Speaker 1: My colleagues, We'll stop commenting on everything I get. My
Speaker 1: assistant rolls eyes at people and meeting. Why does my
Speaker 1: coworker keep taking credit for all my ideas? Have any
Speaker 1: wisdom for me? Hi, I'm Alison Green. Welcome to the
Speaker 1: Asking Manager podcast. Right answer questions from listeners about life
Speaker 1: at work, everything from what to say if you're allergic
Speaker 1: to your coworkers perfume to what to do if you
Speaker 1: drink too much at the company party. Let's get started, Hi,
Speaker 1: and welcome to the show. Today. I'm going to answer
Speaker 1: a bunch of shorter questions from people, and the first
Speaker 1: question we have is from someone who has a warm,
Speaker 1: friendly relationship with her manager, but other people don't like it,
Speaker 1: and she's not entirely sure about it herself. Hi, I
Speaker 1: have a question. I work in an office. There are
Speaker 1: about five other individuals in my division that report the
Speaker 1: same manager. This manager is several years younger than me.
Speaker 1: I'm in my mid thirties and he is about twenty
Speaker 1: years younger than my colleague. My colleagues have and continue
Speaker 1: to question his authority due to his age and relative
Speaker 1: and experience in the industry. My manager and I get
Speaker 1: along fairly well, and although we aren't friends, were friendly.
Speaker 1: I assume that a lot of us have to do
Speaker 1: with our age and that we're going through similar life experiences.
Speaker 1: We're both newly married and have young children. I realized
Speaker 1: that he's my manager and I keep him at a
Speaker 1: friendly distance, but I fear that more and more frequently
Speaker 1: he's coming to me as a friend chat almost on
Speaker 1: a daily basis. So I have two questions. How do
Speaker 1: I keep my relationship with my manager friendly but make
Speaker 1: it clear that I don't want it to cross over
Speaker 1: into legitimate friend territory. It's not my intention to be
Speaker 1: its friends, but I feel like keeping an open, warm
Speaker 1: relationship with my manager and colleagues is essential to my
Speaker 1: happiness at work due to the collaborative nature of my job. Secondly,
Speaker 1: how do I manage my relationship with my colleague? I
Speaker 1: worry that if they see me and my manager being friendly,
Speaker 1: because they will start talking about me behind my back.
Speaker 1: Is well, what troubles me is that they've already started
Speaker 1: teasing me that our manager is quote in love with
Speaker 1: me simply because we are friendly ish and are of
Speaker 1: opposite genders. I don't want that to get out of
Speaker 1: hand or may get up the change to HR just
Speaker 1: someone who doesn't see it as a joke. How do
Speaker 1: I nip this on both fronts? Or should I just
Speaker 1: continue to maintain my friendly distance as my manager and
Speaker 1: ignore my colleagues comments. Thanks for any insight, I appreciate it.
Speaker 1: There's a lot going on here, and your colleagues, who
Speaker 1: I think, if I'm doing the math correctly, are in
Speaker 1: their fifties, are being really childish. Okay, first, let's talk
Speaker 1: about how to keep the relationship with your manager friendly
Speaker 1: but not friends. And having an open, warm relationship with
Speaker 1: your boss is a great thing, and you're also right
Speaker 1: that at the same time, you need to be thoughtful
Speaker 1: about making sure that it doesn't start feeling more like
Speaker 1: actual friends, because I can cause all sorts of problems
Speaker 1: like not getting objective feedback when you need to hear it,
Speaker 1: or appearance of favoritism to others, and people questioning if
Speaker 1: you're getting special treatment whether or not you really are,
Speaker 1: and plus the power dynamics make it weird. Like with
Speaker 1: a true friend, if you wanted to say no to
Speaker 1: plans or talk to them about something that they did
Speaker 1: that upset you, you could do that, But when it's
Speaker 1: your manager. The power dynamics can really complicate those things. Anyway,
Speaker 1: it sounds like you already know all of this and
Speaker 1: you know that you don't want it to become a friendship.
