1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:02,640 Speaker 1: Something a lot of people, including myself, struggle with, is 2 00:00:02,720 --> 00:00:05,680 Speaker 1: the negative talk and the feeling of guilt and disappointment 3 00:00:05,680 --> 00:00:08,399 Speaker 1: in ourself if we do fall off or go back 4 00:00:08,400 --> 00:00:11,200 Speaker 1: into our lower habits. So you tell yourself you're a failure, 5 00:00:11,240 --> 00:00:14,440 Speaker 1: you haven't done well, you haven't succeeded. That negative thought 6 00:00:14,440 --> 00:00:17,319 Speaker 1: pattern intersects the positive thought pattern, So even if you 7 00:00:17,320 --> 00:00:19,320 Speaker 1: were thinking him getting back on track, you are constantly 8 00:00:19,360 --> 00:00:22,320 Speaker 1: pulling yourself down and telling yourself that you don't even 9 00:00:22,320 --> 00:00:25,520 Speaker 1: deserve to get back on this positive habit. I'm Rady 10 00:00:25,640 --> 00:00:28,440 Speaker 1: Wukiah and on my podcast A Really Good Cry, we 11 00:00:28,480 --> 00:00:32,519 Speaker 1: embrace the messy and the beautiful, providing a space for raw, 12 00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:36,760 Speaker 1: unfiltered conversations that celebrate vulnerability and allow you to tune 13 00:00:36,800 --> 00:00:40,440 Speaker 1: in to learn, connect and find comfort together. Hey everyone, 14 00:00:40,680 --> 00:00:43,640 Speaker 1: welcome back to this week's episode of A Really Good Cry. 15 00:00:44,200 --> 00:00:46,880 Speaker 1: I hope that you have had such a lovely, heartwarming, 16 00:00:47,240 --> 00:00:51,040 Speaker 1: belly filling, magical Christmas and New Year. I recommend listening 17 00:00:51,200 --> 00:00:53,519 Speaker 1: to the last solo episode that I did if you 18 00:00:53,520 --> 00:00:56,520 Speaker 1: haven't heard it yet. It's on manifesting and goal setting, 19 00:00:56,600 --> 00:00:58,920 Speaker 1: and it is a great episode to get you in 20 00:00:58,960 --> 00:01:02,080 Speaker 1: the mood and mindset for dreaming and thinking big for 21 00:01:02,160 --> 00:01:04,760 Speaker 1: this year. Now, I honestly find New Year's goals a 22 00:01:04,800 --> 00:01:08,760 Speaker 1: little overwhelming. I feel like everyone's energy online is new, yeah, 23 00:01:08,880 --> 00:01:12,200 Speaker 1: new you, But really most people are just feeling sheer panic. 24 00:01:12,760 --> 00:01:14,920 Speaker 1: Everyone is just trying to get ahead and trying to 25 00:01:14,959 --> 00:01:17,920 Speaker 1: create new habits, trying to stick to their new habits, 26 00:01:18,200 --> 00:01:21,480 Speaker 1: make new plans, or become a whole new person. Or 27 00:01:21,520 --> 00:01:23,720 Speaker 1: if you're anything like me, you're probably just trying to 28 00:01:23,760 --> 00:01:26,160 Speaker 1: crawl your way back onto the train of life again. 29 00:01:27,200 --> 00:01:29,640 Speaker 1: So for any of you who are struggling to get 30 00:01:29,640 --> 00:01:32,920 Speaker 1: yourself back on track, I hope that this episode will 31 00:01:32,920 --> 00:01:36,360 Speaker 1: help you. This one is definitely for you people. One 32 00:01:36,400 --> 00:01:37,640 Speaker 1: thing I want you to take out of your head 33 00:01:37,640 --> 00:01:40,640 Speaker 1: first and foremost is that by falling off track, that 34 00:01:40,680 --> 00:01:43,560 Speaker 1: you have failed in some way. Because listen, we are 35 00:01:43,560 --> 00:01:46,800 Speaker 1: all human, We're not robots, and falling off track is 36 00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:49,600 Speaker 1: not failure. It's just part of the ebbs and flows 37 00:01:49,640 --> 00:01:53,160 Speaker 1: of life. Even the most successful people in the world 38 00:01:53,320 --> 00:01:55,560 Speaker 1: slip up on their habits, and it's not just their 39 00:01:55,560 --> 00:01:58,560 Speaker 1: willpower or motivation that makes them successful. It is their 40 00:01:58,600 --> 00:02:02,120 Speaker 1: ability to fall and get back on track quickly. It's 41 00:02:02,160 --> 00:02:04,680 Speaker 1: their ability to bounce back from the nose and the 42 00:02:04,720 --> 00:02:09,160 Speaker 1: failures and the derailing, because there will be times where 43 00:02:09,240 --> 00:02:12,280 Speaker 1: following your regular routine or your ideal routine is just 44 00:02:12,320 --> 00:02:15,280 Speaker 1: not possible, whether it's busy workdays, or having a child 45 00:02:15,320 --> 00:02:18,480 Speaker 1: that's sick, or maybe just not feeling up to it mentally. 46 00:02:18,760 --> 00:02:21,320 Speaker 1: And actually, sometimes you just need a break from your 47 00:02:21,400 --> 00:02:24,360 Speaker 1: usual schedule. I know I needed that this Christmas. Sometimes 48 00:02:24,400 --> 00:02:26,880 Speaker 1: you just need time off from your extreme discipline, the 49 00:02:26,960 --> 00:02:31,120 Speaker 1: regular schedule that you're used to, the timings, the work schedule. 50 00:02:31,200 --> 00:02:33,520 Speaker 1: You just need a break. But if you are ready 51 00:02:33,560 --> 00:02:36,280 Speaker 1: to get back into your better habits and your motivation 52 00:02:36,400 --> 00:02:39,679 Speaker 1: isn't quite there, maybe your willpowers flickering a little bit, 53 00:02:40,240 --> 00:02:43,120 Speaker 1: what you really need is reliable strategies that can pull 54 00:02:43,160 --> 00:02:46,000 Speaker 1: you back on track whenever you fall off. I have 55 00:02:46,080 --> 00:02:48,400 Speaker 1: definitely been through these ebbs and flows a lot, and 56 00:02:48,440 --> 00:02:50,760 Speaker 1: I know that this journey is not easy, and I 57 00:02:50,800 --> 00:02:52,920 Speaker 1: know it very well. So I wanted to share some 58 00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:55,799 Speaker 1: of the things that have actually really helped me. I've 59 00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:58,600 Speaker 1: tried and tested many things, but I thought I share 60 00:02:58,639 --> 00:03:00,520 Speaker 1: some of the ones that really stuck with me and 61 00:03:00,600 --> 00:03:03,640 Speaker 1: I found super useful. So, first of all, when you're 62 00:03:03,639 --> 00:03:05,560 Speaker 1: thinking of getting back on track, you really have to 63 00:03:05,600 --> 00:03:08,960 Speaker 1: decide do you want to truly get back on track, 64 00:03:09,160 --> 00:03:11,200 Speaker 1: meaning getting back to the same good habits that you 65 00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:14,079 Speaker 1: already had in place before, or do you want to 66 00:03:14,120 --> 00:03:16,800 Speaker 1: get on a whole new track. So really figuring that 67 00:03:16,840 --> 00:03:19,639 Speaker 1: out is useful because sometimes we can just be on autopilot. 