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Speaker 1: This is John. This is your og Okay Storytime podcast hosts, and.

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Speaker 2: We have some rocking stories for you coming up. But

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Speaker 2: before you rock out with your socks out, I got

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Speaker 2: a quick tum in an ad break from a sponsors

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Speaker 2: keeping the show rocking and rolling.

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Speaker 3: My girlfriend is having an identity crisis and it's straining

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Speaker 3: our relationship.

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Speaker 1: She thinks she's all that, but she's not.

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Speaker 3: Me twenty eight male and Sarah twenty eight female met

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Speaker 3: in undergraduate school about ten years ago. Back then, we

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Speaker 3: weren't really friends, but the times I met her, I

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Speaker 3: always found her extremely attractive and super intelligent. After college,

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Speaker 3: I lost contact with her, although we were Facebook friends.

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Speaker 3: But two years ago, when I moved across the country

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Speaker 3: for business school, I found out she was finishing her

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Speaker 3: doctoral degree at the same university. So I contacted her

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Speaker 3: and as we were both single, we hit it off

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Speaker 3: and started dating soon after.

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Speaker 4: By the way this comes from It's been Bean and if.

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Speaker 3: You want to submit your own stories, go to the

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Speaker 3: r slash Okay Storytime Separate it.

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Speaker 5: So.

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Speaker 3: Sarah is originally from Iran. She immigrated to the States

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Speaker 3: when she was fifteen with her family. Because her family

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Speaker 3: belongs to a religion that is heavily persecuted there. Although

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Speaker 3: English is her second language, she speaks it like a

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Speaker 3: native and has no hint of a foreign accent. Sarah

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Speaker 3: is also naturally blonde, with fair skin and blue eyes.

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Speaker 3: Her features are extremely Northern European looking, except for her

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Speaker 3: thick eyebrows, full black eyelashes, and lips. Because of her

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Speaker 3: perfect American accent and her very blond and fair features,

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Speaker 3: nobody believes that she is Middle Eastern. When we first

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Speaker 3: started dating, she wasn't bothered by her European looks and

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Speaker 3: made jokes of it.

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Speaker 4: The rest of her.

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Speaker 3: Family aren't blonde, and some of them look typically Middle Eastern.

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Speaker 3: She never discussed race and ethnicity before and didn't react

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Speaker 3: when people didn't believe that she was from Iran.

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Speaker 4: However, six months ago, she went for.

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Speaker 3: A postdoctoral training in Europe, and when she came back

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Speaker 3: her attitude changed drastically. She kept complaining about white people

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Speaker 3: and how they try to wipe out the West from

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Speaker 3: people of color like her. She gets annoyed that Pele

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Speaker 3: refer to her as white because of her features. She

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Speaker 3: said that she's not white, and it annoys her when

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Speaker 3: people don't believe that she's Iranian. She keeps making jokes

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Speaker 3: about white people and typical white things people do, and

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Speaker 3: when I tell her it's ridiculous of her making those

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Speaker 3: jokes while she's as white as it comes, she gets

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Speaker 3: pissed and snaps at me. Now, aside from those comments,

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Speaker 3: I think she's going a bit crazy with this non

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Speaker 3: white identity thing, getting fed up with people assuming that

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Speaker 3: she's of European descent. She dyed her hair completely black,

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Speaker 3: put on dark contact lenses, and started using these tanning products,

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Speaker 3: which look completely awful. She also started using a fake

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Speaker 3: accent to sound more foreign. I find these behaviors completely

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Speaker 3: out of character. She's always been logical, intelligent, and never

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Speaker 3: acted like this before. She's almost thirty, and it seems

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Speaker 3: crazy to have this identity rebellion while not a teenager.

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Speaker 3: When I try to talk to her about the behavior,

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Speaker 3: she says that I'm just being typical white, high class

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Speaker 3: I don't know what to do. I'm just hoping it's

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Speaker 3: a phase and she'll return to normal. She's the most beautiful, intelligent,

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Speaker 3: and nicest girl I've met, and I'm afraid of this

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Speaker 3: behavior being a deal breaker. And there is update, But yeah,

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Speaker 3: I mean, I feel like that could be something that

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Speaker 3: you need to reflect on and yourself of not like

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Speaker 3: how you think about her race or anything, but just

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Speaker 3: like how you would go about her own issues, because

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Speaker 3: it kind of feels like, you know, saying that she's

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Speaker 3: being ridiculous saying this, She's like crazy.

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Speaker 4: Those aren't things that you want to.

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Speaker 3: Say to your girlfriend who's going through some problems, especially

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Speaker 3: when they're problems that.

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Speaker 5: Like you couldn't understand identity crisis.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, exactly, Like and he even acknowledged that, like

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Speaker 3: he even called it that, and he's still kind of

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Speaker 3: like still disregarding it in a way. So it's like

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Speaker 3: if he really has a problem with it, like I

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Speaker 3: feel like subconsciously probably comes from a supportive spot for him,

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Speaker 3: just like you don't have to change yourself.

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Speaker 4: I don't understand like the feeling of needing.

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Speaker 3: To change yourself to like a appear differently to others.

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Speaker 3: But you know, I feel like that would just be

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Speaker 3: more of a conversation. He should just be a little

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Speaker 3: bit more understanding about that. So hopefully this doesn't become

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Speaker 3: a deal breaker.

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Speaker 4: But we do have date.

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Speaker 3: So I was going to give a long detailed update

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Speaker 3: on what Sarah told me after we had a long

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Speaker 3: heart to heart discussion which cleared up a lot of things. However,

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Speaker 3: a lot has happened since the last week, which I

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Speaker 3: need advice on, so I will try to shortly summarize

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Speaker 3: our talk the day after the post and then come

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Speaker 3: to current events. When I posted my original post, I

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Speaker 3: got a variety of responses, ranging on how I'm not

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Speaker 3: acknowledging her identity to how she's white because Iranian means

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Speaker 3: belonging to the Aryan race and therefore her being white.

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Speaker 3: So I decided to approach her by not confronting her

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Speaker 3: on her behavior and ask what happened in Europe and

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Speaker 3: that I would like to understand her feelings in pob better.

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Speaker 3: She told me, as a kid in Iran, the concept

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Speaker 3: of race was different. Everyone was considered Iranian and generally

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Speaker 3: speaking white, no matter how dark or white you were,

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Speaker 3: but it didn't have the same meaning of being white

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Speaker 3: in the States.

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Speaker 4: She said.

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Speaker 3: However, the prejudice people face there was never because of

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Speaker 3: ethnicity or of skin color, but because but it was

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Speaker 3: due to religion or a political position, and faced by

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Speaker 3: the government and not people in general. However, her family

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Speaker 3: belonged to a religion that was treated badly, and she

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Speaker 3: was scared of people finding out, and that sometimes she

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Speaker 3: would pretend to be Muslim in school because she was

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Speaker 3: scared of her friends finding out and treating her differently. Now,

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Speaker 3: when she moved to the States, she had a vision

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Speaker 3: of living in a place that everyone is treated equally,

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Speaker 3: with equal opportunities, and she would no longer have to

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Speaker 3: hide that part of her identity.

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Speaker 6: And then you have people just assuming that that part

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Speaker 6: of her identity.

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Speaker 5: Doesn't even exist.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, So unfortunately she learned that that wasn't the case.

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Speaker 3: She moved right after the nine to eleven tax, where

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Speaker 3: people started fearing Middle Eastern people and discriminating against them.

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Speaker 3: She witnessed a lot of rape when she would tell

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Speaker 3: people where she was from. She said, a lot of

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Speaker 3: people she knew in the Persian community started hiding their

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Speaker 3: origins and would lie about.

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Speaker 4: Where they were from, fearing for their safety.

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Speaker 3: After a while, she managed to further americanize her accent

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Speaker 3: and given her very blog features, she managed to blend

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Speaker 3: in and would lie about her origins when people asked her.

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Speaker 3: When people asked about her exotic name and last name,

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Speaker 3: she says she feels like a hypocrite since the day

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Speaker 3: she started lying about her religion to her friends when

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Speaker 3: she was in Iran. While people of her religion would

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Speaker 3: sacrifice their lives not to hide it, and then hiding

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Speaker 3: her ancestry and culture in order not to face discrimination,

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Speaker 3: going to Europe made things worse. She was mocked by

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Speaker 3: a lot of Europeans for her American culture. She was

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Speaker 3: liked by a lot of neo Nazis who basically wanted

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Speaker 3: to wipe Middle Easterns from Europe, telling her things not

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Speaker 3: knowing she was Iranian as well.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, that's got to be so difficult.

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Speaker 6: It's just like the feeling of guilt that she must

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Speaker 6: feel as like a woman who can assimilate effectively, you know.

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Speaker 4: And then the fear too, of like fear.

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Speaker 5: Yes, absolutely so.

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Speaker 3: A lot of her Middle Eastern friends would accuse her

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Speaker 3: of faking a white European look and would not believe

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Speaker 3: her that she naturally looks like that. She said, a

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Speaker 3: lot of emotions were brought up, and lots of other

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Speaker 3: examples from her past. She told me so. Now she

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Speaker 3: wants to make up for the times that she hid

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Speaker 3: her identity. She thinks by looking like a traditional looking Persian,

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Speaker 3: she could make a statement about who she is.

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Speaker 4: I asked about her fake accent.

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Speaker 3: She said she's not trying to fake a Persian accent

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Speaker 3: because that's not how her new accent sounds like. She

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Speaker 3: said she hated how her friends in Europe made fun

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Speaker 3: of American accents and told her that she sounds like

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Speaker 3: a valley girl. She said, she's just trying to sound

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Speaker 3: less valley like and go back to what was once

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Speaker 3: her normal accent, which she's not sure anymore.

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Speaker 4: How it sounded like.

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Speaker 6: That's so heartbreaking, like again have to assimbl or feel

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Speaker 6: like you have to assimilate your safety and lose your

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Speaker 6: accent and then people are now telling you all like

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Speaker 6: why do you sound like that?

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Speaker 5: You have to try and get back but you don't

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Speaker 5: even remember what it was.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, literally, like everywhere she goes, which are incredibly different

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Speaker 3: places in the whole world, she's being told that she

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Speaker 3: has to act different because of her race.

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Speaker 5: Or Yeah, she's like so complicated. Yikes.

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Speaker 3: That night, I did empathize with what she told me,

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Speaker 3: although I wasn't convinced of the passive aggression she'd been

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Speaker 3: showing towards white people. I tried to address it, and

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Speaker 3: she denied any animosity and said that she's only stating

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Speaker 3: the fact about white culture and how the majority of

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Speaker 3: white people in Western world are acting, and that she's

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Speaker 3: not being hateful at all. I decided not to argue

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Speaker 3: about it because I saw how it made her upset

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Speaker 3: and stir up things. I just noticed that she would

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Speaker 3: get so touchy about the subject anyway.

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Speaker 4: I decided to just.

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Speaker 3: Change subjects and asked her to introduce me more to

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Speaker 3: Persian culture and that we could go to some cultural

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Speaker 3: events together. She seemed enthusiastic about the idea.

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Speaker 1: That's a great idea.

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Speaker 3: However, things took some severe turns in the past few days.

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Speaker 3: This Friday, we got invited to a friend's birthday party.

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Speaker 3: We had both planned in advance to go and had

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Speaker 3: picked up a different and had picked up a gift

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Speaker 3: from both of us. I called her while I was

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Speaker 3: at work if she could come to my place and

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Speaker 3: we could go together. She tells me that she can't

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Speaker 3: go because she needs to work on her resume to

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Speaker 3: apply for a new job. She's currently very stressed about

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Speaker 3: finding new jobs, but it's nothing out of the ordinary

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Speaker 3: for her. I got angry and told her that she

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Speaker 3: can't just cancel last minute like that, and she then

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Speaker 3: just explodes and starts rambling about one hundred different things

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Speaker 3: that she's mad at me about. She spoke so fast

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Speaker 3: and aggrieved that I couldn't follow what she was talking about.

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Speaker 3: She told me not to pick her up and that

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Speaker 3: she's not coming to the party. I was pissed and

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Speaker 3: confused and went to the party without her. I expected

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Speaker 3: a text or a call later that she would apologize

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Speaker 3: to me and the friends, but I didn't hear anything

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Speaker 3: from her. I didn't hear anything on Sunday either, and

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Speaker 3: was tempted to text to check up on her, but

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Speaker 3: didn't because she should be the one contacting me. On Monday,

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Speaker 3: not hearing anything for two days, I got worried and

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Speaker 3: gave up and called and texted her, but got no reply.

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Speaker 3: I'm thinking she's acting like a little kid with unfounded aggression.

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Speaker 3: But then on Monday I got a call from her

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Speaker 3: parents that they haven't heard anything about her and are

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Speaker 3: asking me about her whereabouts.

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Speaker 4: This is getting a little scary now.

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Speaker 3: They live in West Coast and we are in the

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Speaker 3: East Coast currently, so I became really worried. I went

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Speaker 3: to her place Monday night, but no one was there.

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Speaker 3: Now I'm starting to panic and have no idea what's happening.

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Speaker 3: I've contacted everyone she knows in our city, and no

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Speaker 3: one knows where she is. I'm worried like crazy. I

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Speaker 3: don't know what I should do, if I should call

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Speaker 3: the police or just wait for her contact. If her

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Speaker 3: parents didn't call to ask, I would have assumed that

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Speaker 3: she was just angry at me. But now I don't

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Speaker 3: know what to think. And we do have an updates,

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Speaker 3: but oh my gosh, I'm scared too now.

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Speaker 4: So this is a completely different problem than what we

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Speaker 4: had before.

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Speaker 1: Things have progressed. Yeah, yikes.

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Speaker 3: I kind of want to just go into the update

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Speaker 3: because I really need to know I'm worried.

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Speaker 4: So update number two.

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Speaker 3: I texted and emailed Sarah again with a message that

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Speaker 3: I'm just extremely worried about her, and so are her parents,

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Speaker 3: and I just want to know if she's safe. Many

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Speaker 3: suggested to call the police, but I thought I would

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Speaker 3: wait a little bit more before doing it. A few

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Speaker 3: hours ago, Sarah called me crying and said that she's

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Speaker 3: in the hospital. She went to a clinic on Saturday

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Speaker 3: to ask if she could get some pills to calm

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Speaker 3: her down because she was panicking and stressed about some

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Speaker 3: job decision and had an extreme headache. She said that

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Speaker 3: she had a lot of headaches and it wouldn't stop,

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Speaker 3: so she took about six to eight exadrons in a

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Speaker 3: few hours and it wasn't helping. Six to eight anything

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Speaker 3: in a few hours not good, So she went to

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Speaker 3: a clinic and they told her that the amount of

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Speaker 3: cedamnifin could be toxic for her liver and told her

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Speaker 3: to go to the er. Yeah, because oh my gosh.

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Speaker 3: At the hospital, they tested her for and her blood

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Speaker 3: result was totally fine, but decided to commit her into

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Speaker 3: the psych unit involuntarily to further evaluate her. She told

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Speaker 3: me that she thought she would be released the day after,

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Speaker 3: but they're not letting her until they're sure that she's safe.

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Speaker 3: She refused to call me, her family or any other

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Speaker 3: friend because she was too embarrassed to being in a

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Speaker 3: psych unit. However, she learned that they would probably not

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Speaker 3: let her out soon until they're sure that she has

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Speaker 3: a support unit. And seeing my message how everyone is

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Speaker 3: worried and looking for her, she decided to tell me

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Speaker 3: the hospital told me that I could is it her

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Speaker 3: during the visiting hours later today, so I will go

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Speaker 3: then and see what I can do. She told me

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Speaker 3: to just make something up to her parents for now

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Speaker 3: and see what happens when she gets out. I'm just

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Speaker 3: glad that she's safe and we'll find out more later

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Speaker 3: in the morning when I visit her. Thanks Reddit for

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Speaker 3: your support. And that's it.

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Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, Wow, that was crazy.

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Speaker 7: It was wild.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 8: I mean, I mean I don't feel like taking like

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Speaker 8: eight etcrin is like a oh well, clearly this person

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Speaker 8: is like a risk to their own safety. It's like

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Speaker 8: more like that's just like one of that. This is

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Speaker 8: like a very dumb brain like I'm not I don't

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Speaker 8: understand how medications work.

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Speaker 1: Thing to do.

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Speaker 8: Yeah, And it's like clearly her liver levels were fine.

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Speaker 8: It's like she she didn't take anywhere near enough to

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Speaker 8: like severely like hurt her. Whoever told her that was

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Speaker 8: just being safe better safe than sorry.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but like you know, clearly, I mean, that's four

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Speaker 1: hundred milligrams of caffeine.

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Speaker 4: It's a lot.

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Speaker 1: It's you know, a lot.

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Speaker 8: It's not gonna and that's not gonna hear anything, but

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Speaker 8: it's a lot.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, because I mean, yeah, it probably is just that,

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Speaker 3: like they like want to make sure she's okay, and

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Speaker 3: they don't know her, so they probably are like, you

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Speaker 3: don't know if this is like a normal occurrence that

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Speaker 3: she usually does. So yeah, hopefully things will turn out

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Speaker 3: and she's and the boyfriend can op he can vouch

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Speaker 3: for her and explain that, like, no, this isn't normal.

