Speaker 1: Welcome to This is Important, a production of iHeartRadio, the
Speaker 1: show where we only talk about what's obviously most crucially
Speaker 1: integral to the fabric of our very nature.
Speaker 2: Here we go, start your engines. M m m m
Speaker 2: m m m ming ming ming ming ming ming ming
Speaker 2: ming ming ming.
Speaker 3: All right, guys, man, how are your ship boom.
Speaker 1: Hit us with it?
Speaker 2: Blake friendship?
Speaker 1: Friendship? Yeah, you're real? Yeah, so much love? Hell yeah
Speaker 1: on your soundboard?
Speaker 3: Oh much love.
Speaker 2: I love the love Blake real trap shit.
Speaker 3: That one's cool.
Speaker 4: You ever hit that ship when you're not on the pod,
Speaker 4: when you're just like late night drunk thinking about us?
Speaker 3: Oh yeah.
Speaker 2: Out of all of the uh possible buttons to hit
Speaker 2: when you're alone in your room late at night thinking
Speaker 2: about us, what is the button that you hit the
Speaker 2: most often? Blake hit us with it? That's our friendship
Speaker 2: is so hardcore.
Speaker 3: I'm constantly just sitting in my room just playing the
Speaker 3: soundboard thinking about you.
Speaker 1: Guys. Thank you God, Kyle. Can we get your joke
Speaker 1: one more time? Oh the soundboard that's what Blake calls
Speaker 1: his dick.
Speaker 2: Okay, hey, yes, but why'd you bail on the joke?
Speaker 2: And then you doubled back for it. What happened there?
Speaker 2: You got nervous?
Speaker 1: I like it. No, I think there's a lag going on.
Speaker 1: And it came out and then Durs caught it, and
Speaker 1: then we came back and now I hit it and
Speaker 1: now here we are.
Speaker 3: Okay. You can also do don't. They call it the
Speaker 3: fruit basket where you like kind of pull your nuts
Speaker 3: through the back of your legs and then just kind
Speaker 3: of have like them sitting at the bottom of your
Speaker 3: butt crack fruit basket. Yes, yes, I can demonstrate.
Speaker 2: We would love to see it.
Speaker 3: This is this is important.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, because I don't get it.
Speaker 2: It's important. You saying you can demonstrate, but I don't
Speaker 2: think that you are actually gonna do it. So yeah,
Speaker 2: i'd love to see it.
Speaker 3: I don't know if legally I can.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you can't understand the mechanics of it, So if
Speaker 1: you could show it to me, that'd be great. Sheriff
Speaker 1: Divine says, you're good.
Speaker 3: Anna, Can you get in the chat and let me know? Please?
Speaker 1: Uh?
Speaker 2: Legally you can't? Yeah for sure?
Speaker 1: For yeah, said sure, got sure, We got a sure
Speaker 1: on the chat.
Speaker 2: Producer Anna says, sure, we can't see it?
Speaker 1: Anna, you pervert. All right, hold one, say, if you
Speaker 1: could just show us the mechanics of this, that'd be great.
Speaker 1: I just don't understand it.
Speaker 2: Let's see it, all right, let me see.
Speaker 4: We're gonna get some some kiwi's. We're gonna bite these
Speaker 4: kiwis hole or what the.
Speaker 1: Skin my book? Actually?
Speaker 3: You know my I feel like I just took a
Speaker 3: shower and it was cold. So like my balls are
Speaker 3: kind of really close, like hugging my body.
Speaker 1: Okay, so what you can't scratch them back?
Speaker 2: What I'm trying a lot of people when they take showers,
Speaker 2: their balls like sort of hang.
Speaker 1: Low, elongate.
Speaker 3: Yes, right, this was a cold shower. I took a
Speaker 3: cold shower.
Speaker 1: Why would you do such a thing because you just
Speaker 1: worked out? Yeah, okay, here he goes, just showing us
Speaker 1: the buck. We got the best, the best butt.
Speaker 2: Well, we just see your asks.
Speaker 1: Oh it was a side. It was a side. Well okay,
Speaker 1: well it was good. Well it was.
Speaker 2: A side, so that was great science. They looked like
Speaker 2: two uh and those looked really soft in shaved. Do
Speaker 2: you shave your your nuts?
Speaker 3: Well you guys, you guys know I'm not a very
Speaker 3: hairy guy, right, other than my head.
Speaker 1: Except for the head. Yeah, you got a lot of
Speaker 1: hair up.
Speaker 3: Talk yo.
Speaker 1: Your nuts looked like they were holding their breath. They
Speaker 1: were pink.
Speaker 4: Yeah, they were like I scared of you, motherfucker going
Speaker 4: past the graveyard in the car, going.
Speaker 3: Under a tunnel trying to make a wish. Yeah, man,
Speaker 3: I'm gonna. I wasn't prepared, all right. Sorry, Hey, big
Speaker 3: ups for doing that, bro, good job man.
Speaker 1: You well to let down.
Speaker 3: Thanks man.
Speaker 1: No, it was cool. Yeah, you followed through.
Speaker 2: I did not think you were going to do it, Blake,
Speaker 2: and I thought you were going to put the whole
Speaker 2: thing through. I thought it was gonna be dick and balls,
Speaker 2: but you promise balls and balls were delivered.
Speaker 1: I was looking for a Hello.
Speaker 3: If you do the just the balls out the back,
Speaker 3: that's the fruit basket. What if you take the dick
Speaker 3: and the balls and pull them through.
Speaker 2: Well, that's a banana. I thought all of it. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I thought it was all it's a banana and then
Speaker 2: a few plums.
Speaker 3: Yeah, now it makes sense to me, Adam.
Speaker 4: I love when we hit the same way, like we're
Speaker 4: always hitting this and it's the banana.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and then the yeah, the orange react. This is important,
Speaker 1: you know, this.
Speaker 3: Yeah, baby, I'm hello, Blake.
Speaker 2: Did you masturbate on a flight when you were a kid? Watching? Uh,
Speaker 2: watching some movie?
Speaker 1: What's up? Come again?
Speaker 3: What where is this coming from? Why? What is this?
Speaker 3: Gotcha journalism right out the gate?
Speaker 2: Jeez, this has got journalism? Well no, you said it
Speaker 2: on another podcast. I'm wondering why you're telling cool stories
Speaker 2: about masturbating on planes on other podcasts and you're not
Speaker 2: mentioning it on our podcast when that's obviously a cool story.
Speaker 3: Well, first off, I will shout out, yeah, I BET's
Speaker 3: still a very friend of the pod, at least from
Speaker 3: this square of the circle. Yeah, I told that story
Speaker 3: on their podcast because we didn't have a podcast.
Speaker 2: Well what is their what is their podcast? You got
Speaker 2: to call them out?
Speaker 3: Yeah, but still is the podcast?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, but still? Oh I thought you were just
Speaker 2: I thought you were just saying a phrase.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Jack Wagner, Brandon Wardell, Yeah, big shout out to
Speaker 3: the pod.
Speaker 2: Okay, so you want to you want to give us
Speaker 2: that story over here or is it it's you've already
Speaker 2: burned it.
Speaker 3: Well now I feel like they should go over to
Speaker 3: that pod and check it out there.
Speaker 1: But did you just hit the friendship button for them
Speaker 1: or for us? Yeah? What was that?
Speaker 3: For all of us?
Speaker 1: The fuck is happening? No, no, no, no, no, no, no no, this.
Speaker 3: Is a friendship fan. I'm feeling very interrogated right now.
Speaker 1: Well, yeah, he jumped out the gate. He interrogated you.
Speaker 2: I didn't mean to. I just I literally like, you're pissed.
Speaker 1: Yeah, down came out hot and I support you.
Speaker 2: But this isn't I wasn't trying to get at my guy.
Speaker 2: I was just wondering. I just heard it. It was like
Speaker 2: five minutes ago. I heard this little clip of Blake
Speaker 2: telling this funny story, and I'm like, why he never
Speaker 2: told this story. I feel like we've been telling jerk
Speaker 2: off stories jo stories all the time on this podcast.
Speaker 2: I'm always telling some epic tales and Blake had just
Speaker 2: left this one in the cup. When I feel like
Speaker 2: this one's prime for you lose.
Speaker 1: Whoa no, the double diss.
Speaker 3: You know, it came very organically in that podcast. It
Speaker 3: wasn't like I was just like chopping at the bit
Speaker 3: to tell about the time that I j oed on
Speaker 3: an airplane in my youth. This is pre this is
Speaker 3: pre come.
Speaker 5: How old were you?
Speaker 2: Let's in.
Speaker 1: This is pre pre.
Speaker 4: Yes, this is pre pre what's pre pre just the
Speaker 4: air the air shots.
Speaker 1: This was when you were it was just dusted.
Speaker 3: Yeah, when you used to just kind of and that
Speaker 3: was it cought.
Speaker 2: Oh, by the way, I feel like a lot of women,
Speaker 2: a lot of females don't know that that was a thing.
Speaker 2: Like I told Chloe, I was telling some story a
Speaker 2: few weeks ago, and I tell Chloe this. She's like,
Speaker 2: what do you mean nothing came out? And I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 2: before you hit puberty, it doesn't come out. And I
Speaker 2: was a little late hitting puberty. I was like kind
Speaker 2: of the smaller kid, and so no, so there was
Speaker 2: I was like bummed when it started to happen. I'm like,
Speaker 2: I gotta clean this up every time. Now there used
Speaker 2: to be no evidence. Now all of a sudden, there's
Speaker 2: evidence everywhere.
Speaker 1: There's so much evidence.
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's so much.
Speaker 3: Well remember when it first starts, it's just like one
Speaker 3: clear tear drop.
Speaker 1: Oh really that's how you saw it?
Speaker 3: Well for me, yeah, it was like it was like
Speaker 3: my dick cried one tier of joy.
Speaker 1: Uh, okay, you felt good. Yeah, you are bringing back
Speaker 1: specific memories. This is so weird.
Speaker 3: There's you didn't you didn't do one single tear drop,
Speaker 3: or you just started one day the faucet turned on
Speaker 3: and you I just.
Speaker 4: Said, you brought back like a very specific memory for
Speaker 4: me of that exact thing.
Speaker 3: Oh you had, so you you do remember when you
Speaker 3: just had.
Speaker 4: I didn't remember until just now, and I'm like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 4: it was like I think it was only pre right.
Speaker 1: I think that was just what it was. It wasn't
Speaker 1: like a it wasn't a load. Hey, speaking of cum,
Speaker 1: I have some I have something. I did it? What
Speaker 1: did you do? I did it? What did you do?
Speaker 1: I did it? Did you snip? I made the appointment.
Speaker 1: I made the appointment, made the appointment.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, Yeah.
Speaker 1: That doesn't stop you from me jack and does it? No, No,
Speaker 1: the loads still still come from what I've told But yeah.
Speaker 2: You still have all the fun of the toy, but
Speaker 2: none of the dangers.
Speaker 1: Well, so no more live ammunitions. It's all blanks. Well,
Speaker 1: when I do it, I haven't done it yet. I
Speaker 1: made the appointment. I walked in.
Speaker 3: Yeah, can we walk through the science of it? Like science,
Speaker 3: what what is the technical term.
Speaker 1: For It's called a vasectomy?
Speaker 3: Because that is definitely a German scientist who discovered that right.
Speaker 1: Totally, because they cut the vas deference. That's that's that's
Speaker 1: sick to me. And they're like, well we got to
Speaker 1: do it. Yeah, that's cool.
Speaker 3: So they cut it off and then they tie it.
Speaker 1: Or there's two of them in the sack and they
Speaker 1: cut both of them and then I guess they cauterize
Speaker 1: it or something. I got to look into that. I
Speaker 1: don't know.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think that's to get a blow torch in
Speaker 4: there and just fucking tort you.
Speaker 3: I might be confusing, like girls get their tubes tied,
Speaker 3: boys get their their dick snipped.
Speaker 4: Yes, yeah, I don't know if there's any literal tying happening.
Speaker 4: I think that's kind of like a cute fun thing
Speaker 4: to say, right is it's like a crimp.
Speaker 2: Well, why can't we say I don't want to get snipped. Yeah,
Speaker 2: let's I would rather get crimped. Maybe we can start
Speaker 2: that crimping I'm getting I'm getting my nuts at crimped.
Speaker 1: They just make the tube zigzaggy.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna I had to get my nuts crimped this weekend.
Speaker 3: Crimped kind of like it's eighties day in high school.
Speaker 3: We're just crimping our nuts.
Speaker 1: We should crimp our pubes and just like change the world.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, Yeah, let's for sure start crimping a
Speaker 3: lot of our hair on our bodies.
Speaker 1: And like fingerwave your pubes.
Speaker 4: Yes, sir, I feel like people were like we shaved
Speaker 4: to like show that we've got we're cleanly, we're we're
Speaker 4: all cleaned up.
Speaker 1: We take care of our bodies. But if you style that.
Speaker 2: Ship, yeah that's hot, right, mm hmmm, it was an
Speaker 2: atom bomb.
Speaker 1: Of energy, that's right? Is that what you call yourself?
Speaker 2: And the chewing the ice on the microphone? I love
Speaker 2: it and I want to thank you for doing that.
Speaker 1: Blaze you got it on true wis you're not supposed to?
Speaker 1: Why go eat tinfoil?
Speaker 3: Why don't you get the sparks going?
Speaker 1: Well tinfoil? If you got feelings? But what's the what's
Speaker 1: the matter with ice?
Speaker 3: I think they said, if you true ice, you're sexually frustrated.
Speaker 2: Always heard that makes sense.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so I'm gonna be what cool?
Speaker 4: Doctor is this like the ozarks doctor? Did you go
Speaker 4: see him?
Speaker 3: You remember when they say like if you wear green
Speaker 3: your horny?
Speaker 4: No, that was green em and m's what what I thought?
Speaker 4: It was just green if you if you ate green eminem's,
Speaker 4: they made you horny.
Speaker 3: It's science. What it was like the green dye in it?
Speaker 2: Like, why why does green make you horny? Green? The
Speaker 2: color makes you horny?
Speaker 4: Green the eminem's are actually filled with tesosterone. Hello, I
Speaker 4: just remember that back in the day, if you wore green,
Speaker 4: the color like you were like.
Speaker 1: Code that you were horny.
Speaker 2: You're a horny dog?
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah what I Oh, well I got green eyes?
Speaker 1: So watch o.
Speaker 5: Wow.
Speaker 3: There is like things to colors, like green makes you horny.
Speaker 3: If you see orange, supposedly that color makes you hungry?
Speaker 1: Is it orange? Always heard? Is that why McDonald's is yellow?
Speaker 1: It's yellow because McDonald's.
Speaker 3: It's science. Yeah, because subliminally it makes your you very
Speaker 3: very hungry.
Speaker 2: So if you wear green, it doesn't mean that you're
Speaker 2: necessarily horny because you're not looking at yourself all days.
Speaker 2: You're trying to get everyone around you horny? So what's
Speaker 2: up with that shirt?
Speaker 5: Lake?
Speaker 1: Yeah? What are you trying to do to me?
Speaker 2: That green shirt? You come on the podcast trying to
Speaker 2: get us all horn dogg though, well.
Speaker 3: You didn't know, Come on, man, Hello.
Speaker 1: Hulk has Hulu has live sports?
Speaker 3: Okay, Hulu has live sports everybody. This is in my contract.
Speaker 2: That's cool. And you you're getting paid for that.
Speaker 3: Yes, since I'm on set for Woke on Hulu, I'm
Speaker 3: being paid to wear the Hulu has live sports jersey
Speaker 3: everywhere I go?
Speaker 1: And are you in Atlanta?
Speaker 2: Are you on set right now?
Speaker 3: I'm not. I have to wear it offset. That's that's the.
Speaker 2: Oh wow, this is a really intense contract that Isaac
Speaker 2: made you sign.
Speaker 1: A whoopsie, are you there in the at to the
Speaker 1: l oh?
Speaker 3: I am, I'm in the I'm all the way in it, baby,
Speaker 3: all the way in it. I'm just looking for usher
Speaker 3: everywhere I go.
Speaker 2: I would say I would like to do a tour
Speaker 2: and win. And if we do a tour for the podcast,
Speaker 2: we got to do a lot of musical numbers, a
Speaker 2: lot of like planned musical numbers where like twenty minutes
Speaker 2: in we're like, what'd you say?
Speaker 1: What do you say?
Speaker 2: Bro? And then we get in a fight right and
Speaker 2: just goes into it and yeah, and then all of
Speaker 2: a sudden, then.
Speaker 1: That was kind of our thing, wasn't it. Yeah, our sketches.
Speaker 4: Would we pretend our sketch stopped because somebody got hit
Speaker 4: and then we're just going to the song.
Speaker 2: Yeah, there has to be a lot of.
Speaker 1: Now you're talking about a cappella.
Speaker 2: I do most of my ship's acapella.
Speaker 3: But yeah, I mean, hello, you're talking to what was
Speaker 3: the name of your team?
Speaker 2: Oh, the treble Makers?
Speaker 1: Yeah, Blake.
Speaker 2: Don't act like you don't know, Thank you.
Speaker 1: I don't act like you don't know. Damn son, where'd
Speaker 1: you get there?
Speaker 2: Somebody just sent me that clip again, some internet person
Speaker 2: of it was Dwight Howard talking about one of his
Speaker 2: favorite moments with Kobe when Kobe turned him on to
Speaker 2: Pitch Perfect and they would watch Pitch Perfect together.
