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Speaker 1: Flying down with Jane Kramer Mia and I'm her radio podcast.

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Speaker 1: Happy New Year, Whoop, whoop? Who trying not to let

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Speaker 1: you float alone? Come on, girl, I'm so excited about

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Speaker 1: this episode. It's a new year, new US, new moms

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Speaker 1: um and I wanted to bring on some of my

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Speaker 1: favorite moms um in this episode because I mean, mom's

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Speaker 1: just rule life, you know. So I got my girl

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Speaker 1: Catherine Woodard Witten Studio hosting today, What's Up, Sean Johnson,

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Speaker 1: be Sewn Johnson, What's up? Gold medalist Shawn Johnson and

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Speaker 1: my girl Christen Breast. I really wish I didn't follow

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Speaker 1: gold medal and I was like, should have changed the

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Speaker 1: order there, But that's fine. Uh not a gold medalist,

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Speaker 1: Christen Breast? How do your gold medal? Mom? There you go? Oh?

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Speaker 1: You know seven. I'm not sure how true it is.

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Speaker 1: You feel uncomfortable when people say gold medalist? Yeah? Why

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Speaker 1: you worked so hard for it? You shouldn't really break

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Speaker 1: out in a sweat. Why it feels like a lot

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Speaker 1: of pressure to live up to? What do you mean

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Speaker 1: you lived to it? Like? When I was speaking of pressure,

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Speaker 1: what about that gold medal? I mean, I don't know

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Speaker 1: where do you keep it because when I went over

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Speaker 1: to your house, I was like secretly searching for it

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Speaker 1: to try it on. It was like your great is this? Um?

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Speaker 1: I keep it in a safe actually, and it's safe

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Speaker 1: so you can't see it. I mean I don't really

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Speaker 1: need to see it. Late ninety vacuum with it on,

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Speaker 1: or there many times where you're like yeah around the

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Speaker 1: house naked brown chicken. No, So like it's safe in

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Speaker 1: your house. I'm gonna find it. How about you come

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Speaker 1: over and I'll get it on for you. I've never

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Speaker 1: held a gold medal. I'll bring it over. Imagine that,

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Speaker 1: like you earned that. I mean, you've worked so hard

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Speaker 1: for that. I just can't for our country, Seawan Johnson,

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Speaker 1: I'd love America wedding. I'm getting really hot. You're basically

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Speaker 1: an American five layers on right now. I know I

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Speaker 1: have a lot of clothes on. What would you want

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Speaker 1: to try to win an Olympic medal for Krista zero

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Speaker 1: talent so I don't know, I don't qualify for anything,

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Speaker 1: but like I ran across country because I'm not coordinated,

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Speaker 1: so I was like I could and I definitely knew

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Speaker 1: I wouldn't be first, so I wasn't like I had

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Speaker 1: to like figure out where the track was or the

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Speaker 1: trail was. I just was like, cool, I'll definitely just

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Speaker 1: follow this group of girls and jog it out for

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Speaker 1: a while. But like, okay, let's let's do this since

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Speaker 1: we're all moms. It's the mom Olympics. What would you

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Speaker 1: win the gold medal in pack and play up and down? Katherine,

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Speaker 1: don't give me that glare. She's like, that's hard. I

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Speaker 1: am the packing play up and down champion. Didn't really

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Speaker 1: I've actually said there should be mom Olympics, and I

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Speaker 1: was like, I would dominate it. I don't know how

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Speaker 1: to put a pack and play because there's something the

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Speaker 1: thing that you pull always confuses me. So that's where

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Speaker 1: I message, But I still forget it every time. That's well,

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Speaker 1: I just really traualed with those babies so many times

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Speaker 1: that it was like there was times where you just

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Speaker 1: had to what would you fail at in the Olympics?

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Speaker 1: Everything else? I think any of us would be gold

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Speaker 1: medalists or a solid bronze at one handed life? Oh yeah,

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Speaker 1: for sure, hold the baby do everything with one hand.

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Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, I feel like I don't know. I feel

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Speaker 1: like all of our husbands that are really like they're well,

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Speaker 1: I mean yours is on the road a lot. That's

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Speaker 1: the only thing. It was like, are helpful? No, I

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Speaker 1: just your husband Kristen is married to Um Preston from

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Speaker 1: Low Cash and he's on the road a lot. So

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Speaker 1: I apologize for that comment. No, I didn't know where

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Speaker 1: you're going with that. And we said all of our husbands,

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Speaker 1: I'm like, no, they're just they're they're they're good. They're

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Speaker 1: great dads, that's the thing they are. Preston's actually, he

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Speaker 1: really is an awesome dad. He's just not home a lot,

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Speaker 1: but he's did That's where Yeah, that's where you go

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Speaker 1: with that, And I get that, and I'm sorry, but

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Speaker 1: I love you. It's amazing. He's an amazing dad. Yeah. Okay,

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Speaker 1: so okay, what would you get your I know, i'd

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Speaker 1: like your fifth metal from six, six or seventh. Um,

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Speaker 1: I wish that would be great. I don't have that many. Okay,

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Speaker 1: what would you win the Olympics? I'm still figuring it out. Um,

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Speaker 1: you're like I figured out the like the wrap thing,

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Speaker 1: which no, the like to wear a baby? I don't know.

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Speaker 1: YouTube there was like an action Well, I mean it's

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Speaker 1: kind of over now jayss like everyone's in her house,

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Speaker 1: So that doesn't mean who's wearing too. I'm not lying.

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Speaker 1: I went to a movie the other day in which

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Speaker 1: a woman, um, you don't remember I think, I said maybe,

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Speaker 1: but it was actually some sort of event. I don't

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Speaker 1: remember where. I just let her tell that baby just

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Speaker 1: came out. That baby just came out, and none of

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Speaker 1: us knew where we were. But I saw a woman

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Speaker 1: wearing a child and the front carry the little kid

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Speaker 1: had to have been seven years old. Stop like it was.

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Speaker 1: This boy was tiptoeing. The kid was wearing jeans, like

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Speaker 1: real jeans, not baby jeans, and I she was as

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Speaker 1: tall as the mom. It was disturbing. It wasn't one

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Speaker 1: of the raps or was it one of the because

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Speaker 1: I can get the what are those things called? The

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Speaker 1: yea are easy because it's a click on the top

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Speaker 1: of click on the back. I mean, this kid had

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Speaker 1: been fafty found, so it wasn't. It was a heavy

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Speaker 1: duty one. But that's crazy on the front, wearing on

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Speaker 1: the front. It was too much. I actually got one

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Speaker 1: of those. Foe looked like I did the organic rap.

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Speaker 1: You know how you're doing the all one piece rap. Right.

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Speaker 1: See that's what's so because it was so like it

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Speaker 1: just looks so cool and back She's just like she

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Speaker 1: wears it so few, it's so heavy and like a door.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, I tried so hard and it just I

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Speaker 1: mean because like the ergo babies are too long, like

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Speaker 1: my ways to my face. So when he carries you exactly, yeah, okay, okay,

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Speaker 1: And then what would you I mean, you're still learning? What? What? What?

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Speaker 1: No sounds failing? What are we what are you struggling with?

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Speaker 1: I would actually the only person that can feed our

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Speaker 1: child for some reason is my husband. Well, I mean

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Speaker 1: that sounds weird because but go ahead and clarify, I'm

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Speaker 1: following stress feeding our child. Um no, um, she just

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Speaker 1: for some reason gets really fussy when I feed her

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Speaker 1: with a bottle. And because she wants your addition, she

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Speaker 1: can smell the boob because you're pumping, so she can

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Speaker 1: smell that you have the note, So she only wants

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Speaker 1: your boob. That makes sense, But the man can say

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Speaker 1: saying that from a formal mom, But that's what I've heard.

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Speaker 1: She's getting breast milk in a bottle, but she wants

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Speaker 1: it from you everywhere trillion nipples and I'm leaking all

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Speaker 1: over her as I'm feeding her with a bottle, and

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Speaker 1: it's a hot mess. Gold medal, Gold medal. I was

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Speaker 1: really good at putting babies on a schedule. It was

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Speaker 1: really really good at that. It would be maybe a bronze,

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Speaker 1: but I'm talking gold baby. Let's go for the Sean

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Speaker 1: John that. It was really good at formula. It was

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Speaker 1: really good to give it my baby's formula. Not breastfeeding.

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Speaker 1: I love that that You're just I loved it, and

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Speaker 1: I think because of you, I didn't feel bad in

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Speaker 1: the fitting that I can help you. He did. I

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Speaker 1: did for a while, but I had a lot of

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Speaker 1: guilt around that sadness. Actually, I hate that for I tried.

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Speaker 1: I hate that for people. I just want them to

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Speaker 1: just let it go. So guilt you for it. I

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Speaker 1: know it's ridiculous. I tried breastfeeding and I couldn't. And

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Speaker 1: to me, well, here's the thing, like when you say

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Speaker 1: you couldn't, because I remember saying I couldn't either, and

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Speaker 1: they're like, there's these people, these they can come over

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Speaker 1: and help you, and it's just like no, I had her,

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Speaker 1: I had everything. I did it all and I just

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Speaker 1: I couldn't pretty. Some people just don't want to or

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Speaker 1: can't just revolve around that all the time. Some people

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Speaker 1: got to go to work and can't pump every There's

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Speaker 1: so many reasons, so the thought, why do you care?

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Speaker 1: Like I remember when Jason was I want to get

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Speaker 1: back to your metals. But it's a really good topic.

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Speaker 1: I remember when jas Because I didn't, I tried breastfeeding

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Speaker 1: with Jolia, and honestly, I'm gonna be really honest, here's

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Speaker 1: my mom truth. I didn't want a breastfeed. I had

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Speaker 1: no desire. I didn't I wasn't breastfeed, you know. I

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Speaker 1: I just for some reason, I didn't feel like I

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Speaker 1: had to have that connection with the baby. I'm personally

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Speaker 1: I like my nipples being touched. I don't like it.

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Speaker 1: I don't want someone sucking on him. I just sorry.

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Speaker 1: There's a guy here and he's like, cong sorry tim

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Speaker 1: um No. But I just I personally didn't want to,

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Speaker 1: but it was really important to Mike, So I said, okay,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna try. And you know, my milk didn't come in,

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Speaker 1: and then they wanted me to supplement, and then they

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Speaker 1: wanted me to pump, and it was so stressful, and

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Speaker 1: I was just like crying and I was like, oh

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Speaker 1: my gosh, my baby lost even more weight than she

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Speaker 1: should have. And then my milk eventually came in, but

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Speaker 1: we already made decision to formula feed, and I just

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Speaker 1: remember getting just like so much shame and so much hate. Luckily,

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Speaker 1: Catherine was just like, oh no, She's like when I

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Speaker 1: have Ramsay, I'm walking in with my formula into the hospital.

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Speaker 1: And so that's what I did with Jason, and I'll

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Speaker 1: never forget he got sick. He got rs V when

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Speaker 1: he was just like a couple of weeks old, and

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Speaker 1: everyone was just like, breast his best, this is how

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Speaker 1: he's not gonna get sick. And I'm like, oh my god,

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Speaker 1: they're right, Like I'm if my kid ends up getting worse,

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Speaker 1: it's because of me because I didn't breast feed. And

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Speaker 1: so I had two of my girlfriends come over and

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Speaker 1: they're trying to because my boobs still had the milk

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Speaker 1: in them and that they were just so engorged and

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Speaker 1: just gross. So they had the pump on me and

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Speaker 1: I literally have my friend Ashley and Julie massaging my

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Speaker 1: breast to try to get milk out. And I'm just bawling.

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Speaker 1: And then we're trying to like get Ja's to like

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Speaker 1: connect to my nipple, and you know, I don't know

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Speaker 1: how to do it because I never breastfeed, so I

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Speaker 1: was like, I didn't know how to latch it and

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Speaker 1: how to do all these things. And I'm just like

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Speaker 1: bawling and they're trying to help me, and Mike walks

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Speaker 1: in the room is like, why are you doing this

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Speaker 1: to yourself? And I was like, because I have to,

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Speaker 1: because everyone says that he's gonna get worse if I

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Speaker 1: don't breastfeed. And he's like, you called the nurse and

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Speaker 1: they said it doesn't matter. They're going to be healthy

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Speaker 1: one way or the other, whether you give them formula

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Speaker 1: or or the breast milk. It's it's just like but

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Speaker 1: then this other person says, no, they're not because breast

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Speaker 1: It is just I just can't listen to its talking,

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Speaker 1: like honestly, so many opinions, and it's like in my life,

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Speaker 1: like I had a husband who did two shows the

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Speaker 1: year our daughter was born, Like I didn't. I needed

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Speaker 1: everyone fed and just doing the best they could. I

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Speaker 1: didn't and need the extra pressure of and I tried

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Speaker 1: for seven weeks to feed her, and I could not

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Speaker 1: do it. I mean, I had the milk Ninja. They

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Speaker 1: call her in Nashville and air quotes the milk Ninja.