Speaker 1: But I'm listening that all out for people listening who
Speaker 1: might be thinking, what's the big deal? Okay, so how
Speaker 1: do you keep the boundary? I think it's fine to
Speaker 1: talk about shared experiences like both having young children, but
Speaker 1: you want to watch out for getting too personal. Like
Speaker 1: it's fine to talk about how you're handling sleep training
Speaker 1: or how weird those parent and child dance classes are,
Speaker 1: but you probably want to stay away from more emotionally
Speaker 1: intimate stuff like how having kids has affected your relationship
Speaker 1: with your spouse, or the way that it's making you
Speaker 1: read visit some hard stuff from your own childhood or
Speaker 1: so forth. It's the emotionally intimate stuff that you want
Speaker 1: to avoid, and I know in some ways that can suck,
Speaker 1: because being vulnerable can be such a powerful way to connect,
Speaker 1: But in this case, you're trying to avoid that specific
Speaker 1: type of connection. The other thing I would look at
Speaker 1: is how much the two of you are talking. If
Speaker 1: you're routinely having our long conversations about non work stuff
Speaker 1: that's too much. You absolutely can have real conversations about
Speaker 1: life with your boss, but just put limits on it,
Speaker 1: like ten or fifteen minutes here and there is completely fine,
Speaker 1: But when it's frequently going longer than that, then you're
Speaker 1: more in a problem zone. Now you mentioned that more
Speaker 1: and more often he is coming to you to chat
Speaker 1: as a friend almost daily, and this is tricky because
Speaker 1: power dynamics can make it weird to push back on that,
Speaker 1: and because he's your boss, you probably worry that seeming
Speaker 1: chili or standoffish could affect your work relationship too, And
Speaker 1: this is one of the reasons that being friends with
Speaker 1: the boss is bad, by the way, because you shouldn't
Speaker 1: have to worry that the way that you manage a
Speaker 1: friendship will affect you professionally. Anyway, I think you can
Speaker 1: take a light touch in setting boundaries, but still set
Speaker 1: them so like when he comes into chat, it's okay
Speaker 1: to be on a deadline or about to need to
Speaker 1: make a phone call. You can say, hey, can I
Speaker 1: catch you later, I'm about to jump on a call,
Speaker 1: or after talking for a little bit, you know, well
Speaker 1: I better get back to this. I've got to finish
Speaker 1: it up. Before I leave today or so forth. As
Speaker 1: long as your tone is warm and friendly during the
Speaker 1: conversation part, you should be able to do the I've
Speaker 1: got to get back to this part without seeming chilly. Now,
Speaker 1: let's talk about the other part of your question, managing
Speaker 1: your relationship with your coworkers. They've started teasing you that
Speaker 1: your boss is in love with you, which is so
Speaker 1: incredibly inappropriate. This is a workplace, it's not grade school,
Speaker 1: and they're playing with people's professional reputations here. It's really
Speaker 1: not cool. I'm also not loving how they're questioning his
Speaker 1: authority because of his age and his relative inexperience in
Speaker 1: your field. You said you're in your mid thirties and
Speaker 1: he's a few years younger, so he's like, what thirty ish.
Speaker 1: It's not like your company hired someone twenty two and
Speaker 1: straight out of college with no work experience to manage
Speaker 1: your team. So your co workers are they sound like
Speaker 1: they're being kind of awful. Now, if he really doesn't
Speaker 1: have the expertise to manage the team, that is a
Speaker 1: legitimate issue, but you didn't mention that that's what's going on.
Speaker 1: So I have the impression that your co workers are
Speaker 1: maybe not the greatest anyway. I do think you have
Speaker 1: to put a stop to the comments about him being
Speaker 1: in love with you, because, in addition to being bizarrely
Speaker 1: juvenile and just inappropriate for work, that really does have
Speaker 1: the potential to affect his reputation and potentially even cause
Speaker 1: hr problem for him. So the next time that you
Speaker 1: hear something like that, shut it down and do it
Speaker 1: in a pretty stern tone so that it's clear that
Speaker 1: you're not joking, because I'm worried that otherwise that will
Speaker 1: become part of the banter that they think they have
Speaker 1: going on, is they say it and you protest. So
Speaker 1: make it clear from your tone that you're serious. Say
Speaker 1: something like that's really not funny and that could cause
Speaker 1: a lot of problems if someone here's that and didn't
Speaker 1: know that you were joking. Don't say that again. And
Speaker 1: if you get pushback on that, say I'm serious. You're
Speaker 1: being really reckless with people's professional reputations. Stop so stern serious,
Speaker 1: not joking around, and your colleagues are acting like children. Okay,
Speaker 1: I hope that helps. Here is our next collar. Hi
Speaker 1: Allison and loving the podcast. I'm actually a new listener
Speaker 1: and side I'm listening to the back catalog and I
Speaker 1: just listened to the episode on salary negotiation, which I
Speaker 1: sounds super helpful. My question is most job offers I've
Speaker 1: had in the last five years or so have come
Speaker 1: to me via email, um, in an attachment, something like that,
Speaker 1: and I'm wondering how to broach the conversation when you're
Speaker 1: not already talking to the manager if that makes sense.