68 00:03:19,680 --> 00:03:21,959 Speaker 1: Right You're going back to the same routine that you've 69 00:03:21,960 --> 00:03:24,600 Speaker 1: had for years and years and years, and you're just 70 00:03:24,720 --> 00:03:28,280 Speaker 1: jumping back into it, that same rhythm, the same morning routine, 71 00:03:28,280 --> 00:03:31,040 Speaker 1: the same work routine, the same evening routine. You just 72 00:03:31,080 --> 00:03:33,720 Speaker 1: get back into this rhythm. But sometimes you have to 73 00:03:33,760 --> 00:03:35,720 Speaker 1: reflect on whether that is the route that is still 74 00:03:35,760 --> 00:03:38,920 Speaker 1: serving you or helping you grow, or inspiring you or 75 00:03:39,040 --> 00:03:41,640 Speaker 1: bringing you joy, because that is what is so important 76 00:03:41,640 --> 00:03:45,880 Speaker 1: in life. Is this routine is this track doing what 77 00:03:45,920 --> 00:03:48,080 Speaker 1: I needed to do for me? Is this track bringing 78 00:03:48,120 --> 00:03:51,120 Speaker 1: me joy? Is this track helping me achieve what I 79 00:03:51,120 --> 00:03:54,080 Speaker 1: want to achieve? And I think either way, the first 80 00:03:54,080 --> 00:03:56,800 Speaker 1: step is recognition. So you have to ask yourself what 81 00:03:56,880 --> 00:04:00,280 Speaker 1: habits am I trying to build or rebuild? Is it 82 00:04:00,320 --> 00:04:02,720 Speaker 1: eating better? Is it working out? Is it a project 83 00:04:02,800 --> 00:04:05,880 Speaker 1: you want to complete? Is it actually creating a morning 84 00:04:05,960 --> 00:04:08,760 Speaker 1: or evening routine. And then what are the steps I 85 00:04:08,800 --> 00:04:10,840 Speaker 1: need to take, the things that I need to change 86 00:04:10,880 --> 00:04:13,640 Speaker 1: to start again. But then what are the things that 87 00:04:13,680 --> 00:04:16,120 Speaker 1: I need to also maintain this practice or golf Because 88 00:04:16,120 --> 00:04:19,240 Speaker 1: starting something is easy, but continuing it is what's difficult. 89 00:04:19,720 --> 00:04:21,840 Speaker 1: I actually heard someone call the things that make us 90 00:04:21,880 --> 00:04:25,479 Speaker 1: feel good golden behaviors, and I really love that Golden behaviors. 91 00:04:25,839 --> 00:04:28,240 Speaker 1: They are the things that you know will always make 92 00:04:28,279 --> 00:04:31,279 Speaker 1: you feel good after doing them. So identifying them and 93 00:04:31,320 --> 00:04:33,960 Speaker 1: then identifying the hurdles so that you can adapt your 94 00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:37,320 Speaker 1: day or your lifestyle to avoid those hurdles is just 95 00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:39,280 Speaker 1: the beginning. And then you can pick one or two 96 00:04:39,360 --> 00:04:41,839 Speaker 1: of them to get started on. And then the next 97 00:04:41,839 --> 00:04:44,719 Speaker 1: step is scheduling those habits or practices because let me 98 00:04:44,760 --> 00:04:46,800 Speaker 1: tell you, you will think you're able to stick to 99 00:04:46,839 --> 00:04:50,320 Speaker 1: them forever. At the start, because you're excited, the adrenaline 100 00:04:50,400 --> 00:04:54,360 Speaker 1: is pumping, you have new year, New Year energy in you, 101 00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:57,200 Speaker 1: and all the motivation that you need to get started. 102 00:04:57,480 --> 00:05:00,719 Speaker 1: But from my experience, some of that motiva is just 103 00:05:00,839 --> 00:05:05,159 Speaker 1: rooted in absolute delusion. I like to call it being 104 00:05:05,160 --> 00:05:09,120 Speaker 1: a delusional optimist, and I am the Queen of delusional optimism. 105 00:05:09,640 --> 00:05:12,320 Speaker 1: I actually was going to call this podcast delusional Optimist, 106 00:05:12,480 --> 00:05:15,000 Speaker 1: because I really think it represents my mind so perfectly 107 00:05:15,600 --> 00:05:18,320 Speaker 1: in so many ways. But for this example, let's say 108 00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:20,400 Speaker 1: you're trying to commit to a workout. You have to 109 00:05:20,400 --> 00:05:22,200 Speaker 1: book in the classes at the top of the year, 110 00:05:22,400 --> 00:05:24,400 Speaker 1: or you need to know exactly what routine you're going 111 00:05:24,480 --> 00:05:27,360 Speaker 1: to be doing at home and then decide what time 112 00:05:27,680 --> 00:05:30,719 Speaker 1: every single day you will do that workout. It just 113 00:05:30,800 --> 00:05:34,279 Speaker 1: increases your chances of doing them because I find there's 114 00:05:34,320 --> 00:05:38,440 Speaker 1: this sense of accountability, and even better, if it's scheduled 115 00:05:38,480 --> 00:05:40,960 Speaker 1: on your phone or on your calendar, your mind is 116 00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:43,640 Speaker 1: just constantly aware of it. You get your notifications about it, 117 00:05:43,680 --> 00:05:46,520 Speaker 1: you get your reminders about it. You're kind of already 118 00:05:46,520 --> 00:05:49,719 Speaker 1: prepping for a subconsciously before you even do the practice, 119 00:05:49,839 --> 00:05:51,920 Speaker 1: and so you're more likely to stick to it. Your 120 00:05:51,920 --> 00:05:54,400 Speaker 1: body wants to be prepared for things. It doesn't like surprises, 121 00:05:54,520 --> 00:05:58,200 Speaker 1: and so like, I just find that this scheduling process 122 00:05:58,240 --> 00:06:00,719 Speaker 1: helps your body and your mind adjusted this new habit. 123 00:06:00,880 --> 00:06:03,000 Speaker 1: One thing that I find difficult is living in my feelings. 