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Speaker 1: She came, she gave me the cookie, she gave me

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Speaker 1: the tea. I did all the things. I recruited some

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Speaker 1: woman I didn't even know, who's so sweet songwriter, who

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Speaker 1: my husband knew. I mean, I was just grabbing any

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Speaker 1: resource and it just wasn't working for us. And I

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Speaker 1: had so much guilt around it that I think that

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Speaker 1: added to the postpartum depression. So I think that does

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Speaker 1: a lot. I think that is one of the biggest

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Speaker 1: contributing factors uh trouble breastfeed, the guilt around it and

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Speaker 1: postpartum or breastfeeding and not getting any sleep. I will

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Speaker 1: say that's a lot to people that do breastfeed successfully

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Speaker 1: but get up a lot at night and they're the

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Speaker 1: only ones feeding them, so the husbands are not helping,

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Speaker 1: You're not getting any sleep. I think that contributes. And

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Speaker 1: then my guilt was similar, but again completely different. I

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Speaker 1: had milk, I was like overproducing again, bathing my child

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Speaker 1: and restam another gold medal, but she wouldn't latch and

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Speaker 1: that's why I had people coming in lactation specialists saying, oh,

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Speaker 1: she needs surgery, she needs this, and for like lip

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Speaker 1: tied and all this crap. And I was like, she's

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Speaker 1: not tongue tied, she's not lip tied. I've had specialists

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Speaker 1: look like she's fine, and again they're massaging your boobs

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Speaker 1: and you're being I mean, you feel just I mean,

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Speaker 1: it's just a very it's a lot, yeah, not modest experience.

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Speaker 1: And she's also not human being, so I mean at

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Speaker 1: some point you're like, okay, I do have feelings. And

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Speaker 1: I remember sitting in you know, the rocking chair, and

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Speaker 1: I'm bawling and she's bawling and she's hungry and she's

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Speaker 1: not eating and she's not latching, and I'm just like,

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Speaker 1: give her the freaking bottle. And then people guilty about

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Speaker 1: the bottle and I'm like, are you kidding me? I

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Speaker 1: can't I do that now at the hospital. So like

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Speaker 1: with my last one, my milk comes in really fast.

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Speaker 1: You know, I only pumped with one of them, really,

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Speaker 1: but my milk had come in. She was latching, so

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Speaker 1: I thought she was getting she was starving. She was

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Speaker 1: like not getting any she had lost so much weight.

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Speaker 1: I asked him to bring me a pump because I

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Speaker 1: was ngorged in the hospital, and of course they didn't

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Speaker 1: want to bring me a pump. I forced them to

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Speaker 1: bring me a pump. When they brought me a pump,

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Speaker 1: I pump for twenty minutes and nothing would come out

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Speaker 1: of my boobs and I was in gorge and exactly

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Speaker 1: and everyone looked at me like that and they go interesting.

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Speaker 1: I was like, great, while my baby screaming, and I'm like,

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Speaker 1: so do we want to do anything about this? Clearly

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Speaker 1: she hasn't been eating for the last three days. I

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Speaker 1: think setting out of my boobs. Had a non mom

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Speaker 1: nurse in the hospital when I had legend the last

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Speaker 1: baby for anybody that's new, and she's a non mom nurse,

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Speaker 1: and she guilted me. Oh. I was like, I wanted

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Speaker 1: to pump. I wanted formula, and like, we need to feed.

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Speaker 1: I was just going to release a little bit and

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Speaker 1: then but then when nothing came out, yeah, but I

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Speaker 1: was like, oh, great, I brought sports brawls. I'm good

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Speaker 1: to go. I did this with my first baby. I

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Speaker 1: didn't even like give me sports brawls to bring me

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Speaker 1: formula She's like, no, let's keep keep trying. What do

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Speaker 1: you want to get some milk out of here? You know?

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Speaker 1: And so finally I just yelled at him. But I

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Speaker 1: don't like how hospitals are so like making everybody feel

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Speaker 1: so guilty these days. I don't like it at all.

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Speaker 1: Well that and like what you said about because I

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Speaker 1: know you had really bad postpartum. Did you have postprim depression?

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Speaker 1: I mean I think I think everyone does, like the

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Speaker 1: first couple of weeks everything, Yeah, yeah, but it's just

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Speaker 1: it is the comments and stuff, and I mean, I know, Sehn,

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Speaker 1: you've had kind of you can't even say. You don't

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Speaker 1: have to be so careful of things you say because

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Speaker 1: it's like you can't even say we want a healthy

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Speaker 1: baby because when people attacked then it's just it's so great.

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Speaker 1: You literally cannot say anything without people attacking you. And

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Speaker 1: it's like breast bottle formula. I mean I walked in,

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Speaker 1: I remember we walked into to meet your beautiful baby,

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Speaker 1: and I was just like, hey, you should get a

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Speaker 1: baby breeze. That formulas great, like not stress. He made

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Speaker 1: me feel really good because like, okay, but yeah, I mean,

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Speaker 1: there's just so much guilty on every single decision you

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Speaker 1: ever make as a mom. And I'm sure we're going

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Speaker 1: to get some comments, you know, on this, and you

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Speaker 1: know it's not it's not even like it's just we

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Speaker 1: all just do our own thing and support and say, hey,

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry that didn't work for you, but you're doing

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Speaker 1: the best that you can. I mean, literally, you have

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Speaker 1: four moms in a room that are just all they

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Speaker 1: want is is to raise a healthy, good baby the

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Speaker 1: best they can, like mentally, physically. It's like that should

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Speaker 1: always be enough to me. Absolutely, I agree. Let's take

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Speaker 1: a break. I forgot you didn't say what you did

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Speaker 1: worse with mom the word the gold medal. We're there again.

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Speaker 1: So my gold medal was just on a schedule, schedule

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Speaker 1: and breastfeeding, which got us off on the total team. Sorry, well,

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Speaker 1: well you can look at that either as a gold

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Speaker 1: medal or failing formula all the formula. I yell, I

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Speaker 1: can yell? Are you yellow? I am a yeller? I

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Speaker 1: can I can lose my well, which is good because

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Speaker 1: we're gonna be talking to Carla later. She wrote a

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Speaker 1: book How a Lot, How to Not Lose your with

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Speaker 1: your kids, which, okay, there's that, but Also, I think

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Speaker 1: there's something and I always kind of want to do

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Speaker 1: a segment on this on the show. Just a true mom,

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Speaker 1: like a mom truth or a mom what's the thing

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Speaker 1: called like when you um come and help me out

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Speaker 1: here where it's like would say like fail, no, like

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Speaker 1: a mom's secret or it's like I really wanted to confession,

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Speaker 1: like a mom confessions confession, but it's like it's so bad,

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean that? Like, but other mom

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Speaker 1: would relate to Does anyone have a mom confession? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but we'll well, we'll just we'll meet you there. Let

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Speaker 1: us be vulnerable to meet you there. All the women,

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Speaker 1: all the mom haters out there, they're they're gonna come

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Speaker 1: Confortunately someone gave birth to them. Okay, I'll start with

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Speaker 1: like a simple one. Okay, okay, so I pump for

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Speaker 1: every single feeding. Are you gonna do formula? Um? I started? Yeah, okay, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I good, good for you. Formula so that you go

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Speaker 1: battlists can make us feel like, actually have some formula

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Speaker 1: samples in our bag right now to give you she

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Speaker 1: actually does. Um. So I have supplemented with formula and

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Speaker 1: I plan on some point, but since I am producing

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Speaker 1: at the moment. I'm just kind of like whatever. I

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Speaker 1: had to pump on the plane for the first time

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Speaker 1: the other day, so that was a humbling experience. Um

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Speaker 1: so that made me not want to pump anymore. Well,

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Speaker 1: when you're ready to drop, but some cold cabbage on

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Speaker 1: your boobs works, like just don yeah, I know, that's

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Speaker 1: that's what killed me. Cold cabbage in a tight sports

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Speaker 1: p will lock those bad boys up. Um okay, So

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Speaker 1: I'll start with the tame one. I mean, this could

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Speaker 1: be team or not. I don't know, but they like

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Speaker 1: people guilt you into like you gotta wash everything, you

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Speaker 1: gotta do it in whatever whatever. Um, I can't tell

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Speaker 1: you the last time I've cleaned pump hearts. It's that bad. No,

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Speaker 1: I'm not gonna let anybody feel bad, you see me.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, nope, absolutely not. I mean that's terrible. That's

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Speaker 1: my first one. That's good. Have you like rented out

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Speaker 1: with water? Janna's judging wondered what that to? Have you

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Speaker 1: have you thought about it? I'm just the voice for

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Speaker 1: the listeners, So I'm just gonna like I'm just doing Yes,

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Speaker 1: I use it. I rented out with really hot water.

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Speaker 1: Then she's not okay, what's the bad one? I come on, Okay, okay,

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Speaker 1: we got to come up with that mouse. Okay, Kristen, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: mind some more recent and so embarrassing. I don't share it.

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Speaker 1: I don't even get to poop by myself. So you guys,

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Speaker 1: this is such mom like we have toddlers. This is

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Speaker 1: so embarrassing. I can't believe this is the most recent

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Speaker 1: one I can think of, because I feel like the

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Speaker 1: baby days I was since such a fog. Anyways, the

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Speaker 1: other day, everyone kept coming into the bathroom and my

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Speaker 1: husband's on the road, and I was just like, I

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Speaker 1: just got the bathroom in peace. So I made them

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Speaker 1: all go outside. I only have too, but it feels

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Speaker 1: like there's fifty when they're all engaging. So I made

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Speaker 1: them go to the outside the back. I like push

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Speaker 1: them out of the half bath and shut the door

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Speaker 1: and I locked it, which just really threw them both

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Speaker 1: for like it's very abandoned. And then I was like,

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Speaker 1: how am I supposed to even enjoy being in here

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Speaker 1: by myself if you're both crying outside of the door.

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Speaker 1: And I felt like it was a hostage situation. So

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Speaker 1: I turned to Peekaboo Barn on my cell phone and

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Speaker 1: I triple keyed it, you know, to put it under

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Speaker 1: child lock, and I slid it under the door like

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Speaker 1: it you know, you like triple click to get it

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Speaker 1: on like guided access, so they can't get into any

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Speaker 1: part of your phone other than what a is open. Okay,

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Speaker 1: it's actually an iPhone thing. It's not like an extra

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Speaker 1: app or anything. Guided access is what it's called interesting

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Speaker 1: and you can do it on any app you're in

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Speaker 1: you just like I think it's the side key. You

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Speaker 1: just triple click it and it puts you in. You

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Speaker 1: have to have a passco to get out of it anyway,

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Speaker 1: so I triple not seem like a fail. Okay, great,

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Speaker 1: I slid it under like it was a hostage negotiation,

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Speaker 1: and I heard, okay, I need you, I need you,

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Speaker 1: I need because I'm not saying this is just my

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Speaker 1: screen time here with even so that I could just okay, well,

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Speaker 1: I just admitted to giving my child bacteria filled milk.

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Speaker 1: All right, I'm gonna get I'm gonna get. Give me

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Speaker 1: time time, Christie. If you don't want to do that,

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Speaker 1: do you like a mom confession where it's like, sometimes

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Speaker 1: I wish that my child would be beep beep. I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna have you guys. I have them. I did a

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Speaker 1: lot of days alone, like Jannah knows, I didn't. We

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Speaker 1: don't have like a nanny. We didn't have a night

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Speaker 1: nurse at all with the first one. I had a

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Speaker 1: night nurse for sixteen nights with the second one. So

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Speaker 1: there's certainly some dark times. I just need to dig

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Speaker 1: for a minute. I just it was a moment I

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Speaker 1: wasn't proud of when I slid the ransom under the

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Speaker 1: doors so that I could poop alone in peace. Catherine,

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Speaker 1: I know I have. I just got to think about it,

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Speaker 1: not even like something that's happened, like just like sometimes

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Speaker 1: I wish or sometimes I think my daughter is annoying,

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Speaker 1: or sometimes I missed the days where I used to

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Speaker 1: sit in my apartment and date myself and watch two

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Speaker 1: movies back to back and order pad tie and open

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Speaker 1: a bottle of wine at the very beginning of the

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Speaker 1: first movie and order pad tied before the second one. Kristen,

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Speaker 1: do miss it? I miss alone time? Oh? Yeah? Alone

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Speaker 1: time for sure. I mean not in like I mean

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Speaker 1: not in a way where I'm like I wish this

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Speaker 1: would all go away, But I definitely and then I

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Speaker 1: feel guilty because I missed those days. Sure well here

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Speaker 1: and that's the problem too, because for everything that and

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Speaker 1: you know you've gone through we'll shoot you guys. Both

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Speaker 1: Catherine didn't gone through a miscarriage, have you? So? Okay?

