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Speaker 1: Today fed up by trusting the pullout method, and now

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Speaker 1: my retirement is fucked.

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Speaker 2: Like they literally tell you not to do the pull

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Speaker 2: out method, like since they start sex head, like I

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Speaker 2: remember fourth grade, They're like, yo, wow they start early.

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Speaker 1: Dang, it was earlier than Mettle, more progressive, more progressive.

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Speaker 2: Little California are banging, you know, on the daily. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: or at least. And I had a pretty bad grade.

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Speaker 2: So like fourth grade, people were giving each other handies

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Speaker 2: and movie theaters. Wow, yeah, wow, Okay, this is that

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Speaker 2: Catholic school, the dirtiest of the schools.

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Speaker 3: Californians are built different.

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Speaker 2: I know, I know it's that Hollywood influence. But even

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Speaker 2: then they were like, yo, pull out method, stop and

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Speaker 2: hey that you know, many people just don't listen.

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Speaker 3: I'm i'm, I'm.

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Speaker 1: My mind is still blown about the fourth graders and

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Speaker 1: the handies.

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Speaker 3: And all that.

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Speaker 2: My mind was blown when I learnt about it. And

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Speaker 2: fifth grade, oh man, other things were blown.

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Speaker 3: But God, God save our Chilla.

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Speaker 2: Uh you know late Bloomer.

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Speaker 1: Same, All right, all right, let's let's let's see. Let's

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Speaker 1: see what this predicament this person is in. I forty

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Speaker 1: seven male have three kids in their twenties, are independent

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Speaker 1: and live on their own. One is pregnant with her

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Speaker 1: first child. Nice going to be a grandpapy.

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Speaker 3: I was done. I was ready to be a grandpa.

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Speaker 1: And I started to think about selling my company and

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Speaker 1: taking an early retirement.

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Speaker 2: Yo, you do that, that that Tim Ferris retired financial independence.

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Speaker 3: But here's the thing.

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Speaker 2: What's the thing then? Oh no, I met her by

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Speaker 2: You gotta meet her.

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Speaker 3: Her you know what that means? Her ejaculation.

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Speaker 1: It was about six months ago and I a small

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Speaker 1: city was hosting a massive blood donation event to combat

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Speaker 1: a shortage. A bunch of local businesses and nonprofits set

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Speaker 1: up stalls and we're giving things out to donors, advertising

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Speaker 1: their services, et cetera. I own an electrical company and

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Speaker 1: we put a table right next to the table for

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Speaker 1: the local charity. There's only one person working it, a

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Speaker 1: young hot.

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Speaker 3: Working it. Twenty nine female. Yo.

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Speaker 2: She about to help this man donate some blood doys

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Speaker 2: wiener twenty nine.

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Speaker 1: She about to add forty to that sixty nine. And

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Speaker 1: then we started talking with our mouths.

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Speaker 2: Oh and bodies. Oh yes, that body language they say

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Speaker 2: they say that vers we speak with the most is

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Speaker 2: that it is body language.

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Speaker 3: They're about to get more bodies.

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Speaker 1: We ended up spending the whole day chatting, flirted and laughing.

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Speaker 2: We hit it off, yeah they did. Yeah, hit it

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Speaker 2: off before you get it off. But here is where

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Speaker 2: it all starts to go wrong. Okay.

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Speaker 3: I could have just taken.

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Speaker 1: It as an ego boost at this beautiful younger woman

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Speaker 1: gave me some of her attention. Could have just waved

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Speaker 1: at her while we put our stuff in our cars

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Speaker 1: at the end of the night. I didn't though. I

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Speaker 1: asked for them digits, big man, dig number, they get

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Speaker 1: your grave.

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Speaker 2: Bro.

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Speaker 1: That was six months ago, and a few days ago

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Speaker 1: she reached back out to me, oh no and told me, an, wait,

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Speaker 1: so they haven't been talking for six months.

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Speaker 3: It seems that they have had no communication.

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Speaker 2: No in communicado.

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Speaker 3: And then she said she is pregnant with his baby.

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Speaker 2: Like no, like heads up, Like you know I'm pregnant

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Speaker 2: with your baby? Well you tell me, like a month in,

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Speaker 2: you know?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Six months in? Absolutely absolutely nothing can be done. Six

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Speaker 2: months in.

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Speaker 3: It's either it's either immediately or eighteen years. I'm going

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Speaker 3: to hell.

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Speaker 1: Don't worry, guys, now, I don't know what the hell

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Speaker 1: I was thinking. I am so fucked. My fourth child

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Speaker 1: is going to be younger than my own grandchild.

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Speaker 2: Good, that's weird. But you know, on the flippity flop,

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Speaker 2: that kid's going to keep you young and youthful into

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Speaker 2: your eighties, you.

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Speaker 3: Know what I mean.

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Speaker 1: It's uh, you know, you'll have a young time. He'll

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Speaker 1: be like, what when eighty seven? When they're forty.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but I don't know, I've pulled that over right

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Speaker 2: when he's when he's when.

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Speaker 3: The kid is twenty, he'll be sixty seven.

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Speaker 1: So that's not even that that's not even that bad,

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Speaker 1: you know, see, Yeah, keeping him young, keeping him young.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, my dad's fifty seven and I'm twenty five. My

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Speaker 2: dad's sixty. Who yeah, exactly five years away. He looks

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Speaker 2: great for sixty.

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Speaker 3: I know. Actually he got on keto and he's got

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Speaker 3: a six pack.

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Speaker 1: He's doing his Oh he's way more fit than me.

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Speaker 2: Damn, that's for sure. My dad, My dad is hell

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Speaker 2: of fit.

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Speaker 3: We should we.