Speaker 1: You know, in the examples that you gave on the podcast,
Speaker 1: you talked about when they make the offer, counter immediately
Speaker 1: with the are you flexible with the salary, etcetera. But
Speaker 1: when you're receiving this in an email and you're trying
Speaker 1: to get back to them, how do you start that conversation,
Speaker 1: especially if you don't you're not sitting at the desk
Speaker 1: or on the phone with them in that moment. I
Speaker 1: really appreciate your insight, Thank you so much, But ah,
Speaker 1: you want to get on the phone for this if
Speaker 1: at all possible. So if the job offer comes in
Speaker 1: an email, you reply to the email and you say,
Speaker 1: I'm really excited to get this offer. Could we set
Speaker 1: up a time to talk by phone in the next
Speaker 1: day or two. I have a few questions that I
Speaker 1: wanted to talk through. That's it. And then when you
Speaker 1: get on the phone with them, you start by reiterating
Speaker 1: that you're really excited for the offer. You see something
Speaker 1: like I was really glad to get the offer. I'm
Speaker 1: excited about this role and the work that you do.
Speaker 1: Thanks for making the time to talk through some of
Speaker 1: my questions with me. And then maybe here you ask
Speaker 1: something else that you're wondering about, like what kind of
Speaker 1: start date they're looking for, any other questions that you have,
Speaker 1: and then say, and you don't need to if you
Speaker 1: have a list of like eight questions, you don't need
Speaker 1: to run through them all before salary, but I might
Speaker 1: do one or two and then say do you have
Speaker 1: any flexibility on the salary? And then you go from
Speaker 1: there with the negotiation advice from the episode that you referenced,
Speaker 1: and for people who are looking for that episode, if
Speaker 1: you want to listen to it, it's the show from
Speaker 1: April and it's called what should Salary Negotiations sound Like?
Speaker 1: We'll go to a quick break here and then come
Speaker 1: back with a question about what to do when your
Speaker 1: boss asks you if you have a problem with him, Hi,
Speaker 1: I have a question about when your boss in a
Speaker 1: performance review suddenly asks you what you have a problem
Speaker 1: with him? And this just happened to me recently, and
Speaker 1: I was floored. I didn't know what to say because
Speaker 1: there are things that I don't particular care of that
Speaker 1: he does. But I felt like it was a trap
Speaker 1: and that he would just get defensive and angry. So
Speaker 1: I just tried to deflect any answer. But how do
Speaker 1: you handle something like that? And when you're asked that
Speaker 1: point blank and you do have things that you don't
Speaker 1: like about your boss, but you can't just say I
Speaker 1: don't like that you do this because they're your boss.
Speaker 1: I would like to go back and kind of answer
Speaker 1: the question, but I don't know how to do that.
Speaker 1: You know, I don't want to generate defensiveness on his part,
Speaker 1: So if you could give some advice on on that
Speaker 1: type of question, it would be great, Thank you very much.