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Speaker 1: So Sean and Krison have both gone through miscarriages, as

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Speaker 1: I have as well. But we can't say that because

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Speaker 1: then people say, but you should be so grateful, like

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Speaker 1: you have a kid. So that's another thing where it's

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Speaker 1: like it's very hard to but I feel so we're

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Speaker 1: entitled to that. Like, yes, I too would like to

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Speaker 1: poop alone and not have Jay's pounding on the door

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Speaker 1: and Julie asking me questions. Absolutely, I would love to

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Speaker 1: lay about all day and watch a walk to you know,

422
00:22:32,920 --> 00:22:35,080
Speaker 1: walk to remember, and a walk in the clouds and

423
00:22:35,160 --> 00:22:36,800
Speaker 1: anything else with the walk to do whatever I want

424
00:22:36,840 --> 00:22:41,719
Speaker 1: and whatever. Yeah, but you also then if you say that,

425
00:22:41,800 --> 00:22:44,960
Speaker 1: then you get crapped for that. Yeah. Well, if you're

426
00:22:44,960 --> 00:22:48,480
Speaker 1: in the arena, you gotta play big. If you're in

427
00:22:48,520 --> 00:22:52,320
Speaker 1: the arena, they tear you down. Do anything, keV. I mean,

428
00:22:52,359 --> 00:22:55,200
Speaker 1: I know I have stuff, Sean, just say it that

429
00:22:55,400 --> 00:22:57,919
Speaker 1: I have so many there has to be come on,

430
00:22:58,680 --> 00:23:02,680
Speaker 1: I mean, what are you feeding my newborn bacteria filled milk?

431
00:23:02,800 --> 00:23:06,920
Speaker 1: So it's pretty bad, all right, well that I need

432
00:23:06,960 --> 00:23:09,960
Speaker 1: my kids like lucky charms. Isn't your milk like the

433
00:23:09,960 --> 00:23:12,520
Speaker 1: cleanest thing, more leaning than that? Yeah, but I guess

434
00:23:13,160 --> 00:23:15,320
Speaker 1: I'm just I wouldn't worry. I love our two side conversations.

435
00:23:15,400 --> 00:23:19,080
Speaker 1: Y'all are talking about the milk being you know, clean,

436
00:23:19,320 --> 00:23:21,200
Speaker 1: But then Katherine's like, I need my kids lucky charm.

437
00:23:21,240 --> 00:23:22,480
Speaker 1: You never feed your kids that, And I was like,

438
00:23:22,520 --> 00:23:24,720
Speaker 1: I could fettle more lenient. Yeah, Like we go in

439
00:23:24,800 --> 00:23:26,840
Speaker 1: the beach trip and it's like, oh, we got lucky

440
00:23:26,920 --> 00:23:31,120
Speaker 1: charms for exciting like playing. I'm like, my kids get

441
00:23:31,119 --> 00:23:33,280
Speaker 1: it all the time, but fine, totally respect, you know whatever.

442
00:23:33,320 --> 00:23:38,840
Speaker 1: And I'm like, what marshmallows. I was like, oh, dear God,

443
00:23:38,880 --> 00:23:42,240
Speaker 1: here hoss avocados coming right? You know? I was like,

444
00:23:42,280 --> 00:23:49,000
Speaker 1: who wants blueberries and scrambled eggs? I know, no, but

445
00:23:49,040 --> 00:23:51,840
Speaker 1: I am getting I am getting way better with that

446
00:23:51,920 --> 00:23:54,640
Speaker 1: because just the other day, Julie asked for cereal all

447
00:23:54,640 --> 00:23:58,160
Speaker 1: the time for dinner, and all the time I'm like, no, no, no,

448
00:23:58,160 --> 00:24:00,000
Speaker 1: no no. And finally, in the past couple of nights,

449
00:24:00,040 --> 00:24:03,120
Speaker 1: I'm like, yes, fine, what do you want which one? Yeah?

450
00:24:03,200 --> 00:24:07,960
Speaker 1: Good for you. Yeah, we had a lot of rules.

451
00:24:08,000 --> 00:24:10,959
Speaker 1: I felt like growing up with that kind of stuff,

452
00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:12,399
Speaker 1: and so I think that's why I don't have a

453
00:24:12,400 --> 00:24:16,280
Speaker 1: lot of I'm not a huge agreed. There's a happy medium.

454
00:24:16,320 --> 00:24:18,840
Speaker 1: We're just good at balancing. I will let them have junk,

455
00:24:19,080 --> 00:24:21,280
Speaker 1: but they will have fruit with every meal. Listen, dinner,

456
00:24:21,320 --> 00:24:23,359
Speaker 1: they'll have a fruit vegetable. But I'll let you know.

457
00:24:23,640 --> 00:24:26,560
Speaker 1: I don't care if clean. But then also love orders

458
00:24:26,560 --> 00:24:29,800
Speaker 1: talk about with me on DoorDash. So see, I'm all

459
00:24:29,800 --> 00:24:32,439
Speaker 1: about some balance. Yeah, you need it. She says, I

460
00:24:32,480 --> 00:24:37,359
Speaker 1: need a taco without the salad, so she's even taking

461
00:24:37,359 --> 00:24:42,600
Speaker 1: off anything green that comes with taco. About. Yeah. Here's

462
00:24:42,600 --> 00:24:44,439
Speaker 1: the thing though that I dip do with Jolie is

463
00:24:44,680 --> 00:24:46,400
Speaker 1: I have to She has to make a happy play

464
00:24:46,440 --> 00:24:49,160
Speaker 1: in order to get a snack, so happy plate means

465
00:24:49,160 --> 00:24:52,840
Speaker 1: she has to finish her meal, her dinner before she

466
00:24:52,880 --> 00:24:55,280
Speaker 1: can get chocolate or a cookie. I usually do that.

467
00:24:55,359 --> 00:24:57,280
Speaker 1: I mean, there are times I will break the rule,

468
00:24:57,800 --> 00:25:01,240
Speaker 1: but in general, yes, I can't go completely rogue. Guys

469
00:25:01,240 --> 00:25:03,560
Speaker 1: are looking to us for some sort of guidance. You can't,

470
00:25:03,600 --> 00:25:07,479
Speaker 1: I mean, but then like your kids get older and

471
00:25:07,520 --> 00:25:09,000
Speaker 1: it's like, I'm not going to tell them they can't

472
00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:11,280
Speaker 1: go get a snack like I go to school now,

473
00:25:11,359 --> 00:25:14,000
Speaker 1: you know. And it's like so it changes as they

474
00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:15,920
Speaker 1: get older a little bit too. Well. It's funny because

475
00:25:15,920 --> 00:25:19,200
Speaker 1: that year I was just at Katherine's, her daughter's what

476
00:25:19,240 --> 00:25:22,480
Speaker 1: how old is she? Eight? Hate year old? Party, and

477
00:25:22,840 --> 00:25:24,800
Speaker 1: they were sprite there and Julie's wants and I was like, no,

478
00:25:24,880 --> 00:25:26,560
Speaker 1: Julie can't have it, and she's like, you know, starts

479
00:25:26,600 --> 00:25:28,040
Speaker 1: her litt temper. I was like, you're not fine. You've

480
00:25:28,040 --> 00:25:29,680
Speaker 1: never tried it before I try it, so I feel

481
00:25:29,680 --> 00:25:32,960
Speaker 1: like she hated it, but she usually the case that's good. Yeah,

482
00:25:33,080 --> 00:25:35,080
Speaker 1: I was like, all right, my kids, with all of us,

483
00:25:35,119 --> 00:25:37,320
Speaker 1: actually we think we want something and then we have

484
00:25:37,480 --> 00:25:40,960
Speaker 1: it and we're like, my kids didn't have soft drinks

485
00:25:40,960 --> 00:25:43,639
Speaker 1: to relate, I mean, minus like my in law is

486
00:25:43,640 --> 00:25:45,920
Speaker 1: giving it to him when I don't know. But now

487
00:25:45,960 --> 00:25:49,720
Speaker 1: occasionally I'll let them have like a dr pepper or coke. Conession,

488
00:25:51,040 --> 00:25:53,399
Speaker 1: I'm like the cleanest human on the planet. This is

489
00:25:53,400 --> 00:25:57,040
Speaker 1: a good confession. Sparked by your soda talk pop. If

490
00:25:57,040 --> 00:26:02,520
Speaker 1: you're in the North, I am clean, clean, like gluten

491
00:26:02,680 --> 00:26:04,840
Speaker 1: raw like I don't eat meat, the kids don't eat meat.

492
00:26:05,520 --> 00:26:07,240
Speaker 1: Pressing is a redneck, so he eats meat when he's

493
00:26:07,280 --> 00:26:10,800
Speaker 1: not at home. But when I was growing love Bug

494
00:26:10,840 --> 00:26:13,840
Speaker 1: in my belly, I had a fountain soda a day.

495
00:26:14,320 --> 00:26:16,679
Speaker 1: I could not get enough. I couldn't get enough of it,

496
00:26:16,720 --> 00:26:19,159
Speaker 1: and Pressing kept saying, you're feeding our baby rat poison sugar.

497
00:26:19,200 --> 00:26:21,480
Speaker 1: And I was like, lay off me at like the

498
00:26:21,560 --> 00:26:28,040
Speaker 1: sonic time. So there's one. I mean, like she honestly

499
00:26:28,080 --> 00:26:31,080
Speaker 1: her blood type could be a positive and diet PEPSI.

500
00:26:31,240 --> 00:26:33,880
Speaker 1: I drank a coke slurpee every single day with Jay's

501
00:26:33,880 --> 00:26:37,200
Speaker 1: all right, I'm gonna seven eleven. Your confession suck. I

502
00:26:37,240 --> 00:26:40,920
Speaker 1: always drink it, trying so hard. The dark days I forget,

503
00:26:41,880 --> 00:26:45,359
Speaker 1: but that days. Oh before we take a break because

504
00:26:45,600 --> 00:26:48,200
Speaker 1: actually we probably talked to her next because I think

505
00:26:48,240 --> 00:26:49,760
Speaker 1: we're on the right track here. How did I lose

506
00:26:49,760 --> 00:26:52,359
Speaker 1: your with your kids? Um? We're gonna have carlin Naumberg

507
00:26:52,960 --> 00:27:04,720
Speaker 1: on the phone with us next. Okay, I'm really excited

508
00:27:04,720 --> 00:27:07,000
Speaker 1: about this because obviously I have my girls here, but

509
00:27:07,440 --> 00:27:09,679
Speaker 1: we are getting get on the phone with Carla um

510
00:27:09,680 --> 00:27:12,560
Speaker 1: In her book, I'll never forget. It came to me.

511
00:27:13,560 --> 00:27:16,399
Speaker 1: I think it was like in UM some like gift

512
00:27:16,400 --> 00:27:18,200
Speaker 1: box or whatever, but it was how did not lose

513
00:27:18,240 --> 00:27:21,480
Speaker 1: your with your kids? And I was like, I love

514
00:27:21,560 --> 00:27:23,600
Speaker 1: this title so much. So we have around the phone

515
00:27:23,680 --> 00:27:28,200
Speaker 1: right now, Carla, I'm glad to be here. UM, thank

516
00:27:28,240 --> 00:27:31,159
Speaker 1: you for just being honest, because I feel like a

517
00:27:31,160 --> 00:27:35,199
Speaker 1: lot of times people are like, they don't we lose our?

518
00:27:35,840 --> 00:27:38,760
Speaker 1: But how do you not lose your? That's the thing. Oh,

519
00:27:38,840 --> 00:27:41,359
Speaker 1: we all lose our. I still lose my. I just

520
00:27:41,400 --> 00:27:43,520
Speaker 1: do it less than I used to, and when it

521
00:27:43,600 --> 00:27:46,399
Speaker 1: still happens, I can recover a lot more quickly than

522
00:27:46,400 --> 00:27:50,360
Speaker 1: I did before. But let's be clear, we're all losing it, right,

523
00:27:50,400 --> 00:27:52,679
Speaker 1: But like, what's the first step in taking that to

524
00:27:52,840 --> 00:27:54,440
Speaker 1: not like is it to take a breath as it

525
00:27:54,520 --> 00:27:56,840
Speaker 1: to walk away? I need to read it because I

526
00:27:56,960 --> 00:27:59,560
Speaker 1: still have it's sitting on my sitting on my side table,

527
00:28:00,040 --> 00:28:01,840
Speaker 1: and it's just it's almost like I just have to

528
00:28:01,920 --> 00:28:04,240
Speaker 1: keep looking at it to be like, okay, breathe, But

529
00:28:04,359 --> 00:28:06,600
Speaker 1: what like I'm gonna open it. I promise I will,

530
00:28:07,200 --> 00:28:10,359
Speaker 1: But what's the first step in that? I think the

531
00:28:10,400 --> 00:28:14,520
Speaker 1: first step is to understand what's causing our ship loss right.