124 00:06:03,120 --> 00:06:04,719 Speaker 1: I don't know about any of you, but this is 125 00:06:04,720 --> 00:06:08,239 Speaker 1: by far the biggest and most important part of trying 126 00:06:08,240 --> 00:06:12,520 Speaker 1: to get back on track and move into better habits. Feelings, moods, 127 00:06:12,560 --> 00:06:16,760 Speaker 1: and emotions are so fleeting. My feelings and emotions are 128 00:06:16,839 --> 00:06:19,640 Speaker 1: changing on an hourly basis. And the problem is that 129 00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:21,600 Speaker 1: most of us live our life through them. We make 130 00:06:21,640 --> 00:06:24,000 Speaker 1: decisions based on them, and then they can end up 131 00:06:24,040 --> 00:06:26,719 Speaker 1: really dictating what we do or don't do during the day. 132 00:06:27,279 --> 00:06:30,200 Speaker 1: So let's say you go to bed and you plan 133 00:06:30,320 --> 00:06:33,680 Speaker 1: to wake up early to do your workout. You've set 134 00:06:33,680 --> 00:06:35,479 Speaker 1: your alarm, you've already started preparing for it, you've set 135 00:06:35,480 --> 00:06:38,239 Speaker 1: out your clothes that night before, you're prepped, You're ready 136 00:06:38,240 --> 00:06:40,640 Speaker 1: to go. You go to sleep, the alarm goes off, 137 00:06:40,680 --> 00:06:43,159 Speaker 1: and the first thing your body and mind say is 138 00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:46,240 Speaker 1: go back to sleep. You don't want to get up. 139 00:06:46,680 --> 00:06:50,560 Speaker 1: Don't get up. You deserve this rest, You deserve to 140 00:06:50,720 --> 00:06:53,880 Speaker 1: lie in for another hour working out. Do you really 141 00:06:53,920 --> 00:06:56,000 Speaker 1: need that in your life? What you really need is sleep. 142 00:06:56,080 --> 00:06:59,920 Speaker 1: And so your behavior has directly been impacted just by 143 00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:02,120 Speaker 1: you're feeling in the morning. And so I think we 144 00:07:02,200 --> 00:07:03,680 Speaker 1: just had this false narrative in our mind that we 145 00:07:03,720 --> 00:07:05,600 Speaker 1: have to feel good before we do something. We need 146 00:07:05,640 --> 00:07:07,720 Speaker 1: to have a positive feeling about it before we do it. 147 00:07:08,320 --> 00:07:11,360 Speaker 1: That's so far from the truth. The fact is, instead 148 00:07:11,360 --> 00:07:13,880 Speaker 1: of framing it as I think I want to do something, 149 00:07:14,280 --> 00:07:16,880 Speaker 1: I feel like doing something, and then I do something, 150 00:07:17,160 --> 00:07:19,920 Speaker 1: it should actually be I think about doing something, I 151 00:07:20,120 --> 00:07:23,160 Speaker 1: do the thing, and then I feel the feeling. So 152 00:07:23,280 --> 00:07:25,480 Speaker 1: first you have a thought that you want to do something, 153 00:07:25,600 --> 00:07:28,640 Speaker 1: then you act on that intention, and then that leads 154 00:07:28,640 --> 00:07:31,520 Speaker 1: you to feeling a certain way. This expectation that oh, 155 00:07:31,520 --> 00:07:34,120 Speaker 1: I'm going to feel motivated and then I'll do it, 156 00:07:34,200 --> 00:07:36,280 Speaker 1: or I'm going to feel like getting up in the 157 00:07:36,280 --> 00:07:38,480 Speaker 1: morning and then I'll get up in the morning. That's 158 00:07:38,520 --> 00:07:41,560 Speaker 1: not true. You have to do something to feel the 159 00:07:41,600 --> 00:07:44,840 Speaker 1: goodness from it, and then that creates this beautiful cycle 160 00:07:45,160 --> 00:07:48,440 Speaker 1: that this positive feedback. Okay, I've done this action, it's 161 00:07:48,480 --> 00:07:50,360 Speaker 1: made me feel good. That's going to help me wake 162 00:07:50,480 --> 00:07:53,240 Speaker 1: up again and do that over and over again. So 163 00:07:53,320 --> 00:07:55,800 Speaker 1: don't wait to feel before you do the thing. Just 164 00:07:55,840 --> 00:07:58,200 Speaker 1: do the thing and then you'll feel and then you'll 165 00:07:58,240 --> 00:08:00,640 Speaker 1: want to keep doing it. I read this that said 166 00:08:00,880 --> 00:08:03,080 Speaker 1: talking about doing the thing is not doing the thing. 167 00:08:03,720 --> 00:08:06,520 Speaker 1: Thinking about doing the thing is also not doing the thing. 168 00:08:07,160 --> 00:08:11,240 Speaker 1: Just doing the thing is doing the thing, and so 169 00:08:12,280 --> 00:08:14,880 Speaker 1: don't wait to think it feel it, don't be in 170 00:08:14,920 --> 00:08:18,240 Speaker 1: your emotions. Emotions are so fleeting, so temporary. Most of 171 00:08:18,360 --> 00:08:19,680 Speaker 1: us don't even feel like doing the things that are 172 00:08:19,720 --> 00:08:22,040 Speaker 1: good for us at first because we've never done it before. 173 00:08:22,160 --> 00:08:24,680 Speaker 1: So whether it's good or bad, it is still unfamiliar 174 00:08:24,680 --> 00:08:27,680 Speaker 1: and an unknown to your mind and your body. So actually, 175 00:08:27,760 --> 00:08:30,080 Speaker 1: whether it's good or bad, it's still feels scary. Your 176 00:08:30,080 --> 00:08:33,040 Speaker 1: body doesn't know the difference. It's just, oh, this is unfamiliar, 177 00:08:33,040 --> 00:08:36,480 Speaker 1: and so your nervous system will choose the familiar hell 178 00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:38,960 Speaker 1: over the unfamiliar heaven. I'm sure you've heard that before, 179 00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:41,839 Speaker 1: but it is so true. Our nervous system has been 180 00:08:41,880 --> 00:08:44,280 Speaker 1: with us since the day we were born. It is 181 00:08:44,360 --> 00:08:47,079 Speaker 1: designed to keep us safe, and it does that by 182 00:08:47,120 --> 00:08:50,480 Speaker 1: finding our patterns and predictability in everything that we do 183 00:08:50,720 --> 00:08:53,760 Speaker 1: in our environment, in our actions. It's just part of 184 00:08:53,760 --> 00:08:56,600 Speaker 1: our protective mechanism, which by the way, is so useful 185 00:08:56,720 --> 00:08:59,760 Speaker 1: when there's real threats in our life. But the disadvantage 186 00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:02,280 Speaker 1: is when it comes to our personal growth and accomplishments. 187 00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:05,520 Speaker 1: So actually, if you think about it, waiting to feel 188 00:09:05,520 --> 00:09:07,319 Speaker 1: good from things that are good for you if you've 189 00:09:07,360 --> 00:09:09,800 Speaker 1: never done them actually makes no sense because you've never 190 00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:13,520 Speaker 1: triggered a positive response with that behavior before. So just 191 00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:16,560 Speaker 1: because someone says this mango is so sweet, it doesn't 192 00:09:16,559 --> 00:09:18,320 Speaker 1: mean you're going to feel the sugar rush before you 193 00:09:18,360 --> 00:09:21,480 Speaker 1: actually taste it. And so just because someone says when 194 00:09:21,520 --> 00:09:24,200 Speaker 1: you work out, you're going to feel amazing after your workout, 195 00:09:24,320 --> 00:09:26,199 Speaker 1: you're going to feel so good. Your body's going to 196 00:09:26,240 --> 00:09:28,920 Speaker 1: feel amazing, your mind's going to feel so clear. You 197 00:09:28,960 --> 00:09:31,760 Speaker 1: may theoretically know it, but