jella mold that's been sitting around too. Yeah. If I'm

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Speaker 1: making like a dessert lasagna, like, yeah, the pasta sheets

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Speaker 1: are going to be funded, even though this cake is

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Speaker 1: a Carbohydra eight and technically is probably closer. But look,

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Speaker 1: we're gonna respects, respect the vibes. I'm Jack, that's Miles.

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Speaker 1: This is what's trending. There's all sorts of NBA news trending.

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Speaker 1: Lebron signed an eighty five million dollar extension, Is that right?

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Speaker 1: Two years maybe announced? Uh? Wow, it's so weird even

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Speaker 1: here numbers like that. I'm like, cool, billion dollars and

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Speaker 1: still probably the most underpaid athlete in the NBA. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I would say so. But yeah, people are securing, you know,

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Speaker 1: secure the bags whenever, and you know, he seems to

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Speaker 1: be doing good enough. People are talking about this like

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Speaker 1: it's the timing lines up for when Brownie is going

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Speaker 1: to be entering the NBA and so like the idea

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Speaker 1: that people are just assuming his son is going to

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Speaker 1: go straight from high school to the n B A

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Speaker 1: uh is pretty That's something I feel. I feel bad

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Speaker 1: for for him if he doesn't, if he isn't exactly

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Speaker 1: like his dad and like totally delivers on every expectation,

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Speaker 1: which is just I mean, who who has ever been

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Speaker 1: able to do that other than Lebron, No, like, who

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Speaker 1: has exceeded the shadow of the parent, like of the

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Speaker 1: legendary parent. I'm sure there in your circles there are that,

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Speaker 1: but like I don't know, like psychologically, that does something

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Speaker 1: to you, like you're kind of like, fuck, you're always

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Speaker 1: going to have this comparison in your head. There was

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Speaker 1: that Cooke brother nephew who was like the perfect white Coke.

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Speaker 1: He was like he wasn't necessarily surpassing, but he was

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Speaker 1: the crystallization of everything, of all of their values, just

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Speaker 1: in human form. Also Donald Trump Jr. What am I saying? Yeah? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: come on man, Uh, Jimmy Butler is also trending, I

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Speaker 1: thought because he resigned. Turns out because he is dating

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Speaker 1: Selena Gomez. Is there? Okay? Shout out to him. Uh.

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Speaker 1: They made a joke about her and saved by the

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Speaker 1: bill that she did not like in the reboot. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: Like I just was reading a headline that like she

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Speaker 1: had something to say about. There was like a line

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Speaker 1: about how her she received a kidney transplant from Justin

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Speaker 1: Bieber's mom and something though, because I think she did.

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Speaker 1: She she was having like renal issues and actually did

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Speaker 1: have health issues. But I don't know where that went.

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Speaker 1: And I was like, this is okay, very segeisty. Did

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Speaker 1: um did that show come out? How is it? Have

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Speaker 1: you watched? Um? I don't know. I haven't seen it.

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Speaker 1: I was too busy watching Felice Navy Dad with Lopez

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Speaker 1: on lifetime your decisions and they're difficult decisions. Oh yeah,

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Speaker 1: no doubt. Also trying to be like, does he have boatdox?

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Speaker 1: Does he not? Is it jeans what I think? He? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: I mean Robert Brockway Shout out to Brockway from the

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Speaker 1: Crack My Cracked Days. One of the funniest writers I've

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Speaker 1: ever worked with. Always just had this weird this he left.

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Speaker 1: We brought him on as a columnist and he just

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Speaker 1: started writing these random pieces about how Mario Lopez was

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Speaker 1: like this soulless automaton um and I've never been able

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Speaker 1: to look at him the same way again. But I

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Speaker 1: think that would explain. You know that that's one dude

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Speaker 1: who if the Adrina Chrome thing about Hollywood elites was true.

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Speaker 1: I'm not saying it's him, but I'm not anyone of anything.

