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Speaker 1: Hey, this is johnas is Sam, your og Okay Storytime

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Speaker 1: podcast hosts. We have some great stories coming up.

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Speaker 2: But before that, we have a quick two minute break

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Speaker 2: from the sponsors that keep the show alive.

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Speaker 1: So John, it's Dumphm week, which means we're taking out

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Speaker 1: the trash emotionally speaking.

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Speaker 2: Yes, Sam, we have stories this week that will make

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Speaker 2: you say farewell to those toxic relationships.

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Speaker 3: And hello to red fractfully living. We love it.

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Speaker 1: Also, if you're new here looking for the first story

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Speaker 1: in our series titled my husband cheated but he has cancer?

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Speaker 1: Should I stay? Just click the link in the show notes,

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Speaker 1: slash description or search dump in week Okay story Time

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Speaker 1: wherever you get your podcasts.

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Speaker 3: All right, now, let's get into today's story.

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Speaker 2: A roommate is having an affair with her coworker, and

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Speaker 2: I don't know who to tell. My roommate, Ali twenty

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Speaker 2: five female is and has been dating her married co

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Speaker 2: worker Jesse twenty nine female, for at least six months.

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Speaker 2: Jesse has been with her husband forty one male for

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Speaker 2: six years, and the two have a four year old

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Speaker 2: daughter together. Ali and I twenty three female lived with

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Speaker 2: one other girl, Kayla twenty six female, who has been

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Speaker 2: friends with Ali's sin they were kids.

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Speaker 3: By the way, this.

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Speaker 2: Comes from user mall puzzleheaded nine to seven four eight

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Speaker 2: on the r slash okay story time subreddit. So prior

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Speaker 2: to moving in together, Ali told Kayla that she was

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Speaker 2: seeing someone her married co worker. Kayla has always been

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Speaker 2: terrible with keeping secrets, so she immediately told me, It's.

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Speaker 4: So funny because it goes into my think all, how

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Speaker 4: could you keep it a seat? She doesn't even try

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Speaker 4: to keep it a sec No, not even trying like

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Speaker 4: I'm gonna cheap. But also I can't. I gotta tell.

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Speaker 2: Everyone immediately turns around and you will not believe what

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Speaker 2: I just heard. At first, it just seemed like gossip,

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Speaker 2: but I realized the severity of it all, and I

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Speaker 2: realized that it could potentially affect me, as I don't

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Speaker 2: want to be involved in any lies. I asked Kayla

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Speaker 2: if Ali would ever talk about it with me, and

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Speaker 2: she told me that I had to pretend not to know.

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Speaker 2: We've all been living together for three months now, and

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Speaker 2: I can count on one hand the amount of time

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Speaker 2: I've actually seen Ali at our house. I heard our

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Speaker 2: front door open around ten pm and again at four

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Speaker 2: am almost every day since she sneaks off to see

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Speaker 2: Jesse during the night. She will agree to plans with us,

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Speaker 2: but cancel last minute because of work things, which Kayla

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Speaker 2: and I know is code for seeing her girlfriend who

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Speaker 2: is married. I've asked Allie why she doesn't come home

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Speaker 2: anymore and if I've done something to upset her, but

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Speaker 2: she always has an excuse and says that something came up,

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Speaker 2: but she's fine. I told Kayla that I'm worried about

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Speaker 2: Ali and asked her Kayla if she'd talked to her,

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Speaker 2: since I'm not supposed to know anything. One day, we

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Speaker 2: managed to get her to come home and we went

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Speaker 2: out for dinner. Before we left, I ran back into

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Speaker 2: the house to give them time to talk while I

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Speaker 2: pretended to look for something. I found out later that

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Speaker 2: their conversation did not go well. Even when it was

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Speaker 2: just the two of them, Ali didn't open up. I

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Speaker 2: understand why she doesn't want to talk about it around me,

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Speaker 2: but it doesn't make sense why she won't talk to Kayla.

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Speaker 2: Kayla is worried that if she continues to push Allie,

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Speaker 2: she will shut her out completely, and the little that

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Speaker 2: we do know about her whereabouts and relationship will be gone.

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Speaker 2: I don't have a strong relationship with Ali, so I'm

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Speaker 2: not worried about keeping or breaking it. If I could

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Speaker 2: have my way, i'd tell the husband or she'd end

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Speaker 2: the relationship and come home. But I don't think that's

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Speaker 2: what's going to happen. At the very least, I want

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Speaker 2: to know that she's not putting us in danger and

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Speaker 2: is being safe herself. I want to talk to her

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Speaker 2: about it, but I know if I do, I could

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Speaker 2: end the friendship between her and Kayla since I'm not

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Speaker 2: supposed to know this is happening. I'm also worried she

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Speaker 2: will completely pull away and never open up to either

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Speaker 2: one of us again.

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Speaker 3: I feel selfish wanting.

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Speaker 2: To talk to her about this, because truly it doesn't

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Speaker 2: concern me, But with the way she's hiding everything, I

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Speaker 2: can't help but worry about every little thing.

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Speaker 3: I don't know what to do.

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Speaker 2: Side info. The husband knows Ali. He thinks she is

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Speaker 2: just best friends with his.

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Speaker 3: Wife and really good friends.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, they're just real, really close friends, those friends, and

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Speaker 2: we'll even have Ali over for dinner and have her

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Speaker 2: watch their daughter sometimes.

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Speaker 3: Wow.

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Speaker 2: He also was in the military and is known to

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Speaker 2: have bursts of anger due to his PTSD.

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Speaker 3: When Overly's dressed.

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Speaker 2: I am worried about Ali's safety if she's caught, but

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Speaker 2: also about mine and Kayla's. I don't know how much

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Speaker 2: he knows about her living situation, but I worry he

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Speaker 2: may find out and come to our house looking for

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Speaker 2: I know she doesn't want to tell us because she's

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Speaker 2: worried about being judged or us wanting her to end it,

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Speaker 2: but she's made countless excuses to justify why she's in

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Speaker 2: this relationship, so at this point I can't tell if

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Speaker 2: she knows it's wrong or not blinded by love. I guess,

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Speaker 2: and we do have an update. It does get scary

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Speaker 2: when you're like, yeah, is the guy being yeah, because

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Speaker 2: this is someone he's inviting.

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Speaker 3: Into his home, like watching his daughter.

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Speaker 2: They're just friends, utter betrayal, Like.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, and to be like it's like you don't want

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Speaker 4: to tell people what to do, but it's like this

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Speaker 4: kind of a This really affects me too, because there

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Speaker 4: is a chance that my safety is being put at risk.

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Speaker 2: Update crap hit the fan much sooner than I was expecting.

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Speaker 2: It was Kayla's birthday yesterday, and Ali had promised to

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Speaker 2: show up, but she canceled go figure on the birthday

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Speaker 2: dinner and the party. So I heard yelling from the

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Speaker 2: living room last night. Ali had stumbled in around three am,

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Speaker 2: and Kayla had been waiting.

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Speaker 3: Up for her. She did like the conversation.

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Speaker 2: Yes, she the bond.

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Speaker 3: I've been waiting her chair.

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Speaker 2: I was not really a part of this plan, nor

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Speaker 2: was I aware, as I was literally asleep in bed.

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Speaker 2: Moments before this happened, Cayla was yelling at Ali and crying,

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Speaker 2: saying that she doesn't understand why Alli chose another girlfriend

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Speaker 2: over their friendship. Again, apparently, when Kayla and Ali had

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Speaker 2: lived together in the past, Ali had done this before,

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Speaker 2: she dated a woman and kept it a secret from

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Speaker 2: everyone except for Kayla. Ali had stopped coming home and

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Speaker 2: had almost gone no contact, but Cayla refused to lose her.

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Speaker 2: This so frustrating, so she's like.

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Speaker 3: A serial homewrecker.

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Speaker 2: When she was screaming, Ali told her to quiet down

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Speaker 2: since it was late, but Kyla said she didn't care

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Speaker 2: who heard, because.

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Speaker 3: Everyone already knew what was going on.

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Speaker 2: She told Ali that she told me about the affair

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Speaker 2: because at least then somebody else would know what kind

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Speaker 2: of a person she was. I think I.

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Speaker 4: Totally missed that Ali or op he only knew because

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Speaker 4: Tayla told her.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, Kayla friend told her.

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Speaker 2: Still didn't know that.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that's that was part of it.

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Speaker 2: She doesn't want Ali to know. Yeah, but now Kayla

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Speaker 2: is like, guess what everybody else. Everybody in the house

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Speaker 2: knows that you're trash.

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Speaker 3: Things got heated.

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Speaker 2: Normally I would have gone downstairs and asked what all

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Speaker 2: the ruckus was about, but as I've been told here

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Speaker 2: many times, I stayed out of it. After Kayla said

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Speaker 2: that I heard a lot of crashing. Ali started screaming

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Speaker 2: the kind of person I am over and over and

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Speaker 2: threw a bunch of our plates and glasses on the ground,

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Speaker 2: The kind of person I am for, the kind of

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Speaker 2: person who would do this and destroy all your plates

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Speaker 2: in your glasses. At this point, after all the smashing

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Speaker 2: and crashing, I couldn't stay put anymore and I went downstairs.

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Speaker 3: Sorry, there was.

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Speaker 2: Glass everywhere, and Ali and Kayla were both sitting on

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Speaker 2: the floor sopping. Oh my god, I would hate to

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Speaker 2: live with these people. Yeah, that's so intense. It's like

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Speaker 2: I know this.

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Speaker 3: It was technically none of Opie's business.

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Speaker 2: But when you live in an environment where this kind

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Speaker 2: of stuff is happening around you, it has an impact

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Speaker 2: on you, whether you try to remove yourself from it

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Speaker 2: or not. I was scared, like really really freaked out

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Speaker 2: in that moment. But I sat down with them and said,

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Speaker 2: we all needed to talk. So we did, And here's

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Speaker 2: the story I got directly from Ali. Jesse wants to

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Speaker 2: leave the marriage, but not due to abuse. She doesn't

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Speaker 2: think she's fit to be a mother. Ali said that

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Speaker 2: they seemed like a perfect little family for about a year,

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Speaker 2: but then Jesse got depressed and started to distance herself

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Speaker 2: from everyone, including her husband and baby. She hoped that

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Speaker 2: as time went on she'd grow closer to her daughter,

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Speaker 2: but that just wasn't the case, so she was looking

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Speaker 2: for an escape from that. Even before Ali was involved romantically,

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Speaker 2: she had told her husband that she didn't want to

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Speaker 2: see her daughter but didn't want a divorce dimn so

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Speaker 2: in what was supposed to be a temporary plan, he

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Speaker 2: became a stay at home dad. She'd stay with her

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Speaker 2: sister in the evenings and night, go to work during

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Speaker 2: the day, and come back to their house to see

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Speaker 2: the daughter or a couple of hours before starting the

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Speaker 2: cycle again. The husband didn't like the idea of her

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Speaker 2: being away and not helping out, but they decided to

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Speaker 2: give it a try. Being away did help her mood,

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Speaker 2: and Jesse told Ali that she felt guilty for feeling better.

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Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, that makes sense. I don't know how

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Speaker 2: long they had planned to try this originally, but they're

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Speaker 2: still doing the nightly routine, except now she's now in

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Speaker 2: her own apartment, which is why the husband may not

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Speaker 2: have wondered about her whereabouts. Jesse and her husband are

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Speaker 2: currently going through she is therapy, yeah, individual and couple's therapy,

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Speaker 2: and she is getting help for her delayed and untreated

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Speaker 2: postpartum depression. Ali doesn't know how soon after they changed

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Speaker 2: their living arrangements that the therapy or treatment started, so

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Speaker 2: I can't speak on the timeline of that.

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Speaker 4: I think she does need to separate from her husband

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Speaker 4: because there's no excuse for cheating, regardless of weather. And

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Speaker 4: you're having problems going on in your relationship, you need

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Speaker 4: to say, hey, like I'm having a really hard time,

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Speaker 4: I need we need a break.

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Speaker 2: Ali said that she was able to justify everything when

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Speaker 2: she said it to herself, but that it was really

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Speaker 2: difficult to admit out loud. She said that it was

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Speaker 2: easy to do because Jesse already wasn't around her daughter,

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Speaker 2: and if she was, the kid was too young to

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Speaker 2: remember anyway, her words not mine. Tayla asked if the

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Speaker 2: husband knew, and Ali cried and refused to answer for

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Speaker 2: a long time. She said that it's clear the husband

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Speaker 2: doesn't know. He's really hopeful that the therapy and medication

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Speaker 2: will be able to bring his family home. Book, but

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Speaker 2: since Ali goes over to their house for dinners into

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Speaker 2: babysit the kids sometimes, she's gotten to know the husband

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Speaker 2: and says that every time she sees him she wants

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Speaker 2: to run away and break it off because she thinks

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Speaker 2: he's a really good guy. I freaking do that. Allie

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Speaker 2: told us that she knows it's stupid, but she wants

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Speaker 2: to be the one chosen in the end.

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Speaker 3: Oh Ugh.

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Speaker 2: She said that even though Jesse loves her husband, she

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Speaker 2: doesn't want to be a mother. Ali doesn't think that

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Speaker 2: therapy is going to change that. Kayla asked her how

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Speaker 2: long she is planning to be in this relationship with Jesse,

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Speaker 2: and she didn't have an answer. She admitted that if

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Speaker 2: the husband found out, she'd step away because she doesn't.

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Speaker 3: Want to hurt him or the daughter.

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Speaker 4: What do you mean, No, you're hurting them, inserted yourself

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Speaker 4: into their lives.

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Speaker 2: But if he never knew, he would stay with her forever.

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Speaker 2: Kayla brought up that Ali had a lot of nice

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Speaker 2: things to say about the husband when she'd said the

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Speaker 2: opposite before.

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Speaker 4: Well, because she's trying to excuse her behavior, but now

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Speaker 4: she's like full on realizing that why she is so guilty.

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Speaker 2: She's trying to rationalize in her own head that she's

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Speaker 2: the good guy somehow. Yeah, she's like, oh, I'm saving Jesse.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, no, I just don't want him to get hurt.

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Speaker 2: That's why I've been cheating on him with his wife,

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Speaker 2: and like I don't I just we just can't let

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Speaker 2: him know. Ali had said that she'd made all that up,

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Speaker 2: that he was an angry guy, so Kayla would get

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Speaker 2: off her back about the things, and so she wouldn't

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Speaker 2: have to feel so guilty. She said that if she

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Speaker 2: could trick herself into thinking she was saving Jesse, she

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Speaker 2: wouldn't feel so.

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Speaker 3: Bad every time she saw him.

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Speaker 2: Literally, well, while I understood I was admittedly really frustrated

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Speaker 2: at this point in the conversation because she made up

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Speaker 2: something that genuinely, whether anyone believes me or not, made

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Speaker 2: me fearful. Ali does know that Kayla and I both

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Speaker 2: have a history with an angry and abusive X, so

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Speaker 2: making up that Jesse's husband had violent outbursts just to

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Speaker 2: get Kayla off her back and justify why she's in

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Speaker 2: the affair really upset me. But I kept this to

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Speaker 2: myself and tried to remain understanding. Since Ali was finally

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Speaker 2: opening up after she said that, we all just kind

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Speaker 2: of sat there for a while. I don't know how

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Speaker 2: long it was, but Ali spoke up and apologized. She

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Speaker 2: said she was sorry to both of us.

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Speaker 3: For how had she been acting.

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Speaker 2: She didn't think about us when she was with Jesse,

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Speaker 2: and every time she came home and didn't have a

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Speaker 2: good excuse as to where she'd been, she felt uncomfortable

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Speaker 2: and wanted to leave again. She apologized to Kayla's for

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Speaker 2: being a discip pointing and bad friend, and to me

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Speaker 2: for these these essentially being my first memories with her.

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Speaker 2: She also said that while it was hard to admit,

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Speaker 2: she appreciated the concern and said that it was eating

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Speaker 2: her up, having no one to talk about this one.

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Speaker 2: But you know what doesn't have to eat you up?

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Speaker 2: Joining our live on YouTube every weekday at three pm

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Speaker 2: Pacific time. Just tap our profile so to finish this

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Speaker 2: story off, She didn't say that she would end things.

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Speaker 2: She did say she felt a lot better after talking

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Speaker 2: through everything. She says she's in love and as much

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Speaker 2: as she knows it's wrong, she can't stop. I still

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Speaker 2: don't think she should be in this relationship, especially now

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Speaker 2: after hearing that Jesse and her husband are actively working

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Speaker 2: on trying to be better. But you'll stay out of

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Speaker 2: it as I've been told to mind my business. I

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Speaker 2: tell the husband, I think, I think at this point,

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Speaker 2: see if you can move out now without like the husband,

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Speaker 2: especially like the husband's temperament not being so bad.

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Speaker 4: It's not a matter of it's safety anymore. It's really

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Speaker 4: just like your home life will probably be pretty bad,

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Speaker 4: but it already is.

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Speaker 2: I mean, and this is someone you don't owe anything too.

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Speaker 2: It's like, and it's also bad on Kayla for like

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Speaker 2: forcing you to hold on to this secret all this time.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and then she dropped the boy, oh herself.

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Speaker 2: My new co worker is amazing but now I feel

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Speaker 2: like I'm emotionally cheating on my husband.

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Speaker 3: Oh man, the conversations are just too good. Hey, Reddit,

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Speaker 3: longtime lurker, first time poster.

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Speaker 2: I could really do with some advice, as I don't

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Speaker 2: have anyone to talk to about this. I hope I'm

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Speaker 2: writing this in the correct way. So for some background,

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Speaker 2: I female thirty one, am married to be male thirty three.

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Speaker 3: We'll call him Brad. Brad, I was gonna say, Ben.

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Speaker 2: We've been together for over thirteen years. He's been my

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Speaker 2: first and everything in life. In the beginning of our relationship,

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Speaker 2: things were great, and we've built a comfortable life together.

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Speaker 3: Nice.

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Speaker 2: I guess with the years things have become a little stagnant,

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Speaker 2: but I just assumed that that was the natural progression

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Speaker 2: of marriage. I mean, what, thirteen years, things.

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Speaker 3: Are gonna go.

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Speaker 2: Things are gonna go up and down in thirteen years,

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Speaker 2: for sure, all right. Really, the next step we've been

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Speaker 2: considering is children, and we've not been not trying, but

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Speaker 2: we've also not been going out of our way to

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Speaker 2: make it happen.

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Speaker 3: So basically just a normal relationship. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: However, I am seriously considering going back on contraception because

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Speaker 2: of a new relationship which has begun to unfold. And

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Speaker 2: this is where I need the advice. I need some

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Speaker 2: birth control now, And you're like, now that I have

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Speaker 2: a new work relationship, I need birth control. By the way,

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Speaker 2: this comes from user throwaway bro j on the r

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Speaker 2: slash okay storytime subreddit. So six months ago, a new

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Speaker 2: woman started at my workplace, Jay female, thirty.

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Speaker 3: Let's call her Janine.

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Speaker 2: Okay, Janine, all right, we've got a Janine um. She

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Speaker 2: had come in on a temporal to cover a maternity leave.

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Speaker 2: She became popular with the team. She's very chatty, warm

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Speaker 2: and likable and fitted in right away.

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Speaker 3: We quickly became very fast friends.

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Speaker 2: Nice we hop desks at work, but I noticed whenever

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Speaker 2: we're working together, she would always take the closest desk

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Speaker 2: to wherever I was, and vice versa.

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Speaker 3: Okay, you guys are worked great together, and so you

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Speaker 3: guys were just always little desk buddies.

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Speaker 2: Wherever you guys, you guys were.

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Speaker 3: Sitting next to each ock. Okay.

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Speaker 2: I started to find myself getting that a little bit

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Speaker 2: more excited about going to work because I would get

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Speaker 2: to see her. Wow, there's never a dull silence when

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Speaker 2: we're together. We are always laughing, giggling and just having fun.

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Speaker 2: We take lunch together and have been for We take

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Speaker 2: lunch together, have been for after drink works, after drink works,

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Speaker 2: after work drinks.

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Speaker 3: We take lunch together.

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Speaker 2: Have been out for after work drinks together, and she's

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Speaker 2: just that best friend that I've never had before.

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Speaker 3: That is nice to have to have that kind of

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Speaker 3: best friend.

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Speaker 4: Yeo.

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Speaker 2: I think maybe OPI's realizing that she thought her best

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Speaker 2: friend was her husband and now it's Janine.

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Speaker 3: Hmm.

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Speaker 2: This is what a best friendship feels like. Even growing up,

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Speaker 2: I was quite shy, and I always envied my little

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Speaker 2: sister with her outgoing nature and having a huge group

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Speaker 2: of best mates. We also have a friendship outside of work.

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Speaker 3: Nice.

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00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:30,360
Speaker 2: She invited me for a hike a few weeks ago,

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Speaker 2: and more since I've been craving to go hiking for

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Speaker 2: so long, Brad won't go with me. I asked him

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Speaker 2: once for my birthday if we could take one hike.

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Speaker 2: He said he would organize something.

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Speaker 3: He didn't.

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Speaker 2: We had ended up in the pub all day, and

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Speaker 2: when I asked when we were going for my birthday hike,

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Speaker 2: he said he couldn't be bothered on my birthday.

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Speaker 3: Dude, he's got a drink.

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Speaker 2: Since becoming friends with Janine, we have done lots of

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Speaker 2: outdoor things together which I've always wanted to do but

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Speaker 2: have been too shy or afraid to do alone. We

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Speaker 2: message a lot and have confided in each other. I've

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Speaker 2: told her that my relationship with Brad feels stale and

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Speaker 2: that he doesn't want to do anything together and if

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Speaker 2: I suggest something different, he just says that I can

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Speaker 2: go without him.

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Speaker 3: You know, I'm getting a picture of a mountain with

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Speaker 3: a lot of snow on it, and as you were

379
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Speaker 3: talking like a yodeler, there will be stuff coming off

380
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Speaker 3: the mountain as in snow, so.

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Speaker 2: You're yodling your yodel conversations are going to start an

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Speaker 2: avalanche of feeling.

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Speaker 3: Yep, yeah, I think as you That's I had that

384
00:17:36,920 --> 00:17:39,919
Speaker 3: picture and I had to say it. Yeah, you're the.