that feeling hasn't been created 198 00:09:31,760 --> 00:09:34,200 Speaker 1: in your body. And usually we feel good about the 199 00:09:34,200 --> 00:09:36,360 Speaker 1: things that aren't good for us because they bring us 200 00:09:36,360 --> 00:09:40,000 Speaker 1: this immediate but temporary satisfaction. But the things that actually 201 00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:43,080 Speaker 1: take time and feel bad at first are usually the 202 00:09:43,120 --> 00:09:45,480 Speaker 1: things that bring us long term change and joy. It's 203 00:09:45,480 --> 00:09:47,480 Speaker 1: like you go for a workout, your muscles aren't used 204 00:09:47,480 --> 00:09:49,120 Speaker 1: to it, your body's not used to it. The next 205 00:09:49,160 --> 00:09:51,760 Speaker 1: day you can barely walk down the stairs. I've actually 206 00:09:51,760 --> 00:09:55,000 Speaker 1: come to love that feeling, but in essence, your body's like, no, 207 00:09:55,200 --> 00:09:57,960 Speaker 1: don't do this. You're hurting me. It's too much pain, 208 00:09:58,360 --> 00:10:00,840 Speaker 1: it's too out of my comfort zone. So yeah, first 209 00:10:00,840 --> 00:10:02,880 Speaker 1: working out may not feel good, but then you start 210 00:10:02,880 --> 00:10:05,680 Speaker 1: getting that good feeling after doing it a good few 211 00:10:05,720 --> 00:10:08,200 Speaker 1: times and you'll never be able to let it go. 212 00:10:08,600 --> 00:10:11,480 Speaker 1: So really, the change from the alarm going off that 213 00:10:11,559 --> 00:10:13,959 Speaker 1: story about working out is I want to work out. 214 00:10:14,160 --> 00:10:16,840 Speaker 1: I don't feel like working out. I work out anyway 215 00:10:17,120 --> 00:10:19,840 Speaker 1: I feel good, and that feeling good makes me feel 216 00:10:19,880 --> 00:10:21,880 Speaker 1: like waking up the next day to work out again, 217 00:10:21,920 --> 00:10:26,280 Speaker 1: and that is the ideal habit making cycle. I'm going 218 00:10:26,320 --> 00:10:28,040 Speaker 1: to tell you my personal experience of that, because I 219 00:10:28,120 --> 00:10:30,720 Speaker 1: know working out can be something that people find really difficult, 220 00:10:30,840 --> 00:10:32,599 Speaker 1: or like getting into the habit of working out with 221 00:10:32,679 --> 00:10:35,680 Speaker 1: something people find really difficult. So when I was younger, 222 00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:40,160 Speaker 1: I absolutely despise working out. My mom was a personal trainer. 223 00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:43,560 Speaker 1: She would like do fitness classes and she said, drag 224 00:10:43,679 --> 00:10:46,760 Speaker 1: me to them. I absolutely despised it. But one day 225 00:10:46,760 --> 00:10:49,360 Speaker 1: I realized how important movement was for the body, and 226 00:10:49,400 --> 00:10:51,079 Speaker 1: I was like, I want to do this for myself. 227 00:10:51,120 --> 00:10:53,120 Speaker 1: I want to show myself that I can commit that 228 00:10:53,200 --> 00:10:57,280 Speaker 1: I can do this, and so I started. I pushed through. 229 00:10:57,440 --> 00:10:59,600 Speaker 1: I didn't base it on feeling. I just knew this 230 00:10:59,679 --> 00:11:02,040 Speaker 1: is something I have to do, but this is something 231 00:11:02,080 --> 00:11:04,480 Speaker 1: I want to do, and so I'd wake up, I'd 232 00:11:04,520 --> 00:11:07,240 Speaker 1: go to the gym after work or before work, and 233 00:11:07,280 --> 00:11:09,920 Speaker 1: then eventually, once I got into that habit, I honestly 234 00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:13,000 Speaker 1: am like what ten years in and I can't imagine 235 00:11:13,040 --> 00:11:15,240 Speaker 1: a day with that movement in my life. I just can't. 236 00:11:15,679 --> 00:11:17,480 Speaker 1: Most of the time. It's not even linked to physical 237 00:11:17,559 --> 00:11:20,480 Speaker 1: or aesthetic goals. It's linked to how this makes me feel. 238 00:11:20,720 --> 00:11:23,200 Speaker 1: A day without movement in my life feels staggnant, it 239 00:11:23,200 --> 00:11:26,240 Speaker 1: feels energyless, and so that's really what connection has been 240 00:11:26,280 --> 00:11:28,800 Speaker 1: built in my mind. So for me to feel this way, 241 00:11:29,280 --> 00:11:32,600 Speaker 1: it just showed me how important that mechanism really is 242 00:11:32,640 --> 00:11:35,360 Speaker 1: and how much it actually works. So start creating these 243 00:11:35,440 --> 00:11:38,640 Speaker 1: new narratives and remind us for yourself every single day 244 00:11:38,679 --> 00:11:41,720 Speaker 1: to rewire your natural thought pattern. I might not feel 245 00:11:41,720 --> 00:11:44,480 Speaker 1: like meditating, but after sitting for twenty minutes, I'm more 246 00:11:44,520 --> 00:11:47,640 Speaker 1: grounded and clear headed. I might not feel like getting 247 00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:51,160 Speaker 1: a tough workout in, but I'm more energized after doing it. 248 00:11:51,559 --> 00:11:53,760 Speaker 1: I might not feel like waking up early when my 249 00:11:53,840 --> 00:11:56,600 Speaker 1: alarm goes off, but I feel so good when I 250 00:11:56,640 --> 00:11:58,880 Speaker 1: make it through my morning routine or get so much 251 00:11:58,920 --> 00:12:02,120 Speaker 1: done before my work starts. And so repeating these thoughts 252 00:12:02,120 --> 00:12:04,760 Speaker 1: in your head when you're getting to bed when you 253 00:12:04,800 --> 00:12:07,600 Speaker 1: wake up in the morning, just like having that as 254 00:12:07,640 --> 00:12:09,880 Speaker 1: a constant mantra that's going through in your mind. A 255 00:12:09,960 --> 00:12:11,920 Speaker 1: mantra is just simply something that you repeat over and 256 00:12:11,920 --> 00:12:15,240 Speaker 1: over again to create these new thought patterns. So next 257 00:12:15,240 --> 00:12:17,800 Speaker 1: time you're considering choices in the moment, and you might 258 00:12:17,840 --> 00:12:20,280 Speaker 1: be in your feels, there are two options that you have. 259 00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:22,840 Speaker 1: You either let your lower self choose. This lower self 260 00:12:22,880 --> 00:12:25,680 Speaker 1: is basing the decision on your current moment. You're asking 261 00:12:25,720 --> 00:12:27,720 Speaker 1: do I feel like doing this right now? Or you 262 00:12:27,760 --> 00:12:30,320 Speaker 1: have your higher self make that decision, the self that 263 00:12:30,520 --> 00:12:33,560 Speaker 1: is grounded in what you care about most, your values, 264 00:12:33,600 --> 00:12:37,120 Speaker 1: your future goals, and you choose by asking how would 265 00:12:37,240 --> 00:12:40,000 Speaker 1: future me feel after doing this? So those are the 266 00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:42,400 Speaker 1: two options. Do I feel like doing this right now? 267 00:12:42,679 --> 00:12:45,000 Speaker 1: Or how will my future self feel after doing this? 268 00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:49,480 Speaker 1: Obviously the winning answer is choose your higher self. I've 269 00:12:49,520 --> 00:12:51,600 Speaker 1: just noticed that I don't want to be controlled by 270 00:12:51,600 --> 00:12:54,200 Speaker 1: my senses, like am I controlled by my senses and emotions? 