Speaker 1: So my first question is are you assuming that he
Speaker 1: will get defensive and angry, because he has a track
Speaker 1: record of getting defensive and angry. If he does, this
Speaker 1: is someone who has forfeited any right to expect honest
Speaker 1: feedback from you. I mean, if managers want honest feedback,
Speaker 1: they need to create an environment where it's clear that
Speaker 1: is safe for people to give it. That's the price
Speaker 1: of having power. And really, even when a good manager
Speaker 1: does do the work to create the kind of environment
Speaker 1: where it's clear that it's safe to give feedback, where
Speaker 1: it's clear that you won't be penalized or responded to
Speaker 1: with anger or defensiveness, some people still won't give their
Speaker 1: managers feedback. That's just how it goes, and a reasonable
Speaker 1: manager should know that. Anyway, back to your boss, if
Speaker 1: he has given you reason to believe that he will
Speaker 1: react badly to candid feedback, I would go with a
Speaker 1: very bland answer like, oh, things are fine. You know,
Speaker 1: there's nothing in particular that comes to mind. You might
Speaker 1: feel weird saying that it's hard to stomach saying that
Speaker 1: things are fine when they aren't. But if you have
Speaker 1: reason to believe that being honest will make life harder
Speaker 1: for you, well, I mean, that's still a choice that
Speaker 1: you might decide to make at some point, but it
Speaker 1: should be after a lot of thought, not on the
Speaker 1: spur of the moment because he happens to ask you
Speaker 1: and put you on the spot. On the other hand,
Speaker 1: if your boss has a pretty good track record of
Speaker 1: being open to feedback and taking descent, well, then it's
Speaker 1: an opportunity potentially to improve your working relationship and maybe
Speaker 1: benefit both of you. You still don't need to answer
Speaker 1: on the spot, though. When he was doing your performance review,
Speaker 1: he had had time to prepare and think about what
Speaker 1: he wanted to say and how he wanted to frame it.
Speaker 1: And there's no reason that you can't have that same
Speaker 1: kind of time to reflect to and make sure that
Speaker 1: you're framing things the way you want to you because
Speaker 1: so often with high sensitivity topics, if we just wing
Speaker 1: it without really preparing or reflecting beforehand, it often comes
Speaker 1: out in a much less productive way then if you
Speaker 1: do have time to prepare beforehand, which is why good
Speaker 1: managers don't do performance evaluations on the fly, and you
Speaker 1: shouldn't have to do the equivalent of a boss evaluation
Speaker 1: on the fly either. It's fine to say, can I
Speaker 1: give that some thought and come back to you in
Speaker 1: the next few days or talk about it at our
Speaker 1: next meeting. Now, in this case, your boss wasn't just
Speaker 1: asking for feedback. He asked if you had a problem
Speaker 1: with him. That's a more specific thing, and it sounds
Speaker 1: like he's gotten the impression that maybe you do have
Speaker 1: a problem with him. So the first thing that I
Speaker 1: would want to understand in your shoes is why he
Speaker 1: thinks that. So I would use a tone that expresses
Speaker 1: a little concern about him having that impression, and see
Speaker 1: what else you can find out. So this is what
Speaker 1: you would have done in the moment. If we could
Speaker 1: go back in time, which unfortunately we can. Ideally you
Speaker 1: would have said something on the spot like, oh my goodness,
Speaker 1: have I given you that impression? I definitely wouldn't want
Speaker 1: you to think that. Or you could say, you know,
Speaker 1: I do have some things that worry me, but I'm
Speaker 1: concerned that I've given you the impression that I have
Speaker 1: a problem with you. Can you tell me more about
Speaker 1: what's concerning you? Anyway, it sounds like in the moment
Speaker 1: you deflected, but which is fine. We do that. That's
Speaker 1: more human. But now you want to go back and answer.
Speaker 1: So if you know him to be someone who will
Speaker 1: handle that kind of conversation, well you could go back
Speaker 1: and say, you know, I've been thinking about your question
Speaker 1: the other day about whether I have concerns about our
Speaker 1: work relationship. And let's use some examples here, Let's say
Speaker 1: let me think of an example. Let's say that you
Speaker 1: feel like he changes his mind a lot after your
Speaker 1: work is already under way, and it's frustrating and causes
Speaker 1: you to waste time because you're having to go back
Speaker 1: and change your work a lot. So you could say,
Speaker 1: you know, I've been thinking about your question the other
Speaker 1: day about whether I have concerns about our work relationship.
Speaker 1: I do think that we could benefit from a better
Speaker 1: way of figuring out parameters of projects before I'm too
Speaker 1: far into them, Like with the X project, I had
Speaker 1: put in a fair amount of work before hearing that
Speaker 1: you actually wanted me to do why instead? And I
Speaker 1: wonder if there is a better way for us to
Speaker 1: draw those kind of details out before I've put in
Speaker 1: a lot of time. It would probably be less frustrating
Speaker 1: for each of us and save both of us time. Now,
Speaker 1: the tone there is collaborative. It's not venting. It's not
Speaker 1: I'm so relieved to finally have an outlet to express
Speaker 1: my frustration with you. It's constructive. It's collaborative. It's curious,
Speaker 1: you know, is there a better way? Can we mull
Speaker 1: this over? And note that in the language there You're
Speaker 1: not just saying I don't like that you two X.