385
00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:45,520
Speaker 2: Landslide now with Stevie Nixon. Right now, he just wants

386
00:17:45,520 --> 00:17:47,680
Speaker 2: to drink at the pub, watch TV or chill at

387
00:17:47,680 --> 00:17:52,520
Speaker 2: home boring. I don't mind that sometimes, but I want more.

388
00:17:52,680 --> 00:17:56,440
Speaker 2: I like being outside and being busy. I've confided in

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Speaker 2: Janine that all the things we are doing together are

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Speaker 2: things I wish.

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00:18:00,160 --> 00:18:02,000
Speaker 3: Brad would do with me. Dang.

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Speaker 2: She has always extended the invitation, but he always says

393
00:18:05,680 --> 00:18:09,320
Speaker 2: no thanks. Obviously, as our friendship has deepened, I've found

394
00:18:09,320 --> 00:18:12,919
Speaker 2: out more about Janine. She returned home after living in

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00:18:12,960 --> 00:18:15,800
Speaker 2: Australia for two and a half years. She was in

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00:18:16,320 --> 00:18:19,719
Speaker 2: a pretty serious relationship out there with another woman, Ka

397
00:18:20,080 --> 00:18:23,840
Speaker 2: twenty nine. However, Janine had to return home because her

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Speaker 2: father passed away suddenly. The relationship breakdown was tough for

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Speaker 2: Janine because she had to face the sudden death of

400
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Speaker 2: her dad but also finish her relationship with Ka. I

401
00:18:35,119 --> 00:18:41,959
Speaker 2: have found myself thinking more about Jay uh or no, sorry,

402
00:18:42,480 --> 00:18:45,960
Speaker 2: I have found myself thinking about Jay more and more,

403
00:18:46,160 --> 00:18:48,399
Speaker 2: and talking about her more and more.

404
00:18:48,640 --> 00:18:52,880
Speaker 3: Ok why is this all bold? Oh God, it's important.

405
00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:55,560
Speaker 2: It's important to I guess, so, Okay, this is all

406
00:18:55,600 --> 00:19:00,840
Speaker 2: gonna be bold. I've found myself thinking about Jane more

407
00:19:00,920 --> 00:19:04,919
Speaker 2: and more, talking about her more and more. One of

408
00:19:04,960 --> 00:19:06,760
Speaker 2: my friends even made a joke that I have a

409
00:19:06,800 --> 00:19:07,480
Speaker 2: crush on her.

410
00:19:09,160 --> 00:19:11,639
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, that's so funny.

411
00:19:11,920 --> 00:19:15,359
Speaker 2: I'm sure that won't progress into anything. The small group

412
00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:17,960
Speaker 2: I was with all laughed and agreed. I of course

413
00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:20,760
Speaker 2: played it off, and I felt embarrassed because maybe I

414
00:19:20,800 --> 00:19:22,800
Speaker 2: had talked about her too much. But it got me

415
00:19:22,960 --> 00:19:27,159
Speaker 2: asking myself, do I have a crush on Janine? I

416
00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:29,760
Speaker 2: find myself thinking about her often, and I feel those

417
00:19:29,840 --> 00:19:32,800
Speaker 2: flutters when I'm going to work and I know I'll

418
00:19:32,840 --> 00:19:34,560
Speaker 2: get to see her, or get to be a bit

419
00:19:34,600 --> 00:19:39,840
Speaker 2: giddy when we are to I feel those flutters when

420
00:19:39,880 --> 00:19:41,960
Speaker 2: I'm going to work and know I'll get to see her,

421
00:19:42,320 --> 00:19:44,320
Speaker 2: or I get a bit giddy when we're going to

422
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Speaker 2: meet up.

423
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Speaker 3: I hug her a little bit.

424
00:19:46,359 --> 00:19:49,840
Speaker 2: Longer when we see each other, and when we say goodbye,

425
00:19:50,960 --> 00:19:53,320
Speaker 2: I get excited when I see she's messaged me. I

426
00:19:53,359 --> 00:19:55,160
Speaker 2: have even dreamed about her. Bro, you have a crush

427
00:19:55,240 --> 00:19:57,200
Speaker 2: on her? Yeah, one hundred percent.

428
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Speaker 3: You have a crush on her. You like Jen.

429
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:03,720
Speaker 2: I'm wondering if she's ever had like a female female

430
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Speaker 2: crush before.

431
00:20:04,680 --> 00:20:06,120
Speaker 3: Hmm, she's always doen.

432
00:20:07,520 --> 00:20:11,520
Speaker 2: She's been probably straight coded maybe her whole life. Yeah, actually, yes,

433
00:20:11,600 --> 00:20:13,760
Speaker 2: she definitely is. Because she said that Brad is her

434
00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:16,960
Speaker 2: first everything. Yeah, and they've been together for thirteen years

435
00:20:17,080 --> 00:20:20,520
Speaker 2: now roommates yeah, and now they Yeah, they've progressed into

436
00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:24,919
Speaker 2: a roommate situation. A couple of weeks ago. It was

437
00:20:24,920 --> 00:20:28,679
Speaker 2: my birthday. It fell on a Monday, so not a

438
00:20:28,760 --> 00:20:31,760
Speaker 2: very exciting day. I'd already arranged with my parents to

439
00:20:31,800 --> 00:20:34,760
Speaker 2: see them the following weekend for belated presents and cards.

440
00:20:35,240 --> 00:20:38,480
Speaker 2: My husband was extremely busy on Monday. He said he

441
00:20:38,560 --> 00:20:42,280
Speaker 2: had a big meeting. Anyway, I didn't get an acknowledgment,

442
00:20:42,359 --> 00:20:48,840
Speaker 2: a card, or a text. Wow, husband, thirteen years How

443
00:20:48,920 --> 00:20:50,680
Speaker 2: you dropping the ball on a birthday? Hey?

444
00:20:50,760 --> 00:20:52,320
Speaker 3: He took her to the pub last year?

445
00:20:52,400 --> 00:20:55,439
Speaker 2: Come on, I took you, tom on wait to the

446
00:20:55,480 --> 00:20:57,240
Speaker 2: pub on your birthday a year ago.

447
00:20:57,359 --> 00:21:02,280
Speaker 3: You want me to do something else? Now? This every year? Gosh,

448
00:21:02,480 --> 00:21:05,760
Speaker 3: it's your birthday every year? Maybe, OPI you should be

449
00:21:05,920 --> 00:21:10,000
Speaker 3: looking for how much you're asking and stop? Yeah? Come on?

450
00:21:11,359 --> 00:21:13,600
Speaker 3: So anyway, I went to work.

451
00:21:14,359 --> 00:21:17,480
Speaker 2: Janine had already arrived and handed me a gift bag

452
00:21:17,600 --> 00:21:21,840
Speaker 2: and a card. Inside were some of my favorite chocolates

453
00:21:22,040 --> 00:21:25,480
Speaker 2: from a handmade place down the road, which is well

454
00:21:25,520 --> 00:21:34,160
Speaker 2: known that I love, also not cheap and a and

455
00:21:34,520 --> 00:21:37,919
Speaker 2: a few other very thoughtful and personalized little things that

456
00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:41,120
Speaker 2: only someone who knows me would think to get. Ah,

457
00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:43,520
Speaker 2: sounds like she knows you a little bit better than

458
00:21:43,560 --> 00:21:44,280
Speaker 2: your husband does.

459
00:21:46,040 --> 00:21:48,960
Speaker 3: That's very sweet. M My heart is warmed. I love

460
00:21:48,960 --> 00:21:50,159
Speaker 3: that this person is.

461
00:21:50,600 --> 00:21:52,480
Speaker 2: You have such a good relationship with this person that

462
00:21:52,480 --> 00:21:55,480
Speaker 2: it's really making you question your actual marriage.

463
00:21:55,560 --> 00:21:56,480
Speaker 3: This is amazing.

464
00:21:57,520 --> 00:21:59,199
Speaker 2: She even took me for lunch and got me a

465
00:21:59,200 --> 00:22:03,000
Speaker 2: little cake from my favorite bakery. Dude, this is your wife.

466
00:22:03,040 --> 00:22:05,360
Speaker 2: This is your new wife. I'm sorry, this is your wife.

467
00:22:05,440 --> 00:22:09,000
Speaker 2: Now you have to be a wife. I didn't tell

468
00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:11,400
Speaker 2: her about my husband, but when she asked what we

469
00:22:12,680 --> 00:22:14,919
Speaker 2: I didn't tell her about my husband, But when she

470
00:22:15,080 --> 00:22:19,119
Speaker 2: asked what where are his and my plans.

471
00:22:18,760 --> 00:22:19,359
Speaker 3: For the evening?

472
00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:22,320
Speaker 2: I didn't know what to tell her. I just made

473
00:22:22,359 --> 00:22:23,480
Speaker 2: an excuse and moved on.

474
00:22:24,080 --> 00:22:24,399
Speaker 3: WHOA.

475
00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:26,960
Speaker 2: When I drove home that night, a little part of

476
00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:29,919
Speaker 2: me had worked up with the expectation that perhaps he

477
00:22:29,960 --> 00:22:33,000
Speaker 2: had arranged something special for when I got home, maybe

478
00:22:33,040 --> 00:22:37,119
Speaker 2: even a surprise party. I had even stupidly convinced myself

479
00:22:37,160 --> 00:22:39,400
Speaker 2: that this was the case, so much so that I

480
00:22:39,520 --> 00:22:40,680
Speaker 2: was really excited.

481
00:22:40,880 --> 00:22:41,280
Speaker 3: Let's go.

482
00:22:41,440 --> 00:22:45,679
Speaker 2: When I walked through the door, there was nothing, not

483
00:22:45,960 --> 00:22:49,200
Speaker 2: a dang thing. He was slobbed out in front of

484
00:22:49,240 --> 00:22:52,680
Speaker 2: the TV, drinking a beer. He even had the audacity

485
00:22:52,800 --> 00:22:54,120
Speaker 2: to say, you're a.

486
00:22:54,080 --> 00:22:58,600
Speaker 3: Bit late, aren't you? What are we having for tea? Wow?

487
00:22:59,760 --> 00:23:03,960
Speaker 2: This this guy completely whiffed on your birthday, Opie, and

488
00:23:04,040 --> 00:23:06,280
Speaker 2: he happens to be your husband.

489
00:23:06,600 --> 00:23:09,040
Speaker 3: That's crazy. I was hoping maybe there was a surprise

490
00:23:09,080 --> 00:23:09,879
Speaker 3: perts at the pub.

491
00:23:10,280 --> 00:23:17,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, no surprise, nothing, absolute nothing all day at which Yeah,

492
00:23:17,560 --> 00:23:20,000
Speaker 2: what are we having for tea? Translates to what are

493
00:23:20,040 --> 00:23:23,200
Speaker 2: you going to make? I told him forget it, I'm

494
00:23:23,240 --> 00:23:25,399
Speaker 2: going out. He turned to look at me and was

495
00:23:25,440 --> 00:23:27,520
Speaker 2: so pissed, saying that he'd had the worst day at

496
00:23:27,560 --> 00:23:30,800
Speaker 2: work and was starving. I didn't say a thing. I

497
00:23:30,960 --> 00:23:33,760
Speaker 2: just got in my car and drove off. I drove

498
00:23:33,800 --> 00:23:34,800
Speaker 2: straight to Janine's.

499
00:23:35,200 --> 00:23:35,880
Speaker 3: Oh.

500
00:23:35,920 --> 00:23:38,680
Speaker 2: Needless to say, she was very surprised when I rocked up,

501
00:23:38,680 --> 00:23:41,720
Speaker 2: but welcomed me with open arms. We cracked open a

502
00:23:41,720 --> 00:23:44,000
Speaker 2: bottle of wine and she ordered a take away and

503
00:23:44,040 --> 00:23:45,800
Speaker 2: she got a few giggles out of me once I

504
00:23:45,840 --> 00:23:47,359
Speaker 2: had calmed down. That's so nice.

505
00:23:47,480 --> 00:23:47,880
Speaker 3: That's nice.

506
00:23:47,920 --> 00:23:50,800
Speaker 2: Hey, Janine's getting the giggles flowing all right. If you

507
00:23:50,840 --> 00:23:53,560
Speaker 2: can hard to have a bad time with Janine, you

508
00:23:53,600 --> 00:23:57,439
Speaker 2: know what they say, you make it jiggle, If you

509
00:23:57,480 --> 00:24:00,800
Speaker 2: make it jiggle, if you can make her laughing, You're

510
00:24:00,840 --> 00:24:03,280
Speaker 2: canna make those cheeks clap and jiggle.

511
00:24:03,680 --> 00:24:05,000
Speaker 3: Very classy.

512
00:24:05,040 --> 00:24:07,920
Speaker 2: It's a very classy line out of Big Protein over here.

513
00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:11,040
Speaker 2: If you can make her laugh and giggle, you can

514
00:24:11,080 --> 00:24:14,000
Speaker 2: make them cheaps clap and clap and jiggle. Yep, you

515
00:24:14,080 --> 00:24:18,760
Speaker 2: know what I'm saying. Um, so she didn't bad mouth

516
00:24:18,840 --> 00:24:23,000
Speaker 2: my husband once she just listened. My phone started blowing

517
00:24:23,080 --> 00:24:27,080
Speaker 2: up and it was my husband the apologies, So it

518
00:24:27,080 --> 00:24:29,919
Speaker 2: looks like the penny had finally dropped. My mom was

519
00:24:29,960 --> 00:24:32,280
Speaker 2: also calling, so I put two and two together in

520
00:24:32,320 --> 00:24:34,880
Speaker 2: that she had reminded him what day it was, so

521
00:24:34,920 --> 00:24:37,560
Speaker 2: he didn't even remember it was your birthday.

522
00:24:37,800 --> 00:24:40,600
Speaker 3: Oh wow, Mom had to remind him.

523
00:24:41,160 --> 00:24:43,560
Speaker 2: Come on the rest of the week, I was flooded

524
00:24:43,600 --> 00:24:46,320
Speaker 2: with flowers and gifts from my husband, which is his

525
00:24:46,440 --> 00:24:49,600
Speaker 2: way of apologizing. He offers to do the things that

526
00:24:49,640 --> 00:24:52,840
Speaker 2: I enjoy doing and the works. We have the weekend

527
00:24:52,880 --> 00:24:55,639
Speaker 2: at my parents to celebrate my belated birthday. But it

528
00:24:55,680 --> 00:24:58,520
Speaker 2: all feels a bit fake and awkward for him, all right,

529
00:24:59,440 --> 00:25:02,520
Speaker 2: but it all feels a bit fake and awkward from him.

530
00:25:03,280 --> 00:25:05,399
Speaker 2: At some point, the topic of kids gets brought up

531
00:25:05,400 --> 00:25:09,239
Speaker 2: and my husband proudly exclaims it shouldn't be long and

532
00:25:09,359 --> 00:25:10,520
Speaker 2: winks around the table.

533
00:25:11,920 --> 00:25:15,560
Speaker 3: I feel sick. Yeah, yeah, and so here I am.

534
00:25:16,600 --> 00:25:19,840
Speaker 2: I know I'm already emotionally cheating on my husband with Janine,

535
00:25:20,240 --> 00:25:22,880
Speaker 2: and I don't even feel sorry. The more I think

536
00:25:22,920 --> 00:25:25,640
Speaker 2: about it, the more I realize how neglectful he has

537
00:25:25,760 --> 00:25:28,440
Speaker 2: been of me, how I do everything in my power

538
00:25:28,480 --> 00:25:31,639
Speaker 2: to please him and make him feel special, and all

539
00:25:31,720 --> 00:25:35,240
Speaker 2: the sacrifices I've made and that I make to make

540
00:25:35,320 --> 00:25:38,800
Speaker 2: him happy and valued, and I have had nothing.

541
00:25:38,520 --> 00:25:40,680
Speaker 3: In return for literal years.

542
00:25:41,119 --> 00:25:41,280
Speaker 5: Ugh.

543
00:25:41,720 --> 00:25:44,600
Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, you're describing what sounds like a dead marriage.

544
00:25:44,680 --> 00:25:44,960
Speaker 3: Yep.

545
00:25:45,680 --> 00:25:48,320
Speaker 2: In the space of a few months, Janine has made

546
00:25:48,320 --> 00:25:50,720
Speaker 2: me feel more special and wanted than he has in

547
00:25:50,760 --> 00:25:55,560
Speaker 2: the last five years, And without even trying, I think, Dan,

548
00:25:56,040 --> 00:25:59,080
Speaker 2: and if I'm being honest, yes, I do have.

549
00:25:59,000 --> 00:25:59,800
Speaker 3: A crush on her.

550
00:26:00,240 --> 00:26:03,600
Speaker 2: Wow, wow, straight out with it. Well, I don't know

551
00:26:03,600 --> 00:26:07,200
Speaker 2: about straight, but definitely out with it. She really does

552
00:26:07,240 --> 00:26:09,520
Speaker 2: give me butterflies and a giddy buzz that I've never

553
00:26:09,560 --> 00:26:12,480
Speaker 2: felt in my life. I find I'm thinking about her,

554
00:26:12,560 --> 00:26:14,920
Speaker 2: missing her when I'm not with her, and I feel

555
00:26:14,960 --> 00:26:17,520
Speaker 2: crazy for feeling this way. But I've never felt like

556
00:26:17,560 --> 00:26:20,720
Speaker 2: this about anyone ever good for you? Oh you're falling

557
00:26:20,720 --> 00:26:26,120
Speaker 2: in love. Congratulations. I don't know what to do. Even

558
00:26:26,119 --> 00:26:30,600
Speaker 2: if I did split. Oh god, I'm getting sweaty. Even

559
00:26:30,640 --> 00:26:32,600
Speaker 2: if I did split from my husband, there is no

560
00:26:32,760 --> 00:26:36,159
Speaker 2: guarantee Janine will even feel the same way. Yeah, that

561
00:26:36,280 --> 00:26:39,359
Speaker 2: is kind of scary. Maybe she's just being nice. I

562
00:26:39,400 --> 00:26:41,600
Speaker 2: know she's still hurting from her ex, and maybe she

563
00:26:41,720 --> 00:26:44,120
Speaker 2: just sees me as a friend. Or maybe she has

564
00:26:44,160 --> 00:26:46,800
Speaker 2: been what I needed to see that i'd serve more.

565
00:26:47,520 --> 00:26:50,320
Speaker 2: Or do I continue on with my husband? I really

566
00:26:50,359 --> 00:26:52,920
Speaker 2: really try to make it work, even though I feel

567
00:26:52,960 --> 00:26:56,200
Speaker 2: like I've tried everything and this change for a week

568
00:26:56,280 --> 00:26:56,600
Speaker 2: or two.

569
00:26:58,200 --> 00:26:58,440
Speaker 3: Wait?

570
00:27:04,560 --> 00:27:07,600
Speaker 2: Or do I continue with my husband? I really really

571
00:27:07,640 --> 00:27:12,680
Speaker 2: want to art. Or do I continue with my husband

572
00:27:12,720 --> 00:27:15,320
Speaker 2: and really really try to make it work even though

573
00:27:15,359 --> 00:27:18,680
Speaker 2: I feel like I've tried everything and things only change

574
00:27:18,720 --> 00:27:20,640
Speaker 2: for about a week or two and then slip back

575
00:27:20,680 --> 00:27:23,840
Speaker 2: into the same old ways. Do we have a baby?

576
00:27:23,880 --> 00:27:28,160
Speaker 2: Would it bring us together? No? Don't have a baby

577
00:27:28,200 --> 00:27:33,040
Speaker 2: to save the relationship. That's ridiculous. I don't know. I'm

578
00:27:33,080 --> 00:27:35,439
Speaker 2: so sorry for the babbling, but I'm at a loss.

579
00:27:35,560 --> 00:27:38,000
Speaker 2: I have nobody I can speak to about this, So

580
00:27:38,119 --> 00:27:41,080
Speaker 2: even one tiny comment could help me right now. I

581
00:27:41,080 --> 00:27:44,159
Speaker 2: will try to answer any questions. Thank you, and we

582
00:27:44,280 --> 00:27:46,760
Speaker 2: have some info coming up, yes, we do. So.

583
00:27:46,840 --> 00:27:53,200
Speaker 3: Two school thoughts. One, your relationship with your husband. Yeah,

584
00:27:54,160 --> 00:27:58,680
Speaker 3: I think we already know he's complacent. He is. There's

585
00:27:58,680 --> 00:28:01,480
Speaker 3: no effort on his side, and I feel like there

586
00:28:01,480 --> 00:28:03,360
Speaker 3: would be more of a spark if you would give

587
00:28:03,400 --> 00:28:05,439
Speaker 3: a little bit because you're willing to give back, but

588
00:28:05,520 --> 00:28:07,240
Speaker 3: you just get nothing to work off of.

589
00:28:07,359 --> 00:28:10,199
Speaker 2: If he did literally anything that you enjoy to do

590
00:28:10,320 --> 00:28:13,520
Speaker 2: with you, like you might ohe people would be giving

591
00:28:13,520 --> 00:28:14,879
Speaker 2: you the attention and it be fine.

592
00:28:15,320 --> 00:28:17,760
Speaker 3: She's just looking to give someone life and no one

593
00:28:17,800 --> 00:28:20,119
Speaker 3: around her has given her life except for except for

594
00:28:20,200 --> 00:28:22,920
Speaker 3: Janine Janine recently and it just so you.

595
00:28:22,880 --> 00:28:25,840
Speaker 2: Know, maybe you and Janine have been soulmates all alone.

596
00:28:25,920 --> 00:28:28,760
Speaker 2: And my other school of thought is with Janine, maybe

597
00:28:28,800 --> 00:28:31,360
Speaker 2: you feel like I mean not saying like you don't

598
00:28:31,359 --> 00:28:33,520
Speaker 2: have a crush on her, but I think you feel

599
00:28:33,520 --> 00:28:38,120
Speaker 2: guilty for having an emotional affair with her because you

600
00:28:38,160 --> 00:28:41,000
Speaker 2: have just connected with someone that is willing to connect

601
00:28:41,000 --> 00:28:44,680
Speaker 2: with you. Yeah, and that's why you're feeling like, Yeah,

602
00:28:44,680 --> 00:28:46,680
Speaker 2: it's like you're you're you're the bar has been so

603
00:28:46,840 --> 00:28:49,959
Speaker 2: low and you're finally with someone that will like actually

604
00:28:49,960 --> 00:28:51,960
Speaker 2: talk to you, and you're probably like, wow, I can't

605
00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:54,360
Speaker 2: wait to have a conversation with someone that will listen

606
00:28:54,400 --> 00:28:58,320
Speaker 2: to me. Yeah, the the bar for emotional bonding between

607
00:28:58,360 --> 00:29:00,840
Speaker 2: you and your husband became so low. Oh yeah, that

608
00:29:01,120 --> 00:29:05,040
Speaker 2: just having a like a good deep connection with another

609
00:29:05,120 --> 00:29:09,000
Speaker 2: person is making you feel like, oh man, I'm cheating

610
00:29:09,000 --> 00:29:12,800
Speaker 2: on my husband because I'm feeling things. It's like, maybe

611
00:29:12,920 --> 00:29:15,640
Speaker 2: you just don't feel anything for your husband because he's

612
00:29:15,800 --> 00:29:17,640
Speaker 2: not really showing up.