271 00:12:54,280 --> 00:12:56,800 Speaker 1: Or am I in control of my senses and emotions 272 00:12:57,240 --> 00:12:59,880 Speaker 1: and able to make decisions that benefit my future and 273 00:13:00,360 --> 00:13:02,600 Speaker 1: the values that I want to instill in my life 274 00:13:02,880 --> 00:13:06,720 Speaker 1: despite my emotions and despite my temporary feeling and being 275 00:13:06,720 --> 00:13:08,440 Speaker 1: able to do that is really the goal and the 276 00:13:08,480 --> 00:13:11,040 Speaker 1: secret of building good habits that last. It also just 277 00:13:11,080 --> 00:13:13,680 Speaker 1: makes you feel so good about yourself, like every time 278 00:13:13,720 --> 00:13:15,600 Speaker 1: I commit to something and I follow through with it, 279 00:13:15,640 --> 00:13:18,080 Speaker 1: even when I don't want to. To build these habits, 280 00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:20,360 Speaker 1: after you've done it, there is never a regret like, 281 00:13:20,360 --> 00:13:22,240 Speaker 1: oh I wish I hadn't worked out and made myself 282 00:13:22,240 --> 00:13:25,760 Speaker 1: feel good, Oh I wish I hadn't done this meditation practice, 283 00:13:25,960 --> 00:13:28,800 Speaker 1: or my mind feels so clear, how horrible, Like you 284 00:13:28,920 --> 00:13:31,640 Speaker 1: just don't feel like that. After those habits, it just 285 00:13:31,679 --> 00:13:34,280 Speaker 1: builds this like confidence and this self worth in you. 286 00:13:34,360 --> 00:13:37,400 Speaker 1: At the same time, the next step is like preparing yourself. 287 00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:39,760 Speaker 1: And so let's say you're trying to start running in 288 00:13:39,800 --> 00:13:42,520 Speaker 1: your life, making sure you have the right leggings, the 289 00:13:42,600 --> 00:13:45,160 Speaker 1: right shoes, the right stuff that you want to make 290 00:13:45,160 --> 00:13:47,480 Speaker 1: yourself feel good when you're doing that practice is really 291 00:13:47,520 --> 00:13:49,960 Speaker 1: important because, for example, if you don't get good shoes, 292 00:13:50,040 --> 00:13:52,280 Speaker 1: you could end up running injuring yourself and that will 293 00:13:52,280 --> 00:13:54,080 Speaker 1: stop you from doing it for the rest of the week. 294 00:13:54,440 --> 00:13:55,880 Speaker 1: Or let's say you want to cook more at home, 295 00:13:56,200 --> 00:13:57,440 Speaker 1: then you need to make sure that you have the 296 00:13:57,559 --> 00:14:00,640 Speaker 1: ingredients to do that, maybe have some recipes save so 297 00:14:00,679 --> 00:14:04,160 Speaker 1: you know exactly what you're making. So doing the planning 298 00:14:04,440 --> 00:14:07,400 Speaker 1: and then starting the habit is really important. So making 299 00:14:07,400 --> 00:14:09,800 Speaker 1: sure that you actually have a plan in place to 300 00:14:09,840 --> 00:14:12,520 Speaker 1: set you up for success is really important because you 301 00:14:12,520 --> 00:14:14,200 Speaker 1: want to make sure you've got everything that you need. 302 00:14:14,240 --> 00:14:16,160 Speaker 1: That makes you feel a little bit more comfortable about 303 00:14:16,160 --> 00:14:18,960 Speaker 1: doing that practice. However, I will say at the same 304 00:14:19,040 --> 00:14:21,960 Speaker 1: time getting out of that, I'll do it tomorrow. Mentality 305 00:14:22,360 --> 00:14:25,640 Speaker 1: is so needed. Why do tomorrow? What's meant for today? 306 00:14:25,840 --> 00:14:28,800 Speaker 1: A wise quote that my mom would say constantly to 307 00:14:28,840 --> 00:14:31,520 Speaker 1: me growing up in various different ways, and it used 308 00:14:31,520 --> 00:14:33,080 Speaker 1: to really great on me. I was like, no, I 309 00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:34,800 Speaker 1: want to do it tomorrow. I'll do it tomorrow, Mom, 310 00:14:34,840 --> 00:14:38,880 Speaker 1: I'll do it tomorrow. Tomorrow never came. I really understand 311 00:14:38,880 --> 00:14:41,560 Speaker 1: this practice now, I really do. Why wait for tomorrow? 312 00:14:41,640 --> 00:14:43,560 Speaker 1: What is meant for today? And it makes such a 313 00:14:43,600 --> 00:14:45,640 Speaker 1: difference when you shift your mindset to this. So let's 314 00:14:45,640 --> 00:14:47,040 Speaker 1: say you want to do a sixty minute work out 315 00:14:47,040 --> 00:14:49,200 Speaker 1: every day, but you only have thirty minutes. Do you 316 00:14:49,280 --> 00:14:51,280 Speaker 1: just not do the thirty minutes and only wait till 317 00:14:51,320 --> 00:14:54,960 Speaker 1: you have those sixty minutes no, you do the thirty minutes. 318 00:14:55,360 --> 00:14:58,200 Speaker 1: Don't give yourself these strict all or nothing mindsets. You 319 00:14:58,280 --> 00:15:01,160 Speaker 1: only lose out when you do that. And so if 320 00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:03,280 Speaker 1: you have thirty minutes, if you have fifteen minutes, just 321 00:15:03,360 --> 00:15:05,400 Speaker 1: do it. It will all like even the fifteen minutes. 322 00:15:05,400 --> 00:15:07,000 Speaker 1: The thirty minutes will make you feel good. Yes, the 323 00:15:07,040 --> 00:15:09,920 Speaker 1: sixteen minutes why I made you feel fantastic, But the 324 00:15:09,960 --> 00:15:12,560 Speaker 1: fifteen minutes will make you feel great too. And so 325 00:15:12,800 --> 00:15:14,960 Speaker 1: don't wait till you have the perfect moment or the 326 00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:17,840 Speaker 1: perfect time. Start doing it, and you will lead up 327 00:15:17,880 --> 00:15:20,920 Speaker 1: to whatever that perfect is for you. So do it anyway, 328 00:15:20,960 --> 00:15:22,680 Speaker 1: even if it's a little flawed, even if you're not 329 00:15:22,720 --> 00:15:25,440 Speaker 1: fully equipped. And this may sound counter productive to what 330 00:15:25,480 --> 00:15:28,680 Speaker 1: I said before, but there is a significant difference between 331 00:15:28,680 --> 00:15:32,680 Speaker 1: not being fully equipped to start something and trying to procrastinate, 332 00:15:32,920 --> 00:15:35,000 Speaker 1: trying to find any reason to get out of it. 333 00:15:35,320 --> 00:15:36,960 Speaker 1: And so it comes with a little bit of awareness. 