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Speaker 8: My boyfriend dislikes dogs, Should I break up with him?

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Speaker 6: Yes?

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Speaker 8: My boyfriend Paul twenty five male, and I twenty two female,

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Speaker 8: met in college at a seminar and hit it off

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Speaker 8: right away. We were really obnoxiously sappy and had a

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Speaker 8: lot of fun together. I let him know right off

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Speaker 8: the bat that I loved dogs and had two big dogs,

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Speaker 8: bub a Mastiff mix, and Read a German Shepherd. I

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Speaker 8: also let him know that I regularly fostered, volunteered, and

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Speaker 8: did basic obedient slash behavioral training for various agencies.

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Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from throw.

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Speaker 8: It Away three and if you want to submit your

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Speaker 8: own stories, go to our slash Okay story time I'm

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Speaker 8: sub Reddit.

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Speaker 1: So he told me that he loved dogs.

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Speaker 8: He even offered to go to dog parks, training seminars,

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Speaker 8: and jogging with me bub and Red. I was over

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Speaker 8: the moon because now I could spend time with my

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Speaker 8: favorite person and my little bodies. I began notice that

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Speaker 8: sometimes Paul would be stand office around dogs when he

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Speaker 8: thought I wasn't paying attention, and Bub and Red never

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Speaker 8: took to him.

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Speaker 1: I later found out it was because he'd.

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Speaker 8: Only touch or play with them while I was around,

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Speaker 8: and he'd ignore them when I wasn't. I chalked it

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Speaker 8: up to the fact that he had small dogs as

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Speaker 8: a child and wasn't used to the large ones. Also,

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Speaker 8: they can be somewhat intimidating when you meet them due

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Speaker 8: to their size. More red flags appeared when we'd spend

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Speaker 8: most of the time at my place because it was

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Speaker 8: really big and I lived by myself while he lived

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Speaker 8: with three roommates. He started dropping hints about us moving

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Speaker 8: in together a year ago, but I told him I

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Speaker 8: wasn't comfortable with that until he was financially responsible. He

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Speaker 8: has over one hundred thousand dollars in debt and being

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00:15:00,640 --> 00:15:03,520
Speaker 8: in grad school kept that number climbing, and we wouldn't

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Speaker 8: be moving in together until he could pay his portion

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Speaker 8: of the rent. I rent quote unquote from my dad

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Speaker 8: for around two thousand a month and he can barely

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Speaker 8: pay the three hundred for his current place. This made

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Speaker 8: him mad, and he'd make passive aggressive comments about bub

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Speaker 8: Red and my free loading foster dogs. So that's when

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Speaker 8: you break up with him.

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Speaker 1: Right there. Your dogs aren't even paying rent.

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Speaker 4: This is crazy.

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Speaker 1: These dogs need jobs. He was also insanely jealous of Max,

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Speaker 1: the dog trainer and sitter.

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Speaker 5: I use oh boy.

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Speaker 8: I knew Max when he first opened his business with

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Speaker 8: his best friend and have always been and I've always

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00:15:41,800 --> 00:15:44,920
Speaker 8: used their services for bub and Red mainly because they

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00:15:44,960 --> 00:15:48,360
Speaker 8: have seriously good credentials, give me great training, demonstrations and

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Speaker 8: advice for free. Their training methods are compatible with my dogs,

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Speaker 8: and I receive half off for being their first slash

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Speaker 8: longtime customer. Paul would make rude comments about him, really jealous,

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Speaker 8: and when I pick up my dogs from their office,

359
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Speaker 8: he'd complain about the office smelling like crap. It doesn't

360
00:16:06,760 --> 00:16:09,800
Speaker 8: They've housetrained all the dogs they sit and keep it spotless.

361
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Speaker 8: Then he would tell me to go myself, but if

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Speaker 8: I stay for more than five minutes, he'd barge in

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Speaker 8: and make a big deal about taking forever, even though

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00:16:16,520 --> 00:16:18,320
Speaker 8: I tell him I'm going to take ten minutes to

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00:16:18,360 --> 00:16:20,880
Speaker 8: go over their training and their day. I guess what

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00:16:20,960 --> 00:16:24,520
Speaker 8: made me break it off nice is that Red is

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Speaker 8: a dog I fostered than adopted after I left my parents'

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00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:31,120
Speaker 8: home for college. When I first got him, he was

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Speaker 8: a horribly behaved, skinny dog with human and dog aggression.

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Speaker 8: I worked for a year to getting him used to

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Speaker 8: other people and dogs to curb his aggression, plus constant

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Speaker 8: obedience training, a strict diet, and exercise so he'd become

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Speaker 8: the perfect.

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Speaker 1: Angel he is today lovely.

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Speaker 8: He's around six years old and is a pure bred

376
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Speaker 8: German Shepherd of dubious origin, meaning that there might be

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Speaker 8: a host of genetic problems that I don't know about

378
00:16:56,880 --> 00:16:59,760
Speaker 8: and can't even track his pedigree to find out. The

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00:17:00,040 --> 00:17:02,800
Speaker 8: last month, he's not as active, is losing his appetite,

380
00:17:02,840 --> 00:17:05,280
Speaker 8: and has lost a lot of weight. No. I have

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Speaker 8: paid thousands to have every test done and have gone

382
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Speaker 8: to numerous vets and specialists, but they still.

383
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Speaker 1: Don't know the problem.

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Speaker 8: I'm watching my baby boy wither away in front of me,

385
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Speaker 8: but all Paul has done is insult me for wasting

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Speaker 8: money on a lost car.

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Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, you can't be in you can't you.

388
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Speaker 3: You can't be insulting the dog and against the dog

389
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Speaker 3: in any case, but you especially can't be doing that

390
00:17:35,400 --> 00:17:39,479
Speaker 3: when the dog is going through this hard time. That

391
00:17:39,680 --> 00:17:41,919
Speaker 3: is the worst time to talk about that.

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Speaker 6: Ugh.

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Speaker 8: So he made a comment yesterday about how I've never

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Speaker 8: lent him that much money and when.

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Speaker 1: He bites the dust, that'll free up some space. Oooh,

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Speaker 1: I hate this man.

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Speaker 8: Oh, he says, I hate showing extreme emotions and prefer

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00:18:00,600 --> 00:18:03,760
Speaker 8: to have calm discussions. But I blew up and we

399
00:18:03,800 --> 00:18:05,960
Speaker 8: got into our first screaming match, and it should be

400
00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:09,080
Speaker 8: your last, where I basically asked what his problem was,

401
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Speaker 8: and he admitted that he lied about loving dogs because

402
00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:13,679
Speaker 8: he thought a girl like me would never date him

403
00:18:13,720 --> 00:18:16,360
Speaker 8: unless he did, and that he hates slash, is jealous

404
00:18:16,359 --> 00:18:19,440
Speaker 8: of my dogs, thinks dogs are disgusting and can't wait

405
00:18:19,480 --> 00:18:22,040
Speaker 8: until my dogs pass away because then he can finally

406
00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:24,480
Speaker 8: move in and they'll be out of our lives.

407
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Speaker 4: That is incredibly pathetic. It's pathetic you're jealous of dogs.

408
00:18:31,720 --> 00:18:35,240
Speaker 3: I had a man once say that I couldn't call

409
00:18:35,320 --> 00:18:40,280
Speaker 3: my dogs cutie because I called him that Wow, it's

410
00:18:40,359 --> 00:18:44,480
Speaker 3: so so pathetic, and especially what this guy is saying

411
00:18:44,520 --> 00:18:47,480
Speaker 3: of like, like, oh, I just I had to lie

412
00:18:47,520 --> 00:18:49,800
Speaker 3: about myself for a girl like you to love me.

413
00:18:50,400 --> 00:18:53,800
Speaker 3: You had to lie about who you are and what

414
00:18:53,880 --> 00:18:57,280
Speaker 3: you like and keep up that lie around her just

415
00:18:57,359 --> 00:18:58,879
Speaker 3: so that she can love you.

416
00:18:59,600 --> 00:19:02,160
Speaker 4: Like, dude, that's so stupid.

417
00:19:02,440 --> 00:19:05,040
Speaker 8: Guys like this that make me understand why women would

418
00:19:05,080 --> 00:19:08,320
Speaker 8: pick the bear. So this all ended with me screaming

419
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Speaker 8: for him to get out. He refused to leave it first,

420
00:19:11,320 --> 00:19:13,840
Speaker 8: but eventually left after I threatened to call the cops.

421
00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:16,359
Speaker 8: After he was gone, I texted that we were done.

422
00:19:16,640 --> 00:19:18,760
Speaker 8: I ended up sitting on the floor crying and hugging

423
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Speaker 8: my babies.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, he's been.

425
00:19:20,359 --> 00:19:24,399
Speaker 8: Teetering between texting insults and apologies. I blocked his number,

426
00:19:25,040 --> 00:19:26,920
Speaker 8: but I guess he told all our friends that I'm

427
00:19:26,920 --> 00:19:28,800
Speaker 8: crazy and I broke up with him out of the

428
00:19:29,080 --> 00:19:32,040
Speaker 8: blue over a mutt. Some have message to me about

429
00:19:32,080 --> 00:19:35,159
Speaker 8: what my effing problem is. I'm a psycho loser for

430
00:19:35,240 --> 00:19:38,600
Speaker 8: dumping him. It's just an effing mut. Well, yeah, and

431
00:19:38,640 --> 00:19:40,480
Speaker 8: you can just block all those people.

432
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Speaker 5: Anyone who texts you.

433
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Speaker 6: It's just an efing mutt, I would say, I hate

434
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Speaker 6: you don't talk to me.

435
00:19:45,400 --> 00:19:47,280
Speaker 4: I would say, let's look at your ancestry.

436
00:19:47,440 --> 00:19:48,000
Speaker 1: Yeah.

437
00:19:48,480 --> 00:19:51,360
Speaker 8: I broke up after an argument with him during an

438
00:19:51,359 --> 00:19:55,160
Speaker 8: emotionally charged situation, something I'm not used to. He's really

439
00:19:55,200 --> 00:19:57,480
Speaker 8: passive aggressive sometimes, but that was the first time he

440
00:19:57,520 --> 00:20:00,560
Speaker 8: said anything like that. My question is should I contact

441
00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:02,359
Speaker 8: him to talk now that we both had time to

442
00:20:02,400 --> 00:20:02,920
Speaker 8: calm down?

443
00:20:03,560 --> 00:20:10,040
Speaker 1: No? No, what's there to talk about?

444
00:20:10,640 --> 00:20:13,360
Speaker 8: It was really fun spending time with him, even though

445
00:20:13,359 --> 00:20:15,560
Speaker 8: the whole thing was built on a lie the whole time. Plus,

446
00:20:15,640 --> 00:20:17,720
Speaker 8: I'm not sure if he really feels that way about

447
00:20:17,840 --> 00:20:19,920
Speaker 8: bub and Red, because he's never been cruel to them

448
00:20:20,040 --> 00:20:20,960
Speaker 8: or mistreated them.

449
00:20:21,359 --> 00:20:22,080
Speaker 1: I think it might be.

450
00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:25,119
Speaker 8: Because he's frustrated I refuse to let him move in. No,

451
00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:27,119
Speaker 8: he just told you the truth and you need to

452
00:20:27,160 --> 00:20:31,119
Speaker 8: hear it and believe it. Also, how do I handle

453
00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:33,479
Speaker 8: the friend's situation? Our friends seem to have developed an

454
00:20:33,480 --> 00:20:36,040
Speaker 8: extremely negative opinion of me and won't stop sending me

455
00:20:36,080 --> 00:20:40,040
Speaker 8: texts about my how I was being see you next Tuesday?

456
00:20:40,480 --> 00:20:42,720
Speaker 8: You just say, this guy was telling me he can't

457
00:20:42,760 --> 00:20:44,960
Speaker 8: wait for my dog to Yeah.

458
00:20:45,040 --> 00:20:47,760
Speaker 4: Like, let me inform you a little bit from my perspective.

459
00:20:48,359 --> 00:20:50,280
Speaker 8: What do you think about that? And if they still

460
00:20:50,320 --> 00:20:54,480
Speaker 8: are like you're wrong? Bye, Goodbye, not my friend anymore.

461
00:20:54,560 --> 00:20:57,119
Speaker 8: Thank you for all your advice and concern. When this

462
00:20:57,240 --> 00:20:59,399
Speaker 8: was posted, I hadn't slept and my thoughts were all

463
00:20:59,440 --> 00:21:02,119
Speaker 8: over the place. Honestly, besides Paul, I don't interact with

464
00:21:02,160 --> 00:21:05,360
Speaker 8: anyone in a friendly setting besides my dogs and Max,

465
00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:08,080
Speaker 8: which is why I think he hates them so much.

466
00:21:08,480 --> 00:21:09,199
Speaker 1: Date Max.

467
00:21:10,240 --> 00:21:13,159
Speaker 8: Rereading my post and every reply and personal message, I

468
00:21:13,200 --> 00:21:16,120
Speaker 8: feel disgusted with myself for even thinking about contacting him

469
00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:19,040
Speaker 8: or subjecting my babies to his presence. Yay. He has

470
00:21:19,080 --> 00:21:21,399
Speaker 8: taken to texting and calling me from different numbers, so

471
00:21:21,480 --> 00:21:23,680
Speaker 8: I just sent him one message via Facebook telling him

472
00:21:23,680 --> 00:21:26,520
Speaker 8: not to contact me and blocked him. I've decided to

473
00:21:26,520 --> 00:21:28,720
Speaker 8: cut off all of his friends. I don't need that

474
00:21:28,760 --> 00:21:30,840
Speaker 8: in my life. I've also set an appointment with my

475
00:21:30,920 --> 00:21:33,080
Speaker 8: vet to discuss the possibility that Red may have been

476
00:21:33,080 --> 00:21:35,200
Speaker 8: poisoned or slowly poisoned.

477
00:21:35,359 --> 00:21:39,560
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, can you imagine jail straight to jail?

478
00:21:39,720 --> 00:21:41,879
Speaker 4: Honestly, I feel like you could do something.

479
00:21:41,920 --> 00:21:44,240
Speaker 1: You know that's animal abuse. You send him to jail.

480
00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:48,760
Speaker 8: Someone messaged me asking why I really liked him, and

481
00:21:48,800 --> 00:21:51,960
Speaker 8: I'll address that here. He's the first guy besides Max

482
00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:55,439
Speaker 8: to approach me without flirting or an ulterior motive. I

483
00:21:55,520 --> 00:21:58,440
Speaker 8: grew up my whole life being told that my looks

484
00:21:58,760 --> 00:22:01,600
Speaker 8: were most important. My goal in life should be marrying

485
00:22:01,640 --> 00:22:04,160
Speaker 8: someone who was at least as wealthy as my dad.

486
00:22:04,640 --> 00:22:07,240
Speaker 1: Funny story. When my mom paid attention to me, it was.

487
00:22:07,200 --> 00:22:09,840
Speaker 8: To share life advice, like, sweetie, you better hope you

488
00:22:09,880 --> 00:22:12,960
Speaker 8: grow into your nose because doctor John her plastic surgery

489
00:22:13,080 --> 00:22:15,119
Speaker 8: might retire by the time your face figures out if

490
00:22:15,160 --> 00:22:16,000
Speaker 8: it wants to be ugly.

491
00:22:16,240 --> 00:22:21,240
Speaker 3: Oh my god, that kept getting so much worse statement.

492
00:22:21,359 --> 00:22:23,120
Speaker 8: It sounds like that mom who just likes to drink

493
00:22:23,240 --> 00:22:26,879
Speaker 8: red wine and takes annex. His apparent disinterest regarding my

494
00:22:26,880 --> 00:22:29,280
Speaker 8: physical appearance made me really happy, and the fact that

495
00:22:29,320 --> 00:22:32,000
Speaker 8: he didn't fit into the grand plan my parents set

496
00:22:32,040 --> 00:22:34,080
Speaker 8: made me feel like I was making my own choice.

497
00:22:34,560 --> 00:22:36,840
Speaker 8: Right now, my dogs are ignoring me because I got

498
00:22:36,840 --> 00:22:39,760
Speaker 8: there fur all wet Nah. I'm getting them a squeaky

499
00:22:39,800 --> 00:22:41,960
Speaker 8: toy today to make up for it. Oh, and there

500
00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:45,680
Speaker 8: is an important update here. Do we have any thoughts before?

501
00:22:45,720 --> 00:22:49,000
Speaker 8: I mean, clearly, yeah, you've left the man that's great.

502
00:22:49,400 --> 00:22:51,919
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think those are like those are understandable.

