WEBVTT - The Amara Transformation 0:00:04.960 --> 0:00:08.799 Yeah, good was popping. This is your host that ain't 0:00:09.240 --> 0:00:12.639 so much listening to exactly a mota. A production of 0:00:12.840 --> 0:00:23.520 My Heart radio show is not the same without my 0:00:23.600 --> 0:00:27.600 co host saving nooness. Doesn't she sound like she's wrapping. 0:00:27.640 --> 0:00:32.320 That's why when she started talking many saving house life 0:00:32.360 --> 0:00:35.080 because today we're doing things a little bit different. Today 0:00:35.120 --> 0:00:38.080 we're at the crib, we're at the house. Well, I'm 0:00:38.080 --> 0:00:40.360 trying to adjust because you know, sometimes they say the 0:00:40.440 --> 0:00:42.440 numbers of COVID are going up because I was in 0:00:42.520 --> 0:00:46.200 the so whatever. I'm just thinking, like, I'm relaxing, enjoying life, 0:00:46.200 --> 0:00:49.519 and I've vaccinated. So I see. You have to you 0:00:49.560 --> 0:00:51.720 have to take care of your family, being your second 0:00:52.360 --> 0:00:54.120 baby hanging like gosh, so you see. I love how 0:00:54.160 --> 0:00:57.120 you multitask. Yes, oh my god, Like right now I 0:00:57.160 --> 0:00:59.680 thought he puts something in his mouth and I almost 0:00:59.680 --> 0:01:05.560 freaked and jumped up. You know, work as well, and 0:01:05.640 --> 0:01:07.400 to be honest, this doesn't even feel like it's work 0:01:07.440 --> 0:01:09.640 because we'll be here basically talking to our friends. And 0:01:09.680 --> 0:01:11.720 by the way, that's what I want to welcome all 0:01:11.760 --> 0:01:14.640 of y'all to another episode. We also want to thank 0:01:14.640 --> 0:01:17.160 you so much every single person that has downloaded the 0:01:17.200 --> 0:01:19.640 app just to show is love and support us. We're 0:01:19.680 --> 0:01:27.760 so grateful and they rated us five stars on our podcast. 0:01:30.720 --> 0:01:36.080 I'm so excited, for real, for real by a star 0:01:38.400 --> 0:01:40.360 and that's thanks to all of you guys for listening. 0:01:40.400 --> 0:01:47.640 So I am most definitely super grateful, five star, five 0:01:47.640 --> 0:01:54.120 star and every day hey listen to meet out Today today, 0:01:54.120 --> 0:01:56.640 I wanted to do something a little bit more serious, 0:01:56.760 --> 0:01:59.480 right because, um, I know that a lot of people 0:01:59.560 --> 0:02:01.680 have an a skining about my weight loss and stuff, 0:02:01.720 --> 0:02:05.840 and I don't want I want to share some stuff. 0:02:06.240 --> 0:02:11.040 There's some things you can't say everything. Maybe on episode fifteen, 0:02:12.320 --> 0:02:14.080 I do want to share a little bit of my 0:02:14.120 --> 0:02:17.440 weight loss journey. And um, for those that may not 0:02:17.560 --> 0:02:20.400 know if you heard the last episode when we had 0:02:20.400 --> 0:02:24.600 our guests, um Dr Miami. I also, um, you know, 0:02:24.720 --> 0:02:26.600 I I said that I had an eating disorder at 0:02:26.600 --> 0:02:28.680 one point in my life, which I'll tell you the truth. 0:02:28.720 --> 0:02:31.720 I don't think you completely heal a thousand percent because 0:02:31.760 --> 0:02:34.320 it's been a little bit hard for me. But I 0:02:34.360 --> 0:02:39.160 think that we've all had some somebody image issues at 0:02:39.200 --> 0:02:42.160 one point in life, have you. Yeah? I mean I 0:02:42.480 --> 0:02:44.280 feel like I go up and down and up and 0:02:44.320 --> 0:02:47.960 down and it's like with the goal ya lasna and 0:02:48.000 --> 0:02:49.400 all of that stuff, Like I don't know what I'm 0:02:49.400 --> 0:02:51.520 gonna do because, first of all, Spanish people we love 0:02:51.600 --> 0:02:55.080 fried food and fried chicken cattle man want. But you know, 0:02:56.520 --> 0:03:02.760 stigma like in the in the Latin community, um, chunkier 0:03:02.840 --> 0:03:07.760 you are, everybody's like Gallin, like Gallina, instead of knowing 0:03:07.840 --> 0:03:12.640 that you're