Speaker 1: That's tide what.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I guess Kobe Bryant's favorite movie was Pitch Perfect,
Speaker 2: which I find absolutely hilarious and awesome. You know, damn wow, man,
Speaker 2: I'm trying to kick it with Cobes.
Speaker 3: R I P yeah, RP.
Speaker 1: Mambas, you're trying to kick you with cobes?
Speaker 4: Alright?
Speaker 1: Does that mean you want to die?
Speaker 2: Speaking of I'm gonna do another season of Bad Ideas?
Speaker 2: I think so if I do another season of Bad Ideas,
Speaker 2: you know who knows?
Speaker 1: That's tie? I scared you mother? Thu Oh that was
Speaker 1: like a publicity that was like a pre pubblist, the
Speaker 1: thing I wanted not to cry for help.
Speaker 3: I love the way your mind works, man.
Speaker 1: Yeah, man, I want to kick it with Coke.
Speaker 3: So Kobe used to love pitch perfect. I can't wait
Speaker 3: to kick it with that dude, because I might be
Speaker 3: going to heaven because bad ideas is coming back on
Speaker 3: a new platform from the Full Circle.
Speaker 2: Man this season, Adam dies, and I'm thinking I'm thinking
Speaker 2: of going to a wuhan wet market and eating and
Speaker 2: eating bats.
Speaker 1: The cause of diary.
Speaker 4: I think we all know you need to go to
Speaker 4: a lab if it's going to be real risky.
Speaker 1: Leawn, Hello, I do that? Sure that said, rest in peace.
Speaker 1: Let's give the us flowers. Hey, flowers to Rodney.
Speaker 2: Speaking of giving flowers, Conan O'Brien's last night on television
Speaker 2: is tonight. And yeah, a few episodes back, we gave
Speaker 2: him flowers. I feel maybe we give him some more flowers.
Speaker 2: We don't have to talk about them because we did,
Speaker 2: but Flowersjackie Be's.
Speaker 1: The last guest right coming to a jack you Joiner
Speaker 1: Kursy Jackie Black, Jackie Black, Jackie Black Black.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Okay, okay, I thought we were still talking about
Speaker 3: Jack kay, and it's like that would be a weird
Speaker 3: last guess hey Conin Yeah, people are starting to say,
Speaker 3: like because like, you know, we mentioned McAfee, McAfee died,
Speaker 3: we gave Conan Conan.
Speaker 2: His flowers, Conan Simone Conan.
Speaker 3: We gave Conan his flowers. Now he's off air. I'm
Speaker 3: starting to think like our podcast might be kind of
Speaker 3: like are You Afraid the Dark episode where it's like
Speaker 3: whoever we mention goes off the air or dies?
Speaker 1: WHOA Okay, right, that's a lot of power. Yeah, I'll
Speaker 1: be honest.
Speaker 4: I was kind of stoked that, like we dave Conan
Speaker 4: his dude before it was like announced. Now everyone's like,
Speaker 4: here's a picture of.
Speaker 1: Me with him.
Speaker 4: I was there when I love him. It's like, well
Speaker 4: we did that without him announcing anything, So we're better.
Speaker 2: So we won.
Speaker 1: Yes, we just love them, so it is about we rock.
Speaker 1: We are actually one.
Speaker 2: As far as like the contest of giving flowers, we
Speaker 2: gave the best flowers. They were the freshest flowers. The
Speaker 2: people that are like sort of posting photos with Conan
Speaker 2: now those are like old wilted flowers that are gross
Speaker 2: and stinky.
Speaker 4: Right, those are like funeral flowers. Ours were like surprise,
Speaker 4: here's some flower.
Speaker 2: Yeah, ours are birthday flowers, right, just because even better
Speaker 2: than birthday. You're right, they are just because they're just.
Speaker 1: Because because we love you, and you know, I'd like
Speaker 1: to give us flowers for giving those flowers unsolicited.
Speaker 2: So if you were a comic or an actor that
Speaker 2: posted with Conan about his last day, fuck you, Okay, fuck.
Speaker 1: You, fuck you, well you're going to help you.
Speaker 2: You're rotting in hell, you piece of shit. You made
Speaker 2: his last day about you. It's about Conan, And we
Speaker 2: did that weeks and weeks ago.
Speaker 1: Fuck you.
Speaker 2: That being said I might post something, I might post something.
Speaker 1: Yeah, then we brought it back around and made it
Speaker 1: about us, So like then we did it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, hey, well I I kind of helped and made
Speaker 4: sure we didn't know how a little bit.
Speaker 1: Thank you a little bit, because it is about us now,
Speaker 1: it is now, it is.
Speaker 2: Here's here's I want to rewind a second to when
Speaker 2: Blake was jerking off on this airplane.
Speaker 3: Okay, who are you with.
Speaker 2: By the way, yeah, how old were you? Let's I
Speaker 2: want to I want some details here. Maybe you don't
Speaker 2: want to tell the whole story. Maybe you were only
Speaker 2: going to get part of this story, but I think
Speaker 2: it's important.
Speaker 3: Well, and what's wild. I just got done texting my
Speaker 3: dad about how he listens to the podcast while he
Speaker 3: does his uh his biking, and I'm like, okay, well
Speaker 3: the way this.
Speaker 2: He's a cyclist as well, it news.
Speaker 1: What's up?
Speaker 3: Well, the way this came about is I used to
Speaker 3: because I came from a divorce home, but I still
Speaker 3: would go in between.
Speaker 1: Why don't you cry about it?
Speaker 3: My mother and father's house, But I would take a
Speaker 3: plane to see my dad because he lived in southern California.
Speaker 3: So I was an unintended minor on planes quite a bit.
Speaker 2: So how old were you when you started jerking off
Speaker 2: on planes regularly?
Speaker 3: Well, so this is what I was talking about on
Speaker 3: yeah about yeah, but still as we were talking about
Speaker 3: how like Game Pro magazines, there was a time when
Speaker 3: like tomb Raider was the hot shit, and like like
Speaker 3: virtual titties were like Laura Cross, Yeah, they were all
Speaker 3: up in the buildings. So I'd be flipping through the
Speaker 3: Game Pro and I'd see like dead or Alive Volleyball,
Speaker 3: which was like this da remember that, Yeah, where it
Speaker 3: was just like fake video game titties. But it got
Speaker 3: my young dick on who boy.
Speaker 1: And so once again, how old?
Speaker 3: So it was last year?
Speaker 1: We're just like, why are we circling the bowl here?
Speaker 2: I know, I'm trying to get any information. You're telling
Speaker 2: all the shit that we're not asking about. I'm asking
Speaker 2: your age.
Speaker 1: I like it, Blake. I like your story, Blake.
Speaker 2: I do I like it too. I'm just saying he's
Speaker 2: being cagy with the details.
Speaker 3: I would probably say it was in junior high. Right,
Speaker 3: that's probably when tomb Raider was firing and I wasn't
Speaker 3: you know, I'm still shooting blanks.
Speaker 4: Like I wonder if we could find out exactly what
Speaker 4: flight it was, because there's like records of this, Right.
Speaker 1: You were shooting blanks junior high. Bro, Oh my, you
Speaker 1: know that about me. I was full blown loading.
Speaker 3: I was a late bloomer, guys, Sorry time late bloom.
Speaker 1: Here's the science of the visectomy. If you guys want
Speaker 1: it like I don't like it. A vasectomy works by
Speaker 1: stopping sperm getting into a man's semen the fluid that
Speaker 1: he ejaculates. We all knew that.
Speaker 2: I thinking we know what that?
Speaker 1: Well, do you just you just squeeze your dick really hard.
Speaker 3: No, that is true.
Speaker 2: That's one of the techniques.
Speaker 1: Back it up. There's the tubes that carrie sperm from
Speaker 1: a man's testicles to the penis are cut, blocked, or
Speaker 1: sealed with heat. No, oh, they are cauterized corduroid. You
Speaker 1: have to wear corduroys. Right. This means that when a
Speaker 1: man ejaculates, the semen has no sperm in it, and
Speaker 1: a woman's egg cannot be fertilized. So that's the whole point.
Speaker 3: That just flooded me with memories. I actually think I
Speaker 3: did have that knowledge somewhere in my brain for sure.
Speaker 1: Crazy dude. Wow, yeah, fucking flooded.
Speaker 2: Wow, I learned a thing once and uh no.
Speaker 3: I'm actually hell a smart. You just have to knock
Speaker 3: the knowledge loose. And then I'm like, yeah, yeah, I
Speaker 3: knew that, right, right, I knew that.
Speaker 2: I can't explain it exactly, but yeah I knew that
Speaker 2: for sure.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Say it to me and I will confirm.
Speaker 1: That it's true, you know, repeat it back to you. Yeah, okay, So, Blake,
Speaker 1: did you know this that you can reverse it? And
Speaker 1: it's like ninety nine percent reversible.
Speaker 3: I did not know that.
Speaker 4: Wow, it can still wrangle its way, like shit still
Speaker 4: goes on. I had a buddy who I swam with
Speaker 4: who got it and then he was like, didn't work.
Speaker 2: Oh my god.
Speaker 1: Well, it depends on how quickly you're you're blasting. Afterwards.
Speaker 1: You have to clear the chamber. You have to you
Speaker 1: have to shoot like, you know, like twenty five times
Speaker 1: to clear it. Really. Yeah, yeah, you gotta God damn it, honey,
Speaker 1: I mean you're clearing it exactly. Do you want another kid?
Speaker 3: Then?
Speaker 1: Let me watch this. It's been a year.
Speaker 2: So are you going to take a big weekend? Are
Speaker 2: you going to take the oculus uh spot.
Speaker 1: To your cabin a romantic weekend?
Speaker 3: Really treat yourself.
Speaker 2: Yeah, really treat yourself and just clear the tubes.
Speaker 3: Yeah, unload the banana clip.
Speaker 1: Oh it feels like something I could throw on the calendar. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I feel like she doesn't want to be around you
Speaker 2: on a weekend that you're truly trying to jerk off
Speaker 2: twenty times.
Speaker 1: That's a lot, twenty five. It's a job twenty five.
Speaker 2: Yeah. That you're going to work, right, You're going to work.
Speaker 1: Honestly, guys.
Speaker 3: I like to say it, but I think we have
Speaker 3: a movie idea. I think we slipped and fell into
Speaker 3: a movie idea.
Speaker 4: Oh clear, the chambers disgusting. Don't say it like that
Speaker 4: really slipped it.
Speaker 3: Okay, you're taking the road back to come down. But
Speaker 3: come on now, I'm saying. Four best friends all get
Speaker 3: snipped and they go to a house.
Speaker 2: Kle is starring in this movie.
Speaker 3: Oh Kyle is the least.
Speaker 1: I'm a part of the ensemble. Bro. Yeah, get used
Speaker 1: to it.
Speaker 2: Get used to it, dude, I am used to it. Okay,
Speaker 2: I was just I was wondering.
Speaker 1: Wait, I want to hear this huge comedy.
Speaker 3: No, I'm already rewriting it. One friend gets snipped, My
Speaker 3: one friend gets snipped. Kyle the star of the movie,
Speaker 3: and his three best friends go with him to like
Speaker 3: a house in the desert to do his last twenty
Speaker 3: five ejaculations, and they want to make each one special. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Wait, you guys are gonna be there for me. I'm
Speaker 1: just gonna take this.
Speaker 2: Or they want to make each ejack a special event
Speaker 2: for him.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a It's like, you know, he's like coming
Speaker 3: to terms with like he can never create life again.
Speaker 3: So we're like, let's treat each ejaculation like a birth
Speaker 3: of a child.
Speaker 4: Can I flip this a little bit, absolutely and make
Speaker 4: it more of a build a female driven.
Speaker 2: Okay, and that's hot right now, those cells.
Speaker 4: So a woman gets pregnant her husband and they're so happy,
Speaker 4: and he's like, you know what, honey.
Speaker 1: She's like, I'm just done with kids. We can't do
Speaker 1: this anymore, Like it's too much.
Speaker 2: She hates kids. Maybe she hates kids.
Speaker 1: Well, she's she's had, she she's with them.
Speaker 4: She wants to move on from having more kids. And
Speaker 4: he's like, totally get it.
Speaker 2: You know what she has.
Speaker 4: Let's get snipped, right. So he gets snipped and he goes, honey,
Speaker 4: I'm gonna go away for this weekend. I got twenty
Speaker 4: five shots. I gotta bang out. You don't want to
Speaker 4: be around for that.
Speaker 1: He leaves. She has a miscarriage the next day. Oh
Speaker 1: my god. And now she's gotta get to this. Guys,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I forgot comedy is dead? Wait? Howat this is? Sad?
Speaker 1: Don't know how you get past the seat.
Speaker 2: Hey, he's setting it up, let's give it.
Speaker 4: I haven't said they haven't said the punchline yet. She's
Speaker 4: got to get to the cabin before there's twenty five
Speaker 4: nut bus because once he passes the nut bus and
Speaker 4: so like you're intercutting from her, like you know, the.
Speaker 1: Car will breakdown, she'll run into her.
Speaker 2: So there's there's truly a ticking cock, oh a chacking cock.
Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, I love that. And maybe the place he
Speaker 3: went is there's no cell phone.
Speaker 1: So exactly there's just porn tapes. Yeah, it's the cabin.
Speaker 2: It's a cabin.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you could come up to the cabin.
Speaker 2: Yes, there's just it was his it was his creepy
Speaker 2: old grandpa who just went there to die and just
Speaker 2: has a wall of dusty old porno tapes.
Speaker 1: Right, and you're inner cutting, so it's just you.
Speaker 2: You're just jerking off to like Christy Canyons or whatever
Speaker 2: whatever old porn Betty Page or something.
Speaker 1: That's great. But his grandpa here or his grandpa dying
Speaker 1: in the movie, Yeah, we could throw that in like
Speaker 1: the like deleted scenes.
Speaker 2: Yeah, maybe in the coda the very very end of
Speaker 2: the movie, after the credits is we like we walk
Speaker 2: back and find him still jerking off of the woods,
Speaker 2: like he goes on a walk. He thought he was
Speaker 2: dead the whole time, but like, yeah, we think he's
Speaker 2: dead and he's still and what is the coda? I
Speaker 2: think that isn't that uh like after the little scene
Speaker 2: after their credits roll.
Speaker 1: Oh it's not like the secret scene. It's like I
Speaker 1: think it's the last last bum, you know, like the
Speaker 1: last notes.
Speaker 4: Yeah, like that's what is That is the led Zeppelin
Speaker 4: album Coda their last album.
Speaker 3: So that was a Come related album? Oh my god, No, wait,
Speaker 3: we're not talking about Come anymore.
Speaker 2: Wait god damn yeah. Hold on, like jerks off on
Speaker 2: one plane when he was nineteen years old.
Speaker 1: And it blew my fucking mind.
Speaker 2: Bro, the jerks off one time on a plane when
Speaker 2: he was in his late teens and suddenly he just
Speaker 2: has Jiz on the brain.
Speaker 1: His brain has come.
Speaker 3: I'm sorry, No, it crossed with because Kyle's dogs names Coda, Yeah,
Speaker 3: Come Soda.
Speaker 1: Oh that's right.
Speaker 3: I wasn't totally out of the blue.
Speaker 1: I was like, wait, where are you getting? Okay?
Speaker 3: I know, I was like, wait, what the fuck does
Speaker 3: happened to my brain?
Speaker 1: Because my dog Coda is also known as Come Soda.
Speaker 4: But I I feel so bad for everybody listening who's like,
Speaker 4: I gotta stop.
Speaker 1: I can't follow it anymore. But it's not that. But
Speaker 1: it's not that.
Speaker 6: Yes, smart, he's a smart guy, smart guy, really really smart.
Speaker 1: I'm like scared to talk because I'm pretty sure I'm
Speaker 1: chunking hard.
Speaker 3: That's good. It's good to be scared to talk on
Speaker 3: a podcast.
Speaker 1: Yeah. No, I'm like, I feel like I'm about, like,
Speaker 1: you know, five seconds behind you, guys.
Speaker 3: I apologize, Yeah, and what about the actual internet?
Speaker 2: You always are.
Speaker 1: Saying, wait, he's gonna get it in three two. I
Speaker 1: get you, guys at the right time, but I put
Speaker 1: it out there different.
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, guys, this is fun.
Speaker 3: Ye, I know, Adam, you're that guy. I'm not the
Speaker 3: It's like, you don't have to eat it just because
Speaker 3: you can. I don't understand. We should establish the animals
Speaker 3: we eat, and then the rest of them we just
Speaker 3: leave the fuck alone. Like chickens are cool.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but in that culture they do eat bats, and
Speaker 2: that culture they are chickens.
Speaker 1: So the chickens of the sky.
Speaker 2: So when you're there, I want to experience their culture.
Speaker 2: And part of their culture is eating bats in some
Speaker 2: places humans, In which case, which would you, guys, eat human?
Speaker 1: Cannibal? Human?
Speaker 4: I don't think I would unless it was just like
Speaker 4: a real perky but that you just use slice like
Speaker 4: a square out of Oh is pop it?
Speaker 2: Oh you're talking torture. I'm talking.
Speaker 1: Well, no, the person's not alive. I'm not gonna eat
Speaker 1: a live person.
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, But what if?
Speaker 1: Way, what if I was like, hey, guys, I'll give
Speaker 1: you a piece of my haunch and you can cook
Speaker 1: it up and eat it. And it's a surgery and
Speaker 1: it's a planned surgery, and I'm like, I want to
Speaker 1: lose weight, so I'm going to cut some of my
Speaker 1: meat off of my bones and deliver it to you
Speaker 1: guys and have a prized chef come and cook it up.