503
00:22:52,320 --> 00:22:55,320
Speaker 3: It you know, reasons to kind of stay with someone

504
00:22:55,400 --> 00:23:00,320
Speaker 3: and to to it's unastandable to think those things. But

505
00:23:00,640 --> 00:23:03,040
Speaker 3: hopefully after this you'll learn that, like, that's not the

506
00:23:03,080 --> 00:23:05,760
Speaker 3: only requirement. There's a lot more boxes that someone needs

507
00:23:05,760 --> 00:23:07,639
Speaker 3: to check off and that doesn't mean that they're like

508
00:23:07,640 --> 00:23:09,480
Speaker 3: the best person to stay with, you know, And I'm

509
00:23:09,520 --> 00:23:10,280
Speaker 3: sure she'll learn that.

510
00:23:11,320 --> 00:23:14,639
Speaker 1: Update. Most important update, Red is doing better.

511
00:23:14,840 --> 00:23:17,080
Speaker 8: I went to a holistic vet and took their advice

512
00:23:17,119 --> 00:23:19,439
Speaker 8: on switching him from a conventional kibble diet to a

513
00:23:19,520 --> 00:23:22,280
Speaker 8: raw diet with supplements, and it was like a miracle.

514
00:23:22,640 --> 00:23:25,439
Speaker 8: He ate everything and has been putting on weight. Plus,

515
00:23:25,440 --> 00:23:28,000
Speaker 8: his activity levels shot through the roof, and he's happier

516
00:23:28,359 --> 00:23:30,720
Speaker 8: because he can go on small hikes and go swimming again.

517
00:23:31,200 --> 00:23:32,000
Speaker 1: It's only been two.

518
00:23:31,920 --> 00:23:33,879
Speaker 8: Weeks since the change, but bub and I have our

519
00:23:33,920 --> 00:23:36,600
Speaker 8: buddy back and it's the best. I've done a lot

520
00:23:36,600 --> 00:23:38,960
Speaker 8: of thinking and they say hindsight is twenty twenty, but

521
00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:41,720
Speaker 8: I still feel bad. I had this realization that I

522
00:23:41,760 --> 00:23:45,440
Speaker 8: clung onto Paul because I've spent years isolating myself from everyone.

523
00:23:45,880 --> 00:23:47,920
Speaker 8: It was easier to rely on him than to put

524
00:23:47,920 --> 00:23:50,879
Speaker 8: myself out there and interact. When we first met, he

525
00:23:50,920 --> 00:23:52,720
Speaker 8: made the effort to hang out when he.

526
00:23:52,720 --> 00:23:53,320
Speaker 1: Wanted to date.

527
00:23:53,359 --> 00:23:55,800
Speaker 8: I agreed because I was lonely and he was fun

528
00:23:55,840 --> 00:23:58,520
Speaker 8: and sweet. He'd talk so I didn't have to, and

529
00:23:58,560 --> 00:24:01,840
Speaker 8: he dictated the standards of our relationship. I also think

530
00:24:01,880 --> 00:24:04,560
Speaker 8: that he liked me because of that. He didn't need

531
00:24:04,600 --> 00:24:06,760
Speaker 8: to worry about other people talking to me because I

532
00:24:06,760 --> 00:24:07,800
Speaker 8: didn't have anyone else.

533
00:24:08,240 --> 00:24:09,800
Speaker 1: Maybe in the beginning he put up with.

534
00:24:09,720 --> 00:24:12,040
Speaker 8: My dogs because they were the lesser of two evils,

535
00:24:12,359 --> 00:24:14,520
Speaker 8: but he still hated them because they were something I

536
00:24:14,560 --> 00:24:17,880
Speaker 8: loved and cared about that wasn't him. I also think

537
00:24:17,920 --> 00:24:20,720
Speaker 8: that's the same reason he hated Max, because I could

538
00:24:20,760 --> 00:24:24,199
Speaker 8: actually talk to him like a friend, and Paul felt thereat.

539
00:24:24,720 --> 00:24:27,199
Speaker 8: I'm also at fault for the problems in our relationship.

540
00:24:27,760 --> 00:24:31,240
Speaker 8: I used Paul as an outlet for human interaction. Well,

541
00:24:31,359 --> 00:24:34,520
Speaker 8: he's your boyfriend, so that's fair, and an excuse not

542
00:24:34,640 --> 00:24:38,040
Speaker 8: to need to get to know people. Well, that's just codependency.

543
00:24:38,520 --> 00:24:41,199
Speaker 8: I always made excuses for issues that arose during our

544
00:24:41,200 --> 00:24:44,199
Speaker 8: relationship because addressing them scared me. I never told him

545
00:24:44,200 --> 00:24:46,560
Speaker 8: if I didn't like something, and I just smiled at everything.

546
00:24:47,000 --> 00:24:49,240
Speaker 8: I think that's why he thought that without my dogs,

547
00:24:49,280 --> 00:24:52,199
Speaker 8: our life would be picture perfect. I'd always concede to

548
00:24:52,240 --> 00:24:55,120
Speaker 8: whatever he wanted, except when it came to them and finances.

549
00:24:55,480 --> 00:24:57,760
Speaker 8: The finance part is mainly because I lent him money

550
00:24:57,760 --> 00:24:59,720
Speaker 8: in the beginning of our relationship and he never paid

551
00:24:59,720 --> 00:25:02,159
Speaker 8: me back back. Sweetie, I feel like you've found a

552
00:25:02,200 --> 00:25:06,400
Speaker 8: guy who just like saw you as a target. He's like, oh,

553
00:25:06,520 --> 00:25:09,359
Speaker 8: here's a woman who will do whatever I say. Plus,

554
00:25:09,680 --> 00:25:12,760
Speaker 8: my money is from my dad and inheritance from my grandpa,

555
00:25:12,880 --> 00:25:15,240
Speaker 8: and I feel like a leech if I spend it frivolously.

556
00:25:15,640 --> 00:25:17,800
Speaker 8: I didn't contact Paul, but I did reach out to

557
00:25:17,840 --> 00:25:20,520
Speaker 8: his best friend, James, who didn't bother me after the breakup,

558
00:25:20,760 --> 00:25:22,520
Speaker 8: and asked if he could stop by my place to

559
00:25:22,520 --> 00:25:24,760
Speaker 8: pick up Paul's things. I asked him if he could

560
00:25:24,800 --> 00:25:26,440
Speaker 8: come alone because I didn't want to see Paul, and

561
00:25:26,480 --> 00:25:29,160
Speaker 8: he agreed. But when he came, I saw Paul with him,

562
00:25:29,200 --> 00:25:32,879
Speaker 8: but standing behind a pillar. I asked the security guard

563
00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:35,080
Speaker 8: to take the box out to them and went back

564
00:25:35,119 --> 00:25:35,800
Speaker 8: to my condo.

565
00:25:36,200 --> 00:25:39,400
Speaker 4: Smart. That was very smart what Paul was hiding.

566
00:25:40,119 --> 00:25:41,520
Speaker 1: I was told by the front desk.

567
00:25:41,600 --> 00:25:43,600
Speaker 8: Later that day that Paul tried to get inside but

568
00:25:43,640 --> 00:25:45,760
Speaker 8: was stopped by security and he ended up causing some

569
00:25:45,880 --> 00:25:48,840
Speaker 8: damage to the lobby. My dad found out and he

570
00:25:48,880 --> 00:25:51,040
Speaker 8: doesn't want me living there anymore, so I'll be moving

571
00:25:51,080 --> 00:25:51,600
Speaker 8: in April.

572
00:25:51,800 --> 00:25:52,000
Speaker 5: Good.

573
00:25:52,040 --> 00:25:54,600
Speaker 8: I've started trying to meet new people and make some friends.

574
00:25:55,000 --> 00:25:57,960
Speaker 8: It's been somewhat hard, but Max is helping new boyfriend.

575
00:25:58,520 --> 00:26:01,160
Speaker 8: He set up a group dog high with all his clients.

576
00:26:01,359 --> 00:26:03,560
Speaker 8: Nothing breaks the ice as well as a group of dogs.

577
00:26:03,960 --> 00:26:07,000
Speaker 8: Bub and his greyhound girlfriend spent the entire time ignoring

578
00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:08,640
Speaker 8: everyone in noodling.

579
00:26:08,400 --> 00:26:09,560
Speaker 5: Which was so cute.

580
00:26:09,960 --> 00:26:11,840
Speaker 8: I met a lot of nice people and we planned

581
00:26:11,880 --> 00:26:14,320
Speaker 8: some playdates, and a nice couple invited me to lunch.

582
00:26:14,760 --> 00:26:17,600
Speaker 8: I find out Max has never watched a single Marvel movie,

583
00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:20,800
Speaker 8: so we're going to marathon them all at my place.

584
00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:23,800
Speaker 5: Uh.

585
00:26:23,840 --> 00:26:25,200
Speaker 4: I like where this is going.

586
00:26:30,200 --> 00:26:32,359
Speaker 8: I also went to a board game night with some

587
00:26:32,400 --> 00:26:36,760
Speaker 8: people I volunteer with. We played Settlers of Catan, Monopoly

588
00:26:37,119 --> 00:26:38,280
Speaker 8: and Forbidden Island.

589
00:26:38,760 --> 00:26:41,920
Speaker 1: Board games are fun. We have a little bit left here.

590
00:26:42,320 --> 00:26:43,960
Speaker 1: I think let's just finish it off.

591
00:26:44,040 --> 00:26:45,479
Speaker 5: Huh, suet go ahead.

592
00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:48,439
Speaker 8: My sister called me up asking if I could convince

593
00:26:48,440 --> 00:26:50,520
Speaker 8: our dad to let her stay at his beach house

594
00:26:50,560 --> 00:26:53,080
Speaker 8: for spring break. She didn't want to ask him herself

595
00:26:53,080 --> 00:26:56,119
Speaker 8: because last year she and her friends trashed it. I

596
00:26:56,280 --> 00:26:58,680
Speaker 8: offered to let her and her boyfriend's stay with me instead.

597
00:26:59,240 --> 00:27:01,360
Speaker 8: She asked about Paul, and I told her about our breakup.

598
00:27:01,560 --> 00:27:04,240
Speaker 8: She was very sympathetic and sweet until I finished, and

599
00:27:04,240 --> 00:27:06,120
Speaker 8: then she laughed at me, told me I was dumb

600
00:27:06,240 --> 00:27:07,359
Speaker 8: and that she's telling Mom.

601
00:27:07,800 --> 00:27:09,760
Speaker 1: Later Mom called to gloat.

602
00:27:09,520 --> 00:27:12,399
Speaker 8: About how she was right about Paul being crappy and

603
00:27:12,440 --> 00:27:15,160
Speaker 8: the consequences of not listening to her, and to tell

604
00:27:15,200 --> 00:27:17,639
Speaker 8: me she's setting me up with her friend's sons because

605
00:27:17,720 --> 00:27:19,439
Speaker 8: I'll fail if I do anything myself.

606
00:27:19,520 --> 00:27:20,119
Speaker 7: Oh my god.

607
00:27:21,080 --> 00:27:23,600
Speaker 8: I told her, don't set me up, but she gave

608
00:27:23,600 --> 00:27:25,359
Speaker 8: my number to a bunch of people and set updates

609
00:27:25,359 --> 00:27:25,879
Speaker 8: without asking.

610
00:27:25,920 --> 00:27:27,119
Speaker 1: Guess what, you don't have to go to him.

611
00:27:27,280 --> 00:27:27,600
Speaker 5: True.

612
00:27:27,640 --> 00:27:29,639
Speaker 8: I'm trying to power through and focus on myself and

613
00:27:29,680 --> 00:27:32,800
Speaker 8: my babies. Thank you everyone for your advice. Whenever I

614
00:27:32,840 --> 00:27:35,240
Speaker 8: have moments of weakness, I just reread the entire threat.

615
00:27:35,560 --> 00:27:37,720
Speaker 8: It's been very helpful, and I'm working hard to apply

616
00:27:37,840 --> 00:27:39,720
Speaker 8: a lot of the comments to my life.

617
00:27:39,800 --> 00:27:43,159
Speaker 3: Our neighbor is flirting with my boyfriend, but he doesn't

618
00:27:43,160 --> 00:27:44,160
Speaker 3: think it's a problem.

619
00:27:44,440 --> 00:27:45,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, because I don't like her.

620
00:27:46,560 --> 00:27:49,400
Speaker 3: I'll start this off by saying that I, twenty six female,

621
00:27:49,560 --> 00:27:52,000
Speaker 3: trust my boyfriend thirty one male and his bond with me.

622
00:27:52,160 --> 00:27:54,359
Speaker 3: We've been together for five years. I just don't trust

623
00:27:54,359 --> 00:27:57,560
Speaker 3: his judgment when it comes to minimizing situations and setting boundaries.

624
00:27:57,760 --> 00:27:59,679
Speaker 3: And I don't like that this situation is making me

625
00:27:59,720 --> 00:28:02,720
Speaker 3: feel gas lit and crazy. I feel like there's no

626
00:28:02,760 --> 00:28:05,560
Speaker 3: way to deal with this situation without coming off as controlling,

627
00:28:05,640 --> 00:28:07,840
Speaker 3: and I don't know what to do. By the way,

628
00:28:07,880 --> 00:28:10,520
Speaker 3: this comes from a throwaway flirty to boyfriend, and if

629
00:28:10,520 --> 00:28:11,960
Speaker 3: you want to submit your own stories, go to the

630
00:28:11,960 --> 00:28:15,240
Speaker 3: hour slash Okay storytime Separate it. So, an important piece

631
00:28:15,280 --> 00:28:17,760
Speaker 3: of context to the story is that my boyfriend is Asian.

632
00:28:17,840 --> 00:28:20,080
Speaker 3: I'll refer to my boyfriend as Alex and his neighbor

633
00:28:20,119 --> 00:28:23,440
Speaker 3: as June. This story starts off in early December, when

634
00:28:23,440 --> 00:28:25,560
Speaker 3: Alex and I were in the mood for some spicy

635
00:28:25,640 --> 00:28:28,840
Speaker 3: Korean food and met up after work at a restaurant.

636
00:28:29,359 --> 00:28:31,480
Speaker 3: It was a regular food outing with nothing out of

637
00:28:31,480 --> 00:28:33,960
Speaker 3: the ordinary. The waitress didn't treat us in any suspicious

638
00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:36,920
Speaker 3: way at all and didn't seem overly familiar with us either.

639
00:28:37,240 --> 00:28:40,560
Speaker 3: Nothing suspicious to report about. A week after that outing,

640
00:28:40,600 --> 00:28:43,240
Speaker 3: Alex sends me a message that reads, You'll never guess

641
00:28:43,240 --> 00:28:46,080
Speaker 3: who lives in my apartment complex. The waitress from that

642
00:28:46,160 --> 00:28:50,400
Speaker 3: Korean restaurant and I chatted to her. Her name is June.

643
00:28:50,640 --> 00:28:52,600
Speaker 3: I think you and her would be good friends. Okay,

644
00:28:52,640 --> 00:28:54,560
Speaker 3: this is honestly starting out.

645
00:28:54,440 --> 00:28:55,960
Speaker 1: Not bad, not bad.

646
00:28:56,520 --> 00:28:59,120
Speaker 3: I laughed at the coincidence and thought so too happy

647
00:28:59,160 --> 00:29:00,840
Speaker 3: that Alex and I am I have a new friend.

648
00:29:01,280 --> 00:29:03,520
Speaker 3: The next day, I asked Alex about how he and

649
00:29:03,600 --> 00:29:04,520
Speaker 3: June started chatting.

650
00:29:05,040 --> 00:29:06,920
Speaker 4: Alex explained that while he was getting into the.

651
00:29:06,840 --> 00:29:09,320
Speaker 3: Elevator, he was joined by this girl who was chatting

652
00:29:09,360 --> 00:29:11,000
Speaker 3: on the phone with someone. He said that when she

653
00:29:11,040 --> 00:29:13,760
Speaker 3: saw him, her reaction was to make a strange sound

654
00:29:13,800 --> 00:29:16,880
Speaker 3: between a gasp and a squeal, and she immediately put

655
00:29:16,920 --> 00:29:17,640
Speaker 3: the person on.

656
00:29:17,880 --> 00:29:18,840
Speaker 5: Phone on hold.

657
00:29:19,480 --> 00:29:22,160
Speaker 3: She immediately started chatting with Alex, explaining that she was

658
00:29:22,160 --> 00:29:25,200
Speaker 3: our waitress at the Korean restaurant, introduced herself as June,

659
00:29:25,200 --> 00:29:27,160
Speaker 3: and that she'd seen him around the apartment building for

660
00:29:27,200 --> 00:29:29,160
Speaker 3: weeks now and always wanted to talk to him.

661
00:29:29,480 --> 00:29:32,040
Speaker 4: Okay, Getting into suspicious territory right.

662
00:29:32,040 --> 00:29:37,160
Speaker 1: Immediately not chill at all? Yeah, bigle and squeal and

663
00:29:37,200 --> 00:29:39,000
Speaker 1: say I've been waving to Joy.

664
00:29:39,760 --> 00:29:40,480
Speaker 5: Yeah.

665
00:29:40,520 --> 00:29:44,600
Speaker 1: And then actually he introduce you to my girlfriend right.