unconsciously creating eating disorder by just like stopping 0:03:12.800 --> 0:03:15.240 food in their face and you know, telling them that 0:03:15.280 --> 0:03:17.800 the fatter you are, the healthier you are. That but 0:03:20.000 --> 0:03:24.840 and don't you're dying. It doesn't work like that. They 0:03:24.919 --> 0:03:27.440 over exaggerated. They were like, oh, you're gonna skin, You're dying, 0:03:27.480 --> 0:03:31.080 Like why can't I just look good like seeing? But 0:03:31.240 --> 0:03:34.120 you know what those are? Those are Latino traditions. Well, 0:03:34.120 --> 0:03:37.080 I don't even know tradition. There's stigmas um that. Like 0:03:37.120 --> 0:03:39.560 I said before, the fatter you are, the cuter you are, 0:03:39.640 --> 0:03:42.000 the skinnier you are, you're sick, You're dying, which is 0:03:42.000 --> 0:03:44.840 obviously not true. And that's why I think it's important 0:03:44.880 --> 0:03:47.440 for the Latin X and this new generation to take 0:03:47.440 --> 0:03:50.520 more control of our health and to gain more knowledge 0:03:50.560 --> 0:03:52.880 on what is what is the right or wrong way 0:03:52.960 --> 0:03:55.160 for you, because that's another thing. What may have worked 0:03:55.160 --> 0:03:58.480 for me may not work for you. Everybody's body, genetics 0:03:58.520 --> 0:04:00.960 and everything is different, you know, So I don't know. 0:04:01.040 --> 0:04:04.120 Let's startup from the beginning, Stevie at In. Well, wait 0:04:04.160 --> 0:04:06.680 a second, so you're really gonna discuss this right now, 0:04:06.680 --> 0:04:14.200 because I'm gonna ask you questions exactly exactly Ada, right now, 0:04:14.240 --> 0:04:16.200 exactly who you are? When did you notice that you 0:04:16.240 --> 0:04:18.719 were paying at touch into your weight? When did that happen? 0:04:19.120 --> 0:04:23.880 When did you say no? You want to know something? 0:04:23.920 --> 0:04:26.480 Ever since I was really young, I always felt self 0:04:26.520 --> 0:04:29.880 conscious about my body because I used to see that 0:04:30.240 --> 0:04:34.760 Kita Like I'm talking about like six seven, eight years old, 0:04:34.760 --> 0:04:37.000 And it's crazy that at such an early age you 0:04:37.040 --> 0:04:39.279 start to notice that your body is different from other girls. 0:04:39.640 --> 0:04:42.200 I my mom had me in like ballet and things 0:04:42.240 --> 0:04:45.160 like that, and the dance teachers are always like, suck 0:04:45.200 --> 0:04:48.960 it up, so halla this, tuck it in, And I 0:04:49.000 --> 0:04:50.720 was like, no matter how much hard, like how much 0:04:50.720 --> 0:04:52.640 I try to tuck it in, my butt is still here, 0:04:53.000 --> 0:04:56.000 My fast is here. It's just the way my body 0:04:56.040 --> 0:05:01.880 is naturally set up. Like the Victoria's Secret autos, like 0:05:02.000 --> 0:05:05.800 long legs, long arms, just like a long neck. I 0:05:05.880 --> 0:05:07.520 just wanted to be like that. But then eventually I 0:05:07.520 --> 0:05:11.479 had to understand your body wasn't designed to look like them, 0:05:11.520 --> 0:05:14.000 you know. So I think at a very early age, um, 0:05:14.240 --> 0:05:16.880 and even for parents, if you have kids at a 0:05:17.000 --> 0:05:19.120 very early age, you may not even know if they're 0:05:19.160 --> 0:05:21.320 being bullied in school because of their way. Whether it 0:05:21.400 --> 0:05:25.039 is skinny, tall, you know, chunky, um, all those things 0:05:25.040 --> 0:05:27.279 really do matter. So you have to be out in 0:05:27.279 --> 0:05:29.840 the lookout for that. For sure. The television and film 0:05:29.920 --> 0:05:34.200 change your thoughts on how you should look like. Did 0:05:34.240 --> 0:05:37.159 you look at an actress and be like, no, I said, 0:05:36.440 --> 0:05:44.520 at least like anybody? Yeah, yeah, for sure, I don't. 0:05:44.560 --> 0:05:47.039 I don't know if there was someone specific. It was 0:05:47.120 --> 0:05:50.760 just looking at the