334 00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:39,600 Speaker 1: Am I saying I'm not prepared for this because I'm 335 00:15:39,640 --> 00:15:42,440 Speaker 1: trying to avoid it, or am I saying I'm not 336 00:15:42,480 --> 00:15:44,840 Speaker 1: prepared for this because I really do need a little 337 00:15:44,840 --> 00:15:46,760 Speaker 1: bit of time to get all my things together to 338 00:15:46,800 --> 00:15:49,120 Speaker 1: set me up for success. Only you will know the 339 00:15:49,160 --> 00:15:51,880 Speaker 1: answer to that. Another thing that really helps me is 340 00:15:51,880 --> 00:15:55,440 Speaker 1: having an accountability partner, finding yourself a buddy or a 341 00:15:55,480 --> 00:15:57,800 Speaker 1: friend with the same goal, or someone who's trying to 342 00:15:57,800 --> 00:16:00,240 Speaker 1: stick to another habit. It doesn't really have to be 343 00:16:00,280 --> 00:16:01,800 Speaker 1: the same as yours. It just needs to be someone 344 00:16:01,800 --> 00:16:05,360 Speaker 1: who's motivated to also change something in their life. But 345 00:16:05,400 --> 00:16:06,960 Speaker 1: you can hold each other to it. You can hold 346 00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:09,720 Speaker 1: each other accountable, you can check in with each other, 347 00:16:10,280 --> 00:16:12,640 Speaker 1: you can share the ups and downs of the process. 348 00:16:13,040 --> 00:16:15,680 Speaker 1: I remember when I was trying to get more protein 349 00:16:15,720 --> 00:16:18,280 Speaker 1: in my diet. Growing up in an Indian family, we 350 00:16:18,320 --> 00:16:21,280 Speaker 1: had proteins from lentils, beans and things like that every 351 00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:23,360 Speaker 1: single day. But I was really trying to up my 352 00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:25,880 Speaker 1: protein because I wanted to build some muscle in my 353 00:16:25,960 --> 00:16:28,560 Speaker 1: life and get better in the gym. And so I 354 00:16:28,600 --> 00:16:30,800 Speaker 1: remember when I was trying to do that, my sister 355 00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:33,520 Speaker 1: was also doing the same and it was so nice 356 00:16:33,640 --> 00:16:36,200 Speaker 1: to share recipes with each other, to check in and 357 00:16:36,240 --> 00:16:39,280 Speaker 1: talk about what was working what wasn't working. I also 358 00:16:39,320 --> 00:16:41,760 Speaker 1: created like a special bond between us because we were 359 00:16:41,800 --> 00:16:44,480 Speaker 1: both trying to improve something together. And I've noticed that 360 00:16:44,520 --> 00:16:48,800 Speaker 1: a lot. I've created a lot of friendships around better habits, 361 00:16:48,880 --> 00:16:51,840 Speaker 1: like let's work out together, let's go to yoga classes together, 362 00:16:51,880 --> 00:16:55,280 Speaker 1: let's go on walks together. And this feeling of doing 363 00:16:55,320 --> 00:16:58,200 Speaker 1: something that's good for you together actually creates like a 364 00:16:58,240 --> 00:17:00,840 Speaker 1: different type of bond, like a positive with each other. 365 00:17:01,360 --> 00:17:03,640 Speaker 1: And you know what, change can feel lonely sometimes, so 366 00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:06,800 Speaker 1: having someone that you can admit your struggles to, that 367 00:17:06,880 --> 00:17:09,439 Speaker 1: you can be honest with about the ups and downs 368 00:17:09,440 --> 00:17:11,560 Speaker 1: of it also makes it easier to stick to habits 369 00:17:11,560 --> 00:17:13,440 Speaker 1: because you don't feel bad about it, you hear someone 370 00:17:13,440 --> 00:17:15,879 Speaker 1: else struggling to, or they can give you words of 371 00:17:15,960 --> 00:17:17,879 Speaker 1: encouragement at the times that you're down and you can 372 00:17:17,920 --> 00:17:19,719 Speaker 1: do the same for them. Ends up being a really 373 00:17:19,800 --> 00:17:22,320 Speaker 1: lovely relationship. And I think something a lot of people, 374 00:17:22,320 --> 00:17:25,439 Speaker 1: including myself, struggle with is the negative talk and the 375 00:17:25,440 --> 00:17:28,440 Speaker 1: feeling of guilt and disappointment in ourself. If we do 376 00:17:28,520 --> 00:17:31,800 Speaker 1: fall off or go back into our lower habits, we 377 00:17:31,840 --> 00:17:35,199 Speaker 1: get mad at ourselves, We start talking negatively, just feeling 378 00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:37,439 Speaker 1: so bad about ourself and just not being nice to 379 00:17:37,560 --> 00:17:40,520 Speaker 1: ourself either. And the problem with that cycle is it's 380 00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:42,600 Speaker 1: the same as you know how the positive cycle was, 381 00:17:42,760 --> 00:17:45,040 Speaker 1: or you do something based on your behavior and then 382 00:17:45,080 --> 00:17:49,520 Speaker 1: it creates a positive feeling. This negative feedback actually disrupts 383 00:17:49,600 --> 00:17:52,040 Speaker 1: the cycle of even getting back on track. So you 384 00:17:52,080 --> 00:17:55,159 Speaker 1: tell yourself you're a failure, you haven't done well, you 385 00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:59,199 Speaker 1: haven't succeeded. That negative thought pattern intersects the positive thought pattern, 386 00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:01,200 Speaker 1: So even if you thinking of getting back on track, 387 00:18:01,240 --> 00:18:04,480 Speaker 1: you are constantly pulling yourself down and telling yourself that 388 00:18:04,520 --> 00:18:07,359 Speaker 1: you don't even deserve to get back on this positive habit. 