532
00:28:15,080 --> 00:28:17,520
Speaker 1: And we may think it's because our kids are being

533
00:28:17,640 --> 00:28:22,200
Speaker 1: obnoxious or unreasonable or unpredictable, and well, that's true. Sometimes

534
00:28:22,800 --> 00:28:26,440
Speaker 1: I would argue it's that because we parents get triggered.

535
00:28:26,760 --> 00:28:30,119
Speaker 1: Something happens in our life, whether it's something about a

536
00:28:30,160 --> 00:28:33,760
Speaker 1: mortgage payment or a flat tire or bad news from

537
00:28:33,800 --> 00:28:36,840
Speaker 1: the principle or whatever it is, and our buttons, and

538
00:28:36,880 --> 00:28:39,480
Speaker 1: we all have the buttons, get big and bright and

539
00:28:39,640 --> 00:28:42,800
Speaker 1: super sensitive when we are triggered. And then our kids

540
00:28:42,840 --> 00:28:45,560
Speaker 1: come along and as any parent who is spanking big man,

541
00:28:45,640 --> 00:28:47,440
Speaker 1: so the kid will tell you. Kids see a button

542
00:28:47,480 --> 00:28:50,320
Speaker 1: and they want to push it. So when we parents

543
00:28:50,360 --> 00:28:53,680
Speaker 1: are triggered, we've got these super pushable buttons, and our

544
00:28:53,760 --> 00:28:55,600
Speaker 1: kids are like, I'm going for it. I'm spicking my

545
00:28:55,640 --> 00:28:58,120
Speaker 1: finger out, I'm pushing that button, because that's what you do.

546
00:28:58,920 --> 00:29:01,000
Speaker 1: And so the first step up is to start to

547
00:29:01,080 --> 00:29:04,160
Speaker 1: notice when we parents are triggered and know how to

548
00:29:04,200 --> 00:29:07,320
Speaker 1: take care of ourselves so that when our kids behave

549
00:29:07,400 --> 00:29:11,640
Speaker 1: in problematic, annoying, and predictable whatever ways, our buttons aren't pushed.

550
00:29:11,680 --> 00:29:13,800
Speaker 1: We can be cool and stay calm and roll with it.

551
00:29:13,880 --> 00:29:17,160
Speaker 1: Because any parenting book that tells you that the secret

552
00:29:17,320 --> 00:29:19,480
Speaker 1: to not losing your is to get your kids to

553
00:29:19,560 --> 00:29:22,400
Speaker 1: behave well all the time. Well, I don't know. No,

554
00:29:22,520 --> 00:29:24,400
Speaker 1: I don't think that's ever going to happen. If I

555
00:29:24,440 --> 00:29:25,960
Speaker 1: had the secret to that, I don't know, I'd be

556
00:29:26,000 --> 00:29:28,160
Speaker 1: hanging out with Oprah my private Islanderson. Why are you

557
00:29:28,160 --> 00:29:30,280
Speaker 1: shaking your head? Because no kid is going to behave

558
00:29:30,320 --> 00:29:35,040
Speaker 1: well all the time. I mean that's likely appropriate. No,

559
00:29:35,360 --> 00:29:37,720
Speaker 1: I don't actually want them to, because then I'll feel

560
00:29:37,760 --> 00:29:42,480
Speaker 1: like they're better than me. Who's raising who? I mean?

561
00:29:43,520 --> 00:29:45,760
Speaker 1: If they lose there and I lose my, then at

562
00:29:45,800 --> 00:29:50,600
Speaker 1: least we're all being human. Make you feel better about yourself. Yeah,

563
00:29:51,240 --> 00:29:53,920
Speaker 1: you're all losing it together. That's right. My four year

564
00:29:53,960 --> 00:29:56,120
Speaker 1: old already kind of acts like she should be a parent.

565
00:29:56,280 --> 00:29:58,640
Speaker 1: So if she was like always well put together and

566
00:29:58,600 --> 00:30:00,600
Speaker 1: in a tiny business suit and life, I think I

567
00:30:00,640 --> 00:30:02,520
Speaker 1: would probably feel like there's no need for me and

568
00:30:02,520 --> 00:30:06,400
Speaker 1: I could just roll out. Is that a thing, though?

569
00:30:06,480 --> 00:30:08,480
Speaker 1: Is it is that important to not have the kid

570
00:30:08,520 --> 00:30:14,000
Speaker 1: be the parent in that situation? Absolutely? Look, kids need

571
00:30:14,040 --> 00:30:16,400
Speaker 1: to be kids, and when kids become parents, they don't

572
00:30:16,800 --> 00:30:18,800
Speaker 1: They don't get a chance to have fun and make

573
00:30:18,840 --> 00:30:21,920
Speaker 1: mistakes and feel their feelings and do all those things.

574
00:30:21,920 --> 00:30:25,560
Speaker 1: So absolutely, I mean, letting our kids be kids is

575
00:30:25,560 --> 00:30:27,160
Speaker 1: one of the greatest gifts we can give them. And

576
00:30:27,200 --> 00:30:29,920
Speaker 1: I frequently say to my older daughter who wants to

577
00:30:29,960 --> 00:30:32,320
Speaker 1: be the parents, She's like, I think she's ready, she's

578
00:30:32,360 --> 00:30:35,120
Speaker 1: eleven years old. I say to her, Hey, I got this.

579
00:30:35,280 --> 00:30:37,040
Speaker 1: I'm the parent. I'll take care of this for you. Now.

580
00:30:37,120 --> 00:30:40,440
Speaker 1: She doesn't always believe me, but we'll get there. How

581
00:30:40,600 --> 00:30:43,000
Speaker 1: is like, what do you say when you Because there's

582
00:30:43,040 --> 00:30:45,080
Speaker 1: a lot of times when I've talked to Jolie and

583
00:30:45,080 --> 00:30:47,680
Speaker 1: I've gone in the room and I know I did

584
00:30:47,680 --> 00:30:49,240
Speaker 1: it wrong. Is there something that I should say? Like

585
00:30:49,280 --> 00:30:54,000
Speaker 1: should I go and apologize for for me losing it? Oh? Absolutely?

586
00:30:54,080 --> 00:30:55,680
Speaker 1: And here's how I do it. And I've had a

587
00:30:55,680 --> 00:30:58,120
Speaker 1: lot of practice with this. One is I'll go in

588
00:30:58,240 --> 00:31:00,440
Speaker 1: and I'll say I'm sorry I yelled at you. I

589
00:31:00,440 --> 00:31:02,440
Speaker 1: shouldn't yelled at you. That wasn't the right way to

590
00:31:02,480 --> 00:31:05,640
Speaker 1: handle it. And look, the trick to apologizing, well, there's

591
00:31:05,680 --> 00:31:08,360
Speaker 1: two tricks. One is wait till you're calm. If you're

592
00:31:08,360 --> 00:31:11,320
Speaker 1: still all triggered and piste off, what's gonna happen is

593
00:31:11,320 --> 00:31:13,480
Speaker 1: you're gonna go in there and apologize to your child,

594
00:31:13,800 --> 00:31:16,000
Speaker 1: and you're gonna expect them to be like, it's who came,

595
00:31:16,040 --> 00:31:18,200
Speaker 1: mom me, I love you, I'm sorry too, this was

596
00:31:18,240 --> 00:31:21,880
Speaker 1: all my fault. And instead they're gonna like grumble at you,

597
00:31:22,040 --> 00:31:24,280
Speaker 1: or be like, yeah, you should be yelled at me,

598
00:31:24,400 --> 00:31:26,239
Speaker 1: or maybe they're just gonna ignore you. And because you're

599
00:31:26,240 --> 00:31:28,360
Speaker 1: still triggered, you're gonna find that behavior annoying and you're

600
00:31:28,360 --> 00:31:31,360
Speaker 1: gonna lose your again. So you gotta wait till you're calm,

601
00:31:31,920 --> 00:31:33,760
Speaker 1: so that even if the kid doesn't give you this

602
00:31:33,800 --> 00:31:36,800
Speaker 1: awesome response that you want, you can still stay calm

603
00:31:37,040 --> 00:31:39,440
Speaker 1: and not lose it. And the other thing is that

604
00:31:39,640 --> 00:31:41,960
Speaker 1: you never have to apologize for how you feel. You

605
00:31:41,960 --> 00:31:43,800
Speaker 1: don't have to say I'm sorry, I was mad. There's

606
00:31:43,880 --> 00:31:47,240
Speaker 1: nothing wrong with being mad, and I want adults to

607
00:31:47,280 --> 00:31:49,200
Speaker 1: know that, and I really want kids to know that

608
00:31:49,240 --> 00:31:51,240
Speaker 1: there's nothing wrong with being mad or piste off or

609
00:31:51,280 --> 00:31:53,880
Speaker 1: frustrated or confused or anxious or any of it. I mean,

610
00:31:53,960 --> 00:31:56,480
Speaker 1: it doesn't feel good, but there's nothing wrong with it.

611
00:31:56,560 --> 00:31:59,760
Speaker 1: So we apologize for our behavior, right, I'm sorry yelled

612
00:31:59,760 --> 00:32:02,160
Speaker 1: at you, I'm sorry I slammed the door, and then

613
00:32:02,480 --> 00:32:04,800
Speaker 1: after we've sort of reconnected, there may need to be

614
00:32:04,800 --> 00:32:08,200
Speaker 1: another conversation like, hey, buddy, I'm sorry I locked it,

615
00:32:08,280 --> 00:32:10,080
Speaker 1: but I asked you to put on your shoes eighty

616
00:32:10,120 --> 00:32:13,240
Speaker 1: seven times and I got frustrated. And then you can

617
00:32:13,280 --> 00:32:15,680
Speaker 1: talk about strategies for getting those shoes on, which is,

618
00:32:15,960 --> 00:32:18,160
Speaker 1: you know, the challenge of a lifetime. Well and then

619
00:32:18,200 --> 00:32:19,640
Speaker 1: you also have a thing too with like how to

620
00:32:19,680 --> 00:32:21,320
Speaker 1: make bedtime easier, because I feel like that's been my

621
00:32:21,320 --> 00:32:24,800
Speaker 1: biggest struggle. I mean, what Katherine you're over last night, Julie,

622
00:32:25,160 --> 00:32:26,880
Speaker 1: I mean she got up five million times. I have

623
00:32:26,880 --> 00:32:28,400
Speaker 1: to pee, I want milk, I want water, I have

624
00:32:28,440 --> 00:32:30,200
Speaker 1: to go to the bathroom again. I'm scared in my room.

625
00:32:30,200 --> 00:32:32,400
Speaker 1: I need my unicorn, I need my But it's like, Jolie,

626
00:32:32,400 --> 00:32:34,280
Speaker 1: please go back to bed, Julie, please go And then

627
00:32:34,320 --> 00:32:36,760
Speaker 1: I wanted to scream, Jolie, go back to freaking you

628
00:32:36,800 --> 00:32:39,320
Speaker 1: know what I mean, Like, it's got so frustrating because

629
00:32:39,360 --> 00:32:41,440
Speaker 1: it's two hours of it. So I'm like, what do

630
00:32:41,560 --> 00:32:45,960
Speaker 1: what do I say to? You know, she's going to

631
00:32:46,040 --> 00:32:49,400
Speaker 1: be four in like a few weeks, so love to

632
00:32:49,520 --> 00:32:51,160
Speaker 1: that old This is a tough age, By the way,

633
00:32:51,200 --> 00:32:52,760
Speaker 1: I would argue that three and a half to more

634
00:32:52,800 --> 00:32:56,600
Speaker 1: and a half is the hardest age. A m It

635
00:32:56,680 --> 00:32:59,560
Speaker 1: gets better. I promise it will get better. But what

636
00:32:59,640 --> 00:33:02,560
Speaker 1: you can finally say you were is you can say, hey, kiddo,

637
00:33:03,520 --> 00:33:06,600
Speaker 1: I am tired. If you get up again, there is

638
00:33:06,600 --> 00:33:08,280
Speaker 1: a chance I'm gonna lose it with you because I'm

639
00:33:08,280 --> 00:33:10,960
Speaker 1: getting too tired and I can't. I need to go

640
00:33:11,000 --> 00:33:13,040
Speaker 1: to bed. And so if you come down again, there

641
00:33:13,080 --> 00:33:14,440
Speaker 1: is a chance I'm gonna yell at you because I'm

642
00:33:14,480 --> 00:33:16,080
Speaker 1: so frustrated, and I just want you to know that,

643
00:33:16,160 --> 00:33:17,920
Speaker 1: and I say things like that's my kids. I'll say

644
00:33:17,920 --> 00:33:20,120
Speaker 1: to them, you know what, my buttons are all pushed.