women on TV or on magazine 0:05:50.760 --> 0:05:54.840 covers and just their bodies just you know, say Joe, 0:05:55.200 --> 0:05:58.240 you wouldn't see any study light, no dimples. But I 0:05:58.320 --> 0:06:02.960 need that six paths, long, long legs, flawless skin better 0:06:03.000 --> 0:06:06.000 than Later on, as you grow you learned that half 0:06:06.000 --> 0:06:09.560 of that is photoshop, if not more, you know, but 0:06:09.720 --> 0:06:12.760 you're you're trying to mimic what you see. So yes, 0:06:12.800 --> 0:06:16.120 I definitely wanted to um to change how I look 0:06:16.240 --> 0:06:19.359 to to fit in and be more accepted on on TV. 0:06:21.200 --> 0:06:23.120 And for men, I think it's the same amount. I 0:06:23.120 --> 0:06:25.920 think that we look at these men, especially on only Fans, 0:06:25.920 --> 0:06:29.240 and we're like, wow, if I could only he's like 0:06:29.320 --> 0:06:32.240 an only fan. I mean, you know what. I like 0:06:32.320 --> 0:06:34.160 the fact that you brought that point, because the truth is, 0:06:34.560 --> 0:06:36.599 I feel that it's unfair that I don't think that 0:06:36.600 --> 0:06:39.240 we're talk enough about the pressure than men have the 0:06:39.279 --> 0:06:41.680 men received. I think that when we talk about beauty, 0:06:41.760 --> 0:06:45.240 we usually always talk about women and how women get surgeries, 0:06:45.320 --> 0:06:48.279 this that, all this stuff, But I feel that men 0:06:48.400 --> 0:06:50.880 also have a lot of pressure to look at a 0:06:50.960 --> 0:06:53.880 certain type of way amongst themselves. See for us, it's 0:06:53.920 --> 0:06:56.880 society that puts that pressure on us as women. But 0:06:57.000 --> 0:07:01.560 amongst men, I think amongst them who like all this, 0:07:01.839 --> 0:07:05.320 you know, see who has a bigger arm, who has 0:07:05.360 --> 0:07:08.280 a bigger arms, and who's this, and who's the fittest, 0:07:08.560 --> 0:07:10.320 And it stopped being about your health and now it 0:07:10.400 --> 0:07:14.000 just became about looking good to compete with God knows 0:07:14.040 --> 0:07:19.280 who disorder? What can you tell us about this and 0:07:19.320 --> 0:07:24.160 get into a get to mata? Well about my eating disorder? 0:07:24.280 --> 0:07:26.559 I mean, I don't know exactly how to tell you 0:07:27.240 --> 0:07:28.840 when I'll tell you this. Okay, So this is how 0:07:28.840 --> 0:07:34.720 it started for me. Um so being curvy me means men, 0:07:34.800 --> 0:07:40.440 I got me very latina like, very shapely and um nothing. 0:07:40.680 --> 0:07:45.600 I was in dance classes and one day, I'll never 0:07:45.640 --> 0:07:48.960 forget one day I saw we were in we were 0:07:49.000 --> 0:07:50.760 in the dance rehearsals, and they made us wear like 0:07:50.800 --> 0:07:52.920 sports brawls and booty shorts so that we could look 0:07:52.920 --> 0:07:54.960 at ourselves in the mirror and see that we were fat. 0:07:55.040 --> 0:07:57.000 Because he had like a you know, a standard of 0:07:57.000 --> 0:07:59.880 how you're supposed to look. We're going to competition, duding 0:08:00.440 --> 0:08:02.760 very like that. He I saw that a girl was 0:08:02.800 --> 0:08:05.840 coming out of the bathroom and she was just barfing, barfing, 0:08:06.040 --> 0:08:11.040 throwing up whatever. I went to her and let me, mama, 0:08:11.080 --> 0:08:13.320 what happened? Are you o kids? And that? And she 0:08:13.440 --> 0:08:14.840 was like, oh, no, no, no, it's just that I 0:08:14.880 --> 0:08:16.200 don't want to get any weight. I don't want to 0:08:16.240 --> 0:08:19.600 be fat because we have competition. She didn't even realize 0:08:19.640 --> 0:08:23.640 that that small comment sink into my head. If you 0:08:23.760 --> 0:08:26.480 eat and you throw up, then you don't get in weight. 