613
00:29:17,600 --> 00:29:19,960
Speaker 3: For showing up for you. And I don't think it is.

614
00:29:20,360 --> 00:29:23,959
Speaker 3: The emotional affair is where you are looking to see

615
00:29:24,600 --> 00:29:27,080
Speaker 3: the Janine more than your husband. That's where I think

616
00:29:27,120 --> 00:29:30,680
Speaker 3: the emotional affair is confiding in Janine and talking to her.

617
00:29:30,720 --> 00:29:32,720
Speaker 3: That's just like best friend stuff. It's like, hey, I'm

618
00:29:32,720 --> 00:29:35,120
Speaker 3: dealing with this stuff. Can you hear me out? Yeah?

619
00:29:35,160 --> 00:29:36,600
Speaker 3: I think having like the butterflies.

620
00:29:37,040 --> 00:29:39,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, and that being like I'm actually more, I don't

621
00:29:39,960 --> 00:29:41,600
Speaker 2: even care about going to work. I just care about

622
00:29:41,600 --> 00:29:45,200
Speaker 2: seeing Janine at work. That that could feel a little

623
00:29:45,200 --> 00:29:48,720
Speaker 2: bit like emotional shooting. But let's get into this. Let's

624
00:29:48,800 --> 00:29:51,960
Speaker 2: let's dive a little bit more into this information. Here,

625
00:29:52,920 --> 00:29:57,560
Speaker 2: you've got some additional context. I've tried to communicate with

626
00:29:57,680 --> 00:30:01,080
Speaker 2: my husband numerous times that I'm un happy with our life.

627
00:30:01,440 --> 00:30:05,080
Speaker 2: We tried counseling three times, but each time he quit,

628
00:30:05,520 --> 00:30:07,320
Speaker 2: saying that it was a waste of money and that

629
00:30:07,400 --> 00:30:08,200
Speaker 2: he's happy.

630
00:30:09,280 --> 00:30:11,880
Speaker 3: So you just need a TV to be happy. Yeah,

631
00:30:11,880 --> 00:30:13,720
Speaker 3: this guy's an idiot. You just need a pub and

632
00:30:13,760 --> 00:30:14,760
Speaker 3: a TV and you're fine.

633
00:30:15,400 --> 00:30:18,160
Speaker 2: I've literally begged him to do some of the things

634
00:30:18,160 --> 00:30:20,480
Speaker 2: that I like and to meet some of my needs,

635
00:30:20,720 --> 00:30:22,480
Speaker 2: and he'll try for a week or two at most,

636
00:30:22,880 --> 00:30:26,040
Speaker 2: maybe a month before we fall back to the same

637
00:30:26,120 --> 00:30:26,719
Speaker 2: old tempo.

638
00:30:26,800 --> 00:30:29,280
Speaker 3: And when he messes up, he loves bombing you like crazy.

639
00:30:29,720 --> 00:30:32,280
Speaker 3: Update full blown update.

640
00:30:32,480 --> 00:30:35,560
Speaker 2: Oh boy, I am emotionally jeting on my husband with

641
00:30:35,560 --> 00:30:36,440
Speaker 2: a woman from work.

642
00:30:36,840 --> 00:30:37,320
Speaker 3: Uh oh.

643
00:30:37,360 --> 00:30:40,320
Speaker 2: A lot has happened over the last couple of weeks. Okay,

644
00:30:40,400 --> 00:30:43,440
Speaker 2: but overall I think things are moving in a positive direction.

645
00:30:43,760 --> 00:30:44,240
Speaker 3: Okay.

646
00:30:44,480 --> 00:30:47,840
Speaker 2: I wanted to thank everyone for your advice, good and bad.

647
00:30:47,920 --> 00:30:52,360
Speaker 2: It really helped motivate me to where I am now. Hey,

648
00:30:52,440 --> 00:30:54,520
Speaker 2: sometimes you take the good, you take the bad, You

649
00:30:54,640 --> 00:30:58,120
Speaker 2: take them both, and there you have other facts of life.

650
00:30:58,440 --> 00:30:58,800
Speaker 3: Okay.

651
00:30:59,560 --> 00:31:01,800
Speaker 2: I sat down and had a conversation with Brad the

652
00:31:01,840 --> 00:31:05,120
Speaker 2: next evening. It was a very long night. Long and

653
00:31:05,160 --> 00:31:07,840
Speaker 2: short of it is. The long and short of it

654
00:31:07,960 --> 00:31:10,480
Speaker 2: was that I told him I wasn't happy and why,

655
00:31:10,760 --> 00:31:14,960
Speaker 2: and that I hadn't been okay. The long and short

656
00:31:14,960 --> 00:31:18,080
Speaker 2: of it was, I told him I was happy. I mean,

657
00:31:18,200 --> 00:31:21,360
Speaker 2: I wasn't bit. The long and short of it was

658
00:31:21,400 --> 00:31:24,120
Speaker 2: that I told him I wasn't happy and why, and

659
00:31:24,120 --> 00:31:25,400
Speaker 2: that I hadn't been for.

660
00:31:25,320 --> 00:31:26,560
Speaker 3: A very long time.

661
00:31:27,440 --> 00:31:31,080
Speaker 2: He pretty much deflected everything I had to say. A

662
00:31:31,080 --> 00:31:34,040
Speaker 2: Few of his choice lines included why can't you just

663
00:31:34,080 --> 00:31:37,000
Speaker 2: be happy? All you do is mown and referring to

664
00:31:37,040 --> 00:31:40,400
Speaker 2: the birthday incident, I've proved how sorry I am.

665
00:31:40,520 --> 00:31:42,040
Speaker 3: It wasn't that big of a deal.

666
00:31:42,920 --> 00:31:48,080
Speaker 2: Classic classic, just being like, actually, your feelings are the problem,

667
00:31:48,120 --> 00:31:48,440
Speaker 2: not me.

668
00:31:49,040 --> 00:31:50,760
Speaker 3: I'm sorry you feel that way.

669
00:31:50,880 --> 00:31:52,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, why don't you just change the way you feel

670
00:31:52,680 --> 00:31:54,040
Speaker 2: about everything in your life?

671
00:31:54,200 --> 00:31:56,959
Speaker 3: Just bottle them up or just drink a bottle. Come on.

672
00:31:57,440 --> 00:32:00,080
Speaker 2: He refused to go back to therapy, saying that it

673
00:32:00,080 --> 00:32:02,720
Speaker 2: was a waste of time and money. I mean, for

674
00:32:02,760 --> 00:32:04,959
Speaker 2: this guy, it might be because I don't think anything

675
00:32:05,000 --> 00:32:09,120
Speaker 2: is getting through a head. This thick, I didn't feel

676
00:32:09,120 --> 00:32:11,440
Speaker 2: like I was getting through it at all, and eventually

677
00:32:11,480 --> 00:32:15,920
Speaker 2: admitted that I had this, and eventually admitted I had

678
00:32:15,920 --> 00:32:19,680
Speaker 2: started to develop feelings for someone else. Wow, he immediately

679
00:32:19,840 --> 00:32:22,640
Speaker 2: jumped to the conclusion that I slept with someone and

680
00:32:22,720 --> 00:32:23,800
Speaker 2: went ballistic.

681
00:32:24,960 --> 00:32:30,280
Speaker 3: Well, dude, you didn't. I mean, it's I understand.

682
00:32:29,880 --> 00:32:32,400
Speaker 2: That it's kind of a fair thing to jump to

683
00:32:32,520 --> 00:32:34,880
Speaker 2: when you say that, but at the same time, you're

684
00:32:34,920 --> 00:32:37,400
Speaker 2: not listening to your wife. He had wasted quite a

685
00:32:37,400 --> 00:32:42,200
Speaker 2: lot by this point, and he had wasted quite a

686
00:32:42,200 --> 00:32:46,920
Speaker 2: lot by this point. Maybe I'm gonna say he had

687
00:32:47,040 --> 00:32:49,400
Speaker 2: drank quite a lot by this point, and he smashed

688
00:32:49,440 --> 00:32:51,560
Speaker 2: a few things in anger, and to be honest, it

689
00:32:51,600 --> 00:32:54,560
Speaker 2: frightened me. I mean, yeah, things being smashed in your

690
00:32:54,560 --> 00:32:58,120
Speaker 2: proximity is frightening for sure. It took me a long

691
00:32:58,200 --> 00:33:00,320
Speaker 2: time to convince him that I haven't slept with it anyone.

692
00:33:00,400 --> 00:33:02,520
Speaker 2: And when I felt like he was listening to me again,

693
00:33:03,040 --> 00:33:06,240
Speaker 2: I explained that my feelings had developed purely from someone

694
00:33:06,400 --> 00:33:09,520
Speaker 2: who was meeting my emotional needs and the needs that

695
00:33:09,560 --> 00:33:13,000
Speaker 2: he hadn't met for the last five years, and I

696
00:33:13,120 --> 00:33:17,400
Speaker 2: listed said examples. They took me out on my birthday.

697
00:33:18,000 --> 00:33:20,400
Speaker 2: They acknowledged me on my birthday. I don't know if

698
00:33:20,400 --> 00:33:23,560
Speaker 2: it was down to the drink, but he got incredibly nasty,

699
00:33:23,720 --> 00:33:27,200
Speaker 2: calling me names, continuing to smash things and accusing me

700
00:33:27,280 --> 00:33:30,160
Speaker 2: of sleeping with people, and then started grabbing stuff of

701
00:33:30,200 --> 00:33:34,440
Speaker 2: mine and throwing it around I think to insinuate packing

702
00:33:34,560 --> 00:33:38,720
Speaker 2: up my stuff to leave. Wow, guy sounds like he

703
00:33:38,720 --> 00:33:39,760
Speaker 2: has gone off for the deep end.

704
00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:40,880
Speaker 3: Oh.

705
00:33:41,000 --> 00:33:43,400
Speaker 2: I called my mom to pick me up. My decision

706
00:33:43,480 --> 00:33:43,880
Speaker 2: was made.

707
00:33:44,360 --> 00:33:47,160
Speaker 3: I was done. Good for you, good for you? Op?

708
00:33:47,520 --> 00:33:52,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, with or without Janine, I was done. I've been

709
00:33:52,200 --> 00:33:54,800
Speaker 2: staying at my mom's ever since my family went to

710
00:33:54,840 --> 00:33:58,160
Speaker 2: retrieve my stuff. Brad has been blowing it, blowing up

711
00:33:58,200 --> 00:34:02,440
Speaker 2: my phone, flip flopping between every bad name under the sun,

712
00:34:02,880 --> 00:34:05,200
Speaker 2: to begging me to come home and saying he'll do

713
00:34:05,280 --> 00:34:08,120
Speaker 2: whatever it takes. But he told me everything that I

714
00:34:08,200 --> 00:34:10,719
Speaker 2: needed to know within the first thirty minutes of our talk.

715
00:34:11,320 --> 00:34:13,440
Speaker 3: Yeah. Man, once you let the genie.

716
00:34:13,120 --> 00:34:14,719
Speaker 2: Out of the bottle, you can't put it back in.

717
00:34:15,040 --> 00:34:20,279
Speaker 2: Uh yeah, oh yeah, oh genie? Oh want you take

718
00:34:20,320 --> 00:34:22,040
Speaker 2: the janine out of the bottle?

719
00:34:22,239 --> 00:34:24,399
Speaker 3: Out of good high five.

720
00:34:26,640 --> 00:34:30,040
Speaker 2: The last eleven days have felt very surreal, but overall,

721
00:34:30,080 --> 00:34:33,200
Speaker 2: I'm at peace with my decision. My friend is helping

722
00:34:33,280 --> 00:34:34,160
Speaker 2: with the legal stuff.

723
00:34:34,200 --> 00:34:38,920
Speaker 3: Let's go good friend. So on to Janine, she has

724
00:34:38,960 --> 00:34:40,040
Speaker 3: been supportive and kind.

725
00:34:40,239 --> 00:34:43,320
Speaker 2: I almost told her how I was feeling a few times,

726
00:34:43,760 --> 00:34:47,279
Speaker 2: but she said some news herself. Her ex girlfriend has

727
00:34:47,320 --> 00:34:49,960
Speaker 2: been trying to reconnect with her to see if they

728
00:34:50,000 --> 00:34:55,080
Speaker 2: can give it a second go No, no.

729
00:34:54,960 --> 00:34:58,960
Speaker 3: Dang, whoa not the no? Oh?

730
00:34:59,040 --> 00:35:01,880
Speaker 2: Janine's ex is offering to come to the UK, or

731
00:35:01,920 --> 00:35:02,920
Speaker 2: wants them both to.

732
00:35:02,880 --> 00:35:03,840
Speaker 3: Go to New Zealand.

733
00:35:04,480 --> 00:35:07,000
Speaker 2: I don't really know where Janine's head is at. I

734
00:35:07,080 --> 00:35:10,520
Speaker 2: do know that she's hesitant for many reasons. Whether I'm

735
00:35:11,080 --> 00:35:14,560
Speaker 2: whether whether I'm one of them or not, I don't know.

736
00:35:15,800 --> 00:35:19,239
Speaker 2: I really really want to shoot my shot, but I'm

737
00:35:19,280 --> 00:35:20,680
Speaker 2: absolutely petrified.

738
00:35:22,480 --> 00:35:24,680
Speaker 3: Oh sorry, I really really.

739
00:35:24,560 --> 00:35:28,279
Speaker 2: Want to shoot my shot, but I am absolutely petrified.

740
00:35:28,840 --> 00:35:32,439
Speaker 2: I truly do believe there is something between us. Ah.

741
00:35:32,920 --> 00:35:35,120
Speaker 3: I just don't know. Should I just.

742
00:35:35,160 --> 00:35:37,080
Speaker 2: Tell her or should I leave it and let the

743
00:35:37,160 --> 00:35:41,920
Speaker 2: situation with her ex play out? Nah? Dude? Oh oh

744
00:35:41,960 --> 00:35:46,880
Speaker 2: oh wait, there's another update a TLDR here husband and

745
00:35:46,920 --> 00:35:50,160
Speaker 2: I separated, unsure on if I should pursue a relationship

746
00:35:50,160 --> 00:35:52,840
Speaker 2: with the woman from work and we do have another

747
00:35:52,920 --> 00:35:55,319
Speaker 2: update we think happen.

748
00:35:56,120 --> 00:35:58,680
Speaker 3: You have to shoot the shot. You absolutely have to

749
00:35:58,719 --> 00:36:00,800
Speaker 3: shoot the shot. I don't shoot it like Devin Booker.

750
00:36:01,440 --> 00:36:04,759
Speaker 3: Shooter like Michael Jordan's. Hold on, shoot your shot like

751
00:36:04,800 --> 00:36:05,440
Speaker 3: Michael Jordan.

752
00:36:05,719 --> 00:36:08,320
Speaker 2: Devin Booker is one of the elite spot up shooters

753
00:36:08,320 --> 00:36:09,760
Speaker 2: in the NBA TA champiships.

754
00:36:09,800 --> 00:36:13,560
Speaker 3: As you have he has. He has multiple finals appearances. Okay, cool,

755
00:36:13,560 --> 00:36:14,840
Speaker 3: how many championships does you have?

756
00:36:15,000 --> 00:36:15,360
Speaker 2: None?

757
00:36:15,480 --> 00:36:17,200
Speaker 3: Okay, MJ.

758
00:36:17,600 --> 00:36:20,600
Speaker 2: I think he has like four? Six of course, yeah,

759
00:36:20,680 --> 00:36:22,759
Speaker 2: of course I know that he has six. Everyone knows

760
00:36:22,760 --> 00:36:24,080
Speaker 2: that Michael Jordan has six rates.

761
00:36:24,080 --> 00:36:26,120
Speaker 3: Well, then shoot your shot like Michael Jordan. Don't be

762
00:36:26,160 --> 00:36:27,919
Speaker 3: Devin Booker. That's my hot take.

763
00:36:28,040 --> 00:36:30,840
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, Well, the defensive efficiency ratings in that

764
00:36:30,880 --> 00:36:33,800
Speaker 2: era weren't as high as they are now anywhere. Oh my, okay,

765
00:36:34,400 --> 00:36:38,359
Speaker 2: Update number two. I recently posted to this subreddit and

766
00:36:38,440 --> 00:36:40,680
Speaker 2: quite a few people reached out for an update. So

767
00:36:40,840 --> 00:36:44,399
Speaker 2: Reddit friends, I have an update. Oh boy, I have

768
00:36:44,480 --> 00:36:47,040
Speaker 2: to say I was somewhat shocked to discover three hundred

769
00:36:47,080 --> 00:36:49,040
Speaker 2: and sixty of you are following me, and I've had

770
00:36:49,120 --> 00:36:52,799
Speaker 2: lots of very kind messages of encouragement, and I've had

771
00:36:53,160 --> 00:36:57,879
Speaker 2: lots of very kind messages of encouragement and wholesomeness. Good

772
00:36:57,880 --> 00:37:00,360
Speaker 2: for you, it looks like the internet it was on

773
00:37:00,360 --> 00:37:04,000
Speaker 2: your side. I just wanted to say thank you. I

774
00:37:04,160 --> 00:37:06,560
Speaker 2: also got lots of requests for an update, and I

775
00:37:06,560 --> 00:37:08,720
Speaker 2: thought I should wait for more substantial news.

776
00:37:08,800 --> 00:37:10,880
Speaker 3: But for now, I hope this will suffice.

777
00:37:11,680 --> 00:37:14,759
Speaker 2: My ex husband has decided to tell everyone that I

778
00:37:14,800 --> 00:37:21,000
Speaker 2: am pregnant and that I have destroyed his family sick. Yeah.

779
00:37:22,200 --> 00:37:24,840
Speaker 2: His mom even came to my parents' place to beg

780
00:37:25,000 --> 00:37:27,600
Speaker 2: me to see reason for her grandchild.

781
00:37:28,880 --> 00:37:30,560
Speaker 3: I am not pregnant.

782
00:37:31,880 --> 00:37:35,000
Speaker 2: There is no baby, and there.

783
00:37:35,040 --> 00:37:36,200
Speaker 3: Never has been.

784
00:37:37,200 --> 00:37:39,520
Speaker 2: I have avoided social media and I really use it,

785
00:37:39,560 --> 00:37:44,239
Speaker 2: but apparently I'm being dragged hard. I really don't care

786
00:37:44,280 --> 00:37:46,120
Speaker 2: at this point. Good for YOUE just let that roll

787
00:37:46,200 --> 00:37:49,439
Speaker 2: right off you. Your ex's scumbag is like a rock

788
00:37:49,880 --> 00:37:53,759
Speaker 2: in a river. It will be obvious there is no

789
00:37:53,920 --> 00:37:57,759
Speaker 2: baby soon enough. I've had lots of support from my friends, though,

790
00:37:57,760 --> 00:38:00,879
Speaker 2: and they have been backing my corner whenever need. I've

791
00:38:00,880 --> 00:38:03,719
Speaker 2: also heard that he's been celebrating his freedom from his

792
00:38:03,840 --> 00:38:09,800
Speaker 2: quote boring dead marriage. Buddy, you were the boring dead guy,

793
00:38:10,120 --> 00:38:13,200
Speaker 2: sitting on the couch every night with a beer in

794
00:38:13,239 --> 00:38:13,680
Speaker 2: your hand.

795
00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:18,839
Speaker 3: Yeah, hmmm, projection. He's gonna be good super projection for

796
00:38:18,880 --> 00:38:21,120
Speaker 3: like a month or two from now. He's gonna be like, Oh,

797
00:38:21,120 --> 00:38:23,000
Speaker 3: there's no way he feels good right now. That is

798
00:38:23,040 --> 00:38:25,680
Speaker 3: a lie. Oh he's masking it. We keep going.

799
00:38:25,800 --> 00:38:27,160
Speaker 2: That is a straight up lie.

800
00:38:27,200 --> 00:38:28,640
Speaker 3: There's no way he's masking it.

801
00:38:30,040 --> 00:38:33,960
Speaker 2: He's been celebrating his freedom from his quote boring dead marriage,

802
00:38:34,440 --> 00:38:38,200
Speaker 2: partying hard with lots of photo evidence. I even had

803
00:38:38,239 --> 00:38:40,480
Speaker 2: a message from an unknown number to say he had

804
00:38:40,480 --> 00:38:43,200
Speaker 2: slept with a woman or two in Amsterdam on a

805
00:38:43,239 --> 00:38:44,959
Speaker 2: stag he'd been on a few years ago.

806
00:38:45,360 --> 00:38:47,160
Speaker 3: Cool. So that's cool.

807
00:38:47,800 --> 00:38:51,400
Speaker 2: Find out that your husband was also cheating on you. Nice,

808
00:38:51,600 --> 00:38:55,640
Speaker 2: So you've got nothing to regret. Yikes, who knows? Seems

809
00:38:55,640 --> 00:38:58,399
Speaker 2: I'm learning a lot. The messages begging me to come

810
00:38:58,400 --> 00:39:01,440
Speaker 2: back have also stopped since my running away with the

811
00:39:01,520 --> 00:39:06,879
Speaker 2: baby escapades. Anyway, enough about him. Oh and for those

812
00:39:06,920 --> 00:39:09,560
Speaker 2: of you who are wondering I'm in therapy, Good for you.

813
00:39:09,600 --> 00:39:09,880
Speaker 3: Ope.

814
00:39:10,360 --> 00:39:12,080
Speaker 2: I would need therapy if I was going through all this.