Speaker 1: Would you grab I would do that to someone.
Speaker 2: I don't know if I would. I think you're actually
Speaker 2: you know what, because I bet your skin is mad
Speaker 2: like sour and salty.
Speaker 1: Yeah all right, No, okay, it's got taste.
Speaker 3: I'll tell you what tastes like soy sauce.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he tastes already. I imagine you are You taste
Speaker 2: like like you're pickled a little bit?
Speaker 1: So was this preseasoned?
Speaker 2: I think? Uh yeah, No, I was gonna say I
Speaker 2: wouldn't want to eat Cole I'd like to eat someone else.
Speaker 2: But the more I think about it, I think you
Speaker 2: gotta you gotta some tasty sour patch kid haunches.
Speaker 3: Ile is the the kim chi of our friends first?
Speaker 1: Sure, No, he's the pickled egg, the pickled cabbage, the
Speaker 1: pickled whatever. I'm just pickled.
Speaker 4: You would want to eat like a piece of like
Speaker 4: a fitness finspirational what do they call the finn finfluenciers?
Speaker 2: You're talking about my other career, Yes, right.
Speaker 1: You would.
Speaker 4: You would want to eat a slice of that that
Speaker 4: butt right there, pearl so Adam Adam?
Speaker 1: So would you eat a little bit of Adam?
Speaker 4: I would eat Adam's butt over your butt, for sure,
Speaker 4: just because I know that the it's a leaner meat.
Speaker 1: It's a leaner meat, for sure. These are two these
Speaker 1: are these are two parallel questions. One is would you
Speaker 1: eat in this? I guess, okay, you're eating Adam over
Speaker 1: me whatever. That's what we got to.
Speaker 2: That's I don't know, because I think I'm like just
Speaker 2: a blick a muscle, and I think it would be
Speaker 2: too tough. I think it'd be too tough.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's tough meat.
Speaker 2: You need that sweet marbling that Kyle has you.
Speaker 1: But but but let me just say this. Let me
Speaker 1: say this.
Speaker 4: If I'm if I'm eating anybody's butt, it'll be the
Speaker 4: best butt of the group.
Speaker 1: It'll be Blake.
Speaker 3: But that's eating out my butt. You're actually eating there,
Speaker 3: but you're eating out mine.
Speaker 1: I feel like, first out of them, I'm giving you
Speaker 1: my muffin top. That's what's happening. I'm cutting that right off,
Speaker 1: and that's getting that's all fat, that's the delicacy. That's
Speaker 1: good stuff. Bro. You want that though, you do, you.
Speaker 2: Do want You don't want to eat a lot of that.
Speaker 2: But if you are gonna eat a human being, you're
Speaker 2: gonna want some fat in there. You don't want to
Speaker 2: just say.
Speaker 1: I want lean like Buffalo burger style. That's what I want.
Speaker 2: So you want the filet mignon. Okay, I'm a I'm
Speaker 2: more of a ribbi guy.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, No, I don't like I don't like fatty.
Speaker 1: Uh yeah, I'm not into it now. I'm trying to
Speaker 1: figure out what I eat because I'm a vegetarian. Likenles
Speaker 1: got that wag you booty.
Speaker 2: Uh And and by the way, I know you said
Speaker 2: Blake has the nicest ass in the group, and yeah,
Speaker 2: I understand you're getting under my skin.
Speaker 1: Gotta.
Speaker 2: I saw this gift the other day.
Speaker 3: I don't say of your own butt, of my own ass.
Speaker 2: It was from it was from the show, and I
Speaker 2: I forget what it was. But we were in like
Speaker 2: medical uh we're in the hospital and I'm turning around
Speaker 2: and you see it, just the side of my ass
Speaker 2: to hot, hot, HoTT dude, and it was just fucking perfect.
Speaker 5: Man.
Speaker 2: I was like, I almost send it to you, guys,
Speaker 2: but then I was like, I don't want to send
Speaker 2: photos of my own ass to my friends, right, but I'd.
Speaker 1: Rather talk about it. I'd rather talk about it rather
Speaker 1: save it for the pod. Guys.
Speaker 3: I'll tell you right now, do you ever want to
Speaker 3: send me nudes? I'm down. I want nudes from my
Speaker 3: fellas at all times. They they make me laugh. They
Speaker 3: make me all the time.
Speaker 1: Hey, you guys out there, you heard it. If you
Speaker 1: want to send dudes, send it to Blake's DM.
Speaker 3: No, I'm not asking. I'm not asking the general public.
Speaker 3: I want him only from my very close dude friends.
Speaker 1: Subliminally, he meant everyone out there, Blake, I have hold
Speaker 1: on one second, Blake. I have wanted to send you,
Speaker 1: uh some some nudes in the past, but I've been
Speaker 1: afraid that after it goes to your inbox, it might
Speaker 1: skip and step somewhere else. Can we make a pact
Speaker 1: that if any of us send each other nudes for
Speaker 1: a laugh, that which just stops in the inbox and
Speaker 1: it doesn't go anywhere else. When have I ever been
Speaker 1: Where's he gonna go? No fappening. I don't want.
Speaker 3: I'm not gonna fappen in my homies. When have I
Speaker 3: ever leaked nudes? Dude, You're they're safe with me.
Speaker 1: I'm just establishing a pact. That's it.
Speaker 3: Okay.
Speaker 2: Well, see with Blake, Blake's a collector, like if you
Speaker 2: send him, if you send me a nude, it's already gone,
Speaker 2: right it leaked.
Speaker 3: It's not for me, it's for everyone.
Speaker 2: I look at it, and I'm a human snapchat when
Speaker 2: it comes to saving things and digital things.
Speaker 1: Your mind is a Snapchat.
Speaker 2: It'll only yeah, just I see it and then it's gone.
Speaker 2: Then it's just in the deep recesses of my computer
Speaker 2: that I'll never be able to find. With Blake, he's
Speaker 2: going to categorize it. You'll have all the you know,
Speaker 2: it'll be there forever.
Speaker 4: He'll tag it frumpy Zity Kyle. But Fisher's hemis.
Speaker 1: That's why I have to make sure to establish this
Speaker 1: past because I do want to send him, Yeah, I
Speaker 1: do want to send him funny picks. Uh, but I'm
Speaker 1: I'm a little nervous about where they're going to end up.
Speaker 3: Don't be nervous.
Speaker 1: Hey, did you.
Speaker 2: Guys know that Jeffrey Jeffrey Dahmer uh serial killer?
Speaker 3: Absolutely yes, my twin.
Speaker 2: He drilled in people's heads and then he'd pour uh.
Speaker 2: McBride was telling me this. He poured uh fucking orange
Speaker 2: juice in people's heads. So like do he wanted to
Speaker 2: turn them into zombies. It's science. That was like his thing,
Speaker 2: orange juice.
Speaker 3: I don't know about the orange juice detail. But he
Speaker 3: would for sure draw small like lobottomize his victims before
Speaker 3: he would murder them.
Speaker 1: Is that nice or does that mean I guess that's nice?
Speaker 3: Right?
Speaker 1: Well, I don't know. Then they don't know what's happening. No,
Speaker 1: lobottomizing is nice. Way. You guys are just so negative.
Speaker 1: I'm trying to be positive.
Speaker 2: The nicest thing would be to not murder them.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, just go have coffee with it.
Speaker 2: But then if you are going to murder someone, you
Speaker 2: shoot him right in the head. You just murder them.
Speaker 1: But he's not right, so he's the bottomizing them. So
Speaker 1: they don't know what's happening at least, but.
Speaker 2: They still feel things.
Speaker 1: Oh no, but they don't know. But they don't know,
Speaker 1: deser No, this is not good.
Speaker 3: I mean I remember when I was I used to like, really,
Speaker 3: I don't know, I'm not still obsessed with serial killers.
Speaker 3: But my aunt used to have this encyclopedia of serial
Speaker 3: killers at her house, and when I was really young,
Speaker 3: I would always.
Speaker 1: Was she doing these days?
Speaker 3: She's great, she has she loves her cats, she loves me.
Speaker 3: It's all fine, she has a pool, She's an awesome person.
Speaker 3: But this book was like the encyclopedia of serial killers.
Speaker 3: And those books always have like ten pages of crime scene.
Speaker 1: Photos pictures in the middle.
Speaker 3: Yes, and I was like strangely addicted and it would
Speaker 3: scare the fuck out of me. But I was like
Speaker 3: strangely addicted to looking at those photos.
Speaker 5: When did you jerk off to them?
Speaker 1: Whoa could? I love it? Actually?
Speaker 4: I think like the Hentai titties are pretty cool. But
Speaker 4: why is it that every Henty video, the like super
Speaker 4: hot chicks with the giant titties, also have like a
Speaker 4: monster hog cock?
Speaker 1: What is that? There's not just one? Straight up No,
Speaker 1: I don't know Hentai very well. I apologize.
Speaker 2: I'm also not in that world.
Speaker 4: It's like the CGI porno where you're like, you click
Speaker 4: on it and you go this so this could be cool,
Speaker 4: and you're like, whoa, look out good, the graphics have come.
Speaker 4: It's pretty hot, and then it's just a giant vany
Speaker 4: hog on a woman and you're like, it's not really
Speaker 4: my thing?
Speaker 2: Is there any Yeah, well it's some people's thing, okay,
Speaker 2: don't kink shame, okay.
Speaker 4: But it's all of it. I'm saying, is there a
Speaker 4: little something for the freaks like me that's still.
Speaker 2: Like it natch natural cartoon?
Speaker 3: Well?
Speaker 1: Have you looked up Henti woman no dick? Yeah?
Speaker 3: Have you googled that Henti woman no dick?
Speaker 4: That's too much I don't want to get I don't
Speaker 4: want to start googling.
Speaker 2: Then you're in the weeds. Then you're a Hendti guy. Okay,
Speaker 2: you don't want to be a I.
Speaker 4: Don't want to be a Hentai guy, and no, no
Speaker 4: offense to the Hentai guy.
Speaker 1: Maybe try googling specifically what you'd like, you know.
Speaker 2: But like then I'm like, see he's an accidental He's
Speaker 2: like a thank oops this video? How did this come
Speaker 2: into the queue?
Speaker 1: I'm not a familiar Sure is this a demon fucking
Speaker 1: a woman?
Speaker 3: Here?
Speaker 1: Let's click on that, right?
Speaker 3: Yes, this is what. Here's what I'll say about any
Speaker 3: animated pornography. It gets weird quick. It's like a portal
Speaker 3: to bizarre stuff. You know, no kinkshaming, but it gets
Speaker 3: it gets weird. It has a dark side to it
Speaker 3: as well.
Speaker 2: Well, we can kink shame, yeah, we can king shame
Speaker 2: some stuff. Some stuffer is you know, fucking bizarre.
Speaker 1: It's bizarre. Saying it's bizarre doesn't necessarily mean it's shameful.
Speaker 1: It's just saying it is bizarre.
Speaker 3: Right now, let's well, let's dissect the word bizarre. The
Speaker 3: root word by okay, that means the tzar pre bizarre.
Speaker 3: A tzar was a king or a sultant in mid
Speaker 3: century Russia.
Speaker 2: Right were you when you jerked off on flights, Blake?
Speaker 1: I was twenty.
Speaker 3: I don't have a pinpoint date. I will try to
Speaker 3: find the game pro and that got me going, well.
Speaker 4: Well, will you tell us about the plane, the experience,
Speaker 4: the equipment as they call it, what the experience?
Speaker 1: Did you wait?
Speaker 2: Was it a nighttime fly? Was this midday? Were you
Speaker 2: going there in the middle of the morning?
Speaker 1: Tell me about like the seat situation. Who were you
Speaker 1: sitting next to it?
Speaker 4: Is this like a one seat on the other side
Speaker 4: and two on the other because you're just flying from
Speaker 4: LA from what airport to what?
Speaker 1: And what kind of pants are you rock and sweatpants?
Speaker 1: Are these sweatpants? Is middle school? You're unaccompanied? Who were
Speaker 1: you sitting next.
Speaker 3: To There's details that are foggy, but it was not
Speaker 3: a night flight. It was like an afternoon flight.
Speaker 1: Afternoon flight, afternoon flight.
Speaker 3: And there was a gentleman sitting next to me, but
Speaker 3: he was sleeping. He was he was.
Speaker 1: Wow, did you sleep, attack gentleman? There was a gentleman sleeping?
Speaker 3: Next year, I know, I know for damn certain you
Speaker 3: guys must have had an instant in your teenage horniest
Speaker 3: years that you jay oed a time or place that
Speaker 3: was inappropriate or you just should have kept it on.
Speaker 4: Yeah, sure, Blake, we're not talking about us it's it's
Speaker 4: in the hundreds, if not thousands.
Speaker 1: But we're talking about you right now. We didn't go
Speaker 1: on another podcast to talk about it.
Speaker 2: Okay, Hey, yeah, see we bring our dirty stories to
Speaker 2: this podcast.
Speaker 3: It was pre this is important.
Speaker 1: So and what does that mean before?
Speaker 3: Yes, it was before we had oh thank you.
Speaker 1: So you were prematurely I was.
Speaker 3: Prematurely spilling my jo beans on another a podcast.
Speaker 4: Wait, so this is so this is but this is
Speaker 4: pre pre come or this is pre Okay, So you
Speaker 4: just did an air pop on an airplane.
Speaker 3: I did an air pop on an airplane pre air pods.
Speaker 3: So we know that's the time frame.
Speaker 1: Well, that's the best time to do something like that,
Speaker 1: when you're dry popping. Yeah, that's when.
Speaker 3: You can get away with it. Tell your kids so
Speaker 3: you don't.
Speaker 1: Have to clean up anything.
Speaker 3: Well let's not.
Speaker 1: Let's not freeze it like, that's when you can get
Speaker 1: away with it.
Speaker 3: No, this is what I'm gonna tell my kids.
Speaker 2: It is though, and that's why we are living in
Speaker 2: a worse time where now children when they're alone and
Speaker 2: they're just in their horny est state and they're just
Speaker 2: they're they're jiggling on the flight a little bit and
Speaker 2: just the bounce is making their balls just kind of
Speaker 2: just kind of just.
Speaker 1: Right just.
Speaker 2: Off the seat, and the air pressure is kind of
Speaker 2: walking them up. And you know there's a stewardess there
Speaker 2: and she's a living woman, so that's crazy.
Speaker 1: She's a walking, talking woman.
Speaker 2: And then there's a guy who's asleep next to you.
Speaker 2: Is that a weird thing that turns you on for
Speaker 2: no reason?
Speaker 1: That forearm hair?
Speaker 3: He's gone if you're watching space Jam Lola Bunny.
Speaker 2: But nowadays everyone has a goddamn video camera in their
Speaker 2: pocket called a cell phone, and the kids are not
Speaker 2: safe to jerk off anymore, right.
Speaker 1: Thank you. You can't get away with nothing. Because what
Speaker 1: was the.
Speaker 2: Bad worst thing that was gonna happen in the dare
Speaker 2: I say best decade Blakey the nineties? The worst thing
Speaker 2: that was gonna happen is that guy's gonna wake up
Speaker 2: and just see little Froe Blake just all throwed out,
Speaker 2: just yanking his meat stick under.
Speaker 1: A game pro.
Speaker 2: I got a big fucking boner, right, you know, And
Speaker 2: that would be a weird encounter, you'd land we'd have a.
Speaker 1: Laugh about it.
Speaker 4: To have a laugh, he'd tell my dad, Guy next
Speaker 4: to Yeah, the guy next to you definitely just gives
Speaker 4: you a nod.
Speaker 1: He's like, this is important.
Speaker 3: This is also pre nine to eleven. So he'd see
Speaker 3: my father as soon as we got off the flight.
Speaker 3: He'd be like, dude, your son easy. I caught him
Speaker 3: looking at Laura Kraft.
Speaker 1: He alright, all right, they all chest bump. He's all right, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: he's all right, all right, all right.
Speaker 3: Back to what durst, you just pitched a really good
Speaker 3: movie because you could have this whole like this. No,
Speaker 3: this lady and her best friend are on a buddy.
Speaker 4: And the best friend is like super pregnant, ready to pop.
Speaker 1: She's not supposed to go.
Speaker 3: And then you just keep cutting the husband having just
Speaker 3: like the weirdest jerk off scenes like twenty five.
Speaker 1: Scenes, right, and then you're back to the action.
Speaker 3: And then you're back to the heartfelt story, and then
Speaker 3: you cut to the dumb dude just.
Speaker 1: Like, right, bro, this is the strangest.
Speaker 2: Well it can also like you, like your original pitch,
Speaker 2: I want to save some of that because you know
Speaker 2: there was some meat on those bones and just to.
Speaker 1: Those balls, so to speak.
Speaker 2: Sure, well, yeah, like some of those scenes should be
Speaker 2: pretty beautiful. Yes, well, because he's dealing with he's really
Speaker 2: finding himself out there and he's really join he's underneath.
Speaker 1: The water outdoor Jack Sessions, for sure.
Speaker 2: He's jerking off. And right as he busts, he catches
Speaker 2: the salmon that.
Speaker 1: It it jumps up for the nut and then he
Speaker 1: grabs it.
Speaker 2: And he grabs it, yeah, just with his bare hands.
Speaker 2: By the lip it's flipping around and then and then
Speaker 2: it cuts to him eating it perfect, yes, exactly. Guess
Speaker 2: what he doesn't have any lowries? What's it going to
Speaker 2: use to season it? Oo?