0:08:26.600 --> 0:08:28.280 But I can still eat it and then I don't 0:08:28.320 --> 0:08:31.240 have to feel bad about it. Huh. Okay, so that's 0:08:31.240 --> 0:08:33.800 how that works. And you're skinny and I'm not, then 0:08:33.840 --> 0:08:36.320 let me start trying it. So then I did it, 0:08:36.840 --> 0:08:42.439 and my dance teacher at the moment was like, what 0:08:42.520 --> 0:08:49.440 has their basil? That's what That's what he told me. 0:08:49.480 --> 0:08:52.160 And actually that's how it started. And never and ever since, 0:08:52.200 --> 0:08:54.160 you know, I used to bench eat. I would have 0:08:54.240 --> 0:08:57.320 like a whole large pizza by myself, with coke and everything, 0:08:57.360 --> 0:08:59.200 and I would just barf it out so that I 0:08:59.240 --> 0:09:02.000 didn't have to feel guilty about, you know, being not 0:09:02.080 --> 0:09:04.280 as skinny as the rest of the girls. And that 0:09:04.400 --> 0:09:07.120 was really bad for me. I actually ended up hospitalized 0:09:07.200 --> 0:09:11.120 in to two occasions for like a week each time. 0:09:11.600 --> 0:09:16.120 The acid uh destroyed my vocal cords for a very 0:09:16.160 --> 0:09:19.560 long time. It was very bad. And I literally went 0:09:19.640 --> 0:09:22.680 from a way in two hundred thirty pounds two because 0:09:22.760 --> 0:09:25.120 I did. I did gain a lot of weight. I 0:09:25.160 --> 0:09:27.280 was going through depression and stuff because you know, issues 0:09:27.320 --> 0:09:30.439 that that were happening in my house with like um, 0:09:30.480 --> 0:09:31.959 you know, there was a lot of like violence and 0:09:32.000 --> 0:09:35.319 stuff like that. At home, my mom was with my stepfather. 0:09:35.559 --> 0:09:38.199 She didn't have no papers, so she had to put 0:09:38.240 --> 0:09:40.600 up with a lot of things that unfortunately I had 0:09:40.640 --> 0:09:43.960 to see, and it was very tough, and just my 0:09:44.120 --> 0:09:46.960 fear made me eat, and that was my comfort zone, 0:09:47.000 --> 0:09:51.400 just eating and hiding away in my room. Even nah, 0:09:51.800 --> 0:09:54.319 I went from to thirty to thirty, I literally lost 0:09:54.360 --> 0:09:57.600 a hundred pounds, but like in a couple of months, 0:09:58.080 --> 0:10:00.920 really bad. I looked sick. I just feel happy because 0:10:00.960 --> 0:10:03.760 I was skinny. So I just think it's a it's 0:10:03.800 --> 0:10:06.280 a it's a disorder mentally. You know, it's not just 0:10:06.360 --> 0:10:09.240 the eating part, but it's a mental condition because even 0:10:09.280 --> 0:10:11.280 after you lose the weight, you look at yourself in 0:10:11.280 --> 0:10:14.600 the mirror and you still see yourself as you used 0:10:14.640 --> 0:10:18.760 to look. It's real. You're absolutely right because I remember 0:10:18.760 --> 0:10:21.480 my senior year in high school. I look back at 0:10:21.520 --> 0:10:26.640 these photos and I literally looked like a worm, and 0:10:26.960 --> 0:10:30.760 I thought that I was so like like, you know, 0:10:31.080 --> 0:10:33.240 I guess fat, I guess that's the word. Like I 0:10:33.280 --> 0:10:36.040 thought I was overweight. And it was like wow at 0:10:36.080 --> 0:10:39.640 such a young age, because due to television, why do 0:10:39.760 --> 0:10:44.120 we create this kind of you know, crazy self esteem 0:10:44.440 --> 0:10:47.600 and low self esteem And it's just like it starts 0:10:47.600 --> 0:10:49.440 at a really young age, and people think that, you know, 0:10:49.480 --> 0:10:51.360 the youth, they don't really go through that, or they 0:10:51.360 --> 0:10:53.120 don't go through anything, or they don't really stress what 0:10:53.160 --> 0:10:55.320 you got stressed about. You don't have bals, you don't 0:10:55.360 --> 0:10:56.840 have that, but you don't know that it starts at 0:10:56.880 --> 0:10:59.160 a very young age. And the word that I was 0:10:59.200 --> 0:11:02.480 looking for was called play. How like I think like 0:11:02.559 --> 0:11:12.599 I had was real? Yeah, I mean it's terrible. I 0:11:13.480 --> 0:11:17.600 did recover from it, Um, I stopped for many years. 