815
00:39:12,840 --> 00:39:16,160
Speaker 2: I always have been throughout this entire saga. Also, when

816
00:39:16,160 --> 00:39:19,200
Speaker 2: I told Brad everything I had asked him numerous times

817
00:39:19,239 --> 00:39:23,120
Speaker 2: to please stop drinking because it was important, and he refused. Wow,

818
00:39:23,440 --> 00:39:26,239
Speaker 2: I didn't purposefully wait for him to get wasted beforehand.

819
00:39:26,800 --> 00:39:30,279
Speaker 2: I digress. Janine invited me over for dinner at her

820
00:39:30,320 --> 00:39:32,680
Speaker 2: place the other night. I haven't seen much of her

821
00:39:32,719 --> 00:39:34,600
Speaker 2: the last week with all that's been going on, and

822
00:39:34,640 --> 00:39:36,439
Speaker 2: I had a few days off from work to sort

823
00:39:36,480 --> 00:39:39,000
Speaker 2: some stuff out. So this was the first chance I'd

824
00:39:39,080 --> 00:39:41,080
Speaker 2: had a proper ketchup with her.

825
00:39:41,520 --> 00:39:42,000
Speaker 3: Oh.

826
00:39:42,040 --> 00:39:43,760
Speaker 2: I decided to tell her how I felt.

827
00:39:43,960 --> 00:39:45,239
Speaker 3: Oh boy, Oh, In.

828
00:39:45,239 --> 00:39:47,960
Speaker 2: An ideal world, I would have liked to have taken

829
00:39:48,000 --> 00:39:51,560
Speaker 2: even more time to allow things to unfold organically over time.

830
00:39:52,040 --> 00:39:54,080
Speaker 2: I know, jumping out of the frying pan and into

831
00:39:54,080 --> 00:39:57,200
Speaker 2: the fire is not ideal. And yes, I agree, I

832
00:39:57,239 --> 00:39:59,799
Speaker 2: do need time to figure out who and what I

833
00:39:59,840 --> 00:40:03,359
Speaker 2: like and am. But time is not on my side

834
00:40:03,360 --> 00:40:05,080
Speaker 2: at this point. Yeah. And I don't want to live

835
00:40:05,120 --> 00:40:07,479
Speaker 2: the rest of my life thinking what if?

836
00:40:07,719 --> 00:40:08,000
Speaker 3: Yep?

837
00:40:08,320 --> 00:40:12,279
Speaker 2: Yeah, And so I wrote her a letter.

838
00:40:12,840 --> 00:40:12,920
Speaker 5: Oh.

839
00:40:13,320 --> 00:40:15,120
Speaker 3: I was extremely nervous.

840
00:40:15,080 --> 00:40:17,640
Speaker 2: And she could tell. She could tell in the letter.

841
00:40:18,400 --> 00:40:20,880
Speaker 2: She asked me what was up? And I took a

842
00:40:20,880 --> 00:40:23,719
Speaker 2: few big gulps of wine and asked her if she

843
00:40:23,719 --> 00:40:27,279
Speaker 2: would mind if I read something to her. Okay, nice, Okay,

844
00:40:27,360 --> 00:40:28,920
Speaker 2: So she wrote the letter, but she was gonna read

845
00:40:28,920 --> 00:40:29,400
Speaker 2: it in person.

846
00:40:29,520 --> 00:40:31,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, she agreed.

847
00:40:31,760 --> 00:40:35,080
Speaker 2: My hands were literally shaking, and for some reason I

848
00:40:35,120 --> 00:40:37,920
Speaker 2: got really choked up, but I took some deep breaths

849
00:40:37,920 --> 00:40:41,279
Speaker 2: and got through it. The gist of it was, I

850
00:40:41,360 --> 00:40:44,800
Speaker 2: thanked her for all the support and kindness. I thanked

851
00:40:44,840 --> 00:40:47,759
Speaker 2: her for all the support and kindness she had shown

852
00:40:47,800 --> 00:40:50,560
Speaker 2: me over the last seven months, and for showing me

853
00:40:50,600 --> 00:40:52,920
Speaker 2: that I deserved so much more than what I was

854
00:40:52,960 --> 00:40:55,799
Speaker 2: settling for. Damn very well put.

855
00:40:55,960 --> 00:40:56,280
Speaker 3: Wow.

856
00:40:56,760 --> 00:40:59,400
Speaker 2: I also said that I really wanted her to be happy,

857
00:40:59,680 --> 00:41:02,200
Speaker 2: and no matter what she decided to do or where

858
00:41:02,239 --> 00:41:04,680
Speaker 2: she decided to go, I just wanted her to find

859
00:41:04,680 --> 00:41:07,719
Speaker 2: her happiness because she deserves it, and no matter what,

860
00:41:08,239 --> 00:41:11,239
Speaker 2: she would always be welcome in my life, and I

861
00:41:11,320 --> 00:41:15,319
Speaker 2: hoped we would always remain great friends. Ah. I told

862
00:41:15,360 --> 00:41:18,200
Speaker 2: her that I wished I had more time, However I

863
00:41:18,280 --> 00:41:19,120
Speaker 2: needed to tell her.

864
00:41:20,000 --> 00:41:22,399
Speaker 3: Oh wait. I told her that I wished I had

865
00:41:22,440 --> 00:41:23,000
Speaker 3: more time.

866
00:41:23,239 --> 00:41:26,680
Speaker 2: However I needed to tell her something because if I didn't,

867
00:41:26,960 --> 00:41:28,319
Speaker 2: I would always regret it.

868
00:41:28,920 --> 00:41:31,720
Speaker 3: Oh boyo, but it rise.

869
00:41:33,080 --> 00:41:35,800
Speaker 2: I explained that she had made more of an impact

870
00:41:35,800 --> 00:41:38,600
Speaker 2: on my life than she could have ever imagined, and

871
00:41:38,640 --> 00:41:41,520
Speaker 2: that I might be wildly missing the mark here, but

872
00:41:41,600 --> 00:41:48,560
Speaker 2: that I had feelings for her. I am so excited.

873
00:41:48,760 --> 00:41:49,239
Speaker 3: Oh boy.

874
00:41:50,120 --> 00:41:52,400
Speaker 2: I told her that I wasn't sure if I was

875
00:41:52,480 --> 00:41:55,120
Speaker 2: just blinded by her kindness and love because I had

876
00:41:55,120 --> 00:41:56,319
Speaker 2: been so starved of it.

877
00:41:56,640 --> 00:41:59,680
Speaker 3: However, for me it felt very.

878
00:42:01,200 --> 00:42:04,440
Speaker 2: I apologized if I had completely got the wrong idea,

879
00:42:04,520 --> 00:42:07,279
Speaker 2: and regardless of whether she felt something in return, I

880
00:42:07,320 --> 00:42:08,720
Speaker 2: would be completely at peace.

881
00:42:09,000 --> 00:42:10,280
Speaker 3: Whenever she decided.

882
00:42:11,320 --> 00:42:14,280
Speaker 2: I will forever be grateful for the lessons our friendship

883
00:42:14,280 --> 00:42:16,840
Speaker 2: has taught me and the growth that it has allowed

884
00:42:16,880 --> 00:42:18,920
Speaker 2: me to start my new chapter.

885
00:42:19,719 --> 00:42:22,879
Speaker 3: This has been the greatest gift. Okay, get on with it.

886
00:42:23,560 --> 00:42:23,920
Speaker 3: Say it.

887
00:42:24,239 --> 00:42:27,560
Speaker 2: When I finished reading, I could literally feel my heart

888
00:42:27,600 --> 00:42:30,600
Speaker 2: beat in my head and my hands were trembling. I

889
00:42:30,719 --> 00:42:34,399
Speaker 2: finally plucked up the courage to meet her gaze, and

890
00:42:34,440 --> 00:42:36,360
Speaker 2: her eyes were filled with tears.

891
00:42:36,760 --> 00:42:39,399
Speaker 3: Wow. Oh. She gave me a.

892
00:42:39,360 --> 00:42:42,920
Speaker 2: Huge hug and said that was the nicest thing anyone

893
00:42:43,080 --> 00:42:46,480
Speaker 2: had ever said, and we both just cried.

894
00:42:46,160 --> 00:42:47,200
Speaker 3: For a bit. Ow.

895
00:42:47,800 --> 00:42:50,319
Speaker 2: Oh God, I hope that she I hope she doesn't go.

896
00:42:50,480 --> 00:42:55,879
Speaker 2: But yeah, I kept saying over and over. It's fine

897
00:42:55,880 --> 00:42:58,080
Speaker 2: if you don't feel the same way, because I started

898
00:42:58,080 --> 00:43:01,120
Speaker 2: to feel unbelievably vulnerable. I mean yeah, because you just

899
00:43:01,239 --> 00:43:03,320
Speaker 2: laid out your entire heart on a piece of paper.

900
00:43:04,280 --> 00:43:07,240
Speaker 2: She kept hugging me and then made enough distance between

901
00:43:07,320 --> 00:43:11,040
Speaker 2: us so we could make eye contact, and she said, well,

902
00:43:11,800 --> 00:43:15,480
Speaker 2: this really complicates things because I feel the same way.

903
00:43:16,120 --> 00:43:22,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's crazy. Yes, you shut your shot, let's go.

904
00:43:22,400 --> 00:43:27,400
Speaker 3: And it swished. Michael Jordan say it game seven. Yep,

905
00:43:29,120 --> 00:43:29,920
Speaker 3: that's the sound of this.

906
00:43:30,520 --> 00:43:33,799
Speaker 2: Nothing but net. I literally thought my heart was going

907
00:43:33,800 --> 00:43:36,160
Speaker 2: to burst. We hugged a bit more and made a

908
00:43:36,160 --> 00:43:39,080
Speaker 2: few silly jokes to cut the emotion back. Read it,

909
00:43:39,160 --> 00:43:43,160
Speaker 2: I was a mess. By the way, you can join

910
00:43:43,239 --> 00:43:46,160
Speaker 2: us live on YouTube every weekday at three pm PST.

911
00:43:46,480 --> 00:43:47,400
Speaker 3: Just tap our profile.

912
00:43:47,560 --> 00:43:49,760
Speaker 2: We we don't care if you're a mess.

913
00:43:50,200 --> 00:43:53,200
Speaker 3: We just want you here. Yeah, I mean that's awesome.

914
00:43:53,440 --> 00:43:54,360
Speaker 3: I always shoot your shot.

915
00:43:54,400 --> 00:43:56,560
Speaker 2: This is the best thing ever. Yeah, this is a lesson.

916
00:43:56,600 --> 00:43:59,160
Speaker 2: And if you feel something real and you really feel it,

917
00:44:00,080 --> 00:44:03,560
Speaker 2: don't just stifle it, even if it's really scary, because

918
00:44:03,600 --> 00:44:05,040
Speaker 2: that is horrifying.

919
00:44:05,080 --> 00:44:07,160
Speaker 3: You miss one thousand percent of the shots you don't take.

920
00:44:07,480 --> 00:44:11,480
Speaker 2: You miss you miss every shot, So good for her,

921
00:44:11,560 --> 00:44:17,160
Speaker 2: don't That's awesome that she did that. Yeah, ma'am, all right,

922
00:44:17,239 --> 00:44:21,000
Speaker 2: let's finish this off. Comparing notes, it looked like she

923
00:44:21,040 --> 00:44:23,800
Speaker 2: had developed a crush at a similar time, but also

924
00:44:24,200 --> 00:44:27,600
Speaker 2: never wanted to overstep any boundaries, so when anything related

925
00:44:27,600 --> 00:44:30,160
Speaker 2: to Brad came up, she steered well clear and would

926
00:44:30,200 --> 00:44:33,279
Speaker 2: remain unbiased and always tried to encourage him to join

927
00:44:33,360 --> 00:44:36,560
Speaker 2: us on any outings and et cetera. Okay, wow, that's

928
00:44:36,719 --> 00:44:38,680
Speaker 2: so she had feelings for you the whole time, and

929
00:44:38,719 --> 00:44:41,640
Speaker 2: she's emotionally mature, and she was respectful enough to not

930
00:44:41,680 --> 00:44:43,400
Speaker 2: be like, I'm not going to try to poison her

931
00:44:43,440 --> 00:44:45,239
Speaker 2: marriage just because I have a crush on her.

932
00:44:45,960 --> 00:44:47,000
Speaker 3: That's beautiful.

933
00:44:47,920 --> 00:44:50,319
Speaker 2: She also said that when her ex got back in

934
00:44:50,360 --> 00:44:52,879
Speaker 2: touch to try and get back together, she was very

935
00:44:52,960 --> 00:44:55,680
Speaker 2: tempted to go as her feelings for me were getting

936
00:44:55,719 --> 00:44:59,359
Speaker 2: stronger and she never thought I would be interested as

937
00:45:03,800 --> 00:45:07,560
Speaker 2: but but but but uh sorry, hold on, let me

938
00:45:07,600 --> 00:45:10,399
Speaker 2: just sh She also said when her ex got back

939
00:45:10,400 --> 00:45:12,680
Speaker 2: in touch to try and get back together, she was

940
00:45:12,880 --> 00:45:15,239
Speaker 2: very tempted to go as her feelings for me were

941
00:45:15,239 --> 00:45:18,320
Speaker 2: getting stronger and she never thought I would be interested

942
00:45:18,400 --> 00:45:21,839
Speaker 2: being straight and coming out of a marriage. She saw

943
00:45:21,920 --> 00:45:24,520
Speaker 2: leaving as a good opportunity to make that space from

944
00:45:24,520 --> 00:45:25,160
Speaker 2: her feelings.

945
00:45:25,480 --> 00:45:27,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's gotta be hard to be like, wow, I

946
00:45:27,480 --> 00:45:28,279
Speaker 3: have a crush.

947
00:45:27,960 --> 00:45:30,880
Speaker 2: On this straight woman who's married, Yeah, and being like

948
00:45:30,960 --> 00:45:35,719
Speaker 2: I should probably just go because that's gonna like torment me, Yeah,

949
00:45:36,120 --> 00:45:36,600
Speaker 2: haunt me.

950
00:45:36,719 --> 00:45:36,959
Speaker 3: Wow.

951
00:45:37,000 --> 00:45:39,680
Speaker 2: So so Janine got a happy ending too, Let's go,

952
00:45:39,800 --> 00:45:41,760
Speaker 2: Janine got everybody got.

953
00:45:41,560 --> 00:45:44,120
Speaker 3: The perfect ending in this story. That's amazing.

954
00:45:45,320 --> 00:45:47,480
Speaker 2: She also said that deep down she doesn't want to

955
00:45:47,520 --> 00:45:49,239
Speaker 2: go back to her ex, as there is a lot

956
00:45:49,280 --> 00:45:53,480
Speaker 2: of pain there. When Janine's dad died suddenly ka, her

957
00:45:53,480 --> 00:45:56,640
Speaker 2: ex wouldn't come to the UK to support her, which

958
00:45:56,680 --> 00:45:59,279
Speaker 2: she doesn't think she can forgive her for. She also

959
00:45:59,320 --> 00:46:02,000
Speaker 2: doesn't feel ready to leave her remaining family for a

960
00:46:02,040 --> 00:46:07,040
Speaker 2: long while. If ever, it was truly a beautiful, wonderful evening.

961
00:46:07,600 --> 00:46:09,640
Speaker 2: We basically sat up chatting for the rest of it,

962
00:46:09,920 --> 00:46:13,719
Speaker 2: which quite a few tears and lots of hugs. We

963
00:46:13,760 --> 00:46:17,200
Speaker 2: agreed to take things extra extra slow. This is super

964
00:46:17,280 --> 00:46:20,000
Speaker 2: new territory for me, and she respects I have a

965
00:46:20,040 --> 00:46:22,960
Speaker 2: lot going on, as does she. She is soon to

966
00:46:22,960 --> 00:46:25,000
Speaker 2: be leaving work as it's a temp job, but she

967
00:46:25,120 --> 00:46:27,719
Speaker 2: has something else lined up. She invited me for our

968
00:46:27,760 --> 00:46:32,640
Speaker 2: first proper date next week. I am so excited. We've

969
00:46:32,640 --> 00:46:37,080
Speaker 2: been messaging NonStop. I literally feel like a giddy teenager. Wow.

970
00:46:37,480 --> 00:46:40,520
Speaker 2: Once again, thank you Reddit for everything. The responses from

971
00:46:40,560 --> 00:46:44,080
Speaker 2: the posts gave me lot of the responses from the

972
00:46:44,120 --> 00:46:47,360
Speaker 2: posts gave me a lot of courage and so much help.

973
00:46:47,960 --> 00:46:51,040
Speaker 3: Thank you. And that is the end of that story.

974
00:46:51,239 --> 00:46:56,759
Speaker 2: Now, wow, that's crazy when your work bestie becomes your

975
00:46:56,840 --> 00:47:00,360
Speaker 2: work wife. Whoa, and you lose your lame hustle in

976
00:47:00,400 --> 00:47:01,680
Speaker 2: the process, so you can't.

977
00:47:01,520 --> 00:47:03,520
Speaker 3: Have a work wife actually become your wife.

978
00:47:03,680 --> 00:47:07,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, moral of the story, Wow, she became all That

979
00:47:07,719 --> 00:47:08,919
Speaker 2: is a lot for OP.

980
00:47:09,200 --> 00:47:11,120
Speaker 3: That is a lot for OP. That's gonna take a

981
00:47:11,120 --> 00:47:13,040
Speaker 3: lot of therapy. I'm already glad you're in therapy though.

982
00:47:13,120 --> 00:47:15,399
Speaker 2: Yeah, she was already in therapy the whole time. Yeah,

983
00:47:16,040 --> 00:47:17,799
Speaker 2: from the get go. I'm glad, dude. I don't have

984
00:47:17,800 --> 00:47:19,759
Speaker 2: anything else to say that that worked out great. I

985
00:47:19,800 --> 00:47:23,640
Speaker 2: would everything she did. Yeah, that's that's textbook right there.

986
00:47:23,960 --> 00:47:25,960
Speaker 2: That was one of the best endings I think I've

987
00:47:26,040 --> 00:47:27,239
Speaker 2: ever seen on the show.

988
00:47:27,400 --> 00:47:30,680
Speaker 3: So, how to leave your marriage for your work wife. Hey,

989
00:47:30,719 --> 00:47:31,799
Speaker 3: it's Sam, your og host.

990
00:47:31,840 --> 00:47:31,960
Speaker 2: Here.

991
00:47:31,960 --> 00:47:33,520
Speaker 1: We're gonna get back to the stories, but here's three

992
00:47:33,560 --> 00:47:35,160
Speaker 1: minutes VADs from our sponsors.

993
00:47:36,040 --> 00:47:39,720
Speaker 5: My boyfriend reconnected with a female friend. Now he won't

994
00:47:39,800 --> 00:47:40,960
Speaker 5: stop talking to her.

995
00:47:41,200 --> 00:47:43,799
Speaker 4: Suspicious, suspicious.

996
00:47:43,920 --> 00:47:47,279
Speaker 5: So I'm going to start off saying myself, female thirty two,

997
00:47:47,400 --> 00:47:50,279
Speaker 5: and my boyfriend male thirty two have been together.

998
00:47:50,000 --> 00:47:51,280
Speaker 2: For five years.

999
00:47:51,520 --> 00:47:55,920
Speaker 5: I am currently twenty nine weeks pregnant. FYI. Also, we

1000
00:47:56,040 --> 00:47:59,600
Speaker 5: both have always had opposite His friends are ninety percent

1001
00:47:59,640 --> 00:48:02,600
Speaker 5: female and mine are ninety percent mail. So I'm trying

1002
00:48:02,600 --> 00:48:05,680
Speaker 5: to figure out if I'm overthinking with my hormonal, pregnant brain.

1003
00:48:05,800 --> 00:48:08,520
Speaker 5: By the way, this comes from every Masterpiece thirty six

1004
00:48:08,560 --> 00:48:10,560
Speaker 5: on the r slash Okay storytime subreddit.

1005
00:48:10,680 --> 00:48:11,839
Speaker 2: So when I was twelve to.

1006
00:48:11,920 --> 00:48:15,560
Speaker 5: Fourteen weeks pregnant, my boyfriend Lewis was very attracted to

1007
00:48:15,640 --> 00:48:18,280
Speaker 5: my hip. This is his first kid in my second.

1008
00:48:18,360 --> 00:48:21,280
Speaker 5: He rarely made time for friends because I was pregnant

1009
00:48:21,280 --> 00:48:23,759
Speaker 5: and staying by my side. I expressed to Lewis I

1010
00:48:23,840 --> 00:48:25,920
Speaker 5: wanted him to go out with friends and enjoy the

1011
00:48:25,920 --> 00:48:28,439
Speaker 5: next five to six months because once the baby is born,

1012
00:48:28,640 --> 00:48:31,120
Speaker 5: we are going to have a lot on our plate,

1013
00:48:31,239 --> 00:48:32,920
Speaker 5: and he wouldn't be able to go out as much

1014
00:48:32,960 --> 00:48:35,160
Speaker 5: with our opposite schedules, so we don't have to pay

1015
00:48:35,360 --> 00:48:37,920
Speaker 5: for a daycare or babysitter. He kind of started to

1016
00:48:37,920 --> 00:48:40,840
Speaker 5: branch out to friends, but he was still very attentive

1017
00:48:40,880 --> 00:48:41,239
Speaker 5: at home.

1018
00:48:41,320 --> 00:48:41,840
Speaker 2: It's great.

1019
00:48:42,120 --> 00:48:45,560
Speaker 5: About three months ago, he mentioned he reconnected with a

1020
00:48:45,600 --> 00:48:49,120
Speaker 5: female friend named Brittany from high school. He told me

1021
00:48:49,280 --> 00:48:52,360
Speaker 5: all about her and mentioned himself, Brittany and one of

1022
00:48:52,360 --> 00:48:54,279
Speaker 5: his guy friends were going to go out to race

1023
00:48:54,360 --> 00:48:56,960
Speaker 5: tracks this coming weekend. I didn't think anything of it.

1024
00:48:57,040 --> 00:48:58,880
Speaker 5: I'm just glad he was making an effort to go

1025
00:48:58,920 --> 00:49:00,160
Speaker 5: with his friends during the night.

1026
00:49:00,320 --> 00:49:02,400
Speaker 2: He would text me off and on while I was

1027
00:49:02,440 --> 00:49:03,960
Speaker 2: at work. I work night shifts.