645
00:33:20,400 --> 00:33:22,200
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go in the other room taking deep breath,

646
00:33:22,240 --> 00:33:24,160
Speaker 1: and if you follow me, I will probably yell at you.

647
00:33:24,200 --> 00:33:26,720
Speaker 1: So I need you to know that. And sometimes they

648
00:33:26,760 --> 00:33:28,880
Speaker 1: give me some space, and sometimes they come in after

649
00:33:28,920 --> 00:33:30,760
Speaker 1: me and guess what, I lose it because I got

650
00:33:30,760 --> 00:33:34,760
Speaker 1: no band with left. Is it okay to yell? Is

651
00:33:34,800 --> 00:33:36,520
Speaker 1: it okay to yell? Yeah? Of course we all do it.

652
00:33:36,600 --> 00:33:42,440
Speaker 1: Sometimes the question is, well, it depends is so first

653
00:33:42,440 --> 00:33:45,120
Speaker 1: of all, is this the dominant dynamic in your relationship

654
00:33:45,120 --> 00:33:47,440
Speaker 1: with your child? If you're yelling at the constantly, that's

655
00:33:47,480 --> 00:33:49,400
Speaker 1: not awesome, right, It doesn't feel good for you, it

656
00:33:49,440 --> 00:33:52,080
Speaker 1: doesn't feel good for them. And if you're yelling at

657
00:33:52,120 --> 00:33:55,880
Speaker 1: them about sort of confusing and unpredictable things in ways

658
00:33:55,920 --> 00:33:59,600
Speaker 1: that feel disproportionate, like if they spill their milk, and

659
00:33:59,640 --> 00:34:02,000
Speaker 1: maybe when you know you were a kid, your parents

660
00:34:02,120 --> 00:34:05,840
Speaker 1: just would absolutely explode, like ethically when you spilled your milk.

661
00:34:05,880 --> 00:34:08,799
Speaker 1: And so now you see spilled milk in your body's like, oh,

662
00:34:08,880 --> 00:34:10,319
Speaker 1: I know what to do in the situation, I lose

663
00:34:10,360 --> 00:34:13,560
Speaker 1: my And if you like explode like crazy town over

664
00:34:13,560 --> 00:34:17,799
Speaker 1: spilled milk, that's confusing for a child. You know they're

665
00:34:17,800 --> 00:34:20,160
Speaker 1: gonna be like, oh, I must have done something crazy

666
00:34:20,200 --> 00:34:23,680
Speaker 1: wrong because mom just exploded. There is something wrong with me.

667
00:34:24,320 --> 00:34:26,399
Speaker 1: But you know, let's talk about the shoes thing, because

668
00:34:26,400 --> 00:34:27,880
Speaker 1: I don't know about you, but in my family, this

669
00:34:28,040 --> 00:34:29,799
Speaker 1: is like the ongoing struggle, even though we do it

670
00:34:29,840 --> 00:34:32,239
Speaker 1: every freaking day, somehow it takes a million years to

671
00:34:32,239 --> 00:34:36,280
Speaker 1: get our shoes on every morning. My daughter like eighteen

672
00:34:36,320 --> 00:34:37,960
Speaker 1: times put on your shoes, till on your shoes, put

673
00:34:37,960 --> 00:34:40,680
Speaker 1: on your shoes, and she doesn't, and then I yell

674
00:34:40,719 --> 00:34:44,080
Speaker 1: at her that's pretty predictable. Like she she knew that

675
00:34:44,160 --> 00:34:46,640
Speaker 1: was coming. I should have maybe slowed down and got,

676
00:34:46,719 --> 00:34:49,160
Speaker 1: you know, down on her level and said, let's go

677
00:34:49,200 --> 00:34:51,600
Speaker 1: put on your shoes. What's your strategy for doing it

678
00:34:51,640 --> 00:34:54,600
Speaker 1: and talked her through it. But mornings are busy. I

679
00:34:54,600 --> 00:34:58,120
Speaker 1: don't always do that, and so that's a pretty predictable outcome,

680
00:34:58,239 --> 00:35:01,719
Speaker 1: and she can say, internal, Oh, the reason mom yelled

681
00:35:01,760 --> 00:35:03,560
Speaker 1: at me is let me put my shoes on. So

682
00:35:03,680 --> 00:35:05,400
Speaker 1: some of the questions you might want to ask yourself

683
00:35:05,480 --> 00:35:08,000
Speaker 1: is how often are you exploding at your kids? And

684
00:35:08,040 --> 00:35:10,439
Speaker 1: how intensely is it and is it proportionate to what's

685
00:35:10,440 --> 00:35:13,480
Speaker 1: actually going on? That makes a lot of sense. It's

686
00:35:13,480 --> 00:35:15,600
Speaker 1: so hard though, I think a lot of times for me,

687
00:35:15,800 --> 00:35:18,839
Speaker 1: it's not. I'm not They're like the straw that broke

688
00:35:18,880 --> 00:35:22,600
Speaker 1: the camel's back for me, So it will be like

689
00:35:22,640 --> 00:35:25,000
Speaker 1: a million other adult things and then it will just

690
00:35:25,040 --> 00:35:27,319
Speaker 1: be like the one thing that they do and I don't.

691
00:35:27,400 --> 00:35:29,440
Speaker 1: We're not really a yelling household. I grew up in

692
00:35:29,440 --> 00:35:33,279
Speaker 1: a super yelling household, so I'm very like conscious of

693
00:35:33,320 --> 00:35:36,160
Speaker 1: how we parent, and it's pretty calm most of the time.

694
00:35:36,960 --> 00:35:39,479
Speaker 1: But and I'm not saying it's like perfect, it's just calm,

695
00:35:39,560 --> 00:35:43,080
Speaker 1: like we just don't rage out, you know, Um, but

696
00:35:43,160 --> 00:35:46,520
Speaker 1: I do. I don't know, Like I I feel like

697
00:35:46,560 --> 00:35:48,759
Speaker 1: it's usually like if I'm upset with my husband or

698
00:35:48,800 --> 00:35:50,839
Speaker 1: he's done something that's bothered me, and then they don't

699
00:35:50,840 --> 00:35:53,600
Speaker 1: put their shoes on or whatever, then I'm like, ah,

700
00:35:53,640 --> 00:35:57,480
Speaker 1: you know, like it's it's that's there. Unfortunately, I'm just

701
00:35:57,480 --> 00:35:59,279
Speaker 1: like outing myself. It sound like the worst mom ever.

702
00:35:59,760 --> 00:36:02,759
Speaker 1: You're no, you're being real, and I appreciate because yeah,

703
00:36:02,760 --> 00:36:07,000
Speaker 1: it's like sound like me and every other mom. I mean,

704
00:36:07,040 --> 00:36:09,440
Speaker 1: I would argue that is the most common reason we

705
00:36:09,520 --> 00:36:12,279
Speaker 1: lose it with our kids. Sometimes it's because they've done

706
00:36:12,280 --> 00:36:14,840
Speaker 1: something so ethically annoying or problematic that we have no

707
00:36:14,920 --> 00:36:17,880
Speaker 1: coping skills left. But more often than not, it's because

708
00:36:18,000 --> 00:36:21,799
Speaker 1: we're exhausted, we're pistol our parenting partners, some other mom

709
00:36:21,800 --> 00:36:24,279
Speaker 1: on the playground, some made some weird, snarky comment and

710
00:36:24,320 --> 00:36:26,600
Speaker 1: we can't stop thinking about it. We heard something horrible

711
00:36:26,600 --> 00:36:29,520
Speaker 1: on the news, which hello, that's constant these days. So

712
00:36:29,560 --> 00:36:32,440
Speaker 1: we're triggered and we have literally nothing left. Yeah, I'm

713
00:36:32,480 --> 00:36:34,640
Speaker 1: more annoyed with the adult children in my life than

714
00:36:34,680 --> 00:36:39,799
Speaker 1: I am the children children in my life, so our

715
00:36:39,840 --> 00:36:42,200
Speaker 1: buttons are huge and bright and red and super sensitive.

716
00:36:42,200 --> 00:36:44,120
Speaker 1: And sometimes my buttons get so big that my kid

717
00:36:44,160 --> 00:36:46,880
Speaker 1: even walks in the room and I'm like, get out.

718
00:36:49,000 --> 00:36:51,759
Speaker 1: And so you know, our job in that case is

719
00:36:51,840 --> 00:36:53,920
Speaker 1: to be the grown up to notice that we are

720
00:36:53,960 --> 00:36:57,280
Speaker 1: triggered like crazy. And then we've got a few options.

721
00:36:57,320 --> 00:36:59,200
Speaker 1: You can say to your kid, I'm having a really

722
00:36:59,239 --> 00:37:01,719
Speaker 1: hard day, like, let's try to be a team and

723
00:37:01,760 --> 00:37:03,480
Speaker 1: work together and just take it easy on each other

724
00:37:03,520 --> 00:37:04,960
Speaker 1: because I don't have a lot of like, I don't

725
00:37:05,000 --> 00:37:06,799
Speaker 1: have a lot of energy left. And obviously you change

726
00:37:06,840 --> 00:37:09,040
Speaker 1: the language depending on how old they kid is. And

727
00:37:09,120 --> 00:37:11,640
Speaker 1: some things we get home and I'm like, yay, tonight

728
00:37:11,719 --> 00:37:13,879
Speaker 1: is special eating dinner in front of the TV night

729
00:37:13,920 --> 00:37:16,600
Speaker 1: because mom got nothing left to give you. And so

730
00:37:16,760 --> 00:37:18,719
Speaker 1: I say those nights for mac and cheese in front

731
00:37:18,719 --> 00:37:20,600
Speaker 1: of the TV for when I need them, not to

732
00:37:20,680 --> 00:37:22,400
Speaker 1: when the kids meet them, but when I'm like, I

733
00:37:22,480 --> 00:37:25,000
Speaker 1: literally need you to not engage with me because I'm

734
00:37:25,040 --> 00:37:29,080
Speaker 1: so wiped out. And that's that's just being honest about

735
00:37:29,120 --> 00:37:31,719
Speaker 1: what I have in that moment, right and so, and

736
00:37:31,760 --> 00:37:34,160
Speaker 1: they think it's amazing. They think it's like a party. Meanwhile,

737
00:37:34,200 --> 00:37:36,919
Speaker 1: I'm stewing and like plotting my husband's death. But you're

738
00:37:37,000 --> 00:37:39,960
Speaker 1: like happily friends over here watching TV and it's great.

739
00:37:40,200 --> 00:37:43,080
Speaker 1: What's the problem? Eat your macaroni. I'm figuring out how

740
00:37:43,080 --> 00:37:45,040
Speaker 1: to hide up, how how to hide the body? I

741
00:37:45,120 --> 00:37:51,360
Speaker 1: love you? There you go. Yeah, But I guess that

742
00:37:51,480 --> 00:37:54,520
Speaker 1: leads to the you know, the grand old point right there.

743
00:37:54,520 --> 00:37:57,040
Speaker 1: I mean, that's most of it is because of you know,

744
00:37:57,120 --> 00:38:00,000
Speaker 1: the something's bothering you from work or your spouse or

745
00:38:00,560 --> 00:38:02,839
Speaker 1: and I feel bad that our kids take the brunt

746
00:38:02,880 --> 00:38:05,440
Speaker 1: of of that. I really think the most important thing

747
00:38:05,560 --> 00:38:07,440
Speaker 1: is having that conversation. I can't tell you how many

748
00:38:07,440 --> 00:38:11,240
Speaker 1: times I've lost my and then gone back and apologized

749
00:38:11,320 --> 00:38:14,200
Speaker 1: when I'm calm, like she said, had the conversation, and

750
00:38:14,239 --> 00:38:16,680
Speaker 1: they're like, it's okay, mommy, like you know, and just explain.

751
00:38:16,760 --> 00:38:18,720
Speaker 1: I do that at night too. I'm like, I am tired.

752
00:38:19,480 --> 00:38:21,680
Speaker 1: I need you to go to sleep because I am

753
00:38:21,719 --> 00:38:24,719
Speaker 1: really tired, and I'm about I do all of those things,

754
00:38:24,840 --> 00:38:26,799
Speaker 1: and it makes a huge difference, especially as they get

755
00:38:26,800 --> 00:38:29,640
Speaker 1: older they can understand it. It helps a lot and

756
00:38:29,760 --> 00:38:31,919
Speaker 1: just notice things that we're about to lose it because

757
00:38:31,920 --> 00:38:34,040
Speaker 1: a lot of us walk around triggered like crazy all

758
00:38:34,120 --> 00:38:36,000
Speaker 1: day long. Our shoulders are up by our ears, were

759
00:38:36,040 --> 00:38:37,960
Speaker 1: taking these deep breaths, you know, we're having these piste

760
00:38:38,000 --> 00:38:40,920
Speaker 1: off thoughts in our mind and we don't even notice it.