0:11:17.960 --> 0:11:20.880 But I'm going to tell you the truth. I don't 0:11:20.920 --> 0:11:23.280 think and I know that a lot of people that 0:11:23.320 --> 0:11:26.760 have suffer suffered from bolimia can relate to me. I 0:11:26.800 --> 0:11:31.440 don't think you completely heal a thousand percent. Having an 0:11:31.480 --> 0:11:34.800 eating disorder is like to me personally, because I can 0:11:34.880 --> 0:11:37.360 only speak from my own personal experience. It's like being 0:11:37.360 --> 0:11:41.440 a drug addict, because even when you heal, there's certain 0:11:41.520 --> 0:11:45.120 moments where temptation comes and it just makes you want 0:11:45.160 --> 0:11:48.280 to do it. I've had moments to this day. I'm 0:11:48.320 --> 0:11:51.360 not proud of it. That's why I'm I'm openly talking 0:11:51.400 --> 0:11:55.440 about it, and I'm being honest and transparent. To this day, 0:11:55.640 --> 0:11:59.600 I've had moments where I've been depressed, stressed out or 0:11:59.640 --> 0:12:02.959 whatever the case, maybe and my anxiety will be like, 0:12:03.280 --> 0:12:06.040 well then just eat. It's a mental condition, It really is, 0:12:06.160 --> 0:12:09.319 especially in this industry, the entertainment industry, makes you feel 0:12:09.360 --> 0:12:13.520 so much pressure to be flawless, to be perfect your nose, 0:12:13.559 --> 0:12:16.280 your skin, your body, your stomach, your boobs, your ask, 0:12:16.360 --> 0:12:19.400 your thighs. You it's a lot. And I don't feel 0:12:19.400 --> 0:12:23.559 like people really understand how much pressure these women feel. 0:12:23.559 --> 0:12:25.320 And not to mention the fact that we're living up 0:12:25.760 --> 0:12:28.720 you know, face tune and all these apps that you 0:12:28.840 --> 0:12:32.200 used to fix yourself, and we're comparing real life to 0:12:32.360 --> 0:12:36.080 these photoshop pictures and images. And now I think the 0:12:36.120 --> 0:12:38.240 things have changed. It is no longer so much about 0:12:38.240 --> 0:12:40.480 being skinny. Yes, a lot of it is like, oh, 0:12:40.480 --> 0:12:42.800 you have to lose weight, But now it's become the 0:12:42.880 --> 0:12:45.480 era of the surgery era, which is why we had 0:12:45.559 --> 0:12:48.480 Dr Miami last week. Now I feel that the pressure 0:12:48.520 --> 0:12:51.160 has become of like, if you don't look the way 0:12:51.160 --> 0:12:54.160 that you want to look, then just you know that, 0:12:54.280 --> 0:13:01.080 ain't you want to resolve everything? You to resolve everything 0:13:01.280 --> 0:13:05.280 with surgery. And yes, these these filtures, which by the way, 0:13:05.320 --> 0:13:08.520 I love these filtures make you realize like, oh my god, 0:13:08.720 --> 0:13:11.000 I should have my nose more snaps, Oh my god, 0:13:11.240 --> 0:13:15.200 I shouldn't have my jawline, or I need to have this, 0:13:15.360 --> 0:13:18.280 or I need to do this. It's a lot of pressure. 0:13:18.320 --> 0:13:21.160 I can't wait till cellulite and being fat and stretch 0:13:21.240 --> 0:13:23.360 marks are in style, because I'm gonna be a bad bit. 0:13:23.880 --> 0:13:26.199 So what kind of helps you see as far as 0:13:26.240 --> 0:13:31.560 like therapy, And you know in the they like frown 0:13:31.679 --> 0:13:34.880 upon therapy, So you really did therapy, which is great. 0:13:35.240 --> 0:13:38.240 So no, my therapy. It is true, and I'm so 0:13:38.280 --> 0:13:39.840 glad that you said it, because it is true. A 0:13:39.880 --> 0:13:51.200 month community getting therapy is like, yeah, you're gonna spend money. 0:13:51.960 --> 0:13:53.760 So if someone can tell you what you already know that. 0:13:54.280 --> 0:13:56.520 So for me, I had to do more of like 0:13:56.600 --> 0:14:00.320 self healing. And it takes a lot for you to 0:14:00.360 --> 0:14:02.840 be able to heal yourself. It takes a lot for 0:14:02.880 --> 0:14:04.840 you to be able. But I guess that because I 0:14:04.880 --> 0:14:08.280 have that single child only child syndrome, I'm accustomed to 0:14:08.280 --> 0:14:10.760 talking to myself and playing with myself and answering myself, 0:14:10.760 --> 0:14:13.599 and you know, but I had to like just disconnect. 