666
00:29:45,320 --> 00:29:47,680
Speaker 3: Finally, after seeing him at the Korean restaurant with me,

667
00:29:48,080 --> 00:29:51,480
Speaker 3: she decided to chat to him. June mentioned seeing his

668
00:29:51,480 --> 00:29:53,880
Speaker 3: car coming and going, and how much she loves k pop,

669
00:29:54,160 --> 00:29:58,120
Speaker 3: Asian customs and snacks, et cetera. Apparently, she was talking

670
00:29:58,200 --> 00:30:01,320
Speaker 3: like a runaway train about any and everything, mostly about

671
00:30:01,320 --> 00:30:05,040
Speaker 3: how much she likes Asian things. During this ambient conversation,

672
00:30:05,280 --> 00:30:08,240
Speaker 3: they walked into her apartment door so that she could

673
00:30:08,280 --> 00:30:11,120
Speaker 3: offload her bags. Alex said that he got off on

674
00:30:11,160 --> 00:30:13,760
Speaker 3: her floor as to not be rude by holding the elevator.

675
00:30:14,160 --> 00:30:16,880
Speaker 3: So the conversation turned to the apartment building and the

676
00:30:16,960 --> 00:30:20,480
Speaker 3: units themselves. My boyfriend's apartment is a two bedroom place

677
00:30:20,520 --> 00:30:22,360
Speaker 3: while hers is a single bedroom place, so at that

678
00:30:22,400 --> 00:30:24,400
Speaker 3: point they started talking about how the layout of the

679
00:30:24,400 --> 00:30:27,720
Speaker 3: two apartments differ. June invited herself to come look at

680
00:30:27,760 --> 00:30:31,719
Speaker 3: Alex's apartment, and him, being so kind, allowed her to

681
00:30:31,840 --> 00:30:33,800
Speaker 3: come and see it. It was at this point that

682
00:30:33,880 --> 00:30:35,720
Speaker 3: she mentioned that the person she put on hold in

683
00:30:35,720 --> 00:30:37,760
Speaker 3: the elevator was her mom, and that she just needed

684
00:30:37,760 --> 00:30:40,160
Speaker 3: to quickly end the call with her before coming over

685
00:30:40,240 --> 00:30:43,920
Speaker 3: to look at the apartment only after she was their

686
00:30:44,000 --> 00:30:47,440
Speaker 3: waitress where he saw him, she saw him with his girlfriend.

687
00:30:47,960 --> 00:30:51,840
Speaker 3: Did she think, Okay, now it's my time to eventually

688
00:30:52,160 --> 00:30:54,280
Speaker 3: find him in the apartment building and start talking to him.

689
00:30:54,720 --> 00:30:56,600
Speaker 3: It's not that she just kind of like saw him

690
00:30:56,640 --> 00:30:58,560
Speaker 3: and thought that they would be friends or something like that,

691
00:30:58,680 --> 00:31:02,160
Speaker 3: just like she probably would have kept holding herself back

692
00:31:02,480 --> 00:31:04,720
Speaker 3: if they didn't have this conversation starter.

693
00:31:05,440 --> 00:31:07,000
Speaker 4: This is weird. It's very weird.

694
00:31:07,040 --> 00:31:10,680
Speaker 8: This is weird, dude, It's very very It's weird, undeniably weird.

695
00:31:11,240 --> 00:31:14,160
Speaker 3: Alex said that June showed up ten minutes later with

696
00:31:14,240 --> 00:31:17,560
Speaker 3: some snacks in her phone charger, asking if asking him

697
00:31:17,600 --> 00:31:20,240
Speaker 3: if he'd mind if she charged her phone while they chat.

698
00:31:20,880 --> 00:31:24,160
Speaker 3: This chat turned into a two hour long conversation. I'm

699
00:31:24,200 --> 00:31:27,600
Speaker 3: like worried for his safety, not even just their relationship.

700
00:31:27,120 --> 00:31:27,840
Speaker 1: About everything.

701
00:31:27,880 --> 00:31:29,480
Speaker 8: I'd be like, oh my god, someone could just walk

702
00:31:29,520 --> 00:31:32,120
Speaker 8: down the street and next thing you know, he'd be like, hey, babe,

703
00:31:32,160 --> 00:31:35,200
Speaker 8: can I borrow some money? I accidentally drained my entire

704
00:31:35,320 --> 00:31:38,320
Speaker 8: bank account for somebody, just because they asked me to.

705
00:31:38,480 --> 00:31:40,680
Speaker 1: I guess, I don't know. I was talking to them

706
00:31:40,760 --> 00:31:41,800
Speaker 1: for forty five minutes.

707
00:31:41,840 --> 00:31:44,320
Speaker 8: The next thing I knew, I had signed them onto

708
00:31:44,400 --> 00:31:45,480
Speaker 8: all of my bank accounts.

709
00:31:45,560 --> 00:31:47,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, like, can you, uh, can you help me look

710
00:31:47,720 --> 00:31:49,680
Speaker 3: for a new place because this girl, like, we were

711
00:31:49,880 --> 00:31:52,479
Speaker 3: chatting and she just brought over a sleeping bag and said, oh,

712
00:31:52,520 --> 00:31:53,719
Speaker 3: can I stay here for a little bit now?

713
00:31:53,720 --> 00:31:54,240
Speaker 5: She won't leave.

714
00:31:54,880 --> 00:31:58,160
Speaker 3: So in this conversation, Alex discovered that June had recently

715
00:31:58,160 --> 00:32:00,760
Speaker 3: broken up with her ex boyfriend, who was also Asian.

716
00:32:00,880 --> 00:32:03,680
Speaker 3: Alex told me that during this conversation, he constantly mentioned

717
00:32:03,720 --> 00:32:05,760
Speaker 3: that he has a girlfriend and brought me and my

718
00:32:05,880 --> 00:32:08,800
Speaker 3: interests up constantly. He says that he kept telling her

719
00:32:08,920 --> 00:32:11,080
Speaker 3: how well she and I would get along as friends.

720
00:32:11,360 --> 00:32:14,360
Speaker 3: She only mentioned that she wants to be friends with him. However,

721
00:32:15,160 --> 00:32:18,200
Speaker 3: I was shocked by this situation, especially because it seemed

722
00:32:18,240 --> 00:32:20,960
Speaker 3: like June had no concept of boundaries since she'd been

723
00:32:21,040 --> 00:32:24,040
Speaker 3: watching him for weeks, invited herself over to his place

724
00:32:24,080 --> 00:32:26,600
Speaker 3: and hung up on her mom to talk to him,

725
00:32:26,640 --> 00:32:29,480
Speaker 3: and also because he only told me about the extent

726
00:32:29,520 --> 00:32:31,040
Speaker 3: of their conversation the next day.

727
00:32:31,560 --> 00:32:32,680
Speaker 4: But I didn't get angry.

728
00:32:32,800 --> 00:32:35,240
Speaker 3: I just had a conversation with Alex that this situation

729
00:32:35,320 --> 00:32:39,200
Speaker 3: is extremely uncomfortable and bit and a bit stockersh if

730
00:32:39,200 --> 00:32:42,480
Speaker 3: she'd been watching him for weeks. He wholeheartedly assured me

731
00:32:42,560 --> 00:32:45,320
Speaker 3: that it was innocent and that June just wanted to

732
00:32:45,360 --> 00:32:48,080
Speaker 3: be friends. I also told him that I'm happy for

733
00:32:48,160 --> 00:32:50,520
Speaker 3: him to make friends, and I'd give her a shot

734
00:32:50,560 --> 00:32:53,040
Speaker 3: at being friends as well, so long as the next

735
00:32:53,040 --> 00:32:55,000
Speaker 3: time they met up in person it was all of

736
00:32:55,080 --> 00:32:57,000
Speaker 3: us together, so that I could also get a feel

737
00:32:57,040 --> 00:32:59,720
Speaker 3: of her. The next time Alex told me about June

738
00:32:59,840 --> 00:33:01,640
Speaker 3: was to tell me that she had asked him out

739
00:33:01,680 --> 00:33:07,239
Speaker 3: on a date. This girl, this girl, clueless, clueless. So

740
00:33:07,360 --> 00:33:10,200
Speaker 3: to clarify, Alex doesn't see it as a date and

741
00:33:10,320 --> 00:33:13,280
Speaker 3: is playing it down. But the situation is as follows.

742
00:33:13,560 --> 00:33:15,280
Speaker 3: It was a Friday evening and she called him to

743
00:33:15,280 --> 00:33:17,240
Speaker 3: ask if he wanted to go to a fancy restaurant

744
00:33:17,240 --> 00:33:19,840
Speaker 3: with her, since she has a reservation for two and

745
00:33:19,880 --> 00:33:22,280
Speaker 3: the other person can't make it. Alex and I already

746
00:33:22,320 --> 00:33:25,440
Speaker 3: had our own dinner plans, so he declined. When Alex

747
00:33:25,480 --> 00:33:27,880
Speaker 3: told me about this, I was upset. You don't pay

748
00:33:27,960 --> 00:33:30,520
Speaker 3: for a reservation. There was no reason why she couldn't

749
00:33:30,560 --> 00:33:33,920
Speaker 3: go alone, cancel or postpone the reservation, or ask one

750
00:33:33,920 --> 00:33:36,000
Speaker 3: of her friends to go with. And the fact that

751
00:33:36,080 --> 00:33:38,600
Speaker 3: it was a reservation for two people on a Friday

752
00:33:38,720 --> 00:33:42,000
Speaker 3: night at a fancy restaurant set off alarm bells to me.

753
00:33:42,160 --> 00:33:45,479
Speaker 8: Yeah, she definitely made that reservation for the two of you.

754
00:33:45,680 --> 00:33:49,600
Speaker 3: My god, absolutely if she schemed this whole thing of like, oh,

755
00:33:50,080 --> 00:33:53,120
Speaker 3: like I'm I'm gonna hang up to talk to you,

756
00:33:54,040 --> 00:33:57,400
Speaker 3: but secretly to like go to your apartment. So of

757
00:33:57,400 --> 00:33:59,080
Speaker 3: course she can scheme with this thing.

758
00:33:59,120 --> 00:34:00,680
Speaker 4: It's such an easier scheme to do.

759
00:34:01,400 --> 00:34:05,400
Speaker 3: My goodness, So this situation upset me because Alex kept

760
00:34:05,440 --> 00:34:07,600
Speaker 3: trying to play it down as a friendly gesture and

761
00:34:07,640 --> 00:34:09,960
Speaker 3: told me that I'm wrong for labeling it as a date.

762
00:34:10,320 --> 00:34:12,120
Speaker 4: He kept saying that he already.

763
00:34:11,760 --> 00:34:14,319
Speaker 3: Told her that he has a girlfriend multiple times and

764
00:34:14,440 --> 00:34:16,640
Speaker 3: that she wouldn't make moves on him because he has

765
00:34:16,640 --> 00:34:19,359
Speaker 3: a girlfriend. I asked him to tell June that I

766
00:34:19,400 --> 00:34:22,040
Speaker 3: was uncomfortable with the situation and set a boundary with her.

767
00:34:22,400 --> 00:34:23,920
Speaker 4: He told me that he didn't want to.

768
00:34:23,880 --> 00:34:26,280
Speaker 3: Cause a scene or create drama, but that he won't

769
00:34:26,280 --> 00:34:29,640
Speaker 3: talk to her or befriend her. That upset me more

770
00:34:29,719 --> 00:34:32,000
Speaker 3: as well, because I feel like he's making me into

771
00:34:32,080 --> 00:34:34,560
Speaker 3: the barrier of not being able to be friends with

772
00:34:34,600 --> 00:34:37,080
Speaker 3: this girl, while my actual request was to set a

773
00:34:37,080 --> 00:34:40,080
Speaker 3: boundary que to This Friday, Alex and I were on

774
00:34:40,120 --> 00:34:42,480
Speaker 3: a short weekend vacation to the beach with some friends

775
00:34:42,520 --> 00:34:44,920
Speaker 3: of his. I'm quite tired, so I'm relaxing in the

776
00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:47,759
Speaker 3: room with the door open. Alex mentioned earlier that he

777
00:34:47,800 --> 00:34:50,000
Speaker 3: was posting some of the pictures to Instagram, and from

778
00:34:50,040 --> 00:34:52,040
Speaker 3: the room, I heard him chatting with his friend about

779
00:34:52,120 --> 00:34:54,799
Speaker 3: who had commented on his story since they have many

780
00:34:54,880 --> 00:34:57,920
Speaker 3: mutual friends. Then I hear Alex tell his friend it

781
00:34:57,920 --> 00:35:00,480
Speaker 3: feels like half our city is also hear this weekend.

782
00:35:01,040 --> 00:35:04,160
Speaker 3: His voice dropped to a whisper, but I still heard him.

783
00:35:04,560 --> 00:35:06,960
Speaker 3: There's a girl from my apartment complex here too, but

784
00:35:07,040 --> 00:35:08,160
Speaker 3: OP doesn't like her.

785
00:35:08,760 --> 00:35:10,000
Speaker 5: Uh oh, you're.

786
00:35:09,800 --> 00:35:13,560
Speaker 1: Being followed around my guy? Uh Oh, it is this

787
00:35:13,960 --> 00:35:17,959
Speaker 1: rage bait? Is there any man out there who's this oblivious?

788
00:35:18,520 --> 00:35:20,440
Speaker 3: At that moment, it felt like the fury of a

789
00:35:20,480 --> 00:35:23,560
Speaker 3: thousand suns entered my blood and I shot up to

790
00:35:23,680 --> 00:35:26,880
Speaker 3: enter the conversation. There's only one person in Alex's apartment

791
00:35:26,880 --> 00:35:29,680
Speaker 3: complex that he would describe as me not liking I

792
00:35:29,719 --> 00:35:31,960
Speaker 3: didn't even know that Alex had added her on Instagram,

793
00:35:31,960 --> 00:35:34,400
Speaker 3: and even more awful that it felt like he was

794
00:35:34,440 --> 00:35:38,000
Speaker 3: telling his friend my dislike of her was unwarranted. So

795
00:35:38,080 --> 00:35:40,600
Speaker 3: I entered the room and loudly said, that's because she

796
00:35:40,680 --> 00:35:42,520
Speaker 3: asked you out on a date. She had a date

797
00:35:42,560 --> 00:35:45,239
Speaker 3: reservation for two at a fancy restaurant and asked you.

798
00:35:45,760 --> 00:35:48,160
Speaker 3: He tried to downplay it again and said, no, it's

799
00:35:48,239 --> 00:35:51,480
Speaker 3: only because the other person couldn't come, and I reatter,

800
00:35:51,760 --> 00:35:56,319
Speaker 3: and I retaliated by saying, so she asked you. His

801
00:35:56,320 --> 00:35:59,360
Speaker 3: friend made a grimace, gave a chuckle, clearly not about

802
00:35:59,400 --> 00:36:02,040
Speaker 3: to take sides, and slid backwards into their room. I

803
00:36:02,080 --> 00:36:05,080
Speaker 3: asked Alex to explain, and apparently June had seen his

804
00:36:05,200 --> 00:36:08,240
Speaker 3: story and spoke to him about how she was also

805
00:36:08,360 --> 00:36:11,399
Speaker 3: in the area. It sounds innocent, but I didn't look

806
00:36:11,560 --> 00:36:13,719
Speaker 3: at the messages, so I don't know if she asked

807
00:36:13,760 --> 00:36:14,880
Speaker 3: him to meet up or anything.

808
00:36:15,080 --> 00:36:17,759
Speaker 4: The title was literally like, oh, she's just flirting with

809
00:36:17,800 --> 00:36:19,879
Speaker 4: my boyfriend. She's stocking him.

810
00:36:20,000 --> 00:36:23,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, she's watching his car come in and out of

811
00:36:23,120 --> 00:36:27,120
Speaker 3: the apartment, like talking to him about Asian culture and stuff.

812
00:36:27,200 --> 00:36:31,480
Speaker 3: When we don't necessarily know her racial background, but I'm

813
00:36:31,600 --> 00:36:33,719
Speaker 3: kind of assuming from how it was written that she's

814
00:36:33,760 --> 00:36:36,160
Speaker 3: not Asian, and she's just being really weird about that.

815
00:36:37,120 --> 00:36:39,120
Speaker 4: And then she's.

816
00:36:39,120 --> 00:36:43,200
Speaker 3: You guys go away for a weekend vacation and oh coincidentally,

817
00:36:43,239 --> 00:36:45,839
Speaker 3: oh my gosh, she's there too. The way I'm in town,

818
00:36:46,040 --> 00:36:48,319
Speaker 3: we should hang out, says a little bit more into

819
00:36:48,320 --> 00:36:50,920
Speaker 3: the story. So, because we were on vacation and I

820
00:36:50,960 --> 00:36:53,239
Speaker 3: didn't want to ruin the trip because of a seemingly

821
00:36:53,320 --> 00:36:56,520
Speaker 3: innocent Instagram DM, I decided to not press any further.

822
00:36:57,040 --> 00:36:59,839
Speaker 3: My modus operandi is to let things like this go.