1028
00:49:04,040 --> 00:49:06,240
Speaker 5: I got home at midnight and he pulled in maybe

1029
00:49:06,280 --> 00:49:08,799
Speaker 5: five minutes before me. He had a blast, but said

1030
00:49:08,840 --> 00:49:10,920
Speaker 5: his guy friend canceled last minute, so it was just

1031
00:49:11,000 --> 00:49:11,600
Speaker 5: him and Brittany.

1032
00:49:11,640 --> 00:49:13,759
Speaker 2: That way, It didn't necessarily bother me.

1033
00:49:14,120 --> 00:49:16,160
Speaker 5: I just found it odd that he didn't say anything

1034
00:49:16,239 --> 00:49:18,239
Speaker 5: during the course of us texting throughout the night. I

1035
00:49:18,280 --> 00:49:20,279
Speaker 5: shrugged it off and let him tell me about the

1036
00:49:20,360 --> 00:49:22,960
Speaker 5: night he had. What they talked about her dating life. Yes,

1037
00:49:23,000 --> 00:49:25,920
Speaker 5: she is single, et cetera. Well, the next two months,

1038
00:49:25,960 --> 00:49:28,719
Speaker 5: he seemed to text her a lot throughout the day,

1039
00:49:28,800 --> 00:49:30,880
Speaker 5: when he would pick up his phone with a smile,

1040
00:49:31,040 --> 00:49:34,640
Speaker 5: texting almost like a love sick puppy. I figured, since

1041
00:49:34,680 --> 00:49:36,600
Speaker 5: I was pregnant, I would ignore the knots in my

1042
00:49:36,640 --> 00:49:38,680
Speaker 5: stomach because it was probably nothing.

1043
00:49:38,840 --> 00:49:41,319
Speaker 2: He never changed his routines as far as I know.

1044
00:49:41,600 --> 00:49:44,120
Speaker 5: They only hung out alone at that one time, but

1045
00:49:44,280 --> 00:49:45,360
Speaker 5: he talked about.

1046
00:49:45,120 --> 00:49:46,120
Speaker 2: Her a lot.

1047
00:49:46,360 --> 00:49:48,400
Speaker 5: We would be at the dinner table talking about a

1048
00:49:48,480 --> 00:49:51,440
Speaker 5: random subject with his sisters and casually would bring up

1049
00:49:51,480 --> 00:49:54,279
Speaker 5: what Britney thought in her opinions. His sister would look

1050
00:49:54,280 --> 00:49:56,560
Speaker 5: at him strangely and look back at me with the

1051
00:49:56,600 --> 00:49:59,120
Speaker 5: same look. I would shrug my shoulders because it's not

1052
00:49:59,200 --> 00:50:01,000
Speaker 5: my place to tell him who we can talk to.

1053
00:50:01,120 --> 00:50:03,600
Speaker 5: Even though it started to bother me more with how much.

1054
00:50:03,560 --> 00:50:04,359
Speaker 2: He talked about her.

1055
00:50:04,520 --> 00:50:07,839
Speaker 5: He mentioned how she is like me, a tomboy, and

1056
00:50:07,880 --> 00:50:10,480
Speaker 5: how we would get along. So after a month of

1057
00:50:10,520 --> 00:50:13,120
Speaker 5: them texting, he invited her over to dinner for us

1058
00:50:13,160 --> 00:50:15,880
Speaker 5: to meet. Lewis's sister also joined us for dinner. She

1059
00:50:15,960 --> 00:50:18,600
Speaker 5: seemed nice, asked about my pregnancy and my job, but

1060
00:50:18,760 --> 00:50:21,320
Speaker 5: other than small talk with me, She mostly.

1061
00:50:20,960 --> 00:50:22,680
Speaker 2: Talked to him the whole night.

1062
00:50:22,960 --> 00:50:26,200
Speaker 5: When I served dinner, about ten minutes into everyone eating,

1063
00:50:26,280 --> 00:50:28,920
Speaker 5: he leaned very close to her and said, is this

1064
00:50:29,040 --> 00:50:32,200
Speaker 5: better than the spicy sleep or what? I looked up

1065
00:50:32,280 --> 00:50:34,960
Speaker 5: from my plate and saw her looking at me with

1066
00:50:35,040 --> 00:50:39,160
Speaker 5: a blush and embarrassed face. One of Lewis's sister asked

1067
00:50:39,200 --> 00:50:41,800
Speaker 5: if he said spicy sleep or six?

1068
00:50:41,880 --> 00:50:45,120
Speaker 2: In a serious tone, is he better than six or what?

1069
00:50:45,320 --> 00:50:46,280
Speaker 2: That doesn't make sense?

1070
00:50:46,320 --> 00:50:48,600
Speaker 5: I think she was like she knew that he said

1071
00:50:48,600 --> 00:50:51,239
Speaker 5: spicy sleep. She usually, so, what did you say that?

1072
00:50:51,400 --> 00:50:52,040
Speaker 5: Or did you say this?

1073
00:50:52,200 --> 00:50:53,600
Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, what's six?

1074
00:50:53,920 --> 00:50:57,080
Speaker 5: He kind of moved away from Brittany and said six.

1075
00:50:57,160 --> 00:51:00,359
Speaker 5: That doesn't even make sense sense, that's stupid. It's better

1076
00:51:00,480 --> 00:51:01,000
Speaker 5: than six.

1077
00:51:01,360 --> 00:51:04,240
Speaker 2: He stayed quiet while we finished our meals.

1078
00:51:04,440 --> 00:51:06,719
Speaker 5: He also invited her to our baby shower a few

1079
00:51:06,760 --> 00:51:10,080
Speaker 5: weeks later, while she was dressed to the tens, makeup,

1080
00:51:10,160 --> 00:51:14,560
Speaker 5: short shorts, crop top and followed him everywhere. Not once

1081
00:51:14,760 --> 00:51:18,000
Speaker 5: did she talk to me, and his attention was completely

1082
00:51:18,040 --> 00:51:19,560
Speaker 5: on her the whole time.

1083
00:51:19,680 --> 00:51:21,160
Speaker 2: I felt very uncomfortable.

1084
00:51:21,239 --> 00:51:23,440
Speaker 5: Why I didn't speak up then, I just didn't want

1085
00:51:23,440 --> 00:51:25,280
Speaker 5: to seem overbearing or jealous.

1086
00:51:25,280 --> 00:51:26,840
Speaker 2: I guess so jump forward.

1087
00:51:26,960 --> 00:51:29,920
Speaker 5: He still was texting her every day and continued to

1088
00:51:29,920 --> 00:51:32,200
Speaker 5: talk about her a lot kind of guy she was

1089
00:51:32,239 --> 00:51:35,080
Speaker 5: looking for, and he was kind of putting himself into

1090
00:51:35,120 --> 00:51:38,120
Speaker 5: that category, which was pizzing me off. But two weeks ago,

1091
00:51:38,239 --> 00:51:40,440
Speaker 5: he asked how I would feel if he took a

1092
00:51:40,480 --> 00:51:45,040
Speaker 5: solo trip to Mexico with Brittany before the baby's born. No, no,

1093
00:51:45,640 --> 00:51:48,239
Speaker 5: you got a solo trip with a suspicious woman. No

1094
00:51:48,520 --> 00:51:50,960
Speaker 5: uh no, no no no, he said. He didn't want

1095
00:51:51,000 --> 00:51:52,040
Speaker 5: to get into trouble.

1096
00:51:51,760 --> 00:51:54,000
Speaker 2: With me, so he wanted to ask my opinion first.

1097
00:51:54,200 --> 00:51:57,840
Speaker 5: My answer was instantly absolutely not. He understood, but I

1098
00:51:57,840 --> 00:52:00,279
Speaker 5: could tell he was disappointed with my answer. I ended

1099
00:52:00,320 --> 00:52:03,680
Speaker 5: up leaving to sisters after this conversation and broke down

1100
00:52:03,719 --> 00:52:07,160
Speaker 5: to my sister. I told her everything above. She told

1101
00:52:07,160 --> 00:52:09,640
Speaker 5: me I needed to talk to him because I wasn't

1102
00:52:09,680 --> 00:52:12,080
Speaker 5: acting crazy about being jealous, and how a lot of

1103
00:52:12,120 --> 00:52:14,960
Speaker 5: these things are huge red flags that something could be

1104
00:52:15,040 --> 00:52:17,720
Speaker 5: going on that I'm not aware of. So the next

1105
00:52:17,800 --> 00:52:20,359
Speaker 5: day I sat him down and I told him I

1106
00:52:20,400 --> 00:52:23,280
Speaker 5: wasn't sure if these are my pregnancy hormones going crazy,

1107
00:52:23,360 --> 00:52:26,520
Speaker 5: but I'm feeling very uncomfortable with the kind of relationship

1108
00:52:26,520 --> 00:52:27,120
Speaker 5: he's having.

1109
00:52:26,920 --> 00:52:28,480
Speaker 2: With Brittany very understandable.

1110
00:52:28,520 --> 00:52:31,319
Speaker 5: He started by saying there was no relationship between them,

1111
00:52:31,360 --> 00:52:34,960
Speaker 5: so I backtracked and said friendship and explained what I

1112
00:52:35,080 --> 00:52:36,759
Speaker 5: was seeing on my side of things and how they

1113
00:52:36,760 --> 00:52:39,680
Speaker 5: were making me uncomfortable. He just shut down and looked

1114
00:52:39,719 --> 00:52:42,040
Speaker 5: like he was gonna cry at any second. When I

1115
00:52:42,040 --> 00:52:43,200
Speaker 5: finished my rant.

1116
00:52:43,080 --> 00:52:48,240
Speaker 2: Boh booooooo by it for one second, not one second.

1117
00:52:48,360 --> 00:52:50,600
Speaker 5: I also told him I wasn't going to ask him

1118
00:52:50,600 --> 00:52:52,640
Speaker 5: to stop talking to her or to try to control

1119
00:52:52,680 --> 00:52:54,640
Speaker 5: who he's friends with. He sat down next to me

1120
00:52:54,760 --> 00:52:57,640
Speaker 5: and was silent for a minute. Explained he felt nothing

1121
00:52:57,719 --> 00:52:59,680
Speaker 5: for her and he doesn't think Brittany would try to

1122
00:52:59,680 --> 00:53:02,280
Speaker 5: put her up between us, and how she is really

1123
00:53:02,560 --> 00:53:06,040
Speaker 5: just a good friend that pops up randomly and disappears again.

1124
00:53:06,120 --> 00:53:08,600
Speaker 5: I had nothing to say after that, because I felt

1125
00:53:08,640 --> 00:53:11,120
Speaker 5: like he was defending her and not putting my feelings

1126
00:53:11,239 --> 00:53:13,879
Speaker 5: or mind at ease. We sat there for another five

1127
00:53:13,920 --> 00:53:17,080
Speaker 5: minutes in silence. He got up, gave me a long hug,

1128
00:53:17,200 --> 00:53:18,000
Speaker 5: and wrote my back.

1129
00:53:18,040 --> 00:53:19,040
Speaker 2: Conversation ended.

1130
00:53:19,120 --> 00:53:22,000
Speaker 5: I don't think anything was resolved besides or getting it

1131
00:53:22,040 --> 00:53:23,840
Speaker 5: off my chest about how I was feeling.

1132
00:53:23,880 --> 00:53:25,600
Speaker 2: By the way, if you ever want to put your.

1133
00:53:25,480 --> 00:53:27,400
Speaker 5: Mind at ease, you could just join us live on

1134
00:53:27,440 --> 00:53:29,760
Speaker 5: YouTube every weekday at three pm PSD.

1135
00:53:30,000 --> 00:53:31,719
Speaker 2: Just tap our profile.

1136
00:53:31,320 --> 00:53:34,399
Speaker 5: That but there's there's another update. But what are we

1137
00:53:34,480 --> 00:53:36,279
Speaker 5: thinking so far?

1138
00:53:36,480 --> 00:53:36,640
Speaker 4: Man?

1139
00:53:36,640 --> 00:53:37,120
Speaker 2: Oh Man?

1140
00:53:37,239 --> 00:53:41,160
Speaker 4: I mean, I don't think he's necessarily like cheating or anything.

1141
00:53:41,480 --> 00:53:41,560
Speaker 2: No.

1142
00:53:41,719 --> 00:53:43,800
Speaker 4: I think maybe if she wants to bring it up again,

1143
00:53:43,960 --> 00:53:45,839
Speaker 4: or she could have said it something along the lines

1144
00:53:45,880 --> 00:53:49,120
Speaker 4: of like, hey, it seems like you're kind of prioritizing

1145
00:53:49,200 --> 00:53:52,680
Speaker 4: this one friend over me. So it's not like necessarily

1146
00:53:52,680 --> 00:53:56,879
Speaker 4: blaming him, right without any like proof, right, but it's

1147
00:53:56,880 --> 00:53:58,200
Speaker 4: still bringing up her concerns.

1148
00:53:58,320 --> 00:54:02,000
Speaker 5: Yeah, and maybe like putting our concerns like with her specifically, yeah,

1149
00:54:02,040 --> 00:54:04,560
Speaker 5: not just with how he's acting.

1150
00:54:04,640 --> 00:54:06,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, als, wow, she's acting.

1151
00:54:06,160 --> 00:54:09,520
Speaker 5: Exactly a week after our talk, he mentioned how she

1152
00:54:09,680 --> 00:54:11,120
Speaker 5: reached out asking why.

1153
00:54:10,960 --> 00:54:12,040
Speaker 2: He has been distant with her.

1154
00:54:12,120 --> 00:54:15,000
Speaker 5: He made up some BS excuse and left it at that.

1155
00:54:15,200 --> 00:54:17,200
Speaker 5: But two nights ago, so about a week and a

1156
00:54:17,239 --> 00:54:20,120
Speaker 5: half after the distance talk, he said he was talking

1157
00:54:20,120 --> 00:54:23,120
Speaker 5: to her again, and I appreciated him being open and honest,

1158
00:54:23,200 --> 00:54:25,879
Speaker 5: but he explained he wanted me to give her one

1159
00:54:25,920 --> 00:54:27,960
Speaker 5: more chance and invite her to the house for us

1160
00:54:27,960 --> 00:54:30,640
Speaker 5: to all hang out again. I told Louis I needed

1161
00:54:30,640 --> 00:54:32,239
Speaker 5: time to think about it. I'm not sure how I

1162
00:54:32,239 --> 00:54:34,080
Speaker 5: feel about this or if it's a good idea, So

1163
00:54:34,480 --> 00:54:37,000
Speaker 5: I'm asking Reddit if this is something I need to

1164
00:54:37,000 --> 00:54:38,960
Speaker 5: worry about, or if I should give his friend a

1165
00:54:39,000 --> 00:54:41,840
Speaker 5: shot at being around again. I feel so on the

1166
00:54:41,840 --> 00:54:43,880
Speaker 5: fence about it, because on my side of things, it

1167
00:54:43,960 --> 00:54:47,120
Speaker 5: looks fishy and borderline an emotional affair that could start.

1168
00:54:47,239 --> 00:54:49,799
Speaker 5: So am I the ale and that's the end of

1169
00:54:49,800 --> 00:54:50,600
Speaker 5: that story?

1170
00:54:50,680 --> 00:54:52,200
Speaker 2: What do we think? I don't think so.

1171
00:54:52,800 --> 00:54:56,319
Speaker 4: I think. I mean, sure it could be an overreaction,

1172
00:54:56,600 --> 00:55:00,000
Speaker 4: but I also think that regardless of whether anything's actually happened,

1173
00:55:00,280 --> 00:55:02,399
Speaker 4: he's still like pushing boundaries.

1174
00:55:02,800 --> 00:55:06,640
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, I totally agree. I think just have a

1175
00:55:06,640 --> 00:55:09,000
Speaker 5: good talk about it again. I do like that he

1176
00:55:09,280 --> 00:55:11,360
Speaker 5: wants them all to hang out. Yeah, I think that

1177
00:55:11,400 --> 00:55:14,120
Speaker 5: could help. That could definitely help so she can get

1178
00:55:14,160 --> 00:55:16,800
Speaker 5: to know Britney Moore, because it would be way worse.

1179
00:55:16,600 --> 00:55:18,359
Speaker 2: If he's like, can I can I just like see

1180
00:55:18,400 --> 00:55:20,960
Speaker 2: her alone again? Just let me keep let me just

1181
00:55:21,000 --> 00:55:22,640
Speaker 2: go on that trip. I'll prove it to you.

1182
00:55:22,719 --> 00:55:25,319
Speaker 4: Nothing will happen, right, even though you will be able

1183
00:55:25,360 --> 00:55:28,600
Speaker 4: to can't come but I brought like, yeah, we'll get

1184
00:55:28,600 --> 00:55:32,240
Speaker 4: one of those little baby cans, right, you just fine.

1185
00:55:33,320 --> 00:55:35,920
Speaker 4: She just don't worry about it. Right, it's gonna be

1186
00:55:35,960 --> 00:55:39,680
Speaker 4: turned off for a couple hours. Don't worry worry about that.

1187
00:55:39,840 --> 00:55:42,320
Speaker 2: It just means we're at the beach. Right. You're definitely

1188
00:55:42,360 --> 00:55:45,399
Speaker 2: not the a hole. This is definitely valid, especially since

1189
00:55:45,400 --> 00:55:46,279
Speaker 2: you're pregnant too.

1190
00:55:47,520 --> 00:55:51,480
Speaker 4: My boyfriend's female friend hates me because I asked him

1191
00:55:51,480 --> 00:55:53,400
Speaker 4: not to sleep in a bed with another woman.

1192
00:55:53,640 --> 00:55:58,440
Speaker 5: Ah, She's like, why you spoiling a five party pooper?

1193
00:55:59,120 --> 00:55:59,279
Speaker 2: Hi?

1194
00:55:59,360 --> 00:56:01,920
Speaker 4: Everyone, My boyfriend has a big group of friends with

1195
00:56:02,080 --> 00:56:05,239
Speaker 4: lots of girls in it. A lot of times after

1196
00:56:05,239 --> 00:56:07,080
Speaker 4: they go out or have too much to drink, they'll

1197
00:56:07,080 --> 00:56:09,319
Speaker 4: crash at someone's house. By the way, this comes from

1198
00:56:09,400 --> 00:56:12,279
Speaker 4: Lost Strawberry on the Okay storyteme Zebbard. It so one

1199
00:56:12,360 --> 00:56:14,400
Speaker 4: night he came home and shared he slept in a

1200
00:56:14,480 --> 00:56:17,000
Speaker 4: bed with this girl who the texts are from. We

1201
00:56:17,080 --> 00:56:18,920
Speaker 4: did not have a fight at all. I know he's

1202
00:56:18,960 --> 00:56:19,719
Speaker 4: grown up doing this.

1203
00:56:19,880 --> 00:56:21,960
Speaker 2: I told him I wasn't super comfortable with that and

1204
00:56:22,000 --> 00:56:23,719
Speaker 2: asked if he could not do that, to which he

1205
00:56:23,760 --> 00:56:26,640
Speaker 2: did not argue at all and expressed total respect. For

1206
00:56:26,760 --> 00:56:27,280
Speaker 2: my boundary.

1207
00:56:27,320 --> 00:56:29,759
Speaker 4: We have not spoken about it since she texted me

1208
00:56:29,840 --> 00:56:32,160
Speaker 4: the morning after they went out. Which are these pictures?

1209
00:56:32,280 --> 00:56:35,839
Speaker 4: Am I overreacting by telling her she's overstepping or are

1210
00:56:35,880 --> 00:56:40,320
Speaker 4: her concerns valid? Transcript of the text messages of the women. Hi, Opie,

1211
00:56:40,719 --> 00:56:43,439
Speaker 4: So last night, when your boyfriend and I went out,

1212
00:56:43,560 --> 00:56:46,399
Speaker 4: we three and all went back to redacted and your

1213
00:56:46,440 --> 00:56:48,160
Speaker 4: boyfriend and I were going to take the pull out

1214
00:56:48,200 --> 00:56:50,200
Speaker 4: couch and he let me know you were not comfortable

1215
00:56:50,239 --> 00:56:51,920
Speaker 4: with him sleeping in a ed with me.

1216
00:56:52,160 --> 00:56:54,120
Speaker 2: Well, I totally understand. I want to let you know

1217
00:56:54,200 --> 00:56:57,399
Speaker 2: I've never tried anything with your boyfriend and would never

1218
00:56:57,520 --> 00:56:59,000
Speaker 2: I felt bad that he had to sleep on the

1219
00:56:59,040 --> 00:57:01,080
Speaker 2: floor and it just didn't seems fair to him. I

1220
00:57:01,400 --> 00:57:04,400
Speaker 2: promise there's nothing nefarious about us sleeping in a bed together.

1221
00:57:04,480 --> 00:57:06,240
Speaker 2: We've been friends for sixteen years.

1222
00:57:06,520 --> 00:57:09,440
Speaker 4: And then Opie responded, Hey, redacted, I know nothing has

1223
00:57:09,440 --> 00:57:12,000
Speaker 4: ever happened between you two. Don't worry for me, it's

1224
00:57:12,080 --> 00:57:13,960
Speaker 4: just a matter of what I feel is appropriate in

1225
00:57:14,000 --> 00:57:15,319
Speaker 4: my personal relationships.

1226
00:57:15,360 --> 00:57:16,080
Speaker 2: I trust him.

1227
00:57:16,000 --> 00:57:18,040
Speaker 4: Fully, but for me, I'm just not comfortable with him

1228
00:57:18,040 --> 00:57:20,240
Speaker 4: sharing a bed with another woman, even if he's known

1229
00:57:20,280 --> 00:57:22,320
Speaker 4: her for a while it doesn't speak to either of

1230
00:57:22,360 --> 00:57:25,600
Speaker 4: you in terms of trustworthiness, it's just my boundary. Other woman,

1231
00:57:25,800 --> 00:57:27,440
Speaker 4: Oh right, but he had to sleep.

1232
00:57:27,240 --> 00:57:27,880
Speaker 2: On the ground.

1233
00:57:28,040 --> 00:57:30,720
Speaker 4: That doesn't seem fair, and he has back problems, so

1234
00:57:30,760 --> 00:57:33,320
Speaker 4: I'm sure he wasn't happy about it either, Opie. If

1235
00:57:33,360 --> 00:57:35,280
Speaker 4: it was a problem for him, he could have called

1236
00:57:35,320 --> 00:57:37,320
Speaker 4: me to pick him up or ubert home or talk

1237
00:57:37,400 --> 00:57:38,960
Speaker 4: to me about it. He hasn't mentioned it to me.