0:14:13.960 --> 0:14:15.440 It just took me. It took me a lot of 0:14:15.440 --> 0:14:17.440 like self healing. You know, I just have to like 0:14:17.480 --> 0:14:19.880 talk to myself and accept myself and understand that I 0:14:19.920 --> 0:14:22.400 am one in a million. I am unique. I am 0:14:22.480 --> 0:14:25.920 only like out of seven billion human beings on this planet. 0:14:25.960 --> 0:14:29.160 God only made one of me. My body, what I have, 0:14:29.400 --> 0:14:33.160 my brain, my personality, everything that I am is exactly 0:14:33.160 --> 0:14:37.400 on my It's exactly and it's exactly who I'm supposed 0:14:37.440 --> 0:14:39.720 to be. And it takes a long time for you 0:14:39.720 --> 0:14:42.320 don't understand that. And I was able to understand that. 0:14:42.400 --> 0:14:44.960 And now even more now that I've done like this 0:14:45.080 --> 0:14:48.800 body transformation once again. Um, now that I've lost like 0:14:48.880 --> 0:14:54.680 sixty pounds, my mentality has also transformed with this body, 0:14:54.880 --> 0:14:58.320 uh you know weight loss. Now I'm more concerned about 0:14:58.320 --> 0:15:03.520 my mindset than I was about my body before that 0:15:06.640 --> 0:15:11.920 body that all that stuff, And I still like that. 0:15:12.800 --> 0:15:15.120 I still like that because of course, but I feel like, 0:15:15.200 --> 0:15:18.520 no matter what, even if my body has changed, is 0:15:18.560 --> 0:15:21.640 still good. My dog's still good and that's what matters. Okay, 0:15:22.040 --> 0:15:26.000 all my weight went to my toldo was popping. But 0:15:28.920 --> 0:15:30.880 I just think that now I'm more concerned about, like 0:15:30.960 --> 0:15:34.360 where is my mind a becoming more more intellectual becoming 0:15:34.400 --> 0:15:37.520 more strong mentally, you know, that makes me more of 0:15:37.560 --> 0:15:39.600 a woman, the type of woman that I want to 0:15:39.640 --> 0:15:41.880 be that's not just so focused on my body. So 0:15:42.480 --> 0:15:44.600 I think you have to have a balance better. Regardless, 0:15:44.760 --> 0:15:46.920 I definitely want to know what you guys think of 0:15:47.000 --> 0:15:49.640 this topic. Have you ever had an eating disorder? Do 0:15:49.720 --> 0:15:51.640 you understand where I'm coming from? Do you have a 0:15:51.680 --> 0:15:53.880 family member or you know someone that has had an 0:15:53.880 --> 0:15:56.680 eating disorder? How has it been for you or how 0:15:56.720 --> 0:15:59.040 have you been a support system for them? Let us 0:15:59.080 --> 0:16:02.920 know at exactly Amata on Instagram, Twitter. We will be 0:16:03.120 --> 0:16:10.280 right back with more Exactly Welcome back to our very 0:16:10.440 --> 0:16:15.600 juicy conversation. You're finally giving us exactly a Mada. What 0:16:15.800 --> 0:16:18.880 can you tell? And we were speaking obviously about your 0:16:18.920 --> 0:16:23.520 eating disorder and you finally it wasn't an eating disorder? Yeah, 0:16:23.960 --> 0:16:26.960 I mean I had it. Now I currently have feels 0:16:27.040 --> 0:16:33.160 from it. I've already recovered. Now. My question is to 0:16:33.320 --> 0:16:35.840 a man or a woman that's going through this, what 0:16:36.080 --> 0:16:39.760 can you say to them? Um, if you're going through it, 0:16:41.000 --> 0:16:46.400 you have to have you have to have some individual 0:16:46.720 --> 0:16:52.800 personal healing with yourself like this means um going away 0:16:53.000 --> 0:16:56.920 talking to yourself understanding yourself, understanding that you are one 0:16:57.000 --> 0:16:59.720 in a million, understanding that your body will be with 0:16:59.880 --> 0:17:01.360 you for the rest of your life and you have 0:17:01.520 --> 0:17:03.080 to take care of it and you have to love 0:17:03.160 --> 0:17:06.360 it like this is literally a machine. Sometimes we can 0:17:06.400 --> 0:17:09.320 be so ungrateful with our bodies and mistreat it so much. 0:17:09.720 --> 0:17:13.520 It hard knows because sometimes don't mem I talked a 0:17:13.560 --> 0:17:15.120 lot of ship. I talked to it all the time. 0:17:15.440 --> 0:17:19.239 I look at my fasts, I hate my boobs, look 0:17:19.240 --> 0:17:23.960 at my face, and it's like going, noo, stop complaining. 