Speaker 3: Now that's nasty.
Speaker 1: I don't know what is it gonna use?
Speaker 2: Hey, I don't know he needs something salty. I don't know.
Speaker 2: I don't know what he's going to use. Let's let
Speaker 2: the audience decide.
Speaker 1: Adam, what would be salty to your knowledge.
Speaker 2: Something that salty and kind of buttery tats and I'm
Speaker 2: not sure.
Speaker 1: I don't know what is that?
Speaker 3: The description alloy is what it's called.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it tastes exactly like uh from all the loads
Speaker 2: that I've swallowed, uh swallowed, not tasting salty and buttery.
Speaker 2: Salty and buttery, right.
Speaker 1: And is a valid replacement for lowries.
Speaker 2: Or like an old bay or like an old.
Speaker 1: Is that like a seasoning?
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's another season cool tight.
Speaker 4: Yeah, well I think we got some. I was picturing
Speaker 4: like a wild horses running by the guy when he's
Speaker 4: just stroking it.
Speaker 2: Yes, maybe he gets maybe one stops and sees him
Speaker 2: doing right and just looks like he's gonna charge him,
Speaker 2: and then just bows down. You know, horses get like
Speaker 2: a cross.
Speaker 1: The right one hu yeah there, Neil, Yeah.
Speaker 2: One in front of the other and then just bows
Speaker 2: down like it's some sort of magical moment between the
Speaker 2: two of them. And then for the rest of the movie,
Speaker 2: he just rides that butt naked horseback.
Speaker 1: Uh huh oh and he does a hands free e jack.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and he's riding it bareback.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: That's also kind of a sexual term. There's a lot here, guys.
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's so much here.
Speaker 3: Great movie.
Speaker 1: I would love to spend some moments on this some
Speaker 1: of that, and then also roll through like twelve of
Speaker 1: them quick like oh yeah, yeah, he does it on
Speaker 1: the way up, he bangs. There's twenty five. We have
Speaker 1: to get through twenty.
Speaker 2: Five a love Yeah, you're gonna want to move.
Speaker 3: It all every single cutaway should be a new genre
Speaker 3: for sure, genre bending.
Speaker 2: And guess what it's a it's a ticking cock, right,
Speaker 2: but that cock has a tick twenty five times and
Speaker 2: that's a lot of ticking.
Speaker 4: And what's cool is it by the end when he
Speaker 4: when he gets up to like the fifteen's the late teens, like.
Speaker 1: When the movies when the audience is glued to their
Speaker 1: seats in the screen. Right, it's tough. He can't just
Speaker 1: go back to back pops.
Speaker 3: What about the dark nut of the soul?
Speaker 2: Dark blake? Hit it?
Speaker 3: Yes, points, you give it to yourself.
Speaker 2: There you go, baby, Yes points.
Speaker 1: You earned it?
Speaker 4: Great?
Speaker 1: Thank you? Cool?
Speaker 4: And then you know what, we can show something earlier
Speaker 4: that foreskin shadows what happens later.
Speaker 3: The way you didn't know it was going to be
Speaker 3: back shadows.
Speaker 1: I'm just saying, if we can find something in the
Speaker 1: right vein.
Speaker 4: You, yes, And I don't want to rip off any
Speaker 4: old movie like Shaft or.
Speaker 3: Yes Go There anymore anymore. Wow, he's gotta take a
Speaker 3: sip of beer after that run.
Speaker 1: My boy had.
Speaker 3: To cool down.
Speaker 2: He's gotta wet that whistle.
Speaker 4: But like the soundtrack could be amazing. You could get
Speaker 4: like Jaretha Franklin.
Speaker 3: Oh yes, but.
Speaker 1: Hell yeah, do you guys want to hear some crazy shit?
Speaker 3: Yeah? Wait, hold on, we got some breaking news here.
Speaker 4: I was just in Yosemite for almost a week with
Speaker 4: my family and stuff.
Speaker 3: Hell yeah, bro.
Speaker 4: And first of all, Yosemite is dope. Go check it out.
Speaker 2: It's way dope.
Speaker 1: El cap. There's like some sequoia trees that you could
Speaker 1: drive through.
Speaker 2: That's the really the only national park I've ever been to.
Speaker 2: It's fucking stunning, gorgeous.
Speaker 1: It's crazy. But so we're up there and my little.
Speaker 3: One is like, there's a worm in my poo poo and.
Speaker 1: We're like, huh oh, my god.
Speaker 4: Emma goes to check the duke in. Sure enough, there's
Speaker 4: a little worm going and then we're like, well, he's
Speaker 4: got pinworm. So we have to like all take this medicine.
Speaker 4: And then the next day my big dog is like, Dad,
Speaker 4: there's a snake in a worm in my poop poo too.
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's a raccoon coming out of my penis. He
Speaker 1: was like, he's like, I had a worm too.
Speaker 4: So we're all like boiling her clothes and like changing
Speaker 4: the sheets and like emailing everyone at the schools and stuff.
Speaker 1: Wait, wait, what does that?
Speaker 2: What does that mean?
Speaker 3: Why?
Speaker 2: Worms in your poop? What does that mean?
Speaker 4: So, like, if you're a little kid and you're like
Speaker 4: sucking your thumb all the time, like I guess there's
Speaker 4: like in germs, like somehow there's like eggs that can
Speaker 4: get like left like on your fingernails and stuff like that,
Speaker 4: and then you suck on your thumb and then it
Speaker 4: goes into your body and then worms grow in your
Speaker 4: digestive track and they eat your food, right, and then
Speaker 4: like every once in a while you shit one out
Speaker 4: And like, I'm just checking my dukie every day. Different
Speaker 4: than dookie trends, but it is gnarlist that's cool.
Speaker 2: So how do you check your doukie? Do you do?
Speaker 2: You fish it out of the toilet and like take
Speaker 2: a fork and kind of smash.
Speaker 1: It up and mash it in my hands. I squeezed. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Do you kind of get one of those like garlic
Speaker 3: peelers and kind of run it through that?
Speaker 1: And yeah, how do you check exactly the playdose style? Yeah?
Speaker 3: Do you get kids playdoes?
Speaker 1: These are all good ideas? I should look into it.
Speaker 3: You squish it out, make it look like dreads coming
Speaker 3: out of the little toys, Yo.
Speaker 4: You dookie, and then you just kind of get up
Speaker 4: all weird and you turn around your eyeball it and
Speaker 4: you're like looking for any movement. And then when you're like, okay,
Speaker 4: it's not that.
Speaker 3: Why is this making my butthole itch?
Speaker 4: I mean, hey, I can't. I'm waiting for it, but
Speaker 4: I already took the medicine.
Speaker 1: How big was this thing? Man? How big was the worm?
Speaker 1: Like a half inch long?
Speaker 2: Well that's so, I mean that's pretty big.
Speaker 1: Sorry, I said half a schlong. So it was pretty big.
Speaker 2: So your kids at least six inches. They got some
Speaker 2: big old wambows. I'm down there, I know they did.
Speaker 2: Sure do huge cocks.
Speaker 1: They got my exact same.
Speaker 3: So do the worms get transferred through clothing to other
Speaker 3: people in the house? Why do you have to boil
Speaker 3: everything they can? Oh my god, because like.
Speaker 1: They the eggs.
Speaker 4: There's like eggs on your butthole, like you gotta wash
Speaker 4: your ship.
Speaker 1: It's crazy, clear wild stuff.
Speaker 2: It's cool that your children are investigating their shit intensely
Speaker 2: enough that they saw the worm.
Speaker 3: Yeah, how do you see the first Was it like
Speaker 3: a lot of worms?
Speaker 1: No, it's one.
Speaker 4: So he was three, and he's three and a half
Speaker 4: or whatever, almost a little more. But he just came
Speaker 4: out and was like, there's a worm in and you're
Speaker 4: like what.
Speaker 1: First of all, why are you looking like what?
Speaker 4: Second of all, like he must have felt a little
Speaker 4: squirm or something like that or heard it screaming from
Speaker 4: the toilet bowl. Well, but like Emma didn't believe him
Speaker 4: because you're just like, all right, but then kids.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you think he's making is doing some fun. Make
Speaker 2: believes right.
Speaker 4: We're all about the worm bits in our house too,
Speaker 4: which is like extra confusing.
Speaker 3: There's a dragon in my poop poop?
Speaker 4: Right, I pissed firecrackers, right, But then she checked it
Speaker 4: out and was like sure enough. And then Arnie, we
Speaker 4: were like is he trying to like be part of it?
Speaker 4: Because it got a lot.
Speaker 1: Of attention right right, right right, and we were like, see, like, uh,
Speaker 1: I have worms in my poo poo too.
Speaker 2: Right, Like you have no worms in your poo poo.
Speaker 1: I'm cool.
Speaker 3: You didn't see it was like twice as big, Yeah,
Speaker 3: there's an earthworm and his dookie. It's like, right, that
Speaker 3: doesn't add up.
Speaker 1: You dig that up from the backyard.
Speaker 3: Yeah, why are there roly polleys in your poop.
Speaker 2: There's just like you guys went fishing, there's like minnows
Speaker 2: in there.
Speaker 3: Yeah, dad, check out my turn.
Speaker 4: Did you guys call the big worms bloodsuckers back in
Speaker 4: the day?
Speaker 3: What leeches?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 4: Like the big earthworms? Yeah, for sure, big earthworms. We
Speaker 4: always call them bloodsuckers.
Speaker 3: No, I've heard them called nightcrawlers.
Speaker 2: Yeah, nightcrawlers because when are they nightcrawlers?
Speaker 1: Because they come out at night?
Speaker 2: Because they come out at night. Yeah, that was the
Speaker 2: most fun thing as a kid when uh we would
Speaker 2: like be camping going fishing the next morning and I
Speaker 2: was like, you got to go find those earthworms, those
Speaker 2: nightcrawlers to uh so we can fish the next morning.
Speaker 2: And then it's just you're hunting. You're covered in mud,
Speaker 2: and you feel like you're doing actual work getting them worms.
Speaker 3: Early bird gets the worm man. That's where the saying
Speaker 3: comes from.
Speaker 1: The worms are cool. So the moral of the story
Speaker 1: is my kids are cool because worms are cool.
Speaker 2: Yea, they did they feel sick? God did they feel?
Speaker 1: You don't even know. There's just parasites. They live in you.
Speaker 4: They eat your food, and I guess like if you
Speaker 4: don't check your dookie. It just takes like three months
Speaker 4: to cycle out. So you guys have all probably had.
Speaker 1: Them for sure. This is the meat worm, do you?
Speaker 2: And I'm always investigating my dukie, So that's weird that
Speaker 2: I haven't seen it.
Speaker 1: With the garlic thing, I.
Speaker 2: Always take it out, smash it up with a fork.
Speaker 2: That's why I kind of that was sort of my
Speaker 2: what I do with it.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, every time I take a ship.
Speaker 4: I shit on a plate and then I kind of
Speaker 4: shake it off into the toilet.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I just eat it, and you guys know that.
Speaker 2: I'm siphoning it through a little thing like you're searching
Speaker 2: for gold.
Speaker 1: Right, that's how we met.
Speaker 3: Well these are Yeah, I'm feeling like maybe we have
Speaker 3: a little olknor face because Carl was talking about Kyle.
Speaker 1: Yes, it's me. I don't have the rape van with me.
Speaker 3: He was talking about the red meat worm's last pod.
Speaker 3: And now all of a sudden, your kids have.
Speaker 4: Is the new saying instead of yolk on your face,
Speaker 4: you got a little worm in your butt.
Speaker 3: I got a little worm in your pool.
Speaker 4: Guys, I got a little worm in my butt.
Speaker 2: Now hear me out, guys, hear me out. Because I
Speaker 2: think this is a really really good idea. Do we uh,
Speaker 2: since we're talking sending nudes to each other, which I'm like,
Speaker 2: I mean, maybe sure, but don't we want to take
Speaker 2: really artful, artistic hardcore porno shoot hard uh and like
Speaker 2: having only fans or something?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 4: Yeah, we do, don't don't we don't?
Speaker 1: Don't we interesting phrase of a question.
Speaker 2: Only fans? Maybe we have like a calendar? Maybe did
Speaker 2: I chunk? Did you guys hear that? I'm saying you froze?
Speaker 1: But maybe maybe we do, Adam, Maybe we do.
Speaker 2: Maybe I'm saying we do a maybe we started only
Speaker 2: fans where it's just real hot content from us, but
Speaker 2: and then I kind of walked that back. I think
Speaker 2: what we should do is we just we have like
Speaker 2: really very sexual encounters with maybe with each other. Sensual
Speaker 2: I was gonna say. I said sexual, and what I
Speaker 2: mean is sensual.
Speaker 3: Photos, different things, very different.
Speaker 2: That we sell when we go on tour, and they're
Speaker 2: like calendars we do like sexy calendars, you know, calenders.
Speaker 3: Okay, I love your merch booth ideas.
Speaker 1: This is a merch I got.
Speaker 2: My merch brain is just fireing today. I don't know
Speaker 2: what it is your.
Speaker 1: Merch brain firing. What other thing that we talked about.
Speaker 1: He's boosting. He's just like he's boosting. Everything's a freaking
Speaker 1: opportunity with Yeah, I like it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, firing episode just a calendar, Like, so just twelve
Speaker 4: photos or like, are we talking about one of those
Speaker 4: three hundred and sixty five where you pull one off
Speaker 4: every day?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 2: Hell, I think I think that's that might be too
Speaker 2: much work and a lot of nudity.
Speaker 1: But think about this. Think about this.
Speaker 4: If on the first day it's just a shot of
Speaker 4: your flaccid penis, and then every day you peel back,
Speaker 4: it's like it gradually getting harder.
Speaker 2: That's going to have to be a big calendar for
Speaker 2: Meah oh, it gets harder. And then and then on
Speaker 2: New Year's Eve you bust. Yes, yeah, New Year's Eve
Speaker 2: if you bust, all right?
Speaker 1: Right, oh wow, so there's like actual Yeah, that's kind
Speaker 1: of interesting.
Speaker 3: Wait, so this just isn't the erection growing you're actually
Speaker 3: stimulating yourself.
Speaker 2: No, well, you don't see it.
Speaker 1: This is a flip book with three hundred and sixty
Speaker 1: five frames, and the first frame is a flaccid wang
Speaker 1: and then the last frame is a ces a cumshot.
Speaker 2: Well, we could release that and then ever say just
Speaker 2: say it's our collective dick. And what we could do
Speaker 2: is take this much photo of just a little one
Speaker 2: in photo of each of our dicks.
Speaker 1: I actually like this idea.
Speaker 2: It's a Frankenstein version of a dick, and it's just
Speaker 2: our collective dick.
Speaker 1: So we're never Frank Weenie, you're.
Speaker 2: Only showing this much of your dick.
Speaker 1: I would be down to put all of our dicks
Speaker 1: together in the photo shop and make a bigger dick.
Speaker 3: Wait, who's the vulture on on the crew? Who's the head?
Speaker 1: Bro? Hang on?
Speaker 4: But I hold up, I said, I said, Frank and Weenie,
Speaker 4: and I ain't get a yes point?
Speaker 1: Oh, yes, points point. I'm gonna go playing traffic yest.
Speaker 3: There we go. You got your points, bro, and give
Speaker 3: you flowers.
Speaker 1: What do you think I'm here for the points.
Speaker 3: We're here for the damn point fowers.
Speaker 4: God, it's so crazy that Adam you took that there,
Speaker 4: because that's exactly what I was thinking, hm with theizzing
Speaker 4: on the New Year's I was gonna say that that's crazy.
Speaker 2: Great mind slow, and that's and that's why it works
Speaker 2: so well together. Jersey.
Speaker 1: Yeah, let's put our heads together, I mean.
Speaker 3: Head on collisions, baby, And I'm not talking crash test me.
Speaker 1: Yikes.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 2: And so I think that's like some really cool uh
Speaker 2: merch or n f T Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's wrong. Actually, I was thinking that, like all
Speaker 3: this NFT ship I could give a fuck about. But
Speaker 3: doesn't it seem like the best place to drop like
Speaker 3: your nudes or sex tape if you are going to
Speaker 3: do that, right, like make it hell of exclusive?
Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, but what do you what do you want
Speaker 4: from your dropping your sex tape?
Speaker 2: Well, you could still see it. It could still be
Speaker 2: passed around the internet to everyone, but only one person
Speaker 2: actually owns it. You could still like post.
Speaker 4: It wherever, but not if that person has it, yeah.
Speaker 3: Right, like only one person owns it if you make
Speaker 3: it super exclusive.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but you could still it could still be everywhere
Speaker 2: on the internet.
Speaker 4: If that person puts it out there, right, But then
Speaker 4: that devalues it, right, So you're just buying it to
Speaker 4: put it out there.
Speaker 1: There's the whole thing of value is there's only one.
Speaker 1: There can only be one.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, we're so dumb.
Speaker 3: We don't have So you say, come over to my house,
Speaker 3: I have the nude. I will show it to you,
Speaker 3: but you have to pay at the door to see it.
Speaker 3: To see Blake's Blake's gooch.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think I bet Blake would get the most
Speaker 2: money for for his news, right, that's what I think you.
Speaker 2: I think you would, you would collect the most coin.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I could get behind that. If you watch Kyle's
Speaker 1: n FT, it's like that movie The Ring. We're like, you.