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Speaker 1: Should do a like a one million subscriber exclusive where

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Speaker 1: our dad's fight.

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Speaker 2: Dad, reveal your dad. I've shown you this picture of

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Speaker 2: my dad or.

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Speaker 3: Dad fit check I think you had.

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Speaker 1: I've seen some some beefcakes some steamy, some steamy beef cakes.

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Speaker 2: So this one the one that I wish I could find.

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Speaker 2: He's like, this is like from back in the day

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Speaker 2: when he was bodybuilding, and so it's like, oh you

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Speaker 2: know what I mean, I mean I think I made

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Speaker 2: it private again.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I can't have that out.

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Speaker 2: It's just because my like it's two thirst trappy this

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Speaker 2: this picture, and like I'm like, you know, like one

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Speaker 2: of my James took it, you know, you know James.

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Speaker 2: Yeah that's this one.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that one.

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Speaker 2: This is no one is gonna we'll see it. But

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Speaker 2: it's but that that's a yo, dude, he's fucking yo

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Speaker 2: oiled up. Look how big those biceps. I mean, I

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Speaker 2: wish I had biceps.

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Speaker 1: No massive definition, huge, massive definition huge, And everyone listening

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Speaker 1: can't even see it.

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Speaker 2: So I know, dude, you're you're really missing out.

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Speaker 1: Can you can you give us the We'll do it

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Speaker 1: one day. We'll do a full auditory description. Yeah, his

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Speaker 1: oiled pegs bursting beneath the white fluffy towel baby oil

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Speaker 1: slowly terrific.

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Speaker 3: God, please don't miss listen to this.

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Speaker 1: Don't let our first conversation will be so terrible. All right, Okay, guys,

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Speaker 1: that's your treat for the day.

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Speaker 2: That's what that story.

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Speaker 1: No, oh wow, now she's happy, Like this isn't going

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Speaker 1: to completely ruin my plans for the second half of

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Speaker 1: my life?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean does she even have kids? Like this

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Speaker 2: is like a this is like a thirty or twenty

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Speaker 2: nine year old blessing. Right, she's like biological body clock. Bam.

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Speaker 1: Well, she's like she's at that, she's I think she's

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Speaker 1: right before. I feel like thirty, yeah, that's true, right,

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Speaker 1: I feel like thirties. I feel like when I hear

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Speaker 1: people talking about more like in the thirties that but

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Speaker 1: you're getting there.

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Speaker 3: You're getting there at twenty.

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Speaker 2: It's like, oh, I want to have a kid before, Yeah,

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Speaker 2: you got less eggs. Most most most of the girls

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Speaker 2: I know say like, oh I want to have a

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Speaker 2: kid before thirty four.

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Speaker 3: Thirty yeah, or by thirty yeah yeah. Now.

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Speaker 1: She was never on birth control and was always open

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Speaker 1: with me about that. However, condoms fell by the wayside

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Speaker 1: pretty quickly.

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Speaker 2: As they do, as they do.

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Speaker 1: I kept meaning to make an appointment for a vasectomy,

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Speaker 1: but figured pulling out would be just fine. My ex

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Speaker 1: wife and I had done it for almost a full

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Speaker 1: hot steamy decade, damn, and never had much of a scare.

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Speaker 1: That's a whole lot.

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Speaker 3: My man had a false sense of assurance. Yo.

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Speaker 1: Decades strong. It was almost a pull out king until.

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Speaker 2: The games Yo. Yo, all right, I just gotta like

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Speaker 2: credit where credit is due, but that's probably there. But

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Speaker 2: pull out games strong. They had kids, so like they

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Speaker 2: intentionally had kids. Yeah, but pull out game for a

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Speaker 2: whole decade. Pretty nuts that.

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Speaker 3: I did it. I did it, Sam, Guys.

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Speaker 2: I love it. See I live for the puns, Live

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Speaker 2: for the puns, Live for the puns.

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Speaker 1: This was dumb as hell idiocracy of epic fucking proportions.

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Speaker 1: Learn from my mistakes, because I sure as hell didn't

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Speaker 1: learn from the cautionary sex dead classes.

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Speaker 3: The pull out method is bullshit.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, bunk baby, and there we have it. Woo is

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Speaker 2: it bullshit? I think what I learned from that story

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Speaker 2: is you could do it for ten years. Yeah yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 2: you could do it for ten years and then like

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Speaker 2: but then to never do it again. There's a ten

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Speaker 2: year expiration day on the phone. Thank you Op for

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Speaker 2: explaining the ten year so we got time. So everyone listening, Uh,

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Speaker 2: you know, if you have a penis, have unprotected sex

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Speaker 2: for ten years.

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Speaker 3: I said four ten years. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Or if you know someone with a penis and are

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Speaker 2: having sex with that, tell them, tell them, tell them

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Speaker 2: about the exploration date.

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Speaker 1: I think it's really important. Yeah, tell a friend, tell

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Speaker 1: a friends, spread the word. We're here for true news.

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Speaker 3: Guys.

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Speaker 2: We should we should just sex that class.

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Speaker 3: We really should.

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Speaker 2: I think I think this is our our god given profession, Like,

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Speaker 2: this is what we should do.

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Speaker 1: Samuel Donner in a room full of nine year old

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Speaker 1: fourth graders, Just.

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Speaker 2: Why why you gotta say it like that.

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Speaker 3: You brought into I'm sorry, that was what I I

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Speaker 3: don't know what else to tell you.

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Speaker 2: I was also in fourth grade. It's not weird because

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Speaker 2: I was talking temporily when I was in fourth grade. Man,

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Speaker 2: I ended this episode.

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Speaker 3: I've canceled sale.