0:17:24.200 --> 0:17:27.280 You're beautiful, You're blessed. There's so many people that wish 0:17:27.359 --> 0:17:29.720 they had your body, that wish they had your arms, 0:17:29.760 --> 0:17:32.480 your legs, just who you are. So sometimes I just 0:17:32.520 --> 0:17:34.280 feel that we can be very ungrateful, and it's just 0:17:34.680 --> 0:17:38.600 coming from a place of gratitude and understanding that this 0:17:38.840 --> 0:17:40.879 is you, this is your body. You're not meant to 0:17:40.920 --> 0:17:42.920 look like anybody else. You're not meant to be a 0:17:42.960 --> 0:17:45.920 copy paste. Not everybody's gonna look like Kim Kardashian. Yeah, 0:17:46.080 --> 0:17:47.600 even though you can buy it, but you don't have 0:17:47.800 --> 0:17:51.280 to look at women out there that do look like 0:17:51.400 --> 0:17:53.840 Kim Kardashian and pay for see, because and I understand 0:17:53.880 --> 0:17:57.600 if you're an inspiration other women. See if you're an 0:17:57.640 --> 0:18:00.000 inspiration for other women's based on your body, because it's 0:18:00.000 --> 0:18:01.640 okay if you like somebody's body, like oh my god, 0:18:01.640 --> 0:18:03.440 I wouldn't have her ask that it go do you. 0:18:03.880 --> 0:18:05.800 But I'm just saying, do it because you want to, 0:18:06.080 --> 0:18:07.440 don't do it because you feel that you have to 0:18:07.480 --> 0:18:10.880 fit in. That's basically what I'm saying. And then that's 0:18:10.960 --> 0:18:12.840 that's what you're going through it. If you're planning on 0:18:12.960 --> 0:18:16.440 going through it. Hello, memo that I just said, Like, 0:18:16.600 --> 0:18:19.280 stop trying to be like everybody else. Just accept you 0:18:19.400 --> 0:18:22.240 for who you are and become the better version of you. 0:18:22.920 --> 0:18:25.760 Like you have to accept your body. That's the only 0:18:25.960 --> 0:18:28.600 way you can come out of it. Because let me 0:18:28.680 --> 0:18:31.200 tell you, between you and me and me and you, 0:18:32.440 --> 0:18:34.560 in the process of me being the limit and stuff 0:18:35.160 --> 0:18:38.600 I was trying to I was literally pushing and trying 0:18:38.720 --> 0:18:42.280 myself to do the crossover into being anorexic because it 0:18:42.400 --> 0:18:45.560 becomes addictive. I would wait myself a thousand time and 0:18:45.600 --> 0:18:48.679 am Inyana in the morning, I would be wait myself. 0:18:48.880 --> 0:18:51.399 I would take a ship, waite myself and then if 0:18:51.440 --> 0:18:53.760 I get a little bit that's it. I'm not eating 0:18:53.800 --> 0:18:55.399 all day till I go back to my you know, 0:18:55.560 --> 0:18:58.800 it was really really bad. And there's a lot of websites, 0:18:58.920 --> 0:19:02.119 crazy enough. There's a lot of pro anna which is 0:19:02.160 --> 0:19:05.120 what it's called pro anna um websites where they give 0:19:05.160 --> 0:19:09.440 you tips on how to become an eratic. And I 0:19:09.560 --> 0:19:12.399 also want to clarify something. There's a lot of women 0:19:12.480 --> 0:19:14.439 that are thin. There's a lot of women that are 0:19:14.480 --> 0:19:18.520 petite because that's just naturally who they are. And you know, 0:19:19.280 --> 0:19:21.600 some Bay yet Vina, you're you're beautiful. You know what 0:19:21.640 --> 0:19:23.520 I'm saying. If this is how your body is naturally 0:19:23.560 --> 0:19:26.680 set up, my most highest respects to you because I'm 0:19:26.680 --> 0:19:30.440 bo I wanna I want them to we're shading on them. Noaa. 0:19:30.760 --> 0:19:34.200 And if you're a little chunky or whatever that, enjoy 0:19:34.280 --> 0:19:37.000 and embrace your curves some being as long as you're healthy. 