823
00:37:00,120 --> 00:37:03,120
Speaker 3: But it's been days and I'm still super upset. I'm

824
00:37:03,200 --> 00:37:05,640
Speaker 3: upset that I'm not being taken seriously, and then I'm

825
00:37:05,840 --> 00:37:08,960
Speaker 3: being painted as the villain. I feel humiliated that I

826
00:37:09,000 --> 00:37:11,560
Speaker 3: needed to defend myself in front of his friend. I

827
00:37:11,560 --> 00:37:13,440
Speaker 3: feel like I'm being made into the problem, and I

828
00:37:13,480 --> 00:37:15,279
Speaker 3: don't know what to do about it. I feel like

829
00:37:15,280 --> 00:37:17,799
Speaker 3: I'm going crazy and blowing this up more than it

830
00:37:17,840 --> 00:37:20,320
Speaker 3: needs to be. How do I get my boyfriend to

831
00:37:20,360 --> 00:37:23,479
Speaker 3: take this more seriously? There are some comments coming. Number

832
00:37:23,480 --> 00:37:26,280
Speaker 3: one says, well, your boyfriend certainly is stretching your patience.

833
00:37:26,320 --> 00:37:29,160
Speaker 3: He sounds like a nice guy who likes attention and

834
00:37:29,320 --> 00:37:32,040
Speaker 3: is excusing it with I just like to make new friends.

835
00:37:32,520 --> 00:37:35,960
Speaker 3: What he is ignoring is you feel threatened and uncomfortable,

836
00:37:36,040 --> 00:37:38,160
Speaker 3: and that is just as respectful. I'm not saying my

837
00:37:38,200 --> 00:37:41,000
Speaker 3: boyfriend can have girlfriends, but I would definitely feel the

838
00:37:41,040 --> 00:37:43,520
Speaker 3: same way as you if it happened this way. I'm

839
00:37:43,520 --> 00:37:45,840
Speaker 3: not sure what you can do, because if he's not

840
00:37:45,960 --> 00:37:48,759
Speaker 3: willing to realize what he is doing is sketchy, he

841
00:37:48,840 --> 00:37:51,400
Speaker 3: will make you look like a bad guy and controlling

842
00:37:51,840 --> 00:37:55,799
Speaker 3: and OPI responds, he definitely has other girlfriends, some I'm

843
00:37:55,840 --> 00:37:58,239
Speaker 3: also friends with and some not who I don't have

844
00:37:58,280 --> 00:38:01,920
Speaker 3: problems with because they are genuinely friend. June's behavior doesn't

845
00:38:01,960 --> 00:38:04,120
Speaker 3: feel friendly to me, but I don't want to force

846
00:38:04,160 --> 00:38:06,839
Speaker 3: my decisions on my boyfriend of who he can and

847
00:38:06,880 --> 00:38:09,319
Speaker 3: can't associate with. I just want to talk. I just

848
00:38:09,360 --> 00:38:12,120
Speaker 3: want him to maybe set a boundary. I think currently

849
00:38:12,160 --> 00:38:14,760
Speaker 3: he's slipped into the mindset that if he leaves it alone,

850
00:38:14,800 --> 00:38:17,440
Speaker 3: the issue will go away. Coming number two says he

851
00:38:17,560 --> 00:38:20,960
Speaker 3: likes the attention, he knows she likes him. Just tell

852
00:38:21,040 --> 00:38:23,359
Speaker 3: him to set a boundary. If he doesn't tell him

853
00:38:23,360 --> 00:38:25,560
Speaker 3: that that's okay, and you'll just have your own guy

854
00:38:25,560 --> 00:38:28,080
Speaker 3: friends who only want to be friends with you, and

855
00:38:28,120 --> 00:38:30,120
Speaker 3: you'll have them over for hours at a time at

856
00:38:30,120 --> 00:38:32,320
Speaker 3: your place and that's the end of that story.

857
00:38:32,719 --> 00:38:35,160
Speaker 4: Well, yeah, what do you think of pe should do

858
00:38:35,200 --> 00:38:35,800
Speaker 4: in this situation?

859
00:38:36,880 --> 00:38:40,239
Speaker 8: I would be like, there's only two options here, Like

860
00:38:40,320 --> 00:38:44,160
Speaker 8: you're either so blind that you can't see this, or

861
00:38:44,280 --> 00:38:47,239
Speaker 8: you see it and you don't care, yeah, and you

862
00:38:47,400 --> 00:38:51,120
Speaker 8: like it. So either one of those gives me concern

863
00:38:51,200 --> 00:38:53,839
Speaker 8: about the future of our relationship, because if you are

864
00:38:53,960 --> 00:38:56,359
Speaker 8: so blind to something like this, what's the other thing

865
00:38:56,400 --> 00:38:57,680
Speaker 8: you're going to be blind about?

866
00:38:57,920 --> 00:38:58,120
Speaker 7: Right?

867
00:38:58,280 --> 00:38:58,400
Speaker 6: Like?

868
00:38:58,760 --> 00:38:59,600
Speaker 1: Where does this end?

869
00:38:59,600 --> 00:39:03,319
Speaker 8: Because this is just a common sense level of like

870
00:39:03,800 --> 00:39:05,160
Speaker 8: interaction with somebody.

871
00:39:05,360 --> 00:39:05,719
Speaker 4: Hm hmm.

872
00:39:06,200 --> 00:39:11,120
Speaker 8: It's like clearly not no, like come on, yeah, oh

873
00:39:11,440 --> 00:39:12,520
Speaker 8: can I see your apartment?

874
00:39:13,239 --> 00:39:13,719
Speaker 1: Yeah?

875
00:39:13,760 --> 00:39:15,719
Speaker 8: And then she's there for two hours? Why are you

876
00:39:15,760 --> 00:39:16,720
Speaker 8: talking to her for two hours?

877
00:39:16,760 --> 00:39:18,480
Speaker 1: You have a Girlfriendly, you're like, oh, he told her

878
00:39:18,520 --> 00:39:19,160
Speaker 1: I have a girlfriend.

879
00:39:19,400 --> 00:39:21,319
Speaker 8: It's like yeah, but shouldn't you feel weird that there's

880
00:39:21,320 --> 00:39:24,520
Speaker 8: some strange girl who went like as soon as she

881
00:39:24,560 --> 00:39:26,200
Speaker 8: found out you wanted to talk to her.

882
00:39:26,360 --> 00:39:27,479
Speaker 1: By the way, that was.

883
00:39:27,760 --> 00:39:30,200
Speaker 3: She cuts you alone in an elevator and she was

884
00:39:30,239 --> 00:39:32,080
Speaker 3: able to talk to you finally and.

885
00:39:32,120 --> 00:39:34,359
Speaker 1: Is following you around wherever you're going on this trip.

886
00:39:34,360 --> 00:39:35,000
Speaker 1: It's like, it's.

887
00:39:34,840 --> 00:39:36,880
Speaker 4: Crazy, it brings Yeah.

888
00:39:37,040 --> 00:39:39,440
Speaker 8: So if you can't, and if you can't, just respect

889
00:39:39,440 --> 00:39:40,760
Speaker 8: the fact that I your girlfriend.

890
00:39:40,800 --> 00:39:44,080
Speaker 1: I'm uncomfortable by this dynamic you have. It's like, oh,

891
00:39:44,120 --> 00:39:45,640
Speaker 1: my girlfriend doesn't like her.

892
00:39:46,120 --> 00:39:48,799
Speaker 8: Yeah, it's like I'm breaking up with you just because you're.

893
00:39:48,760 --> 00:39:51,719
Speaker 1: Dumb, right right, Sorry, Hey it's Sam. We're gonna get

894
00:39:51,719 --> 00:39:52,440
Speaker 1: back to these stories.

895
00:39:52,480 --> 00:39:54,360
Speaker 8: But here's three of bits of bads from our sponsors

896
00:39:54,400 --> 00:39:55,240
Speaker 8: that keep the show alive.

897
00:39:55,920 --> 00:39:59,960
Speaker 7: I'm suspicious of my brother's girlfriend, so I started investing

898
00:40:00,120 --> 00:40:00,560
Speaker 7: gating her.

899
00:40:00,920 --> 00:40:02,800
Speaker 5: Is she part of the FBI?

900
00:40:03,080 --> 00:40:06,560
Speaker 7: My younger brother, Adam, had a rough childhood to say

901
00:40:06,600 --> 00:40:09,319
Speaker 7: the least. Our father passed away when he was under

902
00:40:09,360 --> 00:40:13,680
Speaker 7: ten from our mother. Is likely bipolar, but definitely has

903
00:40:13,760 --> 00:40:17,360
Speaker 7: self absorbed tendencies. I'm older by a decade and did

904
00:40:17,680 --> 00:40:20,240
Speaker 7: what I could when I could for him, but basically

905
00:40:20,280 --> 00:40:23,440
Speaker 7: I failed to protect him and didn't understand what he needed.

906
00:40:23,520 --> 00:40:27,400
Speaker 7: All that to say that his decent into heavy drinking

907
00:40:27,600 --> 00:40:30,960
Speaker 7: wasn't surprised. It was expected. A couple of years ago,

908
00:40:31,280 --> 00:40:35,120
Speaker 7: he had an incident that caused him to be hospitalized. Oh,

909
00:40:35,160 --> 00:40:37,600
Speaker 7: and he began his recovery in sobriety. By the way,

910
00:40:37,719 --> 00:40:40,040
Speaker 7: this comes from Recognition Dry sixty six and if you

911
00:40:40,040 --> 00:40:41,320
Speaker 7: want to some of your own stories, go to the

912
00:40:41,360 --> 00:40:42,880
Speaker 7: art slash okay stories on Subreddit.

913
00:40:43,120 --> 00:40:45,240
Speaker 4: I'm Riley, I'm Sophia, and I'm Angie.

914
00:40:45,320 --> 00:40:49,359
Speaker 7: He's over two years clean. Now let's go hugely due

915
00:40:49,400 --> 00:40:52,440
Speaker 7: to the new relationship he started months after his incident

916
00:40:52,680 --> 00:40:56,040
Speaker 7: with a kind hearted, lovely woman, I'll collor Eve. He

917
00:40:56,200 --> 00:40:59,040
Speaker 7: brought Eve over to meet us shortly after they met,

918
00:40:59,120 --> 00:41:02,279
Speaker 7: and she's been a welcome part of our family. She

919
00:41:02,400 --> 00:41:05,879
Speaker 7: makes gifts for my kids in treats. She's always fun

920
00:41:05,920 --> 00:41:09,880
Speaker 7: to speak to, and her quirkiness fits in beautifully are

921
00:41:10,719 --> 00:41:12,520
Speaker 7: As we've gotten to know her, we've learned about her

922
00:41:12,520 --> 00:41:15,320
Speaker 7: traumatic her life has been. They're kind of trauma bonded,

923
00:41:15,480 --> 00:41:18,440
Speaker 7: but she's so understanding and empathetic. She told us about

924
00:41:18,480 --> 00:41:21,160
Speaker 7: her twin who passed away in high school, how her

925
00:41:21,200 --> 00:41:25,080
Speaker 7: siblings and parents loved him more and treated her badly

926
00:41:25,239 --> 00:41:28,400
Speaker 7: as the survivor was always less than no.

927
00:41:28,840 --> 00:41:30,160
Speaker 5: This is next to normal.

928
00:41:30,800 --> 00:41:33,400
Speaker 7: She also had another brother who passed away in war

929
00:41:33,520 --> 00:41:37,200
Speaker 7: in Iraq, who became the golden child. After twin past,

930
00:41:37,400 --> 00:41:40,200
Speaker 7: she couldn't seem to gain her mother's approval or attention,

931
00:41:40,600 --> 00:41:43,920
Speaker 7: and we bonded over those feelings of not being wanted

932
00:41:44,040 --> 00:41:46,759
Speaker 7: or good enough. She told us she was originally from Scotland.

933
00:41:47,040 --> 00:41:49,680
Speaker 7: Her father was a sheep farmer who moved to America

934
00:41:49,760 --> 00:41:52,640
Speaker 7: to buy a cattle farm because of the Cowboy movies,

935
00:41:52,719 --> 00:41:57,000
Speaker 7: so she has Doyle citizenship siick. She also said because

936
00:41:57,000 --> 00:42:01,080
Speaker 7: of this, she spoke sixteen languages, worked at a college,

937
00:42:01,080 --> 00:42:05,200
Speaker 7: and had multiple degrees too. Overall, she was incredibly nice

938
00:42:05,239 --> 00:42:08,080
Speaker 7: and took care of Adam and seems super well educated

939
00:42:08,160 --> 00:42:12,040
Speaker 7: and proper. Sometimes she had her Scottish accent to because

940
00:42:12,160 --> 00:42:14,560
Speaker 7: she's been around her family. Then she started to tell

941
00:42:14,640 --> 00:42:17,319
Speaker 7: us about her past relationships. Three divorces.

942
00:42:18,400 --> 00:42:19,479
Speaker 5: How old is this girl?

943
00:42:19,760 --> 00:42:20,680
Speaker 7: Dude? I don't even know?

944
00:42:21,680 --> 00:42:26,800
Speaker 6: Okay, Oh, Angela Connolly has lies? I bet all lies.

945
00:42:26,880 --> 00:42:27,160
Speaker 1: Yeah.

946
00:42:27,280 --> 00:42:30,759
Speaker 7: Also, if someone has like this many divorces, where's the

947
00:42:30,800 --> 00:42:31,719
Speaker 7: common denominator?

948
00:42:31,960 --> 00:42:32,040
Speaker 8: Like?

949
00:42:32,200 --> 00:42:34,160
Speaker 7: Is it the people she's choosing or is it her

950
00:42:34,400 --> 00:42:34,839
Speaker 7: kind of thing?

951
00:42:34,920 --> 00:42:38,480
Speaker 6: I don't imagine that. She does have some a lot

952
00:42:38,600 --> 00:42:40,000
Speaker 6: of trauma.

953
00:42:39,640 --> 00:42:42,080
Speaker 7: And she goes after a certain type of person.

954
00:42:41,760 --> 00:42:44,640
Speaker 5: And maybe seeks a lot of you.

955
00:42:44,600 --> 00:42:45,880
Speaker 7: Know, blighty issues.

956
00:42:46,120 --> 00:42:49,120
Speaker 6: Yeah, she's looking for like people to tell her that,

957
00:42:49,400 --> 00:42:50,000
Speaker 6: you know what's the.

958
00:42:49,920 --> 00:42:52,200
Speaker 7: Word, She's important, She's loved, I guess.

959
00:42:52,239 --> 00:42:52,479
Speaker 1: Yeah.

960
00:42:53,239 --> 00:42:57,720
Speaker 7: One was from a person who had gender reassignment surgery,

961
00:42:57,800 --> 00:43:01,480
Speaker 7: the other passed away, and the last is another awful

962
00:43:01,560 --> 00:43:04,719
Speaker 7: dude felt like after two years of knowing her, she

963
00:43:04,840 --> 00:43:07,480
Speaker 7: was a great fit. So last week, when they had

964
00:43:07,520 --> 00:43:10,439
Speaker 7: a bad argument, I tried to reassure Adam had come

965
00:43:10,480 --> 00:43:12,680
Speaker 7: over to talk to him, and he told me that

966
00:43:12,760 --> 00:43:15,440
Speaker 7: she had lied to him about not speaking to a

967
00:43:15,480 --> 00:43:18,279
Speaker 7: friend of hers anymore, some guy who is apparently a

968
00:43:18,320 --> 00:43:20,960
Speaker 7: popular guy in high school. She lied because she didn't

969
00:43:21,000 --> 00:43:23,919
Speaker 7: want to believe he wasn't a good guy, because she's

970
00:43:23,960 --> 00:43:27,200
Speaker 7: had so much bad luck with men. Adam was struggling

971
00:43:27,239 --> 00:43:29,759
Speaker 7: to move past the line, but wanted to work it out,

972
00:43:30,000 --> 00:43:32,919
Speaker 7: and I supported him in whatever he does. I talked

973
00:43:32,920 --> 00:43:35,600
Speaker 7: to my husband about it, and he asked the most

974
00:43:35,640 --> 00:43:39,040
Speaker 7: basic question, how does she have a high school popular

975
00:43:39,160 --> 00:43:42,680
Speaker 7: kid here in town if she was raised in Oklahoma

976
00:43:43,000 --> 00:43:44,720
Speaker 7: on a cattle farm.

977
00:43:44,880 --> 00:43:47,319
Speaker 6: It was it Angela Connolly who said all eyes was

978
00:43:47,320 --> 00:43:50,920
Speaker 6: it angela' connell. Has she ever actually said Do we

979
00:43:50,960 --> 00:43:53,240
Speaker 6: have any proof that she actually knows sixteen languages?

980
00:43:53,640 --> 00:43:55,560
Speaker 1: Is she faking a Skylish accent?

981
00:43:56,080 --> 00:43:59,160
Speaker 6: Is this o Pa saying that this is talking about

982
00:43:59,160 --> 00:44:01,040
Speaker 6: his brother and his brother's partner.