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Speaker 1: But look at that dudes. Uh. He he hasn't aged

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Speaker 1: since he was a teenager. The man looks weird. He

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Speaker 1: haunts every domestic traveler in the United States who's ever

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Speaker 1: turned out TV on in a hotel. He's everywhere. And

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Speaker 1: LaVar Ball is also trending because his third son, who

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Speaker 1: the last of his three sons, li Angelo, who was

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Speaker 1: not on an NBA squad. Uh just got signed to

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Speaker 1: a like non guaranteed contract with the Detroit Pistons. So

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Speaker 1: he's just basically doing the told just so thing. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: he said all his kids are NBA quality, So alright, alright, LaVar,

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Speaker 1: let's see how it goes down. It's really weird. Steph

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Speaker 1: Curry's brother, Seth is like also really good. It's it's

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Speaker 1: like it started out as like they're going to sign

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Speaker 1: him because he's like his brother, and but man, he's

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Speaker 1: got he's got got a stroke. Don't worry. Yeah, don't

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Speaker 1: keep don't take your eye off those kids. Yeah. And

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Speaker 1: in the Underworld version of the NBA the Sticks River

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Speaker 1: of Hell. River of Hell wasn't then the in uh

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Speaker 1: to the Simpsons when they make the joke in his

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Speaker 1: Sticks like playing it's the Rivers. The NFL is what

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Speaker 1: I'm trying to n F hell uh r G three

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Speaker 1: is trending because as we record this, the Steelers are

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Speaker 1: playing the Ravens. Um. They were just like, we'll give

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Speaker 1: you guys a day to figure it out. Yeah, to

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Speaker 1: cobble a team of able bodied humans together to play

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Speaker 1: in an NFL game. Uh, we don't care if anyone

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Speaker 1: watches it. We just want you to hurt each other

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Speaker 1: because we have to complete the season at all costs.

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Speaker 1: Like the logic is so fucked up that it's all

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Speaker 1: just like we have to get these results on paper.

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Speaker 1: So I don't care if you have whiz Khalifa at

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Speaker 1: fucking strong safety, Like, did you get people out there? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: So r G three was a exciting quarterback for the

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Speaker 1: Washington Redskins a couple of years back, and then his

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Speaker 1: career kind of fell apart. He has come in four

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Speaker 1: or last year's NFL m v P Lamar Jackson, who

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Speaker 1: is out with covid um, and yeah, they were just like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: sure throw out, throw that dude there, Yeah, next man up.

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Speaker 1: It's like the NFL's treats as players like the Russian

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Speaker 1: military in early twentieth century. We got one rifle, we

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Speaker 1: wrote one rifle and three of you. So once the

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Speaker 1: first guy dies, you just grab and figure out who

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Speaker 1: gets it. To figure out who gets it, I want

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Speaker 1: to be fighting over rifles. But yeah, it's a Jesus.

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Speaker 1: It's it's such a dark situation like football, especially college

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Speaker 1: and the NFL, where they are so like have just

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Speaker 1: taken the mindset of American conservatism, like of like, now,

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Speaker 1: we're just gonna get right through this thing fuck at all.

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Speaker 1: I don't understand why they couldn't, you know, I guess

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Speaker 1: you know, I know why it costs too much money

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Speaker 1: to keep everyone safe. I don't know why I'm even

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Speaker 1: asking these things out loud anymore. Yeah, let's talk about

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Speaker 1: some of the some of the other places in the

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Speaker 1: country and institutions that have chosen to make up their

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Speaker 1: own rules where convenient when it comes to social distancing

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Speaker 1: and uh, the now spiking global pandemic that is now

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Speaker 1: spiking in in these United States. Beverly Hills, for one,

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Speaker 1: has announced, uh, we're not gonna close down outdoor dining

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Speaker 1: just because you told us to Mr Scientists, Doctor face guy,

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Speaker 1: We're doing we're doing things our own way. You you

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Speaker 1: give us a more more evidence than all the people

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Speaker 1: who are dying. Beverly Hills is on a terror. Man.

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Speaker 1: There's like another like a woman who owns like a

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Speaker 1: brow bar facial thing. She was caught in doing some

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Speaker 1: homophobic rant like in Echo Park the other day. Maga

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Speaker 1: in it up. So you know, I mean that shouldn't

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Speaker 1: surprise you, just like that you know, like that rage

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Speaker 1: song I'm rolling down Rodale with a shotgun. These people

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Speaker 1: have seen a brown skin man since their grandparents bought one.

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Speaker 1: That that vibe is alive and well there wow uh

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Speaker 1: uh yeah, Beverly Hills is would you say that's the

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Speaker 1: worst part of Los Angeles in Yeah, probably it's like

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Speaker 1: the vibe there shitty. I used to work off air

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Speaker 1: when I went to Playboy. That ship is right next

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Speaker 1: to ut like in the thick of it, and I

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Speaker 1: was either about to be killed in a crosswalk by

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Speaker 1: a Bentley every time I walked to lunch or you know,

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Speaker 1: it's just a bunch of old people who were like, like,

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Speaker 1: why are you eating in here? It's just whatever. Great

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Speaker 1: shopping though, I mean, god, oh the shopping miles. I mean,

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Speaker 1: they can't keep me out of the Gucci store. I've

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Speaker 1: bought so many belts on Rodeo. Yeah. I don't know either,

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Speaker 1: but I love it. Okay. White House is also going

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Speaker 1: down this path. They are having a dozens maybe yes,

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Speaker 1: a number of technically indoor events. Uh. They really don't

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Speaker 1: give a fuck, Like everything is you know, pedal to

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Speaker 1: the metal, fuck you on every front. So it's including

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Speaker 1: putting the people who are the staff at these events

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Speaker 1: fully at risk. So one of the events is going

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Speaker 1: to be a congressional ball on the tenth they'll have

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Speaker 1: more than fifty guests. Oh uh, and then it goes along.

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Speaker 1: You know, they still got more events on deck. And

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Speaker 1: Stephanie Grisham, who used to be the press secretary, she

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Speaker 1: was coming out defending all of this ship saying, uh,

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Speaker 1: you know it's gonna be very safe. Quote. This includes

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Speaker 1: smaller guest lists. Masks will be required and available. Okay,

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Speaker 1: it required that you just have them on you, not

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Speaker 1: to be worn. Um, Social distancing encouraged while on the

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Speaker 1: White House grounds and hand sanitizer stations throughout the State floor.

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Speaker 1: Guests will enjoy food individually plated by chefs at plexiglass

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Speaker 1: protective food stations. All past beverages will be covered. All

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Speaker 1: service staff a k a. Pores will have to wear

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Speaker 1: masks and gloves as to not dirty up things, along

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Speaker 1: with with safety guidelines. And then the last line is

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Speaker 1: attending the parties will be a very personal choice, so

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Speaker 1: saying yo, if you get it, that's on you ass whole. Yes, yes,

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Speaker 1: you will have to sign a way you are right

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Speaker 1: to being a human being uh, in order to attend

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Speaker 1: these parties, but worth it because you will be proving

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Speaker 1: to the president and your country that you are tough.

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Speaker 1: I mean, can you imagine too, like these events because

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Speaker 1: you know the clock is running out to get your

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Speaker 1: flicks to flick it up one time at the White

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Speaker 1: Supremacy House, so you feel like if you get an invite,

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Speaker 1: if you fuck it, if you got cold, you're going like,

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Speaker 1: how the funk are you gonna say no to dear leader? Uh?

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Speaker 1: And I can only imagine, like, I'll be very surprised

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Speaker 1: if people, you know, walk out of there with their

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Speaker 1: health intact. But I just really it's just more fuck.

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Speaker 1: It's just so upsetting that the people that are truly

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Speaker 1: at risk are the staff who have to be there

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Speaker 1: for their job, and they're like, look, we're trying to

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Speaker 1: feel normal, so like all these people are gonna be

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Speaker 1: like yelling in your face drunk um. And maybe I

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Speaker 1: don't know, it's like, yeah, maybe this is him falling

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Speaker 1: through on his promise to take out the swamp just

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Speaker 1: on his way out. He's doing it h old school

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Speaker 1: American settler style, just spreading disease. Um. Hugh keys Burn

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Speaker 1: is trending because he played in Morton Joe and passed

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Speaker 1: away recently. Shout out to him, great performance and great movie.

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Speaker 1: Bad Max fury Road. That movie unbelievable just in retrospect.

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Speaker 1: What a what a piece of cinema, And talk about movies.

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Speaker 1: You know, you think movies, but this is cinema. Miles.

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Speaker 1: Oh god, it's it's so sick. I have nine posters

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Speaker 1: in my room. Bro. Uh you know what time it is? Bro?

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Speaker 1: Margaret I got a Margaret Sixel tat Bro. She was

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Speaker 1: the editor. Man, fucking all that so revolutionary. Have someone

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Speaker 1: who doesn't normally do action films cut that film like

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Speaker 1: it just gave it such another quality it really felt. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: everything about that was magic. U. That editing was wild.

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Speaker 1: And to think that that edit Margaret Sixel had to

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Speaker 1: like fight the studio like how they were editing it. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: just like what the cut was looking like the studio

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Speaker 1: didn't believe in it anyways. Want to more important culture.

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Speaker 1: We have a Real Housewives news dump because a bunch

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Speaker 1: of Real housewives of Beverly Hills have tested positive for

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Speaker 1: COVID at the same time. Um, we don't we don't

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Speaker 1: know how they got it. So don't blame it on

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Speaker 1: you know, these new Beverly Hills policies, because also the

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Speaker 1: Real Housewives of Beverly Hills don't live in Beverly Hills.

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Speaker 1: They all live in the valley now, um they yeah,

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Speaker 1: I don't, I don't think and all this ship they

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Speaker 1: want to talk about my ancestral home, San Fernando Valley.

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Speaker 1: Yet do you take to our hills to protect yourselves?

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Speaker 1: Huh um, but it had to. Real Housewives of Beverly

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Speaker 1: Hills had to shut down production last week after a

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Speaker 1: crewmember tested positive for the virus. Turns out it wasn't

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Speaker 1: just the crew, it was also the cast, which ones

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Speaker 1: Kyle oh yeah, yeah, or Kyle Kyle Richards, Richards's she's

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Speaker 1: the one who's been day one. I mean, those people

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Speaker 1: have shown their ass so much, especially during these COVID episodes,

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Speaker 1: like the Orange County ones were fully like on their

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Speaker 1: Orange County ship where they're like, it's a fucking hoax, y'all,

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Speaker 1: and you're like, oh, Karma, come down swiftly for these people.

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Speaker 1: Take them away to theological experiment that has gone wrong.

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Speaker 1: If you want to view America as that as a

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Speaker 1: sociological experiment, that's gone wrong. Tune in to Real Housewives

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Speaker 1: of Orange County. One piece of news from Real Housewives

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Speaker 1: of Orange County is that bron Wyn Wyndham Burke, who

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Speaker 1: is one of the cast members they're just came out

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Speaker 1: on UM an interview. Yeah, in an interview on I

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Speaker 1: think it's Glad's YouTube channel or something or like right UM.

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Speaker 1: But also announced that she's going to stay married to

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Speaker 1: her husband even though she's not attracted to him. She

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Speaker 1: came out as a lesbian and uh shout out to

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Speaker 1: to them making it work? Yeah, I think it sounds

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Speaker 1: like the quotes that are people like, well if you are,

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Speaker 1: what is going on if you're not interested in him anymore?

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Speaker 1: And she has like a side relationship. She says that

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Speaker 1: we're in uncharted territory. Sean and I are still married.

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Speaker 1: I plan on staying married. We're not sleeping in the

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Speaker 1: same bedroom right now, but we're in the same house.

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Speaker 1: We're raising our kids together. He's my best friend. He

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Speaker 1: knows the girl I'm dating. Yeah, make it work. So

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Speaker 1: out to y'all. You know, so does he date somebody? Now?

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Speaker 1: I mean you'd hope, So for what are the rules?

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Speaker 1: I mean, I just assume the rules are he's allowed to,

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Speaker 1: but maybe maybe not. Could you imagine he's just like, no, no, no,

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Speaker 1: you sit in the corner. My girlfriend's coming over. You

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Speaker 1: play your part right, So yeah, that Real Housewives universe. Wow,

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Speaker 1: what a what a what a multi layered cake? You

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Speaker 1: said it, Miles. All right, that's all the news we

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Speaker 1: have to tell you about today. News in quote. We

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Speaker 1: are back tomorrow with a whole ass episode of the show.

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Speaker 1: Until then, guys, be kind to each other, be kind

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Speaker 1: to yourselves, wear a mask, washer hands, stay inside or

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Speaker 1: outside if you're around other people. Don't do nothing about

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Speaker 1: white supremacy. And we will talk to you all tomorrow.

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Speaker 1: Bye bye,