Speaker 4: See his butthole, like the hair, and all of a sudden,
Speaker 4: this fucking girl with long hair curls and sucking date.
Speaker 1: That would be a sick ass NFT.
Speaker 3: Well, how did they not make a ring? Porno?
Speaker 1: Pity?
Speaker 2: This ain't the ring?
Speaker 1: Oh bro, I guarantee you that shit exists, the cock ring.
Speaker 1: It exists, for sure.
Speaker 3: It's just the old ring. Dude, it's somebody's buttole.
Speaker 2: Blake. If you gotta rolls like a crazy serial killer?
Speaker 2: Would you? And they're like, but we expect we want
Speaker 2: him bald? Would you shave your head? What would it
Speaker 2: take for you to shave your head?
Speaker 1: M m mmmmmmmm shave not just a haircut, it's important.
Speaker 2: This is a shaved head situation. Woke has gone seven
Speaker 2: seasons you're already done with woke Okay, right, you don't
Speaker 2: need the money is now.
Speaker 3: I'll tell you what if I'm in this I'm in
Speaker 3: this southern heat long enough, I might shave my damn head.
Speaker 3: I'll tell you right, Hey, God, damn, it's hot as hell.
Speaker 3: I got a sweaty back.
Speaker 1: Of my neck.
Speaker 2: Dude, you are okay, but now you're deflecting. What would
Speaker 2: it take?
Speaker 1: Yeah, this is a great question. What would it take
Speaker 1: to cut your hair? This is a great question.
Speaker 3: Not cut your hair, shave your head.
Speaker 1: Shave your head?
Speaker 3: Uh huh, I mean it would. It would be a
Speaker 3: bit of an identity crisis for me.
Speaker 1: Why don't you cry about it?
Speaker 2: Why don't you cry?
Speaker 3: I would do it for a role though, I would like,
Speaker 3: Thank you God grows back.
Speaker 1: How long would it take you to grow your hair back?
Speaker 1: Two and a half three years?
Speaker 3: I have no idea.
Speaker 2: I mean, you would never because it would go through
Speaker 2: that weird phase that you went through when we lived together,
Speaker 2: where it just was like a little mushroom top.
Speaker 1: You could get back through it, the Guarini phase.
Speaker 2: Yes, where you just look like Corbyn blue like for
Speaker 2: like two years straight.
Speaker 1: Oh, sir, I don't like it. Corkin blue? Who's that
Speaker 1: he was.
Speaker 2: The kid from a high school musical type?
Speaker 1: Nice pole?
Speaker 3: Wow, durors, don't act like you don't know. You don't
Speaker 3: know about Corbyn.
Speaker 1: Blue dude never saw high school musical either.
Speaker 3: Oh okay, stop the presses.
Speaker 1: Are we giving flowers? I'm not giving flowers?
Speaker 2: Okay, So first of all, hang on, you don't watch
Speaker 2: Game of Thrones and high school musical? Are you guys watching?
Speaker 1: Man?
Speaker 2: You gotta watch the good stuff?
Speaker 1: Just shut your.
Speaker 3: Big What are you guys investing in car shows and swimming?
Speaker 3: Jesus Christ?
Speaker 2: You don't watch high school musical or Game of Thrones?
Speaker 2: Get the fuck out.
Speaker 1: At least I seen men in black? Okay, you know what?
Speaker 1: Whoa sh I saw? At least I seen men in black.
Speaker 2: Bro seen men in black.
Speaker 1: This dude brought a gun to a knife five right,
Speaker 1: No more, mister knife guy.
Speaker 2: I've seen it.
Speaker 1: Just got seated.
Speaker 2: He's like, okay, I've seen it, you've seen it. I've
Speaker 2: seen I don't remember the last part where you were
Speaker 2: looking underneath a cat's collar. I don't remember.
Speaker 1: You don't really don't remember.
Speaker 3: They zoom out in the entire universe is just in
Speaker 3: a marble that's in a cat's collar and you're like,
Speaker 3: oh fuck, dude.
Speaker 2: Yeah no, I was too. I probably left the theater
Speaker 2: to go watch Austin Powers again. That's probably what I.
Speaker 1: Did, was like, all right, fair, that's tight. I would
Speaker 1: see you.
Speaker 2: If I leave fifteen minutes early, I could catch all
Speaker 2: of Austin Powers so.
Speaker 3: I can get the minime reveal again.
Speaker 1: Yeah, baby, yeah, I make this shit look good. Thank you.
Speaker 3: Just the two of us, I'll make you horny. Baby.
Speaker 2: We're getting older, we're making we need to be making
Speaker 2: a little bit better decisions. I mean, I remember back
Speaker 2: in the day, me and Austin Anderson, friend of the Pod,
Speaker 2: we would drive up to Santa Barbara when we were
Speaker 2: like eighteen years old, and we'd go to Santa Barbara
Speaker 2: and then we'd walk around and look for open houses
Speaker 2: and meet the kids that were renting their rooms, like
Speaker 2: on what is that's main drag called like playa vista,
Speaker 2: I think, and would go and be like interested in
Speaker 2: like renting a room, and then would be like, well,
Speaker 2: what are you guys doing tonight? Maybe we should party?
Speaker 2: You see our future roommates.
Speaker 3: And high speed bro BoNT and.
Speaker 2: Everyone had parties. So we did that like five different places.
Speaker 1: Almost people murderers, get all.
Speaker 2: These people's numbers, and then at that night we would
Speaker 2: just like call each one and be like, what are
Speaker 2: you guys doing? And they're like, oh, I made it's
Speaker 2: at this party. These guys might rent a room. We
Speaker 2: had no We just wanted to go party.
Speaker 4: And why did you want to do that up in
Speaker 4: Santa Barbara as opposed to where you guys were in college.
Speaker 2: Because it was a fun thing. It was a fun
Speaker 2: thing to go do because we hadn't experienced Santa Barbara yet,
Speaker 2: so we were just like, let's go up uh, and
Speaker 2: then we would end up. We did this like three
Speaker 2: times and we ended up.
Speaker 1: Would you crash at their houses?
Speaker 2: We did twice and one time. This is what would
Speaker 2: kind of percolated his memory was once I tried to
Speaker 2: sleep in the car with Austin, Like we just pulled
Speaker 2: over on the side of the road and just started
Speaker 2: to sleep and he was snoring so loudly that I
Speaker 2: just slept in the yard next to the car the
Speaker 2: car and I remember like it's just people were like,
Speaker 2: I remember just a girl was jogging at like six
Speaker 2: thirty in the morning, I'm like Jesus Christ, you rock.
Speaker 4: You just roll over and start doing push ups, and
Speaker 4: you're like, you gotta get after it.
Speaker 1: I'm right, yeah, just immediately go back to sleep.
Speaker 3: Early bird gets.
Speaker 2: The word I do push ups in my own puke.
Speaker 1: There was a time when I was so drunk and
Speaker 1: I drove down to Orange County from Lave Goodbye, allegedly
Speaker 1: drove down to see Blake at his father's house. Uh,
Speaker 1: And I was so wasted, and I think I did
Speaker 1: some cocaine that night and then made phone calls. I
Speaker 1: remember making phone calls the whole way down and then
Speaker 1: finding a beach and then sleeping on the beach. And
Speaker 1: this is when.
Speaker 3: The listeners go, Yep, that's why he's the sober friend.
Speaker 1: Dude. I slept on the beach and woke up at
Speaker 1: eleven a m. And there was a volleyball game happening,
Speaker 1: like over me, that's amazing. You just woke up.
Speaker 3: You need a fourth man.
Speaker 1: Super sunburned dude. I was fully jean jacketed out too,
Speaker 1: Like I was full. I had jean jacket, sunglasses, pants,
Speaker 1: and just like I.
Speaker 2: Bet you had a really sick trucker hat during that
Speaker 2: time too. I remember, I remember that.
Speaker 3: I feel like there's a detail you're missing, Kle.
Speaker 1: What's the detail.
Speaker 3: Did you not have like a fake silver grill in
Speaker 3: your mouth like teeth?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Probably, dude, Probably.
Speaker 3: Feel like you might have woke up with some fake
Speaker 3: like a fake grill in your mouth.
Speaker 4: Do you think they thought you washed up from the shore,
Speaker 4: they thought you were a pirate?
Speaker 1: Oh my god, a pirate from another time. It's a
Speaker 1: shipwrecked man.
Speaker 2: That it's a dirty brown water pirate.
Speaker 1: Don't touch it.
Speaker 3: Pre Carl from Workaholics. So there's no explanation other than
Speaker 3: you were an insane Captain Jack Sparrow probably pre Captain Jack.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I feel like when we were younger, we were just
Speaker 2: more willing to sleep places that weren't pliable.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3: Well you don't run the numbers in your head of survival.
Speaker 3: You just go, yeah, I'm gonna go to bed right.
Speaker 1: Here, right betting that in the ozarks.
Speaker 4: I'm just gonna find a corner of wherever we're sleeping,
Speaker 4: and I'm just gonna do the hands in the armpits,
Speaker 4: just laying on the glor on the floor style.
Speaker 1: That's for you. That's it.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna just sleep in a little owl's house in
Speaker 3: a tree, folded up in a little ball.
Speaker 4: Oh, Adam doesn't like owls. Why don't you go podcast
Speaker 4: all night with your friends?
Speaker 1: You shut your bait, go talk for another four hours
Speaker 1: about come all right? Yeah, no, that's great.
Speaker 4: Why don't Why don't you put some cum on the table, Grant,
Speaker 4: I'll be over here putting food.
Speaker 1: Put more cum on the table. I have to deprogram
Speaker 1: my children after they listen to your podcast. No, no,
Speaker 1: they'll be proud. They'll be very proud.
Speaker 4: That's gonna live forever, right, Yeah.
Speaker 3: Kyle, when you were getting your hair brush, remember you
Speaker 3: came back and you're like, dude, my mom was like
Speaker 3: brushing my hair and it hurts so bad. I hit her.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I punched. That's I punched my mother. Mama. Yes,
Speaker 1: did I punched my mother? She was home and through
Speaker 1: my hair and it was just punched her or you
Speaker 1: like pushed her away. Oh no, I punched her.
Speaker 2: Well how old were you were you when you were
Speaker 2: assaulting your mother? Because you were a big kid, so
Speaker 2: you punching? You punching your mom?
Speaker 1: Probably big check hands. No, I was probably. I mean
Speaker 1: I was like eight or nine and We played slug
Speaker 1: bug all the time, so it was like punching was
Speaker 1: kind of like what we did, right, but in there
Speaker 1: you with your mom, Yeah, for sure is your mom
Speaker 1: the bug. My mom was was like, yeah, you can
Speaker 1: punch me in the shoulder, but like you have to
Speaker 1: be careful, like be be you know, don't try and hurt.
Speaker 1: But the one time I tried to hurt, I was
Speaker 1: dad hitting you. We're playing a game. It's called punch
Speaker 1: bugs slug Buggy slug bug.
Speaker 2: Did you ever go to school and they're like they
Speaker 2: have to talk with your mom because they're like covered
Speaker 2: in bruises? Did your mom slug you back?
Speaker 1: My mom did hit me back? Yeah? She also year
Speaker 1: old boy, Yes she was. Yes, it was it was
Speaker 1: like a mutual like kind of thing that we would do.
Speaker 1: She was like tough and I was like, you know
Speaker 1: ten or eleven or something like that. But when she
Speaker 1: was combing to mutual, when she was combing through my hair,
Speaker 1: I hit her way too hard. You like this, it
Speaker 1: was very wrong. Where did you hit her? Like the
Speaker 1: shoulder on the shoulder, but you know how you can
Speaker 1: hit like the rustle and then you can also hit
Speaker 1: the bone and like the bone kind of hurts a
Speaker 1: little more. I hit her on the bone and it's like,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, Mama, but I didn't know. I didn't really know.
Speaker 1: You know, it's a reaction. Sorry, MoMA, where's my mom?
Speaker 1: I got no mom in my headphone? Sorry, mam cat.
Speaker 1: That's intense.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: I love how she's like grooming you, getting lice out
Speaker 4: of your hair as like a favor A.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it wasn't like a. It wasn't like it was
Speaker 3: like out of nowhere, like she pulled your hair or something.
Speaker 3: This was like she was doing something very.
Speaker 1: Kind for it. Yes, and I took it, yes, to take.
Speaker 3: Care of you. And it just like a knee jerk
Speaker 3: reaction to be like, mom.
Speaker 1: Oh, are we playing the game.
Speaker 3: No.
Speaker 1: It's one of those things where it's like it's funny
Speaker 1: until it's not.
Speaker 3: No.
Speaker 2: I get that though. It's sometimes when you're in pain,
Speaker 2: it's like a it's science.
Speaker 4: It's like the dudes who jump out people at Halloween
Speaker 4: and then just get socked in the mouth.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's funny until your mom calls us and asks
Speaker 3: if we will take this pod down?
Speaker 4: Right?
Speaker 1: I mean, she had reconstructive surgery. She's fine. It's a game.
Speaker 2: She had to get a nose job.
Speaker 1: You got a new nose out of it.
Speaker 2: Which we're gonna have some hot merch coming down the pipeline.
Speaker 2: If I have my.
Speaker 7: Ways calendars, pornos, then of our buttholes, the photos of
Speaker 7: our dicks, photoshop together as one dick, Frank and Weenie.
Speaker 1: And stay tuned for when we come to your city
Speaker 1: and perform. It's your porno theater.
Speaker 3: Now, would you guys do this?
Speaker 2: Would you release a photo of your butthole? If we
Speaker 2: all took photos of our butthole and then they just
Speaker 2: took it was just we we split the butthole into
Speaker 2: fours and it's just you pissed.
Speaker 1: Honestly, I'm into anything where we're splitting our private parts
Speaker 1: and making one and then people have to guess which
Speaker 1: who is what. Yeah, Like, I think that's so cool.
Speaker 3: Too, That is Arthur.
Speaker 1: This is important.
Speaker 5: That it's important.
Speaker 1: I think I think.
Speaker 2: People would dig it.
Speaker 1: Man, this is important, Like the product will be so
Speaker 1: worth it. It'll be proud of it for my entire life.
Speaker 3: Like you know, wait, you'll see our dick.
Speaker 1: People are gonna lose and be like, yo, this is important.
Speaker 1: Has the best drops they did the butthole drop. Did
Speaker 1: you get it? It sold out?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 3: It was weird, dude.
Speaker 1: It's our dick. Blake said it right there. It's called dick.
Speaker 3: I will never ever ever show my dick to the public.
Speaker 3: I will show our dick.
Speaker 1: All the time, every day.
Speaker 2: Collective dick, our collective buttle.
Speaker 4: Should we switch it up though, so like somebody like
Speaker 4: it's it's my base, and then like Adams Space next time,
Speaker 4: Kyle's head like we there's like, however any different versions?
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, oh yeah, if you collect them all. If
Speaker 3: you collect them all.
Speaker 2: You got to collect them all.
Speaker 3: You can.
Speaker 1: I don't like that.
Speaker 3: You can kind of like backpage of Mad magazine. It
Speaker 3: together like folded, and you can, if you know how
Speaker 3: to fold right, you can figure out.
Speaker 4: What all of our dicks look like, or like a
Speaker 4: garbage pail kid puzzle where if you flip them all over,
Speaker 4: it's the butthole.
Speaker 2: That's a really good idea.
Speaker 4: If you clicked all sixteen or whatever of the dicks,
Speaker 4: you flip them all over and you get the butthole.
Speaker 1: Tops get at us. I don't want anything coming at us.
Speaker 2: Well wait, Carl, I thought you liked this idea.
Speaker 1: No, I don't want anything tracing back to reality.
Speaker 3: If you're out, we're all out.
Speaker 1: I like the idea of using one quarter. I don't
Speaker 1: like the idea of giving them a trail to see
Speaker 1: the real thing. Like what, No, it's not. It's a
Speaker 1: trail to see the quartered butthole. Oh yeah, which is
Speaker 1: also a magic eye of Kyle's dick. I mean magic eye.
Speaker 1: I could never do them. Those are tight.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, it's all four of our buttholes. And
Speaker 2: then the magic eye if you stare into it long enough, right,
Speaker 2: is your dick r dick?
Speaker 1: Yeah, but then you're gonna fully see my personal dick. No,
Speaker 1: you'll just see the magic guy. The magic guy outline.
Speaker 2: It's just a magic guy outline.
Speaker 1: Get over it. Yeah, okay, that's cool, as long as
Speaker 1: you're not seeing my own personal dick.
Speaker 2: How do you build a magic eye? Because that? Hey, also,
Speaker 2: I feel good merch bring magic guys back.
Speaker 1: So back to work.
Speaker 4: I worked yesterday with Mark Evan Jackson, who did a
Speaker 4: couple episodes of Workaholics.
Speaker 2: Funny guy, Yes, super funny dude.
Speaker 4: He's been on almost everything, and he was saying, like
Speaker 4: so often young men come up to him and say
Speaker 4: this thing's not gonna suck itself, which is a line
Speaker 4: that he said on our show. And this is like
Speaker 4: super it was like a super straight lace guy. So
Speaker 4: I was wondering if you guys can think of, even
Speaker 4: with snapchat memory, who we gave like the worst case
Speaker 4: scenario roll to where like people come up to them
Speaker 4: and are like quoting the worst fucking life ever.
Speaker 3: Probably just probably the girl who played just Anna and
Speaker 3: then talk about slapping their pussy tours.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, that's right, that's pretty good.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't I don't remember. There's so much of
Speaker 2: the show that I don't remember. Oh yeah, after season two,
Speaker 2: I do not remember three, four, five, six or seven
Speaker 2: at all.