983
00:44:01,160 --> 00:44:04,520
Speaker 7: Okay, honestly, I have PTSD, so my brain sometimes gets

984
00:44:04,560 --> 00:44:07,280
Speaker 7: mixed up. I assume I was wrong. It turned over

985
00:44:07,480 --> 00:44:09,640
Speaker 7: and over in my head though, for a couple of days.

986
00:44:09,640 --> 00:44:12,360
Speaker 7: I finally caved while my husband played video games and

987
00:44:12,400 --> 00:44:14,879
Speaker 7: began with casual search into her. I googled her name

988
00:44:15,120 --> 00:44:17,600
Speaker 7: and her address came up. Then I realized her history

989
00:44:17,600 --> 00:44:21,160
Speaker 7: of addresses were all in America, all going back pretty far.

990
00:44:21,440 --> 00:44:24,520
Speaker 7: So I checked her parents and their address went back

991
00:44:24,719 --> 00:44:27,200
Speaker 7: in America to before she was born.

992
00:44:27,480 --> 00:44:31,760
Speaker 6: Insane that she was putting on a fake Scottish accent.

993
00:44:31,960 --> 00:44:35,480
Speaker 4: That's crazy, insane. She's doing like a whole genealogy.

994
00:44:35,840 --> 00:44:37,400
Speaker 5: Was it a good accent?

995
00:44:37,920 --> 00:44:38,960
Speaker 4: Get this girl out of here.

996
00:44:39,080 --> 00:44:41,000
Speaker 6: I need to know if you guys were just gollible.

997
00:44:41,360 --> 00:44:44,200
Speaker 6: But also if someone came up to me and started

998
00:44:44,239 --> 00:44:46,400
Speaker 6: doing an accent and they're like, yeah, I'm you know,

999
00:44:46,520 --> 00:44:49,120
Speaker 6: I'm from Scotland from Glass School, and it was like.

1000
00:44:49,120 --> 00:44:49,640
Speaker 5: Kind of bad.

1001
00:44:49,640 --> 00:44:54,520
Speaker 6: I wouldn't be like you faking it. I would kind

1002
00:44:54,520 --> 00:44:55,880
Speaker 6: of give them the benefit of the doubts.

1003
00:44:55,920 --> 00:44:58,920
Speaker 7: So yeah, I was so confused. I googled them and

1004
00:44:59,000 --> 00:45:03,000
Speaker 7: found recent obituaries of her grandparents on both sides. They're

1005
00:45:03,040 --> 00:45:06,719
Speaker 7: all from America, and they only mention three kids by

1006
00:45:06,760 --> 00:45:11,560
Speaker 7: her parents. Ever, obituaries usually list proceeding in passing, and

1007
00:45:11,719 --> 00:45:15,560
Speaker 7: these do. But no grandkids in that list, no additional

1008
00:45:15,600 --> 00:45:19,520
Speaker 7: brothers of hers. Not only that, but she lived at

1009
00:45:19,560 --> 00:45:22,640
Speaker 7: the same address her whole life in Kansas. I looked

1010
00:45:22,640 --> 00:45:24,480
Speaker 7: it up on a map and found the high school

1011
00:45:24,520 --> 00:45:28,720
Speaker 7: nearby and searched the yearbook. Found her twelfth grade, no twin,

1012
00:45:29,280 --> 00:45:32,720
Speaker 7: but he passed away. So I checked ninth grade, also

1013
00:45:32,920 --> 00:45:33,800
Speaker 7: no twin.

1014
00:45:34,520 --> 00:45:36,719
Speaker 5: Dang, no twin? Did you ever?

1015
00:45:36,920 --> 00:45:39,239
Speaker 7: I dug the more proof of lies. What do we

1016
00:45:39,280 --> 00:45:40,000
Speaker 7: do at this point?

1017
00:45:40,160 --> 00:45:42,080
Speaker 6: So we get I don't know what language she knows.

1018
00:45:42,120 --> 00:45:45,640
Speaker 6: I'm gonna assume French, Spanish. Get a French person. You

1019
00:45:45,640 --> 00:45:47,439
Speaker 6: could probably find a person who speaks French.

1020
00:45:47,440 --> 00:45:50,200
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, comes over. You invite them over for dinner.

1021
00:45:50,360 --> 00:45:52,200
Speaker 4: You're like, hey, my friend knows French.

1022
00:45:52,640 --> 00:46:00,000
Speaker 6: They start speaking French, blancue, blue.

1023
00:45:58,680 --> 00:46:00,680
Speaker 5: Et cetera. And then you but you drive it home.

1024
00:46:02,360 --> 00:46:04,280
Speaker 7: You also invited someone that speaks German.

1025
00:46:04,400 --> 00:46:06,320
Speaker 6: I hate you because I was about to say that literally,

1026
00:46:06,640 --> 00:46:08,680
Speaker 6: and then you time out and finished exactly what I

1027
00:46:08,719 --> 00:46:09,239
Speaker 6: was saying to say.

1028
00:46:09,280 --> 00:46:10,520
Speaker 7: Maybe I just knew what you were about to say.

1029
00:46:10,560 --> 00:46:11,359
Speaker 5: Okay, I'll take that.

1030
00:46:12,200 --> 00:46:16,279
Speaker 7: Only two marriages on record, still both alive. One did

1031
00:46:16,360 --> 00:46:18,880
Speaker 7: change names for mel in the marriage to female and

1032
00:46:18,960 --> 00:46:21,640
Speaker 7: the divorce, but that seems to be the only true

1033
00:46:21,719 --> 00:46:25,000
Speaker 7: thing she's ever said. It's absolutely shocking. Finally, my husband

1034
00:46:25,000 --> 00:46:27,520
Speaker 7: said I had to tell Adam I wasn't against it,

1035
00:46:27,719 --> 00:46:29,600
Speaker 7: and then as the pile got larger, I said it

1036
00:46:29,600 --> 00:46:32,120
Speaker 7: was an in person conversation. He insisted it needed to

1037
00:46:32,160 --> 00:46:34,520
Speaker 7: be done, so I put it all together into a

1038
00:46:34,560 --> 00:46:38,400
Speaker 7: document and message Adham. I asked a few clarifying questions

1039
00:46:38,520 --> 00:46:41,400
Speaker 7: about the twin and the ex husbands. I apologize and

1040
00:46:41,440 --> 00:46:43,799
Speaker 7: provided the information to him and hoped I was wrong.

1041
00:46:43,920 --> 00:46:46,160
Speaker 7: Within ten minutes of sending it to him, he said

1042
00:46:46,440 --> 00:46:49,439
Speaker 7: that she admitted everything to him. He's absolutely lost now,

1043
00:46:49,840 --> 00:46:53,400
Speaker 7: two whole years, so many many lies. I'm just baffled.

1044
00:46:53,400 --> 00:46:56,040
Speaker 7: Wine like, if they ever got married, would it have

1045
00:46:56,080 --> 00:46:59,560
Speaker 7: been revealed so quickly as it stands, she's been able

1046
00:46:59,600 --> 00:47:02,600
Speaker 7: to keep him away from her family by allowing them

1047
00:47:02,640 --> 00:47:05,960
Speaker 7: to disrespect their age gap. He's noticeably more younger than her.

1048
00:47:06,040 --> 00:47:09,400
Speaker 7: She refused that I never got ages. Okay. She refused

1049
00:47:09,400 --> 00:47:12,000
Speaker 7: to go to an uncle's funeral earlier this year because

1050
00:47:12,280 --> 00:47:16,319
Speaker 7: she claimed he was awful. I hate questioning that, but

1051
00:47:16,480 --> 00:47:20,000
Speaker 7: maybe she just didn't want Adam to find out that

1052
00:47:20,080 --> 00:47:23,400
Speaker 7: her uncle was born and raised in Kansas, not Scotland,

1053
00:47:23,600 --> 00:47:26,120
Speaker 7: and so was her dad. She was here with my

1054
00:47:26,320 --> 00:47:30,240
Speaker 7: kids having them fill a wound scarf from an incident

1055
00:47:30,280 --> 00:47:34,360
Speaker 7: that never happened. There's no criminal records for either of

1056
00:47:34,360 --> 00:47:38,720
Speaker 7: the exes. There's none for her either, thankfully, but good lord,

1057
00:47:38,880 --> 00:47:41,520
Speaker 7: I wish I could have put the cat back and

1058
00:47:41,600 --> 00:47:44,239
Speaker 7: the bag on this one. Why lie, Why didn't I

1059
00:47:44,360 --> 00:47:47,200
Speaker 7: check her background sooner? I literally checked the kids, my

1060
00:47:47,320 --> 00:47:49,880
Speaker 7: kids day in high school, to make sure their parents

1061
00:47:49,920 --> 00:47:52,279
Speaker 7: aren't on a registry or anything. I should have checked

1062
00:47:52,320 --> 00:47:55,520
Speaker 7: with her much sooner. Now the life and family they

1063
00:47:55,560 --> 00:47:57,920
Speaker 7: were building is in ruins, and I'm terrified of him

1064
00:47:57,920 --> 00:48:01,400
Speaker 7: losing his sobriety. I'm feeling really guilt for looking it

1065
00:48:01,520 --> 00:48:03,960
Speaker 7: up and telling him too. Not sure I did the

1066
00:48:04,040 --> 00:48:05,799
Speaker 7: right thing. Because he's heartbroken.

1067
00:48:06,920 --> 00:48:08,319
Speaker 1: An update thing, What do you mean?

1068
00:48:08,480 --> 00:48:09,840
Speaker 5: What are you talking about, Opie?

1069
00:48:10,400 --> 00:48:13,880
Speaker 6: Your brother's girlfriend learned about everything about herself.

1070
00:48:14,040 --> 00:48:15,480
Speaker 7: She kind of does a little update, but I'm just

1071
00:48:15,480 --> 00:48:18,279
Speaker 7: gonna geto it. We have an update, so to catch up.

1072
00:48:18,600 --> 00:48:21,160
Speaker 7: Brother's girlfriend of two years was lying about her past

1073
00:48:21,280 --> 00:48:24,359
Speaker 7: from the traumatic passing of made up twin, made up

1074
00:48:24,400 --> 00:48:27,800
Speaker 7: older brother, two ex husbands who are still very much alive,

1075
00:48:28,040 --> 00:48:31,520
Speaker 7: a made up ex fiance, to inventing having multiple degrees

1076
00:48:31,560 --> 00:48:32,680
Speaker 7: and speaking sixteen.

1077
00:48:32,440 --> 00:48:34,680
Speaker 5: Languages about the first one. Though that was the truth,

1078
00:48:34,760 --> 00:48:35,120
Speaker 5: but she.

1079
00:48:35,120 --> 00:48:36,600
Speaker 7: Was probably like, Oh, I can get away with this,

1080
00:48:36,640 --> 00:48:38,680
Speaker 7: so I'm gonna keep making lies up like this. When

1081
00:48:38,680 --> 00:48:41,000
Speaker 7: I posted, I had uncovered some of the lies and

1082
00:48:41,160 --> 00:48:43,719
Speaker 7: forward the proof to my brother Adam. She had come

1083
00:48:43,800 --> 00:48:46,560
Speaker 7: clean immediately and taken him to visit her parents to

1084
00:48:46,640 --> 00:48:51,080
Speaker 7: explain it. She has an untreated borderline personality disorder apparently.

1085
00:48:51,320 --> 00:48:52,680
Speaker 5: Yeah, that makes sense.

1086
00:48:53,440 --> 00:48:55,040
Speaker 4: Okay, I feel like we could tell you that.

1087
00:48:55,160 --> 00:48:56,880
Speaker 5: I yeah, I could have diagnosed you.

1088
00:48:57,120 --> 00:48:59,160
Speaker 7: Oh boy, I couldn't have. My brother, who I call

1089
00:48:59,239 --> 00:49:02,799
Speaker 7: Adam for this is a recovering heavy drinker with a

1090
00:49:02,920 --> 00:49:05,879
Speaker 7: huge art. He was absolutely determined to stay with her

1091
00:49:06,040 --> 00:49:09,240
Speaker 7: and not toss her aside for being human. He thought

1092
00:49:09,480 --> 00:49:11,839
Speaker 7: this was the righteous and noble thing to do, not

1093
00:49:11,880 --> 00:49:14,759
Speaker 7: to discard someone who is struggling or damaged in their

1094
00:49:14,800 --> 00:49:17,759
Speaker 7: time of need. Okay, but like they fabricated everything that

1095
00:49:17,800 --> 00:49:18,680
Speaker 7: you know about them.

1096
00:49:19,080 --> 00:49:22,680
Speaker 5: She lied to you. You don't know her, you know

1097
00:49:22,800 --> 00:49:24,320
Speaker 5: her zero amount.

1098
00:49:24,600 --> 00:49:25,280
Speaker 4: It's crazy.

1099
00:49:25,480 --> 00:49:28,680
Speaker 3: She had to lie about every single detail in her

1100
00:49:28,760 --> 00:49:30,440
Speaker 3: life just to get you to love.

1101
00:49:30,320 --> 00:49:32,520
Speaker 7: Her, and then within that had to throw in a

1102
00:49:32,520 --> 00:49:33,360
Speaker 7: Scottish accent.

1103
00:49:33,920 --> 00:49:35,759
Speaker 4: Yes, you don't even know what she said.

1104
00:49:35,800 --> 00:49:40,000
Speaker 6: She canonically threw in a Scottish accent that was in

1105
00:49:40,040 --> 00:49:41,000
Speaker 6: the story.

1106
00:49:40,800 --> 00:49:41,640
Speaker 7: Around your kids.

1107
00:49:41,640 --> 00:49:42,000
Speaker 8: Opeach.

1108
00:49:42,200 --> 00:49:43,279
Speaker 5: She said she would.

1109
00:49:43,040 --> 00:49:45,600
Speaker 6: Go home to her family and come back with a

1110
00:49:45,680 --> 00:49:46,920
Speaker 6: Scottish accent.

1111
00:49:47,400 --> 00:49:47,840
Speaker 3: Crazy.

1112
00:49:48,440 --> 00:49:49,680
Speaker 5: That's insane.

1113
00:49:49,960 --> 00:49:51,880
Speaker 4: Oh my god, that's insane.

1114
00:49:52,239 --> 00:49:56,520
Speaker 5: This is like everyone makes mistakes. She fundamentally lied about everything.

1115
00:49:56,760 --> 00:49:59,560
Speaker 7: Yes, it's sort of like degrease of murder. You have

1116
00:49:59,640 --> 00:50:01,760
Speaker 7: third de We're like, oh, what happened on accident?

1117
00:50:01,800 --> 00:50:01,920
Speaker 8: Right?

1118
00:50:01,960 --> 00:50:03,400
Speaker 5: Was premeditated?

1119
00:50:03,719 --> 00:50:06,480
Speaker 7: Yeah, this is premeditated. My Husan and I were determined

1120
00:50:06,520 --> 00:50:09,160
Speaker 7: to support him regardless of his choice, because we love him.

1121
00:50:09,239 --> 00:50:11,400
Speaker 7: She told him she could never be around us again

1122
00:50:11,560 --> 00:50:12,680
Speaker 7: and was scared of us.

1123
00:50:13,160 --> 00:50:14,840
Speaker 4: I'm scared, don't bring them around me.

1124
00:50:15,000 --> 00:50:17,839
Speaker 7: We assured him that we would never be rude to

1125
00:50:17,880 --> 00:50:21,160
Speaker 7: anyone he dated, and that we were more than capable

1126
00:50:21,239 --> 00:50:24,000
Speaker 7: of being around her. I genuinely think when she realized

1127
00:50:24,000 --> 00:50:26,239
Speaker 7: that we weren't going to let her isolate him by

1128
00:50:26,239 --> 00:50:28,480
Speaker 7: pretending like she had a reason to fear us, it

1129
00:50:28,600 --> 00:50:30,959
Speaker 7: was over for her. It lasted only a week after

1130
00:50:31,000 --> 00:50:34,560
Speaker 7: our dinner with him, where we showed him unconditional support

1131
00:50:34,800 --> 00:50:39,600
Speaker 7: and reminded him that he was a victim repeatedly. Following week,

1132
00:50:39,760 --> 00:50:42,439
Speaker 7: she went out with friends to a bar. He asked

1133
00:50:42,480 --> 00:50:45,640
Speaker 7: where she went and with who, since this whole thing

1134
00:50:45,719 --> 00:50:48,640
Speaker 7: started because she was lying about not hanging out with

1135
00:50:48,760 --> 00:50:52,440
Speaker 7: some knucklehead that didn't respect my brother or their relationship.

1136
00:50:52,560 --> 00:50:55,080
Speaker 7: She said that since she didn't have to show Adam

1137
00:50:55,120 --> 00:50:58,920
Speaker 7: anything to prove where she had been and that she

1138
00:50:59,280 --> 00:51:02,600
Speaker 7: can't heal like this, she expected to play the victim

1139
00:51:02,640 --> 00:51:05,160
Speaker 7: to him. Of course she did, as if him asking

1140
00:51:05,200 --> 00:51:08,360
Speaker 7: for accountability and transparency was him being controlling.