761
00:38:41,400 --> 00:38:43,359
Speaker 1: And so when you can start to realize, oh, I'm

762
00:38:43,360 --> 00:38:45,439
Speaker 1: in a not great place right now, and I need

763
00:38:45,480 --> 00:38:48,399
Speaker 1: to take ten deep breaths to go for walk around

764
00:38:48,400 --> 00:38:51,000
Speaker 1: the block, or sit and just drop my shoulders or

765
00:38:51,040 --> 00:38:53,919
Speaker 1: whatever it is to kind of calm down. That makes

766
00:38:53,920 --> 00:38:56,960
Speaker 1: a huge difference. Chris, and what we're you gonna say,

767
00:38:57,000 --> 00:38:59,920
Speaker 1: I was gonna say, for a bedtime for us NAPTI

768
00:39:00,000 --> 00:39:04,040
Speaker 1: in bedtime, we're failing miserably at bedtime or we're super succeeding,

769
00:39:04,080 --> 00:39:07,680
Speaker 1: depending on how granola you are. I'm either the co

770
00:39:07,880 --> 00:39:11,080
Speaker 1: sleep champion or I'm like them in your own bed

771
00:39:11,440 --> 00:39:15,040
Speaker 1: like failure. So um, but like for naptime, she doesn't

772
00:39:15,080 --> 00:39:17,080
Speaker 1: like to she doesn't like to lay down, and she's

773
00:39:17,200 --> 00:39:19,719
Speaker 1: she's about to be four on Sunday and I can't

774
00:39:19,760 --> 00:39:23,080
Speaker 1: even say that barely without crying. So um, I just

775
00:39:23,120 --> 00:39:25,640
Speaker 1: now tell her if she's awake in five minutes, she

776
00:39:25,680 --> 00:39:27,400
Speaker 1: can get back up and watch TV because I know

777
00:39:27,480 --> 00:39:28,680
Speaker 1: she's not going to do it. She also doesn't know

778
00:39:28,719 --> 00:39:30,520
Speaker 1: what five minutes is, so it's awesome because she'd be like,

779
00:39:30,880 --> 00:39:32,960
Speaker 1: is it five minutes yet? And I'm like, nope, you

780
00:39:32,960 --> 00:39:34,880
Speaker 1: gotta close your eyes. If you're still awake in five minutes,

781
00:39:34,880 --> 00:39:36,799
Speaker 1: then we can watch TV. And then that she just

782
00:39:36,840 --> 00:39:41,480
Speaker 1: never makes it. They're exhausted, so they don't know yet.

783
00:39:41,719 --> 00:39:44,400
Speaker 1: Take advantage friends. We haven't educated them on the power

784
00:39:44,440 --> 00:39:48,359
Speaker 1: of a minute. You have a baby, so it's like,

785
00:39:48,840 --> 00:39:51,560
Speaker 1: what's your any questions for Carla? The fact that you know,

786
00:39:51,719 --> 00:39:55,080
Speaker 1: have you lost your stuff on your sweet innocent little baby?

787
00:39:55,200 --> 00:39:57,839
Speaker 1: You're sweet little baby? Does I think I take all

788
00:39:57,840 --> 00:40:01,280
Speaker 1: my baby frustration out of my husband. Nfortunately, just because

789
00:40:01,640 --> 00:40:05,000
Speaker 1: you can't really talk to and to two month old

790
00:40:04,600 --> 00:40:07,719
Speaker 1: Ayah and be like, why are you crying? Although we

791
00:40:07,960 --> 00:40:12,399
Speaker 1: have actually yeah, like I don't know what you want.

792
00:40:12,520 --> 00:40:13,920
Speaker 1: I don't know what you need for me. I need

793
00:40:13,960 --> 00:40:16,480
Speaker 1: you to stop crying. I'm gonna go take it out

794
00:40:16,480 --> 00:40:19,799
Speaker 1: to my husband now, and then I'm gonna find my

795
00:40:19,840 --> 00:40:23,680
Speaker 1: husband argue with him for no reason whatsoever. YEA sounds

796
00:40:23,719 --> 00:40:26,000
Speaker 1: about sounds about the game, right, Carla? About four or

797
00:40:26,040 --> 00:40:29,640
Speaker 1: four Carla what's the one thing that you wish that

798
00:40:29,680 --> 00:40:31,920
Speaker 1: you would have known, you know from the very beginning

799
00:40:32,000 --> 00:40:35,600
Speaker 1: with your parenting style, and um, just yeah, something that

800
00:40:35,640 --> 00:40:38,720
Speaker 1: would have just kept you a little peaceful with this journey.

801
00:40:39,280 --> 00:40:41,400
Speaker 1: I wish I had understood that for me and for

802
00:40:41,440 --> 00:40:45,200
Speaker 1: almost everyone's, sleep is non negotiable and when you're not sleeping,

803
00:40:45,800 --> 00:40:48,200
Speaker 1: you cannot parent well and you have to cut yourself

804
00:40:48,239 --> 00:40:53,120
Speaker 1: a whole lot of slack. I was, you can't do anything.

805
00:40:53,160 --> 00:40:54,560
Speaker 1: And I was losing my shop with my husband. I

806
00:40:54,560 --> 00:40:57,000
Speaker 1: was losing my shop with myself. I was. I mean,

807
00:40:57,040 --> 00:40:59,399
Speaker 1: it was a mess. My anxiety exploded. It was all

808
00:40:59,440 --> 00:41:01,560
Speaker 1: because I was sleeping. But I thought I had to

809
00:41:01,560 --> 00:41:04,520
Speaker 1: be some like super mom and power through. And really,

810
00:41:04,520 --> 00:41:06,239
Speaker 1: what I should have been saying to myself is this

811
00:41:06,320 --> 00:41:09,400
Speaker 1: is a stage. We'll get through it. And like today,

812
00:41:09,480 --> 00:41:11,520
Speaker 1: my goal is to get like, keep my kid alive,

813
00:41:11,640 --> 00:41:13,640
Speaker 1: keep my help alive, and get through with the bare

814
00:41:13,680 --> 00:41:16,520
Speaker 1: minimum of what needs to happen. Carla, where can our

815
00:41:16,560 --> 00:41:19,319
Speaker 1: listeners find you? So? Um? The book is called How

816
00:41:19,360 --> 00:41:21,799
Speaker 1: to Stop Losing your with your Kids. It's available at

817
00:41:21,800 --> 00:41:25,520
Speaker 1: their local independent bookstore, on Amazon where the books are sold,

818
00:41:25,680 --> 00:41:30,640
Speaker 1: and on my website. Is Carla Namberg dot com. Yay um, Carla,

819
00:41:30,680 --> 00:41:32,120
Speaker 1: thank you so much for talking to us moms who

820
00:41:32,160 --> 00:41:34,680
Speaker 1: really appreciate it. And I feel like we just need

821
00:41:34,719 --> 00:41:36,640
Speaker 1: to all mamas out there and need to give yourself

822
00:41:36,640 --> 00:41:38,319
Speaker 1: a little bit of grace because we're doing just the

823
00:41:38,320 --> 00:41:43,640
Speaker 1: best that we can. Amen. Amen, from the depths of

824
00:41:43,680 --> 00:41:57,000
Speaker 1: my soul. Thank you, Carla, Thanks a lot. Bye. I

825
00:41:57,120 --> 00:41:59,880
Speaker 1: got a couple of emails. I wanna get y'all's input.

826
00:42:00,480 --> 00:42:07,320
Speaker 1: Okay from anonymous overly friendly neighbor? Wait what from anonymous? Oh?

827
00:42:07,360 --> 00:42:12,960
Speaker 1: Okay from anonymous about an overly friendly neighbor. Interesting, Christen,

828
00:42:12,960 --> 00:42:16,120
Speaker 1: did you write this? No, you would have had clarity

829
00:42:16,120 --> 00:42:19,759
Speaker 1: on the first sentence. So we moved into a new

830
00:42:19,760 --> 00:42:22,280
Speaker 1: neighborhood and we're having a few cocktails with the neighbor.

831
00:42:22,480 --> 00:42:25,720
Speaker 1: Her husband was at work. She out of the blue

832
00:42:25,760 --> 00:42:30,799
Speaker 1: asked my husband what what? I'm sorry, She out of

833
00:42:30,800 --> 00:42:35,160
Speaker 1: the blue asked my husband what kind of underwear he wears?

834
00:42:35,640 --> 00:42:38,200
Speaker 1: Then she looked him up and found what high school

835
00:42:38,239 --> 00:42:41,840
Speaker 1: he went to and that he has a football record.

836
00:42:41,920 --> 00:42:44,160
Speaker 1: So now I have no interest in the girl, and

837
00:42:44,200 --> 00:42:47,200
Speaker 1: my husband thinks I'm being ridiculous. I don't trust her.

838
00:42:47,239 --> 00:42:49,520
Speaker 1: I trust my husband, but I can't be friends with her?

839
00:42:49,680 --> 00:42:58,239
Speaker 1: Do you agree? Strong agree? Yeah? Why that's weird. That's

840
00:42:58,280 --> 00:43:01,120
Speaker 1: a that's an aggressive like, that's weird question. It's nice

841
00:43:01,160 --> 00:43:05,960
Speaker 1: to meet you guys, Tidy whiteis or boxers? Yeah, I

842
00:43:05,960 --> 00:43:10,040
Speaker 1: mean if overly friendly, it's her putting it nicely. I

843
00:43:10,040 --> 00:43:14,520
Speaker 1: would have been like from anonymous, bitches crazy, you know

844
00:43:14,520 --> 00:43:17,920
Speaker 1: what I mean? Like, honestly, can you imagine looking up

845
00:43:17,960 --> 00:43:19,960
Speaker 1: what high school? It's not like she's saying her husband

846
00:43:19,960 --> 00:43:22,000
Speaker 1: played in the NFL or something and it's like, oh, well,

847
00:43:22,000 --> 00:43:24,560
Speaker 1: that's interesting. Let's see where I mean in high school? Yeah,

848
00:43:25,000 --> 00:43:28,400
Speaker 1: that's like faceboo this person. I just think it'd be

849
00:43:28,400 --> 00:43:32,160
Speaker 1: really weird if I went up to even Nick. I've

850
00:43:32,160 --> 00:43:34,759
Speaker 1: known Nick for how many years? Your husband, Catherine? I mean,

851
00:43:34,800 --> 00:43:37,359
Speaker 1: I would be like if I asked Nick what kind

852
00:43:37,400 --> 00:43:41,399
Speaker 1: of underwear he wears? And that's just so, and your

853
00:43:41,480 --> 00:43:44,120
Speaker 1: to your point is your high school team. It's just

854
00:43:44,160 --> 00:43:46,520
Speaker 1: like your high school. And she looked him up and

855
00:43:46,520 --> 00:43:48,480
Speaker 1: found what high school he went to and that he

856
00:43:48,520 --> 00:43:50,680
Speaker 1: has a football record. So now I have no interest

857
00:43:50,719 --> 00:43:52,480
Speaker 1: in the girl. And my husband thinks I'm being ridiculous.

858
00:43:52,520 --> 00:43:58,120
Speaker 1: I don't like that. Yeah, I don't. Why don't? Well,

859
00:43:58,160 --> 00:44:01,160
Speaker 1: and he probably loves the attemp doesn't think it's a

860
00:44:01,200 --> 00:44:05,239
Speaker 1: big deal. But but I hope he knows that, like,

861
00:44:05,400 --> 00:44:08,080
Speaker 1: that's weird, but it's also flattering for him. I wonder

862
00:44:08,120 --> 00:44:09,959
Speaker 1: if the rules were reversed and it was a guy

863
00:44:10,000 --> 00:44:14,839
Speaker 1: neighbor looking at her high school and and asking her

864
00:44:14,840 --> 00:44:16,799
Speaker 1: what kind of bra she wears, would he feel that way?

865
00:44:16,880 --> 00:44:20,880
Speaker 1: Probably not flip it. You should do that, bitches crazy,

866
00:44:22,520 --> 00:44:25,160
Speaker 1: So let's just not invite that neighbor over next time. Okay?

867
00:44:25,360 --> 00:44:28,840
Speaker 1: From Anonymous husbands and social media. I am married and

868
00:44:28,880 --> 00:44:30,880
Speaker 1: have been for a little over a year. My husband

869
00:44:30,880 --> 00:44:32,719
Speaker 1: and I were best friends for two years and then

870
00:44:32,800 --> 00:44:36,360
Speaker 1: dated for three before getting married. Knowing my husband for

871
00:44:36,360 --> 00:44:38,319
Speaker 1: so long, I knew every girl he had been with.