1238
00:57:39,120 --> 00:57:41,960
Speaker 4: Other Woman, Okay, Well, if I'm just being super transparent,

1239
00:57:42,040 --> 00:57:44,680
Speaker 4: it just feels like it's really over the top possessiveness

1240
00:57:44,720 --> 00:57:46,600
Speaker 4: and it's not a good look for either of you.

1241
00:57:46,600 --> 00:57:48,880
Speaker 4: You can't trust him to sleep in a bed with

1242
00:57:48,960 --> 00:57:51,600
Speaker 4: his girlfriends, and seeing him sleep on the floor makes

1243
00:57:51,640 --> 00:57:53,600
Speaker 4: me sad for him. I really like you and the

1244
00:57:53,600 --> 00:57:55,520
Speaker 4: two of you together, but I know him very well

1245
00:57:55,560 --> 00:57:57,000
Speaker 4: and just wanted to give you an idea of how

1246
00:57:57,040 --> 00:58:01,120
Speaker 4: this might be affecting him slash those around him. Opie redacted, Well,

1247
00:58:01,200 --> 00:58:04,120
Speaker 4: I appreciate how much you care for my boyfriend. Honestly,

1248
00:58:04,160 --> 00:58:06,680
Speaker 4: I feel like you're overstepping This is not your business,

1249
00:58:06,720 --> 00:58:09,000
Speaker 4: and I find it's strange for being a little insistent

1250
00:58:09,080 --> 00:58:11,120
Speaker 4: on demanding he's sleep in a bed with you. He

1251
00:58:11,200 --> 00:58:13,960
Speaker 4: agreed to this boundary wholeheartedly, and that's all you need

1252
00:58:14,000 --> 00:58:16,280
Speaker 4: to know about. It's my relationship, and he knows he

1253
00:58:16,280 --> 00:58:17,760
Speaker 4: can come to me if he has a problem with it.

1254
00:58:17,960 --> 00:58:21,760
Speaker 4: I'm done talking about this with you. Other woman thumbs up.

1255
00:58:22,320 --> 00:58:22,640
Speaker 2: Damn.

1256
00:58:22,640 --> 00:58:25,200
Speaker 4: And there is an update. She's like, he really needs

1257
00:58:25,240 --> 00:58:27,440
Speaker 4: to sleep in a bed with me. Yeah, there's no

1258
00:58:27,520 --> 00:58:30,360
Speaker 4: other solution. It's either he sleeps on the floor, right,

1259
00:58:30,400 --> 00:58:32,200
Speaker 4: he sleeps in a bed with me. Those are the

1260
00:58:32,240 --> 00:58:33,040
Speaker 4: two solutions.

1261
00:58:33,280 --> 00:58:35,920
Speaker 5: The first text, Yeah, I kind of get like just

1262
00:58:36,000 --> 00:58:38,240
Speaker 5: being like, hey, by the way, just in case there.

1263
00:58:38,120 --> 00:58:38,840
Speaker 2: Are any worries.

1264
00:58:38,920 --> 00:58:42,480
Speaker 5: Yeah, you know, nothing happen, You work good, like known forever,

1265
00:58:42,760 --> 00:58:43,520
Speaker 5: you don't have to worry.

1266
00:58:43,560 --> 00:58:44,240
Speaker 3: But the fact that.

1267
00:58:44,160 --> 00:58:46,720
Speaker 2: She's like being so insistent about this.

1268
00:58:46,680 --> 00:58:48,600
Speaker 4: Is like very Yes, she's like, no, he needs to

1269
00:58:48,600 --> 00:58:50,960
Speaker 4: sleep in a bed with me, and it's your problem.

1270
00:58:51,080 --> 00:58:54,400
Speaker 2: Actually, his poor back, he can't sleep on the floor. Yeah,

1271
00:58:54,480 --> 00:58:56,240
Speaker 2: even though he did not have a problem with it.

1272
00:58:56,240 --> 00:58:57,920
Speaker 4: In my crazier is that it isn't that supposed to

1273
00:58:57,920 --> 00:58:59,760
Speaker 4: be better for your back when you're on like a hard service.

1274
00:59:00,000 --> 00:59:00,880
Speaker 3: That's what I was thinking too.

1275
00:59:01,320 --> 00:59:02,520
Speaker 2: So she's a liar.

1276
00:59:03,120 --> 00:59:05,720
Speaker 4: Yeah, so I showed him the text, and he literally

1277
00:59:05,720 --> 00:59:08,040
Speaker 4: could not believe it at first. I have never seen

1278
00:59:08,120 --> 00:59:10,360
Speaker 4: him get mad, but his face got red and he

1279
00:59:10,480 --> 00:59:12,600
Speaker 4: was really quiet for a moment. He said he was

1280
00:59:12,760 --> 00:59:15,520
Speaker 4: mortified by her behavior towards me. He hasked a million

1281
00:59:15,600 --> 00:59:17,640
Speaker 4: times if I was okay, Iliel.

1282
00:59:17,360 --> 00:59:17,640
Speaker 2: He said.

1283
00:59:17,680 --> 00:59:19,840
Speaker 4: She argued with him about it at the time because

1284
00:59:19,840 --> 00:59:21,320
Speaker 4: it's never been an issue, and he.

1285
00:59:21,360 --> 00:59:22,160
Speaker 2: Just brushed her off.

1286
00:59:22,240 --> 00:59:24,640
Speaker 4: I asked what exactly he said to her, and his

1287
00:59:24,760 --> 00:59:27,040
Speaker 4: words were, I said, it makes you uncomfortable, and I

1288
00:59:27,040 --> 00:59:27,720
Speaker 4: want to respect that.

1289
00:59:27,880 --> 00:59:29,280
Speaker 3: I'm cool with that response to her.

1290
00:59:29,320 --> 00:59:32,000
Speaker 4: Personally, he called her immediately and told her she crossed

1291
00:59:32,000 --> 00:59:34,480
Speaker 4: a line and needed to apologize to me that her

1292
00:59:34,520 --> 00:59:37,760
Speaker 4: behavior makes it seem like she's trying to sabotage his relationship.

1293
00:59:37,800 --> 00:59:39,520
Speaker 4: And then he was honest with her that most of

1294
00:59:39,560 --> 00:59:41,240
Speaker 4: the friend's girlfriends don't like her.

1295
00:59:41,440 --> 00:59:47,040
Speaker 2: Damn, whoa, he went. He went a step further. He said,

1296
00:59:47,080 --> 00:59:48,160
Speaker 2: actually everyone hates you.

1297
00:59:48,240 --> 00:59:51,160
Speaker 4: Yeah, sorry, and she needs to reevaluate how she's making

1298
00:59:51,160 --> 00:59:54,320
Speaker 4: people feel. I was surprised by this because he's typically

1299
00:59:54,360 --> 00:59:57,320
Speaker 4: not confrontational like that. I didn't hear her responses. She

1300
00:59:57,480 --> 00:59:59,440
Speaker 4: was not on speaker. They spoke about it for like

1301
00:59:59,520 --> 01:00:02,200
Speaker 4: five minutes. It wasn't the blow up some of you wanted.

1302
01:00:02,440 --> 01:00:05,000
Speaker 4: He was clearly not happy though. My favorite thing he

1303
01:00:05,040 --> 01:00:07,840
Speaker 4: said was you're doing a great job of pushing people away.

1304
01:00:08,040 --> 01:00:10,000
Speaker 2: No one wants the drama. He told her, what's most

1305
01:00:10,040 --> 01:00:12,440
Speaker 2: important is that she apologizes to me, and then he

1306
01:00:12,520 --> 01:00:12,960
Speaker 2: hung up.

1307
01:00:13,080 --> 01:00:13,720
Speaker 3: That was it.

1308
01:00:13,800 --> 01:00:16,560
Speaker 4: I have not received a tax from her yet. I'm

1309
01:00:16,600 --> 01:00:18,840
Speaker 4: not sure what he's going to do regarding their friendship,

1310
01:00:18,920 --> 01:00:21,760
Speaker 4: but it's surely very damaged now. There's no doubt she

1311
01:00:21,840 --> 01:00:23,640
Speaker 4: will be out and about about the whole group at

1312
01:00:23,720 --> 01:00:26,560
Speaker 4: various points. I'm really not threatened by her. I can

1313
01:00:26,600 --> 01:00:28,760
Speaker 4: deal with a crazy woman and trust him enough to

1314
01:00:28,800 --> 01:00:31,280
Speaker 4: deal with her as well. She doesn't hold any sway

1315
01:00:31,320 --> 01:00:34,320
Speaker 4: over him. So that's all I have for you guys. Sorry,

1316
01:00:34,480 --> 01:00:37,000
Speaker 4: if you're interested. I'm answering a few questions that were

1317
01:00:37,000 --> 01:00:39,040
Speaker 4: asked a lot in the original post. A couple of

1318
01:00:39,080 --> 01:00:40,720
Speaker 4: things to clear up now that I've spoken to him

1319
01:00:40,720 --> 01:00:43,120
Speaker 4: about He took the cushions from the couch, which is

1320
01:00:43,120 --> 01:00:45,200
Speaker 4: where the pullout bed is, and made himself a bed

1321
01:00:45,280 --> 01:00:48,120
Speaker 4: on the ground. Dude had a comforter and pillows in everything.

1322
01:00:48,320 --> 01:00:50,520
Speaker 4: This is hilarious to me because why was she so

1323
01:00:50,600 --> 01:00:52,760
Speaker 4: concerned about his back then? But I bet that crap

1324
01:00:52,920 --> 01:00:55,560
Speaker 4: was more comfortable than the pullout couch. It's also worth

1325
01:00:55,600 --> 01:00:57,560
Speaker 4: noting he's the kind of guy that could fall asleep

1326
01:00:57,600 --> 01:01:00,960
Speaker 4: doing a handstand. He can literally sleep anyone anytime. He

1327
01:01:01,080 --> 01:01:04,160
Speaker 4: doesn't have back problems. He twinged something in his back

1328
01:01:04,200 --> 01:01:05,320
Speaker 4: at the gym last week.

1329
01:01:05,160 --> 01:01:06,320
Speaker 2: And it'll clear up soon.

1330
01:01:06,400 --> 01:01:08,280
Speaker 4: I don't know what she's on about with that, which

1331
01:01:08,320 --> 01:01:10,680
Speaker 4: I should have specified in my original post. I don't

1332
01:01:10,720 --> 01:01:13,040
Speaker 4: want to get defensive, but I want to clarify. I

1333
01:01:13,080 --> 01:01:15,280
Speaker 4: didn't demand he doesn't sleep in a bed with women.

1334
01:01:15,360 --> 01:01:17,600
Speaker 4: I asked him about it. He agreed because it's not

1335
01:01:17,680 --> 01:01:20,520
Speaker 4: a necessary activity in his life, Illel. It's an easy

1336
01:01:20,560 --> 01:01:22,360
Speaker 4: one for him to cut out. His words are that

1337
01:01:22,400 --> 01:01:24,720
Speaker 4: he literally has no problem not sleeping in a bed

1338
01:01:24,720 --> 01:01:27,760
Speaker 4: with the girls. We're very open and if something arises

1339
01:01:27,800 --> 01:01:30,760
Speaker 4: where that's the only option, I'm fine with that. There

1340
01:01:30,800 --> 01:01:33,040
Speaker 4: was a lot of debate about this rule I set,

1341
01:01:33,120 --> 01:01:35,720
Speaker 4: and it was interesting to read how differently everyone feels

1342
01:01:35,720 --> 01:01:37,600
Speaker 4: about it. It's not that I don't trust him, it's

1343
01:01:37,640 --> 01:01:40,280
Speaker 4: that I find sleeping next to someone to be very intimate.

1344
01:01:40,400 --> 01:01:42,640
Speaker 4: I think it's an important part of a relationship to

1345
01:01:42,680 --> 01:01:45,480
Speaker 4: be unconscious next to each other. Well, I'll often wake

1346
01:01:45,560 --> 01:01:47,840
Speaker 4: up kind of intertwined with him, and in my opinion,

1347
01:01:47,960 --> 01:01:50,360
Speaker 4: it's too intimate a thing to be doing with other women.

1348
01:01:50,440 --> 01:01:52,840
Speaker 4: Some other examples of this could be you get hurt

1349
01:01:52,920 --> 01:01:55,040
Speaker 4: if your partner always goes to their friend for advice

1350
01:01:55,120 --> 01:01:57,240
Speaker 4: before you, or if they go out to a romantic

1351
01:01:57,280 --> 01:02:01,440
Speaker 4: restaurant together. It's not spicy sleep stuff, but maybe crosses.

1352
01:02:01,040 --> 01:02:02,240
Speaker 2: A line in intimacy.

1353
01:02:02,280 --> 01:02:05,440
Speaker 4: And by the way, you can cross lines with intimacy with.

1354
01:02:05,520 --> 01:02:08,200
Speaker 2: Us if you join us every week to an through

1355
01:02:08,200 --> 01:02:10,120
Speaker 2: PMPs too. You just have her brobo and there is

1356
01:02:10,160 --> 01:02:12,320
Speaker 2: a little bit left. What are your thoughts. I think

1357
01:02:12,360 --> 01:02:13,439
Speaker 2: Opie's being so chill.

1358
01:02:13,520 --> 01:02:17,880
Speaker 4: I think he's so open and like very clear about

1359
01:02:17,920 --> 01:02:18,800
Speaker 4: her boundaries.

1360
01:02:18,960 --> 01:02:21,280
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's great, and they seem to have a very

1361
01:02:21,320 --> 01:02:24,000
Speaker 5: healthy relationship and communication style.

1362
01:02:24,040 --> 01:02:24,680
Speaker 2: With all this, it.

1363
01:02:24,600 --> 01:02:27,560
Speaker 4: Seems like nothing is wrong with their relationship, not at all.

1364
01:02:27,680 --> 01:02:30,680
Speaker 4: It's just this girl, right, so no one likes anyways.

1365
01:02:30,680 --> 01:02:33,440
Speaker 4: So yeah, I guess so you're doing fine. Opis solution.

1366
01:02:33,600 --> 01:02:34,720
Speaker 4: This girl's crazy.

1367
01:02:34,880 --> 01:02:35,680
Speaker 2: I also don't want.

1368
01:02:35,560 --> 01:02:37,560
Speaker 4: To share too much about her because I don't want

1369
01:02:37,600 --> 01:02:40,520
Speaker 4: to dox everyone, but she's known to be extremely jealous

1370
01:02:40,600 --> 01:02:42,840
Speaker 4: as all of the friends are starting to settle down

1371
01:02:42,920 --> 01:02:45,760
Speaker 4: with their partners. I'm not shocked that this happened. I

1372
01:02:45,760 --> 01:02:47,880
Speaker 4: will not be showing him or her this thread.

1373
01:02:48,120 --> 01:02:50,640
Speaker 2: Sorry, and that's it. That's it.

1374
01:02:50,960 --> 01:02:53,480
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think it's I think it's all solved. I

1375
01:02:53,600 --> 01:02:55,920
Speaker 4: think I don't think there's any issues here except for her.

1376
01:02:56,160 --> 01:02:58,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, she probably has some issues with it still, but

1377
01:02:59,320 --> 01:03:03,360
Speaker 2: oh well, hands yeahhhh, wipe your hands of her.

1378
01:03:03,640 --> 01:03:03,840
Speaker 4: Right.

1379
01:03:04,600 --> 01:03:07,080
Speaker 2: But that's the end of that story, So we'll see

1380
01:03:07,080 --> 01:03:07,880
Speaker 2: you next time.

1381
01:03:09,520 --> 01:03:12,120
Speaker 5: My boyfriend is using his best friend to make me

1382
01:03:12,280 --> 01:03:14,800
Speaker 5: jealous just because he likes attention.

1383
01:03:15,720 --> 01:03:16,320
Speaker 2: Stop it.

1384
01:03:16,560 --> 01:03:19,400
Speaker 5: I twenty two female was always a really chill person.

1385
01:03:19,480 --> 01:03:22,240
Speaker 5: I've always gone along with everyone and I really appreciate

1386
01:03:22,280 --> 01:03:25,200
Speaker 5: my mental peace. I hate a necessary drama. By the way,

1387
01:03:25,240 --> 01:03:29,360
Speaker 5: this comes from delete Nittica on the r slash Okay storytime, supreadit.

1388
01:03:29,520 --> 01:03:32,480
Speaker 5: So I've been dating Zach for three years. He's always

1389
01:03:32,480 --> 01:03:35,560
Speaker 5: had his best friend, Mia, who was studying in another country.

1390
01:03:35,680 --> 01:03:38,080
Speaker 2: They always talked via text or video call.

1391
01:03:38,200 --> 01:03:40,760
Speaker 5: That never interested me at all because I also have

1392
01:03:40,840 --> 01:03:44,280
Speaker 5: male friends. Mia was always disinterested when Zach was by

1393
01:03:44,320 --> 01:03:47,040
Speaker 5: my side on his video calls, and I wasn't interested

1394
01:03:47,080 --> 01:03:49,600
Speaker 5: in her either, to be honest, but Zach wanted us

1395
01:03:49,640 --> 01:03:51,840
Speaker 5: to be friends, so I tried. Mia listens to the

1396
01:03:51,840 --> 01:03:54,680
Speaker 5: same music as me, so one time three years ago,

1397
01:03:54,720 --> 01:03:56,960
Speaker 5: I texted her on WhatsApp to try to have a

1398
01:03:57,000 --> 01:03:59,760
Speaker 5: friendly conversation, but she saw the messages and never.

1399
01:03:59,600 --> 01:04:01,400
Speaker 2: Answered me and blocked my number.

1400
01:04:01,720 --> 01:04:04,840
Speaker 5: Dou Apparently, Zach told her that I was the one

1401
01:04:04,840 --> 01:04:07,360
Speaker 5: who refused to let her be with us, because Mia

1402
01:04:07,560 --> 01:04:11,120
Speaker 5: has been doing everything to criticize me since that day.

1403
01:04:11,320 --> 01:04:15,240
Speaker 5: She has criticized my work, my studies, my hair, my clothes,

1404
01:04:15,480 --> 01:04:19,200
Speaker 5: et cetera. Zach always says, that's how Mia is, and

1405
01:04:19,240 --> 01:04:21,040
Speaker 5: I should be your friend because she's really funny.

1406
01:04:21,080 --> 01:04:21,440
Speaker 2: Ha huh.

1407
01:04:21,560 --> 01:04:24,000
Speaker 5: Many times she tried to make me jealous with comments

1408
01:04:24,040 --> 01:04:25,800
Speaker 5: like you know that I used to take bats with

1409
01:04:25,920 --> 01:04:30,000
Speaker 5: Zach when we were little kids, okay, and she would

1410
01:04:30,000 --> 01:04:32,400
Speaker 5: get upset when I just said all right at those

1411
01:04:32,560 --> 01:04:36,120
Speaker 5: random comments, because the heck, why would I be jealous

1412
01:04:36,120 --> 01:04:39,160
Speaker 5: of that. She sits on Zach's lap. He doesn't say

1413
01:04:39,200 --> 01:04:41,280
Speaker 5: anything to her about that. Yeah, if he knows I

1414
01:04:41,320 --> 01:04:44,240
Speaker 5: don't like it, okay. He cuddled with her every time

1415
01:04:44,280 --> 01:04:46,600
Speaker 5: they have a chance, and they whisper to each other

1416
01:04:46,680 --> 01:04:49,560
Speaker 5: and go out together sometimes, and I obviously can't help

1417
01:04:49,600 --> 01:04:51,600
Speaker 5: but think that in any moment, I will come back

1418
01:04:51,600 --> 01:04:53,320
Speaker 5: to the apartment and she will be wearing one of

1419
01:04:53,320 --> 01:04:55,560
Speaker 5: his shirts, and I don't want to deal with that TV.

1420
01:04:56,280 --> 01:05:00,320
Speaker 5: The worst thing is that Zach really seems to like

1421
01:05:00,400 --> 01:05:03,640
Speaker 5: seeing me jealous. When I tell him something is bothering me,

1422
01:05:03,800 --> 01:05:07,120
Speaker 5: he laughs and says, oh, you're jelly and stuff like

1423
01:05:07,160 --> 01:05:10,240
Speaker 5: that without taking me seriously. It's pretty annoying to know

1424
01:05:10,360 --> 01:05:12,440
Speaker 5: that he likes me to feel that way. And Mia

1425
01:05:12,560 --> 01:05:16,760
Speaker 5: has been really irritable lately, like if she's competing with me,

1426
01:05:16,920 --> 01:05:19,600
Speaker 5: it feels like they're trying to make a novella with me.

1427
01:05:19,760 --> 01:05:22,360
Speaker 5: She always tries to make me jealous with stupid things,

1428
01:05:22,400 --> 01:05:24,960
Speaker 5: like when she said she knows Zach's favorite sushi and

1429
01:05:25,040 --> 01:05:27,480
Speaker 5: I don't, which I replied, then buy sushi for.

1430
01:05:27,440 --> 01:05:29,240
Speaker 2: Everyone because I don't care at all.

1431
01:05:29,440 --> 01:05:32,160
Speaker 5: I've told Zach on several occasions that his friend is

1432
01:05:32,200 --> 01:05:34,680
Speaker 5: an idiot, and he just says Mia is like that,

1433
01:05:34,880 --> 01:05:37,080
Speaker 5: and he says that I should just ignore her comments,

1434
01:05:37,120 --> 01:05:39,240
Speaker 5: But honestly, I don't have the energy to deal with

1435
01:05:39,240 --> 01:05:39,640
Speaker 5: that girl.

1436
01:05:39,800 --> 01:05:41,760
Speaker 2: And not beat her up at the end of the month.

1437
01:05:41,840 --> 01:05:44,280
Speaker 5: So I told Zack, I'm going to move out and

1438
01:05:44,280 --> 01:05:46,000
Speaker 5: it's better to give ourselves some time.

1439
01:05:46,120 --> 01:05:48,640
Speaker 2: That's a big step. That's esa I haven't moved yet.