0:19:37.520 --> 0:19:41.639 You recently lost sixty pounds. How do you manage this? 0:19:41.880 --> 0:19:46.960 Knowing you have had weight struggles before. But I'm gonna 0:19:47.000 --> 0:19:50.680 tell you this, um, I think that a lot of 0:19:50.840 --> 0:19:53.440 us gained a little, you know, a couple of pounds 0:19:53.560 --> 0:19:56.200 during the pandemic. We all got really comfortable because God 0:19:56.320 --> 0:19:59.080 knows I did. I got really comfortable. I didn't even 0:19:59.160 --> 0:20:01.639 notice when it's steady gaining weight. And I went to 0:20:01.720 --> 0:20:04.280 the Dominican Republic to do a music video because I 0:20:04.359 --> 0:20:06.320 was like, we're in the pandemic. I haven't put out 0:20:06.400 --> 0:20:08.879 music in a really long time. I just want to 0:20:08.920 --> 0:20:11.440 feel productive. So I went and I did the music 0:20:11.560 --> 0:20:15.560 video for TikTok because TikTok was super booming during pandemic time. 0:20:15.920 --> 0:20:17.000 And I was like, we no, let me do this 0:20:17.080 --> 0:20:19.840 TikTok song and maybe oh become a little wave, you 0:20:19.880 --> 0:20:23.240 know on social media. Um. But then when I did it, 0:20:23.320 --> 0:20:24.920 and I saw a moment a year and when I 0:20:25.000 --> 0:20:28.359 saw how I looked, I was like, because in length, 0:20:28.440 --> 0:20:32.600 it just takes one picture, one video, one I don't know, 0:20:32.640 --> 0:20:34.480 if you walk by the mirror and your naked, it 0:20:34.560 --> 0:20:36.720 just takes one moment for you to be like, this 0:20:37.000 --> 0:20:40.879 is me, what happened? And I'm accustomed being you know, 0:20:41.359 --> 0:20:44.000 the sex symbol and being hot and all this other stuff. 0:20:44.520 --> 0:20:46.199 And I just didn't realize that I had gained all 0:20:46.240 --> 0:20:49.879 that weight. I don't even know how it happened. I 0:20:50.000 --> 0:20:52.960 just know that, you know, I was home aiding, not 0:20:53.200 --> 0:20:56.800 working out, not being physically active obviously as I was before. 0:20:56.920 --> 0:20:58.840 You know that when I gained all the weight, I 0:20:58.960 --> 0:21:00.680 just felt like I need to do something about it. 0:21:00.840 --> 0:21:03.360 And in the process of me doing something, it originally 0:21:03.359 --> 0:21:06.399 started with me checking my health and I was like, 0:21:06.800 --> 0:21:08.639 I'm gonna take this time now that I have so 0:21:08.800 --> 0:21:10.920 much free time to literally go to the doctors and 0:21:11.080 --> 0:21:13.120 check every single part of me. I was doing every 0:21:13.160 --> 0:21:17.200 single blood test, that was doing everything. Like I said 0:21:17.280 --> 0:21:21.200 later on on episode fifteen, I will talk to you 0:21:21.320 --> 0:21:25.159 guys more about what really caused me to lose you 0:21:25.240 --> 0:21:28.680 know a lot of the way. And like I said it, 0:21:28.800 --> 0:21:33.320 it originally started with health issues. Um, I found out 0:21:33.400 --> 0:21:36.359 that I had I currently still have. You know, my 0:21:36.480 --> 0:21:39.480 body is not functioning the way to post soon. And 0:21:40.800 --> 0:21:43.919 in that journey, I just said, when I do need 0:21:44.000 --> 0:21:46.280 to take control of my body and my health, and 0:21:46.400 --> 0:21:49.359 I started to detox I started to use more organic 0:21:49.440 --> 0:21:53.560 and natural products, um, you know, working out lightly as 0:21:53.640 --> 0:21:55.360 long as you know, I was just trying to put 0:21:55.440 --> 0:21:58.359 down the weight. Later on, like I said, I'll get 0:21:58.400 --> 0:22:02.760 into the details. I am currently okay. I'm okay because 0:22:02.760 --> 0:22:05.119 I'm still here, but it's still something that I have 0:22:05.240 --> 0:22:07.920 to deal with and and away from that. You know, 0:22:08.000 --> 0:22:12.320