1141
00:51:08,680 --> 00:51:11,279
Speaker 6: But at that point like breakup. You know, like, I

1142
00:51:11,280 --> 00:51:14,880
Speaker 6: don't think Adam is at all unreasonable, but if you

1143
00:51:14,920 --> 00:51:16,759
Speaker 6: do have to ask for that level of things, it's

1144
00:51:16,800 --> 00:51:18,919
Speaker 6: like just break up, break up, dude, Like, you don't

1145
00:51:18,960 --> 00:51:19,919
Speaker 6: know anything about this woman.

1146
00:51:20,239 --> 00:51:22,719
Speaker 7: Then he said that he can't be in a relationship

1147
00:51:22,760 --> 00:51:25,719
Speaker 7: where he can't trust someone. She was clearly hiding who

1148
00:51:25,760 --> 00:51:30,040
Speaker 7: she was and was with yes, all right. In response,

1149
00:51:30,080 --> 00:51:32,480
Speaker 7: she gave him thirty days to move out, and guys,

1150
00:51:32,520 --> 00:51:34,919
Speaker 7: there's a little bit left here any other thoughts.

1151
00:51:35,640 --> 00:51:38,719
Speaker 6: I mean, it just really feels like this guy went

1152
00:51:38,760 --> 00:51:39,120
Speaker 6: to her.

1153
00:51:39,400 --> 00:51:41,359
Speaker 5: And he's like, I just feel like I don't even

1154
00:51:41,440 --> 00:51:41,759
Speaker 5: know you.

1155
00:51:42,120 --> 00:51:43,960
Speaker 6: Yeah, And if I were there, if I were watching

1156
00:51:44,000 --> 00:51:47,280
Speaker 6: the TV, I'd be throwing things. I'd be throwing the remote,

1157
00:51:47,320 --> 00:51:49,640
Speaker 6: I'd be throwing popworn at him, being like, oh.

1158
00:51:49,640 --> 00:51:52,919
Speaker 4: God, you don't know, you never knew.

1159
00:51:53,600 --> 00:51:55,560
Speaker 5: Yeah, she lied about everything.

1160
00:51:57,320 --> 00:52:00,879
Speaker 7: So this weekend we are moving him into his own place. He's,

1161
00:52:00,920 --> 00:52:03,680
Speaker 7: of course, still reeling from the whiplash of whatever the

1162
00:52:03,719 --> 00:52:06,680
Speaker 7: heck the last two years of lies have been with

1163
00:52:06,760 --> 00:52:09,319
Speaker 7: a woman he thought he would marry. He has a

1164
00:52:09,360 --> 00:52:12,879
Speaker 7: strong support system, though, and he's absolutely going to get

1165
00:52:12,920 --> 00:52:16,319
Speaker 7: through this. He's even quit smoking during that. Wow, holy count,

1166
00:52:16,360 --> 00:52:18,960
Speaker 7: I thought you'd start drinking, which I could not imagine

1167
00:52:18,960 --> 00:52:21,080
Speaker 7: trying to do in this level of chaos. But he

1168
00:52:21,160 --> 00:52:21,720
Speaker 7: is determined.

1169
00:52:21,880 --> 00:52:24,759
Speaker 6: Ah Yeah, He's like, I don't know anything about her,

1170
00:52:24,880 --> 00:52:26,480
Speaker 6: so maybe I don't know anything about myself.

1171
00:52:26,640 --> 00:52:29,239
Speaker 5: Yeah, and I can reinvent myself exactly.

1172
00:52:29,800 --> 00:52:32,840
Speaker 7: Thank you to everyone for the device and support. Please

1173
00:52:32,920 --> 00:52:36,200
Speaker 7: don't be gullible like we were. And if something sounds

1174
00:52:36,239 --> 00:52:37,960
Speaker 7: too good to be true, probably is.

1175
00:52:38,600 --> 00:52:41,680
Speaker 6: No someone ever tells you that they know sixteen languages,

1176
00:52:41,719 --> 00:52:42,759
Speaker 6: ask them to prove it.

1177
00:52:43,440 --> 00:52:43,920
Speaker 7: Prove it.

1178
00:52:44,120 --> 00:52:44,719
Speaker 1: Hey, it's John here.

1179
00:52:44,760 --> 00:52:45,760
Speaker 7: We're gonna get back to the stories.

1180
00:52:45,800 --> 00:52:47,760
Speaker 8: Put a quick three minute ad break from our sponsors

1181
00:52:47,760 --> 00:52:51,320
Speaker 8: that keep the show going. My previous boss was a terror,

1182
00:52:51,400 --> 00:52:56,360
Speaker 8: but now I'm finally free. Ah h Twenty seven females

1183
00:52:56,400 --> 00:52:59,960
Speaker 8: started working for a small one attorney law office three

1184
00:53:00,200 --> 00:53:02,800
Speaker 8: years ago. I was very excited to work there because

1185
00:53:02,840 --> 00:53:06,600
Speaker 8: I believed in the cause. I immediately noticed the vibe was

1186
00:53:06,640 --> 00:53:09,800
Speaker 8: off about my boss thirty seven female, but I didn't

1187
00:53:09,840 --> 00:53:12,560
Speaker 8: take the opportunity to run right away. By the way,

1188
00:53:12,680 --> 00:53:15,120
Speaker 8: this comes from user No Frosting two fifty five, and

1189
00:53:15,120 --> 00:53:17,280
Speaker 8: you can submit your own stories on the r slash

1190
00:53:17,320 --> 00:53:18,920
Speaker 8: Okay storytime subredit.

1191
00:53:18,560 --> 00:53:20,280
Speaker 1: And let's see what ops to say.

1192
00:53:20,520 --> 00:53:23,120
Speaker 8: She said in the interview that the office was big

1193
00:53:23,160 --> 00:53:26,960
Speaker 8: on training, but I soon learned that wasn't true. Instead,

1194
00:53:27,000 --> 00:53:29,200
Speaker 8: I was very quickly given a high case load with

1195
00:53:29,239 --> 00:53:32,359
Speaker 8: no instructions on what to do with them. She knew

1196
00:53:32,400 --> 00:53:34,520
Speaker 8: I was new to the industry and would need help

1197
00:53:34,600 --> 00:53:38,280
Speaker 8: understanding complicated legal stuff. But instead of the promised training,

1198
00:53:38,320 --> 00:53:41,880
Speaker 8: I was snapped at for asking questions and making mistakes,

1199
00:53:42,000 --> 00:53:44,760
Speaker 8: and for not asking questions before making mistakes.

1200
00:53:44,840 --> 00:53:45,400
Speaker 7: Oh man.

1201
00:53:45,960 --> 00:53:48,319
Speaker 8: She also told me on my first day that I'd

1202
00:53:48,360 --> 00:53:51,440
Speaker 8: need to learn a new language, which was a complete shock.

1203
00:53:51,640 --> 00:53:54,400
Speaker 8: It didn't take long to see that every employee was

1204
00:53:54,440 --> 00:53:58,279
Speaker 8: scared of her. Her passive aggressiveness and unreasonable expectations took

1205
00:53:58,280 --> 00:54:00,719
Speaker 8: a serious toll on their mental health. When I had

1206
00:54:00,760 --> 00:54:04,200
Speaker 8: been there seven months, three of her five employees gave

1207
00:54:04,400 --> 00:54:07,800
Speaker 8: notice on the same day. Suddenly all that was left

1208
00:54:07,880 --> 00:54:10,839
Speaker 8: was her, me and a freshly hired twenty one year

1209
00:54:10,840 --> 00:54:14,640
Speaker 8: old former frat boy who was an absolute idiot. I

1210
00:54:14,719 --> 00:54:17,919
Speaker 8: was the most senior paralegal there. She needed so much

1211
00:54:17,960 --> 00:54:20,000
Speaker 8: extra help that I ended up asking my mom to

1212
00:54:20,000 --> 00:54:23,160
Speaker 8: come help, a huge mistake. But I was younger and

1213
00:54:23,239 --> 00:54:27,640
Speaker 8: dumber then. I dreaded going to work. I felt sick

1214
00:54:27,760 --> 00:54:31,160
Speaker 8: every Sunday, knowing what the week would bring. Employee retention

1215
00:54:31,440 --> 00:54:34,359
Speaker 8: was terrible. By the end of my employment, twenty one

1216
00:54:34,400 --> 00:54:37,040
Speaker 8: employees had come and gone just within my time there,

1217
00:54:37,400 --> 00:54:39,640
Speaker 8: excluding the people who were there when I started.

1218
00:54:40,040 --> 00:54:41,520
Speaker 1: That is a lot of turnover.

1219
00:54:42,000 --> 00:54:44,560
Speaker 8: She once hired a friend of hers as an attorney

1220
00:54:44,719 --> 00:54:47,480
Speaker 8: after really pressuring her, and by the end of her

1221
00:54:47,480 --> 00:54:55,240
Speaker 8: employment the friendship was finny doo, gone, scramoosed, got obliterated.

1222
00:54:57,000 --> 00:54:58,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, there you go, now you're getting it.

1223
00:54:59,320 --> 00:55:02,080
Speaker 8: Another employee was so scared of her that she quit

1224
00:55:02,160 --> 00:55:04,040
Speaker 8: while the boss was in surgery, like.

1225
00:55:04,000 --> 00:55:07,920
Speaker 7: A oh my gosh op okay.

1226
00:55:07,800 --> 00:55:10,720
Speaker 1: Like a spouse fleeing while there was at work.

1227
00:55:11,120 --> 00:55:15,600
Speaker 8: I frequently compared working for her to a harmful relationship,

1228
00:55:15,600 --> 00:55:18,920
Speaker 8: because there was no better way to describe the psychological torture.

1229
00:55:19,280 --> 00:55:22,919
Speaker 8: She used the same playbook as snap at you one

1230
00:55:22,960 --> 00:55:26,160
Speaker 8: minute and then be super sickly sweet the next. I

1231
00:55:26,200 --> 00:55:27,960
Speaker 8: have a list on my phone of some of the

1232
00:55:28,040 --> 00:55:32,120
Speaker 8: craziest stuff she's done. She took every opportunity to be mean.

1233
00:55:32,600 --> 00:55:34,959
Speaker 8: She ran a background check on my sister in law

1234
00:55:35,160 --> 00:55:38,040
Speaker 8: when she saw my brother was engaged on my mom's Facebook,

1235
00:55:38,320 --> 00:55:41,800
Speaker 8: then just casually told me she did it with no prompting.

1236
00:55:42,200 --> 00:55:44,319
Speaker 8: She offered to run a background check on someone I

1237
00:55:44,400 --> 00:55:47,000
Speaker 8: dated while working there. I think she would have just

1238
00:55:47,080 --> 00:55:49,840
Speaker 8: done it on her own, but luckily my ex was

1239
00:55:50,360 --> 00:55:53,879
Speaker 8: non binary and the name I used talking about them

1240
00:55:53,960 --> 00:55:54,960
Speaker 8: wasn't their legal name.

1241
00:55:55,280 --> 00:55:57,480
Speaker 1: She invited us to sleep over at her apartment.

1242
00:55:58,040 --> 00:56:01,560
Speaker 8: What. I walked upstairs at my house one day and

1243
00:56:01,640 --> 00:56:06,160
Speaker 8: she was just there because she texted my mom asking

1244
00:56:06,239 --> 00:56:08,799
Speaker 8: if she could bring me something. She made lots of

1245
00:56:08,840 --> 00:56:12,719
Speaker 8: comments about me living with my parents. The bizarre behavior

1246
00:56:12,840 --> 00:56:16,200
Speaker 8: was endless. She got advice from a pet psychic about

1247
00:56:16,239 --> 00:56:18,920
Speaker 8: whether she should put her dog down. She told a

1248
00:56:18,960 --> 00:56:22,960
Speaker 8: new employee that she had a vision of her very hispanic,

1249
00:56:23,480 --> 00:56:25,000
Speaker 8: recently deceased grandmother.

1250
00:56:25,400 --> 00:56:28,400
Speaker 1: The grandmother is white, she told another.

1251
00:56:28,160 --> 00:56:33,960
Speaker 8: Only air ball, just like just like crazy.

1252
00:56:33,960 --> 00:56:36,520
Speaker 2: No no, no, no, no, no, no no no, he's Hispanic.

1253
00:56:37,120 --> 00:56:39,160
Speaker 1: Uh what? Oh my god.

1254
00:56:40,120 --> 00:56:42,400
Speaker 8: She told another employee that she had a vision of

1255
00:56:42,440 --> 00:56:45,880
Speaker 8: a blonde man and thought it was her boyfriend. The

1256
00:56:45,920 --> 00:56:48,759
Speaker 8: boyfriend is black. She told her the air ball again.

1257
00:56:48,880 --> 00:56:50,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, just only airball.

1258
00:56:50,440 --> 00:56:54,080
Speaker 8: She told me her entire dating history disgusting, including when

1259
00:56:54,120 --> 00:56:57,480
Speaker 8: she cheated on her girlfriend, not that she would consider

1260
00:56:57,480 --> 00:57:00,840
Speaker 8: it cheating because her girlfriend kept accusing her her of cheating.

1261
00:57:01,320 --> 00:57:03,680
Speaker 1: She told my wait, what.

1262
00:57:04,520 --> 00:57:09,880
Speaker 8: So because your girlfriend accused you of cheating, you're not gonna.

1263
00:57:09,760 --> 00:57:11,399
Speaker 1: You're like, well, I guess I got a cheat because

1264
00:57:11,440 --> 00:57:12,120
Speaker 1: she accused me.

1265
00:57:12,600 --> 00:57:13,560
Speaker 7: I was already doing it.

1266
00:57:13,560 --> 00:57:15,920
Speaker 8: It's like somebody being like, are you on and you're

1267
00:57:15,920 --> 00:57:18,160
Speaker 8: being like, I am now thanks to you? Do you

1268
00:57:18,160 --> 00:57:20,400
Speaker 8: want me to be Yeah, it's time Yep, the time

1269
00:57:20,480 --> 00:57:22,560
Speaker 8: is now. Well because you said that.

1270
00:57:23,000 --> 00:57:26,160
Speaker 1: What is this woman? She told my mom.

1271
00:57:26,320 --> 00:57:29,080
Speaker 8: That she left her ex wife shortly after the ex

1272
00:57:29,160 --> 00:57:32,640
Speaker 8: gave birth because she wasn't attracted to her anymore, and

1273
00:57:32,680 --> 00:57:35,360
Speaker 8: that they hadn't slept together for years before she left.

1274
00:57:35,680 --> 00:57:37,960
Speaker 8: She told me I should stop dating men and non

1275
00:57:38,000 --> 00:57:41,960
Speaker 8: binary people and went on a rant about how end

1276
00:57:42,000 --> 00:57:45,320
Speaker 8: buys and gender diverse people as a whole just have

1277
00:57:45,440 --> 00:57:50,120
Speaker 8: too much baggage. She used my spicy sleep orientation as

1278
00:57:50,200 --> 00:57:54,840
Speaker 8: a pitch to new clients to show how LGBTQ the

1279
00:57:54,960 --> 00:57:59,240
Speaker 8: office was. To be clear, I'm very much out and proud,

1280
00:57:59,320 --> 00:58:04,200
Speaker 8: and I have no problem with clients knowing that. It

1281
00:58:04,400 --> 00:58:07,000
Speaker 8: was the fact that my identity was being used as

1282
00:58:07,040 --> 00:58:09,760
Speaker 8: a tool for capitalism that I had an issue with.

1283
00:58:10,160 --> 00:58:16,040
Speaker 8: She bragged about helping campaign for harsher anti working claws,

1284
00:58:17,360 --> 00:58:21,440
Speaker 8: which only made spicy sleepwork less safe for the spicy

1285
00:58:21,520 --> 00:58:26,120
Speaker 8: sleep workers. She says plants are her friends and she

1286
00:58:26,200 --> 00:58:30,320
Speaker 8: wouldn't stop buying them, which caused a gnat infestation. Is

1287
00:58:31,640 --> 00:58:36,000
Speaker 8: who is this person she's having this conversation with your mom?

1288
00:58:36,440 --> 00:58:38,280
Speaker 7: No, these are all the crazy things that she's done.

1289
00:58:38,320 --> 00:58:40,960
Speaker 1: Okay, I hope that this is crazy.

1290
00:58:41,600 --> 00:58:44,880
Speaker 8: Some of this was had with Op's mom, though, yeah,

1291
00:58:44,920 --> 00:58:45,560
Speaker 8: I guess not.

1292
00:58:45,800 --> 00:58:46,960
Speaker 7: Yeah, okay, gosh.

1293
00:58:47,440 --> 00:58:50,640
Speaker 8: She asked a random lady who was related to a

1294
00:58:50,680 --> 00:58:53,320
Speaker 8: client if she could take her picture and paint her.

1295
00:58:53,800 --> 00:58:58,000
Speaker 8: She says she's basically African, she's white. When an employee

1296
00:58:58,080 --> 00:59:01,040
Speaker 8: who held an admin position to become a nanny, she

1297
00:59:01,160 --> 00:59:03,840
Speaker 8: lectured her about wasting her potential and how she was

1298
00:59:03,880 --> 00:59:06,560
Speaker 8: too smart to be a nanny. We're shaming nannies now,

1299
00:59:06,680 --> 00:59:07,920
Speaker 8: Oh my gosh.