Speaker 1: You're saying I wonder if there's a better way for
Speaker 1: us to handle X. So it's not just a complaint,
Speaker 1: it's more forward looking, like can we figure out a
Speaker 1: better way to approach this? And that framing can sometimes
Speaker 1: help if you're worried about someone feeling defensive. But again,
Speaker 1: if it's someone who gets defensive and angry, all that's
Speaker 1: are off and I would proceed with extreme caution. Okay,
Speaker 1: here is our next color. Hi Allison, I'm a recent
Speaker 1: college graduate in my first real job post college. I
Speaker 1: work for a fantastic company with a great culture, and
Speaker 1: I was even paired with a mentor early on in
Speaker 1: my work process, as some of us work remotely, so
Speaker 1: I had additional point of contact in my company. I
Speaker 1: have a team of six people, myself and three other
Speaker 1: project managers, one support member, and our director. My project
Speaker 1: happens to be the smallest on the team. My boss,
Speaker 1: who is really great, has given me a lot of
Speaker 1: autonomy in my work, but has recently started canceling or
Speaker 1: rescheduling our weekly one on one. I get feedback that
Speaker 1: I'm doing a good job keeping myself organized and on
Speaker 1: the right track. How her, Recently, my clients have been
Speaker 1: pushing back against my work and making suggestions which make
Speaker 1: it difficult for me to maximize my KPI s. How
Speaker 1: do I tell my boss I'm frustrated with my clients,
Speaker 1: and how do I tell her without sounding like I
Speaker 1: can't man my own ship? Thanks? Okay, First of all,
Speaker 1: for people who are like, what is a KPI, it
Speaker 1: stands for key performance indicator, and it's a metric of
Speaker 1: how well you're achieving your the goals for your job. So, okay,
Speaker 1: you are not going to sound like you can't man
Speaker 1: your own ship just because you want some contact with
Speaker 1: your boss. And that is especially true because you're right
Speaker 1: out of college and your first professional job. No one
Speaker 1: is going to find it weird that you want some
Speaker 1: contact with your boss and some guidance from your boss.
Speaker 1: That's totally normal. In fact, what is a problem is
Speaker 1: when someone early in their career doesn't want that or
Speaker 1: doesn't think they need it. That causes problems. This is
Speaker 1: just you being conscientious. So I would say this to
Speaker 1: your boss. Could we try to get it back to
Speaker 1: meeting regularly. I have found that it's really helpful when
Speaker 1: we do, and now that we're not meeting so often,
Speaker 1: I'm finding that I have questions and things that I
Speaker 1: need guidance on. That's it. That's a perfectly reasonable request,
Speaker 1: and it's completely okay to ask. And then in those
Speaker 1: meetings let her know what's happening with your client and
Speaker 1: ask for her advice and how to navigate it. That
Speaker 1: is exactly the sort of thing that one on ones
Speaker 1: are four, and you should use her as a resource
Speaker 1: when you're running into any weirdness or frustrations with clients.
Speaker 1: It is true that there is a point in your
Speaker 1: career where you will be expected to do more of
Speaker 1: that problem solving on your own, but that point is many,
Speaker 1: many years away. I mean, you're a new grad. It
Speaker 1: makes sense that you want and need help with this stuff,
Speaker 1: So just be explicit with your boss that you want it.
Speaker 1: We'll do a final break here and then come back
Speaker 1: with a question about what to do when your boss
Speaker 1: freaks out when you're just a few minutes late to work. Hi, Alison,
Speaker 1: thank you so much for taking the time to answer
Speaker 1: my question. Um. I'm calling about the issue of tardiness
Speaker 1: and offices, especially in New York City. I've heard mixed
Speaker 1: things from from different friends, and I've had various experiences
Speaker 1: with sort of what's expected and what's you know, acceptable
Speaker 1: in terms of the trains being late or you know,
Speaker 1: something unexpected happening during your commute. The place where I work, UM,
Speaker 1: my commute is about forty minutes, and I always give
Speaker 1: myself a cushion of about twenty minutes UM, and that
Speaker 1: usually works out pretty well. Sometimes I get there and forty.