872
00:44:38,480 --> 00:44:40,920
Speaker 1: Everything was going fine until I noticed he was still

873
00:44:41,000 --> 00:44:44,600
Speaker 1: talking to his previous hook up friend. I talked about

874
00:44:44,600 --> 00:44:46,640
Speaker 1: it with him and he stopped from there, though I

875
00:44:46,680 --> 00:44:49,440
Speaker 1: was very suspicious because I had been due before. He

876
00:44:49,520 --> 00:44:51,640
Speaker 1: worked at a big city hospital during this time, and

877
00:44:51,640 --> 00:44:53,640
Speaker 1: I noticed that he filed a lot of his coworkers

878
00:44:53,640 --> 00:44:56,200
Speaker 1: and coworkers on social media. I didn't think it was

879
00:44:56,239 --> 00:44:58,600
Speaker 1: strange until I noticed that a lot of these coworkers

880
00:44:58,600 --> 00:45:02,080
Speaker 1: were nurses and that they tended to post certain posts

881
00:45:02,120 --> 00:45:04,520
Speaker 1: I was uncomfortable with. He also had these people on

882
00:45:04,560 --> 00:45:08,160
Speaker 1: Snapchat and still had his excess on his social media

883
00:45:08,200 --> 00:45:11,560
Speaker 1: as well. Eventually he just deleted social media social media

884
00:45:11,600 --> 00:45:14,439
Speaker 1: altogether because he would get so defensive when I brought

885
00:45:14,440 --> 00:45:17,480
Speaker 1: it up. What are your thoughts on this? Up to?

886
00:45:17,520 --> 00:45:26,680
Speaker 1: No good? Strong dislike social media sucks, whether it's innocent

887
00:45:26,800 --> 00:45:30,879
Speaker 1: or not. People blur lines every single day, every single day.

888
00:45:31,239 --> 00:45:35,279
Speaker 1: People are flirts by nature, and social media exaggerates it,

889
00:45:35,560 --> 00:45:38,160
Speaker 1: and there's no easy way to paint a black or

890
00:45:38,200 --> 00:45:41,640
Speaker 1: white line, so it makes it really complicated. And there's

891
00:45:41,680 --> 00:45:45,000
Speaker 1: no reason he should know what any if you went objective,

892
00:45:46,000 --> 00:45:47,840
Speaker 1: say there is no social media, he wouldn't know what

893
00:45:47,840 --> 00:45:50,680
Speaker 1: those nurses are doing on their downtime. So I don't

894
00:45:50,680 --> 00:45:53,359
Speaker 1: like the accessibility of knowing what they're up to. And

895
00:45:54,080 --> 00:45:58,480
Speaker 1: just in our marriage, what works for us. Please don't

896
00:45:58,480 --> 00:46:02,719
Speaker 1: write to Joanna. Um, it's just no girls. There's just

897
00:46:02,800 --> 00:46:06,720
Speaker 1: no girls. It can't it doesn't work. Well. It's Preston

898
00:46:06,800 --> 00:46:08,640
Speaker 1: told me when we met, guys and girls can't be friends.

899
00:46:08,760 --> 00:46:10,160
Speaker 1: And at first I was like, no way, and then

900
00:46:10,200 --> 00:46:11,640
Speaker 1: I started thinking about it, and he was like, to

901
00:46:11,719 --> 00:46:13,520
Speaker 1: name a guy friend you have that wouldn't make out

902
00:46:13,520 --> 00:46:15,640
Speaker 1: with you have given the choice, And I was like,

903
00:46:15,719 --> 00:46:19,359
Speaker 1: I yike. You know my husband said the same thing.

904
00:46:19,520 --> 00:46:21,959
Speaker 1: Girls and guys can't be friends. I mean I don't,

905
00:46:22,000 --> 00:46:24,640
Speaker 1: but I also just at this point have no interest

906
00:46:24,760 --> 00:46:28,920
Speaker 1: in wanting to engage with another dude period. I mean,

907
00:46:28,960 --> 00:46:31,640
Speaker 1: everything is very respectful, Like I don't. I don't have

908
00:46:31,719 --> 00:46:34,120
Speaker 1: Mike's number, I don't want Mike's number. I don't have

909
00:46:34,239 --> 00:46:36,800
Speaker 1: Nick's number. I didn't even save Preston's number under Preston

910
00:46:36,880 --> 00:46:39,000
Speaker 1: like when he had texted about your surprise party, Like

911
00:46:39,160 --> 00:46:42,799
Speaker 1: I don't, I don't. I don't know Andrew on there

912
00:46:43,200 --> 00:46:45,160
Speaker 1: just because he's like a brother to me. Yeah, but

913
00:46:45,160 --> 00:46:48,279
Speaker 1: I'm saying like I don't, but I wouldn't be even

914
00:46:48,320 --> 00:46:50,400
Speaker 1: in the inside jokes that we have from like our

915
00:46:50,440 --> 00:46:52,719
Speaker 1: game nights and stuff. I just text you guys about it,

916
00:46:52,800 --> 00:46:55,480
Speaker 1: you know, and just assume that you tell your husband's

917
00:46:55,480 --> 00:46:58,000
Speaker 1: like I don't, I don't know. Just my question though

918
00:46:58,000 --> 00:47:00,480
Speaker 1: about that, what're gonna say with social media too, it

919
00:47:00,560 --> 00:47:03,239
Speaker 1: takes away any of the guestswork, So like if you

920
00:47:03,280 --> 00:47:06,000
Speaker 1: follow any of your co workers on social media, you

921
00:47:06,080 --> 00:47:07,960
Speaker 1: go into work the next day knowing what they did

922
00:47:07,960 --> 00:47:10,879
Speaker 1: that night, what they drank, what they ate usually because

923
00:47:10,920 --> 00:47:15,000
Speaker 1: people always take a picture of it. I shake basic, Yes, exactly.

924
00:47:15,200 --> 00:47:17,399
Speaker 1: It takes away like the first couple of dates. I mean,

925
00:47:17,480 --> 00:47:19,520
Speaker 1: to be honest, it's it's like you've already gone on

926
00:47:19,560 --> 00:47:21,879
Speaker 1: a first date with someone, so you already know them

927
00:47:21,920 --> 00:47:26,040
Speaker 1: more than you should. It makes it really complicated. So

928
00:47:26,080 --> 00:47:28,480
Speaker 1: here's my question, because my husband isn't on social media,

929
00:47:28,880 --> 00:47:34,640
Speaker 1: because all of your husbands are, So do you do

930
00:47:34,680 --> 00:47:38,640
Speaker 1: you patrol or do you like? What if and Andrew

931
00:47:38,680 --> 00:47:44,920
Speaker 1: follows me? Does he now if you what if you

932
00:47:44,960 --> 00:47:48,520
Speaker 1: saw your husband? What if Nick's following a Victoria's Secret model?

933
00:47:48,640 --> 00:47:51,120
Speaker 1: What if Andrew is following a pretty girl? Like what

934
00:47:51,160 --> 00:47:53,800
Speaker 1: if Preston is following? You know? So it's like, what

935
00:47:53,800 --> 00:47:55,200
Speaker 1: what do you do that? Do you say? Can you

936
00:47:55,239 --> 00:47:57,600
Speaker 1: please and follow? Because that makes me uncomfortable? Or I know,

937
00:47:57,680 --> 00:47:59,120
Speaker 1: I mean, I know how it would makes me feel.

938
00:47:59,760 --> 00:48:02,840
Speaker 1: But also you know, luckily he's not on social media.

939
00:48:03,040 --> 00:48:05,600
Speaker 1: But still, I mean, I think it's safe to ask

940
00:48:05,680 --> 00:48:08,120
Speaker 1: that at any point. I think everyone has the right

941
00:48:08,200 --> 00:48:10,239
Speaker 1: to ask that if it makes them uncomfortable. I mean,

942
00:48:10,719 --> 00:48:14,279
Speaker 1: Nick does follow women on social media and he has

943
00:48:14,320 --> 00:48:17,200
Speaker 1: clients that are women, and I just but what if

944
00:48:17,200 --> 00:48:21,000
Speaker 1: they're like, fortunately, like bikini shots and stuff. I mean,

945
00:48:21,040 --> 00:48:23,800
Speaker 1: I haven't looked, but yeah, I would definitely say something

946
00:48:23,840 --> 00:48:27,080
Speaker 1: and say uncomfortable with it. I guess. I mean, I'm

947
00:48:27,160 --> 00:48:30,799
Speaker 1: my well you, I think you could ask anyone. I

948
00:48:30,800 --> 00:48:33,320
Speaker 1: think you could ask your significant other to and follow anyone.

949
00:48:33,600 --> 00:48:37,880
Speaker 1: But social media is not. I mean you can't censor it.

950
00:48:38,640 --> 00:48:42,239
Speaker 1: So whether you follow them or not, it's still accessible.

951
00:48:42,920 --> 00:48:46,440
Speaker 1: And does that I feel like it's just the world

952
00:48:46,440 --> 00:48:49,680
Speaker 1: we live in unfortunately, because if you go to a

953
00:48:49,760 --> 00:48:53,840
Speaker 1: bar without social media, someone's probably going to put moves

954
00:48:54,040 --> 00:48:56,800
Speaker 1: on your husband. It's going to happen, and vice versa.

955
00:48:57,280 --> 00:49:01,879
Speaker 1: That's just life and was social media, it's exaggerated. People

956
00:49:01,880 --> 00:49:04,480
Speaker 1: can do it every day in any way, shape or form,

957
00:49:04,520 --> 00:49:07,960
Speaker 1: whether it's intended or not. Just by posting a bikini shot,

958
00:49:08,000 --> 00:49:11,239
Speaker 1: they're basically putting a move on on everyone in the world.

959
00:49:11,880 --> 00:49:15,360
Speaker 1: And it's just your choice every single day to say, Okay,

960
00:49:15,400 --> 00:49:18,560
Speaker 1: you know what, you're going to see it. You're going

961
00:49:18,640 --> 00:49:20,600
Speaker 1: to have thoughts about it, just because it's the world

962
00:49:20,640 --> 00:49:22,279
Speaker 1: we live in. But at the end, of the day,

963
00:49:22,360 --> 00:49:25,680
Speaker 1: you have to make your choice of being integrity having

964
00:49:26,560 --> 00:49:29,239
Speaker 1: exactly like that. That's very well said. I mean, because

965
00:49:29,239 --> 00:49:31,400
Speaker 1: how many times on a daily basis are we seeing

966
00:49:31,440 --> 00:49:33,440
Speaker 1: something that our husband probably doesn't want us to be

967
00:49:33,480 --> 00:49:36,399
Speaker 1: looking at, whether it's a shortless sky or that's the thing,

968
00:49:36,440 --> 00:49:38,480
Speaker 1: I don't even intentionally look at it like I was.

969
00:49:38,560 --> 00:49:40,200
Speaker 1: I was just scrolling through. And I know exactly we're

970
00:49:40,200 --> 00:49:41,600
Speaker 1: talking about because on Instagram the other day, I was

971
00:49:41,640 --> 00:49:43,440
Speaker 1: just scrolling through and like I saw, like Tyler Cameron.

972
00:49:43,520 --> 00:49:46,480
Speaker 1: Yes he is a very attractive man, but I didn't

973
00:49:46,480 --> 00:49:48,520
Speaker 1: even like I have no, I don't want to look

974
00:49:48,560 --> 00:49:52,080
Speaker 1: at it. But that's the difference, because we're also annoyed

975
00:49:52,120 --> 00:49:55,160
Speaker 1: by many that were like I'm not spending my free

976
00:49:55,160 --> 00:49:57,800
Speaker 1: time looking at the differences. Is you still saw it,

977
00:49:58,120 --> 00:50:02,440
Speaker 1: but I did not mean with it. But you don't

978
00:50:02,480 --> 00:50:05,080
Speaker 1: know if he thought further about it, or if he

979
00:50:05,080 --> 00:50:08,520
Speaker 1: didn't think as I say, as women though are natural

980
00:50:08,560 --> 00:50:10,960
Speaker 1: instinct would be like you did think something about it,

981
00:50:11,120 --> 00:50:15,560
Speaker 1: even though and maybe they scrolled by it and stopped

982
00:50:15,560 --> 00:50:18,040
Speaker 1: for a second but kept going. We're going to say, oh,

983
00:50:18,120 --> 00:50:21,600
Speaker 1: but you stopped, whether you like I thought it was

984
00:50:21,640 --> 00:50:24,840
Speaker 1: something else, it's just how we're wired, and it's just

985
00:50:24,880 --> 00:50:27,080
Speaker 1: that active choice every day to be like, you know what,

986
00:50:28,080 --> 00:50:31,480
Speaker 1: he's choosing me. He's at home and I have to

987
00:50:31,520 --> 00:50:35,400
Speaker 1: trust him until something else happens and we'll take it

988
00:50:35,400 --> 00:50:38,680
Speaker 1: from there. It sucks. So if you ever do you

989
00:50:38,719 --> 00:50:44,040
Speaker 1: ever look to see? I tried. I'm a girl, of

990
00:50:44,080 --> 00:50:48,080
Speaker 1: course I look, But I honestly, every time I catch

991
00:50:48,120 --> 00:50:52,160
Speaker 1: myself getting within that vibe of I want to check

992
00:50:52,200 --> 00:50:54,000
Speaker 1: and I want to see and I want to patrol,

993
00:50:54,680 --> 00:50:56,759
Speaker 1: I try to get out of it as quickly as

994
00:50:56,800 --> 00:50:59,240
Speaker 1: possible because that's just a spiral waiting to happen. If

995
00:50:59,360 --> 00:51:00,920
Speaker 1: at the end of the day have to just trust.