Speaker 6: It's like Game of Thrones, Like I'll see photos and
Speaker 6: be like, oh yeah, kind of well, Like people will
Speaker 6: all the time say something to me that's way off
Speaker 6: the cuff, right, and I'm like, oh am I about
Speaker 6: to fight a man?
Speaker 2: Like they'll just say some ship that I'm just like
Speaker 2: what it's so, I couldn't even tell you. It's just
Speaker 2: way out of bounce and I'm just like I don't know,
Speaker 2: and they're like, that's you said that, that's you, And
Speaker 2: I'm like what, right, and then they have to like
Speaker 2: back explain and then they're disappointed, and I'm like, I'm sorry,
Speaker 2: we said a lot of shit in that show. There's
Speaker 2: a lot of stuff, and you never know what someone's
Speaker 2: gonna like. You know that they're gonna grab a hold
Speaker 2: of like the big catchphrases, the tight buttholes there ready
Speaker 2: for the let's go on, those kind of things, right,
Speaker 2: But like the deep cuts, it's because it's like when
Speaker 2: you watch a show with a group of friends, like
Speaker 2: one little thing might stick out to you, guys, and
Speaker 2: then you say that to each other all the time, right,
Speaker 2: it's science, and then you come to us and we
Speaker 2: don't know what you're talking about.
Speaker 3: A lot of times.
Speaker 2: Well, Blake just stayed here with me this past weekend,
Speaker 2: and he didn't undo the covers, didn't get under the covers.
Speaker 1: He's a monster.
Speaker 2: He slept on top of the covers. And it also
Speaker 2: doesn't even look like he used a pillow. Well, yeah,
Speaker 2: he didn't get under the covers, and it seemed like
Speaker 2: he went out of the way to not use pillows.
Speaker 4: But this is the same dude who in the hotels
Speaker 4: will not sleep on the bed. He'll just sleep on
Speaker 4: the floor with like the comforter.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, what the fuck is that weird? He'll sleep
Speaker 2: on the floor next to the best He's the weirdest guy.
Speaker 1: I know.
Speaker 2: The fact that he just invited a bunch of people
Speaker 2: over there at three am, then goes to bed, then
Speaker 2: doesn't go underneath the covers. Very nice. It's a very
Speaker 2: nice house. These guest rooms are are great. I could
Speaker 2: see if this is like a dorm room or something,
Speaker 2: and you're like, I don't know, there might be all
Speaker 2: kinds of weird shit underneath. HEAs like, these are linens,
Speaker 2: like you could have slept with linen.
Speaker 1: These are linens and things.
Speaker 3: Honestly, I think in my mind I don't do it
Speaker 3: because I get hot easily when I sleep, so I
Speaker 3: just sleep on top.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: We also first night explained to him how the thermostat
Speaker 2: upstairs worked. I was like, this is yours, so you
Speaker 2: can do it whatever. If you like it really cold,
Speaker 2: you could just put it really cold. And he's like,
Speaker 2: right on, did not touch the termistad slept on top
Speaker 2: of the coverers though in his clothes. For sure.
Speaker 3: I didn't feel down.
Speaker 1: It just didn't get comfortable, like, didn't even try to
Speaker 1: get comfortable. What's up with that?
Speaker 4: I can't do that. I run hot, I gotta get
Speaker 4: the clothes off.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean I was exhausted. I was done.
Speaker 2: Sure, Yeah we were going hard man.
Speaker 3: Yeah we went.
Speaker 1: Sleep better under the covers, man, it's real, like in
Speaker 1: a nice, cool room. I don't know why I was
Speaker 1: so sorry. I yes, it's because I sleep on the floor.
Speaker 2: I slept in my jeans on top of the bed.
Speaker 3: Dude, the more I think, like that weird drunk sleep
Speaker 3: where you're you're not awake, but you wake up like
Speaker 3: you didn't sleep at all.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's called alcohol poison and you're almost dead. You
Speaker 4: know that weird sleep necessarily but you can't move and
Speaker 4: the room is spinning.
Speaker 3: You know that sleep.
Speaker 1: Prealysis when the grim Reaper visits you.
Speaker 3: You know that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we know, we don't we know.
Speaker 3: Well, we had a lot of fun this weekend, That's
Speaker 3: all I'll say.
Speaker 2: Oh well, I will say that it took like so
Speaker 2: long to not be drunk for me that next day. Like,
Speaker 2: I understand why you had to stop drinking. Because you
Speaker 2: drink until five six am. You would have been drunk
Speaker 2: for part of that drive home, and you don't want
Speaker 2: to do that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, I was making the responsible choice by going
Speaker 3: to bed at three in the morning.
Speaker 4: Yes, would you eat for breakfast on before you left?
Speaker 4: How'd you get your mind right?
Speaker 2: He didn't. He didn't even grab coffee. We have coffee here.
Speaker 1: What did you do for five hours? You hit a
Speaker 1: gas station?
Speaker 2: I called him like like a half hour into his
Speaker 2: drive when I woke up. He's like, yeah, I left
Speaker 2: like a half hour, four five minutes ago something like that.
Speaker 2: And I'm like, oh, cool, you get it. You get
Speaker 2: anything to eat here? And he goes, no, I really
Speaker 2: could use a coffee or something, though, Like you didn't
Speaker 2: stop to get yourself something.
Speaker 1: He's like, no, even before you left the house and
Speaker 1: leaves no trays this time. You don't know where he's been,
Speaker 1: where he's going.
Speaker 3: It's not malicious, dude, I just don't think about it.
Speaker 2: You're a stupid dumb half.
Speaker 1: It's wild though, Like I forgot to eat last week. Yeah,
Speaker 1: there's a kitchen there, there's coffee pods right there. God,
Speaker 1: it'd be nice.
Speaker 3: Look, I had like half a can of Coke zero
Speaker 3: in the car from the day before.
Speaker 5: So.
Speaker 3: I kind of weaned off of that.
Speaker 2: So you're good to go. You're good to go.
Speaker 4: Wait, so when you went to the gas station because
Speaker 4: it's a five hour drive, you gotta go. Yeah, you
Speaker 4: ain't go inside and just get like a fucking joffe.
Speaker 1: Get a game. Stop game.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Blake, we've established you like to jerk off weird scenarios.
Speaker 1: Did you kick it in the car? Did you did
Speaker 1: you know the name? Did you do it?
Speaker 3: I'm reformed, man. That's not how That's not how I
Speaker 3: get down anymore. That was junior high.
Speaker 2: That's not how you are anymore.
Speaker 4: For those of you at home, my front upper four
Speaker 4: teeth are fake. Those are caps, and underneath them is
Speaker 4: crazy fangs.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's got a nice Joe Biden grill.
Speaker 3: It was a great purchase, made of toilet looked great.
Speaker 1: Oh is that right?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: They're porcelain. Wow, these are Toto This that's some high
Speaker 1: fancy right there, chompers American standards.
Speaker 2: I might have told the story, but we were at
Speaker 2: like not Scary Farm. Yeah, No, we were at Hunt
Speaker 2: for Universal and we're walking through one of those mazes.
Speaker 2: It was like really dark and there's just like it's
Speaker 2: kind of strobe lights, and she jumped out in front
Speaker 2: of me.
Speaker 3: And she and she was selling a choro. I just
Speaker 3: got pissed.
Speaker 2: Yeah, she was working at the popcorn stand. No, and
Speaker 2: she jumps out and I just socked.
Speaker 1: I just did.
Speaker 2: I did like a rabbit punch and it punched her
Speaker 2: in the face. And then I like went to consoleer
Speaker 2: after I realized, like, oh, I just hit a person
Speaker 2: because I was scared and I just punched him. And
Speaker 2: then I went like, I'm so sorry and went like
Speaker 2: this and then just cupped her titty.
Speaker 1: Yeah, where is this going? And then.
Speaker 2: I go, I go, I'm so sorry, and then just
Speaker 2: like went out to reach her to be like I'm
Speaker 2: so sorry. And I didn't know it was a girl,
Speaker 2: you know, she's run a costume.
Speaker 3: She was like.
Speaker 2: And then I feel this and then I'm like, god,
Speaker 2: I'm sorry. And Chlode's like, what the fuck?
Speaker 1: Adam, Yeah, he held her underwater by the vagina.
Speaker 3: So you you hit her and then he sexually assaulted.
Speaker 4: Yes, I did run Jesus Christ.
Speaker 2: Hey, this is important.
Speaker 3: This is all allegedly and to that these are scary,
Speaker 3: to that scary clown. Adam just he'll be apologizing at
Speaker 3: the end of the pot. I did not mean he
Speaker 3: didn't mean to elbow you in the face and then
Speaker 3: squeeze both your titties and I said it was.
Speaker 2: A little rabbit punch and uh, and then I just
Speaker 2: had to give a honkyn. It was an accident, you know,
Speaker 2: accidents happened. Do you remember when we went to the
Speaker 2: SNL after party and I almost got in a fight
Speaker 2: with Andy Samberg?
Speaker 3: Oh? Yeah, it was.
Speaker 4: It was a weird shouting match of two people not
Speaker 4: listening to each other.
Speaker 2: It was like music was super loud. Jillian was writing
Speaker 2: for sw that season. Remember it was the season we
Speaker 2: were writing Workaholics, and we aren't sure if Jillian was
Speaker 2: going to be able to do it because she's now
Speaker 2: a writer on SNL and we weren't sure if scheduling
Speaker 2: was going to work out.
Speaker 1: We went to go give her her flowers.
Speaker 2: Yes, and she invited us to come stay with her
Speaker 2: for the weekend and see go to like the SNL
Speaker 2: after parties with her and stuff, and we're like, oh,
Speaker 2: hell yeah. And so we go to SNL and we
Speaker 2: go to New York to visit Jillian and we go
Speaker 2: to the after party and Andy Sandberg's there and we're
Speaker 2: all fans and it was cool, and she introduces us
Speaker 2: and the music's loud and he's sitting across the table
Speaker 2: and Jillian goes, Andy, this is my friend Adam Adam.
Speaker 2: This is Andy. And I go, hey, I'm Adam and
Speaker 2: he goes, no, I'm Andy, it's Andy. And I go,
Speaker 2: I know, I know I'm Adham. He's like, it's Andy,
Speaker 2: it's Andy. And I'm like, I know, I know you're Andy.
Speaker 2: I'm Adam right, and he's like, I'm Andy. And it
Speaker 2: was like that went back and forth, and I was like.
Speaker 1: I know you're Andy, I know you're a.
Speaker 2: Jillian runs back in and like went to the bar
Speaker 2: and came back and we're like, he's standing up, We're yelling.
Speaker 2: I'm like, I know you're Andy, I'm a.
Speaker 1: I'm like, what is happening?
Speaker 2: And then and then we had the same agent at
Speaker 2: that time, and my agent called me that next week
Speaker 2: when we were back in the writer's room at Workaholics,
Speaker 2: and he was like, hey, uh, Andy called me and
Speaker 2: said that you guys almost got in a fistfight because
Speaker 2: he misheard you and thought you were calling him Adam.
Speaker 1: I didn't know it got back real yeah.
Speaker 2: And then uh, and then he was like yeah, he
Speaker 2: just wanted to. And actually we squashed it there and
Speaker 2: he was like, oh, I'm sorry. People call me at
Speaker 2: him all the time. It just bugs me. I thought
Speaker 2: you were doing it to like shit on me, and
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh.
Speaker 3: No, I thought you were quoting an old YouTube video.
Speaker 3: I got pissed bro over.
Speaker 1: Back at him over back.
Speaker 2: I jerked off in a TJ Max once.
Speaker 1: And this wasn't. I am shun where. I think we
Speaker 1: might be a little premature on that end.
Speaker 3: I guess, wait, did you because you remember like the
Speaker 3: most legit hiding spot when you were like in oh,
Speaker 3: in the apartment stores, was you'd go through the clothes
Speaker 3: into the middle.
Speaker 1: Oh, yeah, the best.
Speaker 2: Now it wasn't. I must have been like twelve thirteen
Speaker 2: something like that.
Speaker 1: I was at the register and yeah, it was at
Speaker 1: the register.
Speaker 2: I just locked eyes beautiful, like look like a wolf,
Speaker 2: this dude, And.
Speaker 1: No, I was.
Speaker 2: I was sitting in a chair. I'm like waiting for
Speaker 2: my mom to buy shit. Uh, And there's it's just
Speaker 2: TJ Max. There's just shit everywhere. There's not a lot
Speaker 2: of people around. I'm like wearing a big jacket and
Speaker 2: I'm like wearing a coat. You know, it's it's winter
Speaker 2: in Nebraska, and I just I just I just jerked off.
Speaker 1: It was I was bored.
Speaker 2: It was out of boredom, right, it was like a
Speaker 2: jerk off out of boredom. And uh. But then I
Speaker 2: noticed the security guard who was kind of looking at me,
Speaker 2: and it's kind of hard to jerk off and not
Speaker 2: like move move your art. So I think I think
Speaker 2: he probably was like, this motherfucker's jerking off in this
Speaker 2: TJ Max. Right, But then I couldn't stop because it
Speaker 2: was I was too far down the process. So I
Speaker 2: just kept going, even though I'm pretty sure I was
Speaker 2: already spotted.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like spotted, like you spotted your.
Speaker 4: Pants, like you were preeing you were was that the.
Speaker 2: Yeah, the pants were messed up. What I did is
Speaker 2: I went in the bathroom afterwards and threw them away.
Speaker 4: Oh I've done that, And you're like, mom, I want
Speaker 4: to buy these pants. I'm gonna wear them out of
Speaker 4: the TJ Max.
Speaker 1: You threw your pants away, You threw your onion.
Speaker 2: No, not the pants. The undies. Yeah, my Joe boxers,
Speaker 2: my Joe box Oh, Kyle, do tell about you?
Speaker 4: Oh lots of you were jacking off and then shot it. Well, yeah,
Speaker 4: I was jacking off. That was all clean.
Speaker 1: This was no dude, I've just thrown myndies away because
Speaker 1: I have shipped myself before, like a while on a
Speaker 1: shift at Brendan Theaters. Dude, me too.
Speaker 3: We both ship our pants at the same job.
Speaker 1: Do you guys think you ate something? I think we
Speaker 1: threw them out in the same place too, right like
Speaker 1: that next door spot? Fuck it, I love Did you
Speaker 1: throw them out that yummy? You guys ate a place?
Speaker 1: I love? Terioki?
Speaker 3: Yeah, cause bomb dude, they'd give discounts to everybody who
Speaker 3: worked at Brendan Theaters and it was very delicious, but
Speaker 3: it was rich.
Speaker 1: It was it was very rich.
Speaker 2: So you guys like it's happened to me. It must
Speaker 2: have been a few times, but just the one time
Speaker 2: that I really remember it was the stand up comedy
Speaker 2: night that I said in one of the very first
Speaker 2: podcasts and the whole turn right where yeah, the whole
Speaker 2: turt came out and I put it in the pot
Speaker 2: of plant wrapped in a napkin.
Speaker 5: Uh.
Speaker 2: But this, it sounds like it happens fairly frequently to you, Kyle. Uh,
Speaker 2: why do you think that is? Do you think it's
Speaker 2: all the veggies. Do you think maybe you.
Speaker 1: Need No, No, this is something that's been going on
Speaker 1: since I was the meat eater. I just have like leakage.
Speaker 2: Oh you got a seepage situation.
Speaker 1: It's a seep situation.
Speaker 4: Yeah, just like a loose Oh what are we thinking?
Speaker 4: Like your sphincter's loose.
Speaker 2: You blew your O ring.
Speaker 1: No. Sometimes I just pushed too hard to fart and
Speaker 1: then you know, some stuff comes out. You know, it's
Speaker 1: like that's what happens. It is a delicate dance.
Speaker 4: And sometimes you're like I got total control of Nope,
Speaker 4: I just ship my pants.
Speaker 1: I have a fart right now. If you guys would
Speaker 1: like to hear it? Would you like to hear it?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 3: Yes, yeah I don't.
Speaker 2: I don't, dude.
Speaker 1: Was that real stereo sound now in Doby.
Speaker 2: That didn't sound real at all?
Speaker 1: Was that real band? Smells real bad smells real?
Speaker 3: My?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah, no, So I have I have great farts,
Speaker 1: like fantastic farts, and I always want to hear them,
Speaker 1: and I always want to give my best but performance,
Speaker 1: and sometimes it's it's ship.
Speaker 3: If I may, you may.
Speaker 4: I just want to say, like, based on hearing the
Speaker 4: like slap, the snap, crackle and pop of your buttole
Speaker 4: it does not sound like it's very tight, like I
Speaker 4: feel like things would slip out of that.
Speaker 1: Correct, That's what I'm saying. There was like extra clappite.
Speaker 2: Just but just from the audio, you could tell that
Speaker 2: things could slide out.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean it just had a flatness to it,
Speaker 4: you know, kind of like a little too loose and slappy.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it pop, I got the film me it pops?
Speaker 1: Correct, yes, yes, correct, Yes, that's in a correct assessment.
Speaker 4: And then you gave it I thought it was all done,
Speaker 4: and then you gave it extra yeah, which tells me
Speaker 4: that's when you're really playing with fire.
Speaker 2: That's when seepage happens.
Speaker 1: Right. It's also when the funniest farts happened, when you
Speaker 1: think you're done and then you hit them again, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean. Of course, little pulsing action is
Speaker 1: good for the comedy.