389 00:18:07,400 --> 00:18:09,000 Speaker 1: And I've noticed that a lot. Sometimes when I fall 390 00:18:09,040 --> 00:18:12,399 Speaker 1: off my meditation practice, I really feel so guilty and 391 00:18:12,480 --> 00:18:14,840 Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, my gosh, do I even deserve to 392 00:18:14,880 --> 00:18:17,280 Speaker 1: sit in my meditation room? Do I even deserve to 393 00:18:17,920 --> 00:18:21,240 Speaker 1: sit there if I can't dedicate the full two hours 394 00:18:21,280 --> 00:18:25,119 Speaker 1: to it, And you kind of convince yourself that you 395 00:18:25,320 --> 00:18:27,359 Speaker 1: are undeserving of it, or you end up using that 396 00:18:27,400 --> 00:18:30,000 Speaker 1: as an excuse, And what good does that do? Nothing, 397 00:18:30,040 --> 00:18:32,480 Speaker 1: you don't get back into the habit, you feel bad 398 00:18:32,520 --> 00:18:35,359 Speaker 1: about yourself. It's actually just taking you completely in the 399 00:18:35,359 --> 00:18:38,920 Speaker 1: wrong direction. And so just be, you know, a little 400 00:18:38,920 --> 00:18:41,320 Speaker 1: bit kinder to yourself and celebrate every step that you take, 401 00:18:41,480 --> 00:18:43,840 Speaker 1: like the fact that you are taking one step forward, 402 00:18:43,880 --> 00:18:47,000 Speaker 1: even if it feels small. Celebrating your wins is really important. 403 00:18:47,720 --> 00:18:52,200 Speaker 1: And it also creates this self confidence again and self 404 00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:54,840 Speaker 1: assurance in that I can do this, and I will 405 00:18:54,880 --> 00:18:57,280 Speaker 1: do this, and I'm able to stick to something and 406 00:18:57,320 --> 00:18:59,800 Speaker 1: it makes me feel good. We get down on ourselves 407 00:18:59,800 --> 00:19:02,280 Speaker 1: so easily, but we forget to know and recognize what 408 00:19:02,320 --> 00:19:05,520 Speaker 1: a big deal it is every single time that you 409 00:19:05,600 --> 00:19:08,000 Speaker 1: feel the resistance but you still do it anyway. That 410 00:19:08,119 --> 00:19:10,600 Speaker 1: is such an achievement. It is such a win. So 411 00:19:10,680 --> 00:19:12,840 Speaker 1: see that as you're moving towards the person you want 412 00:19:12,920 --> 00:19:15,400 Speaker 1: to be, and recognize that you are making moves, even 413 00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:18,080 Speaker 1: if it's slow. You are reshaping your identity to be 414 00:19:18,160 --> 00:19:20,760 Speaker 1: someone who follows through on what they care about most. 415 00:19:21,080 --> 00:19:23,199 Speaker 1: And that is pretty epic. And if and when you 416 00:19:23,200 --> 00:19:25,960 Speaker 1: do fall off, you can just bounce back and see 417 00:19:25,960 --> 00:19:28,760 Speaker 1: it as part of the plan, not as failure. I've 418 00:19:28,760 --> 00:19:30,680 Speaker 1: actually read some really good books on this topic and 419 00:19:30,720 --> 00:19:32,359 Speaker 1: I wanted to share them with you because it's so 420 00:19:32,440 --> 00:19:37,000 Speaker 1: lovely reading words from people who are articulate and have 421 00:19:37,320 --> 00:19:39,600 Speaker 1: done research and it just, you know, it makes you 422 00:19:39,640 --> 00:19:42,119 Speaker 1: feel good, and it also just creates motivation in you 423 00:19:42,160 --> 00:19:44,240 Speaker 1: when you need it most. So there's this book called 424 00:19:44,280 --> 00:19:47,359 Speaker 1: Power of Habits by Charles Douhig, and he talks about 425 00:19:47,359 --> 00:19:50,000 Speaker 1: the ins and outs of habit change. It gives strategies 426 00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:52,679 Speaker 1: and tools on how to change your habits, and it 427 00:19:52,680 --> 00:19:55,240 Speaker 1: introduced me to this concept of the habit loop, which 428 00:19:55,359 --> 00:19:58,200 Speaker 1: is what I spoke about before, the process of how 429 00:19:58,240 --> 00:20:01,000 Speaker 1: habits form. So it begins with a que or a trigger, 430 00:20:01,520 --> 00:20:05,200 Speaker 1: followed by a routine which is your behavior, and ends 431 00:20:05,200 --> 00:20:08,720 Speaker 1: with a reward the benefit that's derived from that behavior, 432 00:20:08,760 --> 00:20:11,880 Speaker 1: so the feeling coming after the action. And he says 433 00:20:11,880 --> 00:20:15,439 Speaker 1: that this loop is fundamental to understanding how habits function 434 00:20:15,800 --> 00:20:19,119 Speaker 1: and how they can be changed. There's also the infamous 435 00:20:19,160 --> 00:20:21,360 Speaker 1: Atomic Habits by James Clare, which by the way, has 436 00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:24,040 Speaker 1: been in the New York Times bestseller list for lord 437 00:20:24,119 --> 00:20:27,440 Speaker 1: knows how long years. I'd say, Gears, this book is 438 00:20:27,480 --> 00:20:29,960 Speaker 1: actually such a great reminder of how tiny, little changes 439 00:20:30,040 --> 00:20:33,080 Speaker 1: can lead to huge results over time, and it just 440 00:20:33,160 --> 00:20:36,600 Speaker 1: gives practical strategies for building new habits and breaking bad ones. 441 00:20:37,040 --> 00:20:40,520 Speaker 1: And he says that rather than aiming for the drastic transformations, 442 00:20:40,600 --> 00:20:43,720 Speaker 1: focus on the one percent improvements every single day, and 443 00:20:43,760 --> 00:20:45,600 Speaker 1: that can lead to profound change. And I really love 444 00:20:45,640 --> 00:20:48,359 Speaker 1: that concept. Like little things daily that's all it takes. 445 00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:50,480 Speaker 1: You don't need to make extreme changes in your life. 446 00:20:50,520 --> 00:20:52,359 Speaker 1: He also covers a habit loop, but in a slightly 447 00:20:52,400 --> 00:20:54,840 Speaker 1: different way. He says that it's actually a four step process. 448 00:20:55,200 --> 00:20:57,960 Speaker 1: There's a queue, which is the trigger that initiates the behavior, 449 00:20:58,359 --> 00:21:01,560 Speaker 1: the craving, which is the desire that motivates the routine. 450 00:21:01,840 --> 00:21:05,879 Speaker 1: So basically, your why, the response, which is the actual 451 00:21:05,880 --> 00:21:08,840 Speaker 1: habit or behavior that's performed, and then your reward the 452 00:21:08,880 --> 00:21:11,800 Speaker 1: benefit that's gained from that habit. So very similar. The 453 00:21:11,800 --> 00:21:14,879 Speaker 1: only difference there is that initial desire or motivation to 454 00:21:14,880 --> 00:21:17,560 Speaker 1: actually get started. He also covers the four laws of 455 00:21:17,560 --> 00:21:20,080 Speaker 1: behavior change, and he says that to create good habits, 456 00:21:20,560 --> 00:21:22,560 Speaker 1: you have to design your environment to make room for 457 00:21:22,720 --> 00:21:25,440 Speaker 1: these good habits. You have to make the habit attractive. 