996
00:51:00,960 --> 00:51:03,040
Speaker 1: And I know people always say, you know that's like

997
00:51:03,120 --> 00:51:05,040
Speaker 1: je sic your worst problem. It's like no, but it's

998
00:51:05,040 --> 00:51:08,960
Speaker 1: like trust problem. It's everyone. It's yeah, everyone has a

999
00:51:09,000 --> 00:51:12,280
Speaker 1: hard time trusting. I think that's just again because of society.

1000
00:51:12,480 --> 00:51:15,360
Speaker 1: It's hard to so you question things a lot, but

1001
00:51:15,600 --> 00:51:19,040
Speaker 1: the trust is still, you know, it's just hard. I

1002
00:51:19,080 --> 00:51:23,160
Speaker 1: remember a girl posted one time, um being on the

1003
00:51:23,200 --> 00:51:26,759
Speaker 1: bus with Preston not like in the front lounge. So

1004
00:51:26,800 --> 00:51:28,800
Speaker 1: if you're a music person, you know, like front lounge

1005
00:51:28,800 --> 00:51:30,759
Speaker 1: just kind of like living room, you know, and it's

1006
00:51:30,800 --> 00:51:33,279
Speaker 1: not anything like they were like taking a selfie in

1007
00:51:33,280 --> 00:51:36,920
Speaker 1: a bunk, because I would murder. But it was like I,

1008
00:51:37,880 --> 00:51:40,640
Speaker 1: you know I did in my twenties, like just like

1009
00:51:40,920 --> 00:51:45,080
Speaker 1: selfies just didn't care like I was just like I

1010
00:51:45,120 --> 00:51:47,560
Speaker 1: was the worst. Anyways, continued, but I did say to him,

1011
00:51:47,680 --> 00:51:50,839
Speaker 1: I mean it was okay. So she takes this picture, right,

1012
00:51:50,840 --> 00:51:53,920
Speaker 1: she was like a singer opening up for them or something.

1013
00:51:54,000 --> 00:51:57,360
Speaker 1: And and the guys are genuinely nice guys. They're not creepy,

1014
00:51:57,560 --> 00:51:59,440
Speaker 1: they're just they are good guys. And they invited her

1015
00:51:59,440 --> 00:52:01,440
Speaker 1: to come on with her dad and they all talked

1016
00:52:01,480 --> 00:52:03,480
Speaker 1: and hung out. But I didn't see the dad, right,

1017
00:52:04,160 --> 00:52:06,600
Speaker 1: I didn't know she was on the bus um. And

1018
00:52:06,600 --> 00:52:09,480
Speaker 1: so I see this picture and she's like, oh my gosh,

1019
00:52:09,560 --> 00:52:12,200
Speaker 1: the best guys ever had so much fun partying with you.

1020
00:52:12,480 --> 00:52:17,040
Speaker 1: So instantly I'm like, who is she? When was this?

1021
00:52:17,200 --> 00:52:20,320
Speaker 1: Why didn't you tell me how much partying? There's so

1022
00:52:20,400 --> 00:52:22,880
Speaker 1: many pieces missing of it that it's so misleading. And

1023
00:52:22,920 --> 00:52:25,560
Speaker 1: that's when you're like, this isn't like that's that's where

1024
00:52:26,280 --> 00:52:31,319
Speaker 1: the trust too. That's the thing that information first that

1025
00:52:32,560 --> 00:52:36,680
Speaker 1: he's going her dad was with her and this other dude.

1026
00:52:37,280 --> 00:52:39,239
Speaker 1: So when I brought it up to him, this is

1027
00:52:39,280 --> 00:52:41,399
Speaker 1: I just need to like sing his praises because there's

1028
00:52:41,400 --> 00:52:45,040
Speaker 1: a lot of times where I don't, admittedly, but he like,

1029
00:52:45,080 --> 00:52:48,520
Speaker 1: there's a no chick on the bus policy. Now that's

1030
00:52:48,560 --> 00:52:50,799
Speaker 1: just that because he's like, okay, well, and I said

1031
00:52:50,840 --> 00:52:52,400
Speaker 1: to him, I was like, if I'm feeling that way

1032
00:52:52,440 --> 00:52:54,000
Speaker 1: and I can get to the bottom of it, like,

1033
00:52:54,160 --> 00:52:58,000
Speaker 1: what does it look like? The perception is your party, guys,

1034
00:52:58,040 --> 00:52:59,399
Speaker 1: and a girl can be on your bus, and that's

1035
00:52:59,560 --> 00:53:02,719
Speaker 1: a lot of girls. They're doing that for that reaction,

1036
00:53:02,920 --> 00:53:05,279
Speaker 1: of course, I mean, that's what they're doing. They want

1037
00:53:05,280 --> 00:53:07,280
Speaker 1: the reaction of oh my god, you partied with them,

1038
00:53:07,320 --> 00:53:11,120
Speaker 1: you know, And that's why it's just easier to just know. Well,

1039
00:53:11,200 --> 00:53:15,160
Speaker 1: which kind of goes into this last email um from Anonymous.

1040
00:53:15,239 --> 00:53:18,680
Speaker 1: His love triggers me trust has been broken in our marriage.

1041
00:53:19,719 --> 00:53:21,799
Speaker 1: I think that's just that line is like right there

1042
00:53:21,920 --> 00:53:23,720
Speaker 1: made me want to cry a little bit. We haven't

1043
00:53:23,760 --> 00:53:26,040
Speaker 1: been to therapy yet, hope to, but has not been

1044
00:53:26,080 --> 00:53:28,880
Speaker 1: a priority. We can't seem to move forward in rebuilding,

1045
00:53:28,880 --> 00:53:30,440
Speaker 1: and I'm afraid it will be the end of us.

1046
00:53:30,600 --> 00:53:33,239
Speaker 1: Not to say we don't both want to try. He's

1047
00:53:33,239 --> 00:53:36,200
Speaker 1: putting an effort by being transparent, but I am having

1048
00:53:36,200 --> 00:53:38,640
Speaker 1: a hard time with my part. How do you rebuild

1049
00:53:38,680 --> 00:53:43,080
Speaker 1: trust when even his love is a trigger? Every time

1050
00:53:43,120 --> 00:53:44,840
Speaker 1: he says he loves me, I'm reminded that if he

1051
00:53:44,880 --> 00:53:46,720
Speaker 1: loved me, he wouldn't have caused me so much pain.

1052
00:53:49,040 --> 00:53:53,920
Speaker 1: M hmm. For any of us qualified to answers, you

1053
00:53:53,960 --> 00:53:57,880
Speaker 1: need a PhD. That's what I've always been trying to

1054
00:53:58,040 --> 00:54:01,320
Speaker 1: like find though, because I a lot of people again,

1055
00:54:01,360 --> 00:54:03,360
Speaker 1: I always they're like, you just need to trust or

1056
00:54:03,600 --> 00:54:06,879
Speaker 1: or it's it's like it's so much that's not something

1057
00:54:06,880 --> 00:54:10,320
Speaker 1: to say to anyone because like even in your situation,

1058
00:54:10,400 --> 00:54:12,319
Speaker 1: like yes you trust Andrew, but you still might look

1059
00:54:12,760 --> 00:54:16,319
Speaker 1: absolutely its social media and things, and it's like, how

1060
00:54:16,360 --> 00:54:18,840
Speaker 1: do you rebild trust? I think it's just time. I

1061
00:54:18,880 --> 00:54:22,480
Speaker 1: think it's time to time and a lot of a

1062
00:54:22,560 --> 00:54:25,080
Speaker 1: lot of therapy, yes, a lot of proof and consistent,

1063
00:54:25,680 --> 00:54:29,640
Speaker 1: rigorous honesty. And I think that's the changes is like

1064
00:54:29,680 --> 00:54:32,440
Speaker 1: an absolute must. It's not just the time, it's action.

1065
00:54:32,560 --> 00:54:34,759
Speaker 1: For me, like I can, I don't need words. I

1066
00:54:34,760 --> 00:54:37,919
Speaker 1: grew up with a lot of like do as I say,

1067
00:54:37,960 --> 00:54:40,160
Speaker 1: not as I do. Kind of mentality in our house,

1068
00:54:40,280 --> 00:54:43,160
Speaker 1: parents wise, and so I have to zero interests and

1069
00:54:43,200 --> 00:54:45,520
Speaker 1: like hearing anyone talk about how they're going to be

1070
00:54:45,560 --> 00:54:48,279
Speaker 1: different and not do anything. Sure, well, I think the

1071
00:54:48,280 --> 00:54:51,279
Speaker 1: hard time. The hard thing too is like you know,

1072
00:54:51,320 --> 00:54:55,000
Speaker 1: even in the situation before, it's like you you give

1073
00:54:55,040 --> 00:54:58,239
Speaker 1: them trust, but then they lie. So it's like that

1074
00:54:58,360 --> 00:55:02,200
Speaker 1: situation just continues to make them not trustworthy because of

1075
00:55:02,239 --> 00:55:07,480
Speaker 1: like Katherine said, the consistency and being rigorously honest. So, um,

1076
00:55:07,520 --> 00:55:10,239
Speaker 1: there's something that UM I know has worked and we

1077
00:55:10,320 --> 00:55:13,840
Speaker 1: learned from therapy is the rule. So you have twenty

1078
00:55:13,840 --> 00:55:16,279
Speaker 1: four hours if you lie, to come back and say, hey,

1079
00:55:16,320 --> 00:55:18,560
Speaker 1: you know what I messed up. That was a lie

1080
00:55:18,600 --> 00:55:22,840
Speaker 1: And that shows change, That shows some honesty, that shows

1081
00:55:23,040 --> 00:55:25,240
Speaker 1: a little growth. But I would say get into therapy

1082
00:55:25,280 --> 00:55:27,000
Speaker 1: because it's worth it. I don't think you can do

1083
00:55:27,040 --> 00:55:29,520
Speaker 1: it without therapy. You can't. Just I don't think you can.

1084
00:55:29,560 --> 00:55:31,560
Speaker 1: It's too emotional. I don't think you can because I

1085
00:55:31,560 --> 00:55:34,080
Speaker 1: think you need a third party kind of calling people

1086
00:55:34,120 --> 00:55:37,040
Speaker 1: to the table and some accountability for some things, and

1087
00:55:37,080 --> 00:55:39,960
Speaker 1: I think you can't do that with each other. I

1088
00:55:40,000 --> 00:55:43,279
Speaker 1: just don't think you can. Are we all on the

1089
00:55:43,320 --> 00:55:49,800
Speaker 1: same page. Yeah agree, guys, good episode. Yeah right, you're amazing.

1090
00:55:49,800 --> 00:55:54,120
Speaker 1: We didn't get Shawn's big confession. Oh yeah again, bacteria

1091
00:55:54,160 --> 00:55:58,760
Speaker 1: filled milk. There you go. It wasn't that. Um girls,

1092
00:55:58,840 --> 00:56:02,200
Speaker 1: where can all the listeners and jew Christen At a

1093
00:56:02,239 --> 00:56:05,880
Speaker 1: little bit fancy to spell it out, not like a rapper?

1094
00:56:08,640 --> 00:56:15,240
Speaker 1: Um at? Shawn Johnson, Sean Johnson, nobody, Catherine just everyone

1095
00:56:15,280 --> 00:56:18,640
Speaker 1: knows Catherine, Katherine Woodard? Is it Katherine V. Woodard? I

1096
00:56:18,680 --> 00:56:21,480
Speaker 1: don't know. I love you girls, Thanks for hanging out

1097
00:56:21,480 --> 00:56:23,600
Speaker 1: with me. It's really cool that we had a really fun,

1098
00:56:23,680 --> 00:56:27,640
Speaker 1: like you know, girls, girls episode anytime. We've been talking

1099
00:56:27,640 --> 00:56:29,120
Speaker 1: about this for too long. It was time we did.

1100
00:56:29,280 --> 00:56:32,000
Speaker 1: It was time, um Stay tuned for next week.