Speaker 3: It's science.
Speaker 4: We're not saying it isn't right, right, Yeah, but yes,
Speaker 4: it comes with a raw deal where sometimes.
Speaker 1: You shit yourself. Yeah.
Speaker 4: Hey man, you play a fire, you get burned, you know,
Speaker 4: every once in a while.
Speaker 1: I agree, brother, Well you ever, you know when it
Speaker 1: started happening, when I was like obsessed with lighting my
Speaker 1: farts on fire? Torking? Are we talking about talking? Wait?
Speaker 3: Torture?
Speaker 2: Is that what you call it? Torquing?
Speaker 1: We called it torquing.
Speaker 3: Oh that's chorging and versus torking.
Speaker 2: It's not torching.
Speaker 1: We called it torquing.
Speaker 2: Why did you call it that?
Speaker 1: This is just lighting your farts on fire?
Speaker 2: What's the reason.
Speaker 4: I don't know, that's what. That's how I learned it
Speaker 4: at summer camp, and I used to fucking tork it up.
Speaker 2: You know what I think happened. I think they said torching.
Speaker 2: You said torquing. No one told you otherwise. Then you
Speaker 2: took that home from southern as a summer camp.
Speaker 1: From southern camp, Mama, they're out here talking how to
Speaker 1: be more southern?
Speaker 2: Uh? Do you think that? Because torking doesn't make any sense,
Speaker 2: torching makes perfect sense.
Speaker 4: I will say a couple of things. That's possible. So
Speaker 4: that's possible.
Speaker 1: Secondly, cool.
Speaker 4: Secondly, does it have to make sense? Half of this
Speaker 4: ship never makes sense?
Speaker 1: Just what's what's the org?
Speaker 2: Chorging makes a lot of sense.
Speaker 1: Sounds. What is it? It's an on a monopia.
Speaker 4: Let's leave it to the people out there, slide and
Speaker 4: dms let them know if torquing is a thing.
Speaker 2: I feel like we've covered a lot so far in
Speaker 2: this podcast. Guys, we covered is it over come? Did
Speaker 2: you just use the heart? Make you gotta let people know?
Speaker 1: I didn't even know?
Speaker 2: Yeah, Heed, Hey.
Speaker 1: Todd, if we could just ISO that on the mix,
Speaker 1: that'd be great, ye.
Speaker 2: And Todd, let's ISO that on the mix and then
Speaker 2: bring it back right now mm hmm, just so everyone
Speaker 2: can really.
Speaker 1: Sound like, No, it didn't. Let's and let's ISO it
Speaker 1: again to compare. Okay, see it didn't really sound.
Speaker 2: Like that, all right, See it did not sound.
Speaker 1: And now run that. Run that right by my audio
Speaker 1: clip as well, and put them back to back.
Speaker 3: And then now can you, yeah, can you play the
Speaker 3: one from the last episode, please, well that one.
Speaker 1: I wasn't doing an impression of that one, but.
Speaker 3: Now I want to just do a side by side.
Speaker 3: I just want to do a side by side if
Speaker 3: that's possible.
Speaker 1: All right, Okay, thank you Todd.
Speaker 6: So thank you Todd, Thank you Todd, thank you to
Speaker 6: thank god.
Speaker 1: That's pretty good. We did that one more time. Thank
Speaker 1: you Todd. You got it.
Speaker 3: You got it, baby, really good stuff.
Speaker 1: Guys.
Speaker 2: Guys, I'm in Texas right now, and uh as you
Speaker 2: could tell Houston. We're in Houston. We have a problem,
Speaker 2: and uh my dad is here. If you guys would
Speaker 2: like to say a quick hello.
Speaker 3: Hey, yeah, is this.
Speaker 1: Our first guest on the podcast?
Speaker 2: This is our first guest?
Speaker 3: Whoa first guest here?
Speaker 2: Well, I'll let them talk for just just a few
Speaker 2: minutes because I'm a whore for this hot pub and
Speaker 2: I gotta get I gotta get back to it. But
Speaker 2: he does want to know why you guys haven't reached
Speaker 2: out about his kidser diagnosis.
Speaker 4: Okay, here you go, Oh okay, okay, what do you
Speaker 4: want to hug and a kiss? Shee hey, buddy's right here.
Speaker 3: It's beaming Dennis d dude, legendary dad on the pod.
Speaker 3: First guest ever. I would like it no other way.
Speaker 3: How are you my?
Speaker 5: I'm good. I'm good, killing cancer one cell at a time.
Speaker 3: Yeah, hell yeah, dude.
Speaker 1: Hell yeah, fighting that good fight. Shit.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean we heard your still ripping bongs and
Speaker 3: all that, and we're in good spirits.
Speaker 5: Oh hell yeah, that's the kids. Didn't believe me when
Speaker 5: I talked to the doctors and the ozarks, and they said, yeah,
Speaker 5: blaze away and uh and then we come here and
Speaker 5: so the best doctors in the world say, shit, you
Speaker 5: got it, smoke it sabby, and there's there's still wanting
Speaker 5: another opinion.
Speaker 1: No, that's the only opinion that.
Speaker 5: Hell, yeah, that's right, that's right. They said, just don't
Speaker 5: make that your first question.
Speaker 3: Yeah, how's how's how's Houston treating you? Are they? Are
Speaker 3: they doing you right? And all that?
Speaker 5: Houston's good? But saw some baseball, saw little basketball.
Speaker 1: That's right.
Speaker 5: So yeah, everything's good.
Speaker 4: Right, So what's the deal you're doing chemo? Do you
Speaker 4: get to like have local grub or are you on
Speaker 4: a certain diet that they got you off for this?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 5: In fact, they told me to eat everything, so I did.
Speaker 5: I gained fifteen freaking pounds.
Speaker 1: Now we're talking really, I'm gonna be.
Speaker 5: The only fat cancer survivor.
Speaker 3: That's the secret. That's how you beat it, dude.
Speaker 5: Yeah, feed dead cancer, feed dead.
Speaker 3: Yeah, dude, gosh, we're fucking rooting for you.
Speaker 1: Brother.
Speaker 5: Well thanks, ma'am.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I really feel like it's an excuse for obesity
Speaker 2: for yeah dad to get his fat. I'm not even
Speaker 2: convinced he has cancer. Right, Like, he'll have like eight
Speaker 2: helpings of something and he's like the doctor said, and
Speaker 2: now he's got man, he's got some serious squeeze ability there.
Speaker 1: Welcome to the party. They feel good.
Speaker 4: Yeah, buddy, when you like go downstairs quickly and they shake.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I love that feeling.
Speaker 4: Yea. Is Adam getting you any voice over work with
Speaker 4: this new smoky tone, You've got.
Speaker 3: No, No, you sound cool as fuck.
Speaker 1: Talk to his agents.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm gonna have to you know what I mean?
Speaker 4: Can you give a commercial for Quizno's or something real quick.
Speaker 1: Dennis is the one who did the noise at the
Speaker 1: end of every Workaholics episode. That was his voice.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, that's right, this is the voice.
Speaker 4: Is it him or is it Adam doing an impression?
Speaker 3: No.
Speaker 1: We pulled Dennis back into the room and he did
Speaker 1: it into the microphone a couple of times. Yeah it
Speaker 1: was me, Dennis. Hell yeah it is.
Speaker 5: Well. Actually brought up a good point now that it's
Speaker 5: out there for all the lawyers. I still haven't got
Speaker 5: my check.
Speaker 3: Oh dang, yeah, we got you.
Speaker 5: My check is still missing.
Speaker 1: Talk to your son, yeah, Adam. Adam always said it
Speaker 1: was a family discount.
Speaker 3: Adam, what's going on here? Get your dad paid?
Speaker 5: For Sure? For Sure?
Speaker 1: Did I ever show you guys that I was in
Speaker 1: a kid rock music video? Wait?
Speaker 2: I knew this is just Jersey's way to bring up
Speaker 2: his kid rock music video.
Speaker 1: What do you mean?
Speaker 3: This whole pod has been just one big long con
Speaker 3: for you to talk about what.
Speaker 1: You've been moving, the conversation you've been moving the conversation
Speaker 1: kid video. I did it.
Speaker 4: It's gonna air next weeklations bud.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and while you tell us the story of this,
Speaker 3: I will be seeing it if it's on your IMDb,
Speaker 3: because if it's.
Speaker 1: Not, it's my homie.
Speaker 4: Brian got like cast as like a bare knuckle boxer.
Speaker 2: I remember this. I was so pumped on.
Speaker 4: He's like my other buddy dropped out and he was like,
Speaker 4: can you can you come do this?
Speaker 1: And I'm like what is it?
Speaker 4: And he's like we're just bare knuckle boxing shirts off
Speaker 4: in front of the like drummer from kid rock.
Speaker 1: And I was like sure, and.
Speaker 4: I think I got like two hundred fifty bucks or something.
Speaker 1: It was great, but.
Speaker 2: Then in the video, like you can't really tell. It's
Speaker 2: like always like kind of on your back and you're
Speaker 2: like blurry and shit, and I was salty. I wanted
Speaker 2: you to be the star of that fucking video. I
Speaker 2: was like, cause it ended up.
Speaker 1: Being kid Rock.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I know it sucked.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that sucked.
Speaker 5: All right. Well, I've ever to let you guys get
Speaker 5: back to podcasting because that shit's important.
Speaker 3: Yeah, man, thank you, Dennis. Yeah, super stoked to have
Speaker 3: you as the first and only guest on this is important.
Speaker 1: That's right, right, much love Dennis.
Speaker 2: And you guys were I mean, you guys were Baeria
Speaker 2: like that, the suburbs forty five minutes outside the Bay
Speaker 2: Area and beery minutes.
Speaker 1: Away from and Tom Hanks is not from forty thirty.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but so you guys would seg your pants down
Speaker 2: so fucking far. Correct, So your whole asshole is hanging out,
Speaker 2: and so there's just one tiny, little thin piece of
Speaker 2: fabric between an open flame and you're gaping gas leaking asshole.
Speaker 1: Yes, well we thought that was the safe way to
Speaker 1: do it, because Blake, didn't your dad have a horror
Speaker 1: story about like when he did it, Bear asked, and
Speaker 1: his asshole actually sucked the Yeah, you don't do it.
Speaker 1: You do it through your pants too.
Speaker 2: You could do it through your gene.
Speaker 1: His asshole actually sucked the I don't know if it
Speaker 1: was your dad who did this, but one of his friends.
Speaker 3: Well, this is what I was about to ask you guys.
Speaker 2: Well we know now that we know your dad listens to
Speaker 2: the podcast, So I'm pretty sure is your dad that
Speaker 2: this happened to?
Speaker 1: And what does he call it? Dad?
Speaker 3: It wasn't. No, That was what I was about to
Speaker 3: ask you, dudes. Was I was like, did you hear
Speaker 3: the urban legend where some kid kind of was trying
Speaker 3: to light his fart on fire and the flame sucked
Speaker 3: up into his asshole and burned his intestines and.
Speaker 1: He got I believe that right?
Speaker 3: You do?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: No, And I thought that was your dad? Thought that
Speaker 2: happened to.
Speaker 3: No, my dad's asshole is fully functioning to my knowledge.
Speaker 1: Goodbye. See. So I thought I was being safe by
Speaker 1: going through the pants, but I think I might have
Speaker 1: fucked up my ass and caused seapog. So this is
Speaker 1: the root you have like a charred hole?
Speaker 3: Wait, yeah, I think I climbing this car.
Speaker 1: That's right. I couldn't draw a correlation between lighting my
Speaker 1: farts on fire and.
Speaker 4: I can draw a picture of my buttthole for you,
Speaker 4: freehand from memory, and it's just.
Speaker 2: A black blob.
Speaker 1: Just squat over a mirror and give me a charcoal drawing.
Speaker 4: Ever clear, I could draw a picture of my buttle
Speaker 4: and like holding your nuts up and just kind of.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think it caused seepage. Be careful out there, kids,
Speaker 1: Just be.
Speaker 3: Careful, careful of torking or torching or whatever you call it,
Speaker 3: and do it.
Speaker 1: If you're gonna do it, do it through your underwear
Speaker 1: and your shorts or pants, or at least underwear. At
Speaker 1: least underwear.
Speaker 2: So I jerk off Injxes Blake is a notorious airplane
Speaker 2: jo pervert. Always Kyle's ships his pants more often than not.
Speaker 2: What's up?
Speaker 1: What's what's?
Speaker 2: What's your thing?
Speaker 1: When?
Speaker 2: Where did you jerk off? Or what happened with your poops?
Speaker 3: Or what's your deep dark secret?
Speaker 2: Get pissed on yourself all the time?
Speaker 1: Peace? You gotta drip drop peace? Do I do?
Speaker 4: Love this podcast. We've already talked about Ace Venture, how
Speaker 4: Jim Carrey was definitely like and as silly as this
Speaker 4: guy is, he fucks like a champ, like he really
Speaker 4: rails this woman while animals watch.
Speaker 1: It's a disgusting happen.
Speaker 4: He gets a blow job in the first ten minutes
Speaker 4: of the movie, and they're like, yeah, okay, I don't know,
Speaker 4: would he though he's kind of a buffoon.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know, but he can. He can fucking lay
Speaker 1: pipe though.
Speaker 2: But he for sure throws it down.
Speaker 4: Uh, it's funny, get it because he wouldn't be able to,
Speaker 4: So it's funny.
Speaker 3: Well, sure are friendly around here.
Speaker 1: Crazy, I know, there's weird jokes about it.
Speaker 3: He's just getting laid constantly. So cool.
Speaker 4: Yeah, Like it's that funny and I'm ten years old,
Speaker 4: just going, Yeah, this is how people behave.
Speaker 2: That's how it works, that's how I have to act.
Speaker 3: I gotta check the writing credits. I have a feeling
Speaker 3: he may have been in the writer's room.
Speaker 1: Daddle bags.
Speaker 2: Well that's uh, that's why I did ace Ventura Impressions
Speaker 2: for for five years in a row. After that movie came.
Speaker 1: Out, it really did infest.
Speaker 2: I was like, girls like guys that act like this,
Speaker 2: somebody stop me.
Speaker 1: Okay, will you go to the dance with me? Alrighty?
Speaker 1: Then is that a yes? Check?
Speaker 3: Your number's still nine to one one.
Speaker 2: A buddy of mine had to go to rehab because he's.
Speaker 1: Oh, yeah, this is great.
Speaker 2: The parents sent him to rehab because he wouldn't stop
Speaker 2: doing Ace Fincher Jim Carrey.
Speaker 1: Impressions, like that was the addiction he.
Speaker 2: That's all he talked like for two years straight. Yeah,
Speaker 2: that they sent him to rehab to like or count
Speaker 2: stop the cycle.
Speaker 3: That would be such a cool, strange addictions episode.
Speaker 2: Mm hmm, Yeah he was. He was addicted. It was
Speaker 2: my buddy, Kevin Hart. I'll shut him out, yeah wine mouth.
Speaker 4: Yeah, oh god, that's great. And I feel for him
Speaker 4: because it was. It just it worked its way into
Speaker 4: you on like an old school level or like Anchorman.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like it's science and if you're ten and you're
Speaker 1: just running around science quoting that movie like a glove
Speaker 1: Laca glave.
Speaker 3: Yeah. I really wanted to get the kind of pants
Speaker 3: he wore. He wore like those like red and black
Speaker 3: stripe pants. I'm like, I've got a dressed just like
Speaker 3: a Centuri because this dude is getting babes.
Speaker 1: I think I had Jerbo's that looked like that. Hestribed.
Speaker 2: Well, that's that was because it was pre Internet and
Speaker 2: pre like memes and gifts and and all that shit.
Speaker 2: So like that was the social currency of the time,
Speaker 2: like knowing the quotes and if you said it, if
Speaker 2: you said it, people are gonna laugh, Like you didn't
Speaker 2: need your own joke football. It's it's very much like
Speaker 2: how kids today will just rehash a meme and be
Speaker 2: like that's funny, right, and other kids laugh and they're like, I'm.
Speaker 1: Killing it, yes, Satan.
Speaker 3: Everybody's just acting like King Batch.
Speaker 2: Hey, do your kids like and subscribe? Do they say
Speaker 2: like and subscribe.
Speaker 4: Like walking around like after they say, oh, dude, that's funny,
Speaker 4: they just yeah.
Speaker 2: Like a buddy of mine always posts like with his
Speaker 2: little nieces and nephews, and they're always they always will
Speaker 2: like say a thing and at the end of it
Speaker 2: be like like and subscribe if it's on YouTube, and
Speaker 2: you're just like, oh, those kids are watching way too
Speaker 2: much YouTube.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that should be a sign that maybe they get
Speaker 3: off the iPad for just a little bit. I will
Speaker 3: say that the ship that kind of freaks me out,
Speaker 3: but I kind of do want to try it. Has
Speaker 3: you have you seen like the three D printer food?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Whoa, whoa talk to me baby? What is this?
Speaker 3: Yeah? Like I saw some steaks where it's like all
Speaker 3: like three D printed from like I don't I don't know,
Speaker 3: like organic materials or something. But it looks like steak.
Speaker 3: But it's completely synthetic. It's weird wild stuff.
Speaker 2: Oh wow, So is it like paper? It's edible. It's edible.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's edible.
Speaker 1: Did you say it's paper. No, it's it's made of
Speaker 1: organic tissue or whatever. It's paper. Wait, you printed it.
Speaker 1: It's paper. It's science.