Speaker 1: Sometimes it takes closer to an hour, depending on it
Speaker 1: there's a delay or a sick passenger, etcetera. So I
Speaker 1: always do the best that I can to let my
Speaker 1: boss know that I am going to be late. As
Speaker 1: soon as I know, I send him a text, and
Speaker 1: it's never more than ten minutes. However, if I'm even
Speaker 1: two minutes late, he often sends me like why I
Speaker 1: perceived to be a passive aggressive text message. Um, this
Speaker 1: morning he sent me one. You know, I was five
Speaker 1: minutes late this morning. I let him know thirty minutes before.
Speaker 1: He sent me a text that said, UM, you really
Speaker 1: need to plan ahead for this exclamation point and kind
Speaker 1: of like kind of like went on a little mini
Speaker 1: text rants about it, and this he kind of does
Speaker 1: the exact same thing every time this happens, and it
Speaker 1: doesn't happen very often with me, and I consider myself
Speaker 1: a very good employee. I've always meet my deadlines, I'm
Speaker 1: rarely rarely late, and when I am it, you know,
Speaker 1: it makes me mad. And so it's like it's even
Speaker 1: worse to get to work and then have my boss
Speaker 1: be passive aggressive with me about it, because it kind
Speaker 1: of seems like, aren't we adults and can't we just
Speaker 1: have an understanding that, um, you know that sometimes things happen,
Speaker 1: and if you're five minutes late, and when you're not
Speaker 1: late for a meeting or something, I don't I don't know.
Speaker 1: I'm not trying to question the rules. I'm just asking.
Speaker 1: I'm wondering how I can move forward at this job
Speaker 1: where I feel shamed for being five minutes late when
Speaker 1: I felt that I've done everything I can do and
Speaker 1: I'm getting all my work done and I'm getting accolades
Speaker 1: from my work and keep I'm generally well aliked at work.
Speaker 1: This is really the only issue. My boss is often
Speaker 1: just like moody about certain topics, and I never really
Speaker 1: know when he will be moody. Um, So anyway, I
Speaker 1: do try to handle this with professionalism and just you know, respond,
Speaker 1: But it's like, is it rude of me too? When
Speaker 1: he says you really need to plan ahead for this,
Speaker 1: is it rude of me? Does then respond and say, oh,
Speaker 1: I know I did plan ahead. I um, today it
Speaker 1: was just a particularly rough day. Sorry about that. I mean,
Speaker 1: I don't know. I feel like, you know, the more
Speaker 1: it happens, the more it gets under his skin, and
Speaker 1: but I feel a bit often, but you know, things
Speaker 1: are going to happen, and it might happen once every
Speaker 1: couple of months. Okay, I don't like the answer that
Speaker 1: I'm going to give here. You're not gonna like it either.
Speaker 1: I think maybe you need to leave ten minutes earlier.
Speaker 1: And the reason I don't like this answer is I
Speaker 1: agree with you that in most jobs, being five or
Speaker 1: ten minutes late just should not be a big deal. Obviously,
Speaker 1: there are jobs where it is a big deal, like
Speaker 1: if you have to cover phones or work at the
Speaker 1: front desk or other jobs where coverage is really important.
Speaker 1: But for a ton of jobs, and I'm assuming this
Speaker 1: is the case with yours, being five or ten minutes
Speaker 1: late occasionally really should not matter. But there are bosses
Speaker 1: who think that it does, and it sounds like you
Speaker 1: have one of them. He is going to chastise you
Speaker 1: for it every time it happens, and he's going to
Speaker 1: send you I rate texts, and maybe he's going to
Speaker 1: think you're less reliable because of it, which is incredibly
Speaker 1: unfair and unwarranted. But it is the reality that you
Speaker 1: have to work with. It's a stupid reality, but there
Speaker 1: it is. Given that reality, I think the way to
Speaker 1: solve the this probably to leave ten minutes earlier. That
Speaker 1: will mean that on days when you don't need that buffer,
Speaker 1: you will get there earlier than you need to. And
Speaker 1: that is how it goes. And I get that it's annoying.
Speaker 1: I would be annoyed. But when you're telling your boss,
Speaker 1: you know, I did plan ahead, but the commune was
Speaker 1: unexpectedly bad, he's skeptical because after it's happened a few times,
Speaker 1: I'm very sure that what he's thinking is that planning
Speaker 1: ahead would mean giving yourself a bigger buffer than you are,
Speaker 1: and he is probably thinking that you should realize that.