458 00:21:25,520 --> 00:21:27,639 Speaker 1: So pair your new habits with things that you enjoy 459 00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:30,920 Speaker 1: to increase motivation. Sometimes I always tell my friends, I'm like, Okay, 460 00:21:30,920 --> 00:21:32,560 Speaker 1: if you want to walk more, put a walking pad 461 00:21:32,600 --> 00:21:34,520 Speaker 1: in front of your favorite show and just do it there. 462 00:21:34,840 --> 00:21:37,000 Speaker 1: You have to make it easy, reduce any friction or 463 00:21:37,080 --> 00:21:40,200 Speaker 1: hurdles that might be there that stops you from doing 464 00:21:40,200 --> 00:21:42,560 Speaker 1: that habit, and then you have to make it satisfying, 465 00:21:42,760 --> 00:21:46,760 Speaker 1: like use immediate rewards to reinforce those behaviors. It's a 466 00:21:46,760 --> 00:21:49,879 Speaker 1: really great book. It's an easy read and definitely very motivational. 467 00:21:50,200 --> 00:21:53,120 Speaker 1: The next one is Discipline is Destiny, great book by 468 00:21:53,160 --> 00:21:55,320 Speaker 1: Ryan Holliday. Oh my gosh, it's one of my favorites. 469 00:21:55,880 --> 00:21:58,920 Speaker 1: It talks about the power and importance of self control 470 00:21:59,440 --> 00:22:02,040 Speaker 1: and present discipline as a skill that you can practice 471 00:22:02,040 --> 00:22:05,359 Speaker 1: to master your desires, emotions, and impulses or you know. 472 00:22:05,400 --> 00:22:07,160 Speaker 1: When I read this book, it made me feelally understood 473 00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:08,720 Speaker 1: because I feel like I've worked really hard to create 474 00:22:08,760 --> 00:22:11,400 Speaker 1: discipline in my life, and I always get questions about 475 00:22:11,400 --> 00:22:13,600 Speaker 1: how restrictive it is, like don't you just want to 476 00:22:13,840 --> 00:22:16,560 Speaker 1: live your life or live a little like stay out 477 00:22:16,560 --> 00:22:19,280 Speaker 1: a little bit later, or eat this or do this. 478 00:22:19,440 --> 00:22:22,280 Speaker 1: And I always say, I've lived an undisciplined life, and 479 00:22:22,359 --> 00:22:24,560 Speaker 1: all it did was make me a victim to my senses. 480 00:22:24,720 --> 00:22:27,080 Speaker 1: All it did was make me unhappy. I was a 481 00:22:27,240 --> 00:22:30,960 Speaker 1: constant servant to my senses. But when I created discipline 482 00:22:30,960 --> 00:22:33,119 Speaker 1: in my life, it was the only time that I 483 00:22:33,119 --> 00:22:35,960 Speaker 1: have felt freedom because I was in control of my 484 00:22:36,040 --> 00:22:39,600 Speaker 1: senses rather than them controlling me. And so discipline is 485 00:22:39,680 --> 00:22:42,159 Speaker 1: actually freedom. People think doing what you want, whenever you 486 00:22:42,200 --> 00:22:45,360 Speaker 1: want creates freedom, but actually it makes you a prisoner 487 00:22:45,400 --> 00:22:47,639 Speaker 1: of your senses. You are then not in control. You 488 00:22:47,680 --> 00:22:50,840 Speaker 1: are being controlled by your fleeting desires. And that's what 489 00:22:50,840 --> 00:22:52,360 Speaker 1: he says in the book. He says, the disciplined life 490 00:22:52,359 --> 00:22:54,960 Speaker 1: allows you to live according to your values and pursue 491 00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:59,160 Speaker 1: your goals without being enslaved by your fleeting emotions or temptations, 492 00:22:59,520 --> 00:23:02,320 Speaker 1: and honestly, that's when you feel your best. The next 493 00:23:02,359 --> 00:23:05,160 Speaker 1: book is Liz Moody A Hundred Ways to Change Your Life. 494 00:23:05,200 --> 00:23:07,600 Speaker 1: I really enjoyed this book, and I've also had Liz 495 00:23:07,600 --> 00:23:10,119 Speaker 1: on the podcast She is wonderful. It was such a 496 00:23:10,119 --> 00:23:13,040 Speaker 1: great episode, and the book is organized into one hundred concise, 497 00:23:13,119 --> 00:23:16,400 Speaker 1: easy to implement strategies that allow you to make meaningful 498 00:23:16,480 --> 00:23:19,840 Speaker 1: changes without feeling overwhelmed. So every tip is super easy, 499 00:23:19,960 --> 00:23:22,240 Speaker 1: and like you think, one hundred sounds like a lot, 500 00:23:22,520 --> 00:23:26,119 Speaker 1: but it's actually very manageable, bite sized tips, and it 501 00:23:26,160 --> 00:23:29,359 Speaker 1: covers everything from physical, mental, and emotional health too. It 502 00:23:29,400 --> 00:23:31,600 Speaker 1: feels so relatable and doable, which is what I loved 503 00:23:31,600 --> 00:23:35,359 Speaker 1: about the book. She also gives really real personal experiences 504 00:23:35,880 --> 00:23:38,160 Speaker 1: and it made me feel very good. About myself, which 505 00:23:38,200 --> 00:23:40,280 Speaker 1: is always needed. Like a book that makes you feel 506 00:23:40,320 --> 00:23:43,199 Speaker 1: positive and excited about life is always a book that 507 00:23:43,280 --> 00:23:47,000 Speaker 1: is worth reading. So in conclusion, take it slow, don't 508 00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:50,239 Speaker 1: be a hater to others or yourself. Speak kindly to 509 00:23:50,320 --> 00:23:52,960 Speaker 1: you and to other people, and give yourself and everyone 510 00:23:53,000 --> 00:23:56,119 Speaker 1: else grace because we are all just humans trying to 511 00:23:56,119 --> 00:23:58,640 Speaker 1: do better. And most importantly, when you do fall off, 512 00:23:58,800 --> 00:24:01,560 Speaker 1: which you most probably will, because that's just life, don't 513 00:24:01,600 --> 00:24:04,280 Speaker 1: see as a loss. See it as another opportunity to 514 00:24:04,359 --> 00:24:07,520 Speaker 1: prove to yourself just how epic you are and just 515 00:24:07,560 --> 00:24:10,840 Speaker 1: how able you are, and honestly, just don't stop bouncing back. 516 00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:13,800 Speaker 1: That is actually when you create failure in your life 517 00:24:13,840 --> 00:24:16,160 Speaker 1: is when you stop believing that you can. I really 518 00:24:16,200 --> 00:24:18,359 Speaker 1: hope you that you enjoyed this episode, Share it with 519 00:24:18,440 --> 00:24:20,359 Speaker 1: your friends or tag me when you listen to it, 520 00:24:20,640 --> 00:24:23,159 Speaker 1: and follow a really good cry on whatever platform you 521 00:24:23,160 --> 00:24:25,560 Speaker 1: listen to your podcast so that you don't miss an episode. 522 00:24:25,720 --> 00:24:28,600 Speaker 1: Oh and the guest episodes are also available on YouTube 523 00:24:28,640 --> 00:24:31,399 Speaker 1: to watch so you can see our lovely faces. Have 524 00:24:31,440 --> 00:24:33,040 Speaker 1: a great day and sending you so much love.