1300
00:59:08,440 --> 00:59:10,640
Speaker 7: Okay, straight people and nanny's.

1301
00:59:10,880 --> 00:59:15,720
Speaker 8: She called all her adult employees kids. She said, Brazilians

1302
00:59:15,720 --> 00:59:16,560
Speaker 8: aren't trustworthy.

1303
00:59:16,840 --> 00:59:17,840
Speaker 1: I'm done, I'm done.

1304
00:59:17,960 --> 00:59:20,760
Speaker 7: No, you will never talk about my Brazilian men this way.

1305
00:59:21,280 --> 00:59:21,920
Speaker 2: They are hot?

1306
00:59:22,520 --> 00:59:23,800
Speaker 1: Are they are good? Wait?

1307
00:59:23,840 --> 00:59:26,280
Speaker 2: Are you saying Brazilian men are not trustworthy?

1308
00:59:26,120 --> 00:59:27,680
Speaker 7: They are trustworthy?

1309
00:59:27,680 --> 00:59:28,640
Speaker 1: Do you know how hot they are?

1310
00:59:28,680 --> 00:59:30,440
Speaker 7: Do not even give me on this now, do you

1311
00:59:30,480 --> 00:59:31,080
Speaker 7: just drop them?

1312
00:59:31,320 --> 00:59:34,360
Speaker 1: I don't trust the Brazilian. She just pick a lay lady.

1313
00:59:34,560 --> 00:59:37,280
Speaker 1: She gave me a is that bookmark?

1314
00:59:38,080 --> 00:59:40,680
Speaker 8: She dropped her dirty underwear on the floor and mentioned

1315
00:59:41,080 --> 00:59:43,760
Speaker 8: her huge front air bags multiple times.

1316
00:59:43,760 --> 00:59:45,440
Speaker 2: Why else does it underwear dirty?

1317
00:59:45,640 --> 00:59:47,880
Speaker 1: Where was that? The work? At work?

1318
00:59:48,160 --> 00:59:49,320
Speaker 7: Is there a launder machineer?

1319
00:59:49,440 --> 00:59:50,760
Speaker 1: What is going on?

1320
00:59:52,160 --> 00:59:56,160
Speaker 8: She interrogated one of my coworkers about where I went

1321
00:59:56,400 --> 00:59:59,480
Speaker 8: when I left the office at five pm on a Friday.

1322
01:00:00,120 --> 01:00:02,120
Speaker 8: One of her guesses was that I was going on

1323
01:00:02,160 --> 01:00:06,440
Speaker 8: a date. It was actually a boudoir shoot, but also

1324
01:00:06,640 --> 01:00:07,560
Speaker 8: none of her business.

1325
01:00:07,840 --> 01:00:09,720
Speaker 7: She wants to see those photos anyways, go on.

1326
01:00:10,560 --> 01:00:14,240
Speaker 8: She was basically offended when an employee said that his

1327
01:00:14,280 --> 01:00:17,000
Speaker 8: personal time was for him and his wife and did

1328
01:00:17,040 --> 01:00:19,960
Speaker 8: not text his personal phone about work. She texted me

1329
01:00:20,040 --> 01:00:22,360
Speaker 8: at ten thirty pm on a Sunday to see if

1330
01:00:22,360 --> 01:00:23,760
Speaker 8: an employee had blocked her.

1331
01:00:24,280 --> 01:00:27,040
Speaker 1: She had. She didn't tell me her dog.

1332
01:00:26,920 --> 01:00:29,680
Speaker 8: Was dog aggressive when I brought my dog to the office,

1333
01:00:29,760 --> 01:00:31,840
Speaker 8: and she didn't think to put the dog food out

1334
01:00:31,840 --> 01:00:35,000
Speaker 8: of reach when there were two dogs present. The unprofessional

1335
01:00:35,000 --> 01:00:39,440
Speaker 8: behavior continued. Her lipstick application looked like a clown's. Now

1336
01:00:39,480 --> 01:00:42,800
Speaker 8: I know this is mean, but I've earned the right

1337
01:00:42,920 --> 01:00:43,920
Speaker 8: to be mean about her.

1338
01:00:44,520 --> 01:00:46,080
Speaker 1: She did manic reorganizing.

1339
01:00:46,200 --> 01:00:51,360
Speaker 8: She called her partner dream Crusher to everyone but her heckya.

1340
01:00:51,520 --> 01:00:55,240
Speaker 8: She showed PDA with her partner, including public booty grabs.

1341
01:00:55,480 --> 01:00:58,160
Speaker 8: She told people she was sworn into the Supreme Court,

1342
01:00:58,520 --> 01:01:01,200
Speaker 8: when the reality is she was sworn into being able

1343
01:01:01,240 --> 01:01:04,360
Speaker 8: to argue in front of the Supreme Court. She put

1344
01:01:04,360 --> 01:01:06,400
Speaker 8: a shrimp in the fridge and got mad at everyone

1345
01:01:06,440 --> 01:01:10,080
Speaker 8: for having left shrimp in the fridge. She routinely stole

1346
01:01:10,120 --> 01:01:15,360
Speaker 8: food from employees. She read an employee's personal notebook. She

1347
01:01:15,520 --> 01:01:18,000
Speaker 8: had us go to her apartment frequently enough that I

1348
01:01:18,000 --> 01:01:20,479
Speaker 8: could find my way from the lobby. That's also where

1349
01:01:20,520 --> 01:01:24,440
Speaker 8: I eventually resigned. She walked around barefoot. She asked my

1350
01:01:24,560 --> 01:01:26,560
Speaker 8: zodiac sign during my interview.

1351
01:01:26,720 --> 01:01:29,000
Speaker 2: I love how this is just the list. I love this.

1352
01:01:29,480 --> 01:01:34,200
Speaker 8: Despite being a Saffic, she was gus heck. She claimed

1353
01:01:34,200 --> 01:01:37,640
Speaker 8: to be an LGBTQ advocate, but she had microaggressions to

1354
01:01:37,680 --> 01:01:40,840
Speaker 8: spare for everyone but the L and the ge. She

1355
01:01:40,920 --> 01:01:44,000
Speaker 8: misjendered her high school X because that's what she identified

1356
01:01:44,040 --> 01:01:46,760
Speaker 8: as at the time. She said, I'm an mpath when

1357
01:01:46,800 --> 01:01:48,840
Speaker 8: she doesn't know what empathy is. She told me my

1358
01:01:48,920 --> 01:01:52,960
Speaker 8: coworker's immigration status without permission. She texted me Happy Birthday

1359
01:01:52,960 --> 01:01:56,600
Speaker 8: three months late after I quit, meaning it for her

1360
01:01:56,800 --> 01:01:59,440
Speaker 8: former intern, who also hates her.

1361
01:02:00,600 --> 01:02:02,120
Speaker 7: I wouldn't beat this woman.

1362
01:02:02,240 --> 01:02:02,960
Speaker 1: No, we've got more.

1363
01:02:03,120 --> 01:02:05,000
Speaker 2: We got so much, we have more. I love this.

1364
01:02:05,200 --> 01:02:05,600
Speaker 2: This is a lie.

1365
01:02:05,640 --> 01:02:07,200
Speaker 7: I just want to meet this person. I know they

1366
01:02:07,280 --> 01:02:07,800
Speaker 7: live in LA.

1367
01:02:08,160 --> 01:02:09,280
Speaker 2: This is a shopping list.

1368
01:02:09,400 --> 01:02:12,640
Speaker 8: She told her non white employees, both in their twenties,

1369
01:02:12,640 --> 01:02:14,840
Speaker 8: that it was probably too late to bother going back

1370
01:02:14,840 --> 01:02:17,160
Speaker 8: to school and that they should just stay paralegals.

1371
01:02:17,520 --> 01:02:18,880
Speaker 1: She never said the same to me.

1372
01:02:19,120 --> 01:02:22,240
Speaker 8: Oh my, I absolutely could go on, but you get

1373
01:02:22,240 --> 01:02:22,840
Speaker 8: the picture.

1374
01:02:23,120 --> 01:02:23,880
Speaker 7: You did go on.

1375
01:02:24,280 --> 01:02:26,680
Speaker 8: After years of dealing with this, I decided to go

1376
01:02:26,720 --> 01:02:29,320
Speaker 8: back to school starting in August twenty twenty four. I

1377
01:02:29,400 --> 01:02:31,640
Speaker 8: realized I had enough save for a down payment on

1378
01:02:31,680 --> 01:02:33,840
Speaker 8: a condo and that my mortgage payments would be the

1379
01:02:33,880 --> 01:02:36,440
Speaker 8: same as renting. I bought a condo near my school

1380
01:02:36,440 --> 01:02:38,760
Speaker 8: and moved in a few days before classes began. I

1381
01:02:38,800 --> 01:02:40,960
Speaker 8: stayed on in my job for a while after starting

1382
01:02:41,000 --> 01:02:43,640
Speaker 8: part time school, but eventually realized I needed to cut

1383
01:02:43,640 --> 01:02:44,720
Speaker 8: back on hours.

1384
01:02:44,440 --> 01:02:47,200
Speaker 1: To balance it all. After I cut back on hours.

1385
01:02:47,200 --> 01:02:50,520
Speaker 8: I kept getting assigned new cases even though my workload

1386
01:02:50,560 --> 01:02:52,880
Speaker 8: was already over one hundred and thirty cases.

1387
01:02:53,000 --> 01:02:55,080
Speaker 1: Then the checks started bouncing.

1388
01:02:55,280 --> 01:02:57,800
Speaker 8: Maybe started is the wrong word, since the first time

1389
01:02:57,880 --> 01:03:00,200
Speaker 8: was in March twenty twenty four, but that's seems like

1390
01:03:00,280 --> 01:03:02,640
Speaker 8: a one time thing at first. Then it happened again

1391
01:03:02,720 --> 01:03:05,680
Speaker 8: in October of the same year, and not just to me.

1392
01:03:06,240 --> 01:03:07,600
Speaker 8: I tried to meet with her to come up with

1393
01:03:07,640 --> 01:03:09,960
Speaker 8: a plan to prevent it from happening again, but by

1394
01:03:10,000 --> 01:03:13,120
Speaker 8: then I was managing paralegal and was often the voice

1395
01:03:13,120 --> 01:03:17,280
Speaker 8: of reasoning in business and staffing decisions. Her plan was

1396
01:03:17,320 --> 01:03:20,840
Speaker 8: to quote get more money, which is literally not a plan.

1397
01:03:21,160 --> 01:03:24,280
Speaker 8: That is a goal that could only be reached with

1398
01:03:24,440 --> 01:03:29,360
Speaker 8: an actual plan. Then the third paycheck bounced, I handed

1399
01:03:29,400 --> 01:03:31,360
Speaker 8: her my letter of resignation. When I went to her

1400
01:03:31,360 --> 01:03:34,080
Speaker 8: apartment for her to write the makeup check. She didn't

1401
01:03:34,080 --> 01:03:36,040
Speaker 8: fight me on it and assumed it was because law

1402
01:03:36,080 --> 01:03:40,080
Speaker 8: school is hard. It is, but obviously I quit over money.

1403
01:03:40,680 --> 01:03:43,480
Speaker 8: That was the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. My notice had my

1404
01:03:43,560 --> 01:03:46,000
Speaker 8: last day as January third, since it was right before

1405
01:03:46,040 --> 01:03:49,720
Speaker 8: second semester started. Flash forward to Monday, I get a

1406
01:03:49,760 --> 01:03:54,080
Speaker 8: notification from Rocket money about an abnormally large payment being made,

1407
01:03:54,480 --> 01:03:58,000
Speaker 8: my check bouncing for the fourth time. I texted her

1408
01:03:58,040 --> 01:04:00,439
Speaker 8: that night it bounced again, and she did it reply.

1409
01:04:01,120 --> 01:04:02,919
Speaker 8: I tried to reach her all day the next day,

1410
01:04:03,160 --> 01:04:05,800
Speaker 8: and she kept saying she was busy or fully ignoring

1411
01:04:05,840 --> 01:04:08,600
Speaker 8: the texts. I finally got her on the phone at

1412
01:04:08,600 --> 01:04:11,640
Speaker 8: almost five o'clock. She said that she didn't have the

1413
01:04:11,680 --> 01:04:13,600
Speaker 8: money to pay me, and I said that I can't

1414
01:04:13,640 --> 01:04:15,000
Speaker 8: work if I'm not getting paid.

1415
01:04:15,400 --> 01:04:16,360
Speaker 1: She said, okay.

1416
01:04:16,880 --> 01:04:18,640
Speaker 8: I dropped my work from home stuff off at the

1417
01:04:18,640 --> 01:04:21,040
Speaker 8: office the next day and left a sticky note threatening

1418
01:04:21,040 --> 01:04:22,600
Speaker 8: to report her to Department of Labor.

1419
01:04:23,000 --> 01:04:24,800
Speaker 1: She venmowed me the money the next day.

1420
01:04:24,880 --> 01:04:25,800
Speaker 7: Oh my gosh.

1421
01:04:25,840 --> 01:04:27,880
Speaker 8: I still had to nag her after that to get

1422
01:04:27,880 --> 01:04:30,640
Speaker 8: a correct W two and to get her contribution to

1423
01:04:30,680 --> 01:04:32,880
Speaker 8: my four oh one K, which was supposed to come

1424
01:04:32,960 --> 01:04:35,040
Speaker 8: as a lump sum at the end of the calendar

1425
01:04:35,120 --> 01:04:38,560
Speaker 8: year but didn't. All that got wrapped up in mid February.

1426
01:04:39,480 --> 01:04:45,720
Speaker 8: Now I'm finally free of her. Ooh huzzah, And after

1427
01:04:45,880 --> 01:04:48,600
Speaker 8: a bout of initial depression, I'm doing better than I

1428
01:04:48,640 --> 01:04:51,360
Speaker 8: had in years. I got what I needed out of

1429
01:04:51,360 --> 01:04:54,360
Speaker 8: that job, a law school recommendation letter at work experience

1430
01:04:54,360 --> 01:04:56,520
Speaker 8: and enough money to become a homeowner at twenty six.

1431
01:04:56,600 --> 01:04:58,440
Speaker 8: Oh my god, I took a break from working so

1432
01:04:58,480 --> 01:05:01,400
Speaker 8: I can focus on school. Unfortunately, had to take out

1433
01:05:01,440 --> 01:05:04,960
Speaker 8: student loans, but it's fine. Nearly all my peers have them,

1434
01:05:05,360 --> 01:05:07,720
Speaker 8: and for a lot more money, so we have a

1435
01:05:07,720 --> 01:05:10,240
Speaker 8: little bit more story left. I learned a lot from

1436
01:05:10,320 --> 01:05:13,720
Speaker 8: that experience about the law, but I also learned what

1437
01:05:13,800 --> 01:05:15,080
Speaker 8: I don't want in a career.

1438
01:05:15,440 --> 01:05:17,200
Speaker 1: I think the latter will benefit me more in the

1439
01:05:17,240 --> 01:05:17,760
Speaker 1: long run.

1440
01:05:17,920 --> 01:05:19,680
Speaker 8: I don't think I'll ever want to work for a

1441
01:05:19,720 --> 01:05:23,120
Speaker 8: company without NHR department again, and next time I won't

1442
01:05:23,200 --> 01:05:25,800
Speaker 8: endure it at the cost of my mental health. I'd

1443
01:05:25,840 --> 01:05:28,400
Speaker 8: be fine taking a lower salary in a legal field

1444
01:05:28,520 --> 01:05:31,640
Speaker 8: less appealing to me if it meant having peace of mind.

1445
01:05:33,200 --> 01:05:33,600
Speaker 1: MS.

1446
01:05:34,000 --> 01:05:36,680
Speaker 8: If you somehow happen across this post, I don't give

1447
01:05:36,760 --> 01:05:37,160
Speaker 8: an air.

1448
01:05:38,320 --> 01:05:39,760
Speaker 1: I never want to hear from you a kame.

1449
01:05:40,560 --> 01:05:43,040
Speaker 8: Reading this finally tells you how I felt since twenty

1450
01:05:43,080 --> 01:05:46,240
Speaker 8: twenty two. Before you make contact or in other ways

1451
01:05:46,280 --> 01:05:49,280
Speaker 8: try to retaliate, remember that I attend the school where

1452
01:05:49,280 --> 01:05:52,040
Speaker 8: you are an adjunct professor, and remember how much I

1453
01:05:52,160 --> 01:05:55,280
Speaker 8: know about you. I'm finding peace by not having you

1454
01:05:55,320 --> 01:05:57,520
Speaker 8: in my life, but if you disrupt it, then I

1455
01:05:57,600 --> 01:06:00,800
Speaker 8: have no qualms about going to the Dean of students

1456
01:06:01,160 --> 01:06:04,640
Speaker 8: and telling them everything I wrote here and everything I didn't.

1457
01:06:05,120 --> 01:06:06,680
Speaker 1: Yes, that's what But a me