Speaker 1: And again, this is stupid if it doesn't happen much
Speaker 1: and if it doesn't impact your job, but you have
Speaker 1: a boss who thinks it's a big deal, So that
Speaker 1: is what I would advise. Annoying as it is, I
Speaker 1: will say that my advice would be different if we
Speaker 1: weren't talking about ten minutes. If you're going to have
Speaker 1: to leave like forty five minutes earlier than you are now,
Speaker 1: or an hour earlier, just to keep this from happening
Speaker 1: a couple of times a year, I would say that
Speaker 1: was unreasonable enough that you shouldn't do it. But if
Speaker 1: just minutes, we'll solve it. That's what I try. The
Speaker 1: other option is to try to sit down and talk
Speaker 1: to him about it. I'm kind of skeptical from the
Speaker 1: way that you've described his responses previously. I'm skeptical that
Speaker 1: this will work. But you could give it a shot.
Speaker 1: You could sit down with him and you could say, hey,
Speaker 1: you've made this really clear that you don't want this
Speaker 1: to happen, but public transportation here can be really unreliable,
Speaker 1: and I am leaving myself a substantial buffer, and it's
Speaker 1: usually enough, but very occasionally it's not. I think I
Speaker 1: do good work and I'm highly reliable, and so I'm
Speaker 1: asking if there is a way for us to agree
Speaker 1: that as long as it's not happening all the time.
Speaker 1: It's part of the way that the trains work in
Speaker 1: our city. He may say yes, he may say no,
Speaker 1: but it could be worth having the conversation if you
Speaker 1: feel like you have the capital to spare for it,
Speaker 1: capital in this case meaning you're otherwise in good standing.
Speaker 1: He likes your work, you haven't just asked for a
Speaker 1: bunch of other exceptions to things and so forth. Okay,
Speaker 1: we've that. Time for one more quick question. Hi Allison,
Speaker 1: longtime listener and fan of Ask a Manager. Many years ago,
Speaker 1: one of my first positions was that a small nonprofit
Speaker 1: and the long story short, I looked it up and
Speaker 1: the nonprofit has changed its name and it no longer
Speaker 1: has this name title. Additionally, all of my former co
Speaker 1: workers have since moved on. So what do I do
Speaker 1: in terms of this spot on my resume? Do I
Speaker 1: mentioned that it's updated? Do I take it off? I
Speaker 1: was there for a year, so I don't want to
Speaker 1: leave that off, and I can't even put anyone down
Speaker 1: as a reference. No one is there anymore that I
Speaker 1: used to know? What should I do for the spot
Speaker 1: on my resume? Thanks? Okay, there is a very easy
Speaker 1: solution here, So on your resume for the name of
Speaker 1: this employer, put the name of the organization that it
Speaker 1: had when you worked there, and then parentheses put the
Speaker 1: new name. So like, if the organization used to be
Speaker 1: called Tea Drinkers of America and now it's called T
Speaker 1: for All. T for All is the organization I dream
Speaker 1: of running one day, you would write Tea Drinkers of
Speaker 1: America parentheses, now T for All. That's it. And the
Speaker 1: question of references, um, just because your former co workers
Speaker 1: aren't still there, that doesn't mean they can't still serve
Speaker 1: as a reference. It's really normal for someone to be
Speaker 1: a reference even after they've moved on to another job.
Speaker 1: If the issue is that you can't track them down,
Speaker 1: I would try linked in. But the other thing is
Speaker 1: you said this was many years ago, so you probably
Speaker 1: don't need references from a job that was many years
Speaker 1: ago for only one year um. In fact, depending on
Speaker 1: how long ago it was, you might not even need
Speaker 1: it on your resume at all, as long as you
Speaker 1: have like ten to fifteen years of your most recent experience.
Speaker 1: If this was before that, you could leave it off
Speaker 1: all together. Well, that is our show for today. If
Speaker 1: you want to hear your question answered on a future episode,
Speaker 1: you can record it on our show voicemail by calling
Speaker 1: eight five five or two six work That is eight
Speaker 1: five five four two six nine six seven five, or
Speaker 1: you can email a sound file of your question to
Speaker 1: podcast at Aska manager dot org. That's it for today
Speaker 1: and I will be back next time with more questions.
Speaker 1: H M h