Speaker 3: I mean it might be paper.
Speaker 1: This is like using the same technology where they this
Speaker 1: is like using the medical technology where they can rebuild
Speaker 1: organs and stuff like that, where they can.
Speaker 4: They grew the ear on that fucking mouse or whatever.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they can. With skin tissue, they can actually like make.
Speaker 3: My dick bigger.
Speaker 2: So you're telling me there's a chance.
Speaker 3: Frank and weed huge three D print me some new testicles.
Speaker 1: Here's my question. Would would you eat adam? Mostly for
Speaker 1: you because you're a steak guy. You eat steak nine
Speaker 1: days a week of science? Would you eat a cow
Speaker 1: that was cloned?
Speaker 3: Oh? Cloned? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Yes? Zero hesitation? I my no.
Speaker 2: My hesitation was why would I hesitate?
Speaker 1: Like?
Speaker 2: Why would I not? And uh? Then I thought about
Speaker 2: it for a brief moment and nothing popped up, and
Speaker 2: it's like, fucking scroll through your terminator brain. Yeah no,
Speaker 2: why why would I not? Why would I not?
Speaker 3: Why not?
Speaker 4: Because it's like cloned. It's like it's not it didn't
Speaker 4: come from my God.
Speaker 3: We trusts. Okay, we're gonna put whatever the scientists tell
Speaker 3: us in our body. Okay, there we go.
Speaker 1: When when you clone something, does that something start as
Speaker 1: a baby or does it just come out the exact opposite? Like,
Speaker 1: how does that work? Yes, Kyle, it has to grow up.
Speaker 1: It does.
Speaker 3: That's fucked up, seriously.
Speaker 4: So like people who got cash are having they'll have
Speaker 4: like a dog die and they'll pay like two hundred
Speaker 4: and fifty g's to have the same dog cloned and grown.
Speaker 1: So they just keep reading that is the sixth grade,
Speaker 1: that's the sixth Day. That's repet Yes, yeah, So would
Speaker 1: you eat that dog, Adam?
Speaker 2: When I eat a dog, I probably would.
Speaker 1: No, No, the cloned pet. Well, you have to consider
Speaker 1: that eating dogs is cool?
Speaker 3: Okay, I will say it is. It is in the
Speaker 3: movie Sixth Day. And for anybody who hasn't seen this
Speaker 3: Arnold movie underrated as fuck, check out the Sixth Day.
Speaker 1: Great film and what is his character's name in that movie? Uh?
Speaker 1: Ben gleib Lean.
Speaker 3: No comedian, a very deep cut comedian.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, Why did that come up? Because you're
Speaker 1: obsessed with them?
Speaker 2: Yeah, you love Benjamin Lee.
Speaker 1: No, somebody saying it in the chat.
Speaker 3: No, they're saying. Streisand revealed that two of her three
Speaker 3: cotton or dogs were clones, Barber strysand ship br.
Speaker 1: If Streisand's doing it. I'm down.
Speaker 3: He's in the Illuminati for sure.
Speaker 1: We should clone her. Oh yeah, what if her dogs
Speaker 1: clone her? How she feel?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm fine with Well, isn't it? Uh if we
Speaker 2: are able to clone these animals and then eat them,
Speaker 2: would we not be able to? Uh? Would that cut
Speaker 2: down on like the all the.
Speaker 4: No, because it's the same animals, it's the same amount
Speaker 4: of animals.
Speaker 2: But could you maybe clone them so they didn't fart
Speaker 2: all the time? Because that's the issue, right, Isn't that
Speaker 2: The whole.
Speaker 1: Thing with global warming is all farts the ozone.
Speaker 4: But the methane's got to go out out of somewhere,
Speaker 4: like that's that's that's gas. Gas you don't want in
Speaker 4: your body. That's why it gets expelled, Like you don't
Speaker 4: that's why you dookie, because if the dookie stays in, right,
Speaker 4: that's that's bad stuff you become.
Speaker 3: You don't think in in years we won't develop science
Speaker 3: that will make it so we don't have to fart side.
Speaker 3: You can like somehow expel that gas. Another way.
Speaker 1: You probably to get a little second buttthole put in
Speaker 1: wherever you want it, like an open second butthole that
Speaker 1: just can Like some of those whistles from when you
Speaker 1: were a kid that go.
Speaker 4: A kazoo, They had like a pinwheel, a pinwheel in
Speaker 4: them and they would go.
Speaker 2: Whoo, sounds pretty kazoo.
Speaker 3: It's like a kazoo.
Speaker 1: It's a pinwheel whistle. It's not a kazoo.
Speaker 4: Right, hey, guys, slide in these guys DM send the
Speaker 4: pictures of the whistle with the little pinwheel on the
Speaker 4: inside that.
Speaker 3: Go preferably while it's hanging out of your butt.
Speaker 4: Bury it in the news. Yeah, I don't want that
Speaker 4: to happen. Look, that's where the buck stops to me.
Speaker 1: I fart. Okay, you're not going to take it away
Speaker 1: from me. You're not going to change it. Well, that's
Speaker 1: what I would The only way I would change it
Speaker 1: is if I could have multiple buttholes, Like if I
Speaker 1: could reroute.
Speaker 2: Well, I would like to not fart. If there was
Speaker 2: a pillar or something where I never farted again.
Speaker 1: I would do that. What the fuck?
Speaker 2: You guys love farting and I hardly ever do.
Speaker 1: That's insane.
Speaker 4: That's one of your greatest defense mechanisms, Adam. Don't you
Speaker 4: realize if you're being attached by an animal, the first
Speaker 4: line of defense is you fart on them yourself.
Speaker 2: Now, what you're supposed to do is and Blake, I'm
Speaker 2: quoting Blake. You're supposed to You're supposed to reach down
Speaker 2: their throat.
Speaker 3: That's a wildcat.
Speaker 2: You're supposed to put your arm down their throat and
Speaker 2: then rip their intines out of their butthole.
Speaker 3: That's a wildcat, specifically a wildcat. Well, and then, but
Speaker 3: then if that doesn't work, you have to fart in
Speaker 3: their face, right across their uvula.
Speaker 2: Well, that's the opposite, because dogs wouldn't dogs. When you
Speaker 2: fart around a dog, he will dive snout first into
Speaker 2: your asshole. Dogs they love it.
Speaker 1: Right, Yeah, dogs rock snout first. Dogs rock.
Speaker 3: That's a companion animal.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, beautiful man. Now as a comedian, though, I
Speaker 1: don't even know. The comedian's perspective of ditching farts is
Speaker 1: absolutely absurd to me, Like, how much have you laughed
Speaker 1: in your life over farts? And you're just saying, without
Speaker 1: a blink of an eye that, yeah, I don't want
Speaker 1: it no more, Adam.
Speaker 4: To be honest, I've never laughed at you if it
Speaker 4: wasn't a fart. So you're willing to give that up? Yeah,
Speaker 4: it's always part related, so you could. You're trying to
Speaker 4: pull the rug out of your whole career and your
Speaker 4: friend shit.
Speaker 1: I guess.
Speaker 2: I guess I thought you guys like my personalities, so
Speaker 2: but it is ours. Our relationship is fart based.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, you're just realizing that, Yeah, your entire
Speaker 3: sense of humor is hinged on your farting.
Speaker 2: I guess I did know that, and that would be
Speaker 2: my first uh. I would like to start the takebacks
Speaker 2: and apologies. I'd like to take back saying that I'd
Speaker 2: give up farting because I didn't realize that I had
Speaker 2: so much weight on our relationship and our friendship. And
Speaker 2: if it means that much to you guys, I'm gonna
Speaker 2: stay farting guys.
Speaker 1: Thank you.
Speaker 3: I wish.
Speaker 2: I wish I could queue up a wet one right now,
Speaker 2: but I don't have one.
Speaker 1: Kyle's the only one who's started on the podcast, right, I.
Speaker 3: Believe, So I did.
Speaker 1: I did do that.
Speaker 2: That was real nice. That was a juicy one.
Speaker 1: You got one right now, you got one in the chamber.
Speaker 1: I'm sitting with a pee, pretty heavy with a pee,
Speaker 1: so I don't know that I'll be able to pull
Speaker 1: it off. Yeah, you can't pinch, and I'm just trying
Speaker 1: right now. I'm doing a wiggle and I don't think.
Speaker 1: I think the liquid's coming first. So I'm not going
Speaker 1: to do that to you guys. I get that, And
Speaker 1: I apologize for not peeing on the microphone. That makes sense,
Speaker 1: That's my bad.
Speaker 4: So yeah, after drinking beers for like forty eight hours,
Speaker 4: you know you're an awesome you're pounding some loan stars.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah, So getting rid of for the day because we
Speaker 4: kind of get like this is important to so we
Speaker 4: get carted around, right, we get carved around all this stuff.
Speaker 4: It's kind of like an agendas, like, hey, shower mate
Speaker 4: us down here. It's like all right, I'm in the shower,
Speaker 4: like Kyle, I'm like all right, I got fart, I'm
Speaker 4: just gonna rip it, and then I just ship into
Speaker 4: the shower and I.
Speaker 1: Was like, seeps, just kind of okay.
Speaker 2: I think this is why I don't shun't. I'm never
Speaker 2: forcing farts out. Farts sometimes leak out of me. I
Speaker 2: think that's the issue.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I didn't. I didn't want to. That's well,
Speaker 1: that's leaking anyway. No, but diarrhea in the shower is
Speaker 1: like diarrhea, diarrhea.
Speaker 3: This one was a little like kind of like underground
Speaker 3: and like seemed like, you know, it's kind of like
Speaker 3: this was the first time the dude had hosted it,
Speaker 3: but he'd been doing it for like ten years. But
Speaker 3: I could see where it could get very big. I
Speaker 3: mean it was big. It was grand for how small
Speaker 3: it was, but I could see where it could go
Speaker 3: off like Vegas style. I bet those drag shows are
Speaker 3: insane and everybody is having so much fun.
Speaker 2: This is what I'm getting from you talking about this.
Speaker 2: You want to do drag When we do the live show,
Speaker 2: we do this is important. The guys do drag and
Speaker 2: we all come out dressed as women and put on
Speaker 2: a fun show.
Speaker 3: Yes, well, this was the thing I'm like, I go
Speaker 3: in there, right'. I go down the stairs, and while
Speaker 3: I'm walking down the stairs for you know, four guys
Speaker 3: asked me like, hey, will you take our picture in
Speaker 3: the stairwell and I'm like yeah, for sure, for sure,
Speaker 3: of course I take the picture. I'm handing the phone
Speaker 3: back and the guy's like, wait, are you blake from Workaholics.
Speaker 3: I'm like yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah i am. I'm actually here.
Speaker 3: I'm filming something here in Atlanta. And he's like, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: I could tell because you have makeup on your face.
Speaker 3: And I'm like, no, no, I don't have any makeup on.
Speaker 3: He's like, oh, yeah, you do have makeup.
Speaker 2: Covered in makeup and glitter and you're wearing lipstick though.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And I'm like, no, I'm not wearing any makeup.
Speaker 3: We actually haven't started filming yet. And he's like, oh, okay,
Speaker 3: so you're here alone. I'm like no, my cast is
Speaker 3: right over there. He's like, hey, don't worry about it, dude,
Speaker 3: I'll keep it on the DL. I'm like, you don't
Speaker 3: have to keep it on the DL.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: I feel like this is his running bit with everybody
Speaker 4: he runs into. He he assumes our nose from the
Speaker 4: Internet is straight, and it's just.
Speaker 1: Like, Okay, you're gay. I got your secret right here.
Speaker 3: Good. It was so weird, So I go over to
Speaker 3: the other cast members awoke. I'm like, this dude just
Speaker 3: told me that I'm wearing makeup? What's going on? And
Speaker 3: they're like, dude, you look fucking insane. The whole place
Speaker 3: is like lit with black lights.
Speaker 2: M h.
Speaker 3: And I guess the moisturizer I use has SPF in it, right,
Speaker 3: and it was picking up with the black light, so
Speaker 3: my face looked like it was glowing, like I was
Speaker 3: wearing glowing white face, or like I was like one
Speaker 3: of the Neon gang members from Batman Forever, if you
Speaker 3: get that reference. It was like, I look, I got
Speaker 3: you insane.
Speaker 4: I looked absolutely like a background actor from Belly exactly.
Speaker 2: I thought you're saying, like like one of these guys
Speaker 2: got a little too close and like you rubbed your
Speaker 2: face against his butt cheek or something, and you got
Speaker 2: some butt cheek makeup on your face or something. That's
Speaker 2: where I thought it was going.
Speaker 4: Those are my favorite pictures. We're like at a club,
Speaker 4: like a black dude will have been dancing with a
Speaker 4: white girl. With like crazy makeup on her face and
Speaker 4: when he comes away, it's like on his neck.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, he's like, oops, dude. But Lamarne took a
Speaker 3: video of me. You guys have to see it because
Speaker 3: I looked so crazy. I was so lucky that it
Speaker 3: wasn't just like a club club and it was like
Speaker 3: drag night because people go all out and like they
Speaker 3: show up in wild as shit, like they'll just have
Speaker 3: fucking just some leathers.
Speaker 2: So people just thought like, oh, look at look at him.
Speaker 2: He just decided to put on some some fun white
Speaker 2: face and that's not racist because he is why you
Speaker 2: can't do that.
Speaker 1: Right, didn't do anything else, but did that?
Speaker 2: Didn't weird that he did that and he wore that
Speaker 2: fun wig.
Speaker 3: They're like, he's here on the d L. He's here
Speaker 3: on the d L, but he came completely like makeup,
Speaker 3: did himself out. I wonder if he's getting on stage.
Speaker 4: I think it's a nice little shout out though, for
Speaker 4: everyone out there who uses moisturizer, like Blake does that,
Speaker 4: uh clear from from black lights because uh apparently you'll glow.
Speaker 4: So then we go to this converse like giveaway thing
Speaker 4: and it's set.
Speaker 1: Up in like a house or something. Right, do you
Speaker 1: guys remember this?
Speaker 4: They had like an American flagmate out of white and
Speaker 4: blue shoes.
Speaker 3: And there's two very cute installments.
Speaker 1: There's two bathrooms.
Speaker 4: One has a line, and I'm like, I'm gonna shit
Speaker 4: my pants.
Speaker 1: Uh.
Speaker 4: The other one has no line, right, So I go
Speaker 4: in that moment that's just got a toilet, and I'm like, well,
Speaker 4: I'll go, I'll take a piss because we were just
Speaker 4: slamming beers. So I piss and I'm like while I'm pissing,
Speaker 4: i just shit my underwear, right, And so it's just
Speaker 4: a toilet. There's not even a sink in there. There's
Speaker 4: not even a garbage can, right, And I'm like.
Speaker 2: I'm laughing extra hard because i know, out of the
Speaker 2: four of us, Durs would be the funniest to have
Speaker 2: this situation happen to.
Speaker 4: Full And it's like it's like ninety five degrees and
Speaker 4: I'm like, okay, So I get my underwear off and
Speaker 4: I just bunch them up in my hand and then
Speaker 4: I go and I like staying to Isaac, I go, yeah,
Speaker 4: I toss with my manager.
Speaker 1: I say, manage this, and then or maybe I'd kept
Speaker 1: them on. Fuck. I don't know, but I go and
Speaker 1: stand in the other line.
Speaker 4: For the other bathroom because I see that it's got
Speaker 4: like full everything in there. And then I get in there,
Speaker 4: get the underwear off, bury it under like all the
Speaker 4: paper towels that are there, wash my hands, and get
Speaker 4: the fuck out of there. And then I was just
Speaker 4: free bawling it for the rest of the day, fully chafing.
Speaker 4: You know, no thigh gap here, So it.
Speaker 3: Sounds like you handled it like, sounds like you mcguiberd
Speaker 3: your diarrhea well done.
Speaker 2: I mean, we're all definitely dumb in our own ways.
Speaker 2: I wouldn't say we're dumb people like in general in
Speaker 2: the grand scheme of life, I wouldn't say any of
Speaker 2: us are actually dumb people. But we're definitely dumb in
Speaker 2: our own specific certain ways.
Speaker 4: Yeah, do you think we're smart with our powers combined
Speaker 4: before us? Okay, do you think we're smarter like our
Speaker 4: our smart powers combined are smarter than our dumb powers
Speaker 4: combined are dumb?
Speaker 1: Like?
Speaker 4: Are we collectively stupider than we are smart?
Speaker 3: Yes?
Speaker 1: Is that? Or do you guys even understand what I'm saying?
Speaker 1: I do, I don't get it.
Speaker 2: No, I think, uh, goodbye. I think the reason that
Speaker 2: we work together as a group so well is that
Speaker 2: we're all uh the deficiencies. What we're good at outweighs
Speaker 2: our deficiencies, and you're you're smart at the thing I'm
Speaker 2: dumb at, and I'm smart at the thing that you
Speaker 2: guys are dumb at, and vice versa.
Speaker 1: Well said like, I'll be like, guys, what time is it?
Speaker 1: You'll tell me.
Speaker 2: And yeah, well we're able to it. Will say, uh, yeah,
Speaker 2: we're able to tell time. That's that's the only leg
Speaker 2: up I have on Earth.
Speaker 3: The four of us combined, we can tell you the time,
Speaker 3: the month, and the day of the week. But it
Speaker 3: takes a lot of work.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 3: No, I would say, I think the magic of us
Speaker 3: is how collectively stupid we are. That's why I love us. Guys,
Speaker 3: come on,