1440
01:05:48,720 --> 01:05:50,480
Speaker 5: So he's been coming to my room to tell me

1441
01:05:50,560 --> 01:05:53,600
Speaker 5: that I'm letting my insecurity speak for me and he

1442
01:05:53,640 --> 01:05:56,600
Speaker 5: doesn't feel anything for me. I told him that I'm

1443
01:05:56,640 --> 01:05:59,040
Speaker 5: not insecure. I just want to protect my mental piece

1444
01:05:59,040 --> 01:06:02,560
Speaker 5: and avoid draw So he got angry, saying I should

1445
01:06:02,560 --> 01:06:05,120
Speaker 5: fight for him and not be so apathetic. He said

1446
01:06:05,160 --> 01:06:07,320
Speaker 5: that if I love him, I would be fighting for him.

1447
01:06:07,320 --> 01:06:09,560
Speaker 5: But I've always had the philosophy that if someone wants

1448
01:06:09,560 --> 01:06:11,320
Speaker 5: to cheat on you, they will do it even if

1449
01:06:11,360 --> 01:06:11,880
Speaker 5: you say no.

1450
01:06:12,120 --> 01:06:14,440
Speaker 4: The thing is, he's telling on himself. He wants her

1451
01:06:14,520 --> 01:06:17,440
Speaker 4: to actively fight for him at all times. So he's

1452
01:06:17,480 --> 01:06:20,080
Speaker 4: not saying, oh, I want us to work through our problems.

1453
01:06:20,120 --> 01:06:22,680
Speaker 4: I want us to work like try and in our relationship.

1454
01:06:22,760 --> 01:06:24,880
Speaker 4: He's literally like, I want you to have to always

1455
01:06:24,880 --> 01:06:25,360
Speaker 4: fight for.

1456
01:06:25,360 --> 01:06:26,920
Speaker 2: This right exactly.

1457
01:06:27,480 --> 01:06:29,320
Speaker 5: I don't know if I'm being too cold about this,

1458
01:06:29,480 --> 01:06:32,320
Speaker 5: but I am not the kind of person who enjoys drama.

1459
01:06:32,400 --> 01:06:35,040
Speaker 5: I was always the cold type of person I hate it,

1460
01:06:35,120 --> 01:06:38,200
Speaker 5: and I know Zach and Mia are enjoying this love triangle.

1461
01:06:38,320 --> 01:06:40,920
Speaker 5: I really care about Zach and we had a great relationship,

1462
01:06:41,000 --> 01:06:43,400
Speaker 5: but I care much more about my mental health.

1463
01:06:43,440 --> 01:06:44,520
Speaker 3: Am I the a hole?

1464
01:06:44,560 --> 01:06:46,960
Speaker 2: And there is an edit, but let's discuss.

1465
01:06:47,240 --> 01:06:50,680
Speaker 4: I think, did you took the best path forward? You're weird, bye,

1466
01:06:50,840 --> 01:06:51,720
Speaker 4: I'm running out.

1467
01:06:51,800 --> 01:06:53,760
Speaker 5: The fact that he's like, I want you to fight

1468
01:06:53,800 --> 01:06:56,560
Speaker 5: for this means that like he wants her to have

1469
01:06:56,920 --> 01:06:59,960
Speaker 5: controlling tendencies towards him, And maybe that's because.

1470
01:06:59,760 --> 01:07:02,200
Speaker 2: She knows controlling su this towards heart. Well, we don't know.

1471
01:07:02,240 --> 01:07:04,680
Speaker 2: We haven't edit. I haven't moved out yet because we

1472
01:07:04,760 --> 01:07:05,560
Speaker 2: pay rent together.

1473
01:07:05,640 --> 01:07:07,520
Speaker 5: The whole month of rent is already paid by me

1474
01:07:07,880 --> 01:07:10,000
Speaker 5: because he couldn't come up with the money to pay

1475
01:07:10,000 --> 01:07:12,800
Speaker 5: for this month, but he's supposed to pay for next month. Guys,

1476
01:07:12,920 --> 01:07:14,880
Speaker 5: I don't have any problem with this. He didn't take

1477
01:07:14,880 --> 01:07:16,000
Speaker 5: advantage of me or anything.

1478
01:07:16,080 --> 01:07:16,760
Speaker 3: Something happened.

1479
01:07:16,800 --> 01:07:17,919
Speaker 2: He ran out of money for rent.

1480
01:07:17,960 --> 01:07:19,960
Speaker 5: Nothing about that, and I have to wait for my

1481
01:07:20,000 --> 01:07:22,440
Speaker 5: parents to fix my room again, So for now I

1482
01:07:22,480 --> 01:07:24,440
Speaker 5: have to leave my things here. At the beginning of

1483
01:07:24,480 --> 01:07:26,640
Speaker 5: the year, the lease was updated, so I spent a

1484
01:07:26,680 --> 01:07:29,200
Speaker 5: lot of money on that as well, as rent went

1485
01:07:29,280 --> 01:07:29,760
Speaker 5: up by.

1486
01:07:29,720 --> 01:07:32,640
Speaker 2: Forty percent, so it's money wasted. Now.

1487
01:07:32,720 --> 01:07:35,200
Speaker 5: I'm pretty sad about that since my father was the

1488
01:07:35,200 --> 01:07:36,440
Speaker 5: one who helped me pay.

1489
01:07:36,280 --> 01:07:38,120
Speaker 2: For my part of the expenses of that apartment.

1490
01:07:38,120 --> 01:07:39,960
Speaker 5: Okay, that makes sense. It's hard to just get up

1491
01:07:40,000 --> 01:07:41,680
Speaker 5: and leave. It takes a lot of money to be

1492
01:07:41,720 --> 01:07:44,320
Speaker 5: able to do that. But there is another update. I

1493
01:07:44,400 --> 01:07:47,880
Speaker 5: discovered Mia was sleeping with Zach. She's expecting his baby,

1494
01:07:47,920 --> 01:07:49,880
Speaker 5: and they kicked me out from the apartment.

1495
01:07:50,000 --> 01:07:51,720
Speaker 2: But I'm pregnant too.

1496
01:07:52,000 --> 01:07:54,200
Speaker 5: I spoke with Zach to ask him to have a

1497
01:07:54,240 --> 01:07:57,080
Speaker 5: good coexistence because I'm going to stay a few more

1498
01:07:57,120 --> 01:07:59,400
Speaker 5: months here because talking a little bit with him and

1499
01:07:59,480 --> 01:08:01,720
Speaker 5: my father, we came to a conclusion that it is

1500
01:08:01,720 --> 01:08:04,080
Speaker 5: better for both of us to continue living together in

1501
01:08:04,120 --> 01:08:07,000
Speaker 5: a healthy way, So much better than everyone being pregnant.

1502
01:08:07,440 --> 01:08:10,120
Speaker 5: Both have our bedrooms, after all, he promised me that

1503
01:08:10,200 --> 01:08:13,640
Speaker 5: he wouldn't enter my bedroom without an invitation and apologize

1504
01:08:13,640 --> 01:08:16,000
Speaker 5: for doing that before. There are many reasons why we

1505
01:08:16,000 --> 01:08:19,040
Speaker 5: should continue to live together, at least until the lease expires,

1506
01:08:19,080 --> 01:08:21,320
Speaker 5: but I'm not going to bore everyone with those reasons.

1507
01:08:21,400 --> 01:08:24,000
Speaker 5: But most of them are because of money. And how

1508
01:08:24,000 --> 01:08:26,240
Speaker 5: expensive the bus would be to get from my home

1509
01:08:26,280 --> 01:08:28,559
Speaker 5: to work in college every day if I come back

1510
01:08:28,560 --> 01:08:30,920
Speaker 5: to my parents' house. We both cried, and I asked

1511
01:08:31,000 --> 01:08:33,880
Speaker 5: Zach what he expected to happen when I saw him

1512
01:08:33,920 --> 01:08:36,400
Speaker 5: treat mea that way. He said, it's a self esteem

1513
01:08:36,400 --> 01:08:38,720
Speaker 5: issue he has, but he needs me to show him

1514
01:08:38,760 --> 01:08:41,040
Speaker 5: all the time that I love him, and the fact

1515
01:08:41,160 --> 01:08:43,559
Speaker 5: I never reacted affect him a lot.

1516
01:08:43,920 --> 01:08:45,280
Speaker 2: Honestly, he's attractive.

1517
01:08:45,400 --> 01:08:47,920
Speaker 5: I know he's always been pretty conceited, but I used

1518
01:08:47,920 --> 01:08:49,960
Speaker 5: to think that that was the way he was, but

1519
01:08:50,120 --> 01:08:51,000
Speaker 5: now I see.

1520
01:08:50,800 --> 01:08:54,360
Speaker 2: That it's actually a problem. He has narcissism. Zach said

1521
01:08:54,400 --> 01:08:55,559
Speaker 2: that when he sees that I.

1522
01:08:55,520 --> 01:08:57,800
Speaker 5: Don't get jealous in the way he likes, he feels

1523
01:08:57,880 --> 01:09:00,760
Speaker 5: annoyed and even more in scare because he thinks I

1524
01:09:00,800 --> 01:09:04,759
Speaker 5: don't love him because he always shows me when he's jealous.

1525
01:09:04,880 --> 01:09:05,800
Speaker 2: He said, he.

1526
01:09:05,760 --> 01:09:08,439
Speaker 5: Doesn't have feelings for mea at all, but he likes

1527
01:09:08,439 --> 01:09:11,200
Speaker 5: to see my face when she talks to me that way.

1528
01:09:11,360 --> 01:09:14,280
Speaker 5: Zach knows Mia likes him, but he said she's like

1529
01:09:14,439 --> 01:09:16,840
Speaker 5: that with all her male friends too, and at first

1530
01:09:16,960 --> 01:09:19,000
Speaker 5: he thought it was funny to see my annoyed face,

1531
01:09:19,040 --> 01:09:20,720
Speaker 5: but then it started to bother him.

1532
01:09:20,840 --> 01:09:22,840
Speaker 2: The fact that I never reacted like.

1533
01:09:22,920 --> 01:09:25,920
Speaker 4: Mia sucks obviously, but like he sucks for how he's

1534
01:09:25,920 --> 01:09:28,840
Speaker 4: treating Mia and Ope like he's doing with both of them.

1535
01:09:28,880 --> 01:09:32,320
Speaker 5: Absolutely yeah, And it's weird that he knows that Mia

1536
01:09:32,479 --> 01:09:34,760
Speaker 5: likes him and he's still letting her like sit on

1537
01:09:34,760 --> 01:09:36,760
Speaker 5: his lap, Like I would say that that's on the

1538
01:09:36,880 --> 01:09:40,320
Speaker 5: edge of cheating. I did react, but it was talking

1539
01:09:40,400 --> 01:09:43,040
Speaker 5: like an adult. He probably wanted me to yell and

1540
01:09:43,120 --> 01:09:45,439
Speaker 5: pull her hair. The worst part, I was going to

1541
01:09:45,439 --> 01:09:48,040
Speaker 5: do it one hundred percent if she kept behaving that way.

1542
01:09:48,160 --> 01:09:50,519
Speaker 5: That's why I decided to cut off the relationship before

1543
01:09:50,560 --> 01:09:53,240
Speaker 5: I reacted them that way. Zach even mentioned other times

1544
01:09:53,240 --> 01:09:55,759
Speaker 5: he wanted me to be jealous about other girls, but honestly,

1545
01:09:55,840 --> 01:09:58,280
Speaker 5: I had no idea he did that because I think

1546
01:09:58,360 --> 01:10:00,840
Speaker 5: if someone is going to cheat on you, they're going

1547
01:10:00,880 --> 01:10:02,479
Speaker 5: to do it, even if you tell them not to.

1548
01:10:02,760 --> 01:10:04,960
Speaker 5: I'm not going to fight or a wiener. Okay, I

1549
01:10:05,080 --> 01:10:09,080
Speaker 5: told him he's a weird idiot and his insecurity ruined

1550
01:10:09,120 --> 01:10:09,960
Speaker 5: our relationship.

1551
01:10:10,080 --> 01:10:12,400
Speaker 2: I had that thought of did I really.

1552
01:10:12,120 --> 01:10:13,120
Speaker 3: Sleep with this person?

1553
01:10:13,280 --> 01:10:14,639
Speaker 2: She like immediately got the gig.

1554
01:10:14,840 --> 01:10:19,080
Speaker 5: She was like, damn you're weird, dang, so now I

1555
01:10:19,160 --> 01:10:22,240
Speaker 5: want the earth to swallow me. He has always been

1556
01:10:22,360 --> 01:10:25,280
Speaker 5: very kind and we had a beautiful relationship, but I

1557
01:10:25,400 --> 01:10:27,840
Speaker 5: just can't forget that behavior and the fact that he

1558
01:10:27,920 --> 01:10:30,840
Speaker 5: made me feel bad about Mia. Our conversation was pretty

1559
01:10:30,880 --> 01:10:33,920
Speaker 5: calm after that. Zach admitted that he ruined our relationship,

1560
01:10:34,000 --> 01:10:36,120
Speaker 5: and I made it clear to him that we wouldn't

1561
01:10:36,120 --> 01:10:38,599
Speaker 5: be a couple again. I'm a little uncomfortable, but surely

1562
01:10:38,640 --> 01:10:40,519
Speaker 5: as the days go by, we can be friends or

1563
01:10:40,520 --> 01:10:41,759
Speaker 5: at least be civil with each.

1564
01:10:41,600 --> 01:10:43,439
Speaker 2: Other at the end of the day. We both look

1565
01:10:43,479 --> 01:10:44,719
Speaker 2: for different things in a couple.

1566
01:10:44,880 --> 01:10:47,559
Speaker 5: He wants a passionate woman who feels things just as

1567
01:10:47,600 --> 01:10:50,519
Speaker 5: intensely as he does his words, and I want a

1568
01:10:50,560 --> 01:10:53,040
Speaker 5: mature and focused man to live in peace. I think

1569
01:10:53,080 --> 01:10:55,880
Speaker 5: I'm too cold for him, and he's looking for another

1570
01:10:56,040 --> 01:10:56,599
Speaker 5: kind of woman.

1571
01:10:56,760 --> 01:10:57,160
Speaker 2: Anyway.

1572
01:10:57,680 --> 01:11:00,479
Speaker 5: Just know that no, I'm not going to be in

1573
01:11:00,479 --> 01:11:03,920
Speaker 5: a relationship with Zach again. That boat is already got

1574
01:11:04,040 --> 01:11:05,960
Speaker 5: for now. I just want to try to make this

1575
01:11:06,120 --> 01:11:08,920
Speaker 5: coexistence work, since we both know that is what is

1576
01:11:09,000 --> 01:11:11,840
Speaker 5: convenient for us, and at least for my part, I'm

1577
01:11:11,840 --> 01:11:13,479
Speaker 5: not going to screw it up. By the way, something

1578
01:11:13,479 --> 01:11:16,040
Speaker 5: that you could never screw up is joining us live

1579
01:11:16,080 --> 01:11:18,799
Speaker 5: on YouTube every weekday at three pm PST.

1580
01:11:19,080 --> 01:11:19,760
Speaker 3: Just tap our.

1581
01:11:19,680 --> 01:11:22,880
Speaker 5: Profile tabit and there's a little bit more. But do

1582
01:11:22,920 --> 01:11:24,719
Speaker 5: you have any current thoughts.

1583
01:11:24,960 --> 01:11:28,120
Speaker 4: I think he just handled this like really well, so well,

1584
01:11:28,400 --> 01:11:31,920
Speaker 4: just handled what is a really immature, insecure boy.

1585
01:11:32,120 --> 01:11:33,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, trying to play with her feelings and she was

1586
01:11:33,800 --> 01:11:35,080
Speaker 2: like no, no, Yeah.

1587
01:11:35,320 --> 01:11:38,519
Speaker 5: I think that Zach has a very skewed mindset on

1588
01:11:38,560 --> 01:11:42,680
Speaker 5: how relationship should work. I think this isn't just intense emotions,

1589
01:11:42,760 --> 01:11:46,760
Speaker 5: this is unhealthy coping skills, I would say with those emotions.

1590
01:11:47,040 --> 01:11:49,160
Speaker 5: Zach told me he made it clear to me that

1591
01:11:49,240 --> 01:11:51,599
Speaker 5: he's not going to sleep with her, but he also

1592
01:11:51,720 --> 01:11:55,479
Speaker 5: said that Mia is flirtatious with everyone, and he kind

1593
01:11:55,479 --> 01:11:58,800
Speaker 5: of just justified her behavior. So yeah, according to Zach,

1594
01:11:59,000 --> 01:12:02,840
Speaker 5: Mia knows, but that's not what Zach said, So who

1595
01:12:02,880 --> 01:12:05,320
Speaker 5: knows if it's true or not. For my part, they

1596
01:12:05,320 --> 01:12:08,200
Speaker 5: can both f off and I don't plan on talking

1597
01:12:08,200 --> 01:12:11,040
Speaker 5: to me again. Me and knows. I think they both

1598
01:12:11,160 --> 01:12:13,960
Speaker 5: just like the attention and that is the end of

1599
01:12:13,960 --> 01:12:14,599
Speaker 5: the story.

1600
01:12:14,800 --> 01:12:15,000
Speaker 2: Man.

1601
01:12:15,280 --> 01:12:17,920
Speaker 5: Yeah, leave them to leave them to their own devices. Yes,

1602
01:12:18,200 --> 01:12:20,960
Speaker 5: let them be toxic together. They'll figure it out you

1603
01:12:20,960 --> 01:12:22,720
Speaker 5: can be in a little toxic pit.

1604
01:12:22,960 --> 01:12:26,160
Speaker 2: Yeah. Go you for protecting your peace. We love that.

1605
01:12:26,280 --> 01:12:29,439
Speaker 2: But that is the end of that story. So see

1606
01:12:29,479 --> 01:12:30,120
Speaker 2: you next time.

1607
01:12:31,280 --> 01:12:33,040
Speaker 3: Hey, it's John you og host here. We're gonna get

1608
01:12:33,040 --> 01:12:34,599
Speaker 3: back to the stories. But he's a quick three minute

1609
01:12:34,600 --> 01:12:35,799
Speaker 3: break of asthmrom Our sponsors.

1610
01:12:36,920 --> 01:12:41,120
Speaker 2: I brought my brother's boyfriend to his funeral despite my

1611
01:12:41,320 --> 01:12:45,840
Speaker 2: family's disapproval. Funeral For a little over a month ago,

1612
01:12:45,960 --> 01:12:48,840
Speaker 2: my little brother, who was twenty six, passed away in

1613
01:12:48,920 --> 01:12:53,160
Speaker 2: a motorcycle accident. Dang, his death was so sudden and

1614
01:12:53,280 --> 01:12:56,559
Speaker 2: it's hit my family very hard. I honestly still can't

1615
01:12:56,560 --> 01:12:59,840
Speaker 2: believe it. Sorry about that, op, it's really rough.

1616
01:13:00,280 --> 01:13:00,720
Speaker 3: By the way.

1617
01:13:00,760 --> 01:13:03,600
Speaker 2: This comes from user and on throwaway on the r

1618
01:13:03,680 --> 01:13:08,920
Speaker 2: slash Okay storytime subreddit. So with covid and now this

1619
01:13:09,080 --> 01:13:12,000
Speaker 2: unexpected loss, we had no idea how to organize a

1620
01:13:12,040 --> 01:13:15,400
Speaker 2: funeral while dealing with our grief, My brother always said

1621
01:13:15,439 --> 01:13:17,559
Speaker 2: he wanted to be cremated when he died, so at

1622
01:13:17,640 --> 01:13:20,599
Speaker 2: least we were able to honor his wish. It also

1623
01:13:20,760 --> 01:13:22,680
Speaker 2: made it a little easier to take our time to

1624
01:13:22,720 --> 01:13:26,400
Speaker 2: plan a proper service for him without worrying about his body.

1625
01:13:26,520 --> 01:13:28,920
Speaker 2: The week my brother passed, I drove to his apartment

1626
01:13:28,960 --> 01:13:31,879
Speaker 2: to pick up some of his stuff and met his roommate,

1627
01:13:32,040 --> 01:13:35,559
Speaker 2: who I'll call him m let's call him Mark, Mark,

1628
01:13:36,240 --> 01:13:39,720
Speaker 2: who my sister already told the news. Only I came

1629
01:13:39,800 --> 01:13:42,840
Speaker 2: to find out Mark was more than a roommate. He

1630
01:13:43,040 --> 01:13:47,600
Speaker 2: was my brother's boyfriend of five years. Oh no, he

1631
01:13:47,760 --> 01:13:50,559
Speaker 2: was so heartbroken and upset. He didn't even try to

1632
01:13:50,600 --> 01:13:53,320
Speaker 2: hide the fact that they were a couple. Dang well,

1633
01:13:53,400 --> 01:13:58,559
Speaker 2: I mean that's so tough, yeah, secret boyfriend. When your

1634
01:13:58,560 --> 01:14:02,080
Speaker 2: secret boyfriend dies, and I don't think you can hold

1635
01:14:02,160 --> 01:14:05,160
Speaker 2: up the the mask anymore. I think the mask comes down.

1636
01:14:05,240 --> 01:14:06,600
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah.

1637
01:14:06,680 --> 01:14:08,360
Speaker 3: I thought you're like when you're seeing your boyfriend dies

1638
01:14:08,400 --> 01:14:09,839
Speaker 3: and their sister shows up, and.

1639
01:14:09,640 --> 01:14:13,000
Speaker 2: You know that those when your secret boyfriend dies and

1640
01:14:13,040 --> 01:14:17,599
Speaker 2: you have to cry, you know, I think, I think. Yeah. Anyway,

1641
01:14:17,920 --> 01:14:19,960
Speaker 2: while I was a little bit surprised, I had my

1642
01:14:20,040 --> 01:14:23,000
Speaker 2: suspicion growing up that he might like guys, but I

1643
01:14:23,040 --> 01:14:25,479
Speaker 2: never said anything. Being his older brother in all, I

1644
01:14:25,520 --> 01:14:27,559
Speaker 2: figured he'd come to me when he was ready. I

1645
01:14:27,600 --> 01:14:29,960
Speaker 2: wound up staying for hours talking to Mark about my

1646
01:14:30,000 --> 01:14:33,840
Speaker 2: brother and going through photos. Oh yeah, Since then, I

1647
01:14:33,960 --> 01:14:36,600
Speaker 2: kept contact with him to see how he's coping, and

1648
01:14:36,680 --> 01:14:38,680
Speaker 2: I started visiting a lot just so we both had

1649
01:14:38,720 --> 01:14:41,080
Speaker 2: someone to talk to. He's a great guy, and I'm

1650
01:14:41,120 --> 01:14:43,599
Speaker 2: really happy my brother found someone like him to spend

1651
01:14:43,600 --> 01:14:47,400
Speaker 2: his years with. See, now, this is what real support

1652
01:14:47,600 --> 01:14:50,800
Speaker 2: looks like. Yeah, you know, I wish that he could

1653
01:14:50,840 --> 01:14:53,639
Speaker 2: have supported his brother openly and that his brother could

1654
01:14:53,640 --> 01:14:56,840
Speaker 2: have been open about it. But just in retrospect, it's

1655
01:14:56,880 --> 01:15:00,880
Speaker 2: like being able to bond with Mark is like that's

1656
01:15:00,920 --> 01:15:03,000
Speaker 2: how he It sounds like that's how he's processing his grief.

1657
01:15:03,200 --> 01:15:03,400
Speaker 5: Yeah.

1658
01:15:05,280 --> 01:15:07,840
Speaker 2: Having these talks with Mark have also made me feel

1659
01:15:07,840 --> 01:15:11,080
Speaker 2: a lot closer to my brother again. Wow, my brother

1660
01:15:11,240 --> 01:15:14,720
Speaker 2: distanced himself from our family at eighteen and didn't keep

1661
01:15:14,840 --> 01:15:18,280
Speaker 2: much contact with anyone, even me, despite us being as

1662
01:15:18,320 --> 01:15:21,320
Speaker 2: close as two brothers can be. Which looking back now,

1663
01:15:21,439 --> 01:15:25,040
Speaker 2: I guess I can see why my family was finally

1664
01:15:25,080 --> 01:15:27,880
Speaker 2: able to organize a proper funeral service for my brother.

1665
01:15:28,360 --> 01:15:31,280
Speaker 2: The service is scheduled for this Friday. We're still limited

1666
01:15:31,320 --> 01:15:33,479
Speaker 2: on how many people can be there, so only close

1667
01:15:33,560 --> 01:15:36,519
Speaker 2: family will be attending and it'll be live streamed for

1668
01:15:36,680 --> 01:15:40,320
Speaker 2: everyone else. I really think Mark should be at the funeral.

1669
01:15:40,720 --> 01:15:42,680
Speaker 2: He just lost the love of his life and he

1670
01:15:42,720 --> 01:15:45,519
Speaker 2: really wants to be there too. We decided to tell

1671
01:15:45,520 --> 01:15:48,280
Speaker 2: my parents he's a really close friend of my brothers.

1672
01:15:48,680 --> 01:15:52,040
Speaker 2: My sister, who apparently knew about them, flipped when she

1673
01:15:52,120 --> 01:15:54,080
Speaker 2: found out. Well, I think we're finding out why I

1674
01:15:54,080 --> 01:15:57,040
Speaker 2: OPI's brother wasn't in contact with the family because they're

1675
01:15:57,040 --> 01:15:58,360
Speaker 2: a bunch of homes.

1676
01:15:58,600 --> 01:16:01,519
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah.

1677
01:16:01,640 --> 01:16:04,559
Speaker 2: She told me not to bring Mark because our parents

1678
01:16:04,600 --> 01:16:06,880
Speaker 2: will question who he is and it might expose the

1679
01:16:06,880 --> 01:16:09,760
Speaker 2: truth about my brother being gay since they never met

1680
01:16:09,800 --> 01:16:12,599
Speaker 2: him before. We argued over this, and she pretty much

1681
01:16:12,600 --> 01:16:14,800
Speaker 2: thinks that I'd be an a hole for letting Mark

1682
01:16:14,920 --> 01:16:18,280
Speaker 2: possibly face ridicule from our family if they found.

1683
01:16:18,080 --> 01:16:18,840
Speaker 3: Out who he was.

1684
01:16:19,160 --> 01:16:23,800
Speaker 2: Well, because they're all close minded. Hey, newsflash, it's the

1685
01:16:23,880 --> 01:16:27,640
Speaker 2: family who's being the a hole in that situation. Like

1686
01:16:27,840 --> 01:16:30,519
Speaker 2: if anything, Oh, he is being an angel trying to

1687
01:16:30,640 --> 01:16:35,120
Speaker 2: allow Mark to have a final sense of closure, and

1688
01:16:35,240 --> 01:16:38,000
Speaker 2: that I'd also be a terrible son if I upset

1689
01:16:38,000 --> 01:16:40,360
Speaker 2: my parents over my brother being gay while they're still

1690
01:16:40,400 --> 01:16:44,000
Speaker 2: grieving him. Also, if your parents are upset about that,

1691
01:16:44,240 --> 01:16:49,599
Speaker 2: they suck. Yeah, this is all about if they find out.

1692
01:16:50,080 --> 01:16:52,080
Speaker 2: I don't know if they will, but it still doesn't

1693
01:16:52,120 --> 01:16:54,760
Speaker 2: seem fair to not let Mark be there when he

1694
01:16:54,800 --> 01:16:58,000
Speaker 2: was such an important person in my brother's life. I

1695
01:16:58,040 --> 01:17:01,000
Speaker 2: feel like it's only right to bring him. But maybe

1696
01:17:01,040 --> 01:17:03,120
Speaker 2: I'm letting my emotions get the best of me, and

1697
01:17:03,160 --> 01:17:06,760
Speaker 2: maybe someone with a different perspective can tell me, Am I.

1698
01:17:06,840 --> 01:17:07,479
Speaker 3: The a hole?

1699
01:17:08,000 --> 01:17:11,719
Speaker 2: We do have an update? Wow, so far I would

1700
01:17:11,920 --> 01:17:13,200
Speaker 2: vehemently say.

1701
01:17:12,960 --> 01:17:17,840
Speaker 3: No, no, and like, if you're afraid your family won't

1702
01:17:17,880 --> 01:17:21,640
Speaker 3: let him come in because it's just like that's their boyfriend,

1703
01:17:22,320 --> 01:17:24,559
Speaker 3: maybe you do the roommate thing. Plus they were close friends.

1704
01:17:24,960 --> 01:17:27,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's not abnormal to be like, Yeah, this is

1705
01:17:27,640 --> 01:17:30,120
Speaker 2: my friend of five years and he died suddenly. It's like,

1706
01:17:30,439 --> 01:17:31,960
Speaker 2: of course I want to be at his funeral.

1707
01:17:32,240 --> 01:17:33,559
Speaker 3: Yeah. Update.

1708
01:17:33,640 --> 01:17:36,280
Speaker 2: Thank you so much to everyone for your support and

1709
01:17:36,360 --> 01:17:39,360
Speaker 2: assuring me that we're doing the right thing here. I

1710
01:17:39,400 --> 01:17:41,559
Speaker 2: know I won't be able to reply to every single comment,

1711
01:17:41,600 --> 01:17:44,720
Speaker 2: so I just wanted to express my gratitude. Also, I

1712
01:17:44,760 --> 01:17:46,680
Speaker 2: did want to say, since people keep telling me to

1713
01:17:46,720 --> 01:17:49,519
Speaker 2: warn Mark about my family, he is well aware of

1714
01:17:49,560 --> 01:17:51,920
Speaker 2: how they are, since my brother told him all about

1715
01:17:52,000 --> 01:17:54,240
Speaker 2: them and knows what he might be dealing with if

1716
01:17:54,320 --> 01:17:57,760
Speaker 2: anyone finds out. He still made the choice to be

1717
01:17:57,800 --> 01:18:01,639
Speaker 2: there and prefers being introduced as only my brother's best friend,

1718
01:18:02,439 --> 01:18:05,080
Speaker 2: not because of my family's homophobic views, but because he

1719
01:18:05,120 --> 01:18:08,640
Speaker 2: wants peace for himself at the funeral exactly. Sometimes you

1720
01:18:08,720 --> 01:18:11,840
Speaker 2: have to make a decision or omit the truth or

1721
01:18:11,880 --> 01:18:15,519
Speaker 2: whatever just for your own peace, for your own to

1722
01:18:15,560 --> 01:18:20,400
Speaker 2: make things smooth for you, Sometimes it's best to leave

1723
01:18:20,439 --> 01:18:24,439
Speaker 2: out the entire truth. If anyone does find out, though,

1724
01:18:24,720 --> 01:18:27,679
Speaker 2: he won't be alone. I'll be standing by his side,

1725
01:18:28,000 --> 01:18:30,960
Speaker 2: so anybody wanting to cause problems will be dealing with me.

1726
01:18:31,800 --> 01:18:34,640
Speaker 2: Good job, ope, So please don't worry. I won't let

1727
01:18:34,720 --> 01:18:37,599
Speaker 2: anyone ruin this last chance for us to say goodbye

1728
01:18:37,640 --> 01:18:40,759
Speaker 2: to my dear baby brother and we have a final update.

1729
01:18:40,800 --> 01:18:43,120
Speaker 3: I assume. Yeah, let's dig in.

1730
01:18:43,960 --> 01:18:46,280
Speaker 2: Mark went to the funeral and I introduced him to

1731
01:18:46,360 --> 01:18:49,519
Speaker 2: everyone as my brother's roommate and best friend. My sister

1732
01:18:49,680 --> 01:18:55,760
Speaker 2: was visibly bothered ugh, but she didn't say anything. As expected,

1733
01:18:55,920 --> 01:18:59,320
Speaker 2: Everyone including my parents were too upset to think about

1734
01:18:59,400 --> 01:19:02,360
Speaker 2: him being there and were still welcoming towards him.

1735
01:19:02,520 --> 01:19:02,800
Speaker 3: Nice.

1736
01:19:03,040 --> 01:19:05,519
Speaker 2: They didn't speculate or react the way my sister thought

1737
01:19:05,560 --> 01:19:08,639
Speaker 2: they would. I knew they wouldn't. We were all focused

1738
01:19:08,640 --> 01:19:12,679
Speaker 2: on my brother. It was a beautiful service. I'm glad

1739
01:19:12,760 --> 01:19:14,479
Speaker 2: Mark was a part of this and that my brother

1740
01:19:14,560 --> 01:19:17,439
Speaker 2: got a proper send off. It was very difficult, and

1741
01:19:17,479 --> 01:19:22,120
Speaker 2: it hurt so much to say goodbye. Ah yeah, that's all.

1742
01:19:22,439 --> 01:19:24,400
Speaker 2: I'm glad that you had you. You at least got

1743
01:19:24,400 --> 01:19:26,720
Speaker 2: to have like the person who helped you through it

1744
01:19:26,800 --> 01:19:29,280
Speaker 2: the most be there with you. Yeah, and like a

1745
01:19:29,320 --> 01:19:32,080
Speaker 2: person who was really close to your brother also be

1746
01:19:32,120 --> 01:19:35,160
Speaker 2: there with it. I'm sure that it was as even

1747
01:19:35,160 --> 01:19:37,120
Speaker 2: though it was still really hard, you had made it

1748
01:19:37,120 --> 01:19:41,080
Speaker 2: as easy for yourself as possible. You know that's not

1749
01:19:41,120 --> 01:19:43,360
Speaker 2: the right word, but I really hope we did right

1750
01:19:43,439 --> 01:19:46,519
Speaker 2: by my brother and it was how he would have

1751
01:19:46,560 --> 01:19:50,160
Speaker 2: wanted it. Thank you to whoever suggested an earned necklace

1752
01:19:50,240 --> 01:19:52,439
Speaker 2: that Mark could keep some of my brother's ashes in.

1753
01:19:52,840 --> 01:19:54,640
Speaker 2: I brought this up to him and asked if that

1754
01:19:54,760 --> 01:19:57,080
Speaker 2: was something he wanted. I was going to get part

1755
01:19:57,120 --> 01:19:59,800
Speaker 2: for myself while my parents kept most of it, and

1756
01:20:00,240 --> 01:20:03,679
Speaker 2: I would just split the ashes with Mark. Mark didn't

1757
01:20:03,680 --> 01:20:05,320
Speaker 2: know that was a thing, but said that he liked

1758
01:20:05,320 --> 01:20:07,920
Speaker 2: that idea. He got himself a beautiful pendant to keep

1759
01:20:07,960 --> 01:20:10,679
Speaker 2: the ashes in, and he really loves it. So thanks

1760
01:20:10,680 --> 01:20:13,240
Speaker 2: again to the person who commented this. It was a

1761
01:20:13,240 --> 01:20:15,600
Speaker 2: lovely suggestion and it means so much to him to

1762
01:20:15,600 --> 01:20:17,760
Speaker 2: have a piece of my brother with him at all times.

1763
01:20:17,840 --> 01:20:18,960
Speaker 3: Oh that's super sweet.

1764
01:20:19,320 --> 01:20:23,200
Speaker 2: Wow. I've still kept contact with Mark since the funeral.

1765
01:20:23,560 --> 01:20:25,839
Speaker 2: He stopped by a couple of times and has finally

1766
01:20:25,880 --> 01:20:28,519
Speaker 2: met my wife and daughter. I also try to see

1767
01:20:28,560 --> 01:20:30,439
Speaker 2: him when I have the chance, just to make sure

1768
01:20:30,479 --> 01:20:31,080
Speaker 2: he's okay.

1769
01:20:31,479 --> 01:20:31,839
Speaker 3: Nice.

1770
01:20:31,880 --> 01:20:35,000
Speaker 2: This has understandably taken a huge toll on him. He

1771
01:20:35,080 --> 01:20:37,920
Speaker 2: told me he started talking to someone to help cope

1772
01:20:37,960 --> 01:20:40,400
Speaker 2: with the grief, which I think is great. That's great, awesome,

1773
01:20:40,479 --> 01:20:43,200
Speaker 2: and I think is great, and Riley thinks is great.

1774
01:20:43,560 --> 01:20:45,680
Speaker 3: Bee, that's great. And also hope you think checking in

1775
01:20:45,760 --> 01:20:47,479
Speaker 3: on him that's huge, super big.

1776
01:20:47,600 --> 01:20:50,240
Speaker 2: I mean, clearly, you guys have created a bond. I

1777
01:20:50,320 --> 01:20:52,040
Speaker 2: myself had a bit of a wake up call that

1778
01:20:52,120 --> 01:20:55,760
Speaker 2: therapy was something I very much needed right away. My

1779
01:20:55,840 --> 01:20:57,800
Speaker 2: wife brought it to my attention that our five year

1780
01:20:57,840 --> 01:21:00,840
Speaker 2: old has noticed I've stopped eating, and now she doesn't

1781
01:21:00,880 --> 01:21:04,120
Speaker 2: want to either unless I do. Oh no, man, these

1782
01:21:04,160 --> 01:21:07,160
Speaker 2: five year olds always making everything hard. Yeah, get rid

1783
01:21:07,200 --> 01:21:10,080
Speaker 2: of them. Actually, I get rid of a five year old. Yeah,

1784
01:21:10,880 --> 01:21:13,200
Speaker 2: tosser casser. She's toxic.

1785
01:21:15,479 --> 01:21:18,720
Speaker 3: No, but that is rough, and you know that's kind

1786
01:21:18,760 --> 01:21:20,360
Speaker 3: of it's kind of sweet in a way too, that

1787
01:21:20,360 --> 01:21:21,840
Speaker 3: the five year old's not going to eat until you do.

1788
01:21:22,200 --> 01:21:22,320
Speaker 4: Well.

1789
01:21:22,400 --> 01:21:24,599
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like if dad, if dad's not eating, I'm

1790
01:21:24,640 --> 01:21:28,920
Speaker 2: not gonna eat. But good good that you call in

1791
01:21:28,920 --> 01:21:32,160
Speaker 2: the way kids are wise beyond their you know, sense

1792
01:21:32,479 --> 01:21:35,160
Speaker 2: of wisdom, right, Like I don't know. I guess I

1793
01:21:35,360 --> 01:21:37,240
Speaker 2: just haven't been able to eat because I feel like

1794
01:21:37,320 --> 01:21:39,639
Speaker 2: I don't deserve it. If that makes any sense. Nah,

1795
01:21:39,680 --> 01:21:41,559
Speaker 2: it doesn't make sense to me, but you know it

1796
01:21:41,600 --> 01:21:45,479
Speaker 2: does make sense. You joining us live on YouTube every

1797
01:21:45,520 --> 01:21:47,200
Speaker 2: weekday at three pm PST.

1798
01:21:48,080 --> 01:21:49,320
Speaker 3: Just tap our profile.

1799
01:21:50,040 --> 01:21:54,280
Speaker 2: Just do it, tap and there is a little bit

1800
01:21:54,320 --> 01:21:57,240
Speaker 2: left here that is there anything we want to discuss

1801
01:21:57,280 --> 01:21:57,600
Speaker 2: before we.

1802
01:21:57,600 --> 01:21:59,759
Speaker 3: Finish a super hard thing to go through, losing a brother.

1803
01:22:00,360 --> 01:22:04,320
Speaker 3: And good on you for checking on their partner and

1804
01:22:04,680 --> 01:22:07,920
Speaker 3: checking on yourself too, Like that's a big wake up

1805
01:22:07,960 --> 01:22:11,559
Speaker 3: call and handling that stuff. And sorry they they're going

1806
01:22:11,600 --> 01:22:14,360
Speaker 3: through something hard like that. Heart hearts are out for you. Yeah,

1807
01:22:14,760 --> 01:22:18,439
Speaker 3: hearts hearts go out to op. Uh.

1808
01:22:18,600 --> 01:22:23,960
Speaker 2: You did a great job, I think processing everything on

1809
01:22:24,000 --> 01:22:26,679
Speaker 2: the front end and now you just have to process

1810
01:22:26,680 --> 01:22:27,439
Speaker 2: it on the back end.

1811
01:22:27,680 --> 01:22:31,760
Speaker 3: Do you think Mark should come out and tell that

1812
01:22:32,160 --> 01:22:37,639
Speaker 3: about about their son or just he has to live

1813
01:22:37,680 --> 01:22:39,840
Speaker 3: with that. I don't know. I don't.

1814
01:22:40,000 --> 01:22:43,120
Speaker 2: I don't think Mark needs to involve himself with like

1815
01:22:43,280 --> 01:22:46,520
Speaker 2: a family that clearly like isn't accepting.

1816
01:22:46,080 --> 01:22:51,400
Speaker 3: As like gay people. It just is like it would

1817
01:22:51,439 --> 01:22:52,400
Speaker 3: just be extra to me.

1818
01:22:52,720 --> 01:22:54,960
Speaker 2: It's like you're just setting yourself up for like bad,

1819
01:22:55,720 --> 01:22:58,599
Speaker 2: for feeling bad if you want to do that. I mean,

1820
01:22:59,439 --> 01:23:02,720
Speaker 2: I personally, I don't care if the parents are like

1821
01:23:03,000 --> 01:23:03,439
Speaker 2: all like.

1822
01:23:03,439 --> 01:23:05,080
Speaker 3: Oh, I can't believe our son was.

1823
01:23:05,200 --> 01:23:07,040
Speaker 2: Like, I don't care if they respond bad to it,

1824
01:23:07,439 --> 01:23:09,559
Speaker 2: but if they respond bad, it's probably gonna make Mark

1825
01:23:09,600 --> 01:23:10,040
Speaker 2: feel bad.

1826
01:23:10,160 --> 01:23:13,519
Speaker 3: Yeah, just I would just let me just keep your

1827
01:23:13,560 --> 01:23:14,960
Speaker 3: distance from wounds, is what I'd say.

1828
01:23:15,280 --> 01:23:19,080
Speaker 2: Just keep going to that therapy op and eat for

1829
01:23:19,160 --> 01:23:22,400
Speaker 2: your daughter, Eat for your daughter. All right, let's finish

1830
01:23:22,439 --> 01:23:25,200
Speaker 2: this off. It hit me that what I'm going through

1831
01:23:25,240 --> 01:23:27,760
Speaker 2: was starting to affect my family, so I'm currently looking

1832
01:23:27,840 --> 01:23:30,640
Speaker 2: up grief counseling in my area. I've also made an

1833
01:23:30,680 --> 01:23:33,160
Speaker 2: effort to eat more in front of my daughter so

1834
01:23:33,200 --> 01:23:35,240
Speaker 2: she knows that I'm fine and it's okay to eat

1835
01:23:35,680 --> 01:23:37,640
Speaker 2: eiding the fact that it still makes me sick to

1836
01:23:37,680 --> 01:23:40,840
Speaker 2: my stomach. Things are still rough and wounds are yet

1837
01:23:40,840 --> 01:23:43,920
Speaker 2: to heal, but we're all surviving. Thank you everyone for

1838
01:23:44,000 --> 01:23:47,120
Speaker 2: all your kindness and support. It was very reassuring to

1839
01:23:47,240 --> 01:23:49,920
Speaker 2: know that this was the right thing and Mark deserved

1840
01:23:50,040 --> 01:23:52,640
Speaker 2: to be there. Thinking back now, it should have been

1841
01:23:52,680 --> 01:23:55,040
Speaker 2: a no brainer, but emotions were high and it was

1842
01:23:55,080 --> 01:23:59,160
Speaker 2: better to get an outsider's perspective. I appreciate everyone's input

1843
01:23:59,439 --> 01:24:01,840
Speaker 2: and I hope you all have a wonderful day.

1844
01:24:03,400 --> 01:24:07,280
Speaker 3: Another happy gay, Another gay gay story, A little somber,

1845
01:24:07,479 --> 01:24:13,160
Speaker 3: but overall, I think you said everyone's healing. We're not

1846
01:24:13,160 --> 01:24:17,640
Speaker 3: not healed, but the healing has begun. The wounds are

1847
01:24:17,640 --> 01:24:20,360
Speaker 3: still there, but they are beginning to close. That's a

1848
01:24:20,400 --> 01:24:23,479
Speaker 3: hard thing. I can imagine, like my brother being gone.

1849
01:24:23,680 --> 01:24:24,320
Speaker 3: No I can't.

1850
01:24:25,240 --> 01:24:27,960
Speaker 2: I don't have any siblings, so it's possible, literally cag it.

1851
01:24:28,560 --> 01:24:32,280
Speaker 2: I mean, I've had some close friendships. Yeah, but you know,

1852
01:24:32,640 --> 01:24:35,840
Speaker 2: I think there's you can kind of compare that. But it's,

1853
01:24:35,880 --> 01:24:39,240
Speaker 2: like I say, again, it's it's not always the same.

1854
01:24:39,560 --> 01:24:41,640
Speaker 3: Like, oh, that's the end of that episode.

1855
01:24:41,880 --> 01:24:44,200